The year is 2003. You are twenty years old. You recieve a phone call at three in the morning.It's Bill, you best friend."We've found it" He says"Found what?" you say"The vampires!" You get dressed and leave the house as quietly as you can, picking up a baseball bat as you leave. Bill waits beneath a streetlight, water pistol filled with holy water, stakes stuffed in either pocket, and a large cross straped on his back."You ready?" he asks. >Gender(consensus wins.)
MaleBill is our best bro from grade school, we would live or die for that magnificent bastard.
FemaleThe twist is that you became a vampire recently and Bill doesn't know
malei like the bill bro thing
Male.You and Bill are actually boyfriends.
MaleYou and Bill are homosexual werewolf detectives.
Is my name Ted?
male because which female even had a baseball bat in 2003
>>22980467i like you
"Where are the other guys?" you say."They're waiting for us a block away from the graveyard" It's just another night fucking around with your bros, but that doesn't stop you from not liking the idea of hanging round a graveyard."Here" Bill says, squirting you baseball bat with holy water. You walk with Bill to the graveyard, thanful it's a warm night out in Union City. You see Sophie, Alan and Robbie waiting on the street corner, all kitted out in similar vampire slaying attire. "Hey Wayne" says Sophie, addressing you "ready to kill some vamps?"
>>22980555>"Ready to get my dick wet.">"With your vagina."
>>22980555"no, bitch, rape tiem"proceed to rape her with holy water bat
>>22980555"You know it. What's the sitch?"
>>22980555"Voodoo mon amour, baby."
>>22980583XD i fell out my chair LAUGH/b/rothas 4 life!!!!
>>22980555"What's the situation? Are they still out feeding or have they retired to their crypts?"
>Baseball Bat>water pistolAre you sure you didn't mean to say 12 instead of 20.
Aww yes, 2003. When X-Files and Buffy just went off the air.
>>22980599"What's the sich? Are they still out feeding or have they retired to their crypts?""The usual, buncha white skinned freaks running around sucking on innocent victim." she says, pulling out to drum sticks fashioned into stakes. "We're not sure, all we know is there is a lot of them" says Robbie, who took the effort to bring an axe with a cross etched into the metal. "let's fuck shit up" says Bill, raising his water pistol in the air as you enter the graveyard. A fine mist hangs over the tomb stones as you creek open the iron gates, the chain already lying on the floor. You can choose one companion:Bill: Water gun & stakes, a scaredy cat but he's got the weaponry.Sophie: Drum stakes, hard as nailsRobbie: Axe - bit of a wimpAlan: Has a ring of garlic round his neck, jar of holy water, stakes
>>22980760Let's take Sophie, guts is more important than weapons.
>>22980760"Hey guys, wouldn't it be better if we split up? I'll go this way!"You run ahead then hide behind a tree and jerk off
There better be a shitload of screaming and silly insults, OP.
>>22980760Sophie, because she probably has a nice ass.
>>22980826You get out what you put in. People don't try to have fun they ain't gonna.
>>22980851Split up with Sophie. Gives us some plot protection as default.
>>22980851Alan, because cleric seemin' mo'fo'.
>>22980904This one. The girl has natural plot protection, and we don't need her for now. Bill might get ganked though.
"Okay I'll head off with Sophie, you guys head off that way, call if you see anything" you say. Sophie smiles and twirls the drum stakes as she steps beside you. You go deeper into the graveyard, unnerved but keeping your cool. Roll 1d100 for Spot Hidden
Rolled 4>>22981010Keep our eyes open, our baseball bat ready, and murder in our heart.
Rolled 89>>22981010Quick, grab her ass.
Rolled 79>>22981010Whatever you do, don't hit on her. We're doing business, right now. Not gettin' down to business. We don't need her hormonal ass getting flustered and cock-hungry.
>>22981038(oh shit son what are you doing)Baseball bat at the ready you and Sophie head deeper inside the graveyard. As alert as you are you don't see any potential undead lurking about. "IMMA SUCKA YOUR BLOOD!" cries Alan, now kitted in full vampire making, jumping on you back and chomping down with plastic teeth drenched in red food coloring. You manage to wrestle him off."Ha, got you, damn you guys suck tonight" he says, removing the fangs. You do this every other weekend, it's a dorky form of roleplaying you enjoy."It's your turn to be the vampires now" says Alan. But then his eyes go wide as he looks at something behind you. "look out!" he shouts as Sophie is suddenly torn in half, blood splattering everywhere.What do?
