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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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You are a Magical Girl, and you're en route to talk to a certain colleague of yours. A certain colleague that you haven't really been in good terms with, as far back as you can remember. You haven't been keeping score, but you're pretty sure she's tried to kill you as many times as you've tried to kill her. It's only because of the disapproval of a few mutual acquaintances and an ever-decreasing amount of self-restraint that the both of you haven't made pincushions out of each other's kidneys, or splattered watermelons out of each other's faces.

The reason you're coming over, of course, is to try and convince her that it's a good idea for her - and her girlfriend - to become one of your personal flunkies. Aides to the Warmaster, or something like that. Granted, you're not at all that hot with the idea of having the Berserk Blueberry Bitch within stabbing distance of your back, but you do recognize the fact that as long as she's within sword length of your squishy bits, no one else will be.

It's still a bit of a drive before you get there, though. Which gives you enough time to attend to someone you've been meaning to get in touch with for a while. Specifically, Minase Iori, popular idol and a past client. Things are...relatively complicated between the both of you, and you didn't exactly handle things well with her before you left for Siberia.

You've already dialed her phone number on your smartphone. All you need to do to initiate the call is to press the big green button that says 'Dial'.

. . .

Well, it's not like you've got a knack for good ideas or anything.

You press the button, and hold the phone up to your ear. You grumble for Kyoko to keep quiet, and she nods at you from the rear view mirror.
>>24524816 (OP)

Iori's phone rings once, twice. She picks up halfway on the third ring, her voice hesitant and alert despite it being really late at night. It's pretty much nearly morning.

"H-hello? Chiaki-san, is...is that you?"

You find yourself unable to speak for a moment, and you look out the car window, wishing desperately for a cigarette. You mime the act of smoking at Kyoko, and she takes out a pack of cheap ones from the glove compartment and tosses it your way. You nod at the Eversor in thanks, and grumble into the phone that it is, indeed, you calling her. You're sorry if she was expecting anyone else.

"N-no, that's...it's fine, Chiaki-san. I'm...I was waiting for you to call. I've been waiting since I heard about you getting back." A moment's pause. "I, I may have overdone it a bit, trying to contact you earlier. It...it must have been annoying, isn't it?" She giggles here, nervously. "I...I'm just glad you're back here. I...missed you."

You manage to fish out your old lighter from your inventory, and after a few taps, you get it to light up. The cigarette between your lips is lit a moment after that, and you take a long, heavy, soothing drag.

It tastes like absolute shit, this brand, but it's enough to calm your nerves.

"Chiaki-san...?" Iori's voice comes over a bit...strained. You could tell she's been crying for a bit.

How do you respond?
Hey there decu!

welcome back Just give people a few moments to re-orrient themselves in the storyline and i'm sure it'll pick up.
Well, here I am. Let's hear the reason for those 30 calls.
"I missed you too."
>It's been a while. Are you alright?
"Yeah, you over did it a bit I say ... so how can I help you this night ... or is morning?"
Pretend to be a sane humanoid and converse as normally as we're capable of.

"I'm back in town, and I've been promoted a bit. What've you been up to?"

"It's getting really late. You're not doing yourself any favours staying up like this.

Why not i drop by tomorrow for breakfast. We can talk more then. "

Tomorrow should be too rush and we should have time for a breakfast with her then.
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"Iori... I... I suppose you heard about what happened to me. Those things happen to me a lot.
How are things in the Lovelace Mansion? Are they treating you well? Have you heard from your idol friends?"

Lets not go into the deep stuff yet.
Sorry I left this so long, I've been a bit busy and never really been that good with people to start with
has the mansion been safe? No more intrusions or attacks?
"So...how's things? Been keeping busy?"

Try to keep that spaghetti in check
This one >>24524930
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The longer you hold back the spaghetti, the worse it'll be when it comes out.

On that note, let's pasta everything right off the bat. Then, there'll be nowhere to go but up!
>"Iori... I... I suppose you heard about what happened to me. Those things happen to me a lot."

Somehow I very much doubt that even Mami would tell some Outsider about Meguca business. Especially Meguca Business in a hidden base in Siberia.

I like this one. its neutral. its spaghetti. And its without any things a lovestruck girl could read too much into like with the tardlord who suggested "I missed you too."
"Yeah, work's kept me busy. Still is, too. Just warning you right now, I might get pulled away, this is pretty important."
"Perhaps we could arrange some time to meet up and talk face to face?"

Meeting for breakfast sounds like a good idea.

If we're gonna let her down again, the things we say will lose some of its impact if she doesnt see the physical changes that chiaki has undergone.
I really can't think of anything good to say.

Mumble something about getting promoted at work (no more than that or it'll sound like an excuse) and then something like "You wanted to talk?"

Completely non-committal and it puts the conversation on her end again.
I don't think we should float the idea of meeting her for breakfast just yet.
She'll jump on it, and we should keep her at arm's distance until she calms down.
Let her talk. We are better at listenin anyway.
Agreed there

Just because we area but better now doesn't mean we in any way can actually handle human interactions like girly emotions, we need more practice at that
Agreed. Plus we don't even know (or at least I don't recall it being said) what's going to be happening in the morning. Nothing like making plans to cancel them nearly in eight hour span.
The girl's going to be frantic, no need for her to bad-end herself.

She's going to jump on anything, so it's better to give her something with a set date to jump on.

Set it for two or three days time, and it should be fine.
I second this. Let's see where she wants to take this conversation without committing ourselves to anything
I wonder if Iori has a whole speech planned where she mocks us/tries to get back together with us.

Unlike now when she just called like 30 odd times, is still awake and has been crying?

Folks tend to resist such things. She'll be more likely to get even more frantic in trying to get close to Chiaki.

We give her something to focus on and by letting her get a little closer, she's more likely to calm down abit more.
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You murmur out your reply after taking another drag, blowing the smoke out the car window, watching the gray plumes get twisted away into nothing by the wind. Iori takes a few moments to respond herself - and while she sounds just as hesitant as ever, it sounds like she's heartened a bit by you not being your grumbling self. You thought about telling her off for miscalling you thirty times, but she probably doesn't need it.

"I...things are fine, Chiaki-san. The few weeks you were away wasn't all that bad. Mami-san and Sayaka-san kept me company throughout - Sayaka-san mostly, since Mami-san seemed to have a lot of meetings these last few days." She pauses here, as if trying to desperately think of something to add. "Sayaka-san even frees up her schedule just to come with me whenever I'm out shopping or conducting radio interviews, too. She's very kind and considerate, which was surprising considering we didn't...really have a good first impression of each other."

Really? Well. That's very surprising.

"Mm, it is! I rather thought she'd be all hard-edged and everything, but she turned out to be very nice after a while. I think it's because that she can be gruff at times, but that's only because she's really practical, and...and...w-well, um. I'm sorry if I'm rambling a bit, there isn't really much to tell, really, Chiaki-san." You get the hint that she's hiding something, but at the same time, she can't help herself from talking. "After that dreadful business...with Kilgore, nothing else untoward has happened."

It's fine, you tell her, using the now-spent cigarette to light a fresh one, and flicking the former out the window. You'd be hard-pressed to talk about what happened to you in Siberia if she asked, anyway, simply for the fact that most of it is probably classified.

How do you proceed?

[]Ask about Garcia.
[]Ask about her idol friends.
[]Set up a face-to-face meeting in the near future, and end the call. No use dragging this out over the phone.

>[]Set up a face-to-face meeting in the near future, and end the call. No use dragging this out over the phone.

Tell her to get some rest. Idols need to look after their bodies better.
>[]Set up a face-to-face meeting in the near future, and end the call. No use dragging this out over the phone.
So Blueberry was nice to her. Cute. Another reason to try and aim for Blueberry's knees/shoulders when inevitably forced to shoot her.
[]Ask about Garcia.
>[]Ask about her idol friends.

>[]Ask about her idol friends.
>[]Set up a face-to-face meeting in the near future, and end the call. No use dragging this out over the phone.

Not touching that landmine for now.

Ask about her recovering friends and setup a face to face.

While I would love to end the call here and meet up at some later point, that'll come off rude as hell if it happens to soon.

Ask her about her idols friends. They did get hurt while we were on the job and it's neutral.


Sayaka's nice to everyone but us. She made Big Pete for Misaka and gets stuff for Yuma even though Culexus make her physically ill.
ask about her friends and afterwards tell her to get some sleep because she sound like she could seriously need it
[]Ask about her idol friends

If we ask for a meeting now, she'll take it as a date, which we want to avoid.

Sounds about right.
She blew it where it mattered the most, we're the MC with the Golden collection.
[x]Ask about her idol friends.

Supporting this. Mention what we are going to meet someone who hates us.
I'll forth this right here.

Mentioning we're on our way to a work related meeting would be good without necessarily including that it's someone that hates our guts.
Nah, not someone who hates us.
Just that we're meeting with someone in our office for an important meeting about a high-level personnel transfer.
[x]Set up a face-to-face meeting in the near future, and end the call. No use dragging this out over the phone.

Three days time, breakfast.

We can clear our schedule for it.
That sounds best.
Ask about her friends
Set up a tentative date to meet up
Do not call it a date.

Even if such a thing is technically the correct word, do not ever mention the word "Date"/
>[X] Set up a face to face later.

"Get some sleep, kid. You sound like hell."
Pancakes and MGNQ - breakfast of champions!
>Mami-san seemed to have a lot of meetings these last few days

Definitely use this when we end the conversation
Mami has had a lot of "Meetings" with "People" these days.

That is, Mami is having lots of "sex" with her "New Boyfriend(s)" these days.
...It still sounds like Euphemisms for Something golden-gun related.
It could just be Mami taking up the slack from us being away, as well as her getting the Officio prepared in case the other Officio's decide that the Tenth needs a new Incubator.
No, she finally relented to Kharn

Or the plan on whatdo if Chiaki witches out.

Remember what armoured chiaki went through?

This makes a scary amount of sense.
>whatdo if Chiaki witches out
1. Run away.
2. See 1.
She's a big girl; she can fuck whomever she wants. Even Pinkywith a dick
Did armoured Chiaki really witch out/ I thought our witch form was Homulily.
I think she would have pulled a Kharn
Witched out then by sheer force of "FUCK YOU" came back

What happened in armoured chiaki timeline
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"Oh, Chihaya and Takane, you mean...? Iori's voice sounds a bit more normal now, as if sounding relieved that you didn't pick up on her tone. "Ah, they're alright, Chiaki-san. In fact, they've been busy at work a few days after the incident. Chihaya-chan has always been a hard worker, and Takane-san even more so. Makoto-san, one of our friends, is still resting up, though...but she'll be recording another CM next week, so there's that."

Hnh. Well, that's a good thing, you suppose. You didn't see much of her friends, but they seemed to be alright, for idols.

"Kyuubey-san told me that I'll be able to work properly after a week or so, too. It seems that he's just waiting for a few more days for the dust to really settle. ...Our producer's told me that I'll have a comeback concert after that. I...I hope I can still do it, it feels like it's been ages since I actually performed in front of an audience!" She giggles here again, a bit less strained and forced than before, but still nervous.

She'll...she'll do fine, you hear yourself say after a few moments of awkward silence. She's an idol. Idols can do anything.

"H-hee. We're...well, we're not Magical Girls, Chiaki-san, but I'm glad you think so." Iori giggles again, and this time she sounds like she means it. "I...I wish I could do more than just perform, though, sometimes..."

You consider the glowing end of your cigarette briefly, before reminding her to be careful with her words. Wishes are nothing but trouble. She should be satisfied where she is, right now.

