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File: 1378446693355.jpg-(115 KB, 480x640, Harry James Potter.jpg)
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Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Harry%20Potter%20Nasuverse%20Quest
Twitter: https://twitter.com/HPNasuQuest

=====

You are Harry James Potter, and you are about to be sorted.

You aren't entirely sure what the ceremony involves just yet, but the fact that there is an old and pointy Wizard's Hat enshrined upon a wooden stoll seems to indicate that the mind reading hat option that Draco was talking about was correct. You are somewhat disturbed by the possibility of a third party being capable of extracting information, as you would much rather your inner demons to remain inner, thank you very much. This does very little to improve your opinion of Dumbledore, who is second only to -that man- in responsibility for you having to live your life at the Dursley's.

Quite honestly, you sort of wish that what Gred and Forge told Ron was true. Fighting a troll would be well within your comfort zone, especially compared to letting a dusty old mystic code search through all of your private fantasies thoughts and memories. You'd just whip out your spear, -not- do any little flourishes, and cut the beast to death.

Yes, that would be much simpler.

And much less grating on your ears.

For you see, that bloody Mystic Code decided that it didn't want to simply wait about and announce the groups that the students would be divided into for the next four years. No, it decided that this was the perfect stage for its audition for Britain's Got Talent. The raspy singing voice that is emitted from the mouth-like split in its stitching, you will admit, is much better than most of the talentless hacks who audition for that show.

>Field is too long
>>
>>27055636
But honestly, you don't care that you won't find a smarter hat than it - it's voice grates on your ears like nails on a chalkboard, and you find yourself trying to ignore its unending drone. It goes on and on about things you already know, and you wonder - is this what an uninterrupted info-dump sounds like? Mother of God...

At last the singing ends. You aren't sure whether you want to join in with the applause, but everyone else is doing it. Not congratulating the hat on its failure to make your eardrums bleed does seem a bit gauche, you suppose. As the chorus ends, the cool old lady from before takes the dias. You know she's cool because she's read Dune, and you won't let anyone else tell you otherwise.

"When I call your name," she says, "You will sit on the stool, and wait for your House to be announced. First up, Abbot, Hannah."

The stitching splits open almost as soon as the hat lands on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Wow, that was quick," you hear Ron mutter under the hall's excited din. "You'd think it'd take a bit longer for someone to make an irreversible judgment regarding the nature of one's soul..."

You...
>Agree.
>Disagree.
>Point out that some people are simpler than others.
>Remain silent like the cool old lady told you.
>[OTHER]
>>
Harry James Potter

[ATTRIBUTES]

[4] Strength - D+ "You're a wiry lad, built for speed more than strength."
[9] Agility - A "You're fast on your feet and quick with your reflexes"
[6] Endurance - C+ "You're cousin's made sure you can take a beating."
[8] Intelligence - B+ "You're no genius, but you're smarter than most."
[7] Luck - B "You've got better luck than most."
[9] Circuit Quality (CQ) - A [13 Prana per Circuit]
[8] Circuit Quantity (CC) - B+ [26 Circuits, one of which has been opened]

Magic Circuits Open - 4/26
Prana Available - 52/52
Wounds - 0/6

[SKILLRATINGS]

[11] Academics (Mundane) [INT] - D
[10] Academics (Magecraft) [INT] - E+
[9 (11)] Academics (Wizarding) [INT] - E (D)
[13] Acrobatics [AGI] - D+
[10] Athletics [END] - D+
[13] Capioera [AGI] - D+
[13] Cooking [AGI] - D+
[10] Craft (Mystic Codes) [INT] - E+
[11] Discernment - D
[10] Mystic Eye Lore [LCK] - D
[10] Origin Magic [CQ] - E
[11] Reinforcement [CQ] - E+
[12] Stealth [AGI] - D
[9] Wandlore [CQ] - F

[TRAITS]

Spiteful - Your stealth rating increases by 2 when you're out for revenge.
Compassionate - Your healing spells cure one additional wound.

[PERKS]

Devil's Luck - You may temporarily reduce your luck attribute by 1 step to negate a critical hit against you.

Practiced Runner - Your Athletics rating is increased by 2 when running.

Multitasker I - Multitasking penalties to skill checks are reduced by 1.

Mystic Eyes of Death Perception - You see the Death of things, and deal additional wounds when using a knife.
[LEAST] - You can discern the difference between lines of concepts and lines of objects, allowing you to choose which to cut.

Mystic Eye Focus - You've grown accustomed to the use of your [MYSTIC EYES], and have unlocked it's [LEAST] secondary power.

Parseltongue - You possess the ability to understand and speak the language spoken by snakes and certain other reptiles.

True Magic Innoculation - Penalties for True Magic vs Sanity decrease by 2.

??? - ???
>>
Wand of Maple and Dryad - You heal one additional wound when using Wand Magic to heal.

Spellcraft for Squibs - Up to rank B, add 1 rank to your Academics (Wizarding). Up to rank C, add 2 tanks.

The Threefold Spear - A spear that can take the form of a staff, a baton, a Hasta, a Lancea, and a Verutum.

??? - A dagger that, apparently, only you can perceive.

Mirror Phone - Your first mystic code, it is a clamshell mirror connected to a matching mirror you gave to Illya, allowing you to secretly communicate and stir up all kinds of ruckus.

MARTIN MIGGS Omnibus - Increases Fun Rating to A+.
>>
>>27055646
>Remain silent like the cool old lady told you.

Normally I'm all for some light disobedience, but she get our Muggle literature joke. That earns some loyalty.

Also, wow, I though the next thread wouldn't be until tomorrow. Sweet.
>>
>>27055646
>>Agree
>>27055646
>>Point out that some people are simpler than others.
>>
>>27055646
>Point out that some people are simpler than others.
>>
Threadly reminder that the updated Ebook can be found at http://pastebin.com/kbGzcbDband will be updated after this thread.
>>27055646
>Point out that some people are simpler than others.
>>
>>27055646
>Remain silent like the cool old lady told you.

Lets be honest... we already know we're going to be raising all sorts of hell around here. May as well foster a bit of good will with a teacher, so we'll have a least a tiny buffer for when we get into all kinds of trouble constantly.
>>
Oh wow, I wasn't expecting another thread this late.

Remain silent, but be a smartass and try to talk through closed lips, trying to convey that some people are simpler than others.
>>
>>27055850
this.
we are a mischievious group and it doesn't help that illya may actually be worse when it comes to shenanigans.
>>
>>27055646
>>Remain silent like the cool old lady told you.
putting our finger to our lips
>>
>>27055932
Amen to that
Also, when we get to sorting, tell the hat that it's going to die if it doesn't put Illya and you on the same house.
>>
>>27056051
Ilya will go first since its alphabetical by last name, which makes it easy. We can just bully it into putting us into whichever House she gets.
>>
>>27056091
Depends on if the go by Einzbern or by von Einzbern. I'm not actually sure which it's supposed to be.
>>
>>27056110
The "von" isn't really a proper part of the name, hence why it isn't capitalized.

If I remember my European nameology, the function of the "von" is equivalent to the "of" in Prince Harry of Wales.
>>
>>27056110
Traditionally the Von was ignored for alphabetical sorting when it was still predominantly titular.

Nowadays people just consider it part of the name and file it all under V.

No idea how Hogwarts would handle it though.
>>
>>27055646
Bets Ron ends up in house "Sword" and confuses the fuck out of everyone?
>>
>>27056309
I'm all for it. We'll have Ultraginger and Shiki Longbottom to back us up.
>>
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>other
I tell him that the hat will have a hard time sorting him because GINGERS HAVE NO SOULS
>>
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Tempting as it would be to respond to Ron, if even a small handful of your days are going to contain even a fraction of today's excitement, you're likely to make all of your teacher's lives a living hell. You turn back to Ron, who has joined in a mumble war with who you can only presume to be one of the "cute Indian twins" he and Neville were talking about earlier, and shoot him a look. You mean really, Ron, it's 2001. What sort of bloke chats about philosophy with a girl during a mind reading ceremony?

"Choi, Anne"

Wait, don't answer that. The whole 'mind reading ceremony' bit is abnormal enough - you're not going to interrupt that, but you suppose it's not your business to judge anyone for talking about it's ethics. Or how quick the hat passes Judgment. Anne seems to be taking a bit longer than that Hannah girl, but only a little bit. It's near a minute before the seam mouth opens once again...

"RAVENCLAW!"

"Harry..." Ron complains. "I mean, okay, it was a stupid question-"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"-but seriously. M'Dad -works- with souls, likes to talk shop about them-"

"GRYFFINDOR"

"-and how everything has one, even that old muggle contraption he keeps in the shed-"

"SLYTHERIN!"

"-but the point is, the things are -really- complicated, and-"

"Einzbern, Illyasviel von..."

You turn back to Ron. Much as you want to, you don't shoot him a glare, as his father's line of work actually sounds somewhat interesting. However, Illya is up for her sorting now, and you want to pay close attention to whichever house she gets into. Hopefully, you'll be able to blackmail the Hat into placing you into the same house as her. It seems to have a personality, at the very least, so it might respond well to threats.

But the point of the matter is, you shush Ron, pointing at Illya. He nods, and goes back to muttering whatever he was muttering with the Indian girl.

>Field too long.
>>
>>27056485
You don't notice the staff exchanging some meaningful glance among each other at the calling of Illya's name. You do, however, not that Illya looks rather annoyed at the hat, and at one point turns a bright shade of pink, before doing what you imagine is the non-verbal equivalent of yelling at the damn thing. It takes a full three minutes of this back and forth between the two before the seam-mouth opens up.

"HUFFLEPUFF!"

Ron immediately leans forward again.

"-so yeah, apparently a soul has a bunch of different -pieces- that-"

"RAVENCLAW!"

"-encompass how your original self changed since the moment you were-

"SLYTHERIN!"

"-born. I mean, how your memories influence the bit of you that embodies you-"

"Longbottom, Neville..."

"-which is really-"

"GRYFFINDOR!"

"-neat. I asked Dad to tell me mine once, he said I was a Sword, which is pretty-"

"Potter, Harry..."

You get up, preparing yourself for having to deal with this mind reading abomination. Hufflepuff is the House that you want to be in. Loyalty, is it's big thing, you remember. Loyalty and hard work. Yeah, you think you could fit in there alright. Better than alright, even.

"Sorry Ron, gotta run," you say.

"-cool. Oh, Good luck mate!" He turns back to the Indian girl. "So did I tell you..."

