It's my birthday, and as my gift to you, we're going to roll for every. single. action in this thread.~~~~~~~~The flies buzz thickly over the town of Barbado, while you're aboard the relative comfort of the dead Pirate King's flagship. You and the girls have discussed town leadership with Haz, the villager you met two weeks ago near New Bounty. He bows, and leaves the four of you be in the captain's quarters. "Well Keith, it's been interesting, but I'm really curious as to what is in that chest over there." Daliah offers. "So unsubtle, sister, we should search his desk first, a working man keeps his true valuables in his desk." Melissa counters. Rezna is still humming with happiness, and more than a little power.[ ] Check the desk, d100[ ] Check the chest, d100[ ] Other, d100I'll be taking the first option with three votes, and the best number of those three.
Rolled 48>>25003887[X] Check the desk, d100"The chest may have gold, but currently I am interested in paperwork, maps, that sort of thing. We'll get to the chest in due time my dears."
Rolled 76I thought this quest was dead.[ ] Search the desk
Rolled 37>>25003887Check the desk. Maps are most important.
Rolled 66Chest=treasure, search that chest.There needs to be a payoff for leaving the farm for two+ weeks.
Rolled 47>>25003887Oh hey, i was wondering where this quest had gone.Check the desk.If we're lucky we might find some maps and begin a series of trade routes.
>>25003982You decide to take the intellectual approach. "If we have maps, or other writings, maybe I can learn more about the world at large."You set to searching the desk with vigor. It's well crafted, not a cheap piece of furniture by a long shot. You feel around the drawers for hidden compartments, you get underneath of it to look for anything glued to the bottom, a very thorough search really. After a short while, you come up with a small stack of letters, and most importantly, a map.[ ] Read the letters, d10[ ] Check the map, d100
Rolled 90>>25004100>[ ] Check the map, d100
Rolled 49>>25004100Check the map.
Rolled 73>>25004100[x] Check the map.Look for other towns and population centers.
>>25004117Nice.You unfurl a map that makes you very concerned. It's heavily detailed, and clearly the work of a master cartographer. It's also familiar enough to see the basic shapes of the continents you're used to. But it raises more questions than answers. Are you in the 1500's, and this map is considered high tech? Are you in a parallel world? Something else?You note a few red X's, drawn on top of the map. You suppose one of them is Barbado, others must be towns the Pirates visited. [ ] Go over the map further with Daliah, d100[ ] Read the letters, d10[ ] Open the chest now, d100
Rolled 6>>25004253>[ ] Read the letters, d10
Rolled 13>>25004253[X] Read the letters, d10We'll get someone to make us a copy of the map soon enough. Rolling a d100 instead of a d10 as I think that's what you actually want.
>rolling every actionit's like you want us killedlets not eat/drink/have sex this whole thread guys
>>25004271You leaf through the letters. Looking for anything useful, you come across a lover's correspondence. Letters between "Becky and Sam" going into heavy detail of their desires. You're left blushing when you realize neither Becky nor Sam were female. Too lewd. Some good details come across, though. It turns out there's an Arab-alike town some month's journey by ship to the west. Very heavy into trade, friendly to outsiders. Slavery seems to be a practice though. You drop the letters in your bag along with the map and turn to open the chest, finally. d100, please. First one takes it.
>>25004420>roll a 1 eating some food>choke to deathseems like a good idea to me anon
Rolled 84>>25004422Here we go.
>>25004445Boo.You crack open the chest with a nearby prybar, not having found a key anywhere. You're....somewhat disappointed by what you find though. It seems that the dead captain enjoyed sketching his gay lover, and vice versa. There's at least fifty drawings of the two of them in various poses. You shut the chest. What do you want to do now?d100 with your post, most popular takes it.
>>25004434>>25004420y'all also forgot>walking down stairs>walking up stairs>running>trying to jump over a fence>trying to jump over anything>walking/movement in general>using tools>going to sleep>anythingI pray for the dice Gods to have mercy this thread
Rolled 11>>25004509Well I remember the captain talking about doing things girls as well before so he must've been bisexual, also a terrible person.For now let's search this place a bit more, look for any hidden treasures, money, gold, jewelry, perfumes, yadda yadda.
Rolled 70>>25004509search for a hidden compartment in the chest
Rolled 60>>25004509Show the drawings to our wives, lol at their reactions.
Rolled 92>>25004509Search the rest of the Captain's Quarters for things like hidden compartments and anything else of value.A musket, perhaps?
>>25004562>25004562My votes, all of them.
Rolled 76>>25004622seconding because over 90
>>25004622>let's search for treshahYou cast your eye around the cabin, trying to find ANYTHING that both has value, and isn't gay. You stomp around, tap walls, flip the bed. You give the whole place a real makeover. The kicker comes when you flip the desk in a fit. A fairly obvious trapdoor lies below it. You move the planking quickly, and find a small strongbox. It's well made, too well made. You throw it, drop it, hit it repeatedly with the prybar. Finally, you place it calmly on the flipped desk."Dear ______, please open this for me?"[ ] Which wife? d100 for contents. Contents will vary by wife.
Rolled 24>>25004704Melissa, for no real reason.
Rolled 78>>25004704Melissa. Because Providence will provide...that the lock open.
