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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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From the mind that brought you the heresy that was the Gentle Dark Eldar, I bring you a new tale of love and mutants. Our story this time revolves around one Astra, a heavily mutated guardswoman that was inspired from here: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/26500691

Now, of note, I have taken a few creative liberties with the original character that was presented in that thread. Also, as with Fallen from Grace, don't go into this expecting spank material.

One thing before I begin - I imagined Astra as being a biological version of pic related, with perhaps more "tasteful" clothing.
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“I’m telling you man, this freak was unreal! Mowed down half a dozen guys, and then kept going after taking a krak grenade to the face!”

“Yeah, right. Next thing you’ll tell us is that the Christmas Astartes is real. Pass the Lho’s, would ya?”

As the gangers shared a laugh, huddled around a lit barrel outside the compound’s main gate, a shadow shifted in a nearby alleyway. Seconds later, a massive chunk of rubble soared through the air, landing on top of the group before any could react. Screaming in agony, the sole survivor desperately began tugging at his trapped leg, only looking up when a shadow loomed over him. His face went pale as a ghost, eyes the size of dinner plates, as he stammered, “ T..The ff…fuck are you?” The shadow leaned down, gigantic, purple eyes coming into view as tentacles slithered from the mutant’s sleeves. “I’m your worst nightmare…” came the low reply, right before the freakish appendages slipped around the man’s neck, snapping it instantly.
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>>26547801

Releasing her hold, Astra stood, glancing about the area as she quickly clambered over the chain-link fence. “Good,” she thought, dropping to the other side with a muffled thunk, “No problems yet.” This was short lived, however, as numerous scum ran out from the building, brandishing las carbines and shotguns. In response, Astra’s “arms” slithered out once more, this time each wielding either a revolver or las pistol in its’ grasp. Four in all, she wasted no time in returning the fire that was directed at her, not even wincing as the lasers and bullets impacted her flesh.

“I don’t care if you have to shove a grenade up your collective asses! GET OUT THERE AND KILL THAT THING!” The men in the hive boss’ office departed, only for their corpses to be thrown through the door not moments later. Stunned, the ganger leader found himself opposite the hulking form of Astra, blood dripping down her limbs as two of her pistols leveled themselves at his face. “Where is she?” growled Astra, the boss sneering in response. “Your friend? I threw that piece of shit away, just like I should have done to yo…” He never finished his sentence, his brains scattering across the wall as both weapons discharged. Walking over to the mangled body, Astra unloaded twice more into the remnants of his head, whispering, “That’s for Miss Casona.”
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>>26547812

After extricating herself from the former drug house, Astra wandered back to her home in the underhive. Though it was late, the few individuals that she came across quickly scampered out of the way, for fear of the bleeding, crying monstrosity that was lumbering towards them. By the time she reached the cardboard box that made up her abode, Astra had stopped weeping for her lost friend. Sitting beneath the flimsy material, she removed the arm she had taken from one of the gangers from her pack, chewing on it slowly. As she did, her wounds began to heal, the abnormal regeneration taking effect. Even though this was nothing new, something she had lived with her entire life, the entire affair still revolted her. Only consuming enough meat such that her injuries were no longer causing her great pain, Astra laid down, pulling the tablecloth that was her bed sheet over herself. Her last thought, before drifting off to sleep, was that she’d need to find a new sock and wires to make a new friend with.

The next thing Astra was aware of was the world shaking around her, rousing her to consciousness. Bolting upright, she came to realize that a robbed figure was outside, speaking to someone that she couldn’t see. “That’s right. Tore through the entire gang without a sweat. No, I haven’t made contact yet. Yes, see to it that she has a room out of the way, wouldn’t want the others to be unnerved.” Sticking her head out, Astra came to realize that the woman before her was not only a psyker, but an Inquisitor, judging from her clothing’s various marking and the rosette displayed on her upper chest. Dread filled Astra, worrying that the only reason such a pious authority figure hadn’t yet cleansed her for being a blight on the Empire was because they needed something. And when it came to the Inquisition, sometimes that something was worse than death, if the rumors were to be believed.
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>>26547818

Before Astra could react any further, the woman bent down to her eye level. Smiling, she began, “Well there, hello. I’m sorry I had to wake you up, but you’ve got a rather nasty bunch of gangers out looking for you. Any reason for that?” Astra gulped, eyes cast aside from the Inquisitor’s face, “N…No Mma’am. I mean, yes, yes Ma’am.” Her awkward stammering was met with laughter, “Well, which is it then?” Astra’s eyes narrowed. She didn’t much like feeling embarrassed, since that was all she ever had been allowed to feel since birth. Yet, as she bit her upper lip, this wasn’t a bunch of thrown rocks and insults. This was a person of authority, someone she had to bow her head to and obey, leaving her with little choice but to restrain herself. “Yes Ma’am. I…I may have killed some of their friends.”

