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>>22954278

As accorded in the previous issue, (http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/22938730/) the group is as follows:
>ONE OF THE PARTY HAS A HALFLING NAMED BILBO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BILBO
> One of them will be a banana, a very persuasive and charming banana
>One is building an Anakim DC80 Escape Artist.
>One of the guys plays a mary sue.
The unconscious girl is playing as a feminist wizard, but is the group's captive.

Now, what is the plot hook/their quest?

>>22954289
An ancient evil has awoken...

Rolled 48

To retrieve the Staff of Rape from the evil Queen Feminista and return it to the rightful owner Duke Richard von Hugenrod.

I keep forgetting, roll 1d100 to decide their plot hook/quest.

Rolled 29

>>22954289
Dwarves threatened by serial barber.

Rolled 71

They have to find the layer of the person that ate their father and pursuay him to join their groop

Rolled 71

A quest to steal a dragons hoard
the hoard is made entirely of nubile virgin maidens

my body is not ready to be this meta.

Rolled 17

They must go and purchase a bottle of milk!

Rolled 27

>>22954289
On a quest to make sure the entire world gets raped, one way or another.

Rolled 17

>>22954392

I support this plot.

Rolled 97

In an attempt to overcome boredom, a powerful lich invents video games. Uses their power to
enslave world.

>>22954736
oh my

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Rolled 27

>>22954289
The evil masked lord Sausage has cast a spell to make the moon fall upon the planet!
Our heroes must use their flute of time-reversal and find a way to return the One Necklace back to mount hurrdurr to save the world.

Rolled 1

Threat of hobgoblins with artillery that launches goblins - who have guns
100 GET!

>>22954736

It is not very FATAL but just scream evil capitalism.

Rolled 19

>>22954736
There's gotta be some sort of meta singularity we're homing into.

>>22954736
Jesus, I already drew the feminista queen and the dragon, this will be the plot hook, gimme a minute.

>>22954787
People can still get raped.

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>>22954736
Vydiamorgh, the powerful evil lich lord, is scheming to enslave all sentient and/or semisentient creatures by controlling their mind with a mass-produced artifact he calls "videogames".
It's said that he also is inventing an even more powerful variant of these vile creations, called datesims or eroges, these are made to keep the virginity of any individual who plays them safe, so they can become wizards and join his powerful, evil, socially awkward, undead wizard army.

Their missions is to defeat this dark overlord, where does this adventure start?

Rolled 16

In a rape dungeon, the adventurers is currently being raped.

Rolled 35

>>22955074
In a tavern.

Rolled 7

>>22955074
In a darkened ally where the party has been interrogating these "videogamers."

Rolled 57

>>22955074
In a bar and they are all drunk

Rolled 91

>>22955074
Right outside the front door.

The party doesn't figure this out, and travels 34 times around the world before knocking on the door to finally ask for directions. Who opens the door then? Vydiamorgh.

>>22955236
haha, wow

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>>22955236
After travelling the world far and wide, the group knock the front door of a grim castle they passed by plenty of times.
A skeletal figure opens the creaking door, he looks midly pissed.
"Yeeesss? What is it? I'm busy creating waifus..."

Rolled 38

>>22955443
Call him a faggot and laugh at him.

Rolled 12

>>22955443
Challenge him to a dance off with deadly consequences!

Rolled 3

>>22955443
COMBAT ENCOUNTER!

Rape ogres are here to rape your holes. All of them. Especially the navel!

Rolled 46

>>22955443
"Were here to stop your evil acts of.... wait, waifus? Sweet, can we come in?"

Rolled 60

>>22955443
Show him your buttholes and tell him your body is ready.

Rolled 60

>>22955443
Everyone attempts to rape themselves.

Has the woman woken up yet?

Rolled 77

>>22955443
The banana is selling these fine leather jackets and is wondering if you'd be interested in buying any.

Rolled 58

>>22955443
"We were just wondering if you'd want to sign this petition to ban all video games? You see, they cause violence."

Rolled 68

>>22955443
grab his dick.

wait, are we now playing the party? I thought we were the GM.

Rolled 34

>>22955443
Say:
Excuse me, do you have a moment to spare for our lord and savior?

Rolled 18

>>22955532
We are everything. We are life itself.

File: 1359919266871.png-(69 KB, 1200x800, banana.png)

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>>22955494
"Excuse me sir, would you be interested in buying one of our fine leather jackets? Please let us in, and we can talk about it's awesome features and pricing"

What does the lich do?

