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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Can we have a real-life random encounters thread? It's been so long since I've seen one
One day I was riding on the tube and this black guy started preaching. Then he started tap dancing until the next stop and got off.
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>walking home late at night
>see a dude in the center of an empty crossroads
>pants and underwear pulled all the way down
>arms raised all the way up, clenched fists
>he urinates vigorously all over the road
>he starts to laugh really fucking loud
>my face when
>Walking around down-town Dublin with my sweetheart
>Irish dude grabs my arm
>He is drunk. As fuck. Draped in the irish flag and naked from the waist up.
>"Oh, you're british aint yeah?"
>"I fucking LOVE THE BRITISH!"
>His friend screams 50 feet off "Its not worth it man, don't do it!"
>To which I reply "Nah mate, I'm Canadian. Is that better?" Idly shifting my weight to my rear leg, ready to dislocate his knee cap (so I tell myself)
>"Oh, you are Canadian eh? I FUCK LOVE CANADIANS!"
>"Good thing too, because I FUCKING HATE the british"
>He tips his non-existent cap and wishes me and my lass on a merry day and totters down the street, his friend rushing up to him.

We continue our walk, I don't come down from the adrenaline until we are back home 2 months later.
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>riding the train into town
>get off at my stop
>look to my right
>a shirtless black man with vegeta hair
>he is very serious and just gives me a death glare
Oh hey there. I really love Canadians.
>Waiting for train
>It arrives, doors open, and I see a group of tallest and fattest men I have ever seen get off the train

What makes this moment noteworthy is that the moment I noticed them, this song came up on the shuffle of my music player

Walking home from school through a path through the woods. It was barely dusk, and I hear someone behind me, trying to match my footsteps. I turn around, and there is a guy wearing full green rain gear and poncho, he has black aviators on. He is stopped like forty feet behind me when I look at him. I slowly pull out my pocket knife, and just hold it in my hand as I turn back to start briskly walking away. Never saw the strange man again.
Missed our train in France. Forced to sleep outside train station with hobo's. They're cool. Its pouring rain. Absolutely sheeting down outside our overhang.

Girlfriend naps on my lap, I idly amuse myself with the meagre battery power remaining on the phone.

Couple of natives come around and start yelling at the hobo's. I don't speak french. I get ready to throw my girlfriend off and launch myself at them if they make a threatening move our way.

The hobo's wave them away, they start gibbering at me. I don't understand it, I flick my eyes to either one of them. Obviously intoxicated, one heavy set and the other lean, like a swimmer. I'm a skinny fuck but if I get the first shot in I can do this, I can protect u-

>Girlfriend wakes up
>Talks to them in French, they both look at each other, high five and start talking in broken english.

They wanted to know if we needed anything, blankets, food, a coffee?

They are excited to meet two foreign travellers. They stop and chat for the next 2 hours. I speak to ones girlfriend in British Columbia. I accidentally hang up on her. They sign my journal and eventually head out with the rising sun.

>It all went better than expected
Thats what I hear europe.
Missed our train again. Forced to sleep outside in Valencia. Spanish man walks up, drunk as fuck and starts telling us how beautiful we are, like a shining star, that our love will stand the test of time should and that we were so lucky.

I think. My girlfriend tried to translate but this guy may have been having a stroke at the same time he was slurring so much.

Anyway, after crying a little in front of us on our stoop he wanders away.

Why the fuck do all my europe stories involve drunk people?
real life creeper. Lucky you did not blow up


captcha: fide deflida
>Meet friend in London
>Having tea&scones in teahouse as befitting gentlemen of our kind
>Short Hindu\Gypsy\idek (?) woman sitting behind me
>Eating a steak
>In a teahouse
>It's 3.00 bongbong
>She finishes her meal and turns to me, asks something
>ohgodimforeign.jpg, can't understand anything she says
>Friend must have higher Diplomacy scores because they answer her query
>She is satisfied
>"I wish on you both a peaceful night, a cherished friendship, and a long life. May you always find a shelter from the storm, and a light in the darkness"
>She leaves
>I ask friend what she wanted
>"I dunno mate, I just told her to go to M&S"
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This right here is why I always keep a short bat in my backpack that I can pull out any second and a screwdriver in my pocket.
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>Going through Spain on a bus
>Bus stops, refuel and everyone gets off
>Go to the vending machines
>Wake up, head is splitting
>Nighttime, in a car, woman I don't know driving in the middle of nowhere

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>walking with a screwdriver in your pocket
My nigga!
Go on.
>Go hunting in swedish woods
>looking for juicy birds
>hear noises in shrubbery
>be wevy wevy qwuiet
>orcs come out of bushes
>don't see me in my hiding spot, move on
>what the hell just happened?
>Orcs come running back, shouting and followed by a bunch of dudes in armour
>move deeper into woods to not disturb them

"Observe: the Larper in its natural habitat."
>where larpers are larping
Oh god... Someone needs to contact the wildlife preserve AND the larp group. Shit could've gone wrong.
Yeah, there's usually these orange flags on trees surrounding the larp areas, but I must have missed it.
>Driving home from game heading from the city to the burbs
>See child ridding bike at 3am
>Look closer it is miget on bike with a pink helmet
>Sees me staring
>Throws 40 at my car
>"Fuck you I am drunk"
>I stare in awe

I fucking lost it.
"Larpers are usually solitary creatures that gather in large packs for a short period of time every year. For most normal breeds of larper this time is spent socializing fighting and occasionally mating, the exception being the swedish breed which will sometimes all pile together in a huge orgy"
Throws 40?
>trying to get to class on time
>miss bus
>stand around waiting for next bus
>definitely gonna be late
>only other person at the bus stop is a very "ghetto" acting black woman
>try to ignore her while practicing presentation in my head
>suddenly an expensive-looking red sports car pulls up
>door opens
>the driver is a monk
>black girl automatically gets inside as if it were the most natural thing to do
>turns back to me
>"Y'all gettin' in or wut?"
I'm guessing a bottle?
>freshman year of college
>first night in the dorm
>not used to being surrounded by faggots blasting shitty music, thus having trouble sleeping
>hear people talking in the hallway, don't seem to be leaving
>go to door, look out through peephole
>two girls in hallway, standing about eight feet away because weird shaped hall
>one of them turns around, stares, and points right the fuck at me
>heart stops
>they leave, I collapse into bed
>later find out they were just pointing at the door number below the peephole because they knew my roommate

The first few weeks of my freshman year were basically all shit like this.
>the call to adventure
a forty ounce nigga
I was a random encounter.

>go to screenwriting recitation
>didn't notice I was in wrong one
>proceed to comment on every script read
Throws a 40*
as in a bagged glass alcohol container.
>top deck of double decker, coming home from college
>bus is also used by local secondary school
>can hear kids at the back of the bus goading another kid to do something, can't tell what
>as I recall, it goes "fuck it."
>kid runs up and down the aisle of the top deck, screaming, with his trousers around his ankles
>barely any reaction from the people on the quite full bus (I myself stifled my childish giggles)

I love you Britain. Never change.
Once I was done playing D&D with some friends and was waiting for the bus home in the evening a car pulled over and the guy driving said I could jump in.
I did not have my glasses on so I could not see what he looked like, but anyways, I was like 16-17 at the time but I have always looked way younger than what I am so I figured he was a pedo and refused him.
Please tell us about the adventure after you got in.
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Turned out I got mugged (hit from behind, at the bus stop), and this lady found me, long after the buses had left. She dragged me in her car, and took me back to her parents' place. I woke up in the car and flipped out, but she managed to call someone who could speak English and explain the situation.

Story didn't end like Hostel or something, if that's what you were expecting. If anything though, it was definitely random.
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>Meet up with friends downtown
>All go back to some girl's house, I don't know why
>I am inebriated
>"Hey Anon are you coming to the party?"
>Wander around, finally find the place
>No one else is there yet, buzz wearing off, this sucks
>Kid in Portugal shirt shows up
>Awesome, start talking to him in Portuguese
>He is deaf.
>However, he has moonshine!
>Proceed to learn how to say "porch monkey" in ASL
>Black out, wake up at home
>Accused the next day in class of bestowing nicknames upon everyone at the party

Such is life in small-town colleges.
...Was she hot?
For the record I did get in and directed him to my campus. It turns out he really was a monk, but I never got an explanation for the car. The one who was a stranger here was me, as the woman actually knew the monk from a previous time he helped her. I can't remember much else except that the woman was more intellectual than she sounded and looked and that the monk was heading north
>Barcelona, 3 or 4 years ago.
>Subway, line 1, heading towards Arc de Triomf
>Suddenly group of Shaolin monks get into the same wagon I am.
>My cell phone starts to play this song:
>Hope they doesn't talk or understand Spanish
>The elder monk does gaze of disapproval

I know that some places have weird ass pseudo busses that are just citizens giving rides.
He did get in.
Aaaaand I'm retarded. Apologies.

Sage for not contributing.
Were they on the way to pick up a soldier so they could go on an adventure?
Great jumping rattlesnakes of the west indies! That's a cleric and a rogue!

I know enough Spanish to be entertained by this
>Be bowling with me and my friends

>Stay until closing which was around midnight

>As we're leaving I notice from the corner of my eye a guy in skinny jeans sprinting in our direction

>Drive out of the parking lot, guy starts sprinting even faster

>Notice he's looking right at us

>Make a Uturn

>Guy turns around and sprints after us

>Catches us at light

>Ask him what he wants

>Apologizes and says he thought we were someone else

>Runs off in the opposite direction

She was certainly pretty, sure. She was engaged though, to the guy on the phone.
>walking downtown with broseph
>Walking across footpath bridge across highway
>run into some random smelly drunk
>Asks us to stop and talk for a bit
>might be cool
>Starts trying to ask us what's the point of it all. "We're all fucked, right? Why not just kill yourself now?"
>Assures us that he's been all over the world and they're all equally fucked
>Disagree politely, mildly worried that this guy is going to attempt to kill himself and/or us. He's making noise on the topic.
>Decides we're the wisest, most knowledgeable people he's ever met.
>Tries to convince us to go to school on monday and shoot the place up so that we can learn from the teachers better
>Broseph explains that being a student, he isn't interested in shooting himself up.
>Asks us why we want to learn from teachers because we're obviously much wiser and more knowledgeable than them, in his own oh-so-authoritative opinion.
>Starts propositioning us for gay sex.
> Randomly starts swearing at us as we depart.

While that was the weirdest, that was actually only the second most entertaining this week.
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I was a random encounter the other day

>at the mall
>dressed myself in a hurry that day that day so I'm kind of rocking wizard-chic with a harry potter scarf, tacky long coat, tiny glasses, giant shoulder bag full of books, carving-handled umbrella and wild moustache
>find a quarter on the ground next to some toy dispensing machines
>figure "sure why not"
>get a cheap plastic dragon keychain complete with fake rubies and glitter
>10 minutes later
>realize I can't find the store I'm looking for
>see a nerdy kid on a bench reading a fantasy novel and ask him where it is
>he tells me and I thank him
>pause, think
>reach into my pocket and pull out keychain, hand it to him
>"Take this. It's not much, but it might prove useful someday."
>turn and march off in the wrong direction
What was the MOST entertaining, then?

