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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1357706346990.jpg-(95 KB, 640x360, FateAgain.jpg)
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I clean up from breakfast, with just myself and my unusual guest remaining in the room.

"You mind if I take the knife back? He'll probably want it next time I see him."

"Yeah sure." I answer. "So, are you two a couple?"

"... We're a something." she responds, hesitantly. "Ceil insists that we're 'doing it wrong', but I think that's her religion talking."

"I see. Who's Ciel?"

"The other woman I suppose." She responds with a shrug. "Not sure what else to say there. I mean, you seem to have it down better than me."

"Pardon?"

"These girls aren't yours?" She asks with a note of surprise.

"Not all of them!" I respond startled. "Technically, not any of them. I mean, there's some tones leaning around but I'm more worried about everyone surviving than hooking up with anyone."

Arcueid gives me an odd look, and then a smile. "Huh. I think Shiki would like you."

I think of the chair exploding in Rin's bedroom. "Not convinced, but thanks. Are you leaving?"

"I was going to." She responds, stretching. "Why, anything else you wanted to add?"

"Well Rider left to look around, and her and Lancer should be back around lunchtime to share any intel we have on the Vampire. Even if we don't work together...."

"Extra eyes." She nods seriously and heads for the door. "If the food stays this good I might hang around a while anyway. Might as well talk shop while we do it." And then with a cheerful wave she leaves.

[ ] Work on Bike.
[ ] Practice magic.
[ ] Talk to ____.
[ ] Other.
>>
>>22480940

>[ ] Talk to THE SHARKS

I can just see it

"...Shirou... What do you mean 'Not All of them'?" (With a slasher smile)
>>
>>22480940
>[ ] Practice magic.
Not the bike.
Anything but the bike.
>>
File: 1357706652194.png-(64 KB, 198x192, Nasu - FATE - Sakura shel(...).png)
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>>22480940
>[X ] Talk Sakura.
Shit is gonna get real sooner or later. Should she consider taking magecraft lessons from Rin? We might have taught her to cook, and we could help her learn how to fight, but I don't think we're a very good magic tutor.

Hopefull this won't risk pic related
>>
>>22480940
[X] Practice magic.
We're falling behind in our MAGIC.
>>
>>22480940
[x] Talk to Seibah
We've barely spoken since the shitstorm at the church.
>>
>>22481002
votan for this one
>>
>>22480940
>[x] Talk to Rin.
She seemed to know something about Arc, might be worth investigating
>>
>>22480940
>[x] MAGIC
We will evolve ourselves to gunkata.
>>
>>22481090
And then the SWORDGUNKATA COMPLETE WITH BROKEN PHANTASMS.

[x] MAGIC

We can hit Saber up for a chat when we take a break.
>>
>>22481002

Let the Sharks eat Shirou!
>>
>>22480940
[X] I don't suppose you carry a cellphone?
[X] Practice extreme reinforcing.

Here's hoping she at least knows how to call the house.
>>
>>22481002

Shirou deserves this.

Think before you speak. Heh.
>>
>>22481002

Let the gods hate on shirou begin!
>>
Rolled 5

>>22481289
oh god that was hilarious earlier.
>>
I return to the shed, and sit on a bench near the bike. At some point, I'll have to go and buy some parts for it before I can really fix it, so I decide to try and see how my magic works.

I experiment with projection, seeing how far I can push my limits. I feel like the crest helps somehow. If my Magic's like shooting a gun when I cast, the crest has increased the number of bullets and made the feed smoother.

>Crest effects: Shirou's 'Sword' related bonuses now carry over to all non-exotic melee weapons he produces.

>The cost of all magic use has decreased by 10%.

After getting a feel for how that works, I decide to examine the bow. I call it and return it, and then attempt to call it in another form. Apparently it takes the shape of what I want it to. I can also tell that it's not a real pistol when I hold it, just a magic device that 'shoots' when I pull the trigger.

I discover with some very careful low powered shots that Shotgun effects and high-speed rapid fire like out of a machine gun are impossible. However, I create a bolt-action Sniper rifle easily, as well as the pistol. Also, the 'gun' forms can't shoot projected weapons since they won't fit in the barrel.

>CW Bow Restrictions: NP 'arrows' can only be fired in bow-form.
>'Target practice' low powered bullets are about as strong as a BB gun, and cost next to nothing.
>'Regular' magic bullets have actual combat utility cost about 1 normal projection for a dozen shots.

I feel confident in my new abilities.

>?
>>
Rolled 18

>>22481396
YAY MAGICKS!
gonna vote for shirou to be fed to the sharks.
>>
>>22481396
Head out and walk around the town.
>>
>>22481362
I'm catching up on that now and laughing my ass off. One of the few threads of this I've missed and look what you did.

I should be absent more.
>>
>>22481396

Find Rin. Tell her to call Kirei and find out EVERYTHING.
>>
>>22481396
Wrangle with the totally-not-a-harem

Ask Rin why she shyed away from Arcueid
Ask the Servants why they couldn't detect Arcueid's presence
Try and get Rin to train Sakura so she can at least defend herself.

Touch base with Saber. Go into detail about what we saw in the mirror while we burned.
>>
>>22481547
This.
>>
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>>22481547
>>
Rolled 1

>>22481476
tyeah that was pretty damn great.
>>
>>22481547
This, but might as well ask her about why she was trying not to draw attention first.
>>
File: 1357708605021.gif-(505 KB, 500x375, 1355576242875.gif)
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>>22481609
...
>>
Rolled 10

>>22481701
is it now, i it really?
>>
>>22481701
I don't mind if he uses up all the shit rolls now.
Now, if he wastes a 20 on the other hand...
>>
I decide to look for Rin, and find her walking towards her room from where Caster's set up.

"Hey Rin." I say to her, walking up to her.

She turns startled, clearly having had some line of thought derailed. "What's up?"

"Couple of things. Apparently Kirei knows who the Gold Archer is, but he can't tell ME."

"Why not?"

"Apparently your Father's the one who summoned him, and Kirei signed some sort of Geas that prevents him from giving away his secrets to anyone but his designated heir." I tell her.

She looks thoughtful, and then gets this incredibly angry look on her face. "Wait, I could've just gone and got the collected knowledge of everything this whole-" A blood-vessel visibly pulses on her forehead. She takes a deep-breath and sighs, shaking her head. "Alright, I'll have to go and speak with him when Rider gets back."

"We could go now?" I offer with a shrug, but she frowns.

"And what would we do if Avenger or one of the Archers attack?"

"I kick their ass for threatening you?"

She blinks and fails to completely suppress a blush. "I'll think about it. Anything else you wanted to talk about, or can I get back to helping Caster?" Her tone becomes slightly accusing.

"Well, maybe when you have some free time see how much Sakura knows about Magic. At least make sure she can defend herself." She nods, saying that it makes sense. "Also, why were you so freaked out by our guest?"

"Because of who and what she is?"

"What?"
>>
>>22482068

"She claimed to be a Vampire, but it's a lot worse than that. She also said she had a Marble Phantasm. Having something like that means that she's either an EXTREMELY powerful Fairy or Nature Spirit, or a True Ancestor."

"And that's bad?"

"It means she's considered important and powerful enough to be on speaking terms with God." Rin responds.

"Seriously?!"

"Well, kinda. I'm being metaphorical but that's about how it works." She sighs. "Well at least she seems to be nice to us. How do you do that anyway? Do you possess some forbidden power over the hearts of girls?"

"That concept terrifies me more than you could possibly imagine." I tell her. "All the more so because I apparently have no control over it."

"I was joking." Rin tells me, giving me a concerned look.

"I wasn't." I respond with a sigh. "Well what do we do now?"

"Depends. Should we go speak to Kirei now?" She asks me.

[ ] Yeah. Sooner the better.
[ ] Let's wait until we can take a Servant.
[ ] Sure, but first I need to do something.
>>
Rolled 11

>[X]take a servant
seriously we are gonna get swarmed and bad shit WILL go down, just watch.
>>
>>22482091
>[ ] Let's wait until we can take a Servant.
We're not suicidal here. Or at least we're not suicidal if we can help it.
>>
>>22482091

[x] Sure, but first I need to do something.

I'd like to at least touch upon Saber before we leave.

But if people don't care, I'll go with [ ] Yeah.
>>
>>22482091
[X] Let's wait until we can take a Servant.

Lets take our good buddy Lancer.
>>
Hey AC-Guy previously you were trying to keep mechanics out of the story, but now this >>22481396
?
Was there a vote I missed or just a change of mind?

