Deadpool Quest!Rules: http://pastebin.com/1E4Lt9ctSheet: http://pastebin.com/nLy47xqyTwitter: https://twitter.com/PoolboyQMYou are Wade Wilson, and you have been having an eventful day. First, you got some super awesome regenerative powers from a clandestine government agency, which cured your cancer, but made you butt-fucking ugly. Second, said clandestine government agency deemed you a failed project, and dumped you in their reject pile, nicknamed the Deadpool, to be tortured by a sadistic fuck named Francis. Then you proceeded to escape your cell, ride a lumberjack into battle, get a hold of some weapons and a costume, and murderize the fuck out of Francis.Now you stand over Francis' corpse, and realize that the one other person in this facility that needs to pay as much as Francis is the doctor in charge of your operation, Dr.Killbrew. You could go after him, but you also have a chance to get out of the facility relatively unscathed. You could also continue looking for your cellmate Worm, and/or help the lumberjack that you released earlier. Decisions, decisions.>[ ] Go for Killbrew.>[ ] Find Worm.>[ ] Find the lumberjack.>[ ] All/some of the above.>[ ] Write-in
>>27073514>[x] Find Worm.
>>27073514[X] Go for Killbrew.
>>27073514Forgot previous thread link:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=deadpool+quest
>>27073514>[X] Find the Lumberjack.He's useful. Riding him led us to cool stuff. We should hang out more.
[X] Write-inFind alcohol, THEN find the lumberjack.
>>27073710>>27073701>>27073642>[X] Find the Lumberjack.You decide to head back to the armory and find the lumberjack that you left passed out there. Reloading the Makarov you emptied into Francis' brain, you head on out. You find the armory easily enough, and the lumberjack is just waking up, removing the stupid visualboy thingy from his head, his charred scalp rapidly healing and regrowing hair.Hey, he's like you! Or you're like him. One or the other."Ugggh...">[ ] "Morning, sunshine! How was your nappy-poo?">[ ] "Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here.">[ ] "You sure do recover fast. Are we related somehow? Because that would make those fantasies I had while riding you seem totally wrong.">[ ] Write-in
>>27073514[X] Find Lumberjack We can THEN go killbrew.
>>27073885>[ ] "Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here."
>>27073885>>[ ] "Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here."
>>27073885>>[X] "Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here."
>>27073917>>27073942>>27073954>>[X] "Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here.""Hold on to your gitches, bitches, we're busting your hairy lumberjack ass outta here." You say, as the lumberjack rubs his temples like he has a bad migrane."Where am I, bub? Who the hell are you? And come to think of it, who the fuck am I?"You think your lumberjack's lack of memory may be in your favor, seeing as you just rode him across a facility and then beat his Visualboy until he passed out.>[ ] "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack?">[ ] "Spooky Frankenstein lab, Deapool, The amazing Midget-man?">[ ]Write-in
>>27074080>[ ] "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack?">[ ]Still, we'd better get out of here. We can find out when we're not in a place where Alvin and the Chipmunks aren't their inspiration for fashion
>>27074080>[x] "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack?"Pretty sure I'm the only one voting for sensible options.
>>27074080>>[X] "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack?"
>>27074080"Canada Man obviously."
>>27074128>>27074135>>27074167>[ ] "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack?" "Weapon X, Wade Wilson, a lumberjack? Still, we'd better get out of here. We can find out when we're not in a place where Alvin and the Chipmunks aren't their inspiration for fashion."The lumberjack steals some cargo pants from one of the dead guards, and sniffs the air."People are coming. Are we getting out of here now? Or is there shit we need to do here first, bub?"You look down the hallways outside the armory. Psssshaw. You don't see any people.>[ ] Get the fuck outta dodge.>[ ] Killbrew first, ask questions later.>[ ] Find Worm.>[ ] Write-in
>>27074281>[x] Find Worm.
