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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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Previous Thread: http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/25521668

Adventure 04: Forest of Electricity! Sparkling Secotioid!

Thunder cracks at the light of dawn, a sound so funky can be heard from above the neon lawn.

Hundreds of arching plants as tall as the Gateway Arch bend and turn, vines of line sparkling so bright it could burn.

Surrounded by a ghostly forest so rich with mushrooms, the only world present is the nonstop danger that looms.

Atop a golden lake, a sea of rainbow bridges form into a bulbous green house palace, but this meteorological phenomenon is not one of atmospheric reflection. A pulsing noise that could be mistaken as a steady techo beat breathes life across the vines of glass-like fabric, as if mother herself were attempting to get down.

Similar giant arching plants reflecting optical satisfaction cover the largest point housing the bulbous greenhouse palace, condensation and water with odd shades of pigment glisten off the sides like tree lights.

Standing inside this palace of cavalcade, amidst the swarm of green, orange, and blue light waits a monster girl of plant variety. A plant girl in a bizarre dress made of organic material with see-through 'sap' covering her body.

She sits atop her fiercely compassionate dahlia, her dainty body moving to the groove of the pulsing city. Like one big techno orgy of sensory overload, she dances to the groove, her flower bouncing swiftly from side-to-side.

She's not alone, several plant girls litter the ocean of funky light, smaller yet just as devout. They jiggle and groove inside their respective plants and vegetation, throughout the entire palace, and even the waterlily city residing below the rainbow arches. It's as if the entire population of this city was in one giant organic groove.

A stroke of lightning outside hits a archway, the electricity illuminating the city to even greater lengths, the sound of techno pulsing revs and intensifies.
As the camera pans out to capture this remarkable beauty in action, a duo of human men can be seen riding up an elevator straight into the bulbous greenhouse palace about.

The man to the left is one of low pedigree, both old and jaded, yet someone with vast intelligence and talent. His green hair is neatly combed to mix with his whitening old hair, his face sports unkempt grizzled facial features, looking vaguely like Daniel Day Lewis in the movie 'They Will Be Blood' or 'Gangs of New York'. He wears a rusty bodysuit with busted neon lighting that seems to flicker on and off like a dying light beneath a forest camo.

The man to the right is one of lower intelligence and visual normality. His height nearly dwarves the man to his side, the height of a basketball star with the physique of a football star, one of peak physical prowess born of genetics and strict regime. His face is ugly, clean shaven to express his ghastly masculine features. The only thing keeping him from being completely bald is a small patch of black hair on the middle of his cranium. His red shiny bodysuit is cleaned to a near mirror-like surface, with chrome lines and detailing around the areas that matter.

They are Lenard Blight and Red Chrome Reiner, the Queen's mid-boss and concubine.

"I tell you once, I'll tell you again", Lenard turns to the towering man to his side, his eyes accenting a grouchy old man, "Beer pong is not your game, my friend"

"That's not nice, Lenny...", Reiner's menacing eyes jolt towards the old man, "Why you gotta always challenge me to things I don't know nothing about-?"

"Because you're stupid enough to agree to them", Lenard's mouth quivers beneath his bushy mustache with agitation, "Next time, bet on something you've played before, you ignorant fuck"

The two exchange fowl glares, but not ones of murderous intent. Rather, disgruntled employees working in the same sector, forced to meet one another each day whether they choose to or not.


"...I really hope I don't get raped today", Reiner mutters to himself as he looks down.

"Quit being a baby"

"Last time, she told me to suck on her flowers, you know, like fellatio, only on her giant flower petals. It was... freaky"

"Let me tell you something. Listen in. Are your ears unclogged and open? Good. Delightful. You're a concubine because you're A. the only other human male in the forestland, and B. because you haven't the foresight to avoid your situation. If either of those things weren't true, you'd find yourself in the bowels of some random leech girl by now. Count your blessings and quit being a whiny little neanderthal"

Knowing that, the two enter the Bulbous Green House, being met with dancing plant girls and flashing seizure inducing lights. The Queen greets the two with a warm smile and sincere eyes, she daintily extends her hand forwards and motions for them to come closer.

"Bonjour ma subordonnés", the Queen speaks in a gentle french tone, "I hope you've brought good news for me today?"

"Well, that all depends on what your definition of good news is, your Highness", Lenard Blight gives a formal debriefing, "The news I bring isn't good or bad, it's nothing. Nothing has occurred that requires your immediate attention, nothing has happened today or yesterday or the day beyond that. Nothing has happened for months, no things have occurred at all, mam"

"I found a Lucky Charm in my bowl of Cheerios this morning", Reiner adds very cooly.

"Shut the fuck up, Reiner"

"Magnifique!", the Queen makes a weird gesture with her hands atop her dazzling Queen Flower, "This is cause for more celebration, no?"

The Alraune Queen Vesperi gives the towering man in the red chrome bodysuit a perverse glance, which makes the man quell up and shrivel with terror.
"Celebration?", Lenard looks around with a distasteful face, "What in the name of crystal fucks is there worth celebrating, huh? Day in and day out, bouncing around like you've accomplished something in this giant rainbow Christmas tree of fairies and peter puffers. What cause is there for celebration? Nothing has happened."

"Monsieur Blight.. I think you have been taking your job un peu sérieusement. You should unwind a little, a man your age needs to monitor his bodily temperaments and slow down. You are still mostly human, no? Why not pay a visit to the Picho Huayo Room and have some fun with les filles? After all, all this peace and prosperity is thanks to your efforts"

"Yeah? Yeah. I just might do that.", Lenard begins to mumble to himself, "My efforts? That somehow pisses me off more. I have a hard enough time just keeping up with that fucking princess-"


The entrance to the bulbous green house opens once more, in space aged scifi botanical fashion. A woman in a red cape walks inside with a hand raised nice and high.

"Not as safe as it may seem, your Highness...", Visa Vice's voice rings out from the plant party scene.

"---A vampire?", the Alraune Queen taps her green chin with girlish excitement, "Oh, how exciting-!"

"The hell did you mean by that?", Lenard speaks out loud, the flashing lights and pulsing beats seem to drain out the snarkyness of his voice.

"Obviously something worth knowing...?", Queen Vesperi looks downwards, "Investigate"

"You don't have to tell me twice", Lenny nods off the royal command.
"At once!", Reiner salutes the Queen like a soldier.

The two head towards the vampire countess-

"No. Nonono. Not you Reiner", the Queen calls back out to the tall ugly man.

"...", Reiner turns back around with a scared whimper.

Back to inside the ballin' cyberpunk pyramid.

The old man in the stylish jacket digs into his pocket and brings out a fairy, but not just any old fairy in old man Roy's hand, oh no. It's a brown skinned fairy. With ivory blonde hair, blue eyes, and California Gold skin.

