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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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-Legends told
-Bar Tales
-War in the Future

>Wikipedia: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Harem_Knights

We continue with your regularly scheduled webcasting.
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Report: Likelyhood of Mirthans Using Drow Sulfur Deposits for Manufacture of Gunpowder, 21 Evening Star, 4AA

Special Agent Sir Joseph Yankee, Blades Bravo Division

Recent rumors have pointed to mysterious ebony skinned Elves in the Dark Mountains producing and selling firearms to nobles for personal use. While the idea of the Drow becoming firearm manufacturers is laughable, The Council is concerned that someone is mining the sulfur fields for gunpowder, particularly under the guise of representing TeeGee. Sir Fearghaile asked me to investigate after calling me off of the Styx case. Lem is asking me to go in his stead because he doesn’t not want to attract attention to the visit and he “is on fucking vacation, so screw that”. I can’t say I disagree with his sentiment.

Day 1, 12 Evening Star, 4AA. Settlement “Delta”
Traveled to the Drow Hotsprings. The geothermal activity makes the ground soft and snow doesn’t accumulate. Still balls cold, seeing as I came here in winter. One of the Drow girls seems to have taken a liking to me, enthusiastically said she was going to show me around before I even said anything. Her name’s Aya.

Got to see the area. Relatively small hamlet, but being in a valley, sound carries. Locals haven’t seen nor heard anyone other than their neighbors around. Aya says she hasn’t seen any humans in the area either, and there doesn’t seem to be anything. I asked her to take me to see the sulfur fields, the place that smells like rotten eggs.
Day 2
Went out to the areas with more volatile geothermal activity. Reminds me of when I went to Yellowstone with my family back before... Nevermind. Man, I wish I had some white-out...

Aya showed me the area. It’s got some ritual value to the locals. Something about healing springs. Technically, neither of us should be even be around here without permission. Seems unlikely that anyone would get access through the Drow. Initial look around indicated no one has tried to mine the sulfur as it was mostly unperturbed, however, deeper investigation was interrupted by Aya, who had mostly disrobed. She wasn’t taking no for an answer, so we fooled around for a bit. To be perfectly clear, I did not go beyond third base. There was nothing significant that happened. This is digression is to avoid a repeat of the Oglaf incident.

After “satisfying” Aya, I continued with the investigation of the sulfur deposits. Initial observations were confirmed. No one had touched this area in the last century, much less the last couple years. I went back before Aya woke up and left before anything weird could happen.

Day 3. Settlement “Kilo”
Made it to Settlement Kilo. No significance with the sulfur fields here, but they are pretty wooded, and the locals don’t like to go there often. Had a hard time getting a guide to show me the area. Poor bastard got blasted by a flaming geyser before I could finish my look around and had to bring him back. Will do more tomorrow.
Day 4
Sulfur fields same as Settlement Delta. Nothing here but some pretty geysers and nasty looking rodents of unusual size. No chance in hell someone would be able to do anything with the sulfur around here without clearing the forest, and the quicksand I almost slipped into wouldn’t make any of that very easy. I’m glad to be out of this hell hole and on to Settlement Foxtrot.

Day 5. Settlement “Foxtrot”
This place was interesting. The whole settlement was built right next to it. Wooden bath houses are built up right next to the usable springs, since some are obviously too hot or too toxic to safely use. No one but the locals seem to be around, but I’ll make sure to ask tomorrow, just to be sure.

Day 6
As I thought, no one but the locals. They get occasional visitors, and this is one of the trade hubs by some of the nearby Halflings, but no men, and no one stayed for more than a day. There’s nothing here that has changed for the past few centuries. There’s nothing here in the Drow mountains. I’m leaving on the morning to get back to TeeGee.
As we thought, the rumor of the Drow making firearms was just that: a rumor. The report on my desk today confirmed that the Dwarves are not selling what little sulfur they mine to anyone but us. Lady Samantha says she has good intel on a minor noble that has recently acquired a small shipment of firearms for use in his personal militia, and as such I have assigned an agent to her entourage to help in retrieval of a sample. While I’m curious as to the results, I doubt it will help us to discover where this dealer is getting his raw materials.

Since the supply side is likely a dead end, I believe our best chance of tracking down this arms network is to approach it from the buyers and trace it back to its source. It’ll be more difficult as this individual has gone through great pains to cover his tracks. And what’s worse is that since it’s likely an Outrealmer behind this, he’ll be as savvy as the rest of us. It beats looking for an invisible needle in a haystack, but we’ll have to work this one with kid-gloves.


Security Level 5

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Don't know why chaps let this die last thread. Oh well, I still have stuff to post. Still story to be had.

Calling all citizens of TeeGee
If there’s one thing I hate, it’s the early morning shift. I was sitting in the Rogue Trader with nothing to do. There was never anyone here at this time of day. I had bought a notebook the other day, so I plopped myself down at a table and began to write. I wasn’t sure what to write at first, scribbling down a few ideas. Then it came to me; a story of high adventure, romance, and comedy. The best part was, I knew exactly where to start.


One day a young girl had been taken by evil slavers; before that she was just a normal girl. After many hard weeks that all changed, when a tiny dragon girl with cat ears flew into the slavers’ camp. It was about the size of a small kitten, and had tiny shackles hanging from its arms and legs. It dispatched the few slavers in short work with its fiery breath. It then came up to us and melted the locks off. We rushed out of the cages, unaware of the lone guard returning from somewhere.

I saw him sneak up behind the dragon and bring his axe down with startling speed. I tackled the man, knocking him to the ground. I wouldn’t let the slaver hurt our rescuer. Suddenly the air between us started glowing with a golden hue, and the attacker vanished into motes of golden dust.

I was stunned, I had never heard about such a thing happening before.

“Wh... what just happened?” I said to nobody in particular.

The dragon said. “Your power has awakened.”

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I don’t have power. I’m just a nobody. I don’t have magic powers. That’s what makes someone an adventurer. And I’m no adventurer.”

“No. You are more. You are a magical warrior girl. You are of a rare breed of young girl, you have the power to change the world.” Said the dragon girl, landing on my head.
“But I don’t know the first thing about being a warrior.” I said, not sure about having a girl dragon thing sitting on my head.

“Worry not, for I shall teach you all you need to know.”

“Ok then. What's first?”

“I shall teach you the basics of MAGIC.”

She then described to me how magic worked. According to her, my magic worked by feeding off my emotions and will. Something about First Magic and knowing oneself. In short, I just need to will it into existence.

The dragon, whose name was Shackle, led us back to a magical city called TG. A land of many powerful Knights, but few magical girls.

As we walked about the city, Shackle giving me the tour, until we were attacked by a girl of snowy skin and midnight hair. Her tail lashed out at me, tangling around my legs. The whiplike tail swung me around, throwing me at a wall.

“Girl! Use your magic!” Shackle shouted.

“Right, getter BEAM BREAKER!” I said pointing at the now flying girl. She also shot a beam of magic at me from her chest.

The beams collided with a resounding explosion, sending us both flying. When the smoke cleared, I pulled myself up off the ground. We were in the middle of a giant crater, and we were both not wearing clothes anymore. The blast had also flung Shackel far away.

“Ha, I’ve won. Now you are mine.” She said drawing nearer, her tail wiggling in the air like a evil snake.

“What do you mean by ‘mine’?”

“Hold on to your toes and you’ll find out,” she said with an evil grin.

From her tail shot a beam of magic, she was so close I didn’t have time to dodge. It struck me right in the stomach. I fell to my Knees as a wave of pain and pleasure washed over me. She was on top me now. I could see what was coming, and then I heard someone shout out.
“Remove thine self from her, foul demon.”

We both looked over to see a teenage Kanin with wolfish features. He was holding a massive sword and wearing a red leather coat.

“How cute, a boy hero. With quite the compensator. I’d say you could have her, but I don’t think your arm has the girth to take her.”

“I think I rather not be taken by anyone.” I said, trying not to think about how close her tail was.

“Sush, you don’t get a say. You lost. Now to the victors go the spoils.”

A man in a large suit of armor flew through the air and kicked the monster off of me.

“Damn it Lilly we’ve been over this. You can only rape me or Meina.”

“But she’s a magical girl. If I get her now then I can steal her powers.”

“I don’t care Cody. Now come on. Meina is pissed about your latest prank and I need your help undoing it.”

“The solvent is hidden in the library.”

“That’s nice. You get to help her apply it to her lady parts. I am not getting involved with this one. I’ve seen this porno. It ends with my dick stuck in something.”

Then strange couple then left, leaving me standing there with the wolfboy. He turned his head and removed his coat, tossing it at me.

“Thank you. My name is Alice. Yours?”

“Seamus of the McVisher Clann. We should get you some clothes.”

“That would be nice.” I said, blushing as I realized what he had seen.

“Well then my house isn’t far. I think my sister had something in your size.”

He lead me to his house. It was a small place, not far from the edge of town. He pointed me to a chest and then excused himself from the room. I dug around for a few before finding something that fit. I went out to the main room where he was.
“Your sister won’t mind me borrowing these?”

“She won’t. I also know she would want you to keep them.”

“Well I’ll have to tell her thank you sometime.”

“So you new in town?” He asked looking down quickly.

“Yeah just got here today. How about you?”

“Been here awhile. Just became a Knight. I was that guy’s squire.”

“What guy’s?”

“The one who kicked Lil off of you. His name is Jim D. Hat.”

“That’s an odd name. So you're a knight, have you been on any adventures?”

“A couple.”

“Find anything cool?”

“Some odds and ends. I did find a magic necklace though.”

“Really? What’s it do?”

“Don’t know, just know it’s magical.”

“Can I see it?”

“Sure why not.” He said with a sigh.

He got up and went over to a dresser and pulled out a large beaded necklace.

“This is it. No clue what it does though.”

“You should wear it, I think it would look nice on you.” I told him.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“Not a good idea? But it’ll look great on you! Here, let me put it on for you.” I said, pulling it from his hands and throwing it over his head.

“You shouldn’t play with magic things like that.” He yelled, grabbing the necklace and pulling it from his neck. Or at least he tried to. It wouldn’t budge, not an inch. “See, this is why you never do this kind of crap.”

“I’m sure it’s harmless. Now why don’t we have something to eat, I’m hungry. Sit down and I’ll cook something as a thank you.”

“No thank you. Help yourself, but I’m not hungry.”


And then he fell to the floor. But he fell funny, like his neck was really heavy... oops. I got down next to him.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t think that would happen.” I apologised.

“Ghwarh.” He grunted.

“Oh crap. You can’t talk. Um... uh.” I then tried to help him up, but I ended up falling instead. Somehow he ended up on top. Our heads were together, our lips less than an inch apart. His hand was squeezing my breast rather painfully.

“Jetset PUSH.” I shouted pushing him off of me with my magic.

I pushed too hard though and he went flying up into the air, colliding with the ceiling. Course then gravity proved to be a cruel mistress and he fell back down, hard.

We both let out shouts of pain. Followed with much moaning as we lay there to hurt to move.

The door opened up. In walked in a little Kanin woman.

“Oh I’m sorry dear. Didn’t know you had company. I just remembered I forgot something at the store. I’ll be back in two hours.” She said turning around.

“Its not what it looks like.” We both shouted out at the same time.

“That’s nice. Whatever it is, have fun.” She said closing the door behind her.


“Excuse me, miss.” I jumped from the table where I had been writing.

“I’m so sorry. Take a seat, I’ll be right with you.”
It was a pain keeping my notebook from my boyfriend yesterday; I think he’s cute when jumping around trying to get the notebook. I’m not sure how he’d react to what I’d written, but I bet his mom would love it.

The morning drag was just that, a drag. Evening shift is the best, the people and the energy. It just feels like living. Morning on the other hand, feels like a slow cold death. Once again with only like one person at the Trader. I sat down, pulled out my notebook and began to write.


We untangled ourselves from the floor. There was an awkward moment were we just sat and stared at each other.

“So...” I looked down. “Sorry about that.”

He sighed. “Its alright. I was told stuff like this would happen, what with being a knight. I’m going to go see about undoing this collar. It would most likely help if you came along. It never did this stuff before.”

“Where we going?”

“Jim D. Hats place. He was my mentor and probaly has some idea of what to do.”

“Urk... The guy with the demon girl?”

“That’s the one. You don’t have to come.”

“No. I got you into this mess and I won’t abandon you just because of some over sexed up magic girl.”
We went back into the city. He lead me into some back alleyway. Seemed legit.

“You can’t tell anyone about this. Jim would be pissed.”

“About what? Some dingy alley?”

“He placed his hand on a archway. And said some gibberish. There was a flash of light and the arch was filled with a blue glowing light.

“Oh. That. What is that?”

“Magic portal thingy. Well come on.” He said holding out a hand. I took it and we stepped on through.

It felt... strange, like I was being torn to piece and put back together, but in a good kind of way. What didn't feel so hot was my head. It felt like it was in a vice for a few seconds afterward.

“That. Was. Odd.”

“Yeah, you get used to it.”

We were in a luscious court yard. Sitting there in two chairs next to a table was the guy from earlier and a Holstaurus.

“Hey, sup?” The guy said putting down a large glass of milk. I tried not to think about that.
“Got into a bit of trouble.”

“How many bodies do I need to disappear and people that Lilly needs to blackmail?”

“Um... I put this necklace on Seamus and it won’t come off. He thought you could help.”

“Did you try butter?” Said the Holstaurus with a laugh.

“No, should I have?”

“Don’t listen to her, kid. She’s been a bit goofy lately.”

“That’s cause I’m winning.”

“Winning what?” I asked.

“Prank war with Lil.”

“A prank war?”

“Yep. Don’t recommend going in the house. More booby traps in there at the moment than in hell.”

“Heh, booby traps. Its funny because thats what Lil’s are.”

“So, can you help take off the necklace?” I said, trying to redirect the conversation.

“Let me take a look.” He said getting up from his chair. “It do anything?”

“It makes him do something if I say a certain word.”

“And the word is?”

“Do I have to say it?”

“Yep. Best way to figure out what’s going on.”

I turned to Seamus with a teary look. “Sit” I said.

And nothing happend.

“Yes that is very strange. Tell me did you eat any orcish food recently?”

“No... Why?”

“Just wondering. Ok was there anything different when you said it? Tone, emotion, that kind of thing?”

“Well she was barking orders.”

“No I wasn’t, Shut up and SIT down.”

He fell to the ground face first again. The two having a laugh at his expense. I felt horrible. Jim must have seen it on my face as he said.

“Don’t worry he’s been in worse than this. Right boy?”


“That mean yes. Meia can you go free Lil. I think I’m going to need her help on this one.”

“Sure. I’ll go do that. Provided you tell here I won.”

“Just don’t hurt him...”

“He’ll be fine. Lil won’t hurt him. Not her type. Innocent girls and strong men. Not little boys.”


“I’ll stop calling you a little boy when you stop doing dumb crap like this.”

A few minutes latter Meia came back with Lil, who was wearing a shirt with giant holes in the chest. She was holding her breast and rubbing them gently.

“Hanging like that hurts you know.”

“I know. Now if you help Seamus I’ll kiss you boobos and make them all better.”

“Deal. It’s a command collar. Old demon toy. Can only be removed by a kiss of true love. Just don’t order him to do anything and you won’t have a problem.”

“Thats it?”

“Thats it. And try to remove it by force and it cuts off his head.”

“Thats horrible.”


In the end I was offered a room at their place until I got on my feet, as their place was huge, and a promise that I was safe inside the castle. Safe from Lil and Meia that is.

Soon after that I got a job at the Rogue Trader, as a barmaid. I spent a lot of my free time with Seamus. He wasn’t mad about the whole collar thing. I got to know his mother, she was disappointed when she found out I wasn’t sleeping with Seamus. Though she kept mumbling about giving it time. I got to know a lot of the Knights at my job as it was their hang out. That included Lil and Meia. The promise not protecting me outside of the castle, I learned things fast. Such as watch for loopholes when dealing with demons. I also learned to play their game. Which was fun at times.

