Your chosen name is: Freyda Flatchest, Chosen Race: Skeleton.Stats -Str: 10Dex: 10Con: 14Cha: 10Int: 10Wis: 10Chosen Main Quest -BECOME THE NEW BONE LORD(Lady)Current Situation:After waking up from your crypt to find you have no memory of your past life you wandered in to the town you were buried near. Once in the town square you pondered the mechanics of how a skeleton can move and think without a brain before being interrupted by a local man. He offered you information on the plague that affected you and various others as well as offered you clothing and directions on finding work. You were promptly kicked out of his home after a tirade of puns and stood in the town square for hours silently waiting for the pub to open. Ignoring the mans advice on getting work you decided to seduce and rob the first man you met with an "interest" in the undead. You met a shy man who shared your passion for wordplay but ran off when you rattled him with your bones. You followed him to the cemetery you came from to find him crying on a headstone. You approached him and asked "Do you have a boner?" To which he responded with a weak smile: "I'd show you my coccyx but you'd probably just laugh."What do you do now?
>>22914902Flirt lightly.Then serious the fuck up, gesture at the headstone and ask him if he needs some time alone or if he wants to talk about it.
>>22914902Hold his hand, listen to his woes, and be sympathetic.
>>22914938If you still had a face you'd be slyly smiling. Instead you approach the young man, and put your bony hand on his shoulder and gaze in to his eyes and softly ask him if he needs some time alone, you flirtatiously add that you're available for conversation if he'd rather talk.He responds:"N-no I'm fine, I'm fine. I just... I'm not very good with people-- er, well you get it. . I uh, my name's Bartleby. Sorry for running off..."
>>22914988Laugh like he made a joke, tell that you're not exactly people anymore. Say that you're sorry for scaring him off, you can be pretty spooky at times.Ask him if he want to hang out, for a while at least.
>>22914988Tell him it's fine, introduce yourself (making sure to pronounce your name properly), ask if he'd like to take a seat somewhere before continuing.
>>22915004You have a slight chuckle, and apologize for scaring him off by being too spooky for him. You add that you're not exactly personable yourself, but if he'd like you two could hang out for a little bit.He responds:"I suppose... I mean if you're alright with it I mean. So uh... what's your name? Where are you from? Have you been... risen... for long?"
>>22915043Tell him that you're new to this life, and really could use a friendly face (since you have none) to chat with. He's kinda cute and seemed to take interest in us, so we kinda naturally hoped you'd want to spend time with us.Inch closer while you're talking
>>22915043We used to be a hooker in this town, got the plague and died, and now we're here.He can call us Jenny.
>>22915030You tell him you're the one who suggested hanging around so of course it's fine. You tell him your name making sure to pronounce it "FLATCHest" so as to avoid confusion. You say you have no recollection beyond your name, and you just "woke up" this morning.He looks to the side nervously and mumbles: "Oh yeah? that's really cool... I'm not from around here myself." And then he adds quietly to himself "ohmanohmanhowdoImakesmalltalk. I'msogonnascrewthisup."He then laughs and cracks a shaken smile.
>>22915088Ask if he wouldn't mind telling a complete stranger who's curious where he IS from, and why he's come here.
>>22915088Reassure him that you like insecure men. Ask what he's doing in the town.
>>22915068You begin innocently flirting and inching closer to the boy and he begins to shake and sweat."Uh! Ahem-- You know I'm the gravediggers son, I could help you find out who you are... maybe if you want?"
>>22915098Before you ask him for any favors you decide to get to know him better, you ask him where he's from and why he's in town."Well uh... my real dad died in the plague when I was only 6, and my mom got sent to a refuge camp near the town. She met my step-dad there and the rest is history, heh."
>>22915115>'Really? Truth to be told I don't remember anything about my family or friends, so I was planning to hang around the cemetary and hope other skeletons would wake up'
>>22915144This is a lie, btw, but he doesn't need to know all our plans.
>>22915144You tell him you hadn't considered looking up your past, you planned on just meeting up with other undead as they woke up from their naps."But the next one to wake up could be months from now! You'd be by yourself until who knows how long! W-why would you want to be alone--" he catches himself before he finishes the thought, obviously his statement could have been interpreted as flirtatious and he doesn't seem able to bring himself to break the ice.
>>22915185>'Oh, that's sweet of you, you're offering me a place to stay? Great, I don't have money or anything so I really need a roof over my head. How I can ever repay your kindness?'
>>22915198You respond knowingly, and cunningly.Roll 1d20 for bluff check.
Rolled 7>>22915239Come on dice, don't fail me now!
>>22915257You have rolled a 7 with a charisma modifier of +0, your bluff has failed."I wish I could help. I really do... but I don't know if my mom would approve of a guest... I could ask around though! I'm sure somebody would be happy to put you up! But I don't think I can sweet talk anyone in to free room and board..."
