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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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In the age of steel will come a time of chaos. The earth will rot, the winds doomed to fail and natures' creatures enraged. In the time of chaos, the great Mad King will return to ravage the land that had forsaken him. But, in the hour of great darkness, a Chosen One shall emerge. He alone will have to power to vanquish the Mad King.

And you've just killed him. Sucks to live in the age of steel.

Who are you anyway?
1: A noble knight on a constant quest for
JUSTICE
2: An old elven general who thought she was retired.
3: The most awesome sorcerer who ever lived.
4: A necromancer. Evil motherfucker. Kicks puppies.
5: A professional treasure hunter. Not a thief at all.
6: Broody anime jackass with a ridiculously huge sword and stupid hair.
>>
>>21661772
4, all the way.
>>
>>21661772
3. I'm fairly awesome.
>>
>>21661772
>3: The most awesome sorcerer who ever lived.
>>
6, except the thing is we are angst filled by the fact that the Field of Narrative Causality forces us into this role.
>>
>>21661772
2, 3 and 4. At the same time.
>>
>>21661772
6. Because everyone knows japanese weapon tech > western weapon tech
>>
6. Because Katanas can cut through even the HARDEST armor. Ive seen them cut through tanks before!
>>
>>21661894
Are you advocating J-RPG protagonist Number 987 as possessed by Deadpool?
>>
>>21661976
Basically, with a total of 74 belts, they appear at random while he is asleep and no matter how many he takes off more always appears.
>>
>>21662014
I should warn you and the thread that I only have internet osmosis knowledge of said character so I doubt my capacity to do a decent pastiche.
>>
>>21662014
And don't forget the random powerups he gets while fighting a hard battle. And while he has his powerups, his hair grows longer, and spikier.
>>
>>21662014
He should just take a lot of naps and sell the belts, instead of going around killing chosen ones.
>>
Rolled 69

>>21661935
This
>>
I think 3 would be funnier.

Or >>21661935.
>>
>>21662035
That's perfect, we need to make his as stereotyped as possible, and hate that fact.
>>
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1
>>
>>21661935
Yep.
>>
1:1
2:0
3:5
4:3
5:0
6:3

5 minutes left
>>
4, fuck the living.
>>
>>21661772
4 I want to sit on my ass while my armies take over the world for me.
>>
4. I fucking hate puppies.
>>
Necromancer treasure hunter. Why risk our lives in the traps when a squad of skeletons can just march into the tomb and bring the loot right to us.
>>
>>21662265
We could put chests into the chest cavities of our minions for storage
>>
>>21662158

3
>>
You are the most awesome sorcerer who ever lived. At least in your opinion. From the dragon-blood that flows through your veins, you derive great power that puts you well above all the mongrels of the world. At least you think you get your power from dragon ancestors that you may or may not have. The dragon-blood thing is what you tell people anyway. You would like to know where you actually get your power though...
1: It actually is dragon blood. Granny was a red.
2: You are hell-spawn/demon-spawn because your grandfather HAD to try that succubus/erinyes.
3: You are actually the pet project of a member of the fairy court. You are not actually a sorcerer, you are a mutant fairy.
4: Insert elemental here for boring rock-paper-scissors powers.
5: An angel. No, you don't have wings. An you suck at playing the lyre.
>>
>>21662257
>>21662260
>>21662265
>>21662295
Oops. Should have posted cut-off
>>
>>21662314
1.

Our Grandmother was a dragon, we visit her occasionally when we can and she makes spectacular cookies.
>>
>>21662333
This.
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>>21662314
3.
>>
>>21662314
2
>>
>>21662200
>>21662257
>>21662260
Nope, not suspicious in the slightest.

I vote 3.
>>
>>21662314
We're actually a necromancer.
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>>21662333
I like it! 1 it is.
>>
>>21662370
>>21662369
the tally was the cut off he just forgot to type it
>>
>>21662370
Nope, we're a sorcerer. DM says cutoff, there's a cutoff.

Also >>21662369 does not apply to this vote, for this one I vote 1.
>>
>>21662370
Does anyone actually insist on this? I can write a second character intro.
>>
>>21662314

2
>>
>>21662314
3
>>
>>21662406
There is nothing stopping us from deciding to pick up necromancy
>>
>>21662391
Actually, it was 5 minutes after the tally, at which time only one vote for 4 had been made. Which wasn't enough to take the lead.
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>>21662405
Can't we be a necromancing sorcerer ?
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>>21662426
Sorcerous necromancer? Kind of weird. And a tonal shift.
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>>21662426
Depends. What system are we on?
Note there wasn't a wizard on the list.
>>
>>21662406
If I'm allowed I insist to be 2, 3 and 4.
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>>21662406
Just stick with the sorcerer
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>>21662444
Of course there wasn't a wizard. Tg always picks wizard.
>>
>>21662447
No.
>>
>>21662406
I insist against it. Their own fault for not voting quickly enough. Also I suspect samefagging.

