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File: 1356845649024.jpg-(47 KB, 450x284, DRINKINGCONTEST.jpg)
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Previous Threads:

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=HoboQuest

Thread Updates at:

@HoboRiftQuest

WELCOME BACK TO HOBOQUEST!

Where the best thing for the OP when he's under the weather is a handle of whiskey and fistful of writefaggotry.

You are LINCOLN BISMUTH, ALCOHOLIC EXTRAORDINAIRE! And you just challenged an entire village of foxmen and foxladies (or should you say FOXY ladies, aw yeah), to a drinking contest. .....You're not really sure why. it just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Not like all of life's problems can't be solved with more-than-copious amounts of alcohol, right?

Last time, you finally got underway on your trip into Riftia, choosing to split the party by sending Johnson and most of the Spec Ops to check out the human kingdoms while you, your SAS bro Fritz, and your current cabal of monstergirls attended to the task of forming alliances amongst the fractured tribal lands of the non-human species. This was all entirely out of the goodness of your own heart, and in no way indicative of any ulterior motives that may or may not have involved building a harem for when you eventually lord over the world at the head of a fleet of Hobo Battle Zeppelins. No sir-eee.
>>
Having decided upon that, you drove your tank (stolen, of course) to visit the village of the inari bandit, Illiana, in hopes of forging alliances. Having "accidentally" scared them all shitless with your dynamic entrance to the Power Rangers theme song, along with being a human in a decidedly discriminatory area, led you to getting a spear chucked at your head. One furious red oni later, who you "subdued" (heheheh), you have decided to befriend the villagers the only way you know how:

By drinking them all under the table.
>>
>I apologize for my delay in posting the new thread, as I was laid low by some sort of sick
>I just drank it into submission, though, so all is well

Furthermore, I found myself....conflicted....on the quality of the last few posts made last thread. But I cannot decide, so I will leave it up to all of you.

Do you wish to rewind to the spear-dodge roll, or continue from where you left off?

[ ] [Rewind]

[ ] [Continue]
>>
>>22292562
Rest assured, all plot will remain consistent regardless.

It makes sense to rewind as well as to not.
>>
[AWAITING COMMAND......]
>>
continue, I have never play this but I am interested!
>>
>>22293478
Oho! The first person to post is a new player!
>>
File: 1356850173245.jpg-(72 KB, 580x435, aae.jpg)
72 KB
>>
Are we drinking Thunderbird or MD 20/20?
>>
>>22293628
We drink EVERYTHING.

See archive for complete details of Lincoln's exploits/ability to piss off anyone getting in the way of what he wants.
>>
Rewind that shit baby! oh YEAH!
>>
>>22293642
Two new trips in the same thread. I'm a bit confused, now.
>>
Current vote count:

Rewind - 1
Continue - 1
>>
>>22293673
Back that shit up!
>>
rewind is cool
>>
>>22293655

bah! If there's anything I've learned in my time of reading the holy hobo manuscript (namely, this thread and others) it's this: Confusion is only a side effect of not having enough booze in your system yet.

All hail the hobo!
>>
A voice sighs, heavy with exasperation.

"Really? Again? Your capacity for screw-ups leaves me astounded."

A few beeps and clicks.

"Now I've got to put even MORE effort into making sure you don't screw this up. Hopefully a correction of this magnitude won't become....commonplace."

A few more clicks, and a quite hum.

"Let's give you another shot at that, shall we? Hopefully you won't do anything TOO dumb, this time."

[======PLEASE STANDBY=====TEMPORAL SHIFT IN PROGRESS======]
>>
You shake your head, blinking to clear the sudden sense of disorientation.

What was that? You can't remember what you were doing......everything was different for a moment.....what was it you were....?

You look down to notice the handle of rum in your hand.

Oh right. Getting plastered.

But as you lift the bottle to your lips to take another hearty swig, you still feel like you're forgetting something.....

Maybe like that big spear headed RIGHT FOR YOUR HEAD OHHOLYFUCK

[roll 1d20 to dodge]
>>
Rolled 19

>>22293877
Holy shit!
>>
>>22294134
What, first person rolls a 19 and none of you bother to roll?

This isn't the nat 1-rolling /tg/ I know.....
>>
Rolled 6

>>22294558
Well if you insist...
>>
Rolled 1

>>22294704
This isn't extreme enough needs more failure.
>>
>>22294764
WOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>22294764
Let me just rerole that for you.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22294885
>>
>>22294891
damn it
>>
Rolled 14

>>22294764
You are why we can't have nice things.
>>
Rolled 16

>>22294899
quick we need to roll a 20
>>
Rolled 18

rollan to dodge.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22294913
Fuck, I suck at rolls.
>>
Rolled 5

>>22294952
we all do
>>
You move to dodge the spear, but are horrified to find it turns to follow you. You don't have time to make another dodge attempt....

Wait, what's it doing? Is it.....dripping? OH JESUS THAT'S NOT A SPEAR AT ALLLMGGNPNNGHHH

You are quickly asphyxiated as the dick-spear rapes your mouth mercilessly.
>>
Rolled 5

You guys are bad at this
>>
Rolled 18

This is the /tg/ dice we all know and love.
>>
Rolled 14

>>22294967
Pretty meh this time.

And it wasn't even actual vore.
>>
Rolled 19

>>22293877
MASTER LOCKPICK our way out of this
>>
Rolled 20

>>22294989
and scare the villagers with the blinding power of MASTER LOCKPICK. No it is a secret technique only shown to a few.
>>
>>22295012
I have redeemed my two 2's and a 1 from last thread. The dice gods are smiling at me again.
>>
>>22294987
Well, if you WANT me to waste more time typing up an ACTUAL HUE post....

besides, I still have a 1 saved from last thread. And I know just the place to use it.
>>
Rolled 11

>>22294972
Oh Yeah?
>>
Rolled 9

>>22295034
DOITDOITDOITDOIT-
>>
>>22295012
well i can rest easy now. Imma go roll around in the snow for a while and hope for some updates when i get back.
>>
>>22295120
Riding in to save the day, eh Pixel?
>>
Rolled 5

i have returned from my Invariable winter wonderland.

rolling for hypothermia save.
>>
>>22295502
fuck
>>
>>22295509
New post incoming in a few minutes. That should help things.
>>
>>22295546
i shall warm myself with thoughts of alcohol and monstergirl lovin' in the mean time
>>
As the spear hurtles through the air on its mission to subject you to an impromptu lobotomy, you do not think. You do not plan. And you most certainly do not drop your bottle.

No, you only rely on the most powerful of your skills.

The MASTER LOCKPICK.

"HOBO SMAAAAAAAAASH!" You roar, side-stepping the spear and whipping your hand up to collide with the side of the spear's shaft. The unfortunate spear splinters in two, each half careening off to embed themselves in the dirt.
>>
The offending spear-thrower takes a few steps back in abject shock. "W-W-WHAT THE FUCK!?" He panics. Clearly, he is not used to being outclassed. Probably a hunter. Unfortunately for him, you hunt a much more dangerous game than he does: LADIES.

"Awwwww, did that not go the way you expected it to? I should be corpse on the ground right now, shouldn't I?" You flash the nervous hunter a slightly unhinged grin, attempting to ignore the pain throbbing in your hand from smashing a fucking spear in half.
>>
"Well, guess what, fuzzy? Seems that didn't work out so well. Do you have ANY idea how many times I've nearly been stabbed, shot, trampled, crushed, blown up, eaten, or just generally annihilated? And half the time, I CREATED the damn danger! So what chance does YOUR ass have of ending me!?"

You leap down from the tank, adjusting your hat on landing to make it extra-badass. You're not sure how, it just is. Hobo Logic is inscrutable even to you, sometimes; you can only follow its guidance.
>>
"S-Stay back, you son of a bitch! Y-you'll not bring your goddamned twisted justice down upon our heads!" The stammering hunter grabs a sword from one of his compatriots, leveling it at you.

You snort. "Really? Are you even listening to me at this point? What the hell is all this justice crap? I only listen to my gut instincts. Mostly they tell me to drink more. Lots more. In any case, I'm not here to hurt any of you."

"LIES!" The fox-dude hisses, four tails standing on end and bristling in rage. "You think we have not heard such tripe before!? You filthy mongrel humans only care about yourselves, and what you can get out of those who aren't of your kind. Whether by trickery or force, it does not matter. How many innocents have had their blood spilled to sate your endless greed!? NOT HERE!" He roars in anger, starting to advance towards you, blade held ready.

Hooooo boy. Talk about a hot-he----no, that's no good... quick-sho---nah, not appropriate for this situation...an overeager Os---now that just sounds stupid---!

.....asshole. You'll just go with "what an asshole."

>How do you deal with him?

