"If you wish to embark upon the path of the demon summoner, you must keep in mind the following: despite their role in mythology as indescribable horrors from some form of purgatory, and despite many of their unique abilities, demons as we know them are as much beings of flesh and blood as your average human, elf, dwarf, or anything else."Also keep in mind that while demons are theorized to hail from a different dimension (which is itself attached to our own reality like a parasitic lamprey to the side of a trout), they do NOT have any innately unique qualities that make them any more susceptible to being magically bound to your will than other beings of similar magical fiber."What makes demonic summoning feasible, however, is that they fall under the category of extraplanar beings, similar to elementals and other summonable creatures. Since the demons' home dimension is so closely aligned to our own, it's a relatively simple matter to temporarily punch a hole in the barrier, grab a demon, and bring it here."The hard part, of course, is everything else. You must be lucky enough to summon something strong enough to be worth the effort, and yet weak enough that it won't rip your head off, tear open a new hole in reality, and bring the rest of its friends over for a blood-soaked rampage through your village."If you're REALLY lucky, though, you either 1) have some sort of artifact that allows you to easily enslave something stronger than yourself, 2) find an easily-tricked demon isolated from the rest of its brethren, or 3) all of the above."(Cont.)
AWWWWW YEAH BABYIT'S DICE TIME
>>24326141-----------------------------------------------Ogir Place (+Floating, +Limbs, +Sandstorm Drill, +Magma Shield, +Steering Wheel)-----------------------------------------------Population: 153/153 ogres (6 dead), 84/84 elves, ∞/∞ patchwings, 50/50 Solar Skellies- [Landmarks] Oasis, Daphnaia, Underground Cave/Quarry [50% mined]- [Food] Cacti(-ow), Fungi, Wheat, Potatoes, Ravager Meat, Milk; Fair Growth (+32/turn)- [Resources] Hellfire Energy [Captive Archdemon Lord], Sandstone, Iron+Chromite Ores, Featherstone, Aquifer Pebbles- [Diplomacy] Scaratone [ALLIED; Featherstone Carts, Fungi, Paper]; Felpowder Elves [UNITED]; Achievement Hunter Dwarves [???]- [Key Items] Tomes (Dragon Lore, Illusory Magic I, Necromancy I), Crazy Ghost's Books- [Arms] Cactus Maces, Iron Scimitars, Heat-Seeking Rokkit Launchers, Short-Ranged Bow+Arrow, Crude Iron Armor, Demon Helm/Shoulderpads; Ur-Camouflage- [Vocations] OGRES: Geo (∞), Berserks (4), BMasters (1), Rockkits (0), Riders (0), Heallusionist (0)- [Beasts] Giant Bats (trained), Naked Mole Ravagers (trained)- [Settlement] Reinforced Rock Shanties, Storehouse, Mushroom Farms, Pier, Anchor/Staircase, THE FLAMES OF HELL- [NPCs] Boss Bawss Fistboss [+30 Diplomacy], Geomancer Gubbins [+30 Geomancy, +WE ALL GEOMANCERS NOW, +Ruoumoko], Beastkrumpa Squiggles Irwin [+Beast Whisperer, Big Vulture], Celicia Silverstone [???], Vultan [???]- [Tech] Fire, Fish, Agriculture[+Protection], Cooking, Tea, Mine, Smelt/Forge, Write/Read, Hats, FStone Flight, FStone Airdrops, Airships, Ur-Cartography- [Magic] Geomancy X, Healing I, Illusion I, Necromancy I, Time I, Climate Control 0- [Economy] System=Barter; Currency=Shit- [Justice] Krumpin' Duels / Boss Knows Best-----------------------------------------------ROLLS>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID>90-98: Stupidly Successful>60-90: Successful>40-60: Adequate>10-40: Not So Good>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT >1: LUCKY STUPID(Cont.)
>>24326173After quite a few weeks of build-up, preparation, and some unexpected hitches, the battle between the ogres' very first allies and their mortal enemies is finally underway.Led by their great prophet, the Yellow Ant, the roiling, eerily synchronized mass of Formichroma warriors charge toward the waiting ranks of the Scaratone. Here and there, squads of ogres stand tall on the front lines, towering over their beetle-men allies. Behind the front lines are the Felpowder Elves, who compensate for their smaller numbers by wielding the only (real) firearms to be found for miles. Behind THEM are the ogres' wild-card spellcasters, who are guarding the Scaratone Queen from harm. And somewhere underneath it all are a small group of dwarven engineers, who have left many nasty surprises for the Formichroma to find the hard way...... and right now, Boss Bawss Fistboss, boss of the ogres, is ignoring all of that as he glares daggers at the Yellow Ant, clear across the battlefield. Just before the prophet retreated behind his ranks of soldiers, he revealed that he wields the cursed sword Coreweaver, which is in fact some kind of terrifying spider demon who once lived in the bowels of the earth.The only problem is that this is a terrifying spider demon that Boss Bawss Fistboss thinks of as a nice person, and a new friend ("friend" being best described as "someone who Boss Bawss was willing to give a happy ogre-ish hug to.") Boss Bawss is also reasonably certain that Coreweaver isn't exactly happy about this state of affairs.To Boss Bawss Fistboss, an ogre leader of many morals, that just rustles his jimmies like nothing else.(Cont.)
Haha! Time for Ogres!
>>24326192Currently, Boss Bawss Fistboss is piloting his Ogretek Armor, and is command of a small squadron of vulture-like Patchwings and Solar-Powered Skeletons (it's complicated).The Formichroma have just started charging, and have yet to reach melee range; the Scaratones (and everyone else) are holding their positions.[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.[ ] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.[ ] [HOBNOB] Remotely talk to your squad leaders.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.Ogres gotta ogre
>>24326214[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.Let's hold back for now. The Yellow Ant will get his, but only at the right time.
>>24326214>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.KRUMPIN' TIME, MAH NEGROES
>>24326214[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed. And if everyone's doing fine: [X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.
[X] HOBNOB[X] MAGIC[X] OTHER: Challenge the Yellow Ant to single combat to free Coreweaver!
>>24326214>[x] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.Give them the stick.
>>24326214Well. As soon as we have the chance, we need to charge the Prophet, grab the Coreweaver sword, and use Ogre-ness to release Coreweaver from imprisonment by binding her to the Ogretek armor instead. Thus, Coreweaver and Bawss can lay the beatdown on the prophet together.Of course, we'll let her out immediately after the battle. We're friends, after all.But for now, we need to use our wits.[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed.
>>24326214>[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.>[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.Gubbins, help me fuck this guy up, he took our new spider-friend!
>>24326214[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.We end this. Here. Now. On turn one.Roll your 99s my Ogre brothers! Then we'll cash in our Lucky Fate Chip, and SUPERKILL him DOUBLEDEAD!
>>24326214[X][OBSERVE]Hold the line, give dem dorfs to work a lil' of their magic before we lay the smackdown.
>>24326214[X] [OBSERVE] Hold back, see how the first clash goes, move to support if needed
Actually, what are the odds Gubbins can finagle up something to free Coreweaver right here and now?
>>24326214[ ] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.[ ] [MAGIC] Use Gubbins' talents.Time to go save our new friend.Last Second encouragement for our Boys"BOYS! THESE FORMICHROMA HAVE HURT OUR FRIENDS AND KILLED OUR BOYS! ARE WE GONNA STAND FOR IT?!((Boys answer: NO!))THEN WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!((KRUMP THEM))"
>>24326214>[x]Tell Gubbins to summon Ruoumoko to the party.>[x] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.We could break their entire war effort with one alpha-strike. Take out the prophet and crush their morale.
>[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] FUCK EVERYTHING. CHARGE THE PROPHET. END IT NOW.It's all ogre now.
>>24326492Pretty low, since any plan will have to be a little more specific than "pump magic energy in their general direction and hope for the best"
>>24326585>any plan will have to be a little more specific than "pump magic energy in their general direction and hope for the best"That sounds like a challenge to me. GET THE MAP!Seriously, that map is insta'win. Use the map!
>>24326652How in the hell would the map help us free Coreweaver?
>>24326702Easy. We draw Coreweaver on the map. She can't be in two places at once, can she?
>>24326702By drawing a giant spider demon on the map and name it Coreweaver, we just might free her.Or summon another giant demon-spider.
>>24326775>>24326746This could backfire horribly or just not work. A good krumpin' should do the trick just fine.
>>24326821But then Coreweaver can't help with the krumpin'! That's not Ogre Justice!
