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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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you said something about me hiding my Sue traits the best. What do you mean by that?

My first and second stories were basically "Hi, I'm Sir Kasai, and I am Marty Stu himself! I get everything!"

I said nothing about compound bows being bad or anything. I just don't like them. I like going old school with those kind of things. Give me one and I'd still use it though.
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I think I accidentally made Alaric a bit of an anti-Sue; he's done nothing special.
>No enchanted gear
>No magic
>Biggest accomplishment was winning a fencing tournament; sliced his face on a blunted sword in the process.
>One Waifu
>Can't into useful skills besides dungeoneering/fighting

I need to think up something neat for the paranoia/abomination thing later this week.
You don't do it in a way that draws much attention to it and you balance it out with other things. Its kind of hard to explain. Basically when I read your story I never had to stop or roll my eyes. Also though those things happened there was no edgy, angst, or rainbows come out of my ass.
>complimenting each other on not sue'ing
>circlejerk namefag thread #21

Ahahahahaha... Ahahahahahaha... AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Hopefully a bit of redemption I had fun writing the next piece I put up. I'll put it up tomorrow.
Try writefag opinion on writefagging troll
Nah. Probably tonight because... yes.
Present Day

After saying goodbye to Shey I had left the house and began to go about the city. I shied away from most of the humans. I was starting to feel a little bad about that. I’d have to get past these prejudices if I were to find adventure. I sighed and began to look about. Little did I know I would see a familiar face as I wandered.
“Well I shouldn’t just get drunk.” I grumbled as I walked down the street.
“Well if it isn’t Miss Deja, the girl of the forest,” Said an oddly familiar voice. I turned around with a blank expression on my face.
“Well. The motherfucker’s still kicking.” I said with an amused smile. I tried hard not to back away from Sir Victor. He seemed to have grown a little. Stronger and maybe even a little wisdom was flashing in his eyes.
“Aye,” He said with a small laugh, “So you did decide to go to TeeGee.”
“Yes.” I said with a smile, “If one thing isolation doesn’t give you is very much fun.”
“I can see where you’re coming from.” He replied with a light nod of the head, “So how about I take the forest girl to go get a drink.”
“Please…” I interrupted quickly after he had mentioned it, “No alcohol today.” I tried to forget that he was human. I tried to get it in my head that these humans weren’t like the humans I normally encounter. The ones that look down at me, the ones who had mocked me. It was difficult.
He continued to look at me in an amused manner. “Well then how about we do something else? Perhaps play a game or something of the sort?” He suggested.
“Alright,” I sighed, trying hard not to show my hostility towards him. My hand twitched as he took hold onto it and pulled me through town.
“I’ll have to thank you for the help that day.” He said back to me, “It was one of my first days adventuring and I wasn’t good with the area.”
“You’re lucky you were in my land.” I replied with a snicker. Just forget he’s a human and things will be alright.
“Yes I was.” He said with a small grin. That afternoon I continued to stumble through trying to be nice to this man. There were plenty of things he had in common with me. We both had a thirst for adventure and an immense amount of curiosity. But I just couldn’t get over it.
“I still don’t understand it. I just don’t. You’re a human. Fair, you are a human from a different world but a human nonetheless. How are you not completely stupid and obnoxious?” I blurted out.
He raised an eyebrow at me, it was apparent I had offended him. “Excuse me?” He uttered, “This is what we’re trying to avoid, us knights. Is racism like this.” He huffed at me, “If you can’t deal with the fact that not all humans think the worst of you then you might as well go home.”
There was a ping of guilt as I sat there across his dining room table, staring at him. I looked down and began to play with the seam of my dress.
“I’m sorry. But that’s not right. You seem to hate that humans act as if you are scum of the earth and yet you stereotype them the same way.” He poked me in the nose and continued on, “Let me give you a little bit of TeeGee 101. Everyone here is equal. We all do what’s best for the country. We all put forth our best effort to make things right. Humans, Demons, Elves, Kanins, and Felims. You got that, honey?” He asked. There was a bitter aftertaste to his lecture.
“That was brutal.” I muttered. Trying to keep myself collected.
“Well, you deserved it. You were being a bitch.”
I growled at him at first and then bit my tongue. He was right when he said this. “Alright then. I was being a bitch.” I grumbled.
“Yes you were.” He said with a sigh, trying to calm down the moment.
“I’m… sorry.” I barely got out those two words.
“Work on that if you want to stay.” He muttered back at me. We sat there in silence, not even looking at each other for a few long moments and then he spoke again, “If you felt this way about humans why did you even help me?”
“I guess… I was wondering why you were there most of all. Turns out that was a rather… interesting story.”
“Well Miss Deja, despite your cruel words I’m afraid I’ve a debt I owe you.” He said, grabbing onto my hand. I still flinched at this. “Until I have either saved your life or you have believed my debt is paid I shall be here for you.”
“Are you sure about that?” I asked with the raise of an eyebrow.
“Indeed I am.” He pulled me closer to him and gave a nod.
“Alright then. First order of business, I wish to spar with you.”
“Huh?” He asked with the raise of an eyebrow.
“You heard me right. I want to spar with you. See how you’ve changed. It’s the best way possible.
We had gone out to his back yard where he had a decent lot of sparring equipment ready. There were some wooden swords so we didn’t end up injuring one another. I grabbed one similar to mine and he took one that seemed to have been specially made just so that he could spar with that massive sword of his.
“Three.” I whispered.
“Two.” He said with a lighthearted smile.
“One.” I said and that was when I jumped. I moved quickly through the air, never staying still. I ducked under an arcing swing he had taken.
There was no way I could block that. The sword was too heavy to block. It continued on much the same. There was a reason some people call fighting a dance. It goes on until one or the other makes a mistake. Ducking over large arcs I would advance on him and then he would back up right before I could strike. His amount of reach put me at a disadvantage. I had to be very careful. I had to be patient. Wait for an opening. Wait. Wait. Wait. Now! He made a mistake as he went to take a very heavy blow towards me. I jumped at the opportunity and…
I coughed as one of his knees hit me square in the chest and I was sent sprawling onto the ground, coughing up a little bit of blood.
“Are humans so stupid now Miss Deja?” he asked with a small grin.
I spit out some of the iron-flavored juices and continued to sit there. My pride had taken a blow at that moment. I didn’t think I could really get up. My eyes widened as he picked me up from the ground and slowly walked me back inside, sitting me down at the dining room table.
“Sit down and rest now.” He said with a small smile, “That little body of yours is fast but once you take a hit your out it seems.”
“Yeah.” I barely croaked out.
And with that I am off to bed gents.
I like victor, he fights smart. But I think he just killed Deja. Protip if coughing up blood seek emergency medical attention. All in all I think Deja is starting to come together as a character now. In my process this is when you start placing the char in odd spots and bouncing chars off one another.
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To be honest, you've built away from it. The whole Katana thing is still hilarious (even more hilarious since it's best as a cavalry sword against lightly armored targets), but you've managed to humanize him, even if he's still sorta goofy. I mean, there are different ways to make a powerful character less unrelatable. GearHeart, for example, takes it up the bum! Literally!

On a note related to the whole Castle guard buggery, this is the Castle Guard, the stone-cold boring standing military. They're not SAS, they're not Delta Force, they're not GROM or KSK, they're our NRFs. Nameless Rank and File.

Think of it like the US Army. There's the standard Army, a large standing force that are boots on the ground. These are our men-at-arms, our castle guard.

Then there's the Rangers, the Elite forces. These will likely be the only offensive focus fighters we have, our Dragoons. They're going to be working as a combination light cavalry/mounted infantry regiment, capable of fast deployment and attack. Entry requirements tend to be stricter since you must know both mounted and foot combat. There might be heavy cavalry-dedicated divisions like the Hussars, but those would fall under the command of the Men-At-Arms.

And then there's our Delta Force, the Blades. This is our clandestine, black ops, OPERATORS OPERATING, truly asymmetric fighting force. They're run by Sir Dustyn and drawn from the best people for the job. I like the idea of nicknaming them the NRFs because Nameless is what they're supposed to be. They ride without heraldry in blued armor, and that's just the way they're supposed to be.

Ignore him or politely sage~ It's not like he's writing anything anyway.

Well I'll give you one thing, you sure write fast. Better than I can say, and English is my native language!
Bad bite to the tongue or cheek, maybe a tooth got knocked out?
Apologies. Perhaps I wrote it a bit more brutal than it actually was.
And I've been working on that since you guys gave me the constructive criticism
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>>20953898 For part may be tmi
Funny you should mention that, I happened to lose a bet with earlier 'Lilly'
>Lilly's face when
My face is more of an OH GOD RUN! But I don't have a good pic for that

Possible but the description is off. I am just making sure Deja knows that this ain't animu land where shit like that is common and no big deal.
Nah, just say she bit her tongue with the knee to the gut. Those thing can bleed pretty bad at first. It was much better. Your style leaves a good deal to be desired, but considering that you're not used to the English language and its varied subtleties, it's understandable.

My primary suggestion on that front is to separate your paragraphs with a line like you'll find in my writing. It makes more difficult writing easier to read since you're not getting lost in all the words around it.

Animu land? That place where even paper cuts result in geysers of blood?
I was thinking more bleach, naruto, and the like where they constantly seem to taking injuries that should kill you but walk it off like nothing.

That too. And even small injuries in can result in losing far more blood that the human body con possibly contain.
You know, I've kind of been wondering if I should do more combat-related stories with Lem, but I for the life of me have no idea what situation (beyond hunting his nemesis, Sir Styx the Mad) where Lem would fight anything. He does his damnedest to set his cards where he doesn't have to fight anyone if he doesn't have to. I don't think he's the type to back down when he has to fight, but I keep getting this sneaking suspicion that he's a conditional coward.
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Ah home, it’s a great place to be. Don’t get me wrong, I love adventuring and dungeon delving, but it’s just so nice to wake up in your own bed. Mine happened to be a bit south east of the main city, in some land we cleared for the sake of crops. We split the land up # style, with eight families getting a piece of land to work, and then all eight working the center piece together to serve as taxes. We had most of these things set up right next to a river with some basic canals for water. The whole thing flooded in summer too, which is actually a good thing since it washes away excess minerals and prevents salt build up. Main crop on my little hunk of land was Ana’s newly blossoming apple trees (that reminds me, I still need to talk to someone about getting a brewery set up)(further side note, if you plan to grow something, live next to a dryad, they make everything within about a mile of them grow faster just by being around), though we still had a green house for Kari’s herbs. Most of the medicinal plants were grown in the communal plot, so a good hunk of the ones in our greenhouse were used more to help with energy and vitality, though most of them ended up getting sold to Lilly’s store, didn’t get quite as much money as when someone showed up desperate for something, but I was tired of getting woken up at three a.m. by people that don’t understand the concept of normal business hours. Of course I still had my official lodgings in the city, but since you can’t really grow anything within city walls and I don’t like crowds, I rarely used it. Most of the time I let it Tanash use it as a place to keep the “travelers” he brought home.
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Today was going to be a good day, and I needed a good day. While Ana was recovering from her demon infected arm wound I didn’t want to travel, just in case anything happened, and I was getting a little pent up. I didn’t like that I let a Capra get away, and the council was waiting on more info before making a move. However, since whatever was down there had a Capra demon guarding it, our scouts could only really make sure no one went in or out. Still, today was going to be a good day, I had a surprise for the new recruits. With Ana staying home to rest and tend to her trees, and Rydia already in the city (she’s started sleeping at her bank, says she smells another dragon), I gave Everest a bowl of food, and then Kari and I headed to the city. It was a nice walk, I don’t get to talk to Kari alone as much as I do my other two waifus, despite her being my first, and she always seemed to know what was going on in the city, and who was getting together with who. Thankfully she said that Lilly had been settling down and behaving more, which is good since not everyone can have anti demon runes put on their house or have their helm enchanted to prevent mind reading. Still she was legitimately trying to do good (in her own way), so I’m glad. Kari and I split ways after we entered the castle. She headed off to Harbinger’s for one of her lessons (I don’t know what he teaches, I don’t want to know, all I know is her medical skills have improved significantly) and I headed off to see Gary about having my armor lined with that always cold silk that was found in the north. After dropping my armor off I headed across town for the recruits. Felt somewhat naked without my armor, but at least I could pull off the Kimblee look real well.
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Crossing town I managed to (easily) spot Nappa and had a quick chat with him. Wait, Ernie isn’t Snorlax’s real name. What is Bulk’s real name? Reginald the Mountain, that was Cream’s real name. Fuck I haven’t called Snoopy that in so long I almost forgot. Anyway, we had a quick chat; I couldn’t stay, as I had places to be. I continued through town until I reached the training fields, where tarps were still concealing my latest creation. Kasai stopped me, saying that since the fields were going to be used for official training that civilians weren’t allowed in. Dear Gods, I really need to get out of my armor more if my fellow knights don’t even recognize me without it. Honestly if I weren’t still carrying my spear it would have taken a lot longer to convince him of my identity. Actually, no one knowing who I am could work out if the Council ever needs a spy in the city. Anyway, after Kasai gave his speech (holy damn he’s good at talking) I stepped forward and gave a little one of my own.
“At ease, you can go ahead and relax the next few minutes, your Gods know you won’t be getting any for the next few hours. Armor will not protect you from all attacks. This spear”, I said as I held mine up, “is made of adamantine. Its blade will cut clean through all but the strongest armors, and there are a number of other weapons out there that can get through armor as well, even if they are simple steel. Today you will all be trained in your agility, your ability to predict, deflect, and dodge attacks. And the single greatest way of learning how to not get hit is to have the crap beaten out of you. People always learn faster when getting something wrong means getting hurt.” Ah the lessons learned by having an older sister.
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That’s when I had the tarps dropped. I’m not sure if any of the Outrealmers ever watched the show Wipeout, but for those that didn’t or anyone of this world, it’s basically just watching a bunch of people run through obstacle courses, except that these obstacle courses had parts that could move (walls swinging forward, poles coming out of the floor, trapdoors, mud pits, even got Prescilla to make a sheet of ice over part), and had people controlling the moving part actively trying to beat the shit out of the people running the course. This is what I had the gnomes build, and this is what I had the troops run through. I started by having them all strip their armor and go through in nothing but bare basic clothes, and I told them that there was a one hour time limit, and that any that didn’t make it through would be stuck on latrine duty for a week. Fortunately for them, all of them made it through in under an hour, though most were sore in more than one place. Unfortunately for them, I told them to use what they learned by putting on their armor and running the course again with the same rules. Not all of them made it that time. Next up was having them all get back down to normal clothes, giving them each a shield and a bamboo practice sword (still don’t know where the hell we got those) and having them pair off and beat on each other while trying to either dodge or deflect their partner’s attack, switching sparring partners every five minutes. I even joined in myself to get them a bit more motivated, and considering I walked out with a few bruises myself I think it worked. I’m not going to lie, by the end of the day most of these guys were pretty damn bruised but I saw real progress in how they moved, they were learning to read their opponents. I think my lessons were taking. Though considering how much I enjoyed watching our men get beaten to a pulp I think I may be turning into a horrible person.

