Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Harry%20Potter%20Nasuverse%20QuestTwitter: https://twitter.com/HPNasuQuest=====You are Harry James Potter, and you learned three months ago that you are a magus. You've tried learning the basics from your best friend - Illyasviel von Einzbern - but that put you in a coma for most of those three months. You think you'll stick to learning from her father, Kiritsugu, to whom you are apprenticed. Outside of the von Einzberns, you don't really have that many friends. You don't really like most people, and those who do wrong by you and yours you hate with all of your hatred. You've resolved to be a better person than your relatives, and strive to act with compassion towards strangers.At the present moment, you're currently chatting with a young woman named Tonks who is apparently capable of changing her shape at will regarding the nature of your ability to talk to snakes. According to her, most people in Britain associate it with the douchebag who went and bounced the Killing Curse off of your forehead when you were a baby.You're also debating whether or not you want to take any of the snakes that you've been talking to home. The golden scaled one seems to have more to it than meets the eye, though it may well be talking out of its... tail. The one with the cutesy voice seems the most intelligent out of the bunch, as she can, apparently, read the Queen's English enough to know about Voldemort. The pompous one seems like an jerkhead, though."So, kiddo, you want to take any of these fella's back home with you?" Tonks asks.You...>Want to take the Golden one>Want to take the Cutesy one>Want to take the Pompous one>Want to browse some of the other animals>[OTHER]
Harry James Potter[ATTRIBUTES] Strength - D+ "You're a wiry lad, built fo speed more than strength." Agility - A "You're fast on your feet and quick with your reflexes" Endurance - C+ "You're cousin's made sure you can take a beating." Intelligence - B+ "You're no genius, but you're smarter than most." Luck - B "You've got better luck than most." Circuit Quality (CQ) - A [13 Prana per Circuit] Circuit Quantity (CC) - B+ [26 Circuits, one of which has been opened]Magic Circuits Open - 1/26Prana Available - 13/13Wounds - 0/6[SKILLRATINGS] Academics (Mundane) [INT] - E+ Academics (Magecraft) [INT] - E[8 (10)] Academics (Wizarding) [INT] - F (E+) Acrobatics [AGI] - D Athletics [END] - D Capioera [AGI] - F Cooking [AGI] - D Craft (Mystic Codes) [INT] - F Discernment - E+ Mystic Eye Lore [LCK] - E Origin Magic [CQ] - F Reinforcement [CQ] - E Stealth [AGI] - E+ Wandlore [CQ] - F[TRAITS]Spiteful - Your stealth rating increases by 2 when you're out for revenge.Compassionate - Your healing spells cure one additional wound.[PERKS]Devil's Luck - You may temporarily reduce your luck attribute by 1 step to negate a critical hit against you.Practiced Runner - Your Athletics rating is increased by 2 when running.Multitasker I - Multitasking penalties to skill checks are reduced by 1.Mystic Eyes of Death Perception - You see the Death of things, and deal additional wounds when using a knife.Parseltongue - You possess the ability to understand and speeak the language spoken by snakes and certain other reptiles.??? - ???
179 GalleonsMARTIN MIGGS Omnibus - Improves Fun Rating By 10Spellcraft for Squibs - Improves Academics (Wizarding) by 1 rank if below Rank B, 2 ranks if below Rank D, if you consult it during a check.Maple and Dryad Wand - Heal 1 Additional Wound when using Wand MagicHogwarts Uniforms - The most fashionable clothes you've seen come out of the Wizarding World thus far.
>>24768783was golden one the one that kept calling us mongrel?
>>24768937Yes, it was.
>>24768783>Want to take the Golden one
>>24769126Can we ask the prices for the golden one and the hawk?
>>24768783>>Want to take the Golden onefuck yea talking bling,bling
>>24769187Yeah i want the hawk and the gold snake.Hawks don;t eat snakes do they?What do hawks eat? Mice?
>>24768783I would take the Golden snake, because of it's apparent popularity, but the hawk also seems to have quite a lot of merits:-Atreides-Can be used as a messenger-Extremely fast, can intercept post owlsSo I vote for both.
New Idea - Ask to look at the Eagle, then ask them if they have a cactus
>>24769254Nah, we should be able to feed them with small birds and rodents.Rodents like mice or WORMTAILED RATS, if you know what I mean
>>24769311Snakes swallow thing whole. I just had a horrible image of Wormtail changing back to human inside our new snake making it explode.
>>24769360but after they kill them, with strangulation or venom depending on the snake
>>24769360implying he is not possessions
Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb>>24768783Definately buying the golden snake, although >>24769187 is fine too.
"I'd like to take the Golden one home" you say. "He's got quite and interesting... personality on him, even if most of it is hot air. How much is he?"Tonks shifts back to her original, pink haired form - which, in the back of your mind, you have begun to label "default" - and rubbed her chin in thought."Well..." she says. "The snake himself will put you back 10 galleons - he's a rare breed, but he's been here as long as I can remember." She looks at the golden fellow almost wistfully. "So I imagine the boss will be just as happy to get rid of him. The supplies, on the other hand, will be a fair bit more expensive."She frowns, staring at the ceiling in thought."Given that the boss will probably brag about how 'the boy-who-lived' shopped here, I can probably get you close to wholesale on the stuff you'll need to keep him," she says. "Put that at another 10 galleons, or fifteen if you want one of those 'seedrat' boxes."She makes a face."Might squick Mr. Gold out, though," she concedes. "The rats are real - 100% genuine... but seedrat boxes grow them from... well... you're muggle raised, they'll have taught you about that sort of thing by now..."You...>Ask her what she means by "that sort of thing">Ask her what she means by "grown">Ask the Golden Snake what he'd think of seedrats.>Ask about how much the Hawk would cost.>[OTHER]
>>24768783Ask the snakes their opinions on us buying them. do any of them even want us to buy them?
Rolled 15, 1, 13 = 29>>24769580>>Ask her what she means by "that sort of thing"then >Ask her what she means by "grown"?also do this first.>Ask the Golden Snake what he'd think of seedrats.
>>24769580>Ask the Golden Snake what he'd think of seedrats.
>>24769580>>Ask the Golden Snake what he'd think of seedrats.>Ask about how much the Hawk would cost.These>Ask her what she means by "that sort of thing">Ask her what she means by "grown"are probably best left for Iri to explain
>>24769580Ask what the snake wants. After all we got loadsamoney.jpeg
>>24769580>>Ask the Golden Snake what he'd think of seedrats.>>Ask about how much the Hawk would cost.Those.
>>24769580>Ask IRI what she means by "that sort of thing"ufufu
>>24769580>>Ask about how much the Hawk would cost.
>>24769580Get the freaking hawk
"Why don't I ask Mr. Gold his opinion?" you ask.Tonks shrugs. The thought likely hadn't really crossed her mind - it was probably difficult to imagine something as a sentient being if you weren't capable of communicating with it on the same level which you communicate with your peers. This probably has some philosophical implications for the nature of humanity and its relationship with the world, but you're ten, and ten is far too young to really care about that sort of thing."Go right ahead!" Tonks says. "It's kind of interesting to watch, to be honest."You turn to the golden snake, who tilts his head at you inquisitively."What'sss up, cholo?" he asks."Do you know what a seedrat box is?" you ask."Yesss, asss a matter of fact," he twitches his tail towards a dog-house looking thing in the corner of his cage. "That'sss one of them. A very... convenient invention from you humansss, the likesss of which I haven't ssseen before I came here.""What's it do?""It makesss food, cholo," he hisses bluntly. "I do not know how, but every day, a fresssh rat ssshows up inssside. They ssseem to not be ssso clever, though playing with them isss sssomewhat amusssing.""They any good?" you ask."A rat isss a rat, cholo." He... you think he does the snake equivalent of shrugging. "They are nothing to complain about, thisss isss sssertain. Though hunting them would be far more... amusssing.You turn back to Tonks."He seems to be fine with them," you concede, "So it'll probably be worth it." A light goes off in your head, remembering the Hawk. "There was also a cool looking hawk I saw, back in the bird section. How much would one of those cost?""About the same," Tonks replies. "Though you better be ready to deal with a ruckus - snakes and birds tend not to get along that well..."You...>Decide to just go with the Golden Snake.>Decide to get both the Hawk and the Snake.>Decide to get just the Hawk.>[OTHER]
>>24769886Both the hawk and the snake.
>>24769886>Splinch the two together, solve all problems
>>24769886>Decide to just go with the Golden Snake. we haven't even asked Kiritsugu if we could get a pet, a small one like the snake is good with the added benefit of a magic link to snakes to explore, also getting both is too expensive.
>>24769886>>Decide to get both the Hawk and the Snake.If there is too much noise, we tell the snake to shut it and let he hawk hunt outside.
>>24769886just the snake who knows what else we want to get here we can get a Hawk, or owl right before school, if we still want/need one.
>>24769886We'll do THAT
>>24769886>>Decide to get both the Hawk and the Snake.Surely someone in the family can work out a magical IFF for the hawk, or at least teach it to recognize Mr. Gold as not-food.
>>24769971This man is wise
>>24769886Ask the snake how he feels about the hawk
>>24769917>>24769961>>24769982I feel so bad for Kiritsugu. "so I adopted this kid and he turns my house into a zoo."
>>24769886>Decide to just go with the Golden Snake.
>>24769975But that hasn't even been tested....
Oh, I thought we were going to get two snakes. Wish I had shown up earlier to throw my 2 cents in.
It'd probably be better to just get the snake, but it doesn't look like we're going that direction....
>>24769886>Get KinKobra>Wear him as a headdress>Gain the fealty of all reptiles>Create a spell that shoots snakes>Snake fucking everything
>>24770205>Gee Harry, how come your mom lets you have two snakes?>NO DEATH!
It is very tempting to go with both the Hawk and the Snake. Very tempting indeed. Hawks are awesome, and owning one would make you feel even more like a member of House Atreides, which should totally be a House at Hogwarts. But the hawk was probably a bad idea in the first place - you wouldn't have been able to sneak around with it, the way you would with the Golden Snake. More importantly, it might wind up bothering the von Einzberns, which is the last thing you want to do."Yeah, that was a silly idea anyways," you say, looking wistfully towards the bird aisle. Some day... some day. "I think I'll just take the Mr. Gold over there."Tonks nods. "I'll go get the rest of the stuff you'll need for him." She smiles a wicked, cat like grin. "Why don't you and he get better acquainted, Mr. Snake Charmer."She unlocks the Golden snake's cage, and gingerly picks him up, passing him to you. He's maybe a yard long a most, and is just wide enough to swallow a good sized mouse. You take him, and he curls around your right arm."'Ey, cholo," he hisses, disappearing up your wide sleeve. "Thisss isss nissse and warm. If you're gonna be taking me from thisss plassse, then I'm gonna have to claim thisss ssspot asss my own."Tonks giggles. "Little guy seems to have taken a liking to you. Does he have a name?""No," you say. "He said it's been too long since he needed one; he forgot it.""Well," she says, "I'd imagine he needs one now. Try to think of one by the time you leave." With that, she goes off to assemble the requisite equipment for snake keeping.You...>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.>See if there's anything particularly neat in the shop [Roll 3d6]>Go straight to the register to pick things up.>[OTHER]>Choose Name for [GOLD SNAKE]
>>24770298Name him KinKaiser
>>24770280>>Create a spell that shoots snakesSerpensortia.
