>>21859626
GET IN THE FUCKING BAG

>>21859626
;__;

>>21859641

And what do we do with the corpse?

That soul has been moved, but now its loved ones must mourn. How do they do it?

>>21859667
I DON'T FUCKING CARE. HE'S IN THE BAG NOW, YOU CAN FUCK THE BODY FOR ALL I CARE.

That might just be the saddest piece of writefaggotry I have ever seen on this board...

Bring out your dead!

>>21859722

Saddest feels, or saddest work?

It could go either way. /tg/ can't write

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Thanks to /tg/, from this point forward, in all of my settings, Death is an asshole with a bag.

Thank you, /tg/.

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>>21859626
I remember reading in The Art of Discworld how Pterry sometimes receives letters from terminal ill people who will die soon and hope he got Death right.

Society of necromancers--obviously they aren't -all- necromancers, but the majority are.
Each citizen chooses how their body will be used after their death--most choose to be reanimated and work on the family farm, or become part of the army or guard.

Army and guard corpses are collected as soon as possible, and preserved with utmost care, and taken to the Grand Necropolis, where they are stored and maintained for when they are needed.

Some choose to donate their body to the People, and become a part of the "community pool" of whole corpses and parts (animals also go here) that can reanimated for various purposes (reconstructed arms and legs connected to ribcages to hold and deliver packages, stuff like that)

>>21859771
Feels. Pratchett is one of my favorite authors.

>>21859641
>>21859686

This shit still makes me cackle like an old woman

>>21859777
>death is an asshole with a bag
Ahahahaha holy shit, I love you /tg/, now and forever

Well, each religion in my setting handles it differently, and sometimes even by region.
For example, the main religion over most of the continent is notCatholocism. If someone dies, you pray and mourn, get drunk, and then the body is buried to rejoin the Lord in his stone halls. Death by fire is seen as the fate of witches and other unclean things.
Nobles tend to have an extended vigil in the Church before burial, and get ornate stone tombs.
Oop norf the ground is often too hard to properly bury folks, so there are ossuaries and extended catacombs.

The older faith of the region involves more drinking, and varies quite a bit by god-of-preference.
There's also a winter solstice celebration begging the Judge of the Dead to show mercy over winter.

In another state, which is very military and violently antitheist, the funeral is accompanied by glowing reports from superiors, poetry composed in the their honour, and temporarily relaxed regulation on intoxicating substances.

In their enemy state, the dead are consecrated as The Hallowed Flesh and surrendered to the Priesthood for repurposing into biomagical technology.

Finally down south has a huge diversity, but the major civilisation there has female priests who sing to guide the soul of the dead to their rest. The corpse is handled according to their caste - burial at sea, in earth, or by air (eaten by carrion beasts, mostly).

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>>21859626
Oh god, my feels.

;__;

This is so sad.

Giving a person like Pratchett Alzheimers is certain evidence that God either doesn't exist or is an exceptional douchebag. I typically don't care about the lives of people I don't personally know but I actually got angry when I heard the diagnosis.

You don't die.

Watever happens to your body, you just don't die, it may take a while for your soul to rebuild the body, but it eventually will.
If you're burned to ashes, the biggest remaining bit will slowly regrow, in 2-3 years, you'd be ready to go again.

Also aging and birth do not happen.

Those fact are central plotpoints of the campaign, the PCs succeeding would bring the whole thing back to normal.

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>>21859626
Fuck you, man. Right in the fucking feels.

>>21859626

Huh, so who is-
>all caps
>*SQUEAK*
Aw shit, here come the feelings.

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>>21859777
Just for you.

I don't get OPs pic. Amazing Maurice?

There's a South American-flavoured town in my setting that celebrates deaths with a big Mardi Gras-style party. The deceased is mummified, decorated and then paraded around the city in the middle of a big procession/walking party. Everyone has a great time, with neighbours and passers-by joining in on the basis that everyone likes to party. Big platters of food and drink are passed around.
The parade stops at a cliff at the edge of town and the corpse is ritually thrown off it and into the next life, where they send back good luck and wisdom to their descendants. Then everyone turns around and parties back the way they came.