"...I haven't forgotten, Chiaki-san. I promise I haven't." Her voice still sounds...happy, even after this mild scolding.

>>Did armoured Chiaki really witch out/ I thought our witch form was Homulily.

Not sure if our Witch form is still Homulily or not, given that Chiaki has had entirely different experiences and traumas from Homura.

But Armored Chiaki sorta witched out, I suppose. Close enough that after slaughtering the entire Siberia base, she was deemed a big enough threat to warrant moving out the entire Ninth Officio.

Sadly, that wasn't enough.

Right. Well. Erm.

You tell her that you don't really have time to talk now, but...you would like to meet with her soon. For coffee. Just to talk, and...and stuff. It's not a date, just meeting for coffee.

"Oh? W-well, sure! I'll be free the entire week, Chiaki-san, so...when would you like to have coffee together?"

You can almost hear her smile, here. In the driver's seat, you could hear Kyoko sniggering.

When do you want the meeting to take place?

[]The day after tomorrow.
[]Maybe this isn't such a good idea...
>[]The day after tomorrow.
[x]The day after tomorrow.
We'll probably be busy with warmaster shit tomorrow.
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To be honest, I wonder what actually happened with armoured chiaki. How did the procedure failing suddenly turn her into an armoured killing machine?

Was the connection wired the wrong way and Chiaki ended up absorbing the witch that appears at Walpurgisnacht?
I feel like one of these choices is going to be a landmine...

[x] The day after tommorrow.

I hope Midori doesn't get green with envy
>[]The day after tomorrow.

Tomorrow for sleep, we fukken need it.

>[x]The day after tomorrow.

"I've just been promoted and I will need to sort out a lot of things tomorrow"

[X]None of the above

Don't set anything in stone.

If she's free the entire week, we'll check our schedule first since we're busy catching up with work and call her to set something up later.
If Midori is awake by then, we can take her along and watch the fireworks.
[]The day after tomorrow

Can't back out of it now without being rude or causing more problems.
At least this way we can schedule things properly.
Who knows what could come up.
Just say we'll get back to her about it once we get our schedule set .
The day after tomorrow, we have business with the furry little satan that we are employed by tomorrow even if we don't know it yet


We have to do this tomorrow.

Guys, Garcia is asking her out for dinner tomorrow. With Flowers and shit.

Something tells me hes gonna ask her out. Officially.

If we leave it open till the next day, she might say now.
this is the pinnacle of bad ideas

but on the other hand keeping them separate may look like two-timing, which also pretty high on the bad ideas totem poll.

in which case we should just do what would end up funner
If this is available i'd LIKE to change to this

voted here.

although I have doubts that not keeping her happy is the flag for bad things...
As much as I agree with your idea, if we have to call her again later, there'll be a whole shitstorm of trying to determine when to call her.
>>Guys, Garcia is asking her out for dinner tomorrow. With Flowers and shit.

You make it sound as if there's something wrong with that.
Shit, if we wait until the day after tomorrow Midori will be up though and she will be wanting to go with us since she is our aide/stalker/fan girl
> Simultaneously NTRing Garcia and cheating on Midori

its like a two-fer one deal
You forgot Pinky.

Actually do you think Midori would be professional enough to take orders to stand by and spy?

She'd... probably be hurt but it'd probably be good to be have our options openned

No im saying that if she still thinks that she has a chance with Chiaki, she WILL turn down Garcia.

And we lose the chance to get her out of our hair permanently.
[x] other
"I'll call you when I know when I'll be free. I have a mountain of back logged work to catch up on."

if she removes chiaki from her heart

and gets all emotionally razzle dazzled
She might disregard/forget chiaki's warning about InQBators and contract

Ah, I misunderstood.

In that case, yes, letting her down earlier is better than later.
The other side of the issue is having Midori around could be bad from Iori's point of view

Think she'd recognize Midori as the girl who stood by and was going to let her get raped?

I don't want to find out, personally.


[x] Tomorrow

We let her down, Garcia swoops in like a prince and she says yes.

How about we combine the votes?

[x] I'll call you when I know I'll be free. I have a mountain of back logged work to catch up on
--[x] try and keep the day after tomorrow open, I've got a gut feeling I won't be done until then
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>trying to NTR Pinky
"And reports indicate that the city of Tokyo vanished in a giant bloody blast of pink magic. News at 11."

Anything that may go on, I think Midori should be in on it. Speaking of our green-haired Magical Manga Artist... Did the point of why she was in Iori's room that first night ever come up?
Well if Sayaka's her good friend and Sayaka becomes our aid then that shouldn't be a problem.
This would be acceptable.

oh shit

I kinda want to see this train-wreck now but I'm afraid of the consequences.

We could always order midori to put on a subtle disguise of sorts though if we're cautious of her being recognized.

Her being recognized as the girl we molested in the brig while we were drunk by Iori would be better than that girl we molested in the brig while we were drunk that ALSO purposely tried to sell her out to rapists
I can agree to that.
We probably have a mountain of work that needs to be done, and tomorrow we will likely need to get things with Sayaka squared away with QB, as well as asking the cat just how hostile the other Officio's have gotten.
He implied that Jyuubey was some kind of rogue, but this recent turn of events makes QB out to be the one who is considered a maverick Incubator.
We could bring that up when we get to speak to Midorin again, starting with that we have to keep a good working relationship with a repeat client

We can drift off to remembering that day and then ask her about that jazz again.

I can agree with this, but it needs to happen before her date with Garcia so we can let her down and she can move on to live happily ever after with the Colombian crime-lord's son.

Actually, come to think of it, I wonder how close Garcia's story is to Black Lagoon...
When we blew her legs off? Her incubator hired her out to the bunch of rapists so she could control Iori and us into letting them in and sidestep the security detail
She already went over that back in Siberia.
Coobie has been hinted at being abnormal for quite a while, even back around thread 50 there were references to him going soft
So a list of things of Interest:
> Midori is very drained
> Gotta keep mami from dying
> Our Officio is being framed? or rather had a bad case of mudslandering properganda shoved it's way?
> talk to sayaka about kyouko and her being co-aides.
> Iori damage control

anything else?

We could you know, ask again under these better circumstances, asking for a reminder while subtly joking that she of all people should know our memory can be less than reliable sometimes
>having a boyfriend
But that'll kill her career, though.
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Can you tell me what the problem is?
Yeah, but not as bad as the Third, who decided to completely ignore the whole quota thing to concentrate on human wealth acquisition.
Iori is surprisingly not-crazy. Either something's up or we are, for the most part, assholes for thinking she'd gone totally batcrap over a few phone calls.

I'd even says she's almost...en...endearing.
But our coobie going soft is a good things.

He's like the manager of our department in this giant mega-corporation that we disliked but grew to tolerate and maybe like after all the times he's covered us and hasn't fallen to low business practices and such.

We'll look at the incubators with contempt, but we'll be slighty easier on coobie because we know he's going soft
Sort out with Sayaka just why she is such a raging bitch to us and no one else

We already debrief Midori on that. No need to bring it up again, specially not now after she nearly fucking died putting Chiaki back together.
Guys why don't we just have Midori nearby but out of view, and TALK to Iori about it? We tell her that while Kyuubey is a smarmy bastard who twists the truth to manipulate people into doing what he wants, there are far worse Incubators out there. Incubators that won't hesitate, for example, to assist in a gang-rape. And that the magical girls who fall into their clutches have little choice but to go along with it, until someone gives them a way out.

> Iori gets preggers or otherwise has idol career ruined by relationship with garca
> deep regret
> Mahou shoujo wishes for her to redo her meeting wtih chiiaki, from the beginning, jelly of Midori or something similarly disruptive


>she nearly fucking died

Not to mention that her friend sacrificed herself so he could live again
First is, as stated, Iori getting a boyfriend would be disastrous to her career, and so she's unlikely to accept him in the first place.
Second, if she loses her career, what she holds dear to her heart, isn't it more likely for her to Contract in order to repair her career as an idol?
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So in conclusion, we're doomed.
didn't she already said she just didn't like us.
Trying to change otherwise would be like that episode of Recess when TJ tried to get that ONE ASSHOLE kid that didn't like him on the playground to like him.

He failed
It is good for the girls under his command in the short term but it could lead to trouble down the line if the other incubatos get uppity and think that such ways of thinking warrant exterminatus
>talk to sayaka about kyouko and her being co-aides.

Equerry and Aide.

Equerry is one we have as our Devil's advocate and general fucker-upper, AIde is Public Face, PR, HR, that sort of thing.

And Midori as our Secretary/assistant/deep dark secret missions/make us sandwiches person.
It's noir so of course the worst has to be expected, see >>24525898
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Her official title will be 'Bed-warmer'
>Secretary/assistant/deep dark secret missions/make us sandwiches person.

The word you're looking for with that description is 'Wife'.
I think we are all forgetting that Iori was already pretty solidly lesbian from the start anyway

Remember she and Yayoi were at the very least screwing
In time for thread!
But, but... I have exam tomorrow.
Well, fuck it, I can sleep when I'm dead.
Actually, rethinking on this

Do you think Pinky and Midori are BFFs enough, for if this shit happens she'd try to help midori regain memories of the original timeline somehow? She did claim she;d play fair, and be really mad that Midori's hard work would be undermined by iori, maybe.

oh man so many possibilities aaaaaaaaaaa
I don't see the problem if QB is able to maintain quota.
Though it does bear questioning if the Incubators get their energy from the process of Witching out, or from spent Grief Seeds.
Actually she never said it to Chiaki and she has been getting better

So now we are moderately more together we can attempt to sort it out once and for all
>>Remember she and Yayoi were at the very least screwing

Maybe, maybe not.

Midori said that the bedroom gymnastics was an illusion which came from Iori. It could have just been her fantasy or based off of something more real.
I never really understood how awful it must be for Kyubei to manage a whole stable of hormonal little girls. Honestly I don't blame him for wasting them in the worst ways he can think of.
I'm okay with all of this.
Either way, she wanted to give Yayoi the D.
> we ask midori to disguise self as "new bodyguard, comes with the position"
> after say its Iori she'll spitefully subtly look Yayoi but just tweak a few details to make Iori uncomfortable, like a good jelly waifu would.
It's incubators
We have already seen they are backstabbing little shits so it isn't too big a leap to make from our little furry dickbutt being soft to the rest of the furry little dickbutts deciding to obliterate him and his organization

Do lesbians call it that?

Or should it be Schlicking, Scissoring, or some other 's' euphemism?
Suddenly a whole lot of talking with the consensus that we're fucked whatever we do.

Did I get it right?

Now thats just mean.
Uh, no, wrong. The illusion came from CHIAKI's mind, not Iori's. As far as Iori was concerned, they just hugged a bit.
decu where are you

did you get lost in the Macintosh
Midori said that Iori filled in the details, she just provided the basic framework so I thought it was pretty clear

Not to mention she was doing it one room away from her bodyguard which sort of hinted that it wasn't an unusual thing

You're remembering wrong. Here you go

>>"The worst I ever got was to cuddle with her in my underwear. I made you see that so you wouldn't get any ideas about getting close while I made her sleep. Coincidentally, she was the one who thought that scenario up, so your pure idol isn't as pure as you think."