>>22981140Flail our arms wildly and scream out "What the fuck is going on?"
>>22981140Mourn."I never got to fuck her!"
Rolled 13>>22981140Summon Cthulhu
Rolled 51>>22981140Jizz in the general direction
>>22981157(bros, this is gonna get fucked up)"What the fuck is going on?!" you shout as the most beautiful and most terrifying man you have ever seen throws aside both meat chunks of Sophie's corpse to the side.He is tall, in his late thirties with golden hair and dark brown eyes. Dressed in a leather jacket and jeans. He disappears for an instant then reappears behind Alan. The vampire's mouth rips a huge chunk out of Alan's neck and drains his blood until he's a shriveled, pale prawn.Roll to defend yourself 1d100
Rolled 53>>22981140"holy fuck what shit"run away dude
Rolled 31>>22981273Bash his head open, murderize the fuck.
Rolled 96>>22981273Wipe out dick.
Rolled 6>>22981273Defending with Cthulhu
Rolled 70>>22981273i block his punches and kick him in the nuts
Rolled 47>>22981298This game seriously hate Cthulhu...
Rolled 84>>22981273defend!(really wasn't expecting that OP)
Rolled 68I take it lower is good?
>>22981297Well looks like we will wipe out our dick infront of a vampire .
>>22981369Will lol when we exterminate our own dick.Captcha: hisecum twiceYes, Captcha. We will e-cum. Twice, even.
Rolled 4>>22981273Attack with our fabulous ripple powers
>>22981281You swing your bat valiantly as you charge in the name of your fallen friends. The vampire however has inhuman speed, strength and senses, almost idly it catches your bat and drops it to the ground. The point of contact burns the vampire's hand a little, sending a small patch of smoke rising to the moonlight."You pathetic mortal" says the vampire, his voice silk. "You're going to regret that"He grabs you by the throat and bites down, draining your blood to the point you can no longer move your body. He then carries you to the back of the graveyard where Bill and Robbie are sat in a coffin, bloody and dressed in vampire make-up. The vampire bites his own wrist and forces you to drink his blood. It takes better than anything you have drank in your life, feeling your body with a warmth and contentment you have never felt before. Done, the vampire throws you into the coffin, nails the lid down, and buries you deep below the earth."What are we going to do?" asks BillYou can't see a thing in the pitch darkness. But you can smell your friends.
Rolled 7>>22981465So, will save?
Rolled 54>>22981465We whip out our dick and use our dick-smell to attract our friends.
Rolled 80>>22981465What do you fuckin think, OP?
Rolled 13>>22981549This, but all three of us, with feet and both hands too.
Rolled 78>>22981465Are we trying to roll high or low?Also rolling to resist whatever thralldom bullshit is being likely forced on us and remain ourself.
>>22981549(my nigga)Roll 1d20 to break out of coffin. With the help of your friends. 20 is crit success.
>>22981465Fuck you OpFuck you
Rolled 17>>22981594hope this works
>Alan has cloves of garlic around his neck>vampire bites his neckWAT
>>22981594OP = railroading.
>>22981643Exactly. OP is railroading weeaboo.
Rolled 14>>22981636Don't try that. You rolled a 1.Rolling punch.
>>22981643>>22981645So far this appears to be "Shitty railroad Quest: The Vampiring." If we get stuck in thralldom to this pretty asshole the thread will be effectively unsalvagable.
The word "it" is being used to describe a plural object.My friend Bill is mentally retarded, and I'm going to ask if his mother knows he has her cell phone.
>>22981620"Alright guys" you say "we have one shot of making it out of here, we're going to have break the wood.All three of you lay on your back and get ready to punch and kick as hard as you can. The wood is thick and it's a brand new coffin, but you just might be able to break it.You punch and kick with all the energy you have left in you. You keep this up for ten straight minutes before the realization and mind numbing fear kicks in that you're not making it out. Besides, you've used up a lot of your air supply.Bill breaks down into tears whilst Robbie remains silent. That was your last chance.Three hours pass. Hunger begins to fill your gut like a burning fire, a mind numbing thirst taking hold of you. Roll to not eat your best friends 1d100, thirty five or less buys them another hour of life.
