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First reply with a postcount ending in an even number makes the decision, or the third odd one.

If an action requires a roll and does not contain one in the post, the next linked or unattached roll will be used.

Catch-up: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Text%20Adventure

Twitter: @tgtextadventure
>>
You currently have the following:
+2 on fleshcrafting rolls
+2 on bonesmithy
+2 on raising dead

60 catgirls
3 centaur skeletons
90 human/catgirl skeletons

Allies:
Palla
Dark-haired catgirl
Elyria: (Captured)
5 Alraunes (Captured)
>>
DO LEWD THINGS WITH THE CATGIRLS.
>>
Forgot my name.

Also bump
>>
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>>26840406
>>
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>>
>>26840406

I dumped you some of yesterday's. No need to repeat ourselves.

Also you gotta reply.
>>
>>26840498
Let's send some centaurs to scout shit.
>>
bump
>>
>>26840615

If I have to start luring in players by dumping the sex scenes I will cry.
>>
Where's everyone?
>>26840327
Scout the surroundings,begin marching to the town where we had our brothel,scout there too and wait
>>
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>>26840704
>>
>>26840783
cany we distract them with pussy?
>>
Goddammit stop taking my name evil quick reply!
>>
>>26840840

Define pussy. Do you mean pussy as in pussy, pussy as in catgirls, or pussy as in catgirl pussy?
>>
>>26840864
catgirl pussy
>>
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>>26840840
>>
>>26840840
I don't think they're gonna fall for it...remember the other town.
Well worst that could happen is to fail in a hilarious way right?
Right?
>>
>>26840937
Oh I retract my words not bad
>>
Rolled 16

>>26840921
Seduce her
>>
>>26840921
Skeleton manipulation
Give her an offer she can't refuse
>>
>>26840921
See if the catgirls can get those scrolls off of them.
>>
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>>26840970
>>
Rolled 2

>>26841017
Reroll for
>>26840959
>>
>>26841017
Well actually I meant have her walk up to us and then offer her a choice.

But that would've worked too, if it could.
>>
>>26840959
>>26841017
do this we should have plenty of confidence from all the cat girl fucking. bitches love a confident man.

flirt and flirt hard
>>
>>26841017
Distract her, get her to come to us, then ambush her with cat's and skeletons or whoever we have.

Have a rag or something ready for her mouth.
>>
>>26841059
Roll motherfucker roll.
>>
Rolled 15

>>26841076
>>
Rolled 5

>>26841059
a d 20?
>>
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>>26841108
>>
>>26841174
Show your pre-approved Cobrastan passport.
>>
Rolled 11

>>26841198
>>
>>26841198
Funny.
>>
>>26841216
nothing funny about glorious cobrastan
>>
need a valid one
>>
>>26841174
say "Ever been fucked by skeleton before?", and make an exaggerated wink
>>
>>26841305
Ask her if there were anything in the world she wanted, what would it be?
>>
Rolled 16

>>26841307
*a skeleton
>>
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>>26841336
>>26841307
boner
>>
>>26841174
"so... how do I get a job here?"
>>
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>>26841336
>>
Rolled 5

>>26841416
Combination of using self, magic, and skeletons to fuck the loyalty into her.
Emphasis on magic.
>>
Rolled 3

>>26841416
Summon several skeletons fo' a gangbang, nigga!
>>
>>26841454
>>26841582
What have we done to offend the dice gods?
>>
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Rolled 6

>>26841595
I think it's because I posted a pun. PUNishment!
>>
>>26841622
Carlos! we must sacrifice Carlos!
>>
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>>26841454
>>
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Rolled 2

>>26841693
>Carlos! we must sacrifice Carlos!
In your dreams, Montezuma!
>>
Rolled 7