>>25004747"Of course, dear husband."Melissa stands regally before the lockbox, and taps it once with Providence. You hear the lock snap, and you groan. "Can't I do anything? Just once?" Your wives laugh in concert. Inside the lockbox is a small silver flask. About the size of your hand, and done in an intricate gold filigree. It seems to be full of liquid. "Husband, I opened it, I call firsties!"[ ] Take a drink, d10[ ] Let Melissa have the first taste, d10[ ] Other, d100
Rolled 97>>25004814Find out what it holds before anybody puts it in their mouth. For all we know, it's a potion of masculinity. We don't need to swipe out a wife for a husband.
Rolled 37>>25004814[x] Other"Alright, but first, let's smell it to see what it is. It could be perfume rather than alcohol, you know."
Rolled 68>>25004853seconding because over 90
>>25004853Everyone is rolling so nicely tonight."I think we should find out what's in it, first. Daliah?"Daliah nods and picks up the flask. She sniffs the liquid and wrinkles her nose. "Strong liquor."She caps it and flips the flask over and around, inspecting it closely. Her eyes narrow, then she pulls out a book, crossreferencing something.Satisfied, she closes the book with a snap. "It's Bacchus."You nod. "Okay, and that means...?"Daliah puffs. "It's got a capitalized name, Keith, that means it's a relic.""Ohh. How is a flask a relic?" "Because it is.""Damn it girl you know what I mean!"Daliah holds up her hands laughing. "I'm sorry, it's too funny to see you mad. Bacchus is a flask, obviously. It's filled with ten liquors, each seems to come at random as you sip. The flask can never empty, though it will only dispense one mouthful per swig, you can't just hold it upside down and fill a room. Each liquor seems to carry a side effect, mostly positive, though one or two are negative. You can stack these side effects, but the force of the liquor itself also stacks. Three or four shots later, and you're not so useful, though you might have a bunch of positive side effects."Wow. [ ] Take a swig, d10[ ] Other, d100
Rolled 10>>25004991[X] Take a swig, d10We're getting drunk! Woo! Booze!
Rolled 1[ ] Take a swig, d10might as well. Then pass it along.Considering she didn't warn about the 'negative effect' killing you I figure the worse it will do is knock us out.
Rolled 2>>25004991take a swig
>>25005009>>25005016>>25005020glad we dodged that 1 and 2
>>25005009You shrug your shoulders, and take the flask back from Daliah. "Unlimited power up booze? Sounds ideal." You uncap the flask, and take a long swig. The strong taste of anise passes over your tongue, coating your mouth. It's a pleasant sensation. You lower the flask, and cap it. "I don't feel any different. What's the licorice flavoured attribute, Daliah?"She flips through her book quickly, and puts a finger on a page. "Sambuca, who drinks this becomes impossibly smooth for four hours." >social rolls nat100You smile, and your wives melt a little bit. The warmth in your stomach feels great. [ ] Now what? Go home? Stay in Barbado? Head out to sea?d100, regardless.
Rolled 18>>25004991>Say it might be a potion of masculinity.>Named after a god known for his ungodly large penis.
>>25005091so do you lady's want to have some sex?
Rolled 64>>25005103You have my roll.
>>25005091>having nat 100's>not using it to have a fourwaywho the hell do you think we are HG?
>>25005113>>25005103>>25005125All sex happens in the pastebin due to tastes. If you guys want me to write a fourway later, I will.
Rolled 16>>25005091Pass flask around, let shenanigans ensue. Somehow wake up having sailed home.
Rolled 76>>25005091First give all of our wives kisses, make them melt a bit more. Then let's stay in Barbado for a bit, talk to the people in the town about trade agreements, using the ships here to establish trade routes with the rest of the world, giving our village preferred trading partner status, use our current absurd social prowess to get very good deals out of them. Also discuss the future of this town and its economy.We'll sleep with all of our wives after this, after we've had time to kiss and tease them for hours while dealing with negotiations so they're positively melting and need it instead of just giving it to them right off the bat.
>>25005125seconding for awesome 4way
Rolled 94>>25005091[x] Go over the map with DaliahBut that can come second. First, let's use the advantages of this Sambuca, and have some fun with our ladies.Then we check the other towns, go for the closest after getting some supplies and asking the villagers about it.
Rolled 97>>25005137So do a four hour time skip. FOUR HOURS NIGGA!
>>25005150I want to caution you on blue balling a girl who just made it rain blood on a village for hours.
>>25005137sounds good, proceed to timeskip
>>25005168But, but, trade agreements. We'll cuddle her the entire time, we're just getting other stuff done as well.
Rolled 32>>25005168are you implying I wouldn't want magic blood sex, I promise you sir this is a battle you will lose if so
>>25005168Thank you for the wise advise, o' benevolent and bountiful Goddess. Let us pay attention to the three perfect women in our life. Hopefully we have enough stamina for the duration of the potion, otherwise we might want to use the mask for a bit.
>>25005195After. Not before and certainly not during.
>>25005217We should do it subtly
>>25005198I think yes asking if you want the fade to black to state with a sudden loss of blood pressure rendering Keith unconscious.
>>25005171>alright alrightYou smile wider, and decide to knock boots in the cabin for a few hours. You bar the door, and with your back turned, remove your shirt. "I don't suppose there's a doctor in the house? I think I sprained something in my pants"You have a few brief moments before the three of them drag you into the bed, and have all of their ways with you. All of their ways.~~~~~~You're fucking drained, you feel like beef jerky. There's nothing left to you, you need a pick me up. [ ] Look for something to eat. d100[ ] Another swig of Bacchus should do it, d10[ ] Sleep it off, and begin plans for trading/sailing tomorrow, d?
