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I can't get drunk, I'm tired and I'm bored. Definitely needs more badly written animu/action quests.

***

Your name is Jack and you know the perfect judo throw. Well, you're also a student, probably attending a high school, telling by your uniform. You also recall that you own a dog. That's all you know about yourself.

You find yourself standing in front of the school's entrance. It's a peaceful summer day - the sun shines, it's not too hot and the air raid siren is howling about incoming alien attack.

Sounds way less peaceful, now that you've pointed that out.

>Aliens shmailens. Must be August Fools joke or something.
>GET TO DA COVER. (Edition IV rules state that Schools count as +3 Hard Cover.)
>Hide on the school grounds. Become one with the bush.
>>
>>27261868
>>Aliens shmailens. Must be August Fools joke or something.
Psh, there was supposedly one of them just last month. Even if last month's was real, it's doubtful they'd come over so soon.
>>
>>27261868
Become one with the bush. Aliens will never think to look in the bushes!
>>
>>27261868
>>Hide on the school grounds. Become one with the bush.
Operators operating operationally modus engaged.
>>
>>27261868
>Aliens shmailens. Must be August Fools joke or something.
And if it isn't, then maybe the aliens are hot.
>>
>>27261868
>>Hide on the school grounds. Become one with the bush.
Hit the fucking deck
>>
>>27261868
>>Hide on the school grounds. Become one with the bush.

No time to run around, it's time to hide! Aliens will never check the bushes!

You speed your way to the school's green area, where the students would be having their lunch, if not under alien attack. Yet, you realize the awful truth - there are no bushes. Only few scant trees giving shades. But! A real man never changes his plans!

You encircle the school, hoping that its back will have way more unkempt gardens or south-east Asian jungle.

Instead you see a fully-fledged airfield, complete with hangars. And then they come under fire from alien jet fighters. Looks like the students weren't caught sleeping though - they man AA cannons and get ready to fight the invaders back!

Some school, huh.

"Ey, you there!" You hear from one of the female students running to battle stations. "Don't just stand there in the open, move to cover!"

>Well, the school still offers +3 Hard Cover bonus.
>This tiger ain't no pussy cat. Follow the students.
>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.
>>
>>27262102
>Demand she help us find a bush.
>>
>>27262102
>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.
Knowing them, they probably have a captured alien spacecraft that they can't activate but just so happens to respond to Jack.
>>
>>27262102
>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.

You can be my wingman any time.
>>
>>27262102
>>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.
Yup.
>>
>>27262102
>>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.
Fuck yes.
Let's make shit take place.
>>
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>>27262102
>>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.

Indeed, Top Gun's okay, even if you remember like less than fifth of it. Disregarding student's warning, you move through the airfield, dodging the high calibre bullets fired by alien fighters. Right on time - in the corner of your eye you can see the aliens storming the school's building, zipping down the ropes from some dropships. CQB will ensue for sure.

You've made it to the hangars in one piece. The doors to first two were locked shut. Third times the charm though - doors to the third hangar were also locked, but weak enough for you to kick them open.

And your wonderful flying machine shall be...

Something that looks like if it could date back to World War 2, if the World War 2 even happened. You're not sure, you remember owning a dog at best.

Well, but if it flies then it's good. You get your hide into cockpit. Surprise, surprise, it takes two to fly one.

"Um, this place is off-limits. E-especially during raids." You turn around to see a small girly character in mechanic's jumpsuit. How cute.

>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
>Leave the kid grounded. You might need somebody to tell you how to fly this museum exhibit.
>Maybe it's better to shoot the enemies from the ground. Man some AA with her or at least get a weapon.
>>
Rolled 19

>>27262377
>>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
This is the only option.
>>
>>27262377
>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
>>
>>27262377
>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
>>
>>27262377
>>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_Ew1vRCdCw
It's time.
>>
>>27262469
NOT FUNKY ENOOOOOOUGH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cmo6MRYf5g
>>
>>27262500
A worthy challenger.
>>
>>27262377
>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."

Oh dear jesus christ in heaven, I am laughing my ass off.
>>
>>27262377
>>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."
THERE IS ONLY ONE OPTION
>>
>>27262377
>>"I hope your childhood dream was to play funk, because you're about to become superfly."

She cocks her head at what you've said. Looks like she can't decide if she should be unsettled or amused.

"W-well, I've always wanted to-"

"Great, then it's settled." You gladly lift her tiny body into the cockpit, as the second pilot of course. You didn't take no for an answer. You're the Maverick here.

The bit-sized mechanic open the hangars door with remote control, while readying the plane to go.

"D-do you know how to fly this?" She yells through the roar of the engine, handing you a pair of headphones.

"Top Gun was a good movie!" You answer. Even though you can't see her, you can feel how she's shaking.

Seconds later you're on the runaway, trying to lift this bird up into the air through the hail of gunfire of alien attackers. Apparently getting this antic into the air is quite a happening, because it seems like all of the AAs concentrate on defending your machine.

You are in the air. Now the party's about to get started. Your mechanic tells you that you've got four .50 cals on the wings and she's got twin-linked pair in the back to keep enemies from your tail. Plus, you've got some unguided rockets under your wings.

>It's time to pay back the AA crews for their help.
>Those dropships hovering above the school should be worth at least 50 points each.
>Fly me to the moon and let me play among the alien jet fighters.
>>
>>27262658
>>Fly me to the moon and let me play among the alien jet fighters.
>>Those dropships hovering above the school should be worth at least 50 points each.

Shit, it's a hard choice.
>>
>>27262658
>It's time to pay back the AA crews for their help.
Never let it be said that we were not an eternal bro.
>>
>>27262658
>Those dropships hovering above the school should be worth at least 50 points each.
Unguided rockets aren't gonna be of much use elsewhere. It's just making our ride all fat!
>>
Rolled 21

>>27262658
>>It's time to pay back the AA crews for their help.
First
>>Those dropships hovering above the school should be worth at least 50 points each.
Second
>>Fly me to the moon and let me play among the alien jet fighters.
Third

Because MAXIMUM TOP GUN
>>
Rolled 65

>>27262722
>21
Do you even Top Gun?
>>
>>27262658
>>It's time to pay back the AA crews for their help.
>>
Rolled 71

>>27262722
KUBO, BLESS MY DICE,.
>>
(For future reference, try to decide on one choice or give them some sort of priority order. I'm not drunk enough to be able to multitask.)

>>27262658
>>It's time to pay back the AA crews for their help.

"Alright Ladybug, enough funk for now, it's time for good ol' rock'n'roll!" You muster the worst southern accent you can manage.

You make a loop-the-loop above the airfield, showing everybody how good you're at flying a machine that your grandfather could've used. It's in the genes.

Then you proceed to aim at all of those pesky fighters that bother your AA friends. You tail them, you outmanoeuvre them and outwit them. Barrels, sudden drops, flying the enemies right into the AA death zones. You might be outnumbered, you might be outgunned, but you make sure that your buddies on the ground are doing good.

Your rear shooter ain't bad herself. You can't exactly tell if she hit anything with her linked fifties, but she's making sure that you know where the enemies are at. Also, she monitors your ammo supply like a calculator.

