>Fuck it, I'm drunk and have imbibed a large amount of vodka. Let's do this shit.Some distance south of Nearfuture City, there was one major event.A transdimensional beach party, made from participants of the fusion of three worlds!>WHO ARE YOU?!>  DAVE DAVIS DAVIDSON, CYBORG>  ABEL BYRNE, ADVENTURER>  GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARS
Grayson Bearson, obviously.
>>23367934>> [>  GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARS
 ABEL BYRNE, ADVENTURER
THE BEAR KING SHALL DEVOUR ALLHE SHALL FUCK ALL THE BITCHES
>>23367934>  GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARS
>>23367934>>  ABEL BYRNE, ADVENTURERI only remember how to play one of these.
>>23367934>>  DAVE DAVIS DAVIDSON, CYBORG
Aww yeah, time to break out the d144s again.[x] GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARSThe others don't even Harrumph. Why are they options?
>>23367934Geayson Bearson, king of all animals
>I, uh, didn't think any further than this. Oh well!Because Exa doesn't care for your votes, you are DAVE DAVIS DAVIDSON, CYBORG. your limbs are totally augmented and awesome, and drowning not far from you is your wife, Amy Tolstoy, in a black bikini.She's also a legless cyborg. Also, her augmented legs don't float. At all.Also within a close range around you is some white-haired sorceress girl in a similarly-white sarong, but she doesn't quite seem to have noticed you yet. Lumbering somewhere nearby is a very large burly bear, though you don't see him at the moment.The recently-freed-from-a-stasis-time-singularity-thingamabob Azure is talking to her own copy, and her own copy's girlfriend (as well as your sister), Dani Davidson.>WAT DO?
>>23368069Save wife, use nano-goop to create paddle legs for her.
>>23368069Oh shit. Introduce ourselves to the sorceress girl.Amy won't drown if she gets her propellerfeet to work.
>>23367934>I'm drunk and have imbibed a large amount of vodka.Yes, we can see that>THROW EVERYONE INTO THE WATER>IT IS A BEACH EPISODE
>>23368069save Amy Tolstoy, hack her legs to float
>>23368005> [X] DAVE DAVIS DAVIDSON, CYBORG>  ABEL BYRNE, ADVENTURER>  GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARS>Nearfurture>not a cyborg master race
>>23368069We should probably save Amy from drowning or some boring shit like that. Or even better, shout at the others until one of them does it for us.
>>23368069Save Amy by throwing her into the air.
>>23368069Apply mechandrites to Amy, hold her out of the water by a leg.
You sway to your feet, and then Mechandrites in hand (well, on shoulder, really) you pull Amy out of the water.She huffs at you. "I almost drowned!" She said.You simply sigh, and turn to Fafnir, not far from you, in orbit. Carefully, you twist off her legs, and then have Fafnir produce lighter, less dense paddlefeet, teleporting them down to you. The Emperor ship's computers quickly nanogoop facilities finish quickly, and you twist them onto your wife's legs."Thanks, Dave." She said, and grinned at you, kissing you on the cheek.You don't respond because the participants of the quest didn't give you anything to say.You turn to the sorceress, and bow."Hello, my name is Dave Davis Davidson." you say, running on autopilot because, again, the participants of the quest didn't give you anything to say."My name is Marigold of New Arcturus." She responded. "... The queen decided to change me into this form. I'm... uh, not sure why. It might have something to do with the swamp brew she and Lea were drinking."
>>23368219"Did someone say Swamp Brew? Because I think someone said Swamp Brew."Teleport our entire supply of Swamp Brew to the beach.
>>23368069Walk on surface underwater, and initiate cyborg piggyback rescue. Walk/cyborg swim back up to white sorceress and introduce ourselves while still in piggyback mode.>implying Amy's multi-atmosphere breathing apparatus malfunctions ever
>>23368219"Swamp Brew you say? Is it anything like booze? Also, would you like to join myself, my wife, and my mistress in sexual shenanigans sometime later today?"
>>23368219"Where are Lea and The Queen?"
>>23368219Oh, it's that chick. She's boring. She doesn't even alter reality with her mind while drunk. We should talk to the Azures instead.