>>26841714
EUREKA! ORGASMS GIVE MAGIC!
Now, then, get the skellingtons to capture her and imprison her. Move along, scouting the area.
>>
>>26841714
What was she guarding again?
Go back and get it.
>>
>>26841714
seams magic works if we are close enough (ie inside some one )

go into town now there are no guards
>>
>>26841782
She was a border guard, watching over access to the city, Papers Please style.
>>
>>26841773
Also, drop off your pre-approved passaport at the checkpoint.
>>
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>>26841786
>>
>>26841773
Well, it seems our path is clear. We must make a orgasmic magic farm. We can kidnap people, and condemn them to a life of endless orgasm in our magic orgasm farm.
>>
>>26841910
Draw a funny face on the poster that looks nothing like you.
>>
>>26841956
Also put a silly moustache on that face.
>>
>>26841956
roll for how well you draw it
>>
Rolled 11

>>26841910
turn our selves in get some money fuck guard bitches. when we get board mid coitus make there bones follow our orders and take over the town, bonus points for doing to an orgy of guards all at the same time.
>>
Rolled 7

>>26841978
>>
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>>26841956
>>
Rolled 13

>>26842021
Look for the nearest tavern.
Always good things in a tavern.
>>
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>>26842056
>>
>>26842208
Order a drink. Sit back and watch.
Follow her later, I suppose.
>>
>>26842208
Ask the guards how much it costs to buy a slave. Buy her back.
>>
Rolled 16

>>26842208
go up and thank the guards shake there hands and make the skeletons burst forth and kill the reaming guards to free the girl
>>
Rolled 18

>>26842267
This.
>>
>>26842208
We have quite a bit of money, right?
We pull out a large amount of money, and offer to buy her
>>
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>>26842246

>>26842267
>>26842295
You are poor as shit right now. Everything was confiscated, and the village you now own is a poor one, with no liquid assets than those necessary to trade for alcohol.
>>
Rolled 18

>>26842379
Light the tavern on fire, grab the girl and run. Let yo skellington bros handle the rest.
>>
>>26842379
Keep following until they lead us to wherever they keep the majority of the slaves. Have the skeletons nearby just in case.

Also take note of that shower in a scroll thing, could be useful.
>>
>>26842379
buy a turn
>>
>>26842446
see
>>26842379
>>
>>26842379
We gotta find a way to let her know we're at least trying to help her. If we gathered coin, we could "hire" her, though that runs the risk of her revealing us on accident.

I'm just getting my thoughts out there.
>>
It's not like we don't have any cash or magic, so might as well >>26842437
>>
Im waiting for the rip and tear guys...don't let her suffer.
>>
>>26842458
> If we gathered coin
From where? I don't think we're much hiring potential in this town.
>>
>>26842379
Follow her to a less loyalist bar, then make ourselves a bit more apparent to her.

Lord knows we'll fuck it up though.
>>
>>26842446
since this one is actually in effect, i'll make it a little more serious:
while you're fucking her, get her to whisper to you where they're keeping her
>>
>>26842482
I was thinking less legal, more stealy/scavengy.

Perhaps even order some skeletons outside the city to look for loose coin.
>>
>>26842463
This is the third valid suggestion with an odd ending postcount, the even ending one was invalid since you have no money.
>>
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>>26842463
>>
Rolled 15

>>26842555
Call yo skeletons to knock the shit out of these guards. Then infiltrate the base.
>>
>>26842555
Better scout. Be sneaky, find the easiest way in. This is a town hall, not a fortress. It has to have a weakness.
>>
>>26842600
I approve
Even if I still want a pool of blood.
>>
>>26842555
look for a way in
>>
>>26842555
Does the shadow transformation count as magic?
>>
>>26842625
I'm saving that approach for the Jester.

Bastard.
>>
>not giving a shit about the poor monstergirl
>YOUR monstergirl
How dare they! The fiends!