Warrior Clown or something like that
You sir, are a kind and glorious wizard.

Betcha anything that kid is going to grow up believing magic is real.
>in music store (not albums, it had instruments and gear like mics and DJ equipment)
>browsing around without really paying attention
>about to leave but hear someone call out to me
>turn around
>black guy with dreadlocks is the only person there
>"Hey, come here."
>cluelessly follow him into keyboard room
>it's a dim room lit only by the keyboard lights
>"I want you to listen to this."
>he starts playing
>it's the best goddamn keyboard playing i ever heard
>tell him exactly that
>"You really think so? That means a lot to me, thanks."
>start asking him how long it took him to get that good
>hear a noise behind me
>it's the store manager who's asking if I need help
>"no I'm good, I was just listening to this gu-"
>keyboard player is nowhere to be seen
>there was only one way to leave the room and it was the same way the manager came through
Sounds like you derailed that kids life. I like you.
>Be in middle school
>Taking the city bus home with all the other kids because seriously, fuck school buses
>Pouring rain, some of us are really hyper because of it
>Homeless dude gets on, starts talking to us
>He's cool, just idle chat
>Biker dude gets on
>Not like Hell's Angels, Tour De France
>Fucking biker shorts and all
>Goes to the back of the bus
>We're a little loud
>Homeless dude stands up.
>I really did not notice how fucking big he was before
>"-YOU- shut the fuck up, you aren't even supposed to be on the phone on the bus."
>Starts moving back.
>Have to get off at my stop
>Coming home from weekend larp event, need to drive through back road Mississippi to get to the interstate.
>No street signs, get lost due to fatigue and no cell phone power
> Dirt road leads to dirt road.
>See a gate open and a new car parked a bit on the property
> Get out, not realizing I have green paint still smeared on my arms/face
> Old lady approaches me and speaks in very broken english.
> After a bit of a scare with a shotgun being pointed at the ground I succeed on my diplomacy check.
>She demands that I come in for sweat tea.
>Go into her house, lots of oddities like disfigured cow fetuses in jars, bunch of spices and pressed flowers I don't recognize.
>She is very cold at first but after asking where my family was from and me telling her that my grandfather was from Lithuanian she warms up immensely.
>Calls her granddaughter down, really cute girl, and the three of us talk about God knows what for hours.
>Old lady reads bones for me
>Get Lizzy's, the granddaughters, number and directions and leave.
>everything turned out better then expected
>go see a friend dj
>nobody else I know is there
>I can let myself loose on the dance floor.
>suddenly tall guy boogies over
>he asks "are you a murderer."
>"er... no."
>"Then I consider you nothing" (or something like that it was fairly loud.) walks off
>Later he reappears "I walked to Spain once" he then walks away again
>people I know have arrived hang out with them. I go to the bar, he comes up behind me.
>"if anything happened would you trust that I could protect you"
>I have no fucking clue what to say or do for a moment till I manage a stutter "you look like a fit enough guy".
>nods "I'll keep watch” and then goes and crouches behind a table
>Walking down street in San Diego with bro
>we are heading to some burger joint
>wearing a Ranger t-shirt
>some crazy spots me and my shirt
>stares hard before shouting his rendition of I WANNA BE AN ARMY RANGER
>as we walk past him we can hear him still singing it from a distance, at the top of his lungs
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>Walking through park in Budapest
>Hear clanking and shuffling
>Some chick in full-plate runs up and tackles me
>Hungarian shouting, ties my arms with rope
>Pulls me up and starts poking me with with a sword hilt
>Leads me back to her friends, all in armor
>Spend the rest of the day as the prisoner of a Hungarian larp group

Really though, it wasn't like I had anything planned that day.
>Old lady reads bones for me
Did you meet Adam West from Family Guy?

What were they larping, needing a random person for prisoner?
Npc with broken dialogue?
Motherfuckin ghosts

>nods "I'll keep watch” and then goes and crouches behind a table

Nigga, you've just met your new CN guardian angel.
>sweat tea

I have no fucking clue, I don't speak Hungarian.
Because in Europe we get drunk. Alot. Unless you're weird like me and alcohol doesn't touch you.
Was she hot?
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>At party
>Sitting with a close friend, as usual when I'm a bit drunk I start rambling about things that interest me, this time it was history
>He's listening to me, I haven't gone on long enough for him to be bored yet
>Suddenly an ultra fat guy sits down at our table
>Starts talking about Stalin
>Obviously drunk as fuck
>We both sneak away to get some beer
>Get back
>He's still there, still talking about Stalin, with no one at the table

Decently, sure. Wasn't like she was the only girl there though.
Turns out you have multiple personality disorder and one of your personalities is fucking awesome at playing the keyboard.
Did ya have Snu-Snu?
>This is how I Bard.
armour gives girl +20 to CHA
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>Sleeping with random encounters
>Out with friends after a party
>Last bus for the night has gone, closest fuck lives 30 mins away and we're trying to figure out how to spend the night
>Suddenly a HUGE guy with a flask of vodka and a smaller guy, both in stereotypical Italian Mafia clothing comes up to us
>Starts talking to us in Italian accent
>Turns out he's a master wrestler and the other guy is his manager
>Talk to him and share the Vodka until dawn
>When we leave we all get a hug that could've broken a rib or two
That wasn't a typo. That is what she called it.
>This is how I Bard.
But these are exactly the sort of good decisions /tg/ makes.
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>Get on bus
>Sit near back, behind a guy talking on the phone
>As he talks, it becomes clear that he's under the influence of something
>Seems to be discussing a recent windfall of money with a relative and how he'll divide it up
>Hangs up, turns to me
>Now I know for certain he's drunk
>Compliments my hat, points out his own hat which is similar
>Shows me his new clothes that he bought (new jacket, jeans, shirt, shoes)
>Shows me his new phone that he was just using
>Asks me to remind him when his stop is near
>His stop comes up but he's still talking, so I press the button for him and tell him his stop's here
>He thanks me and staggers up and out of the bus, across a busy street and presumably home
I see what you did. And I like it
>Not sleeping with random encounters

Son, I lost my virginity with a random encounter and it was great
I'm pretty tired at the moment, but god damn did that make me laugh.
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>Go over to these people's house
>Have my dog with me
>She's a good dog, never any trouble ever at all
>Head upstairs to the loft by myself, plonk down on the couch
>A minute or so later she comes in, but immediately freaks out
>Gets down on the floor, growling like I've never heard and looking up at the high ceiling
>Try to calm her down, she crawls over to me and practically mauls my leg
>Bites and tugs as hard as she can to get me to follow her, never once looks away from the ceiling
>Leads out of the room, then stands in the doorway, growls and snaps if I tried to enter
>Forget about it, go back downstairs
>Before leaving, ask the people what the deal was with the loft, anything weird with it (kept pets there, etc?)
>Pause and look at each other, then back
>"Eeesh, that. Yeah, the people who lived here before us, their son hung himself up there. It's why they moved out."
>"Why do you ask?"
>sorry, reading the rest of the thread

I had my birthday earlier in the week, and a bunch of friends went out to dinner with me.

>Eight people, including Broseph from earlier story, sitting at table
>All of us at least a little nerdy, everyone's in a game (or more)
>Lots of eclectic discussion and stuff. When discussion turns to TTGs, we being discussing three separate campaigns (a high fantasy PF game, a scifi game, and a western game).
>Awesome time, talking, hanging out, sweet birthday
>Some woman gets up, starts walking out with her friend.
>Stops by us long enough to say something indecipherable involving a mansion. (The topic had just turned to how we needed to acquire a mansion and have a formal party in 1880s dress at some point,)
>Later find out that it was "The government will never let you have a mansion!"
>Her friend desperately pulls her out.
>She comes back three minutes later and sits down at the end of our table.
>Starts trying to warn us in hilariously battered english (super drunk) that the government is too powerful and science is a terrifying pandora's box that we've opened.
>Alternates between assuring us that she's a "technical-person" like us, and that declaring that there are chemicals that can erase people's memories
>I'm sitting a seat away and there are other conversations going on, so I'm having trouble hearing parts of this
>Eventually get involved in this conversation and point out that "we have chemicals that erase people, too. Haven't changed things too catastrophically."
>She warns that we can't trust the government with this kind of power, though.
>Spontaneously agree with her, but point out that it's futile.
>She says it's not futile, we have to turn to alternate media and independent sources.
>Counter that since the government is so omnipresent and powerful (and can apparently erase our memories) there's nothing we can do.
>She has some trouble processing this.
>Eventually gives up and leaves, after repeatedly urging us to seek alternate media and look up some particular person on youtube or something.

>Later find out that one of my friends recognized her but couldn't place her for a few days until she saw her again sober; apparently, Ms. C. Theorist was a lab partner of hers who never showed up to class.

More entertaining to talk to, but I assumed it'd be less entertaining to read about.

Hehe, no. Not exactly like I had a chance anyway.
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>walking home from work
>suddenly old woman appears!
>count Dracula
>then she ran away
The ceiling joists had probably been weakened by his hanging.

Dog didn't want you to get squished, bro.
>Bored out my mind driving to get some McDonalds.
>Look out my window
>Four guys, three adults and what looks like a kid, in wizard robes are having what looks like a mobile mexican standoff
>Two of them are armed with baseball bats, the kid has a paintball gun the other a Styrofoam sword.
>Right then
> Friend asks me for a favor, says it's serious.
> "Sure, what do you need?"
> He can't speak of it right now, says he needs to talk to me in private.
> Later that night, around midnight or something, we meet.
> "Can you tell me now what do you need?"
> He says someone stole some wooden crates during his shift at the grocery store.
> His boss is pissed, says he has to find some or he gets fired.
> He needs my help with getting some wooden crates.
> "Sure, why not, I'm drunk."
> We meet up with some friends of his mom coming home from work.
> They tell us where to find crates - some guy at the other side of town is keeping some in his backyard.
> Onward to adventure, with those women following us around and talking with him.
> We come to the place with the crates - they are behind some rusty fence.
> "Trust me, I know what I'm doing."
> "Open the front gate - it's rusty, makes an awful lot of noise, enough to wake up all the dogs in the neighborhood.
> Shit, shit, shit, shit.
> Oh, nobody's home? Cool, let's grab some.
> My friend gets panicky - he wants to get this over with as soon as possible.
> The fastest route is through the graveyard.
> We go through, and encounter some cops on the way out.
> Shit, shit, shit, shit.
> "Good evening, what the hell are you doing?"
> "Oh, not much, our boss told us to carry these to his shop."
> "I see. Well then, carry on."
> We get to the shop and drop off the crates.
> We go out and have a drink.
Best I had was something like...
First week of college, just getting back from dinner, decide to take the elevator for once. There's a guy in there wearing some 80's rejects. Tells me that he's filming a movie, just ignore whatever I see. Door opens and I get out, there's another guy in 80's cloths with a camera. He see me, laughs and drops it. I turn the corner and see two half naked girls plastered against the windows next to the door. I just keep walking and go to my room.

