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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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We all have them. Hell, some of us might even be "That Guy" in our group of friends. Either way, post your stories and experiences!

I'll start

>New campaign
>Specifically say no psionic characters for this world for fluff reasons
>Everyone is fine with this
>Awkward silence
>I chuckle thinking he's just being "over the top" and silly
>Glare of utmost SRSBUSINESS
>Goes into diatribe about how D&D is all about fantasy and escape from limitations
-"That Guy, what were you wanting to even play as?"
-"I was going to be a druid, I'm just pissed for everyone else!"
-Awkward explanations all around that literally no one had a problem with this rule
-He's not getting it. Discussion drags out for another hour.
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Did...did someone recreate the pipe from Silent Hill by laboriously applying paint to a brand new pipe?

Wouldn't it have been easier to just find an actual rusted pipe?
I think it's perfectly reasonable to not want to touch rusty shit.
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Worse. Someone tried to make a copper tube look like an iron pipe when the places that sell copper tube sell iron pipe in the next aisle over.
Well, I'd sorely hate to be stabbed by a rusty blade, but just touching rusty shit isn't so awful. Stains your hand a bit, maybe, but that's what they make soap for.
Bleah, fuck that. It'd stain everywhere.

I mean, you can simulate blood all over your clothes by slitting your wrists over them but that doesn't mean it's a good idea either.
So is this like...a pipe thread now?
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Check it, best pipe in world.
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That DM and his girlfriend. Yes.

>D&D 3.5

>DM's GF comes into the game with a character he "helped her make"
>pulls out bow
>everyone but her collectively groans as she takes four dice to roll damage
>it's level four
>attempts to explain to the DM that this isn't how enhancement bonuses work: failed
>horse animal companion who passes saves that the rest of the team fails
>horse is so infuriating one of the players actually quits* and other two conspire to put a bridle or something on it
>Horse passes all saves on spells cast by the Wizard and its AC proves too high for the barbarian


>Barbarian gets struck by an otyugh, contracts some disease
>cure him
>add "something extra" to the potion(I said mutagens, at that point I hardly even cared where the campaign went)
>barbarian gets permanent +2 strength
>thus began my wizard's adventure with alchemy. The barbarian can now do a thing like Greed from FMA at will, and the ranger has been grafted with succubus bits to get some of its abilities(as you can probably guess, this wasn't my idea)

>DMGF's PC approaches mine
>requests whether I could do some transmutation for her
>sure, why not
>"can you transform [my horse] into a human? Like, permanently?"
>"Hey, but I'm only level 10. That sort of magic is a bit too hardcore for me."
>"Don't worry, I bought an appropriate scroll from [NPC].
>DM says I can cast it with an appropriate spellcraft check
>okay, whatever...
>The ritual is, of course successful, and the horse turns into an ubermensch that either is a gestalt or has some custom "good at everything" class. Because he quite literally is.
>did I mention he constantly bilocates for some reason?
>not that I complain - the DM said the ritual made my wizard "closer to the Weave" or something like that. Now he knows all level-appropriate spells from the PHB, and casts like a sorcerer.

*I suppose it is proper to add that my made-in-10-minutes sociopathic wizard from the Underdark also weighted in on that.

That was painful to read. Are there support groups for this kind of pain?
Why would it stain everywhere? When you're using a tire iron, is it your habit to stop and caress your clothes and body all over? Is this some new fetish I've never heard of?

I am not going to roll to acquire it. I want none of this.
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Sometimes the DM can be 'that guy', though.

>Searching a 'gypsy' camp for a woman we've been hunting
>Don't find her, but suddenly spot a familiar face
>Its the same guy who had randomly attacked our character earlier in the game
>Walk towards him, when suddenly I get clubbed around the back of the head for 8 non-lethal damage (about a third of my HP)
>Freak out, thinking that I've just walked into a shitload of his men
>"I tumble out of the way, trying to get to the man so I can take him hostage!"
>DM looks at me weird. "Okay?"
>I make six successful tumble checks, and get close enough to put a dagger to the guys throat.
>"Call off your men!"
>DM: "What? I don't have any men."
>DM laughed at me for tumbling past six random market shoppers
>"Why are you laughing? I thought I was under attack."
>DM: "No, you just got hit by some random, thats all."
>mfw gypsies hate me for no reason
Rolled 3

But thou must
We had "That DM" once, met up through some website called Meetup, had a local group specifically for my area where DMs and players could organize meetings and stuff. It's like craigslist for fa/tg/uys.

Anywho...most of the time it's really cool, and then we get gems like...

>Meet up with group for first time
>Old retired army vet, marine on his way to retirement, young air force recruit, bridge troll who smells of cheeto dust and cat litter, recently graduated physics major, his strange "girl"friend who looks like showers would make her combust, and myself
>DM is old army vet, incredibly level headed and well organized as compared to most DMs
>Old marine is pretty chill, but still super macho in your face kind of guy, rolls a ranger
.Air Force guy plays as a sniper themed rogue
>Physics major plays as super druid
>Bridge troll plays as "I'm so evil I shit bats" tiefling sorcerer
>Troll's girlfriend plays as vampire tiefling, never shuts up about how hot her character is. "Subtly" implies is troll character's slave
>And I'm just sitting here playing a brawler fighter
>Queue every turn for troll and she-troll being awkward and absurdly "subtle" sexual "innuendos"
>Troll-dude gets pissy when DM tries to play along with she-troll constantly going on about how hot her character is, NPCs and stuff hit on her or acknowledge it
>Glowering pissy man-child rage, super volatile the whole night each time it happens
>Soon the other guys now do it just to fuck with him
>I'm staying out of this
>I pull she-troll from the jaws of death, rolls nat 20 on an untrained heal
>Bridge troll finally shits self in unconstrained rage "WHAT THE FUCK BRO?"
>"She was going to die?"
>Goes into mini-rant about how I showed him up in front of his lady
>She-troll is practically gushing in her panties from her troll lover and myself "fighting over her."
>DM tells them to leave calmly at first
>Troll shoots back we're treating his "girl"friend like she's a piece of meat.

