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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>Tsundere filter, pls
Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDb
Ebook doesn't have the deleted thread in it, I figured AC-Guy would repost those posts in the next thread.

And as a long-awaited bonus, the link to the Insane Pastebin MK II: http://pastebin.com/mESUMPvM

>23 hits before posting link here
What. I didn't even link it on twiter, and not even that many people follow me. How...
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>not using superior Stay Again edit
Timeline is here http://pastebin.com/afNEHk0R
>Ilya is a vampire
>Taiga is a clone
>Shirou is Satan
>The Grail is Ayako
>Zouken is Santa Clause
>Rin, Rider, and Sakura are all halucinations. Everyone else is just playing along for shits and giggles.
Did I miss anything?
AC-Guy is currently having a biiiiiiiit of a problem posting and is trying to find a workaround.
Par for course really.
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So is this a recap, an insane theories discussion, a strategy meeting, or all of the above?

At least nothing is on fire, yet.


>AC-Guy @ArmoredQuest 2s
>Feel free to start without me while I work on this shit.

Yes.We should probably start with a recap of some sort though.
I'd contribute but there are glaring holes in my understanding of whats going on. Hopefully someone else will start this off.

Doesn't matter.

Just post everything you know.

So we can give AC-Guy an aneurysm.
Working on it, although I'm not that fast of a typer.
F/SA, in short, is Fate/Stay Night: Hard mode, and the further /tg/ deviates from F/SN canon, the further AC-Guy deviates as well (while still playing by Nasuverse rules).

If you don't know F/SN canon, I'll leave it for someone else to explain for now.

The Quest started following canon Fate/Stay night at first, with Lancer the Gay Space Pirate attacking us in the shed, and Saber appearing to rescue us. We burnt a command seal after Lancer left immediately to stop Saber from injuring Archer, just like the Unlimited Blade Works route.

After questioning why Archer's Master, Rin, decided to visit us so late at night ("You however are a distinguished young lady. Arriving at a man’s house at this time of night.... people will talk") Rin tells us a bit about the Grail War and then guides us to the Church where Kirei infodumps us on Grail war 101.
After leaving the church, Illya shows up with Berserker, and we form an alliance with Rin to not die.

We run up to Illya and try to get her to back down, and instead almost fail a loli will save. As for the battle behind us, Archer can't hurt Berserker, and Saber is stuck defending Rin from Berserker's attacks.

So, we do the most logical thing we could do in the situation
>[x] Use trace magic to hot-wire car, reinforce frame, and then run Berserker over.
Two nat 1s later, the car explodes and we fly feet-first into Berserker, giving Archer an opportunity to Caladbolg berserker.
Illya retreats, and we pass out.
Ah yes, i had forgotten about the part where we dodge past Berserker to engage the hostile loli magus in a war of words.

I think that was when everyone realized that our official stance was "SANITY IS FOR THE WEAK".

And we've been passing the little sista will saves ever since.

It's hilarious.
>a recap of some sort
First day:
We nicknamed Lancer the Gay Space Pirate, then blew up a car so we could kick Berserker in the face.

Second day:
We realised we can't see Rin's panties, got into a psychological war against Archer, discovered that Ilya's adorable and wants to kidnap us, ate Rin's magic pill and tried to grab our Origin, then dreamed of swords.

Third day:
We saved Ayako from Shinji, found out Sakura's a master, found out that we have spooky magic, then met Merlin in our dreams.

Fourth day:
Met Gilgamesh while out "patrolling". Saved lunch from Taiga, STEALTH'd Shinji but he activated Sakura's wormyness. Got a message signed "IX" and opened comms with Caster.

Fifth day:
Met a fake Saber in the woods, got a BLACK ARM and self healed it. Learnt about Vampires and had lunch with Lancer. Projected an exploding chair and cured Sakura. Avenger turned up and seiged the church. STEALTH'd Issei at the temple, "killed" Zouken, Bullshitted Gilgamesh and went home.

Sixth day:
Zouken says the grail's fucked. We have a duel with Archer, save Rin, get a call that Ilya's under attack. Gay Bulge'd Avenger, Berserker "teleport"s(?) us home. THIS BIKE almost kills us.

Seventh day:
Call out "Lancer", meet Arcuied. Chat with Gil while shopping and bring home a puppy. Arcuied is our trollmate.
Head to Ilya's mansion, get Broserker killed.

Eighth day:
Figure out how to cure Souichibro, get shot by Shinji, free Satsuki and the vampire. Vamp kidnaps Taiga, we bloodhound her panties and fuck his shit up. Oh, and meet Bazett.
Learn how to STEALTH with a box. Saber snaps our spine, but we're alright.

Ninth day:
We make out with Rider, we make out with Rin, take Saber on a date, learn about Merlin some more. The tofu tastes like pain.
Zouken takes over the church. Kirei's now dead.
Find out we're not Shirou, Rider kills us. STEALTH out of Zouken's basement.
Time for some R&R, but Sakura goes walkies and Avenger gives an unwanted call.
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Alright, thread over. Archive and done.

See y'all next week!
Thanks for the general overview in the meantime. This is going to take me awhile to go over more of the details.

We wake up the next day to Archer starting psycological warfare on us ("You are now aware of the fact that despite her short skirt, running around and bursts of wind from Berserker and Saber, you've never seen Rin's panties.")

Archer gets us to make breakfast for everyone, and we spar with him afterwards to try to learn his moves. After kicking our ass, he tells us we're late for school, only for Rin to mention there's still 10 minutes before we'd have to leave.
That bastard.

At school we feel the bounded field that a Servant set up, and lock the Issei route by mentioning that there was a lady waiting for us on the rooftop. Rin fills us in in the bounded field, and when Rin mentions that she doesn't have a cell phone, we decide to ditch the rest of the day and go shopping for a cell phone.

On our way out, Souichirou doesn't notice Rin and stops us, demanding to know why we're skipping class. Thinking quickly, we blurt the first thing to come to mind.
>Romantic escapade.
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>We make out with Rider, we make out with Rin, take Saber on a date

Smitin' liches and fuckin' bitches.
But we still haven't discussed any theories yet!
Mysteries to solve:

Who are the vampires?
We killed a weak one, Zouken's not a real one, Avenger or the Shadow might appear to be one to Arcuied, Rider's legend is one(?). Are we missing any?

What the hell are the runes, and what is Avenger up to?

What is Shirou? Apart from a sword. Why are we reading as if we're out in the woods?

Where is Avalon?

What the hell is Merlin doing?

What's up with our memories of the end of the last Grail War?

And why is Shirou allergic to people caring about him?

And ignore worm slut

>And why is Shirou allergic to people caring about him?

F/A Carnival Phantasm says yes. Word of AC-Guy.
>Thanks for the general overview
Yeah, I fully intended that as a "Hey, you guys remember the crazy shit we pulled?" As opposed to an actual recap.
>Rider's legend is one(?)
What? Stehno and Euryale are running about?
We seem to do an inordinate amount of STEALTHing
>AC-Guy @ArmoredQuest 33s
>Install faster, chrome.

>Not using chrome
>Year of revengeance two zero one three
Oh, my post wasn't sarcastic, I actually meant that.
I won't be done for a LONG time, and a general overview in the meantime is nice.

Surprisingly, Sourchirou lets us go, and we meet up with Rin and get her a Cell in the Mall.

While we're at the mall, we meet up with Illya, who tries to convince us to abandon the HGW by... making us buy her icecream, and drugging our bowl.
Two nat 20 saves against loli later, Illya leaves, and Rin meets back up with us. We stay at the mall and find Illya with... Lancer?

Archer tails Illya and Lancer when they leave, and when he meets up with us later, he tells us that Lancer pulled out Fragarach on him.

The box is an awesome box.
Don't forget that Ilya tried to have one of her maids bludgeon us with a handbag after her drugs and spooky hypno-magic failed.

We just evaded and laughed at her.
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We need to refit it to fire grenades.

Ah recap thread, a chance to look back realize how much worse things could have gone
>As I start to go down the stairs, I hear someone say "Oh no, let go of my purse." What's weird is that someone just says it, in a calm monotone. Directly behind me.

>I'm not sure if I'm more disappointed in Ilya for coming up with these traps, or myself for walking into them.

I actually had forgotten that.
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Shirou is allergic to sympathy.

AC-Guy is allergic to bad MSPaint edits.
At some point, we at least figured out that this was Cain disguised as Lancer. At least I'm thankful he wasn't in Warp Spasm mode at the time, in hindsight.
Waitaminute, Cain!Lancer showed Archer Fragarach. Archer showed us his UBW. Does this mean we have Fragarach stored? Nice.

Bad anon.

No killing Quest Masters.
Back home, we spar with Saber for a bit, and learn that she wants to use the Grail to fix a mistake that she made in the past.

After sparing, Rin tries teaching us magecraft. When we used our nerves to do so, she tried forcibly turn our circuits on by having us swallow a jewel laced with her mana.
In hindsight, having us eat non-sword magic was the height of folly, and it took projecting our origin to fix what Rin accidentally fucked up.
Fucking magecraft, how does it work?

We wake up hours later, and Taiga tells us that we had a seizure, and confronts us for the Romantic Escapade.

We talk to Archer a bit later about magic, after which her reminds us that we "...Have four vaguely clingy emotionally unstable girls who care for you in different ways and have wildly conflicting personalities staying in one room. A violent mix of hormones and emotions staying... Three doors that way. And they're going to be talking about you. All. Night. Long. Have fun sleeping."
We have Fragarach, but it's only really of any use to counter an enemy's ultimate attack. So it's kinda useless in anything that isn't a straight fight.
Okay I used to follow this quest but irl is a bitch so I stopped, one thing I need to know is what the fuck shirou is, is he the original a copy or a mix between avenger and shirou that got split into two or what.

We wish we knew that as well. Its one of the biggest mysteries at the moment.
We could casually show it to Bazett. Her reaction alone would be worth it.
We don't know for sure yet.
He COULD be a Demon, maybe, but we don't know.
Frankly, it's amazing how much you guys guess right only to have the suggestion written off as too crazy/not crazy enough.

[revving intensifies]
see >>25371027
>What is Shirou? Apart from a sword.
Pretty much only AC-Guy knows.
>Archer's skirt troll
That was clever, we should probably congratulate him on it some time.

It also got Berserker killed
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>My players aren't being stupid enough for my tastes
>HAHA, time to drop hints that their retarded ideas are correct, and that they should trust them more

I'm on to you AC-Guy.
>Us looking at Rin's skirt got Berserker killed
Yeah. Congratulate. That's the word I'd use...

I still support this theory most strongly. The one mass-mix plan of us being wished into existence by the Fourth Grail was cool too.

Seriously, it happens at least once per thread.

I mean, it's not always something big/important, but it happens pretty much constantly.


What's funny is that other than the Alternate Berserker, that was the only real contribution I made before taking over.

Made an off joke over Skype and it goes right in the OP.

>I'm on to you AC-Guy.

Or are you? Perhaps I'm maneuvering you into suspecting me so that you won't go off the rails and my plot twists will catch you by surprise.


I'm still surprised at how badly that snowballed.
To be fair, Archer couldn't have known we'd let it distract us in a situation like that.

If we had raised the issue with rin during that scene with issei, the distraction wouldnt be there.
Oh please, Merlin already told us what we are.
We're the result of a sword giving live birth, which would make us a bastard sword.

We get our revenge on Archer the next morning, when he helps us make breakfast, and then we take all the credit when we mention no one will believe that he helped us.

We head to school the next day to (sort of) fill Souichibro in on why we really left yesterday, and he had our punishment retroactively signed off.

We call Raiga on the way home to see if or father left us anything, and Raiga told us our father left a locker somewhere, and Raiga promised to call us back in a day or two on anything he could tell us on where it is.

We spar with Saber for a bit, and start using reinforcement magic. Afterwards we scout Miyama with Rin, and stop Shinji from raping Ayako. We also slap Shinji's shit, although Rider says "you hit like a prince's pleasure bitch."

Rider and Shinji get away, and Rin mind-wipes Ayako, and we take her to her home and cook dinner for Ayako's mother while we're there.
You're in the wrong quest!
Go back to Gundam AGE and drive THEM to murder with your puns!
Actually, Archer's own words were that he was pointing the skirt out to us in the hopes that in the middle of combat, we'd look at her skirt and trip.
And we did.
The only thing Archer didn't see coming is that Broserker would be willing to die in our stead.

Considering we've all but locked the ayako route, what would hers have been?
Forgot to mention Rider let it slip that Sakura loves us.
Yeah, kind of important.

ANYWAY, at home we fill Rin on everything Shinji's pulled, Archer suggests killing Sakura for possibly being Rider's Master, and everyone flips out on him.
>"She's my s- friend!" Rin yells.
>"She loves me!" I let out subconsciously.
>"She cooks!" Saber adds, a note of concern in her voice.

Archer storms out because we're "Building the Ginger a Harem" instead of fighting a war.

Rin says to us "Don't be reading too much into Archer's comments just yet. I certainly don't hate you, and we're on friendly terms, but-"
>[ ] - anything resembling romance can wait.
>[ ] - you don't like me like that.
>>>>>[X] Blank, uncomprehending stare.

Which leads to Rin admitting she loves us.
>Wise up!
>Shirou: Skills
>The Harem Must Grow, A rank
Which thread was this? After I joined I went back to read the first dozen, but that doesn't ring a bell

Shirou, Explain Further.jpg is such a classic
Thread 4.
I'm flipping through the Ebook to try and find relevant parts, currently I'm only 65 pages through it out of 392.
Later on that day, we put on our father's coat to the school to check out the bounded field. Saber looks distracted, and she tells us her previous Master was our father, Kiritsugu.

Once we arrive at the school, Archer does a sweep of the grounds, and we start taking down the bounded field.
Caster attacks us part way, thinking we were the ones who set it up. After telling her we didn't she offers to destroy it now that we've weakened it.
We haggle like a boss and Caster tells us she can sever connections and contracts, and will tell us what she gets from the bounded field in exchange for a 2 hour cease-fire.

Turns out the bounded field would eat everyone in the school, and Shinji and Rider set it up (What a surprise.) Rin comes up with a plan to check Sakura for command seals, but we veto it.
We go to bed that night and...
We are in a field, talking to a Wizard.
A Wizard who can't give straight answers, and confuses the fuck out of us.
When Rin attempted to wake us up, Merlin snaps and calls her a Harlot, which causes us to punch Merlin and exit the dream.
We wake up with Saber and Rin looking over us, telling us we just punched Archer.

Archer storms out after we say he probably deserved it, and we apologize to him and tell him about the dream. Neither him, nor Rin or Saber knew what the fuck the Wizard was on about.
We talk to saber a bit about Kiritsugu before we go to bed, and we wake up to Sakura making breakfast. We talk to her a bit about Shinji, and after everyone else leaves the room, we convince Sakura to tell us what's going on. And then Arhcer appears outside.

>He mimes giving her a hug. As I slowly draw her in he nods and gives me a thumbs up. As Sakura returns it, I can feel some sort of tension draining away from inside her.
>Archer takes the opportunity to nod approvingly, then makes a little ring with his index finger and thumb, before rapidly making in and out motions with his other hand. I make a gesture that tells him what he can do with his idea, and he shrugs as if to say 'I tried to help' before vanishing from sight.

After a moment Sakura tells us that she is Rider's Master, and Shinji fights instead. After Sakura gets up to make some tea, Archer appears again, asking how it went.

>I wait for Sakura to start walking to the kitchen to get some more tea, then I quickly give Archer a double thumbs-up, Eye eyebrow waggle, and a the rapid in-out motion he did earlier before walking with Sakura into the Kitchen.
>The effect is immediate and gratifying. Archer's eyes go wide, and he does a double take. Hand signals asking for confirmation and clarification are promptly at swiftly ignored as I walk away. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see the little gears that turn in his mind grind to a sudden and violent halt.

We all want archer back but we must wait for the war to end first. Things are just to fucked to mess with bringing him back to the fold right now.
Oh right, they know about the dream wizard. Did they just brush it off as crazy Shirou?

and yes. Introduce Heroic Spirit Emiya and tell the group it was Merlin. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG
>Only 300+ pages to go...
>Someone want to take over for a bit? We're right at the start of the 7th Verse as of this post.
We tell Rin we're ready to practice magic again, and every step Rin takes is filled with murderous intent.
Archer, the dick, told Rin that we slept with Sakura. After telling Rin that we didn't magic lessons continue as planned, and we start projecting Noble Phantasms, starting with Archer's swords, then Berserker's. While swinging it around, we accidentally make a mess on Rin's bed with her Alchemy set, and we clean up afterwards.

>Oh god I'm going to fuck this up so hard
Rolled 3


You most likely are.
Hey guys, looks like a cool thread. Time for mad theories? Because I think it's time for mad theories.

Let's start with the easy stuff:

>Shirou made a wish on the Grail "to live". This resulted in him becoming a lesser Grail vessel/the model for Avenger.
This is a very plausible possibility, explaining the disappearance of the Grail shards that should have gone into Sakura, the connection to Avenger and why Shirou's magic is so different. What it does not explain is the many suggestions we've had that the change was intentional since the Grail is not sentient as such.

>Avenger is Shirou.
A particularly interesting theory with two variations. First, that Avenger and Shirou are two parts of the same person split apart at some point in the past. This would explain why Avalon is "shared" between the two, and why the two can sense each other.

The variation on the theory is that Avenger is "Shirou", or the person who would have been found by Emiya Kiritsugu and grow up to be Emiya Shirou. In this variation we are Avenger's literal brother, though younger or older is unknown.

>Avenger is repeating the war like Archer.
Avenger mentions wanting a "better ending" for himself, and he's quite familiar with Shirou's capabilities, potential, relationships current and past and likely reactions.

That's off the top of my head, anyone care to add to these?

/tg/ dice would agree. Add any modifiers, a circumstance bonus and a 2pt misc bonus from Nubum's aid another.
>>Oh god I'm going to fuck this up so hard
You mean I didn't fuck it up?
Holy shit, I didn't fuck it up!?
I'm not being patronizing, I honestly thought I was fucking it up too. Completely unrelated to why I'm taking a break, I'm waiting for the Excedrin Migraine to kick in so my head stops throbbing.

Yeah, recap threads do that to me too.