Rolled 87>>25005259[ ] Look for something to eat. d100
Rolled 46>>25005259>[ ] Look for something to eat. d100Don't mess around with the Relic.
Rolled 8>>25005259LOOK OUT LIVER HERE IT COMES
Rolled 27>>25005259[X] Look for something to eat. d100
>>25005273>>25005276 Can I support both of these? Because I support both of these.
>>25005137link to pastebin(s)?
Rolled 1>>25005259>Swig!We're sober, what's the worst that could happen?
>>25005292>can I?In my threads, the answer is always yes. The qualification is always, If someone else wants it too.
>>25005303At thread end, don't need anybody masturbating midthread.
Rolled 16attempt to post
Rolled 88>>25005308Eat and drink then.
>>25005292>>25005323"Girls, I'm dying. Of hunger. Can someone go find me anything? Seriously, I'll eat anything."Rezna jumps up. "I'll be right back!" A cracking noise, and she disappears. "Damn, she's still holding on to that kind of power?While you wait for her to return, you eye Bacchus. One more drink couldn't hurt. *glug*The taste of pine floods your mouth. God damn, it's like giving a christmas tree a blowjob."Daliah!" you cough, "what does gin mean?""Hmm, gin gives you the ability to think more clearly, apparently. You'll have better ideas for four hours, and apparently you can plot like a master.">TL note: plot means plot"That seems fairly nebulous Daliah, I think I like the Sambuca better." "I also prefer the Sambuca, but we can't just sit around and fuck all the time."With another crack, Rezna is back, with a chicken. It's been cleaned and cooked. "Where'd you get that?" you say between greasy mouthfuls. "Home, of course. I cooked it on the way." She beams at you as you eat. "Wait. Home? That's like 400 kilometers away!"Rezna giggles. "Space and time aren't all that meaningful." Your wives are scary.[ ] Now what? d100
>>25005259>for a few hoursI'm hoping that means "less than four", because I think we really ought to take advantage of our temporary silver tongue to chat with the new mayor of Barbado about trade and such.
>>25005457>"Hmm, gin gives you the ability to think more clearly, apparently. You'll have better ideas for four hours, and apparently you can plot like a master.">>TL note: plot means plotOK, draw an x and y axis, and plot some functions.Then pick up the resulting axes and chop down a tree, because we're just that good.
Rolled 50>>25005457We're smart?Then use that intellect to analyze the map, and come up with a resource and trade system that the towns can use to maximize prosperity generation.Basically go all MaoYuu on this.
Rolled 99>>25005457think of the best way to expand our farm/form a nation statemight need some help guys
Rolled 98>>25005457Ask Rezna if she can teleport with others, too. Get her to use Keith for a demonstration, and teleport him to one of the pirate ships in the harbor and back.Then see if she can stop halfway through a teleport, and be present but insubstantial.
>>25005507>might need some help>rolled a 99No, I think you'll do just fine.
Rolled 52>>25005457Go to town ADHD see if we can negotiate for some salt and exotic (but climate appropriate) seeds for the farm.
>>25005507welp rolled a 99 any ideas on how expand our farm and to form a legitimate nation state?
Rolled 28>>25005457Poster of >>25005512here; better idea:While the Sambuca is still active, get Rezna to teleport Keith back to New Bounty, and talk Hamad into retiring as the mayor/leader/whatever and leaving Daliah in charge of the town.
>>25005517>ADHDThat explains so much about you, autocorrect function. That should have been "and".
>>25005523You've got multiple options. >Literally just expand your farm>Form 'cultural exchanges' with other towns, peacefully if possible>just annex the fuck out of the world
>>25005507Part of this would be trade routes for this place and how they ought to best expand it and improving the rest of our village.So we just need a pencil, a lot of paper, and we'll write a treatise on government, economics, and trade.Aren't we also wearing Risk?
>>25005507well looks like it's time to form a monarchy/ start writing a constitution
>>25005536I think we're already handling this quite nicely: we're expanding the farm with each new season, and we're setting up trade.Why don't we take advantage of this astounding new plotting skill to think up something that we can't just do by thinking OOC in-thread? For instance, perhaps Keith could think through some way to invent something we've been wanting in a less obvious way, and you could handwave it as "plot"?
>>25005536Forming cultural and economic bonds with other towns, increasing trade and improving roads so that there is improved communication, resulting in the formation of a single political and economic entity for greater trading power and for the common defense.
>>25005529As much as I like the idea of retiring Hamad, Daliah would probably be happier at your side, and mayoring is a full time job.
>>25005565>invent somethingI'm listening, but also, a warning.>no gunpowderSeriously, you can't trust /tg/ with gunpowder.
>>25005576Even in a town as small as New Bounty, with so few decisions to be made?
>>25005536Mainly >Form 'cultural exchanges' with other towns, peacefully if possibleAs well as improvements to our village, making it more efficient and turning it into an economic and agricultural power house.Also ideas on how to deal with Slavville and bring those Slavs into the fold with New Bounty and using their resources most effectively.>>25005529But then Daliah would be busy mayoring and not busy adventuring with us, farming with us, and sleeping with us.>>25005590I would think more along the lines of the necessary technologies for an industrial revolution along with the methods of connection towns together to make it viable to pull off as well as any agricultural techniques to increase yields we can think of.
>>25005590time for some electricity then
>>25005590Agreed, gunpowder would be a hell no.I was thinking more like having a brilliant insight during the next four hours that combing common plants A and B with some handy plotonium would produce a reliable birth control pill, and promptly forgetting how it works at the end of the four hours but nonetheless being able to recreate it at will. Something wildly useful yet not actually gamebreaking in any way.
