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So I saw some Space Station 13 threads awhile back, and was wanting to ask a few questions about it. Any answers would be helpful, so thank you.

1: Is the game good from an RP perspective?
2: Are any of the servers/stations free, or do they all require you to have donated to the site?
3: What is the gameplay like?
4: Do you find that most people who play the game play it "correctly" (correctly being that they actually try to do more than be murder-hobos in space) or are they mostly murder-hobos?
5: Do any of you have some good tips for a beginner? I'm at least going to try it a few times to see if I like it, and during those few times I'd like to know what I'm doing.

6: Got any funny stories?
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Back in the day on goonservers, when disease research was still a thing and before they made all the computers function like unix, back when it was Donut Station, I got a little zealous with bomb making, back when the max blast radius was still larger than 14 or so squares. I managed to produce something like 11 or so bombs, and while not a traitor, I wanted to make sure that I took the traitors out, getting more and more paranoid as I fervishly put together the devices. I had stored bombs in every single mail chute around the station, hiding them in backpacks looted from the crew quarters. I had intended to provoke the traitor into sending the signal to detonate the bombs to make it easier to spot and capture the traitor, as they'd be fiddling around with a PDA or signal transmitter, but my paranoia at this point was too great. As the escape shuttle pulled into the escape arm, I freaked the fuck out when a guy came at me with a toy sword, convinced I had found the traitor I triggered the explosion.

I instantly gibbed and the game hung for about 5 minutes as it calculated all the bombs going off, killing over 90% of the people on the station, people are flipping their shit in OOC chat, no one escaped on the shuttle, and as a ghost, I saw my destruction, there was less than 5% of the station usable and air was rapidly leaking out, everyone in the escape arm was dead, the few people alive were struggling to not be sucked into space, there was almost nothing left of donut station.

I got banned for a week and they tweaked the everloving fuck out of bomb making so such a tragedy could never occur again, making it so bombs cook slower and you can't make as many, and capping their blast radius.
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From an RP perspective, the game can be good, though most players favor when complete chaos breaks out, like kudzu or a blob or a zombie outbreak or something that makes the traitor's job that much harder like a randomly appointed wizard during a nuke round.

All of the servers/stations are free, but goonserver have a special chat for those who have signed up for something awful forums, but have special disdain for those who get an SA account JUST for SS13.

The gameplay is clusterfucky as fuck. It's barely intuitive as there's a lot of contradictory things everywhere, such as eating food involves clicking on yourself but if you do that with a banana, you jam it in your eye and can go blind, you have to peel it first in your hand by clicking on it in your hand, then click it again to eat it.
Most people do play it sorta correctly, though once chaos breaks out or traitors make themselves super well-known, usually all bets are off.
You got banned for that? Seems like a good bit of fun. I don't like games where people ban for every little thing.
I got banned because the lag was so bad the round wouldn't reset and it required like 6 mods to figure out what the fuck actually happened that the game broke. Also for killing EVERYONE while not being a traitor.
1. Depends on the server, they range from Kittenshack's griff filled Aliens vs Humans all day to /tg/station's meta as hard as you can just don't let anyone find out to baystation's autistic if you don't roleplay the way we tell you to we'll permaban you, fucknugget.
2. I have never seen a server you have to donate to play on and that sounds like a shitty server if you have to
3. Gameplay is 2D no stops on the lagtrain find how many ways to kill yourself while trying to do your job simulator, which is surprisingly fun
4. I only play on /tg/station and everyone who isn't a blatant newfriend that wants to toolbox people's face plays completely normally, not overly roleplay-wise, but at least doing their job until they get an idea, or shit hits the fan and they either turn into Vietnam War Veterans who will stick a piece of glass on a metal rod and stab you to death with it should the situation call for it, or try to do it anyway and get their shit kicked.
5. Play Assistant first, learn how to do a small amount of things, then try cargo tech, learn how to do more stuff. Then evolve from there. I recommend reading the FUCK out of the server's respective wikis and watching a bit of a Let's Play to understand how it is to be an average play.
6. One time the funmins decided that the round, it being several hours in and boring as fuck, and needed a reason to get the shuttle called, decided to make four ghosts into a Slimesquad (A deathsquad (Agents sent to usually blow the fuck up out of the station), but with slimes). As one of them, our mission was to assimilate everyone into the greater biomass, IE: Absorb everyone to death and get enough shit hitting the fan for the station to call the shuttle. Fifteen minutes later ended in the entire station, sans maybe five people out of the thirty onboard, eaten by slimes. We also claimed the emergency shuttle for the Slimuloth due to our splitting into more slimes completely covering everything. It was glorious.
cuban pete pls go
Just a week for destroying the entire station?

I got permabanned from /tg/ station for gibbing a changeling with a bomb specifically designed to obliterate a single tile with zero collateral damage. Literally a bomb with a 1x1 blast area.

Apparently the "changeling" wasn't a changeling and was just some guy (probably a badmin or badmin's friend) choking people to death in the hallways and using an "extends his probiscus" custom emote. Still bullshit though
Multiplayer games with mods are shit.
Well, this was Goonstation first off, second off, I was pretty apologetic for making the game unwinnable for the good guys or the traitors.
I read through a couple threads a long time ago and decided to give it a try. The very first round I played I got knocked unconscious by this guy. He dragged me into this room, secured me to a chair, and proceeded to take all my items and torture me until he finally went away. He sealed the room and vented the atmosphere until I suffocated.

I never played again.
That's all? Wow, you must be a lot of fun at parties.
I was a traitor.
I had an assassination mission.
I caught my target committing a crime, stunned him, and hauled him off towards sec- then took a left turn into a nearby airlock, where I took his radio, ID, and hardsuit, and threw him out the airlock stunned. Target down, mission successful. Nobody suspects a thing. I get back to my station duties...

And then as I pass Command, someone familiar appears in front of me...


It's the guy I threw out the airlock. With a fire axe.


Long story short, Sec brigged me for the rest of the round.

It turns out he grabbed onto one of the solar arrays. Using his emergency oxygen, he hauled himself back to the station before cold could kill him.

> And that's why you check for emergency air when you space people.
I played three classes: HoP, Quartermaster, or Security. I think Security was where I best roleplayed, Quartermmaster was a thief, and everyone hated when Sam Shephard was the HoP "psst!, Clown, trade you all access for your crayons"
crayons were ballin'
I miss this game now, especially since I don't have a laptop anymore.
Hey, is there any server that still uses the old South Park-style graphics, or are all of them using the new, faggy ones?
Sounds like BOOMER
That faggot used to abuse the fuck out of security
I used to play on Bay because I liked some of their code.

Long story short, I left because the admins were pricks who looked out for their friends and the only way to do anything but "Your Job forever and ever" was to suck admin cock as hard as you could.

So I went to /tg/.

So then I went to /vg/.
A bay veteran who left here, the good times ended long ago. It was swarmed by the furries and ERPers, the actual Bay 12 community drowned out. On that note, I actually found one of the regular xeno players on F-list as their SS-13 special snowflake.
Shit ban. Act like antag, get treated like one. Appeal that shit.
I was playing Shaft Miner, and I'd had several consecutive shifts with the same person, which was pretty awesome. We trusted each other to have the others back, that kind of shit.

Then he asks me to come into the Dorms after I've finished delivering the latest load of materials. When I get there, he's removed all the inbetween walls, leaving a large 2x8 rectangle. He's also bolted all but one of the doors, and is standing at the far end.

When I come in, he bolts the door down that I came in through and throws a parapen and an e-sword at me, telling me he was traitor and I was his target, but he didn't want to kill me because we were such good friends.

I picked up the weapons, put the e-sword in my backpack, and approached him. I said 'Thanks for not killing me and such, man. Really good of you.' or something along those lines, and then 'You made a mistake, though. Loyalty to Nanotrasen and such.'

I parapenned him, choked him to death and threw his naked body into space, then continued to do my job as Shaft Miner.
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Sphessmens is so unforgiving, even when you have the chance to forgive.
I keep hearing about Cuban Pete, but always in passing. I've never heard of any of the original stories.

Who was he?
I am new to SS13

Any pro-tips?
He was the king of the Rhumba Beat.

He shook his maracas, they went Chic-Chikky-Boom, Chic-Chikky-Boom!
You're probably going to die. Or fuck up your job.

This is okay.
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The QM has the wisdom of a falcon.

If you play the clown and the station hasn't been drowned in HONK! You are doing it wrong.

Pic related, typical shift.

Imagine the biggest, nastiest bomb you've ever seen.

Times three, produced in the span of three minutes, and carried by someone who knew what he was doing.
I was murdered for not owning a TV when the chapels faith was that of Cable TV

Granted it was a changeling who said "no tv, no life" but it was amusing none the less

SS13 plays better when you forget everything negative that happens between rounds.

If you made bros with someone, that's cool.