>>21859626
>even gods may die
Stop putting your filthy assumptions all over my deathless shards of being wearing the ripped and torn remnants of human minds and souls in an effort to appear as something other than utterly alien will of all consuming nothingness.

>>21860213
Did you... did you draw this, just now?

>>21860213
FLAWLESS VICTORY!

>>21860254
It's Terry Pratchett himself. He's not dead yet, but he has Alzheimer's and his mind is already going. The fic assumes that he's dead.

>>21860354
Yeah, I got that. But the squeaking.

>>21860361
Death of rats. Lurk moar.

>>21860301
That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die.

>>21860383
m srry

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>>21860361
The Grim Squeaker, of course!

The Daler tribes have the dead carefully tended to by priestess of Wee Jas if possible, for they view her as the guardian of the dead, and her priests can weave rituals to protect bodies from being despoiled, and then they bury the body, usually in a place sacred to that specific clan. If they cannot be properly taken care of, they are usually simply buried in a small mound or left to rot, depending on the circumstances. But most people would risk death rather than leave a kinsman's body out for scavengers, so usually they do get borne home. Even the victors (if Daler) will send the defeated dead home. Unless they're pissed, then less... respectful things can happen. One exception is that extremely important people are sometimes brought back as intelligent, 'neutral' (not hungering for the flesh of the living) undead to provide advice and wisdom. These Living Ancestors are rare but honored, which has caused a lot of trouble with foreign priest of Pelor.

>>21860451
On a more magical note, an ancient culture that once inhabited the region thousands of years ago believed in a more literal (than usual) afterlife, and so wove mighty necromancy to create that afterlife for their chieftains and kings. Sadly, they got it rather wrong, and instead of creating a life after death they created undeath. On the other hand, it was a rather nice kind of undeath, without the usual maddened hatred for the living, and the way they built the Barrows they buried their kin in keeps the negative energy undead extrude from poisoning the landscape. They never figured it out and eventually gave up and died out, because it took a couple centuries (or longer) for the Barrow Kings to wake up. Now they mostly hang out underground, occasionally surfacing to fulfill a whim or avenge a misdeed. Some are more active, but millennium of undeath has left most of them fairly content (and those not have moved on long ago). These barrow undead are revered by the current culture as fearsome but wise Living Ancestors as well, and many clans wouldn't think of making a really important decision without consulting the local Barrow King, which pleases them to no end.

One big problem with the old culture is that for a couple decades way, way back it became popular to think the afterlife WAS more metaphysical, or at least not actually physical in any way, so the buried kings were given the normal retinues and gifts, but then buried (after death still) under rock and dirt rather than in a normal chamber. Thus they woke up completely immobile. Millennium later, some poor fuck of a farmer digs a well and is swarmed with desperate undead suffering from insanity. Bad end.

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>>21860540
>>21860451

>>21860560
You asked! Or OP did. It's a complex subject, needs a complex answer.

File: 1354500395737.jpg-(25 KB, 280x350, fred_rogers.jpg)

>inb4 Mister Rogers

>>21860304
Nah, I requested it in a drawthread a few weeks ago. I can't draw for shit.

>>21860560
You're in /tg/.

Of course.

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>>21859626
>that fucking image

>>21859626
This made me tear up. The world will be a much darker place once he's gone.

>>21860131
That's some shaky theology right there.

High level of magic on one of my city-states.

They have a bank of on-tap clones they can use to be revived, as long as they have sufficient materials and levels and their body is retrieved.

One sector of the city runs just like SS13.

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Generally by decanting a new clone.

>>21860919
Sounds like the worst place in the galaxy.

>>21859641
>>21859626

It's funny you should mention Death OP.

You see, I'm currently running a modern day horror/supernatural game. Lately, ghost activity has skyrocketed, with ghosts getting very violent in their possessions, but also moving around a lot. The adventurers have yet to figure it out but there is a simple, albeit terrifying reason behind this activity.

Death has begun to rape the dead.

He doesn't enjoy it, mind you. Before this, he had been a tough but fair reaper, who took those whose time had come with not animosity. But something changed three months ago that caused him to begin to sexually molest the undead. Male, female, it didn't matter; if you were deceased, the Reaper has a bone-er (pun intended) for you. His seed has the unfortunate side effect of disintegrating the soul, completely destroying it.