>>25005592People like to bitch to the mayor on a regular basis. "So and so is using my land, so and so is too loud at night, so and so is annoying". >>25005607Do you want me to use my imagination for the invention?
>>25005632>People like to bitch to the mayor on a regular basis. "So and so is using my land, so and so is too loud at night, so and so is annoying".Multiple times per day in a town of a few dozen people?
>>25005632as long as it brings fourth the industrial revolution yes
Rolled 21>>25005632It depends on how dirty your imagination is.Sure, why not.
>>25005630Actually, what about proper road construction and maintenance methods, like for Roman roads?Or remembering how a steam engine, with all of its necessary safety valves, was constructed.Even how to build a waterwheel-powered lathe.
>>25005632>Do you want me to use my imagination for the invention?We can come up with it fine, I think, as long as you allow it.
>>25005632Mainly methods of replacing manpower with machine and animal labor as was the primary driving factor behind the industrial revolution.Spinning mules, increased textile production, steam power, consistent and large scale iron production, mining tech, wheat threshers, road and railway construction.
>>25005632>Do you want me to use my imagination for the invention?To bring forth some amazing new cultural revolution? Nah, not all in one thread.> Or remembering how a steam engine, with all of its necessary safety valves, was constructed.Yeah, that does seem about the right level. Not that we can necessarily *build* it, but Keith could have a savant moment and sketch the plans, for the smith to recreate later.
>>25005698I am all for developing the steam engine>muh railroads>steampunk here we come
>>25005590>>25005632So, some plausible suggestions that might work, that seem like the kind of thing Keith couldn't normally do without the help of Bacchus. Keith's eyes roll back in his head, he starts thinking a mile a minute, and sketches out the plan for:- A combination of common unspecified plants that produces a reliable birth control pill.- The plans for a steam-to-motion engine (insert water and fire here) that the smith could build given enough time.- The plans for a simple DC generator powered by a rotating input shaft. Further electronics TBD.
>>25005746Remember, the first use of the steam engine wasn't railways but pumping water out of mines. It has a lot of implications outside of that.
>>25005762Oh of course, how could anyone forget the first thing the steam engine was used for?My threads are always full of you people, and it always surprises me.
>>25005754- A combination of common unspecified plants that produces a reliable birth control pill.- The plans for a steam-to-motion engine (insert water and fire here) that the smith could build given enough time.- The plans for a simple DC generator powered by a rotating input shaft. Further electronics TBD.- A water pump.Any of those ideas sound reasonable to anyone else?(I'm betting HG already regrets introducing the power of "plot". "Hey Keith, it says here that that particular liquor will only appear in Bacchus once per ten years or so.")
>>25005699>>25005698Suddenly, something strikes you. You grab some paper and a pencil.You sketch intensely for an hour, with the girls peering over your shoulder in curiosity. When you lean back, you're proud. "But what IS it, Keith?" Daliah asks in frustration. "Imagine moving a wagon along a road without a donkey. Imagine moving a train of wagons, along a road, without a single donkey. Just fire, and water.""This is blasphemy, Keith! This is madness! Are you unwell? Was the chicken not cooked?"You raise a hand. "I can't go home to civilization, so I'm going to bring civilization here."You look at your drawing, and can't help but feel like a new era is coming.[ ] Now, what are we doing? I need a solid "go home" or "go sailing" or something. details too. d100, of course.
>>25005794DC is easier to store, but isn't AC easier to generate and to transmit over long distances?We're not getting vacuum tubes and transistors anytime soon, so maybe AC with it's applications to lighting, welding, and powering machines would be better.
Rolled 9, 86 = 95>>25005820Buy crops (if we can get a discount or find something interesting) and then go home. Rolling a d100 for each action.
>>25005794>regret introducing plotYes and no. It does give you a random chance to really, really effect the story, which is good. On the other hand, it does give you the ability to really, really effect the story, which is bad. I'm not too too worried. If you guys piss me off I'll just kill off one of your wives. Just kidding.Maybe.No, I'm kidding, mostly.
Rolled 95>>25005820Pack Bacchus away before we're tempted to drink of it further.What time of day is it? If it's early enough in the day, start making plans to head back to New Bounty, otherwise see if we can rustle up some music and arrange a small party with some dancing, to celebrate peace in Barbado and the new trade agreement with New Bounty.
Rolled 62>>25005789Well I'm not technically correct, the first commercial usage of it was then. There were smaller scale proofs of concept before that dating back to the 1st century AD that did simple things like opening doors, operating simple pistons or making things spin, but those aren't really that important.>>25005820Hammer out some basic trade agreements with the locals of Barbado involving trade with our village, them expanding trade to some of the places on the map, that sort of thing.Also leave the map with them and ask them to make a copy for us to be sent along with the first trade shipments.
>>25005820I'm SAILING AWAY!!! Set an open course for virgin...lands! That would give plenty of time to test the other effects of the flask.
Rolled 52>>25005820Go to the nearest town, using the ship, with a small crew from Barbado and making sure that the flag is changed for something else. Maybe even change the color of the sails, indicating that this ship has a new captain.Meanwhile, a trade expedition will be sent back to New Bounty with salt, and good news for Hamad, and a payment for the boy taking care of our farm, and instructions that he can get a portion of the profits of the harvest and that he's to buy up more seeds and plant them.
>>25005874Good point, we need to go home for the harvest. We can go adventuring once it's the fall.
