Since the dawn of time, the peoples of the world have had their legends. Be they the titanic figures who forged the great nations, founded the eternal cities, and codified the very beliefs that millions still hold. Be they the heroes and villains who have shaped the land since with their deeds, slaying armies and ruining cities. Their acts are monumental, their personages monolithic, but it is their stories that truly shape the land. Stories are the lifeblood of a people, they shape their culture, their very way of thinking. And, in every one of these tales, these legends, there is a single shared strand. Everyone must sleep. Everyone must eat. Everyone desires companionship. In all of these legends, these myths, these heroic tales: a single constant. The Tavern.Adventuring is not for you, and no God has made you his chosen. Evil is, well, risky. Politics is boring and deadly in equal measure. Farming? You'd rather plant a hoe into your own head than into the dirt for the rest of your days. No, you will become legend through the clearest, best path you can imagine. Its time to open a Tavern. The Tavern.
Last time on Tavern Quest, Tallius Urist spent his time and money acquiring the people who will run his business. Sif and Martellus agreed to help him, providing brewing equipment, Martellus' skills as a brewer and barman, and Sif's strong back and fine looks, if also her lack of subltety. He then proceeded into town to find a cook, stumbling upon the neglected, but very delicious, hunting stand run by Miaya, an elven huntress with an interest in Impressionism. Seeing promise in both her cooking and her art, her brings her on to work as both cook and hunter for the Tavern. Tallius then purchased some assorted kitchenry and weapons, but the hour drew late, so he sought to purchase a cart for the return trip. Unfortunately, his inexperience with this level of negotiation shone through, and the dastardly Cart Salesman talked him into purchasing a cart far beyond his needs or price range. With this purchase came sundown, and Tallius decided to stay at the empty Donner's Tavern with Martellus and Sif, gathering his new hires for the return journey the next morning. A pleasant night of drinking, and surprisingly heartfelt conversation was had. Tallius then fell into a deep sleep, where we find him now.Tallius UristBarter: 2/5Streetsmarts: 1/5Strength: 2/5Cunning: 3/5Charisma: 4/5Business 1/5Inventory:Senatorial Signet RingConcealed Dagger, Inscription reads "Imperator"Two Iron Daggers.Three Iron Studded Blackjacks.Crossbow, 50 bolts.Dignity1,470 Gold Holdings:Fine horse-drawn cart, valued at 500 gold.Crossroads Outpost, unaltered, dilapidated. Sale value estimated at 6,000 gold.
Employees:Sif: Barmaid with unusual strength and little tact. Weekly Wage of 30. Insurance pool deposit of 10.Martellus: Burly academic with brewing and barman skills. Weekly wage of 30. Insurance pool deposit of 10. Contracted for Barkeeping lessons.Miaya: Eccentric Painter, Cook, and Huntress, in that order. Weekly wage of 30. Insurance pool deposit of 10. Contracted for Hunting lessons.You have close cropped brown hair, and are clean shaven. You will remain so, lest someone recognize your once distinctive facial hair. Your wife used to call your eyes liar's blue. You and Lucretia were not on the best of terms at the time, but she has a point there. You are currently wearing high quality, but not high profile, traveler's leathers.
>>24361326It's Tavern Time!
>>24361326TAVERN UP THIS SHIT! YEAH!Let's ask Sif and Martellus if we can go in Donner's room when we wake up, try to find a diary or some shit that might have the blackmail material that he had on that trader.
>>24361405Good idea, but first let's give them their blackjacks.
Your sleep, deep though it may have been has been disturbed, as you almost fall from the large bed of the King's Suite, inside Donner's tavern. Taking a moment to remember where you are and why, you realize you likely have time to return to sleep if you so wish. It sounds as if Sif and Martellus have yet to wake. You may also decide to get a headstart on a busy day, however.Sleep some more or get going?Note: Sleeping more will entail a dream sequence I originally had planned for the OP, but I decided I would ask if you wanted to proceed with the day's business first or not. It's more backstory, if you want to get some business done right away, its better to wake now.
We gots to name this jointHuzzahsLiar's BrewSomething about our wifes cunt
>>24361352Wait, I thought we had Sif contracted for Bouncer lessons as well?
Wake up and do buisiness
>>24361454We'll name it later. Let's wake those two up and get our shit in the cart, then ask them if we could check Donner's room for a journal or something.
>>24361439>Optional back story sequenceBack story is never optional! Must have more information!
>>24361496It will be saved for later if passed over now, I know some people really wanted to increase the pace, so I am allowing the option of putting this off.
>>24361439I say sleep. there is nothing so pressing it can't wait for an hour
>>24361514Finding a journal with blackmail material might...Just saying...
>>24361540Didn't Sif and Marty already promise to hook us up with that?
>>24361556Martellus had the information, and indicated he would would tell the Caravaner that his agreement is now with your Tavern.
>Here for a thread at lastYou got off-site communication, pal?
>>24361575I didn't think that they did...Ah, well, let's find out what it was! If it's some really heinous shit, all the better!
>>24361575Let us discover the information! And hope it's worse than our scandal!
>>24361510As long as we get to see it latter I'm okay with waking up early.
>>24361510Lets wake up and do that dream thing later
>>24361575Starting the day off with procrastination is never a good thing. Get the fuck up, you lazy oaf.
>>24361439You could even have it so that at the end of each thread we have a dream/daydream and reveal stuff that way.
You decide to get an early start on the day, and climb out of bed. Donning your traveler's leathers, you proceed into the hall to wake Sif and Martellus.You find Sif practicing some form of pugilism in her room, the door wide open as you walk in. Still in the same revealing bedgown she wore when you had shared a drink the night before, she parts the air with quick thrusts, hands alternately clenched into fists and pointed into stabbing point. It's both brutal and beautiful, a style built not on finesse, but measured force. She noticed you in the mirror she is facing, and scrambles to face you, nearly tripping over her own packed belongings." Oh, shit, oh, fuck. Hey boss, I was just doing my morning exercises, ha ha. I'll be ready in just a sec, if you could just close the door."You nod and shut the door as asked, no need to see what little her gown didn't already reveal.Martellus also seems to have been up, he is fully dressed, sitting on the side of a neatly made bed and perusing a book." Ah, Tallius. I see you are about early, as am I. I was perusing the documents that Donner had concerning the Caravaner, a man called Karth."You nod a greeting as you enter." May I see those, Martellus?""Certainly."He hands over the small ledger, and it immediately makes sense to your politician's brain. This Karth appears to have a liking for Elves. Exclusively, and in the carnal sense. Protectorate law does not prevent inter-species coupling, but it's not the thing a trader would want known.Your curiosity satisfied, you hand the ledger back to Martellus." When do you meet with this man?"He puts the book in a satchel lying on the bed." Half an hour, he's passing by on his way out of town, and will deliver his first shipment to you sometime tomorrow."That makes sense, Caravaners tend to make many stops, so he would take some time to get to the outpost. That matter put to bed, what to attend next, Tallius?
>>24361820Give Martellus his Blackjack, then apologize for being so loud last evening.Later, we should ask Sif for Bouncer lessons.
>>24361874Might as well make a mental note to keep him away from Miaya, as we are not running a brothel.
>>24361820Anything else we need in town? If not, best to head out early and meet up with the carpenter/mason. Maybe let our new employees make some suggestions on how they want their individual rooms furnished and such as long as it doesn't cost us too much. We are giving them a new home and that kind of employee treatment can go a long way.
>>24361820We should bring our cook when we meet him. Her presence will likely have benefits due to his proclivities, and she knows what supplies we will need to purchase from him.
Can I join in?
>>24361874>>24361820Give him his blackjack, ask if they got many travelers on horseback. We have a small stable at the moment and are looking to see if we need to upgrade that soon or in the future.>>24361930I like it.>>24361935Not quite sure if this is a good idea, but she would know what to buy.
>>24361953Nothing stopping you.
>>24361953Pull up a chair, were just getting started here!
>>24361953Welcome to the party.