[ ] [challenge village to drinking contest in name of friendship]

[ ] [head back to shopping cart train, show him what a REAL weapon looks like]

[ ] [beg for mercy from his mighty blade]

[ ] [sick Zuli on him]

[ ] [soar above him with Moira]

[ ] [get Fritz to shoot him]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]
>>
>>22295674
[x] get Fritz to shoot him
>>
>>22295674
[x] [beg for mercy from his mighty bla- Just kidding. Mock him]
[x] [imbibe liquor]
[x] [head back to tank, show him what a real weapon looks like. all 88 combat ready tons of it]
>>
Rolled 2

>>22295674
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
>[X] [head back to shopping cart train, show him what a REAL weapon looks like]
>[X] [imbibe liquor]
the use weapon from shopping cart to threaten them into
>[X] [challenge village to drinking contest in name of friendship]
>>
>>22295726
i almost forgot
[x] [imbibe more liquor]
>>
[x] imbibe liquor
>>
Vote Count:

Get Fritz to shoot him - 1
Use tank for intimidation - 1
Use gun for intimidation - 1
Drinking contest - 1
Imbibe Liquor - Always
>>
Rolled 7

[ ] imbibe liquor
[ ] activate mini-slime fist of power
[ ] slap a bitch

shows that we both side with the monstergirls and that he's our bitch.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22296032
drinking contest. only way we'll leave is if he can drink us under the table. it is a he right? theyre all kinda fuzzy lookin
>>
>>22296032
>>22296051
Why not all of them?
>>
>>22295674
Drinking contest!
>>
>>22296076
They aren't ACTUAL foxes. They're just foxgirls, and this guy is one of the male ones.

I have yet to come up with a way to say "foxman" without it sound awkward as fuck. Foxboy just screams all sorts of Shota connotations, so that's no good.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22296086
switching my vote from
>>22295736
to
>>22296086
>>
>>22296133
>>22296086
I KNEW it would come to this.

Since this is going to require a rather large post, and my fever is starting to re-emerge, I'm going to get some sleep and type it when I wake up.

To those who are new here, this is standard procedure from the world's schitziest OP. HoboQuest threads last an average of two to three days, unless there's a shitload of posting going on. Leaves more time for drinking, it does.
>>
>>22295674
>[x ] [imbibe liquor]
[x ] [head back to shopping cart train, show him what a REAL weapon looks like]
>>
Rolled 8

Drink everything!
Problem solved
([X] all)
>>
Rolled 1

[X ] [head back to shopping cart train, show him what a REAL weapon looks like
Followed by
[X] Challenge village to drinking contest with REAL WEAPON
>>
>>22296513
REAL WEAPON vore?
>>
Rolled 11

[X] Imbibe liquor
[X] Drinking contest
See. Multitasking.
>>
>>22296526

wouldn't be the first time... that one belongs to the Revolver...

i vote that we best him in combat by appearing behind him and force-feeding him some of our strong liquor, though not the 192. That stuff is reserved for us and our harem...
>>
Rolled 12

>>22297256

also, have a roll for it. nothing to loose with all the ones floating about...
>>
>>22295674
[X] Get a boost from zuli (Read, HONK)
[X] DUAL MINISLIME FEEST OF POWER!
[X] Ground pound
[X] Challenge the rest of them to a drinking contest
>>
>>22297704

GENIUS!!! and the it will have the added bonus of letting Zuli 'think' she got us back for 'subduing' her previously...

changing my vote to this
>>
>>22297799
Technically, that didn't happen. Because we rewound time. On an unrelated note, want me to run MG lab?
>>
>>22297811

Yes. though i would wait for some form of acnowledgement that there are other people here, than just me and you.
Regarding MG Lab, we still need to see if A. adding more Jello makes her younger, and B. can we make more?
>>
>>22297871
im here, lurking and fuckign zeds up in killing floor
>>
Rolled 9

>>22297966
also, rolling, cause why not?
>>
Rolled 10

I'm. Here.
>>
Rolled 13

>>22295674
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>[ ] [head back to shopping cart train, show him what a REAL weapon looks like]
>[ ] [challenge village to drinking contest in name of friendship]
>[ ] [imbibe liquor]
>>
bump to stay alive
>>
AH AH AH STAYING ALIIIIIIVE!
>>
>>22302550

MG Lab while we wait?
>>
Fuck. I slept waaaaaay longer than I meant to. Guess that's being sick for you. Ah, well. At least it means I'll be here all day.

So, looking at the votes, it seems the general consensus is:

[X] [Imbibe chaos]
>>
Rolled 19

I like NotAnon's plan.
Also your schitzy posting works for me and my NZ timezone.
Fuck mornings.
>>
>>22303995
He likes me, he really likes me!
>>
>>22303670
IT IS A GOOD PAIN
>>
>>22303670
Also, Imbibing chaos is heresy HK. We don't want the angry commissar to make an appearance, do we?
>>
>>22304671
>Der Hobo King
>Spawned from the shadow of Papa-N
>Assuming I give a shit about commissars when delicious heresy abounds

Allofmywut.jpg
>>
>>22304760
I completely forgot about that. Carry on good sir. AND HURRY UP WITH THE POST.
>>
>>22304760

If the heresy includes delicious xenos, count me in.

(Sorry for the lack of art, was sort of busy today)
>>
>>22304827
I am of the opinion that drawfags are something writefags earn through the strength of their writing, not something to be demanded or begged for.

Any contributions you make to the thread I take as a compliment.
>>
>>22304855

I should actually be the one to thank you. I haven't been able to draw/write shit for the past three months, and even the quest I tried to start on /tg/ a while ago couldn't break it.

Who knew gun-toting oni girls can be such a good remedy for an artblock?

So I sort of want to keep up the daily-drawing thing, and this thread is a pretty good source of inspiration.
>>
>>22304920
If that's the case, then there's more ideas where those came from.

I'll do my best to keep the story interesting.
>>
Fucking fever. I should have been done with this post by now. Sorry guys, I'll try to hurry it up.
>>
Rolled 11

>>22305453
I'll see if I can give huehuehue some HUE fodder to keep us entertained while we wait...
>>
>>22305481
>implying I need nat 1s...
>>
after helping run a children's Party disco, i thought of something that Lincoln might get the village to do to prove friendliness... THE HOKEY COKEY!!!
>>
>>22305618
Where's Doomrider when you need him.
>>
>>22305506
"All right, folks, who's up for some BOOZE?"

You ask the foxpeople.

Wait, something is wrong.

Your voice sounds... off.

And where are all the foxpeople? And your harem? And your tank?

God damn it, where are your clothes?!

And what is that obnoxious noise?

"HUEHEUHEUHAUEEHUAEHAUAE"

Wait, you're getting some serious deja vu from this...

You look down. You see less than you hoped for.

"Not again...", you sigh as you assume the position.

"Hehehehe, ready for another rou-"

Lycheria says, before she is cut off.

"Wait, what are you doing?"

She asks.

"Getting in position for you. Might as well get this over with sooner rather than later", you respond.

"Or would you prefer another position?"

The BRmarines stop.

"Oh, you're no fun"

Lycheria says. She actually sounds rather serious, and has stopped stroking herself.

"I REPORTIU"

One of her companions agrees.

"Look, are you going to j-j-j-jam it in or not?!"

You respond, surprisingly annoyed.

"Fine, we'll have a go."

Lycheria sighs, and move up behind you.

The somehow familiar thrusting begins, and although it hurts as usual, you don't seem to mind, and don't resist or groan as usual. Lycheria doesn't seem as enthusiastic as usual.

"Look, could you, like... resist, or something?"

"I'm not really in the mood. Could we try something different? You know what, how about we swtich?"
>>
>>22305680
Oh lordy. Such is the adaptable nature of the drunken hobo.
>>
>>22305680
"Wha-? No!"

But you're already off her, and beginning to hold her down. You look down, and notice your manhood is back, but your chest isn't. At least Lycheria's servant of the Emprah is gone.

"Wh-where is my cock? AUghag- ohhh..."

Lycheria's protests are cut off as you do to her what she did to you this whole time. It feels surprisingly good. No wonder she did this so much.

"B-boys? D-don't just stand there- OH! Mmmm... I-I mean d-d-do something!"

But her companions do nothing. Their song has continued, but it sounds... different. More melodious. Higher pitched.

You look up, without stopping your thrusting.

Lycheria's friends are gone. In their place are several beautiful Brazilian women in soccer jerseys, all chanting their HUEHEUEU and shlicking.

You smile and increase your pace.

Lycheria has long stopped resisting, and seems to be enjoying the ride more than you did in her place. The fact that your cock isn't ripping her not-so virgin lips probably has something to do with it.

You finally finish, and come furiously into her.

After a minute or so, you get up from the writhing, moaning mess that is the Sister, and see...
>>
File: 1356914969750.jpg-(94 KB, 400x400, 16086818.jpg)
94 KB
>>22305790
>>
File: 1356915014369.jpg-(171 KB, 322x469, brgibemoni.jpg)
171 KB
>>22305790
>fuck forgot pic

Your own cock is gone. You're finally a full woman again.

Your BR companions shyly approach you, holding something behind their backs.

"Well, show whatever it is you want to show me."

You say, in a lower, yet still feminine voice.

The girls turn around, exposing their bountiful bundas for a second, before turning back and showing you.

Oh my.

It's a large suit of green yellow and, at the boob and bunda plates, blue power armor. It is very ornate and actually quite beuatiful. Just by looking at it, you can see that it would apparantly enlarge your rather modest endowments, on both sides.

But that's not what really caught your attention.

Around the crotch area of the armor, you see an immense and monstruos vaguely cyllindrical object, which you assume is a vibrator, though such a name probably wouldn't do it justice. It is enourmous, studded, ribbed, and even spiked at some points, and the white penetrator has "ORDEM E PROGRESSO" engraved on both sides in obsidian.

Your girls giggle a little at your gawping, then help you into your new armor.

As you put it on, you notice in the corner of your eye that your girls are going down on Lycheria with their own comparatively modest strap-ons.

When you're done, however, even they stop to look at you.

Several of them crowd before you, with demands of GIBE PLS being shouted.

"Hey, wh-what about me?"

Lycheria asks, indignant.

But your girls don't seem to care.

Eventually, you get them to stand in line, and test out your new machine on the first.

