To the west lies a new world, a world full of possibility and fraught with danger. Priceless treasures of spice, silver, gold, and if rumors are true even elf blood, await men of action to take them. No stranger to risk, god willing, you plan to carve a name for yourself in the new world. You are Sebastian Emanuel Funt, and you will tame this brave new world or die trying. You are a veteran of the Italian wars. You achieved no small fame for >  your unsurpassed swordsmanship>  your prodigious magical abilities>  genius tactical insight>  logistic acumen>  a silver tongue and several inappropriate liaisons with the wives of commanding officers>  your skill with paint and brush (Hard mode)
>>24353939>[X] genius tactical insightTactical genius quest time go?
>>24353939> genius tactical insightWho can resist TACTICAL GENIUS?
>>24353957>>24353974Under your leadership your men smashed the left flank of the Milanese army, ending the siege of Naples. After the wars resolution you find yourself in the possession of a small fortune. Discontent to retire on only a small fortune you decide to organize an expedition to the new world. Who do you approach to back your voyage?>  France (Human Catholic Bonus: Luis the XII is easily impressed)>  England (Human Protestant, tolerant of Necromancy and the Undead Bonus: Cheaper Ships)>  Spain (Human and Half Orc Catholic Bonus: Free Catholic Missionaries)>  Portugal (Half Orc Catholic Bonus: Expert Crew)>  Hanseatic League (Dwarves Protestant Bonus: Prototype Steamship)>  Oricish Sultan (Orcs Muhamadian ((Hard mode)))>I apologize for the lack of sandbox. There should be less set choices when you get to the free world.
>>24354095>[X] Portugal (Half Orc Catholic Bonus: Expert Crew)Why is it that when I read the notes for England, my mind immediately jumped to Hellsing?
>>24354129It's probably because Henry the VIII consumes the blood of the innocent to stay young.
>>24354095no elves? if so>  Portugal (Half Orc Catholic Bonus: Expert Crew)
>>24354095>[X] Orcish SultanYES!
>>24354095>>  Portugal (Half Orc Catholic Bonus: Expert Crew)
>>24354168>Orc Hero vs. 72 Orc Warrior Maidens.Allah never said it would be easy.
Your keen tactical mind deduces that your best chance for success lay in the expert hands of Portuguse explorers. You travel to Lisbon where you have made arrangements to speak with King Manuel of Portugal. How do you pitch your expedition?What sort of return do you promise the king?> Two fold> Five fold> Ten fold> ONE HUNDRED FOLD!!!!!1!!!!>>24354166Shit. I new I forgot to put something in the OP.This setting is one I'm going to use to run a RL game. I'm volunteering you guys to help me flesh it out. One of the premises of the game is that Elves have been hunted to near extinction, after a wizard discovered that other races can use their blood to extend their own lives. There are rumors of entire cities of elves in the new world, a veritable fountain of youth for those willing and able to take it.
>>24354258so elves are a treasure, kinda like the aztecs gold? I like
>>24354258>[X] ONE HUNDRED FOLD!!!!!1!!!!In the new world, there are both elves AND gold galore, sire! Seize it now, and the world will bow to us, milord.
>>24354258>[X] Five to ten foldLet's be a little realistic here. Make the king think we're pretty confident, but not overconfident. Or bullshitting out of our ass.
>>24354275The only god elf is a nubile slave elf. >>24354291>>24354317Any other votes? If I can vote I'll pick whatever one is worse for our poor protagonist. Also role a d20
Rolled 12>>24354258> Five foldnot unreasonable but profitable
Rolled 19>>24354371>roll a d20One roll per person, or one roll, period?
>>24354371> five to tenfold
>>24354371>The only god elf is a nubile slave elf. You know, I'm kind of expecting us to treat every lass decently due to that statement alone.
>>24354426so that we can suck her blood when she is least expecting it?
Rolled 18>>24354426It's not rape if it's an elfRolling for hundredfold
>>24354440>>24354441Don't even try to pretend you guys aren't big softie.
