Anyone there?

All right, say what you will about these threads, but 13 threads and a drinking song if anything is creative. I applaud your efforts in establishing what ever the hell this is.

>>20801457
I am, but I have nothing to post.

>>20801457
>>20801490
I swear I will have the festival story done before the day is out.

>>20801457
I am. I'm preoccupied, but I'm here.
Are you here?

>>20801514
I'm always here, thinking up a piece for later.

I want to write fag, but every time I finish something the story has moved on from the subject I wrote about. This thing is growing at a terrifying rate.

have you folks established which weapons are commonly used in this setting?

>>20801272
I could post mine, but it's kinda heavy for the opening story in a thread.

Ideally I would have Fear give it a final glance over but I could just post it if he isn't around right now

>>20801585
Are any of us really ever here?
>>20801586
Then screw them. Catch up to the present at your own pace.

>>20801587
Every thing.

>>20801509

I look forward to it. And maybe I should write one of my own...

>>20801586
You wouldn't be the only one playing perpetual catch up, just go for it.

>>20801621
Hmmm I may very well writefag for the first time, though I need to read the other threads first.

Also to whoever did it, killer work on the 1d4chan page.

>>20801586
Dude, just write about what subject you like. If you have an Ork Battle Story, FOR THE LOVE THE DIVINES, SHARE IT.

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>>20801587
Melee weapons? All sorts. When the TeeGeeians arrived, they brought a lot of armor and blade designs with them. A single TeeGee squad could have members with a Khopesh, a Nodachi, or Katars.

Only we have gunpowder. However, it is in very short supply, and carefully stored, reserved for emergencies.

>>20801457
Was just waiting for a new thread so I don't get a duplicate file entry.

>>20801272
>pauldrons

>>20801586
Write about whichever time period you want. It kinda jumps around; one guy wrote his character's natural death, then went back to writing in earlier times.

>>20801664
Bzt. Not quite right. The Men-At-Arms and militia are equipped uniformly within a platoon. Less so in the militia, but uniform gear is the theory. I would add it to the 1d4chan page, but I'm lazy.

Amongst the knights though, yeah, melee and ranged weapons, as well as armour styles, are about as diverse as you care to think. Gunpowder is rare as gold dust though and only used in very small quantities.

Alrighty, I guess i'll start posting part 2 of my story, if just to stimulate the thread a bit.

>>20801912
I'd post what I have, but what I have isn't very much. God damn but I hate dealing with English bureaucracy. If only the different departments would talk to each other, they wouldn't NEED this, but noooo... I'm really sorry guys.

I should write, I would write, but I am too lazy. Sorry gents.

for the marriage vow thing brought up last thread, it may be stolen straight from underwater ray romano (which could make it more fitting, seeing as that's fluffy tails the anime), but
"I give you everything of myself. From a single strand of hair, to my last drop of blood, and my pure undefiled soul."


also, i'm still lurking, but i have to catch up on the homework that i've been putting off for the last week thanks to all of you

Well friends, the last time you heard me tell my tale, things weren’t exactly looking up for yours truly. I had touched down in a world everyone dreams of going to bringing new meaning to the phrase “careful what you wish for”. I nearly died from a combination of freezing cold, starvation and dickass elves, got saved by cat people and fell in love with one then killed those dickass elves, fostered a little elf girl and ‘lost’ her nearly a year later and fell out of love with my catgirl savior. Reality has a funny way of kicking a guy in the balls just when things are looking up for him doesn’t it? Things could have been worse, but it should didn’t feel like it at the time. Might be why our good Captain changed all my shifts to work opposite his, so he wouldn’t have to deal with a depressing stick in the mud.

Can’t really blame him.

(side note, duplicate file entry for character portrait, figures)

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Still saw Purraija around town sometimes. Like I mentioned before, we still cared about each other and were still good friends, but basically being friendzoned by your wife hits your ego pretty damn hard. One day she even started trying to set me up with some other girls, Felim and otherwise, but being the first guy to split up with a waifu earns you a bit of infamy so nothing ever came of it. Some of the bolder guys took it upon themselves to give me some relationship advice though, and acted as a catalyst for change for me. When asking the guys with more than one waifu how they could manage to stay in love with one, much less more, they delivered onto me a revelation. Most explained in different ways that they didn’t need to “stay in love” because they didn’t need to, they just did. From the moment they met them, the second their gazes met, they both just….knew.

One of them said it best, putting it quite eloquently stating “It was like being hit in the heart with a lightning bolt made of sunshine and unicorn farts.”

Things started making a lot more sense then, but a whole lot of new answers and a whole lot of new questions all at the same time. What I and Purraija had built was an old-fashioned relationship generally built over time, the ones that typically “worked” back in the Old Realm. Everyone else was seemingly experiencing what amounted to “Love at first sight”, but seemingly defying all logic and actually standing the test of time and seemingly affecting both parties just as strongly.
Maybe there is something about this world (magic maybe?) that allows for such a phenomena to occur? Food for thought.

With a new spring in my step and a new outlook on love, I approached a certain Captain of the Homeguard and asked for new duties; patrols around TeeGee. After all, if your waifu isn’t comin’ to you, you gotta go to your waifu…even if you don’t know who or what she is….or where you might find her… You know this might not have been the most thought through waifu seeking plan, but it was better than guarding a gate or battlement all day. Thankfully, the Captain agreed and as I left the room I swear I could hear him muttering something about ”… less muckin’ about.”

A few months in and no luck on the waifu front, after all you can’t just expect your waifu to fall into your lap(even if that is how a bunch of guys found theirs…). It was around this time however that I met a fellow name Sir Kasai. Starting of a guard like myself, he joined the Harem Knights quickly enough to easily be considered a founder then left early on with a caravan and came home with a magical fox girl, though I hear these days he’s got himself a scalie waifu as well, I really should drop in soon and introduce myself.

In the TG old the Old Realm, he would have probably been labeled a massive “weeaboo”, though was a pasty white boy from Canada armed and garbed like a middle-eastern china man, I wasn’t about to judge. While patrolling with him around some of our fields near the edge of the forest, I first heard his tale. It was like something out of an Out Realm fairy tale, he slaver’s ship, the vigilante justice, finding his first waifu, just everything. For hours we patrolled and for hours I was enraptured. Lucky bastard got to play the big damn hero for the (monster)girl of his dreams all in one fell swoop, like some sort of walking talking inspirational tale tailored by the universe just for me.
As if on cue, that’s when we heard the screams.

Ha! everyone's posting their little stories! So am I. This one is gonna be the interim part that didn't really fit the story initially. I'll start posting as soon as Shacklesbane is done.

>>20801945
I was going to go with more of a tributary thing. I think that those words could go well with the Kanin vows though.

>>20801972
So off we dash towards the panicked cries for help. It’s a good thing I had been on patrols the last few months, as I doubt the me from even a few months prior could have kept up the blistering pace Kasai set for us. We made it with little time to spare, arriving in time to witness three male elves trying to drag off an elf(déjà vu huh?) and the injured Felim women she was with to the tree line, now just meters away. Our shouts startled them long enough that they couldn’t flee before we were upon them.
Shouting “left” as Kasai responded with quick “right”, off we went towards our respective targets.

Kasai was on his target before the elf could grab the shield slung on his back, leaving just the sword in his hand against Kasai’s katana. Panicked, the elf swung wildly in a horizontal arc trying to keep Kasai at bay, only succeeding in giving him the only opening he would ever need. Ducking under the swing, Kasai launched forward, under, and finally past the man. Using the force from twisting his torso, he had dragged his katana through the elf’s waistline.

It was over in seconds, and the dead elf flopped to the ground in a way only possible when the flesh connecting the two halves of his person measures only in inches.

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I wasn’t nearly as quick as Kasai reaching my target, giving my opponent time to snatch up an off-hand dagger to complement his sword. My sword gripped in both hands, we danced. His opening sword thrust aimed for my neck. I parried in one direction while moving the other in an attempt to throw him off balance but nearly earning a knife through an eye for my troubles. The duelist would likely aerate several of my organs if I tried to grab for the short spear strapped to my back, so I had little choice but to stick with my sword and pray he made a mistake. In answer to my hopes, he stepped in and slashed with the dagger first. Cutting through empty air, it was likely an attempt to distract from the sword lunging for my midsection. Throwing my arms in the air and bending in a curve, I avoided the thrust with millimeters to spare, earning a grin from my assailant. Arm still outstretched, he twisted his grip and spun, slicing easily through my robes and dragging the blade across my gut.

The dull “clang” and scraping that echoed forth instead of the messy sounds of intestines spilling out was my cue to smile.

The concealed plate protecting me, my opponent was now off balance, flat footed and facing the wrong direction. Meanwhile my sword, still held overhead fell on his exposed neck.

It sunk into flesh and stayed there, pulling the blade from my grasp as he collapsed.

Reaching for my spear and glancing up, a now outnumbered elf was surely toast assuming he hadn’t run off by no-

Fuck.
Now about 20 yards away, dickass elf #3 had a bow, nocked and drawn, leveled
Straight.
At.
Me.

Wearing little armour and no shield, few options presented themselves. Kasai was closing on him, but he was going to get this shot off. Like a goalkeeper trying to block a penalty kick, I could only choose a direction to dive and hope for the best.

I chose right.

So did he.

A pain speared through my left arm and I hit the ground screaming obscenities.

When I looked up from the dirt, I saw the bastards last moments as he tried to parry a katana with a bow, losing half his bow and all of his head with the backstroke.

The excitement dying down and my pain ramping up, help finally arrived in time to learn some of my more colourful vocabulary and cart us back in for those of us who needed healing. The arrow had gone through my forearm pinning it to my upper arm. Damage? Nothing lasting with a decent healer who also fixed up the felim girl (she took an arrow to the back of the thigh while running for it). That day… that day I changed, I couldn’t stick around TeeGee on patrol any longer. Maybe it was the fight, or Sir Kasai’s stories, I’m not quite sure, but the wanderlust grabbing hold of me needed to be sated.

The next day I requested a transfer to the merchant guard.

Fortunate for me, it seemed most of the requirements for joining were easily transferable from the Homeguard and I got to skip straight to the caravan trial, in which a recruit needs to join a caravan and, you know, guard them. Now finding a caravan isn’t exactly difficult with the amount of trade starting to come through our small kingdom, and the next day I joined with a smaller caravan of maybe 12 strong, equal parts guards and merchants heading out west into Mirthterrah.

Only a day and a half away, maybe 25 kilometers into Mirthterran lands we made our first stop. A small town of a few hundred, the caravan was planning to spend a day or two in this market before moving on to the next. The day went without incident and was quite interesting compared to most of the guard duties back home, so many different things to hear, see, and smell! It was like watching the shopping network while on guard dut- What’s a shopping network? Sorry, Old Realm thing, sometimes I forget not to use earth analogies, my mistake.

Now where was I? Ah yes guarding the merchants.

Late in the evening most of the trade had been concluded for the day. The merchants and guard in my caravan retired to the wagons for the night, but not I, as this was the first time I had ventured past TeeGee’s borders I intended to look around a bit first.
I would find my life’s calling just on the outskirts of town.

My stroll through town nearing an end, I was about to turn back when I heard voices, loud voices in the distance. Was there still some trading going on somewhere in town? I hurried off in the direction of the sounds, cresting a small hill I saw a small group of huge wagons arranged in a crescent around a makeshift stage with a group of men below. Maybe it was another trade caravan? I jogged down the gentle slope to see their wares.
It was a caravan of slavers.

The enormous wagons laden with cages containing several different races, predominantly elves with some felim and kanin mixed in, a few of the inhabitants of the larger prisons caught my eye. Two centaurs, a man and a woman, were crammed into two crates so low they couldn’t stand, and the crate next to those held the most unusual captive of the bunch. An arachne woman, with all her limbs, arachnid and otherwise, bound by heavy ropes. The men running the caravan, maybe 7 or 8 of them in total, had just started to haul the first up to the auction block.

As the sun set, the bidding started.

The bids started remarkably low as far as I could tell, but I’m not exactly an expert on the market value of slaves. The men in the crowd bidding weren’t exactly the crowd I was expecting either, the image of rich, pompous douchebags buying slaves for frivolous reasons from Old Realm history and fiction completely dispelled by the small crowd of completely average looking people before me. The wheels in my turn turning at a ferocious speed, I wracked my brain for a way to put an end to the sickening scene in front of me. Brute force was easily the most suicidal option, with 7+ men against 1 I didn’t stand a chance, no matter how poorly armed they were. Could I go back and ask the caravan for help? Many slaves, if not all could be sold by the time I got back with help, never to seen again. No, whatever I was going to do, it had to be now or never.

With lack of a better idea, I started bidding.

I had been saving my wages for a few months and brought a sizable amount in the case I spotted something I wanted on our trip, and upped the bids high enough that most of the men in the crowd couldn’t keep up. I had won 2 elves and a kanin girl and kept everyone else from claiming any, but was running out of money quickly. My planning was falling apart as quickly as the coins leaving my purse, when my luck changed.

“Go back to yer sands, Serridian scum!” one of the frustrated bidders shouted.

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The cogs in my head ground to a screeching halt. Serridian? Like the weedy merchant Ahelub I spoke with once who was always muttering praises for his Caliph when he thought no one was looking? What kind of idiot would think I was Serridian? The realization hit me like train.