It was a slow boring afternoon at the Trader, I was covering another girls shift as she was out sick. Seamus stopped by and I had an idea to help pass the time.

“Hey Seamus. Would you get me a cup of coffee?”

And he was off.

He came back a few minutes later. Hot cup of coffee in hand.

“Thank you Seamus. Would you kindly get me a keg of beer from the back.”

“What do you want with a keg of beer?”

“Get me the keg and you’ll find out.”

Once again he was off, not entirely of his own volition.

He came back carrying a large keg on his shoulder. I’ll admit it made me feel a little hot on the inside.

“Thank you Seamus. How about pouring the both of us a beer. Don’t put in the spigot.”

Seamus slashed the top of the keg off with his sword. Picked up the keg and poured two mug fulls of beer. A girl could get used to that kind of show. We drank our beers and when we were done I had one more request.

“Now would you kindly get me the bong of the demon lord Kztuhs.”

Before he could voice any objections he was off. The effect seemed to be growing stronger. The bong was something I had heard about from Lil. Supposedly it had some magical effect of limiting the effects of heavy drinking, something like it only makes you drunk and none of the bad side effects.
About six long hours later Seamus came busting through the door, beaten and bruised. Bong in hand.

“Good job. Now stick it in the keg you opened earlier. Then lift the keg and chug it.”

And so he did, crowd cheering him on the whole way.

Finally he had drained the whole thing. He looked like he was about to burst.

“Well my shift is over. Lets go home, your home.” I said wrapping my arms around him and leaning up against him.

I lead him to his house, he stumbled drunkenly the whole way their. We went in, passed by his mother who said.

“Good, you got him drunk this time. Well I need to go to the store, I’ll be gone for a few hours. Have fun.”

We went up stairs to his room. I pushed him down onto his bed, then jumped on top of him.

“You sure know how to make things hard on a girl and yourself. Making me take the lead. Not catching my hints. I’ll just have to make you mine.”

I planted a passionate kiss on his lips. There was a soft clicking sound, and the collar fell off.

“Now make love to me like you mean it.”
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A bump before bed.

So who's going to be on the front lines when TeeGee sends its coalition force to the border of the Shirelands?
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I'm in.

Death or Glory time!
Holy crap, been a long time since I've been around. Kinda forgot about us as I had some IRL things and not so much time these days like I used to.

Can I get a basic update, and if I'm effectively out of the loop/game/timeframe?
Basically, I'm lazy and it would take me a week minimum to catch up on the archives. Especially if GeraHeart is still posting 10,000 word epics on a regular basis.
Let's see...I've gone over to the dark side and started making deals with the Fair Lady, finding her siblings in exchange for knowledge.

I didn't get a chance to look through the last entry from The Boss, but seems he's trying to incite war with Mirthterra through assassinations and political machinations.
Reporting for duty! Only writefagged once (intend to do again) due to school stuff, but finals are over next friday. I will write again (and this time I shall not forget about the effects of alcohol.
Well we got two major events. We only wrote the prelude to one, and the one ongoing is the "Gun Runners" arc
Unfortunately Hetros will be reinforcing our own boarders along the Mythterran front. Lots of REALLY heavy rune laying. Like "Let's move hundreds of tons of earth into runes"
Oh don't worry too much. I still haven't gone far off of 5AA. Recently finished the arc where Lem meets Kikki's father and will soon be starting with the marriage arc.

At the same time I'm working on Sir Yankee's ongoing investigation of the Boss, a mysterious TeeGee man who's begun to run guns and is probably our most vicious and intelligent villain yet. This conflict will lead Mirthterrah and the Free Kingdoms to war in 7/8AA, and under our promises of alliance to the Shirelands, we go to defend their borders with a coalition of Dwarven and Gnomish military forces. Was wondering who would go along.
Before I post my story.

Runes can be used to reshape things yes? And their power is based around value+effort+mental will yes?

So just want to make sure nobody minds Hetros pulling a mad experiment around 6AA involving massive earth works and 'instabuild' fortifications? (There'll be a VERY good reason for why we'd not use this to quick build our city)

Its more like value+effort+mental will+ magic power. But no objections from me.

I'm posting them in pieces now. Such as my boss story, and magical girl Alice fanfic
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Explain to me why there's a furry and a lady in a burqa humping a pole in the background
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Well, I'm pretty sure the one in a "burka" is a ninja. I'm pretty sure it's a Final Fantasy Tactics related picture.

Another earthquake? Well, just make sure it's nothing too large. Would make an interesting curiosity at the least. If you need someone to come down and complain, you know where to find me.
The furry would be a member of the mime class I believe which explains why she is also on the pole.

There you go. I wouldn't know, I never got into FFT, I just like the art.
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Those are final fantasy tactics jobs. Mime and Ninja.
A camp, a large one. From above, it looks like the people are scurying about like ants. It is quite near to one of the rune etched and lighted roads of the outerealmers, famed for their durability and their efficency famed. They linked every settlement in the lands of /TG/, and even a few beyond, into the dwarven lands, along the mountains, and south into the badlands where fortified settlements stood against the Ork and Gnoll raiders. A very few extended west into the lands of devout humanity, though never to anywhere of extreme importance. But the roads were not the focus of this camp. No, the camp was a good quarter to half mile back from what was being erected. On the verdant plain, near the remains of copses of trees that had been clear cut and used for the construction, long lines of muddy tracks cut into the dirt, and at the center of all this, a strange, criss crossing mound of bare dirt, almost carine like in it's deliberateness.

It was raining, harder and harder as time went on, And inside a tent, a man was rubbing his face and looking down over a pattern of geometric shapes and a lot of math. This man did not actually like math, it was a necessary tool for what he needed to do, it was not something he had actually enjoyed. He used equations and numbers as another man might use cleaning tools on a large, but exceedingly dirty floor. It was a chore, a necessary job that needed to be done and done well, but it wasn't something to enjoy. This had been true even when he was back in the outerealm, programming games and amusements onto the thinking machines of that world.
Hetros growled, glaring down at the plans. He hated being this close to the boarder of TG's lands, he hated being this far away from his home and kids (He'd been adamant, the kids were -not- coming on this particular field trip, even if the entire family did go out on these excursions). The wirery man stared down at the plans he had infront of him, and then towards the far hill of bare earth that was being constructed.

"Ye know this is insane right?" a low, clipped voice said behind him. Hetros turned his head to look back at the figure behind him. The dwarven female was dressed sensibly to match Hetros' own clothing (as did many of the workers, it was a combination of human, gnome, and dwarvish design). A thick leather apron, iron toed boots with strong grips on the base, and a series of approximately three belts hung from one another, each with a different set of tools. Her own gleamed like raw silver, black with glittering grey poking through in geometric patterns, the matching set to his own set of tools, she'd made them for the both of them when they'd been wed.

"Yes. Inge" the man replied, chuckling and turing back to his designs, "but you said that about the curtain wall designs, and the methods of expanding the city walls, and the roads."

"well, yes." she hurumphed. Hetros had never actually heard a hurumph until he'd met this woman, about a full foot and a half shorter than him, but wider in the shoulders, and wider in... ahem, other areas as well. As one famous otherealm movie actor had put it. she had Huge Tracts of Land. That combined with a soft face, impossibly red hair, and a pair of eyes that looked like somebody had put emeralds into her sockets, made her quite the catch. "But that doesn't make it any less insane."
"Look, this is just a test version, a good 20 miles back from the border. If this works, then we'll never have to worry about defending the borders ever again, well, we WILL, but it'll scare the living hell out of the first groups to try and break in. Especially when we get the alchemists and 'shamans'" he spoke the term with just a touch of scorn. Hetros wasn't entirely convinced that 'divine' magic wasn't just a different form of autism magic, Hetros saw no proof for the existence of gods, incredibly powerful beings of magic certainly, different forms of life yes, but not gods, "get their work done, they'll look like any other copse of trees, the runes hidden under them. We'll need to test that after the proof of concept."

"You know, Liz might have been better for this right?" Ingelill was refering to his third wife, Elizabeth, a halfling who probably knew more about runes and how they interacted with the body than anyone in /TG/ who wasn't a dedicated mage or healer, oh, and Lilly, Liz's on-again-off-again boss, of course.

"She might know more about runes in general than you, but halflings don't deal with deep stones, dwarves do. Hell, you're the one who taught me how to reinforce various stones based upon their mineral combinations. That's why you and all of the original delegation bar the actual diplomat are out here helping build this thing, plus any dwarven rune worker and architect, miner, and quarrier in the city we could hire."

"Yes, but N'ONE has tried this, well, there was that bloke over in the northern ranges, but everyone knows they're loonie, and he had a volcanoe to work with! An 'e was probably lyin' anyway."
"So that just proves it can be done. We're just doing it on a larger scale." Hetros' tone is matter of fact as he licks his lips, his gaze turning back to the map on the table.

"Ye cann'ae trust the northern holds though! They live on the faces of mountains rather than under them like any good dwarf should!"

"You don't even live on a mountain, are you a bad dwarf?" Hetros said, cocking an eyebrow.

Ingelill had the good grace to not meet his gaze as she replied, "Well... no, but I got ye and the kids and the others, and t'is servin' my hold ta be here. So it din'ae count."

"Oh, I see." Hetros tries to hide his smile as he turns his gaze back to the earthworks.

In the distance, a white flag was raised by someone on the artifical hill. Anyone looking from above would see it was actually a very complex pattern of runes, and runes raised ontop of other runes. It had been raised, without magic, in the span of 2 weeks, with almost 500 hands working on it. A line rune etched cables and planks ran all the way back to the tent he was in now. People were already running off of it, shouts in the distance as people made their way back towards the safety of the camp. This little event in raising structures was new, untested, and was probably going to kill anybody on the 'building site'"
The rain was falling in ropes, a french turn of phrase he'd always prefered to 'cats and dogs' and was also less offensive to the Felim and Kanim. "Do you want to do the honors Ingelill?" He says with a smile, gesturing towards the setting connected to the rune cable. A black slate, all that was needed was to draw the activation rune, and it would start the chain reaction of processes.

"Why thank ye," she says with a grin, "so you get'ta say it weren't ye'r fault when this thing kills us all?"

"Yep," and they both laughed as she walked over to the low table, taking up the chalk and sketching out the rune with a little humming tune once she couldn't see anyone left on the site.

Glittering runes surged with magic all the way down the long cables burried into the mount. They glowed with a burning intensity of a fresh lit fire, and then went dull. The line of rune etched wire had been a mutltitude of precious metals and woods, and each time they lit up, they twisted, bucked, the line jumping off the ground like a set of fire crackers, but any sounds made by the process of turning valuable metals into worthless slag was unheard under the torrent of rain beating against the ground and the oiled skin of the tent.
Then the lights touched into the mound. And it was as if the whole world went silent except for the rain, as the married pair held their breaths. Hetros' stare was one of tremendous intent, as if he was trying to stare a hole right through the hill, his mouth set, his teeth clenched and grinding gently. Ingelill was no less intent, the burnt out cable had dropped away from the black slate, and her hand, which had been nervously tapping and scraping the chalk against the slate ever since the magic had activated and the link between wire and slate had been burnt to cinders, was unmoving, pressing it down harder and harder, leaving a slowly building pile of powder under her grip.

There was a tremor, a deep one. The world began to jar, it began to shake, it was small at first, the table just shaking, the tent poles set deep into the ground beginning to vibrate. The world tilted, and bucked, as if it were a living thing. And in the distance, a spire of stone lanced up through the center of the mound, crackling fires of magic and geometric patterns lining it. The world ground again, and more stone, hot from forces pulled from the very mantle of the world's heart. A blast wave shot through the air, scattering the rain in a wave of water that slapped the pair full in the face and blew over the table and settings. Within half a moment, the tent collapsed around them, the camp, while mostly hidden behind the small natural hill the observation tent had been on, likely fared little better as the ground rumbled with the anger of hot stone and shattered earth.
The world bucked and churched for a good 10 minutes, in that time Hetros had managed to get to Ingelill and wrap her head in between his arms and curl around her as the ground shook and broke, and reformed from the runic formation. When the world settled, Hetros helped Ingelill shakily to her feet. She was shaking badly, dwarves handled many things well, but earth quakes were not on that list, they were legendary events deep in the mountains, and the devestation they wrought was equally legendary. "You okay?" Hetros says, as he pulls the tent's fallen wrapping from ontop of them. He then stared at the camp. About 3/5ths of the tents had fallen over. Thankfully, the rain soaked fabrics had not caught fire, and they'd mostly been using rune lamps anyway, the rain had made any kind of camp fires out in the open impossible. "Thank god." Hetros hissed. Then turned his gaze towards where the mound had been.

There was the strangest looking castle anyone might ever have seen standing there. It's surface was cooling, steaming under the rain, but massive patterns of tiny runes, copy upon copy upon copy of what had been built ontop of that spot. The effort of 500 souls working all shifts for 2 weeks, combined with enchanted mineral focuses, had all been compressed into a single, 10 minute moment. And the world had been reshaped. The castle was crude, it's surfaces rough, it's crenelations resembled spikes of jagged stone, it's gates were a simple gaping hole in the rear of the wall, easily sealed by other methods. This was a defensive formation.

"Well it worked... are ye happy now?"

Hetros just nodded, a manic grin on his face, and turned to walk towards the encampment, "Let's go make sure nobody's been hurt and get the camp put back together, then we can celebrate." The pair walked, soaking wet, towards the cheers coming from the camp.

if it's too crazy, please, tell me so that we can just declare this noncanon or something?

The idea would be to raise these on the border, but leave them unactivated until somebody got too close. The force and heat of the creation would obliterate anybody too close. Which is why the camp was at least a third of a mile away.
It could be canon, but it won't be continued. Half of it's a PR thing having spiky, hellish, organic castles on the border wouldn't exactly do wonders for our image as heathens and devil worshipers. And on the practical level, the kind of seismic activity that would occur from this would likely cause problems for local settlements, collapse nearby cave systems, and otherwise just create issues. We don't need a Great Wall of TeeGee. We wouldn't have the people to man it anyway.
A simple series of mines would be far more effective and less power intensive, and require less work and so on.
Probably what it'll be turned into. To Hetros' disappointment.
me by the way, and forgot to say

and yeah, the idea wasn't to raise them ALL AT ONCE, they're meant to be there "fuck, one of the long stretches of uninhabited areas is being invaded and we got to plug a hole. Oh look, an army is standing on it"

anything reshaping dirt into stone and drawing stuff up from way down is going to be power intensive I'd think, need a lot of materials, but applying large scale rune works towards other projects would certainly be possible.
I don't think we're worried about that sort of thing. And besides, runic magic is somewhat unreliable on the long term. What if the runes get washed away over time or one of the things goes off accidentally? And then what about the resulting structure. Guess what, you just gave the enemy an empty fort to set up in, even if they did lose a bunch of men for it. This sort of thing just isn't entirely practical.
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Artorias puzzled over the gear he had taken from the guardian in Queelaan’s prison. On the one hand it was made from bronze, something most of the world in his time had abandoned in favor of iron and steel, but on the other hand he remembered the level of punishment he had dealt out to the creature wearing it, and aside from the hole in the mail made by his sword, the armor looked no less for wear, even after being hammered by his berserker-rage assisted blows. More puzzling was the shield and halberd, both of which were made with a strange white metal that seemed constantly charged with electricity.

None of the human smiths were likely to know much about this sort of thing, but he had an idea of who might. One of Karrigan’s trade caravans that went to and from the Dwarven Mountains was frequented by a smith who the council employed on occasion to identify some of the artifacts the questing knights recovered.