Sage for what amounts to gossip and drama.
>>
Anyway, a decent amount of votes so, once again, 5 minutes.
>>
4 X 99

CAPTCHA named us Wiggins mbcamm
>>
If asked how you know you are descended from dragons, you always respond that it is obvious. How else would you explain your mastery of all things fire and fear?. Indeed, your command of flames is genuinely breathtaking; you don't actually know anyone at your level(translation: better than you). As for the fear, the instant you begin casting a potent aura of terror is projected from your person. You have also begun to experiment in two other fields. Which ones were they again?

Pick 2:
1: Spacial magic. Wings are for suckers.
2: Additional elemental magic. Not ice; ice is lame.
3: Divination. Must find gold.
4: Conjuration. You wonder if you can make these permanent..,
5: Illusions. Not that you'd ever admit to it. Hiding is for pussies.
6: Enchantment. Magic.Swords.
7: Mind magic.
8: Shields and stuff. Totally not compensating for lack of scales.
9: Some mundane fighting. For fighting in melee. Like a peasant.
>>
>>21662661
8 and5
>>
>>21662661
1 and 4
might as well fly like a dragon
>>
>>21662661
4, 9. I don't want our ass to get kicked the moment some fucker gets into melee.
>>
>>21662661
4 and 5. Be a magic pansy fag.
>>
>>21662661
1 and 7.
>>
>>21662661

1 and 7

Proper use of Spacial Magic gives all sorts of unique and fun offensive and defensive capabilities.

Mind magic is just always broken.
>>
>>21662860
These are your minor abilities. Think along the lines of line-of-sight teleportation and levitation.
>>
5 minutes till cut-off.
>>
>>21662935
Line of sight teleport 1/day is pretty useless, constantly teleporting around as an impossible-to-hit blur is insanely powerful. If those abilities were intended to indicate a power level without any indication of how they work then they failed.
>>
>>21663027
To cast a spell, you must remain immobile for like 5 seconds. You can only omit chanting and gestures if you are very good at that sort of spell. You can just will fire into existence without a word or gesture, for example. You usually do in-fact go with the chanting because it sounds cool though.
>>
>>21663084
Ok, that's decent. Not very good in combat but very useful for getting around.
It's been 5 mins so it looks like we've got Spacial and Conjuration.
>>
Right, you started working on spatial magic because you wanted to fly. You also looked into conjuration because you convinced yourself you could make your own hoard. That didn't work out, but at least you can do some decent conjurations now. Inanimate objects and minor spirits mostly. Turns out imps are dicks.

Anyway, what do you actually DO with your amazing sorcerous powers?
1: A famed scholar on dragons(you cheat like a motherfucker and claim the results of calling mom to be intensive research)
2: GENTLEMEN ADVENTURER! You have seen many different lives and saved many maidens because no stupid myths are going to tell YOU what to do!
3: Con-Man. You long to separate men from their gold and other valuables. You sell conjured shit.
4: Weird creep who lives on the edge of town. Adventurers will always pay the weird guy on the edge of town a fortune for directions.

Also, are you male or female?
>>
>>21663187
2. Gentle(wo)man ADVENTURER!

Female.
>>
>>21663084
Maybe if you are some faggot wizard. My magus build can use dimension door as a swift action to warp next to an enemy, get off a full attack, then warp 70 feet away.
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>>21663229
Are you lost?
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>>21663205
Seconding this
>>
>>21663187
Con-man. Or con-woman. Don't mind.
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>>21663187
1 male
mommas boy
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>>21663266
conman. Fits with our (unknowingly) demonic background.
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>>21663311
We be a dragon.
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>>21663328
no, we're masters of fucking fire and fear. everybody said 2. we're a fucking demon.
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>>21663345
Are you the same guy who was talking about his awesome magus build earlier?
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>>21663345
Recount it. There were more votes for 1 than for 2. By my count there were 4 votes for 1 and 3 for 2.
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>>21663395
Yeah. Alright. Fuck-it. You win. I'm re-writing everything after that choice. See everyone in 15 minutes.
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>>21663345
by my count dragons got 4, demons got 2 and fairies got 3
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>>21663423
I hope you are kidding OP. Dragons won. You had it right.
>>
>>21663423
Forgot I'm on the internet. That was sarcasm.
>>
Any, 5 minutes to cut-off. Unless someone wants to declare that we are now angels.
>>
>>21663507
We are now angels.

Male Scholar.
>>
>>21663601
too late.
>>
You, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER, have just arrived in the great city of Hy'Lok'Myr'Ack
Bag (Big Ass City) and have found lodging at a loud, packed tavern. You have spent the time since your arrival telling tales of your adventures. You are not ''improving'' your adventures at all. You tell your audience about the time you single-handedly defended a village from a necromancers' undead army. Also the time you incinerated the frost giant chief. And the time you rescued the princess of the elves from the great demon Ixzbit. And the time you puched Cthulhu in the face. Ok, so you might be a tiny bit drunk.

I seem to have forgotten about something...Oh yeah, the Chosen One!