Note: no jimmies rustled, just curious
>>
>>22482091
[x] Let's wait until we can take a Servant.
Having Saber stuck with Caster is getting to be a nuisance. We should see if Sakura is well enough to support her.
>>
>>22482216

>Magic won, and Shirou does his Magic in the same shed where the bike currently lives.

>He just kinda noticed it on the way by and commented on it.
>>
>>22482216
>>22482254

>Wait, sorry, misread your post.

>I'm not really going into hard-crunch at any point, but I need to let you guys know if something significant changes since it should affect your decision making.

>I mean, it would be dumb for (Designated protagonist) to just assume they can't make a jump when they have a +25 to jump checks or whatever.

>Not seeing Shirou's character sheet is something that was asked for, but I feel the need to make sure you have a gist of what you can do.
>>
Oh things to do.

We haven't had a real talk with Sakura since she was cured. With no Crest, she's probably back to square 1 with magic. Does she even want it back?

Taiga might need some checking up on. She's tough, but it could still help her adjust.

Issei: we showed up one night and took his Bro

Speaking of, can we talk to Caster for once without pushing "you're in looooove". Things might be different this time around and we don't want to ruin things by shoving it at her
>>
>>22482326
Ah, got it. Thanks!
>>
>>22482337
We could ask Sakura if she wanted Rider back, but I imagine she'll say something about " then nee-san won't have a servant. and she'll probably support her better anyway"


We need more Seibah time. Just some bonding, ease up on the ideal challenging
>>
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>>22482091
>[X] Let's wait until we can take a Servant.


We have Gil and Avenger running about, best be cautious.

Question to /tg/ - is Archer even an enemy at this point? He's broken his contract from Rin, and was a dick, but he's also come to realize how WEIRD shit is getting, and was pretty courteous to us. Also, he gave us the bow - that's a pretty good turn to do us, really.

He's only got a few days left, right? Shouldn't we try and help his ass?

IIRC, Rin is contracted to Rider, Lancer is contracted to Kirei, Saber is contracted to Caster, and Caster has Souicihrou. Illya has BROzerker, and Zouken has Assassin(the Watches-Us-While-We-Sleep Servant!)

Could Sakura form a contract with Archer, at this point?
>>
>>22482472
We don't know about Lancer and Kirei. It might not even be true here
>>
>>22482472
He should be on our side, but on contracting him to Sakura let's wait until we see how her body held up to losing all the crest worms. We don't want to kill her by draining her dry.
>>
>>22482091

>Rin

>Forgetting about the existance of phones.

Oh Rin.
>>
>>22482472
Yes, it's possible, but Archer wants to keep up his "Pretend I'm an enemy, it's not like the others will trust me anyway" facade.
But I do want to help Archer out anyway.
>>
>>22482472
Illya should be able to support him no problem. Compared to Berserker he'd be practically no drain at all.
>>
>>22482472
I think he's still suicidal, BUT the crazy shit has postponed his plans. I don't think he'll betray us till the end. we just gotta change his mind before then
>>
Rolled 11

>>22482472
i still think best answer is if we can contract with him and see if we can pull it out of our ass at this point.

personally i think it would be hilarious if we got it to work because lolcrest.
>>
>>22482508
I'm re-reading the threads now to try and compile a rough timeline of the changes we've done. If Kirei-sama's first posts won't be retconned, Lancer refers to his master as a coward in the first thread.
>>
>>22482548

I'm not sure he'll betray us even then. We're not the same person, what would be the point?
>>
>>22482091

Rin.

Can't you just pick up a phone and call him?
>>
>>22482575

Remember that Lancer just wants to fight everything.

An order to just be prudent and scout out enemy capabilities would be 'cowardice' to Lancer and make his master a 'coward'.
>>
>>22482575
I wanna believe mah Bazette is still out there
>>
>>22482588
I'm betting that Kirei won't consider a phone call secure enough to dump that sort of info. All our enemies pretty much know we're using the house as our main base, so it wouldn't be inconceivable that they're tapping our phones.
>>
"If it's not too pressing we might as well wait until we can bring a servant." I respond with a shrug.

"What happened to kicking their ass?"

"I could defend you if I had to, but that's not really a good reason to take unnecessary risks."

"That doesn't sound like you." She says jokingly.

"Well, you'd also be in danger. If it were just me I would probably blow myself up and force someone to carry me home missing a limb."

Rin laughs. "Yeah, that's sounds about right." She shakes her head. "Sometimes I wonder if you have a death-wish."

"I don't actively LOOK for Danger, I just don't go out of my way to avoid it. Especially if it means protecting someone." I shrug. "Anyway, if we're not going to speak with Kirei now, I might as well let you get back to what you were doing."

She nods and walks away to her room, while I-

[ ] Work on the Bike.
[ ] Go fetch bike parts.
[ ] Check on Saber/Caster/Sakura (Pick one).
[ ] Spar with Saber.
[ ] Other.

>>22482575

>Consider everything posted in the threads to be canon.

>>22482637

>This basically. Rin wouldn't even consider calling him an option, and Kirei would tell you to come over if you called.
>>
>>22482637
>mages
>tapping phones
Uh no. Much more likely they'd scry us, which could easily be countered by asking Caster to neutralise them.
>>
>>22482668
[x] Spar with Saber.
>>
>>22482668
[X] Go fetch bike parts.

Let's wander the town. Something good might happen.
>>
>>22482668
[] Spar with Saber

It's been a while, it should be nice to be able to fight without our life on the line for once.
>>
>>22482702

Namely running into Ayako.

I liek your style.

My vote.

[x] Fetch Bike Parts
>>
>>22482668
>[ ] Spar with Saber.
>>
>[x] Spar with Saber... using our new abilities


I may have just suggested we go on a heart to heart talky binge, but let's improved our Shirou
>>
>>22482668

[x] Go fetch bike parts.

"No Rin, let's stay here until we can take someone else. Now ignore me not following my own advice and leaving to buy parts for my sweet new ride."
>>
>>22482668

>THIS FUCKING BIKE.

[ ] Buy parts.

We need to fix it, and then give it to either Rider or Saber.

Or keep it, and see if Rin wants to ride on our sweet new bike.
>>
>>22482668
> [x] Check on Saber.
> [x] Spar with Saber.
In that order and priority.
>>
how about we talk AND spar with saber.
>>
>>22482668
>[ ] Check on Sakura
Good chance to have a talk with here. We haven't spoken much in the last few days outside of life-and-death situations.


>>22482679
You're PROBABLY right, but Kirei got utterly boned by Kiritsugu's unconventional tactics in the last war. Do you honestly think he wouldn't consider it a real risk after losing horribly and nearly dying to Operator McTacticool?
>>
>>22482745

That sounds enough like Shirou that I'm almost tempted to switch my vote.
>>
>>22482745
We have crazy regeneration, and she doesn't.

Though we should stay quiet about that, so as to surprise any possible enemies.
>>
>>22482668
>[ ] Go fetch bike parts.

VROOM VROOM
>>
>>22482782

I'm adding my vote to it, just because it is in fact, our Shirou.

>"Well, you'd also be in danger. If it were just me I would probably blow myself up and force someone to carry me home missing a limb."

I like to think he just says things and people laugh assuming it's a joke.

>+1 bike.
>>
>Alright, it's either a tie, or Bike's winning.

>I THINK bike is winning by one.
>>
>>22482836

I'll go bike just to cinch it.
>>
>>22482785
Avalon doesn't work with us anymore, or at least no where near how strong it needs to be to keep us alive.
If you meant regenerating from having half our skin burned, I'm chalking that up as hallucination. Arc or Saber would have noticed if that instantly grew back.
>>
>>22482845
>>22482836

>Good enough. I'll start typing after I go check on something real quickly.
>>
>>22482849
Uh...we were on fire for a pretty long time. Even if our face wasn't completely destoyed, we should still be in agonizing pain from the horrible surface burns. Burns HURT.
>>
So, I'm reading through the Archives and I notice that Sakura liking Rap music is canon.

Is it wrong that THIS is the first thing I thought of?

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TntcARPp1OE
>>
>>22483036

>That's a curious mental image you've given me.
>>
Goddamn obsessed fa/tg/uys. This story is gonna end with us on a volcano screaming at the bike, "You were the chosen one!"
>>
>>22483312
That's only if we do something wrong. If we do this right we'll be the on getting yelled at.
>>
I grab my coat as I wander towards the door.

"Going somewhere Malik?"

"Just needed to do some shopping." I tell Berserker with a nod.

"Be safe." He responds cheerfully as I walk out the door.

I make it across the bridge without any issues, and then check my phone for the time. Nine am. I've got at least three hours before I need to head home.

Now I just need to remember where I saw the store.