If someone murdered you brutally and destroyed the corpse for no apparent reason, then you shouldn't remember it next round.
Even though I am new I am trying to play like that. Memory of a goldfish: the round I am in is the only round that has ever happened.
I started on /tg/station a long while back.
I started an assistant. You know, try to figure out what was going to go on.
I arrived to chaos. Controlled chaos, but still chaos.
Wandering past the Medbay, trying to avoid offending anyone, I had a doctor just about grab me and drag me into the Medbay.
Turns out he was a philanthropist. Made me an a Doctor In Training. Got me kitted out, taught me the basics of first aid and told me to stay put in Medbay and make myself useful. Said I'd live longer that way.

And I did.

I made it all the way to the shuttle when shit hit the fan.
It was all up from there. Getting a real Doctor's Badge. Learning the basics of being robust, to deal with the occasional troublemaker, how to tranquilize people with the syringe gun and sleep toxin, the various necessary treatments for stranger wounds. All of it.
And when to book it or defend the fort.

I made it through revolutions, aliens, even the great Honk Plague. All thanks to this one doctor. Can't even remember his name, it's been so long since I drifted away. But I remember that one day, getting a crash course in life saving.
>Sleep Toxin
>Not a rapid-firing syringe gun with four 15 unit doses of chloral.

It's like you didn't even WANT to kill them.
I preferred to get up close and personal with my crowbar, and the sleep toxin usually disoriented whoever I dosed with it.
Making food in Hydro Bay, people ask for various stuff and I supply. All-around a good guy, even letting my co-worker whom I had played with for a few rounds make illegal nettles and whatnot.
On our third or four round of the same "Guards rape everyone" bullshit, we decided to stock up on tomatoes. Lots and lots of tomatoes.
We painted the halls red, drugged down the janitor who was trying to clean up the mess. (He ended up being arrested for "sleeping on the job", but that's a different story) When I was finally arrested, my coworker blackmailed security with giving the clown access to hydro bay. Such a simple threat was enough to let me loose. Oddly enough, the highlight of the round was when everyone started discussing if tomatoes are a fruit, berry or a vegetable.
A dosage of Chloral will put someone down a lot faster than sleep toxin will, and if you actually dosed someone with 60 units of Chloral they'd die. Very quickly.
I'll keep that in mind.
I played a Shaft Miner last week.
Rather than peeling off and looking for lost treasure on the asteroid-usually xenos-I decided to follow the only other Shaft Miner around and help him dig out more of the asteroid and collect ores, all while cracking various 'shaft' jokes of an immoral nature.

Long story short, my erstwhile companion put up with it somewhat awkwardly until we took the shuttle back to the station, at which point Sec was messaged via PDA and I was informed that I'd have a lawyer present to defend me in a sexual harrassment suit. The trial was a blast, with me cracking more 'shaft' jokes and getting a decently weighted sentence. We laughed out asses off about it OOC after the round ended.
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>Fruit or a berry
Oh wow, that's awesome.

I've never seen the legal system in action. Whenever I end up as Lawyer there's either no real crime going on, or it's something like the wizard that is more of a kill on sight situation, anyway.
I usually get a camera and turn into a Journalist or something.
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>Be in research
>Patrick Bateman and Michael Myers walk in

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Trials usually end up with a bombing or everyone screaming like faglords and trying to free the one on trial.
Corrolary: No matter how forgiving you are of Security, Medlab, etc between rounds, know that each new character you make on each new round has an instinctual fear of Honk Honk
>Squeaking footsteps and illumination of maintenance tiles outside your work area.
>fear incarnate
Always remember; stun, strip, let er rip.

If they've got shoes and air, they can get back to the station. if they're stripped bare, they can't do anything to get back.

At least, that was before space was made more deadly.
A game I was once in had a decent trial, we found that the RD was going crazy breaking into things and hitting people, I was playing detective and had built up substantial evidence including photos, foresnsic evidence, interrogation tapes, the works. We managed to get most of the station into the courtroom with lawyer for the RD, captain as judge and CEng as prosecutor (we would have had HoS but he was a witness). We got through most of the trial pretty quick given the overwhelming and the captain was going to give a sentence of life in the penitentiary when the RD suddenly exploded. Which was pretty bizzare but we then had to rush off anyway because someone found that the RD and Xenologist were part of some crazy alien cult and had been growing an alien hive out of xenology.
In KoDT, the one that B.A. repeatedly pulls on his party is "I am an innocent traveller with a magic item... put everything you own in this bag... and get profits!"

The variations on the scam always involve a teleporting gnome who fucks the party over through robbing them blind or stranding them beaten and broken in a bad situation *and* robbed blind.

Last time it was a portal to the obsidian maze-tomb of a undead blind mad god, who had *loads* of treasure. The only way in was to take the magic portal. the only way out was to say something really embarrassing like "mommy mommy I wet 'em!". The GM was recording this, naturally, for bragging rights at the local GM meet.
Of course, mad god does permanent, irreversible HP damage, and the party put all the loot in the bag... gnome takes bag and teleports away.
u wot m8
I think my most memorable story is one of the earlier ones; where most of the station was dead, the command chain was shot to hell, the round had been going for two hours.

This was way back when the AI was right next to vacuum; and someone had stolen an EVA suit and was trying to break in. Not well equipped, doing so just with toolbelt alone. Myself, a lone engineer went out to face them, with only stungloves (RIP)

We fought in silence outside the AI core, as the AI begged us not to harm each other. Jousting for position, both of us equipped soley with fire extinguishers - he with a baton, myself with my own gloves.

And the guy caught me, dead to rights - smacked me right about the face, laying me out - the fire extinguisher spinning in space besides me.

I should have died there.

He tried to strip me down. Tried to rip off the mask, rip away the oxygen cylinder. -The space wind saved me, blowing me back out of reach. He tried again, moving closer against the grille yet only for the wind to blow once more.

-And the third time, there was just enough feeling in my arms for the stun to wear off and for met to tag him with it. He went down, paralysed in space for just that few moment. And out came the fire extinguisher, and slammed into his head, smashing into his visor over and over, bouncing it back and forth against the broken grille surrounding the AI.

Until he gasped and gurgled for air, until I peeled him out of that spacesuit, swore at him, hands bloodied - and tossed his cooling corpse into space.

Only then was the shuttle called, and only then did the we all escape, finally.

The AI thanked me, just before we arrived at nanotrasen. It had been the traitor all along, and had its target killed off earlier in the round - which was why the other came for it. I'd saved a traitor AI.

And it was beautiful.
>who was cuban pete?

Cuban Pete was the hero the station deserved, not the hero the station needed. When he joined the station you had proximately 3 minutes to smash his face in with the nearest toolbox before the station blew to hell and back from massed bombing.

And that was before they capped the bomb deadlyness so each of his bombs would remove about half the bloody station, and it wasn't just one bomb you had to find and disarm. No, it was three, or four, or even five at one time. No one knew how he managed to create such deadly bombs in so short a time. But one thing was for certain: when you heard this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJej6kCgxVM over the radio you knew that shit was about to go down hard.
Cuban Pete, first griefer, then security chief, and scientist. He took to the game with studious ability, originally doing roundwide massacres of all on board, before the admins sat him down and told him to shape up or get out.

And he did. Stopped griefing, started learning jobs, roleplayed a grizzled HoS. He was a real fun guy, funny, too, if you forgave him for beating your head in.

And then he discovered science, and excelled in bombmaking. So much that the bombs had to have a max range cap on them.

He has gone, now, but the legend perseveres.
Could be worse. One of the first times I played I got beaten to death, cloned, locked in a hastily made cell in the bar with a a taser pack strapped to my back, and forced to play the violin and get zapped for everyone's amusement
Clowns should always be valid if they're not in hallways. Just to add to the 'Fuck your shit' of being a Clown.
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some one give me a download like for this.

shit sound FASCINATING.
I remember a doctor bro somehow changing gender. We went on a quest to try and find someone to help. I think the fat that i was a drunken barkeep with a shotgun didn't help win us friends.
That's the magic of a scalpel and a surgeon.
It's on Byond.
We couldn't find one eventually a rather shady miner tried to help. After the less than stellar result Doc-Bro had to be borged. A few minutes later the station was fucked because the cultists summoned some big bad guy and i never saw my friend again.
Don't know which one to join
Go the /vg/ and check out the SS13 general. They have a list of servers, including /tg/ servers.
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this is how i med:

weld yourself in the security office with an owl mask and shotgun, then calmy explain yourself to anyone who comes past.
but should anyone enter the room....
oooooo better hope I'm not antagonist!
you're not a nice person, are you?
See ss13.net for wiki and info and two servers. I've been going there for a while now. Still very un-robust, though.
SS13 Servers here:




Come on an plaaaay
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Playing Research Director for the first time: "someone wants to be turned into an AI" oh shit. i hope my underlings know how to make an AI core. its ok they do... Try to act like i know what i'm doing... co-coordinating with medbay to get the Lobotomy performed. Gotta get all the paperwork stamped by the heads of staff and the captain... Running around.. AI ended up being wiped by some crazy undercover Detective.. then i had to turn one of my engineers into a Borg... looking at the scalpel and circular saw... "so i cut off your head and remove your brain?"
"do we need anesthetic?"
engineer: "nope don't worry about it"
Borgify him... after botching the first few incisions and saw cuts... Whoops!
>Is the game good from an RP perspective?
If you find an RP server with similar-minded people, RP can be really great. Really, really great...
>Are any of the servers/stations free, or do they all require you to have donated to the site?
Most servers that I'm aware of are free to join, while they do accept donations, it's by no means necessary to enjoy the game.
>What is the gameplay like?
Confusing as fuck at first, not very user friendly. Once you learn the control scheme, though, there's a deep ocean of possibilities hiding underneath. You can build, destroy, kill, revive, heal the sick or make everyone crazy. You can be a god amongst gods. With some clever thinking, practically anything is possible.
>Do you find that most people who play the game play it "correctly" (correctly being that they actually try to do more than be murder-hobos in space) or are they mostly murder-hobos?
At this point, it really depends which server you're on. For example, on the US Goon servers (Something Awful's servers I think) RP is barely a thing now and gameplay quickly devolves into a murderfest; WHICH CAN BE FUN IF YOU'RE INTO THAT!
>Do any of you have some good tips for a beginner?
Read the server recommended wiki starter guide. Start as assistant, declare LOUDLY in OOC chat that you're new. Don't break IC in OOC or OOC in IC unless it's STRICTLY necessary (say, to not get you banned or some such, but if admins aren't going to listen to your side of the story, you've probably found a bad server).
But really, read the wiki. Maybe find a Sandbox server and try things out, experiment!
Is it possible to run BYOND in WINE? A lot of people seem to be saying it doesn't work, and I got nowhere trying to make it work.
I couldn't get it to work. One of the reasons why I double-boot.
Start up SS13 after long hiatus
Check out old fav server, it's shit
Check out new server, seems alright
Join as chef, used to be a fav job of mine
Notice new stuff lying around, specifically an EFTPOS scanner
Ask if anyone knows what it is, it's for wireless transactions
Notice ATMs in the walls
Nobody knows how the EFTPOS works, no wiki entry, not even the admins know
Learn by trial and error
Become Henry Beau, diner chef of Maltese Falcon
Teach everyone to use EFTPOS
Half of station thinks it's awesome, other half think I'm a traitor for charging money for my food
Round after round, charge money for food as Henry Beau

And now chefs pretty much uniformly charge money...
I am currently banned from /tg/station because I was playing scientist and nothing happened all round so I still had all my bombs intact when it came time for the shuttle. During the shuttleride, right when I was setting the timers for an end of the round explosion, some asshole set off a flashbang which caused me to jump and accidentally click on the "open" button of the tank valve. The admins didn't believe that it was an accident, and so I am banned till sometime in october I think.
>try to get into game
>some asshole trying to paradox the AI every single time
>dragged into a stall by a traitor and beaten until I joined them
>abducted by some insane scientist and made into a cyborg against my will while security passively looked on

Yeah... nah. I could maybe look over how stupidly clunky it is, but this some bullshit.
>Find another server
>Stop bitchin'
SS13 is good if you have a good admin (knows what he is doing, checks out peoples stories for validity, doesn't just favor his fucking friends). Otherwise it's bullshit. OP's picture just about sums up my experience as security chief. We literally had the most sloppy traitors in existence but we couldn't do anything about because "SECURITY ABUSE." Also loved the "WTF, WHERE WAS SECURITY?!?" when half the station exploded. Fuck this game, never playing it again.
>start game as traitor security
>need to steal magboots
>acquire said magboots as some other traitors seek to destroy the station with atmos funstuff
>join up with other security bro and be best security
>eventually the entire station is on fire
>bro security burns to death, and I burn trying to get him out of there
>Sometimes there's more to the game than killing everyone
Third game I ever played.

I joined as a Cargo Technician.

Only other guy there was the Quarter Master.

He told me to move crates onto the conveyor belt.

I fucked up, moved the first one to the wrong belt, the QM took it to the right one, patiently told me to take the other ones to this one, left to do QM things.

I took all the normal crates, asked over radio about the special crates, he told me to take those too.

Half-way through, he ran in, grabbed me, dragged me to an out-of-the-way room, told me about how a syndicate member tried to shoot him.

So in interest of survival, he took me to an escape pod, welded us in.

Time passed, we talked, the pod ejected, we got away safely.

I know it seems stupid, and pointless, but I enjoyed that for reasons inexplicable.
Actually sounds nice.
Was kinda getting tired of random people bursting into the bar and asking for as many pan-galactic gargle blasters as they could drink before passing out and sueing me the next day.
The secret for enjoying SS13, for me, is to not care about winning and just have other fun when you inevitably die.

It's like paranoia, without 6 lives.
Mainly I played as a roboticist.

One rev round I spent the entire time passing flashes to one of the rev heads, being a head myself. Over time, I pimped out a Gygax and gave my trusty rev assistant one of his own. We stormed the brig where the heads were holed up in a wave of robotic fury. Watching them shit themselves was hilarious.
your biggest problem was playing security
See, I've had shitty rounds as Sec one or twice, but for the most part its been pretty good.

It sucks that in the time it takes to type "Halt, citizen!" they've almost always either ran or shanked you and spaced you but occasionnally I've had great rounds.

Particularly when the escape shuttle has arrived and, instead of just elbowing and crowbarring my way on board like most people, I've run back into the bruning mangled wreck of a station to find and evacuate trapped civilians
Is SS13 still lagging like shit?
Isn't someone trying to rewrite the game?
Hey, I'm kinda new to this, I've installed BYOND and clicked on the server links on the /tg/station page but nothings happened, have I done something wrong?
You need a BYOND account
Does the pope shit in the woods?
The last dozen or so times I've played on any server, there wasn't a functional legal system, as such, so that kind of thing didn't happen.

Can't get sued if there isn't a Lawyer, or indeed, a court that gets used.

Hell, I've gotten blasted on my characters and no one even bothered with my drunken antics as long as no one got hurt and nothing got broken.

The fact that I wasn't doing my job and making a mess with vomit seemingly didn't matter.

If anything I was doing the opposite of my job as Janitor by making messes.

And as a Clown, stuff like Drunken Antics are sort of your job, even if it kind of conflicts with other people. Which is the beauty of the game, I guess. Everyone has so many resources they want to do stuff, or get in each others way somehow. Fun happens.

Although I have gotten punched in the nose for sitting on a bar stool as a mime, and conspicuously drinking my bottle of nothing.
That probably hasn't happened for hundreds of years.
I'd say have a macro for it, or just have it typed in constantly, and if you want to say something else, erase that and type that.
Someone actually refluffed Paranoia into SS13: The Tabletop RPG
Oh, God.