Death himself is very distraught. It's a deviant impulse that he can't control. He screams all the time at the deceased now. "RUN MOTHERFUCKERS, RUN!!! I'M GOING TO RAPE YOOOOU!!!" That has been the reason behind the recent ghost activity. They won't even tell the adventurers why for fear of saying his name will cause him to teleport to their location.

None of the PCs have died yet, but it will be quite fun to see what happens!

I'm playing in an All Flesh Must Be Eaten game, so funeral rites are pretty simple.

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>>21860962
I. What.

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>>21860962
Go/d/speed, you crazy bastard.

>>21860962
Godlord. Your poor players.

>>21860945
The golems have rapid fire web shotguns, the cleaning crew have liberal grease spells, alchemists are on hand to drop vials of Acid Fog, research mages usually set half the district ablaze and one of the players is probably going to kick me when they find out they got the district pet pseudodragon killed (because it's free season on anyone who kills Yan)

>>21860996
Now, the real question here is whether you mean "go/d/ speed" or "go /d/ speed."
This is an extremely importaint distinction.

>>21861044
>>21861038
>>21860996
>>21860981

To be completely fair, it wasn't my idea at first. But I saw the GET IN THE FUCKING BAG, and well... the seed was planted.

It came to me in the shower. I cried for half an hour before realizing what needed to be done.

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>>21860540

>tl;dr
>Wait this is /tg/
>Reads
>Those undead

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>>21860962

Rapist death? Why do you even try?

>>21861270
Sometimes I lay awake, hearing the screams of the dead.

Every. Fucking. Night.

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>>21860962
my kinda death!

If Standard death

>Rituals of burial and burning

If disease death

>body burned with specific prayers

If ancient dead

>wreaths placed around their grave markers, the graves are usually visited for this on the 31st of the month of darkwind, (an analogy to december).

>failure to perform this rite for your ancestors has a 10% chance of causing you to be hit with the spell Ancestors Curse, worldwide range, no possible saving throw, and a 5% chance of the offended ancestor rising as an Epic Revenant.

If clergy die

>rituals appropriate to their deity followed by burning or burial as appropriate to culture

If leaders die

>buried in either a fully closed tumulus, or buried in a traditional barrow

If world leader

>buried in a barrow surrounded by four or more standing stones

If a god

>other gods gather for a period of mourning, the body of the deceased god evaporating into pure, positive elemental light

If evil

>variable to dragon or lich cults, dragons consume the bodies in a cannibal ritual called the gorging, Liches typically raise all but the most horribly damaged bodies as various forms of undead

God of death? Yes, but no longer an active deity.

Most cities have temples of the god of death, though they are for the most part ancient and neither used (considered profane, since the god is no longer active), or torn down (considered sacrilege).

>>21861374
Just in case anyone cares to use ancestors curse as a spell for their game, here are the specifics.

>Casters: Dead spirits who have been dead for 10 generations minimum, 8 if they were a magic user in life
>Range: worldwide, specific to the descendents of the caster, can't affect anyone else
>possible to resist: No.
>possible to dodge: An epic level holy symbol will absorb the curse, destroying itself in the process. 100% chance of offended dead rising as an epic revenant afterward.
>effect: Penalty on all saving throws and checks, specific numbers DM's discretion.

>methods of breaking the curse: Seek healing from a divine with the spheres of justice, honor, compassion, or forgiveness. Only the divine's direct intervention will cure it, spells such as remove curse, ritual of purity, and others of the same sort will -always fail- if used against Ancestor's curse. A dead ancestor may relent if appeased, base 12% chance, increasing the more paladin-like the character is.

>>21861374

That seems boring. I kinda wanna start having rapedeath.

>>21861515
>all your ancestors require offerings or you get hit with nasty penalties
>ten generations at least, number of ancestors per generation doubles every generation futher back
>at least fifty ancestors to appease in one day, every year.
>three hundred if mages

Jesus fuck.

>>21861972
2SPOOKY

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What's going on in here?

I can't remember.

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>>21862175
You're an asshole.

