There's a lull in the conversation, and Assassin turns to us from his perch. "You should go." His voice is raspy, like a man who hasn't had a drink in days."Why is that?" Saber asks, almost defiant."There is no profit in your remaining. all you seek to do is anger myself and my Master. Begone.""Because we care ab out your opinions?" I ask, and as I do I regret it.Nothing about his posture changes, but something about the air in the church seems to change. It feels colder and darker than it was a moment ago, as Assassin begins to talk. "Child, you do not know even the nature of the game you find yourself playing. you are no more significant than a butterfly in the face of a typhoon. It is wise for the pretty little bugs to take heed when dragons dance, if they don't want to be swallowed in their wake."Saber freezes at his words. "Are you saying that you-""Do you wish to test your limits girl? You are not the one who kills me, so your wrath means nothing in these halls." With that, he turns away and seems to fall into a thoughtful silence. He seems to be completely oblivious the tension in the room, so thick it feels like I'm going to choke on it."Shirou...?" Saber asks, leaving the decision to me.[ ] Attack.[ ] Retreat.
>>24816257Withdraw coolly.It might just he an epic bluff, but it wouldn't be good to force the situation without backup.
>>24816257Let assassin pretend he's awesome.Leave
>>24816257>[ ] Retreat.And once we are outside, Caladbolg that Church. Just have Rin hoodwink witnesses into thinking it was a gas explosion or something.
>>24816257>>24816337Second this. Retreat, we have better battles to fight. Besides, he might weaken some of the other Servants and make it easier for us.
>>24816366That was weird, couldn't post for 5 min
Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb now with mirror links if the Mediafire ones give you problems for some reason.>>24816257>[ ] Retreat.We came here to talk ad get answers anyway. Even with Seiba we're not prepared to fight, we don't know what this Assassin is capable of yet.
>>24816399>voice is raspy, like a man who hasn't had a drink in daysI think we can safely say that he can't whistle
>>24816257>[ ] Retreat.NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPEAssassin has gone all funky on us. We might not be able to handle the funk.
Saber and I slowly back out of the church, and I feel the oppressive air pressing on me less and less with every step.When we get back into the sunlight, my phone buzzes. Six missed calls, all from Rin."Did it not ring?"I shrug, and hold it out towards the church. As I do, the bars drop quickly to 'no signal'. "Something about the church. Or it's occupants.""That's odd. Didn't it work before?" Before I can answer, Saber points to something nearby. A handful of black lines? "It was one of those runes. It looked different from the others but...." We watch in silence as it erases itself over the course of several seconds."We... We need to-"[ ] Regroup with Rin.[ ] Investigate the runes.[ ] Confront Avenger.[ ] Go home.[ ] (Other).
>>24816555>[ ] Regroup with Rin.>[ ] Investigate the runes.We need her brain. Now.
>>24816555>[ ] Regroup with Rin.RIN, USE YOUR POWERFUL BRAIN TO TELL US WHATS HAPPENING.
>>24816555>[ ] Regroup with Rin.She's going to panic and think we got ourselves killed.>>24816399Whoops.
>>24816555>[x] Regroup with Rin.
>>24816555Call Rin, start snooping the runes
AC-Guy! Glad to see you, thanks for running the day before I have to wake up early for work.>>24816555>[x] Regroup with Rin.>[x] Investigate the runes.Shit be FUCKED.
>>24816555Take a picture of the runes with the phone and show it to Rin.
>>24816555>[ ] Regroup with RinQuick debrief on what happened to Kirei, and status on Lancer and Zouken. After that..>[ ] Investigate the runes.. with Rin.
>>24816555[x] Regroup with Rin.Rin! Assassin is being scary!
I call Rin immediately."Shirou? What happened?! Rider said you called and told her Kirei was dead!""Yeah, that's what Lancer told me." I respond. "I went to the church to investigate for myself.""What happened?""I don't know. Zouken's there with Assassin. He says he killed him and torched the corpse to make sure."".... Really?" Her voice is a little softer now."That's what he said. He might be lying." I hesitate. "Something about his Assassin is weird. I couldn't place it, but I get the feeling that if we pushed he would've killed both of us. Easily." I look to the space where the rune was. "I also just watched one of Avenger's runes fade out of existence.""... where are you, right now?""Outside the church.""Meet me at the park. The one by the bridge."I hesitate. "The one where the fire was?""Of course. What other park would I be talking about?" Rin asks irritated as she hangs up the phone.I nod to Saber and we move out, towards the bridge. When we arrive in the park, there's nobody there.[ ] Wait for Rin.[ ] Move towards the bridge.[ ] (other).
>>24817151>[x] Do Spooky MAgics
>>24817151[x] Move towards the bridge.
>>24817151[ ] Wait for Rin.Stew in the trap
>>24817151>[ ] Move towards the bridge.The best way to get over your PTSD is to go to the place where the event happened Shirou.No guarantees it'll fix anything else though.
>>24817151>[x] Wait for Rin.
>>24817151>[ ] Call Rin. "We're at the park."Then wait.
>>24817151>[ ] (other).Call Rin again.I'm getting that "shit is going down" feeling. Leave nothing to chance.
>>24817419>>24817151>[ ] (other). Call Rin again.Yeah, I believe that's a good idea, no reason not to call her.
I give Rin a quick call, and she answers. "Hello?""At the park. Was wondering where you are.""... You're at the park already? We just reached the bridge. We'll be there in a few minutes." She then hangs up the phone, leaving Saber and I in silence."... Are you nervous?" Saber asks."No, why?""Because you're acting rather uncomfortable." She hesitates, looking around. "Is it the atmosphere?" I don't answer her. "It's certainly gloomy. This is where that fire happened, right?"I don't meet her gaze. "Yeah.""... Shirou, I've been meaning to ask you about that Dream...."[ ] Go meet Rin.[ ] Dodge the question.[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.
>>24817570>[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.>[ ] Go meet RinWalk and Talk. Just in case.
>>24817570>[ ] Go meet Rin.>[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.No reason we can't do both.
>>24817570>[ ] Dodge the question.C'mon Saber, press the issue
>>24817570>[x] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.
>>24817570>[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.>[ ] Go meet Rin.Talk: The Walkening
>>24817570>[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.
>>24817570[x] Ask why she wants to bring it up now.
>>24817570>[ ] Ask why she wants to bring it up now."Is there something I should know about?">[ ] Go meet Rin."This place gives me the creeps... I'd rather not talk about that here."
"Seems an odd time to bring it up." I respond, walking away."Shirou?""Come on, let's meet Rin on the bridge.""... Why not wait here?""Sooner we meet her the better." I answer calmly. "I've got a feeling that something big might be happening."Saber nods and follows me, and we walk along quickly. She looks to me several times along the way like she wants to say something, but keeps quiet. We arrive, and I see Rin approaching us with Sakura and Rider."Shirou? I wanted to meet at the park.""I wanted to meet up with you sooner." I pause. "Why the park, anyway?""Nobody's ever there. It would've given us a degree of privacy to talk." She looks around. ".... not many people here at the moment, so I suppose it doesn't much matter."I see Saber look at me concerned over Rin's shoulder, as I turn to talk to her. "Right. You're the smart one here, what's the plan?"Rin looks at me slightly surprised before thinking. "I'm not sure we should be more concerned about the Runes or about what happened to Kirei. Whatever Avenger's plotting is bad, but Zouken making a move like this and ignoring the Church's authority is a little terrifying."Sakura nods, concerned. Rider seems to be watching me impassively.[ ] Runes.[ ] Church.
>>24817810> I am wracked by indecision and cannot decide.
>>24817810>[ ] Runes.
>>24817810[x] Church.Bring up the whole 'interference' thing Zouken was going on about.Maybe we should get Bazzet on speakerphone and see how well she really knew Kirei?
>>24817810Uhhhh.... errmmmmmmm... duhrrrrrrrThis is hard.>[x] ChurchAssassin received a powerup from somewhere. Thats no bueno.
>>24817844Can we call bazett first?
>>24817810Ehhhh...>[ ] Runes.
>>24817810Ultimately I like Zouken less than I like Avenger. [x]Church.Plus, even if Kirei WAS a dick, he was also awesome.
Incoming new harem memberHow long before Karen shows up?
>>24817944...what makes you say that?
>>24817935There is no way he's dead. No way. I REFUSE
>>24817810Whilst I get the feeling that this'll lead to a dead end;>[x] Church
>>24817810Runes. Funny how they JUST kicked in after we confronted Assassin. Investigation is in order!
>>24817810>[ ] Church.>>24817954I'm guessing it's because there is no supervisor from the Church in Fuyuki at the moment. And she's pretty much the only other character available with ties to the Church.
>>24817955He might be. He only makes it to the end in 2/3 routes.He gets exploded by Lancer, like a bitch a ways before the end in UBW route. So there is precedent for him dying.
Runes:>>24817843>>24817910>>24817918>>24817953>>24817981Church:>>24817844>>24817898>>24817935>>24817960>>24817981I just realized I never saved TieVotes.gif, so thank you for being the tiebreaker.
>>24818006....And then you show up.
>>24818012Eh. might as well change my vote to runes then to break the tie.
The runes were different from the ones we normally saw, so why not see if we can find some traces of them back at the church? They might not be the same as the ones we've been looking at previously.
>>24818066Just to clarify, voting for runes, but pointing attention to the new ones.
>>24817955I doubt it myself, if only because Zouken or True Assassin would have EATEN the corpse. Still though, Shirou wouldn't know that...>>24817944That would be pretty cool. She's basically Kirei with tits, except she manages to keep both Gilgamesh and Lancer in line through sheer force of will instead of Command Seals. Hell, I don't think she's even got Command Seals.Also, it has come to my attention that I have no images of Caren. I will need to fix this post-haste. I'm going to the boorus, don't look for me if I don't come back.
Why don't we activate the whole team? Get a hold of Caster and Lancer, tell them the runes are moving, and ask for help.
>>24818099Scramble all Servants? We do need someone to hold down the Fort. Illya is very important here, personally as well as tactically.Can Sakura function as a Grail Core again?
>>24818086The difference between Kirei and Caren is that Caren is a sadist with morals.
>>24818137No, the 4th war grail shards weren't implanted in her. She never was the black grail in F/SA. It was the crestworm that we removed.
>>24818137>Can Sakura function as a Grail Core again?The odds of that are effectively zero. First of all, Zouken never got his hands on the Grail shards from the 4th war. Now he may have lied about that, but the fact that he's completely lost interest in Sakura supports the idea that he never had them.Plus she's had Rule Breaker used on her. That thing is indiscriminate, so anything bound to her would have had its connection severed.
Still looking for pictures of Caren. Nothing good, but I did find pic related, which is thirty different kinds of win. There's a whole pool of these on danbooru.>>24818143And a body that experiences pain in the presence of evil. There's a reason she never spent time with her father...
>>24818137Um, I don't think anyone is with Ilya right now. Saber, Rin and Team Purple are here. Caster and Souichirou are prepping their base (lovenest). And Lancer and Bazett are on their own
>>24818143Also, she disbelieves in the concept of pants/skirts in combat, and just runs around in underwear and pantyhose if I remember right.
>>24818192Sakura's with Ilya.
>>24818192Oh crap, Taiga and Ilya are practicing for the Dojo aren't they.
>>24818205>and I see Rin approaching us with Sakura and Rider.
>>24818205.....>>24817810>Sakura nods, concerned. Rider seems to be watching me impassively.[x]Panic
>>248182051. No she isn't. She came with Rin. >>248178102. Even if she was, that wouldn't make me feel a SINGLE BIT BETTER, because Sakura would only slow Ilya down if the shit hit the fan.
>>24818143Well....except sexual morals.I know the Japanese tend to conflate Shinto priestess tropes with Nun tropes, but the woman goes beyond cutesy flirtation into broderline 'I'm gonna nail you!' levels.>>24818157>>24818169Just checking. I figured we'd cleared up most of the problem with worms, but if I were an Evil Wizard looking for a Grail core, I'd strongly consider using the girl who has buttloads of extra magic circuits as a potential guinea pig.>>24818190I love the one where it's Kirei as the mortifcian, with Archer as the lab-guy and Robin hood (!) as the CSI specialist
"We should focus on the runes. Kirei's... concerning, but he wasn't really a Major player. He was just there to keep things from getting too out of hand, and that hasn't been going well since this was the third attempt on his life that we know of."Rin nods. "Alright, there's a mark nearby. In that park."We walk back towards the park, and Rin looks at it. she fishes out a picture Lancer gave us. "It's changed. Looks like some part of the markings are gone.""... so they're fading?""Yeah." She frowns. "It's weird though. Even if the magic went away, the marks themselves shouldn't be fading.""So.... What's this?""Well, I'm not sure. I mean, like a countdown or something? But then it should be moving constantly, not changing a little bit once every couple of days." She shakes her head. "This is... odd. I'm not sure what to make of it. If we knew what was changing it....."I nod, looking at everyone else. Sakura looks distracted by her own thoughts, and Rider's watching her with a mixture of concern and apathy. saber's with Rin, staring at the mark as though a pointed glare would convince it to surrender its secrets.>Actions?