The fairy lethargically wakes up in the middle of Old Man Roy's hand, stretching out like an inebriated kitten. Her tiny yawn creeps through the wafer then silk fabric protecting the bottom half of her miniature face and infects the rest of the group with an equally similar drowsy yawn. The entire party sports varying degrees of apathy, slight intrigue, and borderline attention deficit disorder.

But one pair of eyes are much wider and interested than the rest, and strangely enough, it is not Zeke.

"NIIA-!", Annette yells out in giddy excitement, which sounds strange coming from the stuck up princess.

"Annette...", the lethargic fairy sits crosses legged in the middle of Roy's hand, waving to the princess in a Indian fashioned hand wave.


Annette scoops up the fairy from the old man's hand and slams Niia's body straight into her face, gesturing what many would call a 'hug', but on a much smaller scale.

"My lungs...", the brown fairy girl drearily states.

"Oh Niia-! It's been forever! I've got so many things I've got to tell you about!", the once sullen and stern princess with ice water in her veins resorts to something closer to a teenage girl gossiping with other teenaged girls over the phone.

"I'm happy to see you too, Annette. The bags under your eyes are my ideal notion of serene tranquility..", the fairy states with worn-out eyes.
"You know this minibitch, Princess?", Lily jests as she points at the tiny fairy.

"Of course, this is one of my childhood friends-!", Anny giddily explains as she rubs her face into the fairy's tiny body.

"I'm here only childhood friend", Niia politely corrects the princess, "Which means I'm destined to never win. Woe is me."

"How's a brown fairy supposed to help us out in a FOREST OF LIGHTNIIIIIIING---?", Ossla turns the group's attention back to Old Man Roy.

"She's been there before.", Annette's Grandpa explains with a grumble, "So-to-speak"


"That's a fairy.", the old man tries to explain to the dragon girl.

"Yeah, huh?"

"You shouldn't go into a dense forest without a fairy"


"You take the fairy with you and she'll show you the way"


"You take the fairy, you tell her where you wanna go, you follow her, and then when you're done she'll lead you out"

"Hahaha", Ossla begins to burst out giggling, "What-?"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, FORGET IT. IT'S TOO COMPLICATED FOR YOU", Roy yells out the dragon girl like an old man yelling at adolescent children.

Princess Anubis places the brown fairy on her pale, bodystocking'd shoulder and begins to articulate her past.

"Niia's the only one that really stayed by my side all those long days in the ancient archives. You see for days or weeks at a time, I'd study-", Annette begins to explain aloud.


Only to have Niia slip off her serpent shoulder pad and fall face first into the floor below.


"That was so boring you KO'd the newest character within the first minute of her introduction", Ivy's eyes make a tempting and jesting gesture.

"Oh dear, that was clumsy", Athryn remarks as she walks over to examine the downed fairy.

"Naw, it's not clumsiness", Old Man Roy points to the floor, "That fairy's a narcoleptic, don't be so hard on the bed wetter"

"GRANDPA!", Annette's eyes begin to burn with rage filled embers.
Niia's snoring begins to intensify from the floor below.

"Ah hah. Your story is making a good amount of sense already", Adena remarks while covering her smiling mocking mouth, "The only friend you'd have is a narcoleptic. Who better to fall asleep around of?"

"-----", Annette shoots the party an icy cold glare, the bantering coming to a screaming halt.

The Princess picks up the brown fairy gently and holds her up to her face.

"Niia, are you alright?"

"Super duper", the brown fairy girl sniffs the air.

"Uh... so.."

"You need my help with the thunder forest thing, huh?"

"I'm not entirely sure bringing you along is the smartest idea"

"Hey.", the fairy sheepishly clutches her fist, "You see that? I've got your nose."

"I'm REALLY entirely sure bringing you along is a bad idea"

"Well, I'll go if you'll have me, Anny. I might be a little indisposed, but I can still help... I think?"

Annette looks to her Grandfather, who shrugs it off and pushes it back onto her. Bringing this fairy along might cause problems and it might also solve them, what should you do?

Keep the fairy?
[] Yes
[] No
[] Maybe
[] Are you seriously making a Malcolm in the Middle theme reference
[] Stop it, that's played out
[] Look dude, I like They Might Be Giants as much as the next guy, but you've gotta drawn a line in the sand somewhere
[] I don't know
[] Dear fuck you're still typing it out
[] Forget the fairy, you have enough party members. Get a map or something
[] Would you repeat the question?
Cmon man, don't be like that. Is that is, or is that not the plot of this quest? Its a simple enough question, there's no need to be so evasive about it.
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But this isn't a Quest.

/tg/ is sort of like Elba to Bromont's Napoleon. He'll make a stir whenever he can but we all know he's been exiled here so we humour him.
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Oh, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings.
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But I did answer you. And I don't despise anybody, not even the guy who stole my old tripcode.
>deliberately avoiding simple questions, making your thread hard to filter, acting like a faggot, and being in complete denial about practically everything.

And you wonder why people think you're a faggot. Your thread *IS* a quest in the context of /tg/, calling it an 'adventure' is moving goalposts.

>But I did answer you.
No you didn't, you avoided the question like a bitch.
>>But I did answer you.
>No you didn't.

>So its true, then?

Yes, this campaign is about monster girls gathering mystic slime so the princess can grow a cock and become queen. That is the plot. However, it far less about the "plot" and far more about the characters and their interactions, so judging it on "plot" is kind of =/

Now, back on topic:
[x] Take the fairy
File deleted.
Sure did, dude.

But if you want a more in depth answer, basically /tg/ makes four characters and I make an entire world around them involving monster girls, dick jokes, and horror. Everything's made up as I go and everything is original content. Theme of this series is Egypt or Arid Environments.

The artist has a tumblr up with all the thread links on the side and stuff http://bizarreslimeart.tumblr.com/

You can start there, if you want. But it's a long read.
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>So it is actually about the hunt for some goop that makes chicks sprout dicks?


Well, no. That's one of the character's goals though

Why do you keep saying I was exiled here? I wasn't. Somebody said /tg/ was a nice place for storytime. Mod even apologized for deleting the last thread I made on /a/.
Another one curious because of some QTGs here.

>But this isn't a Quest.
How does your adventure differ from quests? Please define adventure.
Stick you dick in it.
[X] Yes
[X] Are you seriously making a Malcolm in the Middle theme reference
[X] Would you repeat the question?
I would say [x] Forget the fairy, you have enough party members. Get a map or something
except for the fact that it's a fairy and god knows we don't have enough fairies around. Also, she's only going to be here for the forest anyways, so it's not like she's a full time party member.

>she's only going to be here for the forest anyways, so it's not like she's a full time party member.

Isn't that right Mary?
An adventure is an exploration into territory (or areas) unknown to the adventurer. It has an unknown outcome at the start.