Rolled 2>>23368272david knows swamp brew, space Squids are to blame
>>23368323>It's Dave, never david. Shhh, anon."Did someone say swamp brew?" you ask. "Because I think someone said Swamp Brew."You grin, and your bullfrog thrumming, you order Fafnir to teleport your entire supply of swamp brew to the beach, where the sun and sea meet, the great steel containers simply sitting there.Some kind of... werecat-thing grabs a cup and starts twisting the tap, drinking."Where are Lyra and this... queen?" you ask Marigold."They're, uh, somewhere." Marigold said, waving her arm. you see several people- some witches, some bears, some cyborgs, a bird-person or two, and finally, you see two ... well, twins, is the only thing you can think, though one has white hair and is identical to Marigold in every way, the other has black hair, and she looks very, very.... tired, you suppose. when you make your way over to them, they're giggling, and a tiny, mousy brown haired girl looks up at you, wearing.. a t-shirt and cut-off jeans.
>>23368279"Also, that reminds me of something we put together recently."Dispense two glasses of swamp brew from Amy's special keg titty.
>>23368357>Lyra>Oh, goddamnit, I meant Lea. Fuck.
>>23368357Let's look at everyone there!>Let's make Exabutt describe the entire group!
>>23368357To the mousey girl, "Hello! I'm Dave Davis Davidson? What's your name? Also, would you like to join my harem this evening for a bout of awesome sex?"
>>23368357Offer them more swamp brew.
>>23368357Freeze time, rape everyone.
>>23368357"Do you girls want to go surfing? Fafnir can make waves."Let's get a race going. I want to see Lyra lose it.
>>23368415And (loudly) tell story about a bear hunt you went on last winter, using only 30% of your augmentations.
"Hello!" you say. "I'm Dave Davis Davidson. What's your name?""My name is Kaliel." she said."Also, would you like to join my harem this evening for a bout of awesome sex?"Her eyebrows met, and suddenly, she touched your arm.Then her eyebrows raised."You're... you're not organic." she said."He's a cyborg!" Lucca said, suddenly wrapping her arm around your shoulder, appearing out of nowhere. You watch her chest for a moment, thankful for the skimpy tie-die swimsuit she was wearing. She just shot you a mischevious grin.Kaliel turned to the queen."Ishelda... this guy is creepy." She said.Ishelda stopped giggling, and met your eyes... and hte strange lines in her arm suddenly gleamed, and you felt tremendous force blast you away. You start twirling through the air, and barely land, some distance away, your mechadendrites (which is actually the real name for mechandrites according to 40k lore, which exa didn't know until too late) taking the shock for you.An armored, blond, busty woman watched you land."How do those work?" She asked, and took a deep drink of something. Next to her, a similarly busty woman with a strange claw for a hand did the same. "They look like Forged." the redheaded woman said.
>>23368496"They're my 'drites! They're like tentacles, only they're metal. They're useful AND awesome.Holy crap you two are stacked."
>>23368496"I'm... not entirely sure? What's a forged? I'm Dave, you are?"
>>23368496"They're my drites!""They're all wiggly!""Would you like a ride?"
>>23368496"Who the fuck are you? Are you from that quest I haven't read yet?"
"I'm... not entirely sure?" you ask. "What's a forged?""They're large brass scorpions." The armored woman said."They're my drites!" you say. "They're like tentacles, only they're metal. They're useful *and* awesome. And all wiggly." You say."Interesting. Do you control them with a Gift?" The redheaded woman asked."Holy crap you two are stacked." You say, always one to choose the right thing to say to the ladies."... I'm engaged." The redheaded woman said, and the blonde one winced, as if she thought you were due to burst into flames any time now- and your blood froze when you heard the next person speak."And you." Amy said, wading out of the ocean, shooting you a glare that promised *death*. (But you weren't looking, since holy crap the two girls you were talking to were *stacked*) "Are married."A creeping, horror-filled feeling entered you, as Amy's bullfrog activated, kicking in her quantum computer, as Fafnir refused to respond.
Rolled 14>>23368496how does your claw work?