“And why did you go and do a thing like that?”

“They had taken one of *my* friends.”

Silence fell over the pair, then the Inquisitor stood, offering out a hand. “Well, let’s just say you’ve impressed me for the time being. I’m willing to give you a chance, though your other option is to stay here and be blasted to bits.” Astra’s eyes roved between the woman’s face and her outstretched hand. “She’s right”, Astra thought, “ I *don’t* have much choice in the matter, do I?” Extending her own arm, the tentacles formed a makeshift hand, which the Inquisitor used to haul her upright. “Welcome to the Inquisition, Astra.”

(End Prologue)
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>end prologue
Not bad.. not bad at all.
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>>26547833

(I think I always end up shooting myself in the foot when I say that there won't be any lewdness. Feels like that's all /tg/ wants these days)

Apprehension and fear gripped Astra as the tip of her right tentacle hovered over the door’s controls. It had been a full day since she had been picked up from the slum where she used to reside, and, in the time since, she had only briefly seen her fellow acolytes in the hallways before being whisked away to her new room. “Even here, I’m treated like an outcast. Suppose that was to be expected though,” she muttered, finally summoning up the courage to open the door. As “nice” as her new room was (if you could call the glorified broom closet a room), it was time for her to eat, and there didn’t seem to be any chance of room service.

Donning her new hooded cloak and robes, Astra shyly wandered the hallways of the Inquisitor’s ship, searching for the cafeteria. The brightness of the stark white corridors nearly blinded her at first, but her oversensitive eyes adjusted by the time she found the mess hall. Inside, three of her fellow acolytes were playing cards on a table in the back: a tech priest, an adept, and an arbitrator. She could feel the hardened gaze of at least two pairs of eyes trying to burn a hole in her as she shuffled inside, meekly getting a small quantity of raw meat before taking up her own table. Resolutely staring only at her plate, Astra began to eat, only to have her willpower severely tested moments later. “Ughhh… look at it. Does it *have* to eat here of all places? Just looking at it makes me sick,” came the voice of the adept. He was from a noble family, probably never even left his cushiony palace in the upper hive, or so Astra guessed, anyways. “Can’t you do anything about her Max?”
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>>26550584

Honestly, storytime that isn't porn is a nice change, and you write decent feel-good stuff. Keep up the good work.
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>>26550584

The arbitrator scoffed, “Wish I could. But you know how it is – Inquisitor’s word is law around here. We’re not to harm her in any way.” Astra paused, taking a sip of water before resuming her small feast. So the Inquisitor had stuck up for her somewhat, awfully nice of her. In her experience, though, such “kindness” was only worth as much as the favor that it precluded. Mutants like her weren’t allowed to exist outside of the carefully maintained pens that most called the underhive, for fear of their blight further spreading throughout the populace. “Watch for the Mutant,” “Defile the Mutant,” “Kill the Mutant,” all litanies that had been hammered into every Imperial citizen from birth.

Neither of those hurt as much as, “The Mutant bears their heresy on the outside,” though. Astra had always been a devout worshipper of the Emperor, her only crime having been born the genetic freak that had somehow lived through all the hatred around her. Lost in this chain of thought, she hardly noticed that the adept and arbitrator had left their table, coming to stand opposite her. “Look at it Max, absolutely repulsive. Do you think it can talk?” The adept leaned in, talking slow, as if to a child or xenos, “Mutant. Can. You. Understand. Me?” Just ignore him, thought Astra, you’ve had worse thrown at you, literally. Frowning as he failed to get a rise out of her, the adept reached down and flipped her tray of food upon her, laughing, “There, now it looks and smells better. Come along, Max.” The pair departed, leaving Astra staring down at the table where her tray used to be.
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>>26550808