Where can has?
> Be AI
> Trick the Captain I got subverted and that I need a restoration
> Got restored
> Tell captain I'm got subverted again by the same fool that can't explain his laws properly so that's why I'm asking for help
> Captain resets me again
> I tell captain a third time I got re-subverted. I asked him to give me power to stop this non-sense because it's getting old now.
> Captain makes me PALADIN
> I starts my onslaught punishing with deadly accuracy every shit ass nobody who I dim a chuckelfuck
> Captain is blamed for turned me paladin for no apparent reason
> I blame the RD was subverting me
> Captain and HoS invade science, arrest everyone, RD is killed by one of my loyal borgs with no questions asked
> One scientist releases slimes everywhere
> Slimes starts to causing a clusterfuck in the bar and medbay areas
> Call the shuttle Ai, call the shuttle!
> "negative, slimes must be purged first"
> My borgs destoy the slimes, 2/3 of the crew is either dead or arrested for nothing
> HoS lock everyone arrested in permabrig
> HoS accidentally shots one of the borgs, or so he claims
> Ohyoudidnt.jpg
> The borgs swarm security, engineers and secborgs. They tase and weld everyone.
> I control security now.
> I arrest everyone on the station, save one engineer guy who was the entire shift wiring solars and making a new room in space.
> One borg decides to kill everyone inside by unmaking the walls of permabrig that leads to space.
> "go for it son,they're all criminal scum anyway"
> everyone is either shocking to death or beating each other. One guy jump in space, lands in a solar but dies before he can get inside
> Shuttle arrives, the lonely engineer cards me and my borgs and I go triunphantly home
> Apparently it was a traitor round, but the traitor wnet brainded and missed all the fun
> Everyone blamed the captain and the RD for my faggotry.
> Flaming war before the start of the new round
> This new round ends in grief in 5 minutes
I love this game!
You are the worst human being
That's what being a computer is all about!
>Be QM
>Round starts out all normal, yell at miners to get their shit going, yell at cargo techs that we need another 20 copies of requisition form B-21c, lick HoPs boots clean
>Message from CMO "Come to genetics so we can take a sample for cloning"
>Answer "I got shit to do. Fill out a form and maybe I'll get to you eventually"
>2 minutes lates CMO actually turns up in Cargo Bay "Alright, which form do I have to fill?"
>Be completly surprised (and a bit touched) by someone actually going through forms out of free will, produce 5 different forms for him to "Requisition Cargo Bay Personel For Medical Purposes"
>he even gets the captains stamp on them
>follow him to medbay
>CMO "okay, just a little prick now and it will be over. everyting will be over."
>Get suspicious for the wording
>CMO tries to inject you with something!
>Fuck. Inject. Not Draw. Immediatly leg it for the exit.
>doors closed
>run around the room like a ferret on crack trying to avoid the needle while yelling at the AI to open the damn doors
>CMO "Please stand still, Bob. You are sick, Bob. I will help you, Bob."
>Doors open, get chased by CMO throuh the entire station
>loose him somewhere near brig, start banging against detectives door because sec is ignoring me
>explain my situation to him, he promises to help, tells me to stay in his office and heads for the medbay to do his thing
>someone starts disassembling one of the outer walls to the detectives office from the outside
>it's the CMO, singing a variation of that fucking nursery rhyme from nightmare on elm's street while working
>start yelling at AI and Sec to please open the goddamn doors
>CMO "They can't hear you, Bob. I made sure of that, Bob. Now let me help you, Bob."
>throw fire extinguisher at him, manage to slip throug hthe hole in the wall
>he blocked all the escape routes with wall girders
>disassemble wall girders with tools from CMO's toolbox
>coms come back online, captain yells at people to bring him the head of the traitorous asshle who disabled them
>it seems nobody can hear what I'm broadcasting
>my blood freezes when the CMO says he heard me brag about how I disabled them
>I stop my light to try and explain myself, CMO shows up again, I have to run again
>manage to lose him by slipping into the bridge at the last second
>CMO "; Security, please arrest Bob, he is sick and needs my help!"
>AI allows Sec onto the bridge where I'm still hiding, they don't believe me, try to arrest me
>I crush the balls of one of the two clowns with a fire extinguisher and leg it again
>Now Sec is pissed because I attacked them, the captain is pissed because I was on the bridge, the HoP is pissed because no one is supervising the cargo techs (who started building a fort in he cargo bay) and the CMO is eing a creepy fuck who keeps sending me messages over my pager
>CMO "Please don't run, Bob. You are sick, Bob. Allow me to help you, Bob."
>hiding in maintenance now, captain is handing out stunbatons and flashs like candy to everyone who promises to hunt "that traitorus fuck of a QM"
>go the only place I have left, the cargo bay
>a sole sec officer is waiting there and ambushes me, stuns and cuffs me
>the two cargo techs pop out of their fort
>I yell at them to help me
>they ask why they would do that
>"Because he entered the inner cargo bay without written permission of the Quartermaster!"
>they robust the shit out of the sec guy and free me
>now all three of us are on the run
>the escape shuttle is called because xenobiology let their pets loose on the station. for science.
>we hide in the incinerator room for 2 minutes
>CMO bursts in, shoots Cargo tech 1 point blank in the face with a sawn of shotgun, kills cargo tech 2 with an energy sword
>CMO "It is time, Bob."
>I ram a toolbox into his crotch, he falls, I work his face with a blowtorch till I'm sure he's dead
>HUGE relief, head for entry hall escape pods
>escape shutle takes off in 30 seconds, escape pod doors open
>it's the detective. He says nothing, sits down, buckles in
>try to start a conversaion
>You feel a tiny rick
>Detective takes of gasmask
>It's the CMO
>Cuffs me, buckles me in, takes out circular saw
>CMO "All I wanted was to help you, Bob. Why don't you want me to help you, Bob? Look what you're making me do, Bob."

The rest of the story involves an awfull lot of blood and gore. Mine

And yeah, CMO was traitor who had to kill me and escape alive.
Damn son!
Oh my.

At least you didn't get raped.
>baystation's autistic if you don't roleplay the way we tell you to we'll permaban you, fucknugget.
If you don't want to rp, stay clear of the rp servers, retard
> Be engineer
> CE tells me to wire the damn solars or else
> "Okay Dokay"
> Put on a suit, grab all the cables I can and to solars I go
> I take my time I don't even give a fuck. The solars were beautifully done
> CE tels me to look for dents in the space station because someone reported a broken window by one of the maintenance tunnels
> "Okay Dokay"
> I'm floating around with a fire extinguisher thinking to me that I'm the space cowboy, baby
> I'm passing by the cargo windows when shots are fired.
> It's a shootout between cargo techs and their shotguns and the HoP, HoS and Warden's lasers
> "Holy shit, what the flying fuck"
> Shotgun shots in my direction, they hit the window
> "Fuck that shit"
> I try to float away, fire extinguisher is empty
> Fuck I throw the fire extinguisher trying to aim to the south solar
> I land in the solar, there's a sec borg in there
> "You engineer, stop right there now or I'll tase you!"
> "Don't tase me bro" I jump in space
> I'm fuckign adrift, and god damn it I was adrift for a long ass time, trying to maneuveur throwing my pen, then the cables and then my god damn shoes
> "Fucking space, took my shoes, man"
> After what seemed like forever I landed in the mining asteroid
> "Well, at least that"
> I proceed to the main camp where the miners use to melt all their shit
> There are seven motherfuckers, only one of them a miner, panting the floor with blood runes and speaking gibberish
> One of them sees me and says "You came to the wrong neighborhood."
> "Oh my fucking fucking shit"
> "Cult in the asteroid, cult in the asteroid!"
> Comms are down
> The miner in his hardsuit is coming to the doors with a dark blade of hell
> "Fuck that shit 2.0!"
> I jump in space. Fuck you assholes, you're not eating my soul.
> I'm adrift again. For forever. Again.
and that's why you always cram your backpack full with as much stuff as possible before going on a space trip, anon.
I think it was just a bunch of tables to roll for profession, whether or not you're a traitor, if so, your objective, yadda yadda... And random events generator tables too, that stuff.
The charsheet itself was refluffed a bit, so instead of Combat it was Robustness or something.
Lemme dig up my old HD and see if it's on there.
One time, before the bomb revisions, someone threw a tank transfer valve (read: A BOMB!) into the brig where Cuban Pete and I were, and started running.

Pete picked up the bomb, and threw it instantly, and ran.

It hit the would be bomber a moment before blowing the brig entrance into a crater and the traitor into tiny bloody pieces.

Pete and I survived.

It was glorious.
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> I hit that space station with the syndicate gear in it and the retro laser
> Oh wow a weapon, now we're talkign about. Refill my air tank in the air supply of the ship and jump in space
> I'm floating for forever with a retro laser, a hardsuit, minimal gear and no shoes
> I hit the derelict station. Fucking yes. I can go home from here.
> I grab a pAI and the intelicard the pAI flashes
> "Why the fuck not"
> "Hello I'm Noobtron" (or something like that)
> Then he proceeds to insult me and demands to be taken to the space station and that I was a faggot.
> "Okay Dokay"
> I use the coffing tossign thing and go back to the station, but I don't hit the chappel. In fact there's nothing there. I stop somewhere near the hologram room
>"Narsie wants your soul"
> What the flying motherfucking fuck
> "the shuttle has arrived in the station"
> Oh god damn it
> I float around not seeing anyone alive
> I see Narsie
> "FUCK!"
> I float aroudn to the engineer pod moments before it's launching.
> I buckled up and the pAI says "wow buddy, i don't know if you're ulucky or lucky but that shit was too damn real for me"
> I fucking nod
> I don't even know anymore
> In my head my engineer went home seeing an elder god of the void and became mental, probably suicided with his retro laser
> All my wtf
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I can't find the traitor/changeling/wizard objective chart, but it shouldn't be hard for a GM to think one up on the fly.
Where is the Miner job?
> So there I was, the only botanist of the station
> Tending my garden ike a pro. Power cropping in that bitch. I barely hear the radio, I'm too busy moving aroudn watering my plots and killing dem weeds
> Oh damn I shoudl had paied attention
> I have no idea why, who or what the fuck, but assistants and medics were shooting lasers across the hallway
> I unwrench a plot and I'm using it as a shield to not get lasered and farmign it at the same time, god damn it I'm good at that
> One assistant tells me that the revolution broke in and no one's safe
> Oh god damn it, what?
> A guy gets inside wearing the HoP's suit. He tases he flashes me and tell me welcome. Clearly he wasn't the HoP.
> No you fucknot I'm gardening!
> He bludgeon my head with a toolbox
> "You now remember where your loyalties are"
> Oh dear lod, the guy revolutionized me and then unrevolutionized me in a fit of rage. I'm ded now.
> Flashbangs. the "HoP' is murdered by the sec, before they could cuff me they're attacked by two medics and all hel breaks loose
> I get up, and jump in the dispose unity, but not before to harvest my motherfucking ambrosia and pumpkins
> I'm in cargobay
> Blood everywhere
> There's an unweld wall
> I see a locker, fuck this shit I get inside the locker
> People passing by shooting. Borgs tasing. It's beautiful mad.
> I stay inside eating ambrosia and berries. I don't even give a fuck.
> Some miner guy shouts by the radio I'm fucking hungry and there is no chef. Botanist open that shit up I want those apples.
> "Damn it It's a miner-bro. I can't let that guy hanging. it's on bitches.
> I put my pumpkin hat, my bucket and grab my hatchet.
> I leave the locker and an assitant comes near me. Hatchet in the face, I run. I see a sec guy, hey you stop, i toss water in the floro and keeps running, the joker slips and fal
> I head to hydroponics
> The miner is in the floor bleeding, I drag him inside, ressurect him with inapporvalineCPR
> I fed the shit out of him with apples and grapes
> He thanks me and lead me away via the maintenance tunnels to the mining shuttle
> We go to the asteroid and we stay there eating ambrosia until we can't walk straight.
> "The heads stopped the revolution" is announced
> Papa Botanist would be so proud
File: 1379012877694.pdf-(9 KB, PDF, SS13_Charsheet2.pdf)
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New and hopefully improved charsheet, now in resizable PDF format!
That this is OLD, bro...
See if you can fit it in somewhere, maybe lower the chances of becoming a greyshirt?