>>22915283"Thanks, that's be great. Not that I especially need the "board" part, though."
>>22915283Bummer. We could work for our upkeep, and we eat very little (none, to be exact). Ask him does he need help digging graves, besides it might be a great way to meet new friends
>>22915300>>22915309You respond appreciatively, and add jokingly that you don't think you'd need anything beyond a place to stay, what with the whole no need for food. You ask him if his family business needs any aid in digging graves, suggesting that it'd probably help with the wait if you could meet new people through work."I'll ask my dad!" he quickly responds with a smile. "I usually help him but, he only seems to ask me because no one else wants to do it. I'm not exactly cut out for the 'family business' seeing as I uh... have a... f-f-ondness for the unliving..." He then looks up at the sky and notices the position of the moon. "Oh jeez, I- I gotta go. My mom would kill me if she knew I was out after the pubs been closed. It was a pleasure meeting you Freyda, if you want you can meet me here tomorrow, I'll bring my dad!" and with those words he runs off in to the night.You are now alone in the graveyard. exits are north in to town, or north east in to the sewers below town.
always into the sewers
>>22915363Back into town, look around for more of your kind.
>>22915363Try to find people who might remember you in town, start from the hooker street.
>>22915434Deciding that since you have nothing better to do, you head in to the sewers.You are now in the sewers below the town. You can hear water dripping in the distance and a slight hum from ahead and to the left. If you still had a nose this place would probably smell awful. Small rats and vermin crawl around by your feet.The sewer heads straight ahead where the path branches to the left and further ahead.
>>22915434I don't think that our family lived in sewers...
>>22915472Let's not, we don't want to perpetuate racial stereotypes by living in a dungeon.
>>22915472Make plans to go on a date with Bartleby tomorrow night after meeting his dad. We need something better to wear than rags, go check the local homeless shelter.
>>22915476>>22915496Not liking the appearance of the sewer and disliking the idea of adhering to stereotypes, you decide to...>>22915437>>22915470Go back in to town to look for more of you kind, for some reason you have a sneaking suspicion you'll find some on "Hooker Street" but you haven't the foggiest where that is, you should probably ask a local.You are now in the town square, to your left is the weapons and armor shop, to your right is the now closing pub. Drunks are pouring out of the pub by the dozens. Ahead is the main road to the residential district and Guild Hall.
>>22915528Leave the pubs area, and look around for anyone with their skeletons on the outside. Shouldn't be too hard to spot.
>>22915545You decide you're not going to get any info from the drunks and begin meandering down the only road you know of, on the lookout for fellow undead of course. You walk a ways before meeting a large building surrounded by homes and a road that forks east and west. There's a sign on the front of the large structure reading: "Guild Hall: Open 24 Hours! Take a class, gain some skills."
>>22915528Sing a traditional skeleton mating call, that'll lure them to you.
>>22915596Oh yes, time to earn some money. Hire yourself as a training dummy to aspiring warriors, offer skeleton handjobs under the table to make some extra dosh.
>>22915596Go in, sign up for a class in economics.
>>22915602Having just been awoken earlier this week you're unfamiliar with traditional calls for undead. You attempt to sing a song but it is horribly off key. One of the inhabitants of a nearby home yells out his window "Hey! People are trying to sleep you crumb bum!">>22915613You enter the Guild Hall, looking to make some coin. You approach the counter in the main lobby and you are greeted with a bell and an empty chair behind the counter. There's a makeshift sign reading "Ring the bell for service, we will be with you as soon as possible." There are two halls with many doors to either side of you.
>>22915660Take a look around before signing into anything. Go to the left hall.
>>22915710Any reason you don't want to just ring the bell on the off-chance someone shows up? (Which is incidentally what I suggest we do first off.)
>>22915725Random encounters, basically. Maybe we get a sneak peek of something we shouldn't be seeing.
>>22915745Eh, fair enough. Delay ringing the bell for a bit, then, but don't forget to look around for more helpful signage.
>>22915710You decide to peruse your options before signing up for anything and head to the hall on your left. You pass a few doors each with [Course Names] written on them. You Reach a dead end eventually and stop to recount all the courses in the hall.1.Magic And You: From Pyro to Geo, A -Mancy for any Nancy.2.Picking Pockets and Getting Away With It3. Sword Boarding 1014. "Economics"5. One-Man-Banding6. Holy Words to Kill By7. Fists, Rage, and Battle Axes.8. Do Not Enter: Teachers and Guild Leader Only.As you stand and think a man comes out of the Economics room, and begins to approach you. "Hey! gotta tell you, that's the best class to pick, hands down worth every cent I lost by not working today. Trust me, though I can teach you it all in half the time if you just pay me--." He then looks more closely at you. "Oh... wait. You've just been raised, I can tell. No point conning someone who doesn't have a cent on them. Honestly though, if you're looking for the easy route to talking your way to cash that course is for you." He then walks off disgruntled that he didn't get to flex his new skills.