You could just be sparring with someone, things like that. No need to out hunting for actual danger.
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After the training I started to make my way home. I stopped by the bank first to see if Rydia would be coming back, which she wouldn’t, still didn’t trust leaving the gold alone. Since she wasn’t coming back we had a quick chat about our days before I parted with a kiss. From there I headed to the castle infirmary to find Kari and we went home together, thankfully getting out of there before any of the recruits managed to stumble their way in and make her stay. I may have downplayed the seriousness of my training, she’d find out tomorrow anyway and there was no reason to ruin a good evening. After getting my armor back from Gary, a quick stop at the Rogue Trader for a to-go dinner, and a relaxing walk home, we met back up with Ana retired for the night. Home, you have got to love it, I sure do, even if the house isn’t a giant mansion and my family isn’t the biggest. Oh yea, family size, that reminds me. I should probably mention that I found out I’m sterile. Turns out that barrel that unsocketed my leg during the ork attack messed up some other stuff down there too. Not really a big deal though, even in the Old World I was in favor of adoption, and we get more than our fair share of orphans and runaways coming to TeeGee after hearing the stories of the knights. Ah, I’ll think about this another time, now I’m going to go cuddle up with my waifus.
and now i realize i didn't have my name on
And know I realize that I need to write more stories about GearHeart as Lilly is way more popular. But I'm finishing a KIDS story.
heheh. Did you think that English isn't my native language? I'm afraid it is so I just slipped up a little on the details. She did in fact bite her tongue. I was focusing a bit more on the blow to her ego than the details of her actual wound.
And I have Dain Bramage.
Oh, that must have been someone else then. Right, if that's the case, here's a tip: after you've written your piece in Word or Google Docs, reread it aloud to yourself. This will highlight all the awkward phrasings and grammar slip-ups you make because they don't sound natural when you say them aloud. This should improve your readability and style significantly.

Also avoid idioms if possible. "Little did I know" is the lamest idiom EVER. Don't use it unironically if you can help it.

>Junpei Motoko
Man, captcha is pretty weeaboo tonight.

Hm... What if the two dragons meet?
as long as Rydia's thinks her horde (bank, personal stash, and family) isn't going to be touched she's willing to have other dragons around, it's when a new one shows up that she gets territorial. and considering i'm writing well after the volleyball thing at this point she's used to kuro
>Rydia's thinks
damn typos
If they met during the volley ball incident then I think its safe to say that they are not just used to each other but also have a unique bond.
was volleyball on festival day 1, 2, or 3? we weren't there for the first two

#1. And you killed my idea... I'm sad now.
Obvious fix another Volleyball tournament after the festival.
i can see practice before to teach the people of this world the rules of volleyball
It was in one of the first two I think.

Aside from that, anyone have a response to >>20954204 ?

I'm not actually going to do anything just yet, I was just curious if anyone had any good ideas I could leap off of.

The image is signed Nekoguchi. Don't fumble your spot checks when you can just take twenty!

I think that might be stretching things.
Nah see the volleyball was a big hit so they started a league.
There's already one here >>20954292
A league of two.
Daddys Little girl. Birth of Destiny. 5AA

“Its been to long, really they should have been done by now.” I said to my self nervously.

I was pacing about out side the door of one of the bedrooms. I had taken every step I could now it was out of my hands, I hate it when things are out of my hands.

“Please don't let anything go wrong.”

Lilly was there comforting her, Meina hadn't want me there during the time. Said it was bad luck. Understandable, doesn't mean I have to like it.

A midwife slowly opened the door.

“Congratulations, father. She needs to rest, a couple days or two and she'll be fine. Your daughter is beautiful.”

I nearly fell to my knees, I was a father. I'm to young to be a father, I'm only twenty-five. I made my way into the room, each step taken as if I could set off a mine any second. There where the loves of my life, all three of them. Lilly was sitting on the edge of the bed, singing a beautiful melody. Meina was in the bed, blankets wrapped up around her. And in her arms, swaddled in cloth was the cutest little girl I had ever seen.

“So Meina, did you finally pick a name?”

“It came to me, Destiny. For hers is bright.”

“Bit ghetto for my tastes, but I'll respect your wishes. But I reserve the right to give her a cute nickname.”

“James, its a nice name. Even if where you come from, its a bit slutty.”

“You two, her name is Destiny and that's final.” Meina said with fire.

“Ok, Meina. Lilly when you have one you and me will pick the name together. Hows that sound.”

“I like it, but I think Meina should get a vote. Even if she didn't let us have one.”

Meina handed me Destiny.

“I'm a little tired.” She said and then she nodded off.

Leaving me holding my daughter. I can't describe the feelings I felt. Neaverous, Proud, Scared. Lilly was leaning up against me.

“I'm worried I won't make a good parent. I mean technically I'm not her parent, but I just don't want to be a bad influence. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she doesn't end up like me.”

“I believe it. I believe in you and Meina. And I swear that I'll protect her from hell it's self.”

And then the cute little girl in my arms burped a jet of flame. I dropped her and fumbled to catch her. I caught her but now I was going over. Lilly caught me with her tail when I was just inches from the ground.

“Lilly what the blueblazes did you do!”

“I don't know. They never told me of anything like this. What do we tell Meina?”

“Lilly, normally I would back you against anything. But this time your on point. I'll be there, but your taking this one.”

“Oh boy, you know its bad when the brave Sir GearHeart runs from danger.”

“The only thing that scares me is your sex drive and Meina's wrath.”

“Well at least I have 'till she wakes up.”
Just a short bit on GearHearts first kid. Also answered a question that some were asking about the sex story.
considering that normal pregnant women get sore when their baby kicks, i feel very sorry for meina

So kinky succubus sex ends with demonic children even if you don't knock up the succubus. This is interesting.
I love wipeout, you can write in that you had my approval for it.
I would say GeraHeart going to Hell probably had something to do with it too.
Herp Derp that was me.

Open question: What should my next story be? I'll be home in a few hours and ready to write.
All shall be revealed over a series of short stories and one I'm reworking. But the baby looks like a normal Holistuari
That's what I've been trying to figure out. I'm presuming people want me to do sexy time, which I'm sort of brainstorming, particularly with regards to the perspective of the narrative. I'm tempted to make it a literal fly on the wall. Who may or may not have telepathic powers.

Anyone wanna play fly on the wall while I write? Realtime feedback is amazingly effective.
lilly has mind reading, and considering she's the one that got you together i'd say it's fitting
If you're gonna write sexytimes, write similar to GearHeart, put it on a google doc and go.

Perhaps, you could write teh first "Romantic Date" Lem and Kikki go on. Flowers, A nice bottle of red, all the spaghetti for Lem's pockets (Or perhaps Kikki?) and a small bowl of icecream to share.

A psychic fly? Why not just write it from Lem's or Kikki's PoV?
No, Lilly's a good succubus~

Am doing. Which is why I wanted to know if anyone wanted me to send them a link so they could watch as I wrote it.

Because first person can get wanky, really fast.

I'll take your word for it.
yes she's a good succubus, which is why she needs to make sure you're doing things right. she's there to offer advice not to spy

I actually pity the character. Hypothetically if I were in the same situation of not wanting kids, I'd at least like to keep my options open for later.
it's not that i don't want kids, it's that i'd rather help out someone that needs it than add to the population, ie adoption
Fair enough.
I can haz linky?
You could write it as Lilly "accidentally" picks up the memory as Kikki is practically broadcasting it after the fact.
Also toss me the link. I want to see how you avoid my fuck ups
Don't think I have your email.

Just starting now after midnight snack. May end early, however.
you would have to have, we've sent emails before. There you go anyways, I'll be home in an hour.
Before you say anything, I know. I know it was a bad idea. I Knew it was probably going to be a bad idea whilst it was in progress.

But i had to see if it could be done. I'm known in certain circles for my obsession now anyway, and at the time, i thought i could make it work.
Wolves for the Wolftime, Wolves for the Wolf Throne?

That title I loled
it was around the same time as i was working on the Hellcannon. the large scale 'Earthquaker' shells had proved far too costly to produce and were far too unstable to be of any use, and the magic involved in making a confined, directional explosion similar to a gunpowder charge was my last hope, though it was not much better in terms of cost.

My freinds had all gone off to start families or other endeavors, and without their visits, the flames of my desire to create cannon like artillery burned with the intensity of a man quickly coming to the last chance to achieve his lifes work, and i grew desperate.
When Life gives you Lemons, you use them as High Explosives!

I'm Cave Johnson, and I approved this message.
We 're done here folks

I built a second Steel Carriage, larger and more heavily armored than the first, claiming that it was for larger groups and cargo too precious to be transported in anything but by what was now pretty much a tank.

propulsion power had scarcely increased, so it was even slower than its predecessor, moving at somewhere between walking and jogging pace.

but inside a cradle i had built specifically for the purpose, this carriage held two smaller, Demi Cannon sized cannons, with a breech loading system i had seen back in the old realm, where the breech could be opened, closed and locked much like a bolt action rifle.

the firing system required a magically infused crystal to power the explosion per shot. Costly in both time and financial cost, i was able only to procure fourty crystals, with ten used in testing.

it left me with fifteen shots per cannon, not even enough to start a war, i thought to myself.
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I didn't know I was this popular. Thanks, GearHeart!

Incidentally, I have a thing coming. Not the hack writer, but something. There MIGHT be a bit of canon muckery, but nothing too serious.
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A slow moving hooded man walks in front of castle waifu hands an envelope to a castle serf. Before disappearing in a cloud of rancid smoke the hooded man said in a raspy voice "Deliver this to your masters."

To Whom it may concern,

Hey guys how's the weather up there? Are you fuckers still alive? I think i manage to solve our Demon Lord problem. She's gonna be busy taking care our kids. Sorry it took me long to send a letter. Tell that cock mongler Iris, Thank you for giving me that cursed sword. Hope you guys are ok.

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I'm still trying to come up with ones for the others also need to fix/make better version of fluffy's

Demon Lord is a dude. Also pic related
This should go to >>20956695
A few years back i had run into a small, walled slaver villiage, unaffiliated with any of the major nations but trading in flesh and coin to all.

...i attempted to save several slaves, they tried to kill me, it was all pretty much par for the course.

well, until the Lemon Ruse, the name to which i had given my self propelled, breechloading double barreled cannon...which probably sounds more high tech than it was, rolled over a dune, its two barrels pointed in their direction.
Hey now, don't disrespect!

There are probably many runaway Demons who fancy themselves tough stuff. Hence the many Demon Kings and Lords, despite the One Lord system and the War Among Stars.

On another note, I am rather disappointed that no one has mentioned the most Marty-Stuest thing of all!
A book that can overturn civilisations! How much more gratifying can you get?! Amirite?

But no mention of the Industrial Revolution in the Underdark, really?
There very well could be but I think any that rise up get crushed by the big man. I really need to write this crap up.
In my studies of demons I have been fascinated by the figure they call The Demon Lord. Never is he called by anything else. There are other demons who claim to be kings, lords, ladies, and queens. But only one holds power. Legends say that he is the god and father of Demon kind. That he started the war between the gods and demons for his own amusement. That he killed off his creations and remade them in the image of his liking. He gave birth to a son who would come to be called Outcast. Who I have met three times in battle. Claims to have been given birth by Lilith the first succubus. Also says that The Demon Lord brought her back to life to serve as his toy.

The Demon Lord is supposed to stand seven feet tall. He wears a suit of black and red. He wears a simple fedora, his hair of flame jutting out from underneath. All that can ever be seen of his face the gilt of light off of glasses and his red teeth. He talks in a smooth voice never with any variation. He prefers the power of words over all others. He keeps order though setting others against others. In his hands he wields a wooden cane with golden adornments and radiates magic.
Note to self, stick to killing Capras and Bull demons. They ain't exactly fancy, but they're the bread and butter of sulphur gathering, even if they are kinda rare.

Maybe something like the stray demon or demon firesage would work though.
The ranking goes like this weakest to strongest.
>Demons of rank and file
>Monstrous Demons
>War Demons
>True Demons from the old age
>The Five
> The Demon Lord.
Wow! Do you see that everyone?

Four whole slots need filling!

I'll get cracken...
Though of course thats a guide line and not fixed

Also that's intonational I want people to make up some more big bads.
So would Capras and Bulls fit in a rank and file, monstrous, or war demons?

I'd guess R&F since they aren't particularly massive, but the term war demon seems to imply either dedicated warriors or something more akin to the collosi from Warmachine.

On a possibly related note, what's the word on cursed weapons? Do they have any set trade-off/benefits, or is it a make-it-up-as-you-go basis?
I would put them under monstrous. And yes think colossi from warmachine for war demons. Rank and file is anything thats weaker than a monster but stronger than an imp

Cursed Items are a make up as go thing so far there was a story about a knight who was given a cursed magic belt. It turned him into a woman
Sorry, I forgot to put my *facade tag on.

Its just that with the Sue/Stu discussion early on in the thread, followed by (what seems) to be a power measuring contest-

Its more The Stig/Norris levels of threat (that is to say, mostly legend) than something more threatening but subtle as a world-scale war.

I mean, you just have to kill one Demon Lord, but how do you stop an entire world at war?

This post belongs in /pol/ or something like that, actually...
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My liege,

I send you this message because, after long years of study, I may have finally figured out the source of the Abysswalker’s powers. To better explain, I shall start from the beginning and one of his quests before his battle with the abyss.

He was hired by a wizard some decades ago to traverse a painting and retrieve the wizard’s apprentice, who had been sucked into it. While the exact story of what happened there is uncertain, it is clear that he left the painting with the apprentice and some draconic half-breed and was rewarded by the wizard with a number of enchantments on his armor. While the wizard himself was dead at the time of my investigation, I did manage to track down the apprentice and had him recount the enchantments made to the armor. Most of them were just minor cantrips, heat regulation, darksight, and a few others, none of them particularly powerful. It should be noted that his greatsword and shield, both fine constructs of an adamantine alloy, received no enchantments and he noted that, aside from their inscriptions, they seemed wholly unremarkable at the time.

It was not until after he fought the creatures of the abyss that his renowned combat skills started to manifest, perhaps a result either of corruption from fighting the creatures or even a deal struck with them. Either way, it was noted by a few accounts that his armor was much shinier before his encounter with those creatures, which also points towards him being corrupted. He also seemed to be wearing a ring after that point, most unusual since he is often noted as wearing his wedding bands on a chain around his neck. His comment to the soldiers he passed on his way out of the doomed city of Anor Londo also strikes many as weird, something about walking through a valley of death, but many at the time passed it off as simply the ramblings of a madman.
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While many would speculate that it was only because of this event that bards started to take enough interest in him to start taking note, but a closer observation shows that it was more than likely a result of this event that he could do any of the things he was known for.

The next notable event is the little-known killing of a fellow knight named Tarkus in what is known locally as the cavern of demons. It was after this that the berserker’s rage, a feat he is known to have exhibited on more than one occasion, started to manifest. His sword, in all likelihood, was infested, likely with a demon of some kind.

Where does his greatshield come into this, you wonder? The answer to that lies in the ruins of Anor Londo. The city was famously destroyed by the denizens of the abyss and was put to the flame, but a few notes recovered before the fires swept through indicate that the city’s mage college was trying to find ways either to control or cleanse the power of the abyss. The methods are a bit unclear, as most of the notes were either unintelligible or ruined beyond recovery, but it is my belief that he found a way to infuse his shield with some of this magic and uses it as a way to control his condition.