[DC13 Search check]
>>
Rolled 7

>>22483397
It begins.
>>
>>22483397
rollan
>>
Rolled 2

>>22483397
God, here we go again.
>>
Rolled 4

>>22483397
Motorcycle sense ACTIVATE!
>>
Rolled 18

>>22483397
ROLLINGU
>>
Rolled 17

>>22483397
Let's see what we find.
>>
Rolled 1

>>22483397

>Berserker and Ilya followed us home.

..... Wow, we suck at remembering things. While we look around, call Rin and tell her to take them to meet us at the Church.
>>
Rolled 4

>>22483410
>>22483417
>>22483423
HERE WE GO AGAIN GOD DAMMIT.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22483416
shit rerollan.
>>
Rolled 9

>>22483416
fucking hell rerollan
>>
>>22483416

The ONE time you don't have your dice on.

MOTORCYCLE!
>>
>>22483410
>>22483417
>>22483423
HURR DURR DURR DURF DURF DURF

This fucking bike man.
>>
File: 1357714234109.jpg-(166 KB, 1288x437, ss (2012-06-27 at 08.48.19).jpg)
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THAT FUCKING BIKE.
>>
Rolled 3

Man we have horrible luck when it comes to machines.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22483460
no its more of it glitched and wouldn't let me post.
then i saw my post up with no dice and went what the shit.
>>
File: 1357714310652.png-(80 KB, 223x262, IT BEGINS.png)
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OH BOY, HERE WE GO AGAIN
>>
>>22483410
>>22483416
>>22483417
>>22483426
Sexy faceless god of rolling cannot do anything if he's not in the first three.
>>22483464
We have THIS CHAIR and THIS ROUTER. Time for someone to make a THIS MOTORCYCLE image!
>>
>>22483397

[x] Run into Ayako Tiem!
>>
>>22483410
>>22483417
>>22483423
Hopefully this just means we wasted some time before finding it.
>>
>>22483496

Oh well, at least your luck seems to be gone. Chances are it wouldn't have saved us.
>>
Rolled 9

>>22483608
for now, doesn't mean it can't come back whenever it wants though.
lady luck has a hell of a way to troll everything though.
>>
I wander for almost an hour, before stopping.

I sigh and sit down on a bench to collect my thoughts. I know I passed it going to or from work that one time, so it should be near there.

I start to mentally tic off the various places I haven't yet been to when I hear a voice behind me. "This seat taken?"

"Huh? No, go ahead."

"Many thanks, Mongrel." The man responds sitting next to me.

I consider my situation for about three more seconds before what he said sinks in. And I turn, seeing one of the biggest threats of the war.

"Archer."

"Master of Saber." He responds with a respectful nod. "Actually, I suppose I should find something new to call you if that's no longer the case."

"Right...."

"Fix the bike yet?" I hesitate. "Oh no, Avenger let me onto your secret already. In retrospect, kind of hilarious."

"So you're not angry?"

"Livid." He responds in an even tone. "But honestly, I'm more disappointed in myself than upset with you. The damaged clothing should have tipped me off."

"Ah." I respond. "If it's any consolation, I only went for trying to outsmart you because I can't even imagine how bad my odds would be fighting you."

"That much is obvious." He frowns slightly, looking around. "No servants or fellow Masters? You went out so far from your home without any support? You've either remarkably stupid or brave to do so."

"In my experience, the difference between 'brilliant' and crazy' is measured in success."

"HA! I like that. So tell me, why are you here?"

>?
>>
>>22483635
"Looking for parts. It's a damn nice bike, but I swear the thing's trying to kill me. Y'know it lit me on fire last night?"
>>
>>22483635

"Looking for parts to fix the bike. Don't suppose you have any?"

Never hurts to ask.
>>
>>22483635
Looking for bike parts.

Simple conversation. Give him no reason to pull out the swords.
>>
>>22483635
This >>22483669
>>
>>22483635
"I'm trying to fix the bike you broke going up the stairs. I can't remember where the parts store I remember seeing once is. I can't fix it without parts."
>>
Rolled 20

>>22483635
tell the truth and hopefully he will only laugh at us and be on his way.
>>
>>22483635
Like you said, the bike
>>
Rolled 14

>>22483687
welp lucks back i think.
>>
>>22483635
...Aside from the whole "Rape Saber" thing, he's pretty bro this war.
>>22483669
THIS.
>>22483687
There goes a nat 20, down the drain... never to be seen again.
>>
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>>22483687
Stop that.
>>
>>22483635
"Shopping for bike parts, seems a shame not to fix something that nice. Bike apparently disagrees though, it tried to burn me to death last night."
>>
>>22483635
"Just taking a breather to get some shopping done. Food, maybe a mechanic's store for some parts for your crotch rocket. Damn thing set me on fire...If I have some time, maybe I'll stop and get my hair done nice. I'm sure you have some fantastic recommendations on that front. How about you? Out to seduce some woman on a whim?"
>>
Rolled 19

>>22483709
no.
>>
>>22483669

He doesn't like the bike either. We should ally against a common enemy!
>>
Rolled 13

>>22483706
>implying you can save 20's for rainy days unlike being able to grab them as they pass by.
>>
"At the moment? Looking for parts for that Bike." I sigh, "It's a damn fine bike, but I honestly think it's out to kill me."

"Oh really?" Archer asks, amused. "What makes you say that?"

"Damn thing set me on fire last night. Almost burned me to death when a passing god apparently took pity and almost drowned me saving my life."

"PfftHAHAHA!" Archer laughs, doubling over and wiping a tear from his eye. "How did you even manage that?"

"Honestly? I don't want to know. It's embarrassing enough as-is."

He continues to snicker at me for a couple of minutes. "So now what?"

"Assuming you don't try and kill me, I was going to keep looking for that store."

"Hmmm...." He looks at me. "I think you'd be more of a hassle than you're worth at the moment. Plus killing you now would only serve to infuriate Avenger and Saber. Highly counterproductive." He looks into the sky, thinking. "I believe the store I purchased it from was a few blocks North of the train station." He points. "I can't remember where exactly, but that should help you find it.

My phone rings, and Archer gives me a curious look. "Going to answer that?"

"Would you be terribly offended?"

"Nah, I was in the middle of deciding where to get Lunch." He responds with a wave as he looks over the river.

[ ] Answer Phone.
[ ] Ask Archer why he's being nice.
[ ] Ask Archer who he is.
>>
>I'm gonna sneak in a quick shower while you guys debate this.
>>
>>22483860
"I'd suggest the noodle shop at (Location)."

Answer the phone, quickly, and try to get it over quickly so we can keep on talking, ask him a few questions.
>>
>>22483860
Answer phone. Do not mention KinKaiser.
>>
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>>22483635
>Gilgamesh asking about sitting down
>Gilgamesh thanking a filthy mongrel
>Gilgamesh giving anyone a respectful nod
>Gilgamesh being forthcoming and acknowledging a failing of his

My god.
>>
>>22483860
[X] Ask Archer why he's being nice.
>>
>>22483860
[X] Invite Archer to lunch.

This can only end well.
>>
>>22483860

Phone, could be important.
>>
>>22483860
>[x] Answer Phone
Do NOT mention Archer. No need to start a midday brawl in the city. He's already said he doesn't want to kill us at the moment. He's too damn proud to lie like that.
>>
[ ] Answer Phone. walk away
[ ] Answer Phone. walk away

Don't look a gift Gil in the mouth. Just get on with our non-eviscerated lives...

oh, who am I kidding, we're gonna push it, aren't we?
>>
>>22483860
[x] Answer Phone.
[x] Invite Archer to lunch

This can only end well.
>>
>>22483860
>[ ] Answer Phone.
Never know when it's our next unscheduled life-or-death crisis. It's probably Rin , after someone reminds her how to use the phone, yelling at us for leaving without a Servant.
Archer won't answer who he is, and Kirei will tell Rin if we're really too fucking lazy to look up the oldest legends. We cna Archer why he's being so nice if he's still around after the call.
>>
>>22483860
>[ ] Answer Phone.
Shirou works at a restaurant, right? Because we should give Gil directions there.
>>
Rolled 7

>>22483879
>implying we didn't somehow break gil.

>>22483860
>gil is ok with us at the moment
i have this weird ass feeling we can actually get away with some sort of feel good ending where nobody dies if we are awesome enough.
>>
>>22483860
[x] Answer Phone.
>>
>>22483933
You think the Gods of Dice are REALLY going to allow that.