>>24326775Hmmm... how to free Coreweaver... gotta think like an Ogre.Prophet stabs Ogretek armor. Sword gets stuck. Sword, and Coreweaver, are therefore technically part of Bawss's armor, so we can let her out at anytime. Job done.
>>24326843She can help krump after.
>>24326702Draw a picture of a giant spider-demon coming out of a broken sword.
>>24326843well ogre justice is boss knows best first. and we know that this guy needs a good krumpin
>>24326821Agreed. Let's save map shennanigans for later.
[x] Omni-aggressWe gonna aggress so hard we retroactively created the idea of aggression.Typical orge shit in other words.
>>24326746>>24326775>>24326865Does the map work for things that do not constitute permanent geological features? >>243265850%? Sounds like 100% to me! By which I mean, INTERVENTION TIME.
>>24326843We can take Coreweaver from that prophet guy and krump him with her, problem solved.
>>24326821>This could backfire horriblyThe fact that you think this is an argument AGAINST doing something shows me you don't get how Ogre Quest works.That is an excellent argument FOR something.Ogres.
>>24326932I'm more against it because the dice love us enough without outright cheating. Using that map that way feels dirty.
>>24326932>>24326963I think we left the map on Ogir Place.
>>24326896Trees are not permanent geological features.Seriously, it's a magic map that just says 'FUCK YOU' to reality its self.This has potential to be extremely Ogreish.
Lead the charge!
>>24327000Guys, guys. . . It takes too long for Ogres to draw.Do you really want Boss Bawsss out of the action for twenty minutes while he gets out his crayons and tries to draw Coreweaver?
>>24327050As funny as that sounds, no.
>>24326963Oh, c'mon. It'll be fucking hilarious!Yellow Ant was all "I am the Chosen One" "I am invincible" "I wield the sword of Dues Ex Machina""Blah, blah, blah, I'm just awesome and great and super special"Then, before the action even starts, "WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY SWORD?"That's why you shouldn't make a boring opening monolog revealing the secrets of your magic weapons, dumbass!
>>24326214>[X] [SUPER AGGRESS] 'ERE WE GOBoss Bawss Fistboss narrows his eyes as he watches the Yellow Ant stand stock still, allowing the Formichroma troops to flow past him. It's not hard to intuit the prophet's plan: put an army between him and the enemy. If things start going south, or if there's a chance for him to strut his stuff, the Yellow Ant can jump in and support the Formichroma as needed. More importantly, keeping to the back of the army will just about put the Yellow Ant out of reach for most of the battle.In an instant, Boss Bawss realizes four things:1) He simply cannot allow the Yellow Ant to get away.2) For once in his life, he is very, very mad.3) Someone is yelling very loudly. To his surprise, it's him.4) He has already started moving."NNNNNRRRRAAAA-"The battle, barely under way as it is, nearly grinds to a halt as a titanic roar seems to shake the earth itself, sowing momentary terror among both sides and causing everyone to look around for its source."- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-"Those with the presence of mind to look UP then can't help but gawk as a rather large ogre clad in even bigger enchanted armor hurtles through the air, almost as if the laws of physics (and any meticulously laid-out plans and strategies) were nothing but an afterthought."-AAAAAAAAAAARRRR-"T-minus five seconds before impact, the Yellow Ant's armored head snaps up, his large eyes widening even further as he wraps his mind around the size, velocity, and the sheer impossibility of the THING headed his way, and starts scrambling away with almost indecent haste."-RRRRRROOOOO- oh."(cont.)
Rolled 93>>24326141Awwight lets do this!
>>24327239T-minus three seconds before impact, Boss Bawss snaps out of his haze of rage, stares down at the rapidly-approaching Formichroma ranks (and the individual soldiers staring right back at him with mounting horror), and very calmly realizes that he isn't sure if his armor is durable enough to withstand the impact.Well, there's only one way to find out.[ ] [BUTTON] Push a random button![ ] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons![ ] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum![ ] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24327156So you're saying that you want Bawss, currently shaking with rage over the treatment of his friend, to stop everything in the middle of battle to get out his map and crayons to draw Coreweaver, actively using the reality warping power that typically works for Ogres because they don't really understand what they're doing?Bad form.
Rolled 79>>24327255[X] Megaton Punch the ground with Mecha Channeled Geomancy
>>24327255>[ ] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!And maybe the Goddess of Luck Intervention
[X][EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!ALL OF THEM!!
>>24327255[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!Welcome to Indiana Jones Time, Yellow Ant. HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN!?
[x] ROLLING!We will become a boulder of justice.
Rolled 17>>24327255>[ ] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces!WHO the hell do you think be are KICK!
>>24327255you really have to ask.[ ] [EVERYTHING]
>>24327294>HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN!?You just gave me the image of us hysterically and evily laughing while rolling down all the Formichroma, chasing Yellow Ant and yelling "HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?!?! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HOW FAST CAN YOU RUN?!"
>>24327255[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!Rolling rolling rolling! Keep that Ogre rolling!
>>24327255>[x] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!>[x] [STOMP] Fuck dispersion, cushion your fall with your mech's feet on their faces!Randomly hit buttons while charging forward insanely.Seems like the Ogre thing to do in this situation.
Wait, why not do[X] [WRITE-IN] ALL OF THE ABOVELet's press ALL the buttons while rolling on top of him!! OGRES!!
Rolled 50>>24327255Engage the button that says "Stop in Mid-Air."
Rolled 20>>24327255Use our latent geomancy to cushion our fall.Right on top of the Yellow Ant.While pushing all the buttons.Wot could go wrong?
>>24327255Everything!Stomp!One of the buttons has got to do something good, but if not we'll just take em out old school.
All of the above!
>>24327255>and the individual soldiers staring right back at him with mounting horrorThe answer is obvious.[X] [WRITE-IN] Time to play Chicken.-[X] [MAGIC] Reinforce your armor (with rocks?) to make the point.
[X] [ROLL] Turn your ground-hitting momentum into forward... rolling... momentum!
>>24327435I'm with this guy, Push all the buttons randomlywhile doing a rolling stomp into the guy's face.
>>24327255[ROLL] Because why land on a few of 'em when you can roll over a bunch of 'em and STILL hit Yellow Ant?
>>24327255>'hit all the buttons' wins>MAY THE GODS HELP US ALL>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 26>>24327534Oh boy!
Rolled 16>>24327534'ERE WE GO, BOYS!
Rolled 59>>24327558What the shit.
Rolled 60>>24327558OH SHIT
>>24327558Drop everything! We just destroyed them.
Rolled 63>>24327534>>24327558it begins
Rolled 41>>24327534Beseeching the Goddess.
>>24327572>>24327575DOUBLESAnd the 2nd post has doubles in it's post too.
Rolled 93>>24327558>>24327572>>24327575Oh good gods.
>>24327558Well. Yellow is toast.
Rolled 82>>24327558Well, there goes Blorp's sanity.
>>24327558I feel bad for Blorp sometimes.
>>24327558>>24327572>>24327575I'd forgotten how much I missed this.
>>24327605>Well, there goes Blorp's sanity.>Implying he still has it.
Rolled 73>>24327606He has to be a masochist man.
Rolled 44>>24327598Holy christ.100, two 59's right next to eachother, and my 59 had a double 75 in the post number.ALL HAIL THE RNG!
>>24327583It has already ended.
>>24327255[X] STOMPDo the Mario! Bounce off of the soldier's heads, and land next to the prophet!
>>24327558Well, I was going to roll, but OGRES.We yell 'Aurysix Away!'
Rolled 44>>24327647YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS
>>24327647There, there, Blorp. It's okay. Someday we'll roll badly. Then we'll just call upon the goddess to fix it.
>>24327647I thought 100 was actually bad?So brilliant it's stupid and all that?
Rolled 65>>24327634>>24327666I don't even>served ngsdael
>>24327669Stupid, brilliant, and lucky are all basically synonyms for the purposes of Ogres.
>>24327634>>24327666>there were no rolls in betweenFUCK-
Rolled 98>>24327666YOU GOT A 666 IN YOUR POST NUMBE TOO YOU BRILLIANT MOTHERFUCKER
>>24327669See>>24326173>ROLLS>>Any Doubles: STUPID LUCKY>>100: SO BRILLIANT IT'S STUPID>>90-98: Stupidly Successful>>60-90: Successful>>40-60: Adequate>>10-40: Not So Good>>2-10: SO STUPID THAT IT'S BRILLIANT >>1: LUCKY STUPID
>>24327648I seem to have been a bit too late.>>24327558>>24327572>>24327575>>24327634>>24327666OH MY GOD.