He decided to wait until then, preferring to help Karrigan and Bethany around the store when he wasn’t training with Melena or helping coordinate expeditions to various ruins. He decided to practice a bit with halberds, admittedly something he hadn’t shown very much interest in before, preferring greatswords, but finding that lightning halberd had made him rethink that choice a bit.

Thankfully he didn’t have to wait very long for the dwarf to show up.

“Hail, old friend,” called Artorias to the dwarf, Ogren. “What brings you here this day?”

“Artorias? Odd seeing you greet me here,” the dwarf said. True enough, since Artorias was usually either gone or busy whenever the dwarf came by, but the two had met on several occasions. “I’m just here to visit my cousin his time. Why, your boys found something new?”
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“Sort of,” he said. “Would you mind swinging by later to take a look at it?”

“I can come now,” said the dwarf, “get that business out of the way first and what not.”

Artorias led the dwarf off to his home, leaving Ogren downstairs while he went up to grab the helmet and presented it still wrapped in canvas to the dwarf.

"What can you tell me about this," he asked as the dwarf pulled out a set of specacles to examine the helmet.

"Well lab, either you found a really good fake or you have yerself a demon guard's helmet," he said after a moment.

"A demon guard? What's a demon guard?"

"They're demons that either really pissed off or really pleased one of their lords," he explained. "I've only seem drawings of the stuff before now. Where’d you get this?”

“A cave just north of the Shirelands,” he answered.

“Didn’t find any more of this, did ya,” the dwarf asked.

“I think I have a full set of that stuff,” he answered. “Full head to toe armor like that as well as a shield and halberd, but those two seem to have lightning running through them.”

The dwarf was in awe by now. “You’ve got to let me see them,” he pleaded.

To say the dwarf was excited to examine the armor was an understatement. Artorias had seen little kids on Red Bull less hyper than him, jumping around, examining the etchings, marveling at the construction, going as far as to try using a punch and hammer to see if he could do anything to the armor, all the while bombarding him with questions about where he’d found it, what all else was in the area, and so on.
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The weapon and shield mellowed him down a bit, if only because they were smaller. He explained that the reason they had an electrical charge was because they were made with something called white iron, a rare type of metal that always held a charge, but no one could figure out why. Weapons that included that in their construction were extremely rare, though they tended to be a bit troublesome to manage since they weren’t picky about where the charge grounded out.

“Truly marvels of smithing,” he muttered. “Don’t suppose you’d be willing to part with them, would you?”

“Doubtful,” the knight said, “but I could use your expertise in making it serviceable again.”

“I don’t see a reason you couldn’t just use it now, besides likely bein’ a bit scrawny to wear it.”

“There’s a gap in the mail under the arm where I stabbed it,” he pointed out, “and the tabard and padding have seen better days. I don’t think those are magical, but I know only the basics of smithing and even less about enchanting.”

“Almost sounds like you have plans for this armor.”

“I might,” said Artorias, handing the dwarf a drawing of what he wanted done. “Think you can make it happen?

The dwarf looked over the drawing. Some of it looked sensible, like adding mail to the inner legs, as well as changing the tabard, though he couldn’t say he was thrilled over the red cape and coloration the knight had drawn in. He quoted a price, a modest one considering the work, but the knight agreed readily enough.

A storm was coming, and Artorias intended to be ready when it broke.
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And that's what I've managed to do this week. Things have been a bit hectic.
Oh, right. Before I re-upload what I've done, plus what I've added since then, I have a couple of questions:

What is known about the Paladin order of Mirtherrah?

Does the King Wilhelm IX have a specific death-date?

Is there a time frame for the Gun War, and who are the major participants and their roles?

Where does the majority of TeeGee's food come from? Same for the Dwarves, really.

What is the relationship between the Free Kingdoms and Mirtherrah?

Will I be the first to give a name to the not-pope of not-Catholicism?

I will repost my stuff after these questions have been addressed, which will be in 8+ hours, after appropriate edits have been made.
In order
Fuck if I know
Fuck if I know
Yes it should be ending around the end of 8AA
Farms, we have a good amount of them add in our knowledge and boom
Tense and hostile
No naming the not pope
>What is known about the Paladin order of Mirtherrah?
There are numerous churches ergo, many orders.

>Does the King Wilhelm IX have a specific death-date?
Ask Fearghaile

>Is there a time frame for the Gun War, and who are the major participants and their roles?
Ask Gearheart

>Where does the majority of TeeGee's food come from? Same for the Dwarves, really.
Farming and we also own livestock. If we don't get enough I imagine we import it.

>What is the relationship between the Free Kingdoms and Mirtherrah?
Would depend specifically on the Kingdom in question but they certainly don't get along.

>Will I be the first to give a name to the not-pope of not-Catholicism?
I don't even know if there is a not-Pope. Maybe you can come up with how the not-Catholics structures themselves.
There is a not pope, clover is doing stuff with the bishops and the pope and so on. So ask him.

Wait, so I'm not allowed to name the not-pope, or he hasn't been named yet?

Because he kind of needs a name if the Mirtherrah church is going to be involved in what I've written.
>No naming the not pope
there is no not-pope. There's no centralized leadership of the Mitherran religion, except maybe some kind of monastary/college type place that keeps track of the "this is church canon" type thing.
>There is a not pope, clover is doing stuff with the bishops and the pope and so on. So ask him.
You sure? It should be exactly like the pope then o_O more like the head of a council type deal, rather than "ABSOLUTE POWER" type.
Yes one thousand percent, Clover has something going on in his twisted head regarding the church higher ups.

Well that's a problem. Email him and see if you can get an answer out of him. umpteen.questions@gmail.com,
I believe it was a cardinal, in red. That's the highest we've been up the whole ladder without having a serious discussion of Iron Church of Myrthter.

So which is it?

The way I've structured them so far, is that they're very much a not-Catholicism kind of deal.

There's the not-pope known as the Iron Father who is elected, likely by the higher ranking members of the church, with the central church being housed somewhere in the Mirtherrah capitol.

Then there's the as-yet-to-be-named Paladin Order of Mirtherrah, which is divided into smaller sub-branches/"companies" that go by the name of "Xth Swords" (First Sword, Second Sword, and so on).

Yeah, I'm writing them to have a huge hard on for iron and sword/shield imagery.

So there's a central body that keeps track of church canon, which, like real Catholics, there's likely to be a disconnect between the central body and the individual churches outside the capitol of Mirtherrah.

Will try to email him (assuming he doesn't answer my questions first).


Is that their name? I'm going to assume it is, as writing "The Church of Mirtherrah" or "The Mirtherrah Church" over and over again is kind of annoying.

Oh, right.


Link to the erased thread.
The cardinal in red is one of a few, Clover has said there are higher ups which makes sense.

Iron Father is appointed by their god and is only ever called as such. Also the paladin order do not call themselves by swords, at least not all of them as I remember we have had one or two orders show up before and neither was called such. Third Jistin is confused and finally yes they have a hard on for iron and swords.
Most call them the Iron Church.
Okay. This is what we know about Mitherrah

1) Their religion is based around a single god Mither. He has the Hand of Mercy and the Hand of Iron.

2) They have two books, the Book of Mercy and the Book of Iron, we mostly do the Book of Iron because that's the one groups nearest our place focus on (what with the elf menace and such).

3) There is no centralized leadership. There is an inquisition, there is some kind of central college for sorting out their 'canon' and there's higher ranks, but you don't have anybody saying 'YOU CAN'T TEACH IT THAT WAY' unless the thing directly contradicts the central canon or the books. EG: No real heirarchy

I imagine that it's far closer to the original systems of Feudalism. EG: You pledge to a lord not because he is ranked higher than you, that's implied by you swearing fealty to HIM and not someone else. You are doing so because you believe he has the right to your fealty.

That would make the church a big cross hatching of political/philosophical parties/schools. Just because your parish is nearer to one cardinal's than another doesn't mean that you have to listen to a damn word he says. You have to listen to the decisions of the central college, because those are made by all the cardinals in council probably. But you only have to listen to the higher ranking church members in your particular branch of the church.

So probably rank is determined by the number of people who have pledged loyalty to you, and those who have pledged loyalty to them. TO become a bishop you need like 30 priests following you, and to be a Cardinal, you need 30 bishops (30*30 priests isn't enough. You have to have 30 bishops, which means at least 30*30 priests under them) or something.

at least what -I- know about them.

Given what Gearheart is saying, I'm guessing each of the positions in the college (Iron Father, Red Cardinal, etc.etc.) are chosen from the pool of all cardinals by the council when one of their members retires or dies. It might result in a lot of shuffling "No body is worthy of the seat that was just vacated who isn't already on the council, so we'll move some seats around until one is opened that has worthy applicants"
"Religions, as so many other things, began when man looked to the skies and said "I belong there. I am one with the gods."
So man rose from the ground to build a new home for himself. And he brought hope to the darkness, expecting that this ascension, this enlightenment, would unify and strengthen him.

But the darkness fought back, and man turned on man. Savage warbands roamed the lands, gorging themselves on lesser creatures. And somewhere along the line we found our true nature. For man is the destroyer of things, and the viscous master of his savage domain.

We have our own place in the world, and it is a dark, cruel role we play.

We are the revolutionaries.

We are the usurpers to the heavenly thrones.

We are the enemies of the gods."

I have little faith in things I can't see for myself. I've seen the power of demons, I've heard tales of Gai, of fey, and a number of other things I can't really explain, but I've yet to find a god that commands my loyalty.

Right then. I'll write this particular Order as one of the more Militant/Police Orders, and thus have a logical hard on for naming things after swords.

Each Iron Father needs to have a name, though I guess when they're Iron Father, people only call them that. Seeing as I'm writing from a history book like perspective, it would be confusing not to name previous Iron Fathers by their names before/after their ascension.

The central college you described sounds very much like a central authority figure, much like how the Papacy functions to Catholic Churches around the world, in which they seem to deal with interpreting what's canon, however individual Churches are free to make their own interpretations.

This should all be enough to keep me busy rewriting my stuff to mesh better with existing lore. It will be posted some time later when it's ready.
"What use is a god who only takes, its why I pray to no one, nor will I have anyone pray to me."

And now I feel like replaying Asuras Wrath.
>The central college you described sounds very much like a central authority figure, much like how the Papacy functions to Catholic Churches around the world, in which they seem to deal with interpreting what's canon, however individual Churches are free to make their own interpretations.
my point was that there's no single central PERSON.
Clover did some stuff about redemption questers who actually finish their quest going on to establish their own orders and what not too. Probably not relevant but just a reminder.

I honestly want to lay a definitely structure down but I would definitely not mind if someone beat me to the punch. That's the whole point of the verse isn't it?
>That's the whole point of the verse isn't it?

Heck, if things change I don't really care. The setting is fairly malleable.
>What is known about the Paladin order of Mirtherrah?
They're basically the Church's muscle and they tend to have a talent for Divine magic, but other than that, they're not much different than any other Knight of the realm. Just instead of being under a noble, they're under a bishop or some similar high level church figure.

>Does the King Wilhelm IX have a specific death-date?
No. It's a bit messy, since due to body doubles and such, the king didn't "die" until early 3AA, but the actual High King croaked some time in the winter of 2AA. After his death, his only male heir, a bastard took the throne. He did it through shrewd politics and blackmail, but he knows better than to try and rally foolish hearts against TeeGee, even if he does see us as lowly and pathetic.

>Is there a time frame for the Gun War, and who are the major participants and their roles?
Should start late summer of 7AA, full mobility is achieved in late 7AA and is ended shortly after the winter of 8AA. The Battle for Shire River occurs after hostilities in early spring of 8AA.
>Where does the majority of TeeGee's food come from? Same for the Dwarves, really.
Mirthterrah, at least for staples like grains and such. We can do livestock and some limited farming, but the soil isn't the best for that sort of thing. We also get Cotton and other staples from the Shirelands, and with the completion of the Gnomish Tunnel in 6AA, those supplies get here easier, faster, fresher, and cheaper.

>What is the relationship between the Free Kingdoms and Mirtherrah?
In a word, Tense. Mirthterrah has claimed rights de jure for centuries, but any armed conflict has ended in stalemate ever since the Pact of Salted Iron which is the basic military treaty requiring all Kingdoms to band together against an outside invading foe. If one of them are in a state of war, they all are.

Give me a moment and I'll see if I can't provide some compromise with the church.
Ugh, why the fuck is this toxic garbage still on /tg/
Because you touch yourself at night.

Alright, how's this. For those of you who don't know your early Catholic Church history, it wasn't originally JUST Rome (and it isn't today, but that's a different discussion), but rather, there were 5 separate Catholic Rites in 5 separate Holy Sees. Rome (of course), Constantinople, Antioch, Jerusalem, and Alexandria. Each had their own "Pope", or the more formal way of saying it, their own Patriarch, and the five held council on matters of the church. The Primacy of the Roman pontiff came up because of a number of factors, but the biggest one was traditional, Rome being St. Peter's final resting place. Eventually a schism happened in 1054 over disputes about this "primacy" and thus the church split into the Latin Rite in the west, which became the Roman Catholic Church we know and love (or not) today. In the East, the Orthodox churches rose, but had to compete against the growing Islamic empires.

Now, that out of the way, perhaps we should take note of that, while leaving out the Primacy clause. There are 5 Sees of the Church of Myrthter (one for each finger on the hand of Myrthter), and each has its own Patriarch which oversees its rite. They more or less share common canon, but do certain things differently via tradition or interpretation of the religious texts. The Inquisition is a joint operation between all 5 Sees and seeks to root out political and theological opponents of the Church. Because each See is traditionally EQUAL in the Church, there is little argument over primacy and as such, each tradition is more or less allowed to do as they see fit. We can add Sees up to 10 (one for each finger on each of Myrthter's hands) if need be. This allows for a more diverse Church while still uniting them and preventing sectarianism.

Sound good?
Works for me
>. Eventually a schism happened in 1054 over disputes about this "primacy" and thus the church split into the Latin Rite in the west, which became the Roman Catholic Church we know and love (or not) today. In the East, the Orthodox churches rose, but had to compete against the growing Islamic empires.
The BEST part of why it schismed was over two goddamn words. I mean, it had been building up, but some spanish monk began putting in "and Son" after every mention of "Father" when it refered to god for the new testament or something. A delegation was sent to Constantinople, and then after not being met for a bunch of days, the guy walked RIGHT into the major cathedral, and basically shouted that EVERYBODY in the entire church was excommunicated. Things went down hill from there.
No, it's even better than that. It's two words in just ONE use. The Filioque referred to adding "And the Son" with reference to where the Holy Spirit proceeds from. The West added it in order to combat a very specific heresy which the East did not have to deal with but then demanded everyone else adopt it because "we said so". The East, who had been chaffing under Latin ego, of course, rebelled. It was the principle more than the act itself. See, the East saw the primacy of Rome as a first among equals sort of thing. Rome saw it as "we call the shots". That was the ultimate cause of the schism.

Thankfully, the Mirthan church won't have these problems because there's very specific wording in their canon law about one church having primacy or whatever that means.
As in, there is no primacy. One rite can't claim dominance over the other.

Polite sage for clarifying post.
Might I suggest that there are 5 Sees, for the Hand of Mercy, and 5 Lord Paladins, for the Hand of Iron?

or perhaps the other way around. The Paladins are the hand of mercy, going on quests to save the day. The Sees are the hand of Iron, enforcing Myrthter's laws in his lands.
I was under the impression that Paladins were just knights who are sworn to Bishops, may be ordained, and a potential talent for divine magic.

A "Lord Paladin" might just be an ordained Paladin that has been elevated to rank of bishop. Perhaps one sits as the Patriarch of the Church of Iron?
Hmmm, that could work.

How about this. We have 5 Iron Sees of the church of Iron.