The girl screams in pleasure almost immediately, but you do as well. It feels real. No! More than real.

Looks like you're gonna have yourself a nice afternoon, after all...
>>
>>22305955
I suppose even HUE has it's good ends from time to time.....

I'll admit, you got me with that one. Well done.
>>
>>22305955
>meanwhile, in the warp

Slaanesh, looking on to this spectacle, momentarily stops fapping and schilicking, and has the several daemonettes doing the same around her stop as well. Soon, the entirety of Slaanesh's realm stops in its tracks. People stop their eating and fucking and snorting their cocaine. Cultists stop in the middle of their summoning rituals, heedless of any acolytes fighting them. Even Doomrider stops his motorcycle and cocaine.

The daemons and cultists, unaware of what's going on, look on to their master nervously, unsure if the interruption is a good or bad thing.

"Well... that was unexpected."

Slaanesh mutters to itself.

"Ah, fuck it, I'll fap anyway."

And then, as if no stop had occured at all, the eternal debauchery in Slaanesh's realm continues.
>>
>>22306034
Just in time. I just finished the post.
>>
You scratch your nose while the angry fox-dude advances on you, not particularly concerned. Well, you COULD just shoot him.....but that would be rather boring, wouldn't it? No, you've got a better idea. A PERFECT idea. That cannot POSSIBLY go wrong.

"EN GUARDE, FOX FOOL! FACE THE WRATH OF MY HOBO MINIONS OF DOOM!" You clench your mouth closed, and proceed to snot rocket each of your nostril, one after the other.

SPLAT

SPLAT

Two gelatinous blobs, one blue, one translucent clear, splurt out of your nose to hit the ground with a squishy thud. The advancing fox hunter stops in his tracks, staring at the puddles with a look of alarm. His fear only grows as the two puddles bubble and twist to form into the sleepy-looking forms of MiniSlime and MiniBooze. Well, you THINK they're sleepy. Again, creepy staring eyes never change.

"G-G-GET BACK! HIS BRAINS ARE MADE OF TINY SLIMES! H-H-HE'S SOME SORT OF MONSTER!" The hunter waves frantically at the villagers, who backpedal away from you, some of the more panicky ones screaming.

"HEY! Don't insult my daughters like that!"

"D-DAUGHTERS!? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"
>>
You decide to ignore his question in favor of answering it in a more showy manner. You direct your attention towards your adorable companions. That live in your sinuses.

....ADORABLE, YOU SAY!

"Alrighty Minislime, you and your new sister are going to help me do something stupid, okay? These people are unaware of the glory that is the mighty Hobo. We must rectify this."

The two miniature slimes stare at you for a few moments, then spend a few moments staring at each other, before turning back to the fox hunter and striking a........is that a Team Rocket pose? Maybe they ARE absorbing info from your brain....but holy shit, who cares if this is what they get out of it.

"That's my girls! You've earned this, then." You smirk as you flip two bottles of vodka out of your pockets, popping the tops and emptying them over the posing slimegirls.

They instantly deform in favor of chasing the liquid as it splashes across them and the ground, greedily absorbing every drop of the precious ethanol they use as food. Chips off the old block, they are. You'r so proud.
>>
"ZULIIIII!" You shout over your shoulder, and are rewarded by the red oni girl popping up from the tank hatch with a sullen expression on her face.

"What is it NOW, you jackass? ....Oh sweet Glorian, you didn't manage to piss off the locals ALREADY, did you!? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY!?!?" She quickly jumps to what is, you must admit, the most likely conclusion.

"NOTHING, I SWEAR! I didn't do anything this time. He just got angry all on his ooooowwwwn...." You whine in a childishly pouting voice, puffing your cheeks up for added emphasis.

Zuli snorts, her eyes conveying quite clearly the lack of credibility you hold. "I'll believe THAT when I see it. Whaddaya want, anyway?"

"Proposulsion." You grin maliciously as your two miniature slime companions spiral their way up to your arms.

"Propul--what the hell does---!?" She doesn't have time to finish her sentence, but to be fair, she really doesn't need to. Because in the time she was talking, you'd already hurtled your way onto the tank and planted your hands right on her bazongas.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONK!" You shot joyously, enjoying your remaining moments on the ground as Zuli's face goes from "baseline annoyed" to "psychotically enraged" in mere seconds.

THWAM
>>
You hoot as you are thrown skyward by the force of her punch, nerves barely even registering the pain at this point, because c'mon, when has pain ever stopped you from doing ANYTHING. Finding your trajectory headed right for the stupefied group of fox hunters, you flail your legs a bit to get yourself in the proper position.

"MINISLIME FISTS OF POWAH, ACTIVAAAAAAAAAATE!" You roar, your little companions molding themselves into a pair of wicked-looking gelatinous gauntlets. Minibooze even added little bits of fire to her knuckles. FIRE KNUCKLES. Huzzah for mystical foxgirl vomit!

You streak down from the sky like a bolt of drunken lightning, flutter kicking your legs because you don't really know how flying works. You hold your fists in front of you, screaming down to deliver your righteous fist of Hobo Fury upon the.....oh hey, they're moving out of the way. Upon the ground then, you guess.

"HOBO METEORSLIME PUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNCH!!!!!" You scream, impacting the ground at high velocity and exploding dirt everywhere.
>>
>>22306113
>>22306106
>>22306086
Oh my god. Its... Its more beautiful than I could ever imagine.
>>
>>22306074

With his ability to eject minislimes from his body, Lincoln is kinda starting to remind me of Soundwave.

MINISLIME, EJECT. MINIBOOZE, EJECT. SLIMEFIST CONFIGURATION.
>>
As the dust and fumes from the impact clear, you pry your hand from the bottom of the rather-sizable crater you created in the middle of the road. The minislimes, having absorbed most of the damage, are spread all over the bottom of the new pit, but to your relief they are already coalescing back into their individual puddle forms.

"Weee-heh-heh-hellll." You drawl, voice dripping with cockiness as you turn an amused look on the frightened villagers, cracking open a bottle of gin to take a casual swig. "Now that THAT'S over.....what should I do with you, hmmmmm?"

>Time to deal with the villagers

[ ] [intimidate further with modern weaponry]

[ ] [declare village-wide drinking contest]

[ ] [imbibe liquor]

[ ] [other]
>>
>>22306191
DRINKING CONTEST.
>>
>>22306191
Drinking contest. If any villagers protest, intimidate with modern weaponry. Be extremely chummy with all who take part.
>>
>>22306191
obviously drinking contest
>>
>>22306191
[X] [declare village-wide drinking contest]

If I've learned one thing, it's that people loosen up when drunk.
>>
>>22306183
Transformers are Lincoln's go-to Halloween costumes. It's not like he's short of cardboard boxes.
>>
Hopefully these fox people aren't as liquor tolerant as Zuli. And hopefully we don't have to go up against her again either.
>>
so does someone have this entire quest archived somewhere? because i'd love to indulge in this delicious monster girl action all the way from the beginning?
>>
>>22306615
It's on suptg, and to my knowledge no one has complied together in other formats.
>>
>>22306191

we shall hold THE GREATEST DRINKING CONTEST IN THE WHOLE OF RIFTIA!!!

also, we need to make more mini's. so far we have Acid and Fire. we need Ice and one other element of which i can't quite figure out yet, so that we can have Mini-slime KICK of POWAH along with other move combinations. Also, we need to gain the ability to ALPHA STRIKE!
nothing says hello quite like all the missiles...

>>22306636
i could try making a kind of Story Book of the quest... not sure how well it would work, but it will allow people to read the stuff that happens. though if i did, i would have to have one for the continuum, and one for the various HUE's and the undo...
would like feedback before i commit...
>>
YOU are WASHINGTON BISMUTH, MAD SCIENTIST EXTRAORDINAIRE, older brother to Lincoln, AND PRONE TO TALKING IN CAPS. Previously, you created a raspberry vodka slime daughter, AND OH FUCKING SHIT SHE GOT OLD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. Rushing her back to the lab at the moment, and praying it doesn't start raining
((I believe adding jello was suggested, any particular flavor?))
>>
>>22306786
Cherry flavor master race, of course.
>>
File: 1356918272812.jpg-(50 KB, 512x320, handsome-jack.jpg)
50 KB
>>22306718
>one other element of which i can't quite figure out yet
EXPLOSIVE!
>>
>>22306814
>Cherry flavor master race, of course.
Hmm, raspberry cherry jello shooters, not a bad idea. Any other votes? I'm not doing lime, we are not getting sublimated.
>>
>>22306786

for now, stick with raspberry. do not experiment with adding different flavors on X-01.. I mean Rachel...
that is something to try on X-03. X-02 is to ensure the process is repeatable. possibly also to find the stabilizing agent...
>>
>>22306718
id be forever in your debt if you made a story book, and for the hue stories, add a compendium or something to the end of the book
>>
>>22306874

Very well. Beginning Compilation stage now.
>>
>>22306873
>>22306826
1 for cherry, 1 for rasp.
>>
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249 KB
>>22306888
>someone is going to compile my HUE
>>
>>22306889

One more for cherry.
>>
>>22306948
good enough.
Crashing through the lab doors, you are practically carrying Rachel at this point, and she isn't looking too good. Unless you like GILFS. Which we certainly do not. Frantically you tear apart the room looking for more raspberry gelatin, but it seems you used it all making Rachel, as all you can find is cherry. Eugh.
"Here goes nothing. And Rachel sweetie, remember that daddy will always love you no matter what you taste like."
As you pour in the powder, Rachel actually visibly stabilizes, and regresses maybe a decade in age. That being said, she's still old enough to be your grandma, but its a start. However, you are out of Jello. And money. Hey, amino acids are expensive.
>YOU SAVED RACHEL, NOW WHAT DO?
>>
>>22307021

well, we need to acquire more jello. i'm sure that some small shops have plenty. we will get it now and pay for it once we are rich and famous for Creating the first Slime Girl in the world...
>>
>>22307021

Rob a grocery store for jello and money for more jello.