To this day I'm convinced I walked through the set of a porno.
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That motherfucker was rolling his face the fuck off.
>taking ugly hostages
She obviously wanted the dick.
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Ha, I think it was less who she took prisoner, and more who else. The place was literally empty, I couldn't understand it as it's the damn capitol of the country.

I'll say though, one of the mages seemed pretty friendly to me. At least she could barely speak some English.
It was red light and the kid looked hardcore as fuck. By the time I got my order they were gone.
This is exactly why you always keep a nerf gun in your car.
>> "Sure, why not, I'm drunk."

Weak, son. Real weak.
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Just realized, I forgot to clarify; the reason I specified the various rpg campaigns there were because apparently the crazy broad had caught every fifth word of the discussions, and so thought (after hearing fragments about BBEGs, evil plots, mind control, etc.) that we were fellow conspiracy theorists, and apparently that's why she'd decided she had to sit down and join us.
This is from years ago.

>Be 15
>Hanging out with friends in the town centre like we used to
>Gorgeous woman with a powerful accent comes up to me (she was Romanian, as I foudn out later)
>Gets up close
>Pushes the tip of a sai blade lightly into my chest
>Asks me "What do you do now?"
>Start freaking out whilst trying not to look like I'm freaking out
>"I... I was just going to the underground" (A broken-down old car park we'd moved sofas and things into a few months before).
>She asks "Can I come?"
>Couldn't really refuse her given the situation
>End up dating her
>She's my first proper girlfriend
>Funnily enough, she was a little bit insane
>But dat accent
>Nope, she's nuts
>She's pretty much every crazy woman story ever rolled up into one nutcase

And that is the story of the woman I lost my virginity to. There are many other stories of her, if /tg/ wants them.

me and the police have an understanding at this point

Sure. Where did she get the blade?
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>at party with friend
>get wasted with him
>see some dudes at a table speaking about history
>come to them to talk about the most amazing part of history ever, stalin
>me and my friend sit down, everyone seems interested in motherfucking stalin
>those guys leave to get some beer, thats alright
>keep telling my friend about glories of stalinism
>they come back, are amazed about my vast knowledge of stalin

Why wouldn't you make this into a quirky movie starring Zooey Deschanel?
oh man, when this happens.
My group once scared the shit out of an old lady when she overheard our plan to get our hands on a lot of cash and murder the shit out of a bloke that stiffed us on a deal earlier.
Hanging him by his nuts and gutting him like a fish might have been mentioned, followed by snickering.
Tell your tales, champ. My RE-Virginitylosing story was rather tame.
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>sitting at table at home
>see a black lab-type dog walk by
>wonder where its owners are, think it might be stray
>two days later, see it walk by again
>it walks on the sidewalk, looks both ways before crossing the street, and takes a different path from last time
>it does this about twice every week
>i've just seen a dog that walks itself
>Why wouldn't you make this into a quirky movie starring Zooey Deschanel?

Because we have enough of that "adorkable" thing already.
>On trip to Florida
>Hotter than the flames of Hades
>More humid than Satan's sweaty bum
> Literally dying of not being able to sweat out my body heat
>Get lost on the way walking back to the hotel
>Suddenly only white person in the entire street
>Get really nervous
>Duck down side street
>Fukken aligator in the middle of the street coming right toward me
>Run all the way back to hotel
>Pass out in lobby
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>Work as a coffee shop
>One of our regulars is a beast of a man
>Easily 6' 7"
>Usually shows up in the afternoon so no one bothers to know his name, just his drink
>Ask him what he does for a living
>He gives me a weird look
>"I run a protection company. Foreign dignitaries and the like."
>"Woah. That sounds pretty awesome, actually."
>"Yeah. It was. Met a lot of people, went to a lot of places, hurt a lot of people. But I don't do that anymore."
>"I got kids. I can't leave them. They're all I got left."
>Calmly picks up his coffee and leaves

My virginity loss made my dad laugh his ass off when I told him I wasn't a virgin, and my mom think I was gay for half a decade (and still going).
>Suddenly only white person
You racist.

Well unless it was Miami, at which point good move
>standing in line at shitty bank that is inside a grocery store
>haggard-looking woman pushing a shopping cart passes me, stops, backs up, looks me right in the eye
>she says "I am fearless"
>resumes her shopping
>I close my account and open one at the credit union accross town
>being white without POC supervision is racist
Which it was. And I've learned the hard way that when you're suddenly the only person who looks like you in any way, it's a good idea to get the heck out of there.

Speaking of that, would you like to hear that story?
I guess I have been some people's random encounter, as on occasion I wear a heavy overcoat, crimson scarf, winter boots, and an ushanka with a red star and hammer and sickle pin. I also speak in a heavy Russian accent when I am out and about, doing this. It's good fun, and the looks and conversations I get into are equally glorious.

I need more costumes though.
>Get nervous
That was kind of the implication
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>work as a coffee shop

d-do people co-come inside you often?
I think you met a PC.
>notice the "as"
oh ok, I am the hole of an ass
>find out my college has an anime class
>ask /a/ if it'd be worth checking out
>besides the obvious GTFO answers they tell me to not be "That Guy" if I do go
>first day
>class is mostly full of art and film students, surprisingly
>cute blonde girl sitting next to me
>try to act cool and hide powerlevels
>she starts asking me my name and stuff
>ask her the same
>"Oh, me?"
>she gets closer to my ear and says in a low voice
>"I'm THAT girl."
Don't be discriminatory.

Giant robots gotta pay rent.

Except the ones that work as apartments.
Back when I worked in Toronto, I had a few good ones.
My favorite hands down was
> Step out of my workplace on Younge/Dundas
>hear a commotion to my right, turn to see
> a six foot tall black man in a long robe and turban, wearing wraparound shades
>brandishing a baguette
>cackling like a madman, screaming 'NOOOOO, YOU DONT TOUCH-A MY BREAD'
>procedes to beat passerby about the face and neck with said baguette, whilst cackling some more

Waiting outside a mechanics shop in rural Ontario for them to open, very early in the morning, sun is just rising.
> A young man flies past us on the sidewalk on a unicycle, in full formalwear.
this was a very small town, there were no weddings or anything like that that day.
no, i meant

>work as coffee shop
>you are coffee shop
>people come inside shops
>do people come inside you often?
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Most of the other stories can be condensed pretty easily, so I'll type them up here.

I don't know where she got the sai knives from.

>We're dating
>She's living with me for a bit because of trouble at home
>Wake up more than a few times with her just standing by my bed looking at me


>Meeting a friend to get a train to london
>Get there about half-hour late, he's already left without me
>A few days later, out with said girl and we see the guy in a supermarket
>She lays into him and starts slashing at his face with her nails
>Literally have to pull her off
>mfw I'm pulling her out as security guards begin to swarm


>Break up with her after about six months, can't handle the crazy anymore
>Find a small shrine she's built, covered in photos of me, hidden under a load of old rugs she had somehow brought to my house
>Threatens to kill herself
>I get woken up in the middle of the night with her straddling me holding one of those knives of hers over me like I'm a fucking sacrifice
>Manage to talk her down on the promise that I don't split with her


>Be on holiday in Yorkshire
>Come back
>As we open the porch door we find her right as she's leaving
>She fucking broke in to my house while we were away

My neighborhood has a dog that makes the same long morning route everyday. He goes to see all the other dogs he knows are outside at that time, including my own dog.

Then he goes back home.
Guess I was a random encounter
>Everyone is going to a party 2km out of town.
>No one seems to know the address
>Everyone but me and one other is on bikes
>Herd of pre-drinkers take off, leaving me and other non-bike friend.
>Run alongside bikes all the way there.
>Get mistaken for a girl 3 times at the party
Yeah, that's what I meant

Also, I'm from Canada, Land of Many Colours.
Why is it bad if there are just non-honkies all of a sudden?
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>apartments are sluts, man!

anyway i lol'd at your post and applauded

here, have a picture with quite old filename
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>Visit this new park in my town with a couple of friends.
>The park is on a pier, there are two walkways connecting it to land.
>We check out the playground, it's pretty late so there are no kids around.
>Decide to head back onto land.
>The gates at the end of the walkways are locked.
>Due to the way the fence is made, and the fact that none of us are particularly athletic, we can't climb over it.
>We could climb around the gate, but risk falling into the river.
>We call campus police and have them redirect us to the non-emergency police line. They call the guy who locked up and tell him to come unlock us.
>In the meantime, some guy walks up to us and starts shooting the shit.
>He's pretty drunk, and claims to be ex-military.
>He drops his bag, then climbs around the gate and jumps onto the walkway.
>Tries to convince us to climb over like he did. Fuck no.
>Climbs back over and chats some more.
>Turns out he's the grandson of the guy who locks up the park.
>Eventually he leaves, then his grandfather gets there and lets us out.
>We apologize profusely, since apparently he always blows a whistle before closing.
>We've never set foot in that park since then.
And then you kissed
>Getting some coffee at Starbucks(I spent the night on my cousins couch sue me)
>Two guys almost knock me over
>A teenager and a old man both carrying squirt guns
>This time actually knocking me to the floor is this weirdo dressed like Dracula who's soaking wet
I remember that thread
Man, I wish my part of Canada was like that.

They best I've got is random people on the bus rapping to themselves.
What did she mean? Was she literally referencing the stereotype?

>Finally manage to split up for good a few weeks later
>She literally comes to my house in the night, my bedroom's on the ground floor, she's knocking on the window to be let in
>Give in once or twice for the sex (My GOD, she was crazy, but the SEX, fucking hell)


>Eventually starts claiming that I raped her to everyone I hung out with
>They all know me, and know I'd never do anything like that, and tell her to fuck off
>She starts dating a guy known for randomly biting people in the street, I think he's been prosecuted once or twice for it
>The rape stories continue for years


>Seeing a girl about a year later
>She comes up to me in the alley behind my house
>Tells me I gave her tuberculosis
>My family were all inoculated when we were children
>A few weeks pass
>Get a letter for the hospital saying she'd been infectious with TB for years (TB of all things, I thought that had been stamped out a century ago)
>My whole family had to be tested


>Four years later
>Starting a college course
>Oh fuck she's in the same class, why does she keep coming back to haunt me
>Rape accusations start all over again (she never actually went to the police or anything)
>People see through her, I praise my luck that even people that didn't know me thought she was bonkers


>Occasionally meet people she's dated over the years
>They all have exactly the same stories about her nuttiness, particularly the rape accusations

I've been asked a few times why I don't handle relationships well. I then explain the stories of my insane first.
No she's THAT girl. She's the one that says things. Whatever room she's in is room temperature. She is the primal girl from which all girls are wrought.
Probably not, she didn't seem like an /a/non at least

nonetheless it was too uncanny and I didn't go back again
can I get an exact location?
>On train
>Old guy gets on with dog
>Old guy is a bro, starts chatting with everyone
>Pulls bottle of wine out of his bag and starts chugging it.
>Woman looks visibly unimpressed by this, and he asks her for her number.
People move down the carriage and eventually it's me and him up the end
>He sits down and starts crying. Turns out he's gone to a funeral and he's been bottling his emotions up, laughing joking and flirting to try to avoid the truth.
>Sit and talk to him until my stop, I get off, and he carries on, crying, into the unknown.
Are you unsure if that anon is the same guy you randomly tied up?
Like, is that a common thing in Budapest?
>go to nearby "spiritual bookstore" or whatever the fuck because they have a great selection of incense
>some morbidly obese woman is poring over the selection of some polished stone
>she inspected each stone, held it against her forehead with her eyes closed, etc.
>I just kind of think "lol wiccans" and grab some incense
>go to pay
>they try to get me to drop by for some "readings" and also to buy honey from the local bees.

actually that's not a random encounter, it's pretty much what happens every time I stumble into the material components shop. (I go for the entertainment, and also because the novelty shop at the mall just sells weed-themed incense)
Let's just say that in some cities there are areas of that city that you do not go into if you're not part of that culture, because if you do, you get shot.