The robes I was wearing.
The curved sword at my side.
The setting sun bathing my skin in an orange glow.

They mistook me for a Serridian because I looked like a bloody Serridian.

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The gears once again roared to life when the next man shouted.

“Yeah, why don’t you run back to your cocksucking Caliph you fuckers love so much!” Which drew a few laughs from the rest.

Realizing that I was probably dead if this failed at about the time the sword was in my hands, I channeled my inner Ahelub and roared back with an atrocious fake accent.
“Who DARES insult the glorious Caliph, blessed be he! I will gut him where he stands!”

Heart pounding in my ears, I counted the seconds until my charade fell apart.

The crowd scattered.

They ran in every direction, and it was all I could do to keep the grin off my face when the slavers auctioneer began screaming at me, after all I had just completely demolished all their plans for ill-gotten riches. Thinking fast and stupid (why stop when it’s workin’?), I tossed them the rest of my purse still containing a fair sum with a promise. I would return in the morning with the coin to purchase all of the slaves, and drinks were on me tonight. That brightened their mood up pretty damn quick.

It was all I could do to not run back to the merchant caravan to both brag and beg forgiveness for what I had just done.

When I did make it back, most were wondering what I had gotten up to on my stroll, when I informed them of what had happened and pleaded for them to head back to TeeGee, they packed the caravan and left town so quickly they barely had the time to call me “That Guy”.
So I turned around and started walking towards the slavers camp, for now I had what I had been so lacking of earlier. I had a plan.

Well past nightfall, I took a long path around the back of the slavers wagon train and crept as close as I dared. There were 4 men drinking around the campfire in the center of their semicircle of wagons, the rest hopefully off drinking or whoring somewhere else using all of my money. Four men and the plan just might work, eight or more and I was as dead as my career in the merchant guard. Creeping off to the side, I waited for the inevitable. When one of the men stood up to relieve himself, I quietly followed. His drunkenness masking any mistakes I made, and when he finally stopped some distance from the camp and fumbled with his pants, I aimed my spear tip at the base of his skull and thrust.

One down, three to go.

Creeping back to the edge of the wagon ring, I slipped around to the Arachne’s prison. She was the linchpin of my plan, and everything would fall apart without her. Quietly getting her attention, I whispered that I was freeing her but would need her help to free the others. I will never forget the feeling of getting stared at by those eyes, so bloody unnerving it still makes my bowels feel mushy just remembering it. Using my spear and slipping it through the bars, I got most of the ropes off her limbs when she finally nodded to me. I guess they figured a completely immobilized spidergirl didn’t require a lock, and I unlatched the simple rope knot securing the crate closed. The Arachne slipped out of her confinement as quietly as possible and began the task I asked of her.

A few minutes later, it was time.

I swaggered out from behind the last wagon, whistling as I ran my spear along the rungs of the cages. All three heads swiveled at once in my direction, and at once all three men were sobered up, on their feet with weapons clutched in their hands. What was I doing they demanded, and I told them I was here for my slaves. One of them finally noticed their friend hadn’t returned, and when pressed on the issue, all I did was hold my blood-stained spear up to the firelight and grin.

They charged.
And I ran.

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I dashed back towards the edge of the wagon ring, rounding the corner and disappearing from view for a few crucial seconds. It would all come down to this moment. It would all either fall into place (literally) or I would be screwed.

Remember what I said about starting to believe in fate earlier? Shit like this is why.
They all rounded the corner at once…right into the spider silk trip line landing them face first directly into a literal blanket of spider web.

It was then just a simple matter of dispatching them one by one.

I was finishing the second man off when the Arachne sunk her fangs into the third and wrapped his still squirming form up, blowing me a kiss and winking at me before she took off into the night with her “snack”.

I didn’t have arachnophobia before that night, sure as hell do now.

Lucky for the rest of the slaves, a set of keys were on one of the other guys corpses, and I got to work shushing the captives as I freed them. After all, there were still a bunch of slavers still alive who could arrive at any moment. Working quickly, all the slaves were freed and told they were free go wherever they wished. They could go back to their homes if they had one, or they could follow me to a place where humans would not only accept you, but protect you from those who would kill or enslave you.

Unsurprisingly, most followed me on the long, long walk back to our border.

The welcome I received was pretty much what I expected.
Within minutes of our return I was snatched up right off the street by the merchant guard in town and my ass got hauled into the Captains office. It went a little something like this.
“You know why you’re here, right recruit?” He began.
“Yes Sir.”
“I’m not quite sure you are recruit, why don’t you explain to me why exactly you’re here.”
“…For endangering the merchants Sir?”
“You’re here, recruit, because you abandoned your charges, technically participated in slavery, endangered the entire caravan and costing the merchants and our fucking nation possibly hundreds of gold in goods when you forced them to turn back home 3 days into a fucking 2 month trade expedition.”
“…yes sir” I practically whispered.
“Needless to say, you’re fired. I never want to see you in this building or on one of my caravans again. Get out. Now.”
“yes sir”
I was nearly out the door when he sighed and called to me.
“Hey Tanash?”
“…Yes Captain?”
“…Good work.”
“…Thank you Captain”
Walking a little taller than before, I headed straight back to the guard office to see if my career was completely screwed.

To the amazement of everyone, I got my job back, but with…different duties. When I was told I would be working all the “shitty details”, I didn’t think the statement was meant to be literal. For a solid year…well, let’s just say I don’t think the latrines were ever cleaner.

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So four months of “shit detail” and I was beginning to wonder if i’d have to spend a months wages to magic the smell off me. I had just finished another thrilling shift and had barely sat down in my home when I heard a faint tapping at the door. I swung it open, revealing the most exhausted looking mail harpy I had ever seen placing down her parcel. On the floor sat a small wooden pony keg.
“De- delivery. Sir” She barely managed to stammer between breaths.
“From who? I don’t even drink” I asked, I had just spent 10 hours cleaning some pretty foul stuff. You think humans are bad? Some of the monsters could put even the worst of us to shame.

“Don’t know, I just deliver stuf- what’s that smell?” She asked, sniffing the air with a disgusted expression appearing on her face.
“You know what? I don’t really care, i’ll just take it”
“Whatever” came the reply, and off she went on her route.

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What if two girls were transported to mirthterrah?
a soldier and a librarian?

I watched her go, then turned my attention back to to the small keg and reached down to grab it and head inside.
I nearly fell over when I could barely move the damn thing without using both hands.
“What the fu?!”
Making it back inside, I hauled the keg onto the table with some effort.
Looking it over, the first thing I noticed was a the small slot on one of its ends, recently plugged.
Ever more intrigued, I continued my investigation.
One more feature marked the vessel, a small image on the side depicting a broken set of shackles.
Only one last thing to do, and so I popped it open.
My heart skipped a beat when I saw its contents.
How the small harpy girl managed to even fly carrying it leaves me confused to this day, as it was filled to the brim with coins. Coins made of many metals in a multitude of shapes and sizes. Coins representing nearly all the currencies I knew of in this realm and a few that I didn’t.
Easily half a years wages were sitting in this keg on my table.

Maybe full time slave liberator isn’t such an unrealistic goal after all.
First things first though, I had to go find a wizard...

And that's it, hopefully better than the part 1 embarrassment.

Well everyone, here is another tale of Reginald the Mountain. This one is the tale of how he gained his second weapon, the great axe known as Crag.

Ah, /tg/, the greatest of all the board of 4chan. Reginald typed away while reading the various threads, all the best were there, meat bread, brown elf, and more. Looking down at his fingers he realized something was wrong. He hadn’t always been a bear, had he? Starring at his now bear bare hands Reginald felt the dream begin to dissolve. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Cracking a sleep encrusted eye open Reginald looked up from his small bed. Floating barely two feet above him Satha, the ghost he had rescued from Shaleglen a month before, slept. A long line of spectral drool ran from her mouth to Reginald, which seemed to be the cause of what woke him up. Every time a drop would fall through him a shiver would run down her spine.

“Satha...” the ghost turned over in mid air, “Satha!” He shouted at her. The ghost girl woke with a start, arms wheeling in mid air before she righted herself.
“Haven’t I told you to stop sleeping above my bed. I even made you one.” Reginald pointed with a large finger over to the windowsill, where a bed had been made up for the ghost girl. He didn’t even know why she needed to sleep, already being dead and all, but after several mornings of finding her either floating above him or with her body curled beside him he through there was no better idea. Satha rubbed her eyes sleepily and yawned.

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>>20801998
>Alright, my turn

Well, she did it. She finally did it. Kikki gave me the ultimatum. I knew I was going to have to face it sooner or later, whether it was her or me. I got out one of my bottles of Rye and walked up to the the castle.

It’s been a long while since I’ve been up these stairs. I used to come up with a boarskin I had earned during the hard months and just sat at the roof the citadel tower and watch the stars. Not many others had ventured up there due to the winds, but there was a nice sheltered spot where I could see the whole night sky.

I dismissed the homeguard sitting up in the tower, falling asleep, told him that I’d finish his shift for him. It really hasn’t changed much. Not much different than the change of season. No need for the boarskin tonight, I had whiskey. Manly picnic, no blankets, no napkins, just Rye Whiskey. Final Destination. I poured myself a glass (drinking from the bottle would be a sin against nature), and just stared up at the stars. Nine Divines, what the hell was I gonna do.

>>20802192
It was something comforting to know someone cared about me that much, that she wanted me. Let my head swell a bit. But when I got down to it, the idea of Kikki being mine and I hers, well, it terrified me. It wasn’t because I can’t commit. I would go to the darkest depths of hell and back for her, and I didn’t see that change anytime soon. Still don’t. But what about work? What about all the dangers we face? What about the Dragoons? Hell, what about Kids? I’ve always wanted to be a dad, but I never thought I’d be in the situation I am now. More than just taking care of them, I couldn’t very well take Half-Felim children anywhere near Mirthan nobility.

Well, I threw around the idea for a while. Before I knew it, I had downed half my bottle, which is impressive because I was still feeling fine somehow. No matter how hard I thought of it, no matter how dire my (bullshit) hypotheticals got, all I could think of was Kikki and her smiling face. The image burned in my gut, and no it wasn’t the Rye.

The very idea of not seeing her made everything worse, but even if it doesn’t work out, even if my worst nightmare situations come true, If I don’t make my move I’m going to regret it for the rest of my life. I don’t want to carry that weight.

I Checked my Gnomish pocket watch. “They should still be in the pub.” I knew what I had to do.

>>20802183

I thoroughly enjoyed it, I especially liked my cameo appearance.

>>20802190
“But then I wouldn’t be close to you,” stated the ghost girl matter of factly. Reginald felt heat creep into his cheeks and knew that they were growing red. Looking away he swung his feet off the bed and went over to his armor, scratching his bellow. Outside his window he could hear shouts, they seemed to be a bit louder than usual. Not that it mattered though, the sounds of the city undulated regularly. Maybe it was just about festival that he wasn’t invited to.

Reginald began to dress, in the morning he would normally go to the training room to fight against one of the target dummies for a while, However the upper echelon had begun to limit his time there, because apparently they no longer wanted to replace the dummies every few days.

From across the room the door burst open. In it stood the captain of his unit, he was panting.

“Reggy! We need you on the battle field. Orcs have been seen on the horizon, they’re preparing for an assault!” Dammit, he had never been one for orks, even when his only interactions with them had been through a character sheet.

Reginald nodded, not wanting to talk to then captain any more than he had to, and stood up. His armor slotted into place, metal sheets grinding against each other on his massive frame. Next to his bed the boulder sat ready for battle. Satha had taken to polishing it, and Reginald could actually see his reflection in the dull steel surface.
“I’ll be outside in five minutes.”

“You’ll be on the vanguard.” He blinked.

...

Yeah, this was shaping up to be a really great morning.

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>>20802197
I raced down the stairs, passing the bottle of Rye to the next shift as he came the other way. On my horse and I was at The Rogue Trader just before last call. “Fatwelder! Is Engineer Fatwelder here?!”

“Right here Lem.” He was sitting right next to where I walked in. “Want me to buy you a beer?”

“No time for that, I need you skill at the forge right away. I - ”

“Oh, that. Give me a sec.” For a moment, the smith fiddled around in his pockets and produced a small ornately carved box jewelry box with the sigils of the Nine Divines. “That should be the right size. If not, come on down tomorrow and I’ll make sure it fits.”

“Wait is this...” I opened the box. Yup this was it.

“Uh-huh.”

“But how did you - ?” Box closed.

“Lem, you two are OTP, and everyone apparently knew it but you two. I forged that ring three and a half years ago. Took you long enough.”

“Well, how much do I owe you?”

“Nothing, you’ve already paid me in ways you can only begin to imagine.”

“Huh... well... I have to say, this was alot easier than I thought it would be. Now I don’t know what to do.”

“Mead?”

“Yes, please.”

I kind of went on with the mead for a lot longer than I had planned to that night. Fatwelder had somehow managed to convince the innkeeper to keep the bar open well past hours, so it was pretty late in the morning by the time I got back. Not that it really seemed to matter. I got quite an... enthusiastic welcome by Kikki before I had even managed to say the words.