And a liquor store for booze and money. Hey, it's our daughter's life at stake!
>>
>>22307163
and we cant do it all stealthy and shit... we have to be a real hobo and beat the shit out of anyone for the sake of booze and slime'z
>>
>>22307224

but, we're NOT a hobo in MG Lab quest. we are a SCIENTIST doing SCIENCE!!!
not HOBO doing HAREM!!!

also, 3/17 compiled
>>
>>22307263
then we must reduce anyone in our way to steaming pile of ash for the SAKE OF SCIENCE
>>
>>22307162
>>22307163
TO THE STORE! Pausing only to kiss Rachel on the forehead (Raspberry cherry shooters, really need to remember that) you sprint out. Thankfully you haven't maxed out your credit card yet so you can still buy the essentials, which are booze and jello. Four bags of jello and two of some quality liquor weigh you down the last flight of stairs you climb to get to your apartment. Rachel has stabilized at around 40 years of age, if you're any sort of judge (which you are). Taking a packet of the cherry jello, you evenly distribute it over her body. As the new fruit dessert is absorbed her color changes from a dark red to a lighter one. She actually becomes more transparent, and where her heart should be starts to glow. She opens her, er, eyes? Lets call them eyes. She opens her eyes and stares up at your worried face.
"Hi daddy."
>[ ] Hug slime

>[ ] Weep manly tears

>[X] imbibe liquor.

>[ ] Other
>>
>>22307356
> [X] weep manly tears
> [X] quickly maake more slimes
>>
>>22307356
>imbibe liquor
>hug slime
>imbie liquor
>weep manly tears
>imbibe liquor
>offer liquor to slimedaughter
>imbibe liquor
>>
>>22307413

this, but only if we hug her as well.

but DID IT WORK!? does adding more jello regress her age or just stabilize her?
>>
>>22307494
It regresses her age. Stabilization hasn't happened yet.
>>
>>22307519

... why do i get the feeling that putting her in the fridge for 6 hours will stabilize her?

and now i have the urge to create a custard slime and a whipped cream slime. and together they shall be TRIFLE!!!
>>
File: 1356920552607.jpg-(258 KB, 1280x720, Mustang.jpg)
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You grab your little girl and crush her in a hug. It hasn't even been a day yet, but you know you love this woman with all your mad scientist heart.

"Don't ever scare me like that again, do you hear me?"

"Dad, a-are you crying?"

"Its the damn fire suppressant system, it always acts up."

"But I'm no-"

"FIRE SUPPRESSANT SYSTEM"

"...Okay. But what do we do now?"

"We make more slimegirls of course!"

"Brilliant, how do we do that."

"Lemme think."

>GIVE ME A SLIME RECIPE AND ROLL FOR SCIENCE!
>>
>>22307658
> liquor
>jello
> ???
>profit
>>
>>22307658
dice+1d20
>>
Rolled 2

>>22307658

based on my previous comment, i would suggest Custard powder, Amino Acids and Liquor. if we don't have any Amino Acids left, we can just use filter out the red and white blood cells and platelets from our blood and use the remaining Plasma/nutrient mix instead.
>>
>>22307724
goes in your email field, sweetie.
>>
>>22307481
>This
>But with more liquor
>And if daughter refuses alcohol which she won't forcefeed it to her.
>>
Rolled 7

>>22307658
But...not enough liquor!

Amino acids, whiskey, and...mmm, well, I want to try a lemon custard, but I don't know if it has to have a powder component...Yeah, lemon custard.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22307658

-Liquor
-Chocolate pudding
-A sample of our blood
-Amino acids
-expose to electricity to catalyze reaction
>>
Rolled 14

>>22307755
newfag here
>>
>>22307831

we were all newfags once. the only way to get beyond that is to ask, learn and try. only then will you become something more...
>>
Rolled 3

>>22307831
No recipe, anon?!!? What will we make out of nothingness!?!

Chocolate pudding, champagne, and amino acids.
>>
>>22307861

he already suggested one. see >>22307689

which would be to test the SCIENCE!!! that made Rachel.
>>
Fuck it, I got enough votes.
"I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA."

"Whats that sir?"

"Lemon custard."

You dash for your refrigerator and pull out the remaining custard filling you had made to impress a potential date who never showed up. You pour it into the metal bowl you normally use and dig out your amino acids. Mixing them wildly you pause to taste your concoction, and finding it wanting in the liquor department so you pour in some of the Skyy you just bought. Your wonderful daughter already has the electricity set up for you (they grow up so fast), so you set the bowl in its proper position.

"Mdear, would you care to do the honors?"

Truly her father's daughter, Rachel does a curtsy with her lab coat before throwing the juice switch. Electricity rips through the soup and forces LIFE into lemony mixture. It starts to glow. And then divides. and divides again. and again. When the glowing spheres finally stop dividing, you are left with approximately 24. And you have no idea what to do with them.

>MYSTERIOUS THINGS, WHAT DO?
((Choco pudding can be next, because MOAR SLIMEGIRLS))
>>
>>22307927
no crazy scientist cackle into the night as the room flashes wildly with energy?
>>
>>22307927

Juggle them
>>
>>22307973
Nope. Thats reserved for thunderstorms and monster creation. DON'T YOU DARE SUGGEST OUR DAUGHTER IS A MONSTER.
>>
>>22307998
*cough* *looks down in embarrassment*
>>
>>22307927

well, they ALL need to be incubated, ask Rachel if she would like to assist in incubating her potential sisters. the usual method should prove suitable...
>>
I go have dinner and I come back to puddinggirls. You people are the greatest.

>>22307858
>>22307831
Based on the amount of time spent here, you could call ME a newfag, as far as /tg/ goes. I stumbled in here on accident one day. Before that, I had no idea such a bastion of nerdity existed. I am quite glad I found this place.

>>22306718
Who said the undo isn't part of the continuum? Heheheheheheh.
>>
>>22308022
>the name of the quest is MonsterGirl Lab Quest
>>
>>22308043
MONSTERGIRL IS A TERM OF AFFECTION
SO SAYETH DER HOBO KING
>>
>>22308047

UPDATES ARE A SIGN OF PROGRESS
SO SAYETH DER FACELESS RAIDER

i still have a sketch of you being poked with a stick, causing your booze to be spilt... do not force my hand...

>>22307831 this is how i show HK my affection
>>
>>22308151
well ive seen your earlier sketches... try to lurk here every day
>>
>>22308047
WELL DUH, I WAS JUST TEASING HIM.
>>22307980
>>22308034
You are seized by the compulsion to juggle the spheres. They are the perfect size...
[SEVERAL FALSE STARTS LATER]
You have successfully managed to get the egg things in the air, and are juggling them. They're still glowing, and seem to glow brighter when you get them near their sister. Ah well, time to incubate these puppies. As before you shove one down your pants, and pour alcohol down. It doesn't seem to do much this time though. Maybe these just take longer.

"Hey Rach, wanna help me hatch these eggs?"

"Sure, just keep them warm right?"

But as soon as Rachel touches the glowing thing, it's absorbed! It travels to the glowing spot in her chest cavity! Her eyes roll back in her head, (kind of, its hard to tell), and the glow starts for lack of a better term, beating. Thats certainly new. Meanwhile the egg in your pants has started to grow finally. It's certainly growing more slowly than rachel did, but thats probably a good thing, all things considered.

WHAT IS YOUR NEXT ACTION?
>[ ] Go to sleep, its been a long day

>[ ] theorize on other monster girls

>[ ]Play games with Rachel

>[ ] Other

>YOU HAVE ACQUIRED A SLIME CORE FOR RACHEL.
>WHY? BECAUSE FUCK YOU THATS WHY.
>WHAT DOES IT DO?
>THIS CORE SHOULD ALLOW HER TO DRINK NORMALLY, AND TECHNICALLY ALLOW HER TO BECOME INTOXICATED.
>ALSO, STABILITY.
>>
>>22308040

Same here. I was reading something that I got to from another site, and started browsing /tg/ out of curiosity.

Then I noticed the 4chan logo at the top of the board. By then it was too late.
>>
>>22308183
>play games with rachel
>imbibe liquor with rachel
>>
>>22308183

give Rachel another one. get Rachel and ourselves ready for bed, play a few games with her, then it is time for bed. after all, the early scientist gets the SCIENCE!!!
>>
>>22308272
>>22308262
What game? And don't ask me what you have, if it gets enough votes you have it.
>>
>>22308352
well we could play "what happens when we add this to this" and see where that develops (hopeully magical 192 proof or explosions)
>>
>>22308352

BlackJack


>>22308040
and i assumed it was not part of the continuum as it cannot be ACTIVELY referenced. only passively.
>>
I'm debating on what part would be good to have you suspend it again......for the sake of the next post.
>>
>>22308393
You are aware we have liquor, jello, some food in the fridge, and amino acids. None of those make booze.
>>22308473
Whenever is good.
>>
>>22308485
With enough booze you can make yourself God, when you make yourself God you can make booze. Do this, and become...THE HOBO GOD.
>>
come on guise, i need moar story before the night is young!
>>
>>22308957
We are Washington, we have a house which doubles as our lab, mounting credit card debt, and a younger brother somewhere out in the city. Wherever those explosions are happening.
>>22308975
Well pick a game. The only games that have been picked are black jack and combine the items.
>>
File: 1356924762635.gif-(1.96 MB, 320x240, phone.gif)
1.96 MB
>>22309017
we play rob the nearby science store and make robots
or
we go rob a liquor store
or
we juggle moar limes :D
>>
>>22309072
We do not currently have limes. Would you like to acquire limes?
>>
>>22309017
...Wait, why did you tell me that? I'm suggesting we become God through liquor induced powers.