Making a profit off of what's rightfully our property and not giving us a cent! I demand comeuppance after this.
>>
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>>26842600
>>
Rolled 6

>>26842694
WELP, TIME FOR A CLIMB.
>>
>>26842694
Midnight skeleton pyramid.
>>
>>26842648
We gotta have priorities, Jester is a bastard but the Alliance? bastards AND monstergirl kidnappers/rapists with a bit of retardness.
I want her back! You bureucratic shitfucks
>>
>>26842670
>just caring about the moneys
>not actually caring about our sweet sweet dryad
Why do you do that.
Also, we try to get her out. Just without a huge mess, since the alliance is huge, IIRC
>>
>>26842708
Goodnight Irene, and goodbye Elyria.
>>
>>26842721
What about total and utter annihilation?
>>
>>26842776
Maybe later when we stand a chance agains the alliance? How about that. As I said they seem to be huge
>>
>bastards
>monstergirl kidnappers
> with a bit of retardness >>26842708
Kinda like us, with everything but the rapist part (that usually happens to us instead)
>>
>>26842798
Yeah ok later...I get angry when monstergirls are harmed,patience then.
>>
>>26842844
>butthurt alliance member detected
>>
>>26842721
>Kill her whole family, beating them to a bloody pulp on her front doorstep.
>NOW we care.
>>
>>26842844
Yeah right,but we tenderly love them...mostly,
>>
>>26842890
Well that's the problem of being a multiple personality disorder necromancer
>>
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>>26842708
>>
>>26842890
well i personally would at least want to know how to get arround with that Anti Magic thingy. Since we are a caster/mage-class.

It's not like I don't care about our cute Dryad. But I don't want to possibly die by now.

But since you are not a dick of a GM and will give uus a way out if things go shitty, we could also go for it. Thats right.

Also I'd like to know this >>26842636
>>
>>26843011
A way out? HA

You didn't see chapter 3 did you?

I honestly play this game hardmode, if you end up with no solution, you will die without some godlike rolls.

Which is fine because there are 4 more classes to try in the main menu of this game.
>>
Rolled 3

>>26842999
What do we do?
I'll tell you what we do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dyO9SWiY7k
>>
>>26842999
Attack them with the skeletons
>>
Rolled 7

>>26842999
"Tell me about it, I have a whole horde of really horny catgirls at my disposal."
>>
>>26842999
Keep climbing.
>>
Rolled 13

>>26842999
Whoa shit. Getting our ass outta here.

Skeleton ladder, hold them off!
>>
>>26842636
Absolutely.

So far, it appears as if your natural prowess as enhanced by your actual dark energy seems unaffected, you can still perceive things humans cannot, and become more difficult to see in shadow to a supernatural degree, but every time you cast a spell, you know it wont work, and it fizzles out. The scrolls they use seem to work without any modification, and you used magic while fucking the girl earlier.

It's a mystery, that's the sum up.
>>
Rolled 1

>>26843076
>>
>>26843054
Not until we become necro-king of all that is fuckable
>>
>>26843084
I like your style. Good thinking.
>>
>>26843114
fuck
>>
>>26843113
I suppose it fucks you up if you have to think about what you're doing. Which is why the scrolls work and our magic worked while fucking that guard. We didn't even consider the anti-magic field.
>>
>dese rolls
I say no more magic dice rolls until we get out of this fucking city.
Fucking anti-magic shenanigans I bet
>>
>>26843054
I am here since the first chapter. But you gave us the saving adrenaline rush. If that was chap 3.

But well. Maybe I've just been a little retarded back a moment. I will shut up for a few moments.
>>
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Sorry for the late response.

Had to watch this: >>26843067 all the way through.
>>
>>26843259
Become a quantim lich.
>>
Rolled 14

>>26843259
Run nigga run
>>
>>26843259
Fuck
>>
>>26843181

Oh no no no that's fine.

You're right, the adrenaline rush was the saving grace, but I did that because either way it would have been awesome.

If those rolls had failed you would have died, but they were both great.
>>
Rolled 9

>>26843259
Summon the life python!
>>
>>26843307
With a broken shin?
>>
>>26843259
Use magic to put the bone back in place.
Limp like hell!
>>
>>26843290
Not valid
>>26843310
What do you fuck?
>>
>>26843330
off
>>
Rolled 14

>>26843290
Satan guide my dice!
>>
>>26843172
They've been like this pretty much the entire adventure. We have literally failed 80% of our rolls.
>>
>>26843360
99% of the most crucial moments as well.
>>
>>26843360
It's the Jester's fucking low-roll dart, the price to pay for his spellbook
>>
>>26843406
At least you got, pfffft, ethereal carrot and life python in return.