There you go. Iori was the one who came up with the scenario and Midori based her illusion around it.
Yeah, but don't they have to report to Home Office?
Maybe if we eliminate Jyuubei in a hostile takeover, minimizing casualties among his stable of Magical Girls, that'll force the other Incubators to back off.
Given Jyuubey is a tremendous cock, this might not be a bad thing to consider.
Relax, it's only been 40 minutes.
I think the closest we have to home office is the firsts little moon base
Are we ever *not* considering trying to vaporize incubators?
Sometimes we consider enslaving Coobie instead of killing him outright

Only when we are in a very merciful mood
We should go softer on coobie
maybe only physical abuse instead of gun related violence, like pulling his cheeks apart and stepping on his back.

we can save our bullets for the true dickbutts
>eliminating incubators

That went so well for Homura stopping Kyubes nabbing Madoka, didn't it.

I want to see what happens if chiaki head-pats Kyuubey.

It seems to be part of the warmaster's rights and duties.
Agreed, Coobie's alright. Not perfect, maybe, but pretty alright. And Yuu's Incubator sounds like a cool guy. The Seventh I think? Shichibey?
It'll be good if Garcia screws the lesbian out of her. Rainbows are straighter than most magical girls.
Idols swing both ways.

It widens the appeal, you see.

Nanabey? I don't remember if Seven had different names like Four.

Nanabey sounds really, really cute
If she's a true gold star

her potential to be a magical girl idol is cemented
We haven't really even abused him that much
I think the last thing we did was try to attack him while we were reading the first issue of magical Midori
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You burn through the rest of your cigarette, right down to the filter - and it's then that you tell her to keep the day after tomorrow open. You have a lot of work to catch up on after your two-week furlough - but you think you can manage the day after tomorrow, if nothing else comes up. You'll just call her in advance for any changes.

"A-ah. that's...that's alright, Chiaki-san, I fully understand." Iori's voice sounds much more cleaner now, much happier than it's been at the start of this call. "I'll make sure to keep my phone with me at all times, just in case you call."

...Right. She should. Just in case.

"I'll be waiting, Chiaki-san! Ah, but, you probably need to attend to something else, now, don't you? If so, then...have a good evening, Chiaki-san. O-or, um, early morning. H-haha, I just realized what time it is...goodness, I didn't think it was this late already..."

It's fine. She should sleep. Idols need to take care of their bodies.

"O-of course! I always try to, Chiaki-san! I...I just couldn't sleep before talking to you, that's all, and--" She squeaks at the realization of what she'd said, before resuming hurriedly. "Um, w-well, goodbye, Chiaki-san! Please take care, and I'll be waiting!"

She ends the call just as you say goodbye, and you spend a few moments looking at your phone's screen before putting it away.

That went as well as you were dreading it would.

"Ladykiller Murderface," Kyoko grins at you from the rear view mirror. "You askin' idols out for coffee, now? Man, is that what Warmasters do? I mean, Kharn slept with a few during her time, but..."

How do you respond?
As for the fourth, its either Shibey or Yonbey, though I'm pretty sure it'd sound better if you replaced the b sound with a p.
" Gotta keep a good relationship with a repeat client. Strictly Business "
I. am. not. Kharn.
"No. Fuck you."
"I'm not going out on a date with her. She's obsessed, I need to let her down gently."
"Coffee is as far as it'll go. Business is Business.

Besides, There's a girl in a hospital bed that I owe far more than just a coffee."
"Hey, Cyclops.

What would you do, if you could save someone you cared about from ending up like us? How much would you hurt them, hurt yourself, to spare them our fate?"

Initial Response.


short pause

then a combo of


sounds hilarious.
"I prefer more exotic hair colors." And after a more meaningful pause,

what even do you call green haired girls? greenheads?
"It's just for a cup of coffee. I want to let her down easy so she stays away from this kin of life. And I'm not Kharn; can you honestly see me being a mother?"
I think the title does something to you, makes you a ravenous beast.

I mean look at Kharn, she retired from the post and ended up in a steady relationship.
And I did get a funny feeling when I tried the hat on earlier...

I like this. Let's go with this.
Seconding this.
Well Misaka used broccoli head
Sounds good.
"No, fuck you. I'm not going out on a date with her. She's obsessed, I've gotta let her down gently. Gotta keep a good relationship with a repeat client. Coffee's as far as it'll go, period. Strictly Business."

"...Besides. There's a girl in a hospital bed that I owe far more than just a coffee."
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Why not go the whole way.
intial poster,

if you're gonna roll with this, try to include

kyouko input is probably very relevant

that exotic hair colors thing is neat too, but greenhead sounds like some sort of irish metal thing.
>Irish Metal
>The Furleys in Death Thrash makeup

My Brain is full of fuck
Broccoli it is!
> tfw when death metal lyrics with irish bagpipes blaring
Business is business

also mention that I want her to avoid becoming one of us.

Unlike idols, we're not exactly admired or can quit once we have someone

....except for Kharn
"No, fuck you. I'm not going out on a date with her. She's obsessed, I've gotta let her down gently. Gotta keep a good relationship with a repeat client. Coffee's as far as it'll go, period. Strictly Business."

"...Besides. There's a girl in a hospital bed that I owe far more than just a coffee."

A minute or so of silence, or as a reply to Kyoko's continued jabs.

"Kyoko...What would you do, if you could save someone you cared about for ending up like us? How much would you hurt them to spare them our fate? Because I'd much rather keep Iori as a customer than as a coworker. And, while I do give a shit about her...I'm pretty sure I don't feel that way about her."
the word obsessed might be too much.

I think just saying that, it's just coffee and nothing more, also to avoid having her become a magical girl

Just needs the "exotic hair colors" jab and it would be perfect.
>Her official title will be 'Bed-warmer'
I'm pretty sure "deep dark secret missions" cover that. And much, much more.
>inb4: Iori is actually after Fabiola
>Called us 30 times
>"I...I just couldn't sleep before talking to you, that's all, and--"
What would you call it?

"No, fuck you. I'm not going out on a date with her. She's obsessed, I've gotta let her down gently. Gotta keep a good relationship with a repeat client. Coffee's as far as it'll go, period. Strictly Business."

"...Besides. There's a girl in a hospital bed that I owe far more than just a coffee."

A minute or so of silence, or as a reply to Kyoko's continued jabs.

"Kyoko...What would you do, if you could save someone you cared about for ending up like us? How much would you hurt them to spare them our fate? Because I'd much rather keep Iori as a customer than as a coworker. And, while I do give a shit about her...I'm pretty sure I don't feel that way about her." A smirk. "Besides, I'm into more...exotic hair colours."
fair enough, but somethings are better off not said
Its the truth, though. And quite frankly...its bloody unhealthy, and we care about her as a friend to let her drive herself into ruin over us.

We might need to stage an Intervention at some point.
mexicanhalfbreeds.jpg the sequel?
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Yay! Lets see Decu put this up.
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But what if she's hiding the barrel under her skirt? I can't reach that far. I bet scooby can grab a shovel and the horses will find mustard.
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you all are
Everyone is faggots anon, every single person who lays eyes on 4chan is
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Hey, the thing we all agree on is that "The OP is a faggot." However since we can become OP's at one point in time. That means we are all faggots.
You say this like it's news.
don't feed the troll,
keep calm and carry on with suffering
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We can't help it.
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Well, right. At least make sure he eats his veggies too.
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Nooo! He`s cute! I want to keep him as pet!
>get back from work.
>time for 4chan!
>get ready to read the archives
>open catalog as well
>accidentally scroll down further than i usually do
>check twitter
>been running for nearly 3 hours

y-yeah, well, it's not like I r-really want to participate or a-anything.
it's still some 4-5 hours from finishing.

I-It's not like we wanted you here either!

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>all that tsun
[x]"Please don't even joke about me picking up Kharn's reputation. I'm just trying to be friendly.

...Don't laugh at me trying to be friendly, I'm not good at it."
Who is this? Looks familiar and also cute

But thats forbidden love
Spaghetti-tan. From the heart-thumping adventure manga 'It's not my fault I'm not popular.'.
>Update] [Auto] 4 new posts
>Delete Post [File Only] Password Style
>[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr
I like his post
Protagonist of "It's Not My Fault That I'm Not Popular!" manga.
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So as I understand it, it's your wish to be very popular?
Don't forget Best Girl.
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Words to live by.
No, my wish is for the universe to just end already.

You glare at Kyoko for a moment, before replying that you're just trying to be professional about the whole thing. This means trying to keep a good working relationship with a repeat client no matter what you or Iori felt about each other. Coffee is as far as it'll go - strictly business. Besides, if you have time to socialize, then you have time to take care of a certain green-haired Callidus who's busily sleeping off her medicine in a hospital bed.

"Oh? Heh, well, that's new." Kyoko replies, sounding rather pleased. "First time I've heard you talk that way about someone else other than Mami."

That so? Is it a bad thing?

"Nah, not in particular. Just different from the usual 'Mami this', an' 'Mami that'. Guess it's a good thing, if anything else." With the car braking at a stoplight, she turns to grin at you. "Just watch out, all I'm saying. It's easy enough to get signals mixed up if you just do things without thinkin' about them first."

Right. Since when did she become the relationship expert all of a sudden?

"Aw, I'm just tellin' you what Mami told me back then!" Kyoko turns back to the road as the stoplight turns green, the car moving once more. "If you wanna get into a relationship, all well and good, but you gotta do things properly. 'Specially considering our unique situation, and all, bein' what we are and everything. It's not just getting a boyfriend or a girlfriend and then callin' it a day, it's makin' sure the both of you understand what's up, and what could happen, and being okay with it."

...You're not exactly looking for relationship advice at the moment, but should the time come that you do, you'll keep her in mind.

"Yeah, well, just don't rush into stuff if you're not completely sure."

Yeah, alright.


"...Does that mean you're not into that idol, then?" Kyoko looks at you from the rear view mirror, her one remaining eye narrowed at you.


You blink at this, before shaking your head slowly.

No. You're...well. You're not sure. But you're...into more exotic hair colors. Yes. That.


The rest of the drive resumes in a slightly-uncomfortable silence. But you feel like you've just dodged something horrible for actually giving Iori a call.

You hope that being Warmaster doesn't really involve more of that kind of thing.

You're not too sure you can do a whole lot of that.

Soon enough, you arrive at Kyoko's apartment building. An elevator ride to the ninth floor and a bit of a walk later, and you're in front of Apartment #913. You note that it's a rather large apartment in the good side of the city - not too rich, but certainly a well-off side. Kyoko reaches up to adjust the ushanka - she'd worn it the entire trip here - before ringing the doorbell incessantly.

Is...is she not even going to take the ushanka off? You tell her that it still smells like the drunken bear they made it out of.

"Aw, it doesn't smell that much!" Kyoko grins, still madly ringing the doorbell. "Hah, she probably fell asleep waitin' for us, I kinda drove a bit too slowly there..."

"Alright, alright! For heaven's sake...!" A familiar voice, slightly dull from sleep but still crispily sharp bursts from behind the door, and you hear multiple locks being quickly undone. A moment later, the door swings away to reveal Sayaka, wearing a slightly wrinkled white shirt with a pair of spats. She's frowning, as usual. "Christ, Kyoko, stop ringing the doorbell like a damn maniac---and what the hell is that stench?" She covers her nose and mouth with one hand, glaring at you for a moment, and then at Kyoko's headgear. "Ugh, it stinks!"

"Eh? What stinks?" Kyoko blinks, and you murmur something about the ushanka. She blinks at you, before reaching up and taking the ushanka off. "I...I guess it's sorta fragrant, but I didn't think it smells that bad, really..."

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"...Give it here, I'll have it aired out the kitchen window and wash it tomorrow," Sayaka reaches out for the ushanka, and Kyoko looks at you for a moment before handing it over.