>>24770298>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.And>KinKobra
Rolled 1, 6, 4 = 11>>24770298Ouroboros."Orry" for short.Also, >Neat things in shop!
>>24770298>>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.and show her Gil
Rolled 3, 4, 5 = 12>>24770298>>See if there's anything particularly neat in the shop [Roll 3d6]Aw yeah, nigga.He's gold, right? Call him Rothstein, or Sandberg, or some other Jew name.
>>24770298>She smiles a wicked, cat like grin.>not using this imageIt's okay OP.I forgive you.>>24770298>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.
>>24770298Before we get with the naming, what kind of snake is it? Cant really name him anything punny without the right snake type
Rolled 2, 3, 2 = 7>>24770401Golden Lancehead?
>>24770298The snake must be known as Douglass. Because archaic human names make the best pet names.
>>24770451Don't you mean Douglassssss?
Solomon, Hades, or Xana.Them's my votes.
Rolled 4, 4, 1 = 9>>24770298>See if there's anything particularly neat in the shopHow about Gilgaconda
>>24770298>>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.Not that I don't trust her, but...
>>24770298Oh yeah, and >Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.
Yeah, maybe we SHOULD call it Gilgamesh. It would get a laugh (vague smile?) out of Kerry, at least.
>>24770298KinKaiser has my vote.
>>24770512Either this or Nehushtan.
>>24770298>Head over to see what Illya has gotten up to.I vote gilgamesh
I vote gilgamesh or Kincobra
>>24770326Auroboros. Because he's gold.>>24770430I really hope we aren't getting E-Rank Luck: Snake Edition.>>24770512I definitely agree with naming him SOMETHING Gilgamesh-related, since not only is it appropriate to the crossover at hand, but in the actual Epic of Gilgamesh, the snake in question steals and eats a plant that makes him young again, which basically makes the story a parable about the impossibility of postponing death.Which seems like a pretty good way of poking fun at Voldemort, if you ask me.
>>24770617If he actually is a cobra, Kincobra has my vote.
>>24770626>I definitely agree with naming him SOMETHING Gilgamesh-related, since not only is it appropriate to the crossover at hand, but in the actual Epic of Gilgamesh, the snake in question steals and eats a plant that makes him young again, which basically makes the story a parable about the impossibility of postponing death.Hey, wow, I had a vague thought relating to that. Nice to see that someone could articulate it. Something relating to Gil would be best, even if his name doesn't end up being Gilgamesh.
>>24770626Lancers may have shit luck, but they are the broest of bros.
>>24770671Yeah, that's why I mentioned the Lancehead. It was the most consistently gold-colored snake I could find, it's fucking rare, and Lancers are bros. It would have to have a more heroic death than Hedwig did.
>>24770701Goes out engaging Nagini in MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT! while we fight Voldy?
>>24770655Something to do with the death of Gilgamesh could be good, since it was the snakes fault he did not become immortal.
>>24770760Euphrates was the name of the river that was redirected to cover his tomb (Which he built himself). Snakes and rivers are similar I guess.
>>24770807>Gil built his own tombSo was Gilthe first Master of Death or something? Are the Deathly Hallows in his Treasury??
>First to Three: Gilgamesh"Say," you whisper to the golden serpent as you walk to the front of the store, "what sort of snake are you, anyways? I don't remember reading about any snakes like you in biology class... then again, they hardly covered everything..."You feel him tilting his head in confusion."I'm a sssnake, cholo," he says, matter of factly. "And a sssnake isss a sssnake, jussst like a rat isss a rat, yeah?""Well, no," you say. Some people are giving you a strange look, as you probably look like you're just hissing into the air. You ignore them. "There are a bunch of different types. Anacondas, Cobras, vipers, all sorts - you've got to be one of those, don't you?""No man," he says. "I'm jussst a sssnake. Jussst like my popsss wasss a sssnake, and jussst like hisss popsss wasss a sssnake, all the way back to our great, great, great, great grandpopsss, who alwaysss went on and on about how he wasss the firssst sssnake." You can feel him nodding. "I think he wasss full of hot air, though, cholo - popsss alwaysss said that the plantsss he usssed to eat made him a bit looney."Huh. Well, there's something to think about. Oh, and there's Illya - she's still playing with the puppies, though the little guys seem to be all tuckered out. You sneak up behind her, formulating a clever prank to pull upon her."Alright, buddy," you say to the snake. "Slither just far out enough, and give her a little scare for me, will you?""I don't sssee the point of thisss," he says. "Isss thisss sssome sssort of human mating ritual?""Just do it."The snake shakes his head, and slithers just out of your sleeve, coming to a rest on Illya's shoulder. Slowly, he begins to curl up and around, until his head is level with her ear. His tongue darts out, and she gives a bit of a start, turning towards you and...
>>24770882Gives adorable goo-goo as to your new pal."Oh my god it's sooo~ cute!" she says! "Are you gonna bring him home, Harry? What are you gonna name him? I think you should name him Gilgamesh! Gilgamesh helped papa win the war last time, and he was all gold and stuff, just like this little guy! But will papa let you keep him? I hope so, he's sooo~ cute.""That isss a powerful name, cholo," the snake says. "If I am to have one... Gilgamesssh will do... nisssely."You...>Tell Illya, yes, you'll be bring him home.>Worry about Mr. Kiritsugu's reaction to Gil.>Ask Illya if she thinks everything is cute.>[OTHER]
>Teenage Tonks>Looks like NonoDON'T TEMPT ME AWAY FROM ILLYA DAMN YOU NERO!
>>24770888>Tell Illya, yes, you'll be bring him home.>Ask Illya if she thinks everything is cute.
>>24770888Yep, totally bringing him home
But if the snake is named Gilgamesh then Illya's little brother can't be.
>>24770888>Tell Illya, yes, you'll be bring him home.
>>24770298>>24770882>>24770888Uh, Prof, I think 4chan ate your trip.>Ask Illya if she thinks everything is cute.
>>24770917Give that nigga a good Aryan name.>>24770888>>Ask Illya if she thinks everything is cute.
>>24770917Iri will be mildly disappointed. Kiritsugu, on the other had, will be over joyed.>>24770933Oh, shit, just noticed that. Thanks for the heads up.
>>24770888>>Tell Illya, yes, you'll be bring him home. then >Worry about Mr. Kiritsugu's reaction to Gil.
>>24770958And then the kid ends up named Kirei.
>>24770888>Tell Illya, yes, you'll be bringing him home.>Ask Illya if she thinks everything is cute.
>>24770904This is sound. And Naming the snake Gilgamesh thus meaning Kiri has to let us keep it is a go.
Is getting a snake going to push us more towards or away from Slytherin? (hufflepuff4lyfe)
"Yep!" you tell Illya. "This little guy will be coming with us - I was actually just headed up to register to pay for everything." You beckon for her to follow you. "He likes the name that you gave to him, by the way - I think we'll stick with it."Illya looks at you with happy eyes."That's adorable!" she says. "The bond that the two of you share is so strong already that you know what he's feeling! That's sooo~ sweet!"You shake your head in amusement."Actually, he told me," you tell her.Illya stops for a moment, a wide shock face of disbelief replacing her happy smile."Eh?" she all but shouts. "Harry, you can talk to snakes?"Half the patrons nearby turn to the two of you, giving you looks mixed with curiosity, fear and distaste. You get a bit angry - who are they to judge you - but you do not let it master you. So much for keeping your ability on the down low.You...>Facepalm, explain things to Illya>Hold yourself high and denounce the prejudice people hodl towards speakers.>Slink towards the register, hoping no one notices you>[OTHER]
When Harry gets to Hogwarts, he's gotta take some theoretical magic classes with Hermione so he can modify the Serpensortia spell and become a master Serpensmancer or whatever. Why use Avada Kedavra when you can chuck sapient Australian vipers at your enemies?But he should not go to Slytherin, because going into the Designated Evil House is fucking stupid if you want to have anything more than 1/4 of the total population of the school on your side.
>>24771157Could be either, though i feel it would be more accepted in slytherin than elsewhere.>Facepalm, explain things to Illya
>>24771210>Hold yourself high and denounce the prejudice people hodl towards speakers."What are you lookin' at, cholo?!"Clearly these mongrels are just jealous.
>>24771157Hufflepuffs tend to like animals in general more than other houses.>>24771210>>Hold yourself high and denounce the prejudice people hodl towards speakers.Martin Luther Snake Jr.
>>24771210Call everyone who looks at you cholos. Esplain how awesome snake talking is.
>>24771210>Hold yourself high and denounce the prejudice people hodl towards speakers.
>>24771210>>Facepalm, explain things to Illyano at this point thats probable the lines of death for our head, and if we do it our face caves in.do this >Hold yourself high and denounce the prejudice people hodl towards speakers.
>>24771210>Facepalm, explain things to Illya >WALK to the register with her, not caring if anyone notices you. Because you're awesome.
>>24771283>no at this point thats probable the lines of death for our head, and if we do it our face caves in.MEoDP only work if you can actually see the line or dot you're cutting. It's still incredibly reckless for us to be out and about with mystic eye killers but our face is safe.
>>24771210>Hold yourself high and BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT SPEAKERS
I eagerly await the Daily Prophet running articles about The Boy Who Lived being potentially another Dark Lord 6 years early.
>>24771390Harry's eyes aren't as jury-rigged as Tohno's. He's fine without eye-killers, but only as long as he don't see something with an end he can't understand.Eye killers will be necessary before going to Hogwarts, however. Hogwarts will fuck Harry up.
>>24771432>The Boy Who Lived being potentially another Dark Lord 6 years earAt which point we patiently explain to them that actually calling yourself a dark lord and ruling through fear is INCREDIBLY inefficient, and that if we were, no one would know it because we actually know what subtlety is
>>24771432Then we join Hufflepuff.Slytherins faces when...
>>24771432I look forward to Harry investing in the Quibbler 5 years early.
>>24771461>He's fine without eye-killers, but only as long as he don't see something with an end he can't understand.I was more concerned about our fingernail catching on something it shouldn't.
>>24771464That's stupid. By explaining it, you're basically announcing that it's your plan. Even if it isn't.
>>24771464"If I wanted to become a heartless, sociopathic monster with no regard for human life I wouldn't become a Dark Lord, I'd become a politician."
>>24771531>"If I wanted to become a heartless, sociopathic monster with no regard for human life I wouldn't become a Dark Lord, I'd become a journalist."ftfy
>>24771526which is why that ISN'T our plan
>>24771531Sometimes I fear that, rather than become Shiki Tohno in Hogwarts, we'll become Wizard Calvin and Snake Hobbes featuring yandere Suzy.
Please tell me we're going to finish this shopping trip in this thread. At this rate we'll reach Hogwarts in a few years of threads.
>>24771572> Wizard Calvin and Snake Hobbes featuring yandere SuzyI see no problem with this if it means we can beat voldemort through a game of Calvinball
>>24771572And this is bad?
