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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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'sup /tg/. Today I shall tell you the tale of how we turned a tense horror game into Starsky And Hutch With Vampires.
So, we’re playing in a nWoD hunter game. Set in the modern day, in ‘pseudo new york’.
Theres the GM, a friend of mine who’s pretty chill. Likes his action films. The Chef, my buddy, tends to play ‘hilarious bullshit’ characters, me, The Chick who likes her horror and The New Guy who’s never rp’d before.
The Chick plays a hobo who’s Seen Some Shit, and The New Guy plays some plitical activist left-wing kid. My buddy the chef is gonna be late, so he phones up and says can somebody write up a character for him. I create Hank ‘The Submarine’ Pullen and Dirk Torpedo.
So, Hank and Dirk are a pair of cops who are CONVINCED theyre in a 70’s cop show as the stereotypical ‘maveric who gets results/plays by the book’ combo. Both have huge afro’s, moustaches and my guy Dirk (the maveric) drives a pink caddilac. Hank is the smarter one, with good social and investigative skills and decent in a fight. Dirk is thick as pigshit, but high presence and an amazing driver and shooter. Between us we can do most stuff.
The Chef turns up, sees his character sheet and imediately puts on 70’s slap-bass funk on the hi-fi. We refuse any instruction to turn it off, and it was my house.
The game starts and Hank&Dirk are looking up a ‘paranormal neighbourhood watch’ chatroom. We hear about a load of disapearence near a local factory and go check it out.
Arriving at the factory in the caddie, we turn up, the Chef puts on stakeout music and we procceed to stakeout the joint whilst smoking and eating takout. Bear in mind that we are two be-afro’d cops in a pink cadilac blaring funk music, we get noticed by the other two PCs, who’d come to investigate the same thing. They wander over, we becon them into the car and discuss what’s going on. In the end, we decide to send the Hobo to break in and have a looma round whilst I cause a disturbance. Hank and the New Guy’s hippy will keep overwatch.
I stroll up to the factory gates, pull out my badge and gun and anounce ‘THERE IS AN ESCAPED RABID DOG WHICH I MUST FIND LET ME INTO YOUR PROPERTY’. The security guard doesn’t believe me but I point the gun at him and walk in anyway. The factory is pretty empty, so whilst the Hobo Chick searches round the back I start rumaging through stuff anouncing ‘MAYBE THE DOG IS IN THIS FILING CABINET I SHALL CHECK’ to keep up the ruse. Eventually, I get a call from my boss (who we dubbed Police Chief MacStache after his moustache) telling to stop fucking around and leave.
Half an hour later, the hobo hasn’t come back, so we decide to go in. I wander up, and the security guard gets a gun out and tells me he phoned the police chief for a chat (Dirk sees nothing odd about this) and learnt that there was no dog. Thinking on his feet, Dirk says ‘DID I SAY DOG I MEANT FIRE THERE IS A FIRE AND YOU ALL NEED TO LEAVE’. When the security guard doesn’t buy this, he shoots the guard and runs into the building shouting ‘EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE NOW’. At this point it all gets a bit mental, the hobo has been trapped in a cupboard full of guns hiding from a vampire the whole time and a huge gunfight breaks out.
In the end, the actual cops turn up, everybody gets arrested apart from Hank and Dirk who get thrown out of the police force and the Hobo Chick who manages to escape. The session ends with Hank and Dirk Vowing to “BUST THIS CASE WIDE OPEN”, and “IT’S A GODDAM CONSPIRACY, AROO”.
So, next session, the New Guy didn’t turn up. The unemployed Hank and Dirk are on the same proto-hunter chatroom at Hanks flat. Hank (security concious) is logged in as POHP32 and Dirk (a moron) is Police_Officer_Dirk. After a brief discussion about what to do next, basically every hunter in the city agrees that we’re going after this factory again tonight. The chat ends with POHP32 telling Dirk not to use his actual name, and Dirk responding with ‘At least you know who I am. Are you my fellow officer Hank?’. This did not bode well.
We turn up that evening in the caddie, and notice a bunch of other hunters we know about similarly waiting for the signal to storm the place. Suddenly, COP CARS EVERYWHERE, armed response units and shit, and a bunch of our allies get attacked by the cops. We drive over to the Hobo Chick, Hank leans out of the car winder, declares ‘I SHALL SAVE YOU FAIR MAIDEN’, grabs her and we drive off in a squeel of tires to the sound of booming 70’s funk.
Your standard wacky chase scene ensues, and to cut a long story short we drive through a bunch of boxes down at the dock and end up killing most of our pursuers by mistake.
our pursuers by mistake.
The three PC hunters retreat to Hank’s flat, where we meet our immediate superior Inspector Colin. Colin tells us to stop fucking around, things are too serious for us to pull our normal shit. We ask what colin’s doing, and as he starts to explain himself Dirk hears sirens aproaching- clearly this was a setup. We leap out of the back window, pile into Colin’s can (NOO THE CADDIE) and drive off. We are now officially fugitives in a stolen car. It is at this point that we find a couple of pints of blood and a wooden stake in colin’s glove compartment…