- Excerpt from “Treatise of a Husbando” by Sir Fearghaile

File: 1348184690031.png-(16 KB, 500x500, lamia librarian.png)

>>20802157
is this from something
also, librarian you say?

>>20802201
FIne minutes later Reginald was running through the city street, he tending to be able to clear a crowd, but this day it was more so than usual. The normal menagerie of female elves and nekos, as he had come to know them, were seemingly absent. As he passed the lower market the stall were empty, despite the forge still smoking.

This most certainly was not good, if they were bringing all the civilians into the castle then the attack was more than even he had though. Behind his Satha floated along, hovering over his right shoulder.

“I told you not to follow me!” shouted Reginald, his beard being blown by the wind. They were approaching the outer wall. On the other side of which he could already see the smoke column that signaled fire. He hoped that the people living in the farms beyond the wall were ok, he bought his tubers from an elderly couple that lived out there. Right behind the gate the knights harem forced were already amassing. Reginald skirted the outside of the group to make his way to the front. If he was going to be a vanguard he would at least be a proper one.

The gates were still open, as none of the orcs had yet to get close enough to prove a serious threat. in the distant the orcish host kicked up dust on the horizon. Large burly humanoids in metal armor pounded forward to the gates, and occasionally among them a smaller individual. Goblins? No matter, he should deal with the big ones first anyway.

File: 1348185181421.png-(277 KB, 680x711, EWBTE.png)

>>20802208
So thoughts? I'm kind of enjoying writing this "And Everything Went Better Than Expected" kind of anti-humor. I'm wondering if it's coming across.

>>20802288

I like it, but I like anything that I consider to be even remotely cute and romantic.

>>20802288
I like it, we need some of everything and I don't think we have enough of your style.

>>20802273

Minutes passed as the vanguard stood in front of the gates waiting for the orcs. The entire time that Reginald stood there Satha continued to comment on the scene, having ignored his pleas for her to leave.

“Do you think there will be a lot of blood, I hope so!” stated the ghost girl as she did summersaults just above his head.

“Yeah, i just hope it won’t be mine.” Behind him he heard the gates close, leaving the vanguard out by themselves to defend the gate at all costs. It just occurred to him now what a stupid tactic it was. Why couldn’t he have just stayed inside, the orcs didn’t really seem to have a lot of siege weapons.... it was a little late now for any of these regrets. better to just hope for the best and try not to get mangled. Around him the other misfits of the Harem Knights stood ready for battle, maybe they were trying to get rid of all the trouble children at the same time.

Hefting his hammer Reginald starred into the mass of orcs coming towards him. They were barely two hundred feet away now. On his right he heard one of his fellows offer up a battle cry.

“For the waifus! For Harem!” he shouted as he lead the charge. Reginald fell into step behind him, but soon overtook his smaller companion. The giant of castle waifu, the Mountain, struck the orcs head on.

Swinging the boulder he caught one of the armored orcs in the chest. A grind of metal resounded through the air as his chest plate buckled. Reginald continued with his swing, moving his shoulders until the unfortunate orc was picked up into the air by the blow of his hammer and sent flying into his fellows.

I was only here for thread two onwards. I just went back and took a butchers at our roots.

You guys make me proud to be a neckbeard. Don't ever change, /tg/. What we've all helped make is going down in history.

E-excuse me, I have something in my eye.

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>>20802288
Anything that involves a manly picnic is good.

>>20802209
Im planning to do a quest. borrowing the setting of mirthterrah.
Basically you're a girl find your husbando.

it's me the anon who made the crappy gorgon art.

>>20802355
As he fought threw the crowd he heard Satha giggle, occasionally commenting on the spray of blood. Maybe that’s what he deserved for choosing a ghost girl. An orc swung a crude sword in Reginalds direction. bringing up his gauntleted hand he caught it before it could impact his midriff. Squeezing the blade Reginald snapped the short steel prod. With his other hand he swung the boulder one handedly to bring don the head onto the orc’s. With a crunch the muscled green indavidual fell over, twitching slightly.

Every so often an orc more burly than the rest would present itself, some of them even coming up to Reginald’s shoulders, however none came within a head of his height. Across the growing gap between him and the orc warriors a particularly nasty fighter roared at Reginald.

“I shall take the giant’s head! I will be the slayer of your kind!” Well, that wasn’t very nice. Despite the fact he wasn’t a giant he took an offense to that. Swinging his axe overhead the warrior brought it down onto Reginald’s forearm. And to his surprise a noticeable dent appeared in the armor. Sparks flew as the axe head skidded off. That was unusual, thought Reginald while swinging his hammer the other way to sweep the orcs feet out from under him. At the last moment the orc jumped, dodging the attack and taking a counter offensive at trying to chop off Reginald’s neck at the shoulder.

Ducking he dodged it, this was really out of place. Two years of fighting his way through dungeons, smashing demi-lich’s, and generally getting into trouble he hadn’t found a warrior who could meet his strength. Sure that lich had been smarter than him, but he had never found someone who could outsmart a hammer.

>>20802431
Fascinating. Send me an email if you have any specific questions. I'll do my best to answer them. I may or may not join in on that quest, since I'm kind of bad with quest threads, but good luck!

Also, if you get the chance or inspiration, you should really illustrate your favorite scenes from the lore so far. Would be great to see some of these scenes in motion, or even general scenes within the setting.

>>20802209
I may have just found Mai Waifu.

>>20802465
Get’em Reggy!” shouted Satha behind him. The orc warlord looked towards the ghost for a moment, giving Reginald enough time to hit him in the stomach with the butt of the boulder’s hilt. The orc doubled over, spluttering, but managed to brandish his axe enough to that Reginald could not close in for the final blow.
When he straightened up something had changed about the orc, his eyes glowed with a spectral green fire. Oh that is not good... green fire meant waaaaagh... and waaaaagh meant something was going to explode. This time when he made a leap towards Reginald the orc’s eyes trailed green fire. he swung the axe at near supernatural speeds, and Reignald was hard pressed to block them all. A few got through, chipping his armor. Looking down he saw the axe too had changed. It had before appeared to be simply a crude bone axe tied to wood, but now the bone glowed with a spectral light, and sigils danced on the stock.
Gritting his teeth Reginald swung the boulder forward, knowing that if only staying on the defensive he would surely die before this was over. Around him he saw the other orcs retreating, seemingly the smaller ones he had assumed were goblins had turned on the rest, thought he did not allocate much thought to this, as the duel was occupying most of his energy.

>It comes
GearHeart's Perspective,
“Wakey, wakey sleepyhead.”
“Meina, I think its like three in the morrning.”
“I don't want to be lateeee.”
“We are not going to be late, we have a magic gate to Castle Waifu. We almost can't be late. Anyway be quiet, you know what happens when Lilly wakes up.”
“Ooops, Maybe she'll stay a sleep.”
“NOPE, Morning Cowtoe.” Lilly said as she gave Meina a fierce camaltoe as was the morning ritual if Meina doesn't get away before Lilly wakes up. I must say though it was hilarious to watch when Lilly woke her up like that. Really all the shenanigans they got up to were fun to watch, some times even fun to be apart of.
“Lilllyy, I am going to get you for this.”
“You say that every day, you can't keep a girl waiting.”
“Ok girls cool your jets, we get started now and we might be late. Let me have one more hour of sleep then I'll whip up some pancakes.”
“You sure know your way to a girls heart. Sweet, Sticky, Confections.”
“Wait to you’ve had funnel cake.”
“Well me and Meina are going to go pick out our festival clothes, sleep well.”

>>20802572
whoops forgot to put spaces.


Get’em Reggy!” shouted Satha behind him. The orc warlord looked towards the ghost for a moment, giving Reginald enough time to hit him in the stomach with the butt of the boulder’s hilt. The orc doubled over, spluttering, but managed to brandish his axe enough to that Reginald could not close in for the final blow.

When he straightened up something had changed about the orc, his eyes glowed with a spectral green fire. Oh that is not good... green fire meant waaaaagh... and waaaaagh meant something was going to explode. This time when he made a leap towards Reginald the orc’s eyes trailed green fire. he swung the axe at near supernatural speeds, and Reignald was hard pressed to block them all. A few got through, chipping his armor. Looking down he saw the axe too had changed. It had before appeared to be simply a crude bone axe tied to wood, but now the bone glowed with a spectral light, and sigils danced on the stock.

Gritting his teeth Reginald swung the boulder forward, knowing that if only staying on the defensive he would surely die before this was over. Around him he saw the other orcs retreating, seemingly the smaller ones he had assumed were goblins had turned on the rest, thought he did not allocate much thought to this, as the duel was occupying most of his energy.

>>20802577
Meina's Perspective,
“Come on Meina lets go pick out some clothes, I'm thinking some kind of coordinated outfit.”
We made our way out of the bedroom and across the hall into the great closet as we called it. Inside was full of clothes for me and Lilly. It used to be a ballroom, but Lilly has a bit of a clothes problem.
“How about a simple red and blue color scheme, you go red and I'll go blue.”
“Is it that a bit backwards? Shouldn’t you be red”
“That's the point, its symbolic.”
So we picked out some clothes that worked together and tried them on in different combinations.
“You know what Lilly?”
“What?”
“I think I'll wear that bell you got me, after all it is a very special occasion.”
“Going to finally wear it in public eh. Only took you two years to work up the courage.”
“Bit me, I am doing it for you.”
“Thanks for the offer but I don't want to ruin my apatite. And you know you don;t have to do anything for me.”
“I know that, I want to.” I said and then gave Lilly the biggest hug I could manage.
I gently pulled the silver bell out of its box. And stared at it for a moment, it felt like forever since Lilly had given it to me to replace my odd bell.
“How do you put this thing on again, I can't remember, Its been a while.”
“Here let me see it, I'll help you.”
“No funny stuff.”
“Not this time I promise.”
After Lilly helped me with the bell, we just sort of stood there and looked eache other in the eye with goofy grins on our faces for who knows how long.
“GIRLS! BREAKFAST!” Rang through the halls.

>>20802586
After a delicious breakfast of sinful sweets. We made our way to the gate, the sun was just coming up and it was the perfect day for a festival.
“Ok Lilly the rules one more time, I shall not...”
“Commit sexual acts with/on strangers, brazen acts with non-strangers, use my powers to cheat at games, run a con-game, get people drunk and use them to fill my needs what ever they be, and no trying one of everything.”
“Trust me you'll thank me latter on the last one. Also I do believe I hear the sounds of a bell.”
“Eeep, Uh you must be hearing something.”
“Yep, must be in my head.”
This was going to be hard, what I'm I doing. I can't do this. Then Lilly gave me a smile that could melt the pants off of just about anyone. I could do this. We steeped through the gate.

We were early, so somethings were still being set up, but the foods were already cooking and they smelled divine. My mouth watered like mad, I wanted to try them all.
“Thank god we figured out that teeth cleaning spell, after this everyone's teeth would be rotten to the core.”
“Except me.”
“Yes Lilly except for you, magical succubi powers giving you basically perfect health.”
“So James, what contest will you be entering?”
“If anything, some form of game of intellect or motor skill, if not a game of both.”
“Your not entering the sword fighting competition?”
“I am no good at that sort of thing, fighting and killing sure. But sport is a different thing, the hard part is holding back, fighting fair, not going all overkilltastic.”
“Hey whats that?” I said pointing to a large drum of a web like thingy.
“Cotton Candy and no its not made of cotton. It is made out of pure sugar.”
After asking Jim about many more kinds of food and trying most of them I'll admit we ate to much.

>>20802596
“Ugh I feel like I am going to explode.”
“This is why I told you two to pace yourselves and not try everything. Also Lilly no alcohol, no matter how good it sounds it will just make coming down off the sugar-high worse.”
“I believe you. I loved the funnel cake, but I don't think it loved me back.”
“We took a seat and watched people for awhile, Lilly and Jimmy played that game they like where they take turns reading people. I am not so good at that one. Hey I just realized Lilly and Jimmy they sound similar, I think I am going to start calling him that. Once we were feeling better we resumed our exploration of the festival. We came across a table where a bunch of people where playing with cards and spoons.
“Ah spoons the game of a true thinking man. Count me in.” Jimmy said.
Lilly and I watched the game it was odd. Like he kept slamming his knee into the underside of the table sending the spoons bouncing up and down, then everyone would grab them and the first person to grab one was out. Another odd thing I noticed that was sometimes you wanted to be the first to grab it seems but other times you wanted to not be the first. And like Jimmy always grabbed a spoon second. And a bunch of other odd things, Outrealmer games are weird.
“Bah its not fun playing with ya GearHeart, take your winnings and go.”
“Well that was probably the last game of spoons I will ever get to play. Now that they know my reputation. Nobody ever wanted to play back home.”