Rolled 50

>>22955580
Over his body as payment.

Rolled 82

>>22955580
The lich is overjoyed and offers a good dicking for two jackets.

Rolled 64

>>22955580
The lich is sceptical, but does not want to refuse the Banana.
He gives the party a link to his latest eroge kickstarter, determined to judge the qualities of their character by observing whether they donate or not and how much.

Rolled 99

>>22955580
Bones him.

>>22955661
Bones him, how?

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Rolled 48

>>22955661

>>22954278
I love your art, Person

Rolled 56

>>22955580

The lich invites them in and offers them an opportunity to playtest his latest eroge.

Rolled 34

>>22955678
With his boner.

Rolled 26

He alerts them to the three-headed monkey behind them.

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Rolled 18

>>22955712
My sides

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>>22955661
>>22955591
"Why, yes of course, how does a good dicking for two jackets sound to you?
I can bone you real god!"

Rolled 58

>>22955730
Do it! Have a hot, dirty orgy with the lich right on his doorstep.

>>22955730
good*

Rolled 37

>>22955730
Over to engage in fellatio with him

Rolled 83

>>22955730
commence boning.

Rolled 49

>>22955730
Everyone forces the feminist wizard down in order to get boned by the lich.

Rolled 16, 70, 55 = 141

>>22955730
Roll for vote
Roll the party's anal circumference
Roll the lich's bone size

Rolled 48

>>22955801
Anal Circumference is 70.

>>22955696
Why, thank you, I make drawthreds from time to time, but I use another trip and artsyle.

Rolled 86

>>22955730
Say he can bone the feminist wizard if he actually pays for the jackets

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>>22955897
"Well you see sir, even if it sounds tempting, you must understand that the world runs on money... anyway, we will alow you to bone our captive ady right there as long as you pay us, how does that sound?"

Rolled 60

>>22955996
"Sounds great!" Proceeds to bone wizard then runs into house quickly.

Rolled 85

>>22955996
Yes. Insert the lich's penis into the captive lady's vagina and commence copulation.

Rolled 67

>>22955996
"FUCK NO" and proceeds to bone everyone in the ass.

Rolled 24

>>22955996
Agree with the banana, but say you want the rest of the party to watch while you bone her

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Rolled 29

>>22955996
The lich is offended by this meager boning offer, he was hoping for an orgy.
In an outrage he throws off his robes exposing his be-tentacled lower body! And asks "Have you seen enough hentai to know where this is going?"

Rolled 94

>>22955996
The lich frowns but agrees and pays you.

Little do you know it's rape coins.

Rolled 73

>>22955996
This is when the feminist mage wakes up irl and protest her character will not be anyone's bitch

Rolled 16

>>22955996
eat your peas

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>>22956074
"Alright, alright, here, have a sachet full of... completely normal coins, yeah"
Then he slams the door, leaving the adventurers in the cold.

"Looks like you are getting boned!"
You say to your QT3.14 gf

"Well, fuck"
Says Pete.
"At this rate we aren't defeating this asshole lich!"

Rolled 62

>>22956416
Fuck Pete. In real life. While singing Spooky Scary Skeletons.

>>22956416
Don't roll by now, let's see where we can get from here.

Rolled 3

>>22956416
The coins grows dicks and starts raping the party.

Rolled 90

>>22956416
Break the door down and tell him it's goofy time.

Rolled 52

>>22956416

The banana started to rape the door until it fall apart

Rolled 84

>>22956416
The QT3.14 gf tries to use her cellphone to be free from this madness.

She haven't rolled for anal circumference!

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>>22956499
>>22956483
Suddenly, the store's gaming room's door slams open!
"Alright, alright, what the hell is going on here!? Ya dun goofed lads!"
Looks like while you weren't paying attention, your QT3.14 gf was texting a friend to call the police, holy shit.

Rolled 66

>>22956934
Time to channel the charming banana and smooth this situation over.

Rolling for charisma.

oooh interesting, universe split into two time lines.

Dis gon be gud.

Rolled 71

>>22956934
black magic

Rolled 59

>>22956964
>>22956934
Roll for this

Rolled 76

>>22956934
"Nothing officer we are playing a perfectly normal game of FATAL. My QT3.14 gf is just being into character of the damsell in distress. Wanna play with us?''