This is all just theory, of course, but I hope it is sufficient to satisfy your inquiry. I have also included a package with my research notes on this investigation.

Sir Gustavus Magnus, Curator of the Royal Library.

-a letter intercepted by the blades
I'm going to blame being really tired but I did not get a word of that.
Looks like Lord Artorias, the Abysswalker.
Never mind then.

Get some sleep. I know how hard it is to think when very very tired.
>they seemed wholly unremarkable at the time
And if you buy that.

If only you knew how much I wanted to and circumstances
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Alright, I have finished it. I am satisfied with it. Tell me what you think and if I lived up to the hype. I am so tired, I shall sleep now. I might post it in the next thread if people like it enough and think it's pure enough even if it IS erotica, but this is my first piece I've written for more than just a thought exercise. Constructive criticism is always handy.

Without further ado:

Was it worth it?
If by losing to "Lilly" then yes. If you mean your story that was as added bonus
One of the downsides of eyewitnesses is that they aren't always that bright.

Well, off to work for me.
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You know what I mean. Only time I'm a betting man is when I'm okay with both outcomes. Looks like you're the same. *brofist*

Now if you'll excuse me, I must collapse.

Ok working my way through this. I don't see the power measuring contest, but if your referring to the guide line for demon toughness its not supose to be a contest. We've been trying to get some real enemies going for a while and I think a stupidly powerful evil god would work.

If your saying that the Demon Lord comes off as Stig/Norris then good I was trying to draw some from that whole legends of greatness and nobody knows the truth.

And as to the Sue/Stu discussion that was just trying to help britfag that got out of control
That's fine, just wanted to know what you were trying to do with it.
The town was in flames, and I grabbed my telescope, to get a better look at what was happening.
Demons! the townsfolk, slaves, masters and all others seemed to be dead, and the Demonic forces were in the process of sacking the town.
It was perfect from a testing point, but I handed the telescope to Dorf Dorffinsson as i lent over the side, my lunch spilling onto the sand as my disgust at the sight before me overpowered me.

Dorf directed his fellows and the twin barrels tilted skywards, blast crystals and cannonballs loading into the twin breeches, before with a deafening roar, the Lemon Ruse shuddered and spat out two massive steel balls, which slammed down into the town square, dorf cried out in elation, telling me that one of the cannonballs had slammed home, turning a Rank and File Demon commander's torso into paste.
but even as i retreived the secondary telescope, the Dwarves had fired a second salvo, twin steel balls of around 14.5 Kilos screamed towards the Demonic force now making its way towards us, a great big, angry looking bastard leading them with an axe that was almost as big as the carriage.

To say i was shitting bricks would be an understatement.

"Target that big fucker!" I screamed, diving for the drivers seat, reaching it as the Cannons fired once more, where the last two shots had missed the gigantic greater Demon, these two punched huge holes in his brass chestplate, punching out the back before scything through the demons behind.

But still, it was like trying to put out a bushfire with a water pistol.
We had to get out of there, and fast.
I powered the engine and pulled hard on the drive levers, sending the Carriage shuddering backwards down the dunes, but the Demons were gaining, cresting the hill we had just been sitting on as we fired a fourth salvo, this time one of the balls caught the Greater Demon full in the face, its head dissapearing under the impact, its headless corpse falling to the ground.

but still the Demons leaped over the corpses of their fallen, baying in eagerness to spill our blood.
"fuck you, fuck you! FUCK YOU!" i screamed every curse and crude word i could think of as the Demons closed, we fired a fifth, and a sixth salvo before it looked as though they would overrun us.
it was time to test the special shot.
two thin wooden canisters, each filled with around a hundred smaller balls, a sort of canister shot.

"Fire the canister shot! i screamed, but the Dwarves were a step ahead of me, the short range shot already having been loaded into the Demi Cannons.

The guns roared, and all i saw out of the drivers viewport was smoke, but even as it cleared and we saw that we had annihilated the closest demons, mauled those behind them, but the last part of the horde stumbled through their devestated compatriots, i heard the sound of warhorns, and a group of armored men mounted on what looked like camels rode past the carriage, moving between us and the demons, their curved swords glittering in the sun as they rose and fell, the blades cutting through flesh and bone with equal ease.

and then it was over. almost.
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So, I'm thinking of writing a story about Olin (and the rest of his union) being dragged along to one of the first meetings with the Coininoch. I already have some details in mind, but I'd like some extra opinions to make sure I'm not stepping on anyone's toes.

I don't have any appropriate pictures, so have this instead.
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And because I'm sleepy, I forgot to mention something. If you're writing or plan to write Coininoch stuff and want to work things out with me, email me.
One thing did tick me a bit when I went to check the archives was that there was no mention of the reveal of the Underdark.

I craft an elaborate Drider clan structure without spotlights?!

I will make my next story twice as memorable!

Prepare for lovable laughable illithids!

So that's how it feels to be a Hollywood Diva.
On a more serious note, I am actually writing about the squid heads[/spoilers]
I really liked the Drider stuff, actually. Of course, I still have to read this thread. That'll have to wait until I wake up, though.

Gah. Normal people have not thought "Oh, the sun's coming up. I should probably go to bed."
And you guys are still going. Good for you.

The fly. Oh god the fly.
I really have to write more... I came up with the Coininoch, I should be the one to flesh them out... You guys go ahead. I never finish anything.

At least I'm trying to re-do what I've written thus far... Think I'll just post it up on Google docs, rather than spam up the thread again.
I never thought I'd see a Blues Brothers manga...
I'm telling ya, man. don't rebuild, build on what you have. Even if it's not what's ideal, it will actually make you a better writer in the end if you can work from difficulty to make something great.

So everyone enjoyed my bit of erotica then? I can see Fluffy had fun. You lot better have, I missed my first class for that shit.
No, I feel I owe it to do as good a job as I possibly can. If you can't get something perfect, or as close as you know you can get, it's shameful to show it to others, or so I think. I'm not going to be satisfied until I think something's perfect and if you folks can still point out flaws, I know it's not!
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I'm similar, but at the same time I know I'm not going to be getting everything perfect, so I either adjust fire to avoid my weaker areas, hence why I don't do much dialogue and keep most of my stuff fairly nondescript, or I just accept the fact and drive on.
Nah, I'm just being melodramatic

With that attitude, you're guaranteed to fail. Writing isn't an exact science and sometimes flaws can make a piece greater than it would be without. Don't shy away from your mistakes, own them and learn from them. Much like you can't get real life perfect, you shouldn't try and get writing perfect. Write and learn, that's the best you can do. Don't presume otherwise. Your style and form is already there, build on your content.
Like Lilly in my stories. I was never going to go in to the details in my story 'till I forgot what I was doing in one story.

It's some sweet vanilla, lovely stuff really. But the fly, the fly is hilarious.
Bit of a relief after the succubus one. Much closer to my tastes.
Like I've said countless times succubi are not for everyone. And as such the stories of her sex life are also not for everyone. Kink ain't for the weak of stomach or heart. And it's also a bit much for me
Didn't say it was bad, just not quite my cup of tea, but then I'm boring like that.
And I didn't mean to imply that you said it was bad.
Neither are quite what I'm looking for.
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I can't think straight....

I'm a bit torn on what route to take now...I can either expand on the mess in Anor Londo with the Abyss, which is going to require I shift gears a bit, or I could add to the ideas of what all demons might be encountered in some ruins or caverns, possibly something like Kellog here.
Wouldn't this be better on another board? What does any of this have to do with traditional games?

I mean not to be an ass, but this just seems like a creative writing circlejerk, which is fine, but it seems like it'd be more at home on /a/ or something? Is there some specific reason why this is /tg/?

Wizard transports you to fantasy land with whatever you're carrying at the time.
>Wat do?

That's why.
It's an exercise in world building, character building, and role playing, which is all board specific to /tg/. I'm actually using a lot of this lore in a pathfinder game I'm running.

/a/ would have none of this, as this is the result of a "WAT DO". Why don't you read back in the archives and see if you don't get some ideas for your own campaign? I'm much happier when we have more people to add and give fresh ideas, but having people benefit and be inspired to borrow is just as satisfying.
I vote demons I could use the help fleshing them out.
This is why I'm wary of the world Waifu. Just because we use it doesn't mean this has any connection to /a/. Also story time is a long honored tradition of /tg/. In short don't be a new fag
People made the same arguments about quest threads and the end result was the mods told them all to just go here.

As was mentioned, it's a worldbuilding exercise. The only other board you could argue it could go on would be /lit/, but looking through the first page tells me that might not be a great idea.

I can work with that. Time to put on the headphones, put on some Sabaton, and get to writing.
/lit/ is and always has been a wasteland of crap.
This shit is worse than the Unified Setting was. And more pathetic.
And it's no-fun fuckers like you that shit those threads up. We're getting shit done. How about you?

Second on those demons. Make sure to put some Gregorian chant in that playlist, sets a somber mood.

Like Eilfen Lied?
Its still better than Modern Fantasy roleplay

Yeah, you are getting shit done. Literally. Unfortunately, shitting all over /tg/ is not an achievement to be proud of.

As for me, being anonymous, I could take credit for all sorts of things /tg/ has achieved, but I'll just say that I've done more than my fair share of world building and contributed to a lot of /tg/ content that was actually good and not shit. Feel free to enjoy your masturbatory fantasy though, by all means, but don't expect all of /tg/ to salute it.
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You know since these are just names we use in this thread technically we are also anon. I drop the name when not here. And I've worked on plenty of other things over the years.

Theres a difference between this and most of hte quest threads I've read though. Quest threads tend to have some semblance of "game" to them. There's usually one guy running it, like a GM. Hareem Knights just seems ot be a bunch of guys writing fiction. In a shared setting. I've not read most of the stuff in these threads, I've skimmed some of it now and again, but do you guys ever have any conflicts with each other? I gather from the name it's all about monster anime hareem stuff, so do you ever fight over women, or anything else? How is that handled?


Well the word "waifu" the whole focus on having a hareem, the constant anime pictures of monster girls, etc. It's very obviously influenced heavily by anime as a whole. Which isn't really a bad thing, but it is pretty obvious
Disputes are mostly handled by just talking over it. The timeline is loose and stories jump all over, so keeping to canon is no big deal most of the time.
Ah, silly troll. You must have some deep seated issues with other people having fun in an area separate from your own.

It's best described as a shared setting, similar to 40k in a sense. Aside from a few cameos and joint works everyone's stuff is independent of everything else except for what bits others want to include.

As for the waifus and anime influences, this started as a joke over someone's comment in another thread about rubbing elf ears, and there's not exactly alot of non-animu pictures we can draw from.

On the plus side, I don't think I've written this much on anything since college.
I don't think you've even read any of this. Also I would use non anime pics but 4chan as a whole tends to be against western art. And the pic that I do have that fit are not work safe. Also just for you I'll start a rivalry with someone else.
They say you have to be crazy to use magic.

I was crazy before I even arrived here.

Well, crazy isn't really the word they use most often, but it doesn't make it any less true. I am crazy, that special blend of insane and sane sprinkled with a touch of vicious intelligence that makes magic possible. The first years didn't help. Maxed out Int and Wis, worst Con score ever. I lost my pinky and ring finger of my left hand and a few toes to frostbite. I saved my right hand though. Which, in retrospect, was probably proof of being crazy since the chances of having paper and pencil to spare were slim to none in the world we found ourselves.

I live on tea, quite literally. Pump enough tannins and ephedra-substitute in me, and I breathe like a normal person as long as I don't exert myself. I leave the warfare and combat to the knights, despite how much I admire swordplay and martial arts. I teach some of the most basic things to those who want to learn but can't or won't join the militia. Despite the mocking of the much despised katana, there is one thing about the weapon that has become very useful – it is very easy to teach the basics of its use to anyone. Staff, spear, chain, and katana or wooden sword, and tai chi for those with the curiosity and patience to join me, I like to think that teaching people the basics of self defense will help when the next war-mongering horde comes to our doorstep. Surprise is a hell of a weapon.

It's a pretty lie I tell myself when I lie in bed wondering what the fuck I'm doing with my life here.
I'm no master of weapons, mind you, just a clever dabbler without the stamina to use what I know. With the loss of the medications that kept me breathing well, I fell back into older habits – meditation, constant use of liquid stimulants in the form of tea and chicory coffee, augmented by the occasional nightshade-substitute found by a Felim medic for me to use in emergencies - in order to maintain some semblance of normalcy. And from there stumbled into magic.

There are a few of us who have the talent or madness required for magic. Most of us are of the two more simple kinds, Sensate and Drunk-Casting. I have some very minor talent for the Autist's magic, but I am a Sensate. Unlike most Sensates I have a few fields I have branched into, largely because of my deities-damned-lungs and a stronger than normal kinesthetic memory. Some people have a photographic memory; I have a tactile one. Which isn't as much fun as it sounds, really. You can't wipe out the unpleasant with the pleasant, I learned. The hard way.

But all this is merely prologue, because knowing where one comes from leads to understanding how one ends up. Ending up as I did, well, it was as much a surprise to me as being sucked into a frigid, wilderness-locked fortress because I happen to like monstergirls.
I support myself by making careful forays into the Frozen Wastes. The Fey of this world are not really all that different from the legends of home, save that they're far more testy. As long as you follow the RULES you can be relatively safe. By “relatively” I mean lucky as all hell to come away with something of value. Learning the RULES is the hard part, but the Kanin are fairly knowledgeable in that regard. Naturally, as with the legendary faeries of home, the RULES always have exceptions and some are required to be broken. “Always forbidden, on occasion mandatory” is a common one.

The arrow that I'd brought back last time was called Unillfletched, and it was the only arrow an archer would ever own, so long as he never purchased or made another arrow for himself. Gifts, apparently, didn't count against it, as long as the archer never used the gift arrows and only used Unillfletched. While it was the only arrow he would ever own, it would be the only arrow he'd ever ~need~ for it would return to its quiver at once upon inflicting injury or falling to the ground. Getting it stuck in something not harmed was different and you'd have to fetch it back, but for a hunter it was a priceless arrow. I sold it for a double (whole) handful of silver coins and a portion of each kill the hunter made with it. It's not like I can use a bow, damn it.

Not a bad trade for teaching a pair of trolls how to play cat's cradle, on the other hand.
Today was a sitting day. I was out by the well near the market place, sitting on a pile of rocks which had been left over from one construction project or another, and would eventually get used in others. The thick wool blanket (which always made me wonder if there were sheep-girls out there, who had shaving fetishes) folded up a few times kept me from bruising my bony rear. I would sit, and work on the Tarot Cards I was painstakingly carving and inking by hand, maybe throw the I-Ching for passers by, and answer questions put to me by various people, both esoteric and nonsensical alike. I was, I suppose, something of a local sage, though I'd never have the long white beard. My knowledge of various arcane and mundane subjects, from making lenses of glass to mushrooms and herbalism to the weaving of amusing tales to occupy children while their parents shopped (especially those who frequented the store that Sir Lem's succubus waifu ran) was free of charge, and sometimes useful.