>>24327669Well, I HAD planned it to be more "amazing but not necessarily(?) useful at this point in time." It'd be like trying for a tech advancement and getting something so amazing and advanced that you lack the intermediate techs to make reasonable use of it yet (i.e. discovering nuclear fission at a time the ogres had just discovered dirt farming)..... of course, with ogres being ogres, who knows?also why does the luck keep happening THE ROLLS ARE ALREADY OVER-
>>24327758>THE ROLLS ARE ALREADY OVER-THE ROLLS ARE NEVER OVER
>>24327534>>24327558MY NAME IS BOSS BOSS, LEADER OF THE OGRES. NOW OGRES, TRANSFORMER AND SQUASH THOSE BUGS!
Rolled 95>>24327758Hahah. We still love you.
>>24327758Because the rolls have a love-hate relationship with you.
>>24328048This is the only kind of Ogretron I will ever accept as canon.
>>24328048>>24328088Meanwhile: Every single one of our allies are face palming. And then we accidentally fall on our enemies and win.
Rolled 23Inb4 the armour transforms into an Evangelion in berserker mode.
>>24328180Or Iron Giant gun mode.
>>24328180>inb4 Armour transforms into either a transformer or a Toa
Rolled 84>>24328201But the Iron Giant dies.Fuck that gave my 8 year old self the feels.
>>24328180It transforms into a butt, and we sit on the fucker.
>>24328180Obviously we locked the missiles onto Yellow Ant, fired our jetboots to land, as we painted all nearby formichroma in flamethrowers, burning them to death. Their screams muted by the heavy metal elven music from the future about how Ogres burn all their enemies and destroy the world (because Ogres, fuck yeah, melting your brains and burning your world away!) and launching the pyrotechnic display to create a wall of fire between the two armies.And then the missiles launched.Shock and Awe.
>this time between Blorps next post>that irreplaceable yearning and anticipation
>>24328257No he doesn't
>>24327534(While I do know that you need time, it's been about 46 minutes)
>>24328369Really? I could have swore he went kaboom when he launched himself into the sky with The Bomb. It's been over a decade since I've watched it.. memory is fuzzy.I'll haft to rewatch it now...
>>24328428The last scene is the remaining bolt rolling out of Hogarth's room to link up with the Giant's other pieces. His head is in the Arctic Circle or some shit and it shows his eyes open and him smiling before credits roll
>>24328456Huh. I had even forgotten Hogarth's name it's been so long.Downloading. I need to relive my childhood. Might as well grab Titan AE and Atlantis while I'm at it.
>>24328532>Titan AE, Atlantis, Iron GiantMah nigga!
>waiting for dis next post
Did Blorp fall asleep?Or did he finally have that aneurysm that's been building up?
>>24327534>>24327558>>24327572>>24327575>>24327634>[X] [EVERYTHING] Push ALL the buttons!>roll all the numbersIn an instant, Boss Bawss Fistboss makes his decision. And at that moment, the larger ogre mashes both hands against every single button on the dashboard for the armored suit that he doesn't quite recall how to duplicate, having slapped together mundane and magical objects and ended up with a sum far greater than its component parts-Years later, no two veterans of this battle will be able to accurately describe what the Ogretek Armor did at that moment. No matter how close the veterans were to the scene in question, no matter which side or faction they belonged to, and no matter how much alcohol the veterans imbibed while telling this part of the story, NO two people could ever agree on a single, unified description of Boss Bawss's actions.Thousands of miles away, certain esteemed magi or those with a certain magical/psionic sensitivity very nearly passed out as the very fabric of reality seemed to rip itself apart and sew itself back together in the very same instant. Even those without any talent in magic stumbled, feeling the ground beneath them shudder AND remain perfectly still AND jump a few hundred yards to the left, all at once. The highest echelons of certain civilizations, already mildly terrified by that inexplicable dicking of the time half of the space-time continuum, nearly went into conniptions as the space half suddenly decided to step out for a quick jaunt to the metaphysical convenience store, taking along its good pals physics, Euclidean geometry, and sanity.(Cont.)
>>24328748Elsewhere, a good many two-bit evil cults took this as a cue to ramp up their nefariously annoying, mildly evil plots, opening a lot of jobs for many rookie adventurers over the next few weeks. Elsewhere ELSE, one group in particular also took reality's shitting itself as a cue to ramp up its own nefariously annoying plot, refining it into something liable to give most civilizations a pretty big headache somewhere along the line... but that's neither here nor there, of course.Here and now, those unfortunate Formichroma standing in the way of Boss Bawss Fistboss's Ogretek Armor are absolutely entranced and terrified by the way reality seems to fracture around the ten foot tall mech, splits along the seams revealing shrieking drill bits, strange metal boxes unleashing thousands of cloud-trailing missiles, charging beams of pure light, and more bizarrely-articulated blades than anyone has room for, /all of these space-intensive weapons impossibly sharing the same amounts of space on the robot/. Everything is impossibly jutting out of the Ogretek Armor, making it look like blades on the Swiss Army Knife to end all Swiss Army Knives.Having barely managed to scramble away from the chaos, the Yellow Ant is flung away like a rag doll as the impact site actually detonates in a fiery cataclysm, hurling wailing Formichroma soldiers every which way. The prophet, wincing and shielding his eyes against the glow and the smoke, struggles to regain his footing-- only to gape as the smoke cloud /bulges outward/, framing two pairs of eyes- one pair glowing and mechanical, and one pair ogre-y and really quite grumpy.Bereft of his guards, and any backup close enough to run interference, the Yellow Ant swiftly draws Coreweaver and aims a slash at Boss Bawss Fistboss, moving again with that terrifying burst of speed he'd shown in the depths of Daphnaia.[ ] [DODGE][ ] [PARRY][ ] [COUNTER][ ] [ALL THE FUCKING BUTTONS AGAIN][ ] [WORDS][ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>24328759[X] [DISARM]-[X] [LITERALLY, IF NECESSARY]
>>24328759Disarm, literally take his sword arm and remove it from him. Fuck Yellow Ant, he does not get to keep her.
>>24328759>[ ] [DODGE]Dodge, then drill Yellow Ant's head in.Lady Luck Intervention Roll!Is Yellow Ant an insectoid, Asian Anthony Cumia?
>>24328759"SHE IS A CUTE SPIDER THAT I HUGGED AND YOU PLAN TO USE HER AS A WEAPON AGAINST ME?"GIVECOREWEAVERTOMEAll the buttons.
>>24328759>[ ] [WRITE-IN]Catch it and rip it from his hands.
>>24328759[WRITE-IN] Ignore the attack; punch Yellow Ant in the face.
>>24328795>>24328818Seconding these. Can we use the Luck Intervention to free Coreweaver?
>>24328759[X] [DISARM] Literally. Even if not necessary.If fact, ESPECIALLY if not necessary.
>>24328759First and foremost we're freeing out new friend![X] DODGE[X] GIT DAT SWORD!
>>24328759Bear hug the yellow ant to death, ogres give the best hugs.
>>24328759>[X] [DISARM] Literally. Even if not necessary.
[X] [DISARM] Literally, if necessary.
>>24328855And stab him with Corewaver.
>>24328852Let's see how we roll first, then we'll decide whether we need to pull out the INTERVENTION.
Sorry for that delay back there, had to take care of a few things!>>24328826>>24328852WELP, the intervention was always meant to reroll a bad roll, not likedo everythingwhich just make things more terrifying than they already arewho is Anthony Cumia, google is not giving me information things
>>24328759That little bug got hisself the attention of Boss Bawss, he done fucked up.
>>24328884Yes.In fact, forget the dodging. Just grab the sword and stab him with it!
>>24328795What this guy said, Disarm him!
Release the Machine Spirit from it's bindings. Let it back us up as we take Yellow Ant in single combat.It's Ogre-o-Bug now. Time ta krump 'em.
>>24328759Would Disarming count as a Combat Roll? Will we get a +30 bonus for it? 'Cause if we do, I'm voting for it.
>>24328759>[x] [WORDS]Say hi to Coreweaver.>[x] [DODGE]>[x] [MOVE LEFT]>[x] [PARRY]>[x] [COUNTER]>[x] [MOVE RIGHT]>[x] [LUNGE FORWARD]>[x] [SPIN ON THE SPOT]>[x] [JUMP BACKWARD]All. At. The. Same. Time.We already broke reality. Might as well have some fun with it. Let's see how many places we can be in at the same time.inb4 we break his mind, leaving him defeated and weeping on the ground, without ever touching him.
>>24328906Aww...Anthony Cumia, co-host of the Opie and Anthony radio show.