There's also the "Church of Mercy" who are the monastaries and stuff. This would actually make a lot of sense. Consider the differences in what monastaries did for medieval europe compared to the church itself.

There are for "5 Merciful Abbots" to the "5 Iron Cardinals" and a single "Lord Paladin" who usually only advises the church on military matters. He would be the one in charge of leading any GLORIOUS CRUSADES
I lost the ability to read these threads for a while and I'm reading through the archives, but now I'm confused. When did the Cook from Jistin's gigantic story come in? I don't remember him from any previous works.
I think he was in a couple of other stories, maybe one of the tavern ones. Don't know if his author wrote anything himself.
Wait Jistin's story? Man that hurt, it was a collab.

Yes he was only in tavern stories and hasn't written any of his own stuff.
In the last thread Clover commented on the whole Iron Father guy existing, and seemed to be okay with it, so I'll take that as his existence not fucking up with whatever he's planning.


I'll just work off this and try to plant the Iron Father somewhere in there. I still like the idea of the Iron Father being something like the de facto head of the Iron Church of Myrthter.

Incorporating GearHeart's idea, how about the Iron Father being the one of the Iron Sees who is "chosen by Myrthter and said to be the one closest to him"? In any case, I suppose what I've written up only requires that the Iron Father be someone who has quite a lot of sway in the Church.

And since Fearghile, the one who presumably knows most about the Mirthan court did not bother to name the High King who is in power past 4AA, I suppose I'll have the honor of naming the little bastard.

>Prepare for words in 30 minutes or so.
Not sure how I missed that then. The collab itself is also confusing, I keep feeling like I missed a scene somewhere.

But seriously, it was a collab work. Fluffy Tail, Gearheart, Clovis, and Cook all played roles in it. I just had the original idea, and the vast majority of the writing later in wasn't even mine.
>vast majority of the writing later in wasn't even mine.
by which I mean that I didn't have even a small hand in writing it, where as earlier on I wrote at the same time as a lot of the group.

polite sage

The wise scholar Anokmar famously said, “for those who seek to steer our future, it is prudent to see the path of captains past.” Indeed, in these turbulent times, with change sweeping the land in all walks of life, the wisdom of such words could be no more important. To understand where we are going, to understand the goal of our captain, it is obvious, then, following Anokmar’s words, that we investigate the place where such change seems to originate: the nation of TeeGee. It has been less than a century since the Outrealmers showed up in our lands, yet in the time since they’ve made their home, the world has changed more so than in the past 200 years.

For the past three decades, I have collected many tales of TeeGee and her people, from people who witnessed and shaped the nation to what it has become today. All sources have been considered – from personal letters, first-hand accounts of events, to plays and even magic to scry into the past – much of it is contained here in this chronicle I make. It is my sincerest hope, that in diligently and impartially collecting and recording the history of this dynamic nation and her peoples, that we may learn where these people came from, and how they came to be, so that we may understand, today and in the future, where they intend to lead the world.

On the Knights Vigilant of Mirtherrah incident:

In 670 ME, which equates to 12 AA of the TeeGee calendar, there was an incident in TeeGee that further strained ties between TeeGee and Mirtherrah in what has since been referred to as “the Knights Vigilant Hunt.” It is believed that this three-month long incident, coupled with the already strenuous relationship between TeeGee and Mirtherrah, would become the starting point growing animosity between the two groups that would eventually explode in the “War of Hearts” in 689 ME. Prior to this incident, TeeGee, in keeping with its philosophy of tolerance and freedom, made no attempts to censor or control the religious practices within their lands, and openly tolerated the human-centric Mirtherrah faith, so long as it was in line with TeeGee’s equal-species attitudes.

By 675 ME, the Iron Church of Myrthtr was all but convinced that not only were the Harem Knights heretics of the worst kind, but that the ideals of freedom and equality championed by them were a threat to the very faith of Mirtherrah itself. The fact that it was not a closely kept secret that the Knights not only fraternized with demons and demi-humans, but took active measures to disrupt the slave-trade that was considered central to the Mirtherrah faith by the then-Iron Father, only served to cement this image in the minds of many pious Mirthans. Taking advantage of TeeGee’s tolerance to their faith, it is believed that the upper echelons of both the Mirtherrah government and church had intentionally chartered the Knights Vigilant to tarnish the reputation of TeeGee in the minds of the entire Mirtherrah nation.

Gregory rubbed the bridge of his nose wearily. He knew it would happen sooner or later; they all did. The Council of DMs knew it was bound to happen eventually.

But like this?

Nobody but those extremely distrustful of religion and conspiracy theorists would’ve thought that this would be how it would happen.

It wasn’t just a simple case of a man forcing himself upon a woman, as if such cases ever were. No, it was far more complicated than that. It was, as the Blades and Homeguard found, the work of not one, but several groups affiliated with the Mirtherrah faith. Not only were these groups responsible for similar attacks in the past month, but the most recent case had the Waifu of Sir Theodore raped and killed with Sir Theodore mercilessly hunting down and slaughtering the culprits. The only reason the council knew what it did now was because Sir Theodore was killed by a church full of Mirtherrahn “paladins” before he could prevent the Blades and Homeguard from arresting the remainder of the group.

DM Gregory rubbed his temples to ease his headache. The other DMs were still arguing in circles, as they had been for the past two days. On one hand, they had a group of people who committed a very serious crime – that, at least, was something everyone could agree on. On the other hand, the only appropriate punishments would invariably result in some form of political backlash, either at home or abroad.

Everyone agreed that these crimes warranted the harshest of punishments. The people of TeeGee – particularly the newly-empowered women – demanded executions. In fact, when the Council first tried a public hearing of the criminals, a mob of females managed to “overwhelm” the guards and lynch one of the criminals before they could be moved back into the dungeons. However, killing Mirthan nationals – those associated with the Church no less – would easily further sour relations with Mirtherrah. In fact, Mirtherrah diplomats, upon hearing what happened, demanded that TeeGee turn over the “missionary knights” to Mirtherrah authorities.

Imprisoning the criminals for life didn’t even seem like a valid option – nobody would be pleased, though to Gregory it seemed to be the best option that wouldn’t result in either side being overly angry.

“Think about the consequences!” DM Hammers yelled. “If we execute them, we’ll practically be inviting military action from Mirtherrah!”

“And if we don’t, what kind of message do you think we’re sending to everyone else?” DM One-Eye hissed. “We’ll be telling everyone that we can’t actually back up our beliefs.”

“I agree. I do not like the idea of bowing to Mirthan demands,” DM Donovan said.

DM Sykah – the only Felim on the Council – shot up from his seat. “Neither do I, but I don’t want to give them an excuse to send an army in retaliation! We’re a rich nation – while it currently doesn’t benefit the Mirthan government to attack us, with moral justification and the support of their people? It would be the perfect excuse for attacking and stealing our technology and wealth!”
why not make him one of the 5 Iron Cardinals?

We have the Iron Father and the Red Cardinal, first amongst equals, and then the leader of the Inquisition perhaps or something?

“What about the Elves? Wouldn’t sending a significant military force to conquer us – and everyone knows that they’ll need it after the Orc invasion – leave them open?” DM Malaugh countered. “I know you have good reasons of being distrustful of Mirtherrah, but we aren’t – ”

“Of course we aren’t!” snapped Sykah. “This is my home now, and I will NOT let the same thing happen to my home, TWICE!”

“I’m not saying that we’re inviting them, I’m just saying – ”

“Enough!” Forever GM Garrick shouted, slamming his gavel several times. The Forever GM, Garrick was the most senior member on the Council, and was considered the de-facto head.

“We aren’t getting anywhere with simple discussion. It’s time we settle this. I’m stressed, you’re stressed, we’re all stressed and would like nothing more to go home to our Waifus. So I’m calling a vote. Execution, life imprisonment, or exile back to Mirtherrah. Greg, tear up some paper and hand them out. Hammers, pass your hat around. Sykah can read off the votes.”

As Gregory began to tear the paper into ballots, the door to the council room was opened, and one of the Blades, Lieutenant Horne, entered the room.

“I’ve completed the interrogation of the remaining criminals, and my team has gone through all the intel we brought back from the church. It’s all in the report, sir,” Horne said as he placed a stack of papers onto the round table.

“Horne, can’t it wait? We’re about to take a vote.”

“Can’t say it can. What we’ve found was… unsettling.”
I do, as I wrote most of it.

You did, Jistin didn't post some of the more smutty parts, the thing is some of those parts were transitions scenes.

Eh, doesn't matter, so long as he has a good deal of influence.


“Short version?” asked Garrick.

“These groups? They’re all part of an extremist Mirtherrah group. They call themselves the Knights Vigilant of Mirtherrah. Something like a paladin order, I suppose.”

“So we have a foreign military presence attacking our citizens? The Mirtherrah reaction doesn’t make sense then. This would be grounds for us to be making demands to them, not the other way around.”

“Well, that’s the thing, they aren’t strictly with the government, or even the church, really. They’re more like – ”

“By Kromgol’s gaze, are you telling me these guys are fantasy Klansmen?”

All eyes turned to Gregory, who had been flipping through the pages of the report. The Outrealmers’ expressions went from surprise to indignation. Natives like Sykah and One-Eye naturally did not understand their reactions.

“Yeah. Except for the fact that instead of using knight order names, they’re armed like a knight order.”

“Uhh… clansmen? So these people are like a clan?”

“No Sykah. Back in our world, there was a group called the KKK. Under the guise of freedom of religious speech, they spouted a lot of racist crap.”

“So? That’s not much from what the more vocal groups do.”

“Yeah, but they also committed extreme acts of violence,” said Malaugh. “I’m… well, let’s just say that I’m familiar with what they do. And if these jokers – these ‘Knights Vigilant’ are anything like the KKK – then we can’t let them run free. We need to come down on them, and down hard.”

“I agree,” said Hammers. “If what Horne said is true – and I have no reason to believe that he’s wrong – then it’s in our best interest to stomp them out now. Political backlash be damned, best those assholes can do is make noise, and we have enough traders going out to counter it.”

“All right then,” Garrick said, turning to the DMs. “It sounds like we’re all in agreement now. All in favor of public execution, say aye.”

“Aye,” each DM said.

“Those in agreement to authorize a joint Harem Knight, Homeguard, and Blade operation to root out the rest of the bastards in TeeGee, say aye.”

“Aye,” each DM said once more.

“Well all right then. Let’s get some gallows set up. Horne? Inform Dustyn, Fearghaile, and Giovanni. Get the word out to all the other Knights as well. As of today, the Knights Vigilant are to be considered enemies of the state, and are to be captured or killed.”

“Any preference, Garrick?” asked Horne.

“You know the answer to that. Well, let’s close up today. We’re going to have a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

As Gregory stood up and collected his bag, he could not but help wonder how effective an anti-smear campaign would be. Was it possible that the church created this group solely to turn popular opinion against TeeGee? If true, it would mean someone was fishing for an excuse to spill blood, with all of this a twisted ruse.

He hoped he was wrong.

>There is something to be said of having all writing be accounts written in-universe.

While this dramatized account of the Council of DM’s decision featured in the “Investigator Raven Horne” series is far from accurate, it does highlight how the Knights Vigilant Hunt became important several years after the incident when it became the subject of novels and plays. In fact, the reaction of then Iron Father Jeantico Brevelli IV to the Council’s ruling was one of solidarity – while he expressed his “deep sadness that the Council of DMs had not extradited the wrongdoers to Mirtherrah for judgment by their peers,” he nonetheless condemned the actions of the involved branch members of the Knights Vigiliant. Indeed, most Mirthans were sympathetic to TeeGee, with even the illustrious Guardians of Steel’s Brother Captain Vlanius Burtyr of the Second Swords vowing to “investigate and root out any such behavior or teachings that led to these Knights Vigilant turning their backs on the true teachings of the Holy Father.”

It would only be later, after the more radical Puritician faction came to power in 673 when Augustus Freneldo III was named the next Iron Father, that the Iron Church would adopt a hostile position towards TeeGee. This trend was likely accelerated by the rapid spread of the Cult of Terranis amongst many in the Mirtherrah military and the popularity of the “Love Can Bloom” play and its central themes amongst the Mirtherrah people, which the Puriticians saw as an attack on the Mirtherrah beliefs and values.

>I better not be the only one who knows about Terranis.

Even then, anti-TeeGee sentiments amongst the Iron Church did not penetrate the other parts of Mirtherrah until well after 675. The spark that led to the sudden and explosive spread of Puritician views on TeeGee was the publication of the play “The Twelve Just Swing” in 684, which portrayed the Knights Vigilant as “innocent men made victims of the demi-humans made free in TeeGee.” This, with subsequent publications such as the earlier-mentioned novel from the “Investigator Raven Horne” series, brought the Knights Vigilant Hunt back into the public mind. With the memories of TeeGee’s role in the Gun War still in the minds of many, the literary re-treatment of the Knights Vigilant Hunt led many Mirthans to re-evaluate their opinion of TeeGee.

Anti-TeeGee sentiment was further cemented in Mirtherrah in 686 with the untimely death of High King Justinian Hedor, which Puritician-siding nobles being quick to implicate TeeGee as the culprit (it would later be found that King Hedor died at the hands of his wife after discovering his affair with a prominent Free Kingdoms pirate queen), and the subsequent crowning of the Puritician-leaning Hagreth Jurgadon VII to the throne. Anti-TeeGee sentiments would eventually grow to full resentment after it was made known that over the years, TeeGee had actively sabotaged the efforts of Mirtherrah and other nations to develop their own weapons technology to rival that of TeeGee.

Propaganda combined with the abysmal harvests of 687 and 688 resulted in many Mirthans openly resenting TeeGee, believing that saboteurs stymied not only weapons development, but many efforts to duplicate technologies that allowed TeeGee to escape the bad harvest. These feeling would culminate in the “Macerin Massacre” and mark the start of the War of the Hearts in the Summer of 689.
Please tell me its not called the war of hearts due to me. Also I like the idea of using a fictional work to tell a story... its something I wish I had thought of. SNARK. But really I like what you have here.

There, done. Now any inaccuracies portrayed in the Council meeting are quasi-retconned off, and the structure/hierarchy of the Iron Church that has been determined thus far should not conflict with the events to occur.

And before you ask, I forgot why I called it the War of the Hearts, then remembered, then decided to turn it into something slightly more different than what I had originally imagined.

Suffice to say though, I will keep it vague for now, with the only tidbit being the war being harsh to TeeGee.

>Really, I'm just doing as I've been told and not developing it any further until the Gun War has been finished up, because having two simultaneous war accounts would be confusing as fuck.
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>It is now

You are now aware that someone will write a play on the death of King Hedor, and it will involve a raunchy scene between him and his pirate mistress, or some fake plot by clearly evil TeeGee Blades to kill him.
This is retarded
To bad the war isn't about ten years later, if it was then the Teegee breeding experiments would have created the first demon-dragon-kanin maybe a Vampire Dragon also.

Also the Teegee breeding program is a joke about inter racial marriage. Namely Jewel and Rothas in this case.

>>Really, I'm just doing as I've been told and not developing it any further until the Gun War has been finished up, because having two simultaneous war accounts would be confusing as fuck.
also we have the vampire conflict going on as well in 10AA... which has interesting implications for the Elves and such too.
Alright, I haven't been here in, shit, five threads? Six? Whenever the architect guy got here.
What've I missed?
Let's see...

We've kinda sorta banged out the very general timeline from now until 10 or 11AA, and after that it's kinda open ended.

Around 6AA we have what is being called the GunRunner War, where a mad business man is using the guns to accrue wealth and power by selling them and using them for assassination. This ends around 7AA, but not before the shear number of guns and various assassinations sparks war between the Free Kingdoms and Myrthterra. That lasts till around 9AA, and TG is relatively untouched except for an expedition to protect our allies in the Shires.