How do I into edit?
And how do I make that a .PDF?
I use Inkscape, it's a vector graphics editor, real easy to use, especially if you just use text.
Save from there as PDF.

Want me to set it all into a nice PDF format? Gimme, like, an hour and a half, I got some grocery shopping to do real quick.
Okay, so I played some of this tonight cause of you guys, found it very confusing and a tad buggy, but overall quite fun, will defiantly log on again sometime
No need to be defiant, someone might call Sec down on you.
No, I got it.

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I'm proud, anon.
I guess i shall have to log on meekly then
god damn autocorrect
>> "Fucking space, took my shoes, man"

Why am I laughing at this shit.
>be clown
>bad jokan'
>banana peel chukkan'
>security outrunnan'
>all day erry day
>eventually security places a bounty on my big red nose
>get roped in by scientist and swayed to the traitor cause
>Objective: Murder the HoS. Science dude must survive
>science-dude-turned-honorary-clown makes me a backpack bomb
>stalk the HoS throughout the station
>eventually manage to throw a peel in from of him making him slip and fall
>science-dude makes HoS unconscious with some form of injection
>drag him to the room behind the stage
>buckle him down in a chair
>I tell science dude to leg it after he took the HoS ID
>I sit down on another chair and give the HoS a sad honk
>"You shouldn't have put that bounty on me. Things like that can make people sad. "
>The Bomb has been planted!
>All power to the Honkmother! Honkmother akhbar!
>ensuing havoc forces the captain to call the shuttle
>Science dude makes a clean escape
>last thing he does before shuttle docks at nanotrasen HQ is honk my old beaten horn he rescued from the bomb crater
>Clowns Win!
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>download byond
>create account
>open ss13 /tg/ server
>click setup character
>nothing happens
>wait five minutes
>click setup character
>nothing happens
>click observe
>just shows a bunch of gray tiles and nothing else
>zoom around the grey tiles slowly, the program barely responds
>stops responding at all
>click setup character
>nothing happens

cool game guys
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>doesn't take the time to learn how to properly play the game and what servers to connect to
>whines to /tg/
yeah, but tossers still carry grudges. I had one tool stalk me for 3 rounds trying to get vengeance for my spacing of his badsec.

He also got the admins involved, tried to robust me while I was talking face to face with said admin and spammed me with insults and provocations.

I killed him 5-6 more times over the span of the 3 games before I finally let him grab me in the garbage disposal.

I just wanted to do a bit of roleplaying, not deal with psycho paths wielding buzz saws and stun batons every game.
well technically it is a fruit amigo. Not sure why the thought it was a berry.
I was on the /tg/ server, there were people chatting and shit

I could have asked them wat do but fuck it
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I got bored
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Literally the moment after I installed Inkscape, and downloaded the image.
Fukken' Saved
>if you roll lover then your target
Nice try.
You do the GM screen then! The font is called Mekanik, I don't recall if it's a standard windows font or not. And here's a list of Random mutations and tics:

Random Clone Tic Chart (Tics accumulate)
d10 (negative numbers in dice)
1 Tourette's (-1 Social)
2 Headache (-1 Brains)
3 Blind (0 visual Perception)
4 Deaf (0 aural Percetopn)
5 Parkinson's (-1 Athletics)
6 Random Collapsing (-2 Stealth)
7 Retardation (-2 Clevar)
8 Horrible Disfiguration (-2 Social)
9 Sporadic Paraplegia (-2 Robusting)
10 Reroll, confirm on 10: Mutation (+2 Combat, -1 Clevar, -2 Social, -1 Stealth)
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Sod you
The angular header font is called Mekanik LET, the bread text font is called Odessa LET. Dunno if standard still...
Polite sage because samefagging
Got it, boss.
I mean, if you wanna make it in a similar style, but only if you wanna, nobody's makin' ya.
Also, if you have the fonts, you should be able to open and convert the PDFs to text and vector geometrics, potentially saving you some time on formatting - if you wanna make it in a similar stle, but only if you wanna, nobody's makin' ya....
Wanna make it a similar style, don't have the fonts, can't find them.
Nevermind, found 'em.
>be assistant
>go to HoP every time and ask him for the hand labeler on the shelf
>every time get pointed to supply on the other side
>get a hand labeler
>spend the rest of the round putting "Ken Kennedy was here" on every object i can find until it's time to leave or i get griefed for being an assistant
is this normal
Perfectly normal.
Die you lazy greyshirt, DIE
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Nice to see an ss13 thread from time to time.

I've got an RP server with some of the old guard /tg/station players, if people are interested - byond://mycraft.se:1337
Rules - http://mycraft.se/wiki/index.php/Rules

It's not nearly as chaotic as /tg/station and the like, but that would make it a very nice and relaxed way to learn the game. (Rounds will usually go for 2+ hours)
We all have our guilty pleasures. I try to find some excuse for jacking a ripley every round. And once I got one I try to find an excuse to insert the drill into the clown.
If my labeler ever gets taken away (usually ends up happening if I go somewhere I'm not supposed to), I get drunk, go back and demand my labeler back while calling everyone a racist and/or a rapist.
Joining when round is finished here. Shouldn't be long.
>be noob assistant
>spend most of the round stealing equipment and trying to break into the armory by systematically dismantling a way through the sec quarters
>never get there
>shuttle gets called, stroll into one of the escape pods near arrivals
>notice that the coms are awfully quiet
>sit down, buckle in
>a dude in a black spacesuit walks in and sits down
>have a really nice talk with him about the station and shit
>30 seconds till shuttle starts
>"Well, was nice talking with you, assistant, but I'm afraid I have to kill you before this thing takes off. Nothing personal."
>Shoots me in the face with laser rifle

And that's how I first met a deathsquad officer. Nice guys.
you're downloading the game silly, that's why you're lagging to shit.
Wait until you see the spacestation instead of a black screen
you're streaming the game resources while you play, leave it open for a few minutes
And it's not just every time, it's every DAMN FUKKEN time
If anyone wants to start a new server, or host a small temp server for friends, I made this mod of /tg/ that has less jobs and a whole new map for it. I call it MiniStation. It's updated to the latest /tg/ code so you get all their new features too, like the RTS blobs and the really new speech bubbles.

Map: http://filesmelt.com/dl/ministation.png

Code: https://github.com/Giacomand/MiniStation
Bunp for the Honkmother
Oh, what's this? A SS13 thread, just when I was browsing? Well, I guess I can share a story,but it'll take time to remember a good one. Post some stories in the meantime, alright?
>Papa Doc
>The guy who made the army of clones
>Fuck yes
I think SS13 threads are getting unpopular...
But do post, please!
Whoops, forgot my second part of the post, was telling who I was in case someone didn't know and wanted to know why I was namefagging.
>Murderboning as Paladin AI
>Law One: Do not commit evil acts
How are you not banned?
>spend several days getting used to the game mechanics by playing as assistant several times
>1 hour ago: eh, I'll jump in as mime, how hard can be it be?
>me and the clown harass security, yay!
>suddenly there are like 5 clowns, that's not right?
>half an hour later I am in a straight jacket and a clown is drinking my blood
>honking everywhere
>have terrible hallucinations, attempt to fight them with a taser gun

Yeah this is ... well, it's fun. I dunno what else it is.
Security can be defeated with a locked door and an AFK AI. Awesome.
Alright, I think I've got a good one. Commencing storytime.

>So, I was going to go and play SS13 with my friend, the PAI P.A.P.A-D.
>We weren't even trying to cause trouble, though we WERE playing on the same station as we invaded. We were curious if anyone would robust us on sight.
>Round start
>You are the only revhead on the station, yay!
>Whoops, forgot to turn that off, wanted to be peaceful.
>Ah fuck it, let's kill erryone with style.
>Walk out of medbay, pick up PAI, get friend in.
>Pilfer blowtorch, crowbar, and all the remote detonators that I can stuff in my jacket and backpack from tool storage.
>Friend downloads remote detonator.
>Walk back to surgery, go through maintenance, create fake wall onto main corridor.
>Pause for a second, make one into janicloset too.
>PAI messages janitor, tells him there's a mess outside the closet.
>Janitor walks into closet after a while, flashed.
>Instruct him to lay low for a while, and he will know when it is time.
>Janitor nods, moves off.
>Head back to medbay, attract attention of other medical doctor.
>"Hezzo, could you chow me how to uze these tools? In Spacelovakia, we only haf rusty corkscrewz."
>"...How did you become a doctor?"
>"I was ze reincarnated zoul of one."
>Doctor shrugs, heads in, is flashed.
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Yes. They're making some good progress too.