>>24771572All the best protagonists are bat-shit insane. Harry, therefore, will be no exception. Besides, even you wanted him to be a normal person, you should have gotten him a normal Origin.
>>24771548Yes, but if we were to break down why only a moron would call himself a dark lord, we're asking for them to call us one no matter what we say or do. A brilliant schemer must keep anyone from knowing what a brilliant schemer he is, hmmmmaaaah.
>>24771584We finish the shopping trip this thread, then spend the next ten on the train!
>Why not both.jpgYou refrain from facepalming. Mostly because you can see the lines in your own face, and touching your face that broadly would probably have dire consequences. You've been trying to ignore the lines, and let them and the disturbing images they bring fade from the forefront of your vision. It's been working, but still..."Yes, Illya, I can talk to snakes," you explain to her. A bit louder, you continue, "It's a rare wizarding gift, that in recent times has been associated mostly with the jerk who bounced the killing curse off of my forehead, so -some- people tend to judge the speaker on the actions of previous speakers, rather than their own."Illya frowns, looking a bit downcast."Oh," she mumbles. "I basically just announced to the world that you're an evil wizard, didn't I."You shake your head, taking her by the hand and resuming your walk towards the register."No," you respond. "You just announced to the world that I'm a parseltongue, is all. It'll be the people who heard you who will decide whether that alone is enough to lump me with the likes of that jerk." You ignore the looks that some of the people are giving you. "Personally, though, I'd prefer if they lumped me with the likes of Saint Patrick, instead.""He was a parseltongue?" Illya asks. "Makes as much sense as anything else, if he drove the snakes out of Ireland."A young redheaded girl, probably a year younger than you and Illya, steps between you and the register, tears welling up in her eyes."Harry Potter, how could you!?" she whines, her voice filled with betrayal. Illya seems to have a strange glint in her eyes, her hands twitching... you swear she mutters something about 'redheads...'You...>Sidestep the girl>Let Illya deal with her>Ask her what she's talking about>[OTHER]
>>24771591>You may be able to make a horocrux>Hell, you might be able to make 7>But tell me, "Dark Lord"...>Can You Jam?http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgtxb9yBggc
>>24771627Ask her what she's talking about.
>>24771627>Ask her what she's talking aboutO hai Ginny.inb4 psychotic harmonians
>>24771627>Ask her what she's talking aboutYour father was very explicit about what happens if I break your heart
>>24771627I want Ilya to beat the shit out of her. Let's she if she does.
>>24771591>>24771597>>24771604Calvin is a snide, clever, but supremely lazy asshole that only puts effort into things if the result will be funny. That's Gryffindor material, and Gryffindor is boring. It might also be Ravenclaw, though.
>>24771663I meant Shiki. Shiki was nuts.
>>24771663>only puts effort into things if the result will be funnyReally, if it interests him at all.Kid can memorize useless shit about dinosaurs or snakes, but his grades suck on toast because he's so goddamn lazy.
>>24771627" Harry von Einzberns Potter, but nice to meet you" (extend hand)
>>24771627>You lost me
Ask what she's talking about.
>>24771638I dont think wizards know how basketball works
>>24771627>>Let Illya deal with herFEED HER TO THE IMOUTO
>>24771727I don't know, Quidditch is close enough.
>>24771727Okay, so that's ANOTHER thing to blow their minds with.First we give them the gift of Daft Punk, then we give them the gift of Barkley.
>>24771727Might as well show them.
>>24771735>implying Illya isn't older than Harry.Harry's birthday is the 31st of July, Illya's is the 30th of May.We're going to grow up to be her younger man.
>>24771727Its quidditch, minus bludgers and snitch, brooms, and each team only has 1 hoop.and a time limit
>>24771627>You're going to have to be more specific, miss.
>>24771627>Ask her what she's talking aboutExplain yourself, tiny redheaded person!
>>24771772It doesn't matter how much older she is, Ilya is part of the genus Imouto
>>24771772She was a few years older than Shirou, but she was still his imouto.
>>24771772Nigga, if you dare imply that Ilya is older than anyone within earshot of her she will tear out your soul and jam it into a Mr. Potato Head.Remember, Shirou was younger, too.
>>24771793>>24771812>>24771828Just accept that compared to our youthful protagonist, Illya is an old hag.
>>24771922Nigger, I will fight you.
>>24771922You.You die first.
>>24771922BEHEAD THOSE WHO INSULT OUR WAIFUMOUTO
>>24771952Come at me bro
"You lost me..." you begin.Who the heck is this girl again?"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Harry Potter!" she says.You stare at her for a moment, and then turn towards Illya. She is fuming, and you worry that if you don't resolve this situation soon, she may just start throeing her alchemy around. You wonder for a moment why this random, misinformed young girl is infuriating your best friend so much, but that can be resolved later."No, really," you tell her, "I don't.""You're... you're supposed to be a hero, not a-"Before the redheaded girl has a chance to continue her rant, a blue haired Tonks comes up from behind her and starts pinching her cheeks. The tears in her eyes actually start falling now, as the older girl's tormenting starts to get to her. Tonks shrinks down to her level, and starts berating her."Ginny Weasley," Tonks says, "Am I going to have to tell Charlie how you're having a spat with 'your destined true love'? Hmmmm? All over something as silly as talking to snakes?"Illya's eyes light a furious inferno as the words 'Destined True Love,' though you don't notice it. Ginny's mumbles something through her pinched cheeks."I'm sorry," Tonks says, "I couldn't hear that. Could you speak up?""Stufid Changring..." the redhead whines out. "Reave my bwother out off dis... Ah'm sowwy, okay?""Good!" Tonks stops tormenting the younger girl. "Go on, then. Back to the puppies - Lord knows they probably miss you by now." The younger girl dashes off, and Tonks turns back towards you. "So, let's get your things settled, shall we, Kiddo?"After some haggling, a photo with the manager "for his kids to see," you manage to walk out with a slightly better deal than Tonks thought you could have gotten - 20 Galleons, in total, for everything, including the Seedrat Box. Now that that's over with, you decide to go to...>Broomstix>Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment
>>24772079Home, because at this rate we won't make it to hogwarts before 2014
>>24772079>BroomstixGotta fly fast
>>24772079It might be nice if we could fly. I don't think there's a lot of flying going around as a magus. And then we need to end this overly long shopping trip.
>>24772079>WeasleyShould have fed her to the imouto...>>Wiseacre's Wizarding EquipmentWe are here for school supplies, remember?
>>24772079Wizarding EquipmentBest get that over with before we spend too much on a broomstick we can't actually use yet.
>>24772079>Kuu kai?After that>Wisacre's Wizarding Equipment
>>24772079>Wiseacre's Wizarding EquipmentFlying motorcycles are better than broomsticks anyways.
>>24772079>>Wiseacre's Wizarding EquipmentI have no idea what could be in here, lets find out.
>>24772117There aren't actually any restrictions to Broomstick usage, except that first years aren't allowed to bring them to school
>>24772079>Wiseacre's Wizarding EquipmentWe just splurged on a sweet-ass snake, so we should get the important shopping done before we blow a bunch of money on a broomstick.
>>24772079>Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipmentno need for a broomstick as yet. we can get one when we need one
>>24772131Yeah, but we haven't into brooms yet. Why buy a broom now? Besides, >>24772123.
>>24772131Thus, there is no need to buy one, and I'm sure we'd be buying an expensive one, before we have the rest of our gear for school.Going back to the bank would be embarrassing.
>>24772162>>24772153I'm the dude who said we should leave. I was just correcting his misconception that we couldn't use a broom.
>>24772123Huh. Seconding this line of thought. It would appeal to Emiya as well do to the mundane/wizard dual nature. Kind of hard to ride a broom around town after all.
>>24772079Broomstix, don't want to not have enough Galleons for a good broom.Ask Illya why she seemed so angry.I have to say I really like the "Harry doesn't know about sex" gag. Kind of a shame it'll have to end as soon as we back get to school.Speaking of school, OP you referred to it as a "middle school" which isn't really a thing in England. We have primary school up to 11, then secondary school from there to 16 (compulsory education stops here), then sixth form college until 18, then university. Also primary schools usually have only one teacher for all subjects for each class, and usually a year group is just one class. Harry's school is apparently extremely american.
>>24772209PDF fag can retcon it, I assume.
>>24772222Tell that to Sirius.
>>24772222Flying broomsticks are probably illegal in muggle Britain, too. The trick is to either not get caught like a fag, or the Gilderoy Lockhart special.
>>24772249he is a wanted murder and should be in jail !
>>24772266As a magus, I am hardpressed to believe we really care about wizard politics.
>>24772266And, while he was still a member in good standing of the Order of the Phoenix, he owned a flying motorbike, which he loaned to Hagrid to deliver Harry to the Dursleys. And he never faced any legal issues over it.
>>24772296Shouldn't he have, though? Weasley's Car was nearly illegal, seeing as he enchanted it himself and it wasn't supposed to fly. Why isn't Sirius' bike illegal?
>>24772313>The Norton F1 is illegal to use on British roadsWhat?!WHY?!
>>24772296It wasn't illegal then.Actually now I think about it I don't think enchanting muggle items becomes illegal until Arthur gets a law passed at the start of book 2.
>>24772322Wait, shit, my mistake. I was thinking of something else. Forget that.
>>24772335>until Arthur gets a law passed at the start of book 2.Well then, I guess we're gonna need to have words with Mr. Weasley. Words about what happens to people who cramp our style.
>>24772354I don't know if we can kill laws, but I am ready to try.
>>24772079>'Destined True Love,'I feel kind of bad for Ginny.Not getting off the Illya wagon though, nobrakes.
>>24772397Luna is best HP
>>24772397Luna's better. rowling agreed, don't bother her about it.
You walk down the block to the last "mandatory" shop on your list, a place called Wiseacre's Wizarding Equipment. It's a packed little shop, that apparently has everything on the first year school supply list - from the Bog Standard Iron Cauldron, to the Brass Telescope, to the various foul smelling regeants that you're required to buy for potions class. All in all, everything comes to around 40 Galleons, bringing your total down to 119."Check this out, Harry!" Illya chirps from...Within a trunk. That also happens to have a small apartment inside of it. Well isn't that interesting.You ask a store clerk about the various options you have for storing your equipment - apparently, one of the applications of Wizard magic is the creation of 'Extradimensional Storage'. In short, things that are bigger on the inside than the are on the outside, kind of like the 'Bag of Holding' in some of Dudley's computer games. You're fairly sure that one of the True Magics is involved in that, somehow.The clerk hands you a list of NEAT THINGS that you can add to the Trunk - all trunks they sell here are already twice as big within as they are without.>LIST OF TRUNKS ADDONS>Extra Compartment: 5 G>Increased Storage of 1 Compartment to 3x: 5 G>Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 G>Potions Lab Compartment (Furnished): 50 G>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 G>Wards Against Damage: 5 G>Wheels: 1 G
>>24772407Oh god yeah. Luna was by far the best girl in the books and had way better chemistry than that monster waking up in Harry's chest (wtf was up with that metaphor?)
>>24772421>>Wheels: 1 GGotta go fast.>>Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 G>>Potions Lab Compartment (Furnished): 50 GSorry, goblins.