After that, Gearheart and Jistin manage to find a colony of batfolk, called Chironen now officially (since our other animal-people races all have names besides 'animalname'people). We may or may not have spit in the face of crazy mongol vampires...
I have to say, my intrest has not really been rekindled. I just kind of get the feeling that this whole thing has gotten bogged down.
Well any ideas?
And the most belated statement of the year award goes to...
Thank you, thank you! It's a great honor, really. I just want to thank my friends and family for being with me as I strove for this, and, wait a minute, let me get my script.

See, that's the thing. If I had any good ideas, I would have stuck around and posted them. Not to mention that most of my brainstorming lately has been for CoCGen over on /vg/, and I really doubt bringing that mindset in with me is a good idea. That first bit you did, designing the city and all, that was quite interesting to discuss. The problem is that those worldbuilding bits have become fewer and further between as more stories are written slice-of-life style.
I guess I just found the worldbuilding more interesting then the individual characters, on the whole, with the exception of A Witch's stories. Those were pretty good.
We have a whole world to build. We have just been focusing on Teegee. Which is but a small sectioin of a much larger world and we need people who can build worlds. I can't
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Here the empty map of the world. Through some ideas out.

Well, let's see, there's the political shitstorm that's brewing between 12 AA and 31 AA, with fantasy KKK showing up in 12 AA. While the Knights Vigilant within TeeGee's borders are hunted down, those outside of TeeGee manage to not incur the wrath of the Iron Church for another 5 years, after which point they grow in prominence and you'll undoubtedly see clashes between them and anyone TeeGee related.

So between 17 AA and 30 AA (675 MA and 688 MA, respectively) there's a lot of cloak and dagger shit going on between factions of the Iron Church, the Mirtherrah nobility, and TeeGee agents, with it really picking up after 26 AA (684).


It has been noted in some prior writing that the larger continent to the West is inhabited by Jaguar Felims, to whom one fa/tg/uy in what may be a fantasy Ironman suit was revered as a Quetzalcoatl of sorts.

And if they haven't been introduced already, there does need to be an expansion of Asiastic culture analogues. I for one would like to see the not-Mongols led by Bisonmen, the male equivalent of the Holstauri.
Oh, wow, we really do have full-scale war brewing on the horizon. I think this is a good time to start brushing up on my archery...but then I should have been doing that well before now.
Well sorry I haven't been up to it, but apparently being on vacation makes you Less productive.

I can definitely say I'll have something ready by tomorrow.

Will it be the second of the mushrooms? Will it be slice of life? Only time will tell.

There's also an entire archipelago of weird stuff, and the huge time/space distortion in the ocean prevents most efforts...

As for the East? Well, you could ask Not-Worthy, the Oni of the Witch, or the Red Cardinal. But he won't be picked up on until I've done with the guns and mushrooms.
I remember that story, but it kind of conflicted with other stories, so all of that needs to be worked out.
See, I'm not entirely sure some people aren't looking at this the wrong way.

In a way, this is about fleshing out a world still, but the idea has always been to expand it at the rate of exploration of /tg/ itself.

Who's to say some of us didn't go out to explore and find new stuff? Keeping journals of the lands beyond the Gnoll Wastes, or far past the Elven lands, across the wall of silk. Or into the mysterious western sea and the lands beyond?

I chose to expand upon the city itself (I really need to get that map done better at some point) and on architecture and technology we have available to us.

This has evolved from simple world building into some big pseudo roleplay quest world building THING. If you approach it JUST as a world build exercise then yeah, I can see how you might be preturbed by the way we've gone. But if instead you think of it as "world building through writing stories" then we're getting somewhere.
I guess what I'm getting at is that a lot of us have been keeping in a small place because we don't want to get in the way of world building elsewhere. We're interested in a single part of the world, and have decided to flesh THAT part out.

You want to do something cool ELSE WHERE in the world that meets with the core theme: Monstergirls meet fa/tg/uys thrown into a fantasy world, then go for it. Maybe your portal drug you off course. Maybe you wandered away as so many did rather than stay and build up the walls of Castle Waifu.
I've been thinking about moving on to the rest of the world after the kids get older.
>You want to do something cool ELSE WHERE in the world that meets with the core theme: Monstergirls meet fa/tg/uys thrown into a fantasy world, then go for it. Maybe your portal drug you off course. Maybe you wandered away as so many did rather than stay and build up the walls of Castle Waifu.
arg, that came off more "fuck off and go play in your part of the HK sandbox" than I intended.

I more meant that there's plenty of fresh ground to break where we know little or nothing about. The far north, across the oceans, the far south. We know there's mongol vampires, but we also know ALL of them beyond being fairly mobile and warlike have radically different trends and styles. Some are dracula esque, others are more Ghengis Khan style. We know they're old and that's about it. The Kanim isles are fairly barebone, as are the specifics of the Free Kingdoms. Then there's "not-arabia" and the Gnoll Wastes, Harpy Canyons, and Ork Lands that are so bare bones you could hang them up and call them halloween decorations.

We've BARELY expanded upon

<shrugs> by that time I'll probably be out of this. But I think we shouldn't discourage people from moving out and expanding the rest of the world as they like. I'm completely against anybody calling "DIBS" on future content. Somebody writes first? and others pick up on it? That's canon until the group decides otherwise.
>being on vacation makes you Less productive.
that's because you no longer have anything to put off by writing. you'd be amazed how fast dishes pile up in my house when i don't have homework
I meant Jewel and Destiny. Not irl. As for the timeing that would be sooner than you think me and fluffy already have one story with them at age 13-14. After I finally finish Boss and Hell I'm going to jump out inot what ever part of the world isn't explored.
I know, so do I :P by the time 20 in setting years have passed for my segment of the writing, I'm probably not going to be writing any more. But who knows.
Back after a terribly unpleasant haitus.

There will be tales.
I was planing on just skipping to that, as it doesn't need to be done in order. But me, I plan on writting this stuff until the day I die, I find it a fun and relaxing hobby, though if it ends up being only me, I'll probably just keep the stories to myself or post them else where.
we'll figure it out. For the moment, I know about a dozen people who just quietly read the stories mostly.
Seeing as I'm writing from the perspective of some historian/scholar in some unspecified future, I'm mostly focusing on using lore written within the setting to flesh out events and the influence the nation of TeeGee had on the world.

Would anyone be interested in the interview with an Outrealmer who, after introducing the Halflings to cotton gins and double-rectifier column alcohol stills (at least I think that's a proper name for them), accidentally made the Halflings an economic powerhouse?

>From existing lore, it would be oh-so easy to make Halfling mafia men. So small, so dangerous, so full of booze and Halfling pasta.
With everyone else becoming advanced, are we so determined to let the native human population be left in the dust?

Spread the Uplift love.

Or not, because then they'd just stomp on everyone. Which would be an alternative to everyone stomping on them.

I would like to have that same Outrealmer (being very much SCIENCE! kind of guy) pushing the technological envelope, much to the distaste of the Council's wishes.

And uplifting the human population... if/when I do get around to completing the bare bone events of the War of Hearts, it would have some interesting implications on the direction of technological progression by the humans.

But seriously, do we have not-Mongols yet? I was thinking of making a nation of almost pure demi-humans that are all part grazing animal, where the nation would be like an Indian caste system combined with the Atilla the Hun-esque Mongolia. Except that the castes are more determined by species rather than whatever class your parents were born in.

>As mentioned before, Gnomes have been introduced to aluminum, a prime metal for anything flying.
I am so angry right now it is not even funny. Read in search of bats. the not Mongols who are vampires have a caste system based off of species. It's just that instead of grazing on grass they graze on the lowest caste human and elven slaves.
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...you're really trying to push for the Cross Time Engineer, aren't you?

IF, it was a single person, they'd need backing and resources for traction, and thus investors. IF, it was also a single person, instead of a dedicated team, they'd need considerable genius, memory, creativity, and charisma, if they wanted to get things done, by their hands or others.

IF, it was a single person, they'd need protection or security in order to be safe from being black bagged in the night and pumped for secrets.

My vote gets cast against the concept, as you have it. I'll wait for the others.

not-Mongols? Did you even pay attention to the collab a few threads back? VAMPIRE. KHANS. They cover the steppes, not-Russia, not-Transylvania, and a good bit of stereotypical Castlevania-land.

As for the part grazing animal humans, that made me think.

A question for us all.

With all the cat-, dog-, bug- and what have you races running around, where do they fit on the scale? Cosplayers if you saw them in a bad light? Anthro/Thundercats? even *shudder* furry?

And one more thing!

Vent's done now.
ranci8r and
So far it seems to be the not furry option from your picture.

Don't need to get your jimmies rustled if someone doesn't read everything in every single thread.

I also have yet to encounter anything in the wiki or the archives that would return a hit on "In Search of Bats."

In fact, the term "vampire" is used only once in the wiki, and only two threads in the archives - the thread mislabeled 35 and thread 38 - make any mention of vampires. Bats, likewise, is only mentioned in said thread 38.


Clearly, I have not read the last collab thread a few weeks back, as I've been working through the older threads sequentially when I have free time. Your assumptions that everyone who participates in these threads are 100% caught up with the expansive lore that has been created is somewhat disturbing, especially considering the amount of questions that I have posed that indicate that I am, as stated, not up to date with all the lore.

Some men want to go on an adventure for waifus and glory, to go on the ubiquitous quests. Others want nothing more than to leave their mark on history, some by exploits of martial prowess, others by the revolutions, technological and otherwise, they make.

To say that there is not a camp of Outrealmers unhappy with the Council's decision to keep people from ushering a new age of technology seems unlikely.

>Some guys just want Magitech more than traditional fantasy.
Right forgot that you are new. My bit is rage, GearHeart has a hair trigger for anger. I;m not really mad dammit.

Yes we know, the wiki needs love. Over the holidays if no one else does I plan on getting back to fixing it up. Just that In search of bats was the biggest and longest piece yet and took up multiple threads. It is assumed somewhat that one would have a base knowledge of the BIG parts. But your point stands.

There is a camp of Outrealmers unhappy with the Council decision yes, I'm one of them. Jistin most likely another. Also there is Boss the most famously against the Council in regards to tech and industrialization.

Would that become a potential source of unrest in the future?

I mean, think about it this way. You're a child of an Outrealmer, and Dad (or Mom), whenever they'd tell you about where they came from, paint a wonderous place where science and technology - to you magic, in a sense - made the world so much different, so much easier. And as you go about your business in school and whatnot, you come across one of the Hole engineers, or one of the Outrealmer teachers, who are more than happy to tell you about the technological wonders of their world and how they do not agree (either totally or partially) on the the Council's stance on technological advancement.

And then you begin to think about how easier life would be if we had those things - better medicine, hot water any time you want it, refrigerators, cars, phones and all that fun stuff.

Then you factor in the first lines of the Article of Gentlemen - how TeeGee is supposed to guide people to a better future and be a light in the darkness. And to the people who don't fully understand the terror of atomic bombs, it would seem that the natural conclusion is that the Council is saying one thing, but doing the opposite.

And really, how long do you think it would take with such sentiments, for DMs who believe in technological proliferation make it onto the Council?

How long do you think it would take for other nations to see all the great stuff TeeGee has and try to emulate it using magic to solve certain design problems? You can't discount human ingenuity, even in a fantasy world.
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Damn right I'm against the council on their laws on technology and on spreading it. See you assholes are always saying why didn't I just open a fuckn grocery. I'll tell you why. I'm a man of limited means and skill, I came into this world knowing only one thing, guns and machine work of the likes of industrialization. I didn't get magic like all you sparkly fucks. I'm not as young and spry as you knights. I went to the council to propose bringing the age of industrialization into this crap sack world. And what do I get? They spit in my face and then some snot nosed punk of a blade tries to steal from ME. It never would have had to come to this, I could have worked with the council. We could have brought in a new age of peace and prosperity. But no, they slap away my offered hand and tell me to open a grocery. Like I'm some tired old senile man, content to break his back in a pointless job, when greatness is to be had. So there I am, here I am, with but two skills and a kid to look after. WHAT am I to do? Remember all you tread upon people of Teegee, your precious council of self righteous bastards brought this down on you. I intended to turn my guns into tools for the people, but I lacked the knowledge and skills to do so. I reached out for someone to help me and I was left wanting. Now I am left with but one course to provide for my son. Let the blood run free and fast, that my sins may not linger as long as they could, let no more men such as I be born, may the council come to see that no matter what they do people will seek out a better life through technology. With every story we tell of it the more tempting it is to the young ones. We were to be like teacher to these people is what we said. We proclaimed to be a light in this darkness. Well let the light burn bright, let my sins teach.
Yep, already written some about it. Did you read the one with Lilly and GearHeart talking under a tree after going to the edge of the Serrid dessert. He gave a speech about how he worries about tech and magic mixing and how the atomic bomb is bad imagine what could be done with magic also and so on. I also did a piece about how we need to introduce tech in a limited and guided fashion. To guide people to a better future. Also this is part of the whole reason GearHeart would never even try or want to be on the council but in the direst of times. Much rather be a law adviser and friend to the DMs.
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This was me, just forgot to change my name back and so on. Quick Sir Shark distract them.

It's possible I've read that letter, also possible that I've yet to reach it. I'm aware of the arguments for the limited and guided fashion to introducing technology.

I'm simply saying that the new generation will be unable to properly comprehend the true terror of the atomic bomb (it's arguable that Millenials do not either). And really, how easy do you think it is to fall into the "we know the issue, thus we can avoid it" trap?

I'm just saying that to assume that TeeGee can control the advancement of technology past 20 or 30 years seems unlikely, considering just how many new ideas the Outrealmers brought with them and the new problems that they create.

>This will also be addressed in the War of the Hearts, as I find it difficult to imagine the other nations remaining technologically stagnant while TeeGee is off playing with guns and stuff.
I know that. As for the rest we do have a few immortals kicking around and also the blades are working to keep innovation down I think I remember reading. Though I could be wrong. But one thing to remember is that even in thirty years they would not get all that far given how far behind they are. Though magic will help some.

I think something you may not be considering is a non-parallel progression of technology.

While the Blades are trying their best to keep innovation down, it must be considered that the people of this world, considering different paradigms associated with being in a world of magic, are likely to find different solutions to the same problems that we have faced.

In fact, I'm thinking, again, of making that one of the aspects of the War of the Hearts - after it was realized that TeeGee was in fact hampering innovation, I'd imagine it would become much more difficult for TeeGee agents to keep further innovation down, as other nations now know what TeeGee has been doing and are going to step up measures to combat it.

A real-world example of how this line of thought is so clearly wrong would be Germany after WWI. Now, I'm no history buff, do I do recall Germany being devastated after the war, and barred from developing certain weapons. Weren't they able to overcome that in roughly 30 years to become a military powerhouse with weapons technology that surpassed that of the Allies?

>I suppose my major contention is the fact that TeeGee, despite being a newcomer, is able to exert so much control, and seems to perpetually face incompetence from their human neighbors.
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Oooh, can we turn "open a grocer" into a running gag for any Outrealmer villains or other "men of vision"? Pleease?

Also, you've finally mentioned your legal acumen after so many threads. I've got nothing much to add, watch this space in the next 24 hours for a Clover shaped wall of text.

Let me borrow a bit from Genius: the Transgression and Warhammer. There exists a dedicated branch of the Iron Church, called the Iron Vaults (gotta go with the theme, here) which house all manner of devices and artefacts. Ask the layman, they think its god-blessed gold or vaults of Excaliburs. Ask the clergyman, they'll tell you its where dangerous things are kept.

Ask an Outrealmer? Warehouse 13 meets SCP.

Another odd thing is that these Vaults seem to predate the founding of Myrthterra by a good millenia...