>>24361953All are welcome.
>>24361930I like this. Let's bring him along for the ride!>>24361935Not so sure about this plan. We should warn her, regardless, about his possible "interest" in her race.
>>24361953Welcome, friend, and enter.
Can I have an against vs for on the matter of getting Miaya and bringing her to Karth?
>>24361962Come on we may get benefits in our price negotiations with him, (perhaps he's beta as fuck) and we don't know all the supplies we need.
>>24362032I'm against without getting her express permission first.
>>24362032I vote in favor.
>>24362032I would say bring her with us but warn her of the circumstances before hand
>>24362032I'm for it, but we should warn her about him.
>>24362061It's not like he's going to be overcome with lust and rape her. though if we tell her maybe she can use her elfish wiles on him.
>>24362032We DEFINITELY need to warn her before we introduce them. Like, "He's a dickhead, but please don't kill him, unless he tries to rape you." warning.
>>24362118Breaking his fingers is negotiable though...
>>24362061You decide you will accompany Martellus to the meeting, and decide that having Miaya there as well could be useful. Sif and Martellus load their various belongings onto the back of your cart, Sif sputtering in disbelief at the sight of it." Boss, I knew you were a fancy guy, but this is a bit too much, isn't it?"Your face clouds, your eyes staring into the nether, far further than mortals are meant to see, as your mouth draws open slightly." Lady Sif, I really do not want to talk about it."She knows when to drop a subject, at the least, or perhaps your use of her new "title" mollified her. Either way, there is no further mention of the cart's origins, though you swear that Martellus suppressed a smirk as he took his seat beside you on the right of the bench, Sif sitting on the left side with a look of obviously exaggerated offense at you actions.Martellus' equipment is already gone. Apparently the men he hired to move it had already been by. You hope they have appropriate security for the road, that equipment is expensive.You find Miaya in front of her humble stand, bow slung over her shoulder and paintings bundled up with blankets around her.She exchanges quick greetings with Martellus and Sif, nodding at Martellus' formal introduction, cocking her head to one side at Sif's bubbly manner and deluge of questions regarding elves. You do not envy her, and decide to end the torrent." Miaya, we need you to meet with a supplier of ours, and tell him exactly what we need from him, as far as the kitchen goes."She looks you in the eyes, moving her head from one side to the other in that odd habit of hers." Of course, Tallius, that is part of my duties now. But I see you have more to tell."You nod." This man, Karth, he has a, well, a proclivity for your kind. I thought to warn you of it, as he may act untoward."She blinks her large eyes twice, facial expression unchanging as ever.(Cont.)
>>24362347" I can handle it, Tallius. My emotions are not so fragile to be offended by a human who cannot control his desires. If they were, I imagine Gearwatch would not be the place for me, much less your Tavern."Her agreement to the plan ensured, you continue to meet with the supplier back in front of Donner's.Karth is an aging man with a somewhat worn down straw hat, and an impressive beard that reminds you of the one a certain Senator Sertorius had once upon a day. He appears to be extremely unhappy to be here, a hooded figure, who you assume to be one of his employees, sits beside him on the cart." You know, when Donner died I thought I was free of this damned bargain. I ought to report you all to the guards. But, what of it? What do you want from me."Martellus coolly explains that he now owes you the supplies promised in the agreement, and then Miaya steps forth." You're the cook? Excuse my earlier harshness, it's just that this deal is getting worse all the time. Tell me what you need, and I'll get it to you, I am as good as my word. Which is what got me into this mess, I suppose.She does so, imparting a list various supplies and foodstuffs your Tavern will need to thrive in the coming weeks. You quickly drone it out, for the sake of your sanity. It's an insanely comprehensive list.The business done, it appears that Karth is preparing to leave. You have yet to speak to the man, and he seems unwilling to go out of his way to meet his new "partner", considering the nature of his situation.It's up to you if you want to bother, otherwise you can continue on and meet with Santher before hitting the road.
>>24362568Eh, I'm in the mood to wait to get to know him until we prove that this is a successful business venture.
>>24362615Yeah, let's just keep going for now. We'll work things out with him on a more personal level later.
>>24362568Let's wait, we have other stuff to be about first.
>>24362568We should at least shake his hand and thank him. If we end up becoming his friend, he might give us the discount without being forced to hold the material over his head.Mind, he still needs to keep his hands off...
>>24362568Lets move on, and see what Santher is up too.
>>24362568Shall we introduce our self and ask if he has anything that he is willing to sale? Even if we don't do the latter trying to smooth out relations with our supplier might be beneficial for our future success.
>>24362663>>24362736True, this might be useful. At least we should get to know what he sells.
>>24362663That sounds good
>>24362736This may not be a bad idea.
You decide to let the man move on, but you do insist on shaking his hand and thanking him. Karth seems more perplexed than anything, but his hooded friend places a hand on his arm and he decides to return the gesture. He will be coming by the Tavern before too long, and you have business to attend yet. Karth leads his carriage away, and as he does, you see pale faces peek out of the back of the covered wagon, children by the look of it. Odd. You will have to ask about that when you get the opportunity.You find Santher and his men loading up for the journey in front of his shop. He appears to have hired a small escort, two adventurer types, a burly looking man sharpening a dagger and an old, wiry woman with a bow. At least he knows the road is dangerous. Besides them, a dozen or so work men bustle about, loading two carts full of supplies and tools for his contract at the Crossroads.You pull up beside where he sits, atop the lead cart." Tallius Urist? I thought you gone for the outpost yesterday."You shake the craftsman's hand in greeting." There were complications. We are heading out now, thought you would not mind if we traveled there together."Santher thinks for a moment." Well, sure, but you are going to have to pay for one of the guards then, if they have to cover your wagon too. Is that fair? I paid Maud there 150 for her services."He indicates the woman with the bow, who you now see is glaring at you through her one remaining eye. You shudder involuntarily.Response?
>>24363083I don't mind paying a little for it is beneficial to travel as a group.
>>24363083Sure, although we should ask if they would mind being partially paid in beer. Keep our crossbow nearby, and tell Sif and Miaya to ready themselves, just in case...
>>24363083How much money do we have since I am new I would like to know.
>>24363163Agreed. See if we can save a small bit of money, and offer product.
>>243631991,470 Gold currently
>>24363163This is good.
>>24363206I don't know, we kind of already heavily bartered with this guy and it kind of got him a bit angry, might be best to go full price just as a show of good faith.
>>243631991,470 GP. The cart cost us a bundle, and we plan to recoup it by offering horse and cart rentals, so we can run that damned cart salesman out of business, or own his business...
>>24363224Not Santher, the guard lady. We already paid for his services in the first thread.
>>24363083Full price for a good show of faith. Do not play at being a miser when our life is at stake.
>>24363083I have to go soon can I get a date and time on the next session
>>24363300Every Saturday begining at five and running until whenever.
>>24363299Very true, if there is one person you don't want to cheap out on it's the person who will be holding your life in their hands.Leads to them wondering if they could get a better deal by slitting your throat.
>>24363163I would like rolls for this. This is cunning, so first four d100's linked will be counted, one per post.
Rolled 56>>24363340Rollin Thunder
>>24363327Alright, but we should still offer beer for them. No real reason not to get some cash off of the Mercs.We'll be nice to the stonemason though. We might be seeing him around, and we could use all the repeat customers we can get.
Rolled 52, 63 = 115>>24363357>>24363372>>24363397>>24363398
>>24363398if only I had to leave earlier
>>24363399>Roll number 5Oh lawd.
>>24363399(sad puppy eyes at Barkeep) ...Please, sir... ...can we keep it?
>>24363414I THINK WE GOT IT!(maybe...)