I'll take over for a little bit when he's tired of it if you're not up to it yet.
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Rolled 15

You have low expectations! You have low expectations!
Everybody has low expectations!
>not going for avenger is alternate reality archer of this particular version of shirou
think about it, he more or less knows all we do, and is trying to make us do better overall, but he still wants everything to go his way and he wants to screw everything over as well.
he also seems to know exactly what in the fuck is going on at all times, and even acts a shitload like this particular shirou. perhaps we somehow fuck up so hard as to be cursed as the evils of all the world somehow?
Howabout non-Shirou madness?
I really don't think he's dead. Worst case scenario would be that Zouken has allied with him and used the command seals to buff up assassin.
>a robed man, demanding payment for saving him
Most likely Avenger, but he doesn't seem to be the kid killing type. I also wonder what happened to those orphans sent to Tokyo.
O-ok, h-here I go!

We decide to go out on patrol after helping Rin clean up. We take Sakura with us, and head towards the harbor.

On our way, we see Gilgamesh (who Saber identifies as the previous Archer at this point) heading in the mall, so we decide to investigate. Turns out he's just shopping for a new skateboard, and while we engage in evasive maneuvers to avoid being noticed we bump into Ilya again, who promptly demands ice cream.

Thankfully Ilya decides against attempting to kidnap us this time, and joins us on our little trip. After walking around for a while we end up at the beach, and generally just have a pleasant time, although everyone is quite confused about the fact that a loli wizard has become inexplicably attached to us.

On our way home Taiga gives us a call, informing us that she has taken the liberty of starting dinner since we weren't home. UH OH. SHIROU, ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO SAVE DINNER?

A nat20 "Run faster" and a nat20 "save dinner" check later, we manage to save the house from burning down and make a decent meal. After dinner Taiga berates us over our obvious harem, and we deflect with the trademark "You've lost me" reaction. She then expresses worry about how we've been acting over the last few days, and we give her the censored version of whats been going on.
I was just reading the Insane Theory pastebin v2. If this proves to be true, Nubum's comment about Avenger's gift being the Tohno gland just doubled the hilarity for me.
I's more eye strain and putting the laptop in a place where I'm always craning my neck more than having to recap. Fixing that now, so I should be fine. I'll take over again at the tenth verse or so. I should be able to type a bit up ahead of time that way.
do you have links for the insane theory pastebins?
First reply in the thread.
i'm not the brightest of people.
thank you though.

How the shit did I overlook that.
Possibly because I started the post with the usual Ebook reminder.

An indicator of how many people use it.
Hoo~ Are we gonna get an AC-Guy commentary track version soon?
Mediafire and 4shared already tell me that. I already know not many download it now that the link are in a pastebin instead of thrown up here every thread.
>Taiga: "You've almost managed to unintentionally build yourself a harem?"
>Shirou: "If there was a multiple romance thing going on, it would be a time-share, since the term 'Harem' implies I would have any degree of control."
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After a rather embarrassing sparring session with Saber, we decide to make a move and go after Rider. Sakura tells us about how Shinji is controlling Rider with a book, and points us in the right direction. Our search leads us to the same mall we met Ilya in earlier, and we send in Rin and Saber to confront him and assess the situation.

Shinji springs his trap, and activates Rider's bounded field. Turns out the little fucker is holding hostages.

As Rin and Saber engage Shinji and Rider, we sneak around the back to rescue the hostages, while Sakura and Archer stand by. We see a chance to sucker-punch him, and we take it, beating his ass quite thoroughly in addition to destroying his control book.

Realizing he's outgunned now that Rider has reverted to Sakura's control, Shinji agrees to withdraw peacefully, but not before activating Sakura's Crest Worm, which causes her to collapse. We all rush to the Church in the hope that Kirei can save Sakura.

After Kirei examines her, he gives us two disturbing facts: Sakura is basically fucked since he doesn't think he can remove it as its magically bound to her, and she was probably raped at some point.

After comforting Rin and adding to our mounting pile of Rin Points, we pay a visit to Caster in the hope that we can convince her to help us heal Sakura. Assassin is guarding the gate, and agrees to pass on a message to Caster for us.

On the way back we talk to Saber and find out more about Gilgamesh and her history. We also get a phone call from Shinji, the little shit is feeling bad about being a dick so he tells us whats wrong with Sakura: the Crest Worm is killing her, and allows Zouken to control her.
We head back to the Church, comfort Sakura a bit, and put our heads together to begin planning how to ruin Zouken's day.

>This is harder than I thought, especially since I've entirely forgotten what happens when so I'm having to speed-read everything. Someone else take over.

Done. Where was this at exactly? I'll go until ten or whatever.
You're not the only one speedreading and trying to do this.

Unless anyoen else wants to take a stab at it, >>25372233 AC-guy has volunteered to continue the recap.
I'll take over again at the 10th verse.
Thats the end of Chapter 8.

I want to point out a minor detail here.

For reasons I'm sure we had but I forgot, we were patrolling with Archer rather than Saber when we stopped Shinji from raping Ayako. So when it came time to attack him later on with Rin, we had Rin go in with Saber while we snuck around for the hostages. If Rin went in with Archer, Shinji would have reasonably been able to conclude that Rin and us were in cahoots and therefore we were probably there as well.
Also anyone got last thread archived or some such somewhere. It was deleted unexpectedly and therefore is not on suptg
>End of Chapter 8

Jesus christ this is going to take a week.
It's on Foolz, http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25293072/

AC-Guy, are you going to repost the deleted posts in the next thread so they'll be on sup/tg/, or will you just link to Foolz next thread.

That was my thought when I was starting to recap. If we have multiple peopel doing multiple parts it'll go faster.

Anyone want to do some of the chapters after 13? I'm doing 10-13 right now.
Right, so at the top of the Ninth thread, a war council to deal with Zouken is called, and Issei is labeled a suspect as a master by the rest of the team.

Rin suddenly starts losing familiars and it's deemed worth investigating.

A corrupted familiar is discovered, which ends up leaving a message signed by someone going by 'IX'. /tg/ assumes Vampires and werewolves, but paranoia is dropped in favor of getting sleep. Sleep which is immediately interrupted by Caster making a phone-call to ask about the message Assassin passed onto her.

They quickly work out a deal for an intelligence/favor exchange on neutral ground, Taiga's mildly brought up to speed with a censored version of events while a late breakfast is cooked the following morning. When she hears Sakura's been abused to some degree, she offers to have Raiga 'solve' the problem. The offer was declined with zero evaluation needed.

Shirou also makes a token effort to pretend he still cares about his education in light of current events. Archer and Shirou bicker briefly, and then Shirou gets confronted by Ayako about his reckless altruism.

After her arriving to give a fuck about his well-being, Shirou leaves to gossip with Issei while waiting for school to start. After he finds out that Rin, his apparent Nemesis, is Shirou's sudden 'love interest' he flips his shit. He has his mind further blown when Shirou calmly talks to the local mob-boss and then decides to straight up tell him that he's a Wizard.
>This is where I pick up then.

We reveal to Issei that yes, We are a Wizard and ask him if there's anything odd at his home. Before he answers another student interrupts us and tells us about Vandalism on the archery range. Said Vandalism tuns out to be a half-made magic circle that was burnt into the pavement and wall.

We call Rin, waking her up and send her pictures of the circle. Rin says it looks like someone was copying someone else's technique, like a pupil would copy their master. Rin falls back asleep after that and we go after whatever made the circle.

We are ambushed by Diarmuid Alter, and we end up having out arm grazed by his spear. Diarmuid Alter leaves once "Saber" runs up to us. We Call, and wake, Rin again, asking if she sent Saber to help us.

>"Saber with you?"
>"Eh? Yeah." I hear her open a door. "Yeah, she's watching TV."
>The Girl in front of me growls and her eyes turn red. "Be a dear and send her along, will you? I appear to be in mortal Danger."

We hold off "Saber" until she realizes she mixed us up with Shinji, and "Saber" tells us that there was a disruption in the Holy Grail Ritual a few nights ago., specifically a taint emerging from the grail.
"Saber" Runs off and the real Saber appears, asking us what happened to our now black arm that Diarmuid Alter grazed. We head off to the church to deal with it when we bump into Illya. We fill Illya in on what happened, and she sucks the black goop out of us, which Illya described as "Solid despair"

Illya said that she just removed the taint, and that we did the rest of the healing on our own, even though we don't have any healing magic that we know of.

We reward Illya by heading to Ramen bar, but Rin calls us first. We tell her we're okay and ask what a Dead Apostle is, and Illya tells us to head to the church NOW.

Back at the church we infodump Kirei on what happened, and understand nothing of his explanation.

We chat with Rin to see how she's holding up, an then talk to Saber bout her sheath. We switch to Illya and her help, which boils down to forcing Sakura to stay alive during the surgery.

We check on Sakura ourselves, and she talks about her dream to watch the cherry blossoms with us. We then tell her about how everyone is trying to help her, and Illya's help we can keep her alive. Sahura asks if afterwards she could watch the cherry blossoms with us, and we tell her we can watch them with everyone. Sakura says that she'll have to endure Illya's help, and Kirei puts Sakura back to sleep for now.
Shit, I miscalculated how long this would take.
If we want this to go faster, someone else do 13. I haven't posted all of 11 or 12 yet though, so there's time.

I wonder what would have happened if we decided to go full Mind of Steel here.
so i'm looking back at earlier thread trying to figure out what in the shit is the deal with assassin.

hes someone with immense power because of shit he says, and the way he acts. this means he is exceptionally famous in some way shape or form, but none of us are connecting the dots.

he is older and exceptionally wise for a murderer. what comes to mind when i say this is how people talked earlier how he seems to be just doing the motions of his youth and is doing literally everything from muscle memory.

he also can fake bodies by nature of when we got hijacked and kidnapped. what this means is he has been known to masquerade in his legend as someone else and he got caught but can escape death with not a single fuck given.

i honestly think if we throw all this together we could probably figure out who in the shit assassin is.
Is he a Hassan or someone else?

Also have we ever seen any weapons?
Goddamnit, it's Cain again isn't it?
believe i remember him having 2 knives.
not sure though, i'm gonna go squirrel back to the archives and see what i can dredge up.
Well first off it would start a brawl in the middle of the church since Rider would try to kill us, Saber would be wondering what the fuck is wrong with us, and Archer would probably use it as an excuse to murder us.
honestly i could see it.
>gets 30,000 ways of fucked up earlier and cut off connection with illya
>murderhobos assassin
>zouken at this point doesn't know better and cain steals his contract somehow
it would be hilarious.
We kill two hours learning about Dead Apostles from Kirei, and then go to the Ramen Bar with Illya, Rin, and Saber while Archer scouts the Matou manor.

On the way, we ask Illya why she was with Lancer at the mall, and she tells us it was Berserker and that she hasn't even met this war's Lancer yet.

Said Gay space Pirate is already there at the bar, and after a bit of banter we ask him for help healing Sakura. He agrees, and bolts when we mention that she's in Kirei's care.

After Lancer bolts, we head to the docks and look for our Father's locker. When we tell Illya that Kiritsugu is really dead, she leaves us and goes back to her Castle.

When we arrive and realize we don't knwo where the fuck the locker is, we call Raiga for aid. Calling Raiga yeilds nothing, and we find it after a bit of spooky magic. Inside the locker we find guns, bombs, money, and "Becoming a Hero for Dummies" guide written by Kiritsugu.

Everyone grabs a bag and prepares to leave when Archer arrives

>"And I.. uh... alright, what exactly did I miss?"
>"We'll explain on the go. Grab a bag and let's go to my house."
>"This isn't exactly subtle clothing for this era."
>"Wear a coat," I respond with a gesture to one of the boxes of spare clothing left behind. >"Grab a bag."
>"No really, what the hell."
>I calmly turn to face him. "This is how it works: you can either carry a bag, or get in the bag. Stop asking about things that aren't related to the bag."

Rider then calls us, complaining about a "Grabby Asshole," and we tell Rider that he's trustworthy.
if thats the case we at least know where bahzahkah went too.
question is where did the original assassin go then?
*that Lancer's Trustworthy

>was earth
No Captcha, that was Lancer, not Archtype EARTH.
>Hassan with 4th War Assassin abilities
>Can also devours other Servants
>Absorbs Cain's disguise abilities
>Split off one personality+disguise

Still no idea about his NP ingame.

Cain is a 'special' case. There can't be more than one of him at a time.

He does qualify for Assassin (And Caster), but he's locked a Berserker here. Berserker class servants, Cain or otherwise, are not particularly subtle.
Samefag here with alternate theory.
Zouken buffed TA via Command Seals poached from a dead Kirei.
So what? Fate/Strange fake shenanigans?
Hmmm... Broken Phantasm Arm of Shayṭān?
Nahh, then he wouldn't have an arm.

>Is anyone doing chapters 13+ by the way? Almost done with 12.

No but Seals can be harvested and spent as Magical energy.

Might be possible if they salvaged body parts from Kirei
We store everything in the shed for now, and start planning on convincing Caster to help.

Saber brings up Rider and what would happen to her during the procedure, and how she might be killed, makign her uncooperative with the procedure. Archer suggests that Rin can take Rider temporarrly, and Caster can Sever Archer's contract.

For now Archer investigates Diarmuid Alter, and we train Projection with Rin. We project Archer's swords and have them last for about an hour, them move onto projecting Berserker's sword, a Katana in a museum, and random knives. We don't feel any strain until about a dozen blades were projected, and then Rin asks us if we can project a chair.
Easy enoug--
>Rolled 1

>It's there. The chair exists. But then I feel a sharp pain in my head. I haven't even begun to project it yet, but I can somehow already see the chair breaking, cracks all over its surface.
>All the way into the soul of the chair.
>This Chair. I can project it, but it's clearly not something I'm supposed to do.
>This Chair. I start to cock the hammer back. I release the hammer, and I feel it.
>A knife. A knife hits the chair, and the chair in my mind explodes.

Rin flips out on us, we fail to explain why it exploded other than "Someone stabbed it in it's explody-bit mid-prjection"

Why Rin tried to understand, the doorbell rings and we let Ayako in. We warn her about everyone else in the house as she takes over the kitchen. Ayako hits what would be every normal person's emotional landmines in the span of two and a half minutes on accident.

Once Rin and Saber enter the kitchen and distract Ayako by talking about our "problem" we steal the kitchen back, only for Ayako to take it over again a moment later. When Rin asks about the selflessness thing we storm out of the house, puke in a bush on our walk due to sympathy overload, and meet a chatty stranger on a bench.

We talk about our girl problems and how we're apparently too selfless for our own good, and the stranger says that he would kill for our problems. And... well...

>"But you wouldn't, would you?" He says, standing up. As he does so, I get a better look at him. Some sort of bandages on his face, some sort of weird tribal tattoos under his coat. "Man, I'd kill for your problems. But I suppose that's part of what it means to be the designated villain of the story."
>".... Do I know you?"
>"We met in passing, about ten years ago." He answers with a smile. "Call me Avenger."
>"Avenger?" I feel a spike of pain. My world blurs for an instant. "Who-"
>"Oh, so he put a memory block to try and keep you from being too preoccupied with tragedy. Whole mess of good that did for you." He lets out a sigh. "and here I was wondering why you didn't seem surprised during the graveyard event."
>"Oh right, that hasn't happened to you yet. Don't mind me, just being all non-linear." he shakes his head. "I feel like I need to thank you for this though. I was hoping we'd have a chance to speak before the end." He leans in as though examining something about me. "So that's it then? You've somehow managed to trigger the link he set within Avalon? Meddling god-damned wizard. Oh well, I suppose I can't complain if he's helping me along this much."

>one or two more posts, then whoever's doing 13+ can post.
I'm not just talking to myself about splitting up the work, am I?
If nobody else is doing 13/14, I guess i'll start on them.
O Shit our assassin is hassan el sabat The hassen I.e. the first grandmaster whom all the others based their skills off of
We're utterly baffled by what Avenger means, and Avenger simply says the outcome was decided in the begining, and that we'd either become a hero, or he'll fuffil his purpose.

The last bit of advice he gives is that we shouldn't get worked up about others caring about us so much. He then mentions that he'll need his gift back soon.

We sit on the bench for a few more minutes in confusion before Taiga shows up. We walk to the church with her, and Taiga asks why Rin called her, asking if she's seen us. We explain about us storming out and our "supposed" Martydom issues that, almost literally everyone, says we have.

>"Yeah, my grandfather's fond of a saying he found overseas. If one person calls you an ass, ignore them. If two say it, wonder. If three-"
>"Yeah, I think I know how this goes."

When we arrive home, we listen in and hear Saber, Rin, and Ayako talking about how we stormed out and how much the topic botherd us. During the conversation Rin mentions her one of a kind pendant that she "almost" lost and managed to retrieve.

When we return to the kitchen we apologize for storming out, and mention we'll try to look into our martydom, which gets a collection of sighs.

Afterwards we return Rin's Amulet to her, thuroughly confusing Rin as to how there could be two amulets.

>As of now, we've done everything up to thread 12.
Hold on.
Hang on a minute...
How could there be two amulets in F/SA? Archer has been confirmed to of come from the UBW route. In UBW Shirou returned the amulet to Rin, so Shirou/Archer couldn't of carried it with him throughout his life, meaning it couldn't hafe been able to act as the catylst that allows Rin to summon him!
...Or Rin could have just given the extra amulet to Shirou in UBW, but that's too easy.
>And thats my cue!
>Chapter 13!

We talk to Saber and find out about Avalon (though not where the damn thing is), she rants about FUCKING MERLIN a bit, we discuss how Avenger might be a Servant, and find out her true identity. We also bring up the possibility of her remaining after the War, but she denies it as 101% no way impossible.

Later we load up and head out to the Church, where we are meeting Caster/Lancer/Ilya and hopefully healing Sakura. We play Musical Servants with Rule Breaker in preparation for the surgery, with Archer being cut loose so that Rin can support Rider until Sakura can take her back. Archer goes for a "walk", and we wait for the surgery to be done.

Two hours later, good news! The surgery was a success, and Sakura is going to be fine! Unfortunately before we can even begin planning her welcome home party, Archer busts through the front door, declares that he is FUCKING EVERYTHING, and tags a very surprised Saber with a hit from Rule Breaker and knocks her senseless.

Caster bursts in and yell at him that "this was not the plan" Archer? Betray us? Who would have guessed?. He replies that neither was him nuking the Matou house from orbit, killing Assassin, and wounding Souichiro, so Caster nabs poor Saber and uses spooky magics to teleport away to save her husbando.