Like what happened to me and a friend

>My friend and I are in Detroit
>The friend we're staying with has to go to work
>Tells us not to go into a certain part of the city
>We're stupid
>We go there
>Just walking around looking
>Suddenly, gunshot
>Friend grabs shoulder and screams
>Another gunshot
>Feels like a truck just hit my intestines with a load of burning hatred
>I go down
>Some guy comes up and rifles through our pockets
>Takes our stuff
>Wanders off
>Finally bite my way past the pain
>Help friend up
>Walk back to gas station near friend's house
>I black out
>Friend apparently got someone to call an ambulance
>Wake up in hospital a few hours later

Let's just say you only let that happen once.
this thread is so gud.
but the guy with the crazy sai ex-girlfriend needs to tell us more

It was the one by the black castle, with the moat. Like, across the street/over the bridge from the big semi-circle war monument. If I am not mistaken, there was also a zoo in that park, on the other side of the road. I didn't cross the road to see if there really was a zoo over there though.

Sorry for not remembering the name, I don't have the tourist map at my apartment.

>the guy with the crazy sai ex-girlfriend needs to tell us more

also post a headshot so we know to avoid
>>My friend and I are in Detroit

K, I might be a sheltered Canadafag, but even I've heard the horror stories of the dark land called Dee-troy-t.

Is it true that it's full of undead abominations and sewer-dwelling mutants?

...weed-themed incense? You mean like actually smelling like dope?
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Totally didn't see this thread.

I just had a strange thing happen to me just now.

It was a little past 7pm and pretty dark out with it being winter and all, when all of a sudden I see this imposing black mass moving towards me across an intersection. As I realize it is in fact a person wearing an trenchcoat that wasn't done up, he starts sprinting towards me.

Now because it was dark, and the trenchcoat whipping around him like a cape made his already large mass seem even larger, so I was kind of startled, but kept walking. As he cross the intersection and got close to me, he slowed down and lit a cigarette. As we walked past eachother, he said in a timid voice "Sup man." and kept walking.

It wasn't until he was out of view that I realized not only was he wearing all black, had long curling black hair and a goatee, but he was also wearing sunglasses. At night. He didn't even have the cigarette when he passed me, and I didn't see him pitch it anywhere.
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sad story, bro

Neo, it's time.

Choose your pill.
I think so, but I was only there for two days before I had to get some of my intestines sewn back together. After that I was on so many painkillers that I'm not sure what was going on. I think there were also rat-people that rode scooters at four in the morning, though.

Luckily we got our stuff back, though. The guy who took it tried to use my card and name at the same gas station we called from and got caught.

Lions fans? Yeah, they're there all right.
sounds awesome
> Being at some pub, having a beer.
> Can't breathe, the fuckers allowed smoking inside because of rain.
> Get a call from a friend.
> The guy is a real-life example of Chaotic Stupid. A fucking random encounter generator.
> "Dude, get over to this club, I need your help with something."
> "Sure, why not."
> I get to the place he called me over, he's standing outside in the rain and grinning like a madman.
> Oh, God, no, what has he done now.
> He says how he finally stood up for himself, and that I should feel proud.
> What.
> I go in, the place is almost empty, some girls are crying in the corner, and some guys stare at me.
> I should probably mention that at this moment, I'm a 6.2 feet tall, 200 and something pounds heavy motherfucker.
> "The fuck did you do?"
> Some girl asked him how is college, he fucking went mental on her - screamed at her, told her how she's a slut and so on.
> Then screamed that his big brother is coming over there to fuck everyone up.
> What.
> I turn to him, he's still grinning his head off.
> Tell him to wait outside, while I apologize to everyone and explain what's going on.
Honestly, the guy is okay, but whenever he gets drunk, he's a walking random encounter.
>Going to a part of fucking Detroit that you were warned about
Do you have a death wish or something?
>>My friend and I are in Detroit
Now there's yer problem
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I live in a small town in south Cumbria in England.

Let me tell you about Cumbria, nothing bad ever happens but the people make mountains out of molehills.

>Be in local pub
>A argument between to massive steroid guys starts up.
>One throws a glass at the others head
>The other says "Shall we take this outside?" The other replies "Certainly" about 10 meat heads walk out like sirs.
> Didn't see the actual fight and everyone else continued having drinks.

Heres another.

>In pub with GF
>30 something drunk chav guy comes other to me and my gf
>He introduces him self some how and shakes my hand
>He then attempts to introduce him self to my GF by moving in to kiss her on ethier cheek.
>I block his movement and say "Hey Excuse me, thats my girl"
>HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE DID THAT GUY JUST STOP THAT GUY?!? Entire pub backs up as if a fight is about to start
>He asks what the problem is
>I ask him why hes introducing him self like this to a complete strangers girl friend.
>He says "Its a European thing" and also justifies it by saying "Ive been with my wife for years and she dont mind it"
>His "wife" is clearly flirting with another man in the direction he points.
>Everyone calms down and the guy walks off to the bar and doesnt bother us again, everyone chills out

Huh. The village elders will want to hear about this.

Dark portents indeed.
>live in eastern europe
>havent heard a gunshot in a lifetime, or know anyone who would hear it on the streets
>no niggers, only black persons
>quite hard to meet asians
>no hipsters and widespread homophobia

take your crime stories away from me, you filthy degenerate americunt!
Why was he wearing sunglasses during a night operation?
yeah, dogs and cats sense this kind of shit.
>go to a countryside for summer
>neighboring house burn down long ago, with family trapped inside
>ten years have passed, the plot was now sold to other people, who lived there from time to time
>Return home in the late evening
>moonless night
>see my cat standing near the fence, staring at one place and growling
>my cat was the broest and quietest animal i was familliar with, i am not sure he even KNEW how to meow
>and he was standing there, ready to fling itself at whatever invisible menace was beyond that face, making sounds i never heard from him before and never again (i left a week after).
I dunno what creeped me out more- that my ol' harmless Fluffy decided to become A WARRIOR OF CATKIND, PROTECTOR OF THE TURF or the fact that he stared at that one place.
Fucking ghosts.
>certain part of the city
>In Detroit


Who the fuck wanders around Detroit?! Do you WANT to die?!

Lay off him, guys.
He never asked for this.
>that game setting where the PCs are cats fighting eldritch abominations to protect their humans.
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>/tg is better at /x than (x is
We were stupid and very stupid. Now we've learned a few lessons the hard way and have learned to learn lessons the easy way. Thankfully.

I think there might have also been some witches with walking houses. But that may have been the drugs.

>From Germany
>Moved to America for college
>Gets called Americunt
I knew detroit was a shit place when I was 12.
And I am a european!
you met a deus ex character character?

some people really, really, really like weed. and anything that has pot leaves printed on it.

they also have Bob Marley incense, but I am not exactly curious to find out what Bob Marley smells like. especially since he's, well, dead.
Hey, at least the fuckwits weren't in Gary.
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Same guy again.

>Be in pub (everything happens in pubs...)
>Go to fetch my self and GF a drink
>come back to some meat head with his arm around my gf who looks fucking petrified (she has some anxiety issues at this point in time)
>I sit on the other side of her and lift the guys arm off and say "Sorry mate, thats my gf"
>He laughs and says "HAHA, I think you will find she wants me"
>He is so fucking drunk hes actually drooling as he speaks.
>I say "Let it go man, just enjoy the night"
>"I said calm down, theres no need to make a thing out of this"
>He stands up, knocks the table over with everyones drinks on it and begins shouting some rable at me
>I dont know how the fuck I am still keeping my cool
>He raises his hand in a fist
>Out of fucking no where my GF spins around and slaps him across the face with the force of a thousand suns
>His friends pull him away and everything resumes as normal.
>Dont ever see him again, few friends pat me on my back for my bravery seeing as I was 18 at this time and that guy was about 28

Ive never actually thrown a punch in my life at a person, but I dont like letting my self or friends get pushed about or treated like crap. Im not even a massive guy either.
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I could try and dig up a picture. I'll give you a clue as to the location - Southend, UK. If a hot romanian chick, aged about... 23-24 by now, comes up to you, just say no.

More stories? Alright.

>Find her more than once in my mother's bedroom looting her clothes
>It's clearly not for fashion, my mum was many sizes larger than her at the time, and taller


>Near the end when I'm trying to finish it
>She tries once to force-feed me a crystal of some kind claiming "It'll make me love her"


>One night
>Rest of family's out at my dad's
>I find her in the living room with a paving stone on the carpet with a fire four feet up doing some kind of ritual
>Immediately panic and throw a bucket of water on the thing
>She says nothing and just goes upstairs


>She comes into my room one time
>She's bitten her bottom lip so hard there's blood flowing down her chin
>Tells me to kiss her and lick it all off

That's the extent of the really mental stuff. There are other, smaller things, but not much else is too greentext-worthy.
As to why I put up with it? I don't know. Initially it was the accent, and her body. She was stunning. later I was frightened she'd actually really hurt me, if not kill me, for splitting, but in the end she got the message.

EXTRA MODE: The girl I mentioned I was seeing a year later split up with me after she found out I'd cheated.
By 'cheated' I had drunk so much at a party I was literally lying on the floor unable to stand up. I couldn't move. Crazywoman's younger sister (I don't want to drop names, sorry), lies down and starts kissing me. It was like snogging a wet vacuum cleaner with a snake in it.
His eyes are augmented

We have witches with walking houses.
'Course, by witches I mean french people.
And by walking houses I mean regular houses.