This is already pretty good. Moar!

>Try to ignore the comment
>Old marine guy is in a mixture of bewilderment that someone can be that fucking stupid, and laughter
>Air force guy is awkwardly pretending to not be here/texting
>Druid mentions that she's the one who constantly advertises her character as scantily clad
>Troll stands up all dramatically. Knocks chair over.
>ohshit.jpg here we go
>Calls us all no life virgins and losers for trying to "steal" his girlfriend.
>He leaves, takes her with him
>Group becomes greatest group in the world

It's nice when the problem solves itself. Now it's something we laugh about between adventures.

Though I suppose evil never rests, because now the druid has become the new "That Guy" with his constant trying to shoehorn in advanced modern physics and stuff into the game. Gets confused and has to give 20-30 minute physics and nature lessons if the DM makes even the smallest error about something. Even trivial things like why the mushrooms in the dungeon where glowing, what chemical process could make that happen when all they had to feed off of was "blah."

Latest "That Guy" moment from him was his anal vexing when the DM denied his attempt to create batteries out of salt and other things due to the fact that such technology is something you'd not just pull out of your ass on the fly.

"But it's simple science to do this!"
Just tell him to shut his overly-intellectual mouth.

Its fantasy, and he needs to get into the spirit of it.
current group is rather neat, all of us is a bit that guyish but none of us is a game ruiner. Summoner has about the emotional display of a wet rag, but still does her darndest to get her character in really emotional situations which makes things awkward. Bard is the same, but he's made his character virtually useless in combat which gets frustrating. Monk overexplains things and overplans everything, and then just rushes in and gets his ass kicked anyway.
I get excited and loud, and I'm a terrible loser. But I try my best.
Supernatural special ops campaign, playing a semi-secret unit specialising in occult warfare.

That Guy's character:
>7ft brick shithouse, adolescent power fantasy
>Long hair, despite it being against regulations
>Insists he's the squad leader
>Thinks leadership consists of shutting out others, blustering/threatening/throwing tantrums when they don't do what he says.
>Insists on spending all his money on black market weapons, despite the unit having a blank check from the DoD.

Anyway, here's where things went bad.
>Cultists have taken hostages, squad sent in to rescue them.
>That Guy insists on taking white phosphorus grenades.
>Actually not too unreasonable, a lot of occult enemies are vulnerable to fire.
>Squad goes in, takes out the cultists with no trouble.
>That Guy throws WP all over the hostages.
>The entire group has played Spec Ops: The Line, and are horrified/disgusted/dumbfounded.

Coming up, how the GM dealt with him.
>Quality Goblin Real Estate
>For Rent
>See Office inside for details
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Keep it comin.
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>>That Guy throws WP all over the hostages.
>>The entire group has played Spec Ops: The Line, and are horrified/disgusted/dumbfounded.

Pic related.

>>Supernatural special ops campaign, playing a semi-secret unit specialising in occult warfare.

Would play the FUCK out of.

>have a min-maxed monk in our group who is pretty much capable of handling all the dungeons, monsters and puzzles on his own. >Took some multi-class feats for assassin, tons of trained skills and other wackyness.
>DM realizes that ramping up the difficulty wont really punish him, it'll just punish the rest of us who made characters for the sake of fitting in his story.
>Next session, Monk is getting constantly shitty rolls forever, a horrid string of 1's in combat, starts seriously bombing his skill checks.
>Monk gets super killed by running off on his own like he normally does due to horrible fucking rolls
>Seems to take it in stride, despite not so subtly hinting the DM did this all on purpose
>Returns next session with the exact same character rolled up, incredibly minor cosmetic differences.
>Gets pissed when he sees we sold all of his old character's gear.
>Gets pissed that the DM tells him to make a new character
>"It is a new character!"
>It's the exact same thing, feats, skills and all
>DM doesn't budge, especially for such a flimsy story reason "It was my twin brother who I was looking for, for so long"
>Looks to us to support him on it
>Try to suggest other class ideas
>Goes from cool player to total whiny pants shitting man-baby in about twelve seconds
>Doesn't leave, stays out of spite and plays MTG with other people
>Constantly makes pissy remarks about how shitty his "old group" "was."
>Eventually store owner tells him to leave because he's being a bitch
>Never see him again
should've kicked his ass, bruv.
Isn't that why people hate gypsies to begin with?
wow, what a knurd.
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> Laughing at a player because you can't communicate information properly and don't understand the rules

These people piss me off no end.
Decided to do a relaxed, low-lethality adventure with an oriental fairy tale feel, and asked my players to made a character. Ended up with:

- Human drum-focused bard, control/damage dealer with sonic spells
-Tengu sorcerer heavily focused on fire spells, with a demonic graft on one arm
-Twin Enchantresses, one with a permanent Detect Toughts. Both focus on fear effects.
-Ratfolk trasmutation specialized in animating objects, walks around with origami-like constructs
-Kitsune with the leadership feat, cohort is a CN catfolk (mostly used for roleplay)
-Human monk, with a dragon ancestor. Prone to sleeping in the most awkward situations
-CN halfling sorcerer, ice-based spells. Superiority complex.
- Druid who loves frogs. Also uses earth and water-based attack.