Rolled 58>>22981721Neat.Om nom nom Bill.
Goddammit, here I wanted Lost Boys quest
>>22981745You can't resist the thirst....Who dies first?Bill or Robbie? (consensus)"Hey, is Wayne changing?" says Bill to Robbie as they try to shuffle away from you. "Holy shit!" screams Robbie, sobbing now, wishing beyond all hope to be free and home with his mother.
>>22981692I love you. The OP obviously has a hardon for vamps and all related shit. Just look at how he's describing the vampire. "His voice silk". Vampires are simply undead versions of humans. If they weren't pretty before becoming a vampire, they certainly aren't going to be pretty after.
>>22981721What are you doing, OP?
>>22981775(there is shit like that later on bro)
>>22981781Robbie, nom, nom, nom.
(I realize this feels somewhat railroaded but this is just the intro)
Rolled 63>>22981809Hahaha. For some reason that really tickled me.Eat Robbie beacase of this anon.And Bill's our best friend, and we're a looser called Wayne, we need all the friends we can get.
Rolled 34>>22981781Gnaw the wood
>>22981801>(there is shit like that later on bro)Confirmed, OP has everything planned out, apparently. Fuck you, OP. So low rolls are good rolls, but then a 20 on a 1d20 is crit success? But then a 17 doesn't pass your shitty DC? That doesn't even make sense. Railroading cunt.
>>22981873(not realizing I have pre-planned an openworld environment, which consists of Lost Boy nerd fighter types)
>>22981873sage the fool
>>22981781Robbie, Bill is our best friend ever we wont eat him first.
This better be good. At this point, I wouldn't mind if it was all a dream and you wake up on your Thundercats bedspreads before cruising down to your uni.
Jesus chill out, i mean maybe he is railroading, (i usally give it more than 5 minutes to check though, seeing as its not really worth planning a quest if everyone runs off on a quest to build the first ever rocket ship you've no idea how to run when you spent time planning a dorf mountain monster slaying quest.)But even if he is, why not just sage or possibly for the first time ever in 4chan history, leave a thread without whining like a bitch if you dont like it.
If we must eat someone it should be Robbie, Bill has to much sentimental meaning to use to just eat
>>22981943Sorry, this is to >>22981873You.
>>22981887Not realizing that maybe some of us wanted to kill the beast and not be railroading into cuntville as cuntserfs of the vampiric overcunt.Captcha: death argohorCaptcha says it best. DEATH ARE GO, WHORE.
>>22981943Then why even give us the opportunity to roll, if it's not going to do anything for us? At this point, he might as well have put everything up to now in the original description. It's obviously not doing any good, and some suggestions have just been ignored.
Rolled 53Please let it all just be in our imagination
Rolled 35A man chooses; a slave obeys! And we choose to first consume OURSELF.
>>22981967Then maybe this is not your type of quest? Maybe you should just leave it at that and leave the thread? Because right now you just sound like a whiny bitch that didn't get his will, and i am sure you are a better person than that.
>>22981940(I'm doing my best)Robbie it is. Although something akin to a newborn vampire you're still weak from being drained and your efforts to escape the coffin. You wrestle with Robbie for several moments before your new pair of pointy fangs pierce is cheek, the bone and muscle crunching beneath your iron jaw. Before long he bleeds out and falls unconscious, his blood filling the coffin. Bill, hiding behind Robbie's corpse in the pitch black coffin begs for you to not kill him, to let him live, recalling times when you were little. You snap out of your primal state long enough for the air supply inside the box to cut short. Bill loses consciousness and begins to suffocate...a better death than Robbie got.(congrats OP fucked up the intro!)Hours pass yet you are able to breath and are fully conscious within the coffin. Bill's heart stops beating after a while and you cry tears of blood for your best friend. How did it come to this? Buried alive? Eating your best friends? Hearing their heart beat for the last time?You have a much longer wait ahead of you...twenty years pass inside the coffin. Your vampiric body unable to gain sustinance withers and rots like any other corpse, barely held together by vains as thick as string. Every couple of months you awaken to the sound of mourners above, a mindless thirst and sadness taking over you.But this is just the beginning. Over the years rats crawl into your coffin, worms wriggling inside. Slowly but surely you regain your strength by draining the rats blood, clawring your way to the surface, a hideous entity that you are. You breath fresh moonlight air for the first time in twenty years. What the fuck do you do?