>>22308957
here, btw.
>>
>>22308473
>>22308485

How about ending the Sub-quest when we finally go to bed...
>>
>>22309118
Looking at the clock, you notice the time.
"alright kiddo, you know my saying. Especially since you probed my brain."

"Yeah yeah, early scientist gets the monstergirl. Where do I sleep though?"

"I'll take the couch until we can get you a proper bed."

"Thank you daddy, I love you!"

As she says her goodnights, Rachel gives you a kiss on the cheek. Its surprisingly warm. With dreams of monstergirl daughters in your future, you smile as you convert your lab coat to a makeshift cover and lie down on the couch to sleep.
>Will continue this later, I want to get back to HRQ.
>>
>>22309238
Would you mind if I ask what HRQ is?
>>
>>22309251
lel
>>
>>22309251
Hobo Rift Quest
>>
>>22309295
I HAVE AN OFFICIAL ABBREVIATION? THAT'S SO COOL.
>>
>>22309342
PRETTY FUCKING AWESOME IF YOU ASK ME.
>>
>>22309356
FUCK YEA
>>
>>22309373
>>22309356
>>22309342
WHY ARE WE SHOUTING? WAS HOBO KING SO EXCITING THAT IT WAS CONTAGIOUS?

On that note, update whennnn!!! Nah just kidding, ran outta beer so I'll be back in roughly forty minutes.
>>
>>22309417
FUCK YEAR
>>
>>22309373

HELL YES!!!!

why are we doing this again?

oh, update on HRQ.

on a different note, 8/17 compiled
>>
UPDATE REAL SOON, THE FISTFUL OF PAINKILLERS ARE STARTING TO WORK.

>>22309417
LET US KNOW WHAT BEER YOU'RE DRINKING, I CAN ALWAYS USE NEW RECOMMENDATIONS.
>>
>>22309480
UNFORTUNATELY, AS MY LOCAL STORE SELLS SHIT FOR BEER, I CAN ONLY PURCHASE CORONA LIGHT AND CORONA EXTRA.

HARD TO CARE WHEN YOU'RE DRINKING FOR ALCOHOL OVER TASTE, THOUGH.
>>
>>22309448
fuck yes thank you
>>
>>22309480
DEAR GOD, ITS FINALLY COMING!
>no but seriously, take your time.
>>
"Mmmmmmmmm."

"................."

"Eheheheheh.......pudding......"

"L-L-Lincoln?" Moira's hesitant voice rings out from behind you. You don't really notice.

"Heeeeeheeheeheeheeheehee........."

"L-Lincoln.....y-you're drooling.....and crying.....a-a-are you alright?" She taps you gently on the shoulder.

You jump at the touch of her wingclaw, looking wildly around at your surroundings and the villagers, who are now staring at you with confused looks on their face. you chuckle nervously as you straighten your tie.

"Ahahaha....haha.......YES! Fine. JUST FINE! Was just....thinking. About pudding. And....stuff. No problems here! Now, where was I....? Moira, where was I?" You turn to smile blankly at the batgirl.

"E-Erm....I don't know, Lincoln....you don't really....make....sense....." She trails off nervously, as if saying that will upset you. Why would that upset you? It's the truth.

"Well, whatever. I'm sure it wasn't that important anyway. I'll just drink like I usually----DRINKING! THAAAT was it! Ohoho." You rub your hands eagerly as you turn toward the crowd, who noticeable lean back at your refocused attention.

"Ladies and gentlefoxes? Seeing as YOU want me to go and I want to stay, I propose....a game."

The loudmouthed hunter foxman's face darkens with anger again. "A....game? A game, you sick fuck!? Is that what you're going to do!? Make us play for our----"
>>
"SHADDAP, JACKASS, I WASN'T FINISHED TALKING!" You yell at him, minislimes reforming on your shoulders to stare with you. "If I wanted you dead, you'd BE dead. I wouldn't even have to use a weapon, I'd just run you over with the tank back there." You jerk a thumb towards the several-dozen ton vehicle looming behind you.

"No, I'm proposing a friendly game to get acquainted. My side versus yours. If you win, I'll leave you alone, no questions asked! If my side wins, you guys have to stop freaking out every time I sneeze. Deal?"

".....and what, exactly, is this game?" The lead hunter growls, extremely wary. You merely grin, lobbing a bottle underhanded to him, which he catches deftly. He stares at the label with confusion.

"A drinking contest, of course! THERE IS NO BETTER COMPETITION." You declare with your usual unwarranted confidence.

Another of the hunters pipes up. "Uhhhh.......no offense, but....you've got a red oni on your side. That's not exactly fair."

"HEY, BUB, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH----"

"No worries! She'll sit this one out. Hell, they'll ALL sit this one out! I'll face all of you alone." You cut the red oni off mid-sentence. Not your best decision, as it turns out.

"--WHAAAAAAAT!?" Zuli screams at you, even more irate than the original complaint made her. She throws herself out of the tank, landing heavily on the ground and striding up to you to grab you by the collar. You gulp as you are hoisted off the ground.
>>
"You look as lovely as ever, my dear Zuli." you laugh nervously, gulping at the look in her eyes.

"D-D-DON'T YOU TRY TO SWEET TALK ME! Exactly WHAT, makes you THINK, you have the right to speak for ME? And to keep me out of a drinking competition, of all things!"

"Zuli, please! This is so they trust me! If YOU participate, our victory is certain, first off."

She blushes at this, laughing to try to cover it. "H-Heh, f-finally bothering to admit my skill?"

"Your skill was never in doubt, my sweet." You slyly slide the compliment in, earning an eep and at least three shades up on the red palette of her face. "But you're TOO good. They'll never accept my victory as legitimate if you just thrash them all."

She thinks for a moment before nodding slowly. "I....guess that's true. But what makes you think YOU can win all by yourself!? What if you lose!?"

You are silent for a long moment, staring at her blankly, before you begin to laugh hysterically.

"BE SERIOUS!"

"Heeheeheeheehee.....I can't.......Honestly, Zuli, do you not even remember what I did to Illiana and her merry little band?" You grin at her, mischief shining full-force in your eyes.

"Well, yes----b-but those were only FOUR foxes! This is an ENTIRE VILLAGE!"

"Oh, ye of little faith." you smirk, gently guiding her hand to put you down. She release you reluctantly, upon which you straighten your tie and whirl about to face the villagers.
>>
"So? Me against all of you. I'll provide all the liquor; I've got tons of exotic stuff for ya. Whaddaya say?" You flash them a slick grin.

The hunter hesitates for a few moments before nodding his head. "We....accept." His eyes grow frigid. "But when we win, you shall never set foot in our village again!"

"IF. You win." You correct him, insanity filling every inch of your facial expression.

[roll 1d20 for HOBO DRINKING CONTEST]
>>
Rolled 9

>>22309804
AW HELL YEAH
>>
Rolled 18

>>22309804
LETS GET THIS OKTOBERFEST ON
>>
Rolled 20

>>22309821
Alright, not the best roll, but I'll roll twice more to make up for that. And only twice.
>>
Rolled 10

>>22309804

They shall taste the bitterness of defeat, adding to the deliciousness of the booze!
>>
Rolled 7

>>22309861
lel no need to
>>
>>22309861
... Well fuck. LETS GET THIS SHIT STARTED. Also, is blues acceptable music to listen to for this thread?
>>
>>22309861
Also, so sorry HK.
>>
Rolled 100

>>22309804
Helping
>>
Rolled 18

>>22309870
i believe so... i need to increase my repertoire of jazz so plz contriboot
>>
>>22309861
>>22309884
........Wow.

Foxgirls have REALLY bad luck against Lincoln, don't they?
>>
>>22309881
Why are you apologizing? I told you. I know juuuuuust the place for a 1. Have patience. You'll see.
>>
Rolled 11

>>22309884
Oops
>>
>>22309861

As I have recently compiled the earlier threads, I assume that HK disregards 1 s and 20s as crits for drinking contests... unless that was just for the zuli one...
>>
>>22309896
I'm just surprised we didn't roll a one before this. so HK could have the booze vore us.
>>22309916
I rolled a nat 20. For drinking
>>
>>22309932
if you remember, we had a couple of unassigned ones earlier...
>>
>>22309968
Well apparently, HK has the perfect crit fail waiting for us.
>>
Rolled 12

>>22309972
lel man... its almost worth rolling a 1 just for storyline
>>
>>22309998
almost. I love this quest, crit fails are something to look forward to.
>>
>>22310022
yup
>>
where are you hk?
>>
>>22310455
Nearly done, give me a few more minutes.
>>
>>22310468
WE MISS YOU HK.
>>
>>22310468
kk
>>
Once again, the idea of an image depicting HK's liquor being taken from him, motivated another update.

oh, Compile it as 11/17
>>
>>22310594
I fear no image. Post what you will, ye bastard. I shall take it on the chin.
>>
>>22310594
f n a cotton
>>
---45 MINUTES LATER---

You giggle as you lean back in your village-provided chair, dangling a half-full bottle of whiskey from your fingers before snapping it up into your palm and taking another sip. You survey the carnage before you with your legs propped up on a nearby table, feeling a dark sense of pride at the mayhem you have wrought.