>>23368496>>23368546"My mechandendrites are not FORGED, they are moleculary constructed with the guidance of advanced nano base cells."introduction.."Now Will you two accompany me back to the party, I have some things to clear up."
>>23368698"That's cheating, Amy! You have more processing power!"
>>23368698"I didn't mean it like that Amy! Look how pretty they are!"RUN LIKE HELL
>>23368698"Me being married doesn't make their tits smaller."
Rolled 13>>23368698>"... I'm engaged." The redheaded woman said, and the blonde one winced, as if she thought you were due to burst into flames any time now- and your blood froze when you heard the next person speak.>"And you." Amy said, wading out of the ocean, shooting you a glare that promised *death*. (But you weren't looking, since holy crap the two girls you were talking to were *stacked*) "Are married.">A creeping, horror-filled feeling entered you, as Amy's bullfrog activated, kicking in her quantum computer, as Fafnir refused to respond.it was just a joke, and i'm out of my mind obviously
>>23368698To Tori: "I control them with my spine."To Amy: "I was just making an observation! It's not like I was gonna DO anything. Wait, how are you walking on flippers?"
>>23368698https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftt4f2H3GDsits our only hope
>>23368698Mentally account for our imbibed liquor (slash swamp brew) and determine that we've passed "too much" and hit "not enough" territory.Then turn off the booze simulation.
>>23368698"Why yes, but I was pondering the idea of a sort of.. swap meet. Wouldn't you be interested?" >Activate directed emp burst, freeze time rape everyone.>from theicMo
"Amy, honey, am I being a jerk again?"(when she says yes)"Okay hold on a sec, I'm turning my drunk program off."(turn it off)Get down on one knee in a begging position, "I sincerely apologize for my rude behavior, and humbly beg your forgiveness. My body is immune to alcohol, I can't actually get drunk so I made something to simulate it. It doesn't always work right."
"Me being married doesn't make their tits smaller." you say, because Exa is directly choosing the worst choices anyone suggested ever.She shot you a glare, and then.. the worst thing happened.She raised the Javelin."Wait, where did you hide that?" You asked, and then did the only thing you had left- you ran.>SINCE DAVE DAVIDSON DAVIDSON DAVIDSON IS MISSING IN ACTION, WHO ARE YOU?>  ABEL BYRNE>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUS
>>23368859[X] Kristoph, Knight of New Arcturus
>>23368069>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUS
>>23368859GRAYSON, KING OF THE BEARS, HARRUMPHS YOUR INFERIOR OPTIONS AND MAULS THEM BOTH INTO:>[x]GRAYSON, PRINCE OF THE UNIVERSE
>>23368859>>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUSbest kristoph.
>>23368859>>23368069>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUS
>>23368859>>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUSO ill drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and fight and if i see a pretty girl ill sleep with her tonight
Rolled 99>>23368859>>  KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUS
>>23368859> ABEL BYRNESome one's gotta vote differently. And I'll be that one.
>>23368859Kristoph!Fuck that Abel guy.
>>23368918Your a butt.
>>23368859>[X] Abel Byrne>>23368918Ho, fellow ThatGuY!
>>23368859GOD DAMNIT>muh cyborg survivability>freezetime, rape everyone was a better option>  GRAYSON BEARSON, KING OF BEARS>  DAVE DAVIDSON DAVIDSON REBOOT> [Fuk-a-you,] ABEL BYRNE> [Questmaster!] KRISTOPH, KNIGHT OF NEW ARCTURUS
Rolled 77>>23368988dave didn't have freezetime, amy did
>>23368988dave lost his freezetime when he lost his head.
>>23369019>He did have bullettime, though.Your name is KRISTOPH (SOMETHING), and Exa has forgotten Kristoph's surname! something about Cerulean, or something.Also, you're in a place you don't understand, with people you don't know.One is a gruff man with robotics shoved into his wrists, alongside a sweet young girl, two twin albino women, and a penguin.You're not sure how you recognized the penguin. They're from orcish lands, maybe?Regardless, you are the antiwizard, knight Kristoph of Arcturus, and your sword made by orcs to channel your peculiar antimagic.The penguin squawks, and gives you a glare.It doesn't like you.