>>24328906How about if we use it on a good roll? Would we just, like, add to the luck?
>>24328759Dodge, dip, dive, duck, and... [X]DISARM
>>24329038I think it really just replaces the result with something amazing and mind breaking. Goddess of Luck just looks at reality and goes, "Naw that's not what happens. This is what happens."So really it would be a waste to use it on an already good roll unless we need it to be batshit crazy amazing.
>>24329038Basically, >>24329074 has it right.
>>24328748>>24328759>mfw Bawss achieves CHIMDragonbreaks, dragonbreaks all ogre the place.
>>24328759> [ALL THE FUCKING BUTTONS AGAIN]Press ALL the buttons!
>>24328759>[X] [DISARM] by a landslide, with a side order of>[X] [CATCH-TAKE]damn, Yellow Ant doesn't get a break, huhLET'S DO THIS>***STUPID LUCKY TIME?***ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Rolled 33>>24329179INITIATE ITWHATEVER IT IS
Rolled 5>>24329179Are you feeling lucky punk?
>>24329179Don't fuck up!
Rolled 36>>24329179The best hugs!
Rolled 35>>24329179Time for a fail. I can just feel it.
Rolled 29>>24329179Another good roll?
>>24329179So hey, do we get a combat bonus or what?>>24329197Babeh.
>>24329197Well that was over quickly.
>>24329197Oh you, sorry Blorp, but that bug is gonna get squished.
Rolled 52>>24329197We gotta take his severed arm and beat him with it.Stop hitting yourself!
Rolled 66>>24329179Alright, gents. Let's be heroes.
Rolled 87>>24329229>>24329237Yet again, same rolls back to back. Truly Luck hates this bug.
>>24329254If you were there sooner.
>>24329197My first ever roll in ogrequest.This satisfaction will never fade.
Rolled 49>>24329265And you reversed it.
>>24329197Hmm.33. Not So Good.But Doubles, which are lucky.So. . . Adequate?Hmmm. That might get us Coreweaver, but I REALLY want the arm he summons her with, too.Anyone else want to burn the token? Because I really want to act a necromancied arm to Bawss's hat, so it can tip itself at the lady-bugs.
>>24329091I'd like to think waifu mods are actually seperate alternate worlds that are Vivec's personal fantasyincluding the ZZ cup tits
>>24329308Doubles override everything.Because Ogres.
>>24329308Doubles are ALWAYS lucky. It doesn't matter what range it falls under.
>>24329197>put up STUPID LUCKY TIME? post>go to bathroom>come back>see what the dice have wrought>return to the bathroom>picture related forever
Rolled 39>>24329308Nay! Doubles are already awesome!Save the intervention for when we roll 10-20 or something.
>>24329322I don't, because Vivec was a much classier rapist than that who raped men and women alike and invented blowjobsAll the people who like waifu mods have no taste
>>24329328Well, yes, but it doesn't mean it'll be a time-space rewriting success. Just a success.And I want that arm. Summon her with that arm, and I'll take it from you.
>>24329384No, the range doesn't matter. It'll always be STUPID LUCKY.
>>24329384no, where the doubles lie on the range is irrelevant, they are just awesome.
>>24329384I think you may have misunderstood, and I apologize if I'm wrong on that, but all doubles are folded into their own separate category. So rolling an 11 nets you the same effect as an 99.
>>24329467Yes, I knooooow.Everyone says that. My point is not that doubles aren't good, but that doubles aren't as good as a 1 or 100, which could net us a war win by, you know, ripping all the prophet's arms off and having him bleed to death in one shot, instead of just getting the sword.
I feel pretty bad for Yellow Ant to be honest. In any other place he'd be the hero.>Unites two warring tribes>Starts a righteous rebellion against a rebel who's usurped the rightful rulers>Overcame a cruel goddess who devoured his people and bound her so she can't hurt his race>Fights off an invasion from a race of Outsiders who have made no gestures to negotiate
>>24329528The possibility of diplomancy with a rival like this only exists after they have been sufficiently beaten. Until then, it's crump'n.
>>24329525Pretty sure a 1 or a 100 would stand a better chance of us punching him onto our side. Doubtful on the outright ending the war bit, this is but a small fraction of their empire (I think).
>>24329525Doubles are better than a 1. 100 is super-effective, but likely with a side dish of hilarious results.And you've got a gambling problem if you think we'll throw away any doubles.
>>24329590It would depend, I think, on whether or not the Formichroma's Prophet survives this war.
>>24329587>Possibility of diplomacy>DoubtfulBut what about....>Possibility of OGRE diplomacy>....
>>24329528Wrong. Dey chose not to be da friends of da ogres. Dat makes 'em evil.
>>24329609>Doubles are better than a 1>1 in 100 is not better than 1 in tenwat
Rolled 90>>24329528>I don't, because Vivec was a much classier rapist than that who raped men and women alike and invented blowjobs>All the people who like waifu mods have no tasteGot in the way of a reality warping butt obsessed blue fat thing with a giant mechatronic suit.Bawss Bawss Fistbawss is the dmpc of a 14 year old boy.
>>24329655Lucky stupid < Stupid Lucky
>>24329528I can honestly see a "OK, we had our scrap. We buddies now" sort of diplomacy going down.
>>24329623Eh. There are always new prophets or those that will use the fallen as martyrs to their cause (recruiting tools/justification for increased hostilities). Who knows, killing him might well cause the formichroma to double down on the war effort and go out of their way to antagonize the ogres. So you're right, if Yellow ant survives the war but returns home a broken shell of a prophet, the war might well have run it's course. If we kill him the cycle of violence continues.
Rolled 86>>24329708NON! IL DEVOIR SANG! Sang! Sang! Sang!
Rolled 7>>24329761Has anyone archived this thread yet?(Sorry, but I don't wanna see it go without being done)
>>24329179>>24329197>[X][DISARM]>[X][CATCH-TAKE]>33 - STUPID LUCKY"The dance begins anew!"The many-eyed, mandibled sword screams through the air as it arcs right toward Boss Bawss's head, causing the larger ogre's eyes to widen. Perhaps the Yellow Ant expected Boss Bawss to catch the blow on his mech's arm, and the duel would go on from there; maybe the Yellow Ant was channeling magic to make the demon sword sprout a forest of sharp-edged metal legs to impale the ogre on.What he DIDN'T expect was for Boss Bawss Fistboss to /raise his fleshy arm and let the sword cut into it/. For one timeless moment, both combatants hand in the air, the Yellow Ant's sword 'buried' in Boss Bawss's arm as deep as a papercut. Frowning in confusion, the prophet exerts pressure, but it's no use- it's almost as if Coreweaver is lodged in stone.The Yellow Ant's eyes suddenly blaze furiously as he comes to a belated realization. "Coreweaver, you-!""NOPE," Boss Bawss rumbles, punching the Formichroma the face with his mech's fist.There's a frenzied moment as the Yellow Ant is bowled head over heels, a streak of ichor raining onto the ground behind him; the Ogretek Armor executes a ten-point landing, clutching the prophet's dismembered segmented arm in a large articulated fist.... and Boss Bawss Fistboss, holding a suddenly-sanguine demon sword, finds himself in the midst of the Formichroma army, which has just barely managed to rally itself back together and is staring at the larger ogre with fearful eyes.[ ] [AGGRESS] Do as much damage as you can to the Formichroma army![ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet![ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune![ ] [RETREAT] You got Coreweaver back, now go back and make sure your boys are okay![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>PRESS ALL BUTTONS>100>Doubles>in a giant robot>annihilate an entire army at onceFuck yes. There's only one kind of music appropriate here.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAi3x5AKM58
Rolled 52>>24330006[x] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!
>>24330006[X] [PRESS ALL THE BUTTONS AGAIN]-[X] [WHILE CHASING AFTER THAT YELLOW BASTARD]
>>24330006>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!Chase that fucker down
Rolled 41>>24330006[X] Intimidate and chase the yellow menace!
>>24330006>IntimidateCalm yo' tits everybody. Do we REALLY need to kill each other?
>>24330006[X] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!It ain't over until Blorp can't deal with the rolls anymore!
Rolled 98>>24330006Roight now I's the prophet ya silly buggers.Apologize ta Queenie for wreckin her home.
Rolled 97>>24330006Mutler! Bruler! Tuer!Chase down the prophet and beat him to death with his own arm. When he's dead, Boss can mount him above the ogretek armour and go about gutting the Formichroma.
>>24330006>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!We krumped their boss.I think that makes us the new boss, logically speaking.