>>24354451we totally going to find us some delicious brown elf treasure, then keep her in our cabin for when we want to gently rub her ears
>>24354426>The only god elf is a nubile slave elf.this is exactly why we should have went with the Orc Muslims
>>24354499Implying Jewish Gnomes wouldn't have been the best for that task
I LIKE THE LOOK OF THIS
>>24354537Reminds me of Arcanum a bit.
The King strokes his beard thoughtfully as you present your proposal. He listens intently until you finish. There's a small pregnant silence as he contemplates the venture.You are clearly a very reasonable man. I will provide you with three ships, three crews, and 10,000 gold. When you return my ships to me, and 50,000 in treasure, all other proceeds of the journey you are welcome to keep. In less then a week two caravels and a carrack await you in the port of Lisbon. Now it's up to you to gather men and supplies for your voyage. The King has graciously provided an experienced navigator and cartographer for your crew. With your own personal fortune, you have 13,000 to outfit your expedition.Costs:Unit of Water- 10people/animals 1 Month- 15 GoldUnit of food- 10people 1 month-30 GoldUnit of fodder- 10 animals 1 month-10 gold10 Hirelings/Month- 30 Gold10 Trained Hirelings(soldiers) /month-90 goldCannon-1,000 goldExtra Shot- 20goldExtra Powder-40goldOther costs see: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/goodsAndServices.htm>>24354395Just the one thanks.
>>24354575How many people do we have crewing the ships, and how much cargo space do we have?
>>24354575I'm assuming the cannons listed there are extra cannons not meant to be used for ship to ship combat, but rather rolled on to land and used in a fort or forts if we set one up? Or are we going to be required to buy the cannons for the ships?
>>24354575I'm going to let the other anons decide for this, as I'd just end up with twice as many cannons as we had shot and only 1 poorly trained crewman
Goal: Set up a presence on the coast near resources, clearing the immediate area, and setting up a coastal fort to use as a base of operations.
>>24354609I say we look around the peasantry for those willing to settle the new world. They can pay for their passage with indenture servitude and after their terms are free to colonize as they see fit. What we don't tell them is that we'll have them all killed as soon as a military presence is established in our new overseas territory.
>>24354633good idea, minus the needless genocidethat said, what are we going to buy?
>>24354591The Caravels have a crew of 20 and two cannons. The Carrack has five cannons and a crew of 40. The ships can carry roughly 100 tons of cargo all together. >>24354602Yes, they are additional cannon. The Extra Shot/Extra Powder is roughly enough to supply a cannon for a single heavy engagement.
>>243545753 cannons. 3,000 gold.120 shot. 480 gold.200 powder. 1,600 gold.20 hirelings. 600 gold a month. (9 months? a year?)30 units of water. 450 gold.30 units of food. 900 gold.10 units of fodder. 100 gold.4 guard dogs. 100 gold.Horse heavy. 200 gold.3 Horse light. 325 gold.4 bit and bridles. 8 gold.4 military saddles. 80 gold.10 Explorer's Outfit. 100 gold.30 pounds of soap. 150 gold.2,000 ft of hemp rope. 40 gold.20 manacles. 300 gold.20 hooded lanterns. 140 gold.100 ft of chain. 300 gold.50 bed rolls. 50 gold.Portable ram. 10 gold.More items needed, but I dunno.
>>24354649If it helps it's about a five month round trip.
I'm assuming there are hand weapons we can purchase too? Rifles?
>>24354693Soldiers will bring their own arms and armor. Here's weapon costs: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/equipment/weapons.htm#Assume Crossbow prices for Muskets. A unit of Shot/Powder will supply a hundred men for a prolonged engagement.
>>24354753Alright. I don't know if anyone else is still here though.
>>24354758I'm still here. Lurking until we arrive
>>24354758I'm here, I just have no idea how to equip the expedition boats. Sorry.
>>24354762>>24354766Haha. I don't know either. I'm winging this.