Rolled 4>>25005887I wouldn't trust a single boy with the hard work of planting an entire farm. There's a lot of work there and it's a multiple person job.Besides, we're just about to get a seed drill, it'll be awesome.We should also make sure there's no coinage to take back with us, some money for buying stuff would be good, we're running low on spending cash.
Shit, I just realized. We need to learn Drunken Boxing. If we know that, then we chug some Bacchus we'll be like a Super Powered Jackie Chan.
>>25005457>>25005874So, we're at the tail end of the Sambuca (might still be active), we're still plotting like Xanatos, and we rolled a 95 to set up a party and dancing.This is going to be awesome.
>>25005820Is the smith capable of drawing out steel into wires?Won't work in time for the party, but we need to work with the carpenter and the smith to see if we can't construct a rudimentary guitar.
>>25005999Shouldn't be too hard to produce a low-fidelity guitar. Between five and eight steel strings threaded through small wooden holes in a plate on one end and melted solidly into place, a hollow wooden body of roughly the right shape (isn't *that* critical, it'll still sound decent if we get it roughly right), a long neck with a dozen or so movable frets (since we don't remember the fret spacing well enough to get it right without tuning it), and some small metal tuning keys screwed into the wood on the end of the neck to wrap the other end of the metal around. As long as there's enough play in the tuning keys, we're prepared to spend a while tuning it, and Keith has ever heard the pentatonic scale before in his life (it sticks with you, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBJ7mBxi8LM) we should be able to make a guitar good enough to play recognizable music.
>>25005874God damn you all.If you can't stop rolling so high I'm going to confiscate your relics! This is not a Seinen!~~~~~The town is mostly cleaned of blood, and the villagers are congregating in the center of town. There's a great deal of hubbub, so you make your way there to see what's up. It turns out everyone is rejoicing at the demise of the pirates. They always feared that one or more would escape from an uprising and come back with reinforcements, but they died to a man last night. A celebration is taking place soon, this night in fact. There's a sculptor working on a huge piece of marble in the center of the square already, in fact, and though it's just begun, it looks suspiciously familiar to you. You tap the sculptor on the back and whisper to him. "Give her wings, like an angel, she'd like that." He smiles and nods vigorously. "Of course! How inspiring!" and with that, he begins chiseling furiously anew. Housewives are cooking meats, and baking pies, and the smell is driving you insane. Your wives have dispersed into the festivities to explore. Rezna is being carried through the town, she's elated, though you frown at some of the men touching your waifu. [ ] Get some food, d100[ ] Learn some local lore/rumours, d10[ ] Join one of your wives for a date, d100[ ] Other, d100
Rolled 85>>25006082[X] Learn some local lore/rumours, d10Do this while [X] Get some food, d100Places where people are congregating for food and drink are some of the best places to pick up local rumors.
Rolled 10>>25006082>one of your wives>oneNo good can come of this.>[ ] Learn some local lore/rumours, d10
>>25006082>God damn you all.>If you can't stop rolling so high I'm going to confiscate your relics! This is not a Seinen!>>25006124>Rolled 10You were saying?
Rolled 85>>25006082[x]time to negotiate some trade terms
>>25006159We discussed trade in the last thread, mostly. Their salt for our food.
>>25006160>>25005999>>25006072if y'all want it test your luck and roll for it
>>25006109>Rolled 85>>25006159>Rolled 85This is rapidly turning into Ogre Farming Quest.And it is glorious.In any case, looks like we're getting a snack and some astounding top secret local rumors.
>>25006204Not now; we'll need the smith and carpenter to help us later when we get back to New Bounty.
>>25006191what about tariffs? how many pounds of salt are we getting how much food are we sending overit's the small things man
>>25006205>This is rapidly turning into Ogre Farming Quest.Nah, it won't be Ogre Farming Quest until Keith can toss some seeds around, then stomp his foot and command they "Hurry Up" causing them to instantly pop up fully formed.
>>25006246>imposing tariffs on your sole trading partner for saltYou can't possibly be this dumb.
>>25006246Details, schmetails. Keith can work out the exchange rates behind the scenes..>>25006264Yup.>>25006252True, though that's just a relic away. We've talked in past threads about finding a localized grow-faster relic as a means of doing more targeted farming in a very small area.
>>25006124Play it cool and learn some lore/rumors.
>>25006264>[ ] Learn some local lore/rumours, d10Remember when some people wanted to farm frozen soil in winter instead of helping our wives in a Relic fight?
>>25006290How ironic that it would have lead to Rezna killing one or both of them, and you would have lead a lonely existence on the farm, growing meager crops, and dying young from heartache?
>>25006309So yes. Some people really are that dumb.Now, let's learn us some local lore.
>>25006309Not really, there's one anon (maybe two, but I am unconvinced) that seems to really like Bad Ends and will actively work towards them.
>>25006353Honestly, I suspect they just didn't think it through. Not so much "dumb" as "short-sighted and interested in more farming".