>>21862270

You seem to be upset.

I don't understand why

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>>21862291

>>21859824

Wouldn't the nature of positive and negative energy effects make reanimated that bundle of random parts harder than just, say, putting a sack over the identifying parts of a corpse?

>>21862321
Are you saying you should just stuff them in a bag?

>>21862382

Keep forcing the joke. It makes it better.

No, more that the idea of just chopping bits to make patchwork messengers seems like a big extra step when you can just throw an Animate down.

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>>21862437
You sound like you've never played with Legos.
Use the bits you need, save the rest for something else.

>>21862437
Thats what you do with the guards and army.
But if you want a different thing, you might need parts from more than one body. Many arms, skelecopters, whatever. So, you get a pool.

>>21862437
I fail to see what's so forced about bringing it up when you mention dead bodies and sacks, but whatever.
Making dedicated messanger constructs like that would be the more efficiant option when you've got more necromancers the you do bodies on hand; it lets you make better use of each part available. That way, a couple limbs and a ribcage are used for the messanger and the rest can be dedicated to some other task, like having the head act as a camera or something, whereas just throwing Animate on the entire corpse means you've dedicated the entire thing to one task. Plus, those little constrcucts could be a bit smaller then a person, meaning they can get around a little easier.

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>>21862534
>>21862504

Yes, but at that point you're creating something close to a Construct or a Create Undead sort of mess.

Also, skelecopters? Why not just enchant the bones and make flying skeletons?

>>21862564
More magic to use, less frightening.
And yeah, thats the point. Normal undead are basically weaker, easier to kill people. Constructs can be more.

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>>21862564
Do you just hate fun?

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>>21859824
> "Sire! The Empire is invading from across the mountains!"
> "ACTIVATE THE RESERVES."
> Suddenly hundreds of thousands of high-grade undead with minimum 2 levels in a martial class rise to defend their homeland and their resting place.
> mfw

>>21862585

Yes, but you want efficiency in your necromantic empire. Taming tomb motes for their powers of movement? You have a better messenger.

Just having a random walking torso would bring up some questions.

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>>21862624
>swarms of skelecopters decend from the skies
>their mighty war THIBBBBBBBBB striking fear into the hearts of thousands

>>21862650
That's the entire point; see >>21862549
There's no shortage of necromancers; spells and labor are cheap. What's short is parts. The fewer parts needed for a given construct, the better.

>>21862504
The creed of clan Igor: "What goeth around cometh around."

>>21862624
> National anthem is sung during mass rising
> Those whose vocal chords no longer work or have rotted away work their jaws in time anyway
> Soldiers wear their mouldering uniforms with pride
> War machines are assembled from dead-pool (hyuk-hyuk-hyuk)

> "All of our country will rise to meet the threat! The living, and the dead!"
> Undead army marches over rise
> Hail of arrows from the enemy merely slows ranks
> Every soldier fears no death, feels no pain, and gives no mercy
> Ballistae start firing giant sharpened femurs
> Empire shits its' collective pants
> Millions-strong army of the living is cut down by hundred thousands-strong army of the dead

>>21862910
>Every slain soldier further fuels the undead legion

>>21862701

And tomb motes are just detritus of the grave.

You're talking about creating constructs of dead bodies. By the same token you could just... Create constructs?

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>>21859626

>>21862961
Undead creation is (or should be) easier and more effective than simple mechanical animation. Any way you can make use of negative energy with flesh and bone is going to be an advantage.

>>21860131
It's not that he doesn't exist, the way I see it, and he's certainly not a douchebag.

I just think he got tired of our shit. Between the running around squawking like idiots, killing each others, and just generally being cunts all the damn time, he stopped actively stepping in. Like a parent that ignores their kids' very existence, when their kids start screaming and throwing a hissy fit over every tiny little thing. They do it so their kids get the idea of how unimportant it all is, and to show them that it's inappropriate.

We have to learn how unimportant all of our petty, mortal shit is, and to learn how inappropriate it is, in the grand scheme of things, to just rampage around killing every-fucking-thing.

tl;dr: We're bratty little cunts, and God's treating us as such by ignoring the temper tantrum that is our very existence.