>>22982132We look for the motherfucker that did this to us. we must play it safe and determine his intentions, was that some fucked up ceremony? or some sadistic fucking thing?either way right now we find him
>>22982132Nono, not fucked up, changed it. Every quest on /tg/ is a trial to hold the story together because almost the all of the audience wants something different.Well what the fuck do i see around me?
>>22982132>2023WTF? We cyber nosferatu now?
>>22982205we may want to find out more about where we are, find shelter and a newspaper.
>>22982199You are in the very same graveyard. Except for some new tomb stones, and some there for you best friends, it's very much the same.
>>22982132>vampire stuffs you and your friends in>People mourning for youWAT
>>22982132>BUT THE FUTURE REFUSED TO CHANGEAlright, guys. As I see it, we have two options. Either we realize the depths we have sunk to and kill ourselves before we become any more of a monster. Or we go full Alucard.Which do we want to do?
>>22982228do we have a tombstone? is it nice?
>>22982178Agreed. He fucking killed our friends in front of us, forced us to eat another, and sealed us in a coffin where our best friend since childhood suffocated right next to us.We find him, and we fucking end him.
>>22982242it was someone elses coffin obviously vamps was "borrowing it"
I think we should prowl around the graveyard looking for small animals to eat to regain some of our strength
>>22982252what if it was some sort of traditional way to do it? something about strength and shit.
>>22982242I think he meant the sound of other people mourning over nearby graves.Shit, it just occurred to me that we could have force-fed both our buddies our vampire blood to keep them alive and no longer an object of our thirst. Sure, the interval would suck, and it would take longer since we'd be dividing the rats in threes, but it'd be Vampire Bro Squad Quest instead.
>>22982304were it so easy.
(Now per me "railroading" if you have questions ask and I'll do my best to answer them so you can make informed decisions)
>>22982285We still fucking end him. I wouldn't give two fucks about vampire culture here, he fucking murdered our friends horribly and turned us into a wretched monster. He needs to die.
>>22982131That wasn't even me, Glad im not the only one trying not to be a moody dick.Thumbs up dude. Anyway. back to rolling
>>22982132Wait. So we turn, and have vampiric strength enough to take out our friend, but can't save Bill because we don't have vampiric strength to bust open the coffin?OP WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!
>>22982332Oh dude, for sure, he gots to go.Find a newspaper, a bite to eat, and lets start hunting this dude down, we need to avenge them before we an hero.
>>22982132Also,>tears of bloodConfirmed for grimdark weeaboo.
>>22982330Still would probably have been better as intro text, but I liked it. Gives our former humanity and the crimes we've committed a lot more weight.I would've liked it if we had a few more options, like being able to wound the vampire and have him be impressed on a crit or some shit like that. Really, the description how beautiful this guy was gave me a major bad feeling about the direction this quest was going in. I was 70% certain that we were going to end up as some kind o homoerotic vampire loveslave forced to hunt down and kill our own family or something equally stupid. I was pleasantly surprised.
>>22982364we are now on a quest to kill him then ourselves as dramatically as possible
Step one: Find vampireStep two: Kill the shit out of vampireStep three: Reveal the existence of vampires to the worldStep five: To kill yourself or not kill yourself, that is the question.
>>22982459Probably needs a Step zero-point-five: Train own abilities and gain enough resources to successfully complete step two.
Alright guys it might help if you trip up so it's a little harder for the trolls to troll. Make a decision of what you want to do next.
>>22982453>As dramatically as possiblegood work.I suppose this, >>22982477whilst it would be dramatic having a teary, angry scream at the cunt that did this to us, being offed super fast once we find him would be a bit of an anti-climax, lets train up for maximum drama scene affectivness.
>>22982459we should go all queen of the damned.OP will you pull some stupid shit that stops us from starting a rock band with subversive vampire lyrics in order to bring them all out?