Rolled 29

>>22956934
Whip out ye olde +2 dick of reaching.
Threaten the pigs to put down their guns and slowly back away or BY THE GODS I'LL USE THIS

Rolled 89

>>22956934
rape the police.

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Rolled 55

>>22957053
This cheeky cunt.

Rolled 24

>>22956934

Let the police join the current gaming session. Give them each their own player character.

Rolled 71

>>22956934
Silently hand them two empty char sheets and pens. Today's Tuesday.

>>22957053

Well, it was inevitable that it would end like this...

Rolled 29

>>22957053
Oh dear god I roll to negate this roll for the good of banana

What is everyone rolling on?
or are we just rolling then pretending thats the answer

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Rolled 28

>>22957053

Rolled 36

>>22956934
Quick! Distract them with your donut!

>>22957241
We roll to decide what happens next

Rolled 28

>>22957216
same here

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>>22957053

Rolled 8

>>22956934

Invite the cops to play with you. They accept.

>>22957313
>>22957245
>>22957216
>>22957090
admit it....you knew it would come to this.

Rolled 93

>>22956934
Calmly close the door again and continue the session.

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>>22957334
Everyone is a rapist.

>>22957369

I'm afraid it might be too late for that...

Rolled 72

>>22957386
Laugh at their guns with all your might, for they have no triggers.

Rolled 26, 99 = 125

>>22957386

Throw the dice at the cop in an attempt to disable them. Rolling for how damage we make with them.

Rolled 93

>>22957386

"Hmm...Looks like FATAL is not your cup of tea. How about this?"

Take a box from under the desk.

"Do you Catan, officers?"

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>>22957053
>>22957041
"Nothing officer we are playing a perfectly normal game of FATAL. My QT3.14 gf is just being into character of the damsell in distress. Wanna play with us? You can be a little girl, if you know what I mean..."

"Looks like another case of evil satanic cultists playing roleplaying games and raping innocent women, guys! The media is gonna love this, put the hands where we can see them and don't try anything funny!"

>>22957453

Well fuck, does my roll still count? >>22957434

Rolled 66

>>22957453
Throw smoke bomb you had on the back of your belt and steal guns and force them give you head.

Rolled 12

>>22957453
Put your fingers in your nose and threaten to shoot satanic boogers at them if they don't put the guns away.

Rolled 9

>>22957453

You ignore the cops and continue playing.

>>22957468
I think so, yeah, let's wait a few minutes, but I think that you are winning this one.

Rolled 5

>>22957453
warn them about the time bomb behind the counter rigged to explode if the fun level in the building drops beneath "meh".

>>22957504

Eh, I'm expecting a rape roll of 99

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Rolled 56

>>22957453

They dare to ruin our gaming session! Put on our Lucha mask and start showing them our wrestling skill!

>>22957434

THIS

>>22957427

AND FUCKING THIS

Rolled 99

>>22957453
I whip out my Yugioh cards and challenge them to a duel, winner takes all

>>22957539
>WIN

>>22957525
>>22957539

Well... At least it wasn't rape.

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>>22957539

Rolled 96

>>22957539
And now we wait for the rape roll of 100.

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Rolled 54

>>22957539
Oh my fucking sides..
Counter this and whip out Pokemon cards for a pokemon battle

Rolled 78

>>22957453
>>22957539
Going for the 100
One of the group rapes the chair, effectively confusing the cops so that the rest can sneak up, disarm, and rape them.

File: 1359926223907.jpg-(35 KB, 410x308, joey wheeler fuck yeah yu(...).jpg)

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Rolled 80

>>22957539

File: 1359926249304.png-(303 KB, 482x349, yami.png)

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Rolled 79

Looks like it's time to d-d-d-d-d-duel!

Rolled 64

>>22957453
godammit, I told you to rape the fucking police

Rolled 1

>>22957539
Ok, this went silly since FATAL popped up, but...
I'm throwing a "coin", if we get a 1, the cop accepts the duel, if we get a 2, he gets serious.

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>>22957676
IT BEGINS

Rolled 64

>>22957676
Fuck yes.

>>22957676

TIME TO DUEL

BELIEVE IN THE HEART OF THE CARDS DM

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>>22957676

Rolled 54

>>22957675
He's going to get raped, in yugioh.

Rolled 2

>>22957676
Oh wow...
Well, I'm back to drawing.

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>>22957676

Time to pull out our duel disk....!