Jesus I love this campaign.
>>
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>>26843324
>>
>>26843414
Best quest I've ever played. No doubt.

If only for the rolls. and the sex.
>>
>>26843461
Oh shit our magic worked. That proves my theory, don't think about it!
Grab a scroll off the fainted guard and use it to cover our retreat.
>>
Rolled 15

>>26843461
capitalize on it
claim that if they take another step towards us, we will strike them down with powerful magic like that they have just witnessed
>>
Rolled 15

>>26843461
We tell them we'll do it to them unless they drop their weapons.
>>
Rolled 17

>>26843461
I cast massive death.
>>
>>26843495
This.
>>
Rolled 16

>>26843500
Fuck yeah horrormagic mind
>>
>>26843500
Then while they're still shocked, run the fuck away
>>
>>26843528
While our foot destintegrates as the jagged bone cuts through the flesh?
Well, better than a broken shin I guess.
>>
>>26843545
Well we're not gonna wait around
>>
>be a necromancer
>actually better at healing than casting death and skeletons
>also monstergirl brothels

best necromancer ever
>>
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>>26843500
>>
>>26843666
And then, a skeleton popped out.
>>
>>26843666
I am a laughing so hard right now.
>>
>>26843666
about "you pussies can't even take me on without your precious field"
>>
Rolled 11

>>26843666
Time for some hate. Gather your emotion. You've broken the illusion, now time to hate fuck these bastards. Search for dead things. All the dead things, and make them yours. This is a fucking city, death is everywhere, and you control death.

Control the city.
>>
>>26843713

I've been rewatching Monty Python. It kinda shows.
>>
>>26843731
We still have a plus 2 for necromancy rolls, right?
>>
>>26843666
Try to distract thwm by pointing out a tasty parrot.
>>
Rolled 20

>>26843666
give them some of their own medicine, start chanting and waving our arms. Slowly raise the tempo of the chant, when they are sufficiently mindfucked, crabwalk away
>>
>>26843666
I don't get it...humming protects from magic or what?
>>
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>>26843741
>>
How did it come to this? I thought we were gonna build up our forces and allies and attack the place, not sneak around. Should've been a rogue if we wanted to do that.
>>
Rolled 10

>>26843741
Them*
>>
>>26843746
That is technically the correct reply right?
>>
>>26843761
Ok I'm redirecting this to you: >>26843755
>>
>>26843666
Cast Death

On all of these assholes.

The antimagic field only works if you BELIEVE it works!
>>
>>26843774
Absolutely, let me just stop laughing first.
>>
Rolled 12

>>26843783
I told you guys, I told you.

Maybe its the same for our dice rolls as well?
Tell me, do you believe in bad luck?
>>
>>26843746
GREAT VICTORY!
>>
>>26843778
Fair enough
>>
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>>26843746
>26843746
>>
>>26843902
BAH! Your rapist trolls only make me hornier. Continue on bitches!
>>
>>26843902
Anything dead to raise as a skelebro?
If not, baby steps forward and keep sense alert.
>>
Rolled 10

>>26843902
USE YOUR CRAB SENSE.
>>
>>26843902
Fuck all that shit

Let's go free the monstergirls and start the revolution
>>
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>>26843928
>>
>>26843952

You detect no crabs in the area, but you do sense something fishy.
>>
>>26844013
2 out of 4, not bad.
I think trolls count as lower primates, which means they have a penis bone, rip that shit out.
>>
Rolled 18

>>26844026
>>26844013
Damn your puns. FLEE BITCHES!
>>
Rolled 17

>>26844053
Yes
>>
Rolled 4

>>26844067
One more time.
>>
Rolled 12

>>26844026
SUMMON A FISH SLAYER. SPECIFICALLY GEARED AGAINST SHARKS AND ROGUE TUNA.
>>
>>26844013
Wait, if there's a flesh tearing field, won't that hurt the troll too?
>>
Rolled 7

>>26844013
take a run-up, and kick the piranha at the troll
>>
Rolled 17

>>26844013
New idea.