We tangle with Archer for a bit, until Rider catches him with her chain and pummels his ass. Before we can catch our breath, Avenger and Gilgamesh show up to further complicate matters.

So its Us, Rin, Ilya, Lancer, and Berserker, starring down Archer, Gil, and Avenger. The situation seems grim, until /tg/ comes up with a retardedly brilliant plan...
When was it confirmed Archer was the Shirou from UBW? I do not recall this either in Nasuverse canon or in any of the threads.
>couldn't hafe
God damn I need some sleep. I'll continue the recap tomorrow from wherever we leave off at 8-10 hours from now.
It was in AC-Guy's comments to the furst insane pastebin: http://pastebin.com/BwhREMG6

Part in question:
>Eighteenth Verse-1

>{Confronting Heroic Spirit EMIYA}
>>Of course, when I was you, we did this next to Ilya's grave in the hollowed remains of her mansion."

>Archer is from UBW route here, or some morbid Ilya route where she dies half way through.

>[That's been pretty obvious I thought. It'd be more accurate to say that this Archer's past most resembles UBW because of the high level of accumulated Rin-Points.]

In Nasuverse canon, he's from no route presented in the game.

In these threads, I am less sure.
Fine then.
>Most resembles

Then it was UBW except Shirou kept the pendant. Problem solved.
Okay, yeah, If I can't even spell "first" I'm going to bed right now.
>"Hey, Archer!" I yell at the man on the roof.
>"Yes, Master of Saber?"
>"Saber just got nabbed by Caster. She's in danger!"
>"Where!?" He yells, violently pissed.
>"Temple!" I say while pointing, and he leaps from the roof, summoning a Gold and Red Ducati motorcycle from a shimmering ring in front of himself. He mounts it and starts it before it even hits the ground, racing off into the night.
>Avenger starts laughing hysterically from his perch. "Oh WOW. I must say, bra-VO. I didn't expect you to dispatch him on an errand like that.

We dispatch Gil by using his infatuation with Saber to our advantage, and send him off to the other side of the city.

Avenger introduces himself to the room at large, and decides to murder Taiga for some reason and summons spooky shadow wolves to attack her.

Of course we are having none of his bullshit, so we kill the wolves then hit him full in the chest with a Broken Phantasm'd K&B, much to his surprise.

Unfortunately, he was just acting as a distraction so Archer could kidnap Rin. He challenges us to a 1v1, no items, Fox only, Final Destination death match in 24 hours at a place of his choosing, and Avenger summons more spooky Alter servants (Bluebeard, Diarmuid, and probably Lancelot) to cover Archer's escape.

>"Oh, and Shirou? I'll be needing my gift back after your business with Archer is concluded."

He also says that, whatever the flying fuck that means.

Ilya tells us to run, while Berserker shape-shifts into MOTHERFUCKING LU BU and charges the three.

>end Chapter 13, 14 incoming
>Start chapter 14

Berserker fights for a bit until Avenger tells him that nobody will be harmed if we don't try to leave the church, apparently he's trying to buy time for Archer.

We explain to Taiga (who is very, VERY confused by this point) that we are in fact a wizard, and are involved in a no-holds-barred wizard death match to decide ownership of the Holy Grail, in which we use the souls of ancient heroes to fight for us. All in all, she takes the news rather well.

We decide to attempt a rescue on Saber, and team up with Rider to break out of Avenger's trap using the power of GOTTA GO FAST, while Berserker and Lancer hold the line at the church.

We reach the temple, and immediately feel that something is "off" about the area, and its eerily quiet. With no better ideas, we settle for loudly declaring our presence and seeing who responds. We get ambushed by True Assassin and Zouken, and have to protect Rider by throwing ourselves in front of the knife. After taking a few knives to various non-vital parts of our body, all while trading sexual innuendo with Rider, Zouken reveals himself and wants to negotiate.

We, of course, respond in the only logical manner. With appalling violence. We obliterate him with a pair of Broken Phantasms while Rider fends off Assassin.

After the battle, Rider is worried that we might have been poisoned by Assassin's knives, and offers to suck our blood to get the poison out, a little too enthusiastically for our liking.

We buy time by throwing out more innuendo, which leads to her admitting two rather interesting things: 1) that she would totally fuck Sakura, and 2) that she is totally willing to have a relationship with us if we prove we're worth it.


She then sucks our blood, making absolutely no attempt to avoid being as sexy as possible. At the end of it, it turns out there wasn't any poison to begin with. Big surprise...
>"Oh, so he put a memory block to try and keep you from being too preoccupied with tragedy. Whole mess of good that did for you." He lets out a sigh. "and here I was wondering why you didn't seem surprised during the graveyard event."
>"Oh right, that hasn't happened to you yet. Don't mind me, just being all non-linear." he shakes his head. "I feel like I need to thank you for this though. I was hoping we'd have a chance to speak before the end." He leans in as though examining something about me. "So that's it then? You've somehow managed to trigger the link he set within Avalon? Meddling god-damned wizard. Oh well, I suppose I can't complain if he's helping me along this much."

So, was Merlin or Kiritsugu the one that putted the Memory black? Did the Graveyard event happen yet? And what's this : "You've somehow managed to trigger the link he set within Avalon? Meddling god-damned wizard. Oh well, I suppose I can't complain if he's helping me along this much." ?

So many goddamn questions.
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What IS interesting is that she can "taste" what someone is like through their blood, and we tasted like NOTHING. She isn't sure whether thats a bad thing or not, but its certainly strange and worrying.

We get back on track and search the temple for signs of Caster/Saber. We manage to bumble about like a retard and wake Issei while searching the residential areas, only to do a sweet stealth-backflip over his head to avoid being caught when he comes out in the hall to investigate. We then investigate the main temple where we find some blood and Souichiro's tie, and as we're getting ready to continue our search we hear the sound of a motorcycle off in the distance. Gilgamesh is on the way, but the only way we could hear the motorcycle is if he was actually trying to drive it up the temple stairs... which is exactly what he is attempting, for reasons only he can comprehend.

We try to track Souichirou with magic using his tie as a catalyst, but only succeed in overloading our sense of smell.

>End chapter 14
>I need to take a break for a few hours, if anyone wants to pick up the torch I'd be much obliged. If not I'll restart whenever I get back later today.
Bump/Temporary recap takeover.

>Chapter 15: START~ OH!

Shirou and Rider expanded their search by heading for the lake area close to the Temple. Though there were no signs of Souichirou-sensei, Shirou managed to detect something like a "magical whirlpool." It may have been the reason for why Caster had her base in the Temple. The duo move on to the residential area, but their search proved fruitless.

Meanwhile, Gilgamesh has succeeded in both driving up the Temple stairs and totaling his bike. He revels in his triumph... for a couple of seconds before he goes tumbling back down the stairs.

Pressed into desperation, Shirou falls back to his last resort. He goes to Issei's room and asks him of Souichirou's whereabouts. A point to the desired direction and a knock later, the duo come face to face with a paranoid Caster and a confused Saber. Caster slams the door on their faces fearing it is a trick courtesy of True Assassin. Shirou tries a diplomatic approach by recalling memories that the former Master and Servant shared.

>"Alright, how about that time in the dojo when you told me I was hand-" I feel a hand grab me by the shoulder and drag me roughly into the room, making me land awkwardly on the floor.

Having successfully embarrassed Saber, Shirou warns the holed up Servants of the approaching danger. That's when we learn that Souichirou-sensei has been injured and incapacitated. Caster tries to convince Shirou to have Saber form a contract with her to repel Gilgamesh, but Shirou pre-empts her with an attempt to reestablish the Servant contract with Saber. Unfortunately, nothing happens.

And that’s when Gilgamesh arrives, cussing up a storm and cleaving the bike in half.

Shirou and Saber hightail it back to Caster’s room and go with her plan: Loan Saber to her in exchange for an alliance sealed with a geas of non-aggression. The set-up may take a while, so it’s up to Shirou to distract Gilgamesh. In typical /tg/ fashion, the consensus involves bullshitting the King of Heroes.

One nat20 later, Shirou unleashes a barrage of blather sufficient enough to convince Gilgamesh that his princess is in another castle.

Once he is gone, the group moves on to Phase 2 of the plan. Using Caster’s teleportation, Shirou decides to swap places with Kirei and ensure Souichirou-sensei gets medical attention. Meanwhile, Rider is tasked with tracking Rin via their Master/Servant connection. Shirou appears in the Church just in time for Gilgamesh’s arrival.

>End Chapter 15
>Shirou unleashes a barrage of blather
Posting it for all to see

>"Eh?" He says, turning to me. Then he blinks.

>"Wait, you're Saber's Master?"

>"Yeah, Shirou." I respond, acting slightly out of breath. "Bit of a jog from here to the Church."

>"Bit of a j- How did you get here before me?" he asks, bewildered and angry.

>"I took a shortcut."

>"You.... you took.... a short-cut....." Archer repeats, slowly. "A shortcut that let you outrun a motorcycle across an entire city, in the dark, across a river, and up a mountain."

>"Yeah. It's super convenient." I respond. "Shame the only two Holy sites in town are a bit out of the way, otherwise I'd do it more often."

>Behind Archer's eyes, I can see gears grinding to a halt. "What."

>"Yeah, when you step outside the church you just kinda turn left and go."

>Archer blinks, and then begins massaging the temples on either side of his head. "Alright, I'll worry about that later. Now Peasant-"


>"-dipshit, don't care." He responds, gaze venomous. "Where's Saber?"

>"Oh, off talking to Caster."

>"You left her with her kidnapper?"

>"Yeah. Turns out I kinda misread the situation a bit." I respond with a nervous chuckle. "Whoops."

>"Define 'misread'."

>"Apparently they're talking about getting married." Archer does a visible double take. "Or one of them is, and there was something about a dress? I don't know." I shrug. "Chick stuff. And not fun chick stuff like ribbons and Unicorns, so I kinda stopped paying attention."
>"Wait, they're discussing marriage in the middle of-"

>"What happened to your bike?" I ask, feigning shock.

>"I happened to it."

>"Why? It was a nice bike."

>"It wouldn't go up a staircase." He responds, giving it an irritated glance.

>"Bikes aren't made for stairs." I respond. looking at him. "You shouldn't have broken it."

>"I don't care, I'll buy another."

>"Can I have it? I mean, if it's garbage...."

>"I don't care." He says, grabbing me by the shoulders. "Take the bike. Fuck the bike. Cease your mindless babble and tell me where Saber is!"

>".... You seem upset." I say hesitantly. His smile slowly turns into an insane grin.

>"Imagine that." A glowing ring begins to appear between us as he shoves me away. A trio of swords begin to emerge.

>"Ooooh...." I say, enraptured. "Nice. I like swords."

>"Of course you do. You'll appreciate them more in use." He comments, as they spin to face me.

>"Not sure that's the best idea."

>"Oh? And why is that?" He asks, with a mocking sneer.

>"Well, you like Saber, and you want Saber to like you.... but Saber likes me. I don't think killing someone she likes is a good way to win her heart."

>A long silence passes, and Archer seems to have a horrible revelation. "Good lord, you're not stupid at all, are you?"
>"Nah, Caster just said something about distracting you while she performed a contingency plan.

>She'll be along any second now." I respond smugly, knowing full well she isn't. "Any second...."

>A long awkward silence happens. ".... So...." Archer begins, giving me a look. "They sent you out here by yourself to distract me?"

>"Yeah, beginning to suspect that the left me here to die and teleported out."

>"Where on EARTH could they have gone to then?"

>"The Church?" I respond with a shrug. "Good ley-lines, Nice location. I mean, it even has the SHORTCUT. I'm just glad they'll be walking into enemy ground, seeing as how they don't know about Avenger."

>Roughly three seconds later, Archer runs back down the stairs, summoning some sort of giant
bird thing as he runs.

>Saber emerges with Caster, and I turn to them. "Hey, would you guys mind helping me get my new bike home?"

>I'm met by a trio of blank stares.
>Saber emerges with Caster
>I'm met by a trio of blank stares.
waaaaait a minute
Rider. Rider was there as well.
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Honest to goodness one of the fucking highlights of this quest.
Alrighty, I'm awake again, so I guess it's my turn to give it a shot now.
Verse 16
Another successful Blather check, and we convince Gil that we never left the church, because how could we outrun a motorbike across a river and up a mountain in the dark? Though there are some shapeshifters about...
Gil runs off again, and we fill in the gang on the fact that Fake Assassin's dead and Zouken's now a Master. We ask Ilya why we can't reestablish a contract with Saber, but she doens't know. Unless we don't have a soul...
Ilya body-scans us and concludes that our magic is messed up. Somebody reinvented the Mage.
>"It's like if someone tried to build a biplane, but had never seen one. And the only description for one was basically 'has a spinning prop and flies' so they end up inventing a helicopter instead."
It's the middle of the night, so we take over the church's kitchen and cook a snack for everyone. Turns out Kirei's a vegetarian, and Lancer has already checked out the kitchen before us. We banter with Lancer some more.

Calling Rin's phone, we discover she hasn't set up voicemail yet, so we phone the Emiya house and talk to Kirei who arrived with Caster and is setting up a quick base. We also clock onto the fact that Caster is in love.
A sudden thought makes us look at Berserker, and we realise his true identity as Cain, Father of Destruction. We then ask Ilya why she calls us Onii-chan, and learn about Daddy in the last war. We decide to go Little-sister route with Ilya.
We check on Taiga, and she ends up cheering us up instead. A search check reveals some creepy stuff in the basement about orphans after the fire. A robed man was demanding payment for saving Kirei and kills the children. The man declares that it's "For his brother's sake."
Avenger decides to let us go, and everyone heads home. Lancer offers his help to save Rin since his Master wants her to live.
Kirei tells us that Daddy shot him at the end of the last war, and that Gilgamesh faded away. He can't tell us more due to a geass of secrecy.
Verse 17
Either Assassin or Archer put a curse on Souichiro to put him out of action. Caster can't grasp what the nature of the curse is. We ask Caster why we can't form a contract, she suggests that we're a demon.
Lancer tells us to get some sleep, and we tell him to keep ringing Rin's phone.
Our nap is disrupted by Assassin sitting on our chest.
Assassin body-puppets us so we can talk to Zouken. He sets up a duel in a warehouse between us and Archer. Zouken wants to secure the grail, saying that the past fragments were pale and lifeless "but then suddenly they took shape and left me behind." He believes the grail is growing sentient.
Saber walks in and interrupts the conversation to ask about what we think of her rule. We tell her to stop trying to undo stuff, then try to sleep again and fail.
When we wake up, Rider tells us where Archer wants the duel, and we tell her we spoke to Zouken. And that she may have eaten our soul. Rider points out we now have a harem of six. Mental image of circling sharks.
We plan to rescue Rin by beating Archer, everyone thinks we're crazy, and Ayako arrives at our door. At the same time, we get the call for the duel so we have to skip Ayako's attempts at looking after us to go and almost die again. Ayako's memory wipe wears off.
Verse 18
Talking to Archer, we find out who he is. We fill him in on the fact that the war is crazy, and he calls for a truce - but he needs to beat us up first.
We fight Archer, and he shows us his UBW. We realise our magic is fundamentally different, that we are different people. He gives us a magic crest, breaks a few of our ribs, then leaves.
Lancer and Rider recover Rin, who blames herself for what happened. We kiss her and go home.
Taiga's filled in Ayako on the fact that an evil Genie is forcing us to fight and that we're organizing a rebellion, and we check in on Caster and talk about love some more. Rin is annoyed that we're spilling mage secrets to everyone.
Something to note here is that Rin figured out who Red Archer is by herself and that's why she blamed herself.
Man, this isn't so much taking a long time as it is simply draining on me. I'm not a fast reader at the best of times so reading 3 threads in an hour has given me a massive headache.
Verse 18 part 2
Rin demands that we send away non-combatants, and we have a strategy meeting. We decide to talk to Kirei about our lack of a soul problem. Then we get a call that Ilya's under attack.
We sprint all the way there, then get attacked by Berserker. We smack him upside the head, find out that Cain can't identify Gilgamesh, grab Ilya and call Rin and Rider for evac. Avenger shows up and laughs when we call Ilya our sister. We go full violence and cut him up. He's fine with it, and blasts us across the clearing. So we call Archer's bow and Gae Bolg, and blow him up. Gilgamesh turns up to save Avenger and we all leave. Berserker does... "something" to get us home.
Kirei phones, and we talk about being a demon. Kirei says it's a distinct possibility. Rin walks in to talk about Souichiro, and realises something's up. We tell her Kirei thinks we might be a demon. She straddles us and tells us not to get gloomy because we might be, and even if we are, knowing is half the battle.
It's hard to be gloomy with Rin straddling us, so we cheer up quick and go have dinner. Our stratgey meeting ends with us deciding to hunt the vampire, and everyone goes to bed. However, we can't sleep so we go try to fix the bike. Sakura interrupts us to talk about a dream where she saw us talking to Avenger. Except that Sakura hasn't met Avenger yet.