On your way up to the stool, you fill your mind with...
>Thoughts of Illya. And how you'll be -damned- if the two of you are separated.
>Thoughts of the von Einzberns. How they were - are - more your family than the Dursley's ever were.
>Thoughts your Origin. How you -need- someone to ground you, to keep yourself sane.
>Thoughts of Spite, what you will do the hat if the two of you are separated.
>Thoughts of Compassion. How much you liked all the 'Puffs you've met thus far.
>[OTHER]>>27056485
>>
>>27056491
>Thoughts of the von Einzberns. How they were - are - more your family than the Dursley's ever were.
>Thoughts your Origin. How you -need- someone to ground you, to keep yourself sane.
>Thoughts of Compassion. How much you liked all the 'Puffs you've met thus far.
>>
>>27056491
>he said I was a Sword

We gonna shank that hat. And with new and uncomfortable things, we're gonna have more stress to work out, and that involves Killing things.
>>
>>27056491
I don't know, Sensei. I still haven't decided to which house we should belong yet
>>
>>27056491
>"-neat. I asked Dad to tell me mine once, he said I was a Sword, which is pretty-"
>rons origin is sword
jesus christ he is shirou
>>
>>27056592
Ha. Ha.
>any of these lead anywhere but Hufflepuff

It's the journey, not the destination, man.
>>
>>27056491
>Thoughts of Illya. And how you'll be -damned- if the two of you are separated.

Hat, we're here for the better part of the next decade. PLENTY of time for vengeance. Now put our loyal, hard working butt exactly where it belongs, alright? You even get a hint, the House we belong in is the only one of the Four that starts with an H and ends with a Puff.
>>
>>27056617
FFfffine
>The whole Hufflepuff thing makes think about certain other Hufflepuffs, I mean, DEM HUFFLEPUFFS. LIKE IN, MAMI'S HUFFLEPUFFS
>>
>>27056617
>>any of these lead anywhere but Hufflepuff

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9n9wswKMec
>>
Oh god. Now we know Ron is Shirou, the set is complete.
...Wait, Next year Luna is going to act like Arc, isn't she?

>>27056491
>Thoughts of Illya. And how you'll be -damned- if the two of you are separated.
>>
>>27056491
>>Thoughts of Spite, what you will do the hat if the two of you are separated.
>>27056630
this too
It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.
>>
>>27056491
> I asked Dad to tell me mine once, he said I was a Sword

Ron, if we didn't have better things to do, we would totally awaken your Origin right here and now.

>>27056617
Well I assume the OTHER option could conceivably lead to somewhere other than Hufflepuff, but then again why would we bother at this point.
>>
>>27056678
Or Rin. Rin would be hilarious, although I'd bet she's Greengrass.
>>
>>27056664
That's some harsh shit.

Funny
but harsh
>>
>>27056693
Isn't awakening an origin just making one aware of it?

Either way, he knows it. It's already going to consume his existence.
>>
>>27056491

>Thoughts of Spite, what you will do the hat if the two of you are separated.
crush it burn it wound it

honestly I was thinking "SLYTHERIN!"
>>
>>27056719
So Ron is going to get an unealthy obssession with the sorting hat just because I has a sword hidden in It?
>>
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>>27056664
>Implying those who take up the Gold and Onyx aren't exemplars of HARD WORK AND DETERMINATION.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ng3zX85vhIE
>>
>>27056491
>Thoughts of Illya. And how you'll be -damned- if the two of you are separated.

We have a contract we must fulfill, and being in a different house would make it more difficult to uphold our obligations. SHUT UP HAT GET OUR OF MY MEMORIES DON'T ASK QUESTIONS!

>>27056654
Damn you have ruined the word Hufflepuff for me.
>>
>>27056719
>>27056739
We have to Kill it now, just to get him a good Sword to work with.
>>
>>27056491
>>Thoughts of the von Einzberns. How they were - are - more your family than the Dursley's ever were.

All roads lead to Hufflepuff long live the bumbling badger of mediocrity
>>
>>27056491
>>Thoughts of Illya. And how you'll be -damned- if the two of you are separated.

Lets be honest here, the hat will know what a terror Illya will be without Harry to keep her in check. We're doing this for the integredy of the school. Honest.
>>
>>27056741
Ohhhh I like your style
>>
>>27056491
>>Thoughts your Origin. How you -need- someone to ground you, to keep yourself sane.
I figure this is the pretty natural place for our thoughts to drift first.
>>
>>27056739
>>27056750
For fuck's sake, I tried to explain it last thread.

The sword isn't IN the hat. The hat can act as a dimensional portal to the sword for a true Gryffindor. This is because before it was used for the Sorting, the hat belonged to Godric Gryffindor himself.
>>
>>27056754
>bumbling badger of mediocrity
>Cedric Motherfuckin' Pimplord Broking Diggory

DOES NOT COMPUTE

Seriously, Hufflepuff is just chill. That doesn't mean they can't be awesome.
>>
>>27056793
>>Cedric Motherfuckin' Pimplord Broking Diggory
Also known as the guy who died last year
>>
>>27056812
And yet...

We believe in him.

Also, that speech is clearly a fake. That wasn't Pomona's motherly voice encouraging her little flowers to succeed. Clearly Gryffindor propaganda meant to demoralize the noble sons of the Gold and Onyx.
>>
>>27056838
Y'know, the 'puff robes look less derpy if you use more onyx and go easy on the yellow.

Like the old HRE.
>>
>>27056886
Honestly an onyx robe with gold trim would look pretty good.
>>
>>27056929
>onyx robe with gold snake for a trim
you know you want it.
>>
>>27056838
I think it was Ravenclaw. Gryffindor and Slytherin get the most screentime while Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff are barely seen in comparison. Ravenclaw can't compete with the two strongest houses so it has to settle with kicking hufflepuff while it's down.

That, and David Mitchell strikes me as a Ravenclaw rather than a Gryffindor.
>>
>>27056945
>It'shappening.jpg
>>
>>27056491
>Thoughts of the von Einzberns. How they were - are - more your family than the Dursley's ever were.
>>
>>27056956
Nah, Ravenclaw's are too reclusive to give a fuck. Hufflepuffs are to polite to get involved. It would have to be Gryff or Slyth.
>>
Guys, I had to go to sleep before the end of the last thread, but I have to say that I'm proud of you for showing our loyalty to the green and black. Ya hya chouhada!
>>27056741
They're also both exceptional finders, and made of pure GATSU!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNFm7-UgobE
>>
>>27056741
Proffessor, you'd let us know if Kaleido Pink's background music started playing this, right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEEPosF-tNU
>>
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>>27057030
>>27056956
>>27056838
>>27056812
I'll admit, you've lost me.
>>
>>27057050
See >>27056664 link
>>
>>27057065
Ah, got it.

Now I feel silly.
Shirou must feel like this ALL THE TIME. I really don't know how he lives his life.
>>
>>27057098
by trying to be a hero, a dream forced on him by another
>>
>>27057098
To break from the accepted joke for a moment, he's not actually all that stupid or clueless normally. He's just naive, and REALLY bad at picking up on the signs that a girl is interested in him.
>>
>>27057098
The cooking must relax him. There has to be a reason he keeps on insisting on it.
>>
>>27057098

So wait if Ron is Shiro here.....does that mean he is going to be in Hufflepuff?
>>
>>27057124
Nah, he's Sword. Gryffindor has a sword. He's a perfect fit.
>>
>>27057124
Arguably Shirou's blind desire to be a hero and save everyone means that he would be, in many ways, the ideal of exactly what a Gryffindor is SUPPOSED to be.
>>
>>27057139
You are now imagining Godric Gryffindor as a Servant.
Quick, what would the Sword's stats as a Noble Phantasm be?
>>
>>27057124
His origin is all but confirmed as SWORD, if the Hat can pick up on that, it'll stick him in Gryffindor most likely because Gryffindors sword good.

Also, Shirou wanted to be a hero, and Gryffindors are supposed to be heroic, so if he assimilated some of that personality then he's even more of a lock-in.
>>
>>27057148
It would be a terrible Noble Phantasm compared to something like Excalibur. The only thing it can actually do is adapt itself to incorporate outside factors that would make it stronger.
>>
>>27057148
Errr... C or B Rank NP, holy sword capable of banishing dark/malicious magic?

I can't remember much about it off the top of the head.
>>
First time seeing this, I just wanna point out that we have both SPITEFUL and COMPASSIONATE.

Shouldn't these be mutually exclusive?
>>
>>27057185
Nah, we're just going to become the leader of a cult or something. It's fine.
>>
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As you walk up to the stool, a funny little man waiting for you with the Hat in hand, you fill your mind with thoughts of Illya. How miserable your life was before that day three years ago, when she saw a small crowd of students picking on you and decided that it was her duty as "the Heroine of Justice" to sic her pet attack dog on them. How she was your first - and, until Hermione came along, only - friend, and how somehow you were hers. How she treated all the weird and freaky crap that happened around you like it was normal; and how to her, the child of two Magi, it must have been.

How you will -fucking cut- that glorified dorm assignment program if it doesn't assign you to the same house as her.

You take a seat on the stool. The funny short guy lowers the Hat onto your head.

There is a pregnant pause.

"You don't have many friends, do you?" The hat asks.

"About as many as you have tact, actually," you reply, a smile cutting across your face.

"Point, point," he - that raspy voice can only be a he - says. "Now let's see here. You are perhaps the first student I've ever sorted who is not only aware of what their root cause is, but have been awakened to its meaning...

"Hmmm... troubling, that is most troubling. You are -remarkably- tacit with your impulses to cause death... though I suppose its fortunate you satisfy yourself with killing -things- rather than people... Your... distress at killing Mr. Quirrel today, yes... that's enough. No, without that, I don't think I could in good conscience sort you -anywhere- Mr. Potter.

"You see, without that... why, you'd have all the makings of a homicidal maniac."

"That's nice," you say. "Just get this over with and put me in Hufflepuff. You and I both know what's going to happen if you don't."

>Field too long.
>>
>>27057203
"Ah, but it takes much courage, to blackmail a mind reader..." The Hat drawls, his voice becoming playful. "I'd say... indeed, a Gryffindor trait. And intelligence, to suspect that I might -not- value my own life... that could put you in Ravenclaw."

"But my loyalty to my closest friend," you say. "And the ends that I would go to be with her..."

"And how damned your soul would be if you were separated," the Hat continues. "Yes, without someone to... anchor you, you would be quite a danger to the Student Body Mr. Potter. Yes, better to not fiddle with this arrangement, and let things mature." The Hat hums a final time. "Yes, you -need- Hufflepuff. You don't quite embody it's traits, as is traditional... you are closer to Slytherin in temperment, to be sure. But your Teacher will pass you all the cunning you'll need, I imagine.