>>25006124>>25006124You head to a lively looking bar, you figure you could spend some time learning about the area. The atmosphere is easily ten times what it is back in New Bounty. Everyone is chatting loudly, the bartenders are bouncing around serving almost constantly. You take a seat at the bar, and plink a silver coin down while looking the eldest bartender in the eye. You have good luck with the elderly, usually. They have all the good stories, at least."My good man, tell me something I don't know." He doesn't miss a beat. "My wife's a grumpy old bitch!"You laugh long and hard. "You two are well paired then! Tell me something else I don't know."He smiles with his leathery face, and leans in. "I know a lot of things, like that you're not from around here, and I don't just mean not from Barbado."That catches your interest, but you play it cool."Oh? What do you know about me, oh fortune teller?""You're not the first one to leave their old lives in the world behind, and suddenly wind up in this world. I used to be a fisherman. My wife left me for another man, and took the kids with her. She told a judge I hit her, so I was denied visitation indefinitely. She cleaned me out in court, all I had left was my boat, and that was getting repo'd in a week. So, I took my boat, and just went off in a random direction. I intended to die at sea. But, a storm hit, four days out, and I wound up on the beach, here. That was fourty years ago boy. I've lived a happy life since, but I've never really understood what happened. Do you think we're dead?"You're not sure what to say.[ ] Say something, roll for eloquence as the Sambuca has now worn off.
>>25006383Well that was sudden
Rolled 70>>25006383"What year was it when you left?"
Rolled 62>>25006383"I don't know. If we are dead, then I'd say most of the time this is as close to heaven as I can imagine, though the pirates and a few other events would argue otherwise. But I really don't know.">>25006421This too. (And what year was it when *Keith* left?)
Rolled 74>>25006383Take a swig of Bacchus"I don't know, but maybe we will find out sooner or later"
>>25006421This I like it.
Rolled 13>>25006383"I wouldn't say we're dead yet, since we can still die here."40 years here? What year was it when you left?"
>>25006383"Fuck if I know old-timer, fuck if I know. Maybe we're dead, maybe we're alive and just somewhere else, maybe we're in a limbo for lost souls, I have never claimed to be an expert in metaphysics.All I know is that I feel alive, I taste delicious food, I feel the wind on my face and the aches of my muscles after a long day working on my farm. I have three beautiful, lovely, strong women who I love with all my heart and love me back with equal vigor. I feel more alive here than I ever did back on Earth and that's enough for me. Though I miss a few things, so I figure I'll just make them, start up our own little Industrial Revolution, it'll be hilarious.Say, what year was it when you left? I'm just wondering if there's a linear correlation between this world and our old one."
Rolled 78>>25006474I think this says everything we could possibly want to say, and very well at that. Rolling for it.
>>25006474>>25006499Poster of >>25006441 here, and I'm retracting it in favor of the above.
"What year was it when you left?" is all you can manage at first.He closes his eyes and thinks hard. "It becomes...difficult to tell after a while. I'm not senile, not yet, but I forget a lot of things about my old life. I think it's safe to say sometime in the 70's, though. You?"You sigh in relief, at least time seems to be linear here. "2012. Did you know there was a black president?" "Bullshit!"~~~~~~~A long time passes, well into the night. You swap stories with Paul, the old man who represents your old life. At the end, he looks sad. "Well boy, I suppose you'll be going on your way now. I hope your life here is as good as mine was. Don't....don't waste too much time trying to go back. I spent a few good years looking for an exit, and I don't know why. Perhaps it's only human nature. The grass is pretty green over here, boy, just learn to graze."You extend your hand, and he shakes it. [ ] Anything you need to clear up before you leave?
>>25006582"I'd like to know more about the nature of this world, but I'm not looking for a way back. I'm very happy here, much happier than I was outside."
>>25006582"Why would I want to go back? Well, other than modern dentistry and penicillin.I love it here, I feel at home here. There's opportunities and new sights around every corner. Besides, my wives would kill me if I just up and left like that, and I could never bring myself to leave them anyways, I love them too much.Take care of yourself Paul. I might see you around."
>>25006582"Do you know if anyone dies of so-called 'old age' in this world, or only violent deaths?"(I hate the description of deaths as of "old age"; it really just means nobody cared to investigate. But it makes the point, and I'd like to know.)
>>25006582Feel free to write Paul. I'd love to hear more of what you have to tell, besides it's nice to have at least some link to the old world, even if we're happy to graze here.
>>25006676Fun fact, I used to work for the morgue. Old age means heart failure 9/10 times.
>>25006704"heart failure" is a proximate cause, though, still not a true cause. Something causes the heart to fail.
>>25006582[x] Ask about other townsDid Barbado have contact with other towns at all, or was it always through the pirates?
>>25006718If you want to be anal about it, we could talk about Telomeres unravelling and causing the genetic material to be less stable with each division, causing ineffective cells over time, but it's much easier to just say "heart failure".
Rolled 33>>25006582Wait, if Keith and Paul are from our world, that means there are others. Perhaps were not the first to try to bring inovation...Inb4 were invaded by neon-vikings from across the ocean, whose leader is some genius super villain from the 80's hellbent on taking over the galaxy
>>25006751Being anal about finding the actual cause is the first step towards fixing it. Call it a pet peeve, but the mindset that doesn't actually pursue the real reason for death is the same mindset that accepts it and sickly venerates it rather than treating it as a disease we can and will cure someday.
>>25006785>we can and will cure deathMaybe.Should we? No.
>>25006798This is getting off topic for /tg/, so I'll avoid continuing this argument; it's a very old one, and not one likely to lead somewhere productive given that response. I will say, however, that I disagree with every fiber of my being with the idea that we "shouldn't". If you want to die for some reason, feel free, but don't doom the rest of us.
>>25006776This is a distinct possibility."Well Paul, write me, won't you? You can't leave, but you can send letters with the trade wagons now. If you write me, I'll write you back."He nods. "I'll be sure to do that Keith. Be careful with three wives though. It doesn't seem to be illegal here, but it's still dangerous. Just like acid."[ ] Go find a wife[ ] Timeskip homed100s, d100s everywhere.