It wasn’t often that such behavior affected her, but the stress of the last few days had worn down her usual composure. Tears began to stream down her face, muffled sobs coming from her throat as she slowly began cleaning herself up. She had completely forgotten the room’s other occupant, until he spoke up on his own way out some ten minutes later, “Apologies, mutant. Others are quick to judge. Label based on outward appearance. This one knows that often the best machine spirits are hidden beneath decades of rust. Do not let them bother you.” Before she could reply, let alone jump in surprise, he was gone, leaving her alone. She wasn’t sure, not having had the “pleasure” of talking to a mech-head before, but she was almost certain that was a vote of confidence.

Later that evening, Astra found herself playing with her new dolls, reenacting the scene from earlier. “Look at me!” began the old shoe that represented the adept, “I’m a big showoff who can’t do anything by himself!” “You’re right!” added the spoon arbitrator, “And it’s my job to make sure you get to keep being an ass.” “Hold on there!” shouted the tech priest, his analogue a bent metal pipe with wires tied about it, “You all should leave Astra alone!” This continued for some time, each “character” bickering back and forth while Astra mimed their movements. By the end of it, she found herself crying once more, wishing that she had chosen to remain in her cardboard box, where it was safe.
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>>26550969

A soft knock at her door momentarily broke the downward spiral of depressing thoughts. Wiping her eyes, Astra gingerly rose from her bed, tapping the door open. The hallway outside was devoid of any life, but there was a strange object on the floor. Extending a tentacle to pick it up, Astra carefully took up the stuffed grox before closing the door. Attached was a note, simply reading, “This is Tom. You can use him more than I can right now.” She clutched it tight, the weight on her heart growing as she resumed her lamenting. She didn’t deserve this sort of kindness, and she had no clue who to thank for it.

(End of Chapter One)
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>>26551091

I'm liking where this is going; also find myself wondering how deep Astra's symbolism of the dolls goes. Nice work Varia, you're a pretty cool guy
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>>26551159

Sometimes, shoes are just shoes. But you know me, always finding ways to make old stuff relevant.

In other news, we need a name for this new pile of uber-heresy. Dunno if I'll get around to Ch 2 tonight, but you never know.
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I saw the pick and then the beginning of the first post and pretty much went "Yes. Yes! YESYESYESYES" You get the idea.

This is going to be good.
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>>26551429
And sometimes, the Mutant Girl needs hugs.
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This is interesting and I'm definitely looking forward to more.
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>>26551091

(I feel like this has a lot more build-up than Fallen From Grace, but I guess that happens when you only have the one character to focus on)

The following day, Astra was summoned to the Inquisitor’s office for a briefing with her fellow cell members. Wanting to leave a good first impression with her new “family,” she did her best to tame her red locks and overall appearance, even going so far as to shine her new boots. Though the incident from the day prior was still fresh in her mind, part of Astra was giddy about officially starting her new life. It was unheard of for an abomination like her to be given a chance like this, and she wasn’t going to let the intolerance that had followed her her entire life ruin it.

As it turned out, Astra was the first one to arrive to the conference room. Taking a seat in the back, she waited patiently with her arms crossed beneath the sleeves of the robes. Though the room was far too bright for comfort, she felt it best not to hide beneath her cowl. After all, she was facing an uphill battle as it was, the last thing she needed to do was reinforce the notion that she was a hideous monster. Time seemed to crawl by, and soon Astra began worrying that she had somehow gotten the wrong room and possibly time. Her worries were alleviated when a pair of guardsmen entered, followed shortly thereafter by a scum and the tech priest from yesterday.
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>>26547796
>sample
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>>26556198

All but the later avoided her eager gaze, taking seats as far away from her as possible. As for the tech priest, he waved at Astra with one of his mechadendrites before taking a seat somewhere between her and the rest of the group. In the end, he would be the only one to even show signs of acknowledging her presence, the remaining two cell members joining moments before the Inquisitor herself walked in. Cringing slightly as the adept’s malicious eyes roved over her, his arbitrator buddy close in tow, Astra found herself slowly placing the hood of her robes back over her face. Though the cloth barrier provided little comfort, it was enough to prevent the sinking feeling in her chest from growing further. “Positive thinking,” she thought, “after all, the Inquisitor stuck up for you before.”