...REALLY?
>>
>>22483956

They might, so long as we don't try to ride the motorcycle into battle.
>>
Rolled 2

>>22483956
>implying we arn't doing massively shitty right now for the ultimate buildup of retardedly good rolls at the end game.
>>
>>22483956
We've been surprisingly lucky, excluding THIS BIKE and all things related to it.
>>
>>22483879
All quests are retarded mary sue bullshit like this
>>
Rolled 12

>>22483860
>[ ] Answer Phone.
this.
>>
>>22483879
"Oh, your name wouldn't be...Ciel, would it?"
Or was Arc the only one who could shapeshift like that?
>>
Rolled 8

>>22483956
Who knows, man? Shit's fickle.

>[ ] Answer Phone.
He did say he didn't mind. I kind of want to ask his opinion of the world now. He might let something slip about his identity.
>>
>>22483933
All Gil wants is Saber really. We could make this MUCH MUCH easier if we act as Gil's wingman to wooing Saber (While telling Saber to act like Alter to keep Gil under her control).
But I don't think the rest of /tg/ is willing to give Saber up. I wouldn't mind giving her up, only because Gil's not acting like an arrogant dick, and Saber wouldn't be killed off.
>siolvin all
It only solves some problems Captcha, but it's a start.
>>
>>22483860
>[ ] Answer Phone

Then, if we have enough time

>[ ] Invite Archer to lunch
Because if we can plant the idea that properly wooing Saber is preferable to RAPE-RAPE-RAPE, then we've eliminated our only (known) conflict of interest with him. Sure he's working with Avenger, but he doesn't seem particularly interested in it given how fast he flew off after Saber.
>>
>>22483989
No reason to think Ciel can do that.
Besides, if SHE wanted to spy on us, she could just do that whole "Don't question Ciel" thing she did to the entire school.
>>
>>22483989
>anyone in tsukihime shapeshifting
unless you count nrvsqr there is literally nobody who does that
>>
File: 1357716339907.jpg-(31 KB, 290x386, You Mad - Connery - Shome(...).jpg)
31 KB
>>22483976
>>
>>22484006
At this point I'm not even sure if Avenger is evil.
>>
File: 1357716384243.png-(162 KB, 247x550, Mitsuzuri Ayako.png)
162 KB
>>22484003
>I don't think the rest of /tg/ is willing to give Saber up
You make many assumptions. Some of us only want best girl.
>>
>>22483976
To be fair, at this point, every interaction with him has been comically bizarre. It's not out of the question at this point. If he was like this from that start it'd be more of a problem.
>>
>>22484031
He was never evil. Just bitter at being made into a scapegoat by his village.
>>
>>22484003
>I don't think the rest of /tg/ is willing to give Saber up.

Dude, we're practically DROWNING in bitches, and we've consistently chosen the options that don't involve talking to Saber.
>>
Rolled 14

>>22484045
so why can't we convince him that being the personification is retarded and is simply him doing what the village that hates him wants?
>>
>>22484037
Addendum: He could use a good splash of extra Snarky Asshole to bring him a little more in character.
>>
>>22484037
The quest is just really awfully written and made by a guy that doesn't have any clue about the source material
>>
>>22484031
It's going to turn out that Shirou was 'born' from Kiritsugu's wish to save someone after making Saber blast the Grail and Shirou's own desire to experience that same joy. No, probably not.
>>
>>22484056
Because almost every time we've interacted with him it's ended with violence. He only seems to show up when things go bad.

If we can find him again during some downtime we might be able to hold a civil conversation.
>>
>>22483860
>[ ] Invite Archer to lunch
Throwing a vote in for this because as >>22484003 and >>22484006 stated, it seems the only thing standing between Gil and the title of King of Bros is the way he runs around all rapey.
>>
>>22484003

We can offer him dating advice.

>>22484032

Yesss
>>
>>22484037
Stop.
Don't feed the troll.
Ignore him and he'll go away.
>>
>>22484073
>and the crap with the Grail War was for Shirou's own desire to experience that same joy.
Stupid hands.

>>22484071
You should know the procedure by now. Don't like it? Hide & move along.
>>
>>22484032
>>22484055
>>22484083
>>22484091
Alright then, Time for plan KinKaiser.
>>
>>22484103
BroKaiser, sorry. Plan BroKaiser.
>>
>>22483879
Oh my god...

Are we dealing with Prototype Archer or something?
>>
>>22483879
Maybe we remind him of Enkidu?
>>
>>22484248
That...seems possible. We'd have to talk to Saber about how he fought in the last war or get around to taking Rin to see Kirei one.
>>
>>22484265
More likely that we entertained him.
>>
>>22484275
>implying Enkidu didn't also "entertain" Gilgamesh
>>
File: 1357717975966.png-(252 KB, 250x547, Proto!Gil.png)
252 KB
>>22484248
Prototype Gil?
We can work with this. A noble Phantasm that destroys the world after 7 days is still safer than attempting to tank EA without Avalon.
>>
>>22484248
I would bet that the difference here is that he didn't get a face-full of evil goop at the end of the last War, and has been sustaining himself through some other means.

The impression I get is that he's not an evil dude necessarily, he just has the largest ego problem in the history of mankind.
>>
File: 1357718035061.jpg-(308 KB, 648x3000, Topmost Gun.jpg)
308 KB
>>22484281
>>
I pull out my phone. "Emiya."

"Shirou?" Rin's voice comes over the line. "Where the HELL are you?!"

"Uh... Shinto." I respond, wincing.

"And you just left? You didn't take a servant? Even KNOWING how screwed up this war is?"

"... Yeah, I guess I kinda did do that." I respond, weakly. I see Archer trying not to laugh at me as she begins a tirade about how stupid my actions are, and how she'll kill me if I get hurt. And how she might kill me anyway.

After I tell her that I won't be gone much longer she informs me that she's telling Sakura and Saber how stupid I was and then hanging up the phone.

At which point Archer begins to laugh his ass off. "What was that?"

"That was Rin, upset with me."

"You really just let the girl talk to you like that?" He looks at me equal parts disbelieving and amused. "I'm surprised you haven't decided to assert your dominance there."

"Seriously?" I ask him, trying to find words to put to how his advice makes me feel.

"Of course! You're supposed to be the man, so just tell her how things are going to be. And if she doesn't like it-" He mimes a spanking motion.

"And like that, I understand why Saber hates you." I say before realizing what was leaving my mouth.

Archer's demeanor changes abruptly. "You caught me in a good mood, Mongrel. Don't think I'll be too forgiving if you choose to speak to me in such a manner."
>>
File: 1357718198647.png-(478 KB, 799x601, Gil Status.png)
478 KB
>>22484306
Well yeah. That's basically canon.
>>
>>22484341

"Really?" I ask him, snark overwriting my survival instinct. "If this is you playing nice, I'm curious as to how bad your 'asshole' side gets."

He smiles dangerously at me. "You think you can get me with such childish taunts?" He lets out a dark chuckle. "You're insignificant. You're impotent and helpless to stop what's coming, and the only reason I chose to acknowledge you at all is a mix of pity and respect for Saber's bizarrely high opinion of you." He stands up. "But if you are incapable of showing your superiors proper respect, then I shall take my leave until you learn your place.... or I've been giving the opportunity to teach it to you."

I watch as he strides confidently away. I could probably take him down right now. He's not expecting it.

With the bow and a Lance like I did with Avenger, I doubt he could survive an unexpected attack.

I realize how simple it would be, and then I wonder why I can't move my body. All I can do is shake in fear and anticipation until well after he's left my sight.

[ ] Bike Shop.
[ ] Home.
>>
>>22484348
>[ ] Bike Shop.
Now we HAVE to fix that thing.
>>
>>22484341
>>22484348

That... wasn't exactly what I think we had in mind but eh.

[ ] Bike Shop.
>>
>>22484348
[x] Bike Shop.
>>
>>22484348
>[ ] Bike Shop.
>>
>>22484348
[X] Bike Shop.

Let's not waste our outing.
>>
>>22484341
>>22484348
Well, uh, okay. So much for the relaxed mood between them.

[x] Bike Shop.
We're already here. It was just a wasted trip if we accomplish nothing.
>>
>>22484377
>>22484366

>There are reasons for that. One of which is that you've gotten so many Rin points that Shirou tends to 'go off' slightly on people he perceives as insulting her.

>Seriously, I'm tempted to show you the relationship chart. It's fucking absurd some of it.
>>
>>22484415
I would kinda like to see that.
>>
File: 1357718731407.png-(640 KB, 799x597, Tohsaka Scheming.png)
640 KB
>>22484415
>you've gotten so many Rin points that Shirou tends to 'go off' slightly on people he perceives as insulting her.
Eentredasting.
>>
>>22484415
You can show it to us after the quest ends. That way we aren't tempted to metagame.
>>
>>22484415
Link it so so those who want to stay in the dark can do so. You should do the same for Shirou's character sheet. I desire enlightenment.
>>
>>22484415

I want.