>>25006798We should at that to our goals.Curing death. I'm sure the Harvest Goddess will get a kick out of that.
Rolled 34>>25006798Could we at least find a cure for Murder?
Rolled 63>>25006852Let's go check up on Melissa, she might be getting a wee bit tipsy.
>>25006866Not being a dick is usually a good preventative measure for murder.
>>25006852*Hell* no do we need another wife. Three is enough for anyone. Two was enough, too.Wasn't Barbado planning a small party before? I hope we didn't skip out on the whole thing to go to a bar. Let's go dancing with our wives.
Rolled 1>>25006852>[ ] Timeskip homeWe're done here.We need to find a surveyor who can start mapping a road.
>>25006883I meant go find YOUR wives.
Rolled 44>>25006852gather the wives and go dancing.
Rolled 35>>25006883Sorry, forgot to roll for party and dancing.
>>25006882but that's too hard....I just prefer to fall back on good old plan C
Rolled 33>>25006893Oh, heh. Slightly ambiguous there.Yes, go find our wives and go dancing.
Rolled 52>>25006852"Dangerous how?"Seems like an important issue, and I want to know why he said it.
>>25006924Dangerous as in I have a hard time keeping one wife happy. Keeping three women happy enough not to kill you in your sleep is somewhat more finesse-y.
>>25006946Ah. That's a fine kind of danger. Keith lives for that kind of danger. And if he dies for that kind of danger, well, what a way to go.
Rolled 75>>25006852Find all the wives?
Rolled 18Wives, slow-dancing. Three wives means two sets of dance partners, switching off.
>>25006992> all our wivesForgot the nat100 rule, should have been more specific just in case.
>>25007001My boners. Writing this.Do you want to risk Bacchus first?
>>25007018A world of no. We already got two good effects from it today; let's leave more experimentation on it until another time.
>>25007018Let's start it sober, we can take a swig half way through to see what hilarity results if we really want, but let's at the very least get some dancing in before we risk another swig.
>>25007018Dammit, do we reward crazy blood-withy wife by starting with her, or do we keep the drink from her as long as possible?
>>25007001>>25007018>My boners. Writing this.Happy to be of...service?
Rolled 7>>25007018Totally! Let's wear Risk and Reward while we do it, too.
>>25007042We can offer each of them a drink from it later (yay 3d10), but let's not do so until after we've enjoyed some nice slow-dancing and wrapped up the evening.
>>25007045No, let's just give the three of them an honest dance with Keith.No shenanigans and no tomfoolery. Just romance.
>>25007071Pair slow-dancing at first, then we can all make fools of ourselves trying to modify standard slow-dancing to work with four people.
>>25007085And somehow it'll be Keith's fault.
>>25007018And now I'm hoping the smutbin ends up with some followup slow-dancing at home, clothing optional.
You take your leave of Paul, and go out to join the festivities proper. There's women dancing, and men clapping in tune with a lively beat. You spot your wives lined up with the village girls, enjoying themselves heartily. You can't take your eyes off of Melissa, bouncing merrily. You step forward, between the men and the women. You stand alone in an open space, and it draws eyes. Rezna breaks rank and runs to you first. The music stops, and a few gasps ring out as she jumps and embraces you. She kisses you, and you hear glass breaking somewhere near by. She pulls back and addresses the crowd. "I will not stop kissing my husband just because you all think I'm an angel of death!" Oh, so that's what happened. Makes sense, really. You hold up a hand to the small band. "Something slow, and romantic would please her, I think."Immediately, they strike up a pleasing slow song. You place your hands on Rezna's hips, and begin leading her through a simple two step. She's delighted by the intimacy, and closes the distance between the two of you.Just past the two of you, you can see your other wives strike up a similar dance, with Daliah predictably leading Melissa. They seem to be chatting. "Rezna, I don't think I've properly thanked you for what you did last night. You harnessed a massive amount of power, didn't allow it to corrupt you, and then followed my instructions to the letter. You freed a town from piracy, and did it purely out of the goodness of your heart. Thank you, Rezna."She sighs. "No, no. I did it for you, silly. I like these people, but I wouldn't have done what I did for them. I'm...losing my love of wholesale murder. You're making me soft, Keith. I love you though, and I'll always go where you point. Just promise to never leave me." You laugh a little. "Well, we all die someday, Rezna." You meant it lightheartedly, but Rezna takes your head in one hand and makes eye contact. "Not you, Keith. I will not allow it. You will die last."
>>25007243You know, in a strange way that's rather reassuring. Creepy, but reassuring and adorable.
>>25007243Well....the power of the Medallion could extend life.And there might be passive bonuses even without it. So I guess it could be done.
>>25007243"Perhaps, but that would mean I'd have to live without you, or Daliah, or Melissa. I don't know that I can do that. Clearly we'll all have to live forever. Let me know if you figure that one out."