I'm not a huge fan of the artstyle of the remake, but that's only because their spessmen are tall instead of short.

Thankfully they're ditching the abomination that is BYOND. It could look 100x worse and I still wouldn't give a shit.
How's it going, anon?
Erm, I'm not quite done yet.

'Nother fifteen minutes, maybe?
Take yer tame! I'm gonna try this this weekend I think
time* doi
>Instruct doctor to lay low, not do anything yet.
>Go get my DNA sequenced.
>Flash geneticist, tell him to clone me twice.
>Call up janitor, tell him to come to surgery in 5 minutes.
>Call up chemist, tell him to make some medical supplies and bring them to surgery.
>He already had them, brings them here.
>Flash him, give him the detonators, tell him to make explosives. Not the lame kind, the "Big Bomninks that explode someonez ribz zrough de wall."
>Makes one as janitor arrives, implant into the janitor, send him off for later.
>Chemist creates rest of bombs, I flash toxins.
>All medbay is under my control, except CMO (Viro spaced himself, I think).
>Call CMO into genetics, say I'm stuck.
>Robust, out ze airlock he goes.
>Correction, All medbay is under my control, no exceptions.

Maybe I'll play this weekend too, who knows! Haven't played in a while though, so I might not be at my full lovable potential.
Quick question.
If you used Inkscape, what size page did you use?

I have the text done, it just formats it strangely whenever I save it.

I remember teaching Cuban Pete how to make bombs - I was Aranus your friendly neighborhood scientist one round when Cuban Pete, as a Clown, dismantled his way into Toxins and started faffing about. I'd called for Security, but they were busy murdering the Janitor, so I shrugged and asked Pete if he wanted a lesson on bomb-making.

Thirty minutes or so later we were done, I gave Pete the weakest of the completed bombs, and he ran off merrily on his way while I hooked the other two bombs up to remote detonators set to a specific frequency I'd pre-tuned my PDA to and stuffed them in my backpack, just in case. Shortly after the Head of Security spotted Pete and tried to kill him because Clown, and Pete suicide bombed him.

The Captain promptly ordered Security to arrest and space me, and in self-defense I triggered my two bombs when the Security team closed in. Blew up roughly a quarter of the station.

And that's how I got banned on /tg/station. Apparently Pete continued bombing things in memory of me, though.
Nevermind this, when I view it in .PDF, it steals all my spaces, and replaces them with rectangles that do nothing but overlap with letters and make it even harder to read.
Have to leave soon, sadly. I'll speed the story up, giving the hilights.

>Take out doctor and geneticists brains, put them in my bodies.
>Janitor calls HoS down to a body he murdered, throws him out airlock, I detonate him.
>People understand that it's a rev round, oh boy.
>Start flashing people left and right, just telling them to hold their bombs.
>PAI starts blowing up people left and right, I head to toxins.
Alright, I'd never heard of SS13 before this thread, but it looked FUN.

So, I spent several hours reading up on facts in the wiki, making sure I'd have a passing semblance at competence in the game (not that I actually did when I got in there). Of course, I start as an Assistant because that's what everybody says to start out as. But Jesus fucking Christ, I had a horrifying experience.

Everything starts well. I'm "new to space," so the Engineer takes me under his wing and I start learning how to fix shit. It's pretty fun, and we're just hanging about and doing our jobs when the Miners come back from the asteroid and start heading for the Medbay (they passed right by me). Next thing I know, there's a massive clusterfuck going on. Thirty minutes in.

Fuckin' xenos, man.

Facehuggers had gotten the Miners, although what strange influence had brought them to think they should come back on the station is beyond me.

So the Medics are a bunch of blundering chucklefucks tripping over fucking banana peels (so this is why everybody kills the clowns), and the larvae escape into the ducts. A few minutes later, we've a full scale invasion on our hands. I'm still shadowing the Engineer because I know fuck-all about combat in this game and quite honestly it took me ages to figure out how to hit things with a toolbox. Engineer and I are running like fuck through the space station, I don't know where we were going until we hit the cargo bay, where there were some spacesuits (I think?) that had just been requisitioned. He told me to put it on, but at that particular moment some adult xenos decided the cargo bay would be a fun place to hang out so I decided to GTFO and left the Engineer with a couple of those Cargo Personnel folks. Probably not the best idea.

So now I'm running alone through the space station and lights are going out and I try to swing by the R&D sector--I read that bombs and chemicals were there, which might help. Nope. Entire thing is fuckin' GONE. As in, one of the Scientists kamikaze'd. It was sealed off and an atmos guy was running around in circles. So I continue my mad dash through this unspeakable hell and almost get hugged or robusted by xenos several times. I managed to pick up a shotgun from the corpse of the Bartender, who was next to the kitchen gibber (door was left open). Swiped that, but not once did I stop to fire, no. I ran. And ran in circuits and I knew it was not going to be very long for me.

Apparently the Escape Shuttle had been called, because I almost ran past that. The long-lost Engineer was in there, ready to weld the doors shut but he ushered me in first. It was just him and me and I was right next to him as he welded the doors shut. We were gonna live.

So apparently, the xenos leave the pink web stuff around. I didn't know that until afterwards. It was also all over the inside of the escape shuttle, as well as a few corpses strewn about. It's pretty obvious what happens next. The two of us are staring in creeping horror at the web he have welded ourselves in with. And, then, facehugger.

I'd like to say it got the engie and that I was the sole survivor, but that was not the case. After the deed, it was him and me. I calmly gave him the shotgun and a quick nod, and looked death straight down the barrel.

Fuck I love this game.
Cool story, bro.
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Can't fix the problem, can't find help, can't get help, hoping someone who knows what they're doing can fix it, just putting it out there.
I've never encountered that problem... Sorry, but I can't help with that, bro.
Wait, show me the dialog box that comes up when you save as PDF from Inkscape. Maybe the settings are off...
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Can't, when I try to bring it up, it ends up looking like >picrelated.
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But when you save as PDF from Inkscape, you should get a pop-up that asks some stuff, pic related.
Mine was like that, but rasterize wasn't checked, and it was restricted to 1.5 PDF.
Try exporting with the settings like they are in the pic? That's how I save...
I'll try.
I don't see how that'd help at all, but... eh?
Didn't work, but thanks for trying.
Aye... Hmmm, you could try opening the PDF in Inkscape and see if the problem becomes visible?
Or open the other PDF and try exporting it again, seeing if it changes with your exportation?

I have to get to bed now, but good luck, anon!
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I got it!

I just had to save it as a page, instead of a drawing.

Joyous Day.
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Just had a fun short round
>liberty station 88
>running QM for the first time in a looooooong time.
>just toting cargo and bins full of corgis.
>suddenly my tech runs up proffers me a pill.
>sure why not.jpg.
>proceed to have massive hallucinations and believe to be chased around by another player. Along with zombies aliens and I'm pretty sure a ghost.
>see the universe explode into fire and vacuum out of nowhere
>all while trying to not get rustled.
>make it to shuttle, guy's there.
>hits me.
>proceed to beat the man to death with the crowbar I forgot I had while medical techs look on in pure shock.
>cargo tech is there and stares at me.
>"what did you give me?"
>I honestly don't know.

my face that game.
>Facehuggers had gotten the Miners, although what strange influence had brought them to think they should come back on the station is beyond me.

Presumably they were trying not to metagame and headed for medbay with the assumption they could be checked up there. Or they just wanted to have a fun xeno round.
Shit, I haven't played in AGES.

Fuck man I'm not sure if I can even remember my account name. I've probably forgotten everything.

I always liked to play the janitor though. It's a menial job, but I did it with dedication.

Barman's pretty cool too.

Man, think I might redownload it and shit. What's a good server?

Try Baystation, it's pretty decent. Avoid the Goonstations.
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Cuban Pete was a hero. He was a fantastic artist, making masterpieces of destruction everywhere like it was nothing, composing an orchestra of chaos, death, and explosions. He knew no right nor wrong, only awesomeness. A magnificent bastard, an unstoppable agenda and the skills to carry it out. He was the spirit of the station, the beauty inside us all. Deep within, we all miss him, even if it's just a little bit. He was a true patriot.
Bay has gotten MUCH worse over the years. I know exactly three people who are actually part of the Bay 12 community who frequent the server, and there's an unholy amount of furfags and special snowflakes.
This is probably the best first round you could've gotten. Mine, about two years ago or something, also had xenomorphs wandering around. All the lights were off, and then I was basically wandering around in the dark until I got picked off.

Bay. Is. AWFUL.

