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File: 1356849963868.jpg-(55 KB, 640x360, FateAgain.jpg)
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>BETTER LATE THAN NEVER, I GUESS.

>SORRY GUYS.

I start thinking. "Alright, I told Archer that you were probably at the Church, so he's going to be pissed if he gets there and you're not there."

"Wait, what?" Saber asks, looking at me."Exactly what are you planning?"

"I'm not sure yet, but bare with me." I respond, pulling out my cell phone. I call the church.

"Hello?"

"Kirei? Emiya."

"Shirou. What's happening?"

"If I could get you out of the church, could you heal a sick man enough for transport?"

"... Yes?" He answers hesitantly. "Not sure I can do anything about the shadow creatures though."

"Don't worry, I have you covered." I respond, hanging up the phone. I turn to the trio of Servants. "Alright, this is going to make us move fast. Caster, you can Teleport people?"

"Yes. Generally, I have to be along for the ride to compensate for the change, ensure you don't get stuck in a wall."

"Alright. I need you to swap me and Kirei."

"....What?" Saber asks confused.

"Trust me. Just tell him it's a part of my Grand plan to thwart Avenger." I respond easily. As soon as he's cleared to move, go back to my house and lay low until I can catch up to you." I turn to Rider. "You have a connection with Rin?"

"Of Course." She responds.

"You can feel where she is?"

She hesitates. "In a general sense."

"Get on your mount and get high, see if you can figure out where she is." I respond. "Afterwards, meet me at my house." I point at Caster. "Port me."
>>
>>22293511

I feel a shock of displaced air and stumble against the Alter while Taiga, Ilya, and Sakura all give me a shocked look.

"Onii-chan? How-"

"No time, I have to go lie to the third most terrifying person I've met today." I respond, looking outside and seeing an approaching golden light.

I stand up and walk to the door as it explodes open,l and Archer strides in. He misses a step when he spots me.

[DC16 Blather Check]
>>
Rolled 19

>>22293517
BLATHER ENGAGE
>>
>>22293511

>bare with me

Flasher shirou and saber pair


Also, are we redoing the rolling?
>>
Rolled 18

>>22293517

Rollingu
>>
Rolled 5

>>22293517

HAHA TIME FOR NAT 1
>>
>>22293574

I guess?

Too bad, I was actually kind of interested how the failure would go.
>>
>>22293560
You. I like you

"Whew... I'm glad I do cardio. Oh, HEY, Gilgamesh. Glad to see you could make it!"
>>
>>22293648

Same but this is ok too.

But lets just never speak of rerolling again.
>>
>>22293560
>>22293605
>>22293630
Great mostly success, gentlemen! The Blather Cortex is running at just over 70% efficiency!
>>
>>22293648
>>22293574

>Due to some confusion and disagreement before the thread died without clear resolution, I decided to compromise: Still counts as a failure, get another shot, but wouldn't give an additional failure for fucking it up.

>Hopefully any other discussion about a re-roll or something Won't happen during auto-sage on the ass-end of the thread as I leave for the evening.
>>
>>22293722
It was pretty terrible timing.
>>
Rolled 14

>>22293722
In that case: >>22293517 ROLL!
>>
>>22293722

Right, thanks for clearing that up.

And let us now play as the dice lie.
>>
>>22293752
Don't we already have three?
>>
>>22293767
He's a tripfag. He doesn't know any better.
>>
>>22293795
...Isn't AC-Guy tripping? Do you REALLY want to taunt the GM into making things harder?
>>
>>22293961
Yeah, but AC is running a quest thread.
That other guy is just making an ass of himself.
Bit of a difference there.
>>
"Archer?"

"What." He says plainly, staring at me.

"What are you doing here? Did you save Saber?"

"I... No, you said she was fine." He responds, making some sort of mental calculations. "How the hell did you beat me back here?"

"I never left."

"You never-" He blinks, his mind apparently catching up with the situation. "What? You were at the temple."

"No. No I wasn't. I sent Rider to try and find Rin, but I kinda figured you had the Saber situation covered."

"So who did I talk to at the temple?"

"How the hell COULD it be me? You expect me to be able to outrun a motorcycle across a river and up a mountain in the dark? I mean, I don't know who it was. There's like three shape-shifters running around other than Assassin."

I can see the gears rapidly spinning into position as he turns back to the door. "The bastard tricked me?!?"

"Apparently." I respond, looking concerned. "Shit, I hope Saber's alright. I mean, if they managed to throw you off the scent then I'm not sure I could save her."

"No, I've got this under control." He growls, walking out the door. he hesitates in the frame, turning to look at me. "The same trick won't work twice. I'll return her safely, defeat caster, AND drag the liar of a bed of coals before dawn."

"You're sure?"

"Hah! you have the word of the King of Heroes! that's worth more than Gold." he responds confidently, as he marches into the night.
>>
>>22294044

After he vanishes into the distance Berserker leans into the wall laughing hysterically. "Well done, malik." he comments, clapping me on the shoulder as I pass. "Hopefully he won't figure out your little trick too soon for us to leave."

I nod and sit down next to Taiga and Sakura on the bench, while Ilya paces up and down the aisle. "This is weird. All this fighting and no Servants have been killed? Something's not right."

"Assassin's dead. Or he got replaced by a different one. I'm not sure of the details." I respond, and Ilya gives me an incredulous look before sitting down on another bench looking thoughtful.

>Actions?
>>
>>22294034

>Some would say that makes me the bigger asshole.

>But then, assholeishness is something of an informed state with tripfags.

>Like Achieving CHIM, without any of the really cool superpowers.
>>
>>22294054
Ask Illya what could prevent a Master and Servant from contracting. Inform her of Saber's reaction to the failure, before Archer interrupted her.
Hug Sakura. Rin's fine.
>>
>>22294044

>The same trick won't work twice.

.... He says as we pull it off.

>>22294054

>Actions?

I don't know. Hug girls, huddle up for our next move?

Huggle up?
>>
>>22294044

Wait, did I miss something, or is he headed right for Caster/Saber again? Exactly what we were rushing to avoid by taking Rider to the temple?
>>
>>22294054
"Assassin's dead. Or he got replaced by a different one. I'm not sure of the details"
Whoa AC-Guy, for all Shirou knows fake!Assassin was hiding and this new True!Assassin is a second, since there are two Archers participating.

>Actions?
Wait for Rider, then track down Archer and punch his smug face until he apologizes for being a dick. I expect it to take a lot of punching, Shirou's never been one to learn easily.
>>
>>22294100
Yes, but this time Kirei is there to heal Souichirou, so Caster will be able to teleport them all out, presumably back to the temple.
Hopefully Gil won't flip his shit and nuke the place.
>>
>>22294100

Kirei popped up before Gil even got here, and they're leaving immediately.

They should be gone from the temple by the time he gets there.
>>
>>22294120
>>22294117

Alright, sounds good. In that case I'm for asking Ilya about the contract.
>>
>>22294111
Saber told us that Gil is a leftover from the last War, not a participant of the current one.
... we should bring this up with him next chance we get. I mean, ten years? He must be awful mouldy.
>>
>>22294111

>Caster said Assassin was gone in the last thread, and Shirou had to fight 'True Assassin' as well. He dosen't know the details, but he's not an idiot.
>>
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>>22294044
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upvZdVK913I&t=03m43s
>>22294054
"See, Sakura? I told you I'd be okay."
>>
>>22294162
Right, so given that Illya just said that no Servants have died Shirou would be slightly more likely to come to the conclusion that there was a second Assassin. Which in fact there is, just not how he expects.

Sorry, being a bit didactic.

>>22294181
>Caster said Assassin was gone
And that's the part that I skipped over. My bad, sorry.
>>
>>22294181
>he's not an idiot.
Fudge.
>>
>>22294069
I can turn it off, if that's easier. I use a trip, since it's easier to find my own posts on foolz when I search by it.

>>22294054
Glorious! King of Heres: fabulously weathy, physically perfect, not very good at Sense Motive.

We need to regroup. Are we still surrounded by shadow-beasts? Because I think taking the team back home for some strategizing and relaxing cooking seems like a plan.

Currently Illya needs to puzzle things out. Perhaps ask her about Avenger, since she seemed to recognize that name. We might as well try teasing out as much a we know about Archer, Gilgamesh, Avenger and Zouken/True Assassin as we can.

>"Well done, malik"
I'm not that up on my Three Kingdoms era. Does this phrase mean something?

>>22294186
>"See, Sakura? I told you I'd be okay."
This would be a nice touch.

Also, checking in with taiga would be fine. She's handling the "Shirou has superpowers" schtick remarkably well.
>>
>>22294054
Question. Why did berserker call us malik?

As to actions we need to move to from the church, and head home. Once we get there we need someone to work on hiding the house.
>>
>>22294251
"Malik" is actually... Arabic, if memory serves...
Means "king", "chieftain" that kinda thing.
>>
>>22294251
>not very good at Sense Motive.
Having too high of a rank in Charisma is technically considered a curse, after all.
>>
>>22294268
>From Wikipedia: Malik (Arabic: ملك ) is an Arabic and Northwest Semitic (e.g. Neo Aramaic) word meaning "king, chieftain" or angel. It is very similar to the Arabic name/ word malek مالِك

It's like he's saying, "Good work chief."
>>
I look over at Ilya. "Is there anything that could stop a Master from forming a contract?"

"Eh?" She says, startled out of her thoughts. "No, nothing that I can think of. Technically, you don't even need the command seals, you just wouldn't be able to really control them."

"Really?"

"Yes. You could form contracts with multiple servants even, assuming you had enough mana and they were willing to bond."

"So nothing then?"