>>24363163You turn to Sif, and Miaya, who is in the back of the cart, holding her paintings to her chest. You speak softly, so as to not give away what you are saying." Just in case, be ready for anything. I don't think Santher has it in for us, but it pays to never assume."Sif nods, and you note she has already placed a blackjack in the waistband of her trousers, behind her back. Miaya cocks her head, a slight smile growing on her face." You are smarter than you seem, Tallius."You smirk back, and return your attention to Santher." How about I throw in some free drinks, and I'll pay you a hundred for their trouble."You speak deliberately louder than Santher." Deal." The big man with the knives speaks up before Santher can say anything, the now familiar look of outrage coloring the elf's face for a moment before he collects himself." That sounds great, Tallius, just wonderful. You are more than welcome to tag along."Santher is gritting his teeth so hard you are surprised they haven't shattered. A low giggling begins from behind you, and you are surprised to see Miaya suppressing laughter. Well, trying to, anyway." Heh. Heh. Shall we set off then?"If you are ready to leave Gearwatch, please roll a d6. Taking the first linked.
Calling a quick intermission so I can eat, guys. Expect me back in an hour or so to continue the thread.
Rolled 2>>24363541CCCC-Combo breaker
>>24363541>>24363575>>24363609OH GOD, I THINK WE'RE STUCK.
farewell and good bye
>>24363690Not before you take responsibility for this mess, boy!(angry fist wave)GIT OVER HERE!Enjoy your date, new friend!
>>24363761The cart catches fire, despite no flames being near it. Roll me 1d10 for how many seconds you have before you realize what a load of horseshit that is.
Rolled 1>>24363825That damn cart salesman!
>>24363825Bandits. Flying bandits. Where did they get their wings, you ask? /tg dice is the answer. Your entire company is swarmed by 20 flying bandits. Roll initiative.
Yo guys. Just caught this one thanks to a recommendation. Hope it doesn't actually take an hour for Barman to get back. Anyway, glad to join.
>>24363950The horse we bought is actually a Nightmare. And carnivorous.
>>24363945YOU AND I BOTH
>>24363982222 feral, rabid lemurs attack the convoy. I need 2 roll's to see how many bites you receive and how many will cause the rabies. You are not a rabid bartender. >>24363981He generally sticks to his times well. We shall see though.
Is it fine if I keep my trip and play as well?
>>24364069We get a devil that is only a third as evil as Asmodeus himself.
>>24364107Seeing as how most of the players have trips I'd say yes.
>>24364107Come on in! Join us in guessing how these rolls (>>24363541, >>24363575, and >>24363609) will cause us to fail in some spectacular way!
>>24364107>>24364120Honestly I'd prefer is everyone dropped trip except the author.
847,624 bees decide we would make a great place for a nest. We are now bees
According to my very quick Google Fu, 222 means everything going to be ok.
>>24364316And knowing how cliche's work, we are now completely fucked after that sentence.
>>24364360Oh crap I forgot about that rule. It is now pic related
>>24364391If it's Sif or Miaya going for us, I am totally OK with that.If it's Martellus, the merc guy or the one eyed wonder, well everyone, roll for anal circumference...
>>24364508So we're good?
>>24364520no, thats not good
>>24364508I think we're OK for it to fit. For not getting fucked in the butt... ...No.
>>24363541Santher nods to you as you indicate your business in town is done. " Well, let's be off then. You can take the rear of the convoy, I have Maud and Brutus riding with me."You can't argue with that reasoning, in the event of trouble you might have more time to react. Martellus manipulates the reins, bringing you in line with Santher's carts, and you proceed out of Gearwatch and towards the crossroads outpost.There is some leisurely conversation between Martellus and Miaya as the journey continues. He appears to be very interested in her paintings, as expected of academics. She, on the other hand, is curious about Meridia, and the big man is surprisingly happy to talk about the arid valleys of his homeland. You think he even drops out of his overwrought syntax a bit, which surprises you.You throw in an observation or two, but mostly keep to yourself. The countryside is very peaceful, for a rocky waste right next to the most dangerous place in the continent. It's not long before you notice Sif has fallen asleep, and you gently nudge her off your shoulder. She does not stir from the movement.Some hours pass before you decide Sif has the right of it, and decide to close your eyes for a rest. Just as you decide to do so, you see a column of horsemen approaching from a bend in the road. A copse of evergreens must have hidden them from sight until now. A patrol in itself is not too unusual, you remember Sullivan and his men. But there is something familiar about these riders, something about their armor...Cunning rolls, please. Four linked to this post. You need two above fifty.
>>24364188For the record, I have absolutely no opinion on Trips in Tavern Quest one way or another. Do what you want, I care not. It's not even worth discussing, so I will ask that this be the end of it. Thanks guys.
Rolled 50>>24364678Our comeuppance?
>>24364714>>24364722>Made in the first two
>>24364714>>24364722Sweet! We succeed!
>>24364714>>24364722>>243647323/4 over 50, since >>24364729wasn't linked to Barkeep's post. Score.
>>24364783Uh, yes it was dude.
>>24364783It was the 15 that wasn't.
Rolled 42>>24364724NO WAIT, >>24364724 posted about >>24364714's roll! That means >>24364732 is the fourth!Fuck yes, we did it!
>>24364783>>24364804I meant >>24364724Clicked on the wrong one.
>>24364714>>24364722You heart drops as you realize who these men are. White armor, gilded with gold. Far too ostentatious for practical men like your father and yourself. Helmets with white vertical plumes, gauntlets painted a dull, blood-crimson. They wield, to a man, poleaxes shined to a silver sheen, with ornate handheld crossbows holstered at their sides.The armor and armament is distinctive, though you've only seen it in person a few times.Paladins of the Sanguine Altar. The order founded by Louis Eforet himself. You can think of only one reason why these warriors would come so far north, and that reason is a man who died the day Tallius Urist was born.You need to act quickly, as it seems they are motioning for Santher to halt the convoy. You look different, to be certain, but are they briefed on your mannerisms, your speech? It seems likely, one of the things you always loved about Lucretia was how she never left anything to chance, though you love it less now.
>>24364964We run we become a target and we get chased down, fuckity fuck fuck. So we can't run, all we can do is weather the storm and try to make it out the other side. Wake up Sif, we want any additional distractions that she'll provide, try to look inconspicuous, out of the way, and not somewhere where they can see us while not looking like we're hiding, back of the cart, sitting/lying down, looking like we're taking a nap.If we get called upon to talk keep it short, simple, to the point, don't use any flowery language of show too much charm.
>>24364964Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck. Do we know any accents?
>>24364964I say we lay down and grab Sif like we're sleeping together. If she starts freaking out tell her we're sorry and part of that past we talked about is catching up so please lay still and help us out, if they wake us up the cover is we're married
>>24364964Hmm, this is tricky since we also have to act in a way that doesn't arouse the suspicion of our new companions. So we can't act too differently either.Sif is still asleep on our shoulder and we were about to nod off ourselves. Play that up, we're tired and groggy and thus a bit incoherent and not really willing to talk much. Keep quiet, keep low, stay natural.
Rolled 41>>24365046AGREED, TELL MARTY THAT WE'RE THE DRIVER HE'S HIRED TO DRIVE US TO THE KEEP. FAKE BEING A DUMBASS PESANT.
>>24365098This is the best way to go about it. Just be as uninteresting as possible.
Rolled 80>>24364563We show try to adopt the accent of common folk."Ello gud Sers. Dis sure is fixin ta be a mighty fine day ain't it?"
>>24365109Agreed, pretend to be asleep and if woken up act as groggy as possible.
Rolled 16>>24365124Completely wrong post, good sir.
>>24365089Are you saying that we need to engage in tactical snuggling?I wouldn't go with the married cover story, we want everything we say to match what we've told everyone else here because if we say we're married and the people around us look confused or say we aren't then we've got complications.>>24365109Same to this, if we pretend to be an idiot people around us might give us odd looks, we can be uninteresting, groggy, and so on, but acting like a dumb yokel will confuse everyone around us and hurt our lie.>>24365124Bad plan, we haven't talked like that yet and we don't want to spill any beans.
>>24365124>>24365109>>24365089>>24365046Do you really want to deal with trying to somehow correlate a cover up with a bunch of people we just met without explaining to them why during the beginning of a business venture?