"Lesse (hic)......57 unconscious fox-dudes, 73 (hic) unconscious foxgirls, 23 unconscious fox (hic)-children---why were they drinking anyway?---Oh well. (Hic). Yeeeeeep. My job is done here." You giggle through your hiccups, wishing you had a camera to document your glorious conquest in the name of the booze gods.

"You.....you just.....goddamn it, Lincoln." Zuli sighs, hanging her head as she shakes it slowly. "Is there ANYTHING that doesn't break when you touch it?"

"Of course. Ladies." You smirk, swigging down the rest of your bottle as you waggle your eyebrows at her. She merely hmmphs and turns away. But you know she'll succumb eventually. Now that she knows Moira got a taste, there's no WAY she'll pass up the opportunity to ride the Hobo Train of Love. Awwwww yeah.
>>
Your train of thought derails though, when you hear a voice behind you.

"Lincoln? Why is the entirety of my village unconscious?"

You turn around to see Illiana glowering at you disapprovingly.

You calmly take another bottle out of your coat and open it, slurping down a few mouthfuls before answering her. "Well, y'see, they weren't being very polite, so there was a drinking contest, and well........to make a long story short, I won by a mile."

"I.....can see that." Illiana groans, face in her hand as she surveys the damage. "I'll deal with this later.....for now...." Her face grows stone-cold serious. "...the matriarch would like to speak to you."

"Is she hot?"

"SHE'S MY MOTHER, LINCOLN!" The inari shrieks indignantly.

"And....?"

"YOU---YOU---Aaaaaagh, I should be learning faster than this. Just...come with me. Please?" She pleads with you, though by the look on her face she is desperately attempting to suppress mental images of you banging her mother. It doesn't look like it's working. Good.

"Well, lead on, foxy lady." You kick yourself up from your chair, stretching your arm back as you follow the foxgirl bandit down the street.

After a few minutes of walking, you find yourself at the entrance of a hut, a bit larger than the rest of the domiciles that make up the village. Illiana bows respectfully at the entrance.
>>
"Mother. I have brought the man who has promised us an agreement."

"Bring him in." A calm, mature voice drifts out of the inside, Illiana quickly motioning for you to comply. You step cautiously inside the hut.....

........and find yourself looking at the fluffiest nine tails you've ever seen in your life. They're HUGE! And they look so soooooooffffft......

Attached to the tails of magnificence is what appears to be an older version of Illian, though you couldn't guess at her actual age. She looks rather young, though. Also, boobs.

She wears what appears to be ceremonial clothing, or of some traditional significance or something complicated like that that you don't really understand. Some sort of small tribal markings adorn her face. She stares at you with a look of calm confidence.

"So you are the one who my daughters have told me of...." She softly states, and you fidget at her gaze. This IS their mom, after all. It'd be nice to have her approval; kidnapping for the harem should be kept to a minimum.

She turns her gaze on her daughter, before her calm smile turns mischievous. "You didn't tell me he looked so delicious, Illiana."

"M-M-M-MOTHER!!!" Illiana shrieks indignantly.

.....Hooooooo boy. Tread lightly here, Lincoln.

>What Do?
>NO FREE ANSWERS HERE
>>
>>22311021
welp guise, we can always add more to the harem ;D... also night cya guise tommorow
>>
>>22311021

"Salutations Queen of the Fluffy Tails, Mother of the Great Cartographer Faye, and Illiana. I have come to this world to right the injustice of inequality. I WILL unite all the people of this world, Through the power of LOVE!!! and TANKS, but mostly LOVE!!!


>>22311098
have pleasant Monster Girl filled dreams anon...
>>
Rolled 2

>>22311021
"I could say the same of you."

MAXIMUM FOXGIRL FLUSTERING.
>>
>>22311151
minimum foxgirl flustering...
>>
>>22311148
I like your style. Don't forget to drink though. gotta keep the hobo swag on MAX
>>
Rolled 2

Must be the booze. Want some?
>>
Explain that we come in peace from another realm which has recently gained access to theirs. We represent the government of the most powerful nation of pur home realm, and wish to establish peaceful relations with non-humans, as all attempts to interact with human groups so far have ended in failure.

We offered our protection of this village in exchange for her daughter's help in our endeavors. More troops are coming soon.

Also give her flirtuous remarks or something. I'm not very good with dialogue, sorry.
>>
>>22311021
Tell her about our alcohol filling.
>>
>>22311810
Considering the whole "from another universe" thing, are we even the same human they have in that universe?

Maybe the appearances are deceiving and a doctor would be really confused when he popped one of the other universes' "humans" open?

or, you know, not. but that's boring.
>>
>>22311021
WOW.....

welp, as in any case, we just have to ask ourselves, what would lincoln bizmuth do?

IMBIBE LIQOUR of course!

Then...grin like an idiot, put some smoooooooth moves on the hot foxy nine-tailed momma, and talk over a couple of drinks. Also, find out why the hell she didn't participate in the drinking contest. and how the hell did she get those tails so fluffy and why aren't Illiana's tails like that
>>
File: 1356933624972.jpg-(13 KB, 203x248, image.jpg)
13 KB
Rolled 10

>>22311021
>>22311021
>>
Guys what if she's talking in a literal sense?
>>
Rolled 13

>>22311928
This.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22311021
>"I come from a land down under, where beer does flow and men chunder. Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover!"
>FIRE ZEE CANNON!
>>
>>22311021
May I please brush your tails?
>>
Rolled 17

>>22311021
And I must say you look positively strokeable. Just to check that is a metaphorical deliciousness and not and actual one right? I dislike getting eaten unless you just want a sip. But I'm like 90% on the blood alchohol scale so if you drink like your daughters you should be careful. Also could I rub your tales?
>>
>>22311948
nah, can't be, she's going for the hobo hotness.... aw yeeeeah.

Until she starts putting on a BBQ sauce bib and holding sharp pointy things in our general direction, i'd say go with the flow.... of ALCOHOL!
>>
File: 1356933835895.jpg-(34 KB, 704x396, BWAHAHA.jpg)
34 KB
>>22311991
>>22311981
>>22311948
>>
>>22312008
Now I wonder how fox-girl-mom would taste.

and how to cook one.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22312082
>not eating her raw
>>
"Yes......truly delicious." Her eyes switch to casual malevolence in an instant as her tails whip towards you. Suddenly those tails, which were so attractive before, have never looked more terrifying.

"WHAT THE MMMMFFGH!!?!?" You start to scream out, but the inari matriarch's tails quickly render you mute and immobile. You turn your panicked gaze on Illiana, who is standing to the side with a guilty look on her face.

"I'm......sorry, Lincoln. It's just my mother....she needs to eat...." Your attempts to struggle grow more frantic at this statement, but the tails may as well be steel; you can't budge them.

"I have such a good daughter, don't I?" Illiana's mother chuckles, slowly drawing you towards her until you are positioned right above the mass of her tails. "Now.....Bon Appetit!"

You scream into the muffling fur as the inari's tails part, revealing a gaping maw full of tentacles, writing and wiggling as they wait to embrace you. Again, you try to free yourself, but your frantic thrashing is in vain. You jerk as you are slide into the throbbing orifice's grasp, the tentacles coiling around you and dragging you further into their clutches even as your clothes to dissolve.
>>
"Oh my....such a strong flavor." You hear the matriarch giggle lightly, even as the fleshy chamber closes over your head, completely enveloping you in its sticky hold. Your clothes long gone, you gasp and shudder as the tentacles wrap and curl around you, stimulating you against your will. Despite yourself, you can't fight the waves of pleasure that crash against your brain, and you send spurts of your Hobo Essence into the mass of tentacles with a whimper. They greedily suck up your offering, only to immediately begin stroking you more.

An hour later, you can no longer scream or struggle, having been milked completely dry. This, in a way, is merciful, as it makes the acidic fluids that drip over your body feel all the more merciful as they quietly break you down to be digested. You spasm with one last orgasm even as your organs fail in their integrity, your flesh dripping to pieces as you accept the merciful embrace of oblivion.

The foxgirl matriarch burps quietly, her distended stomach rapidly shrinking back to its usual slim appearance. "Ahhhhhh....." She sighs contentedly, patting her stomach. "That was a good one. Very tasty. Heehee."

Illiana sighs depressingly. "Moooommmm.....you have GOT to stop doing this to every boy I bring home......"
>>
>>22311021
SOONG NUMBER TYME
marry your daughter- mcknight

Mam, I'm a bit nervous
About being here today
Still not real sure what I'm going to say
So bare with me please
If I take up too much of your time.
See in this box is a ring for your oldest.
She's my everything and all that I know is
It would be such a relief if I knew that we were on the same side
Cause very soon I'm hoping that I...