"If they weren't human they might not be able to." She responds. "But for the purposes of the grail 'human' is a little more loosely defined. If they didn't have a soul or something then the bond would be rejected, but then someone like that couldn't be chosen as a Master in the first place."

"Huh."

>?
>>
>>22294300
"So, uh, this is gonna sound weird, but do you know how to check if someone still has a soul?"
GODDAMNIT RIDER WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO
>>
>>22294054

We told caster, kirei and rider to meet back at the house.

That gil got into the church means he probably defeated the phantoms.

Lets take this chance and get everyone back to the house.

If gil goes there he'll face just about every servant save avenger, archer and assassin against him.
>>
>>22294300
So Shirou's soul is gone? Neat. Pity UBW can't trace concepts.
>>
>>22294295
>>22294285

Imprecise translation.

the most direct literal meaning of it falls along the lines of 'guardian/protector of people'. So malik could mean 'wise king', 'brave chief' or 'guardian angel'.

It's also one of the true names of god according to some traditions, but I think that's a little out there.

It makes me suspect that Berserker's origins or Aramaic since similar terms appear in Hebrew and such.
>>
>>22294300
"So is there, like, some way we can check to see if my soul is still, y'know, present?"
>>
>>22294334

Meant to quote: >>22294300
>>
>>22294300
"This is a enlightening conversation and everything, but we need to move."

Get Lancer and Berserker to escort Taiga to our house while we run around looking for Archer.
>>
>>22294300
Better to come out with it now while shit isn't hitting the fan at full force. The sooner we start on a solution, the sooner it gets fixed, the sooner our survival rate goes up.
>>
>>22294331
I seriously doubt this was Rider doing anything to us. All she did was lap up some blood from a few deep piercing wounds. If anything it might have been Zouken or True Assassin's fuckery. More likely them.
>>
>>22294391

I'm not sure, it might be before that. I feel like we've heard this soul thing before.
>>
>>22294334

>The various 'things' Avenger put up are still there. He just didn't try and stop gil from coming or going.
>>
>>22294331
>GODDAMNIT RIDER WHAT DID YOU DOOOOO
Maybe it's like her equivalent to a dog marking it's territory?
>>
File: 1356854135216.jpg-(1.07 MB, 1500x1060, FSN - Rider Lilly.jpg)
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>>22294300
>"If they weren't human they might not be able to."

FFFFFF- Worst fears confirmed. Avenger gives us freaky-dreams, then Rider says we have no taste, and now evidence suggesting we lack a soul.

We should telly Illya about what happened at the temple with rider sucking out the poison. And then tell her about the botched contract with Saber.

Finally, we should get her to spill the goods on Avenger - he's connected to this hole thing, and we need to figure out how.
>>
>>22294300
We should mention that we tried to re-contract with Saber and it failed miserably. Something must have changed between our orginal contract with Saber and the failed one tonight, and it might be damn important. For example, Rider might have turned us into a vampiric sex-slave earlier. Best Bad End
>>
>>22294391
>>22294331
>>22294406

Actually, didn't she say we tasted 'empty'?

Like weird in a way that smelling our blood made her actually think we were poisoned?
>>
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>>22294406
So you're saying that Rider has claimed us as her PROPERTY?
Please, do go on...
>>
>>22294354
While you are correct, I was referring to how it was being used here, more as a colloquial sign of respect. Of course it could be foreshadowing.

>>22294422
I thought that was more of a reference to how Shirou doesn't have a self. You taste like what you are, I guess?
>>
>>22294398
AC's post makes me think of something. It might be Avenger's existence that's pulling something from Shirou...wait a minute.

Rider said that Shirou's blood tasted like it was empty or made of nothing, like it lacked the stains and enrichments of having a life of ups and downs, right? And Angra Manyu (Avenger) is supposed to be "all the sins of the world" or something like that, right? Could Avenger's existence be partially reliant on the existence of Shirou, thusly causing strange side-effects?
>>
So how are we getting out of the church with those things still up there?
>>
File: 1356854628468.jpg-(1.02 MB, 1365x1024, The Pillars of Nosgoth.jpg)
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>>22294449
>Avenger's existence be partially reliant on the existence of Shirou
Oh shit.
>>
>>22294503


We can call our house, see if caster can manage a mass teleport.
>>
In any case, lets formally introduce ilya and taiga.

Imouto, meet nee-chan.
>>
"Alright, so bearing in mind how impossible it is, what would you say if I told you Ii couldn't reform my contract with Saber?"

I say it casually, but Ilya immediately SNAPS to attention, eyes wide. "Come again?"

"Saber and I tried to reestablish our contract earlier, and it wouldn't take for some reason." I respond. "She was able to make a makeshift one with caster to secure an agreement. Well, that's complicated politics, but-"

I'm not able to finish the rest, because Ilya shoves me over so my Head's in Taiga's lap. "Hold him down." is all she tells the girls on either side of me as she touches a glowing hand to my forehead. In the corner of my vision, I can see Lancer giving me a curious look. Berserker merely stands there impassively.

Sakura looks concerned at Ilya as she hold my legs. "Is something wrong with Sempai?"

"I'm not sure." Ilya responds. "Ignoring the partly healed knife-wounds, everything about him is weird on the inside."

"What do you mean?" Taiga asks.

"I mean it doesn't make sense. He has some magic circuts, but they seem weak and pointless. but his entire nervous system 'thrums' like a giant circuit. That's like having the tires power the car instead of the engine." She opens her eyes. "His muscles seem to be both well defined and weaker than they should be. his immune system seems non existent, but my probes just failed to do anything."

"What does that mean?" Sakura asks, concerned.
>>
>>22294649

"I have no idea." Ilya answers, exasperated. "It's like if someone tried to build a biplane, but had never seen one. And the only description for one was basically 'has a spinning prop and flies' so they end up inventing a helicopter instead."

"Are you saying I'm not human?" I ask, confused.

"No, you're human." Ilya responds. "You're very much a natural born human. It's more like somebody tried to reinvent the MAGE."

".... Is that bad?"

"I have no idea." she responds, giving me a curious look. She gestures that Taiga and Sakura can let me go, then turns to her servant. "Berserker? Have you ever heard of something like this?"

He shrugs. "A few odd cases, but nothing quite like his. I can't even trust his own story."

Ilya looks at him like he just told her something even more impossible, before looking at me again. She then leave to 'think' without saying another word.

>Actions?
>>
>>22294661
"So, what do you all want for dinner?"
>>
>>22294686
This.
>>
>>22294661
but what about our souuul
"God damn wizard shit."
>>
>>22294709
Our soul is made out of Sword.
>>
>>22294661
So now our whole body is a magic circuit? What in the hell caused this?

Also, after we get some introductions with Taiga out of the way, are we looking at some incoming downtime, or more action? I'm a bit at a loss as to the general narrative mood at the moment. My choice of action depends on whether we're trying to get somewhere quiet or if we're trying to still do stuff.
>>
>>22294686
The only acceptable course of action.
>>
>>22294752
Yeah, fuck this soul shit. I hear chicken soup is good for it anyways.
>>
>>22294735

>Assuming you don't come up with a 'clever plan' you're stuck here until dawn, which is when Avenger said he'd let you out.
>>
>>22294782
>Clever plan in quotes
So no clever plans, then.

What's for dinner, then?
>>
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>>22294661
>It's more like somebody tried to reinvent the MAGE.

Well, that's fucked up. Are we pic related, in reverse?

>"A few odd cases, but nothing quite like his. I can't even trust his own story."

Quiz Berserker a little on what he means by this. Is he calling us a liar? Or are our memories fabricated.

Barring this: Talk with Taiga about stuff. Did she remember anything funny about us growing up? Any strange incidents involving Kiritsugu?

If this yields nothing, we go with Sakura and explore the church, to see if Kirei has a kitchen around here somewhere
>>
>>22294782
>to fight to the death
You, uh, forgot the important part.
>>22294823
>Is he calling us a liar? Or are our memories fabricated.
I think he's referring to the fact that we have no idea what we're talking about.
>>
>>22294782

We can call back to shirou's house to see if caster can do anything but we should be ok...

Maybe we should call Rin. On the off chance she picks up the phone.
>>
>>22294884
Unconscious kidnap victims generally answer their phones even less than walking tech banes.
>>
>>22294902

Maybe Archer will pick up, we can trade insults.
>>
>To everybody suggesting dinner, you guys realize it's the middle of the night, right?

>The whole thing with Archer didn't even start until two in the morning.
>>
>>22294911
I can see it now. "Picked up by the second ring, must be the batman. Not that Batman, I mean the butler. I mean Servant. 'Sup asshole?"

"Oh hey, it's the proverbial red-headed stepchild. I think daddy needs to beat you some more. Oh wait, he's dead! And it's probably your fault."
>>
>>22294918

Stressful situations make people hungry.

Also, implying taiga will NOT be hungry.
>>
>>22294936

An early breakfast, then a nap?
>>
>>22294918
Breakfast then?

And we should also get in contact with people. I just like the idea of us learning that we're a complete oddity, might not have a soul, and were built in a strange imitation of a mage that manages to cast spells and our first reaction being making people some food.
>>
>>22294884
No harm in trying. At the very least, we have a chance to weasel some info out of the Red Asshole or guilt him for what hes done to Rin.

>>22294918
Or we can try and get some sleep. I'm not sure what else we can do, other than stew in existential crisis while hoping our friends aren't dead.

Besides: >>22294936 speaks truth
>>
>>22294936

Make food.

Have sakura offer some to lancer.