Where was I? Right. Slow things happen when your surrounded by foes (perceived or otherwise), the slave trade brings labour (to quelch ideas of labour saving devices - see Ancient Greece/Rome) and you know that with great innovation comes great disaster, (See the Lost/Fallen Empire of the Driders)

That's all from me, sleep calls.

For thread bumping posts, discuss the above.
"The cycle of death and destruction was supposed to end with us."

"We were to be the start of a new age. A destiny of light; and Empyrean Age."

"Yet these tombs call out to us, all the heroes and villains vanquished within, cry out at once, begging for justice."

"We will fight for what we believe in. We will take a side, and our wrath will be furious."

-excerpt from Sir Artorias's address to the Questing knights during the hunt for the Knights Vigilant
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And a bump with something about the duality of martial and magic, or some such nonsense like that.
What your forgetting is that these people are about dark ages intelligent. They don't have the whole need drives innovation. Magic is there but at the same time it is rare. The church is against tech. As long as they stay on the warpath they won't be able to progress to the next rung of tech that is needed for the war tech. As for why incompetence. We are genre savvy and just know more. These people haven't even really discovered medicine as they rely on healers with magic. So there goes the whole branch of chemistry for one example.

Thats up to whoever rights the next villain.
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Crazed sunbro bump
I do believe the line between Furry and Not Furry is basically the line between a human with animal attributes and an animal with human attributes. Thus, pretty much every demi-human race looks Human with some animal attributes.

So you know, we don't actually suppress technology, we just suppress technology we introduced. These sorts of innovations need to be organically introduced into the fabric of society so risk of large scale strife is minimized. Natural progression of technology is completely acceptable, but of course, as people have already explained, things go slow.

Another bit of advice: Keep It Simple, Stupid. Coming up with grand high fantasy magitech society seems cool on paper, but it's not what this setting is about. This is more about individual struggle and overcoming of adversity. This is why most of us have opted to create characters as opposed to just writing events. There are large overarching events, but we tend to focus on the perspectives of individual characters as they experience them, so the idea is to create a general idea which the rest of us can work and expand on as each of our characters experiences it. Does that make sense?
Speaking of adventures from a personal point of view.

Think I'm gonna do some catacombs exploration in my journals next. Good chance to introduce Ingelill too.
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please tell me TeeGee has tiny bears that poop toilet paper
That would be handy but i don't think so Tim.
That said, some insane biomancer amongst us probably made one...
This is retarded.
to be fair, it's not like it's a thought that just pops into your head one day, those who hunt elves seems like a pretty /tg/ show, so i'm sure there are more than just me that have seen it and want to replicate it out of simple usefulness, so it's not that an insane idea
Well, you seem interested in the idea? Why not write up the creation of these interesting little creatures when you learned magic and got a handle on it?

hi nofunfag
You know for once I am with nofunfag, tp craping bears is... I don't even know
It's hilarious is what it is.
And the thing is, as silly and crazy as it is... you can't say that one of us wouldn't have tried it.

Any other setting? I'd be against it. But the problem with me arguing against it here is "I can't believe that one of our magical fa/tg/uys wouldn't have thought of this and then tried to implement it"



But limiting yourself to the perspective of a singular character is just so... boring. At least to me. I'm more interested in world building - preferably the creation of bare-frame events that other people can further fill in with whatever they feel like so long as it's not pants-on-head-stupid.

I will take note with the "dark ages intelligent" thing. People in the dark ages weren't inherently less intelligent than people today (it can be argued that we are just as equally stupid) - they however were more ignorant and generally did not have the larger knowledge base that we all enjoy today.

And what you say is somewhat contradictory - the fact that magic is there but is rare, would mean that people would be forced to "discover" medicine since healers with magic would by what you've said, also be rare. Furthermore, there are limitations in magic that's either outright stated or implied in much of the past material, thus the rare healing magic that people rely on would have limitations. These limitations would surely be a drive for innovation - or the drive to somehow make life better for yourself.

I mean, if people are starving, or people die from disease, you can bet your ass that someone is going to think, "well gee, this sucks, I'm sure there's a way to make this better somehow." This doesn't even have to include war technologies.

Also, chemistry was predominantly borne from the desire to turn lead into gold, AKA alchemy.

>And now I'm going to work on something completely different that is somewhat in line with Clover's stuff that he is totally free to use and/or steal and is perfect QUESTAN hooks.
>But limiting yourself to the perspective of a singular character is just so... boring. At least to me. I'm more interested in world building - preferably the creation of bare-frame events that other people can further fill in with whatever they feel like so long as it's not pants-on-head-stupid.
Go for it then. If we don't like them as a group we might downgrade them from "major events" to things that didn't effect us all that much, even if they didn't happen. Do try to keep it within 50AA though :3

Well, there is the yet-to-be-fully defined War of the Hearts that happens in 31 AA. And the further I move away from what most are working on (the 7~12 AA time frame it seems) the less likely I am to accidentally conflict with something someone's already established.

Plus, it gives the opportunity for writers to move away from Outrealmers and work with their immediate descendants (though once we go past grandchildren, the premise of the setting is lost, so I won't go there).

Unless we decide to create a "second arrival" event, in which more Outrealmers show up. Which could be fun, although I expect the setting to be done to death by then.

>Anyway, back to writing legends which can inspire quests. We need more Holy Grail-esque type legends. What kind of fantasy setting are we without those all over the place?
>But limiting yourself to the perspective of a singular character is just so... boring
Who said anything about a singular character? I've created and written Sir Fearghaile, Kikki, Sir Yankee the Manhunter, Lady Samantha of the Grove, Dorf Strongfast (a dwarven cartographer), Sir Pippin the Steadfast, first suggested Sir Gary the Knight Quartermaster to allow us to describe our primary characters, not to mention the dozens of supporting characters and collaborations where I may or may not write half of the other character (within reason and approval of the collaborator). This doesn't even have to do with the fluff-building I've suggested and compromised on.

You don't have to keep to just ONE thing, but as of right now, I think Mirthterrah has had a good amount of attention in the larger over-arching bits. We can see this War of Hearts through, but keep in mind that large event building has to be so barebones since other people have to contribute and add to the story, that it won't ultimately be a satisfying pursuit to simply build those events.

Give me a moment and I can comment on the rest too.

Also, Jim, if you're available, I need some boss-knowledge to get through this Sir Yankee bit. Mind giving a hand?
I got characters out the ass to: Alice, GearHeart, Lilly, Meina, Seamus, Jewel, The Boss, Jake and Piko. All with their own little stories. Lilly just happens to be the one I like to write the most.

The Flyenn effect disagrees with you. And most every modern definition of intelligence. But never mind all that. Also healing magic as hardly rare, priests everywhere.

True, you got me there. I've forgotten about Kikki and many of the other characters. Though to be fair, with unrelated characters, it can be difficult to tell if it's all one person or a group of different writers incorporating others' characters into their character's story.

Still, I much prefer to creating characters "on the fly" to describe different events, so the whole setting doesn't become "Sir X and his merry friends." An exaggeration, but I'm sure you see my point. It sometimes feels like there's only a dozen characters that the world revolves around, with others being relegated to sidekick-status or slightly-higher-than-mook-status. Again, a generalization that I'm sure you can refute rather easily, but it's something I'd rather avoid entirely by creating more characters each with smaller roles. A "sum is greater than the whole of its parts," if you will.

Concerning the War of the Hearts though, I was hoping to make it similar to the Orc Invasion incident, in which the basic events were outlined/defined by one person, then others quickly filled in the gaps with what their characters were doing during those times.

Funny, the Flynn Effect describes as an increase in IQ test scores over time, which did not exist during the dark ages, and which wikipedia seems to indicate that there is a disagreement over the implications of what this trend really means. And last I checked, intelligence doesn't necessarily refer to one's knowledge, but rather an ability to reason and understand logic. But still, you have the contradiction of "magic is there, but is rare" while simultaneously saying that healing magic isn't. But I suppose that's moot, as I'm not entirely interested in the mechanics of magic.

>It's magic, don't you know that you don't have to explain shit?
Healing magic or divine is more common than arcane due to Myrthierre haveing a crap ton of priests.

The ability to reason and understand logic is fundamental to innovation. As for you using Wikipedia as an argument, I don't even know how to respond to that, but like I said its not really important. So NEVERMIND.

Okay, I'll drop the whole intelligence crap for now.

>Though Wikipedia being an invalid source comes from teachers and academics realizing that unlike published papers, Wikipedia is fluid and open to constant edits, and thus a crafty student could edit the page to make it say what they want and say it's then valid. The clever thing to do is to look at the sources cited by Wikipedia and reading those.

But now you've brought up a somewhat different issue - the name of Myrthterrah things related.

I've seen the name of the God referred to both Myrthter and Mirthter. The people have been called Myrthans, or Mirthans as I've been using them.

Now you pull this "Myrthierre" out of nowhere.

So what are the proper nouns and pronouns to be used here? Because half of these are missing the second "t" that's in the Myrthterrah shown in the map, and there doesn't seem to be any consensus if a "y" or "i" should be used.

>While I wait for a consensus on spelling to be made, I will return to making GLORIOUS QUEST HOOK LEGEND featuring GENERICALLY NAMED GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATIONS and VAGUELY DEFINED AWESOME POWER THINGS.
I don't trust Wikipedia as I remember all the big screw ups with it.

That was my fingers sticking to the keys in werid ways, don't type well eating dorritos and nachos with your hands. Name of the god is Mirthter. Name of the capital is Myrthter, and the people are called Myrthans, and the name of the kingdom is Myrterrah. Yes its fucking confusing. Blame Fearghaile.
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>The clever thing to do is to look at the sources cited by Wikipedia and reading those.
Well, not even really that.

The name of the capital is Midyas ("The Middle of Things" in the old tongue). It's on the map. The name of the God is Myrthter, the name of the nation is "Mirthterrah" (Land of Myrthter) and the people are called "Mirthans" (Of Myrthter). Not really that confusing.
Well since I can't keep them straight I would beg to differ, but I am notoriously bad with names so there is that.

You know what, I'm going to pen it down as something that nobody tends to agree on, as there does not seem to be any kind of widespread schooling past learning basic math and reading skills. Thus you get what happened before dictionaries became widespread, in which many people ended up spelling things as they sounded.

>A minor civil war within the Iron Church ensues because one side insists the proper spelling is Mirthter, while the other insists Myrthter, and there's a third that insists Myrthr that the other two equally hate.

>And when I say look at the sources, I mean actually track them down and read them, as sometimes the quotes/summaries used by Wikipedia don't make sense without the rest of the document.

Speaking of Wikipedia, is there any kind of Almanac/Encyclopedia created in-setting? It seems like something that TeeGee, with the Gentlemanly Articles saying that they are to be a guiding light, would do.
Olin is working on one. In story GearHeart is writing a guide to flora, fauna, and locations.Various people are working on converting all the PDFs to books and Thai has his book thing.

Okey then.

Also, do we have any better world maps other than what was given here? >>21930049

Because no offense to the person who made it, that map kind of sucks.

>Not that I could do better without having to resort to scanning a piece of paper.

I wanted to write a piece of a group of disgruntled/wanderlusty Outrealmers just deciding to pack up their shit and head out on a big expedition to some lands unknown/uncharted in an effort to expand the world and maybe introduce a new species of monster people.

I was thinking something like rat/mouse people who act very much like Jawas.
Go for it, as for the map Jistin drew it in like five seconds. He said he was going to make a better one, but I don't think he ever got to it.

Great! Now I have more things that I need/want to do! So have the start of the Elder Myth I'm working on. Adventure time? It better start one.

In my quest to learn of the Outrealmers of TeeGee and how they brought a storm of change to our world, I would make it a habit to accompany groups of Harem Knights who would loot decrepit dungeons and ruins, or as they called it, “dungeon crawling.” It was in these ruins that I would find strange runes, symbols, and fragmented stories which, individually, made little sense.

However, there were several oddities about these little artefacts that the archeological sleuth in me could not ignore. The first was that many of the symbols and runes had a certain consistency across all the ruins. The second was that the fragmented stories often shared similar imagery, meanings, and themes. The last was that these ruins and dungeons were separated by thousands of miles, thousands of years, and were constructed by a myriad of races and civilizations.

At first, I thought them to be simple coded messages left by previous adventurers for those who would come after them, as it was known for these places to, as the Outrealmers would say, “respawn and rearrange the map.” This theory was quickly disproved by the fact that the Harem Knights I traveled with rarely noticed these oddities unless I pointed them out, and that they were often hidden away in out-of-sight places.
And already not sure what to think. But go on, I want to see where you go with this.
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That map is not canon and has a LOT of issues. We still haven't entirely explored the continent we have, for cry'n out loud. Rodent-folk living in the desert just north of the Orklands would be pretty good though. Would fit the whole Jawa trinket trade thing.

but please, PLEASE do not go crazy pushing the borders of the map. Making the setting too complicated will overwhelm even people who write for it. we don't want... >>21945024

Damnit, Jim. You better not have spawned us another Clover.
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Actually, I'm just waiting to see where they roll with this.
He, so far I think this story is going to fall under the not canon category. Its not my fault some people have unique ideas about the setting, and don't read all the stories. Or ask questions that are important. Also, Chronicler I don't mean to pick on you. Look, starting small, getting you feet wet first might go better. But like I said, lets see what else you have for this story.

North-lands it is! (I recall someone taking a trip down to the southern Gnoll lands, though I don't remember if it was ever finished properly).


Again, it's a standalone legend thing that Clover is free to implement (in fact it can easily play off something he wrote earlier). Anyway, here's the next part.


After collecting these scraps and tidbits of information, I was able to piece together something that resembled a unifying myth shared by virtually every nation and civilization at some period in time. Further investigation into current nations (save TeeGee) showed that it did exist, either hidden away in some dark catacomb or obscure scroll, or told to me in whispers in places that would be considered the fringe of society, often away from ears held by the dominant faith.

In every case, this story seemed to regale something of a primitive creation myth. While there were the likely discrepancies determined by the people who told it coupled with the corruption of time, there were three key themes in every story: an ancient creator who brought life to the world, chaos repelled by star-riding people, and a great society from which all people were said to come from. Like any inquisitive scholar, I set out to find the origin of the story, and perhaps, a central civilization from which all descended from.

After visiting and scouring every library, great and small, of wizards, institutions, private collections of nobles, and one lich obsessed with a form of dueling by quickly spoken rhymes, I was no closer to finding the answers I sought. If anything, the few results I did manage to uncover only seemed to indicate that my hunch was right, that this myth permeated every culture and society in some manner, and had all come from a single, ancient source. Thus after one fruitless evening crawling through a skeleton infested catacomb with a pair of Harem Knights (I had taken only a paltry sum of the “loot,” as I was too depressed at my lack of results), I found myself in a seedy tavern with too much ale in me and a young dark-skinned beauty clothed in red latched onto my arm who seemed intent on drowning me in cheap alcohol and the delicious little bread wands filled with cheese. I have been told that that particular delicacy was created by an Outrealmer.

But I digress.

I would later find myself lying naked next to the young woman in a room draped in red sheets, with the soft glow of the many red candles illuminating many of the symbols and icons that I had become familiar with over the past five years. Before I could take any action, the woman drew herself close and kissed me, and it was the first time that I noticed her inhuman golden eyes with cross shaped irises. As she broke the kiss, my vision began to swim, and the woman whispered painfully loud into my ear, “I will bring you to the blind hierophant of the mad hills, for his song is what you seek.”

Before I could ask what price I was to pay, she pressed her lips against mine once more, sending my mind to cavort with her eyes being the only island of sanity I could cling to.

“Do not worry,” she cooed to me. “But you’ve already paid the toll,” she whispered as she pushed me down and mounted me.