Pretty much the same thing.
>It's a dark December night specifically Friday
>Sitting on my porch drinking Hot Chocolate while looking at the sky.
>It's fuck all empty but calms me down and gets me sleepy.
>Suddenly some guy passes in front of me walking across my lawn
>Guy jumps starts apologizing I calm down since to be perfectly honest he looks pathetic, skinny haggard wearing baggy clothing and looks scared out of his mind. He was walking across the lawn because it's dark out and he's afraid of the cars.
>I sit back down.
>He turn back to start back on his way.
>"You can't see the stars"
>Looks back at me. "Thats a good thing"
>Walks off I lose sight of him due to a combination of his clothes color and the general darkness of the area.
Any ideas what the fuck that was about?

On the upside, whenever someone says they've had a crazy girlfriend, I can genuinely say "Trust me dude, I've dated worse", share some stories, and engage in some mild one-upsmanship.

>lesson oposesig

Yes, Captcha, it was a lesson indeed.
Gary Indiana?
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forgot pic. they also sell these. they are not bongs or "water pipes". I'm sure a pothead could figure out how to use one as a bong easily enough, but they are sold as incense holders.
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And this is my last one from Dundee in Scotland.

>Walking home from a University Lecture, I see a man and his wife on the path ahead.
>They are both about 4ft.8 and the man is waving a pie at the woman.
>He stops me and asks "EY U SUN, WIT DE YE CALL DIS?" As he shakes the pie towards me.
>"A pie?" I reply.
>He then waves it in his what we can presume to be wifes face yelling "A FOOKIN PAH"
>They waddle away from me still arguing.

Im just glad this one wasnt in a pub.
Wasn't /x/ fucked up by /b/?
a little of background to my story

I was almost 18 years old (it was 5 years ago), still in high school, but looked older due to bear wrestling activities and hunting for boars in my town which is near military base, jail, psychiatric hospital and factory of latex outfits (for hilarity- you can guys look it up, but the latex factory is closed by now) and we cannot afford to be pussies.

Get invited to a foreign exchange to England (I'm from eastern Europe).
>Northern Yorkshire
>I was walking down the narrow street when suddenly a jeep appears.
>Door opens and faces painted green start yelling something which I wasn't able to understand
>I'm going to get my ass beaten
>They force me into the car then drive somewhere
>end up in the best party I ever attended
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Well, let's see if I can articulate this properly.
> walking to a friend's house late at night last June.
> go through the park (pic very related; ??? is a private residence)
> the path is unlit (like always)
> not turning on my flashlight, don't want to shine like a target in the dark, plus it's more interesting this way
> at each crossroad, on the path extending to my right, there is a person
> they are standing with their arms outstretched, as if forming a barrier
> fortunately they're parallel to my path, so I pass without issue
> kind of wondering what they were barring, but didn't have time or desire to ask
> suddenly legs stop walking
> lol what?
> try taking a step
> legs not wanting to take a step
> turn on flashlight
> in front of me, mere centimetres away is a nice little old lady
> apologise for almost running into her and continue on
And nothing happened
If she weren't a spirit or something, I really hope she got home ok. Then again, no mugger would try to ambush crazy people walking without a flashlight in a dark forest in the middle of June on a moonless night.

Also, I kind of wish I happened to be somebody's random encounter that night. I did pass a few other people, but they were completely unremarkable.
"fucked up" is a bit of an understatement, but yes.

Well, I occasionally imbibe, but I can't stand the smell of it stuck in my clothes a day or so after.

In fact, I normally put normal incense on to cover the smell out. Why on earth would someone want to stink of weed without actually being high?
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I'm kind of ashamed to say that this is my brand.............. for dragon's blood incense.

Perhaps I should purchase some. It may be a +4 to random encounter rolls.
>On vacation in BC, out for a hike.
>Suddenly Asians, thousands of them.
>And they're clapping. All of them.
>Find somewhere else to hike.

Turned out to be bear mating season so there were signs up saying to make lots of noise so you don't surprise horny bears.


Fuck, I can't stop laughing.

I'm going to add a bunch of these things into my next game. Thank you so much, /tg/.
potheads are annoying
Hm. Sounds like it was back in Europe. French people.

they're IRL Kobolds. their ways are strange to those of us of a more standard human, dwarven, or elven persuasion.
i wish there was a good kind of crazy foreign hot girlfriend

but world/live isnt fair to us
Watch the skies.

This is basically how the Tayside (Dundee) area sounds like.
You've got them too?

Fuck, I thought it was just us.
The Synod of Canada will need to hear about this; the infestation is far greater than we could have ever imagined.

You watch Lost Girl too, huh?

>dat Kenzi.

Well from those numbers and the fact that he looked like he didn't sleep for weeks I am not going to say he was coming down from a bad high.

I know, man. My kingdom for a hot eastern european with DAT ACCENT and little-to-no crazy.

I suppose it's left me with the ability to handle lesser amounts of crazy in other women. I've found over the years that I'm a bit of a nutter magnet and 90% of the time, it's awesome.
One of the women I regret losing most was into tabletop gaming long before I was. I remember her inviting me to a few games and saying "It's not really for me". Later on, I end up here, and TTRP becomes my favourite hobby. Fate has an ironic sense of humour, really - but anyway. She didn't do pillow talk much, she'd rather we'd watch star trek or play scrabble post-coitus.

Goddamn, I miss her so dearly.
Watch the skies
The very same. Highest murder rate in the country.
>Be walking with friends down sidewalk.


>Guy lands in a crouch in front of us
>Walks away like everything is normal.

Guy came off a second floor balcony because apparently stairs are for pussies.
It doesn't matter what pill you choose, it real choice was the water. Watch the movie again, Morpheus only smiles when Neo drinks the water.

I have no idea. We have some of the worst streets in the country, and there are very few properly cleared sidewalks right now, so he must have a deathwish or something.

That explains it.
They always smell and drink the bad wine, not the good kind. But I guess that leaves more for the rest of us...

Yes.. they may need to be culled.
actually, no, i dont.

i just...wish for my spices in my live, eastern europe is a... dull place to live in.
please,help me.
I was a random encounter to this poor couple.

>At friend's birthday party or some shit
>Bunch of people I don't even know I had nothing else to do so I went
>One of my other friends is a huge pothead and got this gas mask or some shit that you hook a bong up to
>Drink a bit at party. Rum & Coke and a couple beers
>My pothead friend is my ride home
>Drives to these random people's house to show them his new gas mask
>Don't fucking know these people either, just wanna go home (It's a dude and his wife)
>They start smokin from the mask
>Offer me a hit
>I've only smoked a couple times, yeah it's nice from a bowl but I don't feel the need to do it every time. I only smoke when it's offered, no desire to otherwise.
>Fuck it, the mask is cool looking at least.
>Suddenly discover that I'm clostrophobic
>Fucker is as tight as a crabs anus
> Hyperventilate and accidentally start taking hits
>Take one huge hit trying to take a deep breath
>Finally get the mask off
>bros are like "dude that was a big hit"
>sit there for a minute and watch them smoke in boredom as I start to feel sick
>Oh fuck
>Run into their bathroom just in time
>throw up in my mouth
>confused because of weed
>toilet looks like it's a mile away
>Puke in sink
>Clog their sink and am unable to unclog it with drano or anything.
>Feel horrible but it's getting late and have to leave.
>I left their house with my vomit all up in their drain.

We will send you 50% of our military; Freddy, Joey, Nanook, and RUSH are at your disposal.
bullshit, they don't liberate people who don't want to be liberated. it's mentioned several times.

the choice is what matters.
i-i wish for a girl that would like to watch star trek with me

hell i dont even like star trek, i just want a /tg/ related gf

fuck my live
I think I know that mystery unicyclist actually. He'd come to school like that sometimes.

That sucks.

I want an awesome, /tg/-playing girlfriend.
>scrabble post-coitus.

For me it was Jenga.
It's tea and sugar. That's gross?
I've always just wanted to buy an abandoned warehouse and wander around outside. If I saw someone cool, I would go over to them and request a "hero's help". If they responded with a yes, I would give them the key's to the warehouse and have them retrieve a crystal orb. They would have to solve puzzles and do random obstacle courses and other "harmless" traps. Once they solve it and bring the orb back to me, I would pay them in $10 and some random trinkets.
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I know, I know.

>MFW I finally appreciate what I lost then
this thread's derailing into tfwnogf, here's an animal-related random encounter
>walking home at night
>some stray dog starts following me
>not being aggressive, just walking with me for some reason
>another one appears, then two more
>I'm being escorted by 4 random stray dogs
And they left me a bit before I reached my neighbourhood. Weird.
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>Sitting in KFC with my friend James, summertime in London 2010.
>James is pretty dopey and gullible, but a cool guy.
>Notice a few tables across from us is this hulk of a man.
>He keeps looking over at me and staring.
>Get up to the counter to ask for some of those lemon hand wipe thingies.
>Turn back around to find the guy sitting at our table, talking to James.
>Assume he knows the guy from his football team or something.
>Speaks in a thick Russian accent and calls himself "Oleg."
>Think it's kind of strange but roll with it.
>He invites us to come to his flat for a party tonight.
>Thinking he's a friend of a friend, accept the invitation.
>Turn up around 9ish at this dodgy flat on an estate in East-London.
>"Oleg" invites us inside.
>The interior is actually pretty nice, however there is no one there, just Me, James and "Oleg."
>Make the most of it, he puts on some horrible grime track and we all do some lines of ket
>"Oleg" tells us a line I'll never forget.
>"Now it is party beginning."
>Picks up his TV and throws it on the ground.
>Puts his foot straight through a SOLID OAK TABLE.
>Picks up a lamp and smashes it on a wall.
>Hands James a vase and tells him to throw it.
>Both of us are scared as fuck, so he does it.
>Trash his entire house, to terrified and ketted up to leave or do much.
>Find out later IT WASN'T EVEN HIS FLAT.
>Never saw the guy again, assumed he just got arrested.
>Felt really bad, we decided to go back to the flat and confess to the owners.
>Return to flat, knock on the door.
>Middle aged black women opens the door.
>Explain what we did.
>She looks confused.
>Peer past her, the layout seemed the same but everything inside was different.
>She denies that ever happening.

I still don't know who the fuck Oleg was or if any of that actually happened.

You sound like either the coolest person, or a massive dildo.

Or a rapist.

Or all three.

Can I be your bestfriend?
girls are stupid cunts, i tell you what

you cant talk to them normally as they will take it as insult or wont understand a shit
they are so shallow and empty its not funny

there is no men that desire only sex from girls, its just girls cant offer anything to them except their bodies
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>Late at night
>Driving to get some food
>Drive past driveway up to school
>Kids at the entrance start whipping chestnuts at the car trying to get me to stop
>Get out
>"What the fuck"
>One of them just points up at the school and smiles
>Get back in car
>Drive to house
>Get roommates
>Fill up a bunch of super soakers and waterguns
>Get in roommates sliding door van
>Drive back to spot
>Stop suddenly and door bursts open
>Start spraying kids with pressurized freezing water
>Friends hop back in van
>Scream out window "DO THROW SHIT AT MY CAR"
>Speed off

I'd forgotten about that.
Yeah, that thing could become a fine steamroller in no time
>Suddenly misogyny
What, did a woman kill your father and rape your mother?
Thank you.