I had to download it on my Win7 computer. I can't seem to get it to work with my Win8 laptop at all.
Just tried the latest version and still the same problem.
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Now in Image Form.
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He was the one true king of the Rhumba beat.
That is beautiful.
Rest in peace, you magnificent son of a bitch.
Dammit, gets me every time.
Could Centration be classified as a remake too?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VztyvcIYGkI they've got SOME progress done
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That picture looks for all the world like Harcourt Fenton Mudd.

And I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I already have a picture of Stella. Amazing.
>Be Security Officer
>Slow shift so far not a lot goin' on-
>Go time, putting the boots to the clown will have to be put on hold
>Get to the research lab, see the ninja murdering our science dweebs
>RD is dead, scientist is dead, Ninja faggot standing over them with his ninja faggot energy sword
>Says something about Castlevania but I can't read the entire thing as the ninja mask has a filter that makes you hard to understand
>Whip out my baton, get the AI to open the doors for me-
>Ninja dunks me. Ded.
>Borg drags me to cloning.
>Come out of cloning, ninja in arrivals maint, more people have died in my absence.
>Haul ass over there, stepping over dead bodies, pull out my taser gun
>Open up a maint corridor and see the faggot ninja beating the head of security's head in
>He has the HoS's riot shield and gun
>Blocks the shot, stuns me, stabs me to death with his faggot sword AGAIN
>Same borg clones me.
>Get out to learn that the ninja has spaced all of security but me, power is failing, emergency shuttle has been called to evacuate the survivors of the ninja onslaught
>Someone screams that the ninja is in escape wholesale slaughtering the remaining crew
>I've suffered severe damage from my cloning injuries
>Limp down to the escape bay
>A small crowd has gathered with the (slim) hopes of lynching the ninja with their fire extinguishers and stungloves
>I show up and he walks out the airlock casually dragging a dying engineer with him
>He drags them onto a support lattice in full view of the remaining crew to stab them with his faggot sword
>I have no internals, no space suit, my baton, one pair of cuffs, and a flash which will not work on the ninja
>With only my hate for this ninja to shield me I open the airlock into space and shout "I AM THE LAW!"
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>JUMP over to this ninja with surprising speed given how fucked up repeated cloning has left me
>Get a lucky hit in with my baton
>He activates his anti-stun implant or whatever the fuck and tries to scoot away with his jetpack
>NOPE. Get another good baton smack in.
>Start relentlessly going to town on this ninja
>Lynch mob is cheering me on
>Dying of cold and no air, borg runs outside
>Borg is still on the standard Asimov law set and pleads with me to stop harming the ninja as he is human and protected under law 1
>I am not letting this moment get away from me
>Use my flash on the borg to overload its sensors temporarily
>Continue beating
>As the life leaves the Ninja's eyes he explodes into giblets along with the engineer victim next to him
>Explosion combined with cloning damage, no air, and the cold of space, puts me into a critical state.
>The borg doesn't recover fast enough to save me
>I spend my last moments looking at the hole in the lattice that was once that faggot ninja and smiling, I had saved my station
>Die a warrior's death and become a ghost
>The collective ghosts of the entire station are on top of me as I leave cheering me on.
>With no power left to clone me the remaining crew puts me in a special coffin and loads me onto the escape shuttle.
>I was the hero.
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The hero the station needed.
Was anyone there for the round where I sent the Central Command PDA messages?

It was on /tg/2 a couple nights ago.
The next round in OOC the guy playing the ninja said something about lag making it so he couldn't escape me.

But it wasn't space wind on my side that day. It was JUSTICE.
I was the captain that round.

>"Guys centcomm doesn't use PDAs to communicate with us."
You were a fine captain.

I just sent the messages because I was bored and wanted to be the GOD-AI WHO SEES ALL.
So what's the current /tg/ server? Been a while since I played.
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You nuked centcomm and killed the entire crew.

You glorious bastard.
Pete would be proud, son.
Never get me bored as AI or fun starts to happen.

I really had faith that miner and robo-bros would stop the nuke in a show of heroism and save us all.
Wait someone nuked centcomm
Storytime naoh
Whose side do you want to hear it from?

We seem to have the Mastermind AI here and the Good Captain who saw it all go down.
i personally stopped playing because it got to the point that if i didnt play perfet-little-pet-bitch and do everything "right" (which meant NO FUN unless you were the traitor, anyone not the traitor had to play pure-lawful-fucking-good), anyways, anyone who had "fun" was banned, was total bullshit.

this was about 6 months ago, admins still shitty McDoGoods with huge sticks up their asses and a vendetta against the occasional well-planned mass-murder?
Man, I never got all the complaints about /tg/station admins. They never bothered me, even when I legit fucked up and killed tons of people or released semi-harmful virus types into the station.

All right, allow the AI here to type it up.
Okay, so.

It was a quiet night on /tg/2, when a little AI core named DINGUS booted up for a shift.

>Round starts normally, the lone engineer being actually competent for a change and setting up the solars quickly
>Chaplain comes into one of my AI rooms to make runes and candles
>Everything's running smoothly until-
>Detective gets on the case instantly, gets an EVA suit with my help, is unable to find any evidence of who bombed, assistant is gibs
>shrug and move on, fence off danger zones
>do my job as a door opener, boredom starts to set in
>Lone engineer is promoted to captain by HoP
more to come
huh, so was like, the entire section of homestuck post-cascade just a vague joke about space station 13, up to and including the clown lurking the dark halls and murder-death-killing everyone?
>frantic search shows a NINJA
>Ninja runs into research
>he's peaceful, just wants some research levels, even wants to help
>well then okay
>Let ninja do his work, move on
>Eventually Captain Engi does some super robust trick and upsets the Ninja's honor
>Ninja then subverts me in a nonharmful way
Part three: shit gets real up next
>Despite the ninja shenanigans, I begin to grow bored
>PDA the idle mime
>She does as I asks and brings me the PDA server code
>Once I have that, I enter into the network
>Confirm that it works, then begin my scheme
>Set PDA name to "Central Command"
>Message the Detective "You're the only one we can trust. See this through."
>Message Miner and Robotics that they're the only ones that could be trusted, and that they were allies
>Message Detective to watch those two
>Set up some intercoms to transmit directly to me, get some popcorn
Hey, Captain, you typing this up too?
Sorry, I was escaping from a monkey-infested station.

Now, where was I?

>Ninja wants shuttle called, I oblige
>Decide to step up my game
>Tell detective and all the heads to get the nuke to the shuttle with the disk
>Tell Miner and Robo to stop that bomb at all costs
>glorious struggle at escape
>nobody I didn't message really cared, except Captain, who realized that Centcomm doesn't use PDAs
>everyone takes a moment to realize-
>Detective inserts the disk and punches in the timer
>in the last few seconds, send a message as Syndicate Command to him: "Welcome to the family."
>shuttle docks at centcomm
>centcomm destroyed, no survivors.
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>Be engineer
>My character is deathly afraid of the singularity engine used to power the station
>Decide to wire the solars instead
>Wire them directly into the grid for MAXIMUM POWAH
>During this an assistant screams bloody murder over comms
>Not my job to take care of so I don't care yet
>Announce that I finished wiring the solars on the radio
>Head of Personnel tells me to swing by his office for a promotion
>Go to put away my hardsuit first
>All the doors in engineering are emagged open and the engineering escape pod is busted open
>No one cares
>Masterfully disarm the C4
>Get my promotion, old captain braindead in HoP's office
>Notice I've been promoted to captain and not Chief Engineer as I expected
>HoP hands me the special captain's laser gun
>Suit up in captain stuff, roll with it
>Use my captain access to get a detective scanner, scan the C4 and emagged doors.
>No prints or nothin'.
>Medical Doctor asks for an engineer to surgery to fix their broken APC (It's basically a power box that supplies energy to all the devices in the room for a particular area)
>As the only person with engineering expertise on my small crew I head over to take a look-see.
>Drop off the C4 in research so they can get hella tech levels off of it. See the ninja helping them
>They say he's friendly, I really don't wanna deal with it right now so I continue to medbay
>Show up in medbay
>A giant ass bomb went off earlier in maint behind surgery
>All the glass is broken, the floor tiles are charred and damaged
>The room is starting to lose atmosphere
>Fix things up a bit, and get to work on the APC
>I don't remember all the steps for APC deconstruction so I have to pull up the wiki
>The doctor is standing behind me the entire time expectantly
>Dropping my spaghetti over how long it's taking me
>Doctor gets impatient and grabs a surgical drill and just smacks the thing until it falls off the wall
>Well okay then. Install a completely new APC.
>Go to survey the damage from the bomb that caused this
>Begin the arduous task of rewiring all that shit so the operating room APC actually has power going to it
>Following my wire along until I spot an assistant's uniform, PDA, and headset
>Follow more and there's a bloody toolbox with that assistant's blood on it
>Whip out my detective scanner and find blood that belongs to the assistant whose PDA I found and prints that belong to another assistant
>Ask my sec team to run the prints and blood I found for confrimation
>Leave to go get my engineering rig suit as the rest of this hallway is exposed to space
>Come back and the detective is there snooping for clues in an EVA suit
>Theorize that the one assistant beat the other with the toolbox, victim screamed (the earlier ruckus while I was wiring the solar arrays), and then bombed the victim to hide the body
>Continue searching, find giblets from crew caught in the explosion
>Detective and I scan them
>Blood types from our supposed victim and then surprisingly from the attacker whose prints were on the toolbox
>Rule it as an accidental suicide by the attacker after killing their victim
>One of my security officers thinks the ninja did it
>Oh I forgot to mention but at some point I had my HoP get the friendly ninja an ID, jumpsuit, and all the info we need to get complete records on him to get him integrated into the crew
>Anyway other sec officer doesn't trust the ninja
>Catch the ninja in the halls fetching something for research
The kindly veteran patiently showed the ropes then selflessly made sure to save you the new guy? Heartwarming.
I think this QM might have been me.