>>24330006>[X] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!Their prophet is cast aside in one moment, his symbolic weapon taken from him unceremoniously. All this before the fight has even started! They'd better think long and hard if they want to enter a fight they cannot possibly win.
>>24330080That's politics for you.
>>24330006>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!"the rest o yall stay out of this if yalls dont want to get krumped"
>>24330059>[X] [INTIMIDATE]>[X] [CHASE]I ain't done with ya yet Yellow Ant!
Rolled 71>>24330006>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Make 'em dance to your tune!>[ ] [WRITE-IN]Talk to Coreweaver as you go KRUMP'N.>So, how do I gets ya outta this thing?
>>24330006[ ] [WRITE-IN]Say hi to Coreweaver.
>>24330006>[x] [WRITE-IN]We got Coreweaver back. See if she wants to come out to play.>[x] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!If we can beat sum sense in deh bug, we can end this whole thing. Our Boyz 'ill be safe. Our Friends 'ill be safe. If he stops lookin' for trouble and ends the fightin', even /his/ boyz 'ill be safe!
>>24330006>[ ] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet!>[ ] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet. Use them to beat the prophet to death.
Rolled 100>>24330006Bring Coreweaver out.Sit the Yellow Ant down.Have them both talk it out while Bawss mediates.We gotta stick to our strengths and that strength is bone headed stubborness for making friends.
>>24330143Well, I thought our strength was smashing, but apparently the dice disagree. Diplomancy it is.
>>24330143Well, I guess we know what we're doing.
>>24330143This man gets what he wants everybody!
Rolled 94>>24330143Hahahahah oh man...
>>24330143The Goddess of Luck had spoken.You heard the Lady Blorp.
>>24330143Lady luck has spoken. When we catch him, this is what we do.We are going to unite every race on this whole bloody continent.
>>24330143B-But I didn't even call for a roll yetdid... did the roll call for me
Rolled 98>>24330143The luck singularity is going to split worlds at this point. Good lord.
Rolled 85>>24330225The roll knows where you live.
Rolled 48>>24330225The Dice Gods have spoken Blorp. I'm sorry, but no one chooses their destiny. When the call comes, you must accept.
Do not ask for who the die tolls... It tolls for thee.
>>24330143Lady luck has chosen the path before us.>>24330225The lady made her vote and her roll. Your move Blorp.
>>24330225We have no choice but to accept the path laid out before us.
>>24330225don't fight it.
Rolled 43>>24330225The Roll can see your house from here.
>>24330225Sorry Blorp, you already lost.
>>24330225Shhh - shhh - shhh, don't fight it. Its okayGo gracefully. Also, can we change this picture into 'Local Roll ruins everything'?
>>24330143Okay, diceroller. But you'd better not fuck us when it comes time to actually roll for this.
Rolled 27>>24330225I'm sorry for breaking your dwindling sanity more.
>>24330312There was still some hope before now, but you just had to say that.
Rolled 38HEY.HEY BLORP.What happens if call for a roll and we do 1, 11, 22, 33, 44, 55, 66, 77, 88, 99, 100? In order? What happens? You can't say 'brain hemorrhage'.
>>24330427We win. Ogre singularity.
>>24330427>>24330435When that happens, the universe is ogre.
>>24330450Maybe if that happens, we become the God of Ogres and we continue as a God trying to gain power and influence?
>>24330427>>24330435>>24330450Everything was ogre and nothing hurt
>>24330450I love how when is said here, not if
>>24330450It was always ogre.
>>24330450Ogre Quest is love, Ogre Quest is life
Rolled 67>>24330143Thus the conclusion that you do not need UN peacekeepers or UN blue helmets. You get UN Plue Peace!Ogres.They make you be Peaceful weather you want it or not. And there is nothing you can do about it. Their really good at smashing things and even better at breaking your mind and destiny with words.
Rolled 61>>24330524I love the fact we've diplomanced our way out of practically every major conflict excluding one.Fucking Ogres man.
>>24330524>turning people into weather.>weather can be peaceful.Only in Ogre Quest
And now the formichroma have learned the error of their ways, failing to dimplomance with the ogres. There's really no other option that doesn't end in tears. A lot of tears.
>>24330656You ever go out on a nice spring day with a slight breeze? Shit is peaceful as fuck, man.
>>24330643I've come to the conclusion that ogres never make enemies, just friends.Sometimes it's just a real roundabout path to friendship.
Rolled 22>>24330730Man, I'm still waiting for the update to turn down the brightness during the day. The current settings aren't even editable in the .ini file.
>>24330744Except for that dragon bone lich think we fought. She was an asshole.
>>24330006>[X] [INTIMIDATE] You just ripped the arm off their prophet!>[X] [CHASE] Your business with the Yellow Ant ain't over yet![X] [???] ... BECAUSE IT'S TIME TO DIPLOMATICIZE THE FUCK OUT OF HIMFor a few quiet moments, no one on either side moves, the silence broken only by the distant sound of Scaratone ranks smashing into the somewhat-reduced Formichroma lines. Boss Bawss Fistboss turns to look curiously at each Formichroma in turn, while the admittedly brave ant-like soldiers stand their ground, not sure what they can do against this- this THING.Eventually, one of the war-leaders stands to the fore, clearly building up its courage and looking like it's about to rally the troops-"So."The mere SOUND of Boss Bawss's voice is enough to break the Formichroma's resolve. But the ogre continues, raising the Yellow Ant's dismembered arm."I'm gonna give him a hand now. If you interfere, there is no word for how 'ard I am gonna krump you."Boss Bawss pauses."... okay, there is a word, an' dat word is 'SUPER-krump,' but you know wot I mean. So do we got a deal, or do we got a deal?"Without waiting for an answer, the larger ogre turns and marches his mech in the direction of the Yellow Ant, the ranks of Formichroma parting to make way for him. Boss Bawss Fistboss only makes it a few steps before he has to block the Yellow Ant's shield-first charge with the Ogretek Armor's arms, the prophet's shield shrieking as metal skids against metal."Brute-beast!" the Yellow Ant snarls, his eyes blazing. "This is not how you conduct a war, you, you, /double heathen/-"He's interrupted as Boss Bawss gently grabs the Yellow Ant's head and holds him down in a sitting position, only letting go when the Formichroma sullenly stops struggling. Then, without a word, the larger ogre sticks Coreweaver blade-first into the ground, right across from the Yellow Ant.(Cont.)
>>24330794"What is this, brute-beast?" the Yellow Ant chitters suspiciously, clutching the stump of its arm. "An execution? How DARE you consider the battle won when-""Nope," Boss Bawss rumbles, ignoring the Yellow Ant's sudden tensing-up as it anticipates another arm-ripping punch. "We're gonna have a chat."There's a moment of baffled silence."But- but- this is insane! We're in the middle of a BATTLE!" the Formichroma Prophet all but wails, pointing his remaining arm at the ongoing skirmish. "What do you even want me to-""Nah, not to me. To da lady," Boss Bawss interrupts."The- what?"In response, Boss Bawss Fistboss tilts his head at the demon sword stuck in the ground, which seems to be quivering happily at being called a lady. "Coreweaver. We had a nice long chat right before ya came, you know," he continues, completely conversationally. "An' she ain't happy with da way you're running things.""What? But she is a horrible /god of fear/ that preyed on my- no, wait, how did you even TALK to her!?" The Yellow Ant shrieks, his eyes flicking back and forth as he tries desperately to keep up with the conversation."She's a demon spider, an' she's kinda lonely," Boss Bawss rumbles with all the implacability of an ongoing avalanche. "Ever since ya stopped feedin' her your sacrifices like you used to, an' started using her as a tool of fightin' instead of takin' to da temple-"(Cont.)
>>24330772But we sold her bones. That's what friends do, right?
>>24330799"Those days are over," the Yellow Ant chitters firmly. There's a ring of fascinated soldiers watching the conversation now, their heads tilting back and forth as they keep pace with whoever's talking. Around them, more soldiers continue pouring past, running to reinforce their line against the Scaratones. "We keep truck with no capricious gods! We rely on our own strength, now, and our own prophecies! We are not going back to the dark ages of meaningless sacrifices to fill her- her endless pit of a stomach!!"Boss Bawss frowns. "Dat's not nice to talk 'bout a lady's weight like dat-""WHY DO YOU CALL IT A LADY!?" the Yellow Ant screams, pulling at his antennae in frustrated confusion.Boss Bawss pauses. Looks like this's a little more complicated than he thought it would be.[ ] [WRITE-IN!] How SHOULD Boss Bawss diplomance this situation?[ ] [WRITE-IN!] Or should he abandon this line of diplomancing?[ ] [WRITE-IN!] Come to think of it, Coreweaver ain't exactly talkative as a sword, is she?