Can marry your daughter
And make her my wife
I want her to be the only girl that I love for the rest of my life
And give her the best of me 'til the day that I die, yeah
I'm gonna marry your princess
And make her my queen
She'll be the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen
I can't wait to smile
When she walks down the aisle


too lazy to edit some lyrics but use that song. if illiana won't go red on that one i don't know what will.
(also extend offer to her if she is single and her other daughter)
>>
>>22312193
>>22312164
>I TOLD YOU IT WAS COMING, MOTHERFUCKERS
>I TOLD YOU
>"DELICIOUS"? COME ON, THAT'S LIKE A TRIGGER WORD AT THIS POINT
>>
>>22312221

HK, don't spoil the magic. we are the HOBO OF PEACE, LOVE AND WEAPONS OF WAR!!! we will not try to kill anything that uses the word 'delicious'

EVEN IF there is a sign saying 'Delicious Alcohol'

project update: 15/17 compiled
>>
>>22312418
Seriously, though? I had her call you delicious, and you didn't see the vore coming? You should all know me better than that by now.
>>
>>22312221

so... they have TENTACLE blood in them?

SOME 1 SCRY FOR THAT FOOTAGE
>>
>>22312475
We saw it coming. It's just that some of us were in denial. The rest of us are largely inoculated to it.
>>
>>22312560
Well....that's just no fun at all. I'll have to try harder.
>>
>>22312475
All this talk of eating has me strangely hungry...
>>
>>22312560

not forgetting those of us who look forward to it.

HK, by the time you have finished your quest, i shall make a fortune from sales of the book that i will write based on this....
>>
>>22312584
You know with how much alcohol we have on us, both in our pockets and on our clothes, we could probably set ourselves on fire and take out any would be predator.

It's like our natural defense mechanism.
>>
>>22312706
You're not counting the booze in the shopping trolleys.... or the tank, or the harem girls, or the mini-slimes that have ingested knowledge from our own brain.

woe betide the predator that attack us
>>
File: 1356936023608.jpg-(23 KB, 246x138, keikakumeansplan.jpg)
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>>22312584
>I'll have to try harder.
>>
Good news and bad news...

the good news is that i have finished compiling all HRQ threads thus far. the bad news is that the HUE alone is enough to break google and/or my internet.

i shall upload it upon my return. Have a pleasant evening all.
>>
>>22313264
If you make it a pdf, you can just upload it onto /tg/ directly.
>>
>>22313264
Your contributions to the cause are worthy of honor and recognition, Faceless Rider.

We here in Hobo Land salute you.

In other news, the reason I'm taking so long is because I'm trying to compile all the "smooth operator" answers you guys gave me into a coherent response. It's more difficult than it seems. Competition is fierce.
>>
Anyone still here? I've got a massive post I just finished.
>>
Rolled 13

>>22315174
very much still here
>>
>>22315174
Still here.
>>
>>22315195
>>22315199
Welp, that's all I need! I believe you're in for a treat.
>>
To clarify: most posts of mine fall between 3000 and 5000 characters in the 4chan X quick reply box.

This one has over 13000.
>>
Wait, tread lightly? What sort of pansy-ass excuse of a hobo would THAT make you? No, there's only one option here.

HONK HONK! HOBO SWAG TO MAXIMUM, MOTHERFUCKERS!

"One could say the same for yourself, my lady." You smirk, throwing the matriarch a wink as a bonus.

"Ho? Quite the bold one you found, Illiana. Right from the beginning, he's attempting flattery." The matriarch raises an eyebrow. You can tell she's playing her cards close to her chest. Not that it'll help her in the end.

"Flattery, my dear, is for liars and conmen. I speak only of the truth that my eyes behold." You're going to out-eloquence this lady if it kills you.

"Oh? Ohoho.....oh my." The older foxlady raises a hand, lightly chuckling into it as she eyes you. "Your new lover certainly has a way with words, my darling daughter."

"H-H-H-He is NOT MY LOVER!" Illiana protests indignantly, cheeks tinged with red.

"Yet." You tack on to the end of her sentence, shooting her a grin. Illiana responds by startling back from you a few steps, blush growing on her face.
>>
"Ho? What a shame, I was considering taking you for myself if she was unwilling." The matriarch mock-pouts, though you can see the appraising look in her eye. This woman is good. You're going to need to shock her with something she hasn't handled to gain the advantage.

.....Thankfully, you are 100% made of unidentified mystery.

"Oh?" You turn your gaze lazily back to the ever-watching nine-tailed inari. "And what, exactly, makes you think that you're suddenly off the menu? My dear foxy matriarch." Your grin tinges itself with a slight hint of megalomania.

"You are saying you would pursue myself instead of my daughter? But she is much younger than I...." The matriarch's eyes widen a fraction, and her hand unconsciously travels to her chest. She's trying to play it cool, but you're not dumb yourself. The tinge of pink in her cheeks doesn't lie. You found a chink in the armor; time to press the assault.

"Ahaha. Oh dear. You wound me, milady." You crab your chest in mock pain. "Age has nothing to do with eligibility. Why would you insult yourself so?"

"Ho! Now there's a man who knows how to compliment an old lady." The matriarch chuckles slightly despite herself, and you can tell her gaze has turned to interest. She's probably close enough to spring the trap now.
>>
"An old lady? Hardly. You look barely older than your daughter." You gesture at Illiana, who is currently muttering to herself while staring at the floor.

"This isn't happening , this isn't happeniiiing, Lincoln is not flirting with my mootheeeerr....." She sings in a slightly hysterical voice to herself. You'll explain later. For now, you've got a MILF to seduce.

"But milady.....I think you may be.....underestimating....the extent of my ambitions here." Your grin grows as wide as it does evil.

The matriarch, for the first time, looks rattled. She's apparently gotten your insinuation right from the get go. Her eyes narrow. You've gotten her angry, now.

Perfect.

".....Those are dangerous words you speak there, whelp. Are you suggesting both my daughter and I submit to you, then? Are you looking at us as some manner of trophies? Because your insolence will not be tolerated." Her tails start to quicken their waving, and already you can feel the heat in the room rising. Fuck. This woman's a nine-tailed fox; her firepower (quite literally in this case) must be unreal.

However....."nothing ventured, nothing gained." You've got only one shot, but if you can pull this off....

.....Ohhh, the possibilites. Eeeeheheheheheh. Worth it.
>>
"It's funny how you used the singular version of 'daughter'." you remark casually, adjusting your sleeve. Which means you are quite unprepared for when the tips of the matriarch's tails literally burst into flame.

"INSOLENT CUR!" The matriarch snarls, rising to her feet as she glares angrily at you, he peaceful demeanor seeming only a memory at this point. "WHAT MANNER OF INSULT ARE YOU ATTEMPTING!? MY DAUGHTERS ARE NOT PLAYTHINGS, NOR AM I!"

"Playthings? I view you as nothing of the sort." You wave away her claim with a dismissive air. It takes all of your willpower, but you manage not to show even a hint of fear in the face of the matriarch inari's rage. Which is more difficult than it sounds, seeing as the hut now feels like the inside of a furnace.


"Oh? Then in what manner where your comments intended, pray tell? Speak quickly, runt, and waste not my time further." Illiana's mother hisses the words at you, truly pissed off.

"My comments were meant out of love, matriarch. For I have fallen in love with your daughters, and in doing so, have fallen in love with you." You speak the words with profuse sincerity, gesturing to the angry fox woman on the final words.

"....Love!?" The matriarch looks shocked for a moment, before her face returns to rage. "What mockery is this!? A male, a human at that, professing to love more than a single woman? That is just bold-faced infidelity, no matter your perspective."
>>
You sigh dramatically, raising your hands in mock despair before training your smile on the matriarch once more. "Truly, milady? If that is your understanding of love, then I weep for your heart, for it must be hurting."

"Don't insult me, whelp! The fruits of my love stand before you, my daughters, made of my own flesh and blood! What can you claim to have in knowledge of the matters of love!?" The matriarch demands, glaring at you as if to force an answer.

"More than your world has taught you to feel, it seems." You stare at her with pity in your eyes, a fact you know she won't overlook. "I know that love is not a finite resource, to be doled out here and there, to be competed for and fought over, that can only be truly realized when the love of one has been monopolized by another."

The matriarch's gaze has calmed, but is clouded with intense suspicion. "I don't know where you're going with these lofty words, whelp, but I'll allow you to finish before I erase you from this world with cleansing fire. Speak."

You snort derisively, shrugging your shoulders before you reopen your mouth. "Love is infinite, matriarch. The more love you share, the more love you receive. Love need not be limited to between two people, but can be shared amongst any number of people you choose. As long as all are in agreement, I see no harm."
>>
It's the matriarch's turn for a derisive snort, looking at you with callous gaze of scorn. "Preposterous. And what of jealousy then? A woman must be cared for, properly loved and given affection. You think your weak efforts, split between women as they would be, could suffice?"

"First off, where I'm from, women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. I mean, you're doing quite well for yourself, aren't you? And your daughter is rather capable herself, as I saw when I met her." The matriarch opens her mouth to object, but grudgingly closes it again at your compliments. "Secondly, jealousy is an emotion born of other concerns, fear, loneliness, allowing yourself to treat another as something to be owned instead of like another individual. You cannot let it control you, and with effort, it can be crushed beneath your heel. You must talk to your partner, discuss, compromise, and seek to communicate. One cannot make even a single relationship work without doing so."

The matriarch's gaze is still deeply suspicious, but there's a sense of interest in your words, now. She nods at you to continue.

"And lastly....." You pause for dramatic effect before letting another impossibly-wide grin grace your face. "I split myself between women for THEIR sakes, not mine. I can be a bit....too much....for one person, if you catch my meaning."
>>
The matriarch's face contorts in a sardonic smile, eyes full of disdain at your apparent hubris. Oh, if only she knew. "Oho. Is that so? Quite the speech, young one. Such promises, such high and mighty words! But you lack something sorely needed for me to believe you: proof."