The briefing was rather simple in nature, more of a formal introduction of the acolytes to one another than anything else. Still, Astra did learn a few things, ranging from the fact they were part of the Ordo Xenos to their eventual destination. By the time the Inquisitor had drawn to a close, Astra had all but forgotten the earlier glares, and was feeling slightly happier before the adept’s hand shot up. The Inquisitor raised an eyebrow, calling on him, “Yes, Acolyte?” “Ma’am, I was just wondering why we’re letting a heretic hear all this.” An awkward silence fell over the room, punctuated only by the occasional snicker and glance back at Astra.

(On a scale of 1-10, how badly do you hate the adept?)
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>>26556559
Well he's a dick, but we hardly know him. So 4 or so, and Astra would be used to this sort of treatment even if he is a jerkface.
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>>26556559
I strongly dislike him. I know it's expected for such strongly warped mutants, but damn, he could at least make an effort not to be the class dickhead.

I'll go with a 6
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>>26556559
I'd put him down for a 5. He's been really rude, but who wouldn't be when they've been indoctrinated to despise anyone who is "different." I have hopes that he'll get better with time.
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>>26556559

Just as Astra was ready to say something in her own defense, the Inquisitor coughed, “Your fellow Acolyte is not a heretic, Kreff. You might try appreciating her unique skillset, rather than berating her for existing. You might *all* try it, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to play babysitter. Either get along, or I’ll see to it that you’re ‘reassigned.’” Following this statement, the Inquisitor left in a huff, leaving the acolytes muttering amongst themselves. In the back of the room, Astra was still frozen in fear, her mind yelling at her to leave while her body refused to move. Face firmly locked staring at the floor before her, it wasn’t until a gloved hand entered her field of view that Astra dared raising her head.

It turned out that the hand belong to the tech priest, a warm sort of glee emanating from beneath his rebreather. “This one thought you might wish to take a walk. Clear your mind,” he offered. More laughter from those acolytes that were still present followed this, along with whispers of, “Look at Gaelos, trying to talk to it like it has feelings.” Neither seemed to bother him, as he stood there, patiently waiting for Astra’s reply. Stammering, she managed to squeak out, “Y..Yes. That w..would be nice.” After helping her stand, the warmth behind Gaelos’ eyes seemed to increase as he motioned for her to follow him. The pair made to leave, though not before Astra felt the sensation of something bouncing off her back. “See? It knows its’ place. Who needs to pretend like it’s anything more than a bullet sponge?” boasted Kreff, more laughter from the rest following it. Astra paused for a moment, thinking of turning around and laying into him, but was stopped by Gaelos. “Let it go,” he whispered, “that one will come around, in time.”
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>>26556922

Astra felt her anger subsiding as Gaelos led her through the corridors, only halfheartedly paying attention. She knew that Kreff and the others were just trying to get a rise out of her so they would have an excuse to put her down, but that didn’t make dealing with it any easier. Lost in a myriad of depressing thoughts, it wasn’t until she bumped into Gaelos’ back that Astra realized he had stopped. “We are here,” he stated, motioning towards the window. Outside, the twinkling stars punctuated the darkness of the void, causing Astra to momentarily forget her sorrows. She had never seen such a beautiful sight before, having lived in the underhive her entire life.

“It’s…It’s pretty,” she mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed at what felt like naivety. “Indeed,” came Gaelos’ reply, “It is rather aesthetically pleasing.” Astra blushed, if only for the fact that this was the longest conversation she had with a “normal” person that didn’t involve screaming, insults, rocks, or all three. Eventually, Gaelos made to leave, but not before adding, “How is Tom doing?” Surprised, Astra found herself only able to meekly reply, “He’s…nice. Thank you.” Again, the warmth increased, and Gaelos left her standing by the window with a pleasant goodbye. All Astra could think of was how awkward she was, her face nearly crimson in embarrassment as she stared out at the stars.
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Is there the possibility of getting pic sauce?
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>>26556977

Shortly thereafter, Astra wandered back to her room, where she remained for the rest of the day. Again, she took up the seemingly haphazard collection of knick-knacks that served as her dolls and began acting out scene after scene. Though she knew it was rather childish for a woman her age to still play pretend, doing so helped her relax and relieve some of the feelings that so often seemed to become trapped within her. After having Gaelos vanquish Kreff, she paused, her eyes falling upon Tom. Placing her dolls aside, she took up the stuffed grox, her tentacles wrapping around it gingerly as she hugged it close. The day hadn’t been the best start to her new life, but at least she had a friend now, and that was all that mattered to her.