>>24330794>double heathenOh baby.
>>24330815Get Coreweaver to speak up and ask her if she REALLY needs sacrifices.
Rolled 50>>24330815>>24330799>>24330794I'm fucking DIEING.
>>24330815Release the Coreweaver!
>>24330815[X] [WRITE-IN!] Come to think of it, Coreweaver ain't exactly talkative as a sword, is she?Oh yes, time to fix that... Wouldn't you say, gentleogres?After all, a one sided conversation is rather rude if the lady cannot speak.
>>24330815"Well, ya see..."Give a speech about demons being people too. If possible, get some elves there to hear it as well, just so they can have their heads explode at the same time.Then propose a compromise. Maybe, no more sacrifices, but still, you know, check in every so often, beg for mercy, all the other stuff.
>>24330815Calmly what for him to continue talking, before turning to CoreWeaver for her opinion. Make sure she can give it, but tell her that she isn't to eat or attack anyone, and if she does, it'll end badly for everyone. Then, get them to talk about their feelings, eventually reconciling them, before talking to the crowd of soldiers and giving an emotional message about how god and being are suppose to be a team. End with a hit song from your back up band.Essentially, [spoiler[ become a mixture of DOctor phil and Jerry Springer [/spoiler]
>>24330815[X] [WRITE-IN!] How SHOULD Boss Bawss diplomance this situation?"Cause she's a lady. It's paw-light. Now, 'ere's da t'ing. You don't wants to sacriofice people ta feeds her. And that's okay. But that don't mean you can sacrifice others ta feed the bottomless pit of your pride an' need for revenge, see? Krumpin' jus' leads ta more krumpin'. Instead yous gots ta krump 'em good, then make 'em sit down, an' talk things over. Because maybe yous don't want to be slaves to fear. And maybe queenie over there doesn't want to be slaves to your needs an' empire an'' revenge an' callin' people heatens an' stuff. So hows about we all sit down peace-full-Lee-like and talk about how we might maybe get along together without krumpin' each other or else I'll have ta KRUMP YOU GOOD AND PERMANENT."
>>24330815>[x] [WRITE-IN!] Come to think of it, Coreweaver ain't exactly talkative as a sword, is she?Yep. If she can come out and talk things over in person, all this can be sorted out.Nothing can go wrong with this plan.
>>24330815Well, first we should ask about the nature of this sacrifice, then see if we can come to some sort of arrangement.Also, he mentioned something about out bug buddies doing bad shit to them years ago.So, lets starts with him listing the Forminchroma grievances.
>>24330921This. Let the guy tell us WHY they're so angry at the Scaratones.
>>24330815[X] DIPLOMANCEMaybe they don't have to give her sacrifices and worship her like before, but they should at least respect her as a powerful being and a lady. This sword business is unbecoming.Speaking of which...[X] UNSEAL COREWEAVERMaybe talking face to face would help you understand eachother.
I'm still cracking up at the fact we literally barreled right behind enemy lines just to have a casual, friendly chat with their general.
>>24330906There are three voices that matter here: ours, the Formichroma, and Coreweaver. This sounds perfect, for our side of the argument. For the Formichroma,>>24330921This. And for Coreweaver, wake her up, and>>24330836This.
Rolled 46>>24330815release coreweaver"Then start over, as friends"
>>24330999Triples for truth.
>>24330815>[X] [WRITE-IN!] Come to think of it, Coreweaver ain't exactly talkative as a sword, is she?That's true, but... Duh, of course! Her sword has lot of EYES, but no MOUTH. Can't believe we didn't spot that. Well! The answer's obvious: she just needs to be one of them jaggy swords with lots of TEETH!
>>24330815>>24330999I'll second his thirding
>>24331097I'm thirding his second.
>>24331129I'm fourth him by seconding to your thirding.
>>24330999Clearly the post count wanted to remind me that I had forgotten to trip, so it had to trip for me.Fixing that.
>>24330999>>24331097>>24331129>>24331143>>24331143>33>The same number that put us in this situation>4 Times>In the same place each time.
>>24331255Erm. Someone correct me if I'm wrong, but I think that's just how the numbering system works.
>>24331299You have no sense of wonderment.
>>24331255We didn't make more than thousand posts in the last hour>This is important
>>24331299That's exactly how the post numbering system works. We're going to be seeing those 33's for a while.>>24331319There's enough actually crazy luck that goes on in these threads.
>>24331320No, we didn't make more than ten thousand posts in the last hour.Clearly this needs to be rectified.
>>24331346>>24331403I guess it's time to go into OGREDRIVE.
>>24331471you fool, you're already Ogre.
>>24331915We're into autosage bro.
>>24331937I just want Blorp to wrap it up at least.
>>24331991Well, a notice that he's done for now would be nice.
>>24331991Yes yes. I'm sure he's working on the post. Give him some time.>>24332012He tends to do that. Unless someone killed him.
>>24331991>>24332012>>24332023Given how awesome the posts typically are, they're worth the wait.
>>24330815>>24330999>>24330906>>24330921>>24330836Boss Bawss gathers his thought in his own implacably plodding ogre-like way. And then he nods, as if the Formichroma Prophet has just hit upon a really good point."Well, ya see, I call her a lady 'cause she IS a lady- but wot's REALLY at stake here is all dis talk of sacrificing things.""Exactly!" the Yellow Ant snaps, bristling. "We are NOT going back to hurling perfectly good soldiers into the maw as sacrifices-""But you burnt down your own perfectly good boys back in Daphnaia when you did dat whole possession thing, right?" Boss Bawss cuts in.THAT stops the prophet short. "... an unavoidable side-effect of the direct control process," the Yellow Ant mutters, the edge taken off his Righteous Anger."An' you're sacrificing your boys an' everyone fightin' you for revenge-""To right past wrongs, brute-beast," the Formichroma Prophet hisses dangerously, his Righteous Anger back in full force. "You know not of what you speak!"(cont.)
>>24332130Boss Bawss holds his hands up soothingly, making a mental note to come and probe THAT sore spot a little later. And perhaps with more tact. "Look, wot you were sayin' earlier was dat you wanna krump all da Scaratones, right? 'Til there are no more Scaratones left?""Of course," the insectoid being chitters, more in control of himself now. In fact, he seems almost serene, sitting with four legs folded under him and his remaining arm resting on his lap. "Justice demands such a result.""Dat ain't happenin'," Boss Bawss growls, raising his voice over the Yellow Ant's protests. "Krumpin' just leads to more krumpin'! It only ends when ya krump da other side, an' then ya sit 'em down AND TALK. THINGS. OVER." Each word is almost its own thunderclap. "An' dat's why I came 'ere to talk," Boss Bawss continues into the silence, his voice back to its usual deceptively simple tone. "You an' Queenie back there, I'm sure we can all get to an agreement. Got it?"The Yellow Ant stares for a long, long moment. And then he runs his hand along an antennae, deep in thought. "... let me get this straight, brute-beast. You ran through the ENTIRETY of my army, risking life and limb and most of reality... just to have a casual, friendly chat with the enemy leader who wants nothing more than to cleanly cut your head off at the neck, cut off the Scaratone Queen's head off at the neck, and purge the usurpers from these lands."Boss Bawss scratches his head, scrunching up his face. "... yah?"(Cont.)
>>24332142If the Yellow Ant had two hands, he would be cradling his face in them right now. "... you are truly the most terrifying fool in the world.""-- oh, one more thing." Boss Bawss picks up Coreweaver, causing the Yellow Ant to tense up again. "'Ere, do you really need a buncha sacrifices to be happy?" The ogre tilts his head, listening to an inaudible voice. "... no? You only took 'em 'cause they were for free, an' they were crunchy?"After a few more moments of listening, Boss Bawss nods and sticks the demon sword back in the ground, turning back to the Yellow Ant. "Yah, she says she don't need sacrifices to be real happy. I'm sure we can work somethin' out without ya treatin' da lady like a big ol' hittin' stick."The Yellow Ant stares once more. "... you were talking to her," he mutters. "How were you talking to her? You held the sword for /one minute/ and you can talk to her. I have been using Coreweaver for years, and I can barely- /how/??" he groans, tugging at his antennae in distress.Boss Bawss shrugs. "... I got a way with talkin'?" he hazards."Fine! Fine, we'll talk," the Yellow Ant groans, throwing up his hand into the air. "Only because you are so incredibly /crazy/ that you /managed/ something like this in the /first/ place, brute-beast-heathen-madman!!"Boss Bawss breathes a sigh of relief. Alright, that's part one done. Now he'll just go and talk to Queen Kilkkarak and the others, and they'll figure out where to go from here-(Cont.)