>>22915820>dead endHaw!Pick 8, feign that you can't read if someone notices.
>>22914902>implying skeletons have a Con score
>>22915820>Pyro to Geo>not Abaco to ZygoStill, would be nice to get a primer on our new body, perhaps ring the bell and ask if they're doing a necromancy course any time soon.
>>22915856You make sure the strange man has left and sneakily attempt to peek inside the 8th door. As you open the door an overwhelming sense of dread overcomes you and the door flings open.A large Broad shouldered Swamp Elf, dressed in dark plate armor walks out the door. and looks at you with disdain, behind him you can see nothing but a black abyss and can hear animalistic howls of pain. The elf says to you "Can't you read?" You shrug and feign ignorance. The elf slams his fist against the wall. "Listen numbskull, you can't go in there." he then slams the door, pulls out a keyring and locks the door. He then backs away to the 7th door, as he enters he motions two fingers towards his eyes then points them at you to indicate that he is watching you.
>>22915897Nah, 8 is obviously where they teach the super secret club courses.
>>22915933Aww shucks. Since we don't have any money for the courses we should try to become an assistant, that way we'd earn some and even get free training. Start with something simple, follow the berserker elf and apologize.
>>22915897Rattled by the encounter you decide the best course of action is to learn some necromancy. If only to get a better handle on being undead. You head back to the main lobby and ring the bell. Suddenly an orc in a garish robe materializes in front of you."Y'ello, How Might I help you? if you're here to choose a class I have a full course guide here. Be aware that although the beginning courses are free of charge, community outreach and all that, you'll have to pay for the more advanced courses."
>>22915983Explain that you just got raised, and you wanted to find out about your present condition. You figured this would be the best place.
>>22915983Lucky! Check out the necromancy course, inquire what 'economy' is about.
>>22916003You tell the man that you're a recently awakened undead, and you wish to learn more about that sort of thing. You figured this would be the place to go."Mmmyes... You do realize that necromancy has been outlawed since the plague right? Your best bet would be to learn how to... ahem.. dispose of your own kind from the cleric course down the hall on the left. I suppose that's not exactly what you're looking for though."
>>22916034(Not narrating) just as a reminder your racial ability as a skeleton player allows you to raise one skeleton per level as a servant, meaning you have a latent necromantic ability.
>>22916034>'That's racist.'Shame him into giving you some freebies.
>>22916034Hn. Pity. You'd still like to understand a little more, though. Is there a class on arcane constructs in general?In his professional opinion, would there be any way at all for you to return to life?Also, make a note to attend the cleric course, if only to understand how to avoid getting blammed by an overly trigger-happy cleric.
>>22916050Will this be an intelligent skeleton like you, or just regular one?
>>22916034Check out economy, a solid understanding of money is necessary to being a successful lord after all.
>>22916079That guy told the course is not free, and we have little to no money.>>22916069Also: how big is this skeleton helper? Can be a skeleton dog (Nightmare before christmas) or we can raise a dragon skeleton?
>>22916092>That guy told the course is not free, and we have little to no money.The beginner courses are free, which seems enough for now, really
>>22916092Yeah, what are beginner courses and which ones you have to pay for?
>>22916060You bring up the fact that the policy he described is discriminatory towards your people."Hey, I don't make the rules...lady?">>22916062"Oh of course we have an artificer course, I suppose the concept is similar to your affliction. It'd cost you 500 coin though. Also, as far as I know there's no cure for the plague that doesn't involve redieing.">>22916069(not narrating)Intelligent and capable of disagreeing and autonomy, but incapable of resisting your will. Essentially they can piss and moan or try and talk you out of things, but at the end of the day you're the boss.>>22916092(Again not narrating)The man who left the course was trying to con you in to paying him to teach you at twice the speed, he was a student not a teacher. Also the skeleton is the size of whatever it belonged to.>>22916112>>22916115(Once again not narrating)All of the courses I already listed were the free of charge ones.
Rattle me bones.
>>22916127Hmm. Suppose it can't hurt to take the basic course for now. Is there a schedule for when all the classes are?
>>22916127Study Economics, it's like putting money in bank.
>>22916143You ask if there's a schedule for what courses are open when, the orc responds:"We have a constant rotation of teachers so all courses are open twenty four hours a day, seven days a week."
>>22916172Whoa. That's pretty awesome. How'd a system like that get set up in the first place?
>>22916127>Intelligent and capable of disagreeing and autonomySweet, the first step to becoming a Boner Lord is to get some minions. We'll persuade Bartleby to take the big step and join the undead ranks, he's going to be our right hand man husbando.