"Better here in school, for you to forge bonds of friendship with your peers. And for that, there is no better smithy than HUFFLEPUFF!"

The entire Hall is silent.

It's almost as if that was the last House they expected you to be sorted into.

Really, you -do- hope that you're getting royalties for all those books that are using your name.

You...
>Happily join Illya at the Hufflepuff table.
>Make a snarky comment at the dumbstruck crowd.
>Obtain schadenfreude from Severus, whom you are fairly sure dislocated his jaw when it dropped.
>[OTHER]
>>
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This looks like it might be relevant for this quest.
>>
>>27057160
>Terrible Noble Phantasm
>Compared to Excalibur
>Excalibur
That's like saying a woman is ugly because she's not one of the top ten most attractive women in the world. Excalibur's kind of setting the bar high.
>>
>>27057148
depends... is he caster?or saber?

caster? probley rank b-b+

as saber A

and gains rank with enough kills for both modes goblin-made items only imbibe what makes them stronger
>>
>>27057203
>that image
>with that filename
Are you implying that if we somehow save Cedric from dying a hero, he'll live long enough to see himself become the villain?
>>27057210
>Make a snarky comment at the dumbstruck crowd.
"It's not Atreides, but it'll do."
>>
>>27057210
SNARK.
"It's not courage if nothing scares you. You don't have ambition when you're already the best. And I hate birds."
>>
>>27057210
Schadenfreude. Definitely Schadenfreude.
>>
>>27057210
>Happily join Illya at the Hufflepuff table.

And now we can spend the next 4 years fending off amorous admirers.
>>
>>27057243
Whatever we do, do not say this. This joke has been ran into the ground so hard it's legally Chinese.
>>
>>27057247

I really like that line
>>
>>27057185
Nope!

You're spiteful, in that when someone pisses you off, it is UNFORGIVABLE, and you will do everything in your capacity to make their lives miserable (or end them, if you hate them enough).

You're compassionate, in that one of your striving goals is to be better people than your Aunt, Uncle, and Cousin ever were. And thus, you try to help people as much as you can, if you don't already hate them.

This used to be in the first post of every thread, I'm not why I deleted it (must have needed more room). It'll be back next thread.
>>
>>27057210
"I could only be happier if it was House Atreides"
>Happily join Illya at the Hufflepuff table.
>>
>>27057185
Not really.

You can both help poor chaps in need AND react to bad things with extreme malice.
>>
>>27057210
I was going to have a unique response, but this seems to fit. >>27057247
>>
>>27057210
>>Happily join Illya at the Hufflepuff table.
Because fuck everyone else, we got what we wanted. Those like that little red headed tart that think they -know- us, well who gives a flying fuck what they think right now?
>>
>>27057210
>Happily join Illya at the Hufflepuff table.
Glance at the teachers' table to obtain schadenfreude
>>
>>27057247
I'll toss my vote to that one, I suppose.
>>
>>27057247
lol snark but just to Illya
>>
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>>27057203
>>27057210
>Dumbledore's face when the hat tells him it would not take much for us to go on a killing spree
>and how hard it would be to stop us
>>
Wait we've got 26 circuits but only one is open?

We gotta fix that shit.
>>
>>27057337
We have four open according to another part of that post.

Chaos, proofread your pasta.
>>
>>27057336
yo be fair he knows we ganked a teacher before day one of classes
>>
>>27057337
It says four.
>>
So we've got an origin that leans us towards murder, and we've got the MEoDP.

Holy shit, this is bad. Like, Sealing Designation bad. Or at least recruitment to go kill vampires bad.
>>
>>27057363
Yo to be fair, that teacher was a Death Eater.
>>
>>27057367
Yes, this is why we haven't actually told anybody. Except Kerrytugu.
>>
>>27057264
lol
yes YES!
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>>27057367
>implying joining the Burial Agency is bad
>implying a chance to be a walking Buddy Cop movie with Ciel is bad
>>
>>27057367
>implying that wouldn't make us the perfect Auror to go kick badguys collective asses.
>>
>>27057336
"Miss Einzbern must NEVER come to harm."
>>
>>27057367
Anon, if we join the Burial Agency, we get Black Keys. MEoDP would have BULLSHIT good synergy with Black Keys.
>>
>>27057390
>dat feel where if for any reason nrvn decides to kill off illya as illya is wont to have happen that harry is EXTREMELY likely to snap in half and go kill a fuckload of things.
>>
>>27057396
>join burial agency
>be buddies with kirei
>get black keys
>REJOICE!
>>
>>27057367
Its not like thats a surprise. We've known all along what our Origin is and what it means.
>>
>>27057213

I know there oughta be a rape step... Oh, also:

>snarky comment and smile at Snape
>>
>>27057396
I wonder if Voldemort no longer counts as human. Because then we can stick a Black Key in his shadow and lol at him.
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>>27057396
And you'd have the best possible teacher too!
>>
>>27057420
Pretty sure anyone who uses Horcruxes ain't human anymore, considering that it forcibly tears your soul to pieces. So yeah, we need at least one Black Key for when we take on Moldy Voldy.
>>
>>27057424
I'm rejoicing already.
>>
>>27057424
Yes, I'll take twenty.
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>>27057424
>>
>>27057424
>harry with kotomine
>2 sociopaths trying to make sense in the world.
REJOICE!
>>
>>27057424
I can rejoice to this.
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>>27057449
Okay!
>>
>>27057373
so you know even more tough/hard to kill

>>27057396
I am pretty sure there is a day light charm that will wreck there unlives too
>>
>>27057447
Depends on your Origin, really.

If you have an Origin of, say, Fragmentation and Defragmentation like Tonksquest Tom does you'd be perfectly fine with splitting your soul up.
>>
>>27057424
>>27057448
>>27057449
>>27057455
>>27057459
>>27057461
Kerry might get pissed about this, actually, but I could not care about that any less. It needs to happen.
>>
>>27057474
NOPE. Kerry and Kirei got along swell in this timeline, because Gil was a bro and didn't tempt Kirei to evil.
>>
>>27057474
no hes buddies with kotomine in this universe so its ok
remember the grail didn't go to shit in this universe so gil wasn't a complete dick so kotomine didn't decide he feels happy when he ruins someones day.
>>
>>27057459
>walk right into the ministry and put Lucius down on his knees in front of the crowd
>You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world! You will witness what happens here today, and you will tell of it later. All eyes to the front.
Hey Professor, how good would we have to get to be able to dotstab with a bullet, hypothetically speaking?
>>
>>27057490
>didn't decide
Wouldn't it be "didn't realize"? I mean, we have, so he can still be fixed.
>>
>>27057474
I think the worst Kerrytugu would feel would be vaugely annoyed that we're not going with him instead.

He and Kirei more or less buddy-copped it up in the last grail war. Gil was Proto!Gil and the broest of broes. The only ties the 4th war has to F/Z are the characters.
>>
>>27057469
Is it just me, or do the middle Kireis look different from the ones on the edge?
>>
>>27057497
and much rejoicing would be had that day.
>>
>>27057490
Oh god I wonder if Kirei is a loving father to Caren now.

They go out and lightly troll people they meet.
>>
>>27057499
No, he already knows about it.

He just doesn't stop feeling incredibly guilty about it until Gil convinces him to just be himself.
>>
>>27057497
So is Kirei our Il Duce?
>>
>>27057517
I don't think he's CAPABLE of love, but he'd care for her out of duty.

Kirei will never ever be happy unless he's evil. Which is sad.
>>
>>27057528
i don't think its evil, i think its only when hes doing something horrible to someone else.
i think you could channel that for good, just get him to go hunt badguys and do whatever the fuck he wants to them and he will be happy as a clam.
>>
>>27057521
We shall deliver him salvation and joy. There shall be merriment's and suffering, and everybody wins, except whoever is in the way.
>>
>>27057526
And for that matter, who would be Rocco?
>>
>>27057526
>Now they're staring at six men with black keys drawn. It was a fuckin' ambush.
>There was a swordfight!
>What if it was one guy with six keys?
>>
>>27057537
IIRC its made pretty clear in the novels. THey go over things that aren't really mentioned in the anime, like how he felt about his wife. (Only regret is not killing her himself, and feels really guilty about that.)
>>
>>27057551
Neville.
And Mad-Eye Moody is Smecker.
>>
>>27057528
Not even then. He has enough of a conscience from his faith that even by Stay Night he still knows it's wrong, and is a little guilty from that.
>>
>>27057528
I'm betting that bro-Gillgamesh taught him that he could find happiness by lightly pranking people.

Man, Professor I still really want an intermission covering the 4th Grail War.
>>
>>27057555
that still fits in the parameters of what i was saying of his idea to be happy is to ruin someone elses life, preferably through straight out murder.
i'm simply saying that could be used for something constructive.
>>
>>27057569
You can't really make Kirei happy without making him either evil or someone else entirely.
>>
>>27057592
Evil is just a point of view. One could say Harry is evil. Would you condemn a man to suffering and death just because of the way he was born?
>>
There is the possiblity that, like how some Potter characters are totally different (Hannah Abbot in Gryffindor?), Kirei doesn't only find happiness in ruining lives.
>>
>>27057592
Oh Kirei is evil, yeah.

Kerry just taught him to channel that evil against even worse evils. Which is why he rejoined the assembly of the Eighth Sacrament and spends his free time torturing heretics.
>>
>>27057557
>Mad-Eye is Smecker.
>Tonks is Eunice Bloom.
My god.
>>
>>27057612
So basically Kirei is Kerry but with minimal guilt and maximum loving this shit?
>>
>>27057609
>Hannah Abbot in Gryffindor?

Somebody had to take Harry's canon spot in Gryffindor.

By the way, where'd Hermione end up? Ravenclaw?
>>
>>27057554
>They used a memory charm! None of this is any goodFUCK! You know what that means?! Even if we get suspects in the case we got nothin'!
>>
put quest in your subject
I want my filters to filter.
>>
>>27057612
huh. That's certainly a thing. So how's Caren?
>>
>>27057638
Filter his tripcode.
>>
>>27057633
Huh... Hermione wasn't mentioned. Maybe we just weren't paying attention?

You know, I'm rather curious as to what the Sorting Hat thought of her being a Magical Girl apprenticed to Goddamn Zelretch.
>>
>>27057638
Second this but for the opposite reason.

Its a pain in the ass to find Quest threads in the Catalogue or Foolz without the Quest tag.
>>
>>27057620
Yeah pretty much. He loves his job~

>>27057638
Sorry. I was actually banging my head against the wall when I realized I didn't. Hopefully this one thread isn't too inconvenient.