"Well, okay, but Murderface gave it to me, so..." The red-haired Eversor begins hesitantly, much like a kid asking a bully to please take care of their toy that they'd just stolen.

"I know. I asked her to." Sayaka gingerly takes the ushanka from Kyoko's hands, holding it between thumb and forefinger - the way you'd pick up a dead rat. "Christ, Murderface, couldn't you have bought her a new one? One that doesn't smell like a bear fucked in it?"

How do you respond?
"Kharn provided it. I can fly you to siberia if you'd like to complain about her taste in hats?"
"I figured this would be more authentic. Properly Russian."
"But it IS new. Very new. The steaks were pretty good."

"In soviet russia, Hat fucks Bear."
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"Hello to you too."

Heh this >>24526788
"You can thank Kharn"
"Hey, this was Kharn's prized possession, it wasn't easy getting it."
Smile and tell her that you wanted to have it made fresh so the smell will make Kyoko think of you all the time.

Make it as a joke, as far as Muderface could be humorous

It's kharn's. be glad theres no blond neither-hair or panties stuffed in it.
>The rest of the drive resumes in a slightly-uncomfortable silence. But you feel like you've just dodged something horrible for actually giving Iori a call.

>You hope that being Warmaster doesn't really involve more of that kind of thing.

Better to dodge it than not dodge it, Murderface!

>How do you respond?

"Ha! Is good joke! Become my Equerry!"

well, seems like we can't do anything right in her eyes.

"... didn't have a whole lot of time to go get a new one, you're welcome."

between the murderous: bears, magical girls, incubators, witches, personality fragments, eldritch abominations.

we had very little free time.
"It belonged to Kharn. I.. can't promise in good conscience that it wasn't fucked in at some point."

Start off with "Nice to see you too." and then >>24526788

No need to mention it was Kharn's or Sayaka might burn it.
I tried but I sort of had troubles with my mind being all over the place... literally
"Yeah, I'm also happy to see you again, Sayaka." eye the hat "Sorry about the stench, the only breed of bears available at the moment in Siberia are these stinking Murderbears, they killed and ate the rest of local fauna. Unless you count hostile Magical Girls, but making hat out of that one would be a bit too much on the creepy side. Even by my standards." give her a second to process it "Can we come in?"
Mutter this near the end of whatever you say to Sayaka
>A moment later, the door swings away to reveal Sayaka, wearing a slightly wrinkled white shirt with a pair of spats

What are you doing Sayaka? You're not supposed to be sexy.
Respond by stopping time. Then Make Out with Pinky. Then resume time and continue as if nothing happened. Blame Kharn for the smell.
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Sayaka can be anything she wants.
>Bellybutton Soulgem

I wonder if there is any Magical Girls with Vagina soulgems?
Well I guess that's one place to keep it.
Kharn pretty much all but made hats out of hostile magical girls, given that she took their skulls. She even took Wakaba's. And was cleaning it when Midori was there.

Even more justification for Midori slapping the shit out of her later.
That Kharn and her wacky antics!
Be a good place to keep it to keep Chiaki from sniping it during timestop. Unless you're Madoka, she'll never think to look there.
>And was cleaning it when Midori was there.
It's not like having a rotting skull on the cupboard would have been better.
>that one doujin
not again
I can't take the cuteness
That would give the whole new dimension to "lick the Soul Gem" trick.
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>What are you doing Sayaka? You're not supposed to be sexy.

I know most of you guys don't like Sayaka but, come on, that's just mean.
Don't look a gift hat in the mouth it smells worse inside. Get onto business.
Bad end idea:
Drunken 2some with Kyoko and Sayaka.
Their relationship is ruined.
Friendship with Kyoko ruined.
Sayaka decides to kill us for real this time.
Midori heartbroken and hates us.
Iori Heartbroken and hates us.
Mami hates us for destroying her circle of friends just when we were turning our life around.
Pinky drops the dere part of Yandere.
Super powered golden weapon armed Sayaka strikes us down while Pinky watches.
But every cloud has a silver lining: We get a note from Kharn congratulating us on our first conquest as warmaster just before we die.
"I wanted to make sure it was authentic, and it came with the recommendation of Kharn."
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Choose one.

Miki Sayaka. Not even once.
>hating on one meguca
>waifuing the other
>opinions = facts
/a/ pls go
Blueberry plz.
Threesome happens, but Sayaka gets a bit dere and forgives us for it
Kyouko does as well because it made Sayaka stop hating us quite so much and things can normalize after a period of awkwardness
Iori brokenhearted
Midori brokenhearted but forgives us like the broken person she is
Mami sees only a strengthed bond between her friends and can only go Ara Ara at the weird way it came about
Pinky gets pissed and just stops helping/tries to kill us for a while, but we can survive it
And THEN Kharn says next time try to get Mami in on it to surpass and do what Kharn could never accomplish
Wasn't Sayaka the one who idolized Kharn?
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I wish I had a "Kharn approves" picture for that. Pinky will have to do.

I don't think so? I don't remember anything like that ever popping up and I doubt that this super uptight version of Sayaka would ever approve of any of Kharn's antics.
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Anyone who plays a guitar, eh?
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No one likes you Sayaka, go and witch out already.
She did because of her rank as Warmaster I believe.
That really seems to be the only way she would look up to her

Well that and her being dead choppy with her weapons
Maybe she never actually met Kharn, and just assumed the weird rumors were just schoolgirls being jealous and mean.
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I hope you guys don't forget about this
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Shit wrong image.
Needs more legs.
Now I'll be curious about what got mislinked forever from this comment.
It's actually pretty good without the hat and glasses too, y'know.
No hat version. Search it on foolz if you want
Nah, Kirika. She respected Kharn's choppiness.

In response to "smells like a bear fucked in it": That's how you know it's the real deal.
It was just the image above sans-hat and coat.
4chanX automatically resurrects deleted posts from the foolz archive.
It was the same image, minus the hat and glasses.
She met her more than a few times while she was war master.
She probably never got to know her that well though since our only documented meeting of her was during Kharn flashback fun time where we decided she was on punishment duty for putting the boots on Girl A while she was chained up like the raging bitch she always is

and glasses
And glasses.
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It is. I have no idea why I deleted it, guess I went full retard. Never go full retard
Same guy. I swear, the heat is getting to me.
I also said in that deleted post "I hope you guys don't forget about this"
Okay, that looks fucking awesome without the silly hat.
Don't disrespect the war master hat! It oozes with sex appeals
... we did wash it, right?
No we did not.

It got rained on while Midori was trying to put Chiaki back together.

Does that count?
Not that I know of...
And you can bet Kharn wore it more than a few times while she was having her fun
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I suppose that explained why we got possessed by the hat.
>>24526782 >>24526788

"Like I give a shit who you stole it from." Sayaka snaps, although you notice that she's holding it less gingerly. "Seriously, Murderface, has some fucking consideration when you're buying presents for people. That's just common courtesy - but I guess it's too much to expect that from you, huh?"

You stare at her for a few moments, before shrugging and giving her a tired smile. Yeah, sure, whatever. You're glad to see her, too.

"..." Sayaka narrows her eyes at you, as if taken slightly aback at this, before shaking her head. "Three rules, Murderface. No alcohol and no firearms in the apartment. This is our home, not yours." She reaches out and plucks the cigarette from your mouth, before throwing it over the railing of the apartment floor. "And no smoking. Ever. Got that?"

Right. Fine. No guns, no booze, no smoking. She's made her point. NOW can she let you in the fucking apartment already?

"Take your shoes off first before you do. And don't touch anything."

For fuck's sake, SHE wanted to talk to you!

"I know." Sayaka glares at you again, seemingly waiting for you to do something stupid, before heading off inside the apartment, the ushanka in her hands. Kyoko turns to you and smiles, clearly embarrassed.

"Sorry about that, Murderface. She's not exactly a morning person." Kyoko apologizes sheepishly. "...Well, she is, but not when you're around. She's not a Murderface person, that's probably more accurate."

That club's got a lot of members, you note, as you bend over to pull off your heels. But she didn't need to apologize. Sayaka's just one of those people you'll probably never get along with, and you're alright with that.

"...Man, that shouldn't really be that way, though..." Kyoko murmurs wistfully as she pulls her own boots off. "...Ah, just leave your shoes here on the rack next to mine, Murderface, it'll be fine there."


If it doesn't get in the way of being able to work together, then it shouldn't be a problem, you tell her as the both of you step into the apartment. She can get pissed at you all she wants, so long as work doesn't get involved.

"Guess so..." Kyoko says, rather gloomily. It seems the red-haired Eversor wanted you and her blue-haired partner to be friends.

You want to tell her to not hold her breath for that to happen, but you figure a puppy doesn't need dropkicking when it's already halfway into being roadkill.

The inside of Kyoko's apartment - or, it should be said, Kyoko's and Sayaka's apartment - is homey. Super homey. It's proper, not too cluttered, and has sensible modern furnishings - but at the same time, it feels less of a safehouse for a Magical Girl and more of a real lived-in home. It feels like where a normal person, unconcerned with Witches and Grief Seeds and Incubators, would spend their day after work. A civilian that didn't need to worry about killing other Magical Girls and eldritchian horrors borne from suffering and grief just to stay alive. There's even a large terrarium in the living room, with what looks to be a small tortoise placidly nibbling on a small tomato.

They even have framed pictures of each other, together. With Sayaka looking...well, happy, or at least bearing a facial expression appraching happiness. You also note, after a fashion, that none of the pictures of Kyoko has her with her eyepatch. All of them showed her still with two eyes, rather than just one.

The only thing that gave it away - that it was a Magical Girl's apartment - was the two weapons placed on the wall, upon a rack. The golden spear that Kyoko commissioned from Misaka, the one with the halberd tip and the underslung bolter attachment. The other was a strange...amalgamation between a traditional Japanese longsword and an AR-15 rifle.


"Sit anywhere you like," Kyoko murmurs. "Just gonna go get changed, and stuff." She leaves you there in the living room as she makes for one of the rooms inside the spacious apartment. Looking farther ahead, you see Sayaka grumbling as she bustles around the kitchen, her back turned to you.

Seems you have some time to look around.

[]Examine the weapons.
[]Examine the tortoise.
[]Examine the pictures.
[]Find a place to sit and wait. No use kicking the goddamn beehive.
>amalgamation between a traditional Japanese longsword and an AR-15 rifle.

>[x]Examine the pictures.

But no touching, like the lady said.
>[]Examine the weapons.
>[]Find a place to sit and wait. No use kicking the goddamn beehive.
Keep it all business.
[x] Examine everything, touch nothing.

Priority being weapons > pictures > tortoise, if one has to be made.
[x]Examine the weapons.
Murderface option is murderface.
>Yuma isn't capable of caring for it
oh geez
>[]Examine the weapons.

Anything that expels pieces of metal at high speeds is our forte.
>[x]Find a place to sit and wait. No use kicking the goddamn beehive.

Nope. No ogling things.

Kyouko will shove It up our faces either way
>Look at the pictures
It would be nice/interesting to see Kyoko with both eyes, even if just a picture

I'm fine examining anything as long as we DON'T TOUCH.
>>[X]Examine the tortoise.

Just to throw Sayaka off.

>>Yuma isn't capable of caring for it

"Oh geez" is right. I hadn't even thought of it that way and now it's giving me terrible thoughts about Yuma's current state.
[x]Examine the weapons.
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Looks like Yuma gave Kyoko the tortoise.
I suppose after all of her team died....

>[x]Find a place to sit and wait. No use kicking the goddamn beehive.