>>21861972
You raise a good point, it clearly needs some revising. But its still a good idea. And I should have been more clear. Only the oldest ancestor of a family requires the offering.

>>21863051
What if you created some sort of alchemical component, (such as a potion liquid) that sustains animation? Imagine if you removed all the blood from a body, enchanted it with some form of undeath-maintaining effect, and then re-circulated it into the body? In the mean, you could also go for some future past and give it moving-parts weapons such as a buzz-saw type component for a hand or a casting-item instead of an eye and since the blood needs to circulate, you have some sort of necromantic battery which beats the heart periodically.

>>21863486

>Believing gods care about wars
>Not knowing that your fancy hairless ape existence is meaningless
>Wars of men are as important as wars of ants

Check out this guy right here.

>>21863646
Part of me hopes we never make it off the Earth so that all humanity really ends up fucking over is a single planet.

>>21863646
I don't agree. Some gods are sustained by human actions and require them. So for some gods, the fancy hairless ape wars might actually be important, if not vital.

>>21863646
He made us in his image. The way we act, we're reflecting poorly on him. I think that that's deserving of the annoyed parent treatment.

>>21863665
you're tempting a HFY thread with a post like that

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>>21863665
I've seen the future man. You want to know what the future is? Its fucking necrons man. Imagine an army of constantly evolving constantly upgrading necrons who don't give a SHIT for your planet and will exterminatus the bitch in a nanosecond, thereafter taking their sweet time mining the entire planet down to the core. You think they care for radiation? Their powered by it man. You can't fight something like that. Humans conquer the universe, man.

>smoke one man. You know you heard what I said in one of those 'that stoned guy' voices

>>21863665
I doubt Aliens would let us. We have nothing they would want other than Slaves OR if their ships fuel were humans. If they can get here we have no Tech they would want and we fucked out planet.

I would guess Aliens just have Earth Quarantined. If we manage to leave any meaningful distance away they will glass our planet.

>>21863770
Why would they want slaves? Why would they even want our resources? You can get everything you want from asteroids far more easily.

>>21863672

As far as we believe. Perhaps it is not just humanity that sustains, but other life? Death, hunger, pain, life, community, reproduction, food? Pretty sentient emotions. All things fear fire, frost, time... The gods.

>>21863682

Christfag detected.

Again, you read what you will. The phrasing of Gen 1:27 is, well, kinda hard to translate with nuance from the original text in the Torah. YLT puts it as the following:

>And God prepareth the man in His image; in the image of God He prepared him, a male and a female He prepared them.

Preparation doesn't necessarily equal creation.

>>21859626

If you can afford it, and quite a lot can, you're thrown into a cyronics and your body is rebuilt. As long as the brain is still there, you can be brought back, from a walking trash-can to a full new body.

If you can't afford it, or the body needs to be rid off, it depends.

Most have funerals, emphasing their lives, with ancestor statues and records all over the place.

Religion and game wise, there IS an afterlife, it's awesome, but the living know it not, and their whole lives are spent around cyronics, resurrection, and the like.

Funerals are expensive, cremations cheap, cyronics fucking expensive, and you need entire dungeons for resurrection, both in money and materiel.

My players fucking hate and love me at the same time, you can guess.

>>21863850
Too true, too true, I'll concede that.

I just think that, since he did make us, he feels somewhat responsible for us. And we keep throwing that in his face and prancing about like cunts, like the fact that we can read a book makes us better than the rest of the people on the planet.

And, even with infinite forgiveness, nowhere that I know of does it mention him having infinite patience, and I gotta think that seeing your creations being idiots is... well, grating on the nerves.

>>21863936

And yet he encouraged war. David, Jericho, any number of attacks, slaughters, and massacres.

Your problem is not understanding that A.) YHWH never states He is the only deity, and B.) That YHWH actually went global.

>>21863936

>Concedes that God didn't create man in His image
>But God created man in His image.

Wow. Is there no disconnect?

Isn't this a TG thread? Why is religion being discussed?

>existentialist-materialist-mechanist here.

Just for the record, its my opinion that although the universe is terribly complex, difficult to interpret and even harder to understand, especially with our limited senses and sciences, this doesn't rule out the existence of a god or gods, whether they be actual spiritual beings or Q-continuum types.