>>24772421We need to get the most pimped out trunk we can afford, obviously.
>>24772421Let's keep it relatively modest, can always get extras installed at a later date.>Extra Compartment: 5 G>Wards Against Damage: 5 G>Wheels: 1 G
Can we sell our image for advertising in exchange for a subsidized pimp trunk?
>>24772421I'm going to say yes to theExtra Compartment, Featherlight Charm, Wards Against Damage, Wheels26 G isn't much to pay for "I can take all my shit everywhere."
>>24772421>You're fairly sure that one of the True Magics is involved in that, somehow.Usul we have Kaleidoscopesign the likes of which GOD has not seen!>>24772421Wheels are a must. I'd say no to the featherweight charm, because it's mass makes it useful as an improvised weapon.
>>24772421How much is the trunk by itself?
>>24772421>Wards Against Damage: 5 G>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 G>WheelsWe can work on other stuff later
>>24772482I think the trunk is included in the "we need this stuff" 40 Galleons.
>>24772476"I'm Harry Potter, and this is my favorite store in Diagon Alley
>>24772498Y'know, Wizards would actually be stupid enough to buy that EVERY store is our favorite. Even competing ones.
>>24772421Extra compartment, increased storage, featherlight, anti-damage, and wheels.
>>24772433The writer apparently couldn't into romance, or men, or something, and decided to make the main character fall in love with the ugly chick because she had a good enough relationship with her actor. Seriously, that was the reason, she liked the actor so she fucked up the characters.
>>Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 GRegardless of anything else, this is a must.We're a Magus, and for a measly 75 galleons we get our own ready-made secret workshop.
>>24772462Cheap but useful!We don't really need the really huge compartments, featherlight doesn't help that much cause we won't be moving it around that much aside from travelling to and from hogwarts.
>>24772421>>Potions Lab Compartment (Furnished): 50 G>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 G>Wards Against Damage: 5 GX2 lets get this on the inside double strong>Wheels: 1 G
>>24772519I think she ended up regretting it. Everyone, including HERSELF, liked Luna better.
>>24772528That... Is a good point. A damp good point. Bonus points if we can make some forms of portal connecting our secret workshop to ilyas. Assuming she gets one.
How many wheels can we get, and where can we put them? How much would small alchemical jets cost?This is important.
>>24772563Pimp my trunk with wiz'zbit?
>>24772528I forgot Harry's also a magus.Yeah, we need this from the beginning. Iri can help set it up. Can't miss any magus training.
>>24772563well, wingardium leviosa is a 1st year spell, so rocket trunks shouldn't require wheels. I'm more curious how the weight of the contents scale with the weight of the trunk, which may make featherlight charms more valuable depending on how much we want to load into it
>>24772528Go go secret magus workshop!We need someplace to practice our magecraft away from the prying eyes of other students.
>>24772354>>24772383Wait, guys, we get him a better car to play with as a bribe.Flying RX7?Maybe convince these silly Wizards that only rotaries can fly.
>>24772591I agree, having a portable workshop is golden>>24772421>>Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 G>>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 G>>Wards Against Damage: 5 G
>>24772421Grab the unfurnished apartment, nothing else
>>24772599>rocket trunks shouldn't require wheelsYeah. Okay. Let's NOT set the land speed record on our luggage.Fag.
>>24772421All of it. ALL OF IT.
>>24772616They're pretty retarded. Like, if magi are bad, wizards are out of this world stupid. We can basically do anything.
>>24772528This, this, this. We are a magus, we need a workshop and it's not like we can steal a room at hogwarts. Though whether barrier fields are detectable by wizards, given that they are not magi, bares investigation
>>24772421>Extra Compartment: 5 Gx3 >Increased Storage of 1 Compartment to 3x: 5 Gmake the extra ones extra big. >Potions Lab Compartment (Furnished): 50 Gfuck yea a lab>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 Gwell if it has a whole lab we need it>Wards Against Damage: 5 G can we take multiples of this like X 5>Wheels: 1 Gpimping
>>24772643Mostly I'm interested in increasing demand for rotaries. Because I just fucking love rotaries with a completely illogical passion.
>>24772624Seconding this. Hidden workshop, easily portable, durable.Maybe add FAST WHEELS as well, since its cheap.
>>24772656Apartment rather than potions. We want space, not random potions crap.
>>24772624As long as we're getting this much, may as well have wheels.unless we want to be extra sure our trunk doesn't go anywhere while we're wheeling it around?Also, I wonder how much warding Kiritsugu can put on this thing? It would be hilarious. The trunk will be so well defended, and then we can walk out the other side into other workshops. I'm liking this plan.
>>24772682Aye. We're getting this shit as a Magus workshop, and our magecraft isn't based on alchemy. The potions workshop wouldn't really help.
>>24772624This plus wheels
>>24772480If we have the chest with us, one would hope that we'd have something INSIDE that would serve us better as a weapon than the chest itself.>>24772462>Let's keep it relatively modest, can always get extras installed at a later date.Do we know this? We should ask how easily modified chests are. We know that chests are available with all these functions, but we don't know whether it is possible to add functionality to the chests easily.>>24772624This seems like the best plan, with wheels seeming cheap enough that it's probably worth adding them on as well.
>>24772624This, plus wheels.
We definitely want some extra compartments, at the least so that if we have dangerous materials, they are not right with the rest of our stuff.Don't want our Rocket Launchers with our Lab equipment after all.
Just a reminder that we're (probably) going to need to go back to the bank to buy the mobile workshop. However, the workshop is absolutely necessary. We're going to be doing shit that will raise a few Wizarding alarms in there.If Kerry asks, we just bought a whole secret workshop for a few hundred quid.
>>24772771Our magus workshop will have an armory. We can't exactly be Kerry's successor if we don't have an armory.
>>24772771And we obviously need a whole separate room for our tactical cocaine, and assorted glocks.
>>24772781We have like, 110 galleons at the moment, which is enough to get a pimped out trunk
So it looks like the consensus is:>Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 G>Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 G>Wards Against Damage: 5 G>Wheels: 1 GThat'll cost us 96 of our 119 galleons.Should we throw on an extra compartment or two just for kicks? We've got the dosh and this is our last stop unless we want to buy a bargain-bin broomstick, which I doubt.I'd advocate adding an extra compartment for 5, and increasing its size for a further 5.
>>24772816We are going to need a separate trunk for the moist nugget collection. How can we face /k/ without one?>>24772822Could have sworn we spent more. Fuck, the wonders one can achieve when they don't piss away time and money on Quidditch.
>>24772829Alright. We'll be poor, but I support i t.
>>24772771I figure that the main compartment, which I assume is the bog standard>all trunks they sell here are already twice as big within as they are without.should be enough to handle any dangerous materials.Though perhaps a second storage compartment is in order so we are able to separate mundane dangerous equipment from magical dangerous equipment?>>24772829Well, fancy that.
>>24772829Throwing my support in behind this.>>24772843We won't be poor, we'll just have to revisit the bank some time.
>>24772829I support all the propositions.
>>24772829Yeah, I see no reason not to.
>>24772829>ever buying a broomstick at all>not having a whole garage of magick'd to the gills sports cars in our trunk like some kind of Magus/Wizard Tony Stark
>>24772829Lets say two Extra compartments, one of them Plus sized. thats... 111 Galleons Total.
Do we want to get ilya a secret workshop as well? Or can she afford one? As it seems like the sort of thing kiri would see the merit of getting his daughter.
Is there any way to convince old man Acht to whip us up a Sella and Leysritt to hang out in our workshop and keep shit in order? A nigga's gotta have maids.
>>24772421We need to ask RIGHT NOW whether it's possible to put trunks inside of other trunks.
I'm curious guys, what subjects do you reckon Illya will take to NEWT level? Could definitely see potions and transfiguration for alchemy applications, other than that I'm not sure.
>>24772908>Sella and Leysritt>not wanting your own personal HisuiNigga you gay.
"How does the weight of what's inside of the strunk scale with the how much the trunk weighs when you try to carry it around?" you ask the clerk.The Clerk, who himself is an extremely charming and interesting character whom I am sure you would all love to have an intermissory thread in which you have wacky adventures regarding his life as a Clerk in Wiseacre's, dumps some info on you. "Modifying the space doesn't modify the weight - everything you put into it will weigh as much as the things that you place into it.""So that'll be a yes to the featherlight charm then..." you say, rubbing your chin.In the end, you wind up spending 105 GP on your trunk, obtaining a chamber with space equivalent to that of an unfurnished apartment, a second chamber on top of the first, a ward against damage, wheels, and, of course, a permanent featherlight charm. Your pockets feel a bit lighter, but you won't be able to use any broom that you buy for most of the next year, anyways."Alright, where to next?" Illya asks.You decide to...>Window shop at Broomstix>Head to the meet up point>Check the Alley for shops you missed>[OTHER]>It's anime night, so I'll be back in a bit over an hour.
>>24772904>A magus not getting his heir a special workshop when shown one at a hilariously low priceHe'll get her a better one than Harry's.
>>24772927End the shopping trip from hell.
>>24772927DONE.Let's go home and get on with a training timeskip.This is a nice quest and all but it's taking a while to get anywhere.
>>24772781We've got 118 left, right? We should be good.
>>24772927>>Head to the meet up point
>>24772927>Head to the meet up pointPlease can we get to the train now? Was nice to fiddle about in the alley, but lets get learning spells and MAGIC!
>>24772925Hisui is not a homunculus, and Leys is retard moe supreme. But if we can get them both, sure, why the fuck not.>>24772927>>Head to the meet up pointAre we women or something. We have shit to do.
>>24772927>>Head to the meet up pointEnough is enough, we spent FAR too much time shopping.
>>24772927>Head to the meet up pointAlright, we've got our Fortress of Solitude, our bitchin' snake, and all our other gubbins. Time to play "Pimp my Secret Workshop" with kerry. He's going to love this.
>>24772927>Head to the meet up point, inform kiritsugu of the wonders of secret worlshop
>>24772980>Please can we get to the train now? It's only December and we still haven't met Mr Zelretch or that priest.I say after our next maths class we stay behind for a bit and say "Mr Zelretch are you an ancient egyptian wizard?"
>>24772927> [X] Apartment Compartment (Unfurnished): 75 G> [X] Extra Compartment: 5 G> [X] Wards Against Damage: 5 G> [X] Wheels: 1 G> [X] Permanent Featherlight Charm: 15 GIsn't that 101, not 105?Either way, >Head to the meet up point. We're done here.
>>24773037Ancient egyptian vampire wizard my boy, get it right.
>>24772927>Head to the meet up point
>>24773078Whoops, that was stupid. We might have paid more, not less. Get that money back.
>Pimp the hidden workshop>identify Gil's species>interrogate Zelretch>learn about sexAnything else we need to accomplish between now and departing for Hogwarts? As much fun as talking to Zelretch might be, it'll set us back a couple threads. I'd rather get to Hogwarts sometime this month.
>>24773285>Anything else we need to accomplish between now and departing for Hogwarts?>Study the fuck out of our books.>Learn as much magecraft as possible and get assignments to work on at Hogwarts.>MYSTIC EYE KILLERS
>>24773285Learn more CQC from Kiritsugu
>>24772927Are Broomsticks part of the year one package? because if so,w e should check them out. [X]Window shop at BroomstixAfterwads, meetup point. Magical Fun!