Rolled 40>>24365144Plus, getting closer to Sif might be nice...
>>24365152Well it's either we cover our identity somehow or we try and fight off a band of paladins.I'd rather deal with difficult questions later than a polearm in the face now.
>>24365144If our companions question us we can just say we have a mild affliction.
>>24365144>>24365152Okay okay, marriage equals bad. But sleeping and tactical snuggling are good tactics.
>>24364964Perhaps we can feign illness. I doubt anyone wants to be near an ill person, eh?
>>24365165We don't need a cover up if we just act groggy and tired and not suspicious.
>>24365174Lets just do this. If she tries to scream...well...
Just keep it simple. Be a regular innkeeper on the road to his new establishment with his new employees.Do not make things complicated, to not put on some dramatic act, do not say anything that one of the others might accidentally show up as a lie.Just be a regular person as best you can. Anything else is just asking for trouble.
THEN SNUGGLE POWERS, AWAY!
>>24365165This man has the right of it. >>24365144and tactical snuggling might be the way to go, assuming we can get the focus off us quickly.
>>24365179If we pretend to be sick we'll get people confused as we weren't sick earlier.What we do is we act tired, groggy, boring, and just so uninteresting that we don't grab any attention, if they do talk to us we talk like a normal person heading to set up their new inn.
>>24365191You are also forgetting how defensive Martellus is of Sif. If we start pressing up against her he might get mad at us.
>>24365195This, please.I swear, some of these plans are just short of putting on a fake top hat and glasses in terms of stupidity.
>>24365206This, I would rather not create a complicated work environment already
>>24365165>>24365201Are you guys forgetting that we're already under a fake identity?
>>24365206>>24365219She's already leaning against us, I just meant that we lean back, not full body hugs.
Link votes for tactical snuggling vs. Acting casual here, please.
>>24365195OK, then, K.I.S.S. rule. Right, I can go with this.
>>24365229Act casual.Tactical snuggling has too much potential to go wrong.
>>24365229Casual and sleepy for me.
>>24365229Casual seems the way for me
>>24365229Well, even though I suggested tactical snuggling, acting casual is better. Stupid me.
>>24365229Lets play it cool.
>>24364964Play it cool. Tell them the truth, we're Tallius Urist. Ask them to provide a description and when we get to our inn we can put up a wanted board and offer a reward for any information. Provided the paladins give you a stipend to hand out for tips, and something to cover the strenuous effort of gathering said tips.Then use our extreme will power to refrain from saying, "SUCK IT!" when they fall for it.
>>24365275I wish I could slap you over the internet.
>>24365257Maybe we can act so casual that we slump into sif's arms.
Rolled 27, 85, 43, 27, 37, 42 = 261IGNORE ME
>>24365275This...This fucker right here.>>24365229Act casual with this guys post.
>>24365275I wish I could stroke your hair and tell you everything will be alright after he slaps you.
>>24365293OH GOD WE'RE FUCKED OUT OF THE GATE!
>>24365275Because putting up a description of ourselves is such a good idea, and not putting up a description when we just said in front of everyone that we would and got payed for it wouldn't be suspicious at all.
>>24365342In other word, that is a HUGE risk for a very shitty profit. Who taught you business?
>>24365342Ever heard of hiding in plain sight?Why the hell would an ex politician be running a grimy tavern so close to things that could kill him?And when people point out we kinda look like the guy we laugh and say yeah we do.
>>24365380Alternatively, we could just not do that, and not risk some bounty hunter deciding we look close enough that he could stab us in the throat and claim we're the guy, even if we might not be.
>>24365380Some drunken idiot(which there will be no shortage of in a tavern) is still going to report it and we're going to have to be put under scrutiny.
>>24365380Disinformation is a powerful tool, if we bandy up the wanted poster a bit, and put out a couple conflicting rumors, people won't know what the hell to look for. Soon it will be a thing of the past.Besides, who doesn't love fucking with the system?
>>24365413>Besides, who doesn't love fucking with the system?People who want to live?
>>24365380"You think I look that ugly?"
>>24365413Someone who is just trying to live a quiet, peaceful life running a Tavern away from all this bullshit.
You decide your best option is simply to play is as casual as possible. You are not the former Senator Sertorius, after all, and you are not hunted by Paladins. You are Tallius Urist, and you are on your way to open a damn Tavern.The patrol begins fanning out throughout the convoy, the six riders inspecting the carts and occasionally sharing some words with the men driving them.One of them, who you assume is the leader by the crimson streaks in his helmet's plume, pulls up to your cart. His face is a scarred mess, only partially hidden by a ridiculous mustache that you know for a fact was out of style two years ago." In the name of Lucretia Le'Eforet, Grandmistress of our order, name your business."The fact that she took her maiden name back fails to surprise you. The fact that she has apparently become both a Paladin and the Grandmistress of her order does not. You have to work to keep the surprise out of your face.You realize this man has not recognized you, but he may know your voice or speaking patterns. How do you react?
>>24365293For the record, their success for this roll was a ninety or above. It was pretty close.
>>24365497Gesture to everything around us."Moving hardware."Keep it short and simple, less chance of giving away personify traits or voice recognition.
>>24365497Shut your face and let the others answer
>>24365497Be casual, perhaps a little overawed by being confronted by paladins, as any regular tavernkeeper would be.Explain to them (in as short and simple terms as possible) that we are heading back to our place of business to set up. Don't say any more or less than is absolutely necessary.
>>24365497Tallius Urist, tavern keeper. I'm starting a tavern in the old barracks near the ruined city.
Rolled 38>>24365497Opening a tavern, sir. (sit silently)OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD
>>24365497Stare for a brief moment, blink tiredly, and simply say "Tallius Urist, Tavern Keeper."
>>24365497"Heading out to the old crossroad outpost to fix her up and open up a tavern. I'm the proprietor of the new establishment Tallius Urist." Short and simple.
>>24365497Like a tired bar owner who just had a pile of paladins start asking him questions, so a bit scared and confused, very awed, but not guilty.Keep our voice groggy and tired, a bit lower than normal as we just 'got up' and after sleep people's voices are usually of a lower register. "Moving supplies, I'm setting up a Tavern at the Crossroads."
I'm opening tavern down the road goodsir. What's the meaning of this stop?
>>24365577Don't ask questions, questions lead to an ongoing conversation, which we want to avoid.
Charisma roll with attached dialogue, please, you can use dialogue already posted by linking it.Three dice.
Rolled 69>>24365671OH GOD
>>24365696>9oh fuck OH FUCK
>>24365692and I forgot to add what i was going to say. whoops
Rolled 57, 56, 16 = 129>>24365671"I am moving hardware, gentlemen, to my Tavern. Is there a problem?"
>>24365671Isn't the dice number based on our charisma score? Shouldn't it be 4 then?
>>24365738Negative modifier, like you had a positive with the cunning rolls earlier.
Please Barkeep, just make them want a bribe for some stupid shit. Don't just have us insta-fail the Quest. Please...
Rolled 16, 77 = 93>>24365687>>24365692>>24365696
>>24365767I highly doubt we'd get instant fail, just a bad situation that we'll need to work out of.We do have companions with us, remember?
>>243657731 vs 1So is that a draw? How does that work.
>>24365802Margin of Success?
>>24365773You look the man in the eye. A simple answer will be best."Heading out to the old crossroad outpost to fix her up and open up a tavern. I'm the proprietor of the new establishment, Tallius Urist." The Paladin nods." That corroborates what the elf told us. There a reason you're traveling with two nonhumans, friend? I hope you know that the economic restrictions are still law, even this far north."He thinks for a moment, and seems to make a realization as his eyes widen." Wait, your accent, are you from the Capitol?"Shit.**********Accompany responses with Charisma rolls, four this time.
Rolled 50>>24365908Former merchant, turned tavern owner.
Rolled 87, 50, 68, 2 = 207>>24365908"Originally, sir, born and raised, but I thought there was money to be made in hospitality thios far out. After all, fortune in adventure, which means fortune in adventurers, so they need drinks, and I make drinks. Nothing more to it, lads. In fact, you drop by later, I give you a bit of a discount. Lawmen on the road need comfort, after all!"