>>23368937Damn, my secret has been revealed.
>>23369076Ignore the penguin.Walk over to the two albino women."Hello Ladies. How are you this lovely day? Might you tell me where I am?"And keep an eye out for Marigold. She's probably being picked on by Ishy.
>>23369076Squawk back. We are not going to be intimidated by a penguin.
>>23369076CHALLENGE IT TO A DUEL FOR OUR HONOR
>>23369076Challenge the penguin to a duel, for it has impugned our honor!
You ignore the penguin, and turn to the two albino twins."Hello, ladies." You say, bowing. "How are you, this lovely day?""Quite good." One woman said, smiling up at the sky. "Freedom is pleasant."The other simply sighed, and shrugged, following her twin sister as she looked up.The young, pretty girl grinned up at you. "Exa can't think of anything about me except for the smut anon wrote, so insert what I'm saying with whatever fits my characterization!" She said. "Also, for the quest participants to understand without breaking your narrative, my name is Dani!"You blink at her.And then you draw your sword, glaring at the penguin who impugned your honor!And then... it draws it's own.It's own sword shimmers between hammer, sword, and spear. It wields the avatar, the only thing your own antimagic cannot dominate.>Roll 1d100 for duel!
Rolled 92>>23369167Oh gods, Kristoph is going to die.
Rolled 115>>23369167I channel the spirit of Grayson into my sword.
>>23369076Strategically ignore penguin, but be aware of all it's actions.Approaching the man, I touch the reassuring hilt of my prized sword, feeling for any heretical energy. Hello, my name is KRISTOPH NABOKOV ex. SJ sharks(teal color) goaile's nameI question him. "Sir it appears to me you may have been through a great war of star's fire. I have witnessed some my self, and feel like I have seen a similar wrist augmentation. Is this true?"
Rolled 90>>23369167"What are your names, fair ladies, so that I might fight for your honour?"ROLLING FOR SHANKING THE FEET OF THAT UGLY BIRD.
Rolled 142>>23369167penguin smashes Kristoph's toes with the hammer
After some quick dynamic badass swordfighting, you easily best the penguin with your own expert swordwork, since anon rolled a 92 on the first roll!The penguin pouts, and Dani pulled him into a hug."Aw,, Fen, you'll be fine.""Fen? Is that his name?" Kaliel asked, suddenly appearing next to Dani and the penguin."Yah, that's his name." Dani said."He's so cute." kaliel said, and started tickling his belly. The penguin squeaked."Do you know where Marigold is?" you ask Kaliel. She went red."She's, uh, in Ishy's form right now." Kaliel responded, pointing you toward your queen in a white sarong.Though, looking at her expression, she looked much less like your queen, and much more like the young duchess who had chased after you...The one who you still hadn't decided if you should persue or not.>What do?!?!?!?
Rolled 30>>23369265>you should persuelike taht's even a question
>>23369265> persue her
>>23369265Let's make Kaliel uncomfortable by pursuing Marigold despite the fact that she looks like Ishy!
Rolled 51>>23369167I have prepared tactical pocket sand, in addition to my sword, and am ready to blind and eviscerate the penguin.>did I roll right?
Rolled 36>>23369265We are romancing the girl, of course.Buy her flowers and/or an ice cream from that girl with the frost powers.
Rolled 46>>23369265for words: Tell Kaliel "I had better talk to her, since you're picking on her."and tell Marigold. "How's it going, little miss curls?"
>>23369265Pursue, you fool, pursue!
Walking up to the your queen, she goes mildly pink as she spots you.You bow low, and by the powers anon bestowed upon you... you retroactively purchase some flowers and oh fuck, exa just emailed a chick he is interested in and said several things that cannot be unsaid. Whoops.Anyway, you raise up some flowers you retroactively purchased - and fought the penguin while carrying, apparently, without damaging the flowers-and she went pinker."How's it going, little miss curls?" You ask the girl who has perfectly straight hair.She went pinker. It was almost impossible to go pinker than she was pink."It's... um... going." She said.
Rolled 89>>23369407Good luck exabutt."Have you tried the water yet? It looks divine."