>>24818226Ask Sakura about her thoughts. Does this seem familiar to her? Or do we need to play therapist again?I'm tempted to just say 'screw it!' then split up and go back to the church with a Servant or two, but I'm feeling uneasy about Assassin.
>>24818192>>24818202>>24818213>>24818217>>24818222RIN YOU FOOL!You did the one thing you must never do in these kinds of situations!YOU SPLIT THE PARTY!And not a good 50-50 split either, the horrible 90-10 split with the (second) most vulnerable girl off on her own! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
>>24818226> "We should focus on the runes. Kirei's... concerning, but he wasn't really a Major player. He was just there to keep things from getting too out of hand, and that hasn't been going well since this was the third attempt on his life that we know of."NooooooooooooooooWell, I guess I can look forward to his surprise return at the end of the route.
>>24818226...What if it's a different kind of countdown? Not counting time, but Servants? After all, SOMETHING happened to Assassin.
Is this going to be like last time where we [X] Panic over Ilya only to find out that say... Avenger is stalking Ayako
We also dont really know if caster is actually caster due to memory discrepencies.
>>24818226Guys.Everyone is here.All our servants, all our magi.EXCEPT ILYA, the ADORABLE LITTLE SISTER, as well as the VERY IMPORTANT GRAIL VESSEL.Why is my Imouto sitting at home with no backup? What if Gilgamesh decides to make a house call?
>>24818223> yfw you realize she's 14
>>24818300She has...THE BOX.
>>24818226>Actions?Call Archer. I dunno if we should reveal this card already, but... 1.) He needs an alibi to prove he isn't in cahoots with Zouken.2.) Ask him to prove it by guarding Ilya.3.) ... I got nothing else. Damnit!
>>24818226"... Rin, did you leave Ilya at home by herself?"
>>24818226>>24818300"Now, I know this may sound random, but why is Ilya the only one not here?""I mean, its probably nothing, but the last time i though to myself "huh, a person I care about isn't where they logically should be" was with Taiga. Turned out she was preparing a surprise for me. THE SURPRISE WAS VAMPIRES."
>>24818300>What if Gilgamesh decides to make a house call?
>>24818300Phone call to Archer-In-Red. Shirou knows that he cares about Illya, right?Could we pawn off sister-sitting duties to not!future!self?
>>24818351You're heartless, anon, posting an image like that.
>>24818368Heartless? But now he has two!
Runes fading, huh? Sounds like they're being used up, like command seals. What kind of magic has Avenger's team used recently?
>>24818368>anonPardon?Also, nice.I suppose there IS an alternative to AUO crushing Illya's feelings literally and figuratively but I think it's unlikely. We never did have that drinking contest.
>>24818439Fuck forgot pic.
"... Where's Ilya?""... At the house." Rin answers, distracted."... By herself?" I ask."Well y-" She freezes as the implications of what I said pass through everyone's mind."The most physically vulnerable person on our side is currently alone. On the other side of town." Rider says, visibly tensing. "Shirou?"I nod and she grabs me with one arm over my shoulder and we sprint back home."Is this terribly dangerous?""Well, it might be nothing. The last time I noticed someone I cared about wasn't where they should be, I got a surprise from Taiga.""Well that's-""THE SURPRISE WAS VAMPIRES.""... A fair point." We hit the far side of the water and she lets go, the two of us making our way back to the house quickly. I run inside, open the door.... and see a surprised Ilya partly into a small tub of Ice-Cream watching T.V."... Onii-chan? Is something wrong?""... I'm not sure anymore." I say, sitting down. "Are you here alone?""... No, I've got Bedivere. Caster and Souichirou have been coming and going every few minutes as they're moving as well."I close my eyes, sitting against the wall and let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. I hear Rider calling Rin to inform her that it was a false alarm while Ilya hides the Ice Cream.They both give me mildly concerned looks, as I sit there catching my breath.[ ] Talk to Ilya.[ ] talk to Rider.
>>24818548[x] Talk to Illya. Thank Rider, but talk to Illya.
>>24818548[x] Talk to Ilya.
Do we have any images of the runes? Like a camera or a sketch?
>>24818548>[x] Talk to Ilya.
>>24818548>[ ] Talk to Ilya.Part of rune markings disappearing, Assassin's getting power-ups, Kirei dead and maybe pulling strings at the side all along, doubts about Lancer's honesty... Man we got a lot on our plate here.
>>24818548>[ ] Talk to Ilya.Zouken is potentially hostile again and on the loose, and ASSASSIN STRONK.We're instituting a mandatory battle-buddy system. Nobody goes anywhere without a combat-ready Servant, or Shirou, on hand.
>>24818548>and see a surprised Ilya partly into a small tub of Ice-Cream watching T.V.>calling Rin to inform her that it was a false alarm while Ilya hides the Ice Creammy heart. why
>>24818660>Servant, or ShirouYeah at this point we should get Archer to come back.
>>24818660thIS IS A GOOD PLAN.
>>24818660Good simple plan. USE IT!
We left saber with rin and sakura.And saber still holding bags of newly bought clothes.The conversations they must be having.We'll be lucky if the only give us evil eyes when they start discussing shirou's behaviour today.
>>24818883>evil eyes>not rape eyeseverything_went_better_than_expected.jpg
>>24818883The dating floodgates have been opened! Our death warrant is sealed
Rider wanders away to check on Caster's progress as Ilya sits across from me. "So exactly what happened?"I tell her about the church, about the Lunch and about what happened at the Mall. She silently nods along, listening closely to what was said to Zouken and what was done around the marks.She surprises me with a hug. "Still hard, huh?""... What?""Sorry, you don't like talking about it. Obviously." She frowns, thinking. "Well I don't think we should tell Rin what Zouken said about Kirei. She's got enough to worry about, and he could've been lying.""I think we need to have some sort of buddy system. We basically have three Magi and three physical combatants. We might as well make sure we're paired off whenever we leave the house.""You mean yourself and the Servants?" She's thoughtful. "Yeah, that might work. In most contexts, you wouldn't really count like that, but given how things are working currently...." Ilya sighs. "Alright. I want to go and investigate one of these Runes. I believe the one at the school is nearest to here?"".... Yes, but it might be better to look at the one near the Matou house instead. The School has people wandering around."Ilya nods, then looks around. "You should probably tell Rider to go back to the others then."I nod, looking out the window and seeing her enter the Dojo.[ ] Talk to Rider.[ ] Ask Ilya something else (?).[ ] See if Caster's available.
>>24818932>[ ] See if Caster's available.We should probably warn her that Assassin has been eating his spinach as soon as possible. That would be a nasty fucking surprise for her if he turned up and decided to wreck some shit.
>>24818932>[ ] Ask Ilya something else (?)Do you Catan?
>>24818932[x] Talk to Rider.Leave a note for Caster?
>>24818932 >"Still hard, huh?"Shirou's still has a boner from this morning?
>>24818932>[ ] See if Caster's available.
>>24818932>[ ] Talk to Rider.And as >>24818985 said, leave a note for Caster.Something along the lines of "Kirei may be dead, Zouken active, and Assassin got big. The impression I got was that he may be "able to waste Saber and I in a 2v1" big. Watch your back."
>>24819025THis sounds good.
I walk out to the shed to talk to Rider, and see her rubbing one arm awkwardly. "I smell blood.""Huh? Oh right, that injury the other day." I frown, looking at the corner of the Dojo that's still red. "I never got around to cleaning it."She squirms uncomfortably. "... Can I?""Can you what?"".... The fresh blood. I haven't had anything since...." She sighs. "I can live without, but..... the smell is making it harder.""It's uncomfortable?""It's like having a drug withdrawal, only there isn't a part where I might get over it. I just slowly get worse until I can't control it." she frowns. "It's my legend. Consuming people is part of it, so I need to get a taste every so often to maintain. Shinji didn't care, but Sakura doesn't like innocent people getting hurt.""... How close do you think you are to losing control?""Without the scent of blood? A few more days, probably, at least until sneaking away for a snack seems tempting." She shakes her head. "Even with the smell in the air all it's doing is making me drool, I could last a few hours in these conditions." She frowns. "Then again, I WAS drawn out here for some reason.""The smell?""Probably." She looks at me. "but you came out here to talk, yes? Not get better acquainted with my curse?"[ ] Talk to her about the marks.[ ] Talk to her about Sakura.[ ] Talk to her about the blood.[ ] Talk to her about Caster.[ ] Let her feed.
>>24819309>[x] Let her feed.Because this can't POSSIBLY end badly. We are too nice for our own good.
>>24819309[ ] Let her feed.
>>24819309>[ ] Let her feed.>[ ] Talk to her about Sakura.
>>24819309>[ ] Talk to her about the blood."I thought you considered mine bland?"Then, if she's still okay with it.>[ ] Let her feed.
>>24819309>[ ] Let her feed.If she decides to drink from the neck:"You're a real pain in the neck, you know that?"If this is going to become a thing, we're getting a blood spit-take out of her eventually.
>>24819309>[ ] Let her feed.>[ ] Talk to her about the blood.So, what parts of the body are best for drinking blood from?
>>24819309>[ ] Let her feed.Come back to her later and >[ ] Talk to her about the blood.I'd rather not get between her and a meal, and asking if something like a very rare steak can curb her need to feed for a while, or if it would just make things worse for being not quite the right blood.>>24819352And then Rider accidentally bites our jugular.
>>24819380>Implying that would kill us for more than 30 seconds
>>24819388Ah, right. Sorry, half asleep and forgot that we won't die when we're killed thanks to Avalon and swordification.
>>24819309[x] Let her feed."Please be gentle, it's my first... no wait Ilya's beat you there. Nevermind."
>>24819309[ ] Let her feed. and seconding >>24819352>>24819454Guys, Why did we not tell Zouken about the fading marks. We were RIGHT there. With an ancient magi that knows this shit.
>>24819477>Guys, Why did we not tell Zouken about the fading marks. We were RIGHT there. With an ancient magi that knows this shit. We were busy going NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE away from a grumpy uber-Assassin.>>24819454Rider already had a sip back at the temple a LOOOOOONG time ago. Sadly, the time for that joke is long past.
>>24819477Because assassin was all "Fuck of. Now." and we weren't there to be friends with Zouken.>spin-off ailmatCaptcha wants to know when there will be a CP of Shirou being allergic to sympathy.
>>24819501>>24819508But he was grumpy because we were being pests. Inquiring about possible death flag plot hook for the mutual benefit of both parties is grump-proof. We gun get rekt now son. ;_;
"Yeah, alright."Rider hesitates. ".. What?""It's not like you need a lot, right?" I respond, pulling my shirt down slightly and exposing my shoulder. "Just try not to get blood on my shirt. I've been going through them recently."She smiles slightly, sliding up against me as I brush the hair out of her face. She leans in and gently bites the side of my neck. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would."So.... is the neck the best part for drawing blood out or something? Because it would be kinda unfortunate if you hit something vital. Real pain in the neck."Rider hesitates, looking at me questioningly as she slowly backs me against the wall. She then resumes feeding, a little more forceful this time."Well, you're feisty all the sudden. I thought you said mine was bland?""Quiet." Rider says with a sudden harshness as her hand slowly wraps around my throat."... Sorry. I didn't know my jokes were that ba-" He backhand catches me off guard."You don't get to make jokes. Who the hell are you, and where's Shirou?">?
>>24819477>Why not tell?.... Because we didn't know at the time of the conversation?
>>24819546Aww shit... Merlin was right??"What are talking about? I'm Shirou!"Then infodump her on all the intimate details that other people don't know about.
>>24819546[x] Tell her we're going to trace a sword. Then trace a sword.
>>24819546"Oh dammit, is my soul gone again? Rider, it's me. At least as me as I think I am since all this started."