Say hi, but be prepared to fucking bolt.
>>
Rolled 3

>>26844013
Roll to disbelieve.
>>
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>>26844068
>>
>>26844163
RELEASE THEM MONSTERGIRLS

MAYBE START A MID RESCUE ORGY.

I DUNNO
>>
>>26844163
Be real fuckin' careful is what we do. Can we still magic?
>>
>>26844163
Open the cells. Kick any guards in the dick.
>>
>>26844213
We just did. The anti magic field is a hoax.
>>
>>26844203
Whoa, we don't know who's in there. There may be more rapist trolls. Or even worse, adulterer trolls!
>>
>>26844163
Fuck, maybe they just took a troll and put a rapist sign on him. Maybe he was friendly, but illiterate.
>>
>>26844253
We owe him a good healing. If Eylirie or whoever is up to it.

We could use a good troll.
>>
Rolled 20

>>26844163
go back and summon a life phyton for the troll
>>
>>26844331
Don't be too hasty. He may still be the rapist we think he is.
>>
>>26844331
DAMN YOU GOOD ROLL GUY WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS SO LATE??
>>
>>26844203
>>26844227
>>26844331
This is the third actual response, and a damn good roll if I might add.

Troll friend aquired.
>>
>>26844356
And he's just seend us rip out, and heal back his pride and joy.

I'm sure that language is universal.
>>
>>26844331
Isn't the python dead? I really hope not...
>>
>>26844367
No, this is >>26844227
>>
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>>26844227
>>
>>26844402
Animate their skeletons, but don't kill them.
"You work for me now"
>>
>>26840327
t
>>
Rolled 12

>>26844402
>animated their skeletons
Good idea! Use it.
>>
>>26844428
Nice idea. You can always break a finger in a really ugly manner if they don't listen.
>>
Rolled 12

>>26844402
say as loudly as you can:
"THIS IS A GOVERNMENT SACTIONED ORGY PATICIPATION IS CONPULSORY
THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION"
then strip naked
>>
>>26844402
You know, they might be beuracratic, rapicious, assholes but these alliance guys seem like really good chaps to each other and the people seem to like them.
A shame they have a thing against magic. And the rape thing. It could've gone the other way.
>>
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>>26844428
>>
>>26844402
"Sorry, but you guys are being total dicks.

Maybe not you guys, but the Alliance as a whole.

Now tell me where you keep your monstergirls!"
>>
>>26844515
The actual guards are just completely normal people, given unlimited sex with hundreds of different monstergirls, along with food and a place to live in return for acting like nazis.

I would sure as hell take that job.
>>
>>26844537
ride on one of their backs
>>
>>26844537
Check for those meat barrier ripper things.
Heal the troll.
Open the slavegates.
Burn this place to the ground and anyone who won't join us (and the offer of the greatest orgy in history).
>>
Rolled 15

>>26844537
Heal the troll.
>>
>>26844537
Find the monstergirls.
>>
>>26844537
Make them help you get the monstergirls out of therem stage it like an exercise or something.
>>
>>26844564
As would everyone in this thread.

But at least now we know their weakness.

Gentleman, we have a brothel to run!
Tease them with more variety in monstergirls h
than they can get in the alliance in return to working for us!
>>
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>>26844582
>>
>>26844641
Ask the guards how to free the girls.
>>
>>26844641
Troll skeleton rapist servant.
>>
Rolled 6

>>26844641
Necromate the troll, of course
>>
>>26844641
Get the guards to help you free the girls, promise this >>26844627 if they work for us.
>>
>>26844641
>it's dead
Gee I wonder what we usually do when that happens.

Animate that.
>>
>>26844689
Whoops, forgot to take the dice off
>>
Rolled 9

>>26844689
Sacrificing my roll for this
>>
>>26844641
Animate troll, ask where the monstergirls are.