>>27057633
Yeah she's a Claw. Forgot to mention that.

>>27057644
Learning the trade from him, as any dutiful daughter would.
>>
>>27057612
called it
he enjoys killing folk
and he found a good outlet by killing worse baddies.
>>
>>27057653
Maybe Hermione wasn't sorted. Maybe Kaleido Pink was.
>>
>>27057655
So, how long before Illya's "Uncle Kirei" comes to visit and decides it's a good idea to show Harry a certain movie about Irish vigilantes, planting an idea in the impressionable lad's head?
>>
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>>27057655
>Learning the trade from him, as any dutiful daughter would.

Damnit. I was doing so good until I read that...
>>
>>27057655
>>27057612
Lovely. So we've got two crazy, super-sadistic religious maniacs running around.
>>
>>27057655
So we're already sort-of friends with several Gryffindors, a Ravenclaw, a Slytherin, and several Hufflepuffs.

We're going to be the Heart of our group, aren't we?
>>
>>27057655
Does that mean Kirei will come to us, or do we just have to happen across him eventually?

>>27057679
Caren's totally an M.
>>
>>27057683
If by "be the Heart" you mean "be the guy who goes Mola Ram on the first person to hurt any of our friends" then most certainly.
>>
>>27057683
As resident MG, I would think Hermionie would be the Heart. Or at least the Friendship.
>>
>>27057683
Better than being the Death of it.
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>>27057671
>>
>>27057683
We aren't a healthy enough person to lead, and never will be. If Draco gets entrenched, he is a politicians son, so he might manage it.
>>
>>27057671
Irish vigilantes?
>>
>>27057712
Boondock Saints.
>>
>>27057712
Yes. Irish vigilantes. And their Italian-American friend.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MkT2wW3-1jQ
Several anons have been scheming to get together with Kirei and go Boondock Saints on every Death Eater they can find.
>>
>>27057720
>>27057725
Oh, I feel stupid for not having gotten that now.
>>
>>27057712
http://www.boondocksaints.com/

but how would he know of the films? inset he japanse?
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>>27057712
Go watch it. Now.
>>
>>27057742
Not him, but I might do that after this quest.
>>
>>27057742
I've seen it, I just managed to completely blank on the reference
>>
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You stand up from the stool, passing the Sorting Hat to the somewhat bamboozled funny little guy.

"Well, I suppose I can't have everything," You say. "I was still kind of holding out for House Atreides."

Unfortunately, the Twins are the only ones who laugh. You take a look around, and catch the staff table in the corner of your eye. Gandalf - you mean, Dumbledore - looks simultaneously relieved and worried, probably because this isn't according to his no doubt long and elaborate plan, but at least you're not in Slytherin. Severus seems to have dislocated his jaw, as he's flapping it about trying to close his mouth, but failing miserably. The rest of the staff can be described within a range of shock between dumbfounded and disoriented, with the exception of a stumpy matronly woman who seems pleasantly surprised.

"Mr. Potter," the cool old lady says, being the first of the lot to properly regain her composure. "Please take your seat at your house so we may continue the ceremony."

You do as you're told, and saunter on down to the Hufflepuff table. There is a moderate amount of celebration when it sinks in that yes - the Boy-Who-Live will in fact be wearing the proud Onyx and Gold of the 'Puffs - during which you slink in to a seat next to Illya, and glare daggers at the boy who was making doe eyes at her. Illya, being Illya, decides that there really isn't much need for the two of you to occupy to spaces at the table, and in total disregard for your personal space, slips on to your lap.

Fine.

She's why you're here, anyways.

"Weasley, Ron..."

You note that the hat barely has to touch his head before it declares its verdict.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

>Field too long
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>>27057671
YES.

Not really though, because that would necessitate Tom getting a similar upgrade. Remember, when counter-guardians are involved, everybody looses.
>>
>>27057762

With one more fellow to be sorted - some South African bloke whose mother saddled him with a girl's name, poor sod - the ceremony is over. Dumbledore gives a few words following the sorting - four, to be exact, all of which you are fairly sure are just nonsense words that he made up on the spot, before declaring the Feast to have begun. Out of fricking no where, the table that you had been leaning on becomes quite literally covered with food. A nearly excessive amount of food, all of which looks quite tasty.

You decide to...
>Let Illya pick what the two of you eat, as you have no doubt that she'll insist you share plate and utensils.
>Go for the hearty German looking stuff. Winter meals are best meals.
>Go for a bit lighter fair, a more civilized taste of Urban Britain.
>Wait is that friggin' shashimi? Why the heck not?
>There is pasta. With Vodka sauce. You'll need a plate or four of that.
>[OTHER]
>>
>Gone to catch some Z's. Will return to thread in the mornish.
>>
>>27057612
So he is a Warham inquisitor, neat
>>
>>27057766
So yeah, there's a certain limit to how crazy things can get before we get dogpiled by heroes who will kill us and everyone we know.
>>
>>27057766
>implying Tom hasn't already been upgraded to be Roa-tier at bare minimum
>not wanting to run around on a mission from god murdering Death Eaters
>>27057767
>There is pasta. With Vodka sauce. You'll need a plate or four of that.
>>
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>>27057767
Bust out the Everclear.

Not really though, instead go for

>Girl's choice
>>
>>27057767
>There is pasta. With Vodka sauce. You'll need a plate or four of that.

I know you've been asked all the time, but what sort of homebrew are you using? I've got some lads I game with that would want to play a good Nasuverse-friendly system.
>>
>>27057767
Pasta is fine.
>>
Oh dear, asking /tg/ on what to eat. This never ends well.
>>
>>27057767
Go for magic Shashimi, who knows what sorta magical fish they cut it from
>>
>>27057767
>>[OTHER]
try a bit of everything
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>>27057767
>Go for the hearty German looking stuff. Winter meals are best meals.

German food master race.

>>27057803
>Begun, the Food Wars have
>>
>>27057767
>[OTHER]Call Ron over and have him cook something. If he's this universe's Shirou he could whip something up quickly.

More seriously, >[X]Let Illya pick what the two of you eat, as you have no doubt that she'll insist you share plate and utensils.
>>
>>27057767
>wait for illyas choice cause why the fuck not
>>
>>27057798

Stats are Strength, Agility, Endurance, Intelligence, and Luck. These can be upgraded. Circuit Quality and Circuit Count cannot (without taking a Crest Perk)

Skills are whatever you feel is pertinent. There is a martial art for every stat except the Circuit ones.

Rank skills and stats from F (Non Existant) to EX+. F is 0, EX+ is 12 (A+ is 10, etc.). Skill Rating is Skill Rank + the numerical value of the relevant Stat. When no stress is involved, you try to roll 3d6 under this number.

Most challenges are not stress less. Assign a penalty to the number based upon difficulty. That becomes the new target roll. Generally, penalties should not exceed 12.

Saves are Luck+Relevant Other Stat, minus the difficulty modifier. Again, roll under.

Prana per circuit is measure as follows:

EX+ is 25, EX is 20, A+ is 16, A is 13, B+ is 10, B is 7, C+ is 6, C is 5, D+ is 4, D is 3, E+ is 2, E is 1.

The point buy (to buy rating in STATS) is as follows:

E is 0, E+ is 1, D is 3, D+ is 5, C is 7, C+ is 10, B is 13, B+ is 16, A is 20, A+ is 24, EX is 29 and EX+ is 35.

Skill ranks are bought at 2 points per rank.

The average Human in the Modern Era has 100 points at Character Creation. The Average Human in the Age of the Gods would have 200. MEoDP cost 100 points.

Generally, spells are better than weapons at killing things. Unless said weapon is a noble phantasm.

Attacking is a bit complex. Your defense is your best attack skill, minus 10. Harry's is 3, for instance. Armor adds to this number. To attack, you roll under your attack skill and find the difference. If it is higher than your target's defense value, you hit. Lower, you miss. Ties go to the attacker.

Most mundane weapons deal 1 wound. Heavy guns can deal a bit more, depending.

Usually the MEoDP deal a number of wounds equal to the difference between you [Skill-Roll] and the target's defense value with a direct attack on their lines. This quest being more cinematic, Harry just instagibs things.
>>
>>27057767
>There is pasta. With Vodka sauce. You'll need a plate or four of that.
>>
>>27058037
I fucking love you. Thanks.
>>
>>27058037
thats actually pretty cool.
>>
>>27058037
Was the deal with Ilya in the boat a Geas or not?
>>
>>27058107
Wouldn't have been much point to the elaborate written agreement otherwise.
>>
>>27058037
You have a number of wounds equal to your endurance. Toughness gives you two additional wounds each time you take the Perk.

Perks generally cost 3 points. Thaumaturgic Crest Perks cost 5 points.

Each Thaumaturgic Crest Perk you take gives you 1 EX rank circuit. For every three times you take this perk, you receive one [Family] Mystery.

Mysteries generally have a minimum required Circuit Quality, under which you take a -1 penalty to your Magecraft Rating for every step below the required Circuit Quality yours is. The Practiced Caster Perk can reduce this penalty by 1 for each time you take it, though it costs 5 points to take.

>>27058107
No, it was not. Illya was being facetious - she does that from time to time.

>>27058128
That's just the way Illya rolls.
>>
>>27058128
Geasa are powerful magic, can she really do that out of nowhere?
>>27058154
Ah, sweet, we won't accidentally bone her on the day in a Geas fuelled rampage.
>>
>>27058161
Ahahaha oh jesus that would have been hilarious.
>>
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>>27058154
>>
>>27058778
If someone's interested, this pic is from the hentai doujin Motto Motto!. The first doujin I've ever read, the one that made Illya my first favorite loli.
>>
>>27057767
Pasta vvith Vodka sauce. Drunken Illya incoming.
>>
>Hufflepuff is the most inclusive among the four houses; valuing hard work, patience, loyalty, and fair play rather than a particular aptitude in its members.
>Patience, Fair play, Hard work and loyalty

Am I the only one who thinks these values would make a good structure for a mafia family?
"You work hard for the house and the house works hard for you."
"Protect the house and the house in turn protects you."
"Be patient and have faith, the house will not forget their misdeeds."
"The house shall make sure the they'll be held accountable for what they did, no matter what underhanded deeds they try to employ to weazel their way out of this."
>>
>>27059362
It's exactly hovv our family vvorks.
>>
Just occurred to me that Mami almost certainly knows about how a professor tried to kill us and we had to kill him in turn.

She's going to be so sorry an innocent first year who's been through so much already experienced that. She'll bury our head so deep in her hard work and loyalty that Illya will be crowned queen of England.
>>
>>27059871
Who is mami again?
>>
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>>27059955
A miracle of the universe.