Hence the 'NOT-IT' part
Verse 19
Sakura tells us to get some sleep. We ignore her and try to fix the bike again.
Apparently we should've listened to her, since in our sleep deprived state, we end up rolling a WHOLE LOT of nat.1's, and fail all the checks. We spill something from the bike on us. Dad's lighter is nearby, so we use that to get some light and see what it is.
>It's only after I light it do I realize that the only liquids coming out of a bike would be flammable.
>Of course, by then I'm already on fire.
>"Why." I say, shocking myself with my calm tone.
>I kick the already loose gastank off the bike so there's only a dabble burning itself out on the ground.
>Well, at least my house won't burn down. I chuckle at the thought. I'm on fucking fire.
>I step into the yard, knowing full well that there's nothing I can put myself out with in the shed. I see Lancer standing there, enjoying the cool night air.
>Or he was anyway. In the back of my mind I have the bizarre regret of not having a camera to capture that face forever. I can only hope it's just going to get burned into my memory.
>Heh. Burned.
>"Kid?" Lancer asks, startled.
>"Hey. Mind doing me a favor?" I ask, gesturing to the flames wreathing my body.
>He hesitates, but then he's in and out of the house with a broom beating me in an attempt to put out the fire.
[DC15 Pink Floyd composure check]
>I feel the slap of the broom on my face, and I shove my way out of the closet. It hits me again as I run away. I need to get out of the house before it burns down.
>The smoke stings my eyes, and the heat's unbearable.
>I can't find my parents.
>I make it almost to the entrance when the beam hits my back. I can't feel my legs as I hit the ground.
>I feel something grabbing me, and I try to wave it off. It's wrong. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like that.
>Somehow I know that it won't be me.
>Something pulls me up through the rubble, and I feel a blur of motion.
>A blond haired girl? Who-
[DC15 Flashback escape check]
>I hit water. I let out a surprised yelp when it hits me, and I suddenly remember where I am. As I do, I look up and see Lancer throwing himself into the tub on top of me to put out his own flames, while a concerned Saber watches horrified.
>I fail to catch my breath, and Lancer shove me under on empty lungs.
>The absurdity of my oncoming demise compared to what I've been what I've already survived is palpable. It's like drowning in the hot-tub of a boat in the middle of the ocean.
>Somehow, dieing in such a comical way would seem appropriate if Saber wasn't watching it happen. Somehow, knowing she's there makes me NOT want to die such a stupid death.
[DC10 NOPE Check]
At this point, the dice checks go from being a "We need to do something about being on fire" to being a "Saber's going to get worried if we don't do soemthing!!!!"
And we immediately roll a nat.20 and put an end to this sillyness.
And it turns out we can perfectly 100% heal ourselves despite missing half a face. However, at the realisation that Saber would have been worried about us if we were hurt that badly, we throw up in the sink.
>However, at the realisation that Saber would have been worried about us if we were hurt that badly, we throw up in the sink.
Never gets old.
>I've just realised I've been namefagging this whole time. I just meant that to announce that I was awake...
During some downtime while we wait for everyone else to wake up, we think about our magic some more and realise we can conceptualise Archer's bow as a handgun, or whatever we damn well please, and generally advance our own understanding.
Then we realise that since everyone's asleep, we can reclaim our kitchen for ourselves! Sakura comes in and asks how we slept.
>"Slept fine. Like a baby actually, if you consider screaming to be part of that. Fire helped."
We tell her to go wake everyone up and leave the cooking to us. Once everyone's at the table, we call out Lancer on being an imposter. He reveals to actually be a disguised Arcuied. Everyone else seems to panic at her presence. We're not bothered.

I'm gunna leave off here for a bit. Will carry on if noone else has picked up the thread later.
Verse 20
We ask Arc some personal questions and learn about her, Shiki and Ciel. And that the exploding chair incident had something to do with Arc'd bra.
Chilling out with THIS BIKE for a while, we contemplate more magicky stuff and make more advancements. It's almost like the bike is a better tutor than Rin.
We head over to talk to her, and inform her that Kirei knows stuff only she can ask about and we consider that Shirou has a forbidden magic to get bitches which he has no control over. Then we wander off out the house alone to shop for bike parts. We fail miserably looking for the store, but run into Gilgamesh. And surprisingly, he's not a massive dick. Until he talks badly of Saber and we snap at him.
We finally find the bike shop after lots more searching, grab a catalog so we can order more parts, then buy gifts for the harem on the way home to avert their wrath. Then we find a puppy. Ilya's brain short-circuits from the cute, and wrath is successfully averted by gratuitous application of stuffed animals.
We take a moment to chill with Ilya and talk about the Einzbern family some more, then AC-Guy gets hit by the banhammer.
>Until he talks badly of Saber
Of Rin*
bump for anyone who wants to continue?
Guys. Guys. Guys.
>I feel something grabbing me, and I try to wave it off. It's wrong. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live like that.
>Somehow I know that it won't be me.
>Something pulls me up through the rubble, and I feel a blur of motion.

>Somehow I know that it won't be me.

We need to set ourselves on fire again. We need to see this scene again. Something is seriously up with the way we were saved from the fire in the last war. I think it's the key to everything.
>Somehow I know that it won't be me.
I'm going to start typing the 30th verse and up. We're only at the top of the 21st verse right now, so I should get quite a bit done by the time that's ready.
Your presence gives me the motivation to continue. That, and the fact that I know the next few threads get awesome.

On a side note, I'm slightly disappointed now that we didn't include some of the /tg/ banter and "strategy" in our recap. Some of this stuff is comedy gold.

Verse 21
We give Ilya a hug after telling her Dad didn't abandon her.
Lancer turns up and tells us about some Runes of Binding him and his Master have been finding about the place, most of which "reeked of blood magic". Rider tried to track Avenger but got cut of by Gil, who propositioned her. He apparently backed off when Rider told her what she thought of as a good time. This also leads to us discovering that Arcuied cannot into metaphors.
Arcuied gives us some info on Vamp activity, apparently it started out as usual creating minions, but then it stopped feeding a week ago. We decide to consult our resident evil preist on these matters, and that it would be a good idea to bring Arcuied along. For totally buisiness-related reasons...

We head out to the church, and Ilya takes Berserker and the pup to go buy a leash and collar. We have a reaslisation, and ask Arc if she has a cell. She doesn't.
>"You didn't even know cellphones existed? Good lord woman, you're worse than Rin."

We then derail strategy talk with dog names, and almost settle on "Sir Bevidere Diamutt the 3rd, esquire." with a vote tally of 8 anons for and 1 AC-Guy against.

Arriving at the church, we then tag-team with Arcuied to troll the fuck out of Kirei, Rin and Ilya. Arc can't hold it though and breaks into laughter. Broserker essentially agreed that it was hilarious, but that it would be rude to laugh at Ilya's fright.
Kirei then asks if we're gay.
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Forgot the pic for the last post.
If anyone wants to take threads 26 through 29, feel free.
Dibs on all up to 25 though.
Verse 22
We Q&A Kirei on the last war, and learn basically nothing outside canon, except that Gilgamesh was apparently fatally wounded as well as Kirei, and that Kirei claims to have not killed Rin's dad. Rin learns about Kariya's involvment.

After infodumping what we know about the vamp on Kirei, we leave. We ask Lancer if we can meet his Master, but he's definitly sure it will never happen due to an early betrayal. Checking out a nearby rune provides no new information, so we head home to check out Dad's notes from the dock locker. This fills us in on the events of Fate/Zero, nothing more. We're also told to 'never trust Kirei under any circumstances'. We decide not to share the existence of the notes with anyone. We also reveal to Saber who Ilya is, and that we know how old she probably is.

Rin and Sakura are locked in their room crying about Uncle Kariya, so we chat with Rider. After charming her for a bit, we tell her we know who she is, thanks to some obvious tells like Pegasus and the blindfold. Though one thing we can't work out:
>"I always thought Bellerophon was a man. And why wear the blindfold?" I ask, quirking an eyebrow.
>Rider's face goes completely blank for about three seconds, before a smile starts to appear. "Oh you're good. For a second there you almost had me."

We move to talk to Ilya about dark family stuff, but Cain advises against it. So we sit and have cute sister time instead.

The rest of this thread is dedicated to the adventure of the Gay Space Pirate, which should definitely be continued as a standalone some time.
Verse 23
Issei arrives at our door, revealing himself to be the messenger boy for Archer now. Rin is less-than pleased that another outsider knows stuff, so we blame Archer.
Archer's note tells u that Avenger is doing something at Ilya's castle, some folk have disappeared in town, Arcuied asked him about baseball, Kirei is making trips to the docks, Shinji is in the temple woods, Ayako and Assassin are investiating runes (separately). And Issei mumbles our name in his sleep.
>Fucking got you, don't deny it.
>And I'm never telling you if I'm just fucking with you. While I'm on the topic, Rin's skirt.
We immediately get Ayako's number and talk her out of investigating stuff and tell her we're there for her and whatnot. The harem does not grow, however.

We then send Issei home with a note for Archer, and plan to go check out Ilya's castle. We take Rin, Berserker and Rider as our scout team.
Once there, we pull some Spooky Magic again, and tap into the Einzbern forest. This should totally not be able to happen. Magic shouldn't work this way. What the fuck, Shirou?
Rin's totally not good at keeping up with Servants, so us and Rider take turns carrying her as we sneak through the forest. Reaching the mansion, we find Ilya's room and stuff, but then Shirou's spooky magic alarm triggers and we realise it's a trap. Jumping out the 3rd floor window, we land with Rin in our arms.
Verse 24
We land safely, pass Rin to Rider and peg it through the forest. We notice a shadow appear to chase us, and Rin notices it too, calling out.
>Then I notice something else, and realize as my foot catches a tree-root that it was the worst possible time to notice that there's no way Rin's skirt would be keeping her modest right now.

What follows is another session of /tg/ dice-rolling, in which we appear to be just managing to survive against Avenger, but then Gilgamesh joins in to fuck our shit up. Apparently pissing him off earlier wasn't the best idea.
The only way we escape the situation is when Berserker dives into the fight and makes us run away while he holds them off. He cuts his connection to Ilya and activates his full Mad Enhancement.
The rest of the thread is devoted to batshit retarded ideas to save Berserker, before we finally accept that we just got him killed.
>we finally accept that we just got him killed
I genuinely cried like a bitch.

Worse than I cried after the Surgeon Gilgamesh scene in UBW.
>we finally accept that we just got him killed.

We're STILL coming up with crackpot theories about him still being alive somehow.
Avenger is Cain. At the end of every grail war Avanger!Cain wishes to start the war over until Brozerker wins the war. This is wh Avenger says that maybe this time he'd get an end he could live with.

Spoiler: He didn't.

I'm not even trying to make sense at this point.
Perhaps it's Rider's Anti-hero side running around? Maybe there's a bunch of Alter forms of the servants running around, like how we had a run-in with not!Diarmund?
Verse 25
We ask Rin about artifacts being implanted in a person, and she checks us for Avalon, but it's not there. Just a sword.
After getting home, eating dinner and being told by Ilya that Berserker might not be dead since he hasn't returned to the Grail, we head to the dojo and practise with a couple of the weapons from Gilgamesh's armoury and find a few neat tricks in it. Saber interrupts us to cheer us up by telling us Berserker's death wasn't in vain, even if it was our fault.

We ask Rin to try a search spell with some blood from us and Saber to find Avalon. We then try to get some sleep, and get pulled into a Merlin dream. He's apparently really pissed that we're messing up his plans, so we yell back at him. Then Rin wakes us up.
We sleepily mention Rin's skirt, which she then explains is simply a perception filter. She could totally be going commando and nobody would know.

We take a moment to ask Rin how she's doing, which she turns back on us, We tell her we're fine and try and get some sleep, but end up dreaming of the fire.
Waking up early, Sakura's already cooking breakfast. We chat with her for a bit about how she's doing with Rin, and what wish she wants from the Grail. She gets embarrassed and ceases conversation.

The breakfast strategy meeting entails more missing persons reports, Zouken also trying to investigate the runes, and a decision to hunt down Shinji next.
We pull Rin aside to ask her about her progress on the sheath, but she apparently made a spell to see possible future kids instead. We also discuss mana transfers, which gets awkward when Shirou 'explain further's.

And that's it from me again for now. Anyone else wanna take over 26-29?
>Introduce Heroic Spirit Emiya and tell the group it was Merlin. NOTHING CAN GO WRONG

All we need is Arcueid and the trolling reaches critical mass
AC-guy, will you ever share the mechanics of the quest with us? The take on HP-as-FATE-points alone is kind of cool, as is the mystery tolling of a d20 against invisible stats
OR we could just use Rider's spooky dream magic.
I'm failr certain Kirei is dead. We have Lancer there to witness things, and unless he's been somehow command-sealed to lie about this (by Bazette, no less), there's no reason to mistrust Lancer like that.

You have to give AC-guy credit: despite Shirou's flippant smartassery and our wacky hijinks with trolling damned near everyone, when the time comes for drama, he pulls no punches.

Shirou realizing he may have killed his father as a Demon, breaking down crying with Rin over this, and Rider getting all paranoid after tasting us a second time were all incredibly tense and/or wrenching.
Tbh, comparing this against the crunch that comes with AC-Quest, I'd prefer to keep it as-is.
We know that we have relationship points that go up and down, we know that we have a mana bar that we can ask "roughly how able are we to fight right now?" when we need to, and we know that we have stats that affect the difficulty of doing stupid stuff.
That is all we need to know.

On the receiving end then all we have is
AC-Guy: Well then roll a D20. Huh, interesting result, this is what happens.

Which is exactly the system F/SA needs with how much we need to be thinking about strategy, harem hijinks and paranoia; not our chances of landing the next blow in a duel.
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So should I be assuming noone else wants to take up writing 26-29? It's 4am here, and I've already recapped two full ingame days...

I'm loath to do it, but I can if it's not happening otherwise.

This post has taken 5 minutes to post because I just can't get the captcha right...
I'd do it, but I'm currently typing up 32+
I already have 30 and 31 ready, I just keep getting distracted.

I can work on it if you need the sleep. I just need/want to finish editing this pastebin thing first.
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I'd rather you work on that than this. Any idiot can do this bit.
I'll see how I feel after I grab some... uh... breakfast.
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>Editing the pastebin
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Alrighty, coffee has given me a little boost.

Kicking off Verse 26
After we Shirou explain further'd Rin about mana transfers and didn't get useful enough information, we decided it would be a better idea to ask our little sister instead. Why? Because Shirou, that's why.
And Ilya being awesome, actually tells us we need to give Rin the D. When we tell her we haven't given anyone the D, she starts questioning why we're crazy if it's not for hormones.
AC-Guy has some fantastic typos in here
Next, we move onto THIS BIKE again. We're careful and it doesn't set us on fire. Turns out we can get all the parts we need pretty cheap from the catalog and fix it like a normal person. The parts are due in the day after tomorrow.
>At this point, AC-Guy suffers connection issues and the thread devolves into... I'd rather not explain it.
>Thus, the archive gets described as "we talk about mana transfer and not much else." Which I'm finding hilarious due to how much stuff happens next.
We pop out Dad's notes again and look up catalysts of the last war in the hopes of finding Avalon... or something... and his notes confirm that Avalon was planted inside us to save us after the fire. But as far as we're aware, it's not there now. We decide to summon our Origin again because... I don't even know what you guys were doing... Well, it goes wrong and we get a headache and the message "Folly".

Next up, we pop in on Caster and Souichibro hasn't changed. General ideas about how to heal him are shot down and we leave.
Thinking of a new plan, we call Issei and have him patch us through to Archer. Archer tells us that Avenger has a hostage, and that Souichibro was cursed in a manner Avenger found 'completely hilarious' and 'poetically flawless'. Avenger being our brother, we immediately clock in to his troll, and tell Caster she needs to make out with Souichibro, since true love conquers all.
Dropping a call to Ayako next, we ensure that she's fine and isn't the hostage. However, Shinji apparently hasn't been back to school since the incident. We then tell Rin we're stepping out and go looking for Shinji in the woods.

We pathfind our way to his camp pretty swiftish, and decide to STEALTH up to him and nat.20 this shit. Pretty sure we're getting some /tg/ Dice God assistance on these STEALTH rolls. Turns out Shinji's guarding some sort of hostage cage with a crying girl inside.
We text Arcuied to tell her what's up and ask if she's near, then Hero Emiya to the Rescue! next verse.
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Oh. Hmmm. I just realized I never took out the half-made trains of thought that went nowhere, or removed notes on things that we ended up learning later on.
Ah well.
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Verse 27
We decide to take on Shinji. However, as much support as we get from the dice gods for STEALTH, the exact opposite applies for Shirou trying to Tactically Operate. We double-nat-1, and we get caught by a tree, alerting Shinji who pulls a bow. He misses his first shot as we free ourselves, but doesn't miss his second and shoots us in the shoulder. He doesn't get a third shot as we rush him.
He surrenders and starts spilling the beans on Avenger's plans. He's helping them because he doesn't want to be brutally murdered. The pussy. He knows pretty much nothing useful though, and we can't get him out of Avenger's team due to a tracking mark on his arm. We breifly consider simply cutting his arm off, but a call to Rin tells us we won't be able to stop the bleeding.
Oh, and Rin was apparently distracted and didn't hear us say we're stepping out. And is vaguely concerned about us suddenly being cavalier about someone's life.
>"Well, it is Shinji."

Since we can't help him now, we tie him up and pop the hostage loose. It's Satsuki (yay!) and she's scared. So we pop open the door. Turns out there was a vampire in there too! We nat.1 the roll for surprise combat, so he grabs Shinji and bolts. Eh, whatever. Satsuki looks healthy, so we're taking her home with us.
The harem greets us with some really awkward reactions. Something's been going on while we've been out.
Talking to Satsuki, we get some idea of why she's here, and it sounds like the vamp was lured here for whatever reason and she was just brought along.

Rider pulls us to one side and tells us that Rin's been going nuts with the kiddie spell and finding out what everyone's kids with Shirou would look like. And now they're being awkward and embarrassed. Rider then quickly steers the conversation to ownership of the half-fixed bike. We ask how open she is to the concept of sharing.
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Verse 28
We talk to Caster and find that she's lost her Item Creation skill by summoning Fake Assassin, that Souichibro is getting better, and that Caster wants to leave soon.

We then head over to talk to the sisters, and find out that Sakura is easily distracted now. She's worried she's being a burden to us. So we apply some tactical hugs. We then get our first hint that the wormslut is barren.
In an amazing show of Shirou actually being socially aware, we switch topics and ask her what she wants to do after the war. The subtext skips over her and the conversation ends.

We drop out in search of the others, and find Rin and Rider discussing something. We stop to talk to Saber, and talk about relationship issues and the grail war etc, with Saber deciding the war is more important. We try and tell her that we may both be wrong in our conclussions. We leave her to talk to Rider. She's worried about Sakura, and threatens a terrible fate to us if we hurt her.
We drop the conversation to join everyone for strategy lunch. Lancer says there's nothing interesting at the docks, and Avenger isn't doing anything. Arcuied is absent.
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Verse 29
We fill everyone in on our encounter with the vamp. Lancer says him and his Master are hunting Avenger now instead of the vamp. Rin points out that we're running low on groceries and that we should go shopping with just the two of us.

Turns out she wanted to apologize about the kid spell thing. We're just annoyed that we didn't get to see the kids ourselves.
I'm seriously wondering how much of this is even legible anymore. I can't understand a word I've written when reading it back. I need sleep
We tell Rin we're revising our policy of avoiding relationships, and she asks if we actually are plotting for a harem end.
We also talk about amusing ourselves with Caster's reactions as we push her on Souichirou, and Rin points out that we're being manipulative and mean. That hurts...