When he asks after eating tell him its dog. /troll
>>
>>22294931
Ooh, goin' straight for the daddy issues card Archer? Speaks to having been molested as a young boy. Maybe we should meet up, you can show me on the doll where he touched you, and I can cut your treacherous eyes from your skull for kidnapping someone I care for very much. It'll be a good time. For me. You won't have eyes. Gonna make it a real bitch to shoot, kinda makes you useless. Then I can just feed you to the previous war's Archer.
>>22294964
We should do this.
Just to fuck with him.
>>
>>22294970
Tempting, but do we know about that?
>>
>>22295006
What, the dog meat?
I don't honestly know.
Do we?
>>
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>in time for F/SA
>>
>>22294054
>malik
Is he the Thief of Baghdad? Or Nasreddin, maybe?
>>
I stand up and stretch. "Anyone happen to know where the kitchen is?"

"That way." Lancer gestures. "Second door on the left past the courtyard. Want me to show you?"

"Please."

We leave the room, and Sakura tags along. "Sempai? Why are you looking for a kitchen?"

"I figured people might be hungry." I respond with a shrug. "We're going to be stuck here for a while, so I figured I should at least make some snacks. I'm not sure we'll be home in time to cook breakfast."

We arrive in the kitchen shortly after. A quick examination reveals that the Preist has.... surprising tastes. "Kirei's a vegetarian?" I ask, surprised.

"I was disappointed too." Lander responds. "Nothing like having nothing but vegetables to make you crave a cheeseburger. What are you planning to make?"

"I was thinking dog meat." I respond, giving him a small grin "But now I'm thinking some sort of Veggie stir-fry is in order."

"Alright. Yell if you get attacked so I can laugh at you." He responds, giving me an irritated look as he leaves.

Sakura stays behind. "Sempai? Why are you and Lancer...."

"Antagonistic?" I respond. "He stabbed me. With a SPEAR. Also, his outfit is ridiculous."

"You're just jealous you couldn't pull it off!" Lancer yells from the hallway.

Sakura blushes slightly. "It IS kinda... tight, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I respond with a sigh, as Sakura begins chopping vegetables. Soon we have a decent, if unorthodox, meal prepared. Ilya rejoins us when she smells it, eating in silence.

>?
>>
>>22295141

Do introductions.

Introduce properly imouto to nee-chan and vice-versa.
>>
>>22295141
"You feeling alright Imouto? There anything I can do to help?

I'm worried about you, talk to me, please."
>>
>>22295042
Or he could be the literal Mad Arab, Abdul Alhazred.
>>
>>22295141
Resume explaining shit to Taiga.
Also, call Rin, if Archer answers berate him for being a backstabbing douche just like we expected.
>>
>>22295141
>>22295141
›"So, Ilya, anyone; any ideas on getting out of here?"

Shirou's got nothing going in that deparment, let's see if Ilya has formulated a plan. If we've got nothing to work with, then we should consider what may happen if we wait until dawn. Downtime like this is always a good time to get all the options on the table.
>>
>>22295264
Guys. Can we call Souichirou or Kirei and ask him to get Caster to teleport us out of here?
>>
>So exactly what is the plan?

>Taiga already knows the basics, everyone knows each other, and the votes are kinda... everywhere.
>>
>>22295376
I vote we sleep
When was the last time we slept
>>
>>22295376
I think we're all trying to use Caster to formulate an escape plan. I also support calling Rin to see what happens.
>>
>>22295397

Catch a nap.

Huddle with imouto under covers.
>>
>>22295397

>I think like, thread nine.

>I'm pretty sure this is actually the same day, looking back.
>>
>>22295409
Call Rin, get trolled, call Caster, get teleported.
>>
I try calling Rin's Phone, but after a few rings I find out that she hasn't set up her voice-mail yet.

I idly wonder if she even knows that function exists.

I try my house Phone next, and get Kirei's voice.

"Emiya residence." He says calmly.

"Emiya speaking." I respond.

"Ah, Shirou. It would be best if you actually bothered to explain your plans." he says with a faint note of irritation. "Did you consider that I might disagree with your plan?"

"I figured you'd be happier with it after I told you that I just saved your church from getting blown up."

"... Come again?"

"Angry Servant, loaded and pissed." I explain calmly. "I'm guessing that if you're at my house, Caster and Saber are there as well?"

"Yes. Rider stopped in briefly, but then left to check on something."

"Would you mind putting Caster on the phone?"

"I'll try." he responds. "But she's been unwilling to leave her Master's side for even a moment."

"I see."

I hear some talking in the background, and then Caster comes on the line. "Emiya?"

"Caster. I dealt with the other Archer. Can you teleport multiple people at once?"

The line's silent for a minute. "I'm not sure I could. I need to try and conserve my energy, since I need to support myself and Saber without the help of my Master or my chosen territory."

"So you couldn't get all of us out?"

"No. I think I could safely bring one or two of you here." She responds. "Do you want me to?"

[ ] Yes.
[ ] No.
>>
>>22295651

>If yes, who are you sending? Ilya, Taiga, Sakura, Berserker, Sakura, Lancer, and/or yourself?
>>
>>22295659
Yes, send the two Sakuras.
>>
>>22295651
[x] Yes
>>22295659
Sakura and Taiga, obviou-
>Sakura, Berserker, Sakura
waaaait a second.
>>
>>22295691

>The fuck? How did-

>Fuck it, I don't even care. I'm looking at word, and I'm pretty sure 4chan is trolling me.
>>
>>22295651

>No

Ask how souchirou's condition. It'll just be a few hours and we'll then move to meet them there.
>>
>>22295691
On a more serious note, Sakura and Taiga.
>>
>>22295659
Taiga and Sakura are the most unfit for fighting. Ilya must control Berserker. Lancer is capable of taking care of himself.
>>
>>22295659

I'm voting Sakura and Taiga. They're effectively non-combatants if the Church situation goes to shit.

Also, we're sending emergency cooking relief to Saber. Hungry Saber is an angry and uncooperative Saber.
>>
>>22295651
>2 servants at the church
>2 at the house
>3 people who can't handle themselves at the church
>1 at the house
>1 semi competent person (Shirou) at the church
>1 semi-competent person (Kirei) at the house, though there is no guarantee he is on our side, and he is still affiliated with Gil, yes?

So my vote is that we do nothing for the time being.
>>
>>22295718
Actuallt, shit. Maybe we shouldn't do the teleport in the first place, or keep it to one person. There may be serious repercussions to weakening Caster.
>>
>>22295651
No. Caster needs her energy.
>>
>>22295651
Nah, it's not needed. We can manage for now.

Ask if she wouldn't mind moving the laundry from the washer to the drier, we'd rather it not just sit there.
>>
>>22295738
Oh yes, and Caster is what is keeping Saber up and running. If we tire her out, BOOM 2 servants down, and we lose 1 person we want to keep around, 2 if we include Caster in that group now.
>>
>>22295651
Nope. Ask her to warp us some breakfast ingredients instead.
>>
>>22295770
>2 if we include Caster in that group now.
>if
>now
Dude, we've been trying to set things up so she can run off to Hawaii with Souichirou this whole time. They're a cute couple, and they deserve a shot at happiness.
>>
So are we of consensus to do nothing? I'm fine with that. We could end the call after a little small talk with Caster.
>>
>>22295781
I change my vote from >>22295711 to this.
>>
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>>22295659
>>22295691
>>22295697

>2 Sakuras

Thats not a new thing.
>>
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>>22295824
Well, alright, its actually more than two..
>>
>>22295830
>Virgin White Box
>Virgin
>implying Sakura is a virgin
cacklingshinji.jpg
>>
>>22295837
Well that looks like Red Saber in the figurin and beside the "virgin bride" label.
>>
>>22295830
>fluffy Caster
Hey ACGuy, after we're done with Fate/Stay Again, could we maybe get Fluffy/Caster Adventures?
>>
"Nah, don't bother. If we can't get everyone we might as well wait, especially since you losing energy means potentially losing you AND Saber." I respond after thinking it over. "How's Souichirou-sensei doing?"

She hesitates. "The Priest stabilized him, but he isn't getting better."

"Damn." I respond, leaning against a wall. "Well hopefully we can figure something out when I get there."

"Perhaps." She says with a sigh. "I just wish I knew where to start."

"Yeah, been there." I respond, thinking about Sakura. "It's hard not knowing how to help someone you care about."

There's a long silence. "I don't know what you're talking about." She finally says, clearly flustered.

"Really? I thought it was fairly obvious." I comment. "I'm not judging you or anything, hell, I'd be willing to help just because of what you did for Sakura."

"You are truly despicable." She say, seemingly desperate.

"It's totally fine to just admit that you like someone." I tell her, almost lecturing. "Good lord woman, you're as bad as Rin."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response." She says, a loud slam indicating the conversation is over.

A moment Later, Saber's voice comes on the line. "Caster missed the receiver. What did you say to make her so.... upset?"

"Not much, just being a hypocrite." I respond calmly.

".... Alright." She says after a moment's hesitation. "Anything else you wanted to say? Kirei and Caster are busy with her Master, but I could get one of them, if you like."

>?
>>
>>22295905
Ask Saber her opinion about all this mess, we haven't had a chance to really talk about it.
>>
>>22295905
"Not really, they seem to have things in hand, though Caster isn't willing to admit her love of Souichirou to me.

It's good to hear your voice again. Sorry about failing at the contracting thing, I either don't have a soul or I'm not human, maybe.

If it's not too much trouble could you put the futons out to dry? I completely forgot."
>>
>>22295905
"So, I spoke with Illya about the failed contract, and apparently I'm some sort of magical freakshow. I don't know how we were able to contract in the first place.
Also, I may or may not be missing my soul. Little concerned about that."
>>
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>>22295854
>Nero
>A Virgin

In the game she basically throws it in your face that she devoured cute young boys.

That doesn`t make her any less likable though. I actually liked her Attitude. She basically Gilgamesh with less shounenvillian and more tits.