>>21863997
>implies I don't understand that, "no gods before me," implies that other gods exist
What the hell gave you that idea, exactly?

>"YHWH actually went global."
I'm having a bit of trouble understanding this. If you meant that he encouraged war, that can be attributed to the people that claimed that god wanted them to go to war mistook their own desires for war as god's desires and decided to claim that he spoke to them personally.

I don't take the bible to be 100% completely literal or exactly correct and perfect in every regard.

>>21864024
Lack of reading comprehension from skimming is to blame for that.

That and to prepare and to make are synonyms.

>>21864085
Yeah, but for now until we actually have some proof it feels like a waste of time to be CERTAIN that what people wrote thousands of years ago is real.

>>21864144

"Indeed there are many 'gods' and many 'lords' but YHWH rules above them all"

Or some such.

Spirits and such exist, with powers, but none master any one element and can come close to even be labelled a god.

>>21864144

Or it can mean to make ready, as in prepare yourself for X event.

YHWH was just a simple ethnic deity who made it big based on proselytizing through stories over the centuries following the death(?) of an alleged prophet.

We could've been in a Thor-ocracy for all we know, if that event never occurred.

>>21864156
I think its beyond absurd for us to say 'yes there definitely certainly absolutely positively is a god'. For one thing, what if von danikan is correct? Chariots of the gods / return of the gods. For another, what feeble senses and sciences we have are easily fooled, weak compared to whats potentially out there, and not capable yet of studying such things. And they may never be. However, this still does not absolutely rule out the possibility that a god or gods exists. It may take 100,000,000 more generations before our science is capable of concluding this great mystery of a question. However I'll also point out that from a psycho-social level religions that are not hateful evil shitbag religions often serve a positive purpose in the followers life, though this benefit will wane over the very long time scale, I still prefer to live around peaceful non-dickhead religious people.

>>21864238
Yeah, true.

Look, honesty time, I honestly don't even know what I'm doing in this argument. I'm not especially religious, especially not for a baptist; haven't been to church in... since I started going to college just over six and a half years ago, apparently? Despite having graduated back in May?

I have a point of view, that I've voiced, that god's giving us the annoyed parent treatment because he's tired of us acting like cunts towards each other, but still feels responsible for our well-being. I feel stupid enough for not stopping there.

Is it alright if I just exit this thread and pretend that this never happened? Because I feel really stupid at this point.

>>21863486

But if God is both all powerful and all knowing, then he knew we were all going to act this way, and he made us this way.

>>21864360
If you're right, then your churchy behavior is correct and expected, and will reward you later. If you are not right, what do you lose? Assuming you get along with your churches social group and they aren't complete shitbags to you, why not?

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I'm running a CoC game at the moment, so not only do gods exist, but you don't want to meet them.
Death? Well, if you're lucky the surviving investigators will throw you in a ditch. Otherwise they're just as likely to burn down the mansion with your lifeless corpse in. After looting it for valuables. More or less, all the characters have gone through too many things to feel comfortable with the authorities getting hold of the corpse.
Cut the religion debate, yeah? I don't give a shit about your own views. I'm interested in the views of the inhabitants of your worlds.

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>>21859777
GLORIOUS!

>>21859626
A real spartan never dies, he is simply marked as MIA. No but seriously I don't even have to wait 5 seconds to come back anymore, my player just needs to press X.

>>21864495
So what happens when a Great old one goes into the death-sleep hibernation? What do the other great old ones and elder gods do? Are they aware of it? Do they even give a shit?

>>21864555
Nyarlothetep notices. But the Old Ones are all too powerful to 'die' as such, and the energy release if someone managed to kill, say, the Lady of the Antarctic would crack the earth. The gibbering messes of the Elder Gods might notice, but whether they care is another question entirely. Why try and give those entities fathomable actions?
I don't intend on having anything of deity-level power even be remotely killable. Perhaps it could be entombed, but even that seems unlikely.
As to the hibernation? These entities work on timescales that would shatter a mind. Why think that a few million years is anything more than a catnap?