Basically I was a free baby sitter for some, who could also help other people pass the time while they waited for one or another shopkeep to finish the job they were waiting on. What it actually meant is that I was having a bad air day and couldn't afford to exert myself any more than was absolutely necessary. Filthy, rotten lungs. I often considered taking up smoking just to spite them.
It was early yet, and there weren't any children about that needed watching, and most of the adults were still wandering about on their way to appointments or business, or if they were lucky waifu-warmed beds. Most of the merchants were still setting out wares or opening up shop. Cradling my mug of far too strong tea, I blew on it to cool it off a bit more. There was a lamia who had been watching me for a good ten minutes, marked by the movement of the shadows of the buildings rather than any real sense of time. It could have been two or three, it could have been twenty. Being stared at by a lamia is a rather unique experience. Most lamias try not to stare at people, as it makes them nervous, and I could see why.

She had been holding very still for the entire time I'd noticed her. She was youngish, or just a very slender species; it was a little difficult to tell. She was a very long, but slender specimen of feminine snake, her scales that coppery brown color that made me think of East Indian cobras seen on the long lost National Geographic specials. Her human torso was about three feet in length or hight, depending on your measuring direction – making her, if she'd had legs, about five-foot-five-inches or so. Her hair was very neatly cornrowed, with lots of ivory or bone beads that clicked softly as the wind caught them or she shifted position slightly. A simple halter top crossed her smallish breasts with golden-brown cloth edged with colorful beading; a similar shawl or skirt hung about her hips. It was her eyes that really drew me in, though: raw, unlined brass, with irregular vertical pupils. They shimmered in the sunlight brighter than gold and the size of large coins. Impossible to miss, really.
When I finally looked directly at her they widened and she lowered herself a little, which struck me as a somewhat odd reaction. I was probably the least threatening looking Outsider that lived in TeeGee, much less Castle Waifu. Lamias rose up when threatened, as I recalled – I'd never seen one recoil like that. She tasted the air, which I thought was incredibly cute when her tongue almost hit her nose and she jerked away from it; my smile made her blush. Idly I wondered if I was being stalked, which was at the time somewhat unthinkable to me, given the state of my health and the fact that there were plenty of men around who would have happily taken her under their wing (or their covers, but it was hard to tell how old she was; lamia are notoriously long lived). I set the pasteboard card I was working on – the Sun, not one of my favorites – as well as the thin blade I'd been carving it with, and simply watched her watching me.

The lamia lowered herself further, and leaned forward, her hands clasped in front of her chest and her eyes daring back and forth, as she mumbled something to herself. Her body was moving up behind her, which is a sight to see when they hold their torso steady lat the same time. The sense of disjointedness is very bizarre. Of course, I enjoyed it. That's how I'd ended up here in the first place. “Dem Scales,” I murmured, the blazon of Castle Waifu coming to mind. She really was quite a bit longer than most lamia. I was sure she was an adult now, but her species wasn't one I'd seen many examples of except on the Monster Girl Uploader – and those had been a little young even for my varied tastes.
The dark haired lamia finally rose up and slithered towards me, undulating gracefully along the paving stones, the beads in her hair making soft clattering noises like bamboo or teak wind chimes might. I watched her, trying to keep a bland expression as I cradled my untouched tea in my lap. When she reached the stones I sat on, she rose up a little higher – which was faintly nerve wracking, to be honest – then folded herself back on her tail slightly, sitting on her own back. I stared at that and then looked at her expectantly.

Licking her lips, another very strange thing to see a lamia do given their tongues don't look or work anything like any of the other races, she finally looked up at me and asked, “Are you the witch of TeeGee?”

I had to work hard at not looking like I was pole-axed. “Not last I checked, pretty.” I didn't recall anyone being referred to by that 'title,' much less having it bestowed upon me. I'd probably have noticed that.

She blushed again and looked away, her hands clasped in front of her chest again, and she murmured in her sibilant native tongue again. Taking heart from whatever prayer she had made, she looked me in the eye and said very softly, “They say you are a witch.”

“They say many things,” I pointed out gently, without the slightest idea whom she meant by “they.”
Tasting the air again as I patiently and curiously awaited her next question or comment, the lamia looked at me with an expression of either hope or desperation. Which often tended to be the same thing, in my experience. “I need the help of a witch, or a wizard, or another with great powers.” Her eyes were filling with tears, and my stomach did a slow turn. Unasked-for quests never turned out well, that I'd heard of. Not always badly, but never really well. “I need help rescuing my egg.”

Figures she'd be married. Hopes dashed, I took a sip of my tea, mostly to hide the disappointment. When I looked back at her it was with that more usual mask of calm that I tried to maintain. “I'm not a warrior, pretty. There are many knights who would be happy to - “

“It must be a witch or a wizard or a sorceress,” she gushed quickly, cutting me off. “I need the help of a magic wielder. No knight, no warrior can help me. They have all failed me.” I started to speak again and she seized my arm, faster than I could move. I managed to keep my tea in the mug, but only just. To say I was startled by how fast she moved was an understatement. “The spriggan who keeps my egg from me matches all who come against him in arms or wit....I can think of nothing else than a caster to help.”
Spriggans. Wiry little Fey that built henges and moved boulders because it pleased them to do so. Rumpelstiltskin had been one of those, which only made it worse. They were clever and skilled at magic and able to take the form of giants – but they were already that strong as they were, carrying massive boulders across miles of countryside at night though they were merely a foot or two tall.

Her eyes went wide as she tasted the air, and she rose up a little. “You'll help me?!”


Staring at my tea, I went through the motions of an internal debate, but I knew better. There wasn't any question of me not helping. Not just because her egg had been stolen, or because I strove to uphold the knightly virtues despite being infirm and insane, but because she'd told me I'd help her. If she'd asked I could have said no, though I wouldn't have; I'd have more likely gotten one of the knights for her, probably Sir Kitril. But she'd half-told me, half commanded me to help her, and because of an incident involving a flower, a sweet-cake, a salamander (the little four legged ones, not the flaming serpent-people), and three belligerent pixies, I was bound by my word to help her.

>Clutch nolich
Excellent advice Captcha-tan.
I drained the rest of my tea and swung my legs off the block. “Yes, I'll help you, pretty,” I said with a sigh.

The speed with which she lunged at me to give me a hug smacked the back of my head against the wall, and she nearly crushed my ribs as she thanked me effusively. Then it was my turn to blush as her breasts rubbed all too firmly against mine. I reminded myself she was already someone's waifu and that she was expecting to boot; the chances of her being interested in me were slim to none. I hugged her back, once, and then gently struggled to disentangle myself from her; she was weeping with joy at having found a champion, unlikely a one as I might be.

I hoped I didn't disappoint.

Sir GearHearts Succubus you mean. Lem has Kikki a Felim. Good so far though.
Well, in a Quest Thread, you have a bunch of people roleplay as a single person to complete some sort of pre-determined goal. This is an open setting where people come and propose various characters to the setting, sometimes based on ourselves sometimes not, but can you honestly say you've never played a character based on yourself in your life?

There are also conflicts to be certain. Just look at the big mess Sir Andrew caused, and in the last thread I told the story of Sir Styx, a man driven mad by his desire to return home. the Waifu system rarely has any problems because it requires the express and complete consent to commitment of all parties involved. It minimizes issues because mediation is basically "Are you okay with this, yes or no?" and that's the extent of it.

>A New Challenger Appears!
Quite excellent. You did your research and then some. Captures alot of excellent subtleties. Though to be clear, it's Sir James GearHeart that has the succubus waifu. Lem just has his Kikki. I'll brush it off as an oversight, but other than that, it was fantastic. Does well to flesh out the Fey even.

Damn. I'll remember that and fix it in the file.
It's very well written. With a deep character and good insight to details. I look forward to more stories of the witch of teegee.

Also the mistake is understandable. Lilly gets around to different stories and some of the best were co-written by Sir Fearghaile
Thank you. If i didn't have to go to bed I'd finish it. I think it's Lilly's Felim mate that threw me.
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I know its kind of late but 9 hours of lectures straight doesn't give me much time to post on tuesdays...

But just keep at it and don't give up even if you can't achieve the sometime unrealistic goals you set for yourself. Take a look at my stories in just these threads, the jump in quality is so fucking huge it hurts to go back to my first post. Asked for help and critiques and look at the difference it made.
More proof that nobody really reads a word I write. Just kidding. As you obviously read the bit about magic I wrote. Lilly's mate is Meina the Holstaurus which is a cowgirl. Like I've said before I don't take this stuff badly. There's a lot of stuff to keep track of.
I liked the bit about the flower. That's a noodle incident if I've ever seen one.

Has Earstroker been around recently? I don't think I've seen him since the threads near the beginning (unless one of you is him and I just forgot).
He was in thread 18 I think or near that
Haven't seen him around, no.

Very nice work. A tarot card reading magic user?

I like where this is going.

Nearly done with my entry...I think. It's running a bit longer than I expected it to.
I will nip off and commit seppuku with a pretzel stick immediately in shame.

Though in my defense I haven't read all the stories and you don't mention this fact in the most recent ones.
Like I said I'm fine with it. Just pointing out for clarity for future works. But I'm calling you I know I made direct mention of it in 19 and pretty sure 20.
Just shows you how brain dead I am for being up 24 hours. To bed, then work, then to return and give TeeGee more witchcraft.
calling you on the last part.

Darn my multitasking skills and lack of proper sleep.

Sleep is in rare quanity around here it seems.
Tarot card making magic user, actually.
Fighting over waifus is against the knights code, but I guess it'd happen. Don't worry, I'm actually writing Sir Andrew to have some... Shall we say 'issues' with other knights, as a result of events in the timeline. It's part of the reason why he chose to head off to adventure.

Last I checked, we WEREN'T asking all /tg/ to salute it. So yeah, we WILL enjoy this little storytime. You just go over there and be sooper srius all day erry day.
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I have had many encounters with demons over the course of my career, most being lone encounters with capra and bull demons, and while not to be taken lightly, they aren’t as great a threat as they are sometimes made out to be, mostly due to their general lack of intelligence, or perhaps they’re just insane…a possibility since most were bound to their area. On occasion, however, I’ve had the misfortune of running into worse things than they.

One such occasion was when I and a group of others were hired to clear out a cavern the dwarves had uncovered. At first I thought this request a bit unusual since the dwarves don’t generally ask for that kind of assistance and the pay they offered was enough to make me suspicious, rarely a good sign. There were some thirty of us who went, mostly native humans and some orcs, all heavily armed and ready for battle, but when we were informed that we would be clearing out demons, several of my fellows started to visibly waiver. Most understandable, I admit, since the stories they hear of the capra demons are frightening enough, with whole squads falling to them at times, but the prospect of fighting several of them was more than most could take. I admit that I was a bit unnerved, and I had taken on bull and capras in single combat, but I was not going to back down. Call it martial hubris if you want, but the more I thought on the matter, the more I decided it was a challenge, both to me and the Harem Knights, plus the prospect of that much sulphur was too much to pass up.
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One thing I did request before going in was a silvered sword, similar to the greatsword I already had. A steel core jacketed in alchemical silver, nearly as hard as steel, and all the more damaging to demons, a trait I always found strange, but who was I to question what was and was not effective. The rest of my cadre were likewise given similar weapons. The dwarves work surprisingly fast, turning out all those blades in less than a week. They really wanted what was in that cave.

While they were getting our new weapons ready, I ran through drills with the others about how to deal with larger beast like the bull demons, and I surely hoped that that would be the worst we encountered. I tried a few scouting attempts during this time as well, but I only caught a few glimpses of shadows before I withdrew. Sif noticed the creatures scurrying about long before I did, but all we knew going in was that there were demons and that not all of them were the larger variety.

We advanced in a loose formation, the dwarves standing guard at the entrance with crossbows at the ready. The corridor leading into the cavern was narrow, but the cavern itself opened up into a large area, lit dimly by glowing crystals and fungus, revealing a sizable group of creatures, perhaps twenty in all, that I did not recognize. Some were squat little things with what looked to be daggers, others were armored figures, roughly human sized, but with spikes and horns protruding from their bodies, and one in the back was a great, fat creature with an enormous club.
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The ensuing battle was fierce. The little ones, imps I think they were called, were easily dispatched, and even the armored ones were surprisingly easy to down, but the great fat one was another story. A sweep of its club sent several knights flying and it crushed another two in a downwards smash. It was a fearsome creature, the likes of which I hope to never see again, but as the saying goes, if it bleeds, we can kill it.

The archers shot out the beast’s eyes at one point and after it was hamstrung we finally had it. Even so, two more of my fellows were hurt pretty badly by the beast flailing around as we butchered it. The beast finally quieted and dissipated when Sif tore the beast’s windpipe out. With the cavern seemingly cleared out, I sent a few people to escort the dead and wounded back to the safety of the dwarves while we did a sweep to confirm that the cavern was clear.

Towards the back of the cavern we found another passage, filled with dense webbing and strange, glowing egg sacks. A little ways in the passage open into another cave, much smaller than the last, but it seemed empty. As we advanced, I noticed a staircase, uncharacteristic in a cave, to say the least, but no less so than the creature that walked down them at that moment.

I could compare what I saw to one of the spiderfolk, but that would be an insult to them. This appeared to be a demonic spider, covered in glowing spines and in possession of a very nasty set of jaws, but topped with the body of a young woman, raven haired and wearing nothing but an evil smirk. It was also about that time that I noticed a very nasty looking sword in the woman’s hand.
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I shouted a warning to my fellows and we fell into a half-moon formation, weapons at the ready. It was then that the demon spoke. It was a seductive voice, honeyed and eloquent, but the thing that caught me off guard was the fact that it was English. I should note for any non-Outrealmers reading this that the native common tongue here is not our original one, it was one all of us just seemed to know whenever we were transported here from our own world.

As dangerous as this creature was, I decided the chance to encounter something else that spoke my language was worth the risk. I called the others to hold and walked forward to meet the demon. It took me a moment to remember how to speak English, but the demon seemed as surprised as I was. After a brief bit of confusion, she introduced herself as a demonic noble of sorts; the closest approximation I could make of is Quelaag. I introduced myself with my old name, the first time in over a decade I had used it, and then as Sir Artorias of the Harem Knights. We spoke briefly, mostly of my purpose here. She was a bit angry that we had killed her minions, but then lamented that this place was starting to get boring and that a good fight would make things more exciting.

I barely managed to get my shield up in time to block her sword. The others moved to attack, including Sif, but I signaled them to stay back. Something told me that this one was much worse than the fat one outside, and once the spider part started to spew lava, I knew why. The legs were more thickly armored than I had first thought, but a few well-placed hits were rewarded with the demon screaming in pain as the leg separated.

“Silver weapons?” she snarled. “I see you carry a sword for monsters. What is the other for, I wonder?”

“They’re both for monsters,” I replied.
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The fight went on for some time before I finally plunged the silvered sword through her chest. What happened next was not what I had expected, to say the least. Instead of screaming, she reached out, grabbed me by the front of my tabard, and kissed me.