A quest is a search to find an object or knowledge. It can take a long time, even a lifetime.

There are quests inside an adventure, like finding slime or curing a certain sorceress of her teratophobia, but they are not main focus. Adventure is about the area, quest is about the goal.

Jerk him around? Looks like he got an answer in three posts, Anon.
Quest is about a thing or knowledge, something to be achieved. Adventure's about exploring an area.

Bizarre Slime's an adventure considering we spend 95% of the time in foreign bizarre areas.
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Iunno, they do seem similar.

But there are some differences.
So you're admitting most quest makers misuse the term 'quest'?
So by your very own admission, adventure itself could be used as cultural slang. Why couldn't Bizarre Slime Quest be Bizarre Slime Adventure if the word's definitions are meaningless?

So its true, then?


Seems like you're the one who needs glasses, anon.
You speak of courtesy, yet this writefag has his tripcode stolen and impersonated, those quotes being posted all over his thread and the QTG obnoxiously. Hundreds of pointless shitpost comments posted that serve nothing but masturbatory social justice are posted and deleted. The posters of these threads, both /tg/ and /a/, are insulted and vilified for their own faculties and interests despite being here just to have a good time.

And yet, you get insulted when the writefag gets defensive and dismissive?

If you wish to show these '/a/utists' how courtesy is done, block the thread. Posting in them does nothing but bump the thread up. How is the writefag supposed to show courtesy when you yourself have shown none?
If I recall, there's a glitch that makes the threads autosage if he doesn't leave the opening post blank.
That was fixed months ago. There is no excuse anymore. The dozens of other QMs put quest in their titles and are just fine.
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Is it? Nobody told me it was.
Then can we expect to see "quest" the titles of your future threads? If so, I take back all of my remarks and bid you good day.
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Hell, my friend, I'll remake it right now if you want.
That is unnecessary. I look forward to never seeing Bizaare Slime again. Happy questing.
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Let's put all this nastiness and misunderstandings behind us, okay amigo? Have a great day.
[x] Keep the fairy
[x] Would you repeat the question?
>We have been telling this cunt for MONTHS that shit was fixed

Oh gee, I wonder why he wasn't listening to you.
>We have been telling
>he just blows us off
>And now you have the fucking gall to tell us

/tg/ is not your personal army, don't group 'us' together with yourself.
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>Take note that it took calling him a cunt for weeks until he finally listened.

>Come into a thread you don't like
>Spend hours calling the writefag a cunt
>Repeat for weeks
>He finally listened!

That's... kinda autistic. Like, textbook. I don't endorse the thread, but that's a very disturbing thought.
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I'm picturing an obese neckbeard with ketchup and mustard stains on his shirt waiting eagerly for the next bromont post, then typing in 'YOU'RE A CUNT' while saying 'THAT'LL TEACH YOU FOR NOT PUTTING QUEST IN YOUR POST' with a auditory thisp.

These threads are amazing.
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Speak for yourself.

>Hey, is this thread about a futa?
>Well, is it?
>Fucking stop and tell me

Bromint's hilarious.
>"Well, that all depends on what your definition of good news is, your Highness", Lenard Blight gives a formal debriefing, "The news I bring isn't good or bad, it's nothing. Nothing has occurred that requires your immediate attention, nothing has happened today or yesterday or the day beyond that. Nothing has happened for months, no things have occurred at all, mam"

>"I found a Lucky Charm in my bowl of Cheerios this morning", Reiner adds very cooly.

>"Shut the fuck up, Reiner"

That made me chuckle.
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The fact that he angers the autistic community on /tg/ to that degree is proof enough that he's a great man.

Keep the fairy?
[X] Yes

Totally following this shit.
Not a Jojo fan, I take it?
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The fruit hung so low that I had not the will to resist reaching out and grasping it.

(I enjoy Ivy's character, btw.)
Do you have like three trips or something? I swear to God I filtered your puerile shit ages ago.
He had one trip for the past several years. Then it was hacked so he got a new one which he has used since.
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No. I haven't seen a fucking Bizzare Slime quest in months. This is the first one that's shown up for me since I filtered him. Trip is brand-new.
Araki 's a pretty cool guy and artist, his first characters were cheesy but that was sort of the time period. But trying too hard to make you like a character? That's sort of part of the charm.

His characters are bizarre, and unique. it's how he's managed to stay fresh after 25+ years.
Isn't that the exact same post as the one in the picture?

Seems he didn't write it, bro.
Yes. His old one was only hacked a week ago.
Yes it is. It's the "What a cunt.png". You can see the big green writing in the thumbnail.
It was released thousands of years ago, but nobody ever used it to troll so he didn't bother changing it until a week ago as you can see in >>25662400. That doesn't mean every screencap around is bullshit, because he says enough cuntish stuff on his own without somebody needing to impersonate him, but some of them are.
I disagree, bromont's writing is pretty solid for the most part.

The characters have their motivations, the setting is original, the horror is imaginative, the cast is colorful and unique, everybody has their little quirks, and all around I think it's got it's own bizarre sense of humor.

He seems to go out of his way to listen to his fans, but not baby them. Although, we probably should have fucking died in the N.I.L.E. threads a few times. This seems way more forgiving than Alternate.

Grammar's poor though.

Favorite character is Jojo.
See, you keep calling him a cunt, but after having his tripcode used and abused, being called a cunt for weeks, and having /tg/ turn on him, he seems like a pretty down to earth guy with a sense of humor.

I think you're maybe blowing this out of proportion.
I just said he says some cuntish stuff. He does. I still like his threads.

It clearly wasn't. Look at his reaction. He's never actually disowned a post he's made before, no matter how bad it was.
People only abuse him because he flips the bird to board culture and makes the least-filterable OP possible. EVERYONE would be totally fine if he just added one fucking word to his post so that the quest fans and the regular /tg/ users can remain separate. The goal of the people calling him a cunt is to make the two factions more isolated. If Bromont would add just ONE WORD to his post, the people who complain would never be heard from again. But he's too much of a stubborn faggot. Probably enjoys all the attention from the people yelling at him, since he could get rid of them all with a few keystrokes. Down to earth my fetid asshole.
>If Bromont would add just ONE WORD to his post, the people who complain would never be heard from again.
I highly doubt a spamming ban evader is going to go away that easily.
EVERYONE would be totally fine if they just added one fucking name to their filter so that the Bromont fans and the other /tg/ users can remain separate. If the haters would add just ONE NAME to their filter the person they complain about would never be heard from again. But they're stubborn faggots. Probably enjoy trolling his threads, seeing as they could get rid of them all with a few keystrokes.
No he wasn't. Look at the fucking post, replying to that screencap.
>That seems like an awfully mean thing to say. Did somebody steal my tripcode?
And that post was posted at the same time as the whiny babies post, proving that somebody did.
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Hey man, lay off him just a little. Reading >>25661801 and >>25661894 makes me feel kinda bad for him.