At this point, Avenger uses a perception trick to separate us from Rin, and have a private chat. We have the usual banter, and a catch up session that doesn't tell each side anything they didn't already know. He also tells us that we do apparently still have our soul, even if magic says we don't. He also pretty much confirms we're not human. Like, at all. And that he's like the Jesus to the Holy Grail's God. Or... something like that. Avenger then leaves.

Rin phones us and we pretend we didn't meet Avenger, quickly meeting back up and heading home.
>In the next 'What Do?' Ilya's name isn't explicitly mentioned, and /tg/ panics in the assumption that Ilya has been kidnapped. AC-Guy assures us she's simply next door.
>Then attention is turned to Taiga, since she wasn't mentioned either. We haven't heard from her in some time.
We decide to stop by Ilya and ask her for relationship advice, since she's technically our older sister. She says she can help maintain the status quo until we're ready to make our move. Stuff won't implode too violenty in the mean time.
[V.29 Part 2 inbound shortly]


That took longer than I would've liked, but I kept getting called away from my computer.

At least nothing was on fire.
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Now we decide to check on Taiga - she should be home by now. Her phone doesn't get a response, so we call Issei. She left school at lunch time for family reasons and hasn't been seen since. Calling Raiga, he says he hasn't seen her for a week.
I really want to point out here that we freed the vampire literally right before lunch time. And Taiga got a call from what was apparently Shirou at lunch time, thus leading to her getting kidnapped. I think we really, really need to look deeper into this.

We scramble the harem and head out on a rescue mission. Rin brings a par of Taiga's panties. [DC15 Magic means staying focused]
Taiga's in trouble, so natrually we nat.20 this one. We head straight towards wherever she is, but get intercepted by Gilgamesh trying to shoot us in the knee en route. He catch his arrow mid-air, and he tells us to stay out of it. So we race him to the docks, and stumble into a boundary field. No idea whose. After a quick area scan, we find the place we think stuff's going down, and Shirou tries to Tactically Operate again, and fails the roll.

We get a peek into the room, and see a hostage situation with the Vamp holding Taiga and Shinji against an unknown injured European woman.
My turn!

30th verse:

We take a peek inside the door and see the Vampire holding an unconcious Taiga, Shinji at the

vampire's feet, and a bleeding Bazette staring the Vampire down. We burst in prana-gun blazing,

and shoot the Vampire a few times, and Bazette sends the vampire throught the wall with a flash

of fire.

We immediatly go after the Vampire, project Gram and gleefully kill the Vampire. Before the

Sword makes us lose it and attack Bazette, we throw the sword away and vomit. Turns

out having concern over our own actions is worse than anyone's sympathy.

Despite her best efforts, we calm Bazette down and Rin heals her more dangerous wounds. Lancer

shows up, and tells us Gilgamesh is looking for the Vampire. Once we agree to meet with Bazette

tommorow to fully explain what's wrong with the grail, Lancer leaves with Bazette.
31st verse:

Shinji offers to distract Gilgamesh for us, and despite everyone telling us for a few minutes

that it's a stupid idea, we go out and try to diplomancer our way out of a fight with him by

telling Gilgamesh that we killed the vampire that he and Avenger needs.

Gil is furious, saying that killing the vampire ruined their plans of doing whatever with the

fewest possible deaths. Before Gil could start raining Noble Phantasms on us, we chuck a

flashbang at him, and run from the area. We find and put a cardboard box over us to prevent us

from beeing seen, and gilgamesh strolls by right next to us, not knowing where the fuck we are.

Arc calls us and says that we didn't kill the Vampire, but she took care of him. Arc mentions

that he was the only Dead Apostle in the area, but him being here wasn't why she was called,

and it was more like he was there by coincidence.

We head home, and watch over things for over an hour before Saber notices that we're home.
Or rather, why there's a box in the middle of the room, and why there was a second projected

box under that.
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And we're now at Chapter 30, so I'm handing over to Nubum and getting some sleep.
32nd verse part 1:

We talk to Taiga about rescuing her from the Vampire, and them move on to Caster, who we just

realise doesn't know about the grail being a sentient hate machine, and Souichibro expresses

his confusion in why we don't have a wish for the grail.

We apologise to Saber about fucking with her about the box, but after explaining ourselves we

only make her fear for our sanity. We move on to talking about who Saber would prefer to have

as her Master as we cannot reform our contract, and Saber asks for Rin the second most loyal

than Illya the prana battery. We also fill Saber in on our suspicions on the grail before

moving on to talk to Sakura to fill her in on Shinji's apparent change of heart. The moment we

ask if there's something she wants to talk about Sakura bolts out of the room. We chat with

Rider for a bit, before working on THIS BIKE with Rider.

>Wandering around, I spot Rider. She turn to me. "Did you really sneak home in a cardboard

>"Of course."
>"A crate made of wood or metal would have been too conspicuous."
>"... Do you give everyone the same non-answers to direct questions?"
>"Maybe. To be honest, I don't really pay attention to what I say."
>Rider's ability to stare at me blankly when I can only see half her face is astounding.
Oh fucking hell notepad. I just realized it screwed up the spacing.
32nd verse part 2:

When we finish working on THIS BIKE, Rider is sad that the bike is still broken and she cannot ride it. Rin sees us outside and we bring her up to speed on the cast off bike from Gilgamesh, and Rin tells us Sakura's going to cook dinner. After we have a moment about wanting to cook, Rin asks us if we really are alergic to sympathy and starts to worry about us, and when we try to explan it away, Rin just stares at us, wondering what partof us she can't see that would make what we do make sense to her. Hint Rin: It starts with "f" and ends with "uckhuge fire that made us the only survivor"

We go for a walk to cool our head, and Rider follows us to make sure we don't get killed. We head towards the market and end up talking to Lancer. Lancer tells us that Bazette was poisoned soon after he was summoned, and that's why she's so paranoid. We also talk to Lancer about our women problems, and then Lancer talks to us about our fire problem. He also aks us the million dollar quesion, >"Do you want to be better because you want to be better? Or do you want it so people don't worry about you?" Lancer also point out that we do not smile, or at least don't have a real, happy, smile.
33rd verse part 1:
We chat with Rider a bit on the way home, before doging a surprise attack by Gilgamesh, who tried to use science to figure out if attacking from a distance was better. He decides to jst rain Noble Phantasms on us anyway, and after we jump in the way of one about to hit Rider, Gilgamesh sends them all at Rider.
One double 20 human shield later, Archer shows up and projects Rho Aias in front of us and sends Gilgamesh away. He then tells us Berserker's last words for us: >'Do not be so angry, what happened wasn't your fault'

We talk to Rider a bit on why we jumped in the way to save her.
>"Rider." I gently place one hand on her shoulder. "Stop looking at me like I've grown a third arm. I have a reflexive hero complex and you were basically a damsel in distress. The fact that I'm a human or whatever and you're a Servant and a Goddess and whatever else is irrelevant to the situation."
>She turns to me, and lets out a flat, but far more coherent "What."
>"Seriously. Hurry up and swoon dramatically so I can carry you home. Before this gets awkward."

Afterwards we talk about Rider's love life, and how Shinji was a step UP from her previous life.

Seeing the blood on our shirt, we realize that the best way to make sure no one notices it is to take our shirt off and walk to our room in out coat before anyone notices. Rin notices and follows us in, only to see that our closet is nothing but copies of the same outfit.

At dinner, we info dump everyone on what we know:
Grail might be an evil sentient hate machine
Gilgamesh is still around after 10 years
Vampire (was) running around working for Avenger

Caster decides that it's not worth fighting eachother for now and extends the cease fire until we know more about what the fuck is going on, and we decide to prioritise finding out what is up with the runes Avenger has been placing around town.
I only got up to the 33rd verse typed. I'll continue working on 34 and 35 after I read AC-guy's commentary.
Someone else might want to do 36+

33rd verse part 2:

For now though, we talk to Sakura about how she's doing, and remind her that we care about her, and having friends and being treated as a person is a right, not a privilege.

We move on to Saber and talk to her about Lancer M.D.'s diagnosis of our problems. It doesn't solve anything, but it does make us feel better.

>"So." I say standing up, projecting a Bokken. "Now that we've gone and gotten all awkward about it, what say we go and get real hot and sweaty to get our minds off unimportant things?"
Saber's head snaps back so quickly I would think she got whiplash. She opens her mouth to say something, blushing so hard that I think her cheeks would try to bruise.
>She stops when she sees the wooden sword, and she stares at me disbelievingly.
>"What?" I ask, with the moist neutral expression I can manage.

Saber then procedes to throw us into a wall and break our spine while sparing. Saber runs out for Rin's help as we regenerate from having paralyzed legs

How in the flying fuck did you manage to greentext in the middle of the line?
Reading commentary and making a list of things we really should check out
>The 2 vampires in Caster's vision
>That location Merlin told us we were sleeping in
>Investigate that mental block
>Ask Zouken what we are
I'm assuming he did it >like this ?
>I'm assuming he did it {spoiler} {/spoiler}>like this {spoiler} {/spoiler}?
Placement of spaces is important in making it work right. One between the spoiler brackets, and one after whatever you wanted greentexted.
Well, I just used >Spooky magic.

Put three spaces between what you want greentexted and what you don't. Put spoiler tags around the center space.
Oh, and don't expect a pastebin for AC-Quest anytime soon. I haven't read it yet, or even played the games. I'm fairly certain 95% of the replies you would make would be along the lines of [No, that was established in cannon when X happens in Y game.]
[1/10, would force you to buy games before allowing you o participate in quest]

Getting something to eat and waiting to stop laughing before continuing recap.
Someone else might want to take 34 and 35 too, I'll do the last 2-3 threads instead.
There's also something funky going on between Zouken, Avenger and Red Archer.

>Archer demolished the Matou house, but was suddenly in cahoots with Zouken and Assassin to deliver a message about a one-on-one duel with Shirou a few threads later?

What's up with that?

>When Shirou and Rider were taking a walk, Gilgamesh interrupts with an attack and Archer intervenes and mention this:
>"Or did you not notice how Avenger practically begged me not to destroy the two of you that night at the ruins of the Matou house?"

So, was Avenger at the vicinity of the Matou house when Archer demolished it, or did this happen later down the line? What was his purpose there at that point?
Might coincide timeline wise with the disappearance of that one victim reported on TV who was close to that area at the time.

We may be facing an unholy alliance aimed at immediately neutralizing Shirou's alliances.
And this might make Archer a triple (quadruple? I don't know anymore) agent.

>Verse 34; Second Half: aka "The Merlin Infodump"
God have mercy to whoever summarizes and tries to make sense of that.
One hour later, nothing.
I guess I'll do thread 34 before I crash for the night, unless someone else started working on it.
Wait! I'm typing up, but I'm only up to before the info dump!
Ah, okay, carry on then. I'll work on 42+ then. Thread should still be alive tomorrow for me to post those.
Taking the reins for a bit...

Verse 34
Shirou pulls off another miracle by healing from a broken spine, to the amazement of Saber and Rin. After calming both women down, they try to figure out Shirou’s healing factor. The Avalon theory is discarded since, as far as Shirou knows, it isn’t with him. Rin tosses in other ideas like other artifacts or supernatural creatures until it’s decided to listen to the opinion of Ilya.

The backlash of trying to keep cool after that almost breaks Shirou into existential crisis. He spills to Rin the conversation he had with Lancer and she reciprocates with comforting words.

Ilya begins her body scan and notices some discrepancies between the spinal injury, which left no scars, and older injuries, which left scars composed of new skin. Shirou reveals the extent of his past injuries by retelling the THIS BIKE incident. Unsurprisingly, the trio of females undergoes varying degrees of freaking out. Ilya, the calmest of the three, presses her scan further and also sees the sword that Rin detected a couple nights before. Additionally, she also discovered that the sword felt like a door connected to something else.

Magic flowing through the two points get established, Saber conveyed the extent of Avalon’s abilities, and Shirou thinks Avenger may be in possession of said artifact. Saber shoots down that theory, and the rest just chalk it up as Shirou’s magic being weird.
>"I mean... some magi have an element that they're tied to and have an easier time manipulating. It's like he's not geared towards something as wide as an element. It's more like he's tied to a concept. Or actually, a specific execution of said concept."

Shirou further reveals Avenger’s rather casual attitude towards Shirou whenever the two meet. He later hits the sack hoping for a good night’s sleep, but Dream Wizard robs Shirou of that. Shirou asks for explanations, and he gets chess metaphors of all things. It basically boils down to one point: Having the ability to predict the future is a bitch to handle.

>cont. Typing infodump. Apologies for the slow progress.
>Ilya begins her body scan and notices some discrepancies between the spinal injury, which left no scars, and older injuries, which left scars composed of new skin.
>and older injuries, which left scars composed of new skin.

I think it's pretty much confirmed that Avalon is healing us, given the bit from AC-guy in the pastebin.

>[... Also, I'm pretty sure Avalon just heals current wounds, not repairing things like old scars or severed limbs.]

So yeah.
Loads of questions are asked to the man (who is most assuredly Merlin, but he can’t just mention that for some reason).

The first set of questions tries to validate Shirou’s existence. We learn that he is indeed a person, just put in a unique classification; we learn that he WAS Shirou but someone screwed up with their plan somewhere; he’s good at hiding because he can disregard his present existence (??); and Avalon is responsible for healing him.

Merlin also dispensed some advice on the harem front: We’re doing well with Rin; we need Rider to believe in happy endings; Saber is afraid of leaving Shirou high and dry, but Merlin has a plan for that; and Sakura needs the most work as she thinks she’s not worthy of love. Unfortunately, Ayako is placed out of the running.

We then get to the meat of the matter regarding Avenger. He basically metagames, but can be beaten by “Merlin” with the help of Shirou. He also had a hold on Kirei and has Gilgamesh subsist on orphans’ souls.

Kirei made a wish, but ‘Saber’ prevented him. Blame on the wonky Grail can be placed on the Einzberns, and the locations of the main Grail and lesser grail is unknown. Avalon still affects Shirou even though he doesn’t have it.

Merlin doesn’t know what Avenger’s deal is, but suspects that he can eavesdrop on Shirou. He also shoots down the Future/Shirou Avenger theory, says that re-establishing contracts should have been a cinch, and he also wants a happy ending.

Third War Avenger never went away (and is probably the greater threat), Avalon can’t be corrupted, and Zelretch get mentioned.

Merlin refuses to reveal anything about the fire for fear of stepping on mental/emotional landmines, and is also completely stumped about the “magic door”. It’s stable at present however. He is equally stumped with the Runes, but theorizes that they are trying to complete the Grail in a non-violent manner. He also doesn’t know why Arc checked out Fuyuki.
His next revelation blew plenty of minds, however. Apparently, Merlin detects Shirou’s presence in the damn mountains/woods (beyond Ilya’s house), even though he is currently at the Emiya house. He also got pissed at the Einzbern family when a question about Ilya was brought up.

Merlin freaks out since his intrusion was detected by the wards and he had to go. He recommends we blame Zouken, which we totally do. The rest of the household arrive and Rin volunteers to reset the wards.

>End Verse 34

>Man, sifting through those Q&As and making sense of them by putting it in summarized format was a doozy. Corrections are most welcome.

>Verse 35

Shirou tries to help Rin out with setting wards, but such practical ventures just don’t stick with “Mr. I-Can-Do-Impossible-Magic” and he is forced to go back to bed.

Rider wakes Shirou the next morning with news that Sakura’s been having nightmares and keeping it to herself. The dream involves a pair of knights in shining armor out to save her with one knight rusting away >(total symbolism for Kariya Matou) and the other tinfoil knight getting perforated by shadow >(totally Shirou). They both agree that Sakura should be more honest with herself and both plan to talk to her later.

The conversation drifts into what Saber and Rider honestly want out of Shirou, who still thinks the harem option would open up all sorts of complications. Rider allays his fears somewhat by imparting some info. Saber is slightly attracted, but needs to get in touch with her feminine side, while Rider’s priority is Sakura’s happiness. He hits the nail right in the head by asking Rider what she really wants for herself. After a minor emotional breakdown, Rider gets an impromptu lesson on the acquisition of happiness via hugs, reaffirmations of her importance to Shirou, and the value of people that care for her here and now.


Apparently, this was enough to spur Rider into a spontaneous make-out session with Shirou. However, Ilya interrupts the pair before it could get anywhere.

The topic of Ilya’s visit has something to do with the likelihood of either Berserker still being alive, or that he has not returned to the Grail (assuming he’s dead). Shirou shares with her the info that Archer passed along on Berserker’s behalf, as well as what we know of on how the Grail manifestation process works via Kiritsugu’s notes. We learn that one alternative method for such a process would still kill Ilya plus another mage, and the other method requires the use of a still intact older Grail.

Nevertheless, Gil and Avenger may have begun a work-around for the ritual. Not to mention that Zouken most probably possesses knowledge on the inner workings of the Grail Ritual, and he has been left unchecked for a while.

>End Verse 35
>Archer demolished the Matou house, but was suddenly in cahoots with Zouken and Assassin to deliver a message about a one-on-one duel with Shirou a few threads later?
Zouken pretty much outright says that Red Archer coerced him into it. Archer didn't exactly have many friends at that point, and he really needed a place for the duel to happen. I don't believe there's any more to it than that.

As far as Archer triple-agenting, I don't believe so.
All he ever wanted from the war was to kill Shirou. And he found out that Shirou isn't Shirou. We've both agreed to put stuff on hold and be allies until we figure out what the fuck is going on, and that if at the end Archer still wants to kill us, he can come and try again. He doesn't need to triple-agent to get what he wants.
>and the other method requires the use of a still intact older Grail.

Guys I think I solved Avenger. And Shirou, and why he calls us Brother. I haven't worked out all the details, but the main idea covers a few of the plot points we've mostly ignored.

First off, we are in fact a pseudo-demon made by Kiritsugu's wish to find someone among the fire to save. There are a few holes in that idea, but I think we're all largely in agreement on that point, and the details don't really matter. What matters is that Kerry finding us in the fire was a result of his wish on the Grail to save someone.