Rolled 40>>24365908Yes, I was born there but it has been years since I've been back. Why do you ask?
Rolled 35>>24365908Former merchant, turned tavern owner.
Rolled 87>>24365908"Me? No. My father was though, I picked up the accent growing up and I've never quite managed to drop it."
Rolled 26>>24365908"Well, to be honest, I lived there a short while when I was younger, picked up a bit of the accent and people assume I've lived there all my life. Same problem with wives and kids."Here goes, clutching testes.
>>24365908My parents were from the capitol, I was born out here in this desolate wasteland.
>>24365767Have faith. I don't think Barkeep would do that.
>>24365966Disregard this, Captcha is fucking with me
Rolled 56Oh boy>>24365908Aye, but I haven't seen the city after my mother passed many years ago."
Rolled 93>>24365908"I was born there, haven't been back there for ages. Never could shake the accent."
Multiple dice in one post okay?
Rolled 12, 20, 29 = 61>>24365908>"Well, to be honest, I lived there a short while when I was younger, picked up a bit of the accent and people assume I've lived there all my life. Same problem with wives and kids.">Here goes, clutching testes.>>24365977Just realized, did you want 4 seperate rolls or 4 rolls each link? Here's 3 more if it's the latter.
>>24366013Pretty sure it's 4 separate rolls.
Rolled 45, 76, 96 = 217>>24365944>>24365963>>24365968>>24365977He seems to mull your story over in his head. You notice Sif has awakened beside you, Martellus is eyeing you with a worried expression, and Miaya is decidedly not making any attempt to turn towards the conversation
>>24366054i hope so because >>24366013Is a really shitty series
>>24366054Then I'm thoroughly confused on which ones are valid out of those first five posts.
Rolled 65>>24365908"As a matter of fact, yes. Well, sort of. I was born there, but Dad moved our whole family up north when I was still a lad. The damned accent came too *casual laugh*. You have no idea the kind of crap a city kid gets from the other kids up here." If he asks why the family moved north, dad wanted to open a tvern too, but there was too much competition in the city.
>>24366054Its one roll per post unless otherwise stated.
Rolled 26, 47, 57, 5 = 135>>24365908" I know the law, but quality help is hard to find these days, 'specially in these parts."Give her a funny look for the accent part and say, "Was born round those parts but I haven't been back for years and years. Didn't think I had much of an accent left." Then gesture at Martellus and say. "You wanna see a real accent check out that one. Never heard his before.">play it cool>re-direct their attention
>>24366086My bad, then. Sorry.
>>24366091CART SALESMAN.WE MUST RUIN HIM.(glad to have you on board!)
>>24366091We should say this.
Rolled 43, 10, 46, 88 = 187>>24365908Aye born and raised, but prices in the capital just keep going up and I couldn't afford to keep my business there. I decided to pick up stakes and try my luck in the North.
>>24366119However we should NOT take my rolls.>>24366118Interested in a cart, barman? I have a lovely luxury selection over here...
>>24366075"Me? No. My father was though, I picked up the accent growing up and I've never quite managed to drop it."He looks at you with closer scrutiny." Alright then. I believe you, friend, I really do, but I have orders. Step away from the cart and empty out your pockets."Sif looks worried now, you see her silently mouth something along the lines of "What's wrong?". Martellus remains silent, and you don't have the leisure to look back at Miaya, as the Paladin hefts his poleaxe before you in a ready stance.
Rolled 49>>24366181You all can ignore this entirely unimportant roll.
>>24366181Oh, shit. We have that dagger and signet ring on us.
>>24366181The dagger. Fuck. Slip her the dagger covertly, if you can!
>>24366207AND THE RING, SHITFUCK
>>24366181Okay, so we've got the concealed dagger and the signet ring, wait for a good chance when the Pally looks away and make sure those are stowed somewhere where he won't see then as we empty our pockets, either in a hidden pocket or concealed under something in the cart.
>>24366181Seriously, Barkeep, give us a small break, just a TINY one. We want to start being a tavern owner, at least...
>>24366221We can simply palm the ring and slip it down our sleeve, it's the dagger that's going to be hard.
>>24366181Slip her the dagger and ring or at least try to.
>>24366192Sorry I'm new here and it seems like you all done goofed. Tell me, is there any possibility of us fighting? And when I say fighting I mean "no survivors".
>>24366192NO WE CANNOT, CAN WE?
>>24366181Empty our pockets, but drop the daggers and blackjack along with the ring, into the mud, as if by accident. Apologize furiously and quickly start picking them up, stepping on the ring before she can notice.
>>24366181SLIP SIF THE DAMN DAGGER, CHUCK THE RING.
>>24366255Considering we're surrounded by people who only know us from our fake identity, that would still ruin our chances of opening our Tavern.And since this is Tavern quest...
>>24366255No, and if two paladins out looking for us go missing, that will just make more come to investigate anyway.
Attempting to palm the ring will require a Streetsmarts roll of one dice. You may alternatively leave it and hope the Paladin is not looking for rings. The dagger is against your back, reaching for it would likely be seen as attempting to draw a weapon, and is impossible with your current skill.
>>24366255We have little combat training and two guards.
Since when is having a weapon on yourself illegal? It's common sense, as for the ring, do they even know about the ring, if asked. It was meant for a lover, who you found loved another, so you're holding it till you yourself found another lover that loves only you or your mother.
>>24366278>>24366263>>24366248>>24366241>>24366225>>24366221>>24366215>>24366207We should just use the knife to cut a hole in our pocket and drop the knife and ring through it.
>>24366313No way we're risking a one dice roll to palm the ring.
>>24366313>Grab ring>Sneeze>cover mouth>swallow ring
>>24366318It's a senatorial signet ring, that will not fly at all.
>>24366318Its a Signet ring, very distinctive as to belonging to the guy who is wanted for whatever we did.
>>24366321can't draw it without threatening the paladin per>>24366313this anon>>24366318is quite right, don't freak out and give them cause to make more of it.
>>24366318The dagger and ring are likely described to these fucks by our cunting ex-wife. It is a dead fucking giveaway!
Well we did roll a 93 on our anal circumference...
>>24366340We could play it off as if we were reaching into our pockets then we had to sneeze, pretending not to have grabbed anything, but in reality having had grabbed the ring. Then we eat it.
Rolled 76>>24366313I say we try to palm the ring. These are trained paladins, not some mook guards from the boonies. They're unlikely to overlook such a distinctive piece of swag.
>>24366381Please, give us a break, Barkeep. We need to get to our tavern...
>>24366313Okay, so we empty our "pockets" and since our dagger is not in our pocket we will just have to hope and pray he doesn't find it. Maybe turn our ring around.
Rolled 50>>24366181"Empty my pockets? What have I done but walk on a road? Search my cart for illegal goods if you must but this is bordering on brigandry!
>>24366396Just use this>>24366447or this.
>>24366447Okay, I say lets go with this. Talking our way out of a situation is our strong point and we should use that.
Rolled 5>>24366447TALK THEM OUT OF IT.
Rolled 78>>24366447Say this.
>>24366396>>24366447"Empty my pockets? What have I done but walk on a road? Search my cart for illegal goods if you must but this is bordering on brigandry!You whelp like a mud-covered commoner as you descend from the cart, attempting all the while to palm the ring as your back is turned to the Paladin." Silence. We have the Lady Protector's authority here, take it up with the Senate is you have a problem. I don't enjoy this, I assure you, but we're looking for someone."You place your Crossbow on the ground, along with your bolts. Your coinpouch follows, still clinking with its considerable contents. Your two iron daggers follow.He indicates for you to continue. No tricking this one, it seems.And then, the item you've sought to avoid. You wonder if, when the time comes, she will do it herself. At least you'd be able to see her again, maybe apologize for not being a better husband, a better friend, hell, for not being a better politician. You suppose this was a silly dream anyway. A Tavern? What a fucking joke. Your father will laugh when he finds out, and likely not stop until after your funeral. Truly, Tallius Urist was a dead man before he had even been born. You reach to the small of your back...