Has everyone casted their votes? I mean, do you want this little fairy dudette with us on our journey?
The deletions seem pretty random in this thread.

>slathered in monstergirls and dickgirls
There aren't any dickgirls. Not until Annette actually gets the Bizarre Slime, at least. But then the story will be over anyway.

I am ambivalent about the fairy. I can vote for [x] Maybe if there's actually any point in doing that.
>just to fuck with them
See >>25662400.
Besides, I said name not tripcode.
I Vote we take her. At the least her narcolepsy will lead to much luls at the expense of the party
[x] Bring her!
>Have a lancer with shit luck and a narcoleptic fairy in the same party

This is a terrible, terrible idea anon. But I support it.
The best ideas are always terrible
[x] Would you repeat the question?
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Bringing this fairy along might cause problems and it might also solve them, what should you do?

Keep the fairy?
[] Yes, she is delicious and she is brown. It is a death sentence
[] Forget the fairy, you have enough party members. Get a map or something
[] Forgo the map and the fairy, play the game of life on the edge
[] Take a lighter toned fairy
[] Mafuya is a good girl
[] You're not the boss of me now
>[] Forgo the map and the fairy, play the game of life on the edge
So I take it that's a vote for [x] You're not the boss of me now?
[x] You're not the boss of me now
>[x] Mafuya is a good girl
It's true. I don't know what it has to do with fairies though.
[x] Mafuya is a good girl
[x] Would you repeat the question?
[x] Bring her

She's been through it before...might save us a lot of trouble.
No fairy. Or maybe a lighter one. If we do get a lighter one, be sure to taunt Mafuya about it.
Take the Fairy. And Mafuya.
this seems like the best possible idea
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Don't worry, I won't forget Mafuya.
[x] Take the Fairy
[x] Mafuya is best girl
Mafuya is our nigga

Best option right here.

[x] Bring Fairy for win
[x] Mafuya is a good girl
[X] Yes, delicious and brown.
[X] Mafuya is a good girl.
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Looks like we're keeping the fairy, and Mafuya is a good girl.
Hey, I said the same thing when we were going into the N.I.L.E. and some people voted we don't take EVERY SINGLE PERSON.
Of course in the end the majority still voted everybody goes in, but maybe it was for the best since Lily, Jojo and Adena, and Kakra five-manned that shit, while Zeke's little group got stuck fighting the mid-boss.

Either way I'm saying that the majority doesn't seem to care if it's a risk or not.
Just keeping the thread alive.
It's better to wait until it's around page ten or nine, so as to not piss off people like the dude above you.
That's no reason to antagonize people.
>so as to not piss off people like the dude above you
The thread was at the bottom of page 10 when >>25679438 posted and the dude still got pissed off. I think we're well past the point where anyone gives a shit what the other side thinks. The reason to not bump unless it actually needs it is so the thread lasts longer before autosage.
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"I suppose it would save us the time of searching for another map", Annette clutches her brow and takes a deep breathe, "Niia, you'll be coming with me"

"Yaaaay...", the brown fairy cheers out lethargically, which really doesn't sound very cheerful at all.

"Kakra.", the princess calls out to her personal dullahan.

"Oop-", the fairy whimpers as the princess grabs her by the wings.

Annette takes a moment to aim before tossing the fairy over her right shoulder, the pink panther clad girl catches Niia with a spinning wide receiver catch. Kakra stuffs the fairy down her skimpy shirt, somehow securing the narcoleptic mini-girl in place.

Niia pops her head out from Kakra's cleavage with a suction cup noise, "I feel like a stormtrooper manning an AT-ST"

"I don't understand the reference", Kakra looks around, obviously lost.

"I think I've lost track of everyone's names at this point", Zeke counts off with his fingers methodically.

"Thanks Grandpa"

"Nyo-ho~", Old Man Roy's laughter sounds old and dated but nostalgic, "And with that, I'll be on my way"

"On your way?"



"Devote yourself, but never lose yourself. Understand?"



Annette's grandfather turns around and begins to exit the scene, cue stage right.

"Wait! Grandfather! Where are you going?"

The old man turns around on a dime, his shoes sending sparks across the fancy smooth floors like a blowtorch through metal.

"Wherever God takes me"

Mysteriously, the old man fades into the distance of the royal hallway, leaving nothing but a ray of dazzling razzling and trail of release doves flying across the wide angled shot. He vanishes into a doorway like a cricket in the night...

"Grandfather, that's the ladies room"

Roy immediately pops back out of the doorway, "This is where God has taken me"
Why did all these get deleted anyways.
There's a difference between keeping the thread alive and spamming pointless posts every five minutes.
Roy don't ever stop razzle dazzling us
Theres at least half an hour between posts, you prick.
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The party gathers around, now housing a total of ten members, to pool their resources and gather their thoughts.


"Well, I've seen weirder looking RPG teams", Ivy puts her finger to her ear, "Right, Mary?"

"Now what are we doing again---?", Niia observes the party, half-awake.

"You're going to lead us through a forest of lightning", Adena bluntly spells it out to the fairy, "We'll decide if

"Ookie~", Niia falls back into a deep sleep, between Kakra's jittery chest.

"Hey girl, are you sure that's the safest place to keep a fairy?", earnestly asks Jojo, who's smirking yet trying to show he's worried.

"I've carried a gallon of water in the middle of a scorching desert with these puppies once, so yes. That's the safest place on my body"

"Jesus, forget camels", Jojo briefly adds.

"Can we go already? The planning is like the worst part of whatever it is we do", Ossla whines out in a high pitched tone.

"Just because we survived three death traps so far does not give us the right to be lax", Adena's mouth stings the dragon girl's spirit, "Smoky"

"Just getting bored, Sparky"

"You two should probably avoid calling each other names, we haven't actually introduced ourselves to the newest party member yet", Athryn's chimes in the voice of reason, "I doubt either of you want her to think Sparky and Smoky are your real names"

"..Mrh...", Niia opens one eyes to peek around, "Real names...?"

"Yeah, my name is Lily Lovesworth. The boy next to me is Poon Tank McFrank", and Lily chimes in her voice of whatever it is she is.

"My name is -NOT- 'POON TANK'", Zeke punches the ninja girl in her thick thigh.

"You thought I was going to forget that, weren't you?"

"That was asking too much..."

"That WAS asking too much!"

But sure enough, the party reacquaints itself and everybody is brought up to speed relatively quickly. With good regards and the best of graces, they depart Annette's home and enter the City of Gharma.
It was still annoying as fuck. Oh look there's a new post, maybe Bromont's updated? No, it just says "bump". And it was totally unnecessary, threads do not fall off /tg/ from page 0 in half an hour or an hour.
You should know better, anon.
I really doubt it got to page six after thirty minutes each time.
You weren't helping anybody. It's really quick to fall to page 5 or so as other threads are bumped above it but after that it most of the threads are inactive and it only falls as new threads are made. Notice how we went over eight hours between >>25674394 and >>25679438 with no posts and the thread didn't die?