>>24773429Broomsticks are FORBIDDEN during first year, making them useless.
>>24773453I think we're all planning on getting into Quiddich.
Oh man, I can see this scene for kids with the apartment trunks."GO TO YOUR ROOM!" "FINE MOM I WILL!" And then the miserable cunt of a child hops into his trunk.
>>24773453>Broomsticks are FORBIDDEN during first yearUnless your mummy and daddy are famous.I wonder how Snape's gonna react to a studious and intelligent Harry who doesn't really "get" why everyone makes a big deal about who he is.
>>24773453Originally, Harry got around this restriction with Quidditch, but FFFFFFUCK Quidditch - we have experiments to run.
>>24773485Nah. More worthwhile to run experiments and shit. If we really "have" to get into sports, then dueling is probably a better option anyway.
>>24773485First years aren't allowed on the team.Unless your mummy and daddy are famous.
>>24773523I thought it was because we showed the talent to be the best damn seeker in decades.
>>24773517>duelingDo we appraoch it Sousuke style?https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEEIGrTjs6M
>>24773492The same, as long as Harry looks like James but has Lily's eyes. Snape got NTR'd unfathomably hard, so he's going to hound Harry for as long as he can get away with it.
>>24773485Fuck Quidditch, fuck you for bringing it up, and fuck Rowling for wasting so much time on "Harry looks for a ball."Seriously though, nothing interesting is going to happen playing Quidditch. We've all already read Harry Potter and watched the films if we want Quidditch.
>>24773553NTR would imply there was a relationship.Snape was too much of a fucking pussy to even make a move.
>>24773553That's an interesting point.DO we still have Lilly's eyes? MEoDP and all.
>>24773547I think we do.
>>24773569>not wanting to apply Capoeira skills to being the greatest Beater of all timeWe need to figure out how to magic an iPod so it'll work on Hogwarts grounds. Gotta have music for a proper Roda.
>>24773575>NTR would imply there was a relationship.You need to read more NTR.Besides:>Lily Evans and her family likely lived in the same town, close to Spinner's End. After watching her for some time, Severus noticed her evident magical abilities and began making friendly overtures. The two bonded quickly and it appears that he was very interested in Lily right from the beginning, though she only regarded him as a good friend. During this time he also developed a contempt towards her older sister, Petunia. This was most likely because she made disparaging comments about his clothes and residence, but may also be because she was a Muggle.
>>24773553>Lily's eyesThat reminds me, Mystic Eyes often change colour when activated. Given how ours are permanently on we might not have Lily's eyes anymore. I believe both Shiki's eyes are blue so maybe that's the colour of MEoDP (I know Tohno doesn't actually have the same type of eyes as Ryogi and god knows which type we have but still).
>>24773634At the very least, they're not green anymore. We might have stolen Voldy's reptilian eyes.
>>24773634Actually, the eye color thing in the KnK movies was artistic license. That's never described as occurring in the books.
>>24773634>>24773594Isn't the color change only used to tell the audience that the eyes are being used? I don't think they actually change in-universe.
>>24773634>That reminds me, Mystic Eyes often change colour when activated.WRONG WRONG WRONG.That's a visual cue for the audience's benefit. They don't actually change color.
Holy shit, this is exactly like my chinese porn comics. Poor Snape.
Yeah, but hers are different Mystic Eyes, and the color change has more to with her being a vampire than any magical side effect.
>>24773612Even if we become the greatest Beater ever, we're not leaving the school, and we'll only be wasting time recreating scenes from the show when we could be becoming the unholy love child of Voldemort, Dumbledore, and Kerry.
>>24773485Not really. Full-blown Magus is what I'm thinking. Spending our free time trying to combine Magecraft and potter magic for fun profit, and SCIENCE!Besides, we were probably going to accidentally kill the snitch if we tried to catch it.
>>24773753>Dumbledore Homo GlandOld fart's still got it.
>>24773768If we want to be a good magus, we have to spend too much time sequestered in dark rooms doing unfathomable, painful, and probably illegal experiments to a wide variety of test subjects.
>>24773768>Full-blown MagusWait, why do you want to be Fast Wheels?
>>24773818Or, we could spend too much time sequestered in our luggage smashing thaumaturgy with wizardry and seeing what happens. Also, Time Turners.
>>24773818I can't speak for anyone else, but I assumed we would use Rin, Waver, and Kerry as our magus role models, not Zouken, Kayneth, and Acht.
>>24773837>>24773876Even if we tried to be an ally of justice, our life begins in death. Literally. Wizards are too ass-backwards, so we should stick with being a magus.
>>24773870I forgot about Time Turners....can we skip to year three?
>>24773876>I assumed we would use Rin, Waver, and Kerry as our magus role modelsSo, two people who are incredibly talented, but TERRIBLE Magi by traditional definition (Rin is too compassionate, and Waver is too forward-thinking), and one guy who doesn't self-identify as a Magus.
>>24773818>>24773837Alright, "full-blown Magus" wasn't the right choice of words. Magus mindset, minus "What can I learn from dissecting you?"
>>24773891>Wizards are too ass-backwardsThey may be retarded, but their magic is often actual MAGIC. True Magic. You can't just throw that away because MUH SCIENCE.
>>24773920Pretty sure time turners can only go backwards and don't have that much range.Also if we skipped our first two years Voldemort would have the philosopher's stone because nobody was there to stop him. Then we would start in year one because we wouldn't have had our first and second year's worth of education.And Illya would be even more of an old hag.
>>24773956Shirou and Kerry both used thaumaturgy, but neither was a magus, exactly. Same principle. We can use magic, but we'd still be a magus.
>>24773928If not being a joyless loser who dies a gruesome and borderline meaningless death makes Harry a bad magus, then I guess he's gonna be the worst magus of all/
>>24773870>>24773920Motherfucking Time-Turners man. We could get a stupid amount of work done with one of those.
>>24774009Trying to run away from your Origin will make you a joyless loser. If you didn't want to kill people, you shouldn't have picked DEATH for your Origin.
>>24773920Only if we can revisit year one through an elaborate time travel plot in which Lucius Malfoy goes back in time to stop us from stopping Voldy (and also to escape the Wizard Cops).
>>24774031Since when did Tohsaka, Waver, and Kerry (our role models) run away from their Origins? Being the Master of Death is inevitable as long as Voldemort is still gunning for Harry. Nobody said we were going to avoid that. Any experimentation with the strange new (old) magical forces in the Wizarding world will doubtlessly contribute to that.
>>24774101I never opposed linking magic and magecraft for fun and for profit.
>>24774045This Malfoy is nowhere near fabulous enough to choke the weed before it grows up and ends it all. Do you follow me?
I'd like to remind everyone that "dissecting other humans for fun and profit" isn't the only way to be a proper Magus.For example, acquiring a Time-Turner and using it to create a crack techno-magical science team of Me Myself and I in order to get three times the work done down in the workshop (and thus flirt with horrible time-paradox based death on a daily basis), would also be an acceptable application of the "fuck morals, acquire SCIENCE" Magus mindset.
>>24774127Harry doesn't need to go full retard like most traditional magi do, though. He has the chance to do a shitload of groundbreaking magical work without a lot of human experimentation, since Conjuration magic can make generic flash clones of animals with short life spans. And it's not like he wont need to kill people now that Voldy got a power boost.
>>24774190I don't fancy cutting my lifespan in thirds even for research.Unless we can rank up our eyes then have duplicates turn up and kill the fact that they're us from the future, thus removing our need to travel back and become them.
>>24774031>If you didn't want to kill people, you shouldn't have picked DEATH for your Origin.> kill peopleThe Origin is Death of Things IIRCWe start prematurely aging furniture to mass produce antiques now?
>>24774270>We start prematurely aging furniture to mass produce antiques now?That is totally awesome.
>>24774190>Me Myself and INo no no.You need Me, Myself, I, and Sleepy-head.Hermione's problem was that she used the Time-Turner to gain extra time, but she worked herself half to death. We need a fourth time-slot who sleeps while the rest of us are working so we don't wrack up a massive sleep-debt.
Is Neville going to be the designated lab rat?If we get homunculus maids, how do we make sure that anyone who steps into Dexter's Lab doesn't find out about their origins so we don't get carted off to Azkaban for some of the most forbidden Dark magics?
>>24774342Bad idea. We'll age retardedly fast.
>>24774395We should probably cut down the Time Turning to every other week, only at school, and only two active Potters with one sleepy Potter.
>>24774395Then one of us memorizes all of our notes and goes back in time to before we started and tells our past self who just came up with the idea (to use a time turner) all of our researched information.
>>24774444That would still cut roughly a third off our total lifespan relative to everyone else.
>>24774494Ontological paradoxes are usually bad ideas, if you ever get around to having them
>>24774508Wizards live for around 90 years on average. Dumbledore has been around for even longer.Besides, you have to be in 3rd year to apply, and it would only be while at school.
>>24774532If we jump back in time and prevent the past us from going to the future, we would simply create a deviant timeline to allow things to proceed as normal. It would also create an extra person that should not exist and therefore has to be removed.
>>24774532Like a magi has ever let something as small as a BAD IDEA stop them from doing anything.
>>24774571I also forgot to mention that we could just keep the Philosopher's Stone and make some Elixir of Life after graduation to stay sexy.
>>24774571>90 years on averageNot if we manage to get the philosopher stone.
>>24774508Only if we used it ALL THE TIME.Using it to create a magical "Harry Potter Magus research fun-day" once every two weeks wouldn't have that large of an effect.There are 52 weeks in a year. If, every 2 weeks, we had ourselves 24 hours of magical extra-time, that would mean we "lost" 26 days relative to everyone else around us over the course of a year.At that rate, it would take us about 14 years to "lose" a year relative to everyone else.
Zouken would be mad as fuck if he learned an eleven-to-twelve-year-old jacked the secret to immortality from what's basically a magical Takeshi's Castle set.
>>24774818We should kill Zouken and disect his body before the fifth Grail War, though.
>>24774671>Harry Potter Magus research fun-dayIf we call it that, then what do we call private time with Illya when we reach that age?
>>24774840Harry and Ilya's Not So Secret Fuck Time.HINSSFT for short.
>>24774840>If we call it that, then what do we call private time with Illya when we reach that age?>Harry Potter Illya research fun-dayWe research her allllllllll over.