>>20802606
We walked past some more booths and tables and I saw one where they had bottles stacked up and people were throwing balls to try and knock them over, but they were having a hard time.
“The games rigged Meina, bottom left bottle is connected some how.”
“How did you what I was thinking?”
“People reading skills. Now if you want to win, what I recommend doing is to aim for that bottle and gave it all your strength.”
“Step right up, step right up and test your arm. Do you think you got what it takes.”
“I think so.”
“Well then little missy here are the balls you get three tries, less tries equals a better prize.”
“Hey Lilly watch Meina nearly kill everyone.”
I took the ball in my hand and threw it with all my strength at the bottle that Jimmy had pointed out. The bottles flew everywhere and clonked the man in the head. After he recovered I got my prize, it was a large stuffed bear.
“Shes strong but not strong enough to sheer a metal rod in half.” Lilly said pointing to a bit if metal sticking up from where the one bottle had been.”
“I evened the odds a bit, its what I do. I didn't help her, just rusted the rod a bit.”
“James your as bad as ever.” Lilly said giving Jimmy a playful slap.
“I'm bad to the bone, you could say. Now lets go find some sort of challenge for you dear.”
“Archery, though that is not for a while.”

>>20802610
GearHeart's Perspective,
Lilly's show was quiet something and I hadn't seen so many frustrated men and women ever in my life. We watched various tournaments. The girls kept giving me a hard time about not competing, but I told them I would rather spend the day with them. Lilly said that that was bullshit as I spent most of near everyday with them. I just said, no matter what day it is does not change what I would rather be doing. This caused Lilly to fake puking. I ignored her. The highlight of the day was the beach volleyball game. Meina and Lilly participated in it and Lilly loved the swimsuits. And if you ask anyone why they can't remember who won, that would be Lilly's fault. String ties and a playful succubus are either a horrible mix or a great mix depending on how you look at it. Hours later after many games of volleyball and many exposed girls the sun was starting to set. For dinner I introduced the girls to the magic of hamburgers.
“This tastes nothing like ham. What is this?”
“Uh well Meina its made of ground up meat. Hey look at that juggling squid girl.” I said deflecting. Then I saw some Felim merchants selling musical instruments. They had a beautiful jet black guitar with white and blue little dots spread over it. I knew when I say it that it was made for me. I bought the guitar then and there. It felt good in my hands. Been awhile since I had last played. Its name rung through my head, Trigger.

>>20802624
I sat there with the setting sun, playing every song I could think of with Lilly singing along. Its handy to let her pull the lyrics out of my head. Under the stars that night with people gathering around I played till I couldn't feel my fingers. But it was worth it to see all those smiling faces. After the first round of “I walk the Line” a couple people started to join in. By the time the sun was starting to come up I had done every Johnny Cash song there was, more proof that everyone likes Cash, even the french gay men like him.

Lilly's perspective,
James was dead on his feet by the time he was done, I dragged him back home and I let him rest. We did not get back to the festival the next day till noon. The day was full of James robbing everyone blind at a bunch of games. And he told me not to run con games or use my abilities to cheat at them. Then again as he says, he wasn't cheating just playing by the loose rules. And truth be told he was far from the only one.
“Where did you learn all those tricks?”
“I like games, played a lot of them as a kid and I ran into a lot of “creative people” and I learned to get creative. I play by the rules till they don't. Though I do play hard all the time.”
“You need to tell me how you kept winning at that Liars Dice game.”
“Its not about lying, its about getting in the other players heads. Never show doubt and screw with their heads. Also if they start cheating what you do is lift the cup to check your dice then when you lower the cup you tip the dice using the edge of the cup.”
“What about that blackjack game, seems like that would be all luck.”
“That ones easy just keep track of the cards and don't do anything stupid. So you ready for the archery tournament.”
“Ready as I'll ever be.”

>>20802629
Time passed and just before the tournament was about to start I made my way to the field and Meina and James took to the stands. Or so I thought, I was surprised to see James also on the archery field.
“What are you doing here?”
“Competing, can't cheat at this.”
“I didn't know you where any good at archery.”
“There are a lot of things about me that most don't know. Anyway I did six years of archery, so I would say I have experience, don't know about good.”
“How about a wager then? I win I get to dress you up however I want for a week.”
“And if I win?”
“IF you win I promise to not make your life hell for a month and I will let you take the lead unchallenged.”
“Well I can't argue with that. Its a deal.”

We went round for round. Eventually it was down to just me and James.
“You know Lilly if you want to back out know or change the bet this is the time.”
“You feeling the heat James?”
“Nah you know me ice runs in my veins, but you look at you. Your nervous I can tell. Your thinking what trick does he have up his sleeve. And look at your hands. Shaking like leaves in the wind.”
“Um I guess, yeah it is a rather big bet on something so little. How about how about just a day.”
“Smart move little girl. I had planned for a month long return of you favorite little friend, the belt.”
“Yeah I am glad we changed the bet for only a day.”

>been home for four hours
>have lab report due tomorrow
>get all my shit together
>sit down to do work
>F5
i don't know whether to love you, hate you, or have kinky angry sex with you, but never ever change /tg/

>>20802634
In the end it all came down to one shot. I was a head by two points, all he needed was to land an arrow with in the inner two rings to win. He notched the arrow and took aim. He fell short by a good five inches. I won, I was ecstatic.
“Oh James you'll look so cute tomorrow all dressed up.”
I won a really ornate bow, with a bunch of funny markings on it. After that we were wandering about the festival, I was teasing James about what all I would be having him wear the next day when we passed by a large tent that had a sign labeling it as a fun house.
“Oh lets go in guys.” Meina said.

GearHeart's Perspective,
I knew that this would only lead to trouble, but I just could not say no to Meina. And anyway Lilly was trying to find out if I lost on purpose to her. I admit nothing. So I figured that this would prove a decent distraction.
“Ok, Meina but after this I could use a brake and some food.”
So we went inside. There was the normal fun house stuff.

>>20802582
Swinging again the head of the boulder met the orc’s axe. Green fire leapt from the point that they met, arcing across both the orc’s skin and reginald’s armor. Several more times the two weapons crossed, and each time more fire flew. The grass around them had been nearly burnt away at this point.

The orc was growing tired the farther the battle went on, the green fire had begun to lessen, and his movements were slowing back to a normal level. You had to sacrifice to win... The orc swung his axe into reginald’s side, he braced for impact. The head was strong enough to pierce his iron armor, and most of the leather underneath. he hoped the cut wasn’t going to be too deep. Holding the boulder high Reginald planted his feet to deliver the final blow, but before he could the orc stopped moving.

The fire completely disappeared, and he fell forward. A sword stuck out of the small of his back. Behind him one of the goblins stood, except... it wasn’t a goblin. Removing her helm a female orc walked forward.

“You have defeated Gennok, you are the new Warmaster.”

“Excuse me?”

>>20802641
>Funny that you mention Kinky sex
Lilly thought the air jets were amusing. She also asked if we could put them in the house. I told her I would think about it. Meina and Lilly got lost in the Mirror maze. I had to go find them.
“Girls I told you don't follow your eyes, use your ears. Hear the sounds bouncing of the walls with every step you take.”
“Right.” Meina said.
“Implying I was lost.”
“Implying the only reason you could tell which one was the real me wasn't your aura sight.”

>>20802657
Lilly's perspective,
James was right the place was confusing and there was a lot of cleaver stuff here. We were going along when we came to a place where a lot of people were converged trying to figure out where to go next as we had come to a rather large dead end. The lights went out and women started to scream. My night vision being better than most I could see what was going on. A young Felim boy was running around causing trouble. Some groping here, some wedgies there, the undoing of some clothes, one Houlstauri got titty twistered so hard milk came shooting out. (Got to try that on Meina) But his favorite was to pull down womens' skirts and anything underneath. I could tell he was just about to leave as people where getting closer to finding him, when he saw Meina. He snuck up on her and pulled her skirt down. I don't think he was expecting to come face to face with a bell. He just sort of stared at it for a moment, at lest till Meina punched him in the face. The kid was out cold. After a few seconds the lights came on and a opening in a wall reveled itself. Some women were in embarrassing situations but none of them really carried. They had the unconscious perpetrator and he would pay. They found the kid a day later locked in a closet in a most uncomfortable position. He was fine though, if you looked passed the fact that he would have a hard time sitting down for a long while.

>>20802662
As we left the Fun House.
“I feel so bad for knocking him unconscious and breaking his nose. I though it was Lilly causing trouble and I really did not feel like showing off the bell in public.”
“Oh so it would have been fine if you broke my nose.”
“No he was ducking, I figured you would have used your tail like you always do. So my fist would have collided with that ring of yours.”
“You wouldn't punch a girl in her secret place would you Meina?”
“For you Lilly I would do more than that.”
“Girls hold the sexual charged talk till we get home, Please.”
“Ok, In way I do want to get home a little early, so we can pick out what your going to wear. Oh and when I said day I meant a full twenty four hours. So starting at midnight you will be playing the part of girl number three.”
“Oh dear lord.”
“By the way James I was thinking next year I want to run a fun house, succubi style.”
“Of course you do Lilly.”
“People love things that are carnivalesque.”
“Lilly please stop pulling words out of my head with out warning. Ask first at least, when you go rooting around in there you always knock something loose. I just had a flashback to the first time I saw a clown. But yes people are fascinated by a bit of darkness and danger.”

When we got back to the house that night it was late, as the party was just so much fun. But we got back well before midnight. I wasn't letting James get out of a second of his payment. It was fun having him try on different clothes. We finally got the clothes he would wear the next day picked out along with some night clothes.

>>20802670 >it only get worse from here
GearHeart's Perspective,
People sometimes ask me the secret to a healthy relationship with a succubus. I tell them its the same as any normal relationship. Built on Love, trust, romance, and genuine feelings for the other. It just so happens that a healthy sex life is a bit harder to maintain. I've learned that the most important part is the chase if you will. And the most important part about that is the old saying you got to know when to hold them and know when to fold them. And since Lilly had been trying to get me to cross dress for about as long as I had know her, I felt that I might as well let her when this one.

The dress did not bother me. Hell I had worn a kilt in public a few times back in the day and my girlfriend had been into this kind of thing. It occurs to me know that I have a thing for strong women. What really got under my skin, quiet literally was the underwear Lilly had chosen. One of her personal pair for special occasions.
“Lilly I don't know how you can stand having one of these up your ass.”
“Practive dear, loads and loads of practice.”
“Well I for one am going to have a hard time sleeping like this.”
“Who said anything about sleep?”
“I need an adult.”
“I am an adult.”

>>20802681
Meina's Perspective,
Everyone was tired the next morning, Lilly woke me up, but not in her usual way. She gently nudged me awake with one hand over my mouth.
“Isn't he so cute asleep all dressed up in frills?”
“Yeah he is, its so not him its just perfect.”
“I can hear you.”
“Ahh, to bad we were going to just sit her and watch you sleep, guess we can't do that know. What should we do instead Meina?”
“Tickle Attack?
“Tickle attack it is.”
Then we jumped on top of him and stayed there for three hours. Needless to say he was out of breath when we were done.
“Uh oh, looks like someone has had a little accident and wet her panties.” Lilly said in a taunting tone. Meina I think she needs a spanking to teach her a lesson.”
“I think so too Lilly. I got the paddle hold her still.”

>>20802690
A little while later.
“You know girls, its almost noon, if you want to show me off around town your running out of time.”
“Shes right you know, noon is when the most people are there.”
So we went to the festival after getting James dressed to the nines.
“Just to let you two know I will be getting even for this.”
“Looking forward to it dear.”
We wandered around the festival, things were slowing down as it was the last day. We made sure to show off James to all our friends, it took a while, but everyone got a big kick out of it. Lilly did her best to make the day hell for him but he remand as always does, cool as could be. It was hilourious to see James no sell (As they say) everything Lilly did.
The day was coming to a close and there was to be a dance contest. Lilly and Jim entered together.

>>20802699
Lilly's Perspective,
“Ok Lilly just read my mind and do what you see, I'll follow along.”
“Ok, here's hoping you can dance in heels.”

We danced a streak across the stage, the people in the crowd were getting in to it. We were doing something called Dirty Dancing, I got from James's head. It was tricky but we pulled it off. We were coming to the end of the dance and the moves just stopped in his head, I froze and stood there then he dipped me low and kissed me hard. I think my shoes just about flew off.

>>20802709
GearHearts Perspective,
I was sore, sweaty, and tired. The clothes felt odd and had started to chafe in places, my feet were killing me and I didn't know if my ass would ever recover. But I did not care, what ever made the girls happy. After I got done tongue wrestling Lilly we went and just watched the night sky. I winced as I sat down.
“Having trouble dear?” Lilly said with an innocent look on her face, one that was about as real as a pink three dollar bill.
“Cute Lilly real cute, just be on your guard cuz at midnight its fair game.”
“You know you danced really good for your first time wearing heels.” Meina said.
“Yeah almost like you had done so before.”
“I can neither confirm or deny anything.”
“I could just read your mind.”
“Bring it.” And she did but I was ready for her, I threw up a big wall made out of numbers (It was my memories of the most boring day of my life in hexadecimal) and she bounced off of it.
“Ahh, that's no fun. How did you do that.”
“Magic.”
We returned home late that night after watching the meteor shower, it was even better than the fireworks of the first night. At exactly the start of the next day I gave the girls a dicking they would remember for a long time.
And that's the story of the first festival and how I got banned from just about every gambling game. Introduced Johnny Cash to the word. And won a dancing contest dressed as a woman. The story of how I got even with the girls is one for a different day.

>>20802716
4278 words, wow that was a long festival. Also I think I'm going to tone down the sex i the next one.

>>20802651
Reginald had already lost quite a bit of blood, it flowed from his armor and pooled onto the grass around him. his head felt woozy, maybe he should lie down for a little bit, just for a moment. beside him Satha marveled at the red liquid, prodding it where it covered the ground.