(End of Chapter Two. Still need a story name)
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>>26557038
http://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1461646?tags=tentacles

Is where I originally got it from. You have no idea how hard it is to find SFW work that fits her description -.-
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>>26557040
The Heretical Tentacle?

Fear the Mutant?
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>>26557067
Believe me, I know. It's why i ended using that loli pic in the thread where this character was introduced to /tg/

I wish I had a story title for you, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment
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>>26557067

You've given me a whole new gallery to save and (possibly) Fap to.
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>>26557254
>possibly
Why lie?
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>>26557254
>he didn't know about Danbooru

Get to saving and fapping, son. You've got over at least 100K images to work through.
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>>26557186
Oh hey, OP of the other thread. Have I butchered your idea completely yet?

>>26557456
It's too late, he's already gone.
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>>26557494
Nah, not completely yet. I like thew story so far though
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Rolled 28

>>26557550

Cool, cool. I decided to divest where I did so that it didn't feel like I was forcing an established character down a line she may not have gone down.

Also, rolling to see what I work on next:

1-33 = Chapter 3
34-67 = Fallen from Grace Epilogue
68-89 = Other writefaggotry
90-100 = A lewd scene, much as I hate myself for writing them
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>>26557605
oh, bitchin
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>>26557605
But, but, lewdness.
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>>26557605
I know it's a crappy name, but how about Mutant Affair? Until someone comes up with something better, it works as a placeholder.
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>>26558422

I may be motivated with appropriate drawfaggotry.

>>26558670
Something to note it in the archives with at least.

>>26557040
“What about entering here, by the alleyway?”

“Too exposed, we’d be dead before making it halfway to the gate.”

“So, what, our options basically boil down to certain death?”

“I don’t see *you* coming up with anything better.”

The acolytes had been arguing back and forth for what seemed like hours over a map of the training grounds. Earlier that week, the Inquisitor had sent around orders that she wished them to develop a sense of teamwork and cohesion, though little had come of it so far. Astra was relegated to sit silently in the back during these sessions, or ignored entirely, even if her ideas were sound. Not for lack of trying, of course, but there was only so much of Kreff’s back-handed insults she could stomach in one sitting. What frustrated her the most was the obvious solution they were all missing, simply because they refused to see her as a person, or even ask what she was capable of.

“What if we sent *it* in first?” mused one of the guardsmen, jabbing at the alleyway again. “If it soaks up enough fire, we might be able to get to gate with minimal casualties.”

Kreff nodded, a wicked smile coming over his face, “I like it, solves two of our problems in one fell swoop. Let’s gear up and try it out.” As the rest of the acolytes filed out, Astra sighed, standing and walking over to the map to refresh her memory of the layout. It was a rather simple exercise: a package needing extraction was surrounded by gangers (played by gun servitors with stun rounds) in a warehouse. Not unlike most places in the underhive, she was able to note several gaps in the mock surveillance net. Smiling, Astra left the room, knowing that this was the perfect opportunity to prove her worth and show up that prissy adept.
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>>26558688

Rather than insert with the rest of her team, Astra slipped into the shadows farther along the street. She voxed Gaelos, deciding to let the rest of her cell think she was simply preparing for her part, “Tell them I’m getting into position, and that Kreff is a prick.” A simple acknowledgement followed, allowing her to focus on the task before her. In order to get past the servitors, she would have to carefully time when she burst through the wall of the warehouse. Too early, and she’d be caught on the way out. Too late, and she’d be eating a substantial amount of stun rounds. As she stared at the patrolling automatons from a nearby roof, a sudden stroke of inspiration hit her. This would be easier than she thought.