We Warmaster now, lets not gawk at stuff.

[x] pictures

Ask sayaka where she kept the picture of butler kyoko.

why you do this!?

>nice piece.

>captcha: much uragiay
[x] Find a place to sit and wait. No point kicking the goddamn beehive

>That sword

Can Jetstream Sayaka be a thing?
>>Yuma isn't capable of caring for it
>oh geez
Yeah, dead people generally make pretty poor pet owners.
Look at everything, when Sayaka comes in and we can talk to her first off start by explaining we turned up to try and sort everything out because quite frankly we're tired, kyouko's tired and everyone else is tired of us hating each other

Not expecting to be buddy buddy, but to be able to stand in the same room and not want to shank each other would be nice
She ain't dead, you imp.
She is alive, Kyouko told us so when we first got back.

I dare say she is just massively depressed because almost everyone she could consider a friend except Kyouko and maybe Sayaka are dead
>everyone else is tired of us hating each other
Even QB is tired of this shit. We could pull that out if all else fails.
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I was so late.
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[x]Examine the tortoise.

a semblance of a 'normal' working relation would be nice, at least in front of the various employees.

can't be good for the officio if she keeps mouthing off like she does to someone who is basically her superior (in a corporate ladder kind of way)
Did you make that? Nice.
>can't be good for the officio if she keeps mouthing off like she does to someone who is basically her superior (in a corporate ladder kind of way)
You mean like all the Magical Girls don't talk of QB as "the mutant cat"?
Shitty airbrush coloring is my calling card.
De geso?
I know, It's "Seyiku"

most girls do, some, like Tora, don't.

i mean specifically bitching at the current leading warmaster but i didn't type it out right.
I was actually trying to remember that version of her name but was tired and couldn't get it at all.
Anyone know where I can read the previous installments of MGNQ?
[x]Examine the tortoise and say "Tonight I dine on turtle soup"
Dem legs

Ordering's a bit weird in places, but it should be numbered correctly.
As long as Sayaka doesn't openly question Chiaki's decisions in front of everyone else all the time and respects the Warmaster position, it may not be a big deal if she can't get over her strong dislike of Chiaki. Which actually may be part of the reason why it was considered making her an Equerry, since her lack of affection may help her to see things more objectively than Mami/Kyouko/Midori.

Of course, we may have to package it in the right way in case she takes the Equerry offer as an insult, given how disgruntled she was over Chiaki's appointment to the Warmaster position in the first place.
Thanks guys.
>Which actually may be part of the reason why it was considered making her an Equerry

Exactly the reason. That + Kyoko and her only come in a two-pack
We should definitely approach the matter with some respect, maturity, and seriousness. Make her see that we actually want, and could probably use, her help.
We really do, considering that the Mami/Kyouko/Midori trio all have their own moments of profoundly bad judgment and also can be too forgiving/asskissing of us at times. Sayaka can even things out a little more there, plus it's always handy to have the magical girl equivalent of a goddamn Terminator on our good side.
All we have to do is tell her we can get Kyoko to wear a suit when not in costume and she should jump on it.
There is a difference between impartial and hatred that is far too big.
If Sayaka can't even answer the damned door to us in a civil manner I don't see her working at all well in that role
Do we have to get kyoko and sayaka as a package deal?
>We really do, considering that the Mami/Kyouko/Midori trio all have their own moments of profoundly bad judgment and also can be too forgiving/asskissing of us at times.

It's like you don't trust the hivemind here to always do the most logical and right thing. If the bitch keeps talking to us like this, she's begging for a bullet between the eyes.
It's simple. We flat out tell her "You don't like me, and thus have no potential to be any sort of yes-man. That makes you a very strong candidate for this position. I need someone there who isn't afraid to shank bitches right in the soul gem; myself included if that's what it takes. And another upshot is the fact that if something DOES go down you're right there for Warmaster."

But make it clear she's going to have to be a *little* more polite. Maybe a more.. Professional attitude would work out. I mean; they're both adults. Surely they can come to a Gentleman's(Ladies'?) Agreement on the subject. Plus the fact that it's understood that she and Kyouko come as a set.
Didn't Kyouko say she might come back to that petshop sometime? Maybe Kyouko just wanted to get her own turtle and Yuma still has hers.
Fucking this.

There's a limit to everything, people.
I want to give the bitch a chance but goddamn.

We want a straight guy, not an internet hater
So maybe first, air out the grievances, saying that it's not good for morale to be openly hateful of each other in front of the other Magical Girls.
Maybe something like "Sayaka, you hate me, and it seems that no matter what I do, you will continue to hold on to this grudge. While you don't let it interfere in the completion of your duties, openly displaying it is detrimental to the working environment of the other girls."

QB said to make Sayaka our Equerry.
Sayaka wants to hate us, that's fine. But the boss, our boss, is telling her to stow it.
If she balks at the notion of being Chiaki's subordinate, we could mention that she would be able to strongly influence Officio policies and would be in command of the other ranks. She did seem pretty happy to be promoted to Rank Leader. Alternatively, we could say that QB was the one who suggested the idea.
>plus it's always handy to have the magical girl equivalent of a goddamn Terminator on our good side.
Nope, that would be after Head Maid of Garcia Mansion contracts.
If you don't want Sayaka, then we don't get Kyoko. It's as simple as that.
>If she balks at the notion of being Chiaki's subordinate
She already is a subordinate, by Chiaki being Warmaster.
If she doesn't like being subordinate to Chiaki, then becoming Equerry won't change things.
A loss, but nothing lethal.
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>It's like you don't trust the hivemind here to always do the most logical and right thing.
[]Find a place to sit and wait. No use kicking the goddamn beehive.


Hey guys.

We don't have to cut straight to business, we might have another thing to discuss to kind of diffuse to mood and sort of force sayaka to not be angry.

Iori and her have been buddy buddy right so..?

> Before we get down to business, I understand that you've been taking care of.. Ms. Minase in my absence, You seem to have a better handle on these things, so I'll ask outright: We didn't really leave on the best terms, one thing to lead to another in sibera and... how do you think I should break it to her that I'm not "interested"
Then when were you going to suggest we tell Kyoko that the whole Aide thing is off the table?
There is a point though where it is not possible to have her working for us even though she hates us, if it was more dislike her DI what is necessary then gtfo we would be good

As it is screaming bitchfest and attempts to kill her level hatred we aren't good
I think the old maid is out of the magical girl strike range.
The moment Blueberry fails yet again at the simple notion of containing her emotions. Which is probably seconds away.
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>The hivemind always doing the most logical and right thing
We tell her it's not going to work out, because it'd ruin the relationship between her and Sayaka, and you care too much about kyouko's happiness to do that, and also she's be a rubbish aide if she's all heartbroken and everything.

That's about it.
No, we tell her the shit be all fucked up and It's up to her If she wants to continue either way

Asking Mami might be better but why not. Good to get her view too.
examine the tortoise
Hopefully Sayaka will remember that we gave her the picture of butler!Kyoko and the info about licking soulgems, and that will make her slightly more well disposed towards us.
its not so much to get her opinion as it is to think about things that aren't "holy fucking shit I hate murderface jesus christ go away fuck"
First things first. Sayaka wanted to talk with us. How about we let her say what she wants to say before making any definite decisions?
Not the other guy, but perhaps we should mention that being an Equerry is a position of great responsibility , and that it would not be remiss if she had her own aide to help her out?

By... reminding her how much of an incompetent fuck-up we are and expecting her to help fix our mess?

This is the woman who can be an utter Bitch to us FOR DOING HER A FAVOUR. The list of ways to stop her thinking "holy fucking shit I hate Murderface..." etc etc is Really, Really small.

Like 'provide Kyouko fap fodder or gtfo' small.
Good plan.
Of course. But it never hurts to hammer out a gameplan while we're waiting.

She'll give us shit but she'll help.

She did that to us previously and she even still made that stuffed toy for Misaka after giving her abit of a hard time too.
More like provide Kyouko fap fodder and gtfo an hero

Not if the 'gameplan' involves tossing everything out. Thats simple. Tableflip simple.

Get your 'convince her gameplan' ready instead.
That's got nothing to do with the problem at hand.

No, that's in no way an analogous situation.
Asking Sayaka for help with Iori is giving her another point of contention with Chiaki, and is counter-productive.
[x]Examine Sayaka's posterior while she's turned around.
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Burn a hole in the spats with your stare

Not like she needs another one. Shes got loads in her bucket and shes not afraid of using them to needle Chiaki.

I see no reason to not ask her anyways.
What we SHOULD do is thank her for looking after Iori, not start badgering her for advice.
Do you guys think sayaka is mad because we practically cuntblocked her morning

> god I hate the smell of bear, mood ruined
> fucking murderface
> let's get this over with as quick as possible
> why did I agree to this
> I want to fuck Kyouko
Sounds fine.

I wonder what her reaction will be though
>I see no reason to not ask her anyways.
We're trying to get her to work professionally with Chiaki, and to accept the position of Equerry, and you want to rile her up some more.
You do not see how this is counter-productive?
Because we actually have plans to try and have a productive discussion with her for once in our life?

The more we stick to business and trying to mend bridges and the more she sticks to being a bitch just means we look better to everyone including Kyouko
I'm now imagining the scene with Kyouko about to lift Sayaka's skirt up with the tip of her spear.
Pretty possible but given that she is ALWAYS like this I find it hard to believe or care
>Kyouko refuses to get physical until her hat is returned
>wears it all the way through the action

>Because we actually have plans to try and have a productive discussion with her for once in our life?

>The more we stick to business and trying to mend bridges and the more she sticks to being a bitch just means we look better to everyone including Kyouko

I am unsure what you intend to do then.

Not stick to business?
Why not both, the first then the latter.

We're not guaranteed to talk to mami for this..speaking of which, did we tip off coobie or Kyouko about mami? Maybe a subtle thing like:
> call it a gut feeling, but I'd like you guys to keep and eye on mami, something something security maybe compromised something

We have yet to.

I think it would be prudent to do so tomorrow when we meet with him.
I imagine that's something Kharn would do.

>Miss Kharn, I'd like to note that your hat doesn't smell too good.
>Well then I'm going to fuck you in It all night long and you're going to like It
Original iori conversation starter here

The whole point of starting with iori THEN business is to break the ice and try to diffuse sayakas grumpiness

Maybe if it makes us appear more human to her, all the better.
>tip off coobie or Kyouko about mami
No, and instead of accusing her of being a security risk, why not just ask if Mami was sitting in on meetings in our stead, and to ask for a briefing from her about them.

Makes us look more professional and segues into finding out what Mami was doing.
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You decide to look around for a bit, while keeping in mind Sayaka's instruction to not touch anything. You remember why you're here, after all. If Sayaka still decides to be a bitch while you're going through all this effort, well, you'll just have to take it outside with her, but at least she won't be able to say that it was your fault.

You examine the weapons racked high up in the wall. Kyoko's spear you've already seen before, right before she was spooked out of her wits when you told her what Golden Weapons actually do. Of course, the spear itself was commissioned from Misaka herself, so there's no way that it could be one of those, right? Even if it does have the same shade and same...golden lustre as the others. Heck, it even sorta glows the same. Maybe if you could touch it for a bit, see if you hear anything...?

Nah. No point. You're just being paranoid. Besides, Sayaka said no touching.

The sword with the strange sheath is a bit more interesting, though. It's definitely a more modern design than the swords you've seen before, kinda industrial in the way the sheathe, the handle, and even the sword guard is completely unpainted gunmetal. The sheathe itself is a work of art, with an AR-15's receiver worked into the thing, complete with trigger and magazine. You're...not too sure how it works. Maybe it allows the wielder to shoot bullets after the blade is drawn, or something? Like a last resort sort of thing?