Soon enough, even though the attack is keep going, others hangar open. And honest to god Hornets and F-16 fly from them. How the hell you've ended up with this Thunderbolt rip-off is beyond you, but it's pretty awesome.

"Vas a gud show." You hear over the comms. "But ve vant some too, da?" A fighter in front of you waves his wings at you. Guess you ain't alone now.

>"Volga One, this is Elvis One, mind assisting me in some Day of Independence action?"
>"Sorry Ivan, but they school might get overrun and they are serving my favourite spaghetti today. Don't want it to get spilled, you know."
>Proceed to clear the airfield's airspace with your newfound flyfriends. Your wings might be old, but still kicking.
>>
>>27262867

>"Sorry Ivan, but they school might get overrun and they are serving my favourite spaghetti today. Don't want it to get spilled, you know."
>>
>>27262867
>Proceed to clear the airfield's airspace with your newfound flyfriends. Your wings might be old, but still kicking.

Also, I'm guessing this is a one-off?
>>
>>27262867
>"Vodka One, this is Elvis One, mind assisting me in some Day of Independence action?"
Yeah. Vodka, not volga. Cuz the dude sounds like he's really drunk.
>>
>>27262867

>"Sorry Ivan, but they school might get overrun and they are serving my favourite spaghetti today. Don't want it to get spilled, you know."
>>
Rolled 78

>>27262867
>>Proceed to clear the airfield's airspace with your newfound flyfriends. Your wings might be old, but still kicking.
UNLEASH THE HATE.
>>
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>>27262910
I don't know. Let's not over-think this, shall we?
>>
Rolled 2

Tie between:
>"Vodka One, this is Elvis One, mind assisting me in some Day of Independence action?"
and
>"Sorry Ivan, but they school might get overrun and they are serving my favourite spaghetti today. Don't want it to get spilled, you know."

1 is Independence, 2 is spaghetti.
>>
>>27263000
>>"Sorry Ivan, but they school might get overrun and they are serving my favourite spaghetti today. Don't want it to get spilled, you know."

Vodka One reads your message and give you a thumbs up while flying over your head with his banging Hornet. Damn show off. Your steer yourself toward the school's main building.

"Y-you're pretty good at this" says your rear gunner.

"You're not bad yourself, but it's not over yet. Get ready!"

"H-hai!" You're not sure if you should take that answer naturally or facepalm. Oh well, you'll realize when you reach the ground, preferably in one piece.

With all being said, you begin to nosedive at the dropships that are still hanging above the school's roof. There's only few of them now. But, there's a big one in here. Looks like a slow target, but heavily armored. Guess the most of the fight is going inside the building now.

>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>Let the 50s sing the song of their people.
>There are no brakes in the ramming train. Next station - fat, juicy dropship.
>>
Rolled 75

>>27263172
ARGH choices again
>>Let the 50s sing the song of their people.
Primary
>>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
Secondary
>>
>>27263172
>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
Stay on target.
>>
>>27263172
>>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>>
>>27261868
>>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>>
>>27263172
>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.
>>
>>27263172
>>[ ]Rockets. [ ]More rockets. [X]All the rockets.

The aliens might know what to expect from you, but you sure as hell don't. You begin counting down.

"THREE." You unlock the rocket switches. You can hear an audible gulp from the tiny mechanic behind you.

"TWO." You flip every switch corresponding to its rocket mounted under your wings. You realize with wicked grin that there's no going back now.

"ONE." You place your finger on the big red button.

The fight stops for a split second. The AA crewmen, the jet pilots, the alien pilots and even some of the students fighting inside the school turn their eyes into the sky.

It's not meteor shower. It's not Armageddon. It's not even Superman.

It's your righteous fury in the form of about fifty 127 mm rockets, raining upon your enemies.

The split second passes and you see as your deadly barrage of fire flies toward the enemies above the school.

The dropships? Destroyed. The big one? Destroyed. The roof? Completely obliterated.

Feels good to rain hell, but you're missing something. Something very important, but it's hard to pinpoint what.

"...g-glasses are under your seat."

And then you whip out honest to god aviator glasses. You place them where they belong - in front of your eyes.

"Thanks Ladybug." You give her a thumbs up, even though she probably couldn't see it. Deep down you know she would see it, even if she was on the other side of the globe right now.

>There ain't not rest for the wicked. CONTINUE ON
>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.
>Gloat and taunt the enemies. Let them know what they're up against.
>>
>>27263460
>>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.
>>
>There ain't not rest for the wicked. CONTINUE ON
>>
>>27263460
>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.
>>
Rolled 60

>>27263460
>>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.
And then CHARGE
>>
Rolled 63

>>27263460
>>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.
T-t-time to duel.
>>
>>27262469
>>27262500
Still not Kool enough.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2xJWQPdG7jE
>>
>>27263460
>>You can't party alone, get a wingman or two. Even Maverick needed one. Probably.

You're done with the fireworks, time to gather your party. Thankfully, you won't have to go to the tavern for this one.

You tune in your radio comms.

"This is Elvis One. I'd like to give the aliens a warm goodbye. Any takers on being Elvis Two?"

At first it's silent. The are others still cleaning up the rest of the alien fighters above the airfield, but they can take care of it. Enemy forces are thinning under aircraft and AA fire.

You get some answers.

"With show like that I'd follow you everywhere" says the first voice. It's female, with a hint of some Romanic accent.

"Da, I'll join" the second is that Ivan fellow.

"Round up on me then, we're going high." If they're aliens, they must have a mothership, so it must be high, high above the clouds.

Of course your old plane can't outrun those damn jet fighters the others have. You use your afterburner to gain some speed, but you're still far behind them.

And there it is - the biggest of the bunch. The mothership. The biggest of the biggest. At least from those you've seen.

Still, the hen's not alone. There's plenty of mad chicks flying around.

>Focus on the chicks. You might not be as fast or well armed as the others, but you've got some bitchin' +2 aviators on your face.
>Just blow as much of the mothership you can with the others.
>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course
>>
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>>27263705
You've got some style man. You get +4 bonus to something.
>>
Rolled 15

>>27263816
>>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course
LIGHT UP THE SKY
>>
>>27263816
>>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course
Let's roll.
>>
>>27263816
>Just blow as much of the mothership you can with the others.
>>
>>27263816
>Just blow as much of the mothership you can with the others.
>>
>>27263816
>Just blow as much of the mothership you can with the others.
>>
>>27263816
>>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course
ALL THE WAY
>>
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>>27263816
>>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course
>>
>>27263816
FLY SHIP INTO MOTHERSHIP AND BOARD THAT FUCKER. WE SHALL BECOME A SPACE PIRATE!
>>
Rolled 24

>>27264077
Piracy is pretty illegal, dude.
>>
>>27264139
On Earth maybe.
>>
Rolled 56

>>27264154
I don't think it's more legal in SPEES.
>>
>>27263816
>>Hope rides alone. Let the others get side dishes, while you go for the main course

"Now hot-shots, mind giving those E.T.s a show? I've got some business with that big floating disk above us."

Both of them agree to pair up while you have it your way.

"Um, is it a good idea?" Awww, your gunner's worried.