>>24354648I'm assuming that the crew for the boats are supplied, how good at fighting are they? I.e only good on the ships or good on Land and Sea or what?
>>24354758>>24354762>>24354766If you want to speed things up, Funt can hire someone else to do the accounting. Maybe one of those aforementioned gnomes? Then we could ignore logistics until it becomes plot relevant.
>>24354797I LIKE THAT.Make sure to have the accountant buy several cannons, plenty of shot, some rifles. Some horses for us and our closest advisers, some guard dogs, and plenty of tools. Like, real tools that we can use.Also, anti toxins, plenty of them. Because we don't know what weird diseases there are there. And some alchemists fire, because we won't let no Elf savages fuck with us when we land.
>>24354796They're a trained crew with naval experience. If you ordered them to, they could fight on land, but they'd be out of their element. They're sailors first, and prefer to shoot things until they surrender rather then get up close and personal.
>>24354797yeslets hire a very skilled one
>>24354818This setting has magic, yes? Maybe we should hire a mage of some sort, just in case
>>24354799>>24354809You pace the deck pulling at your beard. Thrice damned logistics! Do we need a dozen barrels of powder or is one enough? I'm a soldier damn it! Not a quartermaster.As simple as that an idea sticks in your head. You bound down the gangplank and head for the Jewish quarter. >I need a d6 and a d20 for a random event.
>>24354862>>24354866hrm, think i'm gonna leave it to fellow anons to roll aswell, been rolling crap all night
Rolled 13>>24354850are you taking the first rolls or best of 3?
Rolled 2 + 1>>24354850rollan
>>24354797>>24354809Yes please.Also, colonialism HO! (orc/human mix can reproduce with a young nubile elf female concubine right? Cause if so colonialism can be done entirely by a crew of just men; see mexico)
>>24354892does not work?
>>24354850>Hire a gnome accountant>head for the Jewish quarter. >Gnome jewOh god I can't even, this is awesome!
>>24354892doesn't work like thisyou can't post different dies in one post
>>24354917worked for me. got a 2 on the d6 and a 1 on the d20. Roll just sucked balls
>>24354892this is not the actual result.dice+1d6+1d20actually gets parsed as Rolled 1d6 + 1So we did NOT roll a nat 1 on the d20. You did roll a 2 on the d6.
>>24354929no it didn't, it added the 1 from '1d20' instead of the actual d20 result
>>24354929no it doesn'tyou rolled d6+1 I've seen several dice checks being fucked up because people don't know this.
Rolled 1 + 1Proof that its a +1 for the second dice.
Rolled 1 + 1Repeat proof
A week after hiring Senior Schylock, everything seems to be running smoothly. The wizened old gnome approaches you on the the deck of the Flor de Mar. He bows low and and hands you a piece of paper. "As soon as Father Ignatius boards we are all set to sail, captain."The paper details the supplies and personnel for the expedition:Various Supplies8 additional Cannon60 Soldiers, (30 musketeers, 20 Pikemen and 10 Cavalrymen)30 Assorted Workmen and Manuel Laborers10 Additional Sailors20 Indentured LaborersFood Water and Feed for 6 monthsShot and Powder for ~6 engagementsFather Ignatius-Jesuit PriestAntónio Silva Abreu Santos- WizardJose Schylock- Quartermaster((All personnel have been retained for 8 months))After reading the list you have to re-read it to make sure the numbers are right. "Madre de Dios" you mutter to yourself. "How can we afford eight cannons?" You look around for Schylock, but he seems to have run off. You're not entirely sure you wish to know where the money came from.
>>24355007Do we have horses and shit too?
>>24355007Sounds good, let's get going
>>24355007>A week after hiring Senior Schylock, everything seems to be running smoothlyBut what pound of flesh did we have to pay to get him on board?