Avenger is someone else's wish. Someone in particular. He's another Grail vessel, made by the shards of the Grail that Zouken normally would have found and put in Sakura, and brought about by someone's wish to save Ilya from the fate of becoming a grail. Since Kerry got his wish in the form of Shirou, that means Avenger must be Iri's wish.
Avenger has the appearance of Servant Avenger because unlike Shirou who was/was based on a real person there in the fire, Avenger had to be made up completely. So the Grail used this freeloader who has been inside of it since the Third War as a template. And since we were both made by the Grail, AND each made by half of a husband/wife duo, BAM brothers.
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>that means Avenger must be Iri's wish.

That makes too much sense in my head.

You're on to something here, and I totally failed to consider the Grail Vessel itself/herself having its/her own wish.

Now put Iri's wish through the Seihai-kun suffering filter and your theory is pretty much golden.
>Since Kerry got his wish in the form of Shirou, that means Avenger must be Iri's wish.
>Now put Iri's wish through the Seihai-kun suffering filter and your theory is pretty much golden.

Actually, isn't the one thing that Shirou remembers from the fire is that the person that saved him had blonde hair?

What if Iri was the one that made the wish to save someone after she couldn't save her daughter?

What if Kiri was so filled with guild after killing Ilia that he wished that the burden of the Einzbern's homonculus to became the grail?

Fucking autocorrect, I meant guilt. So yeah, the point is that we REALLY need to check on Shirou's past through Rider's Dream abilities.
>the person that saved him had blonde hair?

No dice there. At that point, Shirou's consciousness already snapped back to the real world. The blonde hair was just Saber trying to help "Lancer" douse Shirou from the bike fire.

Word of AC-Guy.

Totally agree on the Rider Spooky Dream magic if the contract with Saber fails.
I have other crazy alternative plans, but the last few times I've vocalized them, shitstorm ensued.

Several of the Armored Core games take place in different continuities, and AC-Quest both does that and evolves bast the normal restrictions on the franchise.

If you were to read the threads (A feat in and of itself) you'd know as much as the rest of us.
>Ayako is placed out of the running.
Satsuki gets sent home, Arcuied won't stick around to be our trollmate, we can't name the pup Sir Bedivere Diarmutt the Third, esquire., and now Ayako doesn't get harem'd,
It's like AC-Guy just wants to taunt us with nice things we can't have.
To be fair, I personally backed off going for Ayako after AC-Guy expressed incredulity about his ability to write a romance with her and not screw it up.
>Arcuied won't stick around to be our trollmate

That just means that after the Grail War is said and done we need to follow her, and bring the harem with.

Though I fear for the safety of both of their harems once the sheer combined swag of Shiki and Shirou wind up in the same room.
I think we end up in the same room as Shiki, we would just slowly slide towards each other until we combined to form the swag singularity.
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No, we'll be fine unless we both somehow crossover with the P4-verse.
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>tfw realising I summarised 14 threads in 14 hours yesterday, and this morning two others have managed thus far to recap 6 threads in 13 hours
Was my recap half-arsed or was I just that fast?
It's a combination of important stuff that needs to be explained happening in recent threads more than old threads, and that people need to sleep.
I-I'm just really that slow anon; both in reading and typing. Verse 34 & 35. Not sure I can deliver on 36 onwards.

Also this. As we approach the more recent threads, seemingly important details need to get touched on so we can don our collective thinking caps and figure out the bottom of this mystery.
Yeah I know. I was actually ok with doing so many threads because quite a few of them were really minimal on events.
Like the Berserker one. The only actual event was that we didn't see Rin's panties, tripped over and got cornered, then Berserker saves us. The entire rest of the thread was retarded ideas on how to save him that really don't need to be mentioned again.
So what threads are being worked on? I haven't really contributed to the summarizing yet (just the commentary and INSANE THEORYCRAFTING), but we're getting close to the "HOLY SHIT" that happened in verse 40 and I'd like to try my hand at that thread and maybe a couple before or after it.
I believe Nubum is working on 42/43, and we just finished 35.
So all threads 36 through 41 are up for grabs whoever wants to write them up.
Well, I think I can squeeze out one more thread (verse 36) and after that I'm done for the night/morning.
I'm doing 42 and 43 right now. I keep getting distracted by /vp/'s tears though.
I'll start with 39 then, which is the one with the Great DDR and Karaoke Shitstorm. Because I'm the guy who suggested karaoke in that thread, and this shall be my redemption.
>Verse 36

Shirou goes downstairs for breakfast where Sakura is almost done with cooking. Arcueid arrives in time for the meal and explains that she’ll have to leave because she can’t interfere in human problems, and the small-time vampire wasn’t a big deal anyway.

The Brunestud Clause:
> If humanity harmed some aspect of nature outside their domain I could get involved.
>If things outside the purview of humanity start to prey on your kind, I get involved.
>If more than one sphere of the world gets mixed together I can get involved.
>As long as it's all the work of man though, I have to maintain a strict hands-off policy if it has any scale of impact greater than a simple schoolyard scuffle.

Arc and Sacchin soon say their goodbyes and leave after breakfast. Caster prepares to move to her new base and is ready to give Saber back to Shirou by dinner. Rider and Sakura are once again Servant and Master as of last night.
Shirou volunteers to try to get in touch with Zouken, which worries everyone, and passes a message to Issei hoping it eventually gets relayed to Zouken. Ilya and Saber stay home, while Rin, Rider and Sakura investigate the runes/go shopping. Shirou accompanies the trio.

The group learns nothing new from the runes, so Shirou just let the girls do girly things. And that’s when he spots Kirei with his arm in a sling and isn’t in his priest garb.

Shirou approaches the priest and asks what happened. Kirei narrates Zouken’s attempt to assault the Church under a mistaken belief that the priest is secretly Lancer’s master. >Are we ever gonna call Lancer out on this later? The executor sustained injury in his arm and had to ditch his robes since worm-vamp-nigger put a magical tracker on it. Also, bake sale.

Clarifications on the vampire moniker merely classify Zouken as a non-Dead Apostle Type vampire. Kirei then resumes his “spiritual counseling” with mixed results. Shirou doesn’t want to cause harm to his loved ones by being a soul/happiness sucking demon. Kirei refutes that it’s still the most positive outcome.

We get segued into Behavioral Science 101 via people watching; relate it to persons of interest at home, and move on to talking about happy things. Too bad Kirei thinks that suffering brings about much more interesting reactions; and this is where we pretty much label him as a psycho. He leaves to give Zouken his final exorcism rites. Shirou tries to negotiate for time, at least until answers are gleaned from Zouken, but Kirei refuses.

Shirou meets up with the trio and informs them of these recent events. Rin isn’t really that concerned, as opposed to Sakura, but the loss of a source of info on the Grail worries Shirou. They resume their runic investigations and we finally roll high enough for a breakthrough.

>End Verse 36

>And that's that. Passing the ball to someone else's court.
>Verse 37
Shirou and company examine the runes and discover a glyph that would alert Avenger to tampering. Shirou mentally crosses the lines and ends up with roughly the same location where Merlin thinks we're sleeping in the woods. In discussion with Rin, we find that the runes seem to be inert, self-contained, and Rin's not sure what they're for or if they can be activated remotely.
>"So what? it's a tamper-proof rune made of Dark Magic that does nothing?" Rin shakes her head. "We don't know what it does, he can't activate it unless he's right here, he knows if someone's going to mess with it and there's several more across the city."
Rin feels that we either don't know enough or have just overlooked something somehow.

The group heads home and separates. Shirou decides to track down Souchiro, and finds him watching the news. Current topics are a missing elementary school girl and an electrical fire down at the docks that destroyed a storage building. Shirou asks Souichiro if he can convince Caster to stay allied, but he replies that he has no reason to try to convince her, given that she's the only one with stakes in the war, while he's just acting as an anchor for her. While he believes that Shirou is telling the truth when he says that he's not in the war for the prize, he also states that Shirou's truth doesn't quite fit the situation, as the grail wouldn't have chosen Shirou if he didn't have something he wanted. Shirou counters that while he does have an ulterior motive, it's not something that he needs a grail wish for, nor is it a goal he had coming into the war. Hesitating, Shirou does admit that if a spare wish were lying around he could find a use for it, but isn't getting his hopes up given that the grail may be unusable.
The conversation then takes a turn down Twilight Zone Lane as it turns to relationships, with Shirou being the least emotionally stunted person in the room. Through his talk with Souichiro, Shirou realizes how people talking to him must feel, and is appropriately appalled. Souichiro is compared to sleeping beauty, and he finally starts to get the message that Caster might, just possibly, be in love with him. He decides that he'll need to look into it a little more before skipping down the hall in joy, which is apparenly what everyone at school does. Even the teachers. Like Taiga. And Issei. What.

Taiga apparently used to do it quite a bit, but stopped several years ago.
>She loved Kiri, he only died a few years ago, she stopped around the time he died. Ouch, right in the feels.

Shirou decides to drop everything and find Rin, offering her a heartfelt apology. Because he totally didn't realize he could be that frustrating. Despite having done it multiple times, deliberately, to tease Rin. She's annoyed, but the heartfelt part sells it, and she decides that she can't actually complain about the teasing without coming off as a complete hypocrite. She laughs slightly, then offers a pestering cease-fire, but it's far too late. She laughed, and that means Shirou's off the hook. Shirou cheerfully starts to walk off and barely avoids taking a textbook to the head before Rin slams the door. Shirou knocks at her door, returns the book that she seems to have dropped in the general direction of his face, and offers to tone down the teasing a little, reasoning that it's a good source of stress relief.

Shirou says something self-deprecating, Rin gives him the standard 'You're being an idiot' look, and Shirou politely asks her to stop looking at him like that before he does something to really earn it. She calls his bluff, and he takes her in his arms, dipping her towards the bed.
>"Is something wrong?" I ask, concerned.
>"I... this is- Shirou?" She looks at me, seemingly terrified. I wonder if I've gone just a little too far this time. ".... Should we be doing something like this? I mean.... I thought you were trying not to do something to hurt people-"
>"Yeah." I sigh. "You're right." I drop her on her bed, and she squeaks again before she hits the bed. "I should go. Maybe I'll see how Saber's doing-" I reach for the doorknob when a hand firmly grips my shoulder and yanks me off balance back onto the bed.
>"No. I get one for that." Rin says simply, darting in and giving me one tiny peck on the lips before smiling triumphantly.
>I hear myself say it before I realize what I'm doing. "If you're going to do that, you might as well make it worth it." She looks at me confused for a moment before I grab her around her waist and pull her lips into mine. for several seconds we stay there locked before I let her go and she slowly raises herself off of me.

Rin has a look that's part surprise and part something else, something Shirou can't identify...it's not desire, it's not hunger, but something else he can't quite place.
>Insert theory: What is this thing you humans call love?
Rin decides that Shirou should leave, as it's not fair that either of them indulge in teasing like that with the current situation being what it is. Shirou understands, Rin smiles, and he leaves in search of Sakura.

Shirou finds Rider while looking for Sakura, and determines that Rider's had no luck asking Sakura about her nightmares. When Rider asked, claiming she felt a connection rather than actually witnessing the dreams, Sakura apologized and ran away blushing. Further attempts to talk to her only resulted in Sakura panicking the more she was pressed. Rider recommends Shirou ask Sakura if she's alright, as she looks a little flustered while bustling about in the kitchen.

>End Verse 37.
Sorry, thought I could do more but it looks like I have to take off for a few hours, could somebody else grab 38?
Yeah, can do that if no one else already started it. I've already finished 42 and 43.
I'm done with 39 and 40, and just started 41.
>First off, we are in fact a pseudo-demon made by Kiritsugu's wish to find someone among the fire to save. There are a few holes in that idea, but I think we're all largely in agreement on that point, and the details don't really matter.
But then how was Shirou *ever* able to form a bond with Saber?
38th verse-1:

We ask Rider if she could use her dream magic tosee how open Sakura is to the idea of sharing us with everyone, and shee agrees. We move on the chat with Sakura, and when Sakura flinches when we say we're not good at judging risks, we get her to talk about how worried she is about us when we do things like rush in, not caring about the risks. >"I'm sorry, but I need to take the risk. I don't know what I'd do if something were to happen to you." A memory of smoke drifts across my minds eye. "... but I do know what happens when I put myself first. I wouldn't... I wouldn't be me. Would you even like it if I changed that much?"

Before we can talk to Saber we get a call from Lancer, telling us that teh meeting will be at a restaurant called 'Koushuuensaikan Taizan.' We grab Saber and head out to meet with Lancer and Bazette.

On the way, we apologize to Saber about how we realized how frustrating it was to talk to us when we're being dense, and Saber agrees that while annoying, she's experianced FAR worse.
>I swear I hear her mumble something like 'meddling goddamned wizard' under her breath

We also warn Saber about the spicy food at the resturant, especially the Mapo Tofu, but she doesn't really listen to the warning.

We also talk about how, out of everyone in the household, she's the one we know the least about. We know the legend of King Arthur, but not much about her. She mentions there's not much to share, and the conversation drifts towards Merlin and how, while powerful and important, dicks about with his powers all the time to everyone's frustration.
38th verse-2:

>"Apparently he made the mistake of looking ahead to see how I would react to something, and then once he saw the future he had to walk the road to that future. If anything other than what he saw happened, it would have terrible consequences."
>"...Like what?"
>"He never explained!" She exclaims angrily. "He always said he was doing what was for the best, but he never explained the why, how or what of his plans! We were afraid sometimes to even ask him about something in case it derailed some huge important scheme, and KNOWING the value we placed on him and his work he used our trust to pull pranks!"

We chat a bit more about what parts of the Round Tables's history is true and what isn't before arriving at the meeting with Bazette.

When we drop our name, Bazette asks if we're related to Kiritsugu or Noritaka Emiya, and we tell her Kiritsugu was our father, and we don't know a Noritaka. Saber Orders the Mapo Tofu while we begin the negotiations.

We had Bazete create a Geas that only the truth can be told during the meeting, and we list off everything wrong with this war and the previous one.
1. Kiritsugu destroyed the previous grail
2. Gilgamesh is still here
3. Avenger
4. Zouken doesn't know what the fuck is going on. And he pissed off Kirei.
5. Brozerker died, but never went to the grail
6. Caster says there's somethign off with the grail
7. Arcueid came here to kill a vampire

Bazette says we've made our case and is willing to extend the ceasefire, with the clause of forgiveness, and make a geas of mutral protection. Saber looks it over and we sign it.
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>38th verse-3:

After Bazette and Lancer leave we notice Saber barely touched the Mapo Tofu and ask her about it.
>She returns a nervous smile back to me, obviously worried. "I'm really hungry, but the Tofu tastes like pain. Why would you do that to food? You can make food tasty and they make it hurt? Why Shirou?" Her expression is like a child being told Santa isn't real. "They can make food that isn't terrible in this era, and they make the food terrible in a different way?"

We take Saber on a not-date to make up for it, first to the mall and the food court where Saber procedes to buy just about one of everything. We talk about the bike for a bit, and how Rider wanted Saber's help in "breaking in another model" before moving onto another topic.

>"So Saber, did you ever get a look at the Children?"
>"...Children?" She asks through a mouthful of noodles.
>"Yeah, you know.... Our children."
>Saber's eyes go wide as she attempts to yell out some form of objection mid-swallow. She ends up choking and coughing violently for a few moments. When we get her past her fit... "WHAT."
>"You remember, Rin's tracking spell?"

Saber actually never looked at them, as to her it would just be a remider of what could never be.
We ask Saber why she can remember things from the fourth war, and she tells us that she never died, and she knows that she has to return to her final battle to die as it is written in her legend.

After eating, we move onto the arcade, and of the games listed Saber questions why a dating sim would be a competition. We demonstrate and accidentally get the highscore on two machines at once.

We hear someone say, in a cheerful and mocking voice, "Mongrels" we turn to confront and we spot... Lancer, practising his impersenation of "the mating call of your natural predator: The Greater Mesopotamian Douchebag."

>Passing off to anon doing 39+

We snark a little back and forth with Lancer, and he reveals he was getting medicine for Bazett, and more importantly that Kirei helped Bazett with the summoning process and WAS NOT the one who betrayed her, some guy from the Magic Association did, and Kirei then further helped her by killing the other guy and healing her.

We in turn relay that Zouken tried to kill Kirei and Kirei is planning a counterattack. Lancer decides to assist, and we are left to return to our date with Saber.

Or we would, if a huge shitstorm/derailment about DDR and karaoke didn't result in the next story post taking nearly four hours to be posted. I share the blame for these events with Nowhere Man.

So instead, we go clothes shopping for Saber and decide to fast-forward through the details, so we can get on with the damn quest.
Afterward, we get a call from Lancer letting us know that Kirei got dusted by Assassin. Literally, turned to ash. Furthermore, we are told:

>"There's more. His Assassin is weird."

>"Weird how?"

>"Weird weird." He answers, frustrated. "He's got the moves and the skill, but something about it seems off. Like an old man trying to emulate things he did in his youth after losing his muscle and stiffening his joints. I don't really know how else to describe it."

We relay the information to Saber and decide to strike while the iron is hot and confront Zouken in the church while we both know where he is and that he and Assassin are weak.

At the church, Assassin is hunched over the altar while Zouken's voice is coming from all directions. The wormnigger tries to tell us he isn't evil, he's just ruthlessly pursuing his goal, and as long as it doesn't influence his goal he's totally willing to not be the worst person on Earth, but it just makes us hate him even more.

Then we begin the Q&A with the fucker.

>Since Berserker didn't return to Ilya, then either he isn't dead or there's another vessel, which he highly doubts.

>He is ABSOLUTELY CONVICED that Lancer ultimately reports to Kirei. He is also very concerned in Kirei's interest in Avenger, ourself, and Rin.

>He reveals that Kirei was involved in some way with Tokiomi's death (at least to his knowledge), and how that lead to Kariya choking a bitch. His knowledge matches the events in Fate/Zero.

>He reminds us that our alliance's common ally is Avenger, and if we take him out then it probably largely collapses.

>We share what we know about Avenger's plans. Mainly that plan A involved a vampire and plan B involves slaughtering most of the town. Zouken suggests they might be attempting to power the Grail
with it, but admits he ultimately has no bloody clue what they're planning.

Assassin suggests we leave. We object, he SCARES THE FUCK OUT OF US and tells us we have no idea what's going on so we should just run off and hide. Saber takes offense, Assassin tells her >You are not the one who kills me, so your wrath means nothing in these halls. We decide it's a good time to make ourselves scarce.