How and why did you kill him anyway?
1: You were out wenching and accidently knocked over a beam that knocked over his head.
2: You recognized that jackass! He's the one that stole the contents of every chest for a 100 miles in every direction. You didn't meant to kill him though but, being drunk, your faculties were somewhat reduced.
3: He killed a small child. Turns out the Chosen One was evil. Go figure.
4: Mistaken identity; you thought he was that corrupt baron coming to take his gold back.

You also need a name. If it's lame, you also need a fake name.
>>
>>21663652
Turns out crossed out words don't copy. That silly name full of apostrophes is supposed to be crossed out.
>>
>>21663652
1.
jeremy smith aka Theodorus Karl Freiherr von und zu Richthofen
>>
>>21663652
3 because killing him by accident is lame. He's not very Chosen if he's that unlucky.

Our name should be some grand shit with loads of apostrophes in it too. Stupid dragon parents. Our fake name should be lame too. We think it's cool of course, but it isn't. Something like Mysteria.
>>
>>21663652
3
Linda Firestarter. The Dragonic name mom gave us is really, really hard to pronounce
>>
>>21663652
>3: He killed a small child. Turns out the Chosen One was evil. Go figure.

"Total douchebag. Kicked puppies, killed children, jaywalked, and made it a point to tip as little as possible."

Our name is Bernadette Ellimere.
>>
I just realized we made Lina Inverse. All that's left is the food.
>>
>>21663693
Oh shit, I forgot we are female.
Ingeborg Kriemhilde Xenia, Baronin von und zu Richthofen
>>
>>21663652
3, Chosen one was a necromancer. Evil motherfucker. Kicks puppies.
>>
5 minutes until cut-off.
>>
>>21663840
Not that since you all wrote in different names, if no one seconds a name I,ll just pick one.
>>
>>21663840
Bernadette Ellimere Ingeborg Kriemhilde Xenia, Baronin von und zu Richthofen. A.K.A, Linda.
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>>21663877
seconded.
>>
>>21663877
Seconding
>>
Character sheet. You have finished character creation.

Name: Bernadette Ellimere Ingeborg Kriemhilde Xenia, Baronin von und zu Richthofen (Linda)
Class: Awesome Sorceror
Profession: GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!
Age: 25
Bloodline: Dragon

Stats:
Strength: D
Agility: D
Constitution: D
Intelligence: B
Willpower: A+
Charisma: A
Wisdom: E-

Magic:
Fire Sorceries: S
Aura of Fear: C
Spatial Sorceries: D
Conjuration Sorceries: D


Bio: You are a dramatic adventurer who is unduly fond of bombast. There is nothing quite like making an awesome entrance followed by a heroic speech. You practice those. Seriously. Every day, in front of the mirror. You killed the Chosen One because he was an evil jackass who kicked puppies.
>>
>>21663904
So we killed the chosen one because he was evil and defiantly not because we wanted to be the hero so bad we practice it in the mirror thats defiantly not it
>>
>>21663904
Looks like a clumsy good-for-nothing wannabe adventurer. This is gonna be fun.
>>
>>21663904
Last night, while you were dazzling the occupants of the inn with one of your amazing stories, a cloaked stranger entered the inn. There was a flash of lightning (which was really weird as it was a nice calm night 2 minutes ago) Anyway, this stranger walks up to the bar and asks for rumours. Like, directly. This is literally what he says: ''Have you heard any rumours?''. He then stands back and waits for an answer. The barman sort of stares at him for about 20 seconds. He then asks what he wants to drink. The cloaked stranger responds: ''That's not what I asked. Is this NPC bugged or something. Ah, fuck it, I have to go to bed in 10 minutes. Killing everyone time''. After that he drew his sword and chopped the bartenders' head off. Do you:
1: Blow his head off. He cut off the booze supply.
2: Blow his head off. He cut off the food supply.
3: Blow his head off. he killed an innocent man.
3: Blow his head off. This guy must be strong.
4: delicate Diplomatic Negotiations. The blow his head off because he's a jackass.
>>
>>21664029
>1: Blow his head off. He cut off the booze supply.
>2: Blow his head off. He cut off the food supply.
>3: Blow his head off. he killed an innocent man.
All of these
>>
>>21664029
1: Blow his head off. He cut off the booze supply.

He killed the bartender, he killed the man who brings us booze without us having to stand up, he did the unforgivable.
>>
>>21664029
5 and 3. Because I dislike jackasses
>>
>>21664029
Ah, man! This post is made of typos. Sorry guys, turns out I can't spell.
>>
>>21664029
1. Blow his head off. He severed the booze supply, he must pay for his actions.
>>
5 minutes until cut-off
>>
>>21664029
3. Also 5, 1, and 2, but most of all 3.

Also, no matter what wins, arguing with him about why he just killed a dude sounds pretty funny, so I hope we end up doing that anyway.
>>
What? Did he just kill the barman? He just killed the barman didn't he? That unbelievable jackass! Fire time! With an mystical arcane chant of ''Fuck you, asshole!'' You make his head go fwoosh! He screams with the full force of some very impressive lungs, tries to stop the fire and fails miserably because you are just awesome like that. His screams are dying down. Ok, he's dead now. You're fairly sure he needed that head to live. ''Haha! One more villain vanquished by Linda, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER! Barman, more beer! ...oh, right...he's dead.'' Anyway, sleep sounds good now. No more food or booze will be showing up anyway. You're not sure whether to keep your room here or go find somewhere else. You do know that you are not drunk enough right now.