Watch, They were some kind of Kirei maintained ambient prana harvesters maintained by kirei or something and now that they're gone Avenger's gonna have to choke a lot of bitches. He'll have Gil Gate of Babylon Archer until he bursts into treats. And then they'll start harvesting the town as a chursch investigation team comes in when Kirei misses his morning call. And they call in for backup. And the the magi association sends enforcers to find out what the actual fuck is going on. And then there's enforcers busting through walls, executors popping out of fire hydrants, it's raining orphan limbs and Zouken is riding a tidal wave of worms to harvest the most amount of wimmenz. We'll lose a hand getting Ilya out of the town as we flee to live out the rest of our lives peacefully in the Balkans telling war stories to pur daughter about how back in our day we had to project the tea kettle!>>24819546B-But I asked you to see if you toss the idea of Sakura sharing into her dream to see how she takes it.
>>24819546>HeTypo?"Uh what are you talking about rider? I'm the same me I've always been... I know there have been some serious soul shenanigans - but it's the same me that you had a taste of back at the temple."
>>24819546"...Last time I checked I was Shirou. If I'm not Shirou, who am I?">>24819574I think it's Avenger. Last time Rider sucked out blood it was at night, and right now it's daytime. In F/HA, Avenger was Shirou during the daytime, and separated at night somehow.I don't know all the details, my knowledge comes from Battle Moon Wars.
>>24819546WHEN DID I STOP BEING SHIROU?WHY WAS I NOT INFORMED OF THIS SOONER?
>>24819602>Rider, it's me. At least as me as I think I am since all this started.confuse her long enough to break the grip?
>>24819614Definitely this one, no one can be as wrong and confused as Shirou can
Shifting from >>24819604 to >>24819614It's glorious
>>24819614>>24819632Somehow, this just makes me laugh more and more, like a recursive loop of confusion.
>>24819625>confuse her long enough to break the grip?God no. The last thing we want to do is cause misunderstandings and fights and horrible getting-people-killed tragedy.This is going to go down calmly and rationally.
>>24819546>FATE / STAY 2 : SHIROU GETS HIS SOUL BACK>Similar to stella getting her groove back
>>24819614Shirou knows no fearOnly mind-numbing, brain melting confusion
>>24819613"Rider, hey, hey, rider, hey, what if - and this is just speculative - but what if i tasted like i didn't have a soul last time cause... MAYBE I'M A WERE-SWORD"
>>24819720"I mean it was night last time - and the full moon was out, which means my were-sword powers would have been at maximum... but now that its daytime my were-sword powers are hidden"
>>24819614Follow this up with >>24819720 after the inevitable confused silence the initial nonsensical outburst will cause.Because Shirou's mind does strange things when it tries to move too fast.
>>24819768And then she loses control and finally uses that riding skill while draining us dry. And then Ilya walks in and makes everything uncomfortable.
>>24819774because being drained dry isn't already uncomfortable as it is.
>>24819789I don't think he's talking about blood dear anon.Well, maybe ALSO blood.
... Hmm...Merlin thought that Shirou was off camping somewhere, right?We thought (well, I'm not sure what we thought, maybe something like "Avenger is sending false signals" or something) it was Avenger being there and making himself seem like Shirou... but maybe it really was Shirou there and we are a pod person?Also -- maybe the runes fading now have something to do with this?Or maybe we still are Shirou, but Avenger is doing something to obfuscate and confuse that?>eUsink similarYes captcha, they might be doppelgangers or something...
>>24819800Its something like that, but between the runes changing and the various other factors it'll be hard to isolate any single variable that may have made the difference.I think our best bet is to go kick over Avenger's sand castle and try to prompt him into an evil-guy expository monologue.
>>24819817Does that work when they're not actually that evil?
".... WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M NOT SHIROU!?""What the hell do you THINK I MEAN?!" She growls as she roughly shoves me back into the wall."I'M PRETTY SURE I'M SHIROU. At lest I was the last time I checked, what with the whole kissing and stuff. That was me. Same guy."It has pretty much the opposite effect I was going for as she curses me for taking something meant for 'him' and punches me in the stomach. "Bastard! When did you do it? When did you make the switch?!""Rider, I need you to calm down. I seriously have no idea what the fuck's going on, and you're starting to freak me out.""The fuck do I care about your feelings?"".. Alright, first? Ouch. Second? Why do you think I'm not me?""The blood tastes different. The only way it could change that much is if you were a totally different person." She frowns, leaning in. "The Real Shirou has a lot more Iron in his blood, and doesn't taste like old leather.""... Maybe I'm a were-sword or something? My soul comes and goes with the phases of the moon?!""The real Shirou isn't this stupid either.""Would not place money on that." I say worried. "It's really scary to see someone you care about suddenly turn on you like this, so I'm not thinking straight."Rider hesitates, like she's hearing me talk for the first time. ".... Goddamn you." she says after a long moment like she's barely containing a sob. "Why did you have to do that, and make this so hard?"I open my mouth to ask her what she means as Ilya opens the door behind her. I see the scared look on her face as Rider's nail goes straight towards my heart.[DC16 combat check]
Rolled 1>>24819823OH GOD NOT AGAIN
Rolled 5>>24819844OH YOU FUCKING TWAT
Rolled 13>>24819823IF I WAS AN IMPOSTER WHY WOULD I LET YOU DRINK MY BLOOD.NO ONE IS THAT STUPID.
Rolled 15>>24819844YOU JUST LOST DICE PRIVILEGES.>>24819823Dice.
>>24819844Oh, fuck. Of all the times for us to have rolled a 1...
Rolled 5>>24819823...God damn it, Nappa.
>>24819867Hey, all those last 4 rolls came in at the exact same time. I say the crits cancel each other out and we're left with regular failure
>>24819862Three rolls late!
Rolled 2>>24819844?POR QUE?
>>24819844>>24819850>>24819857RIP not enough swords in the world Shirou
>>24819844CATCH THE NAIL WITH OUR CHESTWRITE THAT IT WASN'T HER FAULT IN OUR OWN BLOOD BEFORE WE PASS OUT
>>24819844>>24819862God. Fucking. DAMN IT.
Rolled 20>>24819823I just wanted to get you a real body, land a stable job, and we could settle down in a 3dlk wiht bike-chan!
>>24819844Official Shirou KillcountHarem: 2THAT BIKE: 1Team Avenger: 0
>>24819890This. A thousand times this. This is the Shirou(tm) Reaction.
>>24819862>>24819899...We can save these for later, right?...RIGHT?
>>24819844>>24819862>>24819899Based ac guy, please let the two 20's cancel out the crit fail
>>24819890Well, that would salvage the situation in the long term.And its a very Shirou thing to do.
Rolled 2>>24819923Even with the crit fail, it was compounded with low rolls.EVEN IN DEATH I STILL FAIL
>>24819923NO, FUK YOUWE UROBUTCHER NOWDO YOU HAVE ENOUGH TEARS IN STOCK, KING OF FEELS?
>>24819920Yep, in that sequel AC-Guy has planned. It's going to be a real heartwrencher.I almost wish I didn't use >>24818415 already.
I tink we just burned a Fate point
Rolled 8>>24819938Jesus, I really need to turn that dice off....one more time can't hurt...
So hey, At least in death we've solved the mystery. Avenger is doing some kind of skinwalker/spirit parasite shit. Too bad he'll be too traumatized if he SWORDS his way out of this one to remember Merlins crap.
9999 hours in MSpaint
>>24819985>FEARFUL LEGEND INVOKED
>>24819979>...one more time can't hurt...y u do dis
Anyone else thinking that her reaction to this was directly proportional to how many points we have with her? Because we've got a shit-ton of Rider points, and she freaked RIGHT THE FUCK OUT.At least we die knowing someone cared enough about us to have an irrational homicidal rampage when they thought we were kidnapped.
>>24819994Congrats anon! Your picture was enough to make AC-Guy laugh so hard it triggered an Anxiety attack.Everybody go grab a drink while he recovers from that. He's gonna need a few minutes.
>>24820067"What" doesn't even begin to cover it...
>>24820049inb4 Quasi Heaven's feels ending. Zouken knocks over Avenger's plan and gropes servant hearts. Somewhere along the line of trying to assassinate caster in the Emiya place he ends up saving Sakura & Rider from Gilgamesh. Heart soothing Reconciliation happens. Zouken and Sakura survive to the end and destroy the grail. Sakura uses Plot to keep Rider after the war. Every weekend they bring Plum tea and chinese food to Shirou's grave in the hope that he'll get mad enough to just suddenly reappear. He wont Sakura+Shirou blowup doll+Rider End
Rolled 14>>24820033Just rolled a D&D character with no stats above 12. My DM ended up giving me a 16 so that I wasn't completely overshadowed by the rest of the party.Of course, this and that didn't connect until just now. But I figure I may as well use my powers for evil, now that they have been revealed.
>>24820067I'M S-S-SORRY AC-GUY!DO NOT PUNISH THE OTHERS FOR MY INDISCRETION, I DO NOT KNOW MY OWN STRENGTH.I finally made AC-Guy lose it. I'm finally a man.
>>24820067How did he... Did he stop breathing or something for a few seconds from laughing so much and started panicking?
>>24820067I guess laughter...Wasn't the best medicineYEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH
>>24820067Remember in case of anxiety attack, remove yourself from situation, go do something distracting and productive.Brushing your teeth can work for all of these
>>24819890Done, sorry it took so long (it's shabby but whatever)
>>24820108I have a feeling that isn't going to help matters when AC-Guy returns.
>>24820107I'd guess yes.I've had the same thing happen to me once or twice. Its not a pleasant experience. Well, for the first 30 seconds it is. Then the next 30 are terrifying. Kinda like our little romp with Rider just now
>>24820067You gotta be shitting me.
>>24820067Well at least he'll be in-character for Shirou's reaction.
>>24820128I may have a bad habit of poking things when told specifically not to. Here, have a harem
>>24820173... why is Saber naked?
>>24820200She's the King, she can wear whatever the fuck she wants.Even the Emperor's threads.
>>24820200The amusing part is it must be 100% voluntary, because she can cloth herself whenever she damn well pleases with magic.
>>24820200"Fuck clothes, I have a Shirou."
>>24820242>>24820221>>24820211>Go take a short walk to calm myself down.>Come back to this.>You assholes.>Post was mostly done when I had my... moment, so It's up in just a second.
>>24820256Two in one thread. We're on a roll.Now, if the dice would just behave...
>>24820256I mean, there was really no point in making us wait.All you had to do was post the inevitable "And then Rider perforated your vital organs.", and you'd be able to take all the time you'd like on your walk!
>>24820303Unless Illya jumped in the way.
>>24820303It'll take more than a few internal organs to put Shirou out of commission! No, our body will just go FULL SWORD and we accidentally traumatize poor Rider when she realizes her mistake.
>>24820314Oh god, don't even joke.She's twice as breakable as we are, WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT
>>24820322>>24820314STOP GIVING HIM IDEAS
>>24820314>I see the scared look on her face as Rider's nail goes straight towards my heart.Aw, c'mon, man. Ilya's heart can't take much more abuse this thread.
>>24820314No! Back Urobuchi, you have no power here! Be gone back to the nether realm!
>>24820332>Ilya's heartBastard, you did that on purpose
The nail slams home, right into my ribs. I must've twitched at the last moment, because it doesn't quite catch my heart. I stare at Rider, shocked.As I close my eyes, the last thing I hear is Ilya's terrified and confused scream.I come to vomiting on my knees, sudden disorientation overwhelming me. I open my eyes, and see darkness. There's voices nearby.[ ] Let my eyes adjust.[ ] Move on instinct.
>>24820380[x] Move on instinct.
>>24820380>[ ] Move on instinct.Let anyone in the vicinity know we're still alive(-ish?) and kicking.
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.Assess before action.
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.Hooray for randomly guessing whatever action will save our life!
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.If she's still flipping the fuck out, sudden movements will only exacerbate the situation.
>>24820380[x] Let my eyes adjust.Chances are we've just been fucking nailed (literally) by rider... to the wall. Moving is going to result in bad things.
>>24820380>[ ] Move on instinct.MOVE YOU DOUBLE SHIROU'S. WE'RE IN THE GODDAMN MOUNTAIN NOW! ROLL MOTHERFUCKER ROLL AWAY!!!
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.As Shirou as it would be to immediately up and decide "Just got stabbed in the chest; I should probably stagger out and let everyone know I'm alright and they don't have to worry!", we probably want to get our bearings before doing anything that could get us into more trouble.