Also Head Girl.
>>
>>27060074
Ah, so she was the one that was in the train, got it.
>>
>>27059955
mami is the yellow haired shick from madoka, shes also head of hufflepuff, our house we just got in.
also better question is how in the fuck did illya end up in hufflepuff?
>>
Remind me, what magic did Ilya start learning pre-hogwarts apart from Alchemy? I know there was something.
>>
>>27060148
Hufflepuff is basically a Yandere central. What's with loyalty, hard work and patience
>>
>>24789242

>If we get into Hufflepuff, can we scream "Eulalia!" at least once before fighting Voldemort?

SO.
>>
>>27060182
>You only know an Alchemist (Iri) and a Shinsendou specialist (Kerry). Illya is learning a bit of both, and has just recently received the first part of the Emiya Crest from Kerry.


>Illya has received just enough of the Crest to possess one of its mysteries - Time Alteration, Double Acceleration.
>>
>>27060204
>Hufflepuff is basically a Yandere central
>the boy who lived
>in yandere central

oh christ it's school days all over again
>>
>>27060148
Mami is head girl. Professor Sprout is head of Hufflepuff.
>>
>>27060529
>Ilya has Kerry's timeh4x
>In addition to magus Alchemy and soon, Hogwarts Magic

Jesus fucking christ, I fit wasn't for the Eyes Illya would be orders of magnitude more terrifying than us.
>>
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>>27057767
>Check it for Poison
>Let Illya pick what the two of you eat, as you have no doubt that she'll insist you share plate and utensils.
>There is pasta. With Vodka sauce. You'll need a plate or four of that.
>>
>>27061017
Jesus christ grinning Snape is disconcerting as hell.
>>
>>27060907
Illya has been learning for all her life. Conversely we've been learning for one year and don't have the advantage of a family crest like she's received part of. We haven't done much with actual magecraft yet which is a shame.
Personally I want the crafting of better and better mystic codes to be our path to the root.
>>
>>27061083
...Are you telling me Illya is Magical Hit Girl, now with time hax action?
>>
>>27061916
Let's turn the only thing keeping us from going kill Kirei into Kerrytugu. What can possibly go wrong?

No, seriously, let's actually do that.
>>
>>27061916
More or less.
>>
>>27061962
Correct me if I'm wrong, but won't Nasuverse alchemy allow Illya to create weapons on the fly? Could she slap a brick and turn it into C4? or can she turn junk into serviceable firearms?
>>
>>27062020
Not in the way Shirou does. But Alchemy is presumably what let Iri create those bird things, and it's what Sion uses to control her Eitherlite (and what she uses to pull Barrel Replica out of seemingly nowhere).
>>
>>27062074
Yeah, I know it's different than making things out of prana, I was just wondering what the structural/complexity limits are. I would assume that papa M-Killer taught her the ins and outs of several weapons, but does that mean she can create a PKM out of a chair or rubble?

Bear in mind that with reinforcement/ homunculus biology she could effectively wield anything lighter than a heavy MG with a certain degree of accuracy.
>>
>>27062207
...Barretts?
>>
>>27062020

it depends on what Ilya picks up from Kerry and Hogwarts, I'd imagine. If you look at their gambits in the F/Zero and F/SN grail wars, they A) hired a mercenary to represent them and then B) fielded a homonculus to fuel what should have been an overpowered berserker servant.

The Einzberns and even their homonculi aren't really set up for direct combat- they got wiped out of the first three grail wars early. Their alchemy is focused on the creation and manipulation of matter.

Ilya shouldl be able to make a bunch of stuff- like the robes she stitched together- and could probably make firearms out of pieces of firearms quickly enough, but she probably won't be able to make a gun out of a lump of rock or something on the fly.

This Ilya's probably not as much of a monster as the F/SN Ilya, in terms or prana capacity and magical circuits, too. She probably didn't undergo the modifications to make her a host for the grail (that led to her failing to grow up and having a shortened lifespan).

On the other hand, she's going to have the Emiya family crest in the end, which is not to be sneered at. Can time manipulation be combined with alchemy?
>>
>>27062337
I don't think the Fake Reality Marble can be combined with alchemy.
>>
>>27062366

Don't think she could use it to make alchemy happen faster?

I suppose it'd probably be quicker to turn a brick into a bomb with wand magic anyway.
>>
>>27062393
Gods yes.

We need to pay attention *SO HARD* in transmutation.

Get good at that shit and we can indeed turn rocks into C4.

I just pray Professor doesn't go HPMOR full retard regards to Transmutation.
>>
>>27062393
Look at your wand, now look at me. Look at your wand again. It's now a stick of dynamite.
>>
>>27062539
>HPMOR full retard
Ya lost me.
>>
This thread had some of the most blatant "subtle" railroading that I've ever seen.
>>
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>>27062539
>HPMOR
Eauearagahgh
>>
>>27062598
People had come to a consensus a while ago that Hufflepuff might be best, but yeah. I think I see where you're going with that and agree somewhat.
>>
>>27062591
tl;dr Harry Potter fanfic written by crazy AI cultist about 11-year-old Harry being a mouthpiece for his own hyper-strict brand of SCIENCE!

Transfiguration classes were basically "We're teaching eleven-year-olds how to make the equivalent of WMDs because the logical progression of transmuting a solid into a gas, having people breath it in and then dispelling it basically makes their cells explode."

LessWrong, the author, is kinda fucked up in the head.
>>
>>27062539
>>27062591
>>27062633
>>27062741
Can we put off any more discussion of HPMoR at least until after autosage? It never goes well.
>>
>>27062741
That makes some amount of sense. I mean it really is not something that should be taught in the class, but that is a somewhat reasonable application of Transfiguration, I suppose.
>>
>>27062700
>People had come to a consensus a while ago that Hufflepuff might be best

Really?
Should have been a definite vote anyway. Might have been different result.
Not really happy with the choice myself but it seems that in this universe that House is not as looked down upon and in the original setting.
>>
>>27062872
To be fair, you can't really argue with the Hat's reasoning.

We had the traits to fit well in ANY of the houses. We ended up in Hufflepuff because our loyalty for Ilya overpowered them, though.

The question now is why Ilya ended up a 'Puff.
>>
>>27062913
I think he's not talking about the Hat but instead making the implication that the author putting Ilya into Hufflepuff also railroaded the players into it.
>>
>>27062913
A little-known trait of Hufflepuffs is that they tend to be absolutely kinky freaks in bed.
>>
>>27062913
Dedication to get Harry
>>
>>27062954
>>27062955
>>27062956
Extreme simultaneity.
>>
>>27062913
>We ended up in Hufflepuff because our loyalty for Ilya overpowered them, though.

I know. That's why I called it a bit of railroading. It is obvious that we'd have gone to the same house as Illya, even Slytherin. Waifus are amazing tool for GM to guide their players.
We should have been sorted earlier than her, then our choice wouldn't have been so biased.
>>
>>27062913
yanderes go to hufflepuff. dat loyalty
>>
>>27062991
Except Sorting goes alphabetically. That's HP canon, and not something worth changing because BAWW I DON'T LIKE HUFFLEPUFF.

Also, it's not really railroading when it's pretty obviously based on the character-defining decisions we've made up to this point.
>>
>>27063035
Making a strawman out of him and exaggerating his points is not an effective way of arguing.

That aside, several people had in the past raised the point von Einzbern as a surname meant that she could go before or after us.
>>
>>27063064
I actually looked it up between threads, since it's canonically lower-case v "von Einzbern," it's not considered part of the last name, like Ludwig van Beethoven. If it were capital V, like Martin Van Buren, then it would be considered part of the last name.

But alphabetizing surnames with foreign prepositions like that is weird.
>>
>>27063035
>it's not really railroading
Yes it is. Don't fucking delude yourself. Harry had traits to get into any house so your reasoning does not work. Besides, it felt that the Hat put Harry into Huffelpuff as a compromise, not because it felt that he fit there the best.

Didn't know about the Alphabetic thing though. Do they go with surnames? Does "von" in "von Einzbern" count when sorting alphabetically?
>>
>>27062913

The homonculi seem to be insanely loyal, to the point that canon Iri and Ilya were both entirely willing to die for the family (Or Kerry's) goals.

It's entirely possible she out-loyals Hufflepuff. It's just a question of where that loyalty's directed.
>>
>>27063163
Oh, I guess I got my answer here. >>27063121


Still you cannot refute that we would have followed Illya into any house she went, so perhaps some adjusting should have been made to not make it feel so railroad-y
>>
>>27063163

Hufflepuff's been the consensus for a number of threads now. I suppose he could have put it to (another?) vote, but I'd be stunned if any other house had won.

Alphabetically the Einzberns are the Einzberns. "von" is German for "from" of "of the"

It makes a bit more sense if you put it into english. She's Illyasviel von Einsbern, or Illyasviel of the Einsberns. You'd alphabetize her until "Einsbern", not under "of the"
>>
>>27063231
I see. I don't read the discussion so I wouldn't know.
What was the reason for choosing Hufflepuff?
>>
>>27063291
I've been here the whole time and I have no idea why we went Hufflepuff, to be honest.
>>
>>27063327
Yeah, it just sort of happened.

I think someone mentioned Cedric. Then someone pointed out Tonks as well. And then someone pointed out "Hey, you rarely see Harry get sorted into Hufflepuff," so...
>>
>>27063291
I think the logic was something about "Loyalty to our friends". I think we'd fit best in Slytherin or Ravenclaw but eh, I'm fine with it.
>>
>>27063291
Loyalty. Specifically, our Compassion trait.

We certainly aren't a coward, but most of our bravest moments are born from our intense loyalty towards Ilya (see: killing the fuck out of Quirrell for putting her in harm's way). Therefore Hufflepuff is a better fit than Gryffindor.

Slytherin, we aren't terribly ambitious. We certainly have the snarky disposition for it, but we've never really shown any desire to be great.

Ravenclaw, we're certainly sharp, moreso possibly than canon Harry, and we do have a fondness and a talent for investigating and experimenting. It just isn't as huge of a part of our character as the Ilya thing. Plus, we're smart, but not all THAT smart.
>>
>>27063327
>>27063349
>>27063351
....ehhh...


Mami is in Hufflepuff at least, right?
>>
>>27063291
>>27063291
It just felt appropiate. Either Huffypuffies or Slycoopers.

But in the end, I guess Harry was too much of a good kid to actually enter Snaperin.