Tamamo is still my favourite though.
>>
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>>22295905
"If the King of Heroes shows up, try to give the others some time to flee or regroup by seducing him, Saber."
>>
>Checks /tg/ during a break in DnD.
>Fate/Stay again
>Fuck yes, everyone's busy playing CoD and I can participate!
>>22295905
Go with >>22295938
>>
>>22295943
You forgot to mention, she calls Shinji a talking rat, which immediately endeared her to me.
>>
"No, I think they have things well enough in hand at the moment." I respond. "Pretty sure Caster and her Master are in love though, just so you're aware."

"I see." Saber responds. "That would explain some things."

"Also, I'm apparently a magical freakshow who may or may not have a soul. Little bit concerned about that. I'm frankly not sure how or why we managed to form a contract in the first place."

"Wait, what?"

"I'm not really sure either." I answer honestly. "Oh wait, if it's not too much trouble would you mind putting the futons out to dry? I completely forgot."

"No, it shouldn't be too big a deal." She answers. "Why aren't you more concerned about the soul thing?"

"I'm guessing it's because I've got... what, six hours of sleep in the last two days?" I say, shaking my head. "We shgould be headed your way in an hour or so when the sun rises. I'll cook a little something for breakfast and then I'll probably just crash for a little bit."

"Alright." She says, concern in her voice. "Let me know if I can do something to help."

I assure her I will, before hanging up the phone, and returning to the Chapel, where the others are staying.

>Plans?
>>
>>22296072
>Plans?

Did we tell them about our meeting with zouken and his assasin? Cause we should.
>>
>>22296072
Talk to Ilya, see if we can get some answers out of her. She's been quiet and thinking a lot. Ask why she calls us Onii-chan, what she thinks we are, if she has any idea why we're so odd. She's hiding something.
>>
General to-do/figure the fuck out list:

Illya knows about Avenger, ask her EVERYTHING about him.

Avenger keeps implying that Shirou is helping him somehow, and that we have some sort of connection through Avalon or something.

Avenger also commented on how he's being non-linear.

Tell Rin we don't know why we look like avenger, unless it's because of the hypothetical bond between us, Avalon, and Avenger.

Ask Illya if she can, using her connection to the grail and the 3rd magic, see if we are in fact connected to Avenger and how.

Avenger apparently gave us something.

Some mage blocked out memories of Avenger. We need to get them un-blocked.

Talk to Rin about the jewel, and how we heard Archer say "trace...off", which is our trigger.
>>
>Berserker uses Aramaic term.
>Weird mark on forehead when transformed.
>Has some connection to people going batshit murder-boner.

AH FUCK.

AH FUCK!
>>
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>>22296072
>Ginger
>Finds out he has no soul

Why are people surprised about that.
>>
>I'm actually not sure what the plan is.
>>
>>22296233
We don't have one
>>
>>22296233
We`re pretty much clueless at this point.

>It can`t be helped.
>>
>>22296233
Lets do >>22296084 and >>22296088 for now.
>>
>>22296233

I vote panic: >>22296201

Followed by nap.
>>
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>>22296260
Yeah.. lets go with this. This seems like a plan. I guess.
>>
>>22296189
i'm voting just go down the checklist and start knocking shit off of it.
that way we can hopefully start making sense of thispile of rediculousness.
>>
>>22296201
>>22296267
So who is Berserker? My knowledge of Arabic history/mythology is pitiful at best.
>>
>>22296324

>Arabic

I think that's more of a regional thing, since it only reinforces my fear of:

>Branded forehead.
>First person mythologically speaking to flip out and kill someone.

Pointing somewhere REALLY BAD.
>>
>>22296324

Less 'arabic' and more 'biblical' hombre.
>>
>>22296364
>>22296370

Oh.

OH.

AH FUCK.
>>
>>22296364
>>22296370
I know only slightly more about that, and I'm going to look him up before I inevitably go "oh fuck."
>>
>>22296364
and then berserker was cain.
once everyone realizes this, then they may proceed to shit their pants for the next 24 hours.
>>
>>22296364
Wait...
Shiiiiiiiiiiittttttt...
>>
>>22296387
Forgive the Copy and Paste from Wikipedia, but...
>Cain treacherously murdered his brother Abel, lied about the murder to God, and as a result was cursed and marked for life.
>Cain's curse involves receiving a mark from God, commonly referred to as the mark of Cain. This mark serves as God's promise to Cain for divine protection from premature death, with the stated purpose to prevent anyone from killing him.

>prevent anyone from killing him
Well. Good Grail War Ilya. Seeing as we won't kill you, you win.
>>
>>22296471
>erryone loves illya and berserker literally cannot die since he died aready and the day for him already came and went
welp, sounds like she managed to luck out in probably one of the only timelines where she doesn't die really hard.
>>
>>22296471
actually if it is cain, if gilgamesh goes off in one of his tyrades of being the king of heroes or some shit, i want to see berserker just easily kik his ass saying i'm older.
>>
>>22296520
"I was there before humanity was cool."
>HipsterCain.jpg
>>
>>22296520
Pretty sure Gil could fuck Kain if he wanted.
>>
A sudden thought occurs to me, as I look over at Berserker.

He meets my eyes and smiles, and I know I've guessed horribly, horribly right.

Cain, Father of Destruction.
Berserker
STR: E
END: E
AGI: E
MAN: E
LUK: E

Skills:
Mad Enhancement: EX+
As Berserker class, Cain is capable of using Mad enhancement of up to B rank without any loss to Sanity when combined with his Noble Phantasms.

Independent Action: A
Can remain in this world for a week even after losing his Master. However, to use Noble Phantasms of great prana consumption, back up from the Master is necessary.

Noble Phantasms:

The Father of Madness: EX
Cain is capable of assuming the form and memories of anyone who could qualify for the class of Berserker. this 'Mask' is one rank lower than of the person mantled would be, if properly summoned. This ability is effectively sealed against anyone who knows his true identity, as knowing the name behind the mask robs it of power.

If he is killed wearing a mask and the killer knows not his true name, then he survives and reverts to his normal self. The mask is lost to him, however.

The Mark of Cain: ???
Cain was cursed to 'Live' at the hands of God for his sins. Anyone who Slays him knowing his true name is doomed to bear a curse of Divine retribution.

It's unknown the power or shape of this curse.

As i stand there, shaking with the knowledge, he puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I can't kill you, Malik. besides, I'd make a better Caster."

>what do?
>>
>>22296611
"So.. how was God like? You did meet him, right?"
>>
>>22296611
"eep"
>>
>>22296611

/scream internally

Then tell them about zouken and assassin.
>>
>>22296611
"I'm sorry.

You may have done a bad thing but everyone deserves a chance at forgiveness."
>>
>>22296611
TALK TO ILYA >>22296260
>>
>>22296611
Well, that's pretty cool.

Moving on from that, we should:

1. Talk to Ilya about True Assassin and the old Assassin. I don't know if Assassin's weird status is why she doesn't know he's dead, or if Avenger's usurping the grail functions from her.

2. Talk to Saber about Avalon/the sheath - we have enough IC knowledge to do this, IIRC. Seriously, guys, this has been foreshadowed heavily. I'm pretty sure the first weird dream with Avenger (shadow of the sheath, first you must kill yourself etc) is still applicable. Our seeming lack of a soul means we've probably killed ourselves somehow. It's still not completely clear, but learning as much about Avalon is a good idea, especially as we are the sword now.
>>
>>22296611
Pass out.
>>
>>22296627
>>22296649

"Don't mourn for me friend, in many ways I deserved my fate. The finer jest than my life is how nobody tells the story right, when it's my duty to keep all the stories."

I'm not sure what to say to that as he walks away. Ilya looks between us. "He knows?"

"As well as I know him." Is all Berserker responds as he walks away, smiling.

>>22296657
>>22296699

I tell the three other participants in the war about my encounter with Zouken.

"So the Master's dead, but his Assassin's alive?" Ilya says, looking out the window. "That's troubling. Assassins are generally the weakest in a direct fight, but tend to have powers and abilities that make them deadly in the hands of someone clever."

Berserker nods. "I came at him three times, and he never gave me a step, no matter what powers I used. he even managed to slay me twice, the Assassin at the gate. If this other could best him, he's a dangerous foe indeed."

>If you wanted to quietly confront Ilya on something, as was suggested, pick a topic to start with.
>>
>>22296749
Ask Ilya if someone can lose their soul to blood-sucking.
>>
>>22296749
Why, exactly, does she call us onii-chan?
>>
>>22296774
Ooo~ this
>>
>>22296749
"I'm hesitant to say dead, as Berserker shows killing someone doesn't mean they'll stay dead.

Ilya, I've been wondering why you always call me Onii-chan. You don't call anyone else anything like that. Is there a reason behind it?"
>>
"Hey Ilya?" I ask, deciding to clear the air as soon as possible.

"Yes?" She returns, catching the change in tone. Berserker quietly motions for Lancer to walk away with him as we sit down.

"Something I've been wondering about. Why do you always call me Onii-chan?"

Ilya hesitates, and then looks away, sad. "It's because of Kiritsugu. The Einzbern family wanted his skill and ability on our side during the fourth grail war. to secure his cooperation, they gave him anything he could possibly desire. When he met a beautiful woman, they gave him a wife. When he needed money, the gave him a king's ransom. and then he willingly threw it all away to win the Grail." she looks away, at the ceiling. "In the eleventh hour, he destroyed everything that mattered to him trying to win the grail. And then when it was in his grasp, he destroyed it. He created some kind of magical fire to cover his escape and vanish." She hesitates, and then continues. "He never explained why, or tried to make amends. Despite everything he might have been forgiven if he apologized and explained himself. I guess I just wanted to know."

"Know what?"