>>22982512No...I love the Anne Rice books (and I swear I'm not a fag)But baby steps people. Baby steps.
>>22982512just to be clear yes you can. But why not through another medium?
>>22982543You better have a speech about 3 sided coins between the PC and that vampire
>>22982453>>22982317>>22982285>>22982251>>22982225>>22982178>>22982259>>22982512these are me also i really want to check out our tombstone.
>>22982574fuck lets try this again
>>22982543>>22982559okay then baby steps i just wanted to make sure before it was pursued.
>>22982498Nah, they should probably get bored and go away soon. Or at least by the second thread.
I think we should check out our tombstone and maybe get a bite to eat, like a cat or something
>>22982655no you sick fuck we get a bird or dog, cats caint never done hurt nobodybut yes we check out our tombstone and try to remember as much as possibleso we know what we may be good at
Ok OP, i dont normally like to trip up for threads like this because i enjoy being able to pretend i didnt suggest decisions that went wrong, but this once, as a sign of faith for what i hope is a worthwhile quest, i will.Also, if we start a rock band, which i'm not that into, but if we do, it must surely be of the Queen type right!? Please?
>>22982694i think we should make vidya. its about as original as we could hope to get, im thinking the overall plan of turning as many impressionable teens as possible then we can try to emulate frost and make self sufficient vampire agriculture.
>>22982655You search for your tombstone and find it next to Bill's. It's already worn from the acidity in the rain and it's been a long time since someone stood on the patch of grass. With your new instincts you can feel life teeming all around you, it's almost maddening and like an orchestra playing without end. There is plenty to feed from here; rats, cats, foxes, pigeons...take your pick. roll for hunting 1d100
>>22982739fuck ive never done a quest thread i dont even /tg/ i just like 40k books how do i roll? ill be voting for a fox.
Rolled 41>>22982739Rolling for big game huntan.>>22982761In the email field: dice+(number of dice rolled)d(die size)
Rolled 43>>22982739i guess our parents are old or dead do we have any siblings?
Rolled 29>>22982761>>22982729>>22982688>>22982801forgot my triprolling for fox
>>22982801Just the words, without the brackets.>>22982832Yeah rolling for fox too, they're good at re-population and don't have the inherent awesomeness of cats.
i give up, im not tripcodingfoxes
You quickly hunt down a fox and kill it, draining it off all it's blood. You skin becomes fuller and more healthy, blood flowing through newly opened veins, clarity flows through you.
Rolled 15>>22982801>>22982842Dude if you wanna roll 1d100,then paste the below into your email fielddice+1d100if you wanna tripcode, type whatever name you want into the name field, then a hash mark, followed directly by a simple one word password, only the words before the has will show, (No spaces anywhere )
Alright everyone I'm going to call it a day. I'm going to save this thread and continue tomorrow night. Consider this the introduction to the real damn thing. I'm thinking about just cutting my stuff in for quick reading, I'll just paste these at images on the next thread.
Rolled 39>>22982887Can we remember the way to the local library?Do we look passable for a drug addict or something so we don't freak poeple on the street out too much, or will more food be required?I suggest we should head to the library to check news archives for the night we died, to see what people think happened, and then scan wikipedia or something for a bunch of the major events of the last two decades,
>>22982887with clarity does memory of what we were proficient at come back?>>22982889im sorry i know im horrible but in reality im really stoned and i have never tripped rolled a dice outside of monopoly or done a quest thread, i just wanted to try tabletop games and there are no shops within 200 miles nor anyone to play with and since i already came here for 40k discussion i thought id give a quest thread a shot.ill try to keep the ignorance to a minimum
Rolled 33>>22982887rolling to remember all the awesome songs we wrote while locked in a box for 20 years
>>22982974im rolling to remember those cool vidya ideas
Rolled 11>>22982932Oh dude i dont mind at all, no need to apologise,Sorry. i didnt mean to sound like i was being lame.I just wanted to help, and the sticky is useful but the brackets and ""'s confuse it's info on rolling. You ignorant it the fuck up if you want, asking questions is the quickest way to learn.Quest it tommorrw OP, looking forward to it. Thanks.