After the 30 seconds it took me to recognize what they did I just bursted into laugh and went with it.
Full That-Guy party, was awesome. They ended up being the terror of the realm
I don't get it.
Our party is planning to burn their camp to the ground, and mass murder them.

I'd have more problems with this (as I'm a Good character), but the motherfuckers stole my horse.

I've lost two horses this campaign, and I won't let it go unpunished much longer.
>cohort is a CN catfolk (mostly used for roleplay)
>Totally Not A Concubine
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They're playing touhou expies.

>That Guy gets called into the Commander's office.
>Raises a huge stink about having to relinquish his weapons beforehand.
>Eventually get them in there.
>"Why?" asks the CO.
>"They saw us in action. They knew too much so they had to die," says That Guy, smugly.
>CO goes silent.
>"Did you read your orders? You were told to rescue the hostages, and instead, you kill them? And on top of that, you killed them with White Phosphorus, which I shouldn't have to tell you is enough to have you on trial at the Hague!"
>That Guy starts bitching out of character, saying he's too important, too valuable, they can't do shit to him, etc.
>Insists he can get away with anything because he's such an awesome soldier, and the unit needs him.
> GM goes back into CO voice.
>"Let me get this straight. You are calling yourself an asset to this unit? You, who have just caused the failure of this unit's first public mission? You've been bad for morale, shown complete disregard for discipline, and you have the balls to stand here in my office and call yourself an asset?!"
>That Guy's character gets sent to the brig.
>Throws a bitch fit and ragequits when the rest of the squad doesn't break him out.
>Group wants to play some post apocalyptic zombie survival game.
>Sounds pretty cool
>Few nights in
>Neckbeard friend of a friend comes up to me and says the fysics I use are not realistic.
>Next session, brings the Zombie survival guide and insists I use this as reference.
>He throws a fit and leaves very angry
>Shows up next session, gets mad because I say he can't play.
If I could get another group together, so would I. I loved that campaign, apart from That Guy, obviously.
Do it! I want in!

Or at least give sauce, I want to bring it to my own group.
Just.. so fucking right.

What happened to the other characters? I assume the group was reformed under another name, yes?

Sweet, delicious, nougaty justice.

I have a group similar to that, but it's set in a more steam punk'esq setting around the early 1900's just at the onset of WWI
The campaign just kinda died out shortly after. Shame really.

Don't have the original game docs any more. I'd be happy to help re-construct it though, if I could find another GM.
Called it.

Doesn't make it any less beautiful.

Tell us more, please!

>Captcha: cipilys certainly

Captcha agrees.

>Totally Not Cheeeeeeeen
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OK, since people seem interested, my e-mail is in the field.
Please bear in mind, I'm not much good at GMing, so we'll have to get someone else to do it.

Am I "That Guy" or cool if I make a gnome wizard gadgeteer that winds up eventually putting together what is essentially a tank?

Not if your GM is ok with it and everyone is having fun

Depends, are you going to go out of the way to waste the party's time and twist the DM's arm to cater to your needs?
Depends on what you do with it, really.

What makes a "That Guy" primarily, is one who fucks with the party for no justifiable reason, or throws tantrums over nothing. If the players are cool with you building a tank, build that motherfucking tank!

If the DM and players aren't really for it, don't. Party comes first.

I could DM for this game. I already have a campaign all written up and ready to roll for this specific kind of setting.

This, basically. If you're not expecting the GM to cater to your special ideas and aren't fucking the game up for the rest of your players? You're probably fine.

Basically, all you need to keep in mind is "is everyone having fun?" If the answer is yes, you're probably okay.
cool. gm was cool with it, but there were two out of 8 that hated it, one of which was a dbag about it (The warrior and the rogue, though the rogue just hated it cause he had to scout farther ahead xD)
Awesome. Shot me an e-mail and we can get things arranged.
That looks like painted plastic tubing.

Haters gonna hate.

Make a dirt bike or buggy for the Rouge and he'll be happy.
A few with a guy I regularly game with. Here's one story.