Once we leave we find out that the Church is apparently now a cell-phone dead zone and we missed a bunch of calls from Rin. We also spy another one of those damn runes, which fades before our eyes. We call Rin, let her know that we had a chat with Zouken and about the mysterious vanishing rune. She suggests we meet up at the park where the fire happened and hangs up before we can protest.
We make it there first and call Rin to confirm she's on her way. Saber catches on that we're feeling a little antsy. She tries bringing up the dream of the fire, but we deflect and move to meet up with Rin, along with Sakura and Rider, at the bridge instead.

Once there, we decide to investigate the runes. We find one and discover that the markings have changed. Rin theorizes it's some sort of countdown, but notes that they're changing a bit at a time instead of gradually and continually like a countdown logically would.

We then realize that Ilya's all alone at home, and we (the players) collectively flash back to the Hearbreaker Gilgamesh scene in UBW. Panic sets in. We leave Saber with the sisters and have Rider SANIC us back home. Rider isn't sure the panic is entirely warranted, but we remind her:

>"The last time I noticed someone I cared about wasn't where they should be, I got a surprise from Taiga."

>"Well that's-"

Rider informs Rin and goes to help with Caster moving out while we spend time with our favorite sister. She suggests we don't tell Rin some of the details Zouken told us about Kirei until we can verify them. We also decide to implement a buddy system from now on, and Ilya decides she wants to investigate one of these runes herself at some point.

We decided to talk to Rider now and spy her going toward the dojo. She informs us she can smell the blood from the other day when Saber broke our spine, and admits it's making her VERY antsy. She compares it to addiction withdrawal, except it won't go away if she tries to tough it out. So we make simultaneously make the best and the worst decision we've made this entire quest.

We offer to let Rider feed on us.
And after she gets a taste, she becomes incredibly hostile. We're not Shirou, she says. We taste different, she says. We try to defuse the situation with snark, but Rider will have none of that. Ilya walks in just in time to watch us get nailed by Rider.

No, not in a good way. We nat 1ed that combat roll, meaning Rider just up and murdered us. We hang on just long enough to hear Ilya scream.

While we the players are left wondering what the FUCK just happened, Shirou wakes up, vomiting, in the church cellar. Turns out Zouken and Assassin had, at some unspecified point, managed to capture us without our knowledge and replace us with a simulacrum that we were in control of. We overhear parts of their discussion, and find out we're apparently part of a trap set for someone female probably Sakura and that Zouken hopes this will end with the destruction of our alliance.
We manage to Tactical Espionage Action our way into tricking Zouken into thinking we've already escaped, learning in the process that Zouken knows we're not completely human; he calls us >a walking paradoxical monstrosity trained by one of the most effective mage-hunters of the last century.

We then botch the actual escape roll, very narrowly missing nat 1s at the fourth and sixth rolls, and wind up face to face with Assassin. We make the combat roll, though, and manage to get out of the church. We call home and tell Ilya DON'T PANIC, WE'RE ALIVE AND ON OUR WAY HOME. We try to Speed Demon our way home before the rest of the gang gets there, but once we realize we won't make it, we phone Rin and tell her “SHIT'S GOTTEN REAL, STAY CALM AND DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE. I'M ON MY WAY AND I'LL EXPLAIN WHEN I GET THERE.” We get home and Rin, Saber, and Sakura are waiting outside.

Forty-one coming when it's done.
GOD so much happened in that thread.


We tell Rin and company to wait outside while we defuse the situation (which we still don't explain) and we go inside. Ilya's in the yard, and she informs us that Rider seems to be on the verge of or in the process of a breakdown. Inside the dojo, it's fairly clear that the simulacrum went autonomous after we went back to our body and tried to escape. Rider murdered the fuck out of it, and is now curled up in a ball in the corner.

We call out to her and tell her about Zouken apparently replacing us. Rider is understandably not entirely sure we're the real Shirou, so we nick our finger and offer her the blood to be sure. She confirms it, and we proceed to hug it out, and proceed to diffuse the last of the tension with snark.
We then explain, first to Rider and then to everyone, about how we were apparently replaced, we don't know exactly when or how, by Assassin. Rin believes it happened the night before when the wards were tripped the night before (when we were actually talking to Merlin), because we wouldn't have been able to use our magic with that body. Ilya tells us that she probably wouldn't learn too much from studying it, so we decide get Lancer to kill it with fire when we can.

Except the door to the dojo is open and we're sure we shut it. The body's exactly where we left it and doesn't seem to have been tampered with, so we get a little paranoid. We RURRU BUREKA the body just to be sure, and Rider informs us that she can smell somebody new came through here. Somebody that smells of brimstone.

Then AC-Guy got banhammered so we have to wait almost a full day for the next story post.
We split into pairs and search the house. We stick with Ilya in the dojo, and she decides now's a good time to talk about how Operation: Tenchi Muyo is coming along. She also tells us how apparently Sakura woke up from a nap earlier begging Rider to use SPOOKY DREAM MAGIC to deal with what is likely the fact that she's absolutely disgusted by her own sexuality. Ilya then goes on to say she noticed the brimstone smell, and that it was actually something closer to burnt metal. She compared it to how we smelled back at the church when Archer turned on us all.

Rin comes back and tells us whoever did this is gone. We call up Lancer by deducing his location in a moment that would probably make Sherlock Holmes jealous. We tell him we need a favor, then start cleaning up the blood before Lancer arrives.
We clue him in on the whole clone thing and the weirdness with the runes, he burns the corpse, and we share details about Assassin trying to figure out what he's capable of. Then he made us spill the beans on how we figured out where he was: we knew where the pharmacy he told us about in verse 39 was, that the mall was a shortcut to it from a particular direction, that there were two hotels in that direction, that only one of them had a honeymoon suite, and that Lancer was JUST the kind of asshole to tease his Master by getting them a honeymoon suite. In response, Lancer makes it known that the girls aren't hiding their attraction to us as well as they seem to think.

Before the girls can fully process that, Ilya drag us off for a serious talk disguised as a shopping trip.
First, she tells us we need to eat, because who knows the last time our actual body ate. Second, she tells us just how weird our magic is. Apparently we have two sets of circuits, and they're growing much faster than they should be. And finally, she goes back to Operation: Tenchi Muyo and tells us the best thing to do now is to let the girls sort out Lancer's little revelation themselves. We then blow her little loli mind by revealing we've actually been manipulative as hell, though well-meaning, about this whole
harem thing this entire time. She compares us to Kerry doing the right thing through dirty tactics, and tells us >Honest men are boring.

Then Q&A with the sister happens.

>We reveal that we had a hand, with Rider's help, in that dream that got Sakura all worked up. Ilya says it probably backfired.

>We mention that Zouken's probably blackmailing someone female in the group. Her money's on Sakura.
We get groceries and run into Ayako. She has no idea who Ilya is, so we joke that we stole a sister before revealing that she's Kerry's biological daughter that we didn't meet until recently. Ilya then sort of spills the whole harem situation to Ayako, who gives us a sly smile while completely sidestepping whether she's into us or not. Sneaky girl. We say our goodbyes and head home.

We get home and it's Rider's turn for private chats. She confirms that Sakura's dream earlier was part of the plan, and that it didn't go completely without a hitch. Sakura got really, REALLY into the sexy dream, then once she woke up she begged Rider to, her words, “Brainwash the slut out of her.” We admit the plan was fundamentally flawed, and the conversation turns to how totally not planned the whole Lancer thing was, nope, not at all. Rider admits she's a bit scared of having any closer of a relationship with us than we already have.
Then we go talk to Saber. We assure her that it was us, at least in mind and spirit, that she went on a date earlier today with and not some fake. Then the conversation once again turns to the Lancer thing, and Saber tells us that she doesn't want to get closer to us because she knows she can't stay, due to the whole not-actually-dead thing, despite practically admitting she's totally into us in the process.

So we basically did EXACTLY what Ilya told us not to do, twice.

And now I hand it back off to Nubum to bring us down the home stretch.
And here we go!

42nd verse:
We explain to Saber that Souichibro is being intentionally dense about Caster's love for him, and then try to talk to the man while waiting for Caster. We sacrifice our copy of The Princess Bride for him and Caster to watch together, hoping that it would make them understand.

When Caster returns we restrain from asking why they're so dense, and instead ask about Saber's contract. Saber master will change at dinner, and we fill Caster in on what Zouken and Assassin did to us the previous night, Kirei's death, and the changes in Avenger's runes.

After leaving and overhearing Souichirou talk about the movie like it was something alien to study, we talk to Saber about our dream that she saw and kept bothering us about. The dream of fire that we have every night, >"lay in the rubble, watch fire, remember painful experiences, wake up"

Saber asks us why we left out the end of the dream, and we respond saying we have no idea what she means. She realizes that we're serious, and fills us in on it.

>"Right at the end, there was.... something.... on the horizon. I couldn't get a good look at it."
>"I honestly don't remember that."
>"There was also the voice, probably it was Kiritsugu." She says. "It sounded like a question, but it was too vague to be sure."

We talk to Illya for a bit and have her scan us again. Same results as last time, except that door is closer. She's also pretty sure our body must have been swapped last night for the simulacrum. When we mention Avenger Illya spins us around and tells us that we're not Avenger, and that we get this look in our eye that scares her whenever he's mentioned. Illya also asks us if we could just relax tonight and not worry about the war. We agree, and call Taiga over and ask if she can pick up a few movies on the way.
Rin walks up, and after we mention that we're cooking tonight, we bounce a few theories off Rin to see what sticks.

We mention that Zouken might have wanted the extra command seals that Kirei had, and that he isn't working with Avenger as far as we know. The runes fading and the events at the church might not be directly connected either, but it does seem like quite the suspicious coincidence.
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43rd verse:

Rin tells us that she doesn't know of any other mages in the area, but then again she didn't know we were a mage either. Rin also explains to us what being in charge of the land entails, how to join the Mage's association, and what an enforcer is. We also tell Rin that, since Saber can't reform her contract with us, she wants Rin to be her Master. When Rin slips and mentions that Illya wouldn't be "competition," she flees before we can ask what she means about it.

With Rin gone we focus on cooking for all of five seconds before Taiga comes into the kitchen and we ask about what movies she brought in. Taiga tells us she brought a few comedy movies before we notice Sakura and Rider leaving out of the corner of our eye.

Sakura acts suspicious when we confront her about it and tells us that she can't tell us what she's doing. We let them go, and then ask saber to get Rin immediately. We fill her in on Sakura and Rider leaving, and we leave with Rin to follow Sakura.

While following Rider almost spots us, and we take Rin into an alley and loop back around to Sakura's location. We overhear that Zouken bribed Sakura with fixing the damage he's done to her uterus if she went out and killed Archer.

We tell Rin to step out and confront her while we call Issei and explain the text we sent to him, and tell Archer to lay low for a bit, Zouken is after him. We then talk Sakura down from working with Zouken by saying that Archer has a trump card that would kill both Rider and Sakura, and Zouken would screw you out of any deal you made with him anyway.
We lead Sakura and Rider back home after a hug, and when we get home Avenger calls our cell. He asks how we're doing, and notes that he's the only one actually working tonight, as Zouken's cooped up, Archer hasn't been seen, Lancer is laying low, and Gilgamesh took Shinji and demanded that he show Gil a new form of entertainment. He then asks us how things are with all the girls, which leads us to the deleted thread found at http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25293072/
And now, I'm just going to repost everything from the deleted thread.

"I don't know. Complicated? I'm hoping things settle down a bit more on that front, enough things to worry about."

"Fair enough." He responds, and you hear a vague hissing noise over the line.

"Why are you asking anyway? Looking for advice on your own women problems?"

"No offense bro, but you are probably the worst person to get advice from on the topic."


"Eh." There's a pause as he apparently begins scraping at something. "So, I need to get back to work in a minute anyway. Just wanted to touch bases. If you're taking the night off or something this seems to be a good time for it."

"I see."

"Yeah. We gonna say our goodbyes, or is there anything last minute you wanted to talk about?"

"I don't suppose you could just tell me what you're planning and save me the trouble of figuring it out?"

"That would require me to both hand you the keys to my defeat and have any idea what the hell I'm doing long term."

"... Really?"

"Really. I kinda started winging it at about the time the Red Archer lost his hostage. I mean, I KNOW what victory would look like for my side, and I know the direction I want to go in, but apparently I can only get from a to b the long way around."

"Good lord, you really are my Brother, aren't you?" I answer, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Yeah, bullshitting and confusion seems to be the main shared traits." He responds. "Shame you didn't get the good looks too."

I try to come up with a reply when I suddenly hear the loud 'click' on the line disconnecting. I put the phone away and begin to walk towards the front door when Sakura steps back outside.

"Oh, you're done?"

"Just finished."

"Alright." She smiles. "So who was that on the phone, Sempai?"

[ ] An asshole.
[ ] Avenger.
[X] A friend.
[ ] My Brother.

"Just a jerk who happens to be a friend of mine. Wanted to see how I was doing."

"He called this late?"

"Remember when I said he was a jerk?" I ask calmly which gets a small smile as we walk back inside.

Rin's standing in the kitchen scraping something unidentifiable off of a pan. "Taiga apparently decided to touch as little as possible while we were gone."

"How'd that work out?"

"She turned over some of the fish you were grilling, but these vegetables are a lost cause." She answers with a sigh.

".... Those used to be vegetables?"

"I THINK they used to be vegetables." Rin responds, prodding it with the edge of a spatula.

".... Taiga's that bad of a cook?" Sakura asks confused. "How does she feed herself?"

"In the last year or so since you started coming to my house, have you ever seen Taiga eat a meal that wasn't cooked by one of us?"

She looks at me, and clearly spends a minute trying to recall such an incident. Almost desperately clawing for a memory that doesn't exist.

[ ] Set up a movie.
[ ] Help Rin cook.
[ ] Taiga, Saber, and Ilya are alone together.
And with that, we've recapped everything in Fate/Stay again!
It only took us about 44 hours to do so!
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We did it guys! We accomplished... a thing.
Now that that's done I'm going to take a moment to catch up on Akuma quest.

But for now, I'll throw out a general plan for what we should do in regards to our dream and Rider's dream magic:

Talk to Rider, ask her to do dream magic on us. Not to change the dream, but just to watch. There's part of it at the end that we don't remember. Tell her about what we remember of the dream so she knows what she's getting into, and ask her not to change anything in the dream, but to either help us remember the end of it or tell us the end of it when we wake up. Say that we're 99% sure we'll have that dream, and if she sees a field instead, leave the dream and make sure no one wakes us up. We’re [Insert a reason other than a wet dream for Rider to leave and let us talk to Merlin]
Well, I was a lot less involved in that then I intended. Which in a way was nice, because the AC-Quest recaps damn near killed me.

I guess I can dump some ideas for Carnival Phantasm bits since apparently people like writing those on the side.

Or just bullshit paranoia things, since that's always fun.

Also, my gift to you: If you want it, I'll answer one question directly and honestly right now. No spoiler locks or anything.

Just one?
What IS Shirou's true nature, exactly, in this universe?

I'm basically giving you a free pass for any one piece of information.

Yes, only one.
You fucking douchebag.

Pfffft hahaha oh god, that timing.

That fucking post timing.

Didn't you just answer a questio-

/gagged from behind
I would've posted it with an image of Oolong if I weren't determined to get the first question in.
you fucking cockweasel
i wish i could hate you to death

you too faggots.

What's funny is that I could be nice about it, and STILL be an info blocking dick.

Assuming I didn't put it to a vote or something.



>White, mostly.

And on a more serious note, I'll let you guys actually vote on what question you want answered, since I'm being nice.

Please note that I'm going to answer HONESTLY and DIRECTLY, but am under no obligation to answer it COMPLETELY or even in a way that makes any sense based on what you know now if you want to ask for something really BIG.

I put forward:

"Where is berserker."
>Please note that I'm going to answer HONESTLY and DIRECTLY, but am under no obligation to answer it COMPLETELY or even in a way that makes any sense based on what you know now if you want to ask for something really BIG.
This proves it.
AC-Guy is one of the Sidhe.

AC-Guy is my Siha
Is the Cain that was Ilya's Servant still present in the city?

I'd rather ask something more along >>25405845 these lines.

THe berserker question can tell if and where a new grail is.
What makes Shirou not entirely human, and why is he not entirely human?
Where is Emiya Shirou, and how did he get there?
Actually, on second thought.

I vote that we pass on the question entirely. Yes, there's a million questions I want answered, but it'll lose something if we learn it early.

You know AC-Guy will just say Rin summoned him. This is a no go.
How do we fix Sakura?
How about this, then:
"What are we neglecting that we really should be paying more attention to?"
"Lots of things."

Give her the D.
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>Please note that I'm going to answer HONESTLY and DIRECTLY, but am under no obligation to answer it COMPLETELY or even in a way that makes any sense

>/tg/ begins trolling itself,without even needing AC-Guy
For clarification, is this knowledge gained exclusively OOC or can we use it in quest to get people to do things?

So changling? Would explain his inability to understand human emotions and his highly improbable luck.

Is that the question?

In seriousness, the answer I give you will become in character knowledge, how I'll fluff it in might depend on the nature of the info given.
What was the second change that you made to the setting.

Cain as berserker is one. What is the other.

What is Avenger's plan is an option, but I feel that specific wording is too vague. What specific piece of information can we act upon?
Oh no, I mean full-blown Sidhe. Member of one of the Courts and all.
And he lives in Alaska, so the odds of him being of the Summer Court are quite low. He even told us to "let Winter in" in a previous thread...
What is the easiest and most effective way to ensure the quest ends with a harem consisting of Sakura, Rider, Rin, and Saber, all happy and alive in our current time?
Technically Avenger was present previously as well but he has absolutely no reason to take our form. In hollow he took Shirous form because he was actually absent from the town at the time.
Heh. Shirou dies, Rin gets a harem.
Watch your phrasing, fella.
I personally support the idea of asking where Berserker is, or simply outright: IS HE DEAD?

We need to a) Keep it simple
b) Don't spoiler ourselves. It's called SPOILER for a reason.
c) Don't ask something we may already know or could work out easily.

>under no obligation to answer it COMPLETELY
Stuff like "What IS Shirou?"
Well, human, mostly.
"What is Avenger's plan?"
To get a favorable outcome for his team.
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>forgot pic
Well, that's ONE theory. Another says he was possessing Shirou's body the whole time.