Rolled 2>>24366614I don't think I've ever prayed for bandits before, but theres a time for everything. I pray for bandits. A fuckton of them.
>>24366614[Update Now][Update Now][Update Now][Update Now][Update Now]Only faggots F5
>>24366655I will join you.
>>24366655How about a mid level demon or two instead?
>>24366614I bet Miaya took the dagger while our back was to her and away from the paladins.
>>24366667missed it by one
>>24366614... and grasp nothing. You suppress a gasp of incredulity as the space where Father's dagger had been is quickly filled by your searching hand. The ring is safely in your palm, and the Paladin has not noticed.You are astounded, elated, confused. This is the strangest mix of emotions you have ever felt.The Paladin looks through your belongings after dismounting, obviously seeking some sort of inscription or tell-tale marks. He grunts after placing all your coins back within your pouch, the last leg of his search." Everything seems to be in order. I apologize for the inconvenience friend, but these are dangerous times. Good luck with your business."You nod your understanding of his words as he remounts, calling his patrol together, and they proceed away from the convoy, having given everything a satisfactory once over.You climb back aboard the cart as Santher begins leading the convoy forward again, feeling light headed." Boss, you're kind of fucking pale, what was that asshole on you about?" Sif is direct as ever.Martellus looks curious as well, but says only that he's glad the Paladins have left." Somewhat Arrogant sorts in my experience, the less we deal with their type the better. They tip awfully as well."Miaya says nothing . She's watching them leave.You suspect you have an hour left until reaching the outpost. If you have anything to say, now's the last chance to do so before arriving.
>>24366789...friends, I have something to tell all of you... ...it's about why I wanted to start a tavern...
>>24366789Slip closer to Sif. "Regrets rear their heads at the worst of times." to her, privately. "No worries, though."
>>24366829This. Not this>>24366827Its too early for that.
>>24366827That seems a sort of bad idea right now
>>24366829>Calling back to last nightI approve.
>>24366829We'll tell them in good time, for now this.
>>24366827Not yet. We will let them know once we know they can be trusted with our lives, which is what telling them will amount to.
>>24366827Bad idea.>>24366829This I can get behind though and maybe "Now that that's over lets get a move on" Also, make a note to ask Miaya if she has seen a dagger we are missing.
>>24366827Bad idea bad idea! Mixed company of brigands guarding us. We will share this with a select few. Just rest, that was a rough turn and thank the gods we made it.
>>24366829I can back this
Rolled 10>>24366829Oh yeah this.
>>24366829I back this.
>>24366789Fucking called it, we need to talk to Miaya afterwards, certain she has the dagger right now is is likely a bit confused, let her hold onto it. Obviously she is curious but not overtly angry, lets just get the show on the road again.
>>24366829This seems like the best thing to do right now.
>That feeling when unanimous agreement to your suggestion
>>24367045You are a gentleman and a scholar
>>24366829You slip a little closer to Sif as you get underway, and speak to her softly."Regrets rear their heads at the worst of times. It's not an issue just now."She looks at you, understanding dawning in the one eye you can see through her hair. Instead of pushing you for more, she simply smiles, closes her eyes, and returns to sleep within moments.Martellus has his eyes on the road, but he's smiling happily, you have no idea why, but the sight makes you happy for the big brewer. He doesn't smile enough.You turn back to look at Miaya, surely the patrol has passed. It has, and she is staring right at you. Her big eyes have a serious look, the eccentricity you were becoming used to nowhere to be seen. Miaya shakes her head slightly, before turning her attention to the passing landscape. You decide you will have to deal with whatever that was about at a later time.The hour passes quickly, mostly in pleasant silence. No one seems to be in the mood for conversation, but there is hardly any tension, except maybe from Miaya's end, but even there you can't be sure. The elven woman is inscrutable.The crossroads outpost. At last, you're back, and it's time to get to work. The cart carrying Martellus' equipment has already arrived, and the men he has hired are removing the items from the heavy cart. Santher's carts stop as well, his workers gathering together and brandishing their tools and materials.Sif is awake, and has a look of awe in her eyes as she takes in the old watchtower to the left of the barracks. Martellus seems amused." Interesting choice, Tallius, if non-traditional. Though I think it's particularity may give us an edge. This will certainly be an interesting place to live and work."Miaya steps of the cart, unslinging her bow and placing her quiver on her back."Tallius. I am going hunting, we will need to eat tonight. Expect me back before midnight"Before you can protest or comment, she runs off into the woods. (cont.)
>>24367329We need to ask Sif for some bouncer/swordsmanship lessons. How about that, guys?
>>24367329Well we know who we are talking to tonight.
>>24367460Sif again?Hoping for an eventual romance subplot...
Rolled 30>>24367386Why don't we bring the caravan guards we with us on full time as our bouncers, or at lest the one with the daggers.
>>24367484> You decide you will have to deal with whatever that was about at a later time.Was talking about Miaya of course. Ask her about that dagger of ours.
>>24367329You can already see your cook is going to be difficult. Oh well, you have trouble managing to be concerned, at least you don't have a poleaxe through your neck.Santher walks towards you as his men are gathering." This is going to take us the better part of two days, looking at the floor plan. I know you want a bar and tables, along with sleeping arrangements upstairs and a sort of grand bedroom for yourself or honored guests. Anything specific you want us to take care of? We likely have the materials, provided your demands are reasonable."The current plan is the have central seating in the lower floor of the barracks building, making it the tavern proper. A long bar would be put on one said, the other wall to have booth seating. Upstairs there are six bunkrooms to be converted into rentable rooms, along with a single larger room which will be a suite of some sort, for either you or a valued customer.There is a small stable outside, in decent shape, large enough for two carts or four horses.The tower is large enough to fit Martellus' equipment inside it's base, while the upstairs is still a mystery until Santher repairs the spiral stairs.
>>24367537I know, I know... I can dream, though...
>>24367550Ask Santher if he has a rope, then tie a chair to it and use it as a grappeling hook.
>>24367550>>24367598Yes, asking our new employees what they think would be a start. Ask him what it would take to enhance the stable.
How about a place to display art pieces? That could be another way to draw people to the bar.
>>24367598You look at your employees." Anything you want for your rooms?"Martellus thinks for a moment." I am a man of simple tastes, Master Tallius. A bookcase and desk are all I require."Santher says that is a simple matter.Sif thinks for a moment, and then starts hopping up and down a little." Oh, boss, could I get a dummy to fuck up? You know, like the prizefighters in the capitol? I need somewhere to vent, and its better there than on the customers, right?"You rapidly nod.Santher is bemused, you think he considers it below him, but says he could cook something up that would serve her purposes.No one knows what Miaya wants, as the elf has yet to return from the woods, it has been almost half an hour.The stable's capacity can be easily doubled with what is on hand, more would require new materials and a separate cost.
Is there a kitchen of some sort Miaya can use? She'll need one to actually do her job.
>>24367813The least we can do is get some paints maybe for her. Maybe try to get some more canvases.
>>24367871Ah yes, they are adding to the attached storeroom, making it into a kitchen that comes into the main room next to the bar.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/24361326/Archived because bump limit.
>>24367813Try to open up the tower first, then we can decide if we want to double the stable's capacity.
Double the stable and I can't think of anything else. Going to have to wait to see what in the tower.
>>24367986We need to improve the places looks overall, and we need a sign, a big one.
>>24368049Santher is capable of making many types of signs, do you have one in mind?
>>24368049Yes! How could we have forgotten? We need a sign for our tavern.
>>24367813>>Elf who likely knows our identity AWOL.Maybe we should take care of this little problem soon?Oh and might we consider building some escape routes into the tavern? In case we need to institute operation fuck everything again?
>>24368077>Barkeep is Kotomine KireiIt all makes sense now.Shall we go with the standard "Sign hanging above the door"? We can pick the exact name latter.