Promise them store credit at our brothel when we make it in exchange.
>>
>>26844689

That actually needs a roll so good job.

I mean, shitty job on the roll, but thanks for making the failure quick.
>>
>>26844641
Woo! Troll skeleton!

We need to get back to base necromancy. Corpse controlling and such.
>>
Rolled 10

>>26844727
but mmmuh sacrificed roll
>>
>>26844727
Oh no. Skeleton rapist troll!
>>
>>26844727
Eh, it's just a failed attempt at raising a troll.
Nothing terrible will happen. Right, right?
>>
>>26844727
Why does a necromancer that studied 10 years need a roll to raise a meager troll? We can raise 30 skellies at once without breaking into a sweat.
>>
>>26844727
I swear to god, the minute we get rid of the Alliance, we're fucking annihilating the Jester.
>>
Rolled 8

>>26844759
if the troll will try to rape us WE'LL CAST FIST.
>>
OP don't forget our +2
>>
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>>26844689
>>
>>26844778
Boom! Vague but acceptable reasoning in the post: >>26844819

It's not like you failed. Even with a low roll. You just did a kinda shitty job. Magic is an art, not a science.
>>
>>26844786
What if we rape the troll before it can rape us?
>>
>>26844819
Check if the flesh barrier is a load of bunk or real.
Slave release. . .or wait.
. . .dare I ask, is the alliance hiring? How do they REALLY feel about magic?
>>
>>26844819
Time to get the girls out of there, get the guards to help us. Promise them free entry to our soon to be mega-brothel if they work for us.
>>
>>26844819
Lead us to the slaves
>>
Rolled 17 + 2

>>26844819
ATTEMPT TO REGAIN CONTROL.
>>
>>26844819
Let's get out of here. Alliance guys up front in case we run into trouble.
>>
>>26844819
ride on the back of one of the guards
>>
>>26844819
That's it. OP has abandoned us. I'm closing the browser and never looking at anything involving the text adventure again.

Lemme just refresh a couple more times.
>>
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>>26844854
>>
>>26844973
No! OP would never abandon us!
>>
>>26844990
Let's just explore the place then.
>>
>>26844973

Sorry. Writing dialogue and sex scenes takes longer.
>>
Rolled 10

>>26844990
Ask if we can use the scrying orb.
>>
>>26844990
"Well fuck. Can I just smash through all this shit and let them out?

Also, what the hell is it with you alliance folk and beating people to death? I could get behind state sponsored brothels if you'd just ease up on being such massive cunts."
>>
>>26844990
Wait a minute. How the fuck do you know what Nazi's are?
>>
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>>26845012

Sorry. Fleshing things out in my head is taking a while, trying to keep it making some kind of sense. Also I've been writing a while.
>>
>>26845145
Damn my grammar.
>>
Rolled 5

>>26845156
Go to the ressurection room.
Kill the troll. again
Reanimate proper
>>
>>26845156
We look around for Elyria
>>
>>26845156
See if we can't hire Elyria. Give time to work out a plan. And get some of dat sexy ass once again.
>>
>>26845145
We are not in the past, but in a far away future, where magic appeared.

>>26845156
Try to shut it down.
>>
>>26845145

"You don't know the Nazis? They reigned in Deuckta for about 20 years. Those fuckers ran a police state, and pretty much power tripped for two decades. Then it turned out Lerhit, their Mutter, or leader, was fucking the very lamias he was trying to exterminate. The regime fell apart."
>>
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>>26845159
>>26845145
>Hans Landa was here
>>
>>26845156
TEAR IT ALL DOWN
>>
Rolled 10

>>26845156
Ask if you can fuck a random monster girl.
>>
>>26845186
>Lerhit

As stupid as this is it made me laugh.
>>
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>>26845174
>>
>>26845204
Shit you cracked my code.
>>
>>26845215
Find the biggest baddest monster girls and free them in exchance for service. The ones that don't, animate.
Repeat until sizeable army.
>>
>>26845186
"Oh okay, just sounds like something...Never mind. Back to threatening your life for my amusement."
>>
>>26845234
Specify the service
>>
>>26845247
Total obedience.
Fighting.
And yes, in the end, a more humane place to live in and optional brothel
>>
>>26845215
rape david in a fit of vengeful anger
>>
Rolled 18

>>26845284
>>
>>26845247
For now? Helping us break the others out.