But he's doing it right now.
Is this an ERP quest or OP's fanfiction?
/tg/ gets really active at night, 4chan time, compared to the 8 hours >>25689147 pointed out, which were all in the wee hours of the morning.
There were no posts between, I checked foolz.
It's OC.
Yeah, stuff on page 10 at the moment is from four hours ago. We would have needed a bump. But not nine of them.
A little bit of both. Guided erotic fanfiction would be the best phrase to describe it.
Slowest ERP I've seen.
Unless Hobokings vore bad-ends don't count as erotic, he had like 9 threads of build up before actually writing what lovely smut he did. That might have been slower.
Posting one word at thirty minute intervals when it is not need can be considered spamming. There's no reason to do so since as people have said before /tg/ does not move fast enough to warrant it.
Hasn't been done before, so yeah.
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Oh yeah he seems like a great guy and definitely not a troll trying to make people the people who participate in the thread look bad.
Bizarre Slime predates the game.

So not really, man.
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No, he's right. It is.

Happened before MGQ was in English. Has it's own unique settings and everything. It's neat.
I haven't seen shota dicking anywhere in these threads. In not a single thread has the shota had his genitalia inserted into an orifice designed to stimulate said genitalia into ejaculation. What I was referring to is something else entirely.
I don't think MGQ is a monstergirl futa harem collection quest. There are no futas. Or harems.
>I don't think MGQ is a monstergirl futa harem collection quest. There are no futas. Or harems.

Neither is there in Super Bizarre Slime.
Still can't think of a time when that was implied. I was still referring to Hobokings smut which didn't even include a shota.
I never said anything about true or false. I was replying to the bit about his heart being in the right place. Those posts are clearly the posts of an asshole whichever side he's actually on.
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I'd say the plot is to make the princess the new ruler and that's just a method, but hey. Maybe you're right and the character's long arching goal from the very beginning was getting a penis and she just covered that fact by pretending she wanted to become queen.
I don't know, if it was prolonged dickgirl fetish smut, that would mean that these threads would contain said smut in some small quality at least. So far I haven't seen any mention of dickgirl fetish smut, would you kindly link said smut to me?
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>Constantly proven wrong with evidence and wordplay
>Is angry people read these threads but not his
>Whatever, Bromont and his f-fans are cunts!

The best part is that his posts will be deleted and he'll do it all over again.
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The party walks down a golden road with artificial crevices filled with polished metallic. The road leads through the center of city, accompanied by merchants and shiny new buildings kept to the finest details.

The Hidden City of Gharma, treasured and beloved by myth and common wealth. A city built of robotics with architecture reminiscent of Ancient Egypt and Modern Day Society. The resources are plentiful, the monster population is equal to that of the human population making it an ideal safe haven, and with no chance of FERAL activity considering it's located inside a vast ocean made of sand.

Ossla's stomach growls so loud it breaks the sound barrier, and rushes over to the left of the city street to find a merchant and grab herself some food.

They also make some pretty damn good hot dogs.

"What's this?", Ossla rushes over to some food vendors, all of which dressed inexplicably in shady silk materials.

"Oh, you have a good eye for taste, my friend. That would be a special, one of a kind roasted chicken sauteed in mermaid blood. It will prolong your life tenfold-!", a shady female merchant explains with a cheerful tone.

"Seriously? That's gross as shit. What if the mermaid was diseased and her blood was filthy?"

"It's been roasted"

"Where'd you get the mermaid blood for said blood flavored chicken?"


"Ahhh... what about this thing here?"

"That's a hamburger"

"Oh good, that's familiar territory. They had hamburgers all the time back at the spring. Used to roast the meat on the-"

"A Minotaur Hamburger"

"W-What? A Minotaur?"

"Yes, a Minotaur Hamburger"

"-How's it taste?"

"Well... it varies from person to person"
"That's fucked up, dude. You guys cook MINOTAURS? That seems borderline cannibalism"

"No no no, you misunderstand", the shady merchant points towards the back, which is covered in a thick fog of steam.

There's a Minotaur working the grill, wearing an apron and hairnet.

"Oh, it's MADE by a Minotaur. Well, I guess that's sorta cool too?"

"Surprisingly, they're excellent at cooking hamburger meat"

"Uh... an ox girl working a grill cooking cow meat? That seems kinda fucked up too"

"What would I know of such unpleasantness? I'm just a simple merchant. Please, choose something to eat. It all tastes delicious~!"

"Ah- well...", Ossla turns her attention elsewhere, to the merchant shack next to the last, "What's in this one?"

There's an Orc wearing a fake mustache and chef hat tapping her foot eagerly for Ossla's attention.

"Yo! What do you make?"

"Isn't it-a obvious", the Orc girl puts on a fake Italian accent.

"I could fucking guess! Pizz-"


"-age. Cabbage?"

"It's delicious. It's exotic. It's-a healthy as-a could be! Buy-a two! Buy-a three! It'll make your life that much-a better!", the Orc girl twiddles her fake mustache.

"Just cabbage?"

"Cabbage and Apricots. Also Celery. Eat smart, eat S-mart!"

"Er. No.. that's fine"

Ossla double takes, peeking at the two stands with confusion and agitation. She just wants to eat something simple, neither of those stands really have anything that appeals to her. That is until she spots a third stand located in the middle, a straight shot between the two and located backwards away from them.

There's a mysterious woman clad in a pink cloak with long baby blue hair standing idly behind a cooking stand. A usual assortment of condiments and soft drinks can be seen around her crystal ball.

"Sign me up for whatever it is you're cooking, because it smells delicious"

"Princess... Ossla?"
"Yup, that's me. So you make hot dogs? It says you have hot dogs. There's nothing strange about them, right? They're not tofu or they haven't been grilled by a pig girl or something, right?"

"Princess Ossla", the mysterious woman peeks up with a wry glare, "Are you not curious as to how I know your name?"

"Oh yeah, I guess I didn't give it to you. That's some freaky stuff. Anyway, I'll have two hot dogs with ketchup and just a sprinkle of mustard. I can't imagine why people hate eating hot dogs without ketchup. It's fucking DELI. Though maybe honey mustard would taste better..."

"Princess Ossla, you have been cursed with an inescapable destiny. You future was foretold by the very stars above"

"What does the stars say? Ketchup or honey mustard? Dare I say it? BOTH!?"

"You will have the squeeze cheese"

"You know, I'm feeling kinda squeezy. I'll use the cheese instead- WHOOOOOOOOA", Ossla takes a step back, "Are you some sort of hot dog goddess?"