There's something tampoed on the gun part of the sheathe, too. Like the lettering stamped onto a gun's slide. You can just make it out.

'Blueberry Cheesecake Brownie'...? Huh. That's...well. Strange name to call a sword like this.

You study the weapons for a few moments longer, before moving onto the pictures.

The security compromise is that she's IN danger, not that she's a threat

Probably worded bad but kinda posting mobile right now

They're...normal pictures. Happy pictures, the sort couples take whenever they go somewhere. You feel a small stab of jealousy as you look at them - finding yourself wishing that you could have the same thing with someone else, too. ...Hah, they've even got one in Disneyland, Kyoko still having some cotton candy around her mouth as she hugged the Donald Duck mascot. Sayaka stood beside her, holding Kyoko's cotton candy, studiously ignoring a Mickey Mouse mascot dude behind her as it waves at the camera.

That's right. Kyoko's favorite is Donald Duck. Mainly because she finds how disproportionately angry he gets hilarious.

Other than that, they're just pictures. Nothing too remarkable, but quite special to the people who had them taken.

You look at the tortoise last. It's a strange kind, nothing like you've seen before. Probably one of those wildly-expensive breeds. It certainly looks the bit, with awesomely-spiked legs, and a tan shell with dark brown segments. You're not a tortoise person, but if you're ever in the market to buy one, this probably would be it. ...The way it's eating the baby tomato looks pretty cute, too.

You tap at the glass of the terrarium carefully, trying to get its attention. The tortoise pauses in its meal, blinking, before turning its head to look up at you.

"Tonight I dine on turtle soup," you murmur with quiet menace. It blinks at you again, before yawning and resuming its meal.


"Don't bother Taro while he's eating," snaps a voice behind you, and you turn around to see Sayaka setting down three mugs of steaming coffee on the living room's center table, along with three saucers of cake. One of the cake slices is much bigger than the other ones, and has more than two strawberries on the frosting. "...At least you didn't break anything." She huffs after a moment.

Taro? The turtle's name is--

"Tortoise," Sayaka grunts, cutting you off. "And we're just taking care of it for a friend while she's busy."

>try to diffuse sayakas grumpiness
Thanking Sayaka for good work in regards to the Iori protection job is the only thing that might make her sink into her professional role.
Making us appear more human is a stupid thing to do, since that's not the reason that Sayaka hates us.
When working with someone you hate, its better to stick to business than to get into any personal details that will only remind you why you hate the other person and just want to slash their throat open with the scissors on your desk and stuff the stapler down their throat.
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Well, that's...unexpected. You thought--

"Not tortoise people. I'm not good with pets, and Kyoko wants one of those dogs that grow to be huge, slobbering monsters that shed all over the place. I've convinced her that it's not a good idea, and she's gloomy about that. I'm waiting for her birthday to surprise her with one, so that'll shut her up." The blue-haired Eversor yawns, before plopping herself on the large, four-seater couch. "Go ahead and sit down. Coffee and cake if you want some, leave the biggest slice for Kyoko."

You take a seat at the single-seater sofa couch opposite, before leaning forward and taking one of the steaming mugs of coffee. You take a careful sip of the warmed beverage - and find that it's actually well-brewed. You figured that Kyoko was just as horrible in the kitchen as you were.

"It's not poisoned. I don't poison food." Sayaka remarks, apropos of...well, probably the surprised expression on your face. "For fuck's sake, Murderface."

It's not like she gives you any reason to think that, no sir.

"Fuck you."

How do you start the conversation? Remember, you're trying to broach the topic of her and Kyoko being your aides.

"That's 'Fuck You, Warmaster.'."

>What did you want to talk about? Make it short, my time is valuable.
I don't think we're THAT bad off with sayaka

I mean she did see us off at the airport properly that one time right..?

You have a point though, although I'd really want an outsider opinion on the iori thing, with kyoukos presence we could get away with it because it seems like a "couple problem?"

We should definetely thank her though
Make a comment about armpit fetishism and then

"First, good work on the Minase contract; I talked with the principal and she's very happy with your work.
"So, what did you want to talk with me about?"
"Thanks for taking care of Iori for me. That situation is...delicate. ...There's something I'd like to discuss with you, about Sakura and your position in this Officio, now that I'm the Warmaster."

Try to remain professional. Professionally eat cake while talking.

"No, I'm not going to shit on either of you. Shut up."
This if only because it'd be hilarious.

>What did you want to talk about?

Leave out the remainder.

Let her start with her concerns, we'll do the sales pitch, including the offer of her as equerry, after.
So yeah, thanks for... stuff.

Like looking over the idol or giving me chance.

Do an awkward silence. Shift uncomfortably

SHE WILL press on seeing our ritual dance.

Once she asks, we say we want to depend on her and Kyouko's strenghts.
Tell her straight. what's up
Thanks her for taking care of our duties while we were outing getting shot/stabbed/witched in siberia. Then just straight up tell her we want both of them for aides and we'd like her to be out equerry, Make sure she understands that Midori is going to be our personal aide, and that she and kyoko will be taking care of important shit- we aren;t going to hand off paperwork to her or anything.

"Fine. I wanted to thank you about taking care of Minase's protection in my absence, but we can cut to the chase: Kyouko said you had something to say about my recruiting her as an Aide now that I'm Warmaster. I'm here to listen. So talk."
>I mean she did see us off at the airport properly that one time right..?
No, all she did was tell us that Kyoko would want an ushanka.
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Soon but not now
Start with thanking for iori
-- maybe advice if mood brightens

Otherwise start talking about equery prospect, make it clear of the advantages and she's in the position of deciding power here, as we were advised to take either both of you or none, and kyouko has expressed interest into the position.
Sorry about the hat, I meant to get a proper one but things didn't go very well in siberia. The best I can explain it is split personalities became a literal event instead of a figure of speech

The photo's are nice, it's nice to see some of us actually living like real people outside of work

Listen to her concerns.

No point talking until we know what she wants.

We'll reply after.
I suppose it would be a waste of time with us, not like any poison would do much

Plus Kyouko would hate to think of you wasting food like that

ease in to the discussion, start of with something vaguely related.

like that gun sword on the rack, if we get her started on what is hopefully her favorite weapon, the conversation will be much smoother (if only by a bit).

work our way up to the topic, touching the subject of Iori's protection and our thanks for doing a good job, see what she thinks of the current affairs within the officio and from there on to the possibility of Kyoko becoming our aide. when she starts to object get straight to the notion that she could become an Equerry to limit their time apart.

>i hope this is acceptable
>Blueberry Chocolate Brownie

Does...does Bizarre Jelly exist in this universe?
I agree, say that at the end.

>Well first off, let me thank you for taking good care of Iori while I was out being mauled by bears and riped to pieces.(Maybe leave the last part out) The coffee is great/good by the way. Now second part I'll leave for later since I heard that you want to talk to me. And that's "Fuck you Warmaster"
This seems to have the right gist of what all we want to say, with the proper amount of spaghetti.
Small talk with Sayaka is more akin to small calibre arms fire and daggerpoints being exchanged. We're not here to try getting cushy cushy while she needles us. Focus on official topics. (Iori counts, though).
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>Remember, you're trying to broach the topic of her and Kyoko being your aides.


"Ok Sayaka. Lets get down to it. I think your just a screaming harpy who snaps at everything, you think I'm just a chain smoking alcoholic upstart that doesn't deserve this position. Its obvious that we will never like each other."

"I'm thinking of picking up Kyoko as an aide, and since you and her are partially joined at the hip I suppose you want to talk about that."

"I am also thinking of picking up a second aide. My first thoughts we to pick up Midori, she has shown a lot of Merit recently. Although she does lack personal experience."

"You do seem like a promising cadet for a second aide, one of the best along side Kyoko. And considering your relationship, you would work well as a team. And from what Minase Iori and Mami told me. You would be very good at PR. However how did I know you don't kill me at the first opportunity?"
>Taking care of a huge dog in an apartment.
Sayaka may want to see the movie Turner and Hooch, and then re-think this plan a bit.
That's not really well-thought out from Sayaka's perspective.
Get to what's work-related, don't pry into personal interests. Do you have any idea how that feels, when a person you hate starts talking about something you love? To have them invade what you hold dear and metaphorically get their greasy, Cheetohs-stained hands on it and track their disgusting, filthy trail all over it?
I would want to beat you to death with a keyboard.
>Midori lacking personal experience
Did our tonguework mean nothing?
We could ask Yuma, she would know

It does make me think that Bizarre Jelly is actually the American Officio and they all have names like that

And their Coobie is Travis touchdown

i see, so, thank her for taking care of Iori in our stead and get right down to business?
"That's 'Fuck you Warmaster' for one. Look, let's get down to brass tacks: I need an aide. Kyouko is perfect for the position, but I need someone who will call me out on my bullshit. Since you hate me more than I hate myself, that puts you at the top of the list. But first, get all this petty bitch bullshit out of your system. Just let it all out, right here. Kyouko's sick of it, I'm sick of it, the entire Officio is sick of it. So shit or get off the pot."
Probably means officio (our officio not the 3rd) experience

I don't like the idea of being a hardass to sayaks when she's the deciding factor for kyousaya leiutenants.
Actually this seems about right.

For the sales pitch for Sayaka as Equerry:

"Sayaka, I have a position that I'd like you to take as well. Equerry. Above everyone except me and the Incubator. Sayaka, I need you. I need your help. You know me. I screw up things. Badly. I need you watching, in case I make a bad decision.

I need you help, The officio needs your help."
[x] See how much use the Butler outfit got
That can be after we hear what she called us here to talk about. She must have had a reason to invite us to her home.
Oh /tg/. You never learn, do you? So much roleplaying, but not one post is anywhere close to being normal interaction. Be glad I don't run this, for you would fail spectacularly.
Still not sure I want her in that position
I'd be ok with this

We could wait for Kyouko to comeback to try smooth out all this ruffling we're doing + iori things
What, the few who just want to say "thanks for a good job with the Minase contract, what did you want to talk about" don't count?
I'm still saying that giving her this much power will lead to trouble like giving stupid orders that we would not approve the second the contact with us is lost
I would be fine with her as an aide with Kyoko, but not the other position. I do not trust her to make the right calls even sort of.
This. I have no idea why others think she fits.

>gonna call us out on our bullshit
We have yet to fuck up in any way that could have been averted by having the bitch behind our back criticizing us.
Sayaka WAS looking at promotion to Rank Leader, she's clearly capable of operating at a higher level and probably gives orders to lower Eversors on a regular basis already. She's also a hell of a lot more familiar with proper procedure and chain of command than we are. Dead honest, if anyone here probably shouldn't have as much power as they do in this situation it's us, but hey.
Maybe we could compromise? Take her on as an aide and when the ones who do not want her in the other position see she can handle it we promote her up?

This basically.

This seems like about the right idea? I wouldn't say 'put her under Kyouko' because it seems like that would just screw with their personal relationship, but for now, treat it as a trial thing, maybe.
Sorry for wanting an aide that won't jeopardize all I'm currently doing at the most crucial moment because "out of contact or some other bullshit"

And Sayaka IS able to do that because "fuck Murderface what does she know"

I just really hope this won't come back to bite us in the tit
That's why Kyouko's operating with her, because Kyouko, for all the retarded she can be, WON'T pull that shit, and wouldn't let Sayaka get away with it.