>>24332150Oh I don't like the look of that interruption.
>>24332150And then the cavern is rocked from end to end as a TITANIC explosion knocks the rearguard of the Formichroma army into the air, heralding the arrival of some kind of terrifying drill machine."HA! HA! HA!" a dwarven voice cackles out of a hidden speaker. A compartment on the side of the machine opens up, revealing a familiarly bearded face and more lit explosives than can be counted on one hand. "THE CALVARY HAS WELL AND BLOODY ARRIVED, YOU FILTHY LAYABOUTS!" Lockstock the miner-slash-dwarven-prince roars, at least five sticks of dynamite fizzing away in his beard, the fires of LIQUID COURAGE burning in his eyes.... right. Right, the dwarves were assigned to pull off damaging and unforeseen hit-and-run attacks on the flanks of the Formichroma army, weren't they.As one, the Formichroma turn to glare at the ogre sitting in their midst, the Yellow Ant's glare hot enough to burn a hole right through Boss Bawss Fistboss. The larger ogre scratches his head uneasily."... well, shit."(To Be Continued...)
>>24332181Welp i guess we planned for battle a bit too good. Oh well.
>>24332089>>24332181Worth it. So very very worth it.
>>24332181So I guess that's where we're ending, huh?We better work on getting Lockstock. If we shout for him while in the midst of the Formichroma army, he might think we've been surrounded by enemies and come to help us.
So now the real battle is getting all of our allies to not kill our new allies. Ogre Quest, everyone.
>>24332229So we are effectively becoming the early Roman Republic?
>>24332181...and we are going to have to excuse ourselves for a moment to talk to the dwarf.
>>24332181Okay, I think that's a- a place to end the thread for the night, because this is like the second time this quest has, due to your choices and rolls, gone in a direction I was truly and absolutely not prepared for. In fact, it hurtled off the rails and took off into the sky, rainbows and puppies exploding out of its ass as it launched straight into outer space, plowing through Mars as it went and spread the ogre word to distant galaxies.Never change, /tg/. Never change.In any case, I apologize for ending on a cliffhanger; the next thread will be NEXT THURSDAY, the 25th, at 8 pm (or sometime thereabouts) EST!And I've even got this Twitter thing here (https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest) where I'll give a heads-up if I have to bow out, etc. Again, thanks for participating, and I hope you enjoyed this thread!I'll be up a bit longer, so I guess I'll open up an impromptu Q&A, so if you've got any questions, fire away!
>>24332263How's the backlog going? Ha.
>>24332263Alright Faggots, head on over to the archive and vote if you want.
>>24332263What was the first major time?
Blorp, thank you for making our insanity enjoyable
>>24332263>>24332283Heheheh.Anyway, am I right in thinking that the sword is the supposed artifact (mentioned in the opening) used to bind Coreweaver?
Thanks for a great thread (as usual) Blorp!
>>24332283>BACKLOOOOOOOOGHa................. ha.........................................haWELL ANYWAY, I have like- one and 1/16 of the ministory requests done, actually. I-I should really get cracking on those sometime.>>24332301>The first big derailWell, remember Ryagmos, the big angry undead bone drake in Thread 3? I'd intended her to be a possible ally, being a native to the desert and old and (probably) wise and all.And then came the first bad roll when it came to encountering her, which meant that I ended up tweaking her personality to... you know. Include the lovely hobby of collecting bones by ripping them out of living creatures.And then there was the tech roll that turned Ogir Place into a flying oasis. And the turning of Scaratones into allies.... actually, come to think of it, quite literally all of Thread 3 was one big major derail.>>24332308... yes and no! Mostly no. But a little yes.
>>24332392>dat backlogTake your time man.And thanks for running this quest. Always a blast.
>>24332392what do you think about some of the retarded decisions that we've made so far? And what do think about hats?
>>24332392Your suffering will be transmuted into our pleasure, Blorp.But yeah, thanks for everything.Also, what were the requests, guys? I've already forgotten them myself.
>>24332392Blorp, you have any ideas on improving our civ's culture you've been wishing to implement? Like with the justice system?'Cause after this war, we're gonna need to experience a Renaissance era. The rise of fine culture!>Why yes, sir, this is my Sunday morning hat. Thank you for noticing.
>>24332497>Why yes, sir, this is my Sunday morning hat. Thank you for noticing.those are some fancy fucking ogres...
>>24332392>Well, remember Ryagmos, the big angry undead bone drake in Thread 3? I'd intended her to be a possible ally, being a native to the desert and old and (probably) wise and all.>And then came the first bad roll when it came to encountering her, which meant that I ended up tweaking her personality to... you know. Include the lovely hobby of collecting bones by ripping them out of living creatures.Go figure; I'd never have guessed that. Kudos to you for, ahem, rolling with it, even when you had other plans. That's what makes this quest so amazing.I'd have guessed something less dice-y and more unexpected-mass-response-y, like the rampant diplomancing.
Thank YOU guys for stickin' with this! If not for the crazy amazing shit that you guys keep pulling, I don't think this quest would have gotten nearly as far as it did.>>24332461Define 'retarded.' I... I'm not sure that word has any meaning anymore, not since it usually comes down to>ridiculous choice is the majority>ridiculous rolls completely back up the ridiculous choice>i have to figure out a way to make it work>JUST ANOTHER DAY IN OGRES... also, hats are a thing I need to come back to, since it was a pretty big part of ogre culture back in the day. (And then it's gradually shifted over to BEFRIENDING EVERYTHING, so). I'm not sure what else I can do with hats at this point in time!>>24332464... yeah, about that, I'm somehow having trouble finding the post(s) that had the requests in them. I remember posting a list of them in one of the older threads, and I SEEM to recall slapping up an Idolmaster image on the post, but...>>24332497I've been meaning to go back to the Justice system. And also Economy. I'm starting to worry that the Civ part of the quest is fading a bit, especially with all the characters that keep popping up (and in the face of a lot of these major events).Once the Formichroma arc(?) is done, though, I'll try to devote some time to building up the Civ again (and making what we've done with the Civ aspect more important).also jesus christ ogre fine culture is not a phrase i ever thought i would be writing any time soon
>>24332532Yeah, between EVO Quest and this quest, I've... come to accept the fact on a /tg/ quest, anything goes, so I've gotten used to (and really depend on) just rolling with things.Or maybe that's just the way I run things. Before EVO Quest, I actually completely and utterly failed to get a quest off the ground here, 'cause everyone scored a max roll and I didn't roll with the results well enough to keep people interested. Guess that pretty much solidified how I run quests nowadays. >I'd have guessed something less dice-y and more unexpected-mass-response-y, like the rampant diplomancing.Actually, that's USUALLY easier to roll with, since you guys tend to back up your rampant diplomancing decisions with some pretty reasonable outlines for how to proceed. This was actually the first time it threw me off my game, because we COMPLETELY CONVERTED an all-out battle/war scenario into BLAST THROUGH THE ARMY TO TALK THE FUCK OUTTA THE ENEMY LEADER, and I wasn't sure how to properly transition out of it, especially not this late in the thread.
>>24332464>>24332760http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/23015814/#p23020939Think that's it.
>>24332861That and "Scaratones reaction to Ogir Place" fromhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/21508068/#p21512732
>>24332861>>24332870THERE we go- for some reason, I thought that happened way back in November or something. Thanks for digging it up!
>>24332263Blorp, exactly how bad off are our elves? I mean, on a scale of "needs a drink" to "the ogres make perfect sense"?I'm slightly worried that our friendship mixed with OGRE is doing more harm then good.Can our allies retain their sanity in the face of, well, ogre?
>>24332982What is sanity, really? If you persist in believing the world works a certain way contrary to reality and OGRES, are you sure you're the sane one?
>>24332982You know I get feeling that Celicia has hit the point where she just goes with the flow of it all. I mean look back on the spider-demon meeting. Plus, Blorp don't ruin this for me, I see Celicia having a huge shit eating grin when Boss went into rage mode.If she can deal with it. The rest can in time.
>>24333041Well, Celicia was a hardened soldier, left on a suicide mission when it was decided their plan was not going to work.I'm not entirely sure she really cared what happens anymore BEFORE we met her.