I want to see it but I don't want to.

It'll break immersion so badly.

AC-Guy. Are there timestamps on it? Show it to us how it changed as we progressed through this quest when Shirou is finally Well Done.
>>
>>22484415
>Seriously, I'm tempted to show you the relationship chart. It's fucking absurd some of it.

I would like to see that. Cover up some stuff if you think it would spoil too much.
>>
>>22484449

NOOO.

I will not be able to resist its Siren Call.

Much like Spoilers in Molester Man threads.
>>
>>22484341
>"Of course! You're supposed to be the man, so just tell her how things are going to be. And if she doesn't like it-" He mimes a spanking motion.
>"And like that, I understand why Saber hates you." I say before realizing what was leaving my mouth.

Oh Shirou, implying you wouldn't like to spank Rin.
>>
>>22484444

Second. I'd like to see it eventually, but it can wait until the quest's over.
>>
>>22484415
Save it for the end. Giving out any more meta-knowledge than strictly necessary could cause us to do some derpy shit we wouldn't otherwise consider.
>>
>>22484415
>>22484415
I say to keep that chart a secret. You've already given us too much information. People are going to start blowing off Rin now because we're "ahead of the curve". If you reveal the whole chart, we're going to be going full metagame for the relationships. Give that kind of stuff when the campaign ends, or when it becomes irrelevant.
>>
I decide to try and get my trip to the Bike Shop over with, it being the one reason I even left home.

I wander in the direction Archer pointed me in, wondering if he'd lie about it just to fuck with me.

Then again, he did tell me before we managed to piss each other off.

[DC10 Search check]
>>
>>22484464
There's a BIG difference between getting a little freaky in the bedroom because Rin's a very kinky girl (the kind you don't take home to mother), and legitimately BEATING her.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22484487
FINDINGU FINDINGU
>>
Rolled 7

>>22484487

NAT 1
>>
Rolled 3

>>22484487
>>
Rolled 1

>>22484487
STORE BURNED DOWN. BIKE BROKE 5EVER.
>>
Rolled 2

>>22484487
Waha! Time for nat 1s and fire!
>>
Rolled 6

>>22484487
Rollan'
>>22484488
Would you say that she's the kind of girl you read about in new wave magazines?
>>
Rolled 4

>>22484487
TIME FOR ONES!
>>
Rolled 10

>>22484487
>>
Rolled 5

>>22484493
>>22484495
>>22484498
>>22484499
>>22484504
>>22484505
>>22484506
>>22484508

Seriously guys. WTF

This bike is cursed.
>>
Rolled 11

>>22484493
>>22484495
>>22484498
Holy shit we suck so much. This bike. This bike.
>>
>>22484493
>>22484495
>>22484498
>>22484499
>>22484504
>>22484505
Mother of shit.
>>
>>22484473
>>22484466
>>22484465
>>22484444
>>22484436

>Yeah, I wasn't planning on actually showing it to you. At LEAST until the quest's over.

>It's just I look at it every so often and think 'How'.
>>
>>22484512
THIS BIKE IS AN EYESORE
THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE THIS BIKE
>>
Rolled 9

>>22484520

Make sure you record how it changed.
>>
Rolled 12

>>22484512
>>22484514
Next 5 rolls will have a 20 somewhere. Damn near guaranteed.
>>
Rolled 16

>>22484538
You shut up. Stop being funny and coy.
>>
I spend another half an hour lost, wandering around, trying to find the store. Asking for directions seems to get me pointed in several different directions at once.

[ ] Keep looking.
[ ] Go home.
>>
Rolled 16

>>22484600

>[ ] Keep looking.
>>
>>22484600
[X] Keep looking.
>>
Rolled 12

>>22484600
[ ] Keep looking.
It will no doubt end up with us remaining out here after dark and easy prey for Avenger but FUCK YOU THIS BIKE WILL NOT CONQUER US
>>
>>22484600
[x] Keep looking.
"Why is this so haaaard."
>>
Rolled 8

>>22484600
KEEP LOOKING
NEVER GIVE UP
NEVER SURRENDER
>>
>>22484600
>[ ] Keep looking.
>>
>>22484600
You need to bother asking? How many relationship points we got on the bike?
>>
>>22484600
[X] Keep looking.

We're not going home until we get those parts. We'll stay here all night if we have to.
>>
>>22484600
[x] Keep looking.

After being tempered a bit the night before? No. We're going to fix this bike, mount that bitch, and show her who the boss is. And by that I mean either roll & get a Riding: A performance or wrap ourselves around a fuel pump at the nearest gas station and probably burst into flames again.
>>
>>22484628
Shirou love bike but bike hate Shirou.
>>
Rolled 3

>>22484639
Honestly, just get Saber to look at the damn thing. She rode a motorcycle in F/Z. Maybe she has some natural insight that won't need a roll.
>>
>>22484639
It's a Yandere bike. It wants to monopolize our love so much that it's actively trying to kill us.
>>
>>22484600
>[ ] Keep looking.

Thus bike is totally tsundere for us. This is just how it shows it's love.
>>
>>22484650

We've gotten it too many points on the relationship chart! We're in the shit now!
>>
>>22484650
Shirou. Shirou why are you looking at those other modes of transportation? You've been travelling other ways than me, haven't you? It's those whore legs of yours, isn't it?! Well I'll just have to CUT THEM OFF!
>>
I sigh. Rin's going to be SUPER pissed with me over this, but it'll only be worse if I completely fail in my one reason for upsetting her in the first place.

I shake my head and resolve to keep looking at least a little bit longer.

[DC 10 where the fuck is that store check]
>>
>>22484600
>[ ] Keep looking.
Bike or burst into flames.
>>
Rolled 17

>>22484666
ROLLINGU
>>
Rolled 13

>>22484666
I AM THE BANE OF MY DICE!
>>
Rolled 12

>>22484651
AC-Guy...you just wrote in a bike column on the chart, didn't you?
>>
Rolled 1

>>22484666
>>22484666
DICE!
>>
Rolled 18

>>22484666

FAIL
>>
Rolled 20

>>22484666
>>
Rolled 11

>>22484666
SLAMACOW!
>>
Rolled 17

>>22484666
L=R
>>
Rolled 8

>>22484666
FUCKING OH GOD ROLLLLLLLLLL
>>
>>22484683
HAHAHA FUCK YOU. I AM SO GLAD I ROLLED FOR ONCE AND CUT IN FRONT OF YOU.
>>
Rolled 10

>>22484666
ahahahaha we're so boned
>>
Rolled 9

>>22484683
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKK YYYYYYYOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 11

>>22484520

mfw I have no face if we have True Assassin points.

>>22484683

DODGED A BULLET THERE
>>
>>22484683
>>22484688

IT'S OKAY. THEY CANCEL OUT!

EVERYONE STOP ROLLING NOW!
>>
>>22484649
She has a high Ride skill. No more attachment to that bike than a Segway or a 747
>>
>>22484704
The Nat 1 didn't even count. Only the first three counted, which average out to 14. A rousing success, compared to most other things.
>>
>>22484520
After the quest is over, can we see all the other notes as well that don't spoil the sequel? I remember Kirei-sama at one point saying that we've tripped 80% of the traps, and I'm curious as to what events triggered what flags.
>>
>>22484708
>No more attachment to that bike than a Segway or a 747
>747
That's funny because, in Zero, she tells Irisviel that she could fly it once she was seated behind the controls.
>>
>>22484726
i think we tripped more then that.
personally my bet is we somehow got everyone to like us in a statistical impossibility.
>>
>>22484728

Yup, thas why I used mentioned it
>>
>>22484779
Oh, I ave no doubt we've tripped 99% of the traps by now. the last 1% were probably in the Issei route.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22484802

The last 1% TRAP is issei dressing like a girl.
>>
>>22484802
We'll trip every single trap if it means that more people live through the war.
>>
Rolled 2

>>22484818
except us is my guess
mind you we managed to fuck up SO hard that we got super regenerating powers, archer doesn't really hate us and we may somehow have a chance of avenger not being hyper fucking evil.
>>
>>22484844
I'm still not sold on the regeneration thing. I don't want us to end up charging in thinking along the lines of
>"Oh it's okay! We got this awesome regeneration thing that--"
>AC-GUY: You died. Quest over.
>>
>>22484889
Maybe it only triggers when we're half-dead.
>>
At a later encounter, if you want Gilgamesh to understand your reactions to his comments / suggestions, just say "These women are my Treasure. And no one is allowed to misuse my Treasure." He'll understand.