>>24820380>[ ] Let my eyes adjust.We can't see. We're vomiting. And people are talking.Suddenly flailing about with no idea what the fuck is going on is either going to tear half our chest out on the damn nail, or prompt someone jumpy into attacking us.
>>24820412No, wait.>[X] OTHER: "Not... Rider's... Fault."because we have no idea if Saber is rushing home trying to kill Rider.
>>24820463Oh shit, didn't think of that
>>24820444Dude. We just got stabbed recently. If we were at home we'd have multiple worrying girls that you couldn't pry off our futon-side no matter how well Rin+SWORDS patched us up. At least not until we woke up. We aren't in Fuyuki anyore.
>>24820463THIS.FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK THIS.If we have enough control to attempt movement, we can croak out three words.
>>24820380>Move on InstinctBecause flailing wildly is always the best action!
>>24820463Aw hell, this is amusing enough that we should probably do it regardless of what the vote comes down to.
>>24820463But then the first word came out as an unintelligible gurgle...
>>24820463Ahahah, this needs to at least play a part in what goes on.
>>24820482We have no idea how much time passed. For all we know its been 5 seconds and Rider is still flipping her shit.
>>24820380Let eyes adjust. Acting without intel could make the situation worse.
[x] Let my eyes adjustMoving without information/data would be bad. Maybe something to do with those wards is now kicking in? If we were still at home, somebody would be worrying over us.
>>24820484Shirou's instinct is SWORDS. Moving on instinct while we're disoriented and we cant see is probably going to end up with us murdering rider by accident. Also if that nail went *through* us, we're currently nailed to a wall, and attempting to move will result in nothing but agony.
>>24820463Yes. This must happen.If Saber bursts in and sees Rider's nail in our chest, she's going to murder first and ask questions later. And Rin sure as shit won't stop her.
Dang it, I want to participate some more, but I think we're at the point where I have no idea what to do, plus my router's acting screwy, and I have to catch some sleep to baby sit my niece in the morning.
>>24820506Hell, that's if Saber gets to her first. We've got at least one person who knows magic who saw it first hand, plus everyone else in the building who's going to be wondering WTF just happened.Technically, that includes us - We really don't know what happened either.
Let eyes adjust and make sure no one kills rider over this.
Well, it's possible we're still in our house.Or we could be out in the mountains after our connection to the, er, body was broken.So... We're not sure where we are, and we're not sure what to do.That "move on instinct" thing could as easily equate to "DOOOOODGE!" as it does to "counter-attack!"
On the up-side, we now know why Avenger forbade Gilgamesh from killing us. One the down-side... "Do I smell Mongrel?"
>>24820520Ilya is PROBABLY level-headed enough to know she can't drive off an angry Servant solo, nor could she escape if said Servant decided to gank her, so she'll attempt to talk until help arrives.She's a Magus born and raised, and specifically trained to the Grail War to boot. Her crisis management instincts will default to that, hopefully. She may be our adorable Imouto, but she's known us like a week. Hopefully a few days of happy-fun big brother time wasn't enough to override her rationality under pressure.
>>24820541>That "move on instinct" thing could as easily equate to "DOOOOODGE!" as it does to "counter-attack!"Or just flailing on the ground in pain like most impailed people do
>>24820541It could also mean "the nail -still impaled in your chest- takes half your lung with it as your flailing rips it free".
>>24820573So we gain an Iron Lung. Where's the problem in that?
>>24820573We're Shirou, we can just make a new one out of swords if we need to
>>24820562>>24820573If we're actually in the mountains, we would NOT have a nail in us though.Alternatively, if we're at home, our regeneration might have kicked in...... Or Rider simply could have pulled the nail out as soon as she stabbed us with it, rather than leaving us stapled to the wall.
>>24820586But we probably won't be talking (or doing much of anything, because we WILL pass out again if that happens) for a while.And whether or not we're capable of communication could very well determine if we can call off the Saber & Friends Revengeance Brigade in time.
>>24820596Though, yes, as you said its possible that the "instinct" stuff would lead to us flailing around and hurting ourselves some more.My point was more "we could be in various situations; AND each action could work out in some strange way."... Which is really just a wordy way of me saying "I'm nervous. Shit shit shit what do we do?"
>>24820602>call off the Saber & Friends Revengeance Brigade in time."Forgive her, my Harem! She knows not what she does!"
>>24820492But we're in the dark, with nobody watching the nearly dead guy to see if there's cardiac arrest, descent into shock, etc, and it's just voices nearby. Not outraged shouts. Not angry arguing. Just voices. Like, Whens 'venga gettin back m8. Ahm tired of drinkin tea waitin' fo' 'im ta get back. They sense anything wrong and there's going to be a Noble Phantasm sent RIGHT where the body formerly controlled by Avenger is.
>>24820596Thats possible, but not a risk I'm willing to take.We hear voices. We don't hear the sounds of battle, or frenzied screams, or anything of the sort. Sudden uncoordinated movements are just as likely to PROVOKE an attack as they are to avoid one, on top of all the other hypothetical risks.
The more I think about it, the fact that there's no screaming/fighting and that nobody is apparently worrying/watching over us or making the bleeding stop makes me think we're in the mountains now.Still think we should let our eyes adjust, but yeah.
I take a moment to listen in while my eyes adjust."So the simulacrum failed?""It is the only explanation. It seems as though he's regained awareness. Shame it didn't have time to report on his activities." A pause. "There may be time though. If he's returned in spirit, it'll try to return in body. No matter the cost.""That would be a sight to see." The other replies amused."If it doesn't arrive alive it will cost me a little of myself. Then again, what it would cost most if our information.""We can try and take the information out of him forcibly." Zouken responds.I'm stunned when I recognize the voice, as I realize my surroundings. The church Cellar. The place where-I vomit again. As I wipe my mouth I catch the end of something else Assassin says. "-seems to have taken the bait. Do you expect her to succeed?""I expect her to confuse the hell out of everyone and destroy their little alliance. She'll be desperate for the prize I've offered her." the two share a laugh as Assassin compliments Zouken on his deviousness. They're close. Not just outside the door, but they aren't far.>Actions?
>Get stabbed by girl we like, who is one of several girls we like and reciprocateWe School Days now
>>24820656Could always be a time skip.A day later, and they stored the body in the closet while waiting to get rid of it. We're sandwiched between one of Rider's arms and the ashed remains of the sofa.
>>24820663Fumble for cell phone.If we got teleported, it might still be in our pocket.If we can get a message out we might salvage this mess.
>>24820663Trace the Goddamn box.Get under it.Evacuate.
Rolled 6>>24820663TIME FOR SNEAKING
>>24820663THE BOX, IT IS TIME.THE BOX SHALL SET US FREE. WE HAVE A RIDER TO RESCUE.
>>24820692Best idea i've seen here so far, we practiced stealth for a reason, it's time to use it
>>24820663BOX OUT OF HERE.Holy shit was that 1 actually a godsend?
>>24820663Observe surroundings.Find escape route.Apply techniques from Kerry's book.Return home alive no matter what.
>>24820663>>24820692>>24820707I can't believe the fucking BOX off all things will be what saves our ass.That 20 way back then is the roll that just keeps on giving.
>>24820720Not really as the house is probably freaking the fuck out right now and our group might be tearing itself the fuck apart.
Of all the times to not have a servant for dem command seals. ;_;7
>>24820720>Holy shit was that 1 actually a godsend?In terms of information gathering and mystery-cracking? Yes.In terms of our alliance imploding like fucking Westeros? NO.
>>24820692Y'know what? Yes this is in point of fact a good idea all things considered.
Emergency HELP ME THE FUCK OUT NOW phone call to Archer.Because sheeeeeeit Zouken needs a-ending.
>>24820692Agreed. Time to NOPE box out of here.
>>24820739Once we get out of the jamming range, we text or call rin.
The box, the box!
>>24820663>Actions?Touch our face. Check if it's still a Shirou face or if it's something else.If it is, then go with the sneaking plan.If it's Avenger's face (or someone else) stick around for a bit and eavesdrop. Then escape.
>>24820767No, multi-text to our ENTIRE FUCKING CONTACT LIST."NOT RIDERS FAULT. EVERYONE CALM THE FUCK DOWN.""ALSO, ORIGINAL THEORY CONFIRMED, SHIROU NOT HUMAN. BLAME KIREI."
>>24820720Also there's the potential negative consequences of rider ingesting assassin wormblood.
So, how far back d'you think he switched us?As far back as the first dream-chat?
Man... We really fucked up when we didn't grab the gang and try to help Kirei gangbang Zouken whether he wanted the help or not.>inb4 Zouken is working with Kirei and it's all a Xanatos gambit for the grail
>>24820825THIS.Goddamn, TH-->>24816555>When we get back into the sunlight, my phone buzzes. Six missed calls, all from Rin.>"Did it not ring?">I shrug, and hold it out towards the church. As I do, the bars drop quickly to 'no signal'. "Something about the church. Or it's occupants."TO THE BOX AND USE THE SECRET JOESTAR TECHNIQUE!!
>>24820840I think it must have been when we met Zouken alone to arrange the duel with Archer. Its the ONLY time we've been alone with him, and it was after Rider drank our blood the first time.
>There may be time though. If he's returned in spirit, it'll try to return in body. No matter the cost."This means there is currently an impaled Shirou simulacrum attempting to drag itself back to the church as we speak.We should include this in the update we send out once we escape.>"-seems to have taken the bait. Do you expect her to succeed?">"I expect her to confuse the hell out of everyone and destroy their little alliance. She'll be desperate for the prize I've offered her.If this is a literal offer that was actually made by Zouken, I suspect Sakura is getting used again, seeing as there isn't anyone else in the house who would really be on the list for Zouken to try and get into contact with at the house.If this is just Zouken suggesting that the situation in and of itself has an element that a member of our group would find impossible to avoid being drawn toward, I dunno what the deal is.
>>24820853Actually, scratch that. If we're in the Church, that probably means that this little scheme originated with Kirei and Avenger. Zouken likely discovered it and hijacked it when he took over the Church.
We'll need to figure out who exactly is desperate for the prize they offered once we put out the fires.
>>24820891And there is only one way to assure their honesty.Fuck all of them.
>>24820853That might be it.NO WONDER WE CANT CONTRACT
>>24820877...or actually, the thing trying to draw itself back to the church probably isn't in Shirou-form any longer, and has probably reverted to Worm-form.Harder to find, but less potential danger for us than sending out a mass text basically saying "Hey, there's another Shirou out there that's kill-on-sight. Please don't mistake him for me, though. Please."
>>24820877Caster could be a candidate for suspicion. She's been teleporting all over the place which may give her the opportunity to make contact with Zouken.
>Is the plan seriously 'box'?[DC17 Magecraft]
>>24820907... Oh. Yeah.We would still have a Soul (because apparently Zouken was connecting the doppelganger to us, to let us run that body?), but our body would be something else, it'd be whatever the fuck the simulacrum is made of...
>>24820902Weren't we already trying to do that? NOTHING HAS CHANGED.
Rolled 17>>24820940WE CAN DO THIS
>>24820940I think the first things we'd want to do, would be to avoid attention, and to free ourselves.Not sure if the box would be what we'd resort to.
>>24820961I love you
>>24820940Considering that we are apparently a prisoner or were under some sort of spell/ward, that they know we are awake, and we are alone against them?Yes.
>>24820961BOXING ALL THE WAYEVEN ASSASSIN CANNOT PERCIEVE THE BOX
>>24820961By the skin of our teeth!
Rolled 20>>24820940What? Its worked in the past, and its a form of stealth we're rather accustomed to given the extensive field testing we performed, what with infiltrating out own filled-with-Servants-and-Magi house.
Rolled 16>>24820940We must return to rider and bike-chan
>>24820961THE BOX PROTECTSALL HAIL THE BOX
>>24820961Yes we fucking can
>>24820983I wish I hadn't rolled.
>>24820961Ha!>>24820983AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHTHIS IS A SNEAKING MISSION
>>24820931This is actually kind of reasonable as well, not just for the fact that she gets around and thus could've run into Zouken, but that she's waaay more Grail-focused than any of the other people in our group.>>24820961Huh, so we can.>>24820963>want to avoid attention>not sure if you want to use the omnipotent power to delude yourself into being an avatar of stealth.Box seems like the best Plan A, honestly.Aside from just crawling out a window or something laaaaaame like that.