At least that's how I remember It
>>
>>27063291
>>27063327

It was mostly like
>>27063349
said. Loyalty and belonging is something Harry's just finally found and feels he wants- he's never belonged to a family or group that really cared for him.

Add that to no one ever doing anything with Hufflepuff, Cedric and Tonks being pretty great, and us being able to avoid the whole Gryffindor Versus Slytherin thing, and it kind of took off from there.
>>
>>27063408
Speaking of Cedric, being in Hufflepuff changes some elements for Goblet of Fire around quite a lot, assuming things are even remotely the same by then.

They probably won't be.
>>
>>27063390
Killing Quirrell was going to happen regardless. Remember that you gave Harry a Death based Origin and full on PTSD whenever he thinks about using magecraft.
>>
>>27063408
there was also this thing early on which went something like "if we're in hufflepuff, no one will see it coming if we go dark lord 2.0"
>>
>>27063291
Mostly somewhere along the lines of
"I'd rather be surrounded by guys who aren't assholes."

Also, there were some who were saying Slytherin, mainly because, well, we have the temperament for it + some of us wanted to reform the shit out of it.
>>
>>27063349
You planning on running today/soon as well?
If so, this thread (34 until SAGE) or a new one?
>>
>>27063439
Man, just IMAGINE how easy the tournament is going to be unless heavily modded.

We can talk to dragons, we can open magically closed containers with a knife, we're bros with the biggest guy in the lake and cut our way THROUGH the labyrinth.
And that is right now. In the first year
>>
>>27063501
This thread. Working on a 5th post, would like to have eight before it drops.
>>
>>27063504
Eh. Dragons probably wouldn't care and kraken's probably asked not to interfere. Tournament will probably be way different if it even happens, having it be easy would be boring.
>>
Guys, regarding to Quidditch, would the Mystic Eyes of Death Perception give us any advantage on spotting the Golden Snitch?
>>
>>27063620
Probably.
>>
>>27063620
I think spotting the bundle of charms would be quite easy
>>
>>27063620
I thought everyone hated Quidditch.

Isn't there some club/sport where people go to beat each other up. We could use that for advancing our Martial Skills.
Speaking of which, what's with the obsession with Caiporera. Hollow quest has that, now here. It's half-dance, half-fighting type of thing. Using it is only good when your opponent is using the same thing. In real life battles it is not good. Boxing, kick-boxing, thai-boxing are all great choices, so is Krav Maga.
And please don't say it is because we are not physically strong. Strength makes barely any difference in fighting, it all comes down to skill.
>>
>>27063620
We agreed that there were more important things to do than Quidditch, so unless you can make a compelling argument, that probably won't come up. Either way, it should be a little easier to spot the Snitch with the Eyes.
>>
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The Hufflepuff table is different from how you would have expected it. Of course you have this niggling feeling that the Song the Sorting Hat sung might have been more than a little biased. The way he laid things out, Gryffindor was the House of every kid who wanted to be a superhero, Ravenclaw was the House of the Ubernerdden, Slytherin was the House of wannabe supervillains, and Hufflepuff was some sort of afterthought where everyone else got to go.

But Illya got sorted here, and she's been declaring herself the Heroine of Justice since before you met her. And so is Tonks, whose ambition is to join the Wizarding equivalent of the Clocktower Enforcers and the Assembly of the Eighth Sacrament. A profession that by all rights should be dominated by the Superhero crowd.

You wonder for a moment if Dumbledore had anything to do with the content of that song. You mean, sure, it might be paranoid to think that he's some sort of Mastermind working behind the scenes and pulling everyone's strings. But, you -are- destined to face down this Dark Lord Character; lord knows if -you- were in his position, you'd want yourself to be groomed for courage and tendency towards self sacrifice.

Conspiracy theories aside, the food is damned good. You and Illya have put away four plates of a basil rolled pasta covered in vodka sauce, mixed with shrimp and what you can only assume to be carrots. And everyone but you is amused, of course, with her attempts to pull that spaghetti trick from that one old movie whose name you can't remember.

"-so this Year, I think we've actually got a decent shot at the Quidditch Cup." The speaker is a tall fellow, with blonde hair and a striking jawline. "Gryffindor's reserve seekers were a -joke- last year, so unless some prodigy gets special dispensation from the staff to join the team, they shouldn't be much of a threat."

>Field is too long.
>>
>>27063826

"You're just saying that because you're the Seeker, Cedric," You recognize Tonks' voice, which seems somewhat annoyed. "Charlie didn't hold the team together though. Angelina and the other Lionesses did - and guess who has to deal with -them-?"

"Tonks, you're wasting your talent joining the Aurors," Cedric says. "You're the best Keeper Hogwarts has to offer right now. They shouldn't be much of a problem. If Anthony and the others do as well as they did last year, we should have the season in the bag."

You...
>Ignore the conversation entirely. They're talking shop, a shop that doesn't really interest you.
>Speak up, see if you can learn more about Wizard Sports.
>Ask about the Quidditch Cup and Last Year's season.
>Ask if there are any sports in Hogwarts for those who don't like flying.
>[OTHER]
>>
>>27063836
>>Ask if there are any sports in Hogwarts for those who don't like flying.
Might as well see if we can keep up some martial arts practice or something.
>>
>>27063836
>Ask if there are any sports in Hogwarts for those who don't like flying.
DUELING CLUB!
>>
>>27063836
>Ask if there are any sports in Hogwarts for those who don't like flying.
>>
>>27063836
>>Ask if there are any sports in Hogwarts for those who don't like flying.

Beat-the-shit-out-of-each-other-group!
>>
>>27063799
its good for avoiding slow moving projectiles(compared to guns) .. like hexes or charms.

>>27063826
>>27063836

>Ask if there are any other sports in Hogwarts or clubs and what not, what is there to do besides study?
>>
>>27063836
>>Ignore the conversation entirely. They're talking shop, a shop that doesn't really interest you.

I think our time will be better spent learning crazy things and going on ADVENTURES.
>>
>>27063836
>Ignore the conversation entirely. They're talking shop, a shop that doesn't really interest you.
Introduce ourselves to the other firsties. Which I admit mostly means "give the other firsties an opportunity to introduce themselves to us".

... er. _Are_ there other first-year Hufflepuffs? The hat only called out Hufflepuff twice that I see, and we know both of them.
>>
>>27063989
Unless what we heard was the only 11 students to get sorted this year, I'm pretty sure there has to be more hufflepuffs.
>>
Holy shit, I just realized.
During the Triwizard tournament, the golden egg challenge will probably involve kidnapping of Illya.

I don't know what will happen, but I suspect it'll end up fairly corpsy.
>>
>>27063989
>>27064137

It was a montage. Not meant to be literal.

Since there are a thousand students in Hogwarts at any given time according to Rowling, assume that 1/7 of those are freshly sorted firsties.
>>
>>27064165
I'm looking forward to just walking through the maze, the vines apparently wilting before us with a wave of our hand.
>>
>>27064165
We've already discussed it, including the possibility of an enraged Kerry showing up with chopper support.
>>
>>27059362
"I understand. You found paradise in Hogwarts, made good grades, had good friends. The Prefects protected you; and there were rules. And you didn't need a friend of me. But uh, now you come to me and you say -- "Harry Potter give me justice." -- But you don't ask with respect. You don't offer friendship. You don't even think to call me Godfather. Instead, you come into my dorm, and you ask me to do murder, for money."
>>
>>27064168
Assuming even distribution that gives us 35.7142858 fellow first years to introduce ourselves to.
>>
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"Quidditch Cup?" you ask, more out of reflex than any interest.

"One of the two awards that your House can win during the Year," Tonks explains. "And the easier one to win, all things considered. You've just got to beat the pants off of all the other Houses at Quidditch, until the End of Year Tournament takes place between the two teams with the most wins. Gryffindor won it last year, Slytherin before that - ending a 'Puff winning streak four years long."

"And the other award?"

"Oh, that's just the House Cup," Cedric says. "It's been a bit of a joke the last ten years or so, apparently. Slytherin's won it every single time, thanks in a big way to how much their head of house favors them." He sighs. "Professor Snape is a -brilliant- potions professor, don't get me wrong, but..."

"But he's a bit of an ass," Tonks finishes for him. "Hands out points to his own house like candy. Docks points from the others, also like candy. Try to keep under the radar in his class; he only -really- hates the Gryffs, he's mostly ignores everyone else who isn't Slytherin."

"Huh..." you make a noncommital sound, wondering if Dumbledore will give him the Defense position you just vacated. "So what sort of things are there to do besides studying and Quidditch?"

"Well," Cedric says, "If Quidditch isn't your taste, we have a Quodpot Association, though there aren't all that many students involved."

"Mami founded a Tea Appreciation Club last year," Tonks says. "Best Tea you'll find on the grounds, that's for sure, and it doubles as something of an academic society..."

"The Gryffs having been trying to get a Duelling club sanctioned for years now," Cedric says. "To no avail, unfortunately. Staff doesn't like the lax safety standards they write into their charters."

"The Book Club is like any muggle one," Tonks says, "Lots of reading, those ones get up to."

>Field too long
>>
>>27064394


"And then there's the Society for Applied Thaumaturgy," Cedric points out, making a moderately disgusted face. "Though most of their ritual magic is just an excuse for them to break the school's code of conduct without getting in trouble."

You...
>Choose one listed club/society to be explained further.
>Ask Illya which club she thinks she'll join.
>Ask about something that you think should have a club/society.
>[OTHER]
>>
>>27062302
>Illya is now Magical Roberta
Excuse me, I have to go rebuild Hadrian's Wall with the fearbricks I just shat.
>>
>>27064403
>Choose one listed club/society to be explained further.
Dueling Club
>Ask Illya which club she thinks she'll join.
>>
>>27064403
Well, the mahou shojo club is worth thinking about. At the least, we have to push Hermione into it. That aside, the Dueling Club is probably the best bet, because sharing your research into thaumaturgy is basically the definition of counterproductive, isn't it?
>>
>>27064403
>>Choose one listed club/society to be explained further.
>Duelling Club
>>Ask Illya which club she thinks she'll join.
>>
>Society for Applied Thaumaturgy
>>
>>27063799
>Krav Maga
>not just an overhyped knockoff of Fairbairn Combatives
>>
>>27064403
Applied Thaumaturgy, you say?

break the school's code of conduct without getting in trouble." you say?

tell me more who do i talk to about this?