Now, fix that damn bike.
>>
I almost walk past it. There's no giant display window like I was expecting, instead a doorway and a discrete sign pointing inside a large display room.

As I look around, noticing price-tags, I realize I could live for a year on what one of these cost new. The store was probably hidden to try and prevent people like me from just wandering in off the street.

"Can I help you?" A Woman asks me, walking over.

"Uh, yes." I point at one of the bikes, "I recently acquired a bike second-hand."

"One of the racing models?"

I walk over and look at the model numbers. "This one actually. The problem is, the prior owner wasn't exactly... gentle. I was wondering where I could acquire some replacement parts?"

"Ah." The woman responds with a nod. "Hold on." She returns with a voucher for the store and an owners manual. "If you would prefer to fix it yourself instead of using the in-house maintenance, you can use this manual and parts catalog to order replacement parts through the store."

"I see. How much for the delivery?"

"Local?"

"Across the bridge."

"Delivery is free then, and should be next-day if we have it in our warehouse stock." She responds. "You can simply pay the parcel carrier when they deliver the packages."

"Convenient." I respond, and pay her the 5,000¥ for the two books.

I step outside, and look at my phone for the time. It's not quite eleven o'clock. If I ran home, Rin might assume I went back as soon as we spoke.
>>
>>22484999

Of course, I could grab something to try and avert her wrath.

[ ] Go home.
[ ] Get presents.
[ ] Other.
>>
>>22485006
Pick up ingredients and then head back. We want to be able to make a nice dinner later.
>>
>>22485006
[x] Get presents.
oh boy oh boy
>>
Rolled 1

>>22485006

We're across the river right?

PLUSHIE SHOP.

PLUSHIES FOR EVERYONE.
>>
>>22485006
>[ ] Get presents.
And by "presents" we mean the ingredients for the Manchu Han Imperial Feast.
>>
>>22485006
[X] Get presents.
[X] Buy some ingredients for a feast.

Appease their stomachs to appease their anger.
>>
>>22485006
>[ ] Get presents.
PRESENTS!

But fuck, we can't JUST get Rin something, everyone needs presents. What the HELL do we buy Rider?
>>
Rolled 15

>>22485028
fail.
>>22485006
acquire appeasement items expediently.
>>
>>22485006

>Go home.

Why did you even put 'presents' on the list?

Rin will make us eat our own testicles if we risk our lives to deliver a teddy-bear.
>>
>>22485006
I vote we only stop for toys if it's a given success, and won't take an inhuman amount of time to do. If we have to roll to find the store, or it takes more than another hour, I say we abandon the prospect. We're pushing ending up fucking dead at this point at night.

I'm really wanting to just go home.
>>
>>22485089
Wait, why would a plushie shop be open at this ungodly hour? Nothing is going to be open, this is a waste of time. Go home.
>>
>>22485109

It's, like, eleven am... Not especially ungodly.
>>
>>22485006
>"Don't be mad, while I was out, I thought that if I stayed out even longer and bought stuff for you, you wouldn't be mad!"

...That meant to come out as sarcastic, but the more I look at it, the more I realize that this isn't as stupid of an idea as I thought.
[ ] Get presents. Ingredients too if possible, or would that be pushing our luck and we end up getting ambushed by Avenger on the way home?
>>
>>22485089
Its not night. Its 11AM. Unless talking with Vampire Bitch and searching for the store took 8 hours somehow.
>>
>>22485109
It's morning, around 11 am.
>>22485006
[x] Plushie shop. Rin gets something like a very angry-looking plush T-rex.
>>
>>224851
It's 11 AM silly
>>
>>22485139
>>22485128
Oh. I thought it was 11pm. Never mind. I'm retarded.
>>
>>22485151
Its ok. It took me 10 threads to get the "everything happens at night forever" mentality out of my head.
>>
Rolled 8

>>22485139

And theres the:

Lion Plushie for Saber
Pegasi Plushie for Rider
>>
>>22485166
Oh lord. A pegasus or unicorn. Yes. YES.
>>
Rolled 2

>>22485166
and then we find a lion saber plushie.
turns out AC-guy has a sense of humor and everything goes carnival phantasm meta.
>>
>>22485166

What to get for Sakura? My troll logic tells me to get a Grail-kun plushie. Might as well get one for Ayako as well.
>>
>>22485194
Get Sakura a nice black turtleneck sweater. Heh. Or some hair bleach. Heheh.
>>
>>22485166
Dog for Lancer.
Tiger for Taiga.
Whatever we get for Issei it must have a very serious expression.
>>22485194
Ayako gets...
I honestly can't think of any animal fittingly trolltastic.
>>
>>22485207

Noo. Taiga can't get one.

Just so we can see her squirm and rage like a kid.

And Ilya gets a Car Plushie.

Because Berser Kar.
>>
Rolled 11

>>22485207
hippo in a tutu.
>>
>>22485214
For Issei or Ayako?
>>
>>22485218
Yes.
>>
>>22485218
I'd say for Issei.
Ayako's needs to be some sort of a joke about how she's suddenly stalking us.
>>
Rolled 19

>>22485218
haven't decided yet, however its so regoddamndiclously silly that it works for either one.
>>
>>22485225
Ninja cat of some kind?
>>
Okay, are we serious about getting plushies for every girl we could even remotely get in bed? This might take some time.
>>
>>22485225

Rider Plushie.
>>
>>22485250
>only the girls
>only the ones we could get in the sack
You're thinkin' smalltime. We get plushies for EVERYONE! Hell we even get one for Arc (a bat). When we eventually return to school we show up with a motherfuckin' santa sack full of plushies and start throwing them at people.
>>
Everyone gets a giant, person-sized plushie.

Saber gets a lion.
Rin gets a dolphin.
Sakura gets an octopus.
Rider gets a snake.
Ilya gets a gorilla.
Taiga gets a tiger.
Caster gets nothing, because she's an old hag.
And Arcueid gets a Shiki.
>>
>>22485257
That's fuckin' twisted.
DO EET!
>>
>>22485250
Yeah... let's settle for getting one for Rin and something for everyone else at a later date--
>>22485265
>>22485270
Do you guys think we're made of money?
now that I think about it, do we have any money if we're cooking for 10+ people at home?
>>
>>22485285
>Do you guys think we're made of money?

That reminds me, we should start charging rent.
>>
>>22485265
But what do we get for Caster and Souichirou?
And for Kirei?
>>
>>22485305
Kirei gets 10% of the cost of a plushie in tithing.
>>
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>>22485311
>>
>>22485305

A Rabu Rabu plushie for the couple.
>>
"Screw it. I'm already a dead man." I say with a sigh, resolving to hit the Market and get some food on the way home, I go to the mall.

I realize that I can't just grab something for Rin alone, so I decide to grab a little something for everyone.

I don't even try to fight it. On the way past a music store, I hear a song that I remember Sakura humming. After a few questions, I'm directed to the artist and I grab a couple of CDs.

I notice a stuffed animal store and end up grabbing a stuffed Pony for Rider. I also grab a stuffed tiger and a lion on the off chance they try and rope Taiga into the beating.

I notice a black cat with an irritated expression and a red-ribbon around it's neck. I grab it laughing, full well knowing Rin will take it badly. And do terrible things to me. Apparently I'm a masochist.

Luckily, there seems to be a sale on the stuffed animals. I grab a couple of sweet snacks in case I missed a possible antagonist, and an alchemy set for Rin to replace the one I broke.

I leave the store, and I take a shortcut through the park to reach the bridge faster. When I get there, I hear a soft whimpering coming from nearby.

[ ] Investigate.
[ ] Onwards to food.
>>
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And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how you derail a quest.
>>
>>22485357

>Nothing for Ayako

I am so sad.

[ ] Investigate.
>>
>>22485357
>I notice a black cat with an irritated expression and a red-ribbon around it's neck. I grab it laughing, full well knowing Rin will take it badly. And do terrible things to me. Apparently I'm a masochist.

Oh hi Len.
>>
>>22485357
[x] Investigate.
THE JUSTICE TRAIN HAS NO BRAKES
>>
>>22485357
[X] Investigate.
>>
>>22485357
Investigate. SOMEBODY NEEDS OUR HELP. IT'S TIME TO HERO!

>>22485369
Len has a black ribbon.
>>
>>22485357
>Apparently I'm a masochist.
Silly Shirou, you're definitely a masochist.
>[ ] Investigate.
THIS CANNOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG!
>>
>>22485357
[x] Investigate.
How is this even a choice?
>>
>>22485364


And nothing for Imouto either.