"If we live through it, then it is" you answer, while lens flare reflect in your aviators.

Recalling Independence Day, you should probably go for that big thingie in the centre of the floating disk. The way towards is sure is hard, but it's nothing that you and your gunner manage. Hell, that Ivan and the other what's-her-name are taking the heat away from your really nicely.

Then the attacks stop. At first you think it might be your aura of destruction casting fear in the hearts (alien have hears, right?) of the aliens. Then you realize - the small fish go away when the big one's around.

"4 o'clock, incoming faaAAA-" you make a hard dive down to evade whatever was coming at you.

Is that another antique plane, but with alien markings? Somebody's totally hamperin' your style.

"We're running low on ammo!" Great timing.

>Forget tango, we're so going flamenco on this one.
>You're awesome, but you're also smart. Tacticool retreat.
>Disregard danger, continue to mothership.
>>
>>27264167
All's fair in love and war.
>>
>>27264189
>>Disregard danger, continue to mothership.
>>
>>27264189
>Forget tango, we're so going flamenco on this one.
>>
Seems like another tie.

1 is for mothership, 2 is for flamenco.
>>
Rolled 1

>>27264332
Aaaand forgot to roll.
>>
If ou rplane starts to lose altitude at any point we are surfing it to the ground.
>>
I wish i had one of those reaction images of a skeleton with the words
"OP will deliver, let's just wait"
>>
>>27264189
>>Disregard danger, continue to mothership.

You take a sharp turn towards the centre of the mothership.

"Get ready my twisted sister, because I want you to rock!"

"W-What?!" Not the most confident answer, but it'll do.

Of course that alien plane follows. Apparently he knows that you're low on ammo. Its pilot is gladly spewing his at you. Your little teammate is giving him all she's got, but the effect is close to none. Even barrel rolls don't help much. Pesky bugger.

It's certain - you won't make it to the mothership's centre. Your wings start to look like a swiss cheese and there's smoke going out of your engine.

The twin-linked rear guns fall silent.

"I'm empty!"

And there's also that.

The enemy pilot must be pretty full of himself, because he stopped shooting at you, just tailing you like an easy pray.

>Your afterburner's still working. Turn that birdie around and have an ultimate game of chicken.
>It's Independence Day all over again. Might as well follow the plot. Ram your plane into it's centre!
>>
>>27264503
>Your afterburner's still working. Turn that birdie around and have an ultimate game of chicken.

Jump onto other plane and fly it instead.
>>
>>27264503
>afterburner
>>
>>27264503
>Your afterburner's still working. Turn that birdie around and have an ultimate game of chicken.
>>
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>Afterburners
Let's show those Alien bastards how a real man plays
>>
>>27264503
>>Your afterburner's still working. Turn that birdie around and have an ultimate game of chicken.

You give out a sigh.

"Well, we did a good job, didn't we?"

Your fellow crewman remain silent.

"It's time for us to part ways." You press the button on the console.

"W-What do..." The plane's cockpit blasts off, quickly followed by your gunner. Remotely ejected seats, how cool. Almost as cool as the breeze of the winds that hit your face. Good thing you've got your glasses.

You turn the plane around to face your opponent. Not knowing what you're trying to do, he circles around, giving you some space.

You are face to face with that enemy fighter. All or nothing - you hit the afterburners.

The wind hits your face once again, but you're not flinching. Eyes on target, nothing can stop you now.

Realizing what you're trying to do, he opens fire. Your poor machine is being torn apart, but it doesn't stop. It keeps going. Right. At. That. Bastard.

Time slows once again. You're less than 100 meters from the enemy. You can see how he catapults himself.

He's trying to get away.

Not on your watch.

You stand on your chair and hit the catapult button on your console.

The human bullet called Jack hits it's target - a well aimed punch, so strong it cracks the helmet's visor of your enemy. The force is great enough to kick him away from his chair.

You both begin to fall down, with the explosion of colliding aircraft as the background.

>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.
>Another visor shattering punch should give him a lesson that there's no escape from you.
>JUST DROPKICK THAT SON OF AN E.T.
>>
>>27264839
>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.

Our training shall finally be utilized.
>>
>>27264839
I'm not sure throwing him will work when we're both in freefall. Just surf him into the ground.
>>
>>27264839
>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.
IT'S TIME TO DEMONSTRATE OUR SECRET TECHNIQUE
>>
>>27264839
Welp, I forgot mah trip.

>>27264870
You know, the judo throw is "PERFECT" for a reason.
>>
>>27264900
Aw hell, why not use it, since we got it?

>>27264870
Changing my vote. Use our Judo mastery.
>>
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>Judo Throw

Lets fucking do it chaps.
>>
>>27264888
I hope it's not the Joestar secret technique, because it'd be pretty hard to run away in the air.
>>
>>27264839
>Almost as cool as the breeze of the winds that hit your face. Good thing you've got your glasses.
IN SPACE

>>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.
FUCK YES
>>
>>27265154
Take a nose dive, that'll increase the distance, pretty much running away
>>
>>27264839
>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.
>>
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>>27264839
>>It's time for your secret technique - THE PERFECT JUDO THROW. IN AIR.

The enemy pilot separates himself from you. The cracked visor allows you to see his eye. He looks at you viciously, yet with some form of respect. He knows it's time for a dramatic battle, while both of you plunge to your deaths.

You're ready. Even while you're falling down, you assume fighting position. Your enemy does the same.

The battle between you two is equal - both of you barely know what to do and you're still falling down. Some blows are exchanged. You decide enough is enough.

One of the few things that you remember and that you consider good and it's not the fact that you own the dog.

It's perfect judo throw time.

You grab the enemy pilot. With all your knowledge, you launch him with your might throw. You know everything about this throw. Every. Single. Thing. Hell, you even know how to perform it on a cow. Not a big problem for you to make it work in mid air.

Both of you are about to fall into the clouds. That's what you needed.

You manage to use the surface of clouds to throw your enemy as if it was a concrete floor. No, you don't know how is that possible. You don't know physics, you know judo.

The enemy pilot hits the cloud's surface with so much force that it creates sonic boom, that dissipates the cloud.

You defy gravity for a little bit more, before continuing falling down.

The enemy pilot, accepting his defeat, points his index fingers at you.

"You're pretty good."

With the last of his strength, he pulls a cord on his parachute. His fall is stalled abruptly. Guess you've got one last chance to say or ask him something.

>"Let me see your face!"
>"What's your name?!"
>[Other?]
>>
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>>27265274
>LET ME SEE YOUR FACE!
>>
>>27265274
I think this is the part where we need to trade names with our new rival.
>>
>>27265274
Man shake
>>
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>>27265274
"I learned it all from watching Top Gear."
>>
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>>27265274
>"See you space cowboy."
>>
>>27265274
>"ALWAYS ANGRY! ALL THE TIME!"
>>
>>27265307
>>27265325
>>27265331
>>27265336
>>27265339

You know what, I'll combine all of those somehow. Writing.
>>
>>27265307
>>27265325
>>27265331
>>27265336
>>27265339
Well done guys, we're completely divided.
>>
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>>27265371
>>
>>27265274
Does Judo have party moves?
>>
>>27265397
Parry moves
Fuck me
>>
Rolled 9

>>27265336
Let's go with this
>>
>>27265419
Too late, dawg, we be doin' it all!
>>
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>>27265274
>[Other?]