On an unrelated note"Dammit Rider, *I* am supposed to nail *YOU*, not the other way around! You're terrible at this!"
>>24820951>>24820961>>24820965A sigh of relief from the peanut gallery...And that 14 means we can't get screwed by a natural 1, either. .... Though it also means we don't get the natural 20 rolled right after. Eh, oh well...Hey AC-Guy. Normally, a natural 1 "takes priority unless you cancel it out with a 20." But that makes it ridiculously unlikely to happen -- I mean, if you roll a 1, you're very very likely to be screwed.What about having the Natural 1 "cancel out" the highest roll instead?So if you roll 1, 12, 19, then effectively the 12 is used because the 1 and 19 are wiped away.How does that sound? Good? Bad? Too forgiving? An unnecessary change when we're already so far into the series of threads?
>>24821033Oh fuck. If we get her back in one piece we're going to give her endless shit over this in the form of terrible puns."Rider, I don't know how it worked in ancient Greece, but these days most men don't like getting nailed."
>>24821039It has.I cancelled a crit with a nat 1 once...
>>24821033>"Dammit Rider, *I* am supposed to nail *YOU*, not the other way around! You're terrible at this!"Need to say this when we get back.Blame it on mental stress form Zoukenfuckery.
>>24821033We definitely need to say this to her once everyone is done screaming at each other.
>>24820877He's talking about Rider and he'll offer Rider the grail (Hint it's a lie).
>>24821039As bad as it would be for us, I like the crit fails and how much we panic when they occur. It makes the entire thread so much more entertaining!
>>24821061And then we take it out on AC-Guy by giving him anxiety attacks.Or making him vomit form choking on water.
>>24821049>>24821033>>24821054Now thats some Rance-level thinking right there. I approve.>Girlfriend impale you in a fit of rage?>No big deal, one pun and some hot makeup sex will make everything ok
>>24821093Just remember, every time we roll a 1, AC-Guy shows off his G-ranked luck!
You know, I'd we were a simulacrum once, who's to say that this body is not also one?For all we know, we are not the original shirous consciousness, we are a fake that thinks it is a nd is passing between simulacra. Or perhaps, the originals consciousness was forced into a simulacra and we are the real shirou, just in the wrong body. If it's the former, existential crisis time and drama from the others. If it's the latter, rider sort of killed the real us but we got better. Plus all our interactions were not lies.
>>24821122Let's just get all our magical allies to analyse our body. If they know that they're looking for evidence of simulcra, they should be able to pinpoint it between them.
>>24821102I mean, in retrospect I feel like we're probably REALLY glad that she 'killed' us, especially after we tried as hard as possible to guilt her into not stabbing us via FEELINGS.Rider deserves some serious thanks when we get back.
>>24821122If thats true, we ROW ROW FIGHT THE POWAH and murderize everyone responsible, then murderize all the remaining simulacra until we are the only Shirou remaining. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
>>24821059I think its more likely that its either Sakura or Caster.Sakura might be being blackmailed and threatened with how Zouken has the real Shirou.Caster might be tempted with a real body of some sort, to let her stay past the war. Not sure on this one though, as canonically I think she only needed tons of prana to pull that off so...Hrm, I suppose it could also be Bazett? He might have captured Kirei and be offering his return...Those are about all the easy possibilities I can think of.
>>24821102Bro, don't ruin the Rance Mance with the blingy shit, you gotta go stylish or not at all
>>24821154>>24821102>Blingee shit>40kPigdisgusting, the both of you.
>>24821146>Sakura might be being blackmailed and threatened with how Zouken has the real Shirou.If I had to place a bet under pain of wormrape, I think it'd be on this. It seems just cruel enough that it'd explain the laughter over how devious a plot it is, and would be perfectly in character for Zouken to do regardless.Though with how some of this plot has been going, I'd probably have purple hair in no time if I actually made that bet.
Rolled 20>>24821039Then a nat 20 would just cancel the lowest roll. Which is boring.
I notice a small indenture in the wall. I step backwards into it, and simply set the wall as if it was undamaged."Well, Shirou. I don't know how you managed to break that sleeping spell, bu- What." Zouken pauses mid rant as he stares at the seemingly empty room. a handful of worms scurry this way and that, as he spins back to Assassin. "He isn't here!"".... That's impossible.""Well this wouldn't be the first time the little shit did something that's supposed to be impossible.""No human could have possibly slipped by my wards.""IDIOT! We both know what he is, and it's not Human. Not completely.""And we didn't account for this in the preparations?""He's a walking paradoxical monstrosity trained by one of the most effective mage-hunters of the last century. the fact that we captured him at all is somewhat amazing.""I think you might over estimate what he's capable of.""And yet he's escaped the dungeons. Probably the building as well." Zouken snorts. "Go, quickly. If he's nearby, you might still catch him. I'll start scrying his location with that blood sample you collected." Assassin nods, and zouken departs the room with an odd sucking sound.As soon as they depart, I make a break for the nearest exit: up the stairs, past the kitchen, and out into the trees.[DC15 Evasion]
Rolled 4>>24821179Snake, evade those patrols!
>>24821178I fucking hate you right now, why can't you wait just a few more seconds for>>24821179
Rolled 8>>24821178>>24821182>>24821179XOM Be PRAISED!
Rolled 12>>24821179I am the bone of my dodge
Rolled 1>>24821179DICE, DON'T FAIL US NOW!
Rolled 18>>24821179>>24821178YOU FOOL
Rolled 1>>24821178 Can we just use this?
Rolled 19>>24821201Asking the fickle dice gods who's true motivation is maximum enjoyment
Rolled 20>>24821201STOP ROLLING>>24821207YOU TOO>>24821204AAARGH
>>24821201I-I'll be back latter, committing sudoku.>>24821207Do you want to come with me?
>>24821178>>24821179I... I don't suppose that could count... could it AC-Guy-sama?I mean, it was within 60 seconds of your post.
>>24821213>>24821210OH FUCK THESE DICE
>>24821213Oh the irony.It's THIS BIKE all over again!
>>24821176Actually, I think it's Sakura. Remember how we said 'wurms eats the womb'? If that's true, which I'm pretty sure it is, Zouken probably had a plan for letting her have kids to continue the Matou line like harvesting some eggs and putting them on ice.That's probably what he's blackmailing her with: her own fucking children.
>>24821215I will gladly do the honours for you both right now
>>24821179>>24821178Please dear god ac-guy use that 20 it hit literally the second before your post.
>>24821250Pretty sure it's been negated by several rolls of 1 by this point
>>24821179>"Go, quickly. If he's nearby, you might still catch him. I'll start scrying his location with that blood sample you collected."... Wait...... Bets that the scrying will show up as "taking a hike in THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS?!" guys?Because if that happened, that would be hilarious foresight on Avenger's part... Though he might have been doing that to confound our own ally's attempts to track Shirou down rather than Zouken's.
Any bets that we made something horrible happen to AC-Guy again?
Rolled 12Another fine example of 5% in action.
>>24821255The 1s and 20s cancelling each other out only apply if they were all in the first three rolls.
>>24821255Count is:Two 20s, Two 1sBoth outside the usual pick range.Inside the usual range is no passes, but only barely.There is also an 18 and 19 in close proximity.'s a wash as far as I give a fuck.
>>24821255Only first 3 rolls count though, if he's nice enough to let the roll that occured literally at the same time as his post, none of the 1s would hit.
>>24821257And then Avenger sets his phasers to maximum HUEHUEHUE.
>>24821273It's only the first 3 rolls. In other news, Our 3 rolls were 4,8,12. In order. Based RNG.
>>24821276>>24821283Still a fail.GONDOR CALLS FOR AID
>>24821283Yes, I said that."Inside the usual range is no passes"
You said you'd protect me box...YOU LIED
>>24821179Sooo fate/hp reroll anyone?
So, do you think any of our allies would get the message if we blew the entire church into the stratosphere?I mean presumably our Not-Body dissolved into Zouken worms or something... and then moments later the Church is engulfed a cataclysmic explosion... SOMEONE would put 2 and 2 together right?
>>24821288>Pomf =3>What are we gonna do in this cellar Ojii-san?Wait, does this mean we wormslut now?
>>24821297Well, it did get us out of the cell. Not its fault we dismissed it.
>>24821300BROKEN PHANTASMS SPILLING OUT OF OUR POCKETS
>>24821300AN ANCIENT SHIROU HAS AWAKENED
I run up the stairs, and see a very startled Assassin looking back at me. He recovers first, launching a trio of daggers I barely dodge as I slide through a doorframe. He yells for Zouken as I step into the main chapel with him on my heels.I get the feeling I might only get one chance to escape.[DC15 combat]
Rolled 19>>24821318It's on.
Rolled 3>>24821318THank you, BAsed AC-Guy.Rolling.
Rolled 14>>24821325>>24821326>>24821328NO ONES.WE'RE GOOD HERE
>>24821179>>24821178That just isn't fair
>>24821325>>24821326>>24821328YES!YES!YES!Kicking his ass with a 19, and the 13 and 3 means we don't get screwed with a natural 1! Fuck yeah!
Rolled 15>>24821318'bout time for some hot man on man action.
Rolled 9>>24821318Nine Lives Blade Works!
Rolled 17>>24821318BREAK THROUGH
>>24821318Fucking wormnigger. Were gunna fucking kill you wormnigger, and the ugly little servant you rode in on too.Time for irrational hate speech
Rolled 15>>24821325It's TIME
>>24821325NONE MAY STAND BETWEEN US AND RIDERWE'RE COMING RIDER!We don't realize we're naked until we burst into the room where the Harem are fighting.>Iquartsf rejoicingYes captcha, yes.
>>24821382>We don't realize we're naked until we burst into the room where the Harem are fighting.I would not be one fucking bit surprised.And I would love every moment of it.
>>24821325>>24821326>>24821328Follow it up with a Broken Phantasm Caladbolg II to the Church as we escape.LIKE I SUGGESTED AT THE START OF THE THREAD!
>>24821325You still don't get it Assassin?Your class is shit. We're a naked homunculus-thing who just woke up from a coma, and we can still slap your shit.
So. Were we regeterating so rapidly because we were a simulacra?
Rolled 1>>24821404I dunno...Was the OH GOD IM ON FIRE before or after we got contacted by Assassin and wormfucker?
>>24821404But we hyper-regenn'd from the beginning, didn't we?>>24821425STOP ROLLING
Rolled 16>>24821442Isn't it better to get the Nat 1s out of the way?
>>24821425After, I think.But we were healing from shit long before that. Hell, we used an exploding car as a rocket-jump to kick Berserker in the face in what, the third thread or something like that? Now, it may have been Avalon at first, then horrible Simulacra invulnerability later and we just didn't notice the difference, but we were definitely healing from the get-go.
>>24821442It got ridiculous at some piont, like regenerating a broken spine in a matter of minutes.
Rolled 5>>24821451No, it is not. NAT 1s are bad juju anywhere in the thread.
>>24821452Wait, so Avalon was with Shirou's original body?No wonder we couldn't find it. We were searching in the wrong place.Now we can return it to Saber.
Rolled 13>>24821451>>24821466The dice have spoken. Let it be so.
>>24821449Are his fingers shoved through the grip?
>>24821456The thing is, early on we never received any crippling injuries. We were probably a Simulacra by the time THAT BIKE came up, but we don't have any injuries of sufficient magnitude before that point to compare to. Everything before THAT BIKE was within the scope of Avalon healing.
>>24821486>>24821473>>24821456>>24821452Quick, someone archive-dive!
When was the first time we we're unconscious for a long time?I think it may have been when we found our Origin. That may have been the part where this started.
>>24821473Well SOMETHING was healing us right from the beginning, so unless we were a simulacra from the very start then our original body probably has Avalon.
I take to the doorway at a dead run, and I hear angry yelling behind me. I throw myself into the air and let loose a cloud of projected daggers behind me as I smash through a window and into the fresh air.The angry yelling continues behind me as I run outside and dial my house phone number as I run down the hill.Ilya answers the phone after a few rings. "... Hello? Emiya residence.""Ilya, it's Shirou."There's a shocked Silence. "What? but you- you were-""Let me guess, you just watched Rider attack me in the Dojo?"".... You need to get home. She's panicking pretty badly. I told Rin that something happened, and the three of them are on their way here right now.""... Lovely. Well, I just left the church, and I'm going to be there as soon as possible. PLEASE trying keep things from exploding out of control until I return. I will explain when I get there."".... Alright." She's calmed considerably, suddenly resolute. "Just hurry. I'm not sure I want to explain this when Sakura walks in the door."I hang up the phone, and focus on running.[DC15 gotta go fast]
Oh god, that doorway that connected to ourselves finally makes sense!