Eventually, we get a call from Colin begging us to come and talk to him at a nightclub, as he needs to explain the real situation to us. Having found the blood and stake we are somewhat suspicious, but agree to meet him in the street.
Ten minutes later we go to the meetup point in colin’s stolen car. We arrive to see colin and another polie officer we recognise engaged in hand-to-hand combat with a bunch of figures as civilians run screaming. From how superhumanly fast they’re moving and the fact that Colin and his buddy have sprouted huge animalistic claws we figure all the combatants are vampires. As we arrive Colin’s teammate is ripped apart and colin turns to flee towards us. He hurls a package at us shouting ‘I’m in too deep but there’s still a chance for you’ and melts into the floor- typial vampire bullshit.
So, now we have three Definitely Enemy vampires charging at us with Celerity and Vigour up. Us three hunters stay in the car, plowing into them and shooting them with incendiary rounds. Two escape, but one vampire is set alight and promptly run over repetedly whilst it panics, until it’s just a greasy red smear in the road. We leave to the sound of blaring slap bass, and session two ends.
It seems you had the foresight to type this out beforehand instead of making us wait. Bravo, sir.
Session three begins with us investigating colin’s package in Dirk’s safe house. We get a tape explaining who the major vampires in the city are, apparently we are inducted into a big Hunter organisation now. (OC we’re working for Task Force Valkyrie without knowing it as far as I can tell). We learn that a local socialite, who the GM describes as ‘pretty much paris hilton’ is one of the vampire’s bosses, so she becomes our enxt target. Despite the GM having intricate backstory for her, it becomes “WE WILL KILL HARRIS PILTON TONIGHT”.
We do some snooping around and manage to locate Harris Pilton’s nightclub. We follow her out of it discretely, and shadow her to a warehouse on the edge of town. She disapears into a backroom so we investigate the place and find two terrifying things. One are several living, opium’d up Missing Person’s rigged up to a machine to extract their blood. The other is The Caddie. Our character’s are torn, but eventually decide that we must kill the monster responsible for this.
Hank takes up position on the roof with a rifle with incendiary rounds, I’m in colin’s car (which now has spikes on the front for better vehicular assault) and the Hobo Chick hides in a bin with her trusty knives.
Harris Pilton emerges flanked by a pair of HUGE ghoul bodyguards. As soon as she sets foot outside, Hank shoots her with the incendiary and she catches on fire and fear-frenzies. She kicks of celerity and tries to run for it. I tell the gm I wish to pursue her.
“you can’t, she’s running at about sixty miles an hour” clearly the GM had Plans for her.
“I’m in a car”
Suffice to say, Harris Pilton was smashed against the wall by the Colin car and trapped in place. Dirk Leaps into the Caddie, and runs her over repeatedly until she’s another greasy smear. The Hobo jobs both of the ghouls with help from Hank Sniping, and we drive away to the sound of funk music.
Unfortunatly, we realise that all our cash was in the colin car. Going back, we find the place taped off (after only half an hour D: ) and colin waiting for us. We shout our defience to him and drive away at top speed.
The remainder of the session is spent robbing people for money, because as hunter’s we need cash as Hank and the Hobo Chick are kinda injured at this point and need medical attention. By this point we’re pretty used to being chased by the cops, so the session ends with us in our hidout counting our ill-gotten gains.
Session 4 was the most recent. Following up some leads, we’ve been to Harris Pilton’s house. Hank intimidated the maid into letting us in, telling her to “STAY IN SCHOOL KID.” When she responded that she was twenty six, Hank replied “ERM… WINNERS DON’T DO DRUGS! I MUST LEAVE NOW!” We grab a bunch of Harris Pilton’s stuff to sell and comb for clues and leave before the fucking cops turn up as they always do. Other than this, the session was fairly uneventful… we robbed some people for dinner and Dirk and The Hobo Chick had a brief adventure rtrying to get shady mexicans to give our car a new paint-job. It’s now black, with pink flames and decals of skulls and roses. We also pimped out it’s speakers and drove out of the chop-shop without paying.The session ended with Hank getting a phone call from Harris Pilton’s sire, who we have agreed to meet in a park as she has an ‘offer’ to make us, and we intend to set her on fire and then run her over.
So that's basically it.
Me and the chef have completely ignored the intricate conspiricy laid out for us in favor of afros, slap bass and shenanigans. The GM seems rather pissed off that we have no idea what's going on and jsut kill things for shigs, but it's the most fun I've had in WoD wor aaages.
Im dissapointed that things like this dont happen to me. The funniest thing that happened to me is when my friend killed most of his Spacemarines in a 40k game by rolling the scatter dice so badly that a missile landed on 3 of his own units.
> we intend to set her on fire and then run her over.