>>24332982I wouldn't worry too much about the elves. Remember, they're stupidly adaptable because of their magically sensitive nature (which is why you have like a gazillion almost-redundant variety of elf, ranging from Wood Elves to Dark Elves/Drowthings to High Elves to those unfortunate enough to have become the Festive Elves up near the North Pole- too weak to prevent themselves from being enslaved into toy sweatshops).... but yeah, on that scale, I'd say the majority of the first elves (those who were originally stationed with Celicia at Daphnaia) are around "Ha Ha Ha Sense Make Ogres Drink Needs Yes Perfect Okay Where's My Fucking Alcohol Please Yes Good."
>>24333082Huh.Better then I'd feared.We should probably start getting the Elves some leave time taking shifts as ambassadors to the Scaratones. You know, to let them seep into some sort of sensical place where reality isn't being constantly bucked.Or invest in our booze technology. Either one, really.
>>24333133>Or invest in our booze technology. Either one, really.Best idea.
>>24333144Well, I dunno.We could always roll a 100 on it."But da wine needs to age to peak in flavor!""GIMME THE BOOZE, OGRE!"
>>24333082>>24333133>>24333144>>24333166Clearly we need to poke at one of the Aquifer Pebbles and ogre it into a Drunkifer Pebble.
>>24333188Okay, next turn we need to write in: Study Magic: Boozemancy.
>>24333188>>24333266... I dread how the dwarves would feel about either of those solutions. On one hand, unlimited booze is really fucking sweet, but when you think about how important the booze industry is in dwarven politics and the fact that their craftsdwarves could be out of a job...
>>24333082What do you think about the mess that is Gubbins playing with time? What about the other characters in the quest so far, like the Earth/Earthquake god guy and Squiggles the BeastMaster? Are they gonna come back in?Are we ever gonna send Ogre Place up against something of similar size in a wonderful/horrible mixture of EVA, Gurren Lagann, Megas XLR, transformers, etc?Has it all become a swirling blur of Ogres, whenever you even think about this Civ Quest?
>>24333266I just had a terrible idea. Time Magic + Boozemancy = Counterwise wine."Ugh, I have such a hangover. And it's strange, I didn't even drink last night.""Hey elfys! I made dis here special wine wit' me time magics! Dat way it's ready ta drink right away, cause it ferments after ya done drinkin' it! Whose wanna trys it?""Somehow I think these two things are related."
>>24333295>Gubbins and TimeA mild sense of impending doom, given what could happen when, in any given quest, you give /tg/ even limited access to time abuse shenanigans.>Demigodman and SquigglesThe best answer I can give is "if need be."I intended Ruoumoko to be an offshoot of Gubbins' skillset- like if/when the quest swaps to his POV for an event, [X] Summon Ruoumoko would be a choice- so he'll be around in a minor support capacity.Squiggles was also an NPC intended to be on the same level as Gubbins, except... well, Gubbins kind of became THE EVERYTHING MAGIC guy, and so far, that tends to be a lot more useful than beast-whispering. I'm not sure how useful he'll be in the future, so we'll definitely see.>Neon Genesis Tengen Toppa Ogir Place Transformers XLRThat's the intention, anyway! It's too delightfully terrifying to let it sit in the back and do nothing.>Has it all become a swirling blur of Ogres, whenever you even think about this Civ Quest?DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASK
>>24333365Well, if you wanna make Squiggles useful, you could take the horrific leap into making him recognizing that every race, apart from Dwarves, are classified as 'Beast Races'. Take from that what you will. Anyway, more questions. Are are you going to flesh out the Patchwings and skelly's anytime soon?Is Ogre Place going to end up like some form of Metroplex, containing an entire city of people within it? Are you planing on taking anymore elements from DotA, or maybe even LoL, in regards to adding more to the story?Are you going to include more ditzy Goddess of Luck/God of Fate outtakes? >Has it all become a swirling blur of Ogres, whenever you even think about this Civ Quest?>DO YOU EVEN HAVE TO ASKWould a nice hat make it all better?
>>24333453>Tames everyoneBasically, he'll civilize wild people and make everything really posh?
>>24333482I think he'll be using fancy hats to do so
>>24333453>Well, if you wanna make Squiggles useful, you could take the horrific leap into making him recognizing that every race, apart from Dwarves, are classified as 'Beast Races'. Take from that what you will.Yeah, as it stands if a species has the slightest hint of sentient intelligence or communication, we'll diplomance it instead. Squiggles shines with mole-rats or similar seemingly undiplomanceable things, and when he does have an opportunity like that, it's a sight to behold.
>>24333525He could become some sort of trainer. Or instructor. Maybe make units into "professionals"? Just spouting some ideas here.
>>24333547We still have the Patchwings to interact with more extensively, and with their fairly rudimentary (yet adorable) communication style (ogres? ogres!), perhaps Squiggles would be helpful to have along. Perhaps the Patchwings have some long-standing problems they've come to accept that he could help solve, or perhaps we just need an interpreter that realizes they're really some of the most eloquent beings alive in their native language.
>>24333525Aye, I wish actually saw more of him, but he really gets overshadowed by Gubbins and the Boss. To be honest, I think the problem lies with the fact that we're in the middle of the desert, so he is kind of limited in what he can tame. Also, Blorp, is Squiggles like Batrider?
>>24333453True, there SHOULD be more ridiculous animals in a ridiculous fantasy world like this. Depending on where the story goes, he'll definitely get a chance to shine in places with MANY more beasts.>Patchwings and SkelliesAgain, it depends! We haven't spent a whole lot of time with the Patchwings lately, and as for the Skellies, well, the Ziggurat they came from DID contain some info on them.>Metroplex Ogir Place... actually, something I keep forgetting to sneak into Start-Of-Turn Status Updates is the fact that no one really notices that Ogir Place has, completely of its own volition, steadily grown larger to accommodate the truly staggering number of beings living in it. Make of that what you will.>DOTA/LoLNot really! I've mostly set the world as a psychotic hodgepodge of fantasy tropes (for lack of a better word), and the only real inspiration I drew from DOTA (and/or Warcraft II/III) was how the ogres look, act, and sound. In terms of lore, DOTA and LoL are mostly their own beasts (DOTA with its tentative Radiant/Dire mystical energy meteorites thing, and LoL with its semi-fourth-wall summoner thing).>Goddess of Luck/God of FateNah. Like I wrote before I posted that segment, that's more a what-if sort of thing. If the gods come to the fore, the ogres' accomplishments and stupid luck fade to the back, and I want the focus to remain on the ogres as much as possible.>hatyes>>24333572>Squiggles Batrider?If I had to hazard a guess, he's more like the bastard of Pokemon Rangers, SMT protagonists, and Dragon Quest Monsters... monster masters.
>>24333638>... actually, something I keep forgetting to sneak into Start-Of-Turn Status Updates is the fact that no one really notices that Ogir Place has, completely of its own volition, steadily grown larger to accommodate the truly staggering number of beings living in it. Make of that what you will.Well, of course. Ogres just kinda pop into existence and join Ogir Place, and dirt just kinda pops into existence and joins Ogir Place.
>>24333638>Metroplex Ogir Place>actually, something I keep forgetting to sneak into Start-Of-Turn Status Updates is the fact that no one really notices that Ogir Place has, completely of its own volition, steadily grown larger to accommodate the truly staggering number of beings living in it. Make of that what you will. OGRE PLACE HEEDS THE CALL OF THE FIRST BOSS >Squiggles Batrider?>If I had to hazard a guess, he's more like the bastard of Pokemon Rangers, SMT protagonists, and Dragon Quest Monsters... monster masters.So he isn't keeping his knees in the breeze? Aww>>24333664>Ogre Place reproducing in a similar style to OgresAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHAlso, Blorp, what ever happened to that Demon at the heart of Ogre Place?
>>24333719As much as Batrider's VA is awesome... sadly, no.>Cuddles the Demon LordOh, he's still there.Watching.Waiting.
>>24333776hmmmmAlso, the Berzerkers? Are they in the battle too or mixed in with the general troops?
Rolled 84>>24333365>>Gubbins and Time>A mild sense of impending doom, given what could happen when, in any given quest, you give /tg/ even limited access to time abuse shenanigans.I seem to remember you ignoring my suggestion to call Ruo and use him in conjunction with the map to dump a small ocean into the tunnels of the Formi/or drop half the continent on them, then use Gubbins to turn time back for everyone ELSE except the Formichroma because OGRES..
>>24333806At this point, they're mixed in with the general troops! I mean, it's not like they kind of slipped my mind for the past two threads or anything, wahaha... ha.....And on that note, im going to have to call it a night. Catch you all later!
>>24333908NightSee you next week, and thanks for the thread.
Well, to be fair, it didn't exactly get a majority vote behind it. (Also woulda required one helluva roll.)
>>24333482I thought that was what Bawss already did.