Last second, you grab the leg of your opponent. That arm of yours will sting like a crazy tomorrow, but hell, when you want to have a nice chat, you'll have your damn chat.

The enemy doesn't seem to mind.

"First of all, I'd like to thank Top Gear for teaching me all of those sick tricks." The enemy pilot doesn't get the reference. Guess they don't have Top Gear wherever those aliens live. Well, maybe more conventional way. You reach with your free hand towards him.

"All in all, well played sir." That went through - you've received a nice handshake.

"But" your opponent begins "I'm no 'sir'."

The helmet with cracked visor goes off, revealing the face of your rival.

Son of a bitch.

Freaking space elves.

"I'm Kuu Kierto. I hope I'll get a rematch in the future."

"And I'm Jack. With that said, I guess it's time for me. See you space cowboy." You let go, plunging down. Maybe calling her cowgirl would be better.

Well, cool points go to you, but you've still have to land somehow.

"Here's Elvis One. I'd like to point out that I can't fly."

"I can intercept you." Sounds like Ivan.

"AA crew here, we can send you an express delivery of a parachute."

>"Ivan, if you pull this off, orange juice is on me, because we're high schoolers and we shouldn't drink vodka."
>"Major Tom to Ground Control, I'm ready to leave for evermore."
>Screw it, you'll manage somehow.
>>
>>27265645
PARRY
THE EARTH
>>
>>27265645
>Ivan
>>
>>27265645
We can take this shit. Let Ivan blow shit up.
>>
>>27265645
>another space elf quest
At least this one doesn't take itself too seriously.

>[x] whichever option gets him to save us before we hit the ground
>>
>>27265645
>Kuu Kierto
Vittu perkele mahtavaa paskaa, jatka samaan malliin.

>>27265672
This.
>>
>>27265717
How can you possibly try to make space elves into serious business?
>>
Rolled 9

>>27265645
>"Major Tom to Ground Control, I'm ready to leave for evermore."
>>
>>27265645
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFks9A9TCF0
>>
>>27265645
>>Screw it, you'll manage somehow.

"On second thought, just give me a minute or two. I'll manage something."

The comms went silent after that. Now, options, options.

You might know the perfect judo throw, but attempting to do it against whole earth might be going overboard. Plus, as much perfect your judo throw technique might be, you don't use it against non-living and/or non-humanoid things. I mean, throwing a cow is easier than, say, plane or a building.

Oh well, there are always more conventional method.

Like hijacking one of the retreating enemy jets mid-flight. Hell, there's plenty of them.

One dropkick through the cockpit and judo throw later and you're inside enemy jet. This one's much harder to control. Still, you're a natural - you manage to crash it right into the hangar from which you've started. Hopefully, it was empty.

You scramble out of your machine. The fight ceased, the aliens retreated. The students of the high school start to clean up. The planes go back to their hangars, the AAs refill on ammo, the wounded get proper treatment. The sun is starting to go down. Everybody seems occupied, but you get occasional pat on the back and thumbs up.

>You fought. For your right. Now it's time. To paaaaaaaarty.
>Check how the grounders did. You gave the school main as much support as you could, might as well see how they fared.
>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
>>
>>27265984
>Check how our superfly's doing
>>
>>27265984
This
>>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
Followed by
>Check how the grounders did. You gave the school main as much support as you could, might as well see how they fared.
>You fought. For your right. Now it's time. To paaaaaaaarty.
>>
>>27265984
>>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
Followed by
>>Check how the grounders did. You gave the school main as much support as you could, might as well see how they fared.
>>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
>>
>>27265984
Flybug! Dearest of all my copilots! Vodka time, yes Ivan?
>>
>>27265984
>>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
Unfortunately I've to bed, Uni at 0800 and is 0141 at the moment
>>
>>27265984
Check on superfly, then PAAAAAAAARTY
>>
>>27265776
Well Games Workshop is cetanly giving it the good old college try.
>>
>>27265984
>stick around the airfield
>>
>>27265984
>>Stick around the airfield. The AAs and Ivan are alright, and that little engineer earned her wings.
>>Check how our superfly's doing.

Priorities first - it's time to check on the other flyboys, especially your trusty rear gunner and copilot, whatever her name was. Best time to learn it.

The guys and gals that manned the AAs are very helpful in helping you find her. She went straight to her hangar right after she landed. Right now she's sitting at the workbench, with her head on it. Must be tired from all of this chaos.

"Flybug! Dearest of all my copilots! How are you doing?" You give her a solid pat on the back.

She jumps up, as if your hand was boiling hot. Guess the adrenaline hasn't left her system yet. It takes her few deep breathes to calm down.

"G-good I g-guess."

"You guess? We've just fought back an alien raid. If that's not the reason to celebrate, then I don't know what is."

No effect on her.

>"Come on, I know you want to play that funky music again."
>"You prefer to be grounded? You're better than that, you've done well up there."
>"Okay, I admit, I've rushed you into everything. I won't stop you from staying in here as long as you keep the planes superfly."
>>
>>27266324
>"You prefer to be grounded? You're better than that, you've done well up there."
You can be my wingman anytime
>>
>>27266324
>>"Come on, I know you want to play that funky music again."
>>
>>27266324
>"You prefer to be grounded? You're better than that, you've done well up there."

Just bone her already
>>
>>27266364
>You can be my wingman anytime
>Proceed to take her along while we try to pick up chicks.
Huehuehue
>>
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>>27266324
>You prefer to be grounded? You're better than that, you've done well up there."
>>
>>27266398
Yeah, and we try to pick HER up
Imagine that
She has to make us look good for herself
Perfect tactic, no weakness
>>
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>mfw this fucking thread
>>
>>27266425
I don't know if the joke went over your head, or if you're waifuing too hard, but either way, stop it.
>>
Rolled 7

>>27266324
>"Come on, I know you want to play that funky music again."
>>
>>27266324
>>"You prefer to be grounded? You're better than that, you've done well up there."

That seems to move her a little more, but she still doesn't seem sure if she's made for the skies.

Guess it's time for the heavy guns.

You get down, so you're on the same level as her. You make a show out of peeking behind yours, now slightly cracked, aviator shades.

"You can be my wingman any time."

And then her heart went so doki-doki that for a brief moment she switched from funk to 80s speed metal in less than 0.5 seconds.

That should do the trick for now.

"Name's Jack. Yours?"

"I... I'm Sylvia."

"Now Sylvia, there's another big thing we need to do. Are you ready?" She slowly nods, unsure what do you mean.

"Because it's party time and you're invited as honoured guest."

"Eh?"

>Alright, break time's over. Carry her outside and tell everybody how superfly she is.
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>Highway it to school's main and get the celebration going in there.
>>
>>27266695
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.

He had our back. You never leave a Bro behind.
>>
>>27266695
>Alright, break time's over. Carry her outside and tell everybody how superfly she is.
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>Highway it to school's main and get the celebration going in there.