>>27074281If we stay any longer well get blood on our suit and that shit will NEVER get outlets bounce
>>27074281Find Worm, maybe we'll find Killbrew on the way
>>27074281[X] Find Worm
>>27074311>>27074375>>27074389>[X] Find Worm"Chill your jets, Mr.Lumberjack. We really need a new name for you. I have a cellmate who we need to bust out, and then we can bounce. So keep up!"You run down the hallway, and check around the corner before aiming you pistols down the hallway to the right, with the lumberjack watching your six. A smoke grenade rolls down the hallway from around the corner of one of the many doors in the hallway, and the lumberjack snarls."Twelve of 'em bub. 4 on the room to the left, 8 in the room on the right. Rush 'em?">[ ] Take the 4, leaving the 8 to lumberjack.>[ ] Take the 8, the lumberjack can take the 4.>[ ] Take them all together.>[ ] Write-in
Take them all together
>>27074602>[x] Take them all together.We've got no coordination and deadly skills, this cannot go badly. Also group pose before the battle starts for luck.
>>27074602Take them all together!
>>27074602>[ ] Take them all together.>A smoke grenade rolls down the hallway"Psshhh! That's not how you use a grenade!"Toss any other grenades left in our arsenal. I hope we still have some left.
>>27074701>>27074737>>27074771Check our sheet, 1 Grenade left. Select your weapon/weapons, then give me a combat roll, 1d20+5, DC 15
Rolled 13 + 5>>27074866Twin makarovs, no grenades, just pure awesome.also nat 1 inc
Rolled 3 + 5>>27074866I'll roll, but I'm not very good at the tactical
Rolled 3 + 5>>27074923nor rolling apparentlydiscount this roll, I'm just looking
Rolled 4 + 5>>27074937oh well now I have to know how deep the rabbit hole goes
>>27074923>>27074937u wot m8
Rolled 7 + 5>>27074951still don't count this, I'm just trying to break the streak of shit
>>27075007At least you haven't rolled a 1 yet.
>>27074920You and the lumberjack jump into one of the rooms, and you quickly dispatch 3 with clean headshots, while the lumberjack's claws first shred the remaining 5 guard's guns, then their torsos. You roll into the next room, tripping one of the guards, shooting him in the chest on the way down, then from the ground, firing two shots into another guard. Waste of ammo.Lumberjack takes the last two, and has a huge fucking grin on his face. He enjoys this. Maybe more than you do.You continue the search for Worm, eventually finding him in a janitor's closet. "Wade? Is that you?" he says.>[ ] "Come now, Smeagol, we still have a ring to destroy.">[ ] "Stay with the lumberjack, Worm, I have some business to attend to with my physician.">[ ] "We're out of here, Worm. You gonna join our merry band of misfits?">[ ] Write-in.
>>27075174>[ ] "Come now, Smeagol, we still have a ring to destroy."Let's bounce.
>>27075174did we loot the guns and ammo from the scrubs?
>>27075174>[x] "We're out of here, Worm. You gonna join our merry band of misfits?"
>>27075174>"Stay with the lumberjack, Worm, I have some business to attend to with my physician."
>>27075213All in favor of doing this?
>>27075174>>[ ] "Stay with the lumberjack, Worm, I have some business to attend to with my physician."
>>27075283Yeah, "borrow" their stuff. We'll give it back when they're not dead.
>>27075283Aye! Loot those scallywags!
>>27075208>>27075221>>27075270>>27075287Need a tiebreaker.
>>270753443 heads cause more anarchy that one
>>27075174>[X] "Come now, Smeagol, we still have a ring to destroy."
>>27075270>>27075287>>27075394You check the ammo you looted from the thugs. You snatched another grenade, as well as 4 more clips for you Makarovs. Also some dog tags, which you toss to the lumberjack."Got these for you."He looks at them. "Logan?" He shrugs, putting the dog tags over his neck. "I guess a name's a name, bub. It'll do for now.">"Stay with the lumberjack, Worm, I have some business to attend to with my physician."Worm nods, and you run off, trying to find Dr.Killbrew. When you get back to the lab where he ruined your face, you see him running through a security door and then closing it behind him. His voice can then be heard over the P.A. system. "Mr. Wilson, there is no need to overreact. We can fix this, make you better. You just need to commit to the program. We can make Weapon X a very...profitable venture for you. All you need to do is give yourself and the Weapon you have stolen up to the program.">[ ] "FUCK YOU! YOU GONNA DIE, BITCH!">[ ] "Lucrative, you say? How lucrative are we talkin'?">[ ] Write-in
>>27075625Write in"I have a counter offer, it too is very profitable, in lead"
>>27075625>[ ] "Lucrative, you say? How lucrative are we talkin'?"after any amount of money offer a hug and tell him he is the best pimp ever, when he goes for it kill him
>>27075625"Hate to bust it to ya, but I really HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE FUCK WITH MY FACE. ITS MY FACE!!!"All while grabbing him by the collar and throttling him.