>>23369407Exa, you dog you! Harrumph quest is the best quest.
>>23369407"BUT HOW? HOW IS IT GOING? Wanna fuck?"
Rolled 76>>23369428"You're thinking of going for a swim, perhaps..?"Semi-turn and hold out your hand
"Have you tried the water yet?" You ask. "It looks divine.""It does." Marigold said "But... um.."She goes silent, but you know her well enough to know that she's silent because she's wary of her form- that she was scared of embarrasing Ishelda- or, perhaps, scared of embarrasing herself in Ishelda's form. Something about swimsuits.
Rolled 1>>23369407"You're thinking of going for a swim, perhaps..?"Semi-turn and hold out your hand
Rolled 87>>23369543Take her hand."Come on, I won't let you drown."
>>23369543"I can see you're embarrassed about that swimsuit. Why not just take it off?"
>>23369543this is non canon anyways lets have some fun
Rolled 35>>23369543"How about we just walk along the shore until we find a nicer spot to get wet and salty? I'll show you how to catch crabs!"
>>23369585>drownThat is not how you spell "down". Why would you make a typo like that?
you hold out a hand, and give her a little smile."Come on, I won't let you drown.""I know how to swim." She says.But not with this form, she doesn't say, but is evident on her face.But then, abruptly, as if Exa wants things to end up well, the spell on the girl wore off, and she became Marigold proper- a curly, blond-haired girl, with a bust that blew the strange Lyra girl- from an order named after you, apparently- completely out of the water.She also burst out of her swimsuit, of course- clothes designed for Ishelda wasn't going to be big enough for Marigold, of course.She did some animu squealing, and covered herself, pulling her beach towel around herself.
>>23369749Carry her off into the sunset. If the sun isn't setting yet, challenge it to a duel and force it to.
>>23369749Turn the other way and offer her our shirt.Take the inevitble face punch on the chin, and pretend to be thrown back by it."Curse you Exabyte, your imagination doesn't create cloth strong enough!"
>>23369749Add Marigold to inventory, take Marigold to Ishelda, suggest that maybe Ishelda should supply Marigold with a new swim suit.
>>23369805Or Amy, they've got that smart goup stuff.
>>23369749ask amy to "magic" up a swim suit for marigold
>>23369749looks like we are skinny dipping remove pants and dive in
you close your eyes and turn the other way, peeling off your own shirt, and handing it out behind you, where Marigold took it, slipping it on."This is really soft." She said, quietly. "Is it made of nervghaul wool?" you nod, and she gave you a small smile.Suddenly, you feel something come over you.You scoop her into your arms, and Marigold gasped, and clung to you. Then,.. you start walking into the ocean, and when you got to your waist, she 'eeked', and then you... willed time itself to change.And, surprisingly, you did.the sunset sat ahead of you, and it was beautiful. Marigold gasped, and widened her eyes... and then she settled further into your arms, looking out into the sunset."Kristoph." she said, quietly. She met your eyes... and then gave you a mischevious grin."Let's get some swamp brew, shall we?"
>>23370227"Of course, Milady! How could I forget?!"Put Marigold onto a floating inflatible couch thing and make haste to Dave's swamp brew supply!
"Of course, milady!" You say. "How could I forget!?"you grin at Marigold, and setting her down on a 'floatie', you think it's called, a new device in this strange 'futurecity' world. Anxiously, she settled in, as you waded out of the water and make your way to the strange 'cyborg's swamp brew supply, gathering enough mugs for both you and marigold, making your way back into the water.Then, your decision made by anon, you give her a mug...And then a kiss.Which she returns, surrounded by te light of the sunset.>And here is when exa calls the end of the thread, due to being incredibly drunk right now.>also, I've been utterly unable to quest for nearly an hour now. Which is why I've been so slow.>Finally, if you've questions about any of the threads or whatever I'll answer. >End thread!
>>23370286Bring her the biggest mug we can find. With one of those little drink umbrellas.
>>23370614Can we have a Harrumph Quest 3 Part II when you are next drunk, but slightly less so?
>>23370828>Probably not, really, sorry. I'll probably forget at the time. Or something.