Tea Appreciation Club sounds relaxing
>>
>>27064403
What has the Thaumaturgy club done to get such disapproval from you?
Also, ask Illya which club she'll join.
>>
>>27064403
>Choose one listed club/society to be explained further.
>Society for Applied Thaumaturgy
I can pretty much guess what's up with the Duelling Club.
>>
>book club

Maybe we can get into shenanigans in the restricted section of the library.
>>
>Book Club
I'm scared the school will end up in flames by the second week.
>>
>Society of applied Thaumaturgy
I'd like to hear more about this Society, what do they actually do in there that breaks the school's code of conduct?

Dueling Club also seems interesting, but considering it doesn't exactly exist, there's little point in trying to join one.
>>
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>>27064603
Why ever would you think that young one?
>>
Man all those fuckers are clearly underestimating the fact that Hufflepuff is CLEARLY the best house.

I mean what's our animal? A goddamn honey badger, that's what. Hufflepuff is the official house of people who don't give a fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEAGxQqC6hI
>>
>>27064403
>applied thaumatergy
>>
>>27064698
Our House Animal is a European Badger, not a Honey Badger.
>>
>>27064698
clearly this means we have to murderize slytherins
>>
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>>27061955
>What can possibly go wrong?
NOTHING WHATSOEVER!
>>
>>27064756
Our House Animal is a Chipmunk.
>>
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>>27064684
I don't know, I just have a feeling.
>>
>>27064768
So first we get the Kirei, then we get the Homu, then we go fucking insane.
>>
>>27064809
and then we attend the clock tower
>>
>>27064756
So? That just means that we're liable to go around wielding a claymore if Redwall has taught me anything.

Also badgers eat snakes, so naturally if a Slytheren tries to bother us, that means we're allowed to eat them.
>>
>>27064775
Is that semen?
I hope it's semen.
>>
>>27064809
Homu may be wandering around campus if we got mumi putzing aabout
>>
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"Jeez," You say, completely ignoring Tonks as she mouths 'don't get him started, don't get him started'. "What's the Thaumaturgy Club -done- to get such disapproval from you? I mean ritual magic - so do they spend their days conjuring demon advisors from the coldest pits of hell, spreading damnation throughout the school and tempting innocent young children into evil?"

"Yeah!" Illya chimes in. "That sounds interesting, actually. I'd love to compare notes with some of the Thaumaturgists - see if it's possible to cross reference their rituals with alchemical formulae. Artificial Daemon spirits would be -interesting- to see in action, to say the least. Especially if one could use Wandlore to circumvent Gotz's First Principle of Equivalent Exchange..."

You, Cedric, and Tonks all turn to stare at Illya for a moment. You know, with all the shenanigans that have been going on in preparation for your arrival at Hogwarts - and, indeed, all the bullshit that has happened since you got here - you sort of forgot how intelligent Illya was. Tonks seems a bit confused by what Illya just said, and Cedric is eying her with what you certainly hope (for his sake) is purely platonic interest.

"Are you sure you were sorted into Hufflepuff?" Tonks asks. "Because I'll be honest, that was the single most Ravenclaw thing I have ever heard, and some of my best friends are in Ravenclaw..."

"Yeah I'm sure." Okay, you can -feel- her turning a bright pink. Why is that? "Hufflepuff is where I need to be, is all."

"So anyways... about the club?" you ask.

"Right, right," Cedric says, shaking his head out. "No, nothing like demon summoning rituals. I'd actually be relieved if that was what they were up to. Well, not relieved, but a different type of concerned." He frowns. "No, you see, the Society of Applied Thaumaturgy is filled with bored, intelligent teenagers who would rather spend their days slacking off, goofing around, and getting high, than fulfilling their potential."

>Field too long
>>
> Applied Thaumaturgy

This sounds interesting.

>>27064416

If you're scared of Ilya now, consider this:
The main reason the Einzberns worked for the creation of the grail war was to find a way for their family to recover the secrets of the Third Magic.

Kiritsugu won the most recent war for the Einzberns, and won it with a wish that made old man Acht happy. I'm not saying Ilya will be the one to reachieve the Third, but... well.

We can't rule it out.
>>
>>27064851
It's breast milk
>>
>>27064947
"They're also extremely hormonal," Tonks says, with a grin. "Now imagine you're an inebriated bored, intelligent teenager, surrounded by other inebriated bored intelligent teenagers of both sexes. And lets say that you decide to concoct a ritual." Her grin widens, just as Cedric's frown deepens. "Well, of course the inebriation is one of them, but 'Preparation and Use of Reagants' is only one of three parts of a Ritual. The other two are 'The Evocation of Power Emotions', usually through symbolic gestures, and 'A Triggering Aria'."

She wraps one arm around Cedric, much to the younger boy's discomfort.

"Now, what sort of Ritual do you think those bored, intelligent, inebriated teenagers would concoct?"

>You lost me.
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
>Clearly one involving inebriation, possibly loud music and dance?
>[OTHER]
>>
>>27064932
If we can Homu, I'm about 300% in favor.
>>
>>27064956
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
"How can Dumbledore just let blood orgies run rampant on campus?"
>>
>oh god
>>
>>27064956
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
>>
>>27062337
>Can time manipulation be combined with alchemy?

I have a bullet with your name on it.

It hit you 35 minutes ago.
>>
>>27064956
>>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
>>
>>27064956
>You los Wait, wrong protagonist.
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's Japanese comics.
>>
>>27064956
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.

We Bible Black now.
>>
>>27064956

> Oh God.

We do not want Ilya anywhere near these people. Probably ever.
>>
Thread's hit the bump limit, hasn't it?
>>
>>27064956
>>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
Nopenopenopenopenope Illya's not joining.
Nor is Harry.
>>27065071
33 posts ago
>>
>>27065071
I'll keep going 'till we're on page 8 or 9.
>>
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>>27065042
>Bible Black
Damn it, I'd repressed those memories.
>>
>>27065071
Bump limit doesn't matter. We're only on page 4. Wait until 9 or 10.
>>
>>27064956
>>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
>>
>>27065106
>>27065090
I have no idea what page we're on. I use the neet.tv catalog.
>>
Rolled 3, 5, 3 = 11

>>27064956
>Oh God. It's just like Mrs. Irisviel's japanese comics.
And rolling for SAN.
>Rolled 6, 6, 6 = 18
>>
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>>27064983
There's only one person who's going to be Homuing.

>>27065106
If you hit Settings, there's an option to make it appear on the thread-page proper now.
>>
>>27065139
>Using neet.tv
>Not using built-in catalog
>Not having 4chan X statistics enabled
>Not even having built-in statistics enabled.
wut?
>>
>>27064956
Geez, Tonks. They're just eleven.
>>
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>>27065172
>>Not using built-in catalog
>using built in catalog
>>
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>>27065172
>using built-in catalog
>using 4chanX instead of any of its functionally superior forks
>>
>>27064932
Don't be silly.
>Kiri-Maiya-Iri threesome
>Kiri has time stop
>Maiya has insane dedication
>Homu has time stop and dedication
>>
>>27065343
I wonder if Maiya is gong to show up during the school year?
>>
>>27065371
>yfw she's the new DADA teacher
>>
>>27064956
>[OTHER]
Hm. If you'll excuse me, I think I have a club to join. (No actual intention to join unless we'll actually be able to get shit done there, I just want to gauge their reactions.)
>>
>>27065395
>I wonder what the new DADA teacher is like?
>"Today, we will be learning how to make pipe bombs and other improvised explosives"
>>
>>27065395
So first years are going to learn how to tell the difference between a FAMAS and a Deagle, and the proper use of tactical cocaine?
>>
>>27065395
>she gives all the students fully automatic weapons with enchanted silver bullets, along with hand grenades and whatever other shit she manages to bring
>>
>>27065432
>proper use of tactical cocaine?
Is it like really expensive Pocket Sand?
>>
I never got why people like Maiya so much. The only things I really remember about her are that she got her ass kicked by Kirei and died pretty easily a bit later.
>>
>>27065432
Please no more Call of Duty references

>>27065447
Either in forcing the enemy into overdose, using it in torture, mini adrenaline shots for long term fighting
>>
>>27065432
dont forget the proper use of various kinds of glocks
>>
>>27065395

I don't believe Maiya can do magic, unfortunately. I imagine she and Kiritsugu will be having their own style of DADA lessons for Ilya and Harry during breaks, though.

"Shoot them" will always be the wrong answer in the official DADA classes, but those two will know better.
>>
>>27065498

That's pretty straightforward though.

Pull the pin, throw carefully, etc etc.
>>
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"I can imagine several things..." you say, your voice far, far away from here. You are thrown deep into the well of your imagination by the possibilities, your mind jumping to the worst possible conclusion.

You see...

You don't want to describe it. It's far, far too lewd. Naked girls, tied up in the center of a magic circle, each and every one of them wearing Illya's face as buxom and curvy as the head girl. Shiverring lightly at the touch of a brush, laden with paints that write the eldritch script upon supple flesh. Moaning at the tickle of a brush laden with potions brewed of -that-, igniting fires of lust within the heart. A Beast from -outside the veil- called by the runes upon the maidens' flesh.

Taking them with His thousand tentacles for this night, to empower them with His seed.

"Yeah," Tonks said. "I used to be a part of that group. Fun times, fun times..."

Cedric looks positively scandalized. And great, now in that far, far away place where your mind has retreated to stare in horror at the ritualized orgies. And now, of course, the various nude forms of the girls moaning in pleasure agony as the ritual is carried out are shape shifting. Switching between a hundred different body shapes and colors until they find the one -just right- for their purposes.

At least their faces aren't Illya's anymore.

"Thanks for that mental image, Tonks," you say, "thanks. I really needed that..."

"Oho~!" she giggles, reaching forward to pinch your cheek. "You -needed- that did you... does the thought of me... -in my nighty-... swinging a feather pillow around drunkly in a circle of other girls... ohohoho~" She turns to Illya. "You should keep an eye on your beau, Illyasviel, or someone might just come and snatch him away~..."

>Field too long
>>
>>27065537
why would you remove the firing pin from a pistol?
>>
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>>27065428
Kerry would love homu in retrospect, heck if she has no family he would adopt her on the spot so they can sit at the dinner table and talk about the finer points of improvised explosives
>>
>>27065550

"But yeah," she said. "Mostly it was a place for bored intellectuals to let their hair down and cut loose a little. -That boy- and I met there, in our third year... Cedric just has a bit of a stick up his butt about how the students of Hogwarts should conduct themselves. Half naked pillow fights and -substances- are unbecoming of the Student Body, he says."

Oh thank god. You...
>Try to supress your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>Ask Cedric what he has against substances. They have tactical uses, you know!
>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
>[OTHER]
>>
>>27065537
>Glock
>Pull the pin, throw carefully, etc etc.