"Why he threw it all away. I thought if I got to know you, then I would understand. I couldn't be your lover, and I wouldn't be able to sneak into your school. I thought maybe I could be your sister." She blushes slightly, looking away. "It's stupid and selfish, I know. I- I'll stop if it bothers you."

>what now?
>>
>>22296899
"I've always wanted a little sister. Come on, give me a hug.

Dad must have had a good reason for what he did, all we can do is believe in him."

After that, and some hugging, we can ask about the soul thing and see if she has any more insight.
>>
>>22296899
This is fine. >>22296924
>>
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>>22296899
>I couldn't be your lover,

"Whoa there. I never said you couldn`t! "

[x] LOLI-IMOUTO-ROUTE, GO!
>>
>>22296966
We gotta say something here. You have my vote.
>>
>>22296966
>>22296978

Please don't. We already have like five people we need to deal with.

I'd rather have an awesome sibling than to turn Shirou into a pedo.
>>
>>22296978
>>22296966
Well, I'd just like to say that I am vehemently opposed to an Ilya route.
>>
>>22296990
>>22296995
You guys are bad people.
>>
>>22296996
Now don't start a shitstorm anon, we don't need waifu wars. I just like Ilya better as a sister than as a love interest.
>>
>>22296996

I'm pretty sure AC-Guy said he was uncomfortable with an Ilya route.

Not like, hardcore against, but very much squick.
>>
>>22296899

>>22296924
Voting for this,
Engage Power Sibling hug
>>
>>22297016
I stand by my statement.
>>
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>>22296990
>>22296995
>Not wanting an BESTGIRL-Route
>>
>>22296990
Well, I'm also against the route, but Ilya is actually OLDER than Shirou, and isn't blood related, so there isn't really a legitimate reason to not go for an Ilya route.
>>
>>22296899
Voting for >>22296924

Then hug.
>>
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>>22297012
>>22297016

You guys are aware that she is older than Shirou, right?
>>
>>22296990
>pedo
You know what?
Now I'm voting for Illya route.
Just so you shut up. The pedo argument pisses me off greatly, especially after MSQ was entirely derailed by fucking arguments about that shit.
...Then again, MSQ turned out to be pretty shitty.
>>
>>22297056
Eh, it was all fun and games until it grew a plot.
Then LG evaporated.
>>
Utterly ignoring that particular argument that never ends well, I prefer Ilya as a sister. Go with sibling hug.
>>
>>22297055
>>22297056

Sure she's an adult trapped in the body of a little girl.

It's still the body of a little girl.

As a result, I really feel uncomfortable with romancing Ilya.

Don't get me wrong, I freaking adore her as a character. I just CANNOT make myself see her as a love-interest. I'm not gonna point fingers and say anybody's in the wrong here, I'm just saying I don't feel comfortable endorsing it.
>>
>>22297090
I cannot understand your difficulties with it and endorese it whole-heartedly.
>>
>>22297076
Hell, I'm on the side of Ilya as sister, but the fucking pedo argument really fucking pisses me off.
We are on 4chan, for fuck's sake. On /tg/, which has a mentality that makes even /b/tards and /d/eviants uncomfortable. And we aren't even doing explicit porn here. Goddamn.
>>
>>22297098
>>22297056
I fap to loli quite regularly, but I prefer Ilya as a sister. Why? Because I feel her character works best as a little sister and I can't see Shirou, fine moral upstanding guy as he is, screwing a little girl even if she IS older than him.
>>
>It probably says something about me that upon seeing this argument my first thought was to write the creepiest full-pedo rapist vision thing I possibly could just to make EVERYONE uncomfortable.

>That said, I think 'Sister' is beating the 'Lover' choice, so I'm going to go with that and call it a night, picking up here later. I'm just calling the vote here and now before this can go from name calling to a full-on shit storm.

>If you guys can keep this thread alive until tonight, I'll keep it going. Otherwise I'll see you in the next thread.
>>
>>22297142
Will do bossman
>>
>>22297142
I am incredibly disappointed, but not surprised.
>>
>>22297142

Make it suitable vague.

Leave the option to turn into the other.
>>
>>22297090
>It's still the body of a little girl.

Isnt that the same arhument by proxy that australians used to ban porn?
"Well, flat-chested women look like little girls so everyone who is into flat-chested girl is a potentional pedo and we should outlaw porn because of that."

Not to say that I don`t get where its coming from so I kind of do understand your problem with it.
But on the other hand, isn`t that exactly the appeal of Lolis in anime? Because they behave nothing like actual little brats do? Why is this sopposed to be on the same level as pedophilia? Real-life little girls are bleh.
I´m on 4chan since forever, I remember when /b/ still had daily Pedoshit-Threads ( and I mean PEDO-Threads not Lolistuff) and I can pretty much say that its disgusting and terrible in RL.
>>
>>22297142
Kind of disappointed but.. eh.. its probably the most diplomatic solution. Thanks anyway, AC-Guy.
>>
>>22297194
Yeah, there's a big difference between reality and fiction.

I wouldn't want to be the little girl dressed in a short skirt and running around in a forest full of tentacle monsters in real life. But in fantasy, I totally would.
>>
>>22297194
Why not both?
>>
I approve of Ilya route, but either way, let's be honest here. What do you think Shirou is going to say here? No, it's fine, you can totally be my lover?

Doubt it. Even if I'd like that, being IC it's far more likely that we have other concerns. You know, like Shirou getting all flustered and explaining that there isn't a problem with Ilya calling him Onii-chan. And desperately trying to ignore that it was ever brought up.
>>
Someone should probably archive this, in case we fuck up and forget to bump it or something.
>>
>>22297399

Doubt we'll be forgetting this soon.

sage to save the bump limit.

That Ilya needs a hug.
>>
just so you guys know, someone's spamming downvotes for Fate/Again.

When you look at the page, it's pretty obvious since a lot of the ones that were sitting in purple are now green or white. the only ones untouched are the ones that got archived in a weird order.
>>
>>22297467

Just another day in the life of a quest thread on suptg.
>>
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Alright, internet is up and running again and--
>>22296611
Oh dear sweet ever loving mother of fuck this is a lot worse than I imagined it could be.
I know we're not planing on it, but let's NEVER piss off Ilya to the point where she wants to fight us.
>>
>>22297868
We're actually one of the few people who might be able to take him out, we know his identity so Father of Madness is sealed.

It'll be one hell of a Pyrrhic victory though due to Mark of Cain.
>>
>>22297886
>Anyone who slays him not knowing his true name
Irrelevant. When you figure that out it really cripples him.
>>
>>22297903
What? We can kill him but Mark of Cain literally says
>Anyone who Slays him knowing his true name is doomed to bear a curse of Divine retribution.

Not knowing his true name means he doesn't die, only the Mask dies, knowing his true name means he's stuck at E rank everything, but killing him curses us something fierce.
>>
>>22297919
Our only solution would be to have True Assassin or Avenger learn his name and then kill Berserker. That way, they'll be weakened afterwards and we can pick them off--
Wait. Why am I plotting the death of a valuable ally in our "Everybody Lives" route?
>>
>>22298059
Because you have half a brain?
>>
>>22298059
Because it's fucking Cain.

Also even though we're going "Everybody Lives" it's still a good idea to have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

In terms of Game Theory it'd be an interesting strategy to tell everyone that your Servant was Cain. Nobody would be willing to attack you until you were the only one left as the fear of the curse means they think that if their Servant or themselves are cursed their chances of beating anyone else plummet.

Though once there's only one person aside from you left they just kill Cain and win. Not optimal, but pretty interesting to think about.
>>
>>22298439
But if you don't them then he is probably the third most versatile Servant you could get.
>>
keepin dis alive
>>
>>22298059
>our "Everybody Lives" route
That reminds me: how, exactly, are all these Servants going to be supported, magically, once this is over? The Grail can't be left alone what with Avenger's taint being smeared all over it and everything.

And what about Archer's murderboner for Shirou? And Gilgamesh's, well, everything?
>>
>>22299615
Wouldn't killing Avenger solve the taint issue? I haven't played F/HA yet so I dunno.

Archer we can maybe convince. We'll just have to think about what we would say to ourselves to stop us killing our past self.

That was a horrible sentence and I hope it makes sense.

And fuck Gil, he can die.
>>
>>22299676

Are we gonna try and save Kirei? He's kinda a dick. And has been feeding orphans to Gil for the past ten years.
>>
>>22300189
>He's kinda a dick
...Isn't he a full-blown psychopath?
>>
>>22299676
>>22300189
gil so far is a dick but hes more hilarious then anything so i say leave him alone, or let him punch avenger to death and get blammed for it in the process.
also i vote for leaving kirei alone because he did save sakura after all.
>>
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>>22300275
I'm voting for removing Saber's ahoge and shipping her with Gil.
>>
>>22300249
He just can't find happiness in anything other than the despair of others. Really all he needs to do is travel the world or maybe move to Detroit.
>>
Guys, we forgot something.
The motorcycle.

Let's go to the temple when we get the chance. Our servant needs a mount.
>>
>>22300565
I had assumed read:hoped Caster took it with them.
>Our servant needs a mount.
We haven't a servant to our name. Stupid soulless gingerness.
>>
>>22300634
so my question is how in the flying fuck did we even get a servant in the first place, apparently our magic circuits are all kinds of batshit retarded, and is there any way in hell to get saber back?
>>
>>22300565

Think about this carefully: Do we really want to give Gil evidence, ANY evidence, that "Saber's Master" Emiya Shirou and "Ha ha, I will trick you by pretending to be" Emiya Shirou are the same person?

Because at the moment he doesn't have that.