1: Sleep here.
2: Pub crawl of Destiny!
>>
2.
>>
>>21664480
2

PUB CRAWL OF DESTINY!! WE SHALL DRINK IN EVERY ESTABLISHMENT IN TOWN!
>>
>>21664480
2, a bar is useless without a barkeep.
>>
>>21664480
2
>>
>>21664480
FOR OUR GLOURIOUS VICTORY 2. And for the unglourious wake up tommrow
>>
Accepting that you are not drunk enough yet, you head out into to wild streets of Bag in search of an inn or tavern filled with peasants to impress and booze to drink. Hopefully you can find a place that serves spiced rum. You acquired a taste for it when you were chasing pirates last year. Just as you are leaving, you start hearing shouts coming from down the street. ''XxKillMasterxX! Where are you? XxKillMasterxX!'' You have no idea how obnoxious that name is when pronounced out loud. It can only have belonged to the roasted jackass!

1: Investigate; starting with a traditional entrance.
2: Ignore it, the spiced rum calls for you!
3: These guys were friends with the jackass! Fire time 2; Electric Boogaloo!
4: Delicate Diplomatic Negotiations. For real. I'm serious. Stop Laughing!
>>
>>21664831
>1: Investigate; starting with a traditional entrance.

We need to use our entrance speech at least once. We practiced it so many times.
>>
>>21664831
>1: Investigate; starting with a traditional entrance.
Followed by
4: Delicate Diplomatic Negotiations. For real. I'm serious. Stop Laughing!
>>
>>21664883
>>21664953
Seconded.
>>
''Greetings travellers, I am Linda, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, and I hold the solution to your predicament. Was this XxKillMasterxX A dark-garbed swordsman who was ever so slightly stunted in the conversation department? If so, he has been vanquished, and you need no longer fear his fwooshy evil. For I, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER, have defeated this villain!'' The group is composed of a knight in full armour(of the shiny variety), a woman in what appears to be underwear, a priestess of some sort, an elf that looks like she has spent the last ten years in the bush and some shady looking dude with beady eyes. They just sort of gape and stare at you.

1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).
2: Wait for one of them to respond.
3: Address one of them in particular.
4: Talk like a civilized being (boring)
>>
>>21665248
>1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).
>>
Maybe I should have started this somewhat earlier.
>>
Guess tg is low on night owls this evening. Or rather morning.
>>
>>21665248
1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).
>>
''Ah, I see you are awed by my magnificence! No need to worry, I expect no compensation for my destruction of the foul XxKillMasterxX. Indeed, it was a privilege to eliminate a scoundrel such as he. There is no need to thank me, the slaying of villains is but part of days' work for Linda, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER! '' The group is still staring blankly in your general direction.

1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).
2: Wait for one of them to respond.
3: Address one of them in particular.
4: Talk like a civilized being (boring)
>>
>>21666051
>1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).

No way in hell are we stopping.
>>
>>21666051
>1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going).
>>
>>21666051
Oh god I just realized Not only is our character like Lina. Shes also like a female version of OTHAR TIRGVOSSEN (I am sure I misspelled that)
>>
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>>21666099
Pic related
>>
>>21666144
Yes, it's a direct reference.
>>
''Ah, still you are struck mute by my presence! I must confess to admitedly being magnificient. Gaze upon the glory passed down along the Richtofen line for at least 3 generations, and possibly more! Gaze upon these flames!'' (you are now wrethed in flames). You think you broke the underwear model. Also, you're running out of lines. You didn't have much time practice recently.

1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going). This is getting hard!
2: Wait for one of them to respond.
3: Address one of them in particular.
4: Talk like a civilized being (boring)
>>
>>21666257
3: Address one of them in particular.

"YOU! SHINY KNIGHT! TELL ME YOUR NAMES SO THAT YOU CAN BE MARKED DOWN IN HISTORY AS THOSE WHO STOOD IN MY PRESENCE!"
>>
3 Mock the girl wearing nothing but underwear
>>
>>21666303
I FIND THIS HILARIOUS AND WE SHOULD RECRUIT THIS KNIGHT
>>
>>21666257
1: Keep going! They are in your thrall!
>>
''You, shining knight! You must be the leader of this group with how resplendent your armour is; how is that you came to chase the foul XxKillMasterxX? Surely a group as mighty as yours is too grand for such a pitiful foe! Also, have you been robbed? On of you seems to be missing her clothes.'' The staring continues. You are on a roll!


1: Continue your speech(they are in awe of your awesome; keep going). This is getting hard!
2: Wait for one of them to respond.
3: Address one of them in particular.
4: Talk like a civilized being (boring)
>>
>>21666708
>2: Wait for one of them to respond.