“You defeated the Warmaster, and so you become him. I took the final blow, but you bested him. You may claim crag, among other things as your prize.” The orcish woman knelt down before him. This was really too much, darkness began to close in from around his eyes.

“Other things? Crag?”

“I was the chieftain's wife, so as such now I belong to you.” He wasn’t sure of the blush now on his face was making him bleed less or more.

“And this is Crag.” She pulled the axe from his side, this really was the final straw. Darkness claimed his mind and Reginald fell backwards onto the dirt. The orcish woman rushed over to his side as he fell, yelling something about warmaster, but he didn’t care, the warm pillow of unconsciousness was claiming him. Maybe he would dream he was a bear again.

He wasn’t sure if it was hours or days later, but when he awake again someone had managed to take off his armor and drag him to his room. He looked up at the ceiling. Probing his side he found the wound had indeed been very large, and bandages now covered most of his torso.

>>20802751
On one side of him floated Satha, and on the other the orcish woman sat, polishing the head of the axe he had apparently one. Oh yes, he thought as the memories rushed back to him, the battle.

“I’m not dead?” he inquired.

“Nope,” answered Satha in a slightly melancholy tone.

“Warmaster!” shouted the orc, rushing to his side.

“Are you already, do you require more milk of the poppy?” Reginald thought about this for a moment, but realized he wasn’t feeling any pain. he shook his head.

“How did I get here, and where are my clothes?” he asked, trying to turn over in bed to reach for the water jug. bBefore he could the orcish woman pushed him back down and forced him to lie. Retrieving the jug herself she poured him some.

“I dragged you back here after the battle Warmaster... and I removed you armor.” Reginald coughed on the water, nearly spilling it all over himself. Pulling at the bed sheets he tried to cover his chest, but realized it was pointless no blanket in castle waifu was big enough to cover him.

“I had heard rumors about the giant, but... I did not expect.” A strange yellow tinge had appeared on her cheek, and took Reginald a moment to realize that she too was blushing. The two of them starred in opposite directions for a moment, Satha glancing from one to the other.

“Wha...what’s your name?” asked Reginald trying to change the subject.

“Milla, you can call me Milla.”

>>20802731
Haha, I must say that I enjoyed it. Though I felt like the amount of sex made it overshadow my story just a tad >.> You know how /tg/ is, always bringing their fetishes.

You are a good writer.

>>20801587 here, another question, if there's enchantments, does that mean that rune magic is possible as well in this setting?

>>20802775

It not that odd considering how all this was created by someone's elf ear fetish.

>>20802882
Everyone complains about fetishes, but see what they can do when it is applied correctly. A single fetish birthed all this.

>>20802624
That does bring up the question "Are there non-monstergirl cows?"

>>20802898
I think it's that we don't really play up the fetishes so much as we do adventure mixed with light romance.

File: 1348189002234.jpg-(53 KB, 1162x875, Runes.jpg)

>>20802841
well what else are the scotsbunnies going ta have on their swords then besides magic ruins

>>20802940
*Smacks fist on the table*

I'll make there eve fetishes if I darn well please!

>>20802775
Thanks I wasn't so sure about this one. Normally I keep it light but this one was about as light as a sledge hammer

>>20803000

I didn't see a whole lot of the sexy-fun times. Just that a good bit of the story was devoted to Lilly's fetishes, which I think is perfectly fine. Almost cute in a way.

>>20802964
Oh gods yes I feel the spark of creativity, now to try to make something happen, something wonderful.

>>20803018
As a succubus Lilly has a lot of fetishes. So it can over ride other things if I am not careful.

Anyway so about Savior's Day/Day of Salvation on the 11th of Morning Star. Did we celebrate this the second year or was it latter. I like to think that it would be in 2AA

For all talk of libraries and librarians, has this world even invented the printing press yet?
Books are a time consuming effort, and if we're in medieval-ish times, a status symbol.

>>20803085
GearHeart stole a magic one from hell.

>>20803103
Ah, so they're not particularly widespread, these presses. Teegee doesn't have much cause for a newspaper at the moment either.

Unless you were in fact speaking of a "book" from hell, by which case it becomes unfenceable. Too much heat, you see.

>>20803068

I'm trying to use my fetishes without making them the focus of my story. But I'm not sure if Kuro and Belle have fetishes of their own yet.
Lesbians and fluffy tails are my fetishes.

>>20803085
>>20803103
Plus we're almost certainly got a few people who know the basics of creating a Gutenberg printing press. Heck, I know enough that I could probably do it after a few months of trial and error.

Now all we need to do is start inundating the market with cheap, easy to get books so that we can start influencing other cultures. Can anyone say "Foundation"?

>>20803129
Nope he stole a magic printing press from the treasury.

>>20803144
Lilly just about writes her self. This is probably due to my love for succubi. So I just look at my collection of succubi pictures when I hit a writing block and boom more personality for Lilly

>>20803187

Lucky. I don't have any suitable pictures for Kuro. Modeling her after some of my age old fantasies is giving me some stuff to work with though.

File: 1348190898952.png-(430 KB, 856x640, waifu dragon.png)

>>20803221
i got my model for Rydia from porn
pic related

>>20802731
Jim, I am thoroughly disappoint you didn't cameo Lem and Kikki, especially after all the help Lilly gave the day before. D:

>>20803304

Wait. That picture is supposed to be porn? I've never heard of a flight fetish before.

>>20803335
it's not porn, it's from porn
http://hentaianimedownloads.com/dragon-rider-ep01-02-eng-subs-uncen/
though granted, only the body. personality wise she's not much like the dragon in the porn

>>20803335
It's called the "Mile High Club".

Once again, catching up on the thread.

However, I'd like to ask you guys a question. Aside from yourselves, what inspirations do you have for your characters?

Olin's mostly based off of Giles from Buffy, with elements thrown in from myself, a friend of mine, and James Rolfe, if anyone's curious.

>>20803317
I wasn't sure where they fit in. Refresh my memory as to where they were at the time. I left plenty of time for stuff to be added after the fact. I was considering having them show up during the crossdressing bit but I wasn't sure about the reactions.

>>20803362
GearHeart is just me thrown into a magic world. And shaped by the chaos their.

>>20803377
And damn it I did it again. I meant there. But yeah I was thinking it would be entertaining for people to right up running into Lilly and GearHeart on day three.

>>20803362

The people who exist within the alternate reality I have created many times over in my head. And probably every single person, real or fictional, I have ever encountered.

>>20803362
not sure how much comes through in my story time, but this man has always been my primary father figure and source of inspiration
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otSwCIJyiPQ

>>20803317
I am writting up a piece that takes place on the first day of the festival in which Lem and Kikki make a guest apperance. It might be awhile though.

>>20803362
Reginald does not really have a character he is based off of. I just had a simple idea. Lets make a guy really really big, and awkward, the set him loose on an unsuspecting fantasy world.

I'm honestly amazed that so many people have reoccurring characters. I guess I just prefer to write one shots.

File: 1348192254015.jpg-(912 KB, 2468x1364, 1334608656965.jpg)

>>20803362
Honestly? Largely me, right down to being oblivious to a girl's advances.
I added a hint of athleticism, but that's explained away by the fact that I had several years to get in shape.

I would say I want to add a touch of wittiness from Dante, but I try to do that in real life as well, with varying results.

>>20803377
>>20803454
Send an email if you need. I'm currently working on my own festival stuff (outline only at this point), but I'll go off of what you come up with. I've got plenty of other space to work with.

>>20803187
Actually, I think a typewriter was invented at one point, as part of an attempt to make a metal press and lathe, or something like that.

>>20803664
Not sure how that relates to my post but ok.

>>20803502
if anything you should be surprised that some people here have written more for these threads than they have for college, which includes me up until this saturday. sadly i have to write a giant paper about the effects of agriculture on the environment in the 10,000 years leading up to the industrial revolution and whether we can us anything learned from there to help fix the environment. i know, stupid paper, though on the plus side i have found a way to fix the environment
genocide
the best part is that i showed my teacher my argument and she agrees that killing off mankind will fix the environment
genocide is always the answer. whether or not it's the right one is for moralists and philosophers and other wannabe scientists

>>20803706
Are you evil me?

>>20803664
Yeah, that was one of Fatwelder's stories. Same story as that shovel launcher.

>>20803706
Pfffffffffffffft
>Implying we're destroying the environment
>Implying we're not making it better

>>20803706

Brilliant work there.

And the 1600 words I've written for my story happens to the most I've written since I got out of high school.

>>20803736
No see teachers eat that shit up.

>>20803706
I just finished a paper on genocide for my Ethnic conflicts course...

>>20803706
I don't like your teacher. She sounds like a hippie.

>>20803809
Question have you ever been to college they are all hippies. At least in California they are.

Hey question do any characters play a instrument

>>20803860
Since they're based on us, I'd imagine only if we do. No reason why you can't learn, though.

>>20803860

What kind of instruments do you think a Kanin shepherd might play?

>>20803860
Reginald plays a mean sousaphone.

>>20803894
>>20803902
I kind of meant what instruments do you play if any.

>>20803914
Thank you Reginald

>>20803860
do my enemies count as an instrument?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ctd84NLgTxw#t=575s

>>20803923
For once no. I want to mention some other people during the musical part of the festival.

>>20803921

I can play guitar and piano. I'm not that good at either though.

>>20803933
actually if we're talking about the festival with the jousting that was detailed earlier, i was away from town getting struck by lightning

>>20803961

Maybe you can play the Tesla Coils for us.

>>20803961
True but it doesn't take place till night time so there could be plenty of time and what >>20803970 said. He beat me to it.

>>20803970

A song played on the Tesla Coil.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEgaI6WouQ0

>>20803809
Well, to be fair, the environment would sort of fix itself if humanity just up and disappeared tomorrow and all humanities nuclear reactors and powerplants and chemical manufacturing plants all shut down safely and all the hazardous chemicals and waste are properly jettisoned into space

But we won't so fuck it all!

>>20803921
Fearghaile plays a mean Blues Harmonica. He's had one since he got zapped over. He's never played since though because he didn't want to demoralize with the Blues and well, lips don't go good on metal in the freezing cold. Since he's only played for Kikki, since he carries the thing everywhere, even got it enchanted so that it won't decompose or go out of tune.

>>20803933
Kikki might drag him up on stage when the Halfling Bluegrass band plays.
http://youtu.be/icMTVV5Lwaw

>Steve Martin the Hobbit
>shutupandtakemymoney.jpg

>>20803902
Pan Flute

>>20803981
went to thunder rift valley and back and was unconcious for a day. sorry but i think i'm out of this festival

>>20804059
Oh yeah forgot about that part, but you could still make it to day two and three.

>>20804043

I love me some good banjo.
And all this talk about instruments got me thinking of what Belle would play.

>>20804077
how far away is thunder rift valley?

File: 1348195334397.gif-(29 KB, 678x738, 1334063481559.gif)

I stared deeply into my mug of ale. The brew was a warm retreat from the chill of winter outside, where a fresh blanket of snow was tumbling down. The blanket only reminded me how pasty I look, tinged a slight red from chill and booze.
Soon, there was only my ale-mirror, reflecting my face back at me.
>Are we happy yet, Alaric?
Ah, self-evaluation. We meet again, my critical friend.
>We got a job, a house, we're a manly warrior. Feelin' good, Al?
I feel content.
>Yeah, but you never felt a lot of ambition before. You were always too apathetic, never quite passionate enough. Now you have a Waifu to fight for. Except, you know, not on a computer screen.
I prefer the term "going steady."
>You could have been at that stage when she moved in with you, idiot. You needed to beat champion swordsmen just to realize how she feels about you.
Is this a bad thing? I got a neat sword out of it.
>You tell me.
...Damn it brain, we're getting drunk. Just let me enjoy my literal piece of tail.
>You want children.
Shut up. I'm drinking you away and going to go enjoy having a Waifu now.

File: 1348195430720.jpg-(161 KB, 1280x1024, German Armor.jpg)

>>20804091
I downed the rest of the tankard, left some money and took a step outside, my boots crunching on the snow. I wore no hat, but wouldn't need it. I had insulated inside my armor with rags. Sheer willpower would keep my face warm. The streets were mostly empty, the people getting warm at home. There was no doubt I'd soon be as well; Sera was delightfully affectionate. Maybe it was the winter months playing a part, but our physical relationship involved a lot of hugs and cuddling, usually more than actual boning. A reflection of our relationship, it was one as much friends as it was lovers. My home was in sight now, bearing its treasures. Within was my solace, my companion, my reason to always return alive. Within was my Waifu.

>Hey, Al. You happy yet?
Yes.

>>20804087
Well its between the frozen marsh and the drawven range. By foot like three days. By dragon assuming a flight speed of I don't know 40mph maybe a day. Let see average walking speed 8mph and walking like 15 hours in a day=120 Nine hours to fly from Castle Waifu to Thuder Rift taking off like two for as the crow flies seven hours if you can fly at 40mph. But I don't know how fast dragons can fly

>>20804106
Wait, I forget, is Sera a Felim or something else?