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Rolled + 5

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Rolled 93

>>22957676
Out of nowhere I take out the worst cosplay get-up ever beheld by mortal eyes.
Using season 0 yami yugi cheating tactics to win the duel
and consequently mind-crush everyone's minds into a hallucinatory world of the boardgame.

File: 1359926661193.gif-(1.58 MB, 300x204, YES.gif)

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Rolled 56

>>22957724
YES!

So since we've reached this level of silliness - holographic monsters or real monsters?

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Rolled 94

>>22957724
But rather than a Yugi costume, it's Shobu!

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Rolled 11

>>22957724

Rolled 6

>>22957759
OH MY WAT

Rolled 29

>>22957724

"I'll warn you officer, this is not you usual game, this is a Shadow Game!"

>>22957759

Fuck that anime

File: 1359926803477.png-(136 KB, 397x319, mai.png)

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Rolled 24

>>22957759

Rather than Shobu, it's Mai VAlentine!

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Rolled 17

>>22957777
>>22957724

Rolled 67

>>22957706
not good enough

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Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 5

This is how you 5

Rolled 63

And then we got so random that DM gave up.
The end

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>>22957952
I hope not, I just rolled a 99 and 94 for you guys!

File: 1359927706473.png-(70 KB, 1200x800, let's duel.png)

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Rolled 2

>>22957539
>>22957724
>>22957759
What if I... challenge you to a duel?

File: 1359927761593.png-(71 KB, 1200x800, srsbsns.png)

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Rolled 2

>>22957980
Ok son, but i gotta tell ya...

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Rolled 2

>>22957995
I'm no ordinary duelist!

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>>22957980
>>22957995
>>22958009

Rolled 4

>>22958009
IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL

Rolled 41

>>22958009
My sides

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>>22958009
WHAT A TWIST

File: 1359927894861.png-(89 KB, 1200x800, it's on.png)

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Rolled 1

>>22958009
It's on!

Now, i want ideas for how to run this tournament, higher roll doens't get chosen, but simplest method does.

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>>22957824

Rolled 58

>>22958009
IT'S TIME

Rolled 13

>>22958009
Freak out because the concept of pupils is so utterly alien to us.

Rolled 73

>>22958031

We bluff like mad until we get Exodia.

Rolled 62

>>22958031

DM takes 5 card, it's Exodia.

File: 1359928003937.jpg-(84 KB, 1000x667, Anconfusedlinetrap.jpg)

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Rolled 33

>>22958031
activate our trap card

Rolled 79

>>22958031
If we win, the police lets us go and he allows us to rape him. If we lose, we buy them donuts for a week

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Rolled 43

>>22958031
I summon a card face down and end my turn

>>22954278
Person is a friend of mine and is talking to me on Skype, you should of seen his comments about yesterday....


He never expected it to go this way.

Rolled 55

>>22958104
welcome to /tg/, never expect us

Rolled 10

>>22958031

We roll d10, you roll 7d10. Think on risk. We compare rolls, higher rolls wins, which represents a turn in the game. Whichever side gets more win rolls, wins the game.

Oh, yeah, we describe our cards and comboes with each roll. Yeah, it can be stupid.

Oh, yeah, this roll for placing the 7 of spades on the board.

>>22958104
well clearly having expectations in the first place was the first step to on the road of disappointment.

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Rolled 1, 1, 1, 1, 1 = 5

>>22958031
I summon DARK MAGICIAN And attack first turn.

Rolled 79

>>22958009
We roll 1d100, you roll 1d100
Higher one is winning
Lower one may roll 1d2: if 1 -> Trap card activates and we go back to step one.
If 2 -> lower one loses.

>>22958109
The chances of FATAL being rolled.... Then the other requests.

>>22958162
True. I did warn him in the past!

File: 1359928994042.png-(90 KB, 1200x800, pickin.png)

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Rolled 93

>>22958196
Sounds good to me, let's do this!

(I guess I'm playing for the cop, and you as the DM, right?

Rolled 83

>>22958297
I Summon.... kuriboh?
Fuck.

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Rolled 66

>>22958297

Holy crap.

Rolling for DM

>>22958297
Yes. It's time to D-D-D-D-DUEL

Rolled 13

>>22958297
Yup, we are the DM.

Also, rolling for tapping black lotus, we use the mana to summon garkago dragon and synchro it with our dark magician


Holy shit! You rolled a 93, is over, guys.

Rolled 5

>>22958331
I summon... EXODIA

Rolled 80

>>22958341
>Rolled 13

>>22958342
>Rolled 5

Face it, guyz, the Gods of Dices are telling we lost this match.