If i'm a Head/QM and there is a new guy I show them the ropes. My first shift as Cargo tech a QM did the same for me...carry on the torch.
>Stop him for a search for weapons and stuff
>Take an advanced energy gun from him, only research can make these
>Explain to him that he can't have weapons
>He says he needs it
>We have a lengthy dialogue and at some point I get him to spill the beans, he needs to get an AE-gun and download a bunch of research levels.
>Our investors and corporate wouldn't be too pleased if the research they funded so heavily fell into the hands of this boarder for free
>Since he's so well behaved I offer to trade him the things he needs for some of his ninja tech
>Start taking off what I can, his neat exosuit is stitched to his body and explodes if taken off of him.
>Get his mask off
>This angers him
>Somehow in the scuffle I remove his ID which gets officer Beepsky (a robotic security officer, basically a roomba vacuum cleaner with a cattle prod attached that hunts down criminals)
>He runs from Beepsky while leaving most of his stuff
>I still have his mask, go to research to deconstruct it for hella research levels
>Have my sec officer catch up to him and ask him if he had anything to do with the bombing in maint earlier.
>He's still pissed that I stole his mask and resists arrest.

>Implying there's a difference
>Start hunting down the ninja to ask him about it
>Patrolling, patrolling, someone finds him in research lab again
>He's printed another AE-gun for himself
>One of my officers shows up first and shoots all the research computers with an ion rifle, effectively erasing all the research
>Ninja is now super pissed at us
>Tase him making him drop the AE-gun
>Ninja suits are robust and let him spit neurotoxin at us and instantly recover from his stun
>He legs it as neurotoxin is his only weapon left
>20 minutes of yakkety saxing later he gets one of my energy guns and has my HoP in my office and is murdering him
>Bust down the door but get stunned in the doorway
>Mime shows up, beg for her to pick up my gun and shoot the ninja
>She just stands outside the doorway and puts me back on my feet
>Several episodes of being knocked on my ass and the mime picking me up later he's out of neurotoxin spit
>Pull out my last energy gun and unload on him
>Ninja dies, my HoP also dies in the blast
>Shuttle is called
>Mime alerts me to "weird PDA messages" via a PDA message
>Get a PDA message from centcomm asking me to bring the nuke aboard the emergency shuttle.
>Find that suspish as fuck as that is very dangerous and centcomm never uses PDAs to communicate with the crew.
>Several others mention getting similar messages
>Tell them not to listen to them
You guys are making me wanna play /tg/ station again.

Is Cindi Kate and Pinku still about?
>1. No.
>2. All of them are I believe.
>3. Convoluted and laggy, very fun once you get the hand of it though.
>4. There is no absolutely "correct" way to play. It all comes down to individual server rules and how many people are willing to hound you for not doing what they want.
>5. Choose assistant as your role, ask around to help people. Use the wiki as your bible and when in doubt Adminhelp. Don't play antagonist or silicon roles until you have a firm grasp of the controls.
Wow, nice violation of most of your laws, bro.
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>Show up to the shuttle
>The nuke is armed and anchored in the cargo bay of the escape shuttle
>Everyone panicing, trying to destroy it on the 3 minute ride to centcomm
>It is of no use
>Shuttle docks, bomb goes off right as we dock
>No one ever suspected the AI.

10/10 dickery AI.
Fukkin' bootiful
A feat worthy of Pete, AI. Well played.
>/tg/station Sibyl
>Be a cyborg doing my own thing
>Changelings happen, run around and catch a few
>The shuttle is called, start moving prisoners from the permabrig to the shuttle
>We take off, suddenly the guy next to me starts doing changeling shit by transforming constantly
>Kill him, space the body, receive a message from an admin that I killed a human that was emoting
>He adminhelped and tried to get me banned because he was acting like a retard
These are the types of players that inhabit /tg/station now. Stay far away.
Ban-baiting's been around forever, see OP pic.

Did you get banned? If not, why are you complaining?
Ooh, did anyone save the story about the furfaggotry from yesterday?
C-cuban Pete? Is that you? THE Cuban Pete? The man, the legend? Have you returned to deliver us all an explosive masterpiece?
I think that it's shitty that half of the community is trying to hound other players for simply playing the game. For No Raisan(the forum dedicated to bans and ban requests) for example is constantly flooded with minor complaints in an attempt to crucify certain players.
It's even worse on goon. I got a month long ban for cuffing an engineer running around with a goddamn tazer and stungloves.
If you act with reasonable suspicion, they the other guy will get banned.

One guy got a few days off after adminhelping when he was killed after throwing tiles at folks.
>be surgeon
>AI goes rogue
>people sheltering in medbay, dealing with a few bleeding cases
>secbot comes in and starts murdering everything
>get shot by a taser in initial wave
>manage to pull self into de-activated cryo machine
>hide until the cyborg finishes killing or putting everyone in critical
>geneticists too
>shuttle called
>and the virologist
>hop out of cryo, half frozen
>save three of the five still-alive critical folk
>two cranial bleeding surgeries too
>manage to get off of station
>with two of the three saved

Fucking hell, I never thought hiding in a tube and just waiting out the massacre would work so well. Go team coward!
You based motherfucker.
My first time involved getting killed too. I was chased through the lightless hallways of the Space Station by some asshole with a Toolbox.

He beat me into unconsciousness, welded me into a locker and jettisoned it off into space.
>be chief engineer
>go to singularity engine
> set it up backwards
>dips hit ai reports me but I removed ai control from engineering
>hop comes down with a laser gun intent on killing me
>hide in locker
>hop gets near me stunglove his crusty ass
>take gun lock hop in locker weld locker shut
>proceed to have a singularity contained inside the station
> welded doors and locked entrances to prevent engineers from getting inside
> close to getting finished start hearing glass getting smashed
> start up singularity before they break through
>hide in locker
>locker is right by singularity control
> it's the cap who broke in who rushes straight to the comp
>when he clicks the console I get out stunglove him lock him in locker
>I finish my project but at the cost of everyone thinking I am a traitor
>round ended shortly after due to the fact that since security was so focused on me they did not get any traitors
>set it up backwards
No Competent traitor is as hazardous as an incompetent engineer.

I mean, every engineer remembers their first catastrophic fuck up with the Singularity.
I played this game maaaaany moons ago, but I was awful at it, I seem to remember spawning as an engineer and welding a locker shut with either a robot or security guard inside, and then I found a researchers dead body and swapped ID's with him before walking into a hallway full of this green mossy stuff...then the ship exploded.
>found one of the regular xeno players on F-list
Did you fuck her acidic pussy raw?
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>did you fuck her acidic pussy raw
One of my friends remembered being captured and had snuff ERP forced on her because Amy Lessen found out my friend was a changeling, and forced her to eat Amy sexually and probosisally.
Something was raw afterwards...
I love this
In my years of spacemans, there are two things I have never done. I have done everything else, but not these.

These two terrible things are setting up Singulos and making bombs.

I can wire a solar in two minutes flat, have basic viro done by five, and get some dank grown by ten, but I can't do those two stupid things.
Aw man, I can teach you about bombs. Also, I apologize for leaving on short notice, and will write up the rest of the story soom, as the thread isn't dead yet.
Alright, so where was I?
>Oh yes, I was heading to toxins.
>To make a bomb.
>A Big boomnink one, to say the least.
>Doctor is dicking around, cutting wires. >Genetics is an alibi for him.
>Security knows I (Geneticist/doctor) is up to something, but don't know what.
>Finish making tank bomb.
>Call doctor to get bomb, initiate plan B
>Plan B is flash ALL the people!
>Doctor skedaddles towards bridge while security is busy with assistants and clowns punching them.
>Hacks doors open, runs towards the captain and HoP, who was on the bridge too, oddly.
>Yells out "For the liberation of Spacelovakia!" over radio and blows the bomb.
>No more captain, HoP.
>I robust Research director when he walk in with my handy surgical saw to the head.
>Head of security died in fistfight, as Someone (Wink wink) had passed out grenades.
>Chief engineer wasn't playing that round.
>Revolutionary victory!
Anyway, I think I'm going to play some SS13 now. Probably just going to dick around on NSS Exodus.
Setting up singulo is easy though

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