Let them speak for a second. We must let them recover from their awe so we may awe them once more.
>>
>>21666708
2: Wait for one of them to respond. If they don't respond start poking them.
>>
>>21666729
Seconding this
>>
You decide to give these travellers a moment to recover from being exposed to your glory; not everyone is prepared to stand before one such as you. They, very slowly, seem to recover from their daze. ''Hold, on did you say you killed XxKillMasterxX?'', suddenly blurts out the weathered elf. This question is followed by a mass WHAT!?.

1: Repeat the truth of your victory.
2: Deny your deed
3: Evade. Like a little bitch.
>>
>>21666802
>1: Repeat the truth of your victory.
"He killed the Bartender for no apparent reasons."
>>
>>21666802
>1: Repeat the truth of your victory.

>No compensation is needed, but it would be appreciated.
>>
>>21666802
>1: Repeat the truth of your victory.

"The foul miscreant killed an innocent man. A man who preformed the most noble of tasks, filling my cup with libations and listening to the tales of weary travelers.

How could I do anything else and call myself and ADVENTURER?"
>>
''Indeed, I made the villains' head go fwoosh after he treacherously slew the bartender of a tavern I was frequenting. Rest assured that the foul miscreants' head is now no more than ash! I could not have done less and still called myself a GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!'' Oddly enough they don't seem enthusiastic. The young woman you are beginning to believe to be a lady of the night exclaims with great volume:''Do you have any idea what you have done, you idiotic buffoon?'' Ah, never mind, she's an aristocrat. No one else would be stupid enough to chew out a woman who is currently on fire. Speaking of fire, you allow the flames to die down.

1: Question Miss Rudeness about her shriek.
2: Changed your mind. Back to fire.
3: Talk to someone else.
4: Fuck it! You still have not gotten that drink yet!
>>
>>21666928
2: Changed your mind. Back to fire.

Time spent not on fire is time wasted.

Then question her further about the shrieking.
>>
>>21666928
1: Question Miss Rudeness about her shriek.
But keep the flames up.
"You do realize that you just call a person who is on fire without being harmed a buffoon right? Not the smartest thing to do. So what have a done pray tell? If its something stupid like he was the "Chosen One" I meet one of those every week."
>>
>>21666928
2: Back to fire. AND MAKE IT EVEN HOTTER.
>>
Actually, fire is good. Back to fire. Fwoosh! ''You do realize it's somewhat hazardous to insult someone who is fire, yes? Now, explain the shrieking!'' She looks insulted. ''The man you just killed was the Chosen One!''

1: So? I meet Chosen Ones all the time (Totally not a lie)
2: Really? Awesome!
3: Does mean I'm a prophesied evil? Because that would be absolutely awesome!
>>
>>21667133
1: Yeah. Everyone thinks they're the Chosen One. They're a dime a dozen.
>>
>>21667133
"So? That just means I'm the Chosen One now. I mean I totally killed him and everyone knows that if you can best the chosen one you get the title."
>>
A mix between 1 and 3 if possible
>>
>>21667133

1. " Another one? Where do they keep coming from, would you happen to know Ms. Frosty tits?"
>>
>>21667133
3.

"You mean I'm two for two, now? Awsome!"
>>
>>21667133
1: So? I meet Chosen Ones all the time (Totally not a lie)
"He wasn't very good one either. He literally walked into the bar, asked for rumors, and then cut off the bartender's head. How else am I suppose to react to shit like that."
>>
>>21667133

1

"He's not the first one I killed"
>>
''Yes! Two down, one to go! Just one more and I turn into the chosen one! Chosen One or not, that man was a villain and it was good and just that he be slain!'' ''No, you clown! Now that the Chosen One is dead, nobody alive can stand against the Mad King!'' ''He was a terrible Chosen One anyway; just stormed into the tavern and asked for rumours and chopped the bartenders' head when he got bored! He was an unbelievable jackass!''

1: HAHA! Linda Richtofen, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall take the mantle of vanquishing this great evil!
2: Sucks to be you. Good luck with that great evil.
3: Are you sure? He seemed like a creepy wimp.
4: ''Assistant, write down the score! Oh, right, I don't have one. I need a sidekick.''
>>
>>21667268

2

There is ale that needs drinking, AWAY!
>>
>>21667268
>1: HAHA! Linda Richtofen, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall take the mantle of vanquishing this great evil!

BUT FIRST! DRINKING!
>>
>>21667268
1: HAHA! Linda Richtofen, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall take the mantle of vanquishing this great evil!
"Did you not hear what I just said. I meet Chosen Ones all the time. The story is always the same "Chosen one is the only one who can defeat evil power X or stop great calamity Y". About half of the time those things take care of themselves. Either the evil lord gets overthrow by the people. Or the calamity isn't quite as earth shattering as the prophesy led us to believe."
>>
>>21667356
Stealing verboten.
>>
HAHA! Linda Richtofen, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall take the mantle of vanquishing this great evil!
"Did you not hear what I just said. I meet Chosen Ones all the time. The story is always the same "The Chosen one is the only one who can defeat evil power X or stop great calamity Y". About half of the time those things take care of themselves. Either the evil lord gets overthrown by the people. Or the calamity isn't quite as earth shattering as the prophesy led us to believe." Oops. ''I meant to say that even if the cause appears hopeless, ever shall Linda Richtofen, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, persevere in the quest to vanquish this great evil!'' All are silent for about 10 seconds. ''You do realise he was the Chosen One because of a once-in-a-hundred-years divine blessing, right?''