“That was fun,” she said. “Consider this a parting gift.” She touched the hilt of my sword and it seemed to corrode, taking on a strange, duller appearance than silver should. Then, as she was disappearing, she muttered, “we really should do this again sometime.”

I had the sulphur collected and send back to Teegee shortly thereafter. The others went ahead while I stayed behind to make sure there were no other suprises. That demon though…I’m not sure where she is, but every so often I get the sneaking suspicion that I’m being watched, as if she’s waiting for something…

-excerpt from The Knight-Sergeant’s Tale
WHat a twizt
I can't let everyone else have all the fun with recurring villains, now can I? Plus I was trying to see how many references I could fit in towards the end.

Right, my apologies.
Screw it, I want the name in blue.

"Oh? Back already?"
"No, no, I was not expecting you back so soon. It has been only a day."
"Not at all. I never have a 'bad time,' save for when I sleep. Now, where did we leave off?"
"Ah, a question already? Go right on ahead."
"Well, the answer to that is that I most certainly did bring my case before the Council. I could not get through to them, Fearghaile had them all thoroughly convinced that the nation's image was of a higher priority. A disturbing thought, is it not? The Council, the closest thing we have to a ruling group in our great nation, has such little respect for the dead. Pitiful, really. Things would have certainly been different had I succeeded. I suppose the world was just not yet ready to change. Does that satisfy your question?"
"Very well then. I took no part in our festivities. I instead spent the time giving the dead their much deserved mourning and attention. With nobody to return home to, I had begun to spend longer and longer periods of time out of the castle. I started to take more work in taking out slave trade caravans. In that time, something developed in me. I still do not entirely know what caused it, but from that point on, I knew that I was approaching these slavers the wrong way. Before, I would injure all of them, even disable a few, but I would ultimately spare them. But at that time, I started to feel that was not enough. I began to feel...anger, I guess I would say. I felt as though I were not doing enough, that letting them live would mean allowing them to get back into their business, ruining more lives. At that point, I knew I had to do something about it. I had to make sure they could no longer continue their foul deeds. So I began to kill them."
"No, it was not very different at all. The only real difference is that these kills were not out of my own defense. I did it for the defense of those trapped women. They were all grateful, though some seemed to express that gratitude through silence and wide stares. It never bothered me, I could tell how they felt and that was thanks enough for me. Speaking of gratitude, I realize I failed to mention something. It is fairly easy to assume, but I was not the only one frustrated with the Council's decision. Immigrants, widows, widowers, and even some who lost nothing in the attack very much agreed with me. I made sure I was there for as many of them as I could. It was quite interesting observing the different ceremonies of the various races. I used to know a professor or two who would have loved to study those from a cultural perspective."
"Oh, I apologize. I sometimes drift like that. I will try to avoid doing it again, but feel free to stop me should it happen. Now, the important part was that I had a plethora of sympathizers. It will be some time before this is relevant, but it needs to be set up. So, continuing, I would spend long periods of time out of Teegee slaying slavers and freeing their captives. I was determined to stop them all, but eventually they grew sneakier, craftier.
"I found myself less busy than I once was and that fact severely disturbed me. I wanted to save those women, I needed to save them. I needed to kill those slavers to discourage the practice. I knew they were out there, but finding them was a problem. After two years of my work, I was becoming known, my face recognized. It was hindering my progress, which further frustrated me, which in turn made it harder for me to acquire good information. It was a rather vicious cycle. To be honest, I doubt I could have ever broken it on my own. I wager that I would be lying dead in an alley somewhere had I not been saved from myself. Now that I think about it, I suppose there are so many people who would prefer that to what I ended up doing."
"Oh? That is certainly an interesting theory you put forward there. How did you come to such a conclusion?"
"I see. You are quite keen. That is, in fact, what happened to me. How about a reward? See, according to the position of the sun, food will soon be making its way up here. By this point, you stand no chance of getting out of here undetected. For your reward, I will make sure you remain unseen."
"Yes, that is exactly what I will be doing. Have you ever been invisible before?"
"Ah. It will feel strange, but it is in your best interest that you disregard such feelings. You shall go sit in that corner there, make sure you don't leave your limbs laying out. Though there is little chance the guard will make his way over there, it is still more than possible. Sit there and stay quiet, do not move. Now go, I have already concealed you from sight."
"It is safe to come back over here now. Please try not to trip over yourself again, that sounded like a rather nasty fall."
"There we are, good and visible again. It certainly takes some getting used to."
"Well, the way I was taught is that you should not focus on trying to see where you are going, but rather you should feel your course. Know the feel of your legs as they move in whichever direction they may and concentrate your vision on the path before you."
"I see. Well, do make sure to return in one piece. Next time I will tell you about the faerie and what she was able to teach me. Stay safe."
Just going to throw my two bits in. So far hes sane, likeable, and eloquent. Comes off more as V than of Hannibal.
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Tanash Shacklesbane metal freedom fighter
Forgot name also I did not even that out. Back to the drawing board
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I think I have a tape in the garage that looks like this.
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Also if any one wants to do a joint story I'm up for it. Just be sitting here wasting time so I'm available. Though I think this is the slow part of the day
>>20964278 Forgot link like a dumbass
God-damn, I'm lagging behind on reading these. THIS though? This is BRILLIANT.

I mean seriously! I don't know what it is, but wow. I guess maybe it's the freshness of having someone like a frail, wily witch in amongst all these knights. I'll be looking forward to anything more from you.
Hot fscking damn y'all are prolific. Finally got through all the bloody threads. Beautiful stuff here. I take it you won't mind one more joining the Knights Harem?
Never. There's plenty of nameless Outrealmers to go around. Welcome brother!
Now I only have to come up with a decent name. Only one I have right now is a bit too similar to one of the current Knights. Thinking about shifting that to a title.
welcome to the crew!
Guys! Total brainwave here. I just realised something; an advantage we have, due to our low-scale industrialisation; a logistical advantage for the Men-At-Arms and for the adventurers among our number that we'd never even considered until now..!

Canned food.

Think about it; canned food keeps far longer than anything else in this world and we've got the means to produce it. Canned fish, fruit, veggies, meat; it gives us a huge logistical advantage AND frees up space in your bag for more loot.

Just thought I'd throw that out there. Tin cans: Don't under-estimate their humble importance.
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Behold its solemn, majestic manifisence
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I've been gone from /tg/ for far too long. What the hell is this?
In general, or specifically? Because I think I may be slightly sleep-deprived and loopy.

All joking aside though, canned food's a big deal for a medieval fantasy world.
How the hell am I supposed to open this?!

*crush can with battle-ac*
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In general. Come back to /tg/ after ages, see quest(?) thread where people are dropping stories. Note dubious title. Confusion abounds.
Entry 4, Vol 2, Midyear? 3 A.A.?

I do not know how long I was out for. We had stopped to inspect the aforementioned shrine. It was made of a dark wood. Whether the wood’s colour was natural or the result of enduring the elements I do not know. Lem tells me the craftsmanship is reminiscent of crafts of Elven make. However he noted some differences such as the carvings of a wolf, an eagle and a snake, which were definitely not something that was normally found in the Elves to the east of us. The offering to the shrine was a beaded necklace.

It was as I was noting all these details down that Lem did slip, due to the treacherous terrain no doubt, letting out an amusing curse as Kikki immediately leapt after him. Their fall into the small ravine had not been lethal as I could peer down from the edge with some effort to see them still breathing if not conscious. Since I enjoyed their company more than the burros that we rode on, I had decided to climb down to them, to ensure they didn’t actually have any serious injuries. How foolish of me to do so in retrospect. I must have lost my grip on the climb down which has landed us in this current predicament.
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((Goddamn keep forgetting my image))
We awoke to find ourselves in the care of the what seemed like ebony skinned Elves. They had the characteristic ears of an elf and I assume they share a common ancestry. However, their manner and their garments are not typical of the Elves we have encountered before. No doubt many have ever seen or heard of such a species. They do not seem hostile so far, our items and equipment are still with us and I hope that such continues. For now, Lem has suggested I hide my journal lest it be taken away if discovered.
Entry 5, Vol 2 30th Midyear 3 A.A.

It had only been a day, so I assume this is the correct date to use. Regardless, our dark-skinned Elven hosts have so far shown much hospitality. They had many questions for us, such as whether Lem was my bodyguard or somesuch nonsense and we cleared up any confusion with a brief retelling of our history. True to form, Lem had of course had his own question for these as they called themselves, and set about diplomancing them. I remained quiet for the most part, content to observe this unique species and their culture.

A fact I’ve gleaned from observation is that they are an egalitarian society. They are also avid storytellers, their history and culture recorded in near perfect memory and passed on orally to the next generation. They’ve told me of the beginning of their exile. A deadly disease ravaged their population and how they were settled in the then uninhabited dark mountain as a quarantine measure. These elves were cut off from their homes and their people when the Mirthans moved in to where they were now. Nowadays the disease seems to have reached an equilibrium of sorts as it no longer harms them in any noticeable sense. Harbinger would have a field day here.
They’ve told me of their beliefs that we, creatures of this world, are parts of a greater whole. The greater whole is God and since we are a part of God, we too are divine. Perhaps that is why they give proper respect to all things around them. If only they could say the same for themselves.

While their disease seems to no longer physically harm them, the damage that it inflicts is mostly psychological. It is a deeply-ingrained spiritual shame they harbour for being afflicted and they call themselves “Drow” and it means “[the] cursed ones” in their tongue. However, it is a hopeful shame as one day, they shall be reunited with their brethren as prodigal sons and daughters. Their optimism will go unrewarded if my prior experience with their “uncursed” brethren to the east is any indicator. Lem has been dodging that topic quite well so far, though I fear he’ll not be able to hold for long.
Entry 6, Vol 2 3rd Sun’s Height

It was inevitable, the Drow kept asking of tales of their uncursed brethren. True to his form, Lem managed to dodge the questions expertly but eventually they finally cornered the diplomancer before could he change the subject. Hesitantly, Lem told them of our encounters with the Elves of the East. Understandably, most were shocked and disgusted by what they heard, especially coming off of ancient stories of Elven peace and prosperity. Their religious traditions had remained unchanged over the millennia and to hear of such unorthodoxy was difficult for them.

It was understandable, the elves that we described were despicable and degenerate. One that our hosts would not willingly wish to be associated with. Accusations were levied against us, mostly Lem, as we were human travelers. They’ve seen the Mirthans go about their business, it’s not a stretch to believe that we’d be lying, greedy, and manipulative spies sent to sow discord between them.
Whether at loss for words or having calculated the result beforehand, Lem kept silent. We were saved once again by the Felim. Lem’s companion, Kikki, had delivered an impassioned defense on our behalf. I did not find it at all strange that they would trust the word of a Felim more than a human’s and the issues were resolved peacefully. Their chief apologised afterwards and offered to personally accompany us to the edge of the Shirelands once we were well enough to leave.

Without skipping a beat Lem segued into discussing the possibility of opening up low level trade. The Drow were reticent to accept, preferring to keep themselves hidden, given the recent revelation of their wayward brethren and numerous other reasons besides. Still the prospect of tools, medicines, and other such goods that could improve their quality of life was tempting. Lem promised a return trip soon to iron out the details.
Entry 7, Vol 2 6th Sun’s Height

I had only aggravated an old wound and for the most part is what had kept us with the drow, I’ll never get used to that name, for a few days. It’s a minor ankle fracture suffered long ago. The legacy of a misspent youth I suppose. As I mentioned, the drow had managed to not take anything from us so it wasn’t hard for me to be up and about. My trusty walking stick which I have polished to near perfection was still with me and it wasn’t hard to use as a temporary crutch for the time being. Lem predictably asked me why I wished not to be healed and I told him that as long as it wasn’t life threatening I would deal with it.

If anything was responsible for my swift recovery, it must be the natural hot springs found in the region. Bathing was not a luxury in the Old World and I must admit I was feeling rather grimy ever since the summer started. Apparently the area was a hotbed of volcanic activity as evidenced by the craggy landscape. Of course I have an inkling that the reason I am not able to make more than a passing mention to this is because of certain ramifications this discovery would have on politics, both in TeeGee and abroad. Or thats how Lem would put it I believe.

However now we are nearing the Shirelands. I can see the fields of gold and I could feel a warmth radiating from the land.
Entry 8, Vol 2 7th Sun’s Height

If the Gnomes seemed like hyperactive children with short attention spans, the Halflings were more sedate and calm. I suppose anything that isn’t a gnome is more sedate and calm but I digress. Their homes felts rather comfortable and welcoming, with a big extended family and tightly knit community. Some would say they are too close, as they seem to not take very well to their own leaving the Shirelands.

It is fair to say that the world outside the Shirelands holds many dangers, but even more so is the fact that the dangers of the outside world was going to come to Shirelands eventually. Lem had been trying to impress that fact on to the elders and leaders of their community. Whether he succeeded or not, I would find out later, as I had a good amount of time to explore Shireland religious traditions.

What I found was something quite similar to dwarven beliefs. They believe in a central God, essentially the world, and parts of the world are watched over by his lesser aspects. This would go a long way in explaining the numerous shrines dotted along the path we traveled. They were not uniform, like most of the Myrthter ones we encountered, but they did all have an offering of rye grain or pipe-weed in varying amounts. There was little in the way of clergy. Here the village elders tended to the spiritual needs of their community, acting as both arbiter and guide.
Entry 9, Vol 2 8th Sun’s Height

Our expedition has met with great success despite our unplanned encounter with the drow. Lem tells me it is exactly because of that that our expedition has succeeded beyond expectation. Regardless we, or rather he, had chosen to celebrate in one of the taverns. Taverns in the Shirelands were unlike the ones in TeeGee, mirroring the style of bars and pubs of the Old Realm. Halfling establishments were usually built around a consortium of local brewers. Aside from the main counter for the bar, most tables were walled off, like stalls but with doors to provide privacy.

Lem had indulged in rye whiskey which he also offered me. Knowing that alcohol had gotten me into trouble before I politely declined. However, with him imbibing mind-altering substances, I decided to mention my plan of a setting up a centre of higher learning. Despite his growing inebriation he took to the idea with a great deal of enthusiasm.
Before I could acquire his full backing he made a request. Pouring just a bit of the whiskey into a glass and offering it to me for “a toast”. That same downcast expression was on his face now. It was the same that I had seen before we had set out on this expedition in the first place. There was something in the back of his mind and I was determined to find out as accepted the drink. He gave a toast from the Old Realm, something Irish sounding, saying that it was something from his family. It was meant to be uplifting but the thought of family back home was sobering to say the least. Not even the strong drink managed to soften the blow.

Thrice now I have been saved by the Felim, this time from my own brooding. Kikki had for the most part remained silent, though her cheeks seem flushed. I noted that she had not finished her first glass because she was staring at me quite intently, almost displeased with my presence. Having satisfied Lem by sharing a drink, something I might acquire myself for the special occasion, I made to leave, using my ankle acting up as an excuse. I managed to spy Kikki edging closer to Lem as I reached for my walking stick and suppressed a smile. It wouldn’t hurt to afford them a bit of privacy and it’s a long trip back to TeeGee.
Entry 10, Vol 2 15th Sun’s Height.