>Playing PFS online
>Online GM wants to run The Waking Rune
>I and the rest of the party know we're not optimized enough for this and are all going to die, but figure we might as well do the GM a solid since it's his birthday and his birthday wish is to run the scenario; besides we got the resources to get resurrected.
>Party consists of me playing a necromancer, another guy playing a life oracle, a pregen bard, and that guy, playing alchemist
>First thing as soon as we get into the temple we get jumped by some fuckpowerful outsider in the darkness
>After a tense fight of us all almost dying and almost shitting our pants, we finally manage to beat it when I pull off an insanely lucky roll to hit it with Fear
>After we kill it, I, being the necromancer, decide to raise it as a skeleton, not so much because I think it'll be a strong skeleton, but more of the fact that I'm terrified that it'll be brought back to life since I'd heard stories about that (yes, I know this is shameful metagaming, and I apologize. Turns out, on the difficulty we were playing, that couldn't have happened anyway).
>Anyway, That Guy starts asking about the outsider's special abilities
>Says that it should keep its SLAs and Special Abilities due to some shaky rule interpretations, which I personally am unsure about
>Gets into an argument with the GM over whether or not my skeleton can still use its special abilities
>I say that I really don't care whether or not it can and that it's a moot point
>Am ignored
>Argument derails the game for like 20 minutes
was thinking about that. unfortunately, school is in full swing, and thus, not much game time. It's pretty hype though. I can type out 'The Plans' and put them up on here for anyone that want's to try it

E-mail is sent
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Here's another story. Before I begin, though, I will freely admit that I have done my fair share of That Guy related things, so I guess we deserve each other.

>Playing a game of PFS
>That Guy is GMing
>Run into some guys that we really don't wanna fight
>I as the face character say, "hey, I'll try diplomacy!"
>GM says no, it takes 10 rounds
>I relent
>Fastforward to another game
>I'm GMing
>That guy is playing a necromancer who is really big on bringing intelligent undead back to her country to live
>Party opens a door and comes across some skeletal champions
>The skeletal champions really want nothing more than a good fight
>That Guy starts to roll diplo as the skeletal champions are rising out of their graves
>I want to say he can't because it would take 10 rounds and the champions are going to attack them in 1, but I go with it
>Player rolls well on diplomacy, basically asking the champions to come with them
>Now I'm thinking I've already bent the rules in their favor, but these guys want to fight. Figure instead of having them fight to the death, I'd have the skeletal champions tell the party to show them they're strong enough to fight under, and have them surrender after a few blows
>Init is rolled, necromancer command undeads them anyway
>Chews me out on having them attack
>"But it's what the pdf says, that they're itching for a fight!"
>"Well you should reward creative solutions!"
>I am at a lost for words.

Looking back on it now, what I should have done was have them give a sense motive that the guys would surrender after awhile, or perhaps been more clear in what I was trying to communicate, or really just let them bypass the encounter entirely.
Upset because you're so mentally diminutive that you need to be spoonfed information because you're unable to think?
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To be fair that's a fairly realistic, if hilarious event and reaction. Group is on edge because gypsy camp. Even more on edge because of previous encounter. If I'm reading it right it sounds like a pretty fun event.

You see a guy who attacked you in the past.
You get hit by something from behind.
Assume it's the guy and his men
Flip the fuck out and jump on the guy.
Turns out it was just a misunderstanding.

Stranger things have happened.

Not that anon but I sent you a email as well. Strum if you see this let me know what you think.

Another, from a few different sessions

>GMing a game of PFS
>That Guy is playing a sorceress who worships Calistra
>In one game in which the characters are adventuring in a sewer, That Guy's character does nothing but cuddle and kiss on another player's character
>A lot
>Other PC is not into it, she continues nonetheless
>Eventually have to tell him to cut it out 'cause it's creeping me out.
>Another game
>That Guy playing same character
>Party is trying to track down some ghoul, currently are in a library looking for info
>That Guy's character has been tasked by her boss to inconspiciously slip a book into the library's display
>He says he finds a librarian, pulls him into a nearby closet, seduces and fucks him, then gives him the book then he puts it on display for her.
>Didn't even roll anything or ask if the guy was into it or if he succeeded or not, just flat out told me he did.

It was a pretty minor thing since I would have probably given it to him anyway, but it just really pissed me off that he told me that he pulled it off without me as the GM even getting to give any input in the matter. If that makes sense.
Outsiders return to their plane of origin and leave no corpse to reanimate, anyway.

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This one was planar bound, if I recall correctly. I dont' remember the exact circumstances, but there was something special there that kept the outsider's corpse present after it died.
why does he take his shirt off first? What purpose does that serve? I mean if he just ripped it off hulk hogan style sure, I would get that, but he just sort of takes it off causualy then slaps some shit.
>Guy hits me from behind as I'm approaching a guy, who previously attacked us from behind
>DM laughs at me for thinking he had backup

The DM actually doesn't provide a lot of information, and especially when its your own made up setting, you really need to be providing info.
Didn't want blood on the fresh white T
He doesn't want the other dude to be able to grab his shirt to jerk him around and maneuver him, bro. That might be some taggable aspects right there, son.
What information? The DM is not obligated to provide your character 360 degrees of vision. Learn to fucking roleplay.

I asked the DM if my character saw anyone after being hit, and she said no. I assumed that I was under attack, and tried to get to the guy who was likely in charge, so I could hold him hostage.
The DM laughed at my tumble check, saying I was paranoid, and then admitted to having a random NPC hit me for no reason.
Also, its pretty fucking hard to stay in character, when I get given barely any info about the setting.

Here's my mental image of the scenario.

>DM: You get hit to the head for 8 nonlethal from behind
>P: (Totally a sneak attack, since there's that guy who did it before) I tumble to that guy and take him hostage.
>DM: Yeah, okay. (Doesn't give a flying fuck why.)

If this is the case, then both are a bit at fault. DM had someone just attack them for no reason whatsoever, and disappear into the crowd. The player acted logically, and the DM laughed about it. But the player didn't explain why he did so, giving the DM a chance to redeem himself.
I did explain to the DM why I did it, actually. She kinda just shrugged and went "Okay."