Imm, dont think you two are talking about the same glocks
>>
>>27065528
I think Kiritsugu taught Maiya enough to at least make familiars in cannon, I don't know what else she knows though.
>>
>>27065563
>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
>>
>>27065563
>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>>
>>27065563
>>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>>Ask Cedric what he has against substances. They have tactical uses, you know!
>>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be after killing the last one.
>>
>>27065563
>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.

Quickly! Emergency subject change!
>>
>>27065563
>>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
I, for one, am also curious.
>>
>>27065563
>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
>>
>>27065557
>>27065564

http://www.everydaynodaysoff.com/2009/12/06/exploding-glock-humor/
>>
>>27065563
>>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>>Ask Cedric what he has against substances. They have tactical uses, you know!
>>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
>>
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>>27065564
I know that they come in a bunch of models, but there's only one way to use a Glock.
>>
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>>27065563
>Ask Cedric what he has against substances. They have tactical uses, you know!
>Ask who they think the new DADA teacher will be.
>>
>>27065564
Glock 40 caliber pistols had a bad reputation for blowing the fuck up there for a while.
>>
>>27065563
Get Cedric loading up with cocaine.
>>
>>27065563
>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics, and go into extreme detail of the contents of said comics.

If we've got to be traumatized by it, I don't see why everyone else shouldn't!
>>
>>27065563
>>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>>
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>>27065395
>>27065428

Nerdy Homu would go clutching an envelope with a tiny heart on it and be all "s-s-S-SENSEI! k-k-K-KUDASAI!"

Thus the real plotline would begin.
>>
>>27065563
Openly express our relief, and inquire about the new DADA teacher
>>
>>27065563

>So! who's doing to be teaching DADA
>>
>>27065563
>Openly state your relief at it not being like Mrs. Irisviel's comics.
>>
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For a moment there I was afraid they practiced some sort of demonic blood orgies.
>>
thread kill?
>>
>>27066778
Hmmm, probably. Someone archive and we'll just wait for op. He said he was going to do one everyday this week.
>>
>>27066859
>7 months later
>>
>>27066884
So little faith!
It'll only be 5 months.
>>
>>27066884
>9 months later
>>
>>27066900
>A year and a half later
>>
>>27066884
>>27066900
>>27066905
>Having this much faith

I followed "M"GQ. The fact that this even got continued is a miracle in and of itself.
>>
>>27066916
careful lads, we might start prepin for Ilya fucking if you keep up like dat
>>
>>27066884
>>27066900
>>27066905
>>27066916
>sometime in the next century
>>
>>27066916
>when we touch down on Terra Nova
>>
>>27066969
>After the 37th Beleiver/Hive war
>>
>>27067004
>Three weeks after the release of Half-Life 3
>>
>>27067004
>after 7th intergalactic awr
>>
>>27067019
The day that I got laid
>>
>>27067019

>When he gets back from helping his broseph pick up his now fixed car.

Sorry 'bout that. Posting incoming eventually, might just start a new thread though (Anyone know what page we're on?). Currently expecting a call, which may or may not come, so...
>>
>>27067019
>In the grimdarkness of the far future
>>
>>27067034
8
>>
>>27067034
Page 8.
>>
>>27067034
Page 8 right now.
>>
>>27067041
>The Ship Moves
>>
Well guys, looks like we found our summoning ritual!
>>
>>27067045
Kay, I'll make this next post on this thread, then refresh archive, then new thread.
>>
>>27067062
>The god captai sits on his throne, staring at an ancient data slate displaying a long-forgotten webpage
>>
>>27067062
>The Ship reaches it's Destination
>>
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>>27067080
reminded me dis short comix
>>
hey anon-kun start that summoning ritual !
>>
>>27067345
Nyan nyan.
>>
>>27067364
ONE JOB
>>
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>>27067364
>>
>>27067345
How about we don't.
>>
>>27067387
>>27067364
That's Decu, guys. It won't work here.
>>
>>27067479
What if instead of ending "gorgeous, delicious, deculture" we end with "gorgeous, delicious, NRVNQSR?"
>>
So I just finished watching the Boondock Saints...
I could definitely see how it would help with our Death Eater problem.
>>
>>27067493
Nah, at that point the incantations are just too similar. God only knows what sort of hybrid abominations you would end up summoning.
>>
Rolled 31

>>27067501
Wow, people usually dont go watch things that people tell them they should here. at most they'll just read a synoposis
>>
>>27067501
You know, I know you mean that in the "Become the Saints and shoot them" way, but all I can imagine is siccing DeFoe on Death Eaters and watching the hilarious investigation and bloodshed...
>>
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"Half naked pillow fights?" You say, not even in the least bit intrigued. "Oh thank god. I was half imagining that you were involved in some sort of dark ritual that summoned upon a dark creature from outside the Mind of Gaia, and made an offering of your selves to satiate its unnatural lusts in return for power. Power, if not for yourself than for your children, for your wombs would be forever tainted by the seed of a creature that should not be..."

There is a brief pause for a moment, while the people surrounding you attempt to digest the imagery sprang forth from the depths of you imagination. Tonks bursts out in raucus laughter, apparently finding your nightmare vision to be terribly amusing. Cedric looks at you as though you had just sprung a second head, that immediately began singing vaudeville while doing a half bodied tapdance. Illya looks caught between the green of disgust, and the hopeful pink of curiosity tempered in embarassment.

"Haaaa, Harry, that was a good one," Tonks grins cheekily. "You should go tell it to Mami - it sounds like something straight up her alley. She loves her bodice rippers, that one."

"He..." Cedric says. "He does have a -vivid- imagination, I suppose..."

"Harry, why did that sound fun?" Illya asks, confused. "It shouldn't have sounded fun..."

You are almost tempted to point out that she blackmailed you into giving her your virginity not an hour ago, in exchange for the ability to not have to walk around starkers. She's not normal, that one. You're just glad that she doesn't have the Kaleidostick; you'd hate to hear what she'd think about how the Squid is a "Hard Counter" to Magical Girls.

On second thought, you'll just not tell her that you know the squid. Odds are she knows -exactly- why.

"So, changing the subject off of awkward things," you interrupt before this can go any further, "Who do you think the new Defense teacher will be?"

"Isn't it Quirrel?" Cedric asks.

>Field is too long.
>>
>>27067531
You look at Tonks. Tonks looks at you. You both remain terribly silent, not sure exactly how you should break the news. Fortunately, Illya is more than capable of breaking any and all awkward silences.

"He's dead, Cedric," Illya says. "He attacked the train, nearly killed everyone in my compartment, and did manage to hurt Harry pretty badly. Fortunately, Tonks and Professor Snape were there; between the two of them, they managed to kill him." She pauses for a second. "Oh, and Harry go a stab in too, before he got knocked out."

Well, at least she stuck to the story you told Auror Regulus.

"Wait Quirrel's -dead-?" Cedric spits. "That's... wow... uh..."

>To be fair, he was a bit of an ass.
>He friggin' shot me! I got better, but still.
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>[OTHER]
>>
>>27067524
Well, it was one of those pop culture things that had been nebulously floating in my "should probably watch at some point" list, so I just took this as a trigger to actually do so.

>>27067530
Having an actually competent auror investigating would probably help just as much as hunting them down
>>
>>27067534
Play it nonchalant. He kind of had it coming.
>>
>>27067534
He friggin' shot me! Not that it did anything, but..
>>
>>27067534
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>>
>>27067534
>To be fair, he was a bit of an ass.
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
Knowledge of the Hogwarts Express having soundproofed compartments would be useful in the future, this way we can check.
>>
Rolled 58

>>27067534
>>To be fair, he was a bit of an ass.
>>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>>
>>27067534
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!

I've been wondering why that didn't cause a general panic. It was pretty damn loud.
>>
>>27067534
>>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>>
>>27067534
>>He friggin' Kedoovled me! I got better, but still.
>>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>>
>>27067561
Yeah but they all have windows and are patrolled by prefects and teachers so it would probably not be the best place for fulfilling our end of the contract. Or is that not what you were thinking about?
>>
>>27067534
>He friggin' tried to use the killing curse on me! It didnt work mind but still
>>
>>27067606
gotta love that dirty mind. the first time will probably be around the time of the ball.

but the times after that are still up in the air
>>
>>27067606
Either that or pranks.
>>
>>27067606
Personally, I'm thinking of ways we can exploit that fact for murder.
>>
>>27067622
b-b-but we have a trunk wiv a apartment in it, why cant we make that-dirty-nasty-GOOD thing in there?
>>
>>27067534

> That was loud! Also I got shot.

Not fun times.
>>
I'm gonna go ahead and make a new thread. This one's on page nine, don't want to risk it.
>>
>>27067696
No risk. No danger. No fun.

Also, the trunk-space was NOT listed on the list of pre-approved locations. Think of all the paperwork we'd have to do!
>>
>>27067696
Because that thing probably has shit ventilation and will smell of sex forever.
>>
>>27067534
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
"Oh, the compartments are soundproofed..."
>Promptly cover Illya's mouth.
>>
>>27067751
Alchemy
>>
>>27067696
i never really thought about that. we should carry that thing EVERYWHERE. do you know how useful an instant apartment could be? especialy if the featherweight charm is stackable. would could keep an armory in there and just prepare for battle, or do countless other great things
>>
>>27067751
That's if it doesn't smell like misery, alcohol and cigarettes.
>>
>>27067617
>>27067580

Let's not make it known that we can survive being killing cursed if we can help it.

The more villains that do that instead of trying to shotgun us in our face, the better.
>>
>>27067805
Good point.
>>
>>27067747
>to take place within any one of the following locations: a Bed belonging to either party, a Bed belonging to one of either party's roommates, a Locked Broom Closet, an Unlocked Broom Closet, the Gryffindor Common Room, the Hufflepuff Common Room, the Slytherin Common Room, the Ravenclaw Common Room, any location on the Hogwarts Grounds, any location within the Forbidden Forest, an abandoned hallway, an occupied hallway, the Great Hall, or any other location deemed suitable by both parties.
we can nasty with her where ever we want, when it is suitable for her. Also I wanna turn that apartment into a nasty-land
>>
>>27067805
>implying they would reduce themslevs to filthy muggle weapons
>>
>>27067821

I suppose they could try lighting us on fire with magic or something instead. Or making rocks fall on us. Or.. transforming us into a mouse and feeding us to their cat while performing a monologue?
>>
>>27067821
Well, they might just shoot fireballs at us or something.
>>
>>27067922
WARNING: PAGE 10
DEFCON 0, DEFCON FUCKING 0
>>
>How did you -not- hear him rip apart the back traincar? That was LOUD!
>>
>>27068016

New thread!


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