Rolled 13

>>22958297
You've activated my trap card!

Rolled 87

>>22958331
Damn, that was close.
I guess you now have to roll 1d2 to see if the trap card activates.

Rolled 22

>>22958362

We haven't lost! I believe in the heart of the cards!

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>>22958297
I attack your life points directly!

Rolled 46

>>22958297
I place my trapcard, magic card and I summon a monster facedowwwnn

Rolled 71

>>22958389

Rolled 2

>>22958384
Man fuck the heart of the cards

rolling for trap card.

I summon BLUE EYES WHITE DRAGON

Rolled 82

>>22958402
Genius!

We rape the heart of cards.

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Rolled 1

>>22958381

We activate the trap card Sudden Equipment that allowed us to equip monster from our hand! We equip Dark Magician Girl with Bikini!

Rolled 86

>>22958384
>Rolled 22

>>22958402
>Rolled 2

Yeah, we are pretty fucked.

Rolled 61

>>22958297
I summon Donuts.

Rolled 90

>>22958418

GODDAMN IT

Guise wat is happen
Random rolls and stuff all over.
tickles my balls

Rolled 33

>>22958297
Hamburger Helper

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Rolled 31

>>22958297
I summon... Blue Eyes White Dragon!

Rolled 65

>>22958434
Winrar!

Rolled 5

>>22958434
This, we have a champion, Blue eyes dragon we choose you!

Rolled 7

>>22958297
I summon Gun.

Then shoot the cop.

Rolled 3

>>22958447
you're welcome.

Rolled 25

>>22958297
I cast FIST

File: 1359929672015.png-(40 KB, 1200x800, fetchin.png)

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Rolled 44

>>22958402
You know what?
I'm giving you guys a second chance, just because.
If you beat me in this one, you pick exodia or something and the cop loses.

Rolled 43

>>22958515
Fuck the heart of the cards, the ball is my friend!

Rolling for tapping soccer ball.

Rolled 6

>>22958515
I cast FIST

File: 1359929751075.jpg-(29 KB, 500x373, ExodiaCardsJP.jpg)

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Rolled 10

>>22958515
EXODIA

Rolled 95

>>22958515
Summon GUN
Shoot cop

File: 1359929778489.gif-(89 KB, 120x120, 1328325152062.gif)

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Rolled 79

>>22958515

Don't fail me heart of the cards.

Rolled 2, 2, 2, 1, 2 = 9

>>22958515
5d2 to gather the exodia pieces
If all fails, throw the cards at the cops, slicing them in half all ninja-style and shit.

Rolled 6

>>22958515
You've activated my trap card, black hole.

Rolled 29

>>22958515

I don't know any other card than blue eyes white dragon and that magician girl. So I guess it's magician girl time.

>>22958540
>43
HAHAHAHAHA OH GOD, MY SIDES.

File: 1359929831315.jpg-(Spoiler Image, 237 KB, 868x882)

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Rolled 99

>>22958515
[Spoiler] Heart of the cards!

Rolled 28

>>22958515
We draw an empty card and banish his soul into it to blackmail his grandson into playing another card game with us on an idyllic island.

>>22958556
Luckily we already had 1 exodia piece in our hand.
Huzzah and stuff!

Rolled 51

>>22958552
>Rolled 95
>Summon GUN
>Shoot cop

Someone said this was a shadow game or something. Does that means we shoot the cop irl, and we are murderers?

Rolled 78

>>22958515
>>22958540
Fuck shit.

Rolled 86

Lay down some actual trap cards.
And get the field ready for a Jinzo and that skull demon thingy.

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>>22958573
THE CHOSEN ONE

>>22958573
THE GREAT RAPENING IS UPON US.

This can only end well.

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Rolled 33

>>22958515
We summon a little hairy ball in his face.

He'll never see it coming.

Rolled 477

>>22958515
Meanwhile the QT3.14 gurl is so turned on by the masculine throw-about of cards that she decides to whack the cops on the back of their heads, taking them out.
She then walks over to our heroes for a well-deserved makeout session when she slips on her own cunt-juices and falls unconcious.
>THE GAME CONTINUES WITH 3 PASSED OUT PPLS ON THE FLOOR

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>>22958573
After all these rolls, I am kind of disappointed we won with a exodia. Still, a victory, is a victory.

And so, back to our fatal game session.

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>>22958573
BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!
With a flash of light, You summon Exodia, and everyhing banishes for a second...