None of those options exclude themselves, do everything
>>
>>27266695
At this point, I'm half expecting us to don an Afro and a white disco suit...
>>
>>27266695
>>Alright, break time's over. Carry her outside and tell everybody how superfly she is.
>>
>>27266695
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>>
>>27266695
>>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>>
>>27266695
Grab Ivan, carry her outside proclaiming to the world how superfly she is, and make our way to the school's main.

>inb4 some faggot MC in an A-class steals our glory as saviour of the school
>>
>>27266791
>inb4 some faggot MC in an A-class steals our glory as saviour of the school
We know just the way to treat those kinds of assholes
>>
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>>27266695
>Alright, break time's over. Carry her outside and tell everybody how superfly she is.
>It isn't a riot if it's two people. Time to hunt the Red October. Look for Ivan and rejoice.
>Highway it to school's main and get the celebration going in there.

"Trust me on this one," you lift her off the ground "sooner or later you'll like it."

You jog outside with her on your shoulder. It's not like she put much resistance. You put her down in front of the hangar, where people are milling about.

"Attention please! This gal here is a copilot of that antique Thunderbolt. She's saved my butt more than once, she has helped saving your butts, she's made for the skies even if she doesn't realize it yet and she may or may not be a brick house."

That got people going, focusing their attention on now embarrassed Sylvia. One down, one more to go.

You take a deep breathe.

"IVAN, MY COMRADE!" You try to summon him, without knowing his name.

“ELVIS, MY FRIEND!” That works. Soon after that, he comes out of a small crowd. Handshakes are exchanged and promises of totally-not-alcoholic drinks too. With that said, both of you lift your copilot and lead the airfield's perssonel charge at school's main, where the ground defence forces were trying to put everything in order. It'll have to wait.

***

That evening the high school rejoiced. Another dangerous day survived, big thanks to its new student – Jack.

Even though he might not know much about this place or himself, he doesn't care. He's surrounded by good people and he can do totally rad things and get school credit for that. Weird problems will happen, but it's alright. He uses equally weird methods to solve them.

- The End -
>>
>>27267261
Yaaaaaayy!
>>
That's all for tonight folks. I'd like to run it more, because it's crazy, but it's getting late where I live. Maybe next time.

Comments? Criticism?
>>
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>>27267261
>>
>>27267261
What about that dog though?
>>
>>27267305
Fucking rad
>>
>>27267305
Good stuff.
>>
>>27267305
Amazing. I'm trying to explain to someone what quests are to someone outside /tg/. This is now the example I will use.
>>
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>>27267305
>>
>>27267317
Next time... Next time.

Also, archieved here:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/27261868/


Plus, I've finally found use for all those funk songs I've kept around for some reason.
>>
>>27265645
>Sako
MUH DICK!
>>
>>27264839
CAPTAIN FALCOOOOOOOON-
>>
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>>27267261
>>
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I've got an evening to spare. Let's try this again.

***

Your name is still Jack. You still know the perfect judo throw. You're also 100% sure that you own a dog, because that bastard woke you up by licking your face until you've got up from the bed. The tag on the big white Lab revealed that his name is "Kirby".

Your high schooler sense took over and you've left your dorm to attend the classes. Right now you're humming "Danger Zone" to yourself while spacing out during maths lesson. The rain is steadily falling outside. Compared to previous day, it's boring.

"Attention please" the loudspeakers announce. "The school is about to come under zombie attack. Please proceed with defence plan Theta. Thank you."

And that's that.

The students seem to proceed with announced plan, though you have no idea what they might be doing. One of your classmates breaks away from the rest and heads towards you.

"You're the new student that caused all that commotion yesterday?" She crosses her arms. "I'm the class president. You've destroyed school's rooftop. You are a loose cannon. I don't like loose cannons. Follow the others to the panic room."

She gives you a cold glare. Must have gave her a good first impression.

>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."
>"...you really want to put down your Top Gun during an emergency?"
>Comply, but sneak away from the group. You are a loose cannon after all.
>>
>>27281492
>>"...you really want to put down your Top Gun during an emergency?"
Milady, the nation needs people who know when to get crazy and I'm just the man for the job.
>>
>>27281492
>>"...you really want to put down your Top Gun during an emergency?"
Followed by
>>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."
>>
>>27281492
>>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."
>>
Rolled 10

>>27281492
>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."
>>
>>27281492
>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."
put on your earphone and sing born to be wild with all your might.

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UWRypqz5-o
>>
Damn 4chan's word filter. Might take a while.
>>
>>27281492
>>"...you really want to put down your Top Gun during an emergency?"
>>"Sorry Prez, but I was booooorn to be wiiiild."

"...you really want to put down your Top Gun during an emergency?" You glare back. After a moment, she gives up.

"Okay, you can come with me."

You jump on one of the desk.

"Born to be wild baby!"

The Prez just give you a scolding look and waves you over.

She leads you outside the classroom to doors labeled as "History Supplies." Inside you find racks full of guns. Time to gear up.

>Bolt-action rifle should do.
>You don't have to aim about aim when you're sporting a machinegun.
>Maybe one of those old German assault rifles, whatever they are called.
>>
>>27282048
>You don't have to aim about aim when you're sporting a machinegun.
>>
>>27282048
>>Bolt-action rifle should do.
>>
>>27281889
>>27282048
>>Maybe one of those old German assault rifles, whatever they are called.
>>
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I hate 4chan word filter with passion.

>>27282048
>>You don't have to aim when you're sporting a machinegun.

The closet is full of antiques, mostly in German flavour. It's not like you're picky, you managed to drive the aliens back in WW2 era fighter.

So you grab MG-34 and plenty of ammo for it.

"What about recoil?" says the president, while picking up MP-44 and combat webbing full of magazines for it.

"I don't know what you're talking about miss."

"Whatever. Listen, I'm the part of Ground Defence Forces, I know the procedure. We will do this by the-"

"Details, details..."

Before she's able to give you a lecture, you can hear the wild roar. The horde has arrived.

You can see the zombies, running crazily towards you through the hallway. Both you and the Prez simultaneously open fire toward them. She is aiming carefully for their heads, making sure she won't waste ammo.

You on the other hand planted yourself steadily on the floor and let your gun mow them down. Hell, you've even thrown in a crazy laugh in there.

Looks like their numbers aren't thinning in any way.

>This gun isn't keeping them away from you. It's keeping you away from them. CHARGE!
>Grab the Prez and perform tactical retreat. Team of at least four sounds better during zombie apocalypse.
>Clearly you don't have enough dakka. Grab another machinegun.
>>
>>27282283
>Clearly you don't have enough dakka. Grab another machinegun.
is there any other answer?
>>
>>27282283
>Clearly you don't have enough dakka. Grab another machinegun.
DAKAKAKAKAKAKAKADAKKAKAKAKAKAKAK
>>
>>27282283
More daka daka daka, we we can't do this singlehandedly, dual weald.
>>
>>27282283
>Grab the Prez and perform tactical retreat. Team of at least four sounds better during zombie apocalypse.
Because this option sounds like we're gonna go get Sylvia and Ivan.
>>
>>27282283
>>Clearly you don't have enough dakka. Grab another machinegun.