>>24774882>Our Secret Of Survival In A Very Nasty Worldftfy
>>24774840Harry Potter Secret Research Funday
>>24774840Illya marking her territory
By the time you and Illya have made it back to the Leaky Cauldron, it is getting around to five PM. Kiritsugu and Irisviel arrive slightly after the two of you do, the former dragging along three trunks that you have a strange feeling are filled with rare and interesting alchemical supplies. Shacklebolt has disappeared, Mr, Kiritsugu has mentioned something about ministry business, and the various paperwork laden bureaucracies that it implies."So who's the little guy wrapped around your arm?" Kiritsugu asks."Uh," you stammer out, "Illya thought it was cute."Kiritsugu does not fall for your ploy to redirect his attention onto Illya, and stares at you with with a blank look that you (think?) is mixed of disapproval and amusement. Illya, however, doesn't know that she wasn't supposed to speak, and chimes in, saving you from what would have been a very long talk."We named him Gilgamesh!" Illya says. "He's -awesome-, and -gold-, and just like one of those dragons in those stories from Japan, cause he can -talk-!" She pouts. "Harry's the only one who can understand him though. Wizards think it's an evil magic, but Harry said Saint Patrick could do it too."Kiritsugu grins - yes, he actually grins - when he hears that you named him Gilgamesh. Irisviel pouts, and says something about needing to think of a new name for Illya's baby brother. Kiritsugu picks Illya up onto his shoulders, and immediately starts correcting the hogwash the wizards told her about "evil magic"."Illya, don't listen to people who say that one form of magecraft is -evil- and another form is -good-," he tells her. "At best they're deluded, and don't know what they're on about. At worst, they're politicians, trying to push one agenda or another. All magecraft is a tool - the good and evil just depend on how you use it."The four of you shortly leave the alley, and the day draws to an end. You...>Skip to Christmas.>Skip to your next school day.>Skip to the Hogwarts express.>[OTHER]
>>24775049>Skip to Christmas.Christmas with Kiritsugu: harry gets a new glocknade
>>24775049Skip to next schoolday, we need to talk to Zelretch
>>24775049>>Skip to your next school day.ANCIENT EGYPTIAN LASER VAMPIRESAlso, Hermione needs to clue us in on what the fuck she's going to do with the rest of her life. No one likes a 30-year-old magical girl.
>>24775007Is there a problem?>>24775049Just to school. We gotta bitch at Zelretch.
>>24775085>No one likes a 30-year-old magical girl.Depends on how well they age
>>24775049>[OTHER]PHOTO ALBUMANIMATED PHOTO ALBUMCUDDLING CHILDRENVERY LEWD
>>24775049>Skip to your next school day.We got a lot of shit to sort out at school.
>>24775049>>Skip to your next school day.that Egyptian math!!!
>>24775112Nanoha pls go. You're old and busted.
>>24775085I beg to differ.
>>24775049>Skip to your next school day.We're never going to make it to Hogwarts at this rate, but what the hell, what does Z have to say?
Next school dayWe need to speak to Zelretch and actually make friends with Hermione.
>>24775049>Skip to your next school day.
>>24775189We can timeskip to Christmas once we're done with that day. How much could possibly happen?
>>24775227I'm still uncomfortable with Hermione being so close to Ilya, though.
>>24775049>Skip to your next school day.I'm sorry Hogwarts. I love you, but we can't NOT talk to Professor Z.
>>24775157Sorry OP, but you have shit taste in Mahou Josei.
>>24775261Why? Ilya isn't into girls (not that we understand what that means at this juncture), and she's both our friends. If Ilya thought that something would get between her and her husband, that thing would be dead or at Durmstrang.And on that note, rip in piece Ginevra Weasley. You worshiped the wrong hero.
>>24775289Oh, if we're posting best women, Hayate #1 all day every day. She's the Captain Kirk of Magical Girls.
>>24775049Getting Hermione as friend before Hogwarts would be ideal so off to the next day of school!
>>24775344Hermione is, or was, a stupid idealist. If she does something stupid that puts us in conflict with each other, who knows what she could say to Ilya.
>>24775049>Skip to ChristmasToo good an opportunity to pass up.
>>24775367I'm not entirely sure Kaleido Ruby Hermione will have time for Hogwarts.
>>24775366>Knowing Signum>Not knowing Signum's bossI shiggy diggyBut this is derailing the thread. Back to work for me.
>>24775289And now I'm imagining Hermione using the Kaleidostick and getting a version of her that is basically Signum, with the Sword of Gryffindor.I can fap to this mental image. I can fap to it good.
>>24775404She's also now an extremely powerful Magical Girl. So fuck us.
>>24775434Guy who first posted Signum here, he's not me.
>>24775434The "Who" was in reference to Kirk. Sage for off topic.
>>24775242>How much could possibly happen?With Z? Possibly enough insane shenanigans to fill up 7 more threads at least.
>>24775497I don't know which question is worse.
>>24775464And we have MEoDP. A fight like that will not be pleasant for anybody, regardless of who wins. Hopefully she grows up to be a different person then she would have, though.
>>24775536I think he's making a reference to a thread from a few weeks back.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/23501569
>>24775499I fully intend to NOPE the fuck out of there if Z tries to rope us into any kaleido-snenanigans.Fuck that noise. Z may be zany and awesome, but intelligent people get the fuck out when he decides its time for some "fun".I mean shit, the Clock Tower has "Zelretch left and we didn't all die horribly" parties whenever he leaves.
>>24775366Not this shit again
>>24775530Caster is a magical woman (and a very sexy one), but she's not a Magical Woman, if you follow.
>>24775536He's referring to pic relatedAt least I hope he is, and he's not trying to get a repeat performance
>>24775634Wow, not only do you have a better pic of the event, but a better filename. Truly, it is my defeat.
>>24775842His is cluttered and masturbatory. Although, I guess it already is, so that's a moot point.
You pass right over Christmas and plop yourself right into the first year of the twenty first century, skipping straight to your first day back from the Winter Holiday. It is the dawn of January, the first monday after the Ball has dropped, and it is the year 2001. Much like last year, the Y2K bug failed to strike and eliminate and serious infrastructure, though Iri still attempted to innoculate Kiritsugu's computer.Christmas went well for everyone involved. You went back to Diagon Alley to get presents for everyone - a rather well made Wizarding Chess set for Kiritsugu, the MADAME MIGGS limited edition Omnibus for Illya, and a copy of the Wizarding World's version of the Memoires of Nicholas for Irisviel.You yourself got more presents this year than any other. From Mr. Kingsley, you got the finalization of the transfer of custody from the Dursley's to the von Einzbern's pushed through the ministry two months early. Illya got you a set of MARTIN MIGGS MECHANIZED MODELS, wizarding action figures that moved on their own and spouted catch phrases when prompted, or as an alarm clock. Irisviel gave you a copy of the photo album she got produced at Diagon Alley. It is quite possibly the lewdest thing you have ever seen, you and Illya asleep, leaning on eachother while the Princess Bride in the background. She took you off to the sides and told that that one day she expected you to show it to your grandkids. She also got you a primer on Alchemy, incase you ever wish to pick it up.Kiritsugu's gift was a bit more zen - teaching you a special three step take down to supplement your Capioera training. He also got you a bo-staff to practice inserting the use of your spear into what he teaches you.[SKILL UP: CAPIOERA, RANK E+]You are now at your school, as usual, a half hour early. You...>Go to homeroom and wait.>See if you can catch up with Hermione.>Find someplace to practice magic.>Hang out with Illya.>[OTHER]
>>24776089>she expected you to show it to your grandkidsThat's some hardcore shipping right there.>>24776089We should probably find Zelretch; that was the point in skipping to school, wasn't it?
>>24776089>>Find someplace to practice magic.Really want to do this, but this is a school and we have to socialize outside our normal boundaries so...>>See if you can catch up with Hermione.
>>24776089>See if you can catch up with Hermione."Hey Hermione, turn yourself into a pink haired amazon goddess lately?"
>>24776089>>See if you can catch up with Hermione.
>>24776089>See if you can catch up with HermioneGotta find out what's good with the resident mahou shoujo. Could actually be important
>>24776089>Irisviel gave you a copy of the photo album she got produced at Diagon Alley. It is quite possibly the lewdest thing you have ever seen, you and Illya asleep, leaning on eachother while the Princess Bride in the background.SHEER CHILD PORNOGRAPHY MY MOTHER SHOULD BE ARRESTED>See if you can catch up with Hermione.
>>24776089Hmmm, I think we'd all assumed that the three options were given in order of how much time was skipped.>See if you can catch up with Hermione.>[OTHER]- Ask her if her teacher is a mummy.
>>24776089>>Find someplace to practice magic.then>>See if you can catch up with Hermione.
>>24776089Oh, i thought the next schoolday was next week or something. I wasn't paying attention to the dates, so a timeskip is fine too.>See if you can catch up with Hermione.It's been a few months since we've talked to her, let's see what changed, and apologize for not saving her from Ilya for three months.
>>24776089>Much like last year, the Y2K bug failed to strike and eliminate and serious infrastructure, though Iri still attempted to innoculate Kiritsugu's computer.This is adorable as fuck.>>24776164>>24776248We should definitely know better than to try and squeeze in magic practice at school. Shit's a public place, full of regular boring people.No sense in getting ourselves an injunction from the Improper Use of Magic Office, or worse, getting hunted down and ACTUALLY punished by members of the Mage's Association.There'll be plenty of time to do magic in far safer environments than this one.
>>24776352Ministry is mostly incompetent, but the other guys are pretty serious. If we managed to piss them both off this would probably be a short quest.
>>24776089>See if you can catch up with Hermione.
>>24776401I like the idea of some Ministry pencil-pusher showing up to scold us, only to run into some Magic Association personnel or Executors.
>>24776503You know, we could always do what Zelretch did and look into vampirism at some point. Especially if we can't manage to get the Philosopher's Stone for ourselves.
>>24776548The Philosopher's Stone has all the security of a children's game show, guard cerberus notwithstanding. Let's just not tell Dumblecop we have it after Quirrel is killed.
>>24776548>look into vampirismThat is, without exception, the single best way to us get hit with a Sealing Designation so hard and fast that you're strapped to a surgical table having your magic circuits pulled out before any hunters actually come looking for you.
>>24776615There was also an ogre or something, but Quirrel killed it. And of course we won't admit to having it, but a lot of things can happen, including him reading our mind and grabbing it while we sleep.
>>24776615Except that if we want to use it, we can't get it.Time to use Neville as our flunky/sidekick, and arrange for him to get all the credit.
>>24776548I'm assuming this means you're not entirely familiar with Kiritsugu's backstory, because actually doing this would probably push him off the fucking deep end.This>>24776652notwithstanding.
>>24776653That's why the Stone goes into the warded workshop, and why we really need some Einzbern guard meidos.I'm sure Kerry can help us out on something approximating Occlumency. Magi read minds too, after all.
>>24776615Can we really bullshit our way through Dumbledore? Our best bet might be trying to get it to Kerry before anyone intercepts us.Shit, will we even be able to get it out of the mirror? There's no way in hell that we'll have the same noble intentions as the original Harry.
>>24776682For the most part, I wasn't thinking about all the associated problems. Just about insurance policies against dying and all that jazz.
>>24776696That's why we need a patsy. God bless Neville Longbottom, and all naive Gryffindors.
>>24776682Yeah forgot to mention that. Being Kiritsugu's apprentice and then researching anything about vampires that isn't "how do you kill them dead" would be the worst possible betrayal short of murdering Iri and Illya in front of him. We are NEVER doing this.Speaking of murder, do we have mystic eye killers now?
>>24776548So we go from being able to survive the mage's association if we hide our talents to getting our existence wiped out if we even let a member of the association look at us.That is by far one of the worst ideas suggested, especially considering that a vampire with the MEoDP and can use aspects of True Magic when holding a stick would be a priority to kill, if not be considered on of the 27 DAA.