>>24821486Ramping off an exploding car to Dropkick a berserker servant Probably qualifies as "crippling injury".
Rolled 12>>24821512I AM THE WIND
Rolled 17>>24821512Make it so Cheibriados
Rolled 18>>24821529>>24821530>>24821531OH FUCK.
Well, could it be that time Assassin showed up in our house to arrange a talk with Zouken via that weird puppet body thing?
Rolled 8>>24821529>>24821531t-t-thanks bad comedy guys
Rolled 14>>24821535>>24821532CUNTFUCKING NIGGERTITS
>>24821531>>24821530>>24821529Welp, time for a run & gun dagger fight with Assassin. This should be a blast.
Rolled 18>>24821512Luck be a lady
>>24821529>>24821530>>24821531Calling it now, there's not going to be a house left when we get back
>>24821530GODDAMMIT NUBUM STOP ROLLING! YOU MADE US MISS THE FUCKING 17 YOU ASSHOLE!
Rolled 7>>24821529>>24821530>>24821531"On second thought, could you send them my way instead? I think I'm going to be stuffed in a jar for GRAIL SCIENCE!"
>>24821512Wait, why aren't we also calling Rin ASAP while we're at it?Call Rin while we run, too.
Rolled 13Why are we running?We should be tactically boxing!He can't chase what he can't find!
>>24821554The house is secondary.If all we lose is a house out of this, I'll be perfectly content. We can always fort up at Rin's place.>heeeelp himselfYes captcha, Shirou should help himself, because no one else is coming.Is it just me, or has captcha been surprisingly helpful today?
>>24821562This is a pretty excellent idea.The best way to keep Ilya from having to do damage control when Rin and Sakura get back is by calling to tell them that we'll explain everything once everyone gets there, and that it's complicated.
>>24821571Because its not being caught that is the main problem. Its not making it in time and coming home to a corpse-filled crater.
>>24821562This. There's no reason running fast is the only way to stop this from getting worse.
Rolled 12>>24821581"Rin. Shit is going to be fuckignweird when you get home. I'm not there, i'm on my way. DO NOT let anyone freak the fuck out until I get there. Please.Emiya out."
>>24821562Thats pretty much the BEST idea.If Rin is clued in she can prevent most of the HORRIBLE SHIT that might happen.
If Shirou is, in fact, naked, and he walks in on Rin, Sakura and Saber flipping out over his corpse, things are going to be *really* surreal.
>>24821562She's with Sakura and Saber too, if I'm not mistaken. Seconding this idea.
Rolled 19>>24821630The phone came from his ass, then.
>>24821560I-I just wanted to help, and reclaim my title as sexy shoeless god of rolling. My luck has to change eventually!But more seriously, yeah I'll stop. I really don't want to fuck this up anymore that I have accidentally done so, and my rolls aren't getting better.
Rolled 7>>24821634PROJECTIONS, SON
>>24821630>Shirou... why are you...>NO TIME, WHICH WAY DID RIDER GO>Shirou its still daylight, at least put on>NO TIME!
>>24821634Well, he *did* take Kerry's manual of Batman-preparedness to heart...
>>24821571Because trying to fight means time for Zouken to catch up. Not to mention we have <1% chance if Zouken just has assassin NP us into the grave>>24821638I would have beat you guys if I didn't stop to find slowbro
>>24821649WAIT A MINUTE.Archer saw Fragarach, like, fucking AGES AGO when Berserker was mimicing Lancer. So it should have been in UBW when he showed it to us!Was it in UBW when he showed it to us? IS FRAGGLEROCK IN THERE?
>>24821666You're absolutely right. He positively ID'd Fraggle. Meaning it was in has UBW. Which he showed us.Fucking try it Assassin.
>>24821666>>24821676Why have we not been doing the Fraggle Wombo-Combo this entire fucking time? I can't believe NOBODY remembered that until just now.We should all be ashamed.
>>24821676Didn't we learn jack shit from the UBW though since we aren't the real shirou?
>>24821708But we did. And we've been observing GOB over multiple activations as well.
>>24821666We saw it in GoB if we haven't already in UBW.I can't find the part for the life of me but I know we saw it and Shirou mentally went over fragarach when he was going through the other weapons he copied from Gil.
>>24821666>>24821676But we have no experience using FRAGGLEROCK. Isn't there a warmup when identifying and projecting it where we'd die multiple times before it's ready to wombo combo>>24821701Because servants still largely outclass us and thusly don't need to pull out the big guns. Which are the only eligible thing for Fragarach
>>24821708Well, we projected Gram at one point so I dunno why it shouldn't work.
>>24821718There is no warmup. It's a causality-raping CROSSU COUNTER.
>>24821701Well, Fragarach isn't an "instant death" thing -- its a "counter the opponent's TRUMP CARD."So if they don't use their best/strongest thing against you, it's "just" going to be a D-rank Noble Phantasm.
>>24821718We've proved fairly adept at slapping Assassin's shit in direct combat so far.
>>24821729Except against stuff like the GAY BULGE. Which has already pierced Shirou's vital regions.
>>24821740Thats part of the "wombo-combo". You use a Servant to bait them into busting out the NP, then you jump Fraggle on them.Or in this case, if it comes down to it we just slap Assassin's shit.
>>24821741We dodged some thrown daggers. With a DC 15 check. Hassan can go all night and we wont pass checks all evening.
>>24821717Found it!>I walk out to the dojo and close my eyes. I flicker through the mental images of various weapons.>A sword that ignores armor.>A spear that acts as an anchor when it stabs someone.>A kingly sword with an ornate hilt, drawn from a tree.>A pair of axes, sharp enough to cleave stone like it was paper.>The list continues, flickering through a long inventory of items I saw emerge from Gilgamesh's armory. I know that I could easily project any of them, if my body wouldn't be destroyed by the effort.Okay, so I'm no longer sure we saw Fragarach, people were just speculating the first one was Fragarach. That Anchoring spear sounds useful right about now though...
I reach the bridge slightly out of breath, and then reach for my phone knowing I won't make it in time.Rin answers immediately. "Shirou? What the hell happened? Ilya called me crying and said something happened that she was going to try and stop Rider from doing..... something....""Alright, a lot of crazy stuff happened in the last ten minutes. I promise I will explain everything when I get there. I need you to not go in the house until I arrive though."".... What? why? Wait, why aren't you at the house?""Because I was at the church.""... What?""I'm not going to try and explain this over the phone. I'll be there in a few minutes."I arrive at the house not long after, and I see Saber, Rin and Sakura waiting outside.>Actions?
So ya in all likely hood weave been a puppet since our first dream meeting with the living worm, when merlin said our body was in the forest he was probably seeing where fishbait and assassin were camping out
>>24821820HUG THEM ALL ONCE."GOTTA DO STUFF, JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE. I'LL BE RIGHT OUT."Then go inside.
>>24821820I'm hungry, who wants food?
Rolled 15>>24821820Barge inside, save Rider from Ilya's wrath.
>>24821832Don't let them get in YET.We get rider and Ilya settled, then we introduce those outside to the problem. So yes. >>24821832
>>24821838This.Employ tactical hug on Rider.Apologize for making her do what she did, and thank her profusely for doing it despite how it must've hurt her to do so.
>>24821832Seconding this. We gotta go save Ridah
>>24821820"Saber, with me. Rin, Sakura, wait in the entry way until I give the all clear.""Sakura, Rider is a bit freaked out right now. If you hear a fight starting, DO NOT HESITATE to use a Command Seal to calm her down.""Rin, you're on lookout. I may have been followed. If it looks like we're under attack, call Saber to you immediately"."Saber, we need to calm Rider down. She might lash out at us, but try not to inflict permanent damage."
>>24821820"Cliffnotes version: Zouken at some unspecified time switched my body with a simulacrum to gather information, but my mind was still in it somehow, I have no fucking idea. Rider was having a snack when she noticed it wasn't my body, and killed it. My regular body, that you see here, woke up in the church basement and overheard Assassin and Zouken saying basically what I just said. I then got the hell out of dodge."Is shirou wearing pants?
>>24821859Good plan. I like it.Supportin'.
>>24821859>"Rin, you're on lookout. I may have been followed. If it looks like we're under attack, call Saber to you immediately".Add to this the fact that if anything suspicious tries to get OUT, she is to stop it at all costs, as it's likely to be the remaining bits of the simulacrum attempting to make its way back to its master.
>>24821859>>24821865Either way, after this, we are all going to go to the Church and MURDERISE WORMNIGGER AND SKULL-GIMP.And woe betide them, for our girls are going to be incandescent.
>>24821820"So y'know that one on one meeting I had arranged with zouken? I'm pretty sure he body-snatched me there and created a simulacrum that he linked my consciousness to... Rider killed the fake when she found that the blood tasted wrong - and no I'm not going to explain that. Zouken has also been blackmailing one of us - I suspect it's you Sakura and I forgive you, if it's not you it may be caster. Oh and assassin may be around."As for actions, pull out that bow, max power a hrunting straight at the fucking church. Or go figure out rider (with saber escorting so rider doesn't try to kill us again).
>>24821859Can Rin notice if ASSASSIN is sneaking up on her??Also -- Sakura herself might be a bit freaked out, and might not judge things about Command Seal usage well.Plus, this doesn't explain things very well -- or at all, really.
>>24821885>I suspect it's you Sakura and I forgive you, if it's not you it may be casterLet's not say who. It'll just breed distrust.
>>24821879Remember, he may have his claws in one of them. We need to root out possible infiltrators and convert them to our side with a good old fashioned lawful-hot dicking before we deal with that.If Sakura is compromised, she could use a Command Seal to flip Rider on us mid-fight, and then everything goes to fucking hell.
>>24821895No time to explain. Ultra-pissed-off Servant is more urgent than an explanation, which would by necessity be long-winded because of how fucking convoluted this whole thing is.
>"If it doesn't arrive alive it will cost me a little of myself. Then again, what it would cost most if our information.">"We can try and take the information out of him forcibly." Zouken responds.WAITWAS THE SHIROU THAT DIED IN THE DOJO ONE OF ASSASIN'S BODIES?
>>24821879>Wormnigger and Skull-GimpCan we please, *please* call them that when we go to kill them? that's hilarious.
>>24821912Yes.The kid gloves have come off.
WHATEVER WE DO WE NEED TO TELL RIDER SHE WAS RIGHT.
>>24821918And she'll know it once she chews on Shirou's neck.
>>24821910If the orders without an explanation make them trigger-happy, you'd regret that.
>>24821895SOMEONE has to be on lookout, and we need Saber in case Rider goes berserk.
>>24821933No. Saber should be protecting the two sisters.A shirou hug will calm rider down.
Gaaah there's no right way to do this as assassin chased us here, and taking saber with us to go talk to rider leaves all our fights in one room and all the magi vulnerable to the dickstabbing assassin... We need to bring everyone in.That first gaaaah got autocorrected to hassan
>>24821932Hence why all the orders are variations on "don't jump the gun", "follow my lead", and "everyone calm the fuck down".
>>24821933I'm wondering whether Rin might miss Assassin because he is, well, a Servant.And sticking together as a group might be a good idea.
Just have Rider sample Shirou's blood again. That’s how she found the fake, it's how we can best prove we're not a fake. Bite ye lip, ye bastard, and kiss the girl.
>Alright guys, I'm falling asleep at the keyboard over here, so I'll pick this up next thread. Please take whatever's left here to come up with a coherent plan.
>>24821951>Bite ye lip, ye bastard, and kiss the girl.YOU ARE A GENIUS
>>24821931Hopefully. If it turns out we are in yet another fake body then this will result in a hilarious response from rider.
>>24821954>Just when the climatic reunion is upon us
Ok, revised plan.1. Saber stays with the Girls. Tell them assassin may be on the way.2. We bust in to the dojo.3. Figure out a way to make Rider hesitate4. Initiate identity verification, via blood-infused kiss
>>24821954>coherentHeh.>planNOW THAT, WE CAN DO.Suggest we stake our doppleganger body to the wall with at least 4 different Noble Phantasms.
>>24821912They made our girls cry. We are going to end them so hard, Gaia will feel it.