Your grin turns predatory. "Oh, but I DO have proof, milady."

"And that would be?"

"Well, your daughter and two other girls have already signed on to the deal."

The matriarch's confident smile crumbles, replaced by a mixture of shock and fury.

"PREPOSTEROUS! MY ILLIANA WOULD NEVER STOOP TO---To---to........." She trails off as her eyes fall on Illiana, who is boring a whole in the floor with her gaze, her face completely bright red.

"....Ill.....Illiana...? D-Don't tell me.....y-y-you would never accept such a....." The matriarch stutters, panic and denial warring in her eyes.

"........He can be very persuasive, mother......" Illiana mumbles, refusing to meet her mother's urgent gaze. The matriarch gapes at Illiana with an expression that's a mixture of shock and horror.....
>>
"Oh yes, I can indeed."

.......which only grows as you casual stride over to Illiana, tip her face towards you, and bring her lips to yours.

Illiana almost immediately moans into the kiss, apparently a lot more sensitive than the other girls, despite her composed demeanor. She weakly pushes against your chest for a moment as if to push you away, but as your start to rub your tongue against her own, the quickly fist in your clothing to pull you closer. You battle with her for dominance for a while before pulling away, leaving the inari gasping and with unfocused eyes, a bit of drool leaking out of her mouth.

You turn back to the matriach, who is staring at you in disbelief....and a slight bit of fear, when she catches the look of the hunt in your eyes. You chuckle darkly, beginning to step towards the speechless older woman.

"You see, matriarch? I'm not lying. One such as I has no NEED to lie." You continue to chuckle as you stalk towards her.

"Y-Y-You.....w-what is your intent!? S-S-Stay b-back!" The matriarch steps backwards, her nine tails holding little sense of security to her in the face of your overpowering libido.

"Ohhhh, I think you know what MY intent is, matriarch." You lick your lips as you approach the intimidated woman. "The REAL question is.....are you finding yourself in my bed now? Or later?"
>>
The matriarch goes red in the face, flustered despite her high status. "Y-You! Then why!? Why would you go to the trouble of making me angry in the first place!?"

"Because, dear matriarch...." And suddenly, your grin turns from predatory to teasing. "You're quite pretty when you're angry."

The matriarch, despite all her years, power, and composure.....blushes like a schoolgirl.

And after a few moments of thinking.....

.......she begins to laugh.

"Aha. Ahahahahaa."

"M-M-Mother.....?" Illiana asks hesitantly.

"AHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The matriarch laughs uproariously, slowly clapping in your direction. She stops with a few deep breaths, before grinning at you with a look of what appears to be respect.

"I don't think anyone's managed to get me that riled up in YEARS. You clever little brat. You planned that whole thing, didn't you?"

"I plead the 21st, milady. And by that, I mean I'm drunk, so I have no idea what you're talking about." You casually sip from a new bottle, smirking at her.
>>
"HA! Only a drunk would be crazy enough to deliberately anger a nine-tailed fox and expect to get out of it without being reduced to cinders. You picked up a good one here, Illiana." She smirks at her daughter, who only continues to look embarrassed.

"I've never ONCE met a human like you. You talk like one of our own, full of trickery and guile. I think I like you, strange visitor. What is your name?"

"Lincoln Bismuth, milady. Alcoholic Hobo Extraordinaire." You bow low, sweeping your hat off your head to accentuate the movement . "And YOU, Matriarch? Queen of the Fluffy Tails, mother to distinguished daughters Faye the Cartographer and Illiana the Composed? What may I call you?"

The nine-tailed inari gives you a friendly smile, before speaking. "Izaya, Lincoln Bismuth. I go by the name Izaya."

"It is an honor, fair maiden Izaya." You throw her another wink, and earn a giggle out of the powerful milf.

"Oh, don't start that again. I might take you seriously this time."

"I find it amusing how you think there's any possibility I'm NOT being serious." You retort, waggling your eyebrows at her.

"Oh my. Is that so?" Izaya half-lids her eyes, staring at you with a bit more than respectful interest this time.

"L-L-LINCOLN! S-STOP TRYING TO SEDUCE MY MOTHER!" Illiana shouts back at you.

"NEVER!" You shout back, earning a laugh from the mother in question.
>>
"Alright, alright. Enough teasing my daughter, Lincoln Bimsuth; Glorian knows she's sensitive." Illiana grumbles in response. "I believe you came here for a reason, yes? An offer? Or was there something you needed to know? After an introduction like that, I'm perfectly willing to chat."

.....BOY, are YOU glad you memorized that book on polyamory you found in a dumpster one day. You'd have been soot without it. Three cheers for dumb luck!

>What do you talk about first?

[ ] [details of the agreement]

[ ] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]

[ ] [ask about her fluffy tails and corresponding power]

[ ] [imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya]

[ ] [other]
>>
Wow.
Hobo swag overload.
>captcha: much nersf
Obviously the swag is too strong for captcha
>>
Rolled 18

[X] imbibe liquor and offer to all present
Then
[X] imbibe more liquor whist explaining agreement
Segue into
[X] tails using more liquor
>>
>>22315322
first off may just say i was screaming HOW THE FUCK DID WE EVEN GOT ILLIANA, the whole time i was reading.
IT WAS SO STUPID, ITS AWESOME!!!

>[x] [imbibe liquor, offer some to Izaya]
[x] [questions about the rest of the non-human lands]
>>
Rolled 13

>>22315550
seeing as only good things come from everyone imbibing more liquor I wholeheartedly agree with this plan
>>
>>22315550
gonna have to go with this one, fluffy tails are always irresistible.
>>
Gonna have to go on a sleep break guys, try to sleep off more of this sick. We'll proceed with chatting with the MILFy matriarch when I get back.
>>
Until then, discuss how best to approach the situation yourselves. Maybe check some of the previous threads for the maps, try to figure out where you want to go. We're close to autosage, though, so if I wake up and the thread is dead, I'll start a new one. Remember to check @HoboRiftQuest for updates.
>>
Rolled 18

See you in some time then, I'll be waiting.
As for directions:
[X] Up, up, down, down, left, right, circle, square, circle, square.
>>
Dat hobo doing work.
>>22315550
Seems the only proper way of working our way around the milf.
>>
>>22315322
I don't even know any more. Imbibe and offer liquor.
>>
Happy new year everyone.
It is currently 12:01 in New Zealand.
Also could someone archive this before it dies please.
>>
>>22316291
bumping to keep thread alive
>>
>>22315550

Lets Do This...

also, THE STORY BOOK IS READY!!!!

Find Lincolns adventures Here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1QmsMoDt0fmOclLoslO4vchn04oTdqmdPdZd_7roTYXU/edit

And the HUEs & UNDOs Here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1yNxtD2LOcLrQpM-c9EGLpNLqHPpf4tT2RbtDU-Xs7oQ/edit

note: you can only access these documents IF you have the link. I don't think the rest of the internet is ready for Lincoln's misadventures in RIFTIA!!! yet...
>>
>>22317635
Brilliant
>>
>>22317635
Thanks for the archives.
>>
>>22317635
Maybe you should list the author of each separate HUE.
>>
Good work faceless.
On a related note I checked suptg and the thread has been archived, so thanks to whoever did that.
>>
I demand more HUE
YOU are WASHINGTON BISMUTH; proud father, mad scientist, alcoholic, and /d/eviant. You have successfully stabilized your slime daughter, she should theoretically live longer than you. You attempted to give custard life last night, but so far, the only thing that has come from these orbs is- OH MY GOD YOU HAVE A MASSIVE BONER, QUASH THAT BEF- No, no thats just the egg in your pants. Wow, that got big. Maybe its a good thing its taken so long for this thing to grow, maybe it'll avoid the problems Rachel had. And speaking of Rachel, is that her cooking bacon in the kitchen? My god, it smells divine!
>WHAT DO?

[ ]Eat breakfast with eggboner in pants

[ ] sing lullabies to egg

[X] Imbibe liquor

[ ] other.
>>
>>22322000
[X] Eat the egg.
>>
>>22322016
Thats a terrible idea.
>>
Well, I'm feeling a bit better. My nose still feels like Hoover Dam, though. I see we're past autosage, though. So I'll refrain from plot posts until the next thread, which I'll post the link for on Twitter, and on here if the thread doesn't die first.

In the meantime, keeping running that MonsterLab, NotAnon. I find it amusing.
>>
>>22322135
Glad to hear you're feeling better, and you find my quest amusing. I'm considering making it an actual quest, but for now I'm content to leave it here.
>>
Rolled 16

[X] drunkenly sing to egg
>>
>>22322211
I second this.
>>
>>22322682
>>22322211
Never let it be said that its too early to get drunk! Fishing in your science coat of +1 science, you pull out a few mini bottles of vodka and pop the tops off to pour them down your throat. That wonderful inebriated feeling climbs from the tips of your toes to permeate your brain. This drunkeness prompts you to sing to the egg, hell, it worked for Rachel.
"SWEEEET CAROLINE. BA BA BUH"

"STOP SINGING DAD"

Fine. But the egg is definitely wriggling now, and its only a matter of time before the custardgirl sticks an arm into your brain. You shudder, that last time wasn't fun. Maybe Rachel can explain this whole data absorption thing.
>Do you wish to ask about brain scans?
>>
>>22322000

Drunkenly sing to egg. Try to feed it bacon.
>>
Rolled 7

I agree.
Try to feed it Bacon.



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