1: Oh. Well, bugger then.
2: In that case, Linda Richtofen GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall seek out a way of duplicating this blessing.
3: Ok, I'll level with you. This is an act, I'm not actually insane. I stole most of those lines from plays. I'm a fire specialist, so I can't really help you find a new chosen one. (Honest humility. Heresy!)
>>
>>21667526
2: In that case, Linda Richtofen GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall seek out a way of duplicating this blessing.
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>>21667526
2. but if he was really blessed that wouldnt have happened to him lol
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>>21667554
This
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>>21667526

1 Bugger it all, Ale awaits!

captcha: rovflog island (I don't know if there is ale on the Island captcha)
>>
>>21667526
2: In that case, Linda Richtofen GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall seek out a way of duplicating this blessing.
>>
It suddenly dawns on you that you may have been ever so slightly over-enthusiastic in incinerating the head of the brooding jackass but, in your defence, he killed the bartender. It just so happens that you know how divine blessings work. They protect you against evil. Not so much against fire. The footpath will be scorched black for centuries to come. Quick, recovery! ''In that case, Linda Richtofen GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!, shall seek out a way of duplicating this blessing.'' Fuck, fuck, fuck ,fuck. Fuck, fuck!

1: Do this for real. Seriously. Actually go o a quest to get a divine blessing.
2: Start spinning until you find an opening to run away as fast as you can!
3: Admit you have no idea what you are doing (heresy!)
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>>21667735
Stride purposefully off to the bar. We start this with a drink.
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>>21667735
>1: Do this for real. Seriously. Actually go o a quest to get a divine blessing.
Take them to the nearest pub to learn the details of the blessing.
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>>21667735

1 I'll go with popular consensus, even though I really wanted an epic bar-crawl.
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>>21667735
1 we got this
>>
''Worry not, for I am a grand sorceress. The blood of dragons runs through my veins! I give my oath that I shall not rest until this evil is vanquished. '' After you bold declaration, a weary sounding voice pipes up: ''Well, I'm convinced.'' You honestly hadn't expected support from that direction. Elves usually don't like fire. The knight then gives his assent as well:''Indeed, it will be glorious to share our quest with you sorceress. Never shall we falter in the pursuit of justice!''

1: Dude, you have an actual knight. That means you're a lady!
2: See if you can get the rest of this group to work with you. You never know, you might need a banshee!
3: Those two are enough. The rest of these guys are tools who don't talk.
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>>21667942

3

Fuck them the quest awaits! (as well as Ale)
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>>21667735
1 One does not simply turn down the main quest line... unless im playing skyrim
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>>21667942
Hell yes we a Lady now. See it has a capital L badass.
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>>21667942
2. get as many group members we can. also is there anyway to improve our spatial sorceries and conjuration sorceries?
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>>21667956
derp late with my post.

still 1 though
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>>21667942
2. Jolly cooperation! Even though I'd very much want to throttle that almost-nude bitch for being almost-nude. Stereotypical adventurers HOOoo.

Hang on, if we killed the PC, shouldn't the world have reset or something? I mean, the player obviously woulda've turned the computer off or something by now.
>>
2. Instruct the lady in underwear to start doing her job and earn some tricks.
>>
Actually, it just occurred to me that this hasn't come up yet. What does Linda Richtofen look like?
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>>21667998

If your computer suddenly started telling a story without you being there, would you?

it would be basically artificial intelligence coming alive.
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>>21668026
OOC, the Chosen One was a ROBed nerd who hadn't yet wrapped his head around the idea that the NPCs were people. You aren't in a video game, the Chosen On was nuts.
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>>21668024
Natural red head
short
plump
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>>21668050
Are you trying to make a dwarf?
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>>21668054
not that short just shorter than most heroes
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File: 1353407769518.jpg-(219 KB, 1500x2322, 1238133308441.jpg)
219 KB
This looks like a GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER to me.
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>>21668026
If it was me, I'd bring out the fucking popcorn, because holy shit this is the real deal.
But with a name like >XxKillMasterxX we can only assume that the guy is a tard.

>>21668040
Well, there's that. Thanks.
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>>21668065
All of my yes
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>>21668054
Because short Scottish dragon sorceress sounds kind of like the set-up for a joke.
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>>21668065

Jrpg & Belts..

Just no.
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>>21668065
I like her. Because I'll admit the red hair was kind of mandatory at this point. I mean, you have consistently picked fire at every choice. Of course Linda's a redhead.
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>>21668074

Well, she's short, she's red-headed, she's half-dragon and she can throw fireballs and like scots she loves to drink.