>>24821974I can get behind this.The way to make rider hesitate?WALK INTO THE DOJO NEKKID
>>24821954AC-Guy NO! We have most of a plan and if you wait there'll be a bunch of shitposters that didn't even read the last thread to fuck it up. This is a mission critical moment.
>>24821980It... it makes sense.I hate it. With every fiber of my being I hate it.But it makes SO MUCH GODDAMN SENSE.
>>24821976Nah. Just use Gram to immolate it. Then dump the ashes into the god damn river. Perhaps close to nasty juju canal.
>>24821974This is the plan. +nakedness because it makes so much goddamn sense.
>>24821974I, uh, don't think trying to kiss her (after she just flipped out on a fake) will work.Just simply do a straightforward test like she did before. While we explain how we know what just went down in our house despite it being a simulacrum.
At some point we have to explain to Rin and Illya about that door that led to ourselves was that we were a fake body that Zouken made--OH! OH OH OH!Remember when Illya was examining us and said it was like someone tried to reinvent the mage? Fake body and Zouken. Why we can't form a contract with Saber? Fake body couldn't and Zouken.Am I worng? Probably, AC-Guy isn't the only one falling asleep at his keyboard.>>24821974....Good enough for me.
>>24821954ETA on next thread?
>>24821974Alright, looks like we're all green on Operation Fate/Rance.And we can just blame it on being in a Zouken-induced coma for who knows how long.Dis gun b gud.
>>24821980Walk in naked and blood kiss?This will go badly in so many different ways that it's incomprehensible.It's perfect.
>>24822030>>24821980This assumes we're not already naked.AC-Guy hasn't clarified that point yet.
>>24822029We are doing this pose right?>>24821166
>>24822030If it gets to that point, we then Princess-carry her to our bed. Damn what anyone else thinks, this glorious woman just saved us from the clutches of the Wormnigger.
>>24822010The "sword" she was sensing inside us, might have been our "soul" or "sense of self/consciousness" that was attached to the puppet body.i.e. It was our consciousness.Also -- no, no, no, and FUCK NO on the STUPID "walk in naked" thing!What the hell are you guys thinking??And its not like Rider would be the only one to be distracted by this. And we'd also have to waste time and just -- NO. Goddamit, no.Please don't do stupid shit "for the lulz", especially when it would screw us over.
>>24822048Rider is best waifu.
>>24821954Thanks for the Thread!>>24822051I'm seconding the "walk in naked" veto. I'm half asleep and even I can tell that's full retard.
>>24822051The point is come in so far from the left field she just freezes.Like kissing Rin to shut her up after we rescued her from archer.
>>24822096It's also the fastest thing to halt her instead of trying to reason with her to try the test.
>>24822051See. Nignogs like you are why AC-Guy needs to do one more post. We're going in fucking naked because Rider is going to be having a fucking paranoia meltdown. You think another Shirou walking and going "Yeah toots, Ahm totes legit. No really. Here's this compelling reason you should let me in so I can succeed where Spah #1 failed." We need here to freeze up so we can throw blood check out before we get a nail through the shoulder.
>>24822044Yes.>>24822051Shock tactics. I'd bet a million dollars that rationality has taken the back seat in Rider's mind right now. She just found out that the guy she was falling in love with, who promised her a happy future despite her cosmic levels of baggage, was an evil wormnigger simulacra, which she then proceeded to brutally murder.Rational discussion probably won't work. Especially considering if we try to talk, all she'll hear is the voice of the Shirou she THOUGHT was fake (well, it was, but we were in the pilot seat, but she doesn't know that).
Oh, and Ebook updated: http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb
>>24822101>>24822107No its not, its just stupid out-of-character shit that sounds like a juvenile idea.I don't think you guys are backing this because it's a good idea. I think you're just backing it because it sounds funny to you, without caring that its out of place and bound to possibly maybe screw over relationships as well.
>>24822101No, it's stupid.
>>24822132Well, go ahead and think that I guess. But talking failed miserably the first time, and she's going to be about 10x more unhinged now than she was then.
>>24822105You know, a different/better idea, might be to come in and trace that Cardboard Box right in front of her.It shows that we have our Tracing magic, and it shows knowledge of Shirou. It's also a bit zany, if that's what you care for.
>>24822132F/A shirou has been unorthodox in the methods he uses. The Box stands out among other things as the most recent. That'll he'll use something like this to get her to freeze and stop from killing herself? In character, actually.
>>24822132The juvenile and silly ideas were adding fuel to the fire by EXPLAIN FURTHER SHIROU when Rider was choking him.
>>24822161Trace a cardboard Shirou.
>>24822152Pretty sure even Shirou showing up at ALL this soon after she was forced to kill the doppelshirou is going to freeze her up right quick.So long as we can close the gap before she snaps back into high alert mode, we're fine regardless.We had doppelshirou be all sorts of "quirky" to prove that it was the "Real" Shirou anyway, so walking in naked is just going to get lumped in with all of that.>>24822161Doing things to "prove" that we're Shirou other than having her just do the blood test again won't work, as we've proven perfectly capable of Tracing things while replaced by a simulacrum.
We could always try the Harry Dresden I AM A WIZARD NOW CALM DOWN BEFORE I BLOW THIS CITY BLOCK TO THE FUCKING MOON tactic.
>>24822152Yeah, and last time she ALSO had gotten evidence/proof that we were a fake. Whereas this time she doesn't have that proof just yet.And her first reaction when she found out, was to grapple us and threaten us -- and only THEN to stab us.So she might do the same again -- incapacitate instead of kill, and then test and then she'll see that its the real us, see.Another thing we could do, if you want to go with "shock tactics", is to announce that we are eloping with Rider and the bike right then and there. Or announce that we are forsaking all our waifus in order to elope with just the bike.See? Note how there are various "zany" ideas for shock tactics if you try to think of them, beyond just the damaging one that is "lul go naked".
>>24822215Could we drain a bottle of our blood then roll it into the room?
1. Approach door while tracing knife2. Cut palm wide open, kick down door.3. March up to Rider with our bleeding hand, maintaining eye contact every step of the way.4. No words. Only trust now.
>>24822215>Implying announcing elopement with Rider, in front of our entire girlpile, is going to be *less* damaging than just walking in naked.
So yeah. Just going to summarize the main priorities as I see them.1) Get Rider calm enough that she will check our blood again to confirm that we are back to Shirou: Sword Flavor.2) Make it abundantly clear that she pretty much saved our ass, and that we are inordinately thankful that she had the conviction to actually go through with murdering doppelshirou after what we said to her.
>>24822205Yeah, but she doesn't know WHEN the snatching thing happened.She might assume it happened very, very recently.Like maybe just today, when we went to talk to Zouken at the Church.It seems like a bit of a logical conclusion, if you assume that Zouken had a way to fool Saber. And I don't think we'd done any tracing since between the Church meeting and when we came back.I mean, she'd be wrong about the timing -- but I think its likely/possible that she would think about sometime early, if in the shock of the moment.
>>24822239There we go. Thats a good mix of HOLY SHIT and something actually productive.
>>24822205Know those stories of folks panicking and crying when they see the person they think they killed?Yea...Showing up normally might actually just agitate her to try to kill herself even harder.
>>24822239Yeah, see, this is another good idea.Start bleeding immediately, so that she will quickly be able to sense that its us.>>24822243Then we announce our elopement with the Bike itself, rather than Rider, whatever.
>>24822250The issue with trying to keep showing her that we are the Real Shirou (tm) in all of these other ways is that both we and Rider already know a way to distinguish between real Shirou and a fake Shirou.Trying to make her take any other metrics as "proof" of our genuine Shirou status is just going to make her more skeptical that we are doing so because we are incapable of passing the Shirou litmus test both we and her already know is accurate, and we are attempting to distract her from that for as long as possible.
>>24822132>Form a snark bro-ship with shirou>Learn that he's got some serious soul issues>Talk him into fixing the bike for you. Well actually it's not completely fixed YET but you can certainly use it>He tries to break through your shell in an effort to convince you that yes, you can have a happy ending>Morning visitation with a short makeout session despite conflicted feelings>He floats an idea to you to try and sneak the concept of sharing into one of Sakura's dreams to see how it goes. It's really sweet how he's thinking of a way for the three of us to get a happy ending!>Learn that he's not only set himself on fire but also got his back wrecked by saber.>Be aware of his long history of getting banged up>Already snacked on him once and yet again he's selflessly risking himself to help me>Wait.... This doesn't taste right.>It's a fake!>Oh god. I may have killed Shirou>But I had to be sure>It was for our safety.>Right?>I mean I had to do it. >What if he was a spy? Or Assassin.>I-I mean we could have been killed as we slept>I Had to do it! I had no choice!>Oh god he's really dead.>Shirou>Wake up shirou>Please ;_;"Hey Rider! Turns out that one you just killed, yes I was totally there surreal I know, wasn't me! It was some kind of clone. Nope I'm not a second, better made fake with even less irregularities and a sharper memory than the failure of a double like that one. Yep. Totally legit. Watch as I project and juggle these balls! I even got the blood's taste right this time Rider! Aren't you proud?" And then we die for real this time when the severely emotionally damaged woman wrecks our shit. We need to go in naked and but our snark and harem plans or we're done.>>24822161Pretty sure we've traced something at some point in our shenanigans.
>>24822280Oh and I missed>The guy I was totally getting close to and gave me hope of a happy ending is some kind of unknown fake ;_;
>>24822279Okay, er, and this real way is what..? Just the blood, right? Or you thinking of something else?>>24822280Yeah, but see>>24822250which means that while she's seen us tracing, she doesn't know WHEN we might have been replaced exactly -- and she might assume that it was very recently, like when we went to the Church just now.
>>24822239For what it's worth, I like this way of going about it a lot more than the arbitrary nudity path, except for the fact that I'd switch the order of "kick down door" and "cut palm wide open", since letting her see us cutting our hand will amplify the shock factor slightly versus just walking in already bleeding.
>>24822239This is probably the best we're going to get. Its fast enough not to give her time to ramp up the paranoia, provides the best proof we can offer, is 100% serious business, and doesn't rely on talking her down which is probably what she would expect a fake to try to do, since the last fake tried it.
>>24822315Yeah, it's the blood thing.
>>24822320Thats a good point.
>>24822315I may have recalled incorrectly but short of some kind of hypnosis with 0 signs there's the incredibly likely chance of when our spirit was popped into a simac when we had a night visitation from hassan and he went home sexually frustrated.
Oh boy, Merlin is going to fucking LOVE THIS."You were right Merlin. I wasn't in my house during our dream talks, good call.""I WAS IN THE DAMN CHURCH, IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE FOREST."
>>24822336In the context of my early(ish) post that brought up "alternate ideas",>>24822161... it was all only to give alternatives to the "shock tactic" of the go-in-naked thing.So basically I was saying "Look, if you want 'so-crazy/stupid-it'd-work' type stuff, we could trace a cardboard box, or announce or everlasting love for That Bike -- stripping (which would also take time and be awkward and weird) isn't the only goddam option here, dammit."
>>24822352...oh god, I just realized.This means that when we fought Archer and he called off the blood feud after looking inside us and seeing that we were not the same person...We were a simulacrum.If he was making his assessment based on our physical body as opposed to our soul, we might very well have to fight Archer to the death after all....and do we still have the Crest he gave to us? We were told that it stuck because we were "a more malleable clay than most", or something along those lines. Did that mean spiritually, or in our physical form? Because if the latter, well, we've got some bad news.
>>24822331>And then you remember that the only one that would know about the difference in blood and therefore would try to initiate a blood test would be the faker. >Paranoia town. Population: Ilya & RiderWalking in naked is still the best.
>>24822383Oh, shit, yeah...Still, if it was physical, then the simulacrum should still be right here right so we could salvage the Crest from it?
>>24822401But if this really is us, then we wouldn't be able to recieve the crest, according to Archer, right?
>>24822401Hopefully.Hell, it might even fit better on this body, since the real thing would logically be more compatible than the imperfect copy.
>>24822419My guess is that being a simulacra is what threw him off our scent in the first place. We're probably the "same" person just like her originally thought. If thats true, it means 2 things:1. We can salvage the Crest2. The Blood Feud is back on, as soon as he learns of this
>>24822422>>24822419>>24822401Ok, so now that I'm thinking about it a little more in-depth, a Magic Crest is just a set of specialized transplanted Magic Circuits, and Magic Circuits are part of an entity's soul, not its body or mind.Which means I think we're safe on the inherited Crest front.