We have arrived back in TeeGee. It seems that nothing important happened the night of my previous entry. The tension between Lem and Kikki during the week’s trip back to TeeGee was almost tangible. As for me, I was back to in the arms, or rather bosoms of my two wives, a warm embrace I could get used to.

My return resulted in the usual trip to the Librarian to ensure my letters have arrived and to arrange for seminars in the following days. Still I cannot shake off this niggling thought about the Old Realm from the back of my mind but still I was pleased to be occupied in the coming days.

Finally, I was surprised, pleasantly so, to find a bottle of Halfling Rye and a note from Lem by the time I finally got home. The whiskey was a belated wedding present and the note was more or less a blank check to begin work on a higher institution of learning. The note also mentioned “asking for forgiveness instead of permission” though I must admit my joy had overridden any foreboding.

--Journal of Bhikkhu Thai, Travels with Sir Fearghaile 2: The Heart of Darkness

Enjoy chaps. A pleasure to write with you Lem, always up for good idea if you need me.

That and you guys need to include the 1d4chan link in the OP next time.
Welcome to the Knights Harem. We're less of a quest thread, more like a massive world building exercise that somehow blossomed out of a "Wizard teleports you to a fantasy world WAT DO" thread and a desire to rub elf ears. We have our own wiki page now and everything!


Hell, I've been here since thread 2 and I STILL don't know what the fuck is going on sometimes. All I know is that it is glorious.

Ring-pulls. Or can openers. They're not that hard.
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One day, One day I will have the time to go through all the threads and read everything. But that is not this day.

I am just surprised that the few of us have inspired so many others to write so much.
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This wiki...
and it isn't even complete, we've had lots more writefags, the ones on there have done more, and gearheart has written more encyclopedia style works
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So, to participate I just write? About what, anything?

Give yourself a name, write an intro story (Or don't) and just establish yourself in the world.

Pretty simple hombre.
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Recommendation, however, read through as much lore and things as you can. A primary example of GOOD JOB being >>20962338
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Very well. I'll look around, but this traveler tends to wander. Expect journals posted by homing pigeons.
Except remember Lilly the Succubus is my charecter no matter how many other stories she appears in
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One quick question - I notice a variety of races, however there are always room for more, as well as tribes of displaced races outside of their normal home areas. Will there be any issue if I introduce any contact with such rouge groups or previously unestablished creatures?
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Depends on the creature. The general rule of thumb is "Human with Animal/Monster characteristics" The reverse and we start dancing with furries and xeos, so as a point to avoid drama, I'd like to keep heresy to a minimum.
>implying we don't use homing harpies
introducing something big is generally something you should talk about in the thread a bit beforehand
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Considering traveling south from TG through the Central Plains and skirting the Knoll Wastes to what seems to be a river dividing the Wastes and Orc Land from the Desert. Will most likely follow the river itself and expect to possibly encounter Knolls, Orcs, Water Nymphs/Spirits(?), whatever dwells in the desert, Harpies, and eventually whatever dwells in Serrid. Simply thinking at this point. Establishing a background/introduction and the start of the journey.
Oh jeez. I just finished doing that to make sure I don't bugger up any canon when I write. It's a haul.
Sorry, just got out of class.
That's kind of what I'm going for. Setting him up as a fairly okay guy, not the kind of guy you'd expect to have to sit in prison for some really high number. I don't know, let's say 35.
I'm banking on that creating this really jarring...the word went out on me. Juxtaposition? Comparison? Something like that. Basically, when I get into what the crap he did I want it to be like a harsh note, like a squeak from a clarinet, something that can't go unnoticed.

Unfortunately, I've never tried something like this before and I fully expect it to not have the impact I want it to have. Whatever happens, it'll be good practice.
Well I like the way you think then.
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>homing harpies
I take it that's what the new project is?

I was here in thread 1, didn't think it would go places, and probably closed it just before Ear-rubbing came in. /tg/ frightens me sometimes.

Canned food is a big deal fuckin' EVERYWHERE! It's just become commonplace, and we don't realize exactly how important it is anymore.

Another thing we need? Antibiotics. We're sure to have some Biologists and Chemists in here, so we've got the Penicillins and the Sulfonamides done, plus a dozen others I can't immediately think of. Now we just need to use them on a rotating basis so we don't get antibiotic resistance developing, do proper sterilization of all tools (bleach for 10 minutes), and make sure to quarantine the people who go into the hospital to ensure nothing escapes. And don't get me started on the farming techniques we could use, or even simple tools like the Cotton Gin (do we have cotton?)
It was a quiet day at the shop. Lilly and I were managing it and Jim was off gallivanting around the lands. A voice I hadn’t heard in awhile rung out with the opening door. “Hey guys!” In walked Lem and Kikki. Lem looked a tad on edge though he would never admit it. Kikki was the same, but more that she was anxiously curious than treading where she dare not.

“Hi, what ya doing?” I said getting up from the game of chess that we had been playing.

“Looking for something fun? Or naughty?” Lilly said, running her tongue over her lips.

“Hey Meina, how’s Lilly and Jim?” Lem spoke as if Lilly wasn’t there. I think I got why he was a little on edge. He knows Lilly far too well.

“Oh too stuck up to notice me today. Well I’ll be sure to get you two a wedding present to make up for it. One that Kikki will love. You not so much.”

“Well, Jims off studying Merpeople and Lilly’s gone a full day without molesting anyone. So that’s good. How you two been? Haven’t seen you two in a while.”
Yeah, Halflings have cotton.

Also fuckit temp name because I'm sure I'm confusing people
“Oh Meina, tell them the news.”

“News?” Kikki’s ears perked up.

“I’m expecting. Lilly’s more excited than I am. And we had to get Jim out of the house as he went a bit crazy trying to child proof everything.”

Kikki squealed and cooed, apparently happy to hear the news. Even Lem gave a ‘Congrats’ “When’s she due?!”

“Um..sometime around Suns Height.”

“And I get to play the aunt who spoils her. Now the question is how soon ‘till you to pop one in the oven.”

It was Kikki’s turn to ignore Lilly, deciding to dodge the question. “So glad for you guys~”

“Thank you.”

“Man it’s cold in here today.” Lilly said, pretending to shiver. She communicated a message with her magic mind powers.

“Lilly, wants to know if you want to see the stocks. Also the pun is intentional.”

“Well, that’s why we’re here isn’t it?” Lem spoke up in good natured sarcasm. Kikki blushed a bit and nodded. It definitely seemed like her idea in the first place, but I could tell she was a little nervous. That’s not unlike a lot of couples new to the store, actually

“Ok then the stocks and other bondage gear is this way.” I gestured to follow me, but I was joking just a little.

“I think something a little... lighter would be better.” Kikki turned a shade redder and more flustered

“I think that loverboy could use an impaler stand but he would have to lose the broom handle.”

“Lilly, quit it, you’re just gonna scare them away.” Honestly, Lilly can be her own worst competitor sometimes. “C’mon you two, I’ll show you what’s popular.” And I led them off into the vanilla wing.

As I pulled aside the curtain leading to the vanilla wing I asked. “So for you or him or both?”
“Honestly? I kinda only wanted to look around to support you guys.” Kikki gave a nervous smile.

“That’s ok feel free to browse, If you have any questions let me know.”

The two of them looked around for a bit, sometimes whispering to each other. It was kinda cute actually. Lem was the first one. Every time he whispered something in her ear, Kikki would blush and squirm, but before long, she was whispering back, getting the same reactions out of Lem. From the way Kikki’s swaying with each step she takes I think Lem is in for trouble. Still, they’re moving without holding to anything for very long. It’s strange, it’s almost like Lem knows his way around, and he’s definitely never been here before, Lilly wouldn’t let me hear the end of that. If I don’t act soon, Lem might just convince Kikki to walk out empty handed. Can’t have that~. Oh damnit, Lilly’s rubbing off on me again...

“So everything going well? Found anything that catches your eye yet?” I came up behind them.

“I’m pretty okay. Actually, this isn’t really for anything, but you guys have tarps, right?” He has been in one of these stores before.

“Oh Lem, messy, are we?” He rolled his eyes a bit. Probably not. “Sure, through that door down the right.” That should keep him busy for a while. Before Kikki could follow, I grabbed the edge of her shirt and pulled her back. “Still wanna browse?”

“S-sure.” And she continued where she left off, except with me shadowing her.

“You don’t sound so sure. It a bit much for you?”

“Well, I don’t know if I really thought this out before coming here, I guess...”

“Just be glad Lilly is staying banished to the front desk. Also most people are overwhelmed their first time. I could tell Lem is an old pro though. Most people don’t ask about tarps.”

At that moment Lilly walked in. A smile taking up her face.

“Did I hear right. Our little goody two shoes Lem knows what hes doing. I should go pester him about that.”
“Oh don’t be like that, he’s already going down the wrong hallway looking for a tarp.”

“The wrong hallway is the fun hallway though. But just this once I’ll let him get off easy.”

“Are you sure someone didn’t just tell him Meina? Well... I mean...” Kikki hesitated for a moment. “I-it just doesn’t seem like him.”

“I could be wrong but he sure knew his way around the merchandise... ” I said without thinking. I probably shouldn’t have, Lilly was just eating it up.

“Oh I bet he knows all about the ways of pleasing a woman. A little birdy told me he really knows how to handle you.” Lilly said, flicking her tongue about like she was... well getting down to business.

Kikki wasn’t responding well to the teasing though. “Hey, I - I mean that he told me I was his first!” She was a good deal red and a bit unsure of herself.

“Did he give a good pop?” Lilly said with all the tact she could muster. Which was none.

“Lilly! I’m sure that Lem would never lie to her.”

“I’m not so sure. He’s a crafty guy and one smooth operator. He could lie to just about anyone and get away with it.”

“Lilly, stop it. You're not helping things.”
Kikki I’m sure knew better than to take Lilly seriously, but she still looked at the point of tears. “Lilly... would you kindly SHUT THE FUCK UP.” Or maybe not. “What the FUCK is with you and ripping on Lem at every FUCKING opportunity. I don’t give half a Centaur shit what you think of Lem, but fuck, he’s MINE, and I’m going to trust him.” I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so incensed, especially not since she and Lem finally shacked up.

“I don’t have any fucking problem with him. I like Lem, he introduced me to magic rye and gave me some of the best advice I’ve ever gotten. I’m sorry for what I sai-”


There was a red mark on Lilly’s face. “No you’re not.” Kikki turned around and walked for the door. “Tell Lem I’m waiting outside.”

Lem walked in with the tarp. “The tarps were to the left. What the fuck just happened?” I’ve heard stories about when Lem Fearghaile gets mad. None of them good. Then again most of the big name knights are like that, but still.

“We got to talking and Kikki got concerned about your... expertise around a sex shop. Things got a bit out of hand. I think we fucked up. I’m sorry Lem. Shes waiting outside.”
“Ah, damnit...” Lem started walking for the door.

Lilly was still fuming, and now holding her cheek. “Is it true?”

Lem stopped and turned around. “What true?”

“That Kikki was your first.”

“What the fuck’s it to you?” Lem was clearly pretty pissed about his lady.

“You clearly know far more about this sort of thing than Joe Blow. Are you lying to her. Shes one of my first friends, I don’t want anyone hurting her.”

“Well if you MUST know, I used to work at a place like this. Security. Ask Jim about a place called Greewich Villiage. I fucking hated it. Now is the inquisition satisfied?”

“Y...Yes.” Lilly said mekly

“You didn’t learn fucking anything did you. I thought you knew better by now...”

“H-here, let me get that for you...” I said to break the tension. I lead Lem through the door curtain to the counter. I made sure the anti-theft spell was off and handed it back. “No charge”

“I don’t need the charity...”

“No, but Kikki might. I’ll make sure Lilly apologizes and means it.”
Tarps? You mean the big blue sheets used to prevent the bottom of tents from getting wet, as well as other useful things? I have to know how camping gear became fetish gear.
Lem paused for a moment, temper subsiding. “Thanks, you guys being friends mean alot to Kikki. I just hope that Lilly sees that sooner than later.” He seemed to notice what I was thinking. “Don’t worry, we’ll be around the store... when Lilly isn’t.”

“I’ll make sure you guys get a special discount.” I said with a wink.

Lem walked out the door. And barely a second after Lilly fell to the ground.

“I fucked up big time. Why do I keep doing crap like this. Meina, I am going to go take a walk, would you mind watching the store.”

I tried to stop her, but she would have none of it. Leaving me all alone in a damn sex shop. The damn place is no fun by oneself and the atmosphere of suck seems to be hanging around. I sat back behind the counter, pulling out a notebook and started to scribble when the door flung open again.
Son you got much to learn. Its to keep the excess off the floor for easy cleaning. Importnat if a girl is a squirter. Which Kikki is.

“That was a quick walk.” I said not bothering to look up from my poem.

“What’s wrong with Lilly? She seemed down.” said Kuro

“Oh Hey, Kuro, Bella. She fucked up. Lilly got into a fight with her best friend. But lets not talk about that. No reason to drag you two into this mess. Lets get down to the goods” I said trying to redirect the subject.

“I hope she can work everything out.” Kuro nods in agreement.

“How have you been lately?”

“All things considered, pretty good. Jims out finishing up his next book. Lilly was making progress and I’m with child.”

“You’re pregnant? That’s really good news, I’m happy for you.”

“Yeah, Lilly keeps joking its hers. But of course it doesn’t work like that, as much as she may wish it did. So how about you two?”

“Still looking for slavers. Tanash has them all hiding under their beds. Otherwise, normal daily life, nothing really exciting.”

“Yeah, he has quite the reputation doesn’t he. You could try something else. I heard tell of a pack of wild demons running about the Knoll wastes. Course that would be a lot more dangerous, but it would be really impressive.

“Should get some enchanted gear if we go demon hunting...”
“Silver works on everything weaker than a Demon Lord. Except succubi. Trust me, silver doesn’t even slow a succubus down.”

“Silver? I think I had a few silver weapons at some point. I wonder if they're still in that cave.”

“No one from the village had taken anything from the cave, unless you said they could. My family should still be holding onto some of your stuff too. It’d be nice to go visit them.”

“Let’s ask Giovanni about that next time we get a chance.”

“You know I’ve been wondering, dragons live a long time. How old are you anyway? Course I don’t want to offend. Its just that Jim is working on a piece about dragons. And it made me curious.”

“My age? I never bothered with keeping track, never seemed to serve a purpose to me. I think I may be about 40 years old? Give or take a decade.”

“Well that’s a better answer than Jim got from all the dragons he talked to. He said all he could get out of them was I don’t know or I forgot.”

“A lot of the older dragons seem to forget anything they consider trivial. They don’t like it when we young ones ask them questions about those things, we have to go search for answers ourselves. Most never do though.”
“So you probably don’t know of the lost dragon city then.”


“Yeah we were out adventuring one day when we were beset by the biggest dragon I have ever seen and then it just landed and made small talk for like forever. But he told a story about a lost dragon city, only known to its inhabitants and ancient dragons. No clue why he told us. I think he was pulling our legs, but Jim thinks there might be truth to the story.”

“Can we come along if you ever go searching for it? I’d like to see a city of Kuro’s people.”