Also, enjoyed the style. Great way to set the mood, but what really made it was the >greentext

>>20804163
Shes a human. Half man and half hue

>>20804159
ok then, i should have made it back for day three. don't know how good i'd be on the tesla coils, but i'll give it a shot

>>20804201
Sweet adding it to the day three closing band.

>>20804201

It's the thought that counts. And I think everyone would get a good laugh out of it anyway.

>>20804163
Felim, why do you ask?

>>20804217
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqX0T1Y6lCM
make sure it's after dark

File: 1348196345518.jpg-(160 KB, 640x434, bretherenbeforewenches.jpg)

>>20804221
>Long time friends/companions with waifus
>Both waifus had super cereal feelings for them long before
>Only recently understood/accepted them
>Accomplished warriors

LEM AND AL ARE EXACTLY THE SAME.

Man, Sera and Kikki would have alot to commiserate about...

>>20804217
Dear lord I'm going to be in a band?

>>20804290
>Implying I am not a Huge fan of Tesla Coil Music.

>>20804310
Yep.

Good lord, you hooligans decided to come alive as soon as I took a nap, and now there are 109 new posts!

File: 1348196734746.jpg-(308 KB, 792x567, 1333506325212.jpg)

>>20804295
Great minds think alike?

Though Lem was more about confronting emotions, and Al was just blind and went through a bout of introspection about his life.

>>20804323

Will any of the natives be playing music?

>>20804463
I imagine but right now I am looking for named characters who can play.

>>20804512

Surely someone's waifu can play something.

>>20804601
Yes but I need to know who can play what. I want any character who can play.

Music for the festival???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1CjxQXXA7o

>>20804645
My waifu can't play instruments. She can't even hold one... poor ghosty :(

>>20804693
Can she sing?

>>20804645

Belle should be able to play some traditional Kanin music. On the pan flute or some similar instrument. Got to have something to do while watching those sheep.

>>20804712
Whoops, wrong name. No she can not, sorry for her being useless... thought she kinda is... just a bit... can't even be a ghost properly.

>>20804742

I need to go back to reading the archived threads. Must know why she's so obsessed with blood.

>>20804657
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hULJu2mcU6s&feature=relmfu
How about this?

>>20804657
>>20804770
See: >>20804043

Hobbitsplayingbanjo.gif

>>20804770
I...Uh, what?

>>20804857
I really dig Metal Gear music.

>>20804770
I was thinking Ravel's Pavane Pour Une Infante Défunte. As It would best fit what musical instruments we have.

>>20804892
Oh, alright then, I thought it was some kind of pun that just flew right over my head.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gz2KE4FeszY&feature=related

>>20804907
Or Schubert's Erlkonig

>>20803362
For my characters? I draw various bits from people I know, make a little up here and there, and bam. Can't think of any hard inspirations I'm drawing from, though. Just making a couple of old song references every here and there.
>>20802930
I've been assuming so. The monstergirl ones are just so much nicer.
>>20802657
>implying
Should...should we be letting the waifus have access to that sort of power? If that falls into the wrong hands it could topple the entire castle.

>>20804930
As long as we use it they are going to learn it.

>>20804930
Petra, with great power comes great responsibility
>implying I'm going to be responsible.
No I'm serious, you can't just go around putting your webs over peoples doors and in bathroom stalls like that...
>implying I'm going to stop.

>>20803362

Personally, I am an avid archer, and my hero in that respect is Howard Hill, the greatest archer that has ever lived. Another is just from various doodles and scenarios that have played out in my head over the years that I've come to enjoy daydreaming about.

Festival time!

Festivals, what’s not to like? There were tournaments, plays, singing, food and a happy atmosphere. It was warm out, and the morning of the start of the festival was already vibrant singing and dancing, the smell of food being prepared hung in the air, teasing the nostrils of many a hungry wanderer. I was walking through the festival grounds my arm around my newly gained Waifu Evette, whom I had convinced to not wear a hood out and about today. She peered around nervously at passersby, some of the folk just smiling and acting normally, some giving a double-take at the sight of her facial scars. I gave her a little squeeze with the arm I had around her and smiled at her, planting a quick peck on her forehead to reassure her. She just blushed and smiled back, a little more pep in her step after that. I had approached a large gathering of shouting and hollering people. Politely edging my way past people like a stereotypical Canadian of the Old Realm, I had found the archery competition. My eyes lit up with anticipation, and I found myself inadvertently walking towards the registry table.

“Hey now… don’t you think that you should let these people have their fun, and just watch?” Evette asked

I stopped and turned to her, and gave her a look that she was right and began to walk back to the crowd when one of the watchers yelled out.

“Oh! It’s the Captain! Captain! Hey! Are you going to sign up for the competition?”

>>20805209


“Oh.. no, I-“ I began to stutter.
Somewhere else in the crowd someone yelled;

“What, is our noble Captain too afraid someone will beat him? Hahaha!”

Now, usually, I am a calm and composed man, but when someone takes into account of my honour, let it be known that I will not back down. I looked at Evette who gave me the “Oh just go ahead” look and I strode up to the table, and signed my name up.

>>20805218

I took off my breastplate, and donned picked up my quiver of arrows. Stringing my bow I did a few stretches, hamming it up for the crowd. I was done playing around, and as my opponent, another guard stepped up to the line, I let him shoot first. Three arrows at seventy-five yards. He landed all three on the target, but scattered variously throughout the large wicker target. The crowd clapped and shouted, and as I stepped up to the line, I plucked my first arrow from the quiver, and pulled deeply and smoothly with my back, I stretched the longbow to its full length. Locking my elbow, I bore the brunt of the weight in my back, which was much easier to maintain than in the arm, and I sighted down the shaft, loosed the first arrow, and watched it sail near the middle of the target. I rolled a shoulder and repeated the shot, again, near the middle. For my third, I pulled the bow past its full extension, drawing the arrow back as far as the head hitting the wood of the bow. Aiming more directly, I loosed the powerful shot as it sailed straight and true with almost no drop into the target. There was even more clapping and shouting as I shook my first opponent’s hand.

File: 1348200223825.jpg-(502 KB, 1800x1200, 1348030610715.jpg)

>>20805228

Now, repeat that eight more times and there I was, in the final. I was going up against a mercenary that was staying in the castle at the time; a forest ranger. He went first, knocking two arrows at once, and firing them both near the center of the target. The crowds went wild at the double shot, and he finished the final shot with a near perfect use of accuracy. He smiled and nodded at me, sensing my defeat. Deeply inhaling, I set two arrows in the dirt, and I plucked one, aimed, fired, and drew the other, and fired in quick succession, the second arrow flying in the air just as the first impact near the very center of the target. The rapid fire shots were enough to impress the crowd, but the judges were looking slightly skeptical. So I called forth my Waifu Evette, and had her stand to my left. She was confused as to what was going on so she just stood there compliantly. I knocked and drew the arrow to its full length, and then, turned my head over my shoulder to look at her. Not looking at the target, but instead, her wonderful face, I winked and let loose the arrow, never once looking to where it landed. The crowd was enough of the confirmation as they exploded in cheers and pure noise. If I had turned to check, it was dead center (which I did later) and my opponent stood with his mouth agape. It was a gamble, and I had no idea if I could do it, but it was enough to impress the judges and win me the tournament. I was handed small pile of gold which I threw into the crowd, and if that final shot wasn’t enough to impress Evette, my act of charity certainly did. We did not stay for the sword fighting tournament, nor the feast afterwards, we proceeded home and… well, I’ll leave that to the imagination.

(Notice posted on the bulletin board at the front of Olin's library)

Congratulations to Lem and Kikki Fearghaile, and damn you for making me lose my bet.

>>20805264
Tell me Olin was one of the guys betting it would end horribly or that Lem was gay. Because that would be hilarious.

There, got my Festival story in, and now I do not know what to write about.

>>20805707

I'm not sure what to write next either. Can't come up with what would happen in the castle.

>>20805745

And it'll become a lot harder for me to write something if I have to do interaction with the character of someone else.

>people unsure of what to write
>waiting for my hair to dry anyways
Hm, looks like the perfect time for me to pop in, throw out some posts, and pop out.

New entry
Hello. Yeah, it's been a while. Not much, how about you?
Man, I miss that song. Wish I could remember more than that and the chorus. But enough of that. Nothing too exciting in the last good while. Today was a different story. Another fa/tg/uy showed up, guess I can't really call him that. Come to think of it, I wonder how the rest of them look? Are they as fat and neckbeardy as the stereotypes made them out to be? Had they prioritized reinventing Cheetos in this strange new world? In any case, this one was a Sir something starting with a G. Gear something? Oh, I'm so awful with names. Have to write them down in about thirty minutes or I start to forget. I'll just call him Sir Gar for now. So this Sir Gar comes rolling in with a bunch of girls in tow. Busted 'em from some slave trading ring. We got to talking a bit, I gave a rough explanation of what I'd learned about the Holstaurus race. It seemed to weird him out a bit, reminded me of me. Told him I reckon he'll get over it. Kept calling me "Dallas" for some reason. Can't imagine why. San Antonio is a far superior city. At least it wasn't something terrible like "Houston" or "El Paso."

>>20805761

Well, if you want, you can use me in any capacity. Just write what you would think I would say.

That goes with anyone wanting to use me in their posts, I give you permission. Just don't make me do anything you'd think as out of character.

>>20805783
So, girls stolen away and then some returned. Naturally this calls for a celebration. As soon as I got there I was pulled off to the side by some girls I've never really met. They wanted to see if I could play one of their string instruments. I guess the best way to describe it would be that it's similar to a fiddle? It was heavier than any fiddle I'd ever held with a thicker bow. The conversation that followed went something like this:
"I have only ever even seen one of this about once or twice. I've never even tried playing something similar."
"Don't care, try to play it."
"I guess I can try, but it'll sound terrible and-"
"And we'll laugh at you and how bad it is, yeah."
"Oh. Wow. That's blunt."
"Don't get your panties in a knot, it's tradition."
Well, that certainly caught me off guard. I decided to just take a crack at it. I mean, it would have been offensive not to, right? So I pulled that bow across the strings and it made an awful, horrid screech like something from an elementary school music teacher's daily life. Oh it was so bad. We all had a good laugh about that. They mentioned something about teaching me to not suck at some point in the future. I'm sure it'll be fun. At the party itself, I noticed some woman I'd never seen before. She was talking with Sir Gar a lot, I guess she came in with him? Considering they came in from Castle Waifu, maybe she's his waifu? She gave off kind of a weird vibe, some kind of mix between, "you know, I bet she's a great person to talk to" and, "getting too close to her will probably end very poorly for me why am I starting to feel afraid this can't be good." Nothing else really happened at the party. Left early, I think something I ate didn't quite settle right. Still doesn't feel right.

>>20805795
Sir Gar rolling in has got me thinking about this whole "waifu" thing again. Had the others really managed to stabilize their own nation? They've even got a castle?
Had to vomit, lost train of thought, can't reestablish. Time to change subject.
The more I find myself thinking about /tg/ and the concept of waifu as a whole, the more I find my thoughts drifting in Annya's direction. We're already rather close as is. Could she be considered as a waifu? Is she already my waifu? Well, not technically, but close enough? Perhaps I should talk to her about that, even see about moving to /tg/. Maybe the folks aren't as bad as I originally figured.
More throwing up. Time to talk to Belen, see if she knows something nifty we can do about that.
Note to self: No more calling him Sir Gar. It sounds campy.

>>20805761
Try doing a joint work with someone. I am working on something with Sir Fearghaile and its a very eye opening experience.

>>20805788

But would you be someone to talk to about purchasing a house or joining the knights?

>>20803362
Oh, forgot to thank you for pointing me towards the smoot. I won't be able to use it in anything I write because I only just learned about it, but it pretty much captures the feeling of what I was going for. Made my day.

>>20805805

Well lets see:

I am the Captain of the Guard, and according to the Wiki, I am the Founder of the Harem Knight Order.

So... I guess?

>>20805816

Works for me. Now for the housing problem...

>>20805802

I like that idea. Would just need to find someone else who's interested, but first I want to finish up what I have going right now. It should end with them having a house and possibly joining the knights.

>>20805855

I'm sure I could hook you up, or at least give you access to permits or buying land within the walls, or possibly a house for sale. Maybe you should find someone who is an administrator though, I just run the Guard after all.

>>20805885

I can see something coming together now.
>Go to Castle Waifu
>Wander around for a bit
>Find and talk to Sir Giovanni about the Knights
>Ask him about possibly getting a house
>He points us towards some currently unnamed character that handles that stuff
>Get house
>Head to new house
>End of current story

>>20805957
Ever seen O Brother, Where Art Thou? If so the house handling stuff gut should be styled after big Dan the bible salesman

>>20805957

Joining the Knights? That I can help with. Finding a house, I can probably point you to someone who can help. I think I would know everyone within my walls well enough to help.

>>20805999

I'm going to need to watch it again. I don't remember much about Dan.