So.. what's the matter?
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>>21668065
i agree with this
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>>21668081
Point. Minus the belts. Wait a minute, why the fuck are there belts?
>>
>>21668092
It's the number of adjectives. Every adjective you have to add to a characters physical description is a dangerous step towards the abyss of absolute lame.
>>
To hold up her ego, obviously.
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>>21668113
That just may be true.
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>>21668097
Shitty armour design, obviously. The guy who designed her leather totallynotacorset was a two-bit conman who ran off with her money, so instead of dumping it and calling it a total loss she holds it together with belts.
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>>21668112
You have clearly never heard of the dangerous rotound evil bear eating ruddy purple beast of the scented almost impassable orange yellow sticky tar pits of the enlightened short wizards of great amounts of painful swift doom
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File: 1353408368105.jpg-(149 KB, 720x900, Linda Richtofen.jpg)
149 KB
Behold the fevered sketching of a man who's half asleep!
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>>21668155
This is now officially a /tg/ approved quest. Nicely done drawfag.
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>>21668180

Danka mein freund :)
>>
''Well comrades, what say ye? Will you accompany me in this quest? While I am certain of victory, your help would of course be helpful!''


''Haha, of course we will go with you lady Linda. I, Lance, will aid in the quest for the divine blessing!''

''Meh, sure, why not? I'm Mel. I'm an elf if you hadn't noticed''

''Of course I'm coming along! It is my destiny to fight the Mad King! I am crown-princess Aurelia Vainglory and you will surely require my assistance.''

'' I, am Heather. I'm a priestess of the order of the Mirrored Sky. This is my assignment, I may not deviate from it.''

''Yeah, sorry lady but you look kind of insane. I'm out''

Looks like you got everyone but the shady looking bloke to come along. You're the leader of a party of adventurers! This is a glorious day in the career of Linda, GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER!

1: Set out now for there is no time to waste!
2: Ask for directions to old shrines and such.
3: Raid a library. It is research time!
4: Just pay a wizard to find a possible source for the blessing.
>>
>>21668155
This is good. It is now canon.
>>
>>21668205
4 but if anyone asks we did scoured the land looking for shrines
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>>21668205
5: Ale-Time!
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>>21668205
To the pub. We can't start an adventure without a pub crawl, it just isn't proper. If they object tell them that with we know, because of our sorcery, that if we don't get fucking hammered the quest will end in failure.
>>
>>21668205

Library. There's bound to be wizards in the library who have done the research already and will tell us the answer if we pester them long enough.
>>
Make sure to get everyone's gear score before we head out. This quest surely has a DPS minimum we have to hit.
>>
>>21668235
3. and this.
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>>21668247
Are you suggesting we spend our won money on these guys stuff? If you want to do this, roll 60 or higher on a d100. See you are part dragon.
>>
>>21668205
3!! magic secrets and stuff and hopefully a point into the right direction for the blessing
>>
>>21668260

Rollan.

Also 3 & 5 (Ale time)
>>
Rolled 83

>>21668286
>>21668280
i'll help you out champs
>>
A pub crawl and rigorous library research of the sort that has any chance of yielding useful information are mutually exclusive for today.
>>
I am the worst at dice and pictures without belts. Forgive me.
>>
>>21668295
definitely library research then. fuck getting drunk we can do it when we know shit
>>
>>21668299
Are you the one who drew the picture? If so, there is nothing to forgive. In fact, I owe you. If you supplied the belted one, most of that outfit was really nice. Shame about the belts though.
captcha is canon-law. This is therefore true.
>>
Rolled 54

>>21668295

Awww...

Well 3 then.
>>
>>21668307
Son do you have any idea what your saying? BLASPHEMER! A true gentlewoman nor an adventurer never denies the opportunity for a drink!
>>
>>21668340
but now we are the CHOSEN GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURER! out drinkin habit has to be toned down to 6 drinks a day
>>
>>21668385
7 for luck? we are blessed after all
>>
Every fiber of your being begs you to make for a tavern post haste, but an adventurers' life is fraught with peril, and you must go sober for a little while longer. To at least figure out which direction to start in you head to the Great Bag Library. It's actual name involves the apostrophe calamity and is therefore never used outside the stationery. You and your comrades spread out among the sprawling shelves of this ancient library. You search, and search, and search. God, you are so bored!

1: Keep at it; giving up is for pussies!
2: Give up for now. Time for rum.
3: Go somewhere else for the information.
4: Pick a direction at random to start your quest.
>>
>>21668404
4 lets down a bottle of rum spin it and start walking whichever way it points
>>
>>21668404
1 dont be a pussy
>>
>>21668404

1 Isn't there a librarian who you can ask to point you to the 'magic section'?
>>
File: 1353410909783.jpg-(165 KB, 660x780, Linda Richtofen2.jpg)
165 KB
>>21668155

All right last one, can't embarrass myself too much in one day.
>>
Call mom and have her get her thralls to work on this. Research is for NERDS, not GENTLEWOMAN ADVENTURERS.