>>22916193>not having Bartleby as our hand among the living>wasting valuable resources
>>22916201>not having sweet skeleton husbando
>>22916183Fascinated by the work ethic of the Guild Hall you ask how they began. The orc sighs and responds:"Look slim, we may have a constant rotation of teachers, but I'M on loan from a different plane until they reconstruct their secretary golem. And I was sleeping before you rang that bell. Please just pick a course."
>>22916233Shit, sorry. We'll let him get back to what he was doing.I'm thinking either magics or clerics for now, but apparently some guys want "economics"?
>>229162334 or 1, we don't have aptitude for music so 5 is out, teacher of 7 hates us already, we want to be respectful citizen so no to 2, swords are for saps and 7 is just being a race traitor.
>>22916259*6 is betraying your roots, that is.
>>22916274Know yourself and know your enemy, and you may fight a hundred battles without fear.
>>22916167>>22916013>>22916250>>22916259You decide to see what all this "Economics" hubub is all about."Ah... interesting choice. I wouldn't peg you for a merchant. Okay lemme just page the teacher and I'll buzz you in." The orc then snaps his fingers and a small orange ball of light zips by in to the "Economics" room, a blue light returns. He then claps his hands and a cushy chair erupts from beneath you and you find yourself being propelled in to the room."Good luck!" says the orc as he vanishes once more and you whizz away.You are now in a classroom, faced with a Kobold covered in exotic jewelery."Whoa, hey! Welcome to Economics" He performs air quotes with his clawed fingers. "Just between you and me the daytime teach is a goody two shoes, all about 'Fair Deals' and that kinda junk. But me? I'm all about makin' money and I can tell you are too." He then throws you a text book and begins a monologue about customers being saps.You learn how to seal deals and wheel fortunes. for the next few hours.You have chosen the class: Shady Merchantyou gain a +2 to your charisma rolls regardless of your charisma statYou gain the class skill: Con Artist - You can forgo a lengthy dialogue and roll 1d20+ Cha modifier to scam people out of their money, however you must offer an item in return and a named price. Bonuses and penalties apply based on how reasonable your price is in comparison to actual value of item.(And now for a temporary break while I grab some food from my local fast food place.)
>>22916344We CAN change classes if we want to, right?
>>22916344aLONG WITH OUR ABILITY TO SUMMON SKELETONS WE CAN MAKE AN UNDEAD CORPORATION! RULE THE WORLD THROUGH "ECONOMICS"
>>22916353Pfft, why would we want to? This town is a pussy, just waiting to be fucked by the Bone Lord Lady.Next step: skeleton sweatshops.
We need to create a Deep Rot-powered stock exchange.
>>22916423We need a minion. How about a skeleton with scales for hands?
WaitWe are a "businessman"We can create mindless workers from practically nothingAre you guys thinking what I'm thinking?>Undead Slavery, ho!
>>22916353(still at food locale)you will be able to change classes at any guild hall, however it will cost 1/3 of your levels and you can only keep one skill from your previous class.
>>22916574Do lost levels round down?If so, we might as well multiclass into merchant from something else for the free skill.
>>22916574DECIDE THAT WITH OUR NEW FOUND SKILLS WE WILL GAIN MORE MONEY AND TAKE MORE "ECONOMICS" CLASSES UNTIL WE FORM A SKELETON CORPORATION.
>>22916477Yeah, we can raise a reasonable minion (search at the graveyard for a orc, giant or some big hulky creature) and we can use our newly learned technique to sell its handwork.We can put him to dig graves, or pick crops or some menial task, charge money and such. We will become the boner lady enterprise business!
We need to quickly acquire bracer of infinite blades, bag of tricks, wizard levels, or some other way of manufacturing infinite items.HELLO SIR, WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY A CAMEL?
>>22916628>We will become the boner lady enterprise business!Bare bones outsourcing inc.capcha: printing ssedoh. Yeah, capcha, we need to print flyers and publicity.
I say sign up for a battery of classes, Barding (we have natural maracas, and a xylophone too!), Economics, Snowboarding (why the fuck not), and Cleric stuff too. This is going spine tinglingly well.
We should start with offering inexpensive burial services and branch out from there. We could simply reanimate the dead to dig their own graves, perhaps hire Bartleby as the regional manager to oversee the day-to-day administration.
>>22916725Hell, we could do the whole mining shebang, reanimate bullettes and umber hulks to dig for precious metals! Create cheap, affordable housing built by skeletons, with grinding skeletons into mortar!
>>22916721o snap I posted before I got to the very bottom, my bad. I bet if we all put our skulls together, this outsourcing corperation will be the bone-diggedy. Wouldn't the fact that necromancy is outlawed bone us in the end, though?
>>22916920Whatr you talking 'bout, numbskull? You got a bone to pick with me?