>>2435501310 CalarymenSo we have 10 horses
>>24355007>After reading the list you have to re-read it to make sure the numbers are right. "Madre de Dios" you mutter to yourself. "How can we afford eight cannons?">>You look around for Schylock, but he seems to have run off. You're not entirely sure you wish to know where the money came from.Senior Schylock is totally trustworthy and didn't take outrageous loan on our behalf.
Rolled 1 + 1>>24355059Eh, when we conquer and build ourselves a nation in the new world this wont be an issue
>>24355059>>24355022Do you want to investigate? Or ignore it and assume it wont be a problem?
>>24355072Fuck it. SET SAILS
>>24355072Investigate, of course. But briefly.Also, do we have any old acquaintances who we know are trustworthy that we can get on board?
>>24355106A spy within the crew to detect mutiny.
You could compliment Schylock about his acumen and ask how he managed, just in case.
>>24355072IGNORE ITWe put all of our faith into our friendly merchantj/k lets investigate briefly
Also, whats the plan on making the money once we get there?I think rushing after gold would be unwise, spices are worth their weight in gold and much easier to procure.So I suggest we start conquering locals and set up slave/indentured plantations for producing large amounts of trade goods (sugar, tobacco, coffee, etc) for regular shipments back.
>>24355193we find treasure, both of the gold and elf varieties, we keep the elves and a small amount of gold, setup shop, ship the gold or whatever profits back, live like kings with a nubile elf slave on each arm
>>24355193>I think rushing after gold would be unwise, spices are worth their weight in gold and much easier to procure.Gold? PFFFFFFFFFWe are here to enslave elves, their blood is worth a fortune. Literally, in this setting elven blood can grant prolonged life, that's why they are almost extinct
>>24355205again, forgot to add, the spices and stuff is smart, and in much larger numbers than gold, and more exploitable, we could ship the gold home or use it to finance our version of the Dutch East India trading company
>>24355106>>24355162You confront Schylock. He claims "Father Ignatitus made a substantial contribution in order to be allowed to proselytize the new world. As for the cannons, I found them cheap. The rest..." he shifts awkwardly. "... I made other arrangements for."
The fleet sets sail. You watch the docks as you leave half expecting to see an angry swarm of creditors at your heels. As you pull farther and farther from port you forget about the money and prepare yourself for the journey ahead. Weeks pass, uneventfully, some of the men seem a bit skittish at being out of sight of land for this long. You are glad for the seasoned Portuguese sailors, some of them have made this trip before, and their presence does a great deal to calm the men. Father Ignatius seems to be quite the asset as well. The men are in good spirits with the priest around. On Sundays, the De Marhinah and Santa Anna pull aside Flor de Mar and the whole expedition can hear the father's homily. Santos seems less useful. He hasn't done much this voyage other then be sick and complain about "The eatheric damping qualities of brine."You're taking your turn on the till when you hear a sound carrying over the waves. It sounds almost like singing...
>>24355208but we should not further their endangered status, maybe get a bunch of elf slaves/servants and siphon some of their blood for sale, we want to be smart, not destroy a resource
>>24355219Sounds good. Lest go
>>24355208>We are here to enslave elves, their blood is worth a fortune. Literally, in this setting elven blood can grant prolonged life, that's why they are almost extinctseriously? That is fucking awesome.>>24355213>our version of the Dutch East India trading companyOh god yes :)Especially the part where we addict locals to opium, god that would be fucking profitable!
>>24355223oh shit, meremaidslets capture them and find a way for them to be useful or profitable
>>24354575There are some pointers for upstarting travelers in some second rate glossy magazine:what is our expected travel time to the new world?As it stands you have to pay 135 gold a month to supply your startup crew with basic living conditions. So I suggest three possible travel plans, where X is the amount of months.Budget: a pacifist venture with no military power Gold: 135Xeconomy: some extra grunts and a basic defence force (two cannon, 50 untrained hirelings), here there are starter costs and more costs over time gold: 2050 + 285Xsecond class: more than just defense, actual military might (3 light horses wich require fodder, six cannons with 60 extra shots and 50 trained hirelings) gold 9925 + 585.3X/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\The article goes on but you can't afford much, extra stuff for slave keeping does get recommended and a flexibility in expenses is advised.