>>21864699
Honestly our conception of the GOO's is very different. While their time scale is unfathomable and their motivations are unfathomable, for me, they do have rituals and other such matters to attend to, both when followers attempt to get their attention, and to solidify their power, increase their power, decrease their opponent's power, etc. An example of what I mean to say follows.

>Azathoth emits a mind wave conveying a whim
>GOO #1 picks it up and zaps a group of statues in its temple
>GOO #2 receives a mental impulse from the statue zappage and positions itself a certain way in space.
>GOO #3 travels to a certain area and warp-jumps, the warp adjusted by #2 so that #3 arrives in a specific area at a specific time.
>GOO #4 causes an earthquake in the landing site so that #3 is able to travel down into the planet
>GOO #3 casts a spell on the core of a planet, destroying it, afterwards returning to its native region.

Understand what I'm trying to say?

>>21864807
I like it.
My interpretation is... um. Have you ever tried a potent psychedelic? Salvia, DMT, ketamine all spring to mind. Under the influence of these drugs, your perceptions are so heavily affected that you may experience events out of sequence, multiple times, or have events stretch out for unfathomable periods. I kinda imagine the mere presence of Old Ones to have a profound psychic/psychedelic effect. In my reading of the mythos, the Old Ones might not even be separate entities as we understand it, but instead aspects of some fundamental force. Though a pretty big part of my story is lack of human agency, so Old Ones being completely free agents is kinda not what I'm going for.

>>21865043
I did LSD at woodstock. I know exactly what you're talking about. Alright well no I didn't do it at woodstock, but I did take some LSD a couple times. It felt like woodstock. My point is that despite the fact that they are utterly beyond us in every conceivable way, they are intelligent beings who make choices, and they do follow rules. Example follows.

>GOO #5 can only be awake during certain time periods.
>GOO #6 must adjust stars periodically in the very long term to wake #5 up.
>GOO #7 must periodically go kill nebulas so that the stars which wake up #5 are effectively immortal

My point is I guess this; they are intelligent beings who require some level of co-operation to exist. They only seem mindless because their time scales are mind boggling, and they have senses which can't be explained by 3 dimensional language, so where we see only a tiny sliver of reality, for them, reality is a crystal sphere they can look at seeing every detail at all times.

>>21865043
Further example follows; imagine being the highest high you've ever experienced on a hallucinogen, but you have the powers of a god like entity. Now imagine that this level of existence persists every second you are awake. Thats what a GOO's life is like. For my interpretation anyhow.

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>>21865185
Yeah! And their perception of time itself could be non-linear. So a 'death' event might not even affect the actions of the Old One. For example, a 'death' event occurred on earth 3.7 billion years ago, perhaps spawning the most primitive of life-forms. In present day, the entity is still being contacted by cults, and still influencing the world because while it might have 'died', the resonances of the entity still echo throughout the dimension that we perceive as time. I like how you've thought about the relationships between each other. I mean, I know it's canon(ish) that Cthulhu himself is the high priest of Dagon (or vice versa? I forget.) but at the human level, it's so frighteningly chaotic that in player-terms any correlation or cooperation is non-existent.
In short; 9/10 would investigate with no doubt.

Death is death.
You're you, then you cease to exist, and there's no you anymore. Whoever's still around disposes of the decomposing bag of meat that used to be you in whatever way they see fit. That's it.

>>21865306
A short summary of the GOO's as I perceive them follows.

>Azathoth: the very first bit of organic life to occur in our universe, the parent of all forms of life everywhere.
>Yog-sothoth: the very last bit of big bang energy from the original blast. The 'core' of the cosmic egg, it represents the very small amount of big bang energy that didn't actually 'blow' as it were.
>Outer gods: pieces of azathoth. They 'dance mindlessly' because they are conductive to his mind wave, and their dance which appears to be lulling him to sleep is actually his brain's thinking process.
>Nyarlathotep: An expression of Azathoth's selfishness and unhappiness (presumably at being completely alone for millions of years), he casts at will the following spells: Dimension Door without error, Polymorph without error, Cantrips of Total mastery, Teleport without Error, Read Mind without error, and Divine petition without error, and when he appears, he's usually a gigantic dickhead due to the fact that he is composed of azathoths anger, selfishness, ennui, and loneliness.
>Cthulhu: They very last member of the very first alien race to worship Azathoth and Yog-Sothoth.
>several other great old ones follow cthulhu's model, forming a group similar to the 'elders of the universe', if you are at all familiar with marvel.