“Of course, besides the old dragon said we would need a dragon to find it. We should go search for it sometime. That would get you guys a knighthood for sure. High adventure and finding a lost city and Dragons. People love stories with Dragons.”

“That would be exciting!” Bella exclaimed nearly jumping into the air.

Kuro nodded absentmindedly. “Now... This isn’t why we came here. So Meina... What was that about a gift?”
“Lilly and I were talking and we decided that was a really mean trick that we pulled on you, so a proper apology gift this time. Pick something out I promise no tricks. Well unless of course that’s what you want.”

“We? Did you plan that out? I thought it was just Lilly and Jim that day.”

“Well it was, but I could have come and saved you from the enchantment before things happened, cause Lilly told me about it when she got home. And I feel bad about that part.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Thank you for offering to give us something. And can you tell Lilly that we won’t mind if she comes visit us sometime. You and Jim are welcome too.”
Weeellll then. We just learn new fascinating facts about these characters every day.

I'm going to try and get something up in the next few days homework load permitting.

“I don’t want any more funny stuff from Lilly. She’s a good person, but that doesn’t make her very likable...” Belle looked down and started playing with her ring.

“She is learning that the hard way, slowly. And I made Lilly promise, no more giving people funny stuff without telling them.”

“I think she could be everyone’s best friend if she stopped fooling around.”

“Probably, maybe someday she will. But enough about that let’s find you something good.”

“We’ve never been in a place like this before, so can you show us around? And nothing enchanted, I’d like for Belle to be willing to use whatever we get too.”

“Ok then the grand tour, minus the magic stuff. Follow me into this mad realm.” I said throwing back the curtain for the normal side of the store. I was feeling a little bit of showmanship coming out in me. I blame the poetry.

Then I helped the girls pick out something nice and after that we went to the Rouge Trader and played card games till the sun came up.
That happens when you pair the two most prolific writers and also the two most deviant. Also hardly new. It was mentioned in Sir Fearghailes erotica piece
Forgot to put Fluffy in the subject field my bad
>how can you into sex if you're a virgin
there are how to videos for EVERYTHING
though for some reason i can't connect to TPB right now
After days of descending the dungeon, three adventurers arrived at the final trial; the sphinx. A wise and ancient beast, whose purpose is to gauge the intelligence and worthiness of those who approach it.

“Halt, those who seek to discover the secrets of my lair! You may pass, but only if I deem you worthy to do so. I shall ask you a question, and how you answer will determine your fate. There is no single correct answer; this is a test of your skill and ingenuity.”


“Excuse me?”

“That’s the answer, isn’t it? ‘Four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, three in the evening.’ Right?”

The Sphinx ate the adventurer in one gulp, and turned to the second.

“You see before you, a box. As you can see, inside this box are three lights and on its outside are three switches. Each switch goes to a light, and the box can not be closed once opened. You can not manipulate the switches once the box is open.

“Your task is to determine which switches go to which lights.”

The adventurer looked at the box, puzzled. After much thought, he took his dagger and carved a hole in the lid.

The sphinx furrowed her brow, then brought her mighty paw up. She then brought it down on the poor adventurer, crushing him and the box.

She produced a third box and turned to the last remaining adventurer.

Without missing a beat, he toggled two of the switches and sat down.

“So, how are things?”


“Well, it’ll take a little while for the light bulbs to heat up. I might as well fill the time with some idle conversation.

“Honestly, I thought I’d seen the last of those lateral thinking puzzles when I left the Outrealm.”

Note: I was told this story when I’d asked why there was a two-ton cat living by the trading district. Apparently she’s acclimating rather well.
Hey everyone, just got back from...school.

Just wanted to know if you were all fine with my depictions of "Bizarre" or "Alien" cultures.

Cause the next one, well, let's just say I have blended Zoidberg, the Geth and the Illithids together.

Hopefully the first part will be polished when the next thread is up.

Loving the influx of newbies here.
Ooh, sounds interesting. I say go for it.

By the way, what are your main influences? (And if you haven't seen any of his stuff, check out Wayne Barlowe.)
Uhhh, influences?

Well, this was really the first time I've ever posted anything on the Internet anywhere (long time lurker, first time poster).

Got interested browsing sup/tg/
Had a haunting dream, wrote it down, and the rest is history.
Really, I was planning on writing more worldbuilding stuff, but then it just went on to see how well I could mimic other writing styles. A bit of Reilly, some Pratchett humour, realpolitik, D. Brown's consipraciness...

(Thanks for the recommendation.)

F'rinstance, I've got a story planned for the Southern Wastes that requires me to read up on Sues and Livejournal.I do not welcome the experience
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A dream? Huh. I wasn't expecting that, but it makes a lot of sense. I can see the other stuff, too. We get inspiration from the oddest places at times, don't we?

For example, that sphinx story? Off the top of my head, I can cite the Sir Styx story Fearghaile wrote last thread, Monster Girl Quest part 2, and most importantly The Daily WTF.

Also, Livejournal? Oh boy.
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While I'm here, I might as well throw out a few ideas I'd had for the Coininoch.

First, there's different clans. This allows for different authors to write their own flavor of Coininoch, just in case you don't want to use them in the same way as another author.

I imagine one of these clans has an interest in technology, hence the boots and potentially other awesome stuff.

I'm not too sure about this idea, but I was thinking that the various clans would have something halfway between the Olympics and a ritual war every so often. This is probably tied into clan politics, to boot. Regardless, it should make for fun and interesting times with our foreign dignitaries.

Speaking of whom, I was planning on using Fearghaile and GearHeart's characters. Fearghaile's a natural fit, given the diplomatic nature of the visit. GearHeart's there mainly because of a joke I want to include, but I imagine he and his entourage will have their roles.

Hm. Fearghaile, Kikki, GearHeart, Lilly, Meina, Olin, Cerran, and Wilhelm. I don't think I've written anything with such a large main cast before; this'll be interesting.

(On a tangent, I suggest the recent Avengers movie to anyone wanting to write something with a large main cast. It does a great job of keeping everyone relevant, especially given the runtime.)

Pic related is this setting.
Not seen the Avengers yet... Really want to see the others first.

I can see the clans being slightly different, though not too much so. Think about it; real-world Scottish clans weren't drastically different from one another and the Coininoch are mainly a warrior society, with great emphasis placed upon clan and personal honour and pride. They're by no means arrogant and mostly, insulting one another is taken in good fun, but if you give real offence, you'd better be prepared to face the whole clan.

The major differences between clans would likely be the goods they produce; be they wool cloth and mutton; vegetables; ironmongery; milk, cheese, beef and leather; warriors or clever little doo-dahs. Frankly, given they live on the far edge of the Gnoll Wastes, the doo-dah makers likely would be regarded as (adopt a Scottish accent here), "Eccentric and not much use tae anyone, but mostly harmless."

I like the idea of the Highland Games though. Can't have Scottsbunnies without caber tossing, hammer-throwing, sword-dancing, brawling, stone-chucking and the occasional friendly duel!

If I may, I'd like to call dibs on their discovery by Teegee? I came up with them, after all. If someone else really wants to write it, I'm not un-reasonable, but I'd kind of like a chance to make up for my past gaffes with something new and neat.
I don't see why not.
You guys are giving me pretty much free reign if I don't conflict on anything you mention. Which is a lot of slack.
Nearly done re-writing chapter 1 of my new contribution. I'll stick it on google docs and link you fine gentlemen (and lady, it seems), there tonight, after my Rogue Trader game.

I hope I did it right this time...
If the game is called Rogue Trader, is the bar "meant" to be called the "Rouge" Trader?
Or is it just the victim of a horrible misspelling epidemic?

The Rogue=Rouge problem does seem to come up a lot when dealing with spell-check and not proofreading.
Unless someone's getting into the trade of red makeup, that is.

Moving right along, I'm wondering what I should write on next. I touched on demons as much as I dare, I'm debating on where to take the bits about the dire wolves, and I don't feel like doing much else on the Abyss at the moment.
Why not a bit of slice-of-life from a waifu perspective? Don't know if you've fleshed out all of their characters that well, so maybe hear a bit about the orchard?

I'm probably going to start working on something concerning marital rites since no one has done more than brush it over. Anyone else wanna join me on a Union Day piece?
That might work. I can't really say I've fleshed them out much at all. Bit hard to since most of my stories read similar to a codex entry.

I like a challenge.
Damn, when writing this I realized how little description I'd put into any of my character's appearance.

I'm going to have to fix that.
I have only the vaguest of descriptions.
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That's what Sir Gary is for!
True, but looking back through my stuff, I have no descriptions at all aside from stating their race and a few habits here and there.

Normally I wouldn't care, but after nearly 20k words, it's a bit depressing to realize I have only a vague idea of what everyone looks like.
I know what all of my characters look like, but no one else does.

How can he help us?
Should I post more scaley amusement here?
Please. I rather enjoyed it so far. Unless you mean pics, in which case remember that this is still technically a worksafe board, and thus we should post the more scandalous things on /d/.
Just more story;. It seems to be a three part.
A bit about the biology of lamias.

Bear with me, it will all make sense in a moment.

When people talk about lamias, what they actually mean is nagas. Lamias were actually not snake people, merely child devouring monsters. They became associated with snakes more from recent poetry and faerie tale than actually having snake traits from the myths. More importantly, people tend to focus more on the 'woman' aspect than the 'snake' aspect of a lamia. The side effect of this is people thinking of them as graceful, beautiful, delicate creatures with the serpentine body as an after thought.

First, snakes are fast. I don't mean just biting fast. I mean they move fast. A normal snake can move at the speed of an average person's slow walk, and they're only two or three feet long. Larger size means more ground covered, because the muscle to body ratio of a lamia doesn't change at all; their lungs and hearts, are effectively increased in volume in the same manner, unlike most human-taur hybrids. That mean they can maintain their movement speed at the same ratio as well....which is a hell of a lot faster than a normal person can walk.
Second, endurance. Part of what makes most taur-like races have only a little bit higher than normal human endurance is their hearts and lungs are not capable of delivering blood fast enough to the extremities for them to avoid fatigue. A snake doesn't have that problem – their heart is an elongated tube that lies alongside their elongated lung, which travels right through the middle of all those muscles they use for movement. At a guess, a lamia's second lung is in their chest and mostly used for talking; snakes have a smaller second lung as well, so it would make a strange sort of sense. So the delivery of oxygen to muscle is quick and far more efficient given they're isn't a lot of excess travel time.

Finally, fat. You don't see too many overweight lamias outside of civilized areas. That's because of how much they eat compared to how they digest. A snake digests slowly, and most of what it digests is stored as fat. But a snake's body is elongated and densely muscled, so the fat is stored along the length of the body, which hides it. Fat takes the place of food when they burn calories – say, traveling long distances at speed. As a result, not only do they not need to eat, but their already efficient blood-muscle delivery system means fat breaks down fast and is delivered as energy to the muscles almost immediately. So they can travel at speed for long distances without stopping for any reason other than water....which they don't lose any of from sweat in any case.

The net result is that I had a very anxious, hyperactive young lamia who was terrified for the safety of her egg slithering circles around me, since my walking speed without medications was hardly better than that of someone four times my weight trying to jog uphill in the middle of summer carrying a piano.
“No, I can't move any faster. If I do, I'll be useless when we reach our goal, because I won't be breathing very much. Less breath, less brains. I want all my wits about me when I deal with anything Fey.” I can trudge along forever, but that's what it is, trudging. It wasn't too far into the Wastes, thank deities, but it was a half a day's travel for her, which made it closer to two for me. “Tell me about this creature. What did he look like, how did he defeat the other heroes?”

Jaculye wrung her hands and fidgeted, all the while undulating smoothly along and between obstacles, hardly looking at where she was going. “He was small, most of the time. He had a long, kind of flat head, and he walked really stooped over, like trolls do.” I tried not to think about that too much – most of what people called trolls were actually a kind of ogre. Real trolls were terrifying. “It had really long ears, with rocks shoved into his earlobes. He had a lot of carved stones and rings in his hair, all knotted in. His feet were really big and flat, and his hands were really big and flat too.”

She slid around a tree and back towards me, and I had to pause, leaning on the stout oak staff that served me as a walking stick now, looking up at her worried face. “Why are you asking about that? Does it matter? He's a faerie, that's all that really matters, isn't it?” Her large golden-hued eyes shimmered at me and I felt my heart melt a little, despite the cold hearted facade I was trying to keep up.

“It does matter. Did he have a tail? If he did was it tufted at the end or not?”
It took her a moment to recover her wits., my seemingly innocuous question making her even more impatient. “Why would it have a tail? Do some have tails? How can that make a difference?” Her body was starting to bunch up behind her and I could tell she was getting angry. It was very hard to hide my relief from her.

“I didn't think it would have a tail, but since it's a child-thief I had to be sure. It sounds very much like a spriggan, Jacki-Jaculye. The broad hands and feet keep it stable while it carries stones on it's head or back to place at the standing stone circles. There's another thing too. The stones woven into its hair and placed in its ears. Most people think of Fey as Seelie and Unseelie, Spring and Winter, all the dualities. What most people don't realize is that Fey aren't that organized.” I started walking again and she slowly drifted into place beside me, rather than moving haphazardly along my general path. “The stones mark it as an earth-bound creature, something with stronger ties to the slow growth of mountains and cliffs than green and growing things. That means it's patient and stubborn, but predictable and reliable in certain ways. It definitely won't hurt your child – they're builders and guardians, not wreckers or killers.”

Her eyes filled with tears and she smiled....and then picked me up and hugged me. My startled yelp did nothing to deter her either; she buried her face in my shoulder and hissed words into the fur lining of my coat near my neck that I didn't have the slightest understanding of. I suspected it was on the lines of “thank you.” When I tapped her with my stick she relaxed, and I could breathe again, which was fairly unpleasant. She hadn't bruised my ribs, but it had been close.
She put me down, and I crouched, supporting myself on my staff and breathing heavily. True, she hadn't injured me, but the walk was doing me in, and not breathing even for the brief hug had left me exhausted and trying to catch my breath. She stared down at me, and her tongue flickered several times as I caught my breath. “You're really sick, aren't you....”

“Nothing....nothing death won't cure....” The words came out husky and dry. I gave up and went to my knees, and pulled out the flask I'd brought. Two quick draughts later and I was gasping for breath for an entirely different reason, but the fire in my chest and stomach eclipsed the pain in my lungs. I felt the muscles relaxing, felt the air flowing more freely. There was a good reason most tuberculosis victims in the old west had been heavy drinkers and hadn't gotten very drunk despite that.