Besides, Sayaka may a shit, but she's a professional, or she wouldn't have clawed her way up the rankings like she did.
We should keep disruptive elements of our office within our sights, really.

I feel if we get to keep her and kyouko as a joint unit under us it'll get her to lighten up, maybe.

if this was all for Sayaka alone, FUCK this would not be worth it, but as it stands, Kyouko + Sayaka combo has hella a lot of advantages to it.

Sayaka as an Equerry. It's a separate position to aide. We want Kyouko as the aide.

Those are the positions we want to offer,; what they're most suited for.

? I was thinking about Midori, Kyouko and Sayaka as aides. I just do not trust sayaka as the equiry or what ever
Sayaka as Equerry and Kyoko as Aide. That's the stipulation that QB put down.
Was it a stipulation or a suggestion? I thought he said he did not want to tell us how to run our half of the office
Regardless of how this goes.

at the end of this whole thing, with both sayaka and kyouko in the room, preferably while they're drinking, worst case while at the door.

"hey... whats it like between two girls?"

Suggestion actually.

A pretty good one really.
Right, yes. But we could take Sayaka as an aide for now and move her up to Equerry once she's proven she's not going to constantly ruin our lives. It was stated already that having multiple aides/no Equerry has precedent.

I think we could discuss it with Coobie, too; I'm sure he'll understand our...unease.

But speaking of, Coobie's interested in this business, and he put forth that suggestion. That means that from his standpoint it's still a good idea. I know most people are going to say "FUCK THE MUTANT CAT" here, but dude knows his shit.

And this one is... ok.
>but dude knows his shit.

He had Kharn and now us as his second-in-command, yo.
Agreed, though I'm still more in favour of Sayaka going straight to Equerry.

Partially because going aide -> Equerry makes it feel like we're promoting her over Kyouko, which feels weird.

on grounds of sheer batshit crazy killyness. And popularity, apparently.

He seems to run the stuff we don't just fine.
Because we might hurt their feelings? Kyouko is a big girl, I am pretty sure she will understand if we just tell her before promoting her girlfriend higher up.

Still wondering how he lost 800 or so magical girls in 6 months.
Whatever her personal failings, QB Industries saw a near doubling of its market share under Kharn's command. She was bloodthirsty and violent, but it still let QB absorb the Third's entire Officio and double his territory.
He also had Malal as Kharn's aide or Equerry (I think Equerry), and it was abundantly clear which of them was actually running things and which was mostly a figurehead. Likewise, I think we're in power because Kharn and Malal both trusted us, even if we don't remember it, and at Mami's recommendation, which also means a lot.
Deadpan: "So it looks like I'm going to be Warmaster now. And mutant cat asked me to appoint team to back me up. Specifically - Aide, Equerry and Secretary. I was thinking of picking you, Kyouko and Midori. As for who's gonna do what - wanna call dibs or should I just let you draw straws?"

> I distinctly remember you wanting to have both Sakura Kyoko and Miki Sayaka for aides, as well. Not unheard of, of course - the former Warmaster of the Eighth had three aides of her own, although she called them in more colorful names than that."

Pretty sure we can have more than one aide, there is no need for straws
That's actually a decent delivery.
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You ignore the half-hearted barb, and ask her what she wanted to talk to you about - as you place your mug of coffee back on the table, right on its coaster. You then lean back with your slice of cake, after making sure that it's not the one meant for Kyoko.

...The cake's good. It's obviously store-bought, but it's obviously expensive. Sayaka's made it painfully clear that she doesn't like you, but she went ahead and served you something that you'd have saved for yourself if you were in her place.

"...Yeah. About that." Sayaka takes a sip of coffee from her own mug - or rather, a deep slug from it - before exhaling and wiping her lips with her sleeve. "Two things. First, Minase Iori. Second, Kyoko." She takes another sip, before placing her mug down. "I've been spending some time with Iori, and while it's none of my fucking business, I think it's only my duty to remind you that she's a civilian. An important civilian client, and you should stop stringing her along." You open your mouth to protest this, but she holds up a hand to cut you off.

"I don't want to know, Murderface. From where I'm standing, it could be a misunderstanding, or you're giving her mixed signals, that's not the issue. What I do want you to know is that the girl has feelings for you, and if you don't cut it off with her, you're asking for trouble. You're..." Her face screws up in an expression reserved for someone talking about eating babies for lunch, "...Warmaster now. Don't be a second Kharn. Fuck around with Magical Girls all you like, but leave civilians out of it."

...Duly noted. And you were just about to thank her for taking care of Iori in your absence.

"Eh. It wasn't that much. Treated it as a sort of vacation. Got some shopping done, saw some neat stuff. Besides, Mami-san was pretty busy, and Kyoko was training the FNGs." Sayaka shrugs. "Nice kid, for an idol. She just has her heart set in the wrong place."

It's straight and to the point, but I would replace "mutant cat" with "Kyuubey" or "our boss".
Also, not until we hear why Sayaka called us over.

Right. Well. What about Kyoko, then?

"She told me about your offer of making her an aide." It's here that the atmosphere in the room suddenly becomes heavy, the blue-haired Eversor's eyes narrowing at yours. "She hasn't told me the complete specifics of it, but...just what the fuck are you planning, Murderface? Do you just want another gopher, like that broccolihead Kyuubey helped you pirate from the Tenth? Kyoko's in love with the idea, she won't shut up about it. Me, well, you can say I'm not so hot about it as she is. I think it's dangerous enough being a Magical Girl, but...being around you?" Sayaka scoffs as she reaches up to straighten her shirt's collar - the small shiver in her hand barely noticeable, but there. "She might as well wear a fucking bomb collar."

...And there it is. Beneath the layer of bitch, bared for all to see, is someone afraid that you'd take away everything they love just by existing.

How do you respond?
actually had a job offer for you too, similar position, mostly acting as naysmith to make sure i dont go crazy. er
"Why don't you become an aide too and keep an eye on her then?" delivered as deadpan as possible.
"...That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I want you both. You can keep an eye on her that way. And me. And you're one of the most capable Eversors in the Ninth. ...Both of you are free to refuse, though. We don't usually agree, but we're comrades, even if we can't be friends. Just...think about it. Talk it over with Kyouko."

"Why do you think I'd take away everything they love just by existing? I won't; you're coming with her, if you want it."

I like this one. Seconded

and what if Sayaka was to take a place, a position, right next to Kyoko?

what then?
>An important civilian client, and you should stop stringing her along."

We should ask for how she'd go about this later on but for now..

"We've been on assignments together many times, work well together and she has a good head on her shoulders, Even back then, Kyoukos always treated me fairly, of course she'd be one of the first people to come to mind for aide, God knows I'm not qualified for all this delegating shit.

If it makes you feel any better, I wasn't really gonna take her on unless I could get you onboard as well, figured you'd appreciate it, or so we've been told/advised[?]"
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Sayaka. I need help with this job. You're absolutely right. I'm a terrible choice for this but I'm stuck with it and at least I recognise that. Kyoko is much better at the more social parts this position needs than I am and no, I have no intention of making her a gopher, or you.

I wanted to offer you a position as well. As my Equerry. Then >>24528816
"You're worried that she'll be in danger? I don't doubt that. I wouldn't of chosen her if I didn't think she could handle it though.

Now, if you want to make sure she's safe... I have an offer. Become my... what's the word for a second aide? Whatever that is. You can look after her, and I get the two most capable Magical Girls in the officio. We all win. Hell, Kyoko will be even safer with you constantly there to watch over her than she is currently."
"Well, I've been thinking. Koyoko isn't going to take the job unless you agree. So, I want you to be my Equerry. You get to help cover Kyoko, she gets her role, and I get two of the best magical girls in the Officio to help me not fuck up my new job. What do you think?"
>I thought the deal included both of you or none. Is this you volunteering to take her place or flat out refusing the deal?


"And Midori is not a gopher. I owe her more than you could know. I think you can understand the sentiment."
Still say no to immediate Equerry, but I might be in the minority here

Add this to whatever we go for.
"Well, you're quite right that things are unreasonably dangerous around me. And your prior assessments of me being completely inadequate for my new job is also fairly on the mark.

Here's the short of it. I am a terrible people person. If I tell the Officio to jump, it will, but I can't inspire or motivate people like Kyouko can. Furthermore, really, *really* serious shit is in the process of going down, so hiring just a pretty face won't just cut it. I need the best of the best backing me up, fighters *and* leaders both.

And I need someone who's going to tell me when i'm being a fucking moron. Which is why, Sayaka, in addition to having Kyouko as my aide, I want you as Equerry. The two of you together are far stronger than either one alone. No way you're going to lose Kyouko if you're both looking after each other.

And if you're worried about gopher work; don't be. I'm having Midori as my secretary. For you and Kyouko, it's all proper work taking names and kicking ass. Mine too, if necessary.

So. Even if if the job's a bomb collar, at least you'll be in one together."
You're not the only one.
Question: Are we actually going to have Kyouko attached to us at the hip, or are we going to be using her as paperwork handler/slaughterbitch handler?

Because if it's the second then she's going to be LESS on the front lines than before and with better protection (though sent into dangerous missions).

We can reassure Sayaka about that, if that's how we're using Kyouko.
Call her a gopher one more fucking time and I WILL hurt you.
I'm not gonna mind my manners If you're not willing to

God damn, yes.
"No, I'm not asking for a gopher. I'm aware enough of my problems to know that I need help. And I've talked with Kyuubey about it, and he thinks that you would be a better fit for the position of Equerry."
It's not like not having her as an aide will put her in less danger. I'd like tot think that we' re smart enough to requisition whatever help we need from the Officio for dangerous missions, aides or not. Top Eversors included.
whatever wins this should be at the end.

chiaki would be the type to get defensive about people she really cares about, seeing how she used to act in regards to mami
Addendum: we should also clarify that we're not looking for a gopher and Midori...will be our secretary. Not a gopher. We owe her more dignity than that.
All of my yes. All of them
On those two subjects
I actually was going to ask if you knew a good way to let her down gently because I tried and it did not work at all
And for Kyouko, I want her to be my aide because I want someone I know I can trust and who can handle themselves.
However I have no intent of putting her in extra danger, you may not believe it but I value her as a friend alive far more than I value my own life.
That's why I want you to be my Equerry, you can ensure we take the minimum risks in everything we do
Talk about that issue when she officially accepts

I don't see reason for all the sudden worry about her becoming Equerry. It wouldn't be that higher than she already is in rank, and making her that as opposed to just an aide would be playing more to the strengths she already has. The only other decent candidate I can think of would be Kyouko, and she doesn't have the mindset for it.


Please no, not another "get fucked"

please sink this ship before it makes port
At least she called her a gopher and not a bed-warmer like her girlfriend did. Sayaka actually showed some restraint there.

Since when is gopher a giant insult, anyway?
Not same anon, but I think it just demeans her contributions as a whole. Sort of like calling her a pawn when she has clearly shown to be much more able than that. Though I agree them flipping their shit about her being called a gopher is a bit much.
Imagine us calling Kyouko whatever in front of Sayaka. Shitstorm imminent.

Two can play that game.

But yeah, I know what you mean

Yes, you're right. Clearly bitchpants McCrabby should just be left to freely shit over whoever she feels like.

My bad.
Adding to this

I would also thank you to not insult the person responsible for ensuring I came back from Siberia as human as I technically am instead of as a witch bent on killing everything, she is not a gopher and I don't intend to treat her as such
You can defend someone without flipping out. And she's more likely to respect it if we don't yell at her, too.