>>24368133You certainly do not need to decide on the name just now, Santher needs to carve out the name.
>>24368077Hey, Valkyrian Mercedes is cool but write your own quest!
>>24368151Sign above the door for now. Later we get a bigger one and mount it on the tower. How can he improve just the general looks? How bad is this place looking right now? Fire place? Chimney? Is the front all fucked up or does it have a nice weather look?
>>24368159I am, thanks. You guys need to decide what to do before I can go on.If you want, we can timeskip by sleeping to when Santher finishes repairing the stairs. That would be the next day, and work would be 50% done on the whole. If there is anything else you want to do, say so. If not, head to sleep for the night.
>>24368203Well, getting a hold of Miaya as soon as possible is good. Having an employee not trust us will only lead to trouble.
>>24368203I like the name "The Cross Roads Tavern" myself, but I think we are done for now with the only thing we need to do. Confront our cook after diner.
We could try exploring the surrounding woods while they work. That would eat up some time.
>>24368257Well, she's still off in the woods, and it's nightfall. You're no woodsman.
>>24368299Sleep it is then.
im proposing we call the tavern "the last chance" in reference to it being the last stop you can get a good bed to sleep in and decent ale before you head off to near certain death and glorious treasure.
>>24368551Should we be thinking about designing some specialty dishes? Some thing with some spices?
>>24368551I do like the sound of "The last chance">>24368299And lets sleep on this issue.
Miaya doesn't return before you all decide to simply have some travel food for dinner. Sif complains loudly." Ah man, we bought all that shit, and we're still here eating biscuits."Martellus rolls his eyes." Sif. We need a cook and a kitchen for most of those items, we have either. It's only one more day, I believe you will survive."She "Hmphs" and returns to eating silently. Santher's men stop working as the hour draws late, and there is little reason to remain awake. They tell you the interior is still a mess, so you break out some blankets and decide to make it a night outside. Its been another long day, so you are asleep before too long.Unfortunately, your sleep is not as peaceful as it usually is.You wake, gods know when, with cold steel pressed to your throat." Tell me, Tallius, how does a commoner like you end up with the knife of Nero Sertorius, "Hero" of the Sylvan suppression?"The voice is familiar, its tone, cold as death, is not.Ah yes, Father's knife. You suppose it did have to go somewhere.Double shit.
Rolled 83>>24368673I... uh.... found it.....
Rolled 19>>24368673"A good question.I have an answer if you'll get that knife off my throat."No reason to panic yet. She's simply asking for an explanation.
>>24368673Well, I see I have some explaining to do. I was hoping to hold this off until I knew everyone better....
>>24368673I don't think we are going to get out of this one."I have an answer, but I would rather we do this somewhere else. You can take anything I have on me if it makes you feel secure.
>>24368739NOPENOPENOPENOPE. We don't even buy that story and we're us.>>24368748Sounds like a start.
Rolled 12>>24368673Through gritted teeth we say "I AM Nero Sertorius you dimwit. If you have not figured that out yet I somehow doubt you will be going places in the world"
>>24368964But... we're not... and I don't think that masquerading as our father will do wonders here...
>>24368964Nero was our father, not us.
>>24368748"A good question. I have an answer if you'll get that knife off my throat."The knife promptly leaves your throat. And then the hilt slams into the base of your neck, and you vision goes black once again.You come to not long after, by your estimation, but you are in the woods now. No chance of waking the others, it may as well be pitch black." I am listening, Tallius. You do not strike me as the kind of man who deserves to have his throat slit in the mud, so you are still alive. Do not waste the opportunity."You can see Miaya in front of you, Father's knife glinting in the moon light as she holds it's point towards you. Her eyes are the most visible part of her, a brilliant green despite the lack of light, whether that is an illusion or some racial trait, you cannot say.
>>24368992oops, name got mixed up, did not read that fully. Ignore the ork
>>24369015I'm gonna go with explain everything. Whatever that is.
>>24369051The short version is that we're a pretty shitty person. We might want to go with truth lite. All the truth you know and love, none of the horrible consequences.
>>24369015Clarification: Is our father Nero, or is that us?
>>24369080Shitty husband, certainly. The scandal itself has not been elaborated on, only that it was enough to make you marked man and turn your wife into the first person in line to end you.
>>24369015"And you seem to be one who doesn't want hear any bullshit, so I won't give any." *Straighten your self up* *Truth*She seems to be the kind to tell if your lying, so no since getting ourselves killed.
>>24369112It is Father's knife, therefore Nero Sertorius is your father.
>>24369015Explain everything. From who we are to why we are here and how those paladins where looking for us. I don't think there is room to be light on the truth here. >>24369112Our father as that is Father's dagger.
>>24369015"Well, I stole it off the crotchety old bastard, didn't I? Do I look like Nero Sertorius, Exalted Hero of the Protectorate and aspiring innkeeper to you? I'm far too young and attractive!"Humor is our coping mechanism. And if she call us on it, we haven't actually lied yet...
>>24369015"the reason i have that knife is that it is my knife, now i would appreciate it if you didn't stab me with it... please."
>>24369135Maybe add that the dagger and our ring are the only things we have left from that life.
>>24369132In that case I vote we explain our relation to the man, and how he seems to dislike us enough to laugh at our downfall. That ought to make her relax.
>>24369129Yup. As far as those who will know go, she's among the top.
Votes for and against the truth linked here, please.
>>24369242Tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
>>24369242Voting for truth about relation to the man.
>>24369242No use lying.
>>24369242Delay the truth, don't actually lie but try to keep the details to a minimum unless she calls us on it directly.
>>24369242For the truth
If we're so keen on not being identified, why do we have two items that nobody else but us would have? We should ditch those things at some point.
>>24369242Gots ta be's da truthiest!
The, truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help me god.>>24369242
>>24369242truth of the matter seems like the only real option.>>24369278perhaps, but they hold sentimental value....
>>24369321Wouldn't remembering that past make us more bitter than anything? Its only remnant that we ever care to think of is trying to have us executed or something. I'd rather not have keepsakes of my homicidal ex which happen to make it easier for her to find and kill me if I were our character.
>>24369381How about they are very identifiable objects and leaving them anywhere would create a clear trail to investigate our whereabouts.
>>24369381>>24369424At some point if we ever want to clear our name or call in old favors we'll need them. But for fucks sake can we stop carrying -both- on our person?
>>24369452How about putting them in a locked chest?
>>24369469I'd say bury them somewhere behind the tavern.Or maybe in the stable.
>>24369541Better yet, why not somewhere farther out in the woods. The farther it is away from us, the better if you ask me
>>24369015"a parting gift from a long dead fool"
>>24369242Well, it's time. She knows your father by deed, and lying to her will likely end with you as a corpse. You resolve to impart the truth." Tallius Urist was born less than half a year ago. Before that day, I was known as Senator Marcus Sertorius, and I had a life, a family. Now, I have only people who want me dead. Nero Sertorius, the man you hate so much, is my father. And I know he would see me dead and laugh before speaking to me again. I am hunted. I am sure you heard what they call me: traitor, deviant, a pathetic failure who attempted to find refuge in audacity. Maybe those are true, maybe not. But I can tell you one thing, Marcus Sertorius died the day I last saw my wife and she tried to kill me. That is not my name now."You look into her eyes, and grab her wrist with your right hand. That could well have been the end of you, but you're feeling dramatic." So drive that damned knife into my heart, murder me and leave me to rot, but know that you have killed Tallius Urist, and the only thing he wanted was to open a damn Tavern."You stay there a moment, breathing heavily, staring death in the face for the second time in a day. Finally, Miaya pulls free of your grasp, and hands the knife back to you, grip first." Tallius Urist. Very well, I do not know who this Marcus man is, but know that if I ever see him, I will be the one to put a knife in his heart."Her sincerity is absolute, you can see it in those eyes of hers.Her head cocks to the side. The habits presence is a surprising comfort." Now then, you need your sleep. We have a Tavern to open, no?"