[maniac laughing intensifies]
>>
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>>27282283
>>Clearly you don't have enough dakka. Grab another machinegun.

"Well look at that, this doesn't seem to work." You hold your fire and see as the horde keeps going. The Prez looks at you in shock.

"What are you doing? We need more firepower to hold them off!"

"That's elementary, my dear Watson." You answer, rummaging through the closet. You link as much belts of ammunition together and load them into your machineguns. Too bad they aren't fifty cals.

The zombies are getting dangerously close to your defensive position, when you come come out of the closet, sporting two choppers. The Prez glance at you in disbelief.

"What are you-"

"Time to run, cowards!" You pull the triggers.

The recoils almost makes you fall over, but you aren't giving up that easily. Can't be said the same about the zombie horde - it wither away right before your eyes.

About 45 seconds later you're out of ammo, both of the guns barrels are about to melt and the bullet casings are in heaps. Also, you've redecorated hallway. Bullet holes are so this season.

"You are completely crazy. I'll get you suspended." The president dig herself out of one of the heaps.

"No need to thank me citizen, I was just doing my job."

She slaps you up the head.

"We need to regroup with Ground Defence Forces."

>More girls with guns? Sold.
>Ivan will love this one. Search for him first!
>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.
>>
>>27282482
>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.
we set her on the road we gotta make sure she stays funky all the way.
>>
>>27282482
>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.
>>
>>27282482
>>Ivan will love this one. Search for him first!
>>
why are we not singing born to be wild shouting with all our might?
>>
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>>27282482
>>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.

>mfw I didn't have time to post this earlier because fapping
>>
>>27282482
>>Ivan will love this one. Search for him first!
Why not.
>>
>>27282482
>Ivan will love this one. Search for him first!

Superfly doesn't seem like the sort for a zombie attack. Ivan on the other hand it seems right up his alley.
>>
So I've almost completed Superfly option, but I see that Ivan has more votes.

Should I rewrite?
>>
>>27282482
>Ivan will love this one. Search for him first!
>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.
ASSEMBLE THE CREW
>>
>>27282482
>More girls with guns? Sold.
>>
>>27282737
Nooo, let's go find Ivan after Superfly
>>
>>27282737
They're tied, actually.
>>
>>27282737
no
>>
>>27282737
Proceed with what you have.
>>
>>27282482
>Wonder how Superfly's doing. Let's check if she's playing that funky music right.

Right, you can leave your trusty gunner behind. Plus, she better be stayin' funky.

"Hey Prez, you know where I might find Sylvia? She's a brick house, just like the song goes."

The red-head just raises her eyebrow, while changing magazines.

"Also she's short, blue haired, probably an aircraft engineer?" Guess the Prez doesn't speak funk well.

"Well, then I guess she'll be on the first floor, close to the airfield. Don't tell me you'll be going there."

You grab the last MG-34 from the closet and the rest ammunition for it, while answering affirmatively.

"You're crazy! You can't go alone!"

"My, how nice of you to volunteer assisitng me. You are class president for a reason, I see!"

You moonwalk toward the stairs, singing the horus of "Born to be Wild"

She facepalms, but follows. Magnetic personality!

Minutes later you're on the first floor. One of the classes is completely surrounded by zombies. Gunshot and yells are heard.

>SWAN DIVE.
>"President, I'm truly amazed that you wish to rule them away." Push her forward, let her have some fun.
>This hallway could use a redecoration too. Add some DAKKA to it.
>>
>>27282813
>>"President, I'm truly amazed that you wish to rule them away." Push her forward, let her have some fun.
>>SWAN DIVE.
>>
>>27282813
>"President, I'm truly amazed that you wish to rule them away." Push her forward, let her have some fun.
>>
>>27282813
>SWAN DIVE.
>"President, I'm truly amazed that you wish to rule them away." Push her forward, let her have some fun.
combine these. dive together with her. having some fun should form a bond between us.
>>
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>>27282882
>>
>>27282813
>SWAN DIVE.
Gonna Chow Yun Fat this shit.
Firing dual wield while jumping through the air with a flock of doves flying in the background in slo-mo.
>>
>>27282813
>>SWAN DIVE.

what is swan dive though?
>>
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>>27282907
>>
>>27282813
>SWAN DIVE...
...into the best day of your life!
>>
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>>27282813
>"You're crazy! You can't go alone!"
>"My, how nice of you to volunteer assisitng me. You are class president for a reason, I see!"
>You moonwalk toward the stairs, singing the horus of "Born to be Wild"
>She facepalms, but follows. Magnetic personality!
Jack, you charming sunovabitch!
>>
What's this fucked up city we live in?
Santa-Destroy?
>>
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>>27282813
>>SWAN DIVE.

You start a warm-up in the middle of the hallway, while the Prez is trying to keep cover behind one of the walls.

“Could you explain to me what are you doing?” She looks at you as if you were a complete dumbass. What does she know, you have a plan!

“I'll jump right between them.” You make sure that the ammo-belt on your gun is mounted properly.

“Oh come on, you won't gonna do it. You are a loose cannon, but you aren't crazy.”

You give her a final wink.

“Watch me.”

And then you rush toward the horde. Great launch and perfect landing – right in the centre! If they weren't dead, you'd be sure that they were shocked by your sudden appearance.

“I bet you guys have met the Grim Reaper.” You ready your MG.

“I'm his cousin – Jack the Ripper.” You pull the trigger and don't let it go.

However crazy your plan was – it worked. Spinning around, laughing maniacally, you've cut down those brain-eaters, although you've run out of ammo in the process. There was one of them still shambling around though. You considered bludgeoning it to un-death, but a single shot slain it on the spot. The shooter was the Prez of course. She tried her best to look collected, but you could see past the disguise. She's either amazed or completely terrified. Oh well, sooner or later you'll figure it out.

>(1/2)
>>
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>>27283224
>“I'm his cousin – Jack the Ripper.”
oh god this is glorious.
>>
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>>27283224
You knock on the classroom's doorframe.

“This is delivery, I've got one order of crazy for Superfly, also known as Sylvia. I only accept Funky Dollars.”

There are few students in the classrom, but one of them indeed is your little engineer. At first she looks shocked. Then she looks relieved.

“Jack!”

“The one and only! Now, show me your funk face soldier!”

She takes a second to ponder on answer.

“I hope those aren't voodoo zombies, cause I'm very superstitious!” she says cheerfully.

Jesus H. Christ, that was terrible.

“I'll give C+ for Stevie Wonder.” Then you notice that she's holding a Mauser C96 in her hand.

”Is that a Red Nine? I'll trade you my MG-34 for it!”
>Decide if you want to trade or not.

>Ask Superfly on Ivan's wherabouts.
>Confront the Prez. Maybe your crazy is contagious.
>Zombie hunting. There ain't no rest for the wicked after all!
>>
>>27283131
And Superfly's home-town is San Funkcisco.
>>
>>27283256
>Trade it.
>Ask Superfly on Ivan's wherabouts.
>>
>>27283256
>Trade
We've got two guns, why not share the wealth? And by wealth, I mean dakka.
>Ask Superfly on Ivan's whereabouts
>>
>>27283256
>Trade only if we get two of them. You gotta double-wield those fuckers.