>>22916593Changing Classes Explained(so I don't have to make a plethora of posts): You do not gain a bonus skill while changing at level 1. Changing classes takes time, if it was day when you started it becomes night and vice versa. When changing classes above level one it will cost 1/3 of your level rounded to the nearest integer and all stat gains from those lost levels will be reversed. You can only have 1 bonus skill, if you change classes multiple times you can keep your previous bonus skill or gain a new one from your most recent class. I will try my best to design skills that have equal utility but different stat pools so as to create some semblance of structure and balance.Any Questions?
>>22917059NONE LETS DO THIS
>>22916344You step outside the Guild Hall to find it is day now. You recall having made plans to meet Bartleby at the graveyard come morning. The residential streets are busy and full of potential suckers to purchase... your only inventory item: 1 [Flask] filled with 1/3 day old coffee and 2/3 day old ale.
>>22917105We sell to the next fucker we found.We promote it as a new brand beverage, orange bull. Or red cow. Or something in between.We charge thrice the cost of the ale.
>>22917105CREATE A SKELETON TO DO A TWO MAN CON. THEN DISCUSS A PLAN OF ATTACK ON HOW TO SELL THE FLASK
>>22917135There are no available corpses from which to raise a skeletal minion.>>22917130You dash up to the first person you can find and accost them to purchase your wonderful new beverage, they seem startled but intrigued.If you wish to use [Con Artist] Name a price (xxxG) and roll 1d20
>>22917168DO WE KNOW THE PRICE OF ALE?
>>22917195You do not know the price of ale, you happened to steal the ale from Bartleby after he ran away from you at the pub.
>>22917214[CON ARTIST] GOOD DAY! WE'VE GOT A NEW DRINK TO MAKE YOU GAIN STAMINA AND CURE DROWSINESS FOR ONLY 6G!
>>22917247Roll 1d20 for success.
Rolled 2>>22917247Forgot the rolling
>>22917264Ok, this mean we totally fucked up this, right?Can we try again with another fucker.
>>22917264You have rolled 2 +2 Shady Merchant Bonus, +3 reasonable price bonus, for a total of 7. You have failed to convince this stranger to buy your swill.They look at you blankly, and walk away as if you defecated in their breakfast.>>22917281Your spectacle has drawn the attention of the morning crowd and your failure to sell reflects poorly on you as a saleswoman. If you wish to make another attempt you must either go to a new locale or wait for a different crowd.
Rolled 18>>22917313go to the graveyard and try to summon a skeleton for a two man con
>>22917334look for a gravemarker with a particularly witty or smart sounding phrase or name.
>>22917334Our new guy must learn a speech about how our beverage saved him from the plague and keep his bone white and hard.
>>22917334Disheartened by your mishap you head to the graveyard to meet up with Bartleby and hopefully dig up an accomplice.You are now in the graveyard, You see Bartleby standing with a gruff looking older man. Bartleby turns to you and greets you with a shy smile and a wave, the older mand looks at bart, then at you, then back at bart. He finally has a long drawn out sigh. Bartleby waves you over."Freyda! You made it! I'd uh... this is my dad!"The gruff man turns to you and reaches out for a handshake and says:"Marcus, Marcus Gravelfoot. Bartleby did not mention you were of the undead."
>>22917390We prefer the term Unliving actually, we like to think of ourselves as redead. Could i interest you in come Calfeee? It's the newest revitalisation drink and of great use to men of your profession!
>>22917405You suggest a more politically correct term for you race, and offer him your flask. You can give it to him for free, or you can use [Con Artist] once more.
Rolled 4>>22917410I prefer the orange cow brand.>>22917432We try again the [con artist] thing.
Rolled 11>>22917432[con artist] for 6g
>>22917390Give him a firm handshake and say "and he did not mention you're of the beard-ed! Im Freya, very nice to meet you sir.
>>22917459You have rolled 11 +2 Shady Merchant bonus, +3 Reasonable Price Bonus for a total of 16. You have succeeded in the sale.Marcus tosses you 6 coins and takes the [Flask]. He then takes a swig."This tastes like crap, but I've got to admit it puts a pep in my step. Bartleby you could learn from your boney friend.">>22917484You shake the mans hand finally and introduce yourself via pun. Bartleby stifle a laugh in front of his old man.Marcus then states:"My boy tells me you're looking for work, I'm willing to give you some. It doesn't pay well and I can't promise it'll be steady, but I'll pay you 50g per grave dug."Bartleby looks at you and whispers: "If you can give me some time I can find you a better job, but until then this is the best I can do..."
>>22917432Try to get him interested in a joint funerary service venture.
>>22917533Promise him stiffs for all the graves he can dig, start recruiting potential customers. Check the hospital first.
Rolled 8>>22917533Pull [CON ARTIST] check and convince him to raise our salary to 100g?