I cannot recall the details of that frightfully euphoric night. The next few days were spent wandering through a haze, sometimes a dream, other times a garish nightmare, always ending with a passionate night wrapped in red sheets with my witch. I do not know how long this continued, but I eventually found myself climbing a steep mountain path, surrounded by nothing but dead grey stone, with my red-draped enchanted witch being the only source of color for me to see and follow. As she crested the top of a hill, I followed eagerly, only to find myself standing before a small cave created by two massive boulders wedged against one another.

With my mistress nowhere in sight, I took the only path: forward into the cave. My mind clearing, I found my way lighted by a combination of glowing stones and cave fungi, the only other sign of life I could see. As I delved further into the cave, it became clear that it was formed by a collapse of a mountain in the distant past, with the path simply being the space created by massive boulders.

After what felt like hours of walking, the path began to widen, and soon I saw evidence of a civilization: the stones I walked over turned to ancient tiles, ancient columns shattered and standing, solitary walls to buildings I would never know, and braziers occupied by ominous pale green flames shone my way. The same iconography of the myth could be found in these ruins, with strange hieroglyphs and runes

>Crap, cut off a sentence. Oh well.

similar yet alien adorning the braziers and columns. If I was in a normal state of mind, I would have been excited over this simple find, and would have been busy scribbling down these symbols into my notebooks to translate.

But I was not, and I was fixated at the tantalizing flashes of red before me. Knowing that my questions would soon be answered, I followed the echoing laughter of the red witch further into the cave until I found myself standing outside in a crater characterized by a large stone mound at its center and giant shattered statues. As I approached the mound, it moved, and I soon found myself staring into massive eyes clouded by putrid colored cataracts.

This was no mound, I realized, but a dragon. A dragon so old, it was unlike any that I had ever seen before, with scales so large that one could mistake them as jagged boulders, eyes blinded by cataracts that seemed to stare into your soul, and hair growing from its face like wild moss under a Dryad’s touch.

I held my breath, partly in awe, mostly in fear, as I knew in my bones that this massive beast was an ancient dragon despite being so different from the ones rarely seen today. His mouth moved and the earth rumbled, and my bones felt like they were being crushed under the weight of his words in a language long dead. Yet in my mind, I understood somehow.

“Oh ye child of the stars, you seek answers to a question you do not yet know, answers whose meaning have long been lost to time and earth and wind. But I will tell you, for I remember, for this song must be told and retold until the day with which it will be no more.”

And with that, the great dragon stood up and reared his head back, towering before me in a sight unparalleled by even the highest mountain peak, and began to sing in his bone-crushingly heavy language.

“In the age before time was counted,
There was but the life giver, the spirit with no name.
In an instant, all that was he made with his own blood,
And in that age there was peace.
Birthed from boiling lava came the Aza’Durrg, mighty and immortal.
From the love between the cold sky and the stars came the F’lasim of the sky, of gray and order.
Spat from the fires of the weeping earth and the rage of yet-to-be came the Ur’astim, of red and chaos.
And from the heart of the spirit came the many D’ptsaulim, his children of many forms and their family-tribes.”

“And for a time there was peace, until from the life came the death,
For to have one, the other must be.
And thus the world was torn asunder by the Auretim, those who came from nothingness and void,
Who sought to consume what was of the maker.
To his children he sent the Star-Riders, creations of the other,
to rid the world of the Auretim and bring peace to the four.
And for a time, the four-and-one together made peace in the land of Valaduur.”

“The Star-Riders, children of another,
made children with the D’ptsaulim, from which the Halves, strong and wild were borne,
and from the Aza’Durrg the Dragons, the timeless and restless,
and from the Ur’astim the Daemons, free and unfettered,
and from the F’lasim the Celestials, aloof and ordered.
And for a time and a half, Valaduur was beautiful, and the maker smiled.”

“But soon the Star-Riders and their children came to know envy,
For they had no true maker to smile upon them.
In their youth and their rage, Valaduur was split, the four-and-five split
And as the Star-Riders did unto the Auretim, they did unto the four,
And the maker’s blood seeped into the land.
And from his blood, thick and powerful,
was the power to change brought to the world, and this was called magic.
With this power, the Five struck the maker,
And where his heart fell to the earth was the center of Valaduur, now shattered,
Fearing the power of creation, the Star-Riders and their children fled,
To the North, South, East and West,
Did they claim the world made for the four.”

“And thus the last four sing,
The last to know where Valaduur lay.
The last to know the Auretim,
The last to know their time again.
For the maker forgives,
And in the time when the land feeds on the blood of the five,
There will come new Star-Riders,
To reclaim the heart
And see Valaduur rise once more!”

With his song ended, the ancient dragon roared once more, the world protesting the cries of such an ancient being. And I found myself falling into red once more, my final memories being the sight of the dragon’s golden eyes burning this memory into my soul, so that I would remember the song imparted to me.

“Sleep now, child of the Fifth. Sleep, and never return to this land.”

To this day I do not know how I came back to that tavern, but I from what I know my journey took two weeks. I do not know what the price I paid that day, but sometimes at night, when I find myself staring out a window into the cold darkness, I swear I can see a flash of red, and golden eyes staring from the glass.

Okay, all done.

Take it as you will, in-setting characters can either treat it as a prophecy, or the ramblings of a man who got higher than a kite on the moon.

Feel free to tie this into anything you're writing, I simply ask that the Ancient Dragon have no name, and the Red-Clad Woman have no specific species specified to her.

>Because she's a ditto and she ditto'd the scholar who recorded this tale. Maybe.
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(Sounds too high pitched to write down)!!

I am not sure how to take that, but considering your image name, that is not a positive reaction.

And yes, I'm aware that I can't do the whole song/poetry for shit. Can't know if you don't try, now would you?

>I'm going to go back to plotting out the War of the Hearts or fleshing out the "Macerin Massacre" now.
In the dark of night, two demons in suits were lifting a giant statue of a dragon, and were moving it back into the ocean from which it had come. As they knew for sure it did not belong on the cliff over looking the ocean.

"Dagnabit, who keeps pulling Eon out of the fucking ocean. I fucken swear the only way to kill his fuckn kind and it still don't take. When I find the asshole who keeps dredging his fat ass out of the water I will do horrible things to him." Said the one in red.

"More horrible than turning him into a statue?" replied the one in black.


"What could be worse than that?"

"Servant to both The Demon Lord and Lilith at the same time."

"....Fuck that, anything is better than that."

"I know, why do you think I fuckn picked it?"

"I bet ya ten souls its the fucking squids."

"Suckers bet, my money is on its some fey thinking this is just so fuckn hilarious."

"Well to be far it is, remember the madness plauge back about 700 years ago?"

"Course, I'm not mad yet. That was a...thing."

"Yes a thing. Makes sense that the squids wouldn't want old Eon the Chaos spewer shiting up their homes."

"Eon did not age well."

"Not many of us did. A- there blazing balals that was close. The Demon Lord aged great."

"Thats cause he hasn't.

Having carried back to the edge they gave it a hearty shove and Eon the mad and undying dragon god went plummeting back down into the briny deeps.

"Imagine what would have happened to the plan if he stayed out to long." Said the one in black.

"We would all be dead. Zombie apocalypse, love that word zombies."

"Speaking if which, we need to hurry to make it in time for the start of All Flesh Must Be Eaten."

"As usual, your right."

The two set of at a break neck pace for Teegee,
a few minutes in the one in red said to the one in black. "You knows, someone really needs to remind eversbodys not to seek beyond the grave. One thing to pull out some small fry, helping a old god break out, thats bad, very bad."

"Its all those new fangled necromancers no respect for the rules."

"Two demons preaching rules I don't believe you."

The two shared a hearty laugh at their old joke, so old that it was only a day younger than demons.

After the laughter stopped, they both came to have a solme look on their faces.

Red asked more to him self than to black, "You really think Eon is mad enough to shatter the aether?"

"Break the balance and the peace?"

"Kill every living thing?"

"Not the squids though."

"No, the squids would die from the mindbreak."


"Fuck, we need to find a way to take care of Eon once and for all."

"What about the human?"

"Leave him be for now, but while he dreams we will extract what ever he knows from his head, replace it with some nonsense."

"Knowing Eon it already is 100 and ten perfect, just that its also dangerous nonsense."
Yeah, unless everyone likes the idea Chronicler put out, this is my option for explaining that whole thing away. AS IT FITS WITH WHATS BEEN DONE.

You know, it would have been much easier on your part to simply say, "that doesn't fit with what we've done already" or "that conflicts with something already done." In which case, it simply becomes an in-setting written account that is either treated within the universe as "another creation myth"/legend or again, some guy who was tripping hard.

Though if what you've written is taken as fact, then it now implies there's possibly a necromancer or some other entity trying to get someone to unwittingly resurrect an insane dragon god.

Which works either way, I suppose, though it's troubling how this can be seen as setting a precedent for "explaining away" or adding new material that significantly alters the treatment of another's work.

>As you clearly did not read the second line in >>21945981
One I said it was an option only if people didn't feel that your bit fitted in the canon. Two, you made major alterations to various things with zero consensus.

As for reading >>21945981
that came as I was halfway through with what I was writing. As far as I care never one is canon. As for the "precedent" yes unfortunately there is. Theres a lot of stuff that got ignored or explained away. The thing is this is a colab work. So working together is a big deal as is knowing whats going on. Its like with The Boss story, there was a lot of talking and planing before the general idea came to a place where everyone found it workable. This was done as its a big deal of a story.

Its up to you and everyone else if your story is canon, same with mine. Look writing major world shaking events right off the bat is not a way to make friends. Everyone built up to it. I like your writing, I like the story, but you said to take it as you will. I took it as the ramblings of a man driven insane by a outsider god creature. Also for context you made CLOVER rage, this guy is the second chillest person I have ever talked to.

Fair enough.

There didn't seem to be any resistance to introducing Jawa-mouse people as mentioned in >>21944954

So would it be fine if I progressed with that plan while the Gun War arc is finished before completing the whole "Macerin Massacre" and War of the Heart bit? That seems to be one of the few ideas I've had that doesn't seem to step on someone's toes.

And for planning purposes, the Macerin Massacre was intended to be something akin to the Boston Massacre, where not a lot of people actually died, but it gets blown out of proportion and becomes an inflammatory event.

Again, keeping with the theme of the impact of TeeGee on this world, would I be messing anyone's plans if I do pieces on the accidental spread of rather harmless Outrealmer technology (sunglasses and teeth fillings come to mind)?
Depends. Is it going to involve them recreating it from scratch with hilarious results?
A thought occoured to me...what kinds of alcohal do we make in Teegee? Beers and ales, or do we go for the more refined tastes of wine, or perhaps the harsher tastes of whiskey and vodka?
What do we drink? Likely a variety, with various beers being the most common. What we make depends on our farmlands. We couldn't make vodka, for example, without a nice potato supply.
We have one more thing to deal with between your stuff and the gunrunner wars.

EG: Vampire Attack, which will be an event very much like the ork attack.
Makes sense. I was wondering because I had some gutwien(hot spiced wine) earlier and I think it would make a great addition to our winter menus.
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Read that as "Manus"... For a moment I thought you missed our time together, Artorias.
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Damnit, I thought I killed you already.

Also, misspelled that. It's gluhwein.
Actually, it won't be much like the ork attack. Remember the council went, "Hey, go take care of that." So I figured that Jistin and Jim would round up some knights and go enact guerilla warfare on them.

First off, just want to say sorry for always raging at you. That out of the way,soread if rather harmless Outrealmer tech is a good idea, just think about cause and effect. As for the Jawa micepeople, unless you go full clover then it should be fine.
There's still the crazy angry lover girl whose going on a warpath towards us remember?
Yeah, I know, we going to collided with her most likely.
Oh please, we both know it was that kleptomaniac mute from a distant time.
I've been reading up on Harem Knights after stumbling on this thread the other day. I was hoping I could contribute in someway with my own writefaggotry. Does anyone have a problem with the forming of the Church of Waifu? Basically the church wants to spread waifuism and preaches that there is a waifu for everyone out there.
Teegee has various religions brought over from the Outrealm so go for it.
Sounds like a good idea, we need a church in castle waifue town that isn't the iron church
Well, it kind of comes across as a bad God Shroom trip but makes several associations about the world that I'm not sure are ones we really want even suggested. It's unnecessarily obtuse and doesn't even fit within the tone, much less the lore. The minor technology leaks would be more along those lines though.

So you know, potato Vodka didn't come about until AFTER they were discovered in Peru. Most Vodkas are in fact made of wheat. And something very close to Vodka (if not vodka outright) is distilled by the Dwarves.

Other than that, wines, ales, meads, beers, whiskeys, and liqueurs are all in production in this world already. TeeGee's production would likely just bring in Old Realm techniques such as hopping up IPAs or wine aging.

Not sure if that would go over so well as a religious institution, since it's already a stance held by the state, and you probably wouldn't be able to preach in Mirthterrah without threat of death, but go for it. Speaking of which, what religion DID we bring back? I can imagine someone had a bible, but...
There was a short about an intercepted missive, most of them containing religions coming from various media (eg Haruhiism), not sure if they had actual religions though. Too lazy to find it right now.
Oh, I remember that. I'm just wondering if we still have people going around praying to Jesus. Or the Buddha. Or Ala. I'm thinking of implementing it in the next story where Lem goes to the mountaintop to meet the Dwarven Mystic, but I'm kind of wondering about people who kept their faith (or rediscovered it), even in an entirely different universe.
Maybe the pantheon of tropes?
Well I'm for it. You got a convert in me.

Does it preach the parables of Tenchi? The prime example of a man who found his Waifus, but was too indecisive to enjoy his life with them?
Indeed it does brother! The Book of Waifu has many lessons taken from the Old World on the dangers of Not Choosing.
That's a lot of Gods.
Not to mention the Tenchi Masaki IS the God of Harems in the Trope Pantheon.

A lot of gods to cover a lot of things for those who are genre savvy, like Haruhi herself being the Goddess of Tropes.
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i'll be praying to yuki and yuno, the gods of mad love
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I have found my deity to pray to before breaking food... Swedish Style.
Anyone still in here?
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I am.
Kind of surprised people haven't been spooging all over that Dark Souls II announcement trailer.
That's because no one wants to awaken the Spergwraith Covenant over Miyazaki passing over the Director baton.

Yes. I was thinking of the sunglasses as becoming a fad amongst Serridans who like to decorate them with gems and stuff, resulting in nobility running around with bling'd out sunglasses.

Teeth fillings... not so hilarious, as telling people, "oh, we put metal caps on our teeth that have holes on them" is likely to be copied by more eccentric individuals.

Are there any more somewhat harmless bits of technology that Outrealmers would accidentally introduce to the world? I can see glasses becoming popular once people who need them figure out why we use them, but other than that, not much else comes to mind (ball point pens maybe?)
Nah, quills would be easier to produce. What about potato cannons?
Do you Really want me to go get a list of everything medieval Europe Doesn't have?

Do you?

Chocolate we let slide because it was a rare trade good and a premium, but the rest?

If the Witch is here, I have a question because of the results of her latest story.

Is her geas permanently removed? I'm currently interpreting the story about the pixies as it was only the one geas that was put upon her, and that the geas bound her to The Rules until it was fulfilled.
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I don't think I've seen Silver the witch in a little while, actually.

I wonder where she went...
Wait, there's a Dark Souls 2 trailer? brb
Well, that looks interesting.

Seems an order of humans is hunting down undead, and they look to be trying to add in a bit more narrative this time.

I'll have to do up something on the gluhwein tomorrow. It's supposed to be snowing pretty heavily the next few days, so I'll have some inspiration to work with.
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Why not some baked goods to go with the wine?
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She actually popped her head in yesterday to remind us she's not dead. Good to hear, since I have future story ideas that involve trolls and such and would like some resource.