>>24355223Singing? I'm not sure I like where this is going
>>24355223COVER YOUR EARS MEN, WE GOT SIRENS
>>24355236yes but we must do this smartly, we dont want to sell off the elves or destroy them, we want a long term relationship of profits in this region, even if it means getting friendly with them, trading for their blood, as long as its sustainable and profitable
>>24355223>You're taking your turn on the till when you hear a sound carrying over the waves. It sounds almost like singing...MMMMMERRRMAIDSOrder everyone to sign a crass, uplifting song or maybe religious song to drown that wretched song out.
>>24355258And maybe have the wizard put up defenses against their trickery
>>24355241>>24355254>>24355258WHAT, SING ALONG WITH THEM, WE SHALL WIN THEM OVER WITH OUR CHOIR
>>24355223>eatheric damping qualities of brine>not electrolysing the brine with lightning-based magic and using the salt as a spell component
>>24355258And whack anyone who's not singing and trying to listen to the mermaids. We will not have our men drown!Also, we could ask advice from experienced crew
>>24355223notify the wizard, warn the men, and ready our diplomacy condom
The traditional defense against sirens is bee waxEveybody knows sign language right?We don't even know if these are sirens, but if they are there's a trick to catching them that involves a straw puppet, peck, a long rope and seagulls, lots of sea gulls. It's incredibly dangerous though.
>mfw they turn out to be friendly and we get them addicted to a cocktail of elf blood + opiumwhat shall we name our Dutch East India V2.0?
>>24355307we don't even have any opium or fantasy opium counterpart yetbut it'd probably be called moon dust or something like that
>>24355307>sirens>friendlyTHEY ARE MANEATING MONSTERS!To the plank with you!
>>24355297we shall fuck our way into the new world and sit atop a throne of gold and elf bitches
>>24355297condom? hah, bastards are how a man measures his worth.
>>24355326we dont know that... maybe they just need someone to listen to them and appreciate them...the businessman in me just thought of catching one and using it as a lure to attract customers to a shop...
>>24355266>WizardYes, get the wizard.We have been having too much fun planning for future and not enough voting on how to deal with sirens>>24355337best plan ever!
>>24355348>deal with sirensthey can't eat you if they are having too much fun having sex with youthink about it, all the hormones and chemicals and shit from a good hard lovin' would be like crack if they have never had it beforeand we can totally sell it to them
>>24355337>>24355348>>24355365I didn't know that Siren spies infiltrated our crew.
>>24355365serious plan time, alert the wizard, ask the more experienced sailors on 'siren, wat do?' and look for the source of the singing, can't hurt us if we blow it out of the water first
>>24355224>>24355227Does not compute>>24355254>>24355258>>24355266>>24355270>>24355223The singing grows louder, it's almost painfully sweet. A second tics by before you realize what's going on, and cover your ears and begin singing the bawdiest song you can remember. You turn looking to one of the more veteran crew members. He's as pale as a sheet and begins singing along. Together the two of you spread the song throughout the ship. The more veteran crew move to track down wax or cotton, anything to plug the crew member's ears. The Flur de Mar is safe, but already you can hear splashes from the other ships as crew members dive into the waters.You track down Santos, and scream for him to do something to save your men. "I-I can't! The brine!" You're close to tossing him to the sirens when you hear the roar of a cannon. One of the veteran crew, is standing next to the smoking barrel. You notice that the singing has stopped. An hour or so later, and you've fished most of your men out of the water. After a head count you realize you're down five men. Father Ignatius presides over the funeral.
>>24355413what spies? there are no spies here...none at all
>>24355420This, also ordering the men to sing is a good idea.