Then the DM acted pretty That Guy-ishly. I mean, a random attack which stops at one punch with nobody to blame, whilst a likely suspect is just in front of you? Wut. Maketh no sense.
Also, since my character was moving out of a (most likely) threatened space, the tumble check was very justified.

Also, 8 damage is kind of a lot as well. I don't know what the hell she hit me with, come to think of it.

Did you say this or him?

If your character is most likely to move away from harm, instead of turning around to confront it, then you're completely right.

I don't know. An elbow? I mean, it _can_ knock anyone out just like that, if it came unprepared from behind to the head. But I don't know. Sounds like the DM was just fucking with you for shits & giggles.
I mean, 1d3 damage would be an average person winding up a fist and belting you full-force in the back of the head. 8 damage is comparable to the same person running you through with a longspear. How could you take 8 damage as anything but an all-out malicious attack?

Don't know the system, so I can't tell.
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According to two of my party members I'm That Guy for trying to recruit a werewolf and rehabilitate her to not be chaotic evil. I should have instead outright killed her according to them.

To expand, my alchemist bound his life to the werewolf to save her from dieing from a magical disease. Now that they share life force is wants to keep her around and curb her evil tendencies/savagery. My alchemist himself resolved that he is not taking away her free will (i.e. slavery=evil) but instead giving consequences to her actions and imposing law. Which in turn is hypocritical to his chaotic good alignment, which the alchemist is more then willing to get over for the sake of the greater good. His reasoning is better a hypocrite then a callous monster that would let someone helpless die, evil or not.

I'm trying for a character arc that will let him expand and develop a new outlook on things. But that makes me "That Guy" according to our undead smite-all-evil-always paladin.
A random guy hits you and you are not supposed to be paranoic?

I mean, if a random guy on the street hitted me while aproaching another one that had some troubles with me before I would surely assume they are together, why the hell with some random guy would hit you with enough damage to knock down a normal person? Just because? did he rolled listening or even some for of sense motive for you?

I mean, I would be upset at my DM to pull something as random and unnecesary as a guy hitting me for subdual damage from the back just because, not only that, half my characters would have already killed him, because that is a direct threat.
That just sounds like an alignment argument.

"That Guy" is a term for unyielding players that hate teamwork and complain constantly.
I'm guessing the Paladin might think he's keeping the werewolf around for yiffing purposes.
> local hobby store
> runs mtg, table top and pen and paper rpgs
> New game posted up on the stores board
> know the DM so sign up
> 5 of us in total (plus DM)
> everyone know everyone
> Unfortunately we get a THAT GUY and a Mary Sue we cant say no to because they 'know the owners'
> our DM is a goth chick
> instantly that guy feels he needs to offer his advise on running a game because she 'clearly needs help' (Goth chick has been running and playing Call of Cthulhu since high school)
> Goth chick announces she is running her own home brew horror game along the lines of Event Horizon/ Doom (her words)
> once again that guy tries to offer her 'advise' that horror games dont work well, mary sue doesn't look happy as its clear this game wont have many times to shine
> Goth chick calmly says if That Guy thinks the game wont work he is free to leave
> that guy gets angry and ends up saying something along the lines he will stay in the game to make sure she 'doesnt on anything wrong'
. goth chick ignores hm and just covers the basics of the system we will be using etc and we plan to meet up at her house to help with the atmosphere ( a crowded game store doesnt exactly convey tension and dread)
> Goth chick helps us write up our characters, basically a salvage crew who are trying to salvage wreckage fro man old space battle orbiting a large gas giant.

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This gunna be gud
They truly are the worst kind of people.
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> a week later we arrive at Goth's house and go to her basement which is actually rather spooky
> only lights on the table are a lantern and her laptop with music and sound cues
> she gives us the setting, ancient space battle took place, wreckage is valuable but people believe it to be cursed. Our salvage team is nearly broke and hopes to make some money from salvaging a large wreck.
> our characters are, me a young computer tech, Barry an engine specialist, John our security, that guy who is an atmosphere tech and also 'secretly the real captain' (I swear Goth chick just let him do it to shut him up) and mary sue even managed to make a marry sue 'widow who salvages to make money whilst hiding from some syndicate who wants her because she is an heir to another syndicate' (once again, Goth chick probably just went 'fuck it')
> so we board the wreckage with an eerie soundtrack playing and Goth chick using a loud airlock sound effect as we enter as she describes the docking area we just entered
> Despite Goth setting an eerie mood to the rp that guy just shrugs it off and begins cracking 'jokes' that seem to mock Goth girls style of play ("Wow these airlocks are ancient, They are so loud I can barely think. What did the designer want the ship to be spooky?")
> despite being our atmo tech he doesnt fucking do his job so Goth chick has to describe that despite being without power the ship seems to have breathable air.
> we decide to head towards the engines to see if we can find out why the ship has breathable air despite having no power ( I should mention my character is using a portable device to provide enough power to the doors to open them)
> as ou party progresses we find weird stuff going on. one hallway's air smells of copper and rotten meat even though nothing is showing up on the atmo detector That guy is caring....which we had to fucking check because he is to busy ruining the fucking immersion with jabs at Goth girls Dming.

hate pricks like that. continue on though

>hopes it has a happy ending where the dickhead winds up beaten to shit
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>that guy
i would have already bitched at him, and or slapped him in the mouth

Me: This strange this is happening.
A player: How is this strange thing happening? It's scientifically inaccurate
Me: Magic. Fuck you.