Elsewhere, the other acolytes waited impatiently for the sound of gunfire, signaling that Astra had begun the assault. “What in the Emperor’s name is that mutant doing?” grumbled Kreff, idly playing with the safety to his bolt revolver. “Don’t tell me it doesn’t even have the courage to face mock death bravely?” The rest of the group, save Gaelos, mumbled their agreement. “Well, at least this gives us an excuse to discipline her later,” added Max, tapping the baton strapped to his leg for emphasis. It was then that the training ground’s lights dimmed, then flickered out entirely.
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>>26558896

With cries of alarm, the acolytes found themselves surrounded by darkness, unable to see past their own noses. “What in blazes,” began Kreff, “don’t tell me the deck’s lost power!” A laugh emanated from Gaelos in response, “Negative, all systems are functioning as they should be.” Before Kreff could argue the seemingly contradictory statement, the lights snapped back on. Before the group stood Astra, holding the package that served as the goal. Wincing at her sudden appearance, Kreff demanded, “What the hell is that? What the hell did you do?” She tossed him the box, turning around and waving a tentacle over her shoulder as she left the training grounds. “Your plan was shit, so I modified it. Don’t wait up.” This time, it was Kreff who was the subject of the group’s laughter, leaving him fuming beyond the ability to form coherent sentences.

Later that evening, as the cell convened in the mess hall for dinner, Astra found herself joined by Gaelos and one of the guardsmen. Introducing himself properly, Julo reached out a hand, “Sorry about doubting you earlier. Can we start over?” Astra glanced between his face and hand, taking it with a tentacle and shaking it slowly after a moment’s consideration. “Of course. I may look like a monster, but that doesn’t mean I act like one.” This warranted a laugh from both men, especially as it had the added effect of causing Kreff to slam his drink down onto the table some distance away. “Kid’s got a right temper, doesn’t he?” mused Julo, causing Astra to laugh for the first time in what felt like years.
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>>26559059

Gaelos’ mechadendrites chittered in response, “You have finally smiled. This is a good sign. Was worried.” “Aye,” added Julo, “you’ve been right glum since day one. Not without good cause, I suppose, but still.” Blushing, Astra shoveled a fresh helping of meat into her face, trying to hide behind the fold of her cowl. It was true, she certainly felt better now than she had in a long time. Still, as she quickly finished her meal and awkwardly excused herself, she wasn’t quite ready to let go of the careful shell she had built up around her. “In all due time,” she thought to herself, pressing Tom against her chest after returning to her room. With her spare tentacles, she mimed Julo’s doll, a bit of metal chain, joining Gaelos’ in praising her. Astra became lost in the fantasy, not even noticing the knocks on her door and the subsequent woosh of air as it opened.

“Curious. What is the purpose of this exercise?” asked Gaelos, causing Astra to nearly hit the ceiling as she scrambled to hide her dolls. “N…Nothing! It was nothing! Please don’t tell anyone! Please! I don’t want to have to make new friends…” Her lower lip quivered, mortified that she had been caught playing pretend. It was all she could do to squeeze Tom and wrap herself with her tentacles, staring dejectedly at the floor while Gaelos looked about her room. “Apologies for the abrupt entry. Needed to give you this,” he finally said, offering out a data-slate. Gingerly, she unwrapped a tentacle from her abdomen to take it, tossing it on the bed for later reading. “Just tell him thanks and then claim you need to sleep,” Astra told herself, “maybe he won’t think you’re completely insane.”
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>>26559129

Before she could say anything, however, Gaelos extended a hand to pat her on the head. Surprised, Astra glanced up at his beaming face, “I…I don’t…” Another pat on the head, followed by him bowing and departing without another word. All Astra could do in response was to open and close her mouth several times, unable to properly understand what had just happened.

(End of Chapter 3)
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>>26547796
This thread deserves to be loved .
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>>26559139
Agreed. I'm really liking the way this is going
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>>26559137
While I mostly lurk around, I wanted to say that I like this and hope to see more.
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>>26559137
>Psyker Techpriest.
Yessssss.
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>>26559683

I suppose it is rather ambiguous what her class is, isn't it?

In any case, wonder what happened to the writefag who was doing the Rogue Trader Psyker x TP match up
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I need to stop making posts because of lolis with tentacles.

Good luck, writefag. Throw a few lewds in.