>>24355423we have a gnome onboard, gnomes are smart engineering wise right? can we have him fabricate a net attached to our hull that we can lower and raise to catch sea creatures totally not so we can catch sea sirens and use/sell them for profit
>>24355423is this a 'wat do?' moment? might help to greentext whether it is or giving options on how to proceed, because right now I'm just waiting for more progress posts
>>24355423We need to pull the wizard into line, diplomatically. We can't have possibly our most useful ally be the weakest link in the chain.
>>24355423damn, lost five menwhat a shame.We should be ready for the next time this happens.>>24355471not sure what he did wrong though, what does he mean by "the brine"?
>>24355441Schylock looks confused at the suggestion. 'I'm more of a bookkeeper really. I'm pretty sure that the Santa Anna has a dwarf on board." He pauses. "Is that an order captain?">>24355469Not as such. Just an update. I wanted to break up my post a bit. Thanks for the green text idea.I'm working on one more post right now. Then it's sleep time.
>>24355483He can't use magic on open sea because of the salt, he's basically useless until we dock
>>24355521Forget pulling him into line.
>>24355508>Schylock looks confused at the suggestion. 'I'm more of a bookkeeper really. I'm pretty sure that the Santa Anna has a dwarf on board." He pauses. "Is that an order captain?"No. Ignore it.I think it was misunderstanding of the poster>>24355521>>24355550Well, we can't do much about that can we. Maybe order him to search for ways around it.
I can see how this quest is going to go, what plans do we have to make to secure ourselves against more sea monsters?Are we going to have to worry about Krakens and the like?
>>24355483>>24355471You call Santos into your cabin after the funeral. His face is pale, still green around the gills after months at sea. You motion for him to take a seat in front of your desk. "What was that about? I've got five dead men. Dead men, you should have been able to save."Santos sputters "I-I-I." You stare at the wizard and his sputtering stops. Santos tries to compose himself before continuing. "I apologize captain. I was unprepared for how disorienting sea travel would be. I'm afraid that surrounded by this much sea water, there's not a whole lot I can do."Losing men always puts you in a ill humor, and you aren't in much of a mood to hear excuses. "This isn't a game Santos. If you can't magic what good are you? Either figure out a way to be useful or report to Harker for gunnery training. Now get out of my sight.">>24355572You don't have any reports of ships being attacked by krakens. Of course that might be because no one has survived an attack to report. Another week passes. You've make sure that there are bowls filled with wax at ready around the ship in case you run into more sirens. According to the navigator you should be sighting land soon. Some of the men have started a betting pool on who's watch it'll be. You're doing your morning rounds when a call comes out from the crows nest. It's land! You peer off in the distance, but your eyes aren't as good as the orc in the nest, and it takes a few minutes for you to make out the smudge on the horizon. After months at sea, you're close to doing a jig.Pulling ever closer, you get your first good look at the New World. It's more lush and green than you had imagined. You order the men to lower a longboat. A few minutes of excited rowing and you and a handful of men are standing on the solid ground in the new world! You take a flag from one of the men, and slam it into the sandy soil. " I hear by claim this land for King Manuel and the Kingdom of Portugal"
Since this is a fantasy setting sea monsters should be expected. Cannons should be designed to potentially swivel to shoot into the water rather then only at far off ships. Have a few cannons placed at the sea facing mounts and make sure they are manned at all time during rest of trip.Apologize to accountant for racially stereotyping him.Have the wizard exercise with the seamen to help him get over his sea sickness faster. Don't expect anything from him until he does (at least he would be useful when we reach land)
>>24355734Now it's sleep time. I'll be back in a few with the next installment. ((Now with 100% more malaria!!!))I'm thinking about doing the next right ups all as log entry's in Funt's Journal. Is this a good idea? Y/N?
>>24355751>((Now with 100% more malaria!!!))good thing that 2x0 = 0 eh? eh?
>>24355751Might b coolDon't forget to archive!
>>24355751could work, why not try it out, if it fails go back to the old wayeither way, i look forward to our next thread, onwards to gold and nubile elf salves!
you didn't archive your thread