She is going to fuss so much.
>>
You pulled this trick twice in AC Quest, AC Guy! Do you really think I'll fall for it a third time?

...[x] Investigate
>>
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>>22485357
'Danger' is our middle name. Emiya Danger Shirou.
>>
I wander closer to the noise, and look around. After a minute, I see something small moving.

A Shiba pup. No collar, and it can't be much older than weaned.

Looking around I quickly realize what happened. someone set a cardboard box to give away unwanted pups, and this one apparently slipped out somehow and was overlooked.

I look around to see what became of the dog while I was investigating, and see it poking around in a rough circle away from the box. It's probably looking for it's siblings.

>What do?
>>
>>22485357
>[ ] Investigate.
Oh boy! A chance to be the Hero we've always wanted to be! inb4 it's one of Avenger's beasts lulling us into a false sense of security before it eats us.
>>
>>22485428

TAKE IT HOME

ALL OF THEM
>>
>>22485428
Adoption HOOOOO!
>>
>>22485428
ADOPT THE FUCK OUT OF THAT PUPPY!
Shiba Inus are awesome!
>>
>>22485428
We are Now Emiya Shirou and our hounds of Heck
>>
>>22485428
Take it home. Duh.
>>
I got a bad feeling about that dog, guys. A cute abandoned puppy just happens to be there, and no roll was required for us to find it? It's got to be a trap.
>>
>>22485468
...And your point?
>>
>>22485428
Ohmuhgawd

Acquire puppy.

"Hey guys! I left to get replacement parts for the bike, but I ended up getting stuffed animals and a puppy!"
>>
>>22485482
my point is that it's either going to attack us, or wait until we get home and attack one of the girls.
>>
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>>22485428
There is only one thing we can do.
It's gonna get taken home with us.
>>
>>22485428
This is such a trap. It smells like a trap. This thing must be a familiar. We should, at most, take it back and have Rin check.
>>
>>22485431
>>22485468
>>22485493
>>22485495
But guys.
Guys.
Guys.
It's a Shiba.
Shibas CAN'T be evil.
It's, like, a law of the universe.
>>
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>>22485428
Aw hell yeah
>>
>>22485495
Better yet, meet Rin somewhere else, and have it checked. Do not bring that thing into or near our damn house. This is exactly the right time to be paranoid.
>>
>>22485508
Okay, but when the cute adorable puppy is eating Rins face off, don't say I didn't warn you.
>>
>>22485530

Don't you get it?

This is our SHIELD against the rampaging sharks!
>>
Ok....fine... we'll have Rin give it a checkup before we bring it into the house.


Oh god....the poor puppy's "holy fuck what is this" dog senses are going to go off when it sees Arcueid. If there is one thing you can count on dogs for, its to sniff out the undead.
>>
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>>22485428
[x] Take it home.
It's a cute puppy and not some sort of horrible polimorphed monster. What could possibly go wrong?
>>
>>22485571
Very true.

I say we name him 'Nezumi'.
>>
>>22485587
Oh god yes. I love you.
>>
I sigh, and shake my head. I can't leave a pup here and HOPE it'll be fine.

Not when I can use an adorable meat-shield back home.

It takes me a minute to get it to trust me, but it seems plenty content to snuggle into my coat as I jog home.

I make a stop in the market, and grab groceries to replenish depleting stocks as well as ingredients for dinner.

I open the door and manage to get "I'm ho-" out before being confronted but an upset wall of Estrogen.

Rin followed through on her promise of grabbing Saber and her sister, and they've apparently been joined by Taiga, rider, and Ilya.

"Alright, before you guys kill me, I'm carrying like a CRATE of egg and a puppy. I would like to put those down first."

"Do you have ANY idea how reckless just going out like that was?" Rin begins, arms crossed.

"In retrospect, yes. Not my best move."

"Really now." Rin comments, giving me a level glare. "So then you're going to just apologize?"

"Yark!" comments the pup as he pokes his head out of my coat.

"You speak wisdom little friend. This is why I brought food and gifts instead of excuses."

Rider's expression changes to slightly bemused. Sakura and Saber seem more concerned than upset. Taiga is giving me a disappointed stare.

Ilya however, seems to have had her brain short-circuited by the presence of a cute puppy. She lets off a giddy quiet squeal that quickly transcends the range of human hearing.

"You think a few gifts are just going to cut it?" Rin asks.
>>
>>22485641

In response, I draw out the stuffed cat I found at the store and hand it to Rin with the most serious expression I can manage.

She gives it an incredulous glare, which she turns back to me. And then to Taiga when she starts cracking up.

I let Ilya take the puppy to hold while I slip past the distracted Rin and into the kitchen to put away ingredients.

I show Taiga the stuffed Tiger and Lion and she gets a chuckle out of them as well. Saber quietly lays claim to the Lion when she thinks nobody's looking and take it to her room.

Sakura seemed shocked and slightly embarrassed by her gift, thanking me profusely for them and attempting to hide them from curious onlookers.

Rin finally catches up to me, angry. "Really?" She asks, holding up the cat. It's a testament of my will and respect for Rin that I don't laugh at their identical expressions.

"I'll be honest, I saw it and couldn't help myself." I respond, before opening another bag and handing her the alchemy kit. "THIS is what I was really getting you. Since I broke your old one."

She blinks at the collections of vials and such before looking back at me. She knows EXACTLY what they cost. "You didn't-"

"I kinda broke your old one." I respond with a shrug. "It's not like it pulling double-duty as an apology made it cost more."
>>
>>22485643

She looks back at the box, and gives the stuffed cat an irritated glance as the tension finally drains out of her. "Just promise you won't wander off like that again."

[ ] Sure.
[ ] I'll tell you.
[ ] I promise nothing.
[ ] Distract her from topic.
>>
>>22485647
[X] I'll tell you.
More specifically "I'll try to tell you before I wander off like that again."
>>
>>22485647

>[ ] Distract her from topic.

With the intention of >[ ] I promise nothing.

MANCHU HAN IMPERIAL FEAST
>>
>>22485647
>[ ] Distract her from topic.
So Rin, are you at all familiar with the Manchu Han Imperial Feast?
>>
>>22485647
[x] Sure.
We dun goofed.
>>
>>22485688
>>22485668
Distracting her will just make her angry. She's onto us and our games.
>>
>>22485647
[x] Distract her from topic.

With... um... hm... a question about Souichirou?
>>
>>22485647
[x] Distract her from topic
Let's get cooking!
>>
>>22485647
>[ ] I'll tell you.
>>
>>22485695

Not if we tell her we'll beat her...

AT CHINESE COOKING

She cannot fail to rise to that bait.
>>
>>22485647
[x] Have her check out the puppy.

I'm still suspicious about that damn dog.
>>
>>22485647
[X] I'll tell you.

Then show her the adorable puppy and have her see if there's anything hinky going on with it.
>>
>>22485668
>>22485688

>You want to make a three hundred dish banquet to be eaten over the course of 3-4 days made out of exotic ingredients coming from endangered animals with a price-tag of almost a million dollars.

>When you're canonically terrible with Chinese food.

>In the middle of a war.

>I thought you guys were joking
>>
>>22485716
>I thought you guys were joking
You underestimate my commitment to this task.
Yeah no, I'm kidding.
>>
>>22485716

Shirou style of course.

Enough to fill the table and then some.
>>
>>22485716
Nothing that the nat 20s we get when we usually cook can't solve. I expect nothing less than three nat 1s if we attempt this.
>>
>>22485716
We shouldn't try to make that. We should make a nice meal that is in our capabilities and that everyone will enjoy.
>>
>>22485716
Anyone stupid enough to really attempt the feast is a moron. I vote we have the dog checked for tracing or being a familiar
>>
>>22485716
Shirou is the ultimate Faker. What's to say he couldn't whip up a few substitutions that would taste just as good?

So, Manchu Han Imperial Feast (Fake)?
>>
>>22485766

Something like that.

But we keep saying that name because we want that type of reaction.

Also Rider has not laid claim to cute pegasi plushie.

I wonder why?
>>
>>22485647
I promise nothing but home cooked food
>>
>>22485788
If Rider hasn't claimed her plushie by the time we're done taking with Rin, then we need to make a point of giving it to her.
>>
>>22485850
She's not here right now, remember?
>>
I sigh, knowing she has a point. "Yeah, I should've at least said something." I respond, looking at her. "I'm not going to promise to never do anything reckless, but I'll be sure to give you heads up at least."

She gives me a critical look and sighs. "I suppose I'll have to settle for that."