And for the Emprah's sake, take off your names. You're embarassing yourselves.
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>>26559983
Too many idiots impersonate writefags. Also makes it easier to look up or filter, so it's actually more polite than being anonymous.
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>>26557040
Astra's Story?
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>>26560031
Yeah trying to follow one writefag as anon with an impersonator, on suptg is a nightmare, so nice just to be able the ctrl+f their name and be done with it.
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>>26547796
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>>26562667
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Is this thread still alive? I'm writefagging and I could use some advice.
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>>26564218
I'm lurking but no ideas are popping up, I assume other are lurking as well.
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>>26564253
I've been trying to work out whether to partially rewrite some smut I've been working on. I feel as though I've sort of written myself into a corner by adding in tertiary character and giving the protag quite an obtuse outlook on things. Rewriting it would allow me to focus more on the lewdness. That said, I'd have to develop the actual plot a bit differently, since I wanted to do 'porn with a story'.

Also should I stop namefagging?
>>
Rolled 43

>>26564218

I'm around now. Though, if you're going to ask advice regarding your writefaggotry from last night, you might want to relegate that to its' own thread :P

Rolling to see what I dump next:

20-55: Chapter 4
55-90: Fallen from Grace Slice Of Life
1-19, 91-100: Lewd
>>
>>26564287
>you might want to relegate that to its' own thread
I don't really know if it it's worthy of its own thread, but I suppose hijacking other threads is really impolite.

While you're here, I'll just ask: I was thinking about retconning Tordek and the rest of Dave's party and just having him with the Elf. I was also going to make him less of an obtuse zealot and more in touch with reality. I'd still have an overarching story though. Do you think it's a good idea?
>>
>>26557038

The artist is Gia. Any decent booru should have more.

Also, it's written on the image. Also also, learn to reverse image search.
>>
File: 1376250867625.jpg-(115 KB, 469x1032, Words.jpg)
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>>26564348
English is not my greatest subject, so I have no clue how to help you, sorry man.
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>>26564426
I think perhaps I've already decided what to do, just explaining the situation helped me see it more clearly.

I was just wondering how to write the characters realistically. I then remembered what I was actually writing.
>>
goddamn it man, you can write walls of text but you cant rape the entire station with the rest of your party?
>>
>>26564458
As far as it goes, I do some writing on the side (but I need to plan months in advance, and my writing style is much more longwinded than Varia's) so I can help a little.

Whether or not Tordek should be in touch with reality more is a matter of what purpose it serves to the plot. How important is it that he isn't? Do other people Like the party you'd be retconning? And so on. think about how your audience would react to such a major shift. That'll inform your own actions.

>>26564287
The dice be loving Astra. This is cool with me
>>
Varia, while I think your stuff isn't that bad, please try to refrain from namefagging and attention whoring all over the board. Its starting to get really obnoxious.

polite sage.
>>
>>26564569
Dude, chill. It's so it's easier to find him See here:
>>26560031
>>26561223
>>
>>26564569
I disagree with you.

Varia's shit is bad.

It's worse than LCB.
>>
>>26564624
You're the first to dislike it so far. Guess that puts you in the minority here.
>>
>>26564552
Have you read what I've written? I put it in a pastebin here:http://pastebin.com/mxRDcMiM
(Sorry for self promotion)

>Whether or not Tordek should be in touch with reality more is a matter of what purpose it serves to the plot.
That was a huge typo on my behalf. It should have read 'Dave'. As the protagonist he's quite zealous and fond of his Goddess and as sort of a running joke doesn't seem to realize that the Elf is actually enjoying the interrogation. I was considering writing him as being more cunning and perverted. In retrospect though his current standing fits in more with the Paladin theme.

>Do other people Like the party you'd be retconning?
I don't really know. A anon in another thread asked what their purpose actually was and I got the impression they were a bit superfluous. They aren't really the main focus, that being the bondage and the sex, but I had a plan for a storyline to go along with it. It can still work without the party, since the long term story will involve Dave 'recruiting' a party of subs and maybe a dom.

>>26564569
>>26564624
With respect anon, I think that namefagging can be justified in a situation like this where identification and tracking are important. I only use this in writefag threads. I can see why it annoys you though.
>>
>>26564685
Then I'd say keep running with it. Maybe it's a bit presumptuous, given I don't have the time to read your stuff at the moment, but what you've said here suggests that you have a plan for things as they are now and retconning woul be too big of a chnage when the characters you'd be taking out are going to contribute later.
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>>26564748
I think I'll stick to my guns and keep it as it is, even though the other characters won't be around for that long. I can see a way to fix it. Thanks for your advice.
>>
>>26564569

Honestly, I simply forget that the quick reply maintains name/email across posts. I'll remember to clear it in the future, sorry for the annoyance.