Later? We'd be mighty appreciative if they'd join our megabrothel, but it's not required.
>>
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Rolled 14

>>26845215
Tear it down.
>>
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>>26845234
>>
>>26845394
Ask who would know how to get them out.
>>
>>26845394
use the scrying orb to select a minotaur girl
then fuck it with one of the guards
>>
Rolled 19

>>26845394
Grab several guards to fuck the minotaur girl
>>
>>26845394
Skeletonize her.
Skeletons don't feel pain on electric fences. Smash through.
>>
>>26845394
Let's select one with one of the eye things. Maybe we'll have the privacy to tell one or two about a plan for a breakout.

Or she'll crush our tiny head in between our thighs, game over. either way.
>>
>>26845436
See, the bad rolls go away when we stop believing in silly things like anti magic fields!
It was all powered by our superstition.
>>
>>26845413
>>26845421
>>26845436
In order to get enough time to explain our plan to the monstergirls, we must screw them.

Oh the sacrifices a man has to make. Woe is us.
>>
>>26845488
Damn this cruel world!
We and our guards will have to go through almost every single one!

Oh woe!
>>
>>26845477
Fuck that's meta.
>>
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>>26845436
>>
>>26845499
Our guards? Like fuck "Our guards"

I want all of them. Maybe even include the life python.
>>
>>26845524
>>
>>26845524
Wait, search for Elyria first. Also, check for anything that might be watching us.
>>
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>>26845532

whoops
>>
>>26845524
tell the fellow guards to get her here.

>>26845545
We already searched Elyria. Without success.

But add that 'check for watching' stuff to my request
>>
>>26845570
BLOB
>>
>>26845570
minotaur of course
then have our guards line up and select girls alphabetically and tell them of our plan.
>>
>>26845570
I'm sorry, "loli"?

That's not mariachi!
>>
Rolled 4

>>26845570
MINOTAUR
>>
>>26845617
I don't think we need to roll for selecting something from a menu.
We can't be THAt inept.
>>
>>26845617
We don't need to roll for making a simple choice. What, are we gonna jam our finger?
>>
>>26845570
Alraune
>>
>>26845641

Just watch, our finger will slip and we'll free an army of lolis to fight our way out.
>>
>>26845641
>>26845647
I'm on mobile so I can't be arsed to remove my dice.
>>
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>>26845598
>>
Rolled 2

>>26845735
What have I done?

(can we maybe get like a +1 to sexual encounters or something? After all we've been through?)
>>
Rolled 19

>>26845735
Bitch be looking to get cut. We got that knifehand.
>>
Rolled 6

>>26845735
Go for the gold! Stick and bleed! Float like a bee!

I got nothing.
>>
Rolled 18

>>26845735
FUCK HER.

EMPEROR GUIDE MY COCK.
>>
GUYS! what if we can manage the orb to select one of the officer gurads or something??
>>
Rolled 1

>>26845735
sex her
>>
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>>26845783
>>
>>26845960
"Smash the other cells, save the other girls, and then revolution."
>>
>>26845960
i fapped to this
>>
>>26845960
"WE FREE EVERYONE! BY THE EMPRAH'S FURY!"
>>
>>26845960
Let's get that pre-revolution orgy going.
>>
>>26846036
Care to specify?

One minotaur, a revolution does not make.

Although one minotaur, a fapfic does make
>>
>>26846062
BREAK SHIT! ALSO ASK WHAT IS HER ATTITUDE ON ME BANGING OTHER FEMALES?
>>
>>26846062
1. get the other minotaurs out (they'll listen to their leader)
2. get the other girls out, no fucking yet, we need to get outta there.
>>
>>26846062
Oh no, that means we have to summon more monstergirls.