>>24369665>" So drive that damned knife into my heart, murder me and leave me to rot, but know that you have killed Tallius Urist, and the only thing he wanted was to open a damn Tavern."*Claps*
>>24369665You have done Crassus proud OP.Anyway let's hit our cot and get to work.
>>24369665Time to get back to sleep then. Maybe thank her for not stabbing us.
>>24369833"No death? No? Okay, have a happy dream!"
>>24369833My vote is to never mention this again. Starting now.
>>24369916>>24369932We slept all night.
>>24369665The next day dawns, and you end up sleeping in. Miaya must have told the others not to wake you, as it's almost noon before they finally decide to rouse you. Santher had finished the stonework on the spiral stairs, and has called you to come see." What's this about, Santher?"The elf is sweating from his work, you can tell he puts in with his employees, which you respect." I could describe it, but I think you won't believe me. Follow me."He leads you into the tower, which looks much better than you remember, the roof is almost completely repaired, and the new stairs are sturdy. You see Martellus' brewery set up in the tower base, the man will be pleased.All of that is pushed out of your mind as you reach the top of the tower." Santher, is that-"" Yes Tallius, it is. And I don't think it's dead."You are no expert, but some elements of your education covered this. Before you, standing vigil like a metal statue, is an intact Clockwork Automata. It is in the rough shape of a man, with large three fingered hands and a strange lens of sorts mounted at the end of a cylindrical appendage serving for a head.This isn't a mankiller, at least not primarily." Holy shit."You hear a yell from downstairs."Santher! We're about done down here, just doing the finish work on the stable. Tell that Tallius that if he wants a name on the sign, now's the time!
>>24370021Robot server?ROBOT SERVER.
>>24370021The timing is too impeccable. The name has to have something to do with our new clockwork. The Tin Man Tavern?
>>24370084Oooh, I like it.
>>24370021Looks like we lucked out on finding a janitor.
>>24370044That's not the kind of thing you want walking around other people. Robot laborer more likely.
>>24370084The Clock Tower?
>>24370021What type of room is it in? Is it just an empty room at the top with just this?Also, how rare/valuable/dangerous is this thing anyway?
>>24370084THIS, SO MUCH THIS! This is the best name thusfar.
>>24370021>>24370114I like this
>>24370115It's circular and empty besides the Automata, but it's large enough to accommodate a decently sized bedroom. You imagine that you could charge more for the view.
>>24370115As for value, you have no idea, the only Automata you've heard of that are not mindless hunter-killers are the ones that the richest of the rich in the capitol use as manservants.
>>24370170>You imagine that you could charge more for the view.Well, good to know Tallius's priorities are straight.
>>24370198>Richest of the rich>ManservantsWell, let's keep it up here, renovate the room as a super master suite, robot service and view part of the charge.
>>24370114...I LIKE IT!
>>24370235Can we have him call everyone Wesley?
Taking votes on name. Crossed Lady was one that stuck out in the past, if I recall. I see Clock Tower, The Tin Man Tavern, and others. Please vote with posts linked to this.
>>24370235First we have to make sure it can move.
>>24370292Tin Man Tavern's got the best ring to it. This thing is apparently a huge deal and it will serve as a huge advertising pull.
>>24370170Voting for Clock Tower.
>>24370292Tin Man Tavern
>>24370292Clock Tower sounds good.
>>24370292Tin Man Tavern.
>>24370292Crossed Lady because our wife is a bitch
>>24370292liked crossed lady but i'll concede to clock tower
>>24370292Imma vote for Tin Man Tavern. There's just a way it rolls off the tongue
I'm very worried about the possibility of us becoming a very popular tavern...so popular that a certain noblewoman might catch wind of it. I'd say we should prepare in advance for the possibility of encountering her or having our tavern become more popular and attract undue attention.
>>24370292how about The Clock Tavern?
>>24370292Calling for Clock Tower, it was a tie, then I noticed Senechal linked to the wrong post.
>>24370437nice ring to it, otherwise Clock Tower
>>24370292Tin Man Tavern!Glad you guys liked my name haha
>>24370292Crossed LadyAs for what we do with the automaton, I'd say we should put off plans for a bit until we know its capabilities. It would be impractical to use it as a servant when it could be a guardian of some sort.
>>24370292Tin man tavern
>>24370457" We'll deal with this contraption later, Santher, pay it no mind. For now, have your men carve "Clock Tower" into the sign. Seems inspiration was in the highest place, this time."The elf nods." On it."He yells down to his men about the name, and you soon hear the telling sounds of wood being shaved from the sign.You step outside, to find Sif and Martellus waiting. You spy Miaya returning from another hunt, a doe over her back. She nods solemnly, and you return the sentiment." So, Boss, Clock Tower? Sounds good. What was in the room at the top?"Martellus crosses his arms." Some may think us a mage school rather than a Tavern, but it is certainly distinctive. What did you find, Santher was very energetic about it."You suppose it couldn't hurt to tell them, so you do. As you explain about the Automata, you look over the crossroads, no, the Clock Tower Tavern. The barracks looks positively homely now, fresh paint everywhere, new windows giving it's two story structure an appealing look. The sign is finished, and being lifted into place over the door. You notice Santher's men helping bring in the kitchenware and utensils, they must even be done with the interior.You want to scream your joy to the heavens. You've done it. A Tavern. You have a damned Tavern.Sif and Martellus are beside you, both smiling. Sif looking more like she might burst from excitement, while Martellus is grinning slightly, which you suppose is equal considering who is involved.Even Miaya looks pleased, butchering the doe out of muscle memory as she watches the sign go up.Now, it's time to celebrate. Anything in particular you want to do?
We'll have to call something else the crossed lady, I love that name. Maybe a horse or something.
>>24370724The most obvious thing to do is to share the first round ever for the bar free to everyone there.
>>24370841"First round's on the house."Brilliant.
>>24370724"Gather round friends, first rounds on me"
>>24370724>>Some may think us a mage school rather than a TavernI have no idea what you're on about.
>>24370725I was thinking the cart
>>24370724Just as Santher's men finish securing the sign, you call out to everyone who can hear."Gather round friends, first rounds on me"A cheer the likes of which you imagine only a general would normally hear rises from the small horde of workers, and they flood inside.Sif, laughing, more or less picks you up and she and Martellus rush inside to meet the coming demand. Your feet do not again touch the ground until all three of you are behind the bar, Sif sliding mugs towards the thirsty men just as Martellus manages to fill them, drawing from one of the kegs he brought from Gearwatch. The sounds of drinking and merriment fill your hall, and your chest swells with pride. You don't see Miaya though, which worries you.Worry turns out to be premature, as she walks in the door, apron donned, an begins placing fresh cooked venison skewers before everyone in attendance. Another cheer follows.You lean against the wall behind the bar, and catch Sif's eyes as she walks by, having served everyone and only spilling one mug, excellent for her. She stops, smiling, and joins you against the wall." Where are your regrets now, Tallius?"Far away, you think, in another life. At least for now." What regrets?"As she laughs, grabbing your arm for support as she is rocked by it, and you decide maybe this life will be better on the second attempt. You're off to a great start.***********Ladies and gentlemen, it has been my immeasurable pleasure to bring you Tavern Quest tonight. Please remember to upvote the archive, and feel free to tune in every Saturday at 5 eastern.Don't do anything Tallius wouldn't, and have a great week!
>>24371145Great quest, Barkeep. Looking forward to next week.
>>24371145>" Where are your regrets now, Tallius?">>Far away, you think, in another life. At least for now.>>" What regrets?"
>>24371145Barkeep, do yourself a favour and pick up Going Postal and Making Money by Terry Pratchett.
I'm guessing the scandal was cheating on your wife with an Elf.
>>24371251>Dad had a hateboner for Elves that could block out the sun, apparently>Tensions in the marriage high>Elf-sexualism seems to be tabooyeah, I'm thinking this.
>>24371145'til next week, hopefully I can make it at the start.