Life as a foreverGM... Magic explains everything bro. Even in a futuristic setting with no magic at all, magic explains everything.
> after a while we arrive at the engien room where Goth chick changes the track to this odd humming noise of the engine
> Barry investigates the engine but find, despite the humming noise being a clear sign of activation the engine is not on. In fact it isnt even there, the internal components are missing.
> My character tries to access the ships ship wide computer system and finds that power is working but we have no idea where the source is and we have no energy signatures
> John looks around the engines and finds an the engines power coils have a strange red hue about them
> he reacheso ut and fidns the red heu is actually organic. Suddenyl goth chick makes him take a reactio ntest and the organic matter splits to reveal a gaping mouth full of bone's for teeth.
> John passes but Goth changes the track to this loud ship alert and announces in a voice worthy of SHODAN "Intruders detected in engine room. Responce team to engine room"
> to make shit even more freaky she plays a screaming track over the alarm as the power coils all expose mouths that are screaming
> over all of this Goth chick says we hear the sound of something approaching from one of the hallways. We fucking book it with my character slamming the door behind us and locking it as something slams into it.
> now we are all disturbed by this but none more then mary sue who didnt mention she can stand horror.
> unfortunately, sigh, that guy is still cracking 'jokes' his newest one being about John nearly having his hand bitten off by 'teeth filled vagina'.
true story. leaned in real close, and real quiet like, and been like "Leave shitstain. you're ruining the game for everyone else."
>Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indiscernible from magic
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My group has an aviation buff, and he gets properly autistic about every little thing related to aircraft if it isn't 100% accurate down to who took a shit the day it was designed.

> GM says we'll be dealing with some air combat
> Says it'll be quick
> 4 hours later
> i fire a missile
> i fire a missile
> i fire a missile
> i bank and fire a missile
Poor Mary sue, I hope she makes it.
I'm hoping mary sue freaks and punches THAT GUY in the face.
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>Sometimes the DM can be 'that guy', though.

The term is "That GM." And yes. It happens a lot. Far more than it should.

Forever GM here. I was recently reminded why I can never return to the other side of the table when I tried to play in an acquaintance's Deathwatch campaign.

>mfw "none of you are Tech Priests, you can't open that door even though it has a giant green button that says 'openatus' on it
>"You're just too stupid."
>"You'll have to wait forty-five minutes for a Techmarine to be brought in"

It wasn't even a special fucking door. It was just separating one half of the hallway from the other.
if its for a cosplay it's perfectly reasonable to want a fairly accurate looking version, but equally valid to not want to carry a length of iron pipe around
> Goth chick keeps her composure and continues to describe the 'something' hammering against the door.
> I advise the party we move as I have no idea if the ship's doors will open on their own
> John pulls up an old schematic of the ship and finds we are in a hallways that can lead us through the dorms and back to the docking area we came in at.
> So we head off, the screamign and siren dying away replaced once again by the eerie backing track
> we finally enter the dorms
> al lthe bed sheets are covered in blood that still drips and is wet despite hundreds of years passing. The sheets are hung from the ceiling like a maze, billowing in an unfelt breeze (Goth chick cues up the sounds of sheets blowing in the wind.)
> no one of us want to go through the 'blood sheet maze' but we have no choice as the only other option is going back to the engine room.
> John, the only one with an actual weapon goes in first with Mary sue behind him, then me, Barry and That guy at the rear
> as we pass through the sheets seem to reach out and slap against us wetly, leaving blood on our clothes and seeming to cling longer then they should have
> eventually John spots something moving through the sheets and catches a glimpse of something 'that movesl iek an ape but with no skin and far to many heads'
> John takes a sanity check and fails leading to him entering 'fight or flight' mode (basically the character panics and either fights if they are cornered and runs if they can)
> John fireso ff shots frantically at the thing he saw and runs through the sheets maze 'walls' and falls to the ground after three wrap around him.
> goth chick asks him to make some rolls and hands hi ma note
> we manage to folow John through the path of fallen sheets and peel back the sheets around him to find John is dead, everything but his bones 'melting into the sheet staining the sheets an even deeper shade of red, a mocking face like stain caught forever in a horrified scream
and unfortunately i must pause my story as I have to go pick up someone from the airport....at 3am...in the dark....fuck why did I tell this story now?
You're in Australia?
F5! F5!
Must have more!
A great writer, and even greater DM.
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Hurry back.
Oh, you bastard. You'd better post the rest up later.
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Her campaign sounds fun, and like something I would totally participate in.

>Event Horizon/Doom

So Dead Space. Do want.

It sounds like she just needed to nut up and tell That Guy that she doesn't want him in her campaign. He's ruining it for everyone. One should be able to appreciate a GM that goes the extra mile with atmosphere and sound effects, but it seems clear his intention from the very start was to just shit up the game. Get him out.
She hot though?