Let's go plant it at the ruins of the Matou house or something. Then he'll go hunt Assassin.
>>
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>>22300657
>>
>>22300411
> maybe move to Detroit.
Oh god, I can just see it, Kirei treating Detroit like an amusment park.
>>
>>22300818
He just sits on the veranda, sipping wine and enjoying himself.
>>
>>22300818
And me without my Rejoice.jpg? What a terrible day this has been.
>>
>>22300657
i think it might have something to do with avenger's gift he was talking about. and he has now taken it back.
>>
>>22300818
So why do Americans always joke about Detroit being an evil place?
How bad can it be? The closest I can imagine is a place where the only school form is the Hauptschule.
To characterize the Hauptschule, which is the lowest of the three secondary school forms in Germany:
>"Why are there no school shootings at the Hauptschule?"
>"The students would shoot back"
>>
>>22300899
>So why do Americans always joke about Detroit being an evil place?
Not evil, just a pretty unenjoyable place to live.

>"Why are there no school shootings at the Hauptschule?"
>"The students would shoot back"
I've talked to people that have lived there (Detroit) and it pretty much be summed up something like that.
>>
>>22300899
I assume it's the same as any industrial city, mostly lower class, bad infastructure due to the city not being planned right as they never thought it would get that big, high crime, lots of dirt and pollution from the industry, jobs there are not well thought of, etc.
>>
>>22300899
It's a city with a history of gang violence and heavy industrialization. Pollution, low quality of life (compared to other places in the country), lots of slummy areas, and so on. It's just gotten to be a decrepit, violent city. It's not evil, per se, it's just a place I would never go of my own volition.
>>
>>22300899
Imagine Berlin-Kreuzberg on a citywide scale.
>>
>>22300899

The Hauptschule I attended was at least as good as the Elevator Schools they call Gymansium, man. Pretty much all of us with good grades went on to get their university degree.

We did have a lot more violence though. Like somebody broke my nose back then and I did not even notice.
>>
>>22301245
And I was just starting to think about Dortmund Nordstadt... Or Südstadt. Or actually any region of Dortmund, except for the industrial region where you have to walk miles just to find a supermarket. And I still had a neighbor destroy my door because he was high.
>>
AC GUY WHERE ARE YOOOO
>>
So, what do you think Cain meant when he said he would be better as Caster?
>>
>>22303165

Gone for at least six more hours. cool your tits.
>>
>>22303177
He's got an ability that lets him copy any Heroic Spirit that qualifies for his class the way Shirou copies Noble Phantasms. As Caster he'd be able to copy any Caster, skills and all, at one level lower. Hello Merlin, good to see you decided to participate in a Grail War after all.
>>
>>22303433

I think it's worse than that.

Casters get territory creation, and he talks about knowing all the stories.

It's possible he gives the 'mantel heroes' power he has to anybody who could fit the arch-type, since Caster is a lot more of a support-class than direct combat.

Remember how rider called Perseus a more successful Shinji? Shinji could get all of his powers/abilities, for example.

Which has the potential to be batshit horrifying, because with the Territory Creation bit, I'm not sure there would be a limit to how many not-heroes he could have running around.
>>
So we have...

Corrupt Mentor: Kirei.
Shapeshifter: Cain.
Badass Ninja: Assassin.
'Helpful' Ninja: The False Saber.
Friendly Geek: Issei.
Mysterious Badass: Gil.
Backstabbing Advisor: Archer.
Combat Damsel: Rin.

I swear to god, we just need Avenger to call us 'Brother' snd we'll be playing MGS quest.
>>
>>22303433
So, theoretically, he could become Gilgamesh...and use the Gate of Babylon? And, say, summon shit for Shirou to trace?
>>
>>22304209
Could he turn someone or himself into Shiki?
>>
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>>22304209
Now we're cookin with gas!
>>
>>22304209
Maybe? The ability says it's Berserkers only. Though come to think of it, Gilgamesh did have his wild phase(s), so it might well work.

>>22304240
Assuredly not.
>>
>>22304303

He might be able to turn himself into SHIKI or Nanya, though. They both pretty crazy.
>>
>>22304303
Well, the question was independant of class.
I guess Saber or Assassin would do for that.
>>
>>22304378
Modern humans don't qualify for the Throne. Though why Acrueid got a by in the PSP game I'll never know. Plus the throne is for capital-H Heroes only, or anti-heroes. Nanaya might qualify except that he's not well known enough in-verse, and isn't inspirational except to h-game protagonists and developers.
>>
>>22304574
>Modern humans don't qualify for the throne

EMIYA says that argument is invalid. It's not a problem of them somehow being unable to, it's just that no one has qualified in about a hundred years.
>>
>>22304610
EMIYA isn't a Heroic Spirit, he's a counter-guardian. The jewel Rin used to summon a Servant was so closely tied up with his history as Emiya Shirou he wound up being summoned as a Heroic Spirit. It's why he remembers alternate Grail Wars (kinda) and why his appearance was so dramatic. He just blamed it on Rin's legendary bad luck, and claimed amnesia to boot.
>>
>>22304706
Counter guardians ARE Heroic Spirits. Just a particular type of Heroic Spirits. And technically, Archer's version of the pendant acted as a reverse-catalyst for Rin's, IIRC.
>>
>>22304779
It's more like all heroic spirits are used as counter-guardians, but not all counter-guardians are heroic spirits. Some future Shirou cut a deal with Alaya for power in exchange for service after death, so he gets the work of a CG without the benefit of a heroic reputation and global adulation. Quite the opposite in fact.
>>
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Hora hora, the punishment for spoiling is rape.
>>
>>22304904
>implying anyone on 4chan ever uses spoilers for their intended purpose
>>
>>22304209
>So, theoretically, he could become Gilgamesh...and use the Gate of Babylon?
Or, even better, he could become Gilgamesh... and fuck with Gil's head!
>>
>>22305049
I rate that would be the thing that makes Gil the most angry. Remember how much he hate fakers? Imagine the rage a person impersonating him would invoke. I'd wager it'd bring Ea out immediately.
>>
>>22304904
Oh man, I bet you don't even know that Vader is Luke's father. Or that Sheik is Princess Zelda. That's the level of the spoilers here, the plot twists are entry level knowledge.

Now, the fact that (OH SHIT REAL SPOILERS) a nameless villager sacrificed as All the Evils of the World who qualified as a Heroic Spirit was summoned in the Third Holy Grail War as Avenger tainted the Grail when killed, and then masqueraded as Emiya Shirou in a timeloop created after the Fifth Holy Grail War to give Bazette a chance to heal from fatal wounds while Avenger fell in love with Kirei's daughter Caren Ortensia, returning Avenger's ability to feel more for the world than hatred and leading to the ultimate purification and destruction of the grail system, THAT'S a spoiler.

But you didn't hear it from me.
>>
>>22305125
fuuuuuck
Okay
Is there a functional F/HA translation
Because I need that shit ASAP
>>
>>22305049

For some reason I'm reminded of the BlazBlue Easter Egg where Hazama argues with himself.
>>
>>22305092
Oh of course it would make Gil mad.
That's why we make him wonder if HE's the fake one. He calls himself the King of Heroes, yet he hasn't been acting very Heroic lately. I mean, what sort of Hero goes around promising to rape someone?
>>
>>22305049
I think there was a fanfic about that, where Prototype GIl met standard gil
>>
>>22305171
>F/HA translation
It will be completed Soon!™ Soon™ is circa 2051
>>
>>22304209
I love how I post one thing based off of this and you guys run with it.
/tg/ is awesome.

Sage for offtopic
>>
>>22305125
So... If we kill Kirei, Angry Manjew will haunt everyone for all of eternity?
>>
>>22305521
No. He's talking about Fate/Hollow Ataraxia (ataraxia is a state of tranquility free from anxiety and emotional disturbance.) another VN set after (sorta) F/SN. For some indeterminable reason everyone's alive and not out to kill one another on sight.

Actually? Just read this:
>typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Fate/hollow_ataraxia
>>
>It's going to take me six hours to transfer these files over my network so I can play Far Cry?

>Fuck it, I'm willing to run a bit now if you guys are game. Beats the fuck out of just waiting.
>>
>>22305841

Why are you even asking.

[x] YES
>>
>>22305841
Sure why not.
>>
>>22305841
....right as I decide to go to bed! Bah, I'll read the archive
>>
>>22305841
I'm up for it but I'm pretty sure we're in autosage or right at the limit.
>>
>>22305930
We have about 25 posts left.
>>
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>>22305841

Give her the hugs.

All the hugs.
>>
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>>22305191
Ancient ones. Astarte/Ishtar was a goddess of prostitutes, and Gilgamesh was ENTITLED to the first nights as king. People only got mad about it when he started bragging about it.

>>22305841
We're twenty-two posts away from auto-sage, I've got a six-pack of Mexicoke and the FSN soundtrack cued up, it's dark outside and I'm wearing sunglasses. Hit it.
>>
I see Ilya fidgeting, and smile, pulling her into a hug.

"Nah, I don't mind at all. I'd love to have you as my little sister."

She hesitates, and then returns the hug smiling. After a minute, she releases me and reclines on the bench, much more relaxed. "Thanks, Onii-chan. I'm glad I don't have to worry about what you think."

"Of course. Honestly, the more I learn about the last war, the more I want to know what happened. Dad never told me any of this, and the little bit I've found out really just raises more questions."

Ilya sighs. "Yeah. I think the only people who would would be whoever was in the last war. But the only survivor's in London right now."

"What about Kirei and Saber? They were both in the last war."

Ilya turns and gives me a questioning look, far better at expressing the question of 'are you fucking kidding me' than words ever could. "What?"

"Yeah, Kirei was there, and Saber was Dad's Servant. I don't think the got along very well but...."

Ilya's expression in no way calms or softens.

>?
>>
>>22306084
Suggest talking to Saber about it once things calm down somewhat.