I'll shut up now because this isn't really what the threads about. But I leave you with my interpretation, anon, and though I've never played any CoC, I do hope that if you chose to use it, it serves you well.

>>21865185
Sounds like a sweet trip.

>>21865588
It would be. The problem is that EVERY, SINGLE, THING, you hallucinate, instantly becomes real. So if you hallucinate a black hole appearing and destroying the planet, thats what happens. It won't kill YOU, but it sure as hell won't tickle. Moving this discussion to another thread.

Anybody who's interested Go to: >>21865706

In one of my games, my players went full retard and decided to stab a negative energy nuke with an artifact lance, fulfilling the plan of the BBEG they had just foiled.

This caused an army of several million undead to rise up. Soon, the world sent an army of it's own to oppose this undead legion, but each undead is constantly regenerated by the effects of the nuke, and any from the opposing side who die undergo the same process.

End result is a battle that has been waged for several hundred years, creating a dead zone on the map where the largest kingdom used to be, and causing millions of souls to be seperated from the usual cycle of Death -> Soul Purge -> Life, destabilising the universe as a whole and saturating the earth with such massive amounts of negative energy that the negative energy plane has partially merged with the prime material.

The god of death himself manifested before the PCs, looked at the mirror they were using to scry the event, said "Fuck That Shit.", turned to the PCs, said "Fuck You Guys.", muttered an incantation, and vanished from time and space. The PCs were promoted the new gods of death, and they did a really fucking terrible job of it.

The new campaign is based on descendants of the PCs and their close friends and relatives, trying to kill their ancestors, the current, extremely incompetant gods of death, and undo the clusterfuck they created, hopefully fixing the world.

>>21865414
>Azathoth: the very first bit of organic life to occur in our universe, the parent of all forms of life everywhere.
That would be Ubbo Sathla, the twin brother of Azathoth. Azathoth is pure, shapeless energy.

>>21865956
this...
this is beyond full retard. We need to invent an entire new measurement of retard for this.

>>21866223

>New measure of retard
>Not aware of SI master race

I believe the SI unit is a Tard. It is the exact amount of retardation needed to ruin one family photo.

>>21866252
This is several Kilotards at the very least. Possibly even a Megatard.

>gaysap askfor
Captcha, I am not asking for the semen of a homosexual man.

>>21866223
Yeah, you have no idea how dumb my players are.

They arrived with this holy artifact lance, and the BBEG started monologuing about how he had tricked them, and that now he had the artifact so his plan can be set into motion.

They pull out all the tricks they had up their sleeves to break his bindings and slap his shit, destroying the lich and causing the device to start it's power down cycle, and then suddenly, the paladin is like "Okay, I charge the device in the centre with the lance."

I'm using the classic DM "Are you really sure you want to do that?" and he's like "Yeah, stop asking me that.

So he charges and sets the device off.

PCs retreat, just about escaping with their lives, and scry the area, seeing the results of their idiocy. They get promoted to go of death, first thing they do? Gather an army of minor reapers to, in their words "Go kill the [constantly regenerating] undead armies.", all while gleefully ignoring their other duties, meaning nobody else in the entire world dies for about a year before they get their act together. They get cut to pieces, develop lung cancer, sink to the bottom of the ocean, but they don't die because the gods of death are too busy pissing around trying to seal the planar breach they created, and actually making it worse, rather than letting it stitch itself together naturally and doing their jobs.

So now the entire population hates the asshole gods who ruined everything and turned the entire world to undead/tortured soul infested shit.

File: 1354525271742.gif-(3.13 MB, 400x300, no pity.gif)

>>21866394

And you are an idiot for just not completely killing them off. You were the one who led to these circumstances, then continued said circumstances.

>>21866436
Hey, I just give my players the sandpaper, it's not my fault if they decide that massaging their own genitals with it is a great idea.

I make it sound like I am pissed at them, but much fun is had by all.