>>20806049 From the Creative Minds of Sir Fearghaile and Sir GearHeart
First Day OF Festival, Many things happened during the festival. Like all the stuff that happened on the first day between our arrival and the girls getting a stomach ache. I think the biggest thing that got skipped over in the previous log was our run in with Lem and Kikki. For those who don't know for like four years they had this sexual tension thing going on. It was worse than Luke and Leia in Empire Strikes Back, only we were glad they shacked up. What some consider to be the worst part was how they were completely aware of each others feelings, but refused to act on it. It was so apparent that it was a huge deal where just about everyone had bet on the outcome. I had an inside scoop in the form of a succubus who could see auras though some said Lilly cheated. I tell those people to say it to her face. No seriously she is far more dangerous than me. Anyway I digress, so Lilly came home the day before the festival and told me all about taking Kikki to a bar and getting her drunk and leaving her on Lem's bed. But getting to the point. So there we were trying the taffy when Lilly shouted out above the crowd.

>>20806148
“Hey Kikki, did you force yourself on him or did you convince him to give you the dick?”
All I could do was facepalm. You could take the succubus out of hell, but you could not take the attitude towards sex out of the succubus. So they made their way through the crowd Kikki just about pulling Sir Fearghaile's arm off.
“Hi Lilly, thanks for yesterday. Except for the hangover you can keep that for yourself next time.”
“Next time we have to bring the boys along, so I can figure out who is a cheaper date. I've never seen James here drink more than a glass. But you have to tell me how did it go.”
“Hey~ I can’t just go and spill the beans on everything now can I? He made an awesome Birthday meal though”
“Oh your Birthday was yesterday, I wish I had known. I would have made sure you got all your birthday spankings, but I am sure Lemy here took care of that.”
At this point Sir Fearghaile laughed heartedly while Kikki blushed. “Pay up~.”
“Damnit Lilly, why do you have to be so pervy.” Kikki said as she handed over a copper.
“Years and years of on the job training. I am getting better, I think. Well I like to think. Anyhow, I see he came through in the end. Thats a beautiful ring, took me forever to get a ring from James.”
Instinctively, the Felim hid her ring hand. “He gave you a ring? Where is it?” Kikki said looking at Lilly's hands.
“Oh it’s in a safe place.”
“C’mon, you expect me to bear all and you get to have all your secrets?”
“It’s not like Lilly can keep anything secret, with her it’s only a short time ‘til she says it.” I chimed in.

>>20806169
“Well you just need to play a little hard ball, but if you must know the ring was a replacement for an old one and its in a place few see though many wish to. You’re a smart girl, I am sure you can figure it out.”
Rather than a witty retort, Kikki came across as morbidly curious. “Oh, d-doesn’t that hurt?"
“For the first week or so, like you wouldn’t believe. But its really fun after that. My favorite part is when you give it a little tug, it just about lights up your spine like a bonfire. You should get one, I am sure it would spice things up, if you ever needed to.” Kikki turned quite the shade of crimson at that point.

>>20806175
Lem then turned to me. “I’ve discovered their conversation to be far too exciting for the likes of me. How’s tricks been, Jim.”
“Not bad, though sometimes I think the girls are trying to put me in an early grave. Like last week, I was visiting an Orc clan. Call themselves the Tree Eaters. So Meina said to one of them that I could take any warrior there in single combat. Their best warrior was twelve feet tall and used a club the size of a T-rex bone. But thats the usual.”
“One of those Ork-name challenges, eh? I don’t get it, but all the Orks around here have started called me ‘Great Cleave’ or something like that. Someone’s been letting them into the 3.5 books...”
“That’s better than Weapon Eater. I think just about anything is better than Weapon Eater.” Awkward silence. “So you competing in any competitions? The girls keep bugging me about it but I would rather watch than compete.”
“Eh, was gonna join the combat competition, but I trained most of those guys after the Hard Months, wouldn’t be fair. And I only joust to troll the Mirthans anyway, so I don’t know.”
“The only time I have ever jousted was on the NES. But yeah I don’t feel like I would be one for the combat competition either. I think most of my moves are illegal.”

>>20806180
That was when Sir Fearghaile's keen ears perked up at an odd noise that rang in his ears. He looked around but could not figure out where it was coming from, other than the direction of Meina.
“Does anyone else hear the sounds of bells nearby?”
“Uh nope not me, don't hear a thing here have a corndog.” Meina said blushing about five shades of red.
Lem narrowed her a glance that made it clear that he wasn’t buying a word of what she said. It looked like he was about to say something.
“Meina! You should be ashamed of offering a man who just sealed the deal a corndog.” Lilly interrupted. Sparing Meina any further embarrassment.
“Damn it Lilly what have I said about pulling things out of my head?”
There was an awkward silence for a moment.

>>20806192
“So Lilly how did you know that we um did it.” Kikki whispered to Lilly.
“You mean besides the nearly divine glow you two are giving off.”
“Oh.”
“You were also practically starving for attention for Lem.”
“Was it that obvious?”
“One does not need be a succubus to have seen it. But it does help.”
“Well I do believe we should be letting the two love birds go, Lilly.”
“Yes I believe so, do have a good time and remember if you ever need advice either one of you, feel free to come to me. Especially if its bedroom related, some guys just don't have the first clue how to really satisfy a woman.”
We parted ways with them, both of them sporting a healthy glow and also a hint of a blush.
“You know I should do that more often.”
“What create awkward situations, I think you do that enough.”
“No, help people hook up. There are plenty of poor souls out there looking for love.”
“Great you’re going to start up a dating service.”
“What’s a dating service?”
“A way to try to hook people up, by figuring out what people have in common.”
“Hows that work?”
“Not well. Back in my world there was a magazine dating service. The woman who reads better homes and gardens would probably like the man who reads Popular Mechanics. The woman who reads Fashion Magazine would like the guy who read G.Q. The problem is the guy who reads G.Q wants the man who reads Popular Mechanics.”
“I don't get it.”
“I know.”
We saw Lem and Kikki a few more times that day. Every time they were holding hands with stars in their eyes. And a few times Lilly said she saw them trying to eat each others face in the treeline.

>>20806203
Thoughts guys? What started out as a cameo ended up as a joint effort. Pretty happy with it. Extra props to Sir GearHeart for writing all the good parts.

>>20806312

I love it.

>>20806312

I thought it was pretty good man.

File: 1348208355016.jpg-(326 KB, 1600x1200, 1336003468296.jpg)

>>20806312
Pretty good. Anyways, I gotta go catch some sleep and brainstorm my next story.
Probably gonna be questing in some ruins. Or having a soliloquy about the adventurer's lifestyle. Or both.

>>20803860
I can't see Olin taking the time to learn an instrument, but I can see this being played in a tavern.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKspG7OWJ7Q

>>20805379
That wasn't what I had in mind, but I'll go with that because it's funnier. Besides, I can't see Olin knowing a thing about romance. Which will make his semi-forced journey into the subject all the more amusing.

(Have I introduced Cerran yet? I think I mentioned her, but her first appearance was in an annotation I wrote for the book version. See the link below.)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1H7iYaL34iMOzSc8jJng-vsSxeAzjWuIPiWbYAjZTZX0/edit

Dammit, you guys. Three times I've turned off the lights to go to bed, and three times I've turned them back on because I had an idea of some sort for an Olin piece I'm writing.

Now to go to bed, for real this time. I'll finish it in the morning. No, really. Sleep now. ARGH, WHY DO MY BEST IDEAS ALWAYS COME TO ME WHEN I'M SLEEP-DEPRIVED?

On a tangent, the only times I've managed to beat two Touhou games, and both times I should've been in bed hours before. I think I figured a way to overclock my brain.

Morning folks. Totally out of no-where, but referring to something mentioned at the end of the last thread... You would not believe how impossible it is to find a picture of a fox-girl or kitsune in a 18th-century musketman's uniform. Sorry; it's just been on my mind ever since it was mentioned.

Important question though... For Teegee's dress uniforms for the men at arms... Prussian blue, or British red?

>>20807972
British Red.

Accept no substitute.

Also, Good evening from the other side of the world

>>20807972
Blue is usually a heroic colour, but red is a passionate one. Theeen again, redcoats...
I've just been waiting to see who else is up. That brings my count to 2-3 awake and 2-3 asleep.
Who would like to hear a tale of Elven might in isolated adversity, and the Triumph of Elf against all odds?

>>20807991
Go ahead and put in your writing, I'm only getting my daily doubles in World Of Tanks before I shall do some writing of myself.

>>20807991
Works for me. Both the colour and the elves.

Also: Even better idea than fox-kanin redcoats... Elves in 18th-century redcoats. My god would I romance dem ears so hard. I know the Men-At-Arms are mixed-race and I've got nothing against that, not to mention battle dress is full armour (with good reason, I proposed those reforms), but imagine it... A whole platoon of fox-kanin and kitsune redcoats... Then a whole platoon of Elven redcoats.

> Excuse me while I daydream.

>>20807972
I would have suggested colors based on specialization. Blue and yellow for our artillery perhaps, red for melee infantry, and so on.

>>20808055
Red for the Dress, and different colour belts and decorum to differentiate between role.

>>20808055
Sacrilege and blasphemy! A uniform must be uniform! The only sign of differing divisions should be badges!

Ahem. Apologies. You may have guessed from the name that I'm British. No-one messes with my delicious uniformed girls. It's not a bad idea, but I'll still fight it to the end.

>>20808047
Wait, you do mean friendly elves, right?
I thought elves + redcoats would bring back memories of the American revolution.
Oh dear, that might hurt your daydream...

>>20808055
We'd need a lot of dye for that. Possibly from Serridia. And that seems like more trouble than its worth.

File: 1348220567938.jpg-(45 KB, 640x640, trollface.jpg)

>>20808088
>MFW British Army Infantry, Cavalry and Artillery all have different Swords, Belts, Regalia.

>>20808093

Of course the friendly ones. You think I want to see those arrogant pricks with muskets? Perish the thought! As much as I'd hate to see our wonderful pointy-eared waifus hurt... Elven girls look delicious in redcoats.

I think we're all over the revolution now... Which we totally should have won by the way. Dumbass generals not knowing how to find their butts with both hands, stupid weather and the bloody French... Ah well; ancient conflicts a world away are unimportant next to high adventure, bros and waifus.

>>20808110
That's not different colours. Now hush and let me enjoy my daydream. Maybe I'll even get to bloody well write something today. I hate government paperwork getting in my way.

>>20808142

You mean a war that you probably couldn't have won due to fighting frontiersmen, many of whom had better muskets, on their home turf in terrain that was extremely rural compared to their experience in very urban areas of Europe, combined with a seasoned Militia supporting the professional French-trained army, right?

>>20808167
Maybe I should have kept quite about the red uniforms...

>>20808167
Rule Britannia, Britannia Rule The Waves.

Actually, the war of 1812 was horrible for the British, due to the French involvement. IT WAS ALL THE FRENCHIES FAULT!

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>>20808167
>>French-trained
>>LaughingPrussians.gif

Moving along, I suggest since we haven't moved to 18th century warfare, we stick to including highly-polished armor in the dress uniforms instead of just wool coats with leather belts.

Something closer to this, but with the mandatory cape and swagger stick for the officers.

>>20808167
Was going to argue with you... Then I realised how pointless it was. This isn't the board for it anyway and most certainly not the thread.

Polite sage for off-topic.

>>20808188
OH GOD ALL OF MY YES. Well, maybe for the dragoons, or the hussars. Besides, there's a difference between 'parade' and 'dress' armour. Good thing is, with our (thankfully limited) industrialisation, manufacturing such things is easy.

I'm sorry, but I just want my redcoat girls. Mai waifu or not, can't blame me for wanting some eye-candy.

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>>20808198
Well...we could always include state troops. Each uniform is dictated by whoever presides over them, and since they're only part-time they can still go adventuring.

Some of our cavalry, of course, will HAVE to wear this, leopard pelt and all.

>>20808209
Fuck man, far as I'm concerned, the wings are battle dress. I proposed the winged hussars back when the reforms were brought up for three reasons:
1) We were lacking badly in heavy cavalry. As in, we had none. Just the light horse and the dragoons.
2) If we're going to have heavy cavalry, better model them after some of the most hard-core neck-stompers everto jam a lance through somebody's face.
3) Fuck, have you SEEN them? The hussars got SWAG.

Not sure what you mean by 'state troops' though. Far as I knew, there's the Men-At-Arms, our professional, full-time soldier corps; the dragoons, hussars and light cavalry, who I think are attached to various knights; and the levy, trained citizens who are called up for defence of the realm, when needed.

File: 1348223639872.jpg-(312 KB, 1500x1500, Bane-cent the cook.jpg)

"Your braising must be more severe"

"When the temperature is right.You have my permission to fry."

I like to imagine that vincent the cook looks like this.

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>>20808226
State troops would be reservists, the semi-pro soldiers called up to augment the men-at-arms in times of war, but are otherwise just called in to train every so often.

Idealy I'd like to model our tactics after those developed by Alduphus Gustavus Magnus, but our limited gunpowder makes his improved gunlines a bit pointless. They did learn the value charging the enemy in the wake of field artillery though. It was brutally effective in the 30 Years War.

Rieter armor is pretty awesome too, just saying.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s9eWbrc_ynw&feature=related

Also, that blue and yellow is a damn sexy color scheme.

>>20808226 better model them after some of the most hard-core neck-stompers everto jam a lance through somebody's face

Then there was that time when an entire hussar army ran off because the enemy infantry was advancing towards them.

>>20808269
And THEN there was the time, 3,000 hussars (plus extras) routed 200,000 Ottomans at the battle of Vienna in 1683.