>>25007243"What do you mean?"Rezna smiles sadly. "Your wives have been talking, and none of them want to live without you. So, we decided you would die last. Don't worry too much about it. Now, I believe it's time to switch partners. Farewell!"Rezna slips off, and suddenly your arms are full of Daliah's hard lines. Her smooth muscle glides under your hands, and the two of you struggle with lead, before she relents and let's you have it."A masterful husband, I see. Have you been enjoying your victory celebration?"You shake your head. "No, this is Rezna's celebration. The town even commissioned a statue of her for her deeds."Daliah laughs, "Oh, is that what you think? Wait until you see it tomorrow morning. But enough of that, we need to talk, you and I. You're becoming more powerful, and we need to talk about what you're going to do with it."You miss a step, and Daliah takes the lead seamlessly. "You mean we're becoming more powerful." She shakes her head. "No, you. We're your equals, but we follow you out of love and loyalty. So you're in nominal charge. What are you going to do with all that power? Gather the rest of it? Conquer the world? Find a way back to your true home?"She looks away at the mention of the last one. [ ] Say something[ ] Say nothing
>>25007243that Immediately brought this to mind
Rolled 75>>25007352"And leave you girls behind? Never. I'll keep my promise, we'll bring your mother back, and will live long and wonderful lives together."
>>25007352"My true home is on the farm, with my three wonderful wives, and don't go thinking otherwise. I'd like to know a bit more about the nature of this world I find myself in, but I have no intention of leaving, and especially not if it meant leaving you.As for the relics, I have no problem using them while we have them, but once we find them all I promise you that we'll bring back the Harvest Goddess."
>>25007352>[ ] Say something"This is my home now, Daliah. Wherever you three are is my home, regardless of geographic, temporal, or dimensional location. Though I'd miss the farm real bad."I promised you that we'd gather the Relics together and restore the Harvest Goddess, and that's what we'll do. "We were lucky with the Relics that were near New Bounty, but look what the Helm did to Barbado. They're dangerous in the wrong hands."
Not the last, my life is here. You are here. Not to conquer either. Managing a farm is enough for me I think. I shudder to think on what managing an empire would take.Gathering the relics, yes. We have a plan for those. And when they are gone and your mother back I think whatever power we have used in that time will have been used for good. At least I hope with us all to balance one another.
>>25007352Even if I found a way home, I may not take it. Even if I did, I'd make sure to take you all with me.
>>25007421This, plus: "Rezna said something about me dying last. I don't suppose you'll tell me what that's all about? Because it's scaring me a little to think about what that could mean."
>>25007352[X] Say something"I'm not interested in conquering the world, it seems like more trouble than it's worth, and I would abdicate the moment I saw all the paperwork I'd have to take care of. Managing a farm and the three of you sly minxes is about all I can handle.I just want to make the world a better place where I can while still having a nice life. Power for its own sake doesn't interest me. We have an opportunity to do a lot of good for the world, I say we take it. We can rely on each other to make sure that nobody loses sight of what's important.And Daliah, I am going to return to my true home, tomorrow in fact, after this party. I'm sure you remember it as we just left. There's fields in need of tending and I have missed our bed."
>>25007425>"We were lucky with the Relics that were near New Bounty, but look what the Helm did to Barbado. They're dangerous in the wrong hands."Yup. "I can't promise we're the right hands, but I think it's safe to say we'll do better than that.">>25007425Yeah, I definitely want to know this.
Rolled 34>>25007444It's just the ramblings of an autistic lovebird, she didn't mean anything menacing about itI hope.
>>25007486I'd believe that if she didn't say that all three wives had been talking about it. Now I'm worried.
>>25007352I still say this is the fantasy equivalent of Silent hill.The fact that we don't know how we got here and people ask us if we want to return home every once in awhile doesn't help.
>>25007568>implying this is more fantasy than Silent Hill
>>25007614Just wait until we try to bring back a dead Harvest Goddess.I'm sure nothing bad could happen.
um... did OP pass out or something?
>>25007976OP is married, and sometimes has to step away for the same kinds of activities he writes about.
>>25007992ah, yes, I see.well then to pass the time, I shall read some fine literature which is definitely not porn.
>>25008006And I shall re-read the smutbins for this quest and Psion.
>>25008006>>25008021Know any other quests with writing that hot?
>>25008073 Blatant Fetish Quest does have some good smut scenes, both those in the quest and in the pastebins written by Anons. It has its flaws, legitimate reasons to dislike it, and there has been a decent bit of drama surrounding it that I'd rather not call up right now. But the smut itself is solid.
>>25008139Not nearly as good as HMQ or Psion, in my opinion. And it gets old *really* fast.
>>25008169I agree with you on that, the smut inside the quest tends to be similar from one time to the next, and given that it's written on the spot unlike pastebins it tends to be a bit choppier and unedited. The fanmade pastebins do have some good parts.
>>25008139I would have to agree that BFQ if pretty good if you are looking for that sort of thing.From my experience though is you go for the smut ,but stay for the magic/story It also helps if you ignore everyone.
>>25008222Kinda like the protagonists ignore everyone?I just can't get into either the plot or the characters at all, which makes me entirely uninvested in the smut. Here, and in Psion, the smut is well-written but so are the characters. Can't say I care for our apparent continuing increment of the waifu count, but I found Keith, Melissa, and Daliah a very believable couple.
is... is quest over already?
>>25003887>Harvest Moon Quest, Volume 17, Where the Fuck Have You Been, HG?thread title related.
>>25008279That's what happens when you bring an emotionally damaged and deprived girl home and shower her in care and affection after she hadn't had any for years upon years. She'll get rather attached.Yanderes man, once they get attached there's no way around it, and she's integrated well with the others despite being utterly crazy.>>25008293Dunno, HG disappeared, might be internet problems, might've collapsed at the keyboard, might be tending to real life like his wife and things more important than us internet fellows. If HG was going to bed I think they would've said that.
>>25008343I'm not arguing that there weren't in-game reasons why it happened, I'm arguing that I wish HG hadn't taken it there.