Rolled 80

>>22958955
Time to claim our price:

The Police is going to join our game and preform any sexual acts on us that we do in the game.

Rolled 55

>>22958955

>That Exodia

how do you expect people to not think of rape when you draw something like that?.

Anyway you mindcrush the policeman and continue your game.

>>22958973
We rape QT3.14 gf with the help of our anakim dc80 escape artist.

Oh, on the game we keep talking to the lich.

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>>22958955
When the light fades away you realize that you are... floating, in clear white nothingness...

You suddenly hear a voice
"Hello"


No rolls here, let the magic happen

>>22959057
Demand rape.

>>22959057

"What happen...? Where am I?"

>>22959057

...Friend Computer?

Rolled 59

>>22959057

You rape the white nothingness.

Rolled 26

>>22959057
Thrust hips in general direction of voice.

Rolled 42

>>22959057

"Damn cocaine smoothies man"

or then it was all a dream.

>>22959057

Dude, where is my car?

>>22959057
Thrust hips in general direction of voice.

>>22959099

>>22959057
Hi.
You got a character rolled up?
Can't include you into the game without a character sheet, you know.

>>22959077
>You rape the white nothingness.
>>22959087
>>22959098
>>22959111
>>22959118
No rolls here guys

>>22959155

The DM said:

>>22959057
>No rolls here

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>>22959132
>>22959110
>>22959098
>>22959087
>>22959077
"What the... What is this? Who are you...? Friend Computer? Is this because of the drugs, or... maybe you want to join our game? Well, I should tell you that you should get your character sheet done first... And quickly, we were in a quest of rape."

"Oh no, no, it's nothing like that, we... we wanted to contact you"

>>22959223

...Hogwarts?

Rolled 68

>>22959223

"No please don't abduct me! I still have so much to try to dry hump!"

Rolled 58

>>22959223
aliens?

Rolled 84

>>22959223
Well, what the hell do ya want?

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>>22959223

>>22959223

Oh, did you finally got my emails? I was expecting for so long for this chance. Now, tell me, why the fuck you were the second at charge if you were the most intelligent and logical guy in the crew?

>>22959223
B-b-but I just got my qt3.14 GF!! Don't eat my soul!

Rolled 38

>>22959223
Rolls here?
Seeing noone around, take off all clothes.
It feels good to be nekked.

>>22959223
No offense, but I think Zero G and my lunch are having something of a disagreement right and now and I'd prefeBLAAAARGHARGLEGARGLE

>>22959223

"It is about my hentai collection in my PC? I can't help that I have strange fetish..."

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>>22959334
>>22959318
>>22959307
>>22959295
>>22959253
"Well, what the hell do you want? Is it that I'm officially a wizard, or... oh, shit, I'm being abducted right? Fuckfuckfuck"
You keep trying to somehow swim out of there.

"No, please, we don't mean any harm, please calm down"

>>22959425
Nah, rolls will be needed when I say so.

Rolled 99

>>22959473
I still think we'll get probed.

>>22959473
Well, what do you want? Make it quick, I have a anal circumference to roll for.

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Rolled 61

>>22959473
Dungeon master plotting something

>>22959473
"Ok but... I really need to get back soon. I'm gonna get laid after this game.

>>22959499
>>22959473


>22959499
>Rolled 99

IT'S TZEENTCH

PANIC

Rolled 79

>>22959473
Would you like me to give you fellatio?

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>>22959499
>>22959510
>>22959523
"I don't feel like getting probed, so what do you want then? Make it quick, I've got some anal circunferences to roll for... hell, I may even get laid!"

"Well you see.. WE, are the dice gods, and as we hope you may understand, we are spreaders of chance, and chaos... You have pleased us well, and we might to give you one favor if you accept to be our... paladin, in some way.

Rolled 41

>>22959688
Only if you let me bone you in the ass.

>>22959688

"Sounds tempting, can I roll for my answer?"

Rolled 57

>>22959688
Nope, I just wanna roll anal circumference.

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>>22959688

"You mean like Grey Knight Paladin or DnD Paladin?"

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>>22959688
One favor...?
Becoming a paladin in return...?

Ask about side effects.

Rolled 92

>>22959688
do we have to stay a virgin?

>>22959688
Sure

Rolled 48

>>22959688
Only if I get a big purple dildo instead of a mace to whack shit with.

>>22959688
Only if I get awsome powers. Like a beam attack.