We shall have to bring out the panzers to deal with them.
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HAHA wow!
It's like this comic but in reverse
That's usually spelled "Sweet tea."
>all three
>coolest massive dildo rapist

i wouldnt mind such bro
get rich first.
Then you're allowed to be "eccentric"
That's the problem. I guess that there would be a lot of scared people, but if I encountered them in NPC fashion and told them I would pay them up front, they may agree.
CE wizard

>This is what virgins actually believe

Women are no different from men, except the fact they have boobs.
Getting all creepy or shy does you no good, just don't be a douche and chat like friends, and you'll go far, and have some great experiences too.

Don't use 'oh but I have assburgers' as an excuse. I have it and I've never, ever let it get in my way. Except for attracting sai-wielding nutcases. But except that, no problem at all.
New Tecumseth/Alliston area?
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>Be 16
>At a party being kinda drunk
>Socializing and getting along with people
>After some time I'm pretty drunk
>Calls it a night and starts to head home
>On (what i though to be half way) home
>"Hey Anon!"
>A girl and a guy from the party (Brother and sister)
>The brother rides the bike the sister is on the back because she was way more drunk than him
>"Where are you going"
>Me "home"
>But don't you live in the other direction
> "Uhhhhh.... you guys have a sofa I can crash on?"
> They did

Such was teenage life in Jylland in Denmark anno 2010.
Dude, listen.
I'll do it.
But there's a condition.
1. I only work on moonless summer nights
2. I need about 100ml of human blood upfront on the night I go in. Fresh. Don't ask.
I don't need money btw.

Nanook is a fierce warrior; I was there when he trapped his first wife. It was truly an honourable day.

Just watch out. If he starts asking you to come by his shack and check out his new "hockey puck", run like shit.

The puck is your butthole.
Watch the skies.
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My local GW seems to be a hub for random encounters.

>Go to my local GW like always
>See this old guy inside that I haven't seen before, but he's shooting the shit with the manager.
>Turns out the old guy was a propmaker for ILM, and has done props for literally every major movie you've ever heard of.
>Tells us that every time he builds a miniature vehicle, he hides a little R2 dome somewhere on it, like on Air Force One with Harrison Ford.
>Shows us a little cottage he built.
>He literally built it brick by brick.
>Tells us a couple more awesome production stories before leaving.
>Never see him again.

And another time,
>Go into the GW.
>There's this weird guy with a thick Aussie accent in the store.
>One of the regulars brings in Aeornautica Imperialis for us to try out.
>Aussie sees it and says "That's cool, not enough people play specialist games any more."
>Another local is painting a Halfling Hot Pot Catapult.
>Aussie asks him what he thinks would be cool.
>Local kid is having trouble with the metal, so he says it would be awesome of the Hot Pot was in finecast.
>Aussie then leaves, and the manager finally tells us that he was the GW CEO.
>One week later, the Halfling Hot Pot is converted to Finecast.
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I was a random encounter once

>wearing a trenchcoat, thick black armyvest with a tie, a gasmask that covers your mouth, also black and an WW2-ish generelhat
>loadet with rockets and a pipe with a handle
>know where everyone meets, know noone there
>fuck it, lets have fun
>blasting dem war-ghosts all night
>return home, change, then drive to a friends party
>Women are no different from men, except the fact they have boobs.
That's just plain not true.
But everything else was right
Combating Heresy. One ghost at a time.
yeah but the bottom line, right? the bottom line issad we're all people.
There be good and bad women just like theres good an bad men.
savvy that

You can split hairs about cognition, but at the end of the day it's about being yourself. For all intents and purposes, there's not much difference when you're just talking.
>Can't see orange flag in in a green ass wood.
damn nigga you terrible hunter.
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>Be in britland as a tourist
>get lost, end up near canal.
>drunk as fuck hobo with three teeth hobbles to his feet
>stares me dead in the eyes.
>adrenal glands start revving up.
> He does a little jig, then returns to the death stare
>Steps closer, does the jig again
>I dance back
>Proceed to pseudo dancefight back and forth for about a miniute.
> hobo then trips while dancing, falls flat on his face
>he's not moving
> freak out, realize i don't know the british version of 911
> He then begins snoring.
Guess not, St. Thomas-Dutton area for this specific one. Guess we have more formal unocyclists than I thought
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>Senior year of highschool
>Chatting with friends in lobby at lunch
>Suddenly condoms start falling from the sky
>A lot of condoms
>Some of them are blown up
>At least one was used
>Think someone obviously dropped them from the landing upstairs
>No one up there
>Continue on with day
>First class after lunch get told we can't leave the classroom until the announce all clear over the PA system
>Look out window and see several police cars and the wagon
>Man leading Dog in school
>Holy fuck.
>Soon after hear commotion and barking the hallways
>Firealarm rings
>Announcement on PA tells everyone to evacuate school
>Someone set the schools daycare on fire
>Firetrucks come, ect
>See police bring out stacks of video tapes, porn and drugs
>There was also a bomb threat called in

Apparently this was all related.
>A forty ounce nigger
That is a pretty small nigger. Where did he even get that at 3am?
Any time I see one of those, I make mental notes to train to think in what would be the feminine way. Just because I don't like being in the gaussian curve.

Hernandez. He you gotta know him first, though, and he only deals with people he likes. He grows 'em in his greenhouse.
Good with kids.
Wife's nice. She bakes.
>sitting in the bus, headphones on, minding my own business.
>notice a older guy next to me is trying to ask me something.
>take of my headphones and ask what he was saying.
>he lowers his voice and tells me about the shadow government, sending their secret messages in the TV static.
>Not sure if this guy is joking or a complete nutcase. Clearly not a hobo, so politely nod and smile.
>whispers about the Shadow World Order, and that I will be contacted via tv-static this evening.
>Its my bus stop.
>no contact was made that evening.
999 man! Good Lord I've never set foot out of AMURICAH and I know that.
That's sad. You met the last surviving battle-dance teacher. If only you had triggered the quest where he teaches you all his secrets.
I am random..oh wait no you are, what?!?!!?

>friends and I all head to local town heritage thing
>had costumes in trunk of car for whatever reason
>I'm dressed as a hippie, friend as a pirate, and other friend as batman
>fuckthisshit.jpg what used to be a fun event has turned into a town wide yardsale
>find a guy giving away books and t-shirts,
>ask him if he knows any place to get some vinyls
"Naw man...Erm...Wait...Who's askin"
>Uh, I am
"Alright go to (Anons home town) and find the post office, on the corner is a two story blue house, tell em roger sent ya, and tell em ye want the stuff in the garage, take all the vinyl ya want"
>Quest accepted, we head to my town, and get to the post office, and realise on the one corner, there are 3 two story blue houses
>friends all looking around trying to pick the right house
"Whom are you lookin for"
>Suddenly a little hispanic lady appears from behind me
>Um, roger sen..
>she points the the one to our left,
>when we look back to thank her, she is gone
>knock on the screen door, and what appears to have been a door slides to the side,
>It was a mattress, they usher us around to the side door
"Whatchu want?"
>Roger said we could have the vinyl in the garage
"Oh, well if roger sent ya"
>opens the garage,
>Boxes of vinyl,
>Whoa...How much ya think he wants for them?
"Eh, if roger sent ya then they are yours, no worries"
>leave with no less than 800 records, all 70-90 rock,

Thanks roger.

wow. how did i miss that


>I was at a random frat party, standing at the side of the dance floor watching a guy I knew dance with girl.
>I was just about to dance when a guy, clearly drunk came up to me.
>He asked me my major and I told him, and we just began to randomly talk.
>He randomly mentions Stanley Kubrick.
>"Wait, you mean the director."
>"Yeah. Love him."
>Begin random conversation about films, film history, and Kubrick over the blaring, shitty dance music.

My school has no real film club and our film major sucks ass, so it's always nice to meet an aficionado. Never saw him again.

This is one of my favorite stories to tell about my old job, but I've got a few at my new job, too.

>be 2010
>working in the automotive section of Wal Mart
>changing oil, tires, batteries, helping customers, being treated like a bitch by the managers, etc.
>one day I'm at the counter with a small line of customers
>Older gentlemen, about 60 possible, walks up, being reserved but friendly
>I just happen to notice a small silver cross hanging from a necklace chain on him
>he asks me what sparkplugs he needs to use on his vehicle
>I tell him just one moment and I'll look it up
>reach under the counter, pull out book
>begin looking it up
>in an instant, his entire demeanor changes
>Suddenly he is super-friendly and interested in me, and asks, I shit you not
>"Do you believe in our Lord and saviour Jesus Christ?"
>I give him the biggest arched eye-brow ever
>"Sir, I don't think that's an appropriate question while I'm working. I'm here to serve you and help you find the right product."
>He says he is aware, but would like to help me find Jesus if he can
>The customers behind him are either giggling, or looking at me and giving me the "Wow, he's crazy, I'm so sorry for you" look
>"Sir, I have no desire to find Jesus, but even if I did, this is not the time. If you'd like to have this discussion when I'm not working, that's completely different."
>He looks at me, but more like he's looking past me
>"Will you pray with me, son?"
>Acts as if he's going to pray, asks me to join him
>"Sir, I really need to help these other customers. Can I help you today or not?"
>Just as suddenly as he had changed demeanor, he changed back to 'normal'
>Asks: "So, did you find the right plugs yet?"
>Look up his part, check him out
>go back into the service bay, tell my supervisor who is a bro
>he laughs with me and tells me hes going to go pray with him
>he does
or he was roadtripping that day...
Shit was hilarious.

But now I work at a jail, so you can imagine the 'random encounters' I... er, encounter.
Do tell.
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>Go to foreign country
>Don't even bother finding out what their emergency number is
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>Car broke down, forced to ride shitty city buses.
>early morning, earliest the buses run anyway
>Get on, put my headphones in and and prepare for long ride
>In the seat across from me there's this couple sitting close holding hands about my age
>Guy is dressed casually, probably a college student
>Girl is wearing pajamas with fuzzy slippers... probably also college student. See that all the time here. Stupid cunts, put some real clothes on in public.
>They start getting closer to each other
>holding hands become a tight embrace
>Fuck are they making out?
>Yep. Furiously.
>They're really getting into it, the girl's juices are leading through her sweatpants.
>They start to feel each other up
>They start feeling each other up. Guy puts his hands up her sweatshirt and girl's hand goes down his pants.
>They do this for the entire time I was on the bus.
>Messing around on the computer, playing some F2P game
>Suddenly, hear noise beside me
>Look over to see a short, small girl in her early teens
>Like looking at an early black and white photograph
>Dressed in a pre-WW1 outfit
>Can see straight through her
>Suddenly, it seems she becomes aware of my presence
>She begins an extremely angry scream
>Only hear white noise (that high-pitched squealing sound)
>The little girl vanishes into thin air
>Yeah, no, I'm gone

I've got a few more via re-enactments, but nothing else dealing with ghosts.
Don't even know where to begin. Take your pick:

>crazy transient inmates
>violent inmates
>crazy violent inmates
>weird people that look like child molesters... that are in on charges of child molestation
>homosexual black inmates
>the list goes on
>Volunteer to help out during the 2012 election.
>Random dialer through computer
>Call people in my county and ask them to vote for X President and Y state initiatives.
>Every person I call is at least 80 years old.
>After an hour I get one guy who cuts me off in the middle of my spiel and tells me "how it really is." The government conspiracy to ruin to our schools, the Illuminati's influence behind the failing of the dollar, Obama's Islamic tendencies, and our "decrepit political system so corrupt our grandfathers would weep."
>"If only I could take control."
>"So I assume we can't count on your vote this Nov.6 ?"

and another nut case.