>>22917566We'll persuade people to die, then offer their grieving relatives inexpensive burial service.
Rolled 9>>22917544Summon a skeleton with sass to help out.
>>22917585Or even better, if someone wants some people to disappear we'll do it for them and ensure that they won't come back - we'll fill the graves with cement.
>>22917566>>22917585This and This
>>22917585>>22917566>>22917544/tg/ you are a bunch of fucking psychos! Lets do it.
>>22917544>>22917566>>22917566>>22917605You propose a business venture to gruff man, a joint project. You say you'll do all the legwork, picking up the bodies, creating corpses, you know fill the coffins, and then arranging the funeral services. Marcus doesn't seem to pleased with the proposal."This is a family run business, I can understand your position though. However, I promised my old man I'd run it the way he wanted and hand it off to my next of kin, but since Bartleby isn't suited for the work the only one left to run it is my blood daughter, and she's not old enough to bury people yet.">>22917572Barring that failure you attempt to negotiate a pay raise. You rolled an 8 +2 +3 giving you 13.Moderate success."I'll raise your pay if your prove yourself useful. Until then however, my original offer stands."
>>22917643summon a skeleton to be able to do twice the work.
>>22917643"Thank you very much, I assure you I will meet, if not exceed you expectations. And from what I've seen, your boy is very smart, you should be proud of him. I would love to meet your daughter as well, she sounds like a quality person as well. When does work start, sir?"[spoiker] we should probably kill him to gain control of this graveyard, and eventually, the world! [/spoiler]
>>22917643Ehh, let's get shoveling then, at least it'll give us a chance to bond with Bartleby.
>>22917704You thank the man for his offer of work and express interest in his family, as well as flatter Bartleby. You ask when he'd like you to start working."Immediately. I have 3 bodies in the morgue that need to be buried by morning. You dig all three graves by sundown and I'll bump up your pay." He then throws you a [Shovel] and points you towards an empty plot."Get diggin', I got paperwork to fill out for the corpse handling."Marcus then walks off in to town leaving you and Bartleby alone. Bartleby looks to the sky and begins whistling nervously.
If we summon another female skeleton of about the same height as us, put our clothes on her, and have her work in our stead, be probably wont be able to tell the difference. The trick would be convincing her that her name is Freya Flatchest too
>>22917785>The trick would be convincing her that her name is Freya Flatchest tooWe don't need to convince her. We order her to answer she is us working.
>>22917766Start digging. While digging, offhandedly say "you know, what I said about you, to your dad, is true" seductively glance at him over your shoulder
>>22917785That's not a bad idea, then we could start surreptitiously upping the graveyards workload.If there happens to be a large rise in mortalities (of various natures) then the graveyard will be busier and he'll need our help more, leading to more money and more responisbilty in the company. That way we could angle into a taking over.
>>22917766Tell Bartleby to start on the hole, we'll have to make a quick stop at the morgue. Animate one of the dead to dig their own grave.
>>22917815We should be nice though, so she doesn't go "yeeeeeeah sureeee I'm Freya" and rolls her eyes. Honey gathers more flies than vinegar, and rotting, undead honey would get a whole fuckton of flies
>>22917829We need to gain more levels so we can animate more than one skeleton at a time, so let's get our shady merchant skills up. We could start selling snakeoil medicines to sick people, that way we'll increase the profit of the graveyard at the same time.
>>22917785(Just as clarification you can't SUMMON skeletons, just raise them. As in you require a corpse in your possession first.)>>22917817You take your shovel in hand and begin digging in the empty plot. After a few moments, you glance over at Bartleby, who is sitting on top of a headstone trying not to look like he's eying you. You tell him that your flattery was actually genuine and he blushes."Heh, you really think so?"after he finishes asking you feel your shovel hit something. Something hard. You look in to the hole that you've been digging and notice a very ornate coffin that should not be there, on the lid is a nameplate: "Rykers Flatchest, Brother dearest."
>>22917894raise Rykers! hooray our own family business!
>>22917894>FlatchestOh, a familiar meeting! This will be an cute and touching, I can feel it in my bones.
>turning yet another quest into husbando shitFor fucks sake, /tg/, I just wanted to make bad puns at people.
>>22917961Bartleby notices you stopping and asks: "What? What did you find?"But you can't hear him, you recognize this name and you are frantically drawn to open the coffin, hoping to find your family member is a fellow undead. You clear the debris from the coffin while Bartleby walks towards you in confusion. He looks down in surprise as you open the lid. You are face to face with a relative, who appears to be a much fresher corpse than you were, as he still has flesh on his bone. You reach out your ivory hand and touch his face, unknowingly activating your [Necros Touch] ability. The flesh on the corpses bone suddenly and rapidly decays, and just as suddenly the corpse begins to subtly move. Then as if by signal the skeleton leaps out of the coffin, screaming. The skeleton of your relative has leaped from its grave and tackled Bartleby. Rykers is sitting on the poor boys chest wailing at the top of its nonexistent lungs. Bartleby has visibly wet himself and is shaking in fear.