I mean, you're not even getting XP for this.
>>
>>21668414
I second this. Also, our peasen- er... our companions might now some stuff allready
>>
>>21668427
If you are thinking of spells, sorcery works off the sheer force of your awesome. You are good at sorcery.
Wizardry would involve staying inside all day while sober. Wizardry MAY be on thing that just might be beyond you. Or at least your attention span.
>>
>>21668404

4.
You're trying to do this whole "divine destiny" shtick, right? So it doesn't matter which way you go, it's already been planned, you can't lose!
>>
>>21668444

No I just meant, there must be a part of the library dedicated to blessings/prophesies etc.

Have them help you.
>>
All this research is boring. Here is the plan you come up with. ''Alright, me, here's the deal; let's not, and say we did!'' You sneak out of the library, spin a rum bottle and decide the place it stops, north-east, is the right direction. You enthusiastically interrupt your comrades with loud assurances that you have found the way to a promising shrine. It takes some time, but you convince everyone that your source is solid. You plan to head out in the morning. And now, we drink!

1: Rum?
2: Vodka?
3: Elven Fire-Wine
>>
>>21668514
2
"Reach for Vodka tonightttt!"
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>>21668521

We polska now!

Vodka it is.
>>
>>21668514
>>21668521

1.
Screw that Potato water, go with a man's woman's drink!
>>
Vodka, neat. That's _sort_ of like breathing fire.
>>
>>21668514
All of them
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>>21668541

Wouldn't that need some alcohol skill roll?
>>
>>21668541

We're professional drinkers.
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>>21668514
1. Rum. Because of that wicked nice burning sensation.
>>
Rolled 5

>>21668553
rolling a CON check
>>
>>21668559
No need. The plan is to keep drinking until you pass out. You aren't that though physically.
>>
Frankly, I've been running this for about 10 hours,so I think I'll stop here. I'll archive this and see if there is any continuation.
>>
>>21668568
in that case you know how much we can drink until we pass out
>>
File: 1353412892329.gif-(496 KB, 500x359, seinfeld.gif)
496 KB
>>21668573

A toast to you and your epic thread sir. I can't wait for the next one!
>>
>>21668574
A fairly typical amount for a social drinker. If your granny had not been a dragon you would have a very week constitution actually.
>>
Just dropping in to add that this quest is absolutely fabulous. Please continue.
>>
This seems awfully familiar.

Every one thousand years, a Great Evil will arise from the depth of the Grand Abyss. It will ravage the land, bringing with it all manner of death and destruction wherever it goes. By the will of the gods and the hands of Fate, a mortal shall become the Chosen One, the one who shall do battle with the great evil and bring peace and prosperity back to the land.

The Chosen One shall be blessed by the goddess of love and hope while he will be empowered by the might of the god of war. The muses of Fate shall ensure that he shall be protected from misfortune and grievous harm. Such is the fate of the chosen one.

In the current era, an ambitious warlord had begun to expand his territory through conquest by steel and fire. The oracles have predicted that this warlord shall be the great evil and the Chosen One will soon arise to stop him.

You are not that man.

Because for one thing, you just killed him.

How was this possible?

You are his opposite.
>>
>>21671170

You are one without Fate. In order for the gods to bestow such a grand Fate upon the chosen one, one who is without Fate must exist to preserve the balance of fate. One who is without fate can alter the fate of others just by being near them. To prevent the Fateless One from interfering with the Fate of the chosen one, you were meant to be kept in a place far away from way the path of the chosen one would go. At birth, agents of the gods had taken you from your cradle and brought you to live a life confined by human hands.

Or you would have if not for your status as the Fateless One. A single action as a newborn made it possible for the divine agents to make a grand mistake which gave you your freedom. The gods, by design were unable to perceive your existence, only where you would be born.

Another child had been taken in your place and thus you were allowed to live your life as you wished.

Up until you killed the chosen one.

Now we come to the important question.

How did you kill the chosen one?
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>>21671178
[ ] With a poisoned dagger, slitting his throat and ending his life as you were paid to do so.

[ ] By accident as a miscasted spell ran out of control, which made the walls of your workshop explode, a piece of debris crushing the chosen one's skull.

[ ] You pierced his heart with your sword. You had declared a challenge and fought many in a duel to the death. The chosen one took you up upon the challenge. You won.

[ ] You smashed his face in when he resisted arrest for a crime that he did for the greater good. You swung too hard.

[ ] Write In

Now let us see how the thread of Fate and the tapestry of Destiny unravel.
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>>21671178
Yes, that's where I stole the idea. Your point?
>>
I was going to make a new thread, but the fact that this one still exists means I can't use my images so...Anyone interested?
>>
Let's do this. There is alcohol yet unconsumed and adventures still to be had.
>>
Rolled 37

>>21673417
I'm ready to do this, just a cool picture of a fire mage or red dragon. An picture does not really matter.
>>
>>21673417
You could carry on here but we are quite close to autosage. Or delete this thread so you can reuse your images in a fresh new one.



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