>>27075693You know this is over a P.A. System, right?
>>27075693It's a P.A. system dude. Please reading comprehend.>>27075625I'm with >>27075681Except if he offers enough, we should take it. If there's one thing Deadpool likes... It's money.. And money affords enough C4 to mold the most comfortable armchair out of.
>>27075803We cannot betray our noble steed
>>27075625>[X] "Lucrative, you say? How lucrative are we talkin'?"
>>27075651I like this but also...>[ ]I might have considered it somewhat before you made me deal with Mr Clean's biggest fan.
>>27075681>>27075803>>27075850>[X] "Lucrative, you say? How lucrative are we talkin'?""Lucrative, you say? How lucrative are we talkin'?" you ask, suddenly thinking of what you could do with that money. Like buy explosives. Dr.Killbrew clears his throat over the P.A., then gives a pause for a moment, considering his offer."I would say for handing over the Weapon, we could spare a million from our budget. And if you decided to stay with the program, we would send you on missions relevant to our interests, and provide you with a stipend for each completed mission. How would that sound?"That's a decent amount of dough. Seriously.>[ ] "Deal.">[ ] "No, deal, motherfucker. Prepare to die.">[ ] Write-in
>>27076017>[x] "No, deal, motherfucker. Prepare to die."Fucking chump change. No dice.
>>27076017Nah fuck youwalk outno matter what we do hes going to make it impossible for us to kill him like hide in that little PA room or behind a wall of indestructanium
>>27076017First I'll kill you, then I'll take all the booty for myself! Arrrg!
>>27076017[X] DealWe could buy a LOT of explosives with that amount of money. We could help Worm get away at the very least.
>>27076017No dealprepare to die
>>27076017[X] No deal.But don't tell him that! Make it seems like we are playing along and at the last moment? We strike when he is out in the open.
>>27076194>>27076041>>27075893>>27075681Fellowship roll to Bluff that you want to deal. 1d20+4 vs DC16
Rolled 7>>27075893I like this, go for this
Rolled 7 + 4>>27076264
Rolled 20 + 4>>27076264
>>27076379Bow before me
Rolled 8 + 4>>27076264Arrrg, that's a lot of booty!
>>27076379>>27076394well I think we won
>>27076415What do we win?a blowjob?!SCORE!!
>>27076344>>27076379>>27076394>20x2"Hey man, I like money. You got yourself a deal."Dr. Killbrew opens the door, coming out with outstretched arms. "Wonderful, Mr.Wilson. I have a feeling our partnership will be extremely lucrative for you, for the program, and for the world.""For sure, Doc. Best pimp ever. I guess you want me to hand over the Weapon now?"The doc nods, and you quickly draw your Makarov. "I might have considered it somewhat before you made me deal with Mr Clean's biggest fan."BLAM. The doc falls backwards, a giant hole in his brainskull. I guess that's that. Loose ends, consider yourself tied up.>[ ] Go back to Worm and Logan.>[ ] Try and find some transportation.>[ ] Check out the Doc's panic room.>[ ] Write-in
>>27076630[X] Check out the Doc's panic room.REMEMBER.ALWAYS.PICK THE MYSTERY OPTION.
>>27076630>[ ] Check out the Doc's panic room.Loot and scoot.captcha: condensed greedsco
Rolled 4>>27076630 >Try and find some transportation.>[ ] Check out the Doc's panic room.