>>24776727We should make it a point to bro it up with him on the train, maybe he'll follow us to Hufflepuff then, and he can be our bro/distraction/sidekick, getting all the credit while we quietly make it all possible.
>>24776740...On a more terrifying not, Voldemot will probably BE one of the 27 before we get out of hogwarts.
>>24776723Harry can't really take out Voldemort without dying, and he can't come back to life without accepting death. I sincerely doubt the MEoDP can bail us out of that one. Being the Master of Death means you have accepted your own mortality and have made peace with it. It's the opposite of Dead Apostles and liches.I have only ever suggested the Elixir of Life as a way to counteract cosmetic damage from Time Turner use.
>>24776754Neville will be sorted before us.>>24776771Given how he's getting boosted to be a credible nemesis I wouldn't be shocked by this at all.
>>24776782I, for one, adamantly cannot accept mortality. It goes against whatever I still believe in.
>>24776754>he can be our bro/distraction/sidekick, getting all the credit while we quietly make it all possible.Which is exactly what the poor son of a bitch needs. He gets to some heroic shit anyways.Also, remember: Being a Hufflepuff doesn't mean you can't be brave, or skilled. Cedric Diggory was baller as fuck, and he was a badger. Being a Hufflepuff sometimes just means that the personality flaws/virtues that define the members of the other houses aren't that strong in you.
>>24776754>follow us to Hufflepuff>implying that we would be a Hufflepuff in the same theoretical universe in which you're suggesting we befriend someone only in order to use him as a tool to further our own agenda.All of this roundabout immortality plotting is completely out of character anyway.>>24776771Pretty sure the DAA list isn't just about power level; if you're not an actual nasuverse vampire, you have to 1) Actually express some amount of vampiric tendencies, and 2) Dispose of one of the entities on the DAA list, which means you effectively take their place.Just being a DAA doesn't actually grant you any measure of extra power. It's just a validation of the power you already had. (I could be wrong, but I think this is pretty much the way it works.)There's really no reason for Voldemort to want to put himself in a position where he has to fight a current DAA, since it'd prove an unnecessary risk.
>>24776801For comparison's sake, it also means you reached essentially the same conclusion Gilgamesh did at the end of his Epic. It's not so bad.
>>24776890>only in order to use himOh no, he'll ALSO be a real friend, because Neville is, above all else, a GOOD PERSON, and we need that, to keep us from going Full Magus and performing horrible experiments on human subjects that are abominations against god and nature. He'll just ALSO make a great Brit Reid to our Kato.
>>24776890>All of this roundabout immortality plotting is completely out of character anyway.Yes it is. The Elixir of Life was originally brought up here as a way to avoid getting aged badly by the turners, which one anon made irrelevant anyway. At this point, the Philosopher's Stone would do more good in Iri's hands so she could figure out how to have unassisted pregnancies and avoid any other nasty homunculus conditions.So let's get the stone for her birthday. The Mirror wouldn't deny the stone for that.
>>24776950I thought we were also just talking about how we likely need to go to extreme lengths to take down Voldemort this time. Should we really be sabotaging those efforts?
>>24777007Immunity to aging, which is what the Elixir of Life actually gives, will not help us beat Voldemort before he ravages Britain.
>>24777035No, I mean where the guy I was replying to was saying that Neville could interrupt our experiments out of some good guy sense of justice.
>>24776890>There's really no reason for Voldemort to want to put himself in a position where he has to fight a current DAA, since it'd prove an unnecessary risk.Not all of the positions are filled, and some have remained empty for centuries. It wouldn't be an issue for Voldemort to take a place among the 27, all he'd have to do would to join would be becoming a Dead Apostle.
>>24777045No, he could keep us from going over "the line" that takes you from science and into the territory of a Makiri Zolgen, better known by his later alias of Zouken Matou.
>>24777068>all he'd have to do would to joinWhy don't I ever proofread my posts?
>>24777090I trust in Harry's ability to see lines.
>>24777045Well, yeah. That's why we don't go full shithead like most magi. Hogwarts provides more than enough previously unknown magic that we could experiment with that and still not need to do human experimentation beyond "Hey Neville, ever wondered what it's like to become the little girl?"Polyjuice makes you become A little girl whose hair you find, not THE little girl [that you presumably want to become]
>>24777121That really makes me want to go Gryffindor. Can you imagine the shenanigans we'd get up to with the twins and SCIENCE!magic?
>>24777121If you were to take someone's hair then use it in a polyjuice potion 10 years later would you end up becoming them as they are or as they were?
>>24777156The twins had an artificial aging potion in one book. Should be easy to test that out.
You decide to see if you can catch up with Hermione.Her homeroom is 2C, right across the way from yours. It's a much less plainly decorated than your homeroom of 2A - where yours has just plain brown painted walls with the occassional poster regarding the joys of the English language or the wonders of Science, the walls of Professor Zelretch's room are cast in a much more esoteric design. Fibonacci spirals pattern the floor, forming repeating fractal imagery meant to stimulate the mind. The walls are plastered with non-Euclidean geometry and mathematical formulae the likes of which you doubt most mathematicians would not understand.Most strikingly, the windows have been replaced with Kaleidoscopes. It should seem tacky - it should seem garish - it should seem silly, yet somehow, simply by standing here, you feel -enlightened-!Hermione is at her desk, twiddling around with a piece of graphing paper and a small lump of clay."Hey Hermione," you say, waving to her."Oh, hey Harry!" she says, smiling to herself as she continues her ministrations upon the clay. "Clad to see that you're out of your coma? What are you up to?"You...>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>Ask what's up with the clay.>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink business>Tell her you're here to see Professor Zelretch.>[OTHER]
>>24777156Steal Illya's hair, then one day years later ambush her with "ONEECHAN!"
>>24777181>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink business
>>24777181>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink business.
>>24777146The rampant experimentation is more Ravenclaw, though. And since when have houses meant anything to the Weasley twins? Those guys give impossibly few fucks about boundaries.I'd still push toward Hufflepuff. Cedric Diggory becoming our senpai and mentor would be the most tanoshi kute kakkoii shit ever.
>>24777181>at her desk, twiddling around with a piece of graphing paper and a small lump of clay.The only other time I've seen a character doing that, she ended up killing herself to make her crush the God of Space and Time. Let's be very, very careful around Hermione.>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>Ask what's up with the clay.>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink business>[OTHER]- Ask her about Zelretch.
>>24777181>>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink businessIs she even a wizard?
>>24777181>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.>Ask her what's up with the Kaleido-Pink business>Tell her Ilya thinks she's fucking the teach.
>>24777181>Are just checking if she's still up for being friends.Friendship first.Wizard business later.
>>24777275>Tell her Ilya thinks she's fucking the teach.We still don't know what fucking is.Is it too much to hope that Iri will be the one to tell us?
>>24777275>Tell her Ilya thinks she's fucking the teach.I don't think we know what fucking is yet. At this rate it'll be our wedding night and we'll be stumped.
>>24777181Ask her if she's fucking Zelretch already or is he stringing her along
>>24777313>Is it too much to hope that Iri will be the one to tell us?There is no way we're learning about this pleasantly after this long not knowing. It's going to hit us traumatically.Worst case scenario: Fred and George use Polyjuice and act it out for us.
>>24777343We still don't know what that means.
>>24777363Is he an idiot?
>>24777370He's never had the talk, and isn't into the internet yet I guess.
>>24777313Iri in teacher mode is pretty much the best thing every, regardless of subject.
>>24777370Harry was in a come through sex ed, and you are sorely mistaken if you think Kerry would let him touch the 56K without parental supervision.Dudley is extremely sheltered, too, so no help on that end.
>>24777370We were in a coma when we went over it in health class, Ilya won't tell us, and Kerry/Iri are probably stringing it out as long as possible so they can savor our reaction when we finally find out.
>>24777411Even without internet, there is TV and books.
>>24777181All of them, in that order
>>24777394So I do a reverse image search on that, to try and find a bigger version, and the second result (after Iri's page on the T-M wiki) is this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QFeYxuSQydo
>>24777430Once again, Kerry is now his guardian, and the Dursleys would never have that in their homes.No chance. He's Shiroumode, and quickly heading for Natsuru now.
>>24777463No, he's not quite that dense. He clearly knows something is up there, and he knows it involves rods and holes. He's determined to find out, just doesn't know where to start looking.
>>24777463>quickly heading for Natsuru now.Belt of masculinity/femininity when?
>>24777460>that qualityJesus H Christ.By the way, if you really don't know where that's from, the filename is actually the source. They were F/Z Blu-Ray extras/
>>24777463He needs some anatomy books, then.
>>24777485That picture dammit.I CAN STILL REMEMBER WHEN GENDER BENDING WASN'T MY FETISH DAMMIT.
"Oh, well, it's kind of..." you stutter out. Since when were you bad at talking to girls?Oh right."I can tell you all about that that, Harry!" Irisviel had said, with a smile.And then... And then... And then...You almost wish your eyes had acted up and SPARED you from that talk. That talk accompanied by videos... and Japanese comic books. And her insistance that yes, whips and ropes and Fu~n Toy~s were completely necessary, and not depraved, evil things that you didn't need to know about. It didn't help that ever since then you've been occasionally have dreams of Illya... and Hermione... and ropes... and... AUGH. BAD THOUGHTS.Yeah. But at least you can appreciate the photo album now, without thinking that it was...DAMNIT. BAD MIND."Are you okay, Harry?" Hermione asks. "You're looking a bit red - are you still out of sorts, from the coma...?""Ah, no..." you reassure her. "I just came in to ask you if you were still up for the whole 'friendship' thing...""You want to be friends still?" she asks. "Even though I'm an insufferable... right. You were... out for the last few months." She puts the clay down. "Of course we can be friends, Harry!"You...>Ask about Kaleido-Pink>Ask about Zelretch>Point out that Illya think's that she's... doing things with Zelretch>Ask her what's up with the clay.>[OTHER]
>>24777463Nah man. We're not dense, just uninformed. We WILL get to the bottom of this mystery.Whether we like what we find is another matter entirely.
>>24777492Who's he going to ask, Ilya? She probably burned her books. Zelretch? Do you seriously want him to have a one-on-one sex ed class with the immortal extradimensional assclown? Kiritsugu isn't telling, and Irisviel is having fun with our floundering.I say we ask Neville how babies are made as soon as we get on the Hogwarts Express.
>>24777530>"I can tell you all about that that, Harry!" Irisviel had said, with a smile.>>And then... And then... And then...>>You almost wish your eyes had acted up and SPARED you from that talk. That talk accompanied by videos... and Japanese comic books. And her insistance that yes, whips and ropes and Fu~n Toy~s were completely necessary, and not depraved, evil things that you didn't need to know about. It didn't help that ever since then you've been occasionally have dreams of Illya... and Hermione... and ropes... and... AUGH. BAD THOUGHTS.lel>>Ask about Kaleido-PinkBusiness first.
>>24777530Oh mai~Ask about kaleido pink
>>24777530>>Ask about Zelretch
>>24777530>Ask about Kaleido-Pink
>>24777530Ask if she's fucking Zelretch yet.