>>24822444Which admittedly puts us back to square one on the 'WTF am I' front
>>24822436>herHe. I meant to say he. Archer is a He.unless he isn't
>>24822436Eh, but even then, we had noted that "my magic is totally different."Also, there was the weird thing with the box which I think might not be something normal Shirou can do... Plus the general different-ness....But yeah, it could very well be that the "blood feud" thing was only put off because we were a simulacrum at the time.
>>24822436Bampuing>Killed Shirou after blood test determined it's a fake>Another Shirou shows up trying to get me to do a blood test>But how would it know about blood testing!?>Convenient explanation>And then there were two Shirou corpsesWat do TeeGee?
>>24822450Well, according to Zouken:>and it's not Human. Not completely.>He's a walking paradoxical monstrositySo we've got confirmation that we're only semi-human. Now, this MIGHT be a reference to the fact that our Element and Origin are SWORD, and we've got a Noble Phantasm (Avalon) as well as a naturally occurring Reality Marble inside of us. Or it might mean we're back to the Demon theory.
>>24822465Remember, this all happened FAST. Like unless EVERYONE just sat around picking their noses for a few minutes we basically died, immediately woke up, and sprinted our asses back here.There is no way they could have prepared another Simulacra, much less one that now perfectly mimics Shirou's natural blood taste (considering how wrong the first one got it), in that short of a time span. Its still our best bet.
Rolled 15Well, gentlemen. In the previous thread someone said that we are Hassan. Someone even said that everyone is Hassan. And look where we are now.
>>24822517YEah, right, and i bet you're going to sell me a camel, too.
>>24822515I'm shocked it took anyone a half an hour to catch that.But you know what I mean.
>>24822530I've been playing vidyagaems for that half hour. I spotted it as soon as I read it.
>>24822465This>>24822508is a pretty good reason.On top of that, in a more theoretical context, the fact that even the first doppelshirou had knowledge reaching back from before Real Shirou was replaced should get the point across that having a doppelganger body doesn't necessarily preclude access to knowledge that Real Shirou has.This opens the line of reasoning that the doppelganger body was simply acting as a bidirectional conduit for Real Shirou's thoughts and actions; albeit using a body that could later be used for nefarious purposes after information gathering had been completed.That, and all the doppelganger learned was that OG Shirou had more iron in his blood and didn't taste like a rotting boot.There's no way "more iron in his blood" would be able to be translated by the doppelganger's master into "this is how Real Shirou's blood would taste", especially once you take into account the actual reasoning behind the odd taste of Shiroublood.
Rolled 11We must revisit the insane theories pastebin and check them REALLY closely. I am pretty sure at least half of them are true.
>>24822517And we had since thread 17 to figure it out too...>>24822530I don't follow>>24822563Fine, but I'm still seeing us getting stabbed at least the second we bring up blood. We can only hope it's non-lethal now that we may or may not have less of a bullshit body.
>>24822578Oh and what if Zouken took it a step further and our spirit floated back to Simac mkII that he was going to replace the first with when he gathered it for info instead of our real body?
>>24822578We have NO WAY of proving our identity other than blood. If she assumes (as she probably does) that the simulacra was a straight-up fake, then she knows it has access to our memories and can mimic us perfectly. We have to offer her physical proof, because ANYTHING we say could easily be a trick.
>>24822592If this was Simulacra mk2, they probably wouldn't care about us escaping, since us going free would mean we could resume our duties as an unwitting spy. The fact that they flipped right the hell out when we were escaping suggests this body is the genuine article.
We have time to explain the situation to the others outside. We didn't get back here immediately, rider has been freaking out for a while, a couple of minutes to explain the situation so that we don't have more freaking out people is well worth it and won't kill rider. We need our allies to know right now that assassin is on his way and that there is a simulacrum inside the house that looks like us and that rider killed it.Also, we need to be honest and up front about the fact that we don't know if we are who we think we are.Rider is liable to freak out more if she sees us, so have saber try and calm rider down and also give her some of our blood to give to rider with the intention of having her confirm whether it is really us or not. I.e. We need to know right now if it's really shirou we have outside and you are currently the only one who can find out for us.
Rolled 9>>24822625Or that they're bullshitting us so that we thing we are the real deal.
>>24822676*Possibly*, but that might be stretching the paranoia a touch far.
>>24822676And that ruse will have lasted a grand total of what, ten minutes? You can't fake the blood. Too much effort for zero payoff.
>>24822694I don't think it's possible to be too paranoid when you've just found out your body was a simulacrum. In any case, I think it's just a wise idea to admit that we have no way of being 100% sure we're not another copy, since that's what everyone's going to be thinking anyway.
So have we reached consensus?
Rolled 8>>24822698We can explode. Or maybe he *can* fake the blood.
>>24822723>We can explode.We Eversor now.
>>24822715Aside the 1 or 2 members of team ULTIMATE PARANOIA EVERYONE IS HASSAN,>>24822239seems to have sufficient support, with the change that we cut our palm immediately after entering the room so Rider can witness us doing it.
>>24822698Or he hadn't intended for us to escape yet. He was planning on leaving us somewhere to be found at a later date. We got away to early.
>>24822723If she doesn't believe us, we could allow ourselves to be tied up by Rider while everyone else calls Taiga so Shirou can reveal some embarrassing childhood secrets that she can confirm.
>>24822723Ok well if he can fake the blood we're cooked, quest over, do not pass go, do not collect 200, because we will NEVER be able to find out since that is our SINGLE reliable method.
Rolled 7>>24822715The consensus seems to be:1. Saber stays with the Girls. Tell them assassin may be on the way.2. Approach door butt naked while tracing knife3. Cut palm wide open, bust in to the dojo.4. Figure out a way to make Rider hesitate (the naked part might or might not help with this)5. March up to Rider with our bleeding hand, maintaining eye contact every step of the way.6. Initiate identity verification, via blood-infused kiss7. No words. Only trust now.
>>24822736Yes, this. The paranoia crowd are just going to argue in circles against anything that doesn't involve immediately assuming we're an exploding magical terminator kill-bot programed to go on a rampage as soon as our allies' backs are turned.
>>24822755NO YOU FOOL, YOU'RE MIXING THE GOOD SUGGESTION WITH THE PANTS-ON-HEAD ONE!
>>24822745Caster may be able to check. As may illya. We have a member of a family that specialises in this kind of thing in the house. We know medea of colchis. We have other ways of checking that we should use even if the blood confirms it's us.
>>24822745We might be able to contract with Saber, as another (barely viable) option.If this doesn't work, we can always leave the harem for a while and hang out with Archer.
Rolled 16>>24822762I'm doing it to get THE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.
>>24822767Would Rin's "Future Babies Blood Magic" suffice?>>24822778This. See if it's viable again.
>>24822736Walking in while cutting our palm is likely to confuse her further, since why would the real Shirou know what just happened with the simulacrum?I say we just go in carefully and try to explain everything. I doubt Rider would kill us instantly, so we should at least have time to propose the blood test.
I'd suggest getting the girls into the living room at least and stay thereThe emiya household is at least protected by a field and its not like they cant hear rider wailing from the dojo. Sound travels after all.
>>24822755No nudity you retard. It adds nothing as the logic being used in its advocate is spurious.
Afterwards we will need to sleep a fucklot.Let's see what Merlin's reaction will be.
>>24822650For the record, this isn't that bad a plan.
>>24822755Less retarded version:1. Saber stays with the Girls. Tell them assassin and/or Zouken may be on the way. 2. Trace a knife, make a small cut on your hand.3. Knock on the door, then open it. Calmly. 4. Smile at Rider, say something along the lines of "You were right."5. Walk forward without hesitation because we have to show we trust her, maintaining eye contact every step of the way.6. Offer hand for taste-testing. Maybe move to kissing later once she's calmed down.7. Make a totally mood-ruining remark like "I was fully expecting the first time you nailed me to end in blood, tears and a lot of confusion for everyone involved, but this wasn't what I had in mind."
>>24822860"You were right, and I need your help to know if this is really me"
Maybe it would be a good idea to first give the others the Cliff's Notes version of what happened and then have one person (maybe Rin) come in with us. Entering with someone familiar might decrease the chance of Rider going crazy and killing us before we can explain things.
>>24822953Nothing like enough time.Ilya is fighting to stop a servant from offing herself and bringing someone else means we need to clam an extra person down when they see the corpse and start questioning if shirou is real or fake.
>>24823192Actually, nowhere does it say she's trying to kill herself. Only that she's panicking pretty badly. So there is time.
>>24823214>Rin answers immediately. "Shirou? What the hell happened? Ilya called me crying and said something happened that she was going to try and stop Rider from doing..... something...."We're not taking that chance.
Rolled 18And the nudity would be wasted on her anyway, since Rider, you know, wears a blindfold.We would confuse the everloving fuck out of our little sister, though.
>Checking previous threads to see if we can figure out who Assassin is>17th verse>Shirou's first nightly chat with Zouken>"That's pretty easy. He wants to kill me." I respond. "We couldn't do this over the phone?""Not without tipping our hand to mutual enemies." He responds calmly. "Besides, this is something of a phone-call. Assassin is Projecting you through a puppet form of his the same way you project weapons."MOTHERFUCKER
>>24823234>>24821820>Illya called me crying and said something happened that she was going to try and stop rider from doing... something>something happened that she was going to try and stop rider from doingThis is saying that Illya failed to stop rider doing something, not that she is trying to stop her doing something now. She was crying because she tried to stop rider killing shirou but was too late.
>>24823288Want something even worse?We were a puppet when we fucked up our escape with Gil.Broserker died for nothing.
>>24823317We didn't know. Hindsight is 20/20, but we made the best decision at the time. Not saying we won't make Zouken and Assassin pay for it later, but we shouldn't beat ourselves up over it.
>>24823317No, he still saved the rest of the party from Gil: We wouldn't have been strong enough to hold him off for long.
>>24823337Except that, in character, Shirou WOULD beat himself up for it. That's the kind of guy he is.
http://typemoon.wikia.com/wiki/Assassin_%28Fate/hollow_ataraxia%29>Unknown puppet master brought about by Avenger being a massive trolling dickYeah, I think this is him. Maybe in a new 'normal' body which explains why he moves so strangely.Or he's pic related, but that prospect is way too fucking terrifying for me so I don't even want to CONSIDER it yet.
>>24823192If that's the case, why the fuck did we tell the others to wait outside?
>>24823806What do think Sakura might do if she sees that her servant killed shirou?The whole point of getting them to stay outside is to isolate the potential for hysterics and panicked blaming and infighting so that we can settle the issue with Rider first and confirm that we are who we say we are.
>>24823806So they won't barge in and see Rider standing over Shirou's corpse.
>>24823848>>24823845They're not going to jump to conclusions like that given that we've already been in contact with them by phone. If we were worried about Rider committing suicide or something, we should have told Rin to get the fuck in there as soon as possible to help Ilya calm Rider down.
>>24823955Maybe, but we also know that Zouken has offered an 'alliance breaking deal' to SOMEONE, most likely Sakura. The only one who could reliably defuse this situation is Shirou.
>>24823955>spoke over the phone with someone who sounds like shirou>See a body of shirouWhich is real, which is fake? They'll panic anyways.
>>24824024>>24824050"Rin, Rider just killed a simulacrum of me sent by Zouken, and she may be in a state of panic. Help calm her down until I arrive and we can sort things out."I can't see any way that could be worse than having everybody wait around outside while Rider possibly kills herself. Even if Rin's not convinced it's the real you on the phone, she's smart enough not to do jump to conclusions before you get there.
I think we should troll Rider more. Must see precious Rider tears.
>>24824151There's also the matter of Zouken having a potentially Alliance-breaking person in our house. Eh, too late for it now, anyway.
>>24824249Granted, I think the only reason why she'd break the alliance was because zouken told her that they have the real shirou in their hands and promised him back if she did as they told.She'd have done it gladly to save shirou and it explains why shes been looking so worried for some reason these past few days.
>>24824286Eh, I'm not so sure. The one anon who made a comment about Zouken saving some of her egg-cells so she might still have children is a way more ominous possibility.
Is it a bad sign that I'm assuming we are now in a simulacrum crafted by Avenger that managed to pass undetected by Zouken while our actual real body is in the forest?
>>24824475We'll know once Rider gets a taste.
>>24824449Which year do we have, again?
>>24824480And then we wake up another place.And then again.And again.Shirouception.