Watching me anxiously, Jaculye was visibly relieved when I stood up and started walking again. I slung the small sack with my meager provisions and the few tools I dared bring with me over the other shoulder, and I sighed. “The tail is important because it marks the difference between what people call a troll, and what really is a troll – particularly one of the huldra. They're guardians too....but they're a lot less....kind.” I was understating the matter drastically. The only way we would have retrieved her egg from such a thing was in trade....and there were horrific instances of what they would trade and the conditions the goods would be returned in. “It didn't sound like one of those from the start, but making sure is the best way to keep us safe.”
It was getting late, and cold, and we made camp near a dead-fall – carefully checked for shelf mushrooms and witch's butter fungus – and while she gathered stones for a fire pit, I made a lean-to out of fallen and leafy branches and twine tied to the dead-fall. I carefully stacked the firewood – something every Outsider had learned to do during the dread winter – and gathered the tinder in my hands. I closed my eyes and experienced

>the dry twigs and tinder on the cement
>the glistening glass in my small, perfect child's hand
>the sunlight falling all around me
>the light stolen from the sun next to me gathered in the glass
>the bright white hot pinpoint of light shrinking on the twigs and dry grass
>the first wisps of smoke rising from the tinder
>the bright flare of burning smoke as the fire caught
>the smell of smoke and pine burning
>the surprising heat from the glass leaving a burn on my jeans
>the sound of the tinder popping and crackling

Without opening my eyes I set the tinder in it's place under the branches I'd set for just this purpose and then sat back, waiting until the sounds and smell from my memory became something real before looking at the results. A small but respectably strong fire rested under the branches, and Jaculye was staring at me, wonder and a little fear in her eyes. I smiled slightly. “You wanted to find a witch....it's a little silly to be afraid of her now. “
Shaking off the momentary enthrallment, she slid slowly around the fire, curling herself near the stones but not quite touching them, and joined me under the meager shelter, my back against the log, her next to me, lying on the blanket I'd spread. I wasn't going to be comfortable no matter how I slept, so I didn't bother doing anything more than pulling my arms into my coat to wait for the fire to become respectable. My fingers were cold, and not the ones I still had, damn it.

“Tell me about the warriors who tried to help you. How many contests were there, and what did he say to the people who challenged him?”

Jaculye, seemingly unconcerned with the cool air though she was obviously tired (more from worry and fear than exertion, I suspected), considered. “When the first warrior challenged him, he told the warrior that he could chose between strength of arms, strength of will, or strength of heart; he said there would be three tests, and the winner would have my egg. He was so....so arrogant sounding....” She swallowed and blinked back tears.
I hated making her relive this, but I had to know. She'd already revealed that the test was winnable – one test would be a pointless effort, it was meant to be failed and kill the person who tried it. More than three and it was a trap meant to ensnare the fool forever in Fey-lands. Three was the magic number, as always: beginning, middle and end.

“The first one chose arms, naturally, being a knight....I didn't want him to get hurt, but he tried it anyways. He used his sword, and the fey used a rock. The....spriggan, the spriggan blocked every swing of the sword with the rock, then he hit the knight with it. He broke the knights sword, then dented his shield, and then broke his arm. He laughed and the knight had to ride home for healing. I....I couldn't leave, not all the way back to Castle Waifu....not then. But after the second warrior....I knew.”

She swallowed, and I undid my coat, and set it aside, fur lining out to soak up some heat from the now strong fire. The second one chose heart. They each told a story. I had to stop listening after the knight told the first one, ti was so....so sad, so horribly sad. They each told a story in turn, but the last one....the last one, the spriggan told.”
I turned and rested against the log on my side, so I could see her face. She wore a masque of grief and pain, not just her own, but for the people who'd tried to help her. I didn't begrudge her the desperate plea for my help, she couldn't have known of the geas on me; her pain for the ones who'd tried to help her and her misery at their failure were huge. That pain would eat her alive, until she would make any bargain with the fey to regain her egg.

Which was the whole idea, of course.

“The spriggans story was so sad, so....powerful, the warrior was crying, sobbing. The spriggan actually had his arm about the warrior's shoulder, c-comforting him. I can't imagine what he'd told the knight.” I had my suspicions, and unfortunately, it looked like my role in the faerie tale was set. I wasn't surprised, it was somewhat inevitable. That was the nature of the Fey. If it hadn't been me, it would have been someone like me enough to have an even chance of winning, unlike the first two knights. The first one hadn't had a chance. The second one had been a well fought, but ultimately losing battle. The last had to be a win, or there would be no challenger who could win – ever.

Those were the Rules.
“....that was when I knew it had to be someone who could beat magic. I had to leave my egg. He said he'd stay there for one full moon, but it only took me a little while to get to the castle. It....it was the only place I could think of to find help, even though the knight from TeeGee had failed.” She sobbed a little, and curled up into herself, holding herself tightly.

Something so powerful, so strong, so fast, reduced to a blubbering little girl woke something very unpleasant, very vicious in me. It didn't happen much, not here, not after I was forced to suffer through the incurable sickness that made me nearly useless, but by gods and devils, I hated to see people in pain. It was an effort to put it back under a stranglehold....feeling that deep, that much would only cause me pain right now and I still had miles to walk tomorrow.
I picked up my coat and started arranging it. “Lean against me.” Another of those huge blinks, and a tear rolled down her cheek. I studiously avoided looking directly at her. This was unwise of me to begin with. “Lean against me. It's going to be cold, soon, and the fire isn't going to last all night. My coat's big enough for us. Well, some of you, and all of me, anyways.” I settled back against the log, and opened my arm to her. She settled against me, her arms wrapped around her waist as she stared at the fire. I covered us both up to our chins in my fire-warmed coat lining. She was soft and surprisingly warm, which made me wonder about her species again. Then again, her coils around the fire were soaking up plenty of heat, so it shouldn't have been too strange.

But there were thoughts forming in the back of my mind that were starting to tell a different story. Something more was going on here, especially if she was a cobra-breed of lamia. And if she wasn't...then what was she really?

I tried very hard to ignore the voice in the back of my mind, coming from about the left shoulder area, that whispered 'fucking beautiful, you stupid twit!'

Sir Gary is the Knight Quartermaster with a photographic memory. He's a people watcher, and thus he makes a good external frame to describe what your character looks like and the general perceptions people have of them (positive and negative) without having to worry about the wank of being a speshul snowflake as much.
I grumbled as I lifted my face from the table I was resting on. I looked around, trying to remember where I was. I then looked up and saw Sir Victor walk past me. He stopped and sat down next to me.
“So it seems you are awake.” He said with a bright smile.
“How long have I been out?” I asked with a yawn.
“A few hours now,”
I looked out the window to see it was really dark out. “Aw, damn. I hope Shey isn’t worried about me.” He gave me a puzzled look, “She offered me stay at her house and I took her up on the offer.” I explained quickly. “Now I had best be going.” I said, getting myself upright and walking towards the door.
“Would you mind if I walked you home?” He asked politely.
“Yes. I would. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself.” I opened the door and began to walk out. He was still behind me.
“It doesn’t matter. Even TeeGee has some creeps lurking about in the shadows. I wouldn’t be able to sleep if I didn’t see to it you came home safely.” He calmly explained. Despite my urge to be unreasonable I had to admit it would be nice to have someone around. It was now easy to see why people stayed in communities.
“Alright then. You may walk me home.” I replied with a curt nod. The streets were rather silent tonight. Or rather I couldn’t hear anything. Dim lanterns lined the roads we walked on. It gave a somewhat calming effect but also slightly melancholy, darkness dulling all color. I heard loud footsteps towards the north of the road we were on. As I turned I saw a child running towards us. The child was swimming in a cloak that flowed behind it. I jumped out of its way as it skidded to a stop. It turned around.
This wasn’t a child. It was a gnome. There were guards coming her way.
“Stop there.” Victor called to her, “Why are the guards after you?”
She grumbled, “Shit. Does this mean I have to worry about you two as well?” She sighed and began muttering under her breath. She snapped her finger and she was gone. The guards had come to meet us.
“Which way did she go?”
“I couldn’t tell you. She had used magic to escape.” Victor stated simply.
“Who was that?” I asked with the raise of an eyebrow.
“A theif. She’s a gnome with black hair and yellow eyes. So, if you two see her again please alert us.”
“Yes sir.” Victor said with a nod.
The rest of the walk home was rather uneventful. When Shey had opened up the door and saw the knight behind it she began asking too many questions. Most of them at least a little annoying. She seems to think things far from the truth.
I slunk off to bed quietly after her maddening questions were over.
Incidentally, friends, the Harem Knights guys are as welcome at the 4chan writefag IRC channel on Rizon as the WHH and SWQ and Oblitus and WritingClass and Emperor Heresy guys are. Float ideas, make critiques, or just hang out.

The channel is #writescribbles
The server is irc.rizon.net
Have Dyriads/Nymphs been introduced yet?
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‘This bed just feels too good to get out of,’ thought Melena contently. She didn’t want to leave the warmth of the covers she shared with the rest of her family, preferring not to greet the cold air of winter. She stuck her head out from under the thick quilt, careful not to shift around and wake everyone else up.

Artorias was still asleep, his black hair sticking out from under the blanket, but that was hardly unusual. Even for an Outrealmer he slept a lot and whenever he wasn’t off adventuring it took an act of the gods to wake him in the morning.

The outline of little Bethany was visible underneath the blankets, a bit of white hair peeking out. That little elf had almost been joined at his hip since he’d liberated her and the other elf women a few years ago, a bit frustrating at times, but so cute the Felim couldn’t help but love her in spite of that.

Karrigan was curled up on the other side of Artorias, her blue hair visible over the elf-lump. She didn’t seem to mind the cold that much, sleeping with her head out from under the blanket like their husband. Melena never understood how they managed that, but she supposed they were just more used to those climates.

She looked over at the window and, sure enough, the sun was starting to come up. She noticed about that time that Prescilla wasn’t there. Not unusual since the poor thing rarely sleeps for very long, especially in the winter. She was probably already in the silk sheds feeding the worms. She did that a lot in the winter when nobody wanted ice cream. With a sigh, Melena slid out from under the covers and made for her cloths, bringing them back under the covers with her. She had learned a few tricks from her husband, especially anything involving laziness.
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i mentioned having a dryad for a neighbor but other than that i don't think so
also, speaking of neighbors, has totoro been introduced yet? because if not i call dibs
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The other two girls started to stir, Bethany curling up into a tighter ball and Karrigan rolling over enough to grab her cloths from a chair next to the bed and pulled them under the blanket, still half asleep. That seemed to be the habit in this household, especially on cold mornings. The Felen girl had an idea for how to wake Artorias up though. She slid over an nibbled his ear a bit then whispered “it’s time to wake up.” He was awake all right, a bit stupidly, but awake.

She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him upright, making Bethany roll off on top of Karrigan, knocking her awake. “Come on sleepyhead, it’s time to get ready to greet the day.”

He got up and, with a little help, got his armor on, but not before tucking Bethany back in. She could sleep in more than the rest of them since Ooliciale wasn’t open for breakfast and Artorias wasn’t going anywhere today.

Everyone went downstairs to the kitchen where a few cinders still smoldered in the stove, the pot of water sitting on top of it still thawed. A few small logs and some pine starter later, the kitchen was warmed up a bit and the trio set about making breakfast. Ham and eggs plus some cheese and something called grits, made from ground up corn that Artorias had gotten the others hooked on. Prescilla and Bethany joined them when they had the table set and had started to serve the food. Meals were always a social thing whenever everyone was home, everyone discussing what they had planned for the day. Artorias was supposed to be reviewing his trainees today to see if they were ready for further training, Karrigan was supposed to be getting a new shipment of scarves and mittens in sometime today, and Melena was likely going to be at the training field, amusing herself with how helpless some of the newer recruits were. Prescilla and Bethany would both be helping out at Ooliciale later on. There was supposed to be a few new bards there later on.
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Melena wore a heavy fur cape similar to her husband’s at the training field, hiding deep within its folds as she watched the love of her life berating one of his trainees for bad form or some other such transgression. She reflected back on how much he had changed during the years since they had met, going from the half-starved creature barely clinging to life her people had come across, barely knowing how to handle a weapon, to the powerful creature that stood here today, barking instructions to people eager to learn from him and his fellows. The Harem Knights as a whole had come a long way in that time, fending off elves, orks, and diplomats at every turn, making things as comfortable for those under their rule as they could.

That night everyone went to our pub. The Rogue Trader might be the most popular spot in town, but for anyone who preferred a quieter place to unwind at the end of the day would find none better. The bards from out of town weren’t bad, all things considered, but it was pretty obvious most of their songs were intended for a more human audience. The food was good, at least.
And there's my first attempt at something a bit more descriptive. Hopefully it wasn't too bad.
I was planning on having my story be the first meeting with the Coininoch, but I think it'd be best if I let you have that honor. Instead, this will be one of the subsequent meetings.

I'm looking forward to your next contribution.

Now to 1) have breakfast and 2) catch up on the writefaggotry.
I enjoyed. Felt very domestic, but don't be afraid to go into the specific chatter. Witty banter creates rapport and endears the characters to the reader. I can definitely see Artoria's harem as something of an adorable big happy family type thing.

Get a Harmonica. Believe it or not, as a therapeutic device, a good mouth harp has gotten people off of inhalers. Anyway, great work. Can't wait for the thrilling conclusion!

Olin, you should write about the institution Lem is sponsoring! Or at least some of the initial set-up in 3AA. At the same time, he'd probably sponsor you for at least honorary Knighthood, due to your service to the realm as scribe and archivist.
Institution? I must've missed something.

As for the Knighthood, I think Olin would probably too humble to accept it. Until his better half convinces him otherwise, anyway.
so this city of the dragons, has it been expanded on anymore than this post?
we need our wyrmlings educated
also, why did i write out the word wyrmlings before the word children?

Me and Gearheart are working on it. You're welcome to join in too.
Oh yes, that. Which reminds me, a while ago (thread 4 or so) I'd written a story from the perspective of a schoolteacher. I'm not sure if I should use him, though.

Also, I'd mentioned Olin giving lectures in his library. I imagine once the institution was set up, he moved his lessons there. Also, it's not entirely unreasonable for him having a hand in creating it, given his tenure at Stanford. (I'd mentioned this in his dealings with Aixys and Ayxis.)
What do you guys think of me writing in the perspective of Victor?
> “You wanted to find a witch....it's a little silly to be afraid of her now. “

Her? I thought the character was male from the earlier part...
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i'm sorry, but i have to post this, the nation of Dee requires it be posted
Well You have my permission for what its worth
Good to hear.

>Hugh Fromane
I'm picturing a black Felim with an afro singing soul music.
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>Speaking of whom, I was planning on using Fearghaile
It seems I missed this. For what it's worth, I'm good for it too, just send me a copy so I can keep some QC, because how he acts hanging around Kikki is a bit different than his interactions with others.

Oh, and for the record, the Kanin already do Olympics/Ritual War with their non-lethal blades. The Coininoch would go great with this too, which is STILL why I think they should be from the northern parts of the Snarltooth Islands. But I suppose it's too late now.
Damn't it you fell into its trap. Seduce it with your mind powers.
Well, witch is a primarily female term. I know it's not exclusive, but is male the first gender that comes to mind in regards to the word witch?
Hey you want to get in on the city of dragons. then email me
If anyone wants to write something with me feel free to send me an Email.
No, but the word "Beard" in the first post indicates either male, or circus people.
Its the bearded lady! quick get me my sword.


Oh god fuck the sword bring the howitzer

ANd then GearHeart does battle with the clown people from SPACE
And then TeeGee went to war with the planet Cirque Du Facial Haired Maidens. (Sorry that wasn't clever or all that funny. I'm too tired to be clever)
autosaging and page 10, we may need a new one
You Lyrik. Email me or check your email city of dragon time

Quick! Archive it.

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