Also holy shit this is still going, I'm so sorry I watched e3 stuff over following it.
I'm gonna blow some minds here with my suggestion (assuming AC-Guy hasn't picked one):

What are the questions we should be asking?

Bam. Gonna just leave that there, and walk away like a pimp.


I don't know what I was thinking. Nothing interesting happened (except for Megaman in Smash, that was cool) as usual and the console kiddies still haven't stop talking about who ownzored who.

Oh well, the new SMTIV trailer was pretty cool, and I'm back now.

>Megaman in Smash

They whated the who now?

Goddamnit, I thought the best part of E3 was watching Microsoft's horrible flaming demise.
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Less mind-blowing, more simply annoying. Like the first two questions.

pic related
A: The right ones.
The question we ask needs to be specific, so we can't really try for more than maybe 2 pieces of information.

>The right ones.

Why do you guys assume I'm just going to give you a dickhead non-answer? I'm only going to do something like that if you ask me for something dumb like 'how do we win'.
Oh that was fun too, but watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IIDGKbeSE5w

Nintendo could only top this by announcing Simon Belmont. We'll have the entire N-team in Smash Bros.

Me, name was gone for some reason.
I'm in favour of asking about what the flying fuck Shirou is, but i'm unsure how to phrase it.
There's only two things I could think of as questions:

1) What were the exact series of events that happened, to the last detail and conversation, that occured from the start of the events that caused the Fuyuki fire up to when Shirou was adopted by Kiritsugu?

2) Where is the location of the greater and lesser Fuyuki Grail literally (as in sets of standard use longitudinal and latitudinal coordinates), AND metaphorically?
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It would be better to assume you'll give us a non-answer than to waste our question on something too vague.

This is like Command Seals, man! We have to use it right!
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>1) What were the exact series of events that happened, to the last detail and conversation, that occured from the start of the events that caused the Fuyuki fire up to when Shirou was adopted by Kiritsugu?

Rider dream magic. We're going to figure this out ourselves, goddamn it, and it's going to be glorious.
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SO close.

I've got a question: Is Kirei actually dead?

Eh, if he has the weird heart thing going, he's technically been 'dead' for a while.

Not sure that's the best question.
Throwing my vote in for the "Is Berserker dead" question.
Guys, we've been looking at this the wrong way.

What we SHOULD ask is 'what were those game breaking ideas/plans you mentioned'?

I mean, he already said Shirou would learn them so it wouldn't be metagaming..... And it's not a question he could 'misinterpret' into something else or dodge easily.
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But does he?

Actually yeah he probably does, he said he dug his way out of the rubble and later said Avenger claimed to have saved him. Am I remembering this correctly?

Phrase it differently first. That's a yes/no question, and besides they're heroic spirits, they're ALREADY dead.
Ooh, that's good.

I vote either that or asking if Kirei is really dead.


Anon, I could *kiss* you!
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>What we SHOULD ask is 'what were those game breaking ideas/plans you mentioned'?
[keikaku intensifies]

Wish I'd saved the Urobuchi pic for this.
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Glorious anon! How did we forget about this?


And me without my reaction image folder.....

I vote for this.
sure, that's a possibility.... If it weren't for the fact that Merlin talks to us while we dream, which might screw that plan over, and I'd rather not sacrifice Merlin time if we can help it.
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>Game Breaking Ideas

>Plug Jeweled Sword to Grail. Infinite free mana.
>Plug Vampire to Grail. Immortal, relatively free mana. Alternatively, Vampire Grail Vessel.
>Have Caster craft a wand using a Vampire. Hawaii honeymoon End.
>Screw You Gil, Summon another Gil plan.
>Fragarach/Gae Bolg wombo combo (??)
>Broken Phantasm RURU BUREAKU.

Keep adding 'em.
>Plug Jeweled Sword to Grail. Infinite free mana.

That's not how the sword works
>>Broken Phantasm RURU BUREAKU.
Wouldn't do much. Rule Breaker's strength is in it's ability to sever magical contracts, not its power as a weapon. The ability is unrelated to its rank as a Noble Phantasm.

>Fragarach/Gae Bolg wombo combo (??)
Again, wouldn't do much. Gae Bolg's power is to ensure a strike to the heart regardless of where the spear is headed, Fragarach rewrites time to make sure you hit first. In this case you'd get a double kill.

Also I don't want a vampire anywhere near the Grail. Summoning a Gil of our own is hilarious though.
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Not the question for this thread, but rather something Shirou would've noticed but we forgot to pay attention to at the time: Did Assassin look any different in the church from the times Shirou saw him before then? Because he became a SCARY motherfucker all of a sudden. Was that just a change in attitude, or did his physical appearance/voice change as well?
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Oh the train has not yet ended.
THANK YOU I didn't have that one.
Well, seems like this is what the majority want, but we should phrase it better maybe?
>Rule Breaker's strength is in it's ability to sever magical contracts
Broken Phantasming it might make it an area-of-effect ability rather than a 'stab it' ability.
Are they deliberately trying to ruin themselves?
That is not how breaking phantasms works. Breaking them makes them go boom, sure its a rather large explosion of pure magical force but that's it.

Oh it gets better.

Minimum broadband requirement is 1.5Mbps

Correct and incorrect. "Breaking" a Noble Phantasm is something any hero can do. This increases the Phantasm's rank for a short time and then it disappears.

Since a Traced weapon is effectively one rank lower than the original this lets Archer make copies as strong as the original. The explosion effect comes when you overload a weapon with prana, so it's doubly effective if you can generate infinite numbers of weapons.

I'll cap it: XBone isn't going to release in Poland. The Witcher 3 devs can't play their own game in their home country.

And the XBone is being released a year late in Asia.
That almost makes sense. They're focusing on the regions where they actually had a presence this past gen, and Asia never welcomed the 360.

But the 360 did pretty well in Europe, and the Witcher franchise is bigger in Poland than Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings both. It's a travesty that the devs can't play their own game.

I leave to go grab dinner, and this happens.

I want you to know I hate you all.

The thee plans presented to me went like this:

>Plan one.

Involved fixing/replacing the Grail. There is a way, and if you found it you're well on the way to an easy victory.

>Plan two.

A particularly creative use of Rule Breaker. Not going to specify beyond the broken Phantasm idea isn't the right one.

>Plan three.

Also know as the 'reverse major mistake' involves killing yourself at an appropriate juncture. Limited utility, but proper execution could lead to undoing a solid bad-end.

You assholes.
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You brought this on yourself.

And really, aren't you the least bit proud of us?

Anyway, speculation time!
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Clearly, we need to begin archive diving and look for details.
Otherwise, time to throw more insane theories at the wall!
>Plan one
Summon a Saver class, kill him, have his holiness cancel out Angry Manjew.
>Plan two
Rule Breaker Avenger from the grail
>Plan 3
Turn Archer into a Saver class via command seal and kill him to cancel out Angry Manjew.
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>Involved fixing/replacing the Grail.

>Rule Breaker Avenger
Yeah let's just try this. Spam a hundred low-power Rule Breakers at him, he can't dodge them all.
That'll fix the symptoms but not the problem. The Grail will still be corrupt, and we'll have lost a potential ally.

We should focus on trying to fix or replace the Grail. We either need to drain Angra Mainyu wait is he even the problem in this timeline?! from the Grail or find something to use as a new core... after we FIND the damn thing.

Let's prioritize that.
Wait I thought Avenger WAS Angry Manjew.

>Plan one.
>Fixing the Grail.
The Grail is corrupted. Avalon cannot be corrupted. What happens when an unstoppable force meets and immovable object?
>Ok so who is this other Avenger.
>...And...can Avalon be corrupted?

>"The one summoned in the Third war. He never quite went away."
>"No, since it's just a representation of something greater. That's like asking if a country can be destroyed by burning a flag."

>Plan 2
>Rule Breaker Avenger

Both Avengers. "Bro"Avenger coz he's a dick and 3rd War Avenger coz he's pretty much the root cause of this Grail snafu.

>Plan 3
>Killing yourself at appropriate juncture.

So we do have a Ciel/Roa like situation here?
We should find the Grail Shards?

Or ask Ilya if she knows how to make a new one?

...Go memory-diving into her little homunculus brain to dredge up how here ancestor made the first grail?
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Ever play Star Control 2? Avenger in FHA is a bit like the Orz, except singular--he's a manifestation of the entity in the Grail, a *finger* if you will. Sort of like how heroic spirits are copied out of the Throne of Heroes, Avenger was taken from the corrupted Grail. His "true form" is a featureless shadow or the tainted grail itself, he only looks human because of some fuckery involving Shirou, whom he's possessed or otherwise taken the place of. Anyway, the long and short of it is that Avenger is still in the Grail and the Avenger outside the Grail isn't quite the original.

>memory diving with Illya
Likely to be effective but we don't want to make a new Grail if we can help it; Justsica pulled it off by using her body as a vessel and her soul to stabilize the thing. Guess who the only person who could do that for us is?
Shirou is a Demon who subsists on making others happy. Conversely, making other people unhappy (like when they're worried about him) makes him ill because it's literally the opposite of what he lives on. This doesn't explain or apparent lack of a soul, though. Maybe we're looking at the problem in entirely the wrong way.
Let's assume Shirou has a soul. We can't find it inside us through magic. So where is it?
If I had to wager a guess, I'd say Shirou keeps it with the things he values the most - his loved ones. It makes no sense, but Merlin DID say we were unique. And it'd explain why our girls couldn't find anything but Avenger could.
Don't forget, though, that Avenger is a Metagaming Dick.

He might have just read AC-Guy's notes.
wait, what would happen if we Rule Breaker'd the grail? And would it have to be the Greater Grail, or can we poke Illya?
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The Grail isn't a magical contract or binding, it's a construct.
>Nothing about his posture changes, but something about the air in the church seems to change. It feels colder and darker than it was a moment ago, as Assassin begins to talk. "Child, you do not know even the nature of the game you find yourself playing. you are no more significant than a butterfly in the face of a typhoon. It is wise for the pretty little bugs to take heed when dragons dance, if they don't want to be swallowed in their wake."
>Saber freezes at his words. "Are you saying that you-"
>"Do you wish to test your limits girl? You are not the one who kills me, so your wrath means nothing in these halls." With that, he turns away and seems to fall into a thoughtful silence. He seems to be completely oblivious the tension in the room, so thick it feels like I'm going to choke on it.

The way Assassin speaks makes it seem like he's very old, or something. He's seen a lot of shit and is not impressed by or scared of anything anymore. Trying to outbluff him is pointless and he's got that 'killing intent' thing going on.

The line about Saber 'not being the one who kills him' is intriguing. Does he already know how he will die? Some kind of future sight or divination, maybe? There's also the way Lancer said he moved, like an old man who tries to emulate the things he did in his youth but his body wasn't used to it anymore. AND he can make really good barriers. And Simulacrums.

I've got nothing. All I know is this guy fucking terrifies me.
What if we Rule Breaker'd Rule Breaker?
Everything up to barriers and simulacrums had me thinking Longinus for some reason. I know he'd be more Lancer than Assassin, but he WAS famous for murdering Jesus.
Rule Breaker is neither a magical contract, nor binding. Rule Breaking it won't do shit.
does anyone remember the first time AC Guy told us that one of our crazy plans would have worked? It'd really narrow down the searching
>when dragons dance
He's claiming to be a dragonborn. That's a lot scarier than someone who can kill tied up godlings.
Somewhere between thread 15-19 I think
Found this while looking for plans
>"Right then, the sheath needs a sword, right? that's part of why the curse ins there, but luckily you seem to have adapted well to it." He hesitates. "A mite too well actually. I wonder if you're what I intended to receive the gift." He sighs and shakes his head. "I suppose it's too late for such concerns. Listen, Lock and Key, Sword and Sheath. To succeed, you first need to fail and destroy the source of your Shadow, and kill yourself. Do you understand?"
Possibly related to plan 3?
That may just have been a fancy way of him gloating "I am so much stronger than you", though.
I think this is in more of a metaphorical sense, just to imply a sense of scale of how far above us he is claiming to be.
That's what I thought, but note Saber's reaction.

Merlin's plans for us aren't terminal. I'd guess that's from before his plans were FUBAR'd.
...could Assassin be Kiritsugu?
Doubt it, he spoke to Saber.
Eh, if Kiri DID qualify as a Heroic Spirit that's pretty much the only class he'd get. But as famous as the Magus Killer was, I don't think he could really get pulled into the Grail that easy.
o u
No, I don't think Kiritsugu knew how to make a simulacrum. Besides, if Assassin was Kiritsugu, he's be using a gun instead of knives.

And this isn't From Fake Dreams.
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Someone mind updating the archive? Not sure how long since the last update/how much longer the thread will survive.
Hey guys, AC-Guy's dinner apparently contained onions without his knowledge.

So uh, he's gonna be MIA for a couple of days. He did empower me to talk in the thread, answer questions, etc if you guys had anything last minute.

I mean, no SPOILERS, but still.
Have we ever seen this new Assassin fight? He seems completely different from the guy we tried to seduce before. That dude had trouble going one-on-one with Rider. I can't imagine Kirei losing to him.

Something's up.


Hes taking a massive shit that will last a couple of days?
Anaphylaxis or just BLARGH?

Onions do bad things to AC-Guy.

Like puking blood and hallucinating bad.

Apparently someone fed him something that contained them unwittingly.

Dude wasn't completely coherent.


He cannot digest Onions, so when he eats one his body freaks the fuck out until it's left his system entirely.
Potential plans from the first 20 threads.
>Maybe by asking Gilgamesh nicely to restrain a vampire to feed the Grail.
>Seriously, if >>21789502 is correct about the state of affairs, considering the only two Magi in this war are Rin and Sakura (whom we are currently trying to de-worm, which will probably serve to unmage her), getting all the masters and summoned servants to recognize something is awry and agree to a non-aggression pact, effectively 'sitting' this Grail War out might be our nest win condition. The servants would continue to draw prana from the (corrupted) Grail, right? The Grail is supposedly infinite in power, or at least close enough. Although, if the servants did manage to run the grail dry, would that 'kill' angry manjew? Or would the servants go evil and start killing each other off regardless once they drew from the 'poisoned well'?
>Hey, what do you think would happin if we threw Rule Breaker at Avernger or the Black Servants?
>Am I alone in thinking Avenger isn't so bad once you allow him the chance to be more than just the ultimate whipping boy? His relationship with Bazzett is actually quite sweet, IMO, and AFAIK he's mostly a misanthrope because he was literally forced to be that way. Give him a taste of the world which isn't RAEG, and maybe we can sort things out peacably-like?

Is this another thing to add to the list of "AC-Guy has the worst fucking luck, ever"?
And Nubum's list of important things that we somehow completely forgot about
>Avenger keeps implying that Shirou is helping him somehow, and that we have some sort of connection through Avalon or something. Avenger also commented on how he's being non-linear, and that a mage blocked our memories of Avenger.
>Tell Rin we don't know why we look like Avenger, unless it's because of the hypothetical bond between us, Avalon, and Avenger.
>Ask Illya if she can, using her connection to the grail and the 3rd magic, see if we are in fact connected to Avenger and how.
>Mention that Avenger apparently gave us something and wants it back
>Mention that Zouken said that the fragments of the last grail vanished before he could nab them. Avenger: "No Shirou. YOU are the grail."

>Ask Illya if she can, using her connection to the grail and the 3rd magic, see if we are in fact connected to Avenger and how.
is particularly interesting because its got interreupted by Avenger, and we never got to ask it.
>His relationship with Bazzett is actually quite sweet
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>cannot eat onions at all

Personally cannot imagine not having it as an ingredient.

Poor guy.

Feed him laxatives. Hope he gets better.
It's that E-Rank Luck, man.

Being allergic to Onions isn't. I would say that the fact that he only genuinely started to like onion rings about a week before they turned on him counts as a higher power fucking with him.


What's weird is that Onion powder or onion juice doesn't really seem to phase him.

It's the actual chunks of onion.

I know this because I am both a scientist and a terrible human being.
It was referring to F/HA, which I know jack shit about. Just throwing stuff and seeing what sticks

You've empirically tested this, have you?
Oh, he's well past that and into g-ranked luck.
I was going to ask if AC-guy drinks at all to deal with the shit life throws at him, but then it occurred to me that with AC-Guy's luck, he is probably allergic to Alcohol.

I honestly thought he was bullshitting me after I watched him eat some fry dip.

So I made some stir-fry and almost hospitalized him as a result.

After that, I got really curious as to where the line was.

I mean, I didn't keep going forever. Especially not after I found out what exactly he saw while hallucinating.

Actually, he's not allowed to drink (and doesn't like to besides) because....

Well, let's just say he isn't a good kind of drunk.

>So I made some stir-fry

You sick sick scientist, I applaud your scientific aptitude.

So, he's got that Finnish gene?
>Especially not after I found out what exactly he saw while hallucinating

If Karma is a thing, then AC-Guy is due to win three lotteries and marry a billionaire supermodel scientist sex goddess.
You are clearly the best friend ever.
>and marry a billionaire supermodel scientist sex goddess.

With his luck she probably used to be a man.

It's really, deeply personal. I don't feel comfortable talking about, especially in public without AC-Guy's awareness/consent.


The ironic thing is that he's the borderline/technical sociopath and I'm supposed to be genetically predisposed to an empathetic sixth sense according to my family history.


I've tried talking him into lottery tickets before. He says he doesn't like playing dice with the universe.
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>Especially not after I found out what exactly he saw while hallucinating.
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>I've tried talking him into lottery tickets before. He says he doesn't like playing dice with the universe.

He totally should.

It couldn't possibly get any worse.
He may not like playing dice with the universe, but the universe loves playing Wheel of Misery
>but the universe loves playing Wheel of Misery

Oh snap!
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Wheel of Misery, turn, turn, turn!
Which of AC-Guy's possessions is going to burn?

Rolled 1


>[ ] Couch
>[ ] Dog piss
>[ ] This Router
>[ ] Car
>[ ] Dinner
>[ ] Computer desktop
>[ ] Bath tub
>[ ] AC-Quest notes
>[ ] All of the above
>[ ] None

Apologies. I'm a bad person for doing this.

Didn't that already happen once?

Its a Nat 1.

Everything is on fire.

Even the fire.

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