What system did she use? CoC?
>Game is literally shit from the first sentence the DM says.
>Just stay completely silent, there's no plot or setup to what's happening, so I'm gonna watch the players who apparently care less about that stuff than I do try and roll with the DM's expectations of taking the retarded intro seriously.
>In a tavern, for some reason, in some city. No players know eachother, but apparently we're a party before we've even spoken.
>Apparently there's a dancer on stage we're supposed to be concerned about.
>Blah blah blah, someone tries to rough her up.
>She jumps on a table and pulls out a bow and puts and arrow in it.
>Wait, what? Where the fuck did she get a bow? Was she just dancing on stage in full adventurer gear?
>Who gives a fuck, this games is fucking awful.
That sounds more like an inexperienced GM in need of some pointers than a That DM, to be honest.
And to think, we had a nice pipe thread shaping up here...
You know who takes criticism well? No one. Especially not someone who is convinced their special setting is great, yet uses the word "generic" to describe literally every single NPC.
tell him to seperate IC an OOC knowledge
I don't do RPGs quite yet but I have a That Guy story from FNM a couple of weeks ago

>3rd round opponent
>tall lanky asshole playing a Simic deck, whatever its a decent deck
>10 minutes in I played Pacifism on an Experiment One he fielded, the damn thing had 5 +1/+1s and Trample, his best asset in play
>he makes a pissy groaning noise
>i turn the game around to my favor next turn, play two Favored Hoplites.
>he counters one, ok no prob. I run 3 in my deck anyway.
>he fields a fucking Elusive Krasis on his turn, I just take it in stride and Path To Exile it.
>drew Ordeal of Nylea next turn, attach to my hoplite.
>Ok I swing for 3.
>"you mean 2?"
>no, 3. Favored Hoplite has a Herioc ability, and I comboed that with Ordeal.
>"you can't do that"
>yeah, I can. read the card.
>after reading the card, he still calls the fucking judge over, judge rules in my favor.
>he groans again, he can't do shit with his creatures because of Hoplite's heroic (prevents all damage as well)
>i won the first game of the round, he responds with "thanks for cheating, I could have won if you hadn't lied to the judge"
>I didn't cheat, the card text is legitimate
>"sure whatever"
I don't know what to tell you. There are plenty of people who'll accept critique if it's delivered with social grace of someone who isn't fucking 12-year-old.
>mfw gypsies hate me for no reason

So the DM ran gypsies exactly as they exist, and you call him a "THAT GUY"?
I applaud the dm for being accurate.
Sounds like you're your group's That Guy, anon.
I've not had much experiences with "That Guy" but I have had a lot of experiences with people trying too hard to be the group clown or the group bad-ass.

I was listening to their ordeal. It was a group of nWoD Werewolves and one of them owned the Motorcycle dealership where they were. Some demons rolled in to attack them and some of the wolves and demons were throwing some of the motorcycles back and forth.

This idiot girl kept shouting "Stop destroying my motorcycles!" Like, repeatedly. The group is fighting for their lives and she's just constantly berating them for throwing her motorcycles around and blowing them up.

This same retarded girl loved telling people that she kept a wrench on the end of a chain in her backpack. Eventually, I just told her how utterly useless that was as a weapon because there was no way she was getting that out of her backpack, untangling it, and getting it swinging in time to stop an elbow from hitting her face that started 75 feet away.

She kinda got quiet for a few days and I haven't seen her since.
aaaaand that sums up why I'll never attend an FNM. The 2-3 warhammer tournaments I manage in a year are enough to make me want to go mad sometimes.
Oh dear god. That's terrible.
So... without actually doing or saying anything, he's "That Guy" for sharing an observation with us?

You just went full potato.
gypsies aren't the scum of the earth people make them out to be
"OK, you can have your modern-day battery... On one condition. Make me a Fusion Power Cell. What? But it's simple 30th Century science to make one!"
If you've got a table full of players having a good time, and one guy taking up table space and refusing to participate because he thinks the entire thing is shit, then yeah, he's probably the group's that guy.
Things like "Game is literally shit from the first sentence the DM says." suggest that he probably wasn't giving the GM a fair shot and him apparently not saying a word during the session certainly don't help his case. But you're right in that calling him That Guy without more details is premature.
Settle something for me, /tg/. Who is the that guy in this scenario, I can accept it being my fault, I just want an opinion.
>I'm playing a Drow Monk in a group with a Elf Rogue and Human Paladin.
>Minotaurs are being dicks to a fellow drow, busting up his spider.
>Paladin wants to try and be diplomatic, I'm cool with it.
>Minotaur attacks Drow, activating my kin-ship. Attempts Monk shizz to neutralize him.
>Paladin doesn't want conflict, uses Command on me to run away.
>Instantly bummed. I contest with the DM, not wanting my free will priviledges taken away.
>DM impartial, let's it happen on the logic I can just run back afterwards.
>Paladin tries to be diplomatic, Minotaur gives him lip.
>Paladin won't stand for that - attacks him.
>Minotaur bro's come to back him up.
>I rush back and diplomat the fight, "His bruise will heal, the spiders leg will not".
>Situation averted. I'm still a bad guy for trying to protect my kin in the first place.