>>22918000You can still make all the puns you want to you know. And you have to admit that a shy, bumbling gravedigger with necrophilia being hit on by a skeleton lady is pretty funny.
>>22917829All i really meant was that we should start slyly bumping people off at night so give us more business in the day. Actually then we could start con artisiting some sales of protective charms for the curse of apparently fatal bad luck that seems to have been cast upon the city. Once our skelly-level is higher and we're rich off all our conning, we also will have a massive amount of skellys available residing in our badly dug, shallow graves for an army.>>22918094Calm the fuck down dude!!!
>>22918094I guess we spooked his guts off!
>>22918094Restrain him, don't let him hurt Bartleby!
>>22918094"I guess my touch makes people's skin crawl... Away!"
>>22918129It would be if everyone wasn't trying to legitimately jump his bones.
>>22918094And suddenly, a skeleton popped out!We command the raisen guy to get out of our husbando.
>>22918129see >>22918145Maybe is people weren't taking the husbando shit so seriously, there wouldn't be so much objection.
If he's that into necro's shouldn't he have a boner instead of a shit stain?
>>22918131I'm thinking that our skelly level equals our class level? If so we'd surely level up by doing shady business, like selling anti-death charms and fake healing potions.
>>22918163He's necro, not gay.
>>22918094Wrestle your brother off Bartleby and restrain him, once he's calmed down hug Bartleby and calm him down.
Laugh until our assbone falls off.
>>22918131>>22918145>>22918154You immediately yell for Rykers to stop screaming and get off Bartleby. He quickly turns around and states:"I am so sorry, but I was scared out of my skull. Here I am DEAD for who knows how long, and then I suddenly get woken up back to the world of the living, chattering and rattled. I'd say it vertebrae-ks my heart but I don't have one anymore! Who the hell are you anyway?!"You state that you gather your touch makes peoples skin crawl, away.Rykers gets off Bartleby, and cocks his head as if to say "What?". Bart then scurries off to change his clothes in embarrassment. You are now alone in the graveyard with Rykers.
>>22918263"So what's up Rykers? you look like you've seen a ghost!!, anyway, what happened to you?"
>>22918263Give him the Flatchest family greetingpat pat
>>22918310>>22918309You tell Rykers that he looks as pale as a sheet. and then gently pat him on the skull.He's still awestruck, but manages to say."...No... no way... who are you?"
>>22918310This, pat Rykers on head. >'I'm your sister or aunt or some other female relative, Freyda!'
>>22918263Ah yes, I had almost forgotten that our clan is famous for being the punnyest people around! Tell him to grow some backbone, living is the bees knees. and just for clarification, are we actually in love with this dude? I thought we were seducing him to 1) gain control of the graveyard, and 2) have a hand in the living
>>22918371Oh yeah we're going to have a hand in the living if you know what I mean.
>>22918371Thats pretty much it i think, we've got too much on what with conquering the world to bother actually caring about some fleshy twat.>And he's clearly a fucking pussyGood for taking advantage of, not for sticking with.>>22918350We're your sister, returned to save you from the grave and tell you what to do for the next three weeks!!
>>22918350We are your sister or aunt or cousin or mom or something, who gives a shit we got a world to conquer! >>22918371I don't want no husbandos, so I vote for the latter.
>>22918371>>22918421I think he's kinda cute so I wouldn't want to hurt him...
>>22918369>>22918371You continue to gently pat the newly risen Rykers, you tell him to grow some backbone. You tell him that you're related to him somehow, and your name is Freyda."Freyda? Nope! Nuh-uh, I saw you die of NATURAL causes. I was alive when the plague was over, so I know I'm not up and about due to that necromancer. But you? You died before it even started! There is no way you're up walking around. I can't even make a joke about that it's so wrong. Freyda, you're my eldest sister and I watched you die. What are you doing raising the dead as an undead."(Also it's up to you guys what you do with Bartleby I just write the reactions.)
>>22918445Not hurt him but we gotta cut this husbando shit out.>>22918481It is I! Don't be a-Freyda me, we used to get on so well together.We didn't mean to raise you, it was a happy accident, but lets take advantage of it now, will you join us!?!Try and get him to do a skelly jig as confirmation.
>>22918481>What are you doing raising the dead as an undead.Making bad puns and taking over the world.
>>22918445Because of this shit right here I vote we kill him in such a way that he cant be raised at some point so you fucks will cut this shit out.
>>22918481I didn't mean to spook your guts off, but I AM Freyda. Thats about all that I remember about myself.