"I am an oracle, young Ossla Toth. Here to instill onto you knowledge of the uncertain future"

"Oh, word?"

The oracle hands the drag a freshly baked hot dog and squeezes the cheese condiment, slathering the food in paste.

"You, Princess Ossla, will be the one to unite the four corners of the desert ocean and set the world on a new path. One of unknown persuasions and exciting possibilities. With untold riches and fame to await you, as one possible future"

"Riches... you say? What kind of riches are we talking about?", Ossla takes a bite of her hot dog.

"Beyond your wildest dreams"

"Oh, how do I acquire these... 'riches'?"

"All will be revealed to you", the oracle reaches inside her pink cloak and pulls out a Persian looking glass bottle filled with blue liquid, "You will take this 'Bottle of Mur' with you"
"I will?"

"This bottle holds the key to your future, within this bottle lays the hope of you and your entire dragonoid race"

"Neat", Ossla takes a bite of her hot dog as she examines the bottle.

"You must treasure it like you treasure every day of your life, until the special moment comes"

"Special moment? How the hell will I know when that comes?"

"You will. It will be at that fated moment, where all will be made clear-!"

"Sort of a save-the-day kind of thing, right? Oh boy, that sounds like it'll come in handy later"

"You may take the hot dog, free of charge, as well as that bottle containing your future. The machinations of the Toth clan is close at hand, the hopes and dreams of your people join with you"

"Ah shit, I think I feel it"

"Then go, Princess Ossla, go and fulfill your destiny"

"I will, you have my thanks, strange oracle lady"

Ossla exits the booth and trips over a single artificial crevice, the bottle slips out of her grasp and crashes into the ground without a care in the world.
pffffffff, i thought jojo was the only one with the suffering.
It's official now. No Ossla end.
Suffering? She got a free hotdog, that's a win in my book.
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Dude, free hot dog.
Pay attention, jeez.
From start to finish these questions have been nothing but passive-aggressive.

> told you, from the QTGs. Something about the only way some girl can be the king of Egypt is if she has a dick. It honestly sounded way too stupid to be true, so I had to confirm.

>That is unnecessary. I look forward to never seeing Bizaare Slime again. Happy questing.

If someone asked me question in a tone like that I would think them an asshole.
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>Hot dog stand
>She didn't asked her about her wiener

Death flag alert.
File deleted.
>> told you, from the QTGs. Something about the only way some girl can be the king of Egypt is if she has a dick. It honestly sounded way too stupid to be true, so I had to confirm.
That one was on me. I honestly thought the QTGs were trolling, like when they say that Shadow Quest is just pedo shit.
I just saved that file because I wanted to ask about it earlier and realized it may have been rude. Pay it no mind. Same with the filename, nabbed it from the QTGs.
They literally had months of threads devoted to em.
Yeah. Bromont's had a hard life. Most artists do.

Makes him an easy target.
Exactly the point.
Easy target.
So you can't feel empathy, seem to prefer playing alone, perform repetitive movements constantly checking this thread, developed specific routines or rituals and becomes disturbed at the slightest change, may be fascinated by details of an object but doesn't understand the "big picture" of the subject, perform activities that could cause self-harm like continually subjugating yourself to ridicule...

Anon, they keep saying you're autistic but I don't want to believe or rest my suspicions on a form of mental illness or simple label. However, your post IS that of an autist, text book in fact. You display the very same symptoms OF a person or persons with autism.

Now, I'm not going to waver what you say BECAUSE you might be autistic, but just know in case you DO have autism, you have my sympathies.
>His life is no harder than anyone elses, he just bitches about it more.
>a bloo bloo i gots sick
>Big fuckin deal. Every few years my life was entirely uprooted and when my family finally settled, it was in some kinda bullshit small town where everyone already knew each other and I was an outsider. I was told that I was better off dead on multiple occasions and the subject of many passed around notes of ridicule simply because I hadn't known everyone since kindergarten.

>Fuck Bromont, he gets what he deserves.

Anon, somebody ASKED Bromont for his life story, and he told it. Nobody asked you for yours, and yet you tell it. Now look, everyone's life isn't easy, and I do think you should see a psychiatrist or something because this isn't exactly healthy.

You obviously need validation and help, maybe /r9k/ or something like that is more your speed rather than /tg/. I'm not trying to insult you, but maybe you're just on the wrong imageboard.
Wouldn't /r9k/ just make it worse?
>And no, I don't feel empathy for Bromont because I never once used my childhood to beg for pity and the fact that he does just plain disgusts me, frankly.

But... you just did
It can't be any worse than /v/. Maybe /soc/ would be better?
He should probably just go hang himself so no board has to deal with that faggot.
Bump for more hot dogs
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"Annette", the red headed fish girl walks next to the princess on a busy city street.

"Athryn, right? How goes the gender smokescreen?"

"It's maintaining well enough, your highness. I thought it wouldn't be too presumptuous of me to ask about your family?"

"That unpleasantry? I dislike talking about my sisters"

"No, more your history, if I may protrude?"


"Like, how Gharma was founded?"

"Why the sudden interest?"

"I've never been to a city like this before, I didn't even know it existed. I hail from an underwater city beneath the New Atlantic, a far cry from a mishmash of modern culture and Ancient Egyptian marvels"

Annette scratches her pale lips, deciding whether or not it's worth her time and energy. The cleric gives her a sincere look, a smile could be seen beneath the creases of her mask showing she's atleast genuinely interested.

"Why not simply search the N.I.L.E. for information?", Annette waves off the Sea Bishop.

"The N.I.L.E.? I don't really wish to go back there-"

"No. Not -THAT-. The N.I.L.E.'s sorta of like a hyperfast internet. You're already connected to it, you were connected the moment you set foot in this city. Or fin. Whatever, whichever terminology you prefer"

"Couldn't I hear it from you yourself? I'd like that very much"
"If you insist, Athryn", the princess stops around the corner of an alley clad in glass-like materials, thousands of marbles circulating around inside each individual square like a gumball machine.

"So however was a city founded in the middle of this scorching grainy hell?"

"Around 200 years ago, my great great grandmother, the first in the line of new Pharaohs, awoke from inside that pyramid below the one I live in. Having no prior memories, thanks to centuries of slumber, she rekindled the sparks from within her and set forth to create a new civilization. The sands shifted underneath her, water and vegetation grew wherever she stepped, like a gift from the Gods. Or rather, maybe she was one herself. Whatever the case may be, she was a Pharaoh born"

"Humble beginnings, I see"

"But. Just as my great great grandmother awoke, so did something else. Inside an oasis surrounded by Greek pillars, a snake woman, a dark-colored serpent with the power of the nether realm within herself awoke. A vile and bold creature with long cervical ribs capable of expanding to form a hood, her name was Apophis. This creature would take away the life of all it touched, leaving nothing but a trail of purple venom in it's wake. It was like a mirror of good and evil, like all good nonsense goes"

"I suppose they did not see eye to eye?"