>>27076630Find worm and logan
>>27076630Well that cleans up a lot of plot points in the future>go back to logan and smeagol
>>27076630[X] Write-in"BOOM, motherfuckers!"[X] Check out the Doc's panic room.
>>27076657>>27076662>>27076666You decide to check out the Doc's panic room. As you enter, you find another Flush or Release tank, with a jacked Albino with implanted cables floating around in the goo.The first Flush or Release tank got you a nifty new friend. Maybe this one will too.>[ ] Flush>[ ] Release>[ ] Leave>[ ] Write-in
>>27076789Write intap on the glash "Hey fishy fishy fishy"
>>27076811Then make fish noises as we flush him."Glub glub glub."
>>27076811>>27076824This. The next experiment we come across might not be as friendly as Lumberjack, and our only power is healing, NOT superstrength or battle claws.
>>27076824We'll buy a red fish and name it Tankdude in his memory.
Rolled 19 + 4>>27076811Tap on the glass. But don't flush yet!
>>27076789>[ ] ReleaseWhat could go wrong?
>>27076789Tap on that glass. Wave.Breath on it and draw a smiley face.
>>27076811>>27076824>>27076861You tap on the glass."Heeeeyyy fishy, fishy, fishy..."You giggle as your hand hovers over the flush button. You're not taking the same chance with this albino as you did with Logan, never trust albinos."Glub, glub, glub."BOOP. The bottom of the tube opens, and the liquid and the experiment get flushed to the outside of the facility. You figure it's about time to get out of here. But you were airlifted here before your surgery, so you know they have helicopters stored on helipads on the facility's roof.Time for a daring escape.>[ ]Get Logan and Worm first>[ ] Find your transportation first.
>>27076940Actually, yeah. No matter how bad we get hurt, we'll just regen at some point. Let's experiment.
>>27076986>[x]Get Logan and Worm firstThey'd get lost without us.
>>27076986get logan and worm
>>27076986>>[ ]Get Logan and Worm first
>>27077002>>27077005You run up to where you left Worm and Logan, and they're right where you left them."Okay, checkup's over. Let's bounce. Stay close."You lead Logan and Worm to the roof, where Logan dispatches a few guards silently. There are 2 Helicopters left on the helipads, and you all climb into one.Wait, can we fly a helicopter?1d20+0 Intelligence check, DC 17, to find out.
Rolled 15>>27077095AHAHAHAHAHH HERE WE GO
Rolled 12>>27077095Of course not, but why should that stop us?ooh, what does this big red button do?
Rolled 10>>27077095Eh, we can wing it.
>>27077120use a double penetration point please
>>27077120>>27077121>>27077125"AHAHA OFCOURSEWECANFLYTHISWHYWOULDYOUEVERDOUBTUS?"Worm and Logan look at you with confusion as you are overwhelmed by the controls on the helicopter. Roll 1d20 to mash buttons until it starts.
>>27077137Or if people want to do this, That would make this easier.
Rolled 7>>27077166nat 1 inc, the helicopter explodes and then the whole base explodes. I CAN FEEL IT
Rolled 8>>27077166thank god for the healing factor and a spar copter
>>27077181I dunno, that doesn't sound very Deadpool. Hey, worm has healing factor too? No? Ah well, two out of three ain't bad.
>>27077220I don't think he does.Canonically, Worm gets lobotomized in the Weapon X facility and DP mercy kills him. We may be fighting a losing battle.
>>27077190The Helicopter whirs to life. Cool, and also totally part of your plan."Hold on back there, boys, this might get bumpy."You get the thing airborne, and it's shaky, but you haven't crashed yet. That's a good sign. You activate the GPS to try and figure out where the fuck you are. You could head back to your old apartment, go check out Sister Margaret's, your old merc hangout, and see what's up with your old buddy Weasel.>[ ]So, Where to?
>>27077322>[x]Your old apartmentClearly this is the place to land a helicopter with our thousands of hours experience.
>>270773221. FLY TO APARTMENT2. ORDER PIZZA3. EAT PIZZACAPTCHA: stomachich uellowsOur stomach bellows for fooooooood.
>>27077322Let's go to our Merc crib and pick up see what we can do about getting new threads.