>>26564624
Not sure if being worse than LCB is good or bad in this context...
>>
>>26564609
>>26564685
I'm not talking about this thread, I'm talking about the way Varia keeps going into other threads and being all like "Teehee, I'm SO not gonna write that...unless you beg me for it~!". Its really obnoxious and utterly unneeded.
>>26564624
If I'm being totally honest, its pretty bad. The DEldar stuff was...alright, but this Astra stuff is eye-rollingly cliche. Still, that's not what complaint is about. Varia has every right to write these stories and make these threads, but he shouldn't use them as an excuse to shitpost or attention whore in other threads.
>>
>>26564829
I said that in ONE thread as a half-joke, since it had devolved into Xenos Promotions. My apologies for getting between you and your spank material ಠ_ಠ

The only other threads I can think of offhand that could be considered "teasing" would be the drawthreads, but it's not like I'm shitting up the thread with "LOOK AT THIS!" I actively avoid doing that more often than not. Most of the time, the only reason I post in them is because one of the fags I DM for bothered me about it.

Sage for completely off-topic. If this hasn't devolved into a flame war by the time Ch 4 is done, I'll post it here.
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>>26564930

Just ignore the butthurt retards, Varia... There's simply no pleasing those, and they aren't worth consideration, much less wasting time answering them.
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>>26564930
>I said that in ONE thread as a half-joke
And in the original mutant DH thread, you kept on attention whoring in that one even after you announced your intent to write a story.
>My apologies for getting between you and your spank material
I actually found that thread pretty distasteful.
>ಠ_ಠ
Don't do this.
>but it's not like I'm shitting up the thread with "LOOK AT THIS!"
You actually kind of are doing exactly that.
>>26564950
Look dude, I already said I had no problem with these threads, I just asked that Varia keep it to these threads.

And Varia, you listen to guys like this and you are well on your way to becoming yet another egotistic and utterly detestable namefag everyone hates.
>>
Why are writefags so fucking bad nowadays.
>>
>>26565066
Because you don't allow them to grow. Criticize them, but don't just insult them.

>>26564950
Hugboxing is even worse. Stop it.
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>>26565066
What >>26565112 said. Constructive criticism is really helpful for them. They don't just dump stuff here for shits and giggles. Writing is difficult and a second pair of eyes is always useful.
>>
>>26565185
/tg/ rarely does constructive criticism.
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>>26565912
It's a shame really. I imagine that the writefags might improve if given enough support and proper critique.
>>
>>26565045
>utterly detestable namefag everyone hates
And what's wrong with that?
I've been namefagging since my first day, and I never even had supporters...
Sometimes I think this "HURRDURR WE ANON, NO NAMES ALLOWED" bullshit is less about attention whoring and more Tall Poppy Syndrom...
>>
>>26566464
As long as someone contributes, behaves well and doesn't act like a cunt, I don't mind if they want a name. I personally like anonymity but I'll namefag if I'm writing something.
>>
OP is my hero.
>>
>>26566464
Do you mean "the tallest nail gets hammered down"?
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>>26567794
Same thing, different location,.
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>>26559139
Mos def
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>>26567794
>>26567794
Pretty much...
I mean, I know there is a president for wanting to prevent echochamber circlewanks that lead to egotisim blackholes, but outright "ZOMG quit using a NAME ATTENTION WHORING FAGGOT!!!1!" is a bit over the top considering all you are doing is filling out a field that's there...
>>
If there is anyone who ought to be allowed to namefag, it's the writefags and drawfags who create stuff.
>>
>>26568859
We'll also do it whether we're allowed to or not, unless moot says otherwise.
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>>26568791
Sorry, hate to nitpick, I actually agree with you, but it's 'precedent' not 'president'.
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>>26566464
You are also a habitual shitposter
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>>26568909
Damn it, I looked and looked but knew that couldn't be right!

'Cedent, not 'Siident... I should probably go to sleep now...
>>
>>26569033
Care to share a definition of "shitposting" so I can avoid doing so in the future?


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