"Of course not, Apophis and her hideous offspring were nothing but a bunch of puerile trash. A plague on civilization. The only thing they brought with them was suffering and despair while my ancestor brought nothing but salvation and hope"

"Did they try to... atleast talk their differences away?"

"Talk with a serpent that spreads death like a disease? Quit being naive. My ancestor ripped Apophis apart with her light magic, building the very foundation of this city upon that trash's carcass. I'm certain whatever servants are left are out there plotting their revenge to this very day, just as sure as the sun will rise the next morning"
>Those individuals who find a husband before attacking a pharaoh, which was supposed to be their entire reason for existing, completely lose interest.
Easy final boss. Chuck Zeke at her and run.
"Have they attacked before?"

"Of course they tried, they seek to enslave the human citizens of this city and dwindle our precious resources. They bite monsters and people with their venom and inject terrible things inside, poisoning their minds to the point of no return. Effectively a mindbreaking agent. Like a pack of roaches hurdling behind the darkness of a refrigerator, they await for the moment the sun shines no more"

"Oh. That's... Well.", Athryn gives the princess a disapproving look, "Perhaps it's because I've never met a servant of Apophis, but don't you think their position is a tad bit pitiable?"

"Fuck Apophis. As soon as I'm Pharaoh, I look forward to wiping off any followers still graveling in the night", Annette waves off the Sea Bishop's words with little care.

"You know", Lily begins to speak up as she invades the conversation, "Don't you think it's a little weird?"

"Do I think WHAT is a little weird?"

"That we've been outside the city TWICE and we haven't come back to see it on fire with something important stolen or missing?"

"What in the seven realms of Ra are you blabbering about?"

"Nevermind", Lily skips with her hands behind her back, "Just thinking aloud, is all"
"Hey, you. Shortie", Jojo opens up conversation with the braided white haired Dhampir.

"Oh, hey. 'Mister Jojo', right?", Ivy responds to the lancer quite openly.

"Jones Johnson. Or Johnson Jones. Even I can't rightfully remember sometimes", Jojo snaps to immediately upon realizing he's trailing off, "So you're a VAMPIRE, right?"

"Well, not really"

"How come you're standing here in the sunlight? Don't you burst up into ash or sparkle or something like that?"

"Dhampir, Mister Jojo. I'm only half vampire. Sunlight stings, but it doesn't burn"

"Ridiculous. Half a vampire is still a vampire, Shortie"

"I guess...", Ivy stares straight ahead sternly, "Jeez, Mary. I really hoped people wouldn't hold that against me"

"Nah. After the way you saved my ass in the wrestling ring? Wouldn't even dream of it", the Dragoon kindly looks down upon the strange little dhampir and nods.

"So it won't bother you, then?", Ivy looks up modesty, asking with sincerity.

"Hey. Forget it. You're just a small fry with marshmallow colored hair to me"

"That sounded like an insult"

"It sure didn't sound like a compliment, did it? Sorry, things sorta pop out some times-"

"Oh hey! So you're forgiving people for being certain monster girls!?", Ossla slides into the scene on one foot, "Could you give me that heart to heart speech you gave Zeke? I've wanted a father figure my entire li-"

"Bitch, you look like a scaly Hatsune Miku"

"Uh?", Ossla goes slightly cross eyed, "Well, that's a start-?"
Speaking of Zeke, the boy in question finds himself increasingly intrigued by the prospect of the new party member. He slides to the front next to Kakra to gain an audience with the fabled 'Brown Fairy'.

"...", Zeke stares intensely into Kakra's side.

"----", Kakra does a double take and stares right back at the boy.

"...So how does this work...?"

"How does what-?"

"...Jiii...", Zeke chants out loud as his staring intensifies, "Do I rub them to summon the fairy?"

"The fuck did you just say?", the frizzy pink haired Dullahan begins to grind her teeth.


The fairy girl pops her head out of Kakra's cleavage with a ditzy sheepish look on her face.

"Hiiii...", Niia crudely greets the boy.

"Hi! Your name is Niia, right?"

"And your name is Poon Tank McFrank...?"

"My name is Zeke Northwind"

"Poon Tank sounds soooo much easier to remember"

"Whatever. Say, you're old friends with Annette, right?"

"I'M friends with Annette RIGHT NOW", Kakra speaks out with a pissed tone.

"Nobody asked you, wide load"

"Yeah, me and her go waaaaay back. Or her and I. I and her. Stuff...", Niia raises her arm and twirls her tiny index finger around.
"What was she like... 'then'? "

"The same... except she had cornrows"


"Kidding~... she had a side ponytail"

"That's... better?"

"Yeah", Niia gives the boy a perverse smile, "That's better"

"Look. I wanna know some stuff. She's really hard to read. Sometimes she's cold and calculating, sometimes she's overbearing and caring. What's with that-?"


Kakra crosses her arms over her breasts and shoots the boy a foul look.

"Stop talking to my breasts, you little twerp"

"Yeah? Well. Maybe if your breasts didn't talk back, I wouldn't be TALKING TO THEM"

"Oh ho~? Maybe you just miss your mama's tits so badly you have to find underhanded ways to see breasts?"

"Don't insult my mom, you fat assed dyke"

"Don't insult my ass, you hyperactive jizz berry"

"Jeez, just fuck already", Niia slips back down between Kakra's cleavage, "Goddamn"
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The party reaches the sandy bay housing Rakenmire upon exiting the Golden Road, and there was much rejoicement.

"Yaaaay... Rakenmire"
"Fucking love Rakenmire"

"AND I FUCKING LOVE YOU, FRIENDS OF OLD", the giant flying manta ray grabs the entire part with his fin and hugs them, "YOU MAKE MY CLASPERS ROCK SOLID WITH ADVENTUROUS MIGHT!"

"What's a clasper...", Ivy looks to the party, slightly creeped out and distressed, "Mary? Do you have any idea?"

"I DON'T RECOGNIZE THE ALBINO", Rakenmire puts on a pair of reading glasses, "Was she INDEED with you last time?"

"There's ten of us now, Mister Rakenmire. We've taken on a Dhampir and a Fairy", Zeke sets the record straight.


"Uh, what?"


"...Romanticized? Zeke, what is this thing talking about?", Annette looks over towards the boy.

Zeke shakes his hands around wildly trying to signal the manta ray to shut up, "Rakenmire, MHM MHM"


"...Oh... Oh god, stop", Zeke covers his face as it lights up.

"Keep any unpleasantness to yourselves, would you?", Annette's sullen gaze trails off in annoyance.

"Is there even enough room on that thing to support the entire party...", Athryn mummers to herself/himself, though caringly.