>Look for ivan while you keep on partyin'!
>>
>>27283256
>Ask Superfly on Ivan's wherabouts.
WERE STILL ASSEMBLING THE CREW
>>
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>>27283305
>We've got two guns, why not share the wealth?

The previous two barrels were made unusable after the DAKKA. The one your sport now is completely new one.
>>
>>27283357
Oh. Well, trade it anyway. Superfly could use the firepower.
>>
>>27283357
Trade. Find a close combat weapon along the way. We Funckissar now.
>>
>>27283394
We don't need a melee weapon. We've already got the PERFECT JUDO THROW.
>>
>>27283414
if shitty anime has taught me anything, it's that being a black belt doesn't help against zombies
>>
>>27283394
>>27283414
We called ourselves JACK THE RIPPER. We need to find electrified katana
Also
>perfect judo throw
If there's a giant zombie outside I swear to god
>>
>>27283446
We Judo Threw an alien pilot so hard it created a sonic boom.
>>
>>27283572
While standing on a cloud.
>>
>>27283572
and we did it all in mid-air.
>>
>>27283631
After crashing our plane into theirs and punching them so hard their helmet was damaged.
>>
>>27283256
>>Trade it.
>>Ask Superfly on Ivan's whereabouts.

Not taking “no” for an answer, you yank the pistol out of Sylvia's hands and give her your MG-34 for it. Her small frame will be just perfect for battling the gun's recoil. You also mention that she'll have to get some ammo for it, but she says that this classroom has separate ammo locker.

“Wouldn't you know where our Ivan comrade might be?” you ask her while replenishing ammo.

“I think he was supposed to have Improvised Explosives around this hour. They are usually held on the second floor.”

And you were stuck with maths. Lucky Ivan.

“Oh, it's the president!” says Superfly, noticing that the red-head also is refilling her combat webbing with magazines.

“Oh yeah, she's tagging along with me.”

The Prez slaps you in the head.

“Or me with her. We're still figuring this out.”

Lock and loaded, your rag-tag group once again move to the stairs. You don't know the school's layout at all, but that's what you've got the Prez for. This time it's going far more smoothly. Fewer zombies are running around and you've got more firepower. That Red Nine fits your hand like a glove.

And then you encounter a zombie that has 4 meters long arms, which he's dragging behind him. He has yet to notice your group.

The only person stopping you from opening fire is the Prez of course.

“Don't just jump in there this time! That one clearly is something else.”

“Way to be racist Prez. It's the inside that counts, not the outside!” you counter.

>Today's menu: Swiss cheese.
>Let's be sneaky. Deploy cardboard box.
>There's more than one staircase in this damn school. Make a detour.
>>
>>27283673
>Let's be sneaky. Deploy cardboard box.
we're doing this man
>>
>>27283673
Judo Throw.
>>
>>27283673
Cardboard box. We can be tacticool as well as awsome.
>>
>>27283673
>There's more than one staircase in this damn school. Make a detour.
>>
>>27283673
>>27283673
>And then you encounter a zombie that has 4 meters long arms, which he's dragging behind him. He has yet to notice your group.
PERFECT TARGET FOR THE PERFECT JUDO THROW!
>>
>>27283673
>Let's be sneaky. Deploy cardboard box.
>>
>>27283702
>>27283739
RULES OF NATURE
>>
>>27283817
Zombie-copter time!
>>
>>27283765
Changing my vote to Perfect Judo Throw.
>>
>>27283673
CARDBOARD BAWKSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE SHALL HIDE FROM OUR ENEMIES IN CARDBOARD BAWKSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>
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>>27283673
>>Let's be sneaky. Deploy cardboard box.

You decided that it might be wise to listen to the Prez once in a while, but you still had to avoid Daddy Long Arms somehow. While Sylvia and La Presidente were debating what to do, you started investigating your surrounding for something that you might use. In the supply closet right next to the stairs on the first floor you've found a small stockpile of cardboard boxes. Sadly empty.

Wrong. THANKFULLY, empty.

You lay down your BRILLIANT idea to the girls. The Prez thinks you're completely out of your mind. Superfly thinks the same, but supports your idea. The democracy has struck again! But there's only one more thing to decide...

>Sneak separately, one box per person. It's common knowledge that cardboard boxes are herd animals.
>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.
>>
>>27283921
>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.
this is clearly correct
>>
>>27283921
>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.
we have to keep the girls close in this dark environment. very close.
>>
>>27283921
>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.
>>
>>27283921
>>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.
>>
>>27283921
>>Get the biggest box you can find and get everybody underneath it. One moving box will draw less attention than three of them.

Seconds later, your little group is moving into the hallway, where the long-armed zombie is lurking. Close to the wall, as far away from the mutant, you're slowly moving forward. Your camouflage would be perfect, if not for the fact that the biggest box you could find is still pretty small.

“Stop pushing!”

“You're on my side of the box!”

“...”

“Jack, I swear on everything that's holy, if that was your hand..."

Once or twice it seemed as if the zombie was attracted to the noise your group was making. Saying still for the time he was looking at you, basically made you invisible to his un-dead eyes. Stupid zombies. After that sneaky episode, you've finally made it to the Ivan's classroom unnoticed.

“A walking box? Is that a delivery of some kind?” You'd recognize that thick accent everywhere.

You dramatically take off your disguise

“It's not delivery, it's Di-” You're interrupted by slap on the head.

“Like I'd let you make that stupid joke!” says the Prez.

You see Ivan, sitting at one of the desks, surrounded by Molotov cocktails and pipe bombs. That will earn him some extra credit for sure.

“Elvis! Dearest of all my comrades! I hoped of running into you! Take what you want friend!"

>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
>Deep down you've always wanted to be a plumber. Pipe bomb!
>You've got a second to catch your breathe. Want to aks/say something to somebody? [Specify.]
>>
>>27284406
>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
FIRESTARTAH
>>
>>27284406
>>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
Everyone knows zombies hate fire and healing. Our next stop, on that note, should be the clinic, to grab all the pills.
>>
>>27284406
>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
>>
>>27284406
>Molotov here!
>>
>>27284406

Combine them both
>>
>>27284406
>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
goes well with our Mauser. we are a gangster with style now. not a shitty hipster gangsta. they are not to be confused.
>>
>>27284406
>>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!
Let us honour comrade Foreign Minister Vyacheslav Molotov and his food drops.
>>
why not both?
>>
>>27284406
>>Who said we didn't start the fire? Get a Molotov!

"Grabbing a Molotov!" you exclaim.

"Petrol bomb!" says Ivan.

"P-pipe bomb here!" says Sylvia.

"Pipe bo- Wait, why are I'm even saying that out loud?"

"Come on Prez, that's just how things work. Anyway, Ivan, I hope you've got a gun?"

"Da," he reaches under his desk for his pump-action shotgun "I have a boomstick."

The loudspeakers come to life once again. Gunshots can be heard over them, before somebody grabs the microphone.

"Attention students. We've received a report of a..." at this point a beastly roar is heard. Several gunshots later and the sounds cut, replaced by some dramatic music set on loop. How fitting.