God forbid.

Start with Dryad. We gotta rescue our assistant.
>>
>>26846088
She isn' there.
>>
Rolled 14

>>26846062
Let's order more minotaurs. We still have the guards too.
>>
I MUST have some kind of mental disorder, to keep coming back to this thread three fucking nights in a row to see this guy spinning epic tales of fucking monstergirls.
>>
>>26846165
Whatever it is, it's probably not as severe as our nameless hero.

Just look at his thought process.
>>
>>26846199
He has a name, he's Mr. Bones
>>
>>26846199
Fight, Fuck, Talk.
Seems like the standard murderhobo method to me.
>>
>>26846165
There is some fighting and rebellion and shit too.

But yeah, we're all here for the fucking.
>>
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>>26846077
>>
>>26846385
>Or I'm going to blow this girls head off
Oh no! Kill her? What ever is a necromancer like me going to do?

Kill that fucker
>>
Rolled 3

>>26846385
CAST THE OVERPOWERED INSTA KILL FUCK YOU SPELL.
>>
Rolled 17

>>26846385
Cast Death
>>
>>26846451
SHIT DICK FUCK I BLAME THE HERETICAL FAP PARTS.
>>
>>26846448
And I didn't roll for a reason. Use the minatoar
>>
Rolled 12

>>26846385
cum in his eye, blinding him
>>
>>26846496
Id assume that this
>>26846464
is the roll that counts
>>
>>26846464
BLESS YOU. THIS FAGGOT IS GOING TO GET BLAMMED!
>>
>>26846544
Sadly you assume wrong.
I also fucked up in the 3rd one rolling a critfail, just because I forgot to remove the dice+1d20 before asking a question.
>>
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>>26846448
>>
Rolled 1

>>26846639
Raise all the dead.

Prepare for the counterattack.
>>
>>26846639
Raise dead, then retreat and meet up with our cats and skeletons
>>
>>26846639
Time to get ye olde brothel back in business. Go check how it's doing
>>
>>26846639
Run back to the base with your new homies.
>>
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I sense victory is near.
>>
Rolled 18

>>26846676
Fuck that noise. Revolution bitches!
>>
>>26846776
Or an orgy.
Maybe both.

I say we turn our brothel town into our own fiefdom of sex and skulls. The mayor can still be mayor though.
Next objective, killing the jester.
>>
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>>26846792
>dat roll
Nice
>>
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>>26846668
>>
>>26846820
I hadn't even meant to. Fuck! That means that good roll wont happen later. That's how it works, right?
>>
Goodnight guys. The length between reply and page is getting way too long, and I like this chapter end.

Could someone archive this please. I haven't used it before.
>>
>>26846847
>dryad baby
Oh fuck when did that happen?
Ah well, it's not like the Alrune from chapter 2 doesn't have a dozen spawn of us either.

Our Heir must be of strong mettle though, and magically adept. We'll see what this leads to.
>>
>>26846847
I think this is an appropriate reaction.
>>
>>26846847
That child could be anyone's, she's been getting raped on a daily basis. Let's focus our next efforts into developing some kind of medieval paternity test, ASAP.

And by ASAP I mean tomorrow or whenever.
>>
>>26846878
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html
Here,
dammit, I forgot to add the 5.
>>
Can someone archive please?

Also follow on twitter for alerts to the next thread: @tgtextadventure
>>
>>26846921
I'd think dryads might have some kind of magical sensitivity to who the father is, being half plant and all.
>>
>>26846969
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

Dammit can it be edited?

The last couple arent numbered
>>
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>>26846847
WE ARE DONE. NO VICTORY. ONLY DEATH.
>>
>>26846991
That makes no sense, plants don't know shit like that, real life plants don't even know. Do you mean to imply that "it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit"? Well I don't buy it, I want a paternity test.
>>
>>26847061

Dryads are in tune with nature, and childbirth is pretty natural.
>>
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By the way, gonna dump some old pages from /v/


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