Kyouko didn't mean it as a jab, Sayaka did.

I'm not saying to bite her head off, just a terse and restrained correction that does not demean what Midori has done for Chiaki.

You're just as much of a bitchy whiner, if not more, and completely useless in normalizing relations here.
Oh no what is roleplayin socially awkward girl
Chiaki has more class than to make an outburst.

especially we noticed a tell that sayaka is scared as fuck of losing kyouko

if we're defending and insulting, we it with without stooping to a hair-trigger temper
We aren't spaghetti here we are business
You mean, more spaghetti.
and this
We're pretty good at keeping our cool though, especially when it comes to business

I think this is business at least.
losing our spaghetti awkwardly is endearing when its to midori, mami, or kyouko though
Socially awkward but with restored memories of not being awkward, as well as enough professionalism to not lose our shit like we used to do.

We've had character growth since those old days.
>losing our spaghetti to Midorin

It's usually the other way around. The proper way.
Enough to still snap when somebody throws shit at the person nearly equal to Mami
Calm down man, I don't think you know what your saying.
Midori is precious but not that precious
Yeah. Midori is clearly superior to Mami.
if you really want us to lose our cool we could drink a bit of the cup she gave us and slam it before giving her this line


not hard enough to break it, but enough to make noise
I like that.

I like that idea very much

She's very close, and for the amount of time we've known her and how fast her relationship with us is growing Its likely she'll surpass mami

I thought that accidentally crushing the mug in hand would be cooler.

"Sorry, about your coffee mug. I'll send you a new one tomorrow."

But that's just me.
Why are people so determined for Chiaki to lose her shit over this?
too comedy instead of hard-edged noir for this scene.

I like it but it just doesn't fit the mood right now
Seriously, just a comment is not enough together angry. Annoyed maybe but not enough worth too much noting
How about no. That's not in the character of our newly put together Chiaki, only of the old Murderface.

Clearly you haven't been reading. We're not allowed extreme reactions, because that might jeopardise our clearly blossoming friendship with Sayaka...
I think you underestimate just how important Mami is

Murderface basically imprinted onto her like a mother who through all her amnesia bullshit never forgot

Midori is great, but there is a ridiculous gap between them
I don't really know, you'd think people would realize her character development after LITERALLY HAVING A HOMU-CEPTION and merging.

I think a subtle,slight quick thing would be a good compromise, it'd be akin to clicking your tongue audibly when something you disprove of happens.
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>That's right. Kyoko's favorite is Donald Duck. Mainly because she finds how disproportionately angry he gets hilarious.
Do you love your girlfriend like you love your mother

that is basically midori and mami's roles to Chiaki in a nutshell
Whatever keeps the Officio's two top active duty Magical Girls from attempting to retire each other.
Murderface is still part of that, though.

Hell, Homura actually did really dislike Sayaka.

She blew up Witch Sayaka the first time round, with barely two thoughts about it, and it only got worse from there.
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This is made of diamonds.
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Not even annoyed, we're above that. We know what must be done to avenge Midori's honour now.
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Decu, please update quick before the Angry!tards try to shoot Sayaka.

could always do something like

a long pause while cringing our face with our eye's closed [I forget the term for that kind of aggravated thinking face]


"Hey, I know you care about Kyouko, but please leave Midori out of this (our spats)"
No but the difference is someone who came into your life a week ago as opposed to a person who has been there and caring for you through all sorts of shit for more than a year

Unless you are an idiot you don't forget something like that or replace someone like that so quickly
Never. Her gazongas aren't quite as plush.
but both Mami's saving us and Midori's saving us have nearly the same weight

Obviously is gonna be ahead seeing as she's known us longer, but we have a place for midori in our heart now too.

hey guys, quick derail poll, if we had to make the difficult choice between Midori and Mami, who would you choose? (to not die)
Fuck the script, save everyone.
Midori would tell us so
I just don't think Chiaki's going to really be that mad about the gopher comment. It's barely an aggressive turn of phrase, and we're not going to blow up every time someone dares to not put Midorin on a pedestal.
>Post reasonable suggestion
>Come back 15 minutes later
>"The only option is MURDER!"

Really guys?
I'd say Midori.

Mami already has herself looking out for herself.
We're the Hero. The Hero doesn't need to choose.
Midori. Sorry, Mami. I came to terms with your death like ninety threads and nine episodes ago.
that was just one guy, it was probably a joke too.

calm down.

I bet decu is writing right now anyawy.
I am not debating that we do care for Midori far more than we do almost anyone but Mami is the exception to that rule.

She is a distant second, but a damn sight closer than anybody ever got and still closing

Straws break camel's backs. The most innocuous statement on top of a heap of bitchiness can be enough to make someone snap...
As amazing as Mami is, I'd say Midori.
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You need to buy better camels if straw breaks their backs

Maybe crazy Hassan's slightly used camels which can carry far more than straw

yes I realize the saying but I couldn't help but be a dick
Alright then, glad we see eye to eye.


You could be giving a whole not-give-a-fuck attitude or "its alright, I just gotta put up with this" during a bunch of shitty things

and then ONE little thing happens, like someone says the wrong thing to you, or you stub your toe on a chair maybe.

You'll explode, that pent up aggravation has to come out sometime.

I don't think we should make a scene over her mentioning midori like that, but we should make it clear that she's not a golfer

Worth it for Crazy Hassan. I forgive you.
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Vote for this
I probably too late
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This line of thought cannot end well.
don't forget this

We don't need to make it snappy, be sincere with the fact you're not appreciative of that comment but nothing more.
90 threads ago?

>>24529299 >>24529339

"Comrades, huh?" Sayaka replies after a while, gloomily staring into her cup of coffee. "I've talked it over with her. At length. We've fought twice over it, too. The cake you're eating is the one I baked the day before yesterday as an apology." She takes another sip of her coffee, draining the mug empty, before placing it back on the table. "Look, I know worrying about her safety is stupid, in...in our line of work. I'm not that optimistic or that deluded. I just..." She lets out a sigh as she leans back, hanging her head.

"I just wanted to see what kind of Warmaster you're going to be. If it was Mami in your place and she asked Kyoko to be her aide, she wouldn't have heard a peep from me. I...I just don't want Kyoko to die sacrificing herself for the second coming of Kharn. I don't want her dying pointlessly, sent to her death by another fucking maniac who thinks that 'tactical retreat' is a totally fucking alien concept." She mimes the quotation marks here.

Well, if she hadn't noticed, you're not Kharn--

"I'm getting to that. I know you're not." Sayaka laughs, this time, and you could tell that the tension here is slowly ebbing. Not too quickly, but enough that it's not so heavy now. "And I'm glad for that. You came here despite...well, despite how we usually are, with each other. You even gave the both of us the choice to refuse, even if it's well within your rights as Warmaster to just order her into the position. Of course, I'd have gutted you like a fish for it - no, I don't particularly care if that got me retired, it's the principle of the thing - but the point is, you didn't. Kharn would've. A lot of the other Warmasters would've." She breathes out slowly. "So, what I'm saying here, Murderface, is..."

She pauses here, looking down at her hands, before looking up at you. Her blue eyes, startlingly clear, piercing yours.

Decu plz post and end the hate once and for all
Before MGNQ started.
Mother of fuck.

"...if Kyoko still wants to be your aide, you've got her. And...and I suppose you've got me, too. Either the both of us, or none at all." A moment of awkward silence. "But don't think I'm turning into one of your goddamn fans, or something. If I see that golden shit turning you into how Kirika was before you retired her, you're done."

...Huh. Well. That didn't turn out as nastily as you thought.

You sip your own coffee for a while, before moving to finish off your slice of cake. You mention that while you're glad that she agrees, there's just one thing you want to correct.

"Yeah? What's that?"

That Midori wasn't a gopher. Never was. You owe her more than she could ever know.

"...Right. I heard about something like that. Again, I don't care about the details, but sure. I won't make that mistake again."

Heh. Well, for being such a bitch, you're suprised that Sayaka is somewhat civil.

"I'm always civil. Just not to you." Sayaka makes to polish off her own slice of cake as well. "Along with a bunch of other folks, but we don't need to get into that."

The two of you share this...rare moment of comfortable silence, before Kyoko comes into the scene, wearing the casual stuff you've always seen her in while not on duty - that being the black sleeveless shirt under a teal hooded jacket and short denim cutoffs. She's forgoed the teal jacket, seeing as you're all indoors, and her hair is down. The wet sheen on her hair and the scent of vanilla soap marking her out as clearly fresh from the shower.

"Hah! And here I thought I'd find you guys trying to stab each other in the face with the dessert forks, an' stuff!" Kyoko grins as she sits beside Sayaka, throwing one arm around the blue-haired Eversor. It's here you feel another stab of jealousy. "So, uh, what did you guys talk about?"

"...Comrade stuff." Sayaka says after a moment. "Right, Murderface?"

"Yeah." You nod, spearing the lone strawberry on your cake.

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"Huh. Alright." Kyoko, puzzled yet pleasantly surprised, looks at both of you in turn. "Well, I...guess that's good?"

"Sure." Sayaka shrugs, before wincing. "G-geh! Kyoko, your hands're still wet! See, you're soaking my shirt!"

"Aw, not too much, just a little bit. Hee."

"H-hey! Not in front of Murderface...!"


What do you do now? It seems that the mood's improved somewhat.

[]Ask about the sword.
[]Ask about the tortoise.
[]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.

As a vocal member of the return-bitchiness-for-bitchiness crowd. I... stand corrected.
[x] ask about the tortoise
[x] ask about the sword
[x] Just curious but How is it between two girls? (channel the moemura)
>[]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.

Things are done, get out, go sleep.

Time to go. Let them have their couple time.

We need to scope out our new apartment anyway.
Ask about the sword then leave
We don't want to intrude too much more but that sword is niggling at our attention
>[x] Evacuate before we fuck it up.

No need to press our luck.
>[x] Ask about gunsword. And I guess tortoise.
Maybe now that we're comrades, we CAN start taking steps toward being friends. We can afford to try and be a little more friendly before we leave.

>[]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.

we've done our part, how are we getting to our new apartment from here?
>[X]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.
>[X]Ask about the sword.

Stand up and tell Kyouko that you'll grab a cab to your new apartment, she doesn't need to drive you there. On your way out, ask about the sword.
>[x]Ask if Mami's been standing in for some of our work, and if they know of any priority items we should see to.
>[]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.
Don't want to ruin the mood, and we can always ask Kyoko about the tortoise tomorrow.
I think I've been looking at too much art, I think I actually recognize which artist did this one.
>Time to get the fuck out.
And when we're halfway trough the door, ask "How is it between two girls?"
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Everything went better then expected.

>[x]Take your leave. That's all you came for, you don't need to take up more of their time.

Lets leave them to do their love love stuff.

I'm tempted to go "You don't have to drive me home Kyoko. I'll find my own way back." But thinking about it. How far are we from our new apartment?
>you'll grab a cab to your new apartment, she doesn't need to drive you there
Most definitely this; she just showered, so it'd be inconsiderate to make her drive.
and when the the atmosphere goes heavy as fuck

"n-n-n-nevermind" and slam the door.
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"I'm curious about the sword and tortoise, but that would be untoward of me. Thanks for the cake. I'll see you tomorrow."

If only Sayaka weren't so annoyingly straightedge. Some booze right about here would be great for finishing the breaking of the ice.
And paving the way for a drunken threesome
Ask about the sword then leave
on second thought

"tch. Forget about it/Nevermind" would probably be more fitting, as much as a slight stutter of "n-nevermind" would be