>Hello Mr. Johnson, can we count on your vote on Nov. 6
>Who is this?
>My name is Alex. I'm a volunteer on behalf of-
>How did you get my number?! HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!
>It was on the computer, sir.
>It begins...
No contact that you remember MOCKINGBIRD
This seems like the appropriate thread, do you guys think I should start volunteering at the Red Cross to lead a more interesting life? I'd like to go overseas and provide aid to shitholes in hopes one day everyone can have the same standard of living throughout the world, but I don't know if the Red Cross is the right organization for that.

Where the Red Cross helps those affected by a problem, I feel I'd be more inclined to stop and prevent the problem from even occurring.
Possible, if it was a Saturday or Sunday. He'd roam pretty far for a good party.
>this was all related
That picture is disturbingly appropriate.
Holy shit, /tg/, I just remembered mine.

Okay, so this one is pretty weird.

>be 14
>shooting a video for school
>in this gifted program thing, so basically get to do whatever the fuck I want all day and get good marks for it, because "creativity".
>friend is wearing a little girl's unicorn costume, I am video taping him walking around downtown
>don't fucking ask, man; we were weird
>I was in this ugly as shit, huge, second hand trenchcoat
>go into this alley, film bit of movie.
>this guy walks up to us, backpack, shades
>stares for a few minutes
>we're just standing in this back alley, minding our own business, feeling awkward as fuck because friend is half undressed (he decided to take off unicorn costume, but it was still half on)
>"So like, are you guys furries?"
>"Do you guys like wearing soft fabrics when you have sex?"
>more silence
>he's staring at us from behind his sunglasses
>"So...uhh...you guys wanna smoke some weed?"
>"N-no..no thank you."
>guy wanders off
>Friends and I weirded out, unicornfag gets changed
>film some more shit
>really wish we had recorded that conversation with weedguy
>See this fucking horse looking at use from around the corner
>Just stares at us
>fuckin' big, too. Never seen a horse up close.
>Then the rest of the horse comes 'round the corner
>Big fuckin' cop on a horse, staring at us
>We look guilty as fuck
>"Uhh...no, officer, uhh...we were just..uh...recording things for school"
>be 14 so freaking out
>Afraid he's going to see the unicorn costume.

He eventually left.
We ran so hard out of there.
I was always taught "Charity starts at home."

Go to the east coast and help those victims of Hurricane Sandy.
All of the above!
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B/c blacks are such a kind, gentle, benevolent people who would never do any harm.
Oh God. I had a similar experience.

>Working in a movie theater, first job
>Getting ready to change shifts, theater is packed
>Suddenly, ambulances everywhere
>Girl watching Titanic 3D had a heart attack
>That mess gets cleared up
>I'm cleaning the bathrooms, tan guy with glasses walks in
>"Events like that really shake you up"
>Yes they do, I respond
>"Have you been saved?"
>Thinking that I should run, seeing as that's not something you ask in a bathroom
>I believe in God, I respond
>"No, I'm asking if you've been saved. Will you pray with me?"
>Look at the time, figure I might as well kill a few minutes.
>Stand near the door while he prays, keeping my head bowed but watching him
>He finishes, I leave and go home
I got it. I will run up to some random person, ask them for a favor. I will give them a nerf gun with 100 bullets, and ask them to assassinate the man in the red fedora (A friend, of course) and his guards on some street a block or so from here. "He a single shot in the head will do. Just keep in mind that if you are shot, you will die a painful death." I will remind him he will be rewarded for his actions.

Once he gets there, he will find a guy in a red fedora lingering on a street corner, but surrounded by three other men in red baseball caps with nerf guns! If he shoots the "boss" in the head, he will win, but still be attacked by the bodyguards. Once he downs the guards, he can return to the "NPC" and get some random prizes.
>waiting at bus stop
>wearing black leather jacket, dark green akubra hat, olive green t shirt, a necklace with a anarchy A on a pendant, black pants, sunglasses,and black and dark green docs
>black woman next to me askes "do you think its alright?" in an accusing sort of way
>i look at her weird and ask what
>she says "to KILL me?"
>"then why did you take the job? i know he hired you to kill me."
>uh, im not here to kill you
>"dont you lie to me you little motherfucker"
>really, lady, im not going to kill you
>"just fucking do it already"
> i get up and buy a arizona in the walgreens near by and try to avoid her
>she followes me to where i was sitting and asks me about it again.
> i walk home
Fuck no. Charity is actually doing more harm than good to the African economies.

If you want to travel and help people at the same time, become a businessmen who sells machinery and equipment to African farmers at a fair price.
>First day in University in Adelaide (I'm from Cleveland)
>First time encountering Abbos
>"Ey, you got a smoke?"
>Just walk by
>45 year old white man walking behind me
>Abbos ask him for a smoke
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As a Floridian, I can confirm this.
>crazy transient inmates
>violent inmates
>crazy violent inmates
>weird people that look like child molesters... that are in on charges of child molestation
>homosexual black inmates
>the list goes on


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Clearly european.
I'll start from the top. This happened recently

>be in control tower of my house
>overlooks all the cells, I control the cell doors and the doors that allow entry into my house
>this particular house holds all the non-general pop maximum class inmates
>work night shift so no other inmates are outside of thier cells
>I let partner, who is a middle aged, small-average sized male, into the house, he's bringing in a new inmate to be housed
>when they get to the cell door I open it
>watching my partner like you're supposed to do
>the second the inmate attempts to go into his cell, the white guy that was already in there pushes him away, starts yelling
>my partner walks up to the crazy yelling guy
>hes getting more irate and louder
>gets so close to my partner that my partner pushes him back
>partner tries to pull out his cuffs, tells inmate to face the wall
>crazy guy wont back down
>can foresee in my mind a punch being thrown any moment
>call for backup on the radio
>multiple officers show up in seconds
>handcuff the guy without any punches being thrown
>put him in a holding tank
>didn't stop yelling/calm down for an hour and a half

Could have been a lot worse.
God damn, that story made me lol
I know, there needs to be seriouly industrial and agricultural improvements for there to be a lasting effect in Africa, but people just persist on sending them food and calling it a day.
> Be 20
>Go to cinema
>See shitty movie
>Retards start clapping in a CINEMA
>Pray for them all to die
>Guy in a gasmask walks out
>Tear gas and 12 gauge later on something faster
>12 out of 200 not bad.

Hope that they learned not to fucking clap on the fucking credits.
>Be in Library
>Library is open to public, often full of strange people, including black men with crippling addictions to manga
>Random blackman (Non-anime addict) appears in hall!
>"Is Ronald Regan dead?"
>"Uh, yeah."
>Wild Blackman has fled!
I like that mental image of a guy just keeping pace with a pack of bikes.

B/c we want to be around civilized men chimp.
Did you cut yourself on that edgy post? Because I hope it gets infected
>Walking through city, late afternoon, surprisingly quiet
>Double decker bus pulls up next to me
>Shadow forms next to my feet
>Suddenly, a dude in a trenchcoat and sunglasses, carrying a briefcase, lands almost on top of me
>Doesn't even seem aware that I exist
>He looks backwards for a few seconds before sprinting away towards the beach

I don't know what he was running for but he seemed pretty urgent to get somewhere.
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Those guys are blaming the victim.
Despicable, truly.
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Serious question:
Do you think that an unarmed space marine (not wearing a helmet) could walk around Detroit without getting mugged or having someone try to mug him?
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Gary is two towns over from me, shit is awful.
Like the history channel used it as an example of what the world would look like 50 years after the extinction of Man awful.
>violent inmates

>be months ago
>doing a cell search in a house of GP (general population) medium inmates
>find a shitton of extra stripes/sheets/rope made from sheets in a bag
>take bag and begin to head out of the house, happen to be in the middle of the house
>inmate walks up to my side, i notice him
>"Hey, cop!"
>turn toward him
>6'2" white dude in pretty good shape
>i had dealt with him earlier that day, he was very courteous and friendly, had asked me for toothpaste and a brush, thanked me when I had given it to him
>now he looks pissed off as fuck
>"You're taking my food, dude. What the fuck?"
>Tell him I didn't see any food in the bag, just other contraband
>"Look in there right fucking now, there's fucking food in there that I paid for, you can't fucking take it"
>He's clearly pissed as fuck
>contraband in one hand, other hand near my taser
>"I'm not going to do that right here in the middle of all you guys... but I'm going to leave the house, and check it, and give anything that you did buy back. But I have to leave to do that."
>He is still swearing, I just back away, unsure what he's gonna do.
>search the bag, there actually is food he bought with money off his books in there
>throw away contraband, leave bag with food there
>later, bring it back to him as he had been yelling and pounding on shit in his cell
>"I always keep my word, dude. But you can't call me out in the middle of the house like that, it's not how this place works."
>He tells me it was rare for him to meet a cop that kept his word, so he didnt trust me, but thanked me for not lying to him

I've seen other officers just let it get violent and then shit goes down, I'm glad I found a way to not let that happen.
He would last about 3 minutes, 4 minutes if he's smart.
Would you happen to live in São Paulo/Sao Paolo, Brazil, and that happened in january/february?
Is that a serious question?

Nobody would fuck with him once he crushed the first redgaurd like a grape who tried to steal his shiny armor bits.
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>Seeing movie in theaters
>Movie ends
>Need to piss really bad (Snuck a 2 liter of soda in which is now gone)
>Walk at a brisk pace towards public restrooms
>Normally don't like using them but I GOTTA FUCKIN PISS
>Walk in
>Some huge fat guy is standing at the urinals with his pants and underwear around his ankles
>The first thing I notice is his ass, which is the hairiest ass I have ever seen in my entire life. If you mixed Chewbacca with Rob Schneider in The Animal, you might get half of the hair on this dude's ass. I have no idea how this guy takes a shit without it becoming like a cheese grater... but with shit.
>He's standing there groaning in a deep, animalistic type voice like a neanderthal or some shit.
>Manage to hold my bladder until I get home and piss a waterfall. The image of that dude's hair ass weighs heavily on my mind like a curse.
But he knows that he'll get arrested and sentenced for life if he does that.
Add on some for racism and unauthorized possession of bizarre alien armor and he's facing another hundred years.
how the fuck would the cops even stop him

also its detroit, the only cop is robocop and a space marine could fuck him up
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He didn't mind propa hard men giving his old lady a bit of bellend either the benda.
>>Aussie then leaves, and the manager finally tells us that he was the GW CEO.

bull shit. the CEO of a british company wouldn't have an australian accent that thick.
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>From Germany

You poor man. You're used to order, sensibility, humanity and dignity. The worst species you've probably encountered are loud Italians and obnoxious turks.