DEFCON OHGOD is not the best time distractions.
>>
>>22306084

"Saber wouldn't be a problem but Kirei? Is there something wrong?"
>>
>>22306084
"There's also the golden haired Archer, he's from the last war as well, but I don't think he'll be that helpful.

I thought you knew all of this.

I've got a question about the Einzbern family. Do you have any idea about the location of an Artifact related to Saber? I'm pretty sure a Catalyst was used when my father summoned her."
>>
>>22306084
If you'd like we can ask Kirei what he knows about Kiritsugu once we're safely away from here, or if you're impatient we can call them.
>>
>>22306084
"Uh, also that gold Archer. Do you want me to call Saber?"
>>
"Maybe we can talk to Saber about it later?" I suggest with a shrug. "There's also that Archer, but I'm not sure how helpful he might be."

"Onii-chan.... Saber can't know about the last war. That's impossible."

"What?"

"Servants don't remember things that happened to them during prior summonings, since they're the ghosts of people who've gone before. The only way that might not be the case is if they managed to reincarnate somehow."

"But Saber does know. I've asked her things, and she's commented on events that she could only know if she were summoned into this age already."

"What?"

"Yeah." I think back. "Actually, I think I remember her mentioning it to Rin and she thought it was weird too."

"It is weird. Servants aren't supposed to work like that." She hesitates. "Berserker?"

"The only things I can think of would be if they gained a true incarnation from the grail and walked this world again, or if they were still connected to the flow of time."

"But if that were the case, she couldn't be a Servant." Ilya states, and Berserker nods.

"Alright, so there's another mystery to solve added to the growing list." I say with a sigh, shaking my head. "What about that Archer?"

"In theory if the Master has enough mana they can keep a servant around indefinitely." Ilya responds. "Plus, Archers have independent action. That could significantly reduce the burden on the Master."
>>
>>22306379

>Dammint, 4chan ate the 'What do?'
>>
>>22306384

Shirou should already have that sinking feeling in his gut since that time he heard archer mouth 'Trace Off'. That and this Shirou isn't stupid.

Confide in Ilya.
>>
>>22305521

Nah. Kirei's wife is already dead. Caren is off doing churchy things and geting ordained and whatnot at the moment.
>>
>>22306379
Talk to Taiga and see how she's handling things.
>>
>>22306436
Other Archer. We still don't know Goldie is Gilgamesh.
>>
>>22306379
"Hmm, Kiritsugu left me some things, mostly guns, but there was a message saying he'd left a 'connection' between Saber and myself. I think he intended to ensure I would summon her as a Servant if involved in a future War.
Would that explain why Saber could remember? And, y'know, why I could summon her at all seeing as I apparently don't have a soul."
>>
We should take this opportunity to explore the church with Lancer.
>>
Well, we're hauling ass to nowhere.
>>
>>22306458

I'm gonna vote for this to break the tie.

Also, how much time is left before Avenger lets us go?
>>
>>22306711
>>22306458

>I'll take it. Gimmie a sec.

>>22306711

>To answer your question, it's starting to lighten up a little bit outside, but it isn't dawn yet. Assuming he keeps his word it should be some time in the next half hour to hour.
>>
I sit down by Taiga. "How're you holding up?"

"I have no idea." She responds with a nervous chuckle. "I don't think it's all really sunk in yet, honestly."

"I hear you." I respond, leaning back slightly. "Less than a week ago, my life made sense. Now suddenly there's a magical war going on, and everybody seems to be fixated on me for some reason."

"Are you still complaining about having worried friends?"

"I wish it were just my friends." I respond. "It seems like everybody involved has some kind of reason to love or hate me, even though I'm easily the least impressive person in the entire war."

"Ah come on, stop selling yourself short." Taiga chides, giving me a gentle slug in the shoulder. "Clearly you're doind something right if you're alive and you've got friends."

"Maybe. But my competition seems to be ancient heroes and legends, one of whom seems to be exactly like me but better. On the 'normal' side of things I have a very specialized form of magic that isn't even that useful against the people we're fighting and no ability outside of that. My magic circuits have the capacity of a teacup while everyone else is running around with Fire hoses. Given my cooking and housekeeping skills, I'm basically best suited for the role of team 'house-wife'. And I'm pretty sure Sakura's better at that too, as well as having more powerful magic."

"It's not all bad. You're really sweet and understanding." Taiga says, clearly looking for something to help.
>>
>>22307168

"I'm sure that'll come in handy the next time assassin starts throwing knives at me." I respond, and then sigh. "I'm sorry. I came over here to see how you were doing and all I did was complain."

"It's alright." Taiga says with a smile. "You don't really let on how you're feeling a lot of the time. I think it's good that you're being honest with yourself."

"..... About my terrible odds?"

"About everything. About what people means to you, and about what's going on. If you know you have shortcomings, you can plan around them. But honestly? Shirou?"

"Yeah?"

"You're doing a lot better than you think." She says with a smile. "Look around. you managed to disarm what could've been really bad. now instead of everything going wrong, you've only got Rin to worry about."

"Not for long." I respond. "I'll save her, somehow."

"I know you will." Taiga says cheerfully. "You've got too much of your Dad in you to ignore a damsel in distress."

Having said her peace, Taiga moves down the pew to drape her coat over Sakura. Apparently she dozed off sometime in the last few minutes.

I glance at the clock. Avenger should bring down the wall before too long, so I should-

[ ] Make an exit plan.
[ ] Check in at home.
[ ] Ask _____ about _____.
>>
>>22307244

[x] Explore Church for blackmail material.
>>
>>22307244
>WWSD?
>LEEROOOOOOY JENKINS!
>Hm.
[x] Ask Berserker about Archer's story.
>>
>>22307244
I would go with exit plan, but I thought we already planned on fighting it out without Taiga and Sakura, who can get ported out...so...
[X]Check in at home
>>
>>22307244
[X] Make an exit plan.

Have Lancer explore the church. His speed will ensure that if there's a way out he will find it faster than we would.
>>
>>22307290

>You guys decided to keep them with you, and told Caster to conserve her strength.

>Hence why they're still in the church, instead of gone about an hour ago.
>>
>>22307329
Welp, that's what I get for not checking through earlier. In that case, change my vote for
[X] Make an exit plan.
>>
>>22307273

If we can explore the church, lets explore the church.

Together with lancer if we can.
>>
>>22307244
[x] Check in at home.

You know, I'll laugh pretty hard if Gil DOES encounter Assassin dressed as Shirou at some point.
>>
>>22307244

[x] Search church

We've done everything but this and Ilya has raised questions about Kirei.
>>
>Vote goes for exit.

>Finish typeing, reach for the send button and the vote changes.

>Alright, rewriting.
>>
".... You know what, I'm going to take a look around." I say, standing up.

"What do you mean?" Lancer asks, looking at me curiously.

"I mean something about this entire situation seems off. Servants from past wars, supposedly impossible things happening left and right? Something's weird, and I get the feeling that Kirei knows more than he's letting on."

Ilya hesitates, looking at me and then the Servants. "Alright just.... be careful, alright? Let me know if you find anything."

I nod, and turn to head deeper into the church.

[Give me a search check. I'm not giving you target numbers here].
>>
>>22307489
>now_this_is_quest_running.jpg
>>
Rolled 8

>>22307591
hahaha oh boy. I wonder if we'll check the basement?
>>
Rolled 13

>>22307591
Let's see what we find.
>>
Rolled 18

>>22307591

ROLL
>>
Rolled 3

>>22307591
Go FUMBLE
>>
Rolled 2

>>22307602
>>22307606
>>22307643

Not bad.

Lets find some incriminating shit.

But if we do, what do we do with Kirei?
>>
>>22307643

"And apparently Kirei is into some pretty kinky stuff."
>>
>>22307591
Also, we're saging now. New thread, or are we losing AC-Guy to the abyss of FC3?

>>22307643
BASED ANON.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22307666

I curse his dl speed to drop as his ISP throttles him to save monies.

1d20 curse
>>
>>22307682
I need an image that says "Do not taunt the GM, for he is fickle and quick to anger."
>>
Rolled 7

>>22307591
...without target numbers I kind of want to roll a d100.

But I won't, because I'm not that much of a dick.
>>
I take a brief glance around his apartment in the back, not finding much of interest there. The belltower also seems to be not much more than a bell tower, though the presence of a few books suggest the Kirei likes to read up there.

I find the basement, and I get an uneasy feeling as I stare at the stairs leading down. I take a step forward, followed by another. Soon I've gone all the way down, and begin to look around.

There was a lot of pain and despair here, I can tell. Something bad happened here, and I can feel the sadness looking around. I walk deeper into the crypt, and start to find bones. Not buried, more like people who were imprisoned and left to rot. The size of them speaks of their age, most fairly young.

I try not to throw up at the implications. I leave the tomb below, and go back to Kirei's office, finding a journal there. I start reading it, looking for something resembling a an explination.

I find what I'm looking for in scattered notes, talking about how the orphans of the fire were placed in his care.

I feel my stomach starting to sink, as I begin to ponder the implications. Kirei's notes talk about how some people in the town seem to think the children are cursed, and it's making finding homes for them difficult.

Then he starts speaking of a robed man, demanding payment for saving him. He claims to not recall anything but laughter, but woke the next day to discover one of the children dead.
>>
>>22307953

He makes note about how he knew he couldn't inform the church without forfeiting his life, and that he was literally powerless to stop the man from doing what he pleased.

Instead resolving to have as many of the children sent away as he could, he managed to save almost a dozen by putting them on a bus to Tokyo to escape the superstition and hope for a real family.

He notes that he wouldn't have done that if he knew the revenge he was plotting, and no more mention is made of the man or the children for years of entries.