>>24777530Iri you monster. You broke the Harry.
>>24777530>Ask about Zelretch
>>24777530>Ask about Kaleido-PinkYESSSS THAT IS PEEERFEECT!
>>24777530>Ask about Kaleido-Pink"So Hermione, turn into a pink-haired warrior goddess yet? Call me when you do."
>>24777530>Ask her what's up with the clayWe can't come off too business-like. Better to make some small-talk first.
>>24777530>Ask about Ancient Egyptian Math Teacher
>>24777530>"I can tell you all about that that, Harry!" Irisviel had said, with a smile.>And then... And then... And then...>You almost wish your eyes had acted up and SPARED you from that talk. That talk accompanied by videos... and Japanese comic books. And her insistance that yes, whips and ropes and Fu~n Toy~s were completely necessary, and not depraved, evil things that you didn't need to know about. It didn't help that ever since then you've been occasionally have dreams of Illya... and Hermione... and ropes... and... AUGH. BAD THOUGHTS.YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOf course this does mean that now a lot of sexy stuff is going to be irrevocably tied to Irisviel in Harry's mind for at least a while now.
>>24777735Wouldn't that, by extention, go to Illya since she's mini-Iri
>>24777779>whips and ropes and fun toysLoli bondage get.
>>24777735I have no problems with thatcaptcha: may legthtnNot "may", captcha, "has lengthened"
>>24777779Illya got the boring school version of the talk.We got the fun /ss/ version.
>>24777779>>24777790So, since Ilya got the shitty school version, and we got the hardcore Iri version, does that mean we're going to end up MORE lewd that Ilya?
"So I have to ask," you say, "what's this Kaleido-Pink business all about?"Hermione nearly smashes her head into her desk. Flustered, she turns towards you with a panicked expression, her mouth moving, but her throat too dry for any words to actually come out."How... I mean, I'm not..."You hold a hand up."Hermione, are you aware of what goes through people's heads when they see you in that dress?" you ask.She crosses her arms."I've been assured that the Kaleidostick's stealth capabilities are the best in the multiverse. No one should have known it was me - it directly edits the memories of people to-"You cut her off."Think that it's 'Not Hermione Granger, who most certainly is not the weilder of the powerful and most ancient artifact, the Kaleidostick,'" you say. "Or at least, that's what it said when you were fighting that werewolf the other day."Something inside of Hermione seems to crack. She tilts slightly off kilter, getting a slightly crazed look in her eyes."Oh, I'm going to -kill- that man..." she mutters. "Come on, come with me."She forcibly pulls you out of the classroom - you're not strong enough to resist. You...>Ask her where you're going>Inform her that Illya think's she's sleeping with Zelretch>Ask her about Zelretch while you're on the move.>[OTHER]
>>24777840I don't think your sexuality is defined by the first time you heard the words
>>24777855>Inform her that Illya think's she's sleeping with Zelretch
>>24777855Tell her that you're not interested in Zelretch's used goods - and furthermore, he might kill you for NTRing him.
>>24777855>>Ask her about Zelretch while you're on the move.
>>24777855>Inform her that Illya think's she's sleeping with ZelretchPoke the bear!
>>24777855>Ask her about Zelretch while you're on the move.
>>24777855>Little Witch AcademiaFuck yeah.Wait.Sucy would be in Ravenclaw.Suddenly, Ravenclaw is appealing.>>24777855>Inform her that Illya think's she's sleeping with Zelretch
>>24777855>Ask her about Zelretch while you're on the move."So is the "that man" our ancient Egyptian math teacher? Or whatever his deal is?">>24777882>>24777901>>24777923As hilarious as this would be, we PROBABLY don't want to make the only two relevant people our age that we're on good terms with even more bitter toward one another than they already are.
>>24777855>>Inform her that Illya think's she's sleeping with ZelretchHopefully she lets go and we can convince her not to drag us into a corner and let Zelretch murder us.
>>24777964They're roughly friends.And you know it's happening.
>>24777855>Ask her about Zelretch while you're on the move.Lets not give her an excuse to engage in open warfare against Ilya. That ends well for exactly nobody.
>>24777923>inviting Sucy into the lab>performing magical SCIENCE! together into the wee hours
>>24777964perfect way to ask about him
>this threadmuh sidesanyways>go ask bout the zelretchmans a wizard and a vamp.we should probably get on the whole what the shit train.
"Please tell me that its Zelretch you're mad at, not me?" You ask.Hermione turns to you with a scary look. "Oh, don't worry Harry, it's not you I'm mad at," she forces her self to smile. "In fact, I'm quite grateful that you pointed out the issue to me before I wound up in an incident that was more... public than the ones that I've been involved with." She turns back forward, fire in her eyes. "It's Zelretch who I'm ticked off with. Zelretch, Zelretch, Zelretch, ZELRETCH!""So what's he like?" you ask. You fire off as many questions as you can, between breaths. "Is he older than he looks? Is he egyptian? Is he a vampire?" "He's like me, but worse," she spits, "He's definitely older than he looks. Not sure about the egyptian or vampire bits. But he's definitely a smarmy, know-it-all ARSE who... UGGGGH."You're almost flung forward as she comes to a stop in front of the door to Zelretch's office. She lets you tumble forward gently, pivotting on one foot and bringing her other foot up in a furious swing to his door. It crashes open, revealling...Zelretch peacably having tea, with a fellow that looks like a slightly older Gandalf the Grey."And speaking of my apprentice... and of the 'Child of Prophecy' for that matter." Zelretch chuckles. "Well, there they are, Albus!""Albus" throws Zelretch a dirty look. "You realize we have memory charms?"You...>Ask what a memory charm is.>Ready your invisible knife, just in case.>Ask Professor Zelretch if he's an ancient egyptian vampire wizard.>Ask Albus if he's Gandalf the Grey.>[OTHER]
>>24778309Ready the god damn knife. He's making threats.
>>24778309>Ask Albus if he's Gandalf the Grey.
>>24778309>Ask Professor Zelretch if he's an ancient egyptian vampire wizard.>Ask Albus if he's Gandalf the Grey.>Mention our wand isn't that phoenix wand thing he wanted.We've heard Dumbledore's first name, haven't we?
>>24778309>Ask Zelretch why he's having tea with Gandalf the Grey.
>>24778309>>Ask Professor Zelretch if he's an ancient egyptian vampire wizard.>>Ask Albus if he's Gandalf the Grey.We're ten. Not even eleven yet.
>>24778395So you're going to overlook people threatening you?
>>24778430No, we're going to ask really stupid questions first.
>>24778454That's a fair point, but I want to hold a grudge against him for it.
>>24778474>I want to hold a grudge against him for it.To be honest, this is so played out in fan works I can't stand it anymore. Let's hold a grudge over the memory charm thing (which we shouldn't even totally understand right now, unless we've been studying something other than thaumaturgy), but not beyond the first two months at Hogwarts. There is no reason at all for Harry to see Dumbledore as a bad person until he learns what he was guilty of way in the seventh year, and even then it's debatable.
>>24778540I don't know anybody who could declare someone a lifelong enemy for a possibly out of context statement made off-hand that they heard when they were ten.
>>24778309>[OTHER]Panic internally a bit.Because we totally dreamed about this meeting happening, guys. (Albeit in a mysterious dreamscape rather than in a schoolteacher's office.)Which means we probably feel like the FIRST half of the dream -- the bit with Ilya and the dress and the evil cup -- is going to happen, too. Which we very much don't want.So much for all those people telling us prophetic dreaming isn't a thing, eh?
>>24778562This plus>Ready your invisible knife, just in case.>Ask Professor Zelretch if he's an ancient egyptian vampire wizard.
"Oh that's the problem with you wizards," Zelretch says, brushing off Dumbledore's mentioning of memory charms. "You have this wonderfully exploitable gift inherent in your magecraft, and how to you seek to keep it a secret?" He makes a dismissive gesture. "The route favored by the crudest, least persuasive members of the community of Magi - Memory Modification."Unfortunately for Zelretch, he and Gandalf both forgot one thing - it was not you who opened the door and barged in upon their tea time. It was Hermione - an extremely irate Hermione. "Reassembling Personality Profile!"A blur of Black and Pink pounces from where Hermione had been standing, slamming into your math teach with all of the force of rage and frustration that has been building within her for the past who-knows-how-long. You turn towards Dumbledore."So, ah..." you ask... "Are you Gandalf the Grey?"The older man chokes on something that he had been eating. "No... no I'm not, Mr. Potter. Though I'm glad to see the younger generation taking an interest in mundane culture.""And..." you look at him warily. "What's this about memory charms."The older man looks a bit sheepish. "Just a doddering old fool unwilling to pass on his burdens to the next generation."You... don't quite understand that bit, but okay then. You look towards the hole in the school Hermione made - she and Zelretch seem to be going at it. You hope there won't be too much collateral damage. Dumbledore reaches into his robe, and pulls out...A piece of hard candy. Must have been what he choked on."Care for a lemon drop, Harry?" he says, pulling out a second after he starts on the first.You...>Accept the proferred bit of candy>Lower your glasses so you can check its death lines.>Ask Not!Gandalf why he carries around so many lemon drops.>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.>[OTHER]
>>24778540What did he do again? Fuck a goat?Or should I just fuck off and re-read all seven books (that I clearly can't remember that well) now that I have some free time?
We're about to 404 off the board.
>>24778585>>Ask Not!Gandalf why he carries around so many lemon drops.Stupid question out of the way:>>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.Maybe the lemon drop once we're sure he's safe.
>>24778585>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.
>>24778585>Ask Not!Gandalf why he carries around so many lemon drops.>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.In order of importance, of course.
>>24778585>Lower your glasses so you can check its death lines.Probably the most hilariously useful secondary use of MEoDP. Enchanted stuff tends to have abnormal lines.
>>24778585"I'm not supposed to take candy from strangers."and/or check dem death lines.Also "I'm just here to see my math teacher."
>>24778585>>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.This one.
>>24778634If we do that now, we should probably do that to everything we eat, at least once we leave Kerry's house.
>>24778622I should rephrase, we're auto-saging.
>>24778602That was his brother, the Hogsmeade barkeep. Dumbledoe was a regular Hitleryouth back in the day, and fell in love with Wizard Hitler. Grindelwald, knowing this, used Dumbledore "for the greater good" until Dumbledore's sister was killed in a three-way duel. Then WWII happened.Also, he pretty much guided Harry into most of his near death experiences solely so his blood wards would activate when Voldemort killed him. Even Snape called him out on that.
>>24778622I'll make a new thread for this answer then.
>>24778634I dunno why we would feel compelled to try and figure out how to kill a lemon drop, though.Either we want the candy, and we'll eat it because we're a kid, and yay, candy... Or we are slightly skeptical of the guy, so we can just politely refuse to take the candy.No sense in scrutinizing the thing.>>24778585>Ask about the Child of Prophecy bit.Also...>[OTHER]Gesture out the hole in the wall."You seem remarkably unfazed by what just happened over there. This kind of thing happen a lot?"
>>24778704>Or we are slightly skeptical of the guy, so we can just politely refuse to take the candy.>>No sense in scrutinizing the thing.Precisely this.
>>24778356Don't think so