>>27077322>Old merc hangoutWe're going to have a delightful welcome home part-tay for ourselves.
>>27077322tell the other two the options
>>27075174>Tfw you realize the lumberjack is Wolverine
>>27077391Missed the first thread, huh?
>>27077353>>27077366>>27077370>>27077378Two for the old Apartment, 2 for Sister Margaret's. Tiebreak?
Rolled 5>>27077466Odds: MaggyEvens: Apartment.
Rolled 18>>27077466Sister Margrets.We don't want them looting our stuff and we need to loot Sister's Marget stuff
>>27077466Apartmentsorry I'm late Hollowquest happened
[X] fly to /k/ and steal sone weapons
Rolled 18>>27077530We'd just get moist nuggets and hunting knives. Maybe a few flechette bombs and fertilizer explosives.
>>27077528I did both at the same time
>>27077546 Or we get one of theseand drive it to our crib
>>27077583I also forgot
>>27077484>>27077486"We're headed to an old haunt of mine, boys. Once we're there, you guys can stick with me, or you can bail out. Whatever you guys feel is best."You pilot the helicopter to Sister Margaret's with only a few near crashes, having to make a few stops at some Petro-Canada's for gas before crossing the border into the US-of-A.You reach the refurbished Catholic private school, and get everyone out from the helicopter. You've probably mastered improv-flying this thing.You swing open the doors to Sister Margaret's, and are greeted to the old smells of sweat, blood, and cigarette smoke. Patch, the bartender and owner, gives you a weird look before you sit down and ask for a Mojito, on your tab."Wade?" He says.>[ ] "Sup, Patch? You've seen Weasel around?">[ ] "Yup. Got any jobs for me, Patch?">[ ] "Got a couple strays here. Any idea a place I can keep em'?">[ ] Write-in
>>27077625>[x] "Sup, Patch? You've seen Weasel around?"
Rolled 4>>27077625>>[ ] "Yup. Got any jobs for me, Patch?"
>>27077625>[x] "Sup, Patch? You've seen Weasel around?"I dunno who this guy is, but he sounds like he'd be fun to die with.
Rolled 15>>27077625[X] "Yup. Got any jobs for me, Patch?"
>>27077642>>27077668>>27077685>>27077695"Sup Patch? You've seen Weasel around?" You ask the mustachioed bartender.A voice from behind you screams like a fangirl with an adam's apple."WAAAAAAAAAAAADE!"Weasel, a mousy little guy with greasy brown hair and round, Harry Potter-esque spectacles, hugs you in what would be a bear hug, were he not so pitifully scrawny. "Thought you were dead, man!! What happened?">[ ] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers.">[ ] "We can cover that later. I need your help with a few things.">[ ] "Government spook stuff, nothing big.">[ ] Write-in
>>27077849>[x] "Got cured. Sort of. Ish. Also, Superpowers. It's a long story."
Rolled 6>>27077849>>[X] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers."
>>27077849>[ ] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers."
Rolled 14>>27077849[X] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers."WHAT.COULD.GO.WRONG?
>>27077849Wanna see my helecopter?
>>27077849>[x] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers."Canadian Healthcare man!
>>27077874>>27077907>>[X] "Got cured. Also, Superpowers.""Got cured. Sort of. Ish. Also, Superpowers. It's a long story."Weasel looks dumbfounded, then gives you a cell phone. "I know that you usually don't think about spending money on one, but you need a way to get in contact with me. We need to talk about a lot of things, but here is not the best place."A huge figure makes his way to the bar, shoving you out of the way."Step aside, Wilson."The figure is pale, with bright red hair, and a big bandage across his nose."Well hello to you too, T-Ray." You say back under your breath.(Ending it here, will pick it back up sometime in the forseeable future.)
>>27078093>picfucking pym particles
I hope.we get those swords soo- what are DPs. swords made of, and is it better than what they canonically prepped Wolverine with?
>>27081867As far as I know, DP normally only uses conventional swords and firearms, plus a teleporter. Our only power is a regen they basically got from Wolverine through science.Unless you're talking about those arm swords from the movie, in which case you should probably go.