>>22918525Yeah, we can friendzone Bartleby, he'll be bound to stick around anyway.Ask Rykers what exactly those natural causes were?
>>22918310Fuckin' wheel skeletons.
>>22918532>>22918525You confirm that you are indeed Freyda Flatchest, and apologize for raising him. You had no idea you had that capability. You inform him you have very little memory of who you were besides your name. You then inform him that despite this, you plan to succeed the necromancer and become a Bone Lord/Lady/whatever. He responds:"I... I can't tell you why but I can't help but want to assist you, despite completely disagreeing with that course of action. I haven't a bone to pick with you about it."You have Gained one Level after your successful raising, and recruiting of Rykers, combined with your previous salewomanship.You may place 2 stat points anywhere you want. (majority vote wins.)Next Level you will gain a new skill in your Shady Merchant Class path.
>>22918626I vote for CON and STR. We will be the strongest skeleton ever!
>>22918626is it still possible to go to the guild hall and learn more economics skills? preferably we'll take the night classes.
CON and CharismaWe gotta charm these fuckers, and lets be honest, letting us take over the world will be quite a hard sell to some people.
>>22918687(After picking a class you will automatically learn skills from that path upon leveling.)
>>22918689>>22918660>>22918670Constitution and Charisma will each be increased by 1.Charisma is now 11Constitution is now 15>>22918596You ask Rykers what "natural causes" means. He responds:"You were born with a rare blood disorder, the doctors gave you at most 4 years to live, you lasted 26, but you were in constant pain. You eventually gave up. Come to think of it that was half a year before the necromancer started spreading the plague... weird, eugh the thought of that epidemic still chills my bones."
>>22918787Spine-tingling stuff indeed! Do we still have a home? is our house still up? family? We need money to make the big bones!
>>22918787Never mind that, we probably got lucky or something. Hug Ryker and welcome him back to unlife. Can he rise skeletons too?
>>22918481Oh, no, you're doing awesome! Thanks for putting up with our silliness. I just wanted to make sure we were all on the same page here.
>>22918815>>22918834You state that this information makes your spine tingle, you ask Rykers if there's any of your clan left, or a home that's in your line. He responds:"I haven't the foggiest, I died in battle before I could marry. If there's anyone left It'd be Mary, or a descendant of hers. But she moved far away when the living/undead war began."You wave it off, telling Rykers it matters not. You go in for a hug, and he pats you on the back with one hand. "Uh... Hate to ruin the mood here, but I'm kind of naked..."And that's where we'll stop for today.(Any raised skeleton companions are noncombatant as such have no character level. Preventing them from raising additional skeletons.)It's been fun guys, I'll probably be back tomorrow. (And I'll properly archive this thread so I don't have to write a summary again.)
>>22918904Thank you skellington king, don't let our husbando nonsense get under your skin. I like the husbando nonsense though.
>>22918904Thanks for the effort. I expect to see you around, now with +20% bad puns.capcha: threads nyasee. Fuck, capcha, this is not place for catgirl shit.
>>22919072We could probably graft a cat skeleton on a human skeleton if it helps any? We could start an undead freak circus...
>>22918962>Getting under the king of skeletons skindohoho>>22919072I'll supply all the rib ticklers you could ask for.
>>22919126Thanks skeleton King, another good one, looking forward to tommorrow! People like you doing threads like this are the reason i come to /tg/.>>22919099And if we're gonna start fucking around with this shit, we need to get on with making the SUPERSKELLY we talked about last thread.That should be our sub goal number one.
Just to kind of recap, touching skellies animates them, which makes grave digging a little...hard. For some reason, other skellies you raise this way do not have the same power, so we should get our re-animated dead and Bartleby do the work while we do other stuff. Or dig, and they handle the bodies. Of course it's good to keep in mind that necromancy is illegal, but I'm not sure if being raised fromthe dead against our well is punishable by re-death. We got Bartleby hook line and sinker, as husbando or just as a human pawn, either way, we got him. Also, we have a new drinks which puts a pep and your step called Orange Bull, or something, which we could sell as well. And of course, we gotta work on our super skelly
>>22919350Yeah, although we can only raise one skelly per level, and i should just point out (without trying to be a dick here) The whole point of grave digging is to make a hole to put a body IN, therefore we shouldnt be in too much danger of touching any and wasting our ability, undertakers would deal with the actual bodies. Finding our brother was just a fluke, it said above that the coffin wasnt meant to be there.
>>22919099A skeleton catgirl? Interesting. Technically, it would not have the cat-ears, or tail, so it would kind of hard to differentiate it from a regular skeleton human.We should ask tomorrow if we can "craft" our own skeleton minions. And think on new and creative ways to... improve... our creations. What if we put dragon wings on a giant skeleton and replace his hands with wolverine-like claws?