"Golden.", Adena responds sarcastically, being the first one to board Rakenmire.

"Super Golden!", Ivy joins Adena's side without hesitation.

"Gold and Silver", Ossla scratches her spats rudely as she crawls on Rakenmire's back.

"THEN LET US BE OFF, TO ADVENTURE!", Rakenmire roars out like a passionate author reading his works aloud to a room of children.

"Where are we going..."
[x] Consult the narcoleptic fairy
We did go through the trouble of bringing her.
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"Hey Zeke", Athryn starts up a conversation with the boy sitting Indian style precariously towards the back.

"Huh? Yo, dude. What's up?"

"Nothing at all, really. I'm just curious as to how you're holding up?"

"I'm alright."

"Are you quite sure? You've been through a fair amount of trauma. Frankly, I'm very surprised you're still traveling abroad with us"

"It takes my mind off things.", the boy answers back very disinterested.

"You kidding me? This little scamp LOVES this adventuring shit", Lily butts into the conversation with a reassuring wink.

"Oh...", Athryn's red hair is blowing wildly around her exposed forehead, "Is that why you're still with us? Interested in adventure, Zeke?"

"I'm not so sure anymore", the boy mutters out in a defeated voice.

"A-Ah.. hah.. well...", Athryn looks around nervously, a little bothered by the boy's wounded tone, "You wouldn't believe the things I had to jump through during the N.I.L.E.! When we were separated-"

"----", Zeke looks off to the side, the disinterested look on his face wavers.

"No no... let's not talk about that place. Let's talk about something else?", the reverse trap Sea Bishop taps the side of her head, "Ah! How about.. uh.. your mother? You seem to hold her close to your heart?"

"Well yeah, me and my mom are buds. You and your mom aren't?", Zeke gives the fish girl a semi-convoluted face.

"Yeah, sure. We're... 'tight'? Am I using that word correctly?"

"Close enough"

"Is she.. strict? Caring? Funny? I'm looking at you and it's really hard to understand your upbringing"

"She's strict, I guess... but she's alright. She's the only person who's really been by my side my entire life... of course, doi. When other people were looking down on me for being obnoxious or toying with old stuff, she stood by me and encouraged me. She told me I wasn't like a bull in a china shop, just that I had a lot of spirit. Don't talk shit about my mother, alright?"
"Have you been keeping in contact with her throughout this whole... 'thing'?"

"Me and Mister Jojo call our families every time we come back to Gharma and tell them 'everything'. For some reason, Jojo has a really hard time reaching his. That sucks hard, because I think he's a pretty good dad"

"Your mother, is she human too?"

"No, she's a lamia. Her scales are indigo, which look pretty cool. I have a snake woman for a mother. That shit always makes me smile. How about you?"


"That's rough, man"

"Heh heh, tell me about it"

As Athryn and Zeke converse in the back, on the front of Rakenmire, Adena and Ivy sit while Kakra's breasts issues order to the Manta Ray.

"Um, Adena?"


"What's it like?"

"You'll have to be more specific"

"Shooting fireballs and throwing ice and stuff?"

"It's a lot like shooting fireballs and throwing ice and stuff"

"Hahaha, you're funny"

"I wasn't trying to be"

"But really, what's your favorite magic spell?"

"The kind that makes people die quicker"

"See, if I were you? I'd teleport, throw three fire balls, then teleport and throw three fire balls again. Then switch it up with a ball of gravity or a second, more monstrous form! It'd be so hilarious"

"Ivy, do you think we're FRIENDS or something absurd like that?"

"Well, we just kinda met recently, but I feel like you're pretty cool"

"Do you think reciting pages after pages of ancient text ad infinitum is cool? Do you think spending hours or days figuring out the decomposition of complex elements and chemical flow charts is fun?"

"Well, if you're doing it, then yeah. Fuck yeah"

"You must be one very lonely or one very repressed individual"
Ivy gives the sorceress a sour look then looks downwards, "Why do you wear that cloak thing?"

"Why what, now?"

"Well... there's a big slit down the middle. Aren't you afraid somebody might see your girls?"

"It's a matter of preference"

"I think I can see your downstairs too..."

"Look, it's from my mid-bossing days. There's an unwritten law that states women like me must wear things like this when in said service. It's tradition."

"You think...", Ivy rubs her chin with her right eyebrow extended, "You think I could rock that?"

"No. Only I am allowed to 'rock that'. You have your own matter of preference accustomed to your petite physique"

"We should totally do a switcheroo. Haven't you ever wondered what it'd be like to be fat?"

"Ivy. I swear to God"

"Fat girl in skinny jeeeeans. Fat girl in skinny jeeeeans~"

"----", Adena's cold eyes begin to twitch with agitation. But, miraculously, is followed by a, unsightly snicker, "Okay, you're right. Dare I say it, that would be hilarious"

Meanwhile, next to Annette and Kakra...

"We've been flying for thirty minutes now", Kakra mutters out, annoyed by the fairy snoring inside her chest.

"Forest of Lightning is on the very edge of the sand ocean. It's even further considering we're taking the back entrance", the Princess digs her chin into an open palm, "Doesn't make this any less repetitive"

"With the fairy periodically taking naps in her... 'napsack'. I'm beginning to wonder if she really knows where we're going each time she awakens", Kakra explains with her neck smoke blowing in the wind, "You understand where I'm coming from?"

"I understand. But what do you want me to do about it?", Annette politely asks her right hand man.

"Iunno, ask for directions?"
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"Ask for directions? From whom? We're in the middle of a ocean of sand"

"Maybe we'll see a sandworm girl or something like that-"


The two immediately spot a mysterious individual heavily cloaked in sandy rags, sludging through the middle of the desert as if he were stranded.

"What a convenient find-!", Kakra snaps her fingers with excitement.

"Lucky for us and him. But what would a single person be doing so far out here in the middle of the desert...? Let's ask with caution, alright?"

"He's waving us down!"

The party flies Rakenmire as close to the mysterious stranger as possible, being careful not to get a face full of sand.

The stranger stands on two feet, but with two foreign looking flaps sticking out of his head that resemble ears tied back. It is a sentient amphibious humanoid, with rough skin unlike that of a human. Its arms end in four-fingered hands, and its feet possess three stubby toes each. It's face has a tough yet flexible bill for burrowing and rooting out food. The tongue is long and muscular with teeth both large and blunt.

And his name is Jar Jar Binks.

"ANNY!", the creature throws off it's hood, "MEESA SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU!"


"MY BREASTS!", Jar jar shows off it's chest, "MEGASSA SQUEEZE THEM, OKEY DAY?"


The entire party screams out in sheer horror, throttling Rakenmire out of there so fast it breaks the sound barrier.
Burn the surrounding area. It's the only way to be sure the creature does not live.

Nuke the area from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
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Jesus christ how terrifying
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Sandworm when?

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