the game's been on a haiatus for a while 'cos getting players together at the same time is a pain in the neck. We're trying to get the GM to start it up again.
This is Hank. What Dirk has failed to mention is the mental breakdowns I've been going through. Dirk's had to make me breakfast whilst I've been sobbing in the shower more than once. And that he's decided to bring along this 6'4" black pornstar named "Vlad the Impaler". And that there's this chick who keeps trying to tell us about the organisation she's working for, but he keeps speaking over, or revving the engine whenever she trys to talk.
also 'YEAH BOI WE GETTIN CRUNK' and Pubic Bear and Pablo The Heroin Pusher.

These sound like stories I wish to hear. Loving the tales so far.
10/10 I lol'd and wish for more shenanigans
So do we. After rolling 9 successes to intimidate that maid, I managed to swag Harris Pillton's purse, including her blackberry. We followed up on some of the adresses with specific markings leaving us with a number of leads to follow. All I know is we're definitely not showing up to that Daeva bitch's rendezvous. Unarmed.
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> 6'4" black pornstar
> "Vlad the Impaler"

I'm literally in tears you magnificent bastards
so, when I wanted to get the car a new paintjob and plates Hank refused to give me the money for it because he thought it was irresponsible. I was in the chop-shop, and phoned him up for the cash, and he refused. I was surrounded by armed mexicans who wanted paying 500 dollars, and I only had about 60 cents on me.
In the end me and the Hobo Chick went and broke into cars for money. She thieved the car and I drove around shouting quotes from Lil' Jon's raps firing off my guns and playing loud funk so nobody would pay attention to what she was doing. There was a beutiful moment when a guy turned up, saw me, did a double take and drove away slowly.

Also, a russian recoving alcoholic catburglar called jimmy the fink started hanging around with us. He thought we were still cops and we could wipe out his criminal record and get him a visa. He reactedly badly (5 bottles of vodka and some sobbing badly) when he learned that we were wanted criminals who believed in vampires.

Apparently there are also changelings, but who fucking knows.
> I drove around shouting quotes from Lil' Jon's raps firing off my guns and playing loud funk so nobody would pay attention to what she was doing
oh fucking god that sounds priceless
Alright you fuckers, find a night when you both and at least one other player are free, and we'll run another session.

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