"Yeah." I hesitate. "Mind checking out that dog real quick? I mean, it looked healthy but I'd rather make sure we weren't sitting on a magical time-bomb."

Rin takes the dog from Ilya who walks up to me. "Can we keep him Onii-chan?"

"Nah, I was gonna take him down to the pound after lunch." I respond, watching as Ilya expression turns from exuberant to horrified. Which is when Rin smacks me in the back of the head and hands it back to Ilya. "Ow, yes, we're keeping the dog. that was a joke."

Ilya beams at me and takes the dog into the yard. Rin give me a look. "That was mean."

"I thought it would be obvious that I was joking" I respond defensively. "Apparently I suck at sarcasm."

Rin shakes her head. "Anyway, Dog's fine. Well, magically anyway. I'm not a vet."

"Good enough for now." I tell her as I finish packing away the groceries.

Sakura has apparently laid claim to lunch, so I work on-

[ ] Bike
[ ] Magic
[ ] Swords
[ ] Family

>>22485788
>>22485850

>Apparently I skipped a line when cop+pasting from word.

>[Rider seems genuinely surprised I got her something as well while I dig through my goody-bag. She smirks when she sees it's a plush horse and gives me an amused thanks.]
>>
>>22485909
[X] Family

Let's get some family time in with Ilya. We're not being a good big brother.
>>
>>22485909
Throne of swords.
>>
>>22485909
[x] Swords
SEIBAH TIME
>>
>>22485909
>[ ] Family
Need to spend more time with our baby sister.
>dog's fine
I told you guys Shibas couldn't be evil.
>>
>>22485909
[ ] Fa--
...Thing are too peaceful this thread.
Yes, we bumped into KinKaiser, but that could have been much worse.
I'm expecting the worst.
[ ] Swords
>>
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>>22485909
[ ] Family for one brief moment let us do something that is far less likely to get us killed by dice
>>
[X] Swords
[X] Family
Ask Ilya to come cheer for us while we spar with Saber. In fact, ask her to cheer for both of us.
>>
>>22485909
>[ ] Family

Adorable little sister time!
Oh, and puppy naming!
>>
>What's winning? My computer's flipping out every-time I try and scroll up and down the page.
>>
>>22486042
Family
>>22485943
>>22485929
>>22485914
>>22485971
Swords:
>>22485937
>>22485928
Sword Throne:
>>22485919
Both family and swords:
>>22485962
>>
>>22486042
Family winning at 5
Swords a close second at 4
>>
[X]Family
Adorable little sister is adorable.
Also: Name Thy Mongrel.
>>
>>22486089

Cat.
>>
>>22486089
>Name Thy Mongrel
Rabbit.
>>
>>22486100

>name the dog cat

Is that some railgun reference?
>>
>>22486089
KinKaiser
>>
>>22486136
How about schrodinger then?
>>
>>22486089
Apophis
>>
I see Ilya playing fetch with the puppy, and watch them run back and forth for a minute. I walk up to her. "Thought of a name yet?"

"Eh? No, not yet. Haven't given it any thought actually."

I bring thee pup some food in a small bowl and talk to Ilya while he eats.

"I hate to bring this up, but I don't think you've been entirely honest with me." I tell her, leaning over and looking at her.

"....What do you mean, Onii-chan?"

"Just that I've been doing some thinking. Along comes this girl who refers to me as her brother, and tells me she's lonely. Saber tells me that my dad married into the Einzbern family. Rin tells me they're from Germany and my dad made a lot of trips to Europe on business he refused to tell me about."

Ilya stares at the ground, several feet away. ".... He came back?"

"You could have told me." I tell her gently, placing an arm over her shoulder. "I would never have turned you away, even if you weren't family."

Ilya looks at the sky, and I can see tears welling up slightly. "He came back. He tried to come back and...." She shakes her head. "They told me he never...."

>What say?
>>
>>22486191
Shh. No words now. Only hugs.
>>
>>22486191
Hug her, do not say anything yet.
>>
>>22486191
hug
>>
>>22486191
Hug
>>
>>22486191
"I don't know much about how the Einzberns work, but I really doubt the would have done such a thing out of malice. They probably had a reason, and even if it were one I wouldn't agree with, they probably thought it was for the best.
People do a lot of stupid things in the name of love."
>>
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>>22486191
Hold her tight, thats all we can do for now
>>
>>22486191
Give her a hug. Let her cry it out for a bit. Tell her it's alright and pat her on the back.

Once she's calmed down a bit.
"Of course he tried to come back for you. Our Father isn't the type who would willingly abandon his daughter.

I wish I had a chance to meet our Mother. I would have liked to have known her and you more.

I have a deal for you Ilya, you tell me everything you remember about Mother and Father before they kept you from him and I'll tell you everything about Father from when I was with him.

I wish we could have all been a family together, but this is as close as we can get."
>>
AC-Guy just got fucked by the banhammer.

Dammit moot.
>>
>>22486362
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL SHIT
>>
>>22486362
What the fuck.
This quest is cursed.
THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST. THIS QUEST.
>>
>>22486389
Not the quest, just AC-Guy.
>>
>>22486404
>Person that suggested F/SN: hard mode first thread quits from trolling
>Kirei-Sama takes over, and fucks off part way through thread 4.
>AC-guy's friend helps out when AC-guy can't do this. Grandfather gets heart Attack.
Yeah, it's not just AC-guy who's cursed here.
>>
>>22486443
...Fair enough.
>>
>Ban filters tripped, Ac-guy's gonna wrap it up Via proxy. Expect only a couple more posts this thread.

I don't say anything, I don't think there's anything to be said. I grab Ilya, and pull her it a hug. She starts crying moments later and I hold her while she lets it out.

Almost ten years since she's seen her father, and assumed she was simply abandoned. There's a lot of sad to get out of her system.

We stay there for almost ten minutes before she starts feeling better. "Sorry Onii-chan. I didn't-"

"No. don't apologize, you've done nothing to be sorry for." I tell her, giving her a squeeze. "Maybe you didn't know, but he tried to come back for you. If I knew you existed before now I would've tried too."

She smiles at me. "Really?"

"Really." I tell her. "I'll tell you what, I never got to meet our mom. How about you tell me about her and Dad when you knew him, and I'll tell you about what he was like with me. I wish there was some way we could've been together like a real family, but this might be the best we're gonna get. We should make the most of it."

Ilya tells me that we should set some time aside for that, and Sakura calls us for Lunch.

I help her clean the tears away, and the two of us join the others at the table. Lancer arrives, followed by Arcueid shortly after. I make introductions, and we start talking strategy.

[ ] Ask Rider what she found.
[ ] Ask Lancer what he and his Master know.
[ ] Ask Arcueid if she's noticed anything odd.
[ ] Ask for Dog names.
>>
>>22486473
>[ ] Ask Rider what she found.
We like her most, so she gets to talk first.
>>
>>22486473
[x] Ask for Dog names.
Vampires? Nah, dog names are more important.
>>
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>>22486489
>We like Rider most
Speak for yourself, man. White Princess is mai waifu.
>>
>>22486473
Yay, the day is saved. Fucking filter.

>[ ] Ask Rider what she found.
>>
>>22486473
[X] Ask Rider what she found.

It's more important than the dog name, and we should confirm its gender before we pick a name. I'm thinking Maiya if it's female, Kiritsugu if it's male.
>>
>>22486473
My only opinion on this is anything but asking about dog names. It looks like asking Rider is winning 4-1 anyway.
>>
>Fucking christ, Sean just got banned too. None of my other proxies are online, sadly. We may have to call it a tread.

This goddamn Quest.
>>
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>>22486473
[x] Rider what she found.
>>22486504
Fine taste.
Look at that swag, enough for an entire planet.
>>
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>>22486578
>>
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>>22486578
>>
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>>22486578
>>
>>22486578

AC-GUY.

Why not make a picture post of the text on your Twitter.

We'll repost it here.
>>
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>>22486676
Then YOU'LL get banned.
>>
>>22486692
>Implying I give a fuck
>>
>>22486692
What about pastebin? IIRC that's been used before in this quest when both AC-guy and Kirei-sama were banned.
>>
>>22486692

Repost the picture, you fool.

Not the text.
>>
Actually, considering it's 3:30 am in AC-Guy's time zone, he must be pretty tired and he probably needs to go to sleep soon.
Either that, or he's going to play Far Cry.
>>
>>22486738
Or he's already asleep. Or on fire. Or both, at the same time.
>>
Fuck, I just got back too. This quest, man.

(I vote we name the dog Lancer)
>>
Thread's over, already archived.
Goodnight everybody.
>>
titty sprinkles



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