I forget, did we say where it was made? Because most areas just aren't suitable for growing cocoa. The Felim Jungles would be prime land for that though, so that would probably be the main supplier. Yay, yet another luxury product that TeeGee produces from imported raw materials and exports!
Don't forget Coffee. I think it's grown in similar environments, and unless we've decided to create a massive greenhouse somewhere it's going to be a really expensive item for us. The coffeeshops we have probably make every noble and scholar in all the kingdoms jealous.

Also, no offense to you guys, you've entertained me since thread 1, but Silver is my favorite.
I think Silver is everyone's favorite, so none taken
I would really like to know if soda is possible as well. Can't be Coke but any carbonated drink is would be nice to hear.
Er, why does its head look like rubber?
No reason it can't be. All we need is some air compression, carbon dioxide, sugar (because it actually tastes better than Fructose anyway), and some kind of flavoring. People like fruits, so let's start with citrus fruits I think.

>purely atau's
I think we have a new brand name!
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I didn't know we had coffee, actually. Tea is quite ubiquitous, but I can see coffee being a Felim drink as well.

Also, Silver isn't my favorite, even though she does write some pretty awesome stuff, but she just can't compete with my real favorite: all of you.

Jim, I need some imput on something if you're still up. Hop into Yankee's Tale.
That comment reminds me of Mr. New Vegas for some reason.

We can get "pure" carbon dioxide from the fermentation process. Instead of letting the gasses escape, we just need to bottle it in something somehow. And compression isn't too hard.

The issue is sugar - I'm not sure if anyone would know how to get it from, well, anything really, aside from just making fruit juices.

We could also make sparkling wines, which were discovered by accident. It's really just tossing in more yeast and fruit juice/sugar into a wine and fermenting it a second time.
Im there
There's a lot of foods we could introduce here. I expect half the nobility of Mirthterrah would die of heart attacks should we introduce southern cooking to their chefs.
...That sounds like a plan.
I'll start with potatoes. Who knows fried chicken?
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Sugar cane is produced and harvested in the Shirelands, along with cotton and pipe weed (tobacco expy, but not quite). Due to the ecosystem around there, though, they have two more growing seasons that involve grains and vegetables. Their production per square food vastly outstrips Mirthterrah.

Actually, the Hobbits already do a good deal of soul food, since they're Appalachia flavored. However, since the predominant grease is Lard (olive oil being more predominant in the southern parts of the country and Free Kingdoms) they shouldn't have THAT much issue with TeeGee Luther Burgers.
Fried chicken requires dipping the chicken in a liquid egg mixture, spices, and then flour, sometimes twice, then frying it with a bit of oil. After that, finish it in an oven. Pretty easy to make, I do it every so often.
There goes that plan. At least we've confirmed sugar cane.

Haven't seen the oven variation. We usually put it in a large bowl with paper towels to drain the grease off them.
Ironically, I decided to reread her old stuff, and discovered that it is almost certain that is the reason she was bound, and may no longer be bound by a geas.
What about cat and crayfish? (and you will pronounce it as "kraw-fish" like proper human beings and not "kray-fish" like yankees and Appalachian hicks). Cause if we're doing proper southern cooking? That means Louisianan style cooking. And that means mudbugs, catfish, alligators if we can get them, shrimp, estuary type food.

Pity the nearest marsh is all fae infested.
We use the term Crawdad where I'm from.

Catfish grow pretty well everywhere in freshwater environments, so all we need is to have them exist. Anyone up for noodling?

Do they even have noodles yet?

Or sandwiches?

Gentlemen, shall we have the first food fair, and introduce the people to the wonderful world of deep fried donuts?

>And bacon, with bacon, and more bacon, wrapped in bacon...
On Fairs: I'm from Oklahoma. A few years ago we had deep fried butter on a stick. Literally. That may have been the most fatty thing at the fair.

On Sandwiches: Those poor people. I shall make them a sourdough 5 cheese grilled cheese sandwich to make up for their loss.

On Bacon: Not. Enough.
Bacon weaves coated in honey based barbecue sauce
and now I must go make a honey ham steak.

Good night folks.
Crawdads and catfish are both fresh water river dwellers. You get those as far north as New England. Of course they're in this universe. They're a Shireland delicacy.

Catfish I'm all for. I mean, it's just a freshwater fish.
Yes, but along with crappie and pike, they're also some of the best fresh water eatin' there is and they're pretty common in streams and rivers. Crawdads I've had, but they were a bit hard to find in any real number in my area(south Georgia) so we usually just had shrimp instead...which gives me an idea.

Looks like I'll be bringing in seafood through the merchant trains for the soul food fair and making some low country boil. I'll just need the seafood, some potatoes, some sausage, and some pepper...which may be troublesome to find, but I'm sure a good substitute can be found.
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She's still out there. Her and the fuckin cat.
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Winter is here, but at least it can be enjoyed while it lasts.
Actually, how IS our spice trade? It can be extremely profitable if we get something good to export.
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I'm not sure. I'd guess that we may have some coming in from the South, but for the most part I assumed we either did without or just imported and redistributed from one of the ports, like Sivid, to the Southeast.

Also, someone's face when we figure out how to grow peppers and reproduce haveneros.
haveneros are for people so uncomfortable with their masculinity they need to prove it by eating super hot food.

Tabasco is the way to go.

Pity Tabasco was produced by something like 200 years of plant breeding and they only produce it on one island in the entire world...
There's worse ones out there, but the only peppers I know about growing are bell and banana peppers, both of which are much more to my liking, especially stuffed bell peppers with some cajun rice and lots of cheese on top of them...and I just lost my train of thought.

Anyway, hot, spiced wine for the holidays...only thing it calls for is red wine, cinnamon, orange, and cloves. I think cloves would be the only annoying one to find since cinnamon comes from the inner bark of some trees, and we're far enough South that citrus shouldn't be too hard to get, either from the Shirelands or from our friends across the badlands.
So then, when shall we archive this, as well as make a new thread?
We should archive soon, and make a new thread about thirty posts down.
That's the other main export of the Felim Jungles and Serrid I imagine. Our spice production is probably woeful though. Instead we produce aluminum, silk, lumber, and maybe some mundane medical technology like penicillin westward to Mirthterrah, Free Kingdoms, and Serrid. All of those are high premium exports and provide TeeGee with a good amount of commerce and trade. To the Dwarven mountains we export livestock and what excess produce we can provide with our rockier soil along with the exports mentioned above. However, they get preferred prices, along with the rest of our military allies, such as the Gnomes, Halflings, Kanin, and Felim.

Am I missing anything with this? Anything else we produce that we can safely export without throwing the continent into war?

Paper, using silk screens and the lumber we make.

Maybe books as well, if we can make paper.

With rockier soil, we can make some really nice-ass wines. Just need grapes and 5+ years of investment.

Folding knives? Like swiss army knives and such. I can't see how things like that could actually result in a continental war.
I recently heard of someone making tissues using sugarcane pulp from when sugar is made. Maybe we could use the pulp to make another kind of paper cheaply.
Wait, what alcohols can we make that they can't?
Only those that involve plants native only to Earth, and we may be able to find all those anyway. The Chronicler brought up Sparkling Wines, so we can probably export those to great delight. I don't drink, but I'm told that Port and Brandy are very tasty.
Thread has been Archived.


Pretty much >>21969882

Some of the more modern beers, spirits, and fortified wines might take us a while to do.

Some because we just don't have the base to do so (lagers are made from specially bred/selected yeast cultures), others either because their method of production are not likely to be known off hand and to be reproduced would require us to come up with whatever idea created them in the first place.

Fun fact, some of the later (16th century plus) alcoholic beverages came about because people needed portable drinking "water." The dutch came up with one spirit because they thought they could boil wine then add water back into it later to make it wine again.

So if there's a big age of exploration, we'll likely see similar alcohols developed due to similar needs.

On a side note, who's up for an annual Soul Foods Fair, complete with a cooking competition that brings cooking channel cooking to this continent?

>I was thinking of having it's beginnings rooted in one DM going, "I WANT FRIED CHICKEN DAMNIT" and everyone remembering that it's awesome.
I'll get the barbecue
I'll get the moose meat, bacon, and mayo. Any request dishes?

What hasn't been deep fried yet?

>Can you deep fry all those things together?

Oh. And does anyone know how to make cheetos/doritos? Figuring that we're from /tg/, someone is going to try to make those at one point or another.
I tried making homemade ones from a thing online, they were, less than stellar.

Just keep the moose and mayo away from my grill.
Just to clarify, but we all agreed that Dwarven women grow beards sometime during adulthood, correct? I just want to make sure, because I'm not sure if Jistin knows.
She shaves duh
Mashed Potatoes

I recommend at least 5 lbs. of potatoes, because with potatoes you go big or go home (plus our house usually has 8 people for dinner).

For every five pounds or so, add a stick of butter, ~1/4-1/3 package cream cheese, 2-3 large spoonfuls of sour cream, a splash of milk.

Peel and chop potatoes (I recommend Golden or Russets, though you can leave the skins on if you decide to use Red Potatoes) into medium sized chunks and put the chunks into cold water (to prevent oxidation of the potatoes). Bring water to a boil while chopping, add 2 shakes of salt to it. When water is boiling, drain and add potatoes to the water. Wait until the potatoes come to a boil again, and let simmer for ~12 minutes, then drain. DO NOT OVERCOOK. If they do, they'll have a mealy texture that no amount of ingredients will overcome. Add the various ingredients (If butter is too cold, slice it up to allow it to melt easily). Take care to only add a splash (Sorry for analog, but it has to be) of milk, as too much will leave it like it's some kind of soup. Begin mashing. When mashed add plenty of pepper and salt. If you're using a pepper grinder, make sure that you get a good visible sprinkling across the entire top of the potatoes.

Remember to repeatedly taste potatoes when you're stirring things in to see what else you need. If it needs something, that something is probably either Sour Cream or salt and pepper.

There is nothing that hasn't been deep fried. As for doritos, follow this link.


It's called a Dwarf Tickler.
I love that video
It kinda describes how Teegee is. "Oh boy dungeons! I hope I find some bitchin' sweet magic AWW I FOUND GOLD AGAIN!"

Similar to the state of TeeGee, the annual Soul Food Fair began with one man voicing his heart’s desire.

The story goes as such: it was lunch break on one inconspicuous day during a rather dull DM Council meeting, and as usual, food was brought to the DMs by one of the kitchen workers. Upon being handed his meal, DM Emerald suddenly stood up, slammed his hands onto the table, and with a look of madness in his eyes, cried out to the others in the room.

“I can’t take this anymore! I’m tired of this stuff! I miss it! I want it! Hamburgers, sandwiches, twinkies, Doritos, tacos, man! I want fatty foods, I want greasy food that will clog my arterties, I want…”

He paused, and with the look of a man experiencing an epiphany, slowly said to the others: “I. Want. Fried. Chicken.”

After several long moments of silence, the Council was in an uproar, with Outrealmers weeping and furiously agreeing with him, and the natives thoroughly confused.

Several days later, TeeGee held the first Soul Food Fair, with DM Emerald winning the cooking competition with fried chicken and a side of French fries.

Today, the late Summer Soul Food Fair is a three-day-long festival of foods, both new and classic, where chefs from all over the world hoping their dishes will win one of the coveted entrée, dessert, finger food, or (for the most daring) monster food award.

>Monster foods are those along the veins of "deep fried bacon wrapped in bacon battered in bacon fried again in lard."
How many times do I have to remind people what we don't have?
at least once more, as always

There we go. Have at it, and expose your waifus to the wonders of grease and fried foods.

I decided to set the first competition winner just so we don't have people with conflicting accounts of who won/came second, third, etc.

>Yes, Sir Emerald did say "BAM" when he dunked his chicken into the fryer.
What don't we have this time. We have potatoes. What the hell is it? Butter we can make or get. Salt we can also make. Same with sour cream.

Well we kind of already had that with the festival in 4 AA and that became a yearly thing but what ever.
I think he is referring the Dwarven women that have facial hair.
Right there are no dwarven women only anvils.

Yeah, but this one's all about FOOD. Just food, and nothing else.

And because we can have more than one festival. I mean, how many festival-esque holidays do we have? Like 7, right? The five listed in the wiki, the one remembering the outcome of the Orc invasion, and Terrasquemas, and maybe one more.

That's seven holidays, with 12 months. Those other months deserve to have holidays.
Terrasquemas... da fuq?

That was one of the early ones. Basically a Terrasque was going to crush us all, and we were freaking out, until one little elven girl goes, "well if he's hungry, why don't we feed him?"

So we make this bigass pile of food, with one guy having the balls to give the Terrasque some awesome apple cider. The Terrasque is all, "you guys are awesome, since nobody's been nice to actually say welcome. So here's a big ass pile of loot."

Then every year we have that celebration where we lay out a bigass pile of food and he comes and leaves presents.

Granted, I'm probably skipping stuff, but IIRC, that was the gist of it.
Ok sorry but I'm pretty sure that one was declared noncanon. I could be wrong though, Lem am I wrong?
I was going on Clover Journal's advice on this, and there's no mention of it on the wiki. And I do believe I wrote the first dwarven Waifu, who certainly doesn't have a beard.

I think the precedent rule takes effect.
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Are potatoes so prevalent in the modern mindset that we have forgotten where they came from?

Unless we brought over some, no potatoes until the not-spanish get them from the not-Incans or, in a fit of convenience, our pockets over flowed with potatoes when we ported in.

That and coconuts, tomatoes, pineapples, rice, toothpaste, I could go on. Isn't naming fantasy alternatives much more fun? I did mention pipe spice instead of tobacco for all the ones who miss their narcotics.

We have turnips. Yes, do we have turnips...

As discussed, Dwarven beard hair is like menopause for their women. Perhaps fashion overrides culture.

I think I blanked that from memory, such as it was. A bit like your dragon piece, in its canon.

You know what? I'm just going to go write, right now. I have put off a new piece for far too long. Jim, send me an email if you need me in the collabs. Bye.
I'm with Jistin on this, aside from Lem talking about it, no one wrote about it. I declare this issue dragon sexed.
all it would take is a single potatoe and somebody cutting it up so there was one eye on each and planting them. Assuming they didn't eat it during the winter of course.
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SO... does this mean you can all introduce your wifus to the joys of corndogs now? Cook, I hope you got a lot of mayo.
And by sheer probability, there's bound to be someone who does. We're all carrying electronics, most of us are carrying knives or other tools, so at least one person was doing a bit of home gardening and decided to check /tg/

Go pay some guys to go on an expedition to find exotic fruit/vegetables? I mean, we're doing it all the time, apparently.

Also, how do we feel about warforged waifus? I was thinking of introducing them with the Scavenger Mouse People that primarily inhabit the ruins of some "super-magitech-advanced-but-now-dead-civilization" whose rise and fall start and end with "a wizard did it."

>Magitech guns would be rare, of course, and the explorers are not likely to get their hands on them, as the Mouse People know that these things are the shit.
Corndogs with compliments are a form of sacrilege. Yes, I know you're a succubus and by nature for sacrilege, but it's the principle of the thing.
Ask knights to keep an eye out for edible plants? Check out food markets when they're near towns?
Shes making a dick joke.
Maybe he likes them blank.
I get the dick joke, but not the blank one.
Also i just realized its time for a new thread, we are at 309 people, abandon ship. I say the new guy makes the thread.
As in you like to suck on ones with an empty load.
also he mistyped condiments, so it's a double entendre ontop of what lilly means.
Were there is that, but we are letting that one slide. Though a good dog is always worthy of praise.
I can't believe I missed that typo.

I say let this one die out, and then when someone has a story to contribute, we let them make it.

>It just seems to be better form to start a thread with content, IMO.
Agreed. Start threads with stories.
Too late, new thread. I'll have something before the end of the night though, but I DO wish to make clear of my opinion on bearded Dwarven women. (I swear, I leave for one hour to pack and you've all gone nuts)

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