Then, the man returned around a week before the war started to 'clean up after himself' and Kirei apparently asked him why he was doing this, and what his plans were.

The only response was that it was 'For his brother's sake'.

I sit there for almost ten minutes, trying to process what I just read.

>?
>>
>>22307953
>>22307971

I...what..?
>>
>>22307953
>>22307971

Puke into a rosebush, and then leave the church. Find Kirei and extract the full story at Gun/sword/gunsword point.
>>
>>22307971
Then it looks like Kirei is not going to be an enemy if he was trying to save the children. This robed person worries me though. We should ask Illya if Kiritsugu had any children other than her, or if there are any magus families that lost a son in the previous war.
>>
>>22308028

Ilya was pretty careful to not tell Shirou that she was his sister.

I mean, it's kinda hinted at without meta-knowledge, but I think there's probably a reason she hasn't come out and said it.
>>
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>>22307953
>>22307971
All of my what-the-fuck.

I think either AC-Guy or Grail-Kun really, REALLY liked Tainted Ideals, because I have some idea who that could be... Of course there's also the chance that I'm completely off-base because what the hell this isn't Kirei at all.
>>
>>22307953
>>22307971
...What? But... what?
>>22308088
You mean that robed man was Caster's old master?
Chances are he's dead if that's the case, but we don't actually know for sure.
Yes, Caster is with Souichirou-bro-sama, but with how we've pretty much anything but canon at this point, it's possible that Caster's old master survived and she just Rule Breaker'd herself to get free instead.
>>
Rolled 13

>>22308088
>Tainted Ideals
Right. I'mma just look this up and...yep. That's another one for the list.

Any others I should know about?
>>
>>22308066
In that case scratch the Kiritsugu part of the question, but we should still ask her and Kirei about the people of the previous war.
>>
>>22308088

>[Tainted Ideals]

>I had to Google that. So since I'm not reading multiple chapters of Fan fiction.... I honestly have no idea if you're even remotely right.

>I'm banking on 'no' though.
>>
>>22308194
What's your crack tolerance? Everything by Mereo Flere is god-tier, and the guy who writes Tainted Ideals has "Gotta Contract 'Em All" on Beast's Lair will make you break down. Moczo's stuff is also funny (Mind of Aluminum and Sick Day in particular) but Chaos Theory is basically the Illya route, so expect serious.

>>22308251
There's virtually no similarity except in how Avenger is acting, and some of the ancillary details are also pinging pretty high on the CoincidenceIthinknot index.
>>
>>22308362
>What's your crack tolerance?
My tolerance is generally stuck at '0 Fucks Given' as long as it's at least decent.

Anyway. We should see about that exit. That bike won't be fixing itself.
>>
>>22308532

Sounds good, if AC-Guys hasn't already started writing.
>>
>>22307971
Well, no one suggested a plan, so I might as well.

[x] Go see Ilya again, ask her if she could tell us what she knows about Avenger.
>>
>>22308532
Or that, and we can save asking Ilya for later.
>>
>>22308532
I think >>22300675 has a good point. If we want to keep the bike we have to tell him we found the it at the Matou household when we went to check it out again.
>>
I walk back to the Chapel, and sit next to Ilya. "What do you know about Avenger?"

"Not much." She responds. "The Einzbern family tried to summon a god during the third war, misunderstanding the written scripture. The servant summoned was weak to the point of uselessness, and was eliminated almost immediately."

"So why the shock?"

"If it's the same Avenger, he's somehow been alive despite our knowledge for more than seventy years." Ilya responds. "His mere presence suggests that something has gone very, very wrong."

We sit there silently for a moment, and Avenger stops inside the doorway across the room. "Very well then. My associate is making his plans and I no longer have a reason to have you all cooped up." He announces calmly before turning and walking across the yard. Ilya looks at him and then back to me, clearly wondering about something.

"Ilya." Berserker says, stepping up to his Master. "Let's go home for the moment. We need to seriously consider our next move." She nods, passively as he picks her up and the two of them vanish into smoke.

Lancer offers to carry Sakura home, since she doesn't need to be walking around. Taiga instead calls a cab, and Lancer leans against the wall. "So what's the plan now?" He asks calmly.

"Aren't we supposed to be enemies?" I return, and he shrugs.

"My Master apparently wants Rin to live. I have no idea why, but I'm not going to hurt you until that's resolved at least."

>Now what?
>>
>>22308823
I still say we just claim Caster brought it with her for Saber to use - Riding: B, yo - and it would really be a waste of such a nice bike to leave it in more pieces than intended.

But, eh, I bow to the majority.
>>
>>22308907

Well then he might as well come with us back home too.

We'll figure out what to do later.
>>
>>22308907
Go home, make plans for dealing with Gil, Assassin and Avenger.
>>
>>22308907
We exchange contact information and head home before Gil comes back and kills us all.
>>
>>22308907
Figure out how to go about stabbing the asshole out of Archer. Or how to stab the life from him. Either-or ya know?
>>
>>22308907

[x] Bring gay space pirate home with us.

All the allied servants under one roof is a very strange thing.
>>
>>22308907
Go home with Lancer and consult the brain trust on how to save Rin.
>>
>>22304209
We could have him become Enkidu and perform some psychological warfare on Gil.
>>
>Alright guys, we're already on page eight here.

>I'm gonna do like, one more post and then do some Far Cry. I might be back in a couple of hours with another thread, depending on how that goes.
>>
"Alright, if you're on our side let's go back to my house." I respond, after giving it some thought. "We need to figure out what to do about the two Archers and Assassin, as well as Avenger."

Lancer nods. "If you're attacked along the way, having a servant would help there as well." He changes into normal clothing while we wait for the cab to arrive, and returns wearing the same Hawaiian shirt combo he had at the Ramen shop.

After an uneventful drive back to my house, Kirei greets us at the door. He helps us inside, and then asks the cab driver to wait there for him. he pulls me aside, into the yard. "We need to talk."

"Yeah, we do." I return, getting ready to confront him about what I found in the basement.

"Caster told me about the Second Archer running around. Rin's father summoned him during the last war. After Tokiomi died, I formed a contract with him since I had already lost my Assassin." He looks me dead in the eye. "At the end of the last war, the last thing I saw before your father shot me and left me to die, was his death. I felt the contract between us Sever, and I watched him fade away."

"And he died?"

"I assumed so." he responds, deep in thought. "But if he's been moving in the shadows for ten years, he's either more cunning or more powerful than we realized. Possibly both, knowing who he is."

I take a deep breath. "Alright, so then... as administrator, what do you think is happening?"
>>
>>22309800

"I have no idea. Sadly, I don't have the ability to just call off the war until things are settled. The best I could do is call this in and get everyone killed." He says darkly. "And even then, the grail might still be summoned but without even these flimsy rules and order keeping the situation contained."

"So what now?"

"The best I can think of is to continue the war, and hope we can find steer it to a more favorable end. I'm not allowed to involve myself in affairs beyond a certain point, but I suppose I can always offer advice. The rest is up to you."

"Me?"

"I was thinking more of the Masters and Servants as a whole." He says, looking away. "Sadly, I can't tell you anything about the other Archer. there's a geas preventing me from revealing any of Tokiomi's secrets to anyone but his Heir.

>I'll let you debate the next course of action from here.
>>
>>22309809
Clearly we need to rescue Rin then. Appraise the situation around the house and see if you can't help anyone feel a bit more at home. Then convene the war council and see if anyone else has any ideas on how to find and rescue Rin without Archer killing us all.

Possibly a plan involving Caster as even though Archer has seen us do some stupid shit in this timeline, we couldn't possibly have been crazy enough to ally with the person who kidnapped Saber, right?
>>
>>22309809
"So could you, say, write it in a letter, address it to Rin, and conveniently leave it in such a location where someone else could find it?"

Rules lawyer mode GO!
>>
>>22309809
Right.

1) Save Tohsaka
+1.1) Beat Archer's bitch ass
+1.2) Attempt to coopt his bitch ass into helping if possible
2) Have her learns her daddy's secrets
+2.1) Figure out a way to beat Gil's bitch ass
+2.1.2) Beat Gil's btich ass while laying eyes on as many Noble Phantasms as possible
+2.2) Get Rin in on the whole 'Shirou lacks a soul' thing
+2.3) Get Rin in on the plotting to beat Avenger's bitch ass
3) Find a way to beat Avenger's bitch ass
3.1) Beat Avenger's bitch ass
4) Fuck me. That's all I've got
5) Profit.
>>
>>22309800
>>22309809
That's certainly different.

Okay, we need more information, so first ask him why he never talked to Rin about any of this extraordinarily important information. We could also suggest that Sakura is similarly Tokiomi's heir, despite being the second daughter and having been traded to the Matou.

Did we ever meet Bazette? If we did, we need to ask what happened to her. If not, we need to find out why the administrator has a contracted Servant.

Oh, we also should ask about vampires.

Then we need to come up with a clever plan to screw Archer over without killing him. Then we rub into his face how we managed to save people without compromising our ideals. Cain and Medea will be very good for this.

While we're at it we should try and convince Kinkaiser to drink his youth potion. You guys will love the effect it has on him.
>>
>>22309991
>>22310038

A post so nice, he made it twice!
>>
>>22309809
Call Rin.
Keep calling until someone answers.
Also, see if Caster brought the bike, and if so fix it and take it over to the Matou house/crater. We'll need to come up with some sort of trick to fool Gil while we investigate the ruins, though.
Wonder if Shirou would qualify for Berseker. If we get maybe!Ciel in on it, we could have 3 Shirous running around at the same time, all claiming the others are Assassin. Should fuck Gil up real nice.
And then Assassin gets a Gate of Babylon to the face while we watch.
>>
>>22310064
Nah, I misspelled face and felt like a moron.



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