"T-that sounds ominous. M-maybe we should check on them?" Superfly looks concerned, but that's rather normal thing during zombie invasion. Unless you're named Jack, that is. La Presidente points out, that the school's radio is located on the first floor.

"I've set up a rope down in case this place would get overrun." Ivan points at the window behind him.

>So far stairs haven't failed you.
>Zip-line time!
>Let's split up gang! [Specify who goes where.]
>>
>>27284764
>>Zip-line time!
>>
>>27284764
>Zip-line time!
>>
>>27284764
>Zip-line time!
>>
>>27284764
>Zip-line time!
We took the stairs up. Going down them is just repetitive.
>>
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>>27284764
>>Zip-line time!

Ivan goes first. Then it's our funky sidekick. Then you. And that leaves out the red head. She looks very unhappy with the way of going down you've chosen. Maybe she's afraid of height. Sylvia's trying her best to convince her that it's easy.

Finally, the Prez attempts to slide down the rope. She fails. About halfway through, her hand slips, leaving her plummeting down.

Moving on your reflex, you're fast enough to get to her and catch her on time.

"Listen Prez, I like you and all, but people will start talking if they see us like that."

That quip earned you a furious blush and a slap on the cheek. Then she stormed off with Sylvia inside the school.

"She totally has the hots for you" says the Ivan. You're about to follow the girls inside, when they come back running.

"TANK!" they yell in unison.

Silly ladies, zombies don't drive tanks.

The giant humanoid bust through the wall right behind them, sending the flying debris everywhere. Way more intimidating mutation that that long-armed fellow.

>What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?!
>>
>>27285299
Time for our perfect judo throw.
>>
>>27285299
MOLOTOV!
>>
>>27285299
Fucking JUDO THROW
>>
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>>27285299
JUDO
THROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW
>>
>>27285299
JUUUUUDOOOOO THRROOOOOOOOOOW
>>
>>27285330
Changing my vote. JUDOOOOOO
>>
>>27285299
JUUUUUDOOOOO
>>
>>27262377
>>>You know what, Top Gun wasn't that bad. Fish out something from those hangars.
Ages late-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yK0P1Bk8Cx4
>>
>>27285299

roll d20 for grapple?
>>
>>27285721
This is the PERFECT judo throw, we ain't gotta roll shit.
>>
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>>27285772

kinda because
>>
>>27285772
So perfect, we could even Judo Throw a cow.
>>
>>27285299
>>PERFECT JUDO THROW

"I've got this!" You run toward the charging tank.

"Elvis, what are you doing?! Come back!" You can hear Ivan behind you, but you pay him no heed. The beast is about to go down.

"You idiot, you have a death wish?! Stay away!" The Prez tries to draw you away from the crazy idea of yours. She trips and falls on the ground. The only person that's relatively calm is Superfly. She knows.

"It's okay president." She says as she joins fallen red-head.

"How this can be okay? He'll get himself killed!"

The time starts to slow. The beast is right in front of you, running like a enormous gorilla made out of hate and rage.

"President, have you heard how he beat the alien ace pilot?"

The hulking 2 meter beast is few steps away from you.

"Because I've seen with my own eyes when I flying down on a parachute."

"W-what was it?" The class president watches in shock as the tank bring his massive arm overhead, readying a gigantic punch.

"The Perfect Judo Throw."

>(1/2)
>>
>>27286025
Before the beast's punch could connect, you catch it's hand by the wrist. You know how to do this. It's all in your head. You might be crazy and not the sharpest light bulb in the box, but when it comes to that one single throw, you work like a computer. Brute force won't do much against technique and knowledge.

You manage broke beast's balance. You launch it off the ground. That's the first step.

You proceed with the throw. You pull it's by its arm with such force, that it gradually catches on fire - from wrist towards it body. That's the second step.

You execute the throw completely. The tank hits the ground so hard, that it collapses the ground underneath it, but that's not the end. The force applied is so high, that it proceeds to create a crater. That's the last step.

The Perfect Judo Throw is complete.

You're standing above the flaming remains of the beast, right in the middle of the crater. At the edges of it you can see your team, witnessing the aftermath of your throw.

>Want to say something?
>>
>>27286042
i am lucha?

or just in a bad coomentator voice "K.O."
>>
>>27286042
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hkdrau0EzYQ
>>
>>27286042
Say nothing. Merely flex and pose.
>>
>>27286042
The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.
>>
>>27286042

Penetrating hit, fuel tank ruptured, tank destroyed.
>>
>>27286042
KAAAAY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>27286042
Gimme a hell yeah!
it's stone cold steve austin time
>>
>>27286179
Yes
>>
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>>27286042
You breathe out. Job well done, but something is missing. You'll keep your mouth shut, to go along with "silent badass" character for a change, but the silence is unnerving.

Perfect time for school announcers to wake up. The loudspeakers once again come back to life. A little cough is heard but after that it just is:

"KAAAAAY-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Hell, they even added that cool echo effect to it.

Then you can finally throw out that cheer. Perfect or not, performing that throw always makes you happy. You crawl out of the crater. First to greet you is Ivan.

"Penetrating hit, fuel tank ruptured, tank destroyed. Great shot comrade!"

You proceed with amazing high five. Even Superfly manages to give you the warmest of hugs for that and even a peck on the cheek.

The Prez? Still lying at the edge of the crate, still in shock. You couldn't hear that, but she totally said "that was so hot" while blushing furiously.

There are still zombies on the school grounds though. According to the announcers, there are still plenty of them inside the school.

>Get that Red Nine of yours ready, because you won't stop 'til you get enough.
>There's still plenty of time. Get to know your rag-tag team. Who knows when you'll team-up with them again.
>[Other?]
>>
>>27286464
>>Get that Red Nine of yours ready, because you won't stop 'til you get enough.

Also make a Star Wars joke. Red Nine standing by, bitches.
>>
>>27286464
>Get that Red Nine of yours ready, because you won't stop 'til you get enough.
go around doing your funky dance singing your funky music. Superfly MUST join since she is our apprentice in the ways of funky.
>>
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>>27286464
Actually, I'll wrap it up here, seeing how it slowed down. Plus, it's getting late in here.

Thanks everybody for participating in this craziness, hopefully it was as fun for you as it was for me. Any opinions, questions or criticism?
>>
>>27286702
it was fun. just keep it ridiculous and enjoyable.
>>
>>27286702
Glorious.
>>
>>27286702
The over-the-top crazyness and hijinks work really well in this quest. If you had it try to be serious, with highschool kids fending off invading aliens/zombies/whatever, it'd be less jarring than PERFECT JUDO THROW.

tl;dr over the top action works better in an over the top setting, keep it up.
>>
>>27286702
You sir are a scholar and a gentleman. That is all.
>>
>>27286042
"Judo-n't mess with the best"
>>
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>>27288431
>>
>>27286464
Find a chainsaw, or a katana, or maybe a chainsaw made of katanas
>>
>>27291811
You mean a machine gun that shoots chainsaw katana's right?
>>
>>27292141
What.
>>
>>27296671
Knifegun.
With Katanas.
>>
I just came funk.
>>
>>27299714
Spunky


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