>>20808263
Ah, you say 'state troops', I say 'levy', it boils down to the same: Civilians who do military service for a portion of the year, called up as a reserve.

>>20808353
So, National Guardsmen then?

>>20808375
Or the Territorial Army, yeah. Levies have been in place for centuries and are bloody useful when your full-time fighting force is rather diddly by comparison to everyone else's.

Still, our best defence is diplomacy. The Men-At-Arms can hold off a force of, on a good day, with superior position and cannon about 3000-3500 bad guys. With the levy for a real emergency, that becomes about 4000-5000, maybe 5500 at a pinch. Thing is, while that keeps us safe from pretty much any minor state we've seen thus far, or the forces of individual Elf lords or Mithterrahn nobles, it's just not enough to go toe-to-toe with the assembled forces the Elves, or all of Mithterrah could bring against us. Long story short; we're better off just not giving them a reason and being scary enough that they don't want to run the risk. Better to be loved and feared, but if you can't manage both, go for just fear.

3rd Sun's Dusk 2A.A.
Dear Diary,
Wow. It's been so long since I've kept a diary, easily over a year. It's nice to just write things down again, Karrigan was right about this. Well, not much to say, Diary. Larissa and I had breakfast with Kasai before he went off to his guard duties, and Larissa and I had a day of rest and shopping planned out.

We idled around the markets, doing our shopping and scoring a few good bargains before dropping by Karrigan's shop to chat. She's a lovely friend, great to just talk to you know? Well, we got talking and she convinced me to buy you, a lovely little leatherback diary just to get things off my chest. Larissa got a small necklace, it really is pretty, Kasai should like, and if he doesn't I'll have to bash him over the head or else he'll make Larissa all sad for the next few days. I love them both, but Spirits Larissa is still very shy. It's been about 6 months since the idiot adopted her, and she is slowly opening up. She still won't go out on her own though, I must find her something to do here at home, she has to be bored around the house.

Speaking of the blockhead, we bought him some lunch. I should probably stop lazing around on the sunny porch and take it to him....

Tomoe.

>>20808607
7th Sun's Dusk 2A.A.
G'day Diary,
Heh, stupid Kasai keeps rubbing off on me. He says its cute when I try to mimic his accent. It's just so ...different, from even the other Outrealmers of TeeGee. He's from a place called Australia, known for Hard Men and even harder conditions. The other Outrealmers all seem to show a little bit of awe when he tells tales of his Old homeland. He reckons (Bah! Another of his 'Aussie' words I've picked up....I'll smack him later...) that it is easier to list the things that wouldn't kill you 'back home in the land down under'. The TeeGee Cant is odd, and his regional cant even odder. He must think the same of the Serridians or Mithterrans, I suppose.

On another note, I've managed to get Larissa to open up to me a little more today after dinner. Kasai went off to the Rouge Trader to play what he called 'Texas Hold 'em', what it is I don't know but most days he plays it he comes home with a bit more gold than he left with. Larissa told me she likes the hat Kasai had made for the Dawn Service he performed for the Day of Arrival holiday, and wouldn't mind learning how to make them in her spare time. I'll have to speak to Karrigan in the morning, she was the one who pointed the blockhead towards a hat-maker in the town. Hopefully, the hat-maker is still around and doesn't mind teaching Larissa, it will be excellent to give her a hobby whilst Kasai and I are on Guard during the day.

Sayonara Diary, Tomoe

File: 1348229866607.jpg-(12 KB, 300x372, 575404-the_redshirt_large.jpg)

>want to organize units by colored uniforms
>turn fluffy tail into red shirts
oh god no, we can't lose our fluffy tails

also, for heavy cavalry we may be able to use waste goats

>>20808665
8th Sun's Dusk 2A.A.
Today was a good yet odd day Diary. Before my shift I talked to Karrigan and got directions to the hat-maker. On the way I passed the Captain, Sir Giovanni. He chuckled and said something about Kasai asking for the 11th off, laughing and asking me if we had something special planned. I informed Sir Giovanni that he hadn't told me or Larissa anything about it, though he has been restless in his sleep of the past few days. Quite a feat, given that Larissa usually curls up around him and I rather like sleeping atop him, well, them. We all love each other dearly, nothing wrong with that. The Captain smiled at that and just walked off, whistling a tune that is one of Kasai's favourites. I'll admit it keeps growing on me too, that song. Touch Fluffy Tail, by someone called Ken Ashcorp, what an odd name. Oh look, I'm rambling. I never do that! Well, at least it's safe in here Diary, not out in the open where Kasai could rub my nose in it.

Well, after my meeting with the Captain, I found the hat-maker and had a quick conversation with him. Fellow was nice, a human from the Mithterran capital who moved out here when he saw a nobleman kill a Felim slave in cold blood for bumping into someone and not instantly apologizing and meekly stating it wasn't her fault. Poor fellow, but he told me not to worry, he loves it here and would be happy to teach Larissa his trade. Said he needed a hand anyways. I thanked him and left, my shift was about to start up on the walls.

>>20808680
RedCOATS. There's a difference. RedSHIRTS are expendable plot-fodder. RedCOATS are ball-busting hardasses with a snappy uniform, rigid discipline and a history of stomping faces all over three fifths of the world, including smashing one of the most brutally hardcore forces of the time; Napoleon's Grande Armée. Standard tactics included advancing to half of normal range, then unloading double-shot muskets into the enemy, while close enough to smell the fear on him, reloading, firing again, then fixing bayonets and turning whatever's left into a human shishkebab.

Also: You want to try convincing those ornery bastards to carry someone? They're made of spite, hate, evil and hunger! For god's sake, their diet consists mostly of meat and lichen, but mostly meat! Okay, seriously I'm getting at least some of my story involving the wastes done and posted today, if it kills me.

>>20808736
8th Sun's Dusk 2A.A. (Continued)
When I got home, I questioned Kasai about his single day of leave and why he hadn't told us. He went very quiet, very unlike him, and mumbled something into his dinner. I threatened him and told him to speak up and he just looked at me with blank eyes. I've never seen him like that, just... Empty. It was very creepy. He told us very quietly that his family had a proud military tradition back in the Old Realm, and the 11th of November, Sun's Dusk, was one of their most sacred days, second only to the 25th of April, Rain's Hand by the TeeGee calendar.

He called it 'Remembrance Day', and that at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month he would observe a minutes silence for those fallen in battle to defend their homes for the Crown and Country. He intended to place a thing called a Poppy Flower upon the graves of each of our fallen soldiers from that day. Larissa and I both complained that he didn't have to leave us out, but he silenced us with a hand.

"It is my tradition, my burden to bear." He said solemnly.

I'll still be speaking to the Captain tomorrow, I want the 11th off to pay my respects too. If it weren't for TeeGee, Kasai would never have found and rescued me. He needs me, the silly man, he just tries to forget that fact.

Good Night Diary. I hope we can make his sleep peaceful tonight.

>>20808790
9th Sun's Dusk 2A.A.
Not a lot to talk about today Diary.

Introduced Larissa to Mike the Hat-Maker. She was very shy, but Mike took her under his wing in his stride. I stayed and watched for a bit, Larissa took to his instructions like a harpy to the skies.

Got leave from the Captain after a little explanation, Sir Giovanni was beginning to wonder why Kasai was acting a little strange lately. I know what he is feeling, I too miss my family, and his is as good as dead just as mine is, he will never see them again.

I need some time Diary, I'll write later. Tomoe.

>>20808788
you aren't good with animals are you, waste goats are adorable and cuddly and lovable

>>20808814
I spent five hours running from one of those bloody things while I was in the wastes. The food pyramid out there's a bloody circle and it decided 'Harem Knight' was on the menu! I never did like goats. Foul-tempered bastards. Almost as bad as chickens!

(Seriously, had a real-life cukcoo experience when I was five years old. Can't stand the damn things!)

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Entry 16, 19th First Seed
Bandits on the mountain passes proved problematic for me to deal with. I was armed only with a sturdy stick which I used to make walking easier if not on the feet then the mind and possessed nothing of value, I still hadn't broken my vow of poverty yet. Again I'm sure TeeGee would probably cite some fantasy RPG rulebook that prohibited the possession of magical items when taking said vow but they can go stuff it. I already read that thread and I don't care since the enchantment itself isn't even a buff.

It would seem that my Gods have forsaken me but as always, my Goddess of Hope never left me hanging without a piece of rope for me to either hang myself with or use to my advantage. I was saved by a pair of orcs. Their colouration was more towards grey as opposed to the orcs I have seen on my travels who were mostly green. One was male, the other female, the former carrying broad bladed two-handed cleaver and the female had a mace hanging by her side.

>>20808872
They were surprisingly civilised and I surmised that orcs have subspecies, I will have to talk to Sir GearHeart about this later when I get the chance. They were the equivalent of a married couple in their culture, the female being a shaman and the male a warrior. Having simply decided to wander the mountains to afford themselves privacy, they came across me. I had asked them why they would save me, a human of all things from his other, the male replied that he simply was bored and was looking for a fight. I was spared simply because it would bring him no honour to strike down an unarmed opponent.

Sadly I could offer them little in terms of material payment as I was a more or less an educated beggar. I don't know why they stuck around after I left on my way to the nearest Dwarven hold but it at least gave me an opportunity to investigate their religious practices, namely shamanism.

Shamanism in this land was quite similar to the practices back in the Old World with maybe one significant difference. Here a trained shaman did not need to be in an altered state of mind to commune with their chosen spirit. Maybe their minds are sufficiently altered from the rituals and trials they undergo. I am not a wizard and I will not attempt to explain how their shamanistic powers work. That aside these species of orcs also worship two gods.

>>20808874
The War God Ter, a male deity, oversees all things related to battle. The skilled and the brave are the ones that flourish under his gaze and the one thing that displeases the War God the most was cowardice. It is said that Ter is also fair, an eye for an eye, no more and no less. Most of the stories the male told me was of minor misfortunes before or during battle and he attributed to himself displeasing Ter but not enough to warrant losing everything.

The Earth Mother Tera (coincidence, I think not) is a female deity and Ter's mate is responsible for all livings things big and small. Though she may be the most benevolent deity I have ever heard of in my travels, all were her children, an angry mother can bring about untold amounts of destruction. The female related to me a tale of dwarven greed and insanity. They had dug too deep, they had taken too much from the mountains without heed to balance or the plight of their fellow living beings. As such, she brought forth an eruption of molten rock, lava, and though their time to live was short, some of the dwarves had managed to escape before Tera returned the rest to her warm embrace.

>>20808835
which is why we keep them fed. all it took to get everest was jerky

>>20808811
11th November, 2013 A.D. (11th Sun's Dusk 2A.A.)
Remembrance Day
I cried today. I don't think I've ever been that sad before Diary. Stupid, poor Kasai.

He set off before the dawn today, without waking us up somehow. He left us a note, not that he needed seeing as we had already spoken about today. Larissa and I dressed in our most respectful clothes, myself in white and her in black as our traditions dictated. We set out for the Forest, to find our wayward Husbando. As we walked in, we could see small red flowers adorning each little tombstone or monument, a memory to each fallen soldier of TeeGee. Upon closer inspection though, we saw it wasn't just the graves of our soldiers being decorated, but the resting places of the enemy as well. Tears began to well up in my eyes as I realised what he was doing.

He wasn't honouring our fallen in war. He was honouring THE fallen of war.

We pressed onwards, and heard a sad sound as we delved deeper into the forest. The moans of a man broken are a terrible thing to hear, and even moreso when they belong to the man you love. Larissa and I broke into a clearing and saw a mournful sight.

>>20808877
I should also mention that the orc couple also were quite playful for each other, the female rather teasing and the male always found a time where his mate let her guard down to give her a slap with the flap of his blade to her rump. I am not sure what to make of this as I am not as well-versed in orc culture but they seemed a happy pair so I did not question them about it. Love remains still as inexplicable to me in this world as well. Which reminds me, I should send a letter to Cynthia to apologise but it's definitely not because I was thinking of her or anything.

--Journal of Bhikkhu Thai, mortal man

There you go gents, enjoy and yes I read the comments from the last thread so I'll try and improve. See you next thread.

>>20808885
This was the Elven Village, the final place of the first battle for TeeGee. Nothing stood, only the charred remains of the old town stood from where they had burnt it to the ground as a cold message to the rest of the Elves. In the center of it all, where the town square might have once been was a small white marble obelisk. Kasai was slumped before it on his knees, a flag of mostly blue with a strange red and white pattern in one corner and several stars over it draped over the monument with his hat atop it.

He was crying openly, great big heaving sobs. Larissa and I began to cry too, seeing our Husbando struck low by such memories that plagued him. We held hands and walked up to him, enveloping him in a hug. He melted in our embrace, he had nothing left.

We sat there for a long time, just hugging each other as he cried it all out. We waited, just being there for him. Kasai composed himself after a while, kissing us both to show he was okay. We didn't need to say anything, we all just felt each other and what would be done. Larissa and I helped him up and he retrieved his sabre from it's place in the dirt before the monument where he had stabbed the ground. He offered a salute to the flag before sheathing his sabre and picking up his hat and putting it on. Then with utmost reverence he folded his flag. Finished, he turned to us and spoke.

"Let's go home"