The USA is completely different. Our states wrought with detrimental r-type species.
We need to make a ruleset for that.
GURPS Cathulhu?

I'd be all over that shit.
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>e girl I mentioned I was seeing a year later split up with me after she found out I'd cheated.

bah! Whore cheated on you first and used that as an opportunity to break up with a false sense of morality. Such is the way of women.
Oh that's perfectly normal.

Old couples argue all the time and try to get strangers to arbitrate their disputes.

>cute girl leans in close and whispers in your ear
>actually seems to want to talk to you
>possibly subtly implying shes an /a/non, crazy but possible that she read your thread

And you choose to flee?
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>shows everyone where he lives

Do your parents know you're online?
>unicorn costume
Like what are we talking here? Just a horn, or what?
people were feeding them
they recognize humans as pack leaders
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But it's my Home Sweet Home!
For once I actually have one.
>Making use of the toilet facilities in welly library, one stall is occupied. Guy walks in, goes into the empty stall, closes the door, uses it, steps out again and is walking towards the door when a broad Scots voice, murder rolling from every R, comes from the other one.
>"Do they no have indoor lavvies where you grew up? Go back an' flush you wee shite."
>Guy freezes, looks at me. I shrug, what does he want me to do about it?, and look at his unflushed stall without saying anything.
>He goes back in, flushes, heads back to the door when the voice comes again.
>"An' wash your hands too you grotty wee fuck."
At this point I left, cackling hysterically, but I assume he did as he was told, I know I would have.

This reminds me of a similar situation. I was living in Mass for most of '08 and working at McDonalds, as is befitting of a nineteen year-old high school drop-out, and I just got off the over night shift. It was about 6:30 to 7:00 am, I'm cold, I'm tired, and my feet hurt. Some dude just drive up and offers me a ride. I weigh my sense of self-preservation and my fatigue against each other, and decide to get in because the guy seemed legit.

We had a bit of stilted (due to me being so damn tired) conversation and he dropped me off at home. It worked out better than expected, except I forgot my keys and had to crawl in through the window. I told my girlfriend at the time about it later and she got super pissed off at me.

Still, sometimes it pays to get into cars with strangers.
someone would try and then get acid spat all over them.

Full suit, for like a 5 year old girl.

Somehow it fit. Don't ask how.

The worst part is I ended up losing all evidence that we were ever downtown that day, so no unicorn vids.

Poor confused kids are gonna chuck those nuts even harder.
I've had and have been the random encounter before, but the the time i was the encounter is probably funnier.
>be 17, walking back from mate's around 4
>carrying a (blunt) katana back that we'd been using as a prop
>dark already, snow errywhere
>some kids yelling at me, cussing me.out
>obviously didn't notice the sword
>draw sword, pointing at the ringleader
>"Should any one of you be able to hit me with a snowball i shall spare your lives"
>Sheath sword, turn to face away
>wait for it...
>duck to the side, spin and step left, dodging two snowballs.
>draw sword again
>well aimed snowball inbound
>Slice the fucker in half
>they fucking legged it.
>good day
>Out halloween night at a block party with my friend
>This guy is batshit and I know it, but we've been friends for a long time so I deal
>We're walking around, all of a sudden some dude runs up to us
>"Dude, you fucked Somesuch McCantRememberName's Girlfriend?"
>Look to my friend
>He's fucking pale as shit
>See people coming at us through the crowd
>We start trying to get lost in the crowd
>Run past some dudes starting a fight
>Lose the followers in the commotion
>Think we're fine
>See more angry looking dudes coming the otherway down the street
>Duck into alleyway
>Comes out on the other end of town (tiny fucking town)
>Make our way back to the party
>On our way we see like 20 dudes in a line with their shirts off standing in the way
>I am not a fighter, but my friend steps up and starts trying to scare 'em off
>Crit fail
>Running through the party
>I escape, lose my friend
>Come back around to the other end of the street and wait to see if he comes back
>Hear yelling behind me
>Turn around and see black dude with his pants around his thighs booking it out of a store with arms full of chip bags
>Go back to waiting for friend to show up
>Cops show up to look into robbery
>While they're talking to the store owner the black guy runs past again screaming with the chips in a backpack, which he is now carrying
>Nobody chasing, just running, right past the store he just robbed
>Runs into an alley way
>Cops run after him
>I know that the alleyway doesn't go anywhere
>Here the guy shout "No!" Then blue flash and screaming
>He got tased
>My friend shows up and asks what happened
>We go back to his house and sleep

That was also the first time I smoked pot and my friend implied that it took him so long to get back because he was getting laid. That was the last year they had that block party because apparently on top of the robbery, there were like 3 rapes, 14 fights and a couple hospital trips.
Yes. Just yes.
I've seen it discussed here before, that's why I mentioned it. I think it's an actual thing.
.......North Shore society is dead.
And the time i had a random encounter

>be 16 with 2 friends
>having a chat, leaning on rail by river
>i'm describing the time i saw some geese fighting a swan
"My mate killed a swan once"
>slowly turn
>skinhead in full leather right behind us, looks unhinged
>both friends are just sitting there like "oh fuck"
>i ask him to continue
>explain about how he and his mate had been fishing, and his mate had beaten a swan to death with the pole.
>they'd then had a boat chase with the cops
>abruptly ends the story with "yeah haven't seen him in a while, still waiting for.him to get out of..."
>pauses wistfully, staring aross river
>I interject with "Prison"
"YEAH! How'd you know?"
>"lucky guess?"
>He just grins, and jumps.over the rail
>lands in a small boat
>we leave
>"the fuck just happened?"
I was a random encounter once.

I was walking home from a little video project about Slenderman. Of course, being the tall and skinny fuck that I am, I was picked to be Slenderman. As I was walking home I saw a group of three stoners wandering around the town.

They see me, and freak the fuck out. I get a devious idea, and long story short I get to play Slender from the perspective of Slenderman for the next two hours.
Dayum, that is what you call a cluster senior prank.
you sick fuck!
good job
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One of my friends was heading home from a party when a stranger approaches her, carrying a box of corn flakes. The stranger proceeds to ask her the time, she checks her phone and starts to answer when: "It's CORN FLAKE TIME!" stranger throws corn flakes all over her and runs off into the night.

I work at a bar and so have a few strange stories, but this is my favorite.

We'd just got done kicking everyone out of the bar and off the property and all us security guards were starting our nightly cleanup(not that much really, mainly just taking all the garbage out), someone goes to get all the glasses out of the men's room and immediately starts complaining about the smell.

Now, normally the bathrooms smell pretty bad after a busy night, but this is just horrendous, the unmistakable stench of human feces. None of the toilets are backed up, no one's pooped on the floor, so we're a little confused-until someone opens the mop closet to grab some trash bags.

There's a man standing in the mop closet, shirtless, with poop stains all over his pants and torso. There's poop on the floor, on the door, on the walls, on the mops and brooms and everywhere.

We're of course collectively WTFing when this guy starts accusing us of locking him in the closet for over three ours. I know this is untrue as I had had to use mops several times that night, one less than 45 minutes before, as well as the door being unlocked, and able to be unlocked from the inside.

We try to convince him to just leave, but he's so drunk he just keeps screaming at us and standing in our bathroom. One of the bar managers is yelling at him at this point.
"What would your friends think about this?"

'I'm not going to tell my friends!'

"I'm going to tell them, and everyone else!"

I realize that this is not going to end well and go out to the beer garden and enter the bathroom from the side door, standing behind the guy.
Of course I was

Not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rome, but
Gary, Indiana.
The Manager is still yelling at him,
"You can't come back to this bar until you buy some depends!"
and other disparagements, and this guy decides to take a swing at him, barely grazes his head and hits the wall. I tackle him from behind, the manager and one other security guard tackle him from the front, and another one calls the cops. My manager says the line of the year right then:

"You throw a punch like you take a shit, all over the place."

Now let me tell you, it's not the easiest thing in the world to willingly hold down a (rather large, muscular) man covered in poop; but to have to do it while losing your sides is even harder.

The cops show up, handcuff him, take him outside, and give him one of those shiny blankets (it was the middle of winter), and debate what to do with him. They eventually call his dad, who comes from three towns over; the guy tries to give them back the blanket but they refuse.

And with that the Poop Bandit climbs into the bed of his dad's pick up drives away into legend.
fucking woah
>be at some subway station in berlin
>only people are me, a buddy and a hobo with crutches
>roll up a cig, waiting for the train
>hobo turns around, asks me for some tobacco
>i gladly give him the almost empty pouch
>he thanks me profusely and says he prefers rolling tobacco for his joints instead of opening a "normal" cig
>i concur
>skip a few hours
>meet him again at another station
>say hi, ask if he's had that stick yet
>he has, I invite him to another one
>we roll up in a photo-booth
>light up on a bench at a tram-station, surrounded by people
>he tells me about his life
>lots of crazy shit
>his hand is fubar from an accident with a self-made table saw
>his legs are rotting away from some strange disease
>over-all he has seen a lot of shit, but managed to keep his good spirits
>overall a pretty cool guy
>he laters tells me where to quickly score in berlin
>disappears into the night
>most likely a nutcase
>still, made me appreciate the good things I have a lot more
>hope he hasn't frozen to death one of those nights

Falco, ich danke dir...
man I'd be tempted to just sit there and shoot the shit with him till he got off

Yea, was a strange day,
most of them are great quality.

turns out 5 months later, that a fiend of mine is dating a guy who is living at rogers, and I have to help them move.

He remembers me, asks how they are working, and is a pretty cool guy, those were his extras from his collections, and he shows me a room FULL wall to wall with mint records
>fiend of mine
seems like there's more than you let on
No, bears did that.

Dude. It's fucking Detroit. Did you not see Robocop?

Well it was a typo BUT,

She single-handedly convinced my gf of two years at the time, to break up with me, because all I wanted was sex.

To this day she still wants me back and tells me she misses my dick, and wishes that we had had sex, and that I am the biggest she had seen.

My only comment, If I was so sex crazed, why didn't I fuck her/was still a virgin

Oh man, I love Beasts of Burden! It's a great comic.

> /tg/:
> Storytime
> Better /x/ than /x/
> Missed connections

Why would you need other boards and also Craigslist?
Wait, ex gf wants you back, or what?

I'm tired as shit, so if this question is retarded, just say so.

Yes indeed.
Won't waste my time with her though.
I keep reading this post and taking it out of context. It's fantastic.
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>mfw I read that in John DiMaggio's voice
We also do /d/ better than /d/ and /sci/ better than /sci/.
Why indeed?

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