>invited to join game by good friend, says the DM is a bit weird but it should be fun
>Because I'm a dirty optimiser and don't want to wreck the game have rolled up a PF monk themed with a chaotic good DRUNKEN-LEG-TO-THE-FACE JUSTICE fighting style and got it OK'd by the GM beforehand
>warning flags go up as I see the posters on the GM's walls, mostly of wrecked urban landscapes - somewhat disturbing, but not something to quit just yet
>Other players include a magus using improvised weapons, friend with gnome alchemist, pacifist tengu buffcleric (who didn't do anything, ever, mostly just twisting her hands in dramatic agony of having to help end people's lives but not actually acting to do anything apart from heal up after battles and occasionally give buffs)
>lock heads with the magus' character off the bat, as he's very dismissive of someone fighting unarmed, and says even improvised weapons are superior
>GM has a sly smile on his face but guides us gently towards plot hooks

>Magus and I take to the forefront fighting mad cult in wrecked smithy village, actually make a fairly good team
>until he "accidentally" hits me with a charged spell while we were under the cover of darkness
>due to shocking grasp takes me down to about 1/4 health in a single blow
>"oops, bad swing with my pipe"
>(he'd had his 'improvised weapon' enchanted at 3rd level)
>growl a bit, but it was in character, so don't do much
>Lots of the enemy are picking up random utensils and doing ridiculous damage with them when they hit me; though I'm able to trip a lot of them and take AoOs from them standing getting worn down
>suddenly, BBEG hits us with some kind of sleep spell, we all go down (despite my buddy rolling an 18 for the save)
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>Drow and a paladin in the same party

>wake up tied to an operating table
>listen to BBEGs speech about how I should not have walked in here unarmed, and now must pay the price
>magus making rolls in background, hope for a split second he's going to do something to free my character
>magus pops up behind me, apparently also a cultist
>starts stroking my naked monk's (male) body with his goddamn enchanted pipe
>says that I'm too good a companion to simply be killed off
>and then starts using magic surgery in conjunction with the BBEG
>to turn my monk into a goddamn cyborg female
>except using pipes
>pipes for arms
>pipes for legs
>pipes replacing now female genitals
>pipes down goddamn throat
>listen in horror as all of this is explained in detail by the GM
>stand up as the magus pulls down trousers (in game, so very fortunately) and describes the gleaming metal pipe replacing his own dick
>start to leave when I hear a CLUNK from under the table, as if something hard and metallic just hit the underside of it
>nope the fuck out of there

fucking pipes

fucking people who fuck pipes

Refusing to participate? What the fuck was his character supposed to do? From the description, he was in a bar surrounded by people he'd never met and there was a dancer on stage. You know what people do in that situation? They drink their beer and watch the show.

What the fuck would you expect him to do?
Or it's an objective statement that, after looking at the series of events, shit went down-hill at the very first sentence. I've watched movies that I'd describe the same way, despite having given them a fair chance.
Spoken like someone who has never encountered a gypsy, ever.
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That just sounds like a shitty group.

On the bright side: suddenly female techpriest?
>pipe thread general?
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>that much flesh
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Goddammit I laughed.
>Playing in a rules light fantasy game
>That guy rolling around a dwarf
>Rolls decently but never manages to hit anything because enemies always up up a better defense
>Rolls snake eyes so falls into a spike trap knocking him out
>Loses his strength
>Gets hit by a spell in the first round against the big bad so he cannot do anything
>End up leaving the game during the fight

The twist is, I was That Guy at the game.
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>defending kin
You should have been grateful that a possible competitor was removed for you.
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I just started playing with a new group, and I'm terrified that one of them is that guy, but I'm more terrified that I will become that guy in the group.
We're playing Pathfinder, and some of them have some experience with D&D, so they have a relative grasp of the rules, but nowhere near my own. As in their DM who they consider one of those 'encyclopedic knowledge' kind of guys has played for only 7 years to my 13. He has DM'd once every two weeks since Pathfinder came out compared to my DMing Wednesday/Friday/Sunday every possible week since the end of BECMI.
And I'm not saying his knowledge of the rules is flawed, it's just clear to me that it's not as much as what I know. And his PC's, my new fellow PC's, are, like most semi-new D&D players, absolutely totally sure that they know all the rules, and that their interpretation is correct.
But this is a group that doesn't know what the SRD is. And who don't know how to use class archetypes. They seem to be trying their best, but the potential 'That Guy' told the rest of us with a satisfied tone during character creation that he had a 20 AC Fighter, and I chuckled without looking up assuming it was sarcasm, but to my shock, another PC replied with, "20? Wow that's crazy."
And I look on my sheet and see a 23, before Mutagen, before Combat Expertise, before Barkskin, and I know I'm going to have to explain every detail to him, and I know they're gonna think I'm a powergamer, but this is....this is baby shit. After explaining that I had a 23, and expecting the response to be, "Oh how'd you do that?" so that I could assist them, the potential That Guy just said something to the effect of, "What? You can't beat me!" And I just sort of...looked back at my sheet and started working again.
I'm not sure if he's serious. And I'm not sure if he's That Guy. And I'm not sure if I'm a huge Rules Lawyer/Powergamer/That Guy myself.
I'm really trying to be nice...
Well to be honest, your attitude toward the game is stat-centric instead of roleplay-centric. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but consider what the other players (aside from That Guy) are trying to get out of the game. If they're also going into the game with a stat-centric, combat-centric mindset, then go ahead, but if they're looking for actual roleplaying, you might want to hold back from that.

You're not That Guy, but you have the potential to be if you don't watch yourself.
Email sent.
That GM and me breifly being that guy
>First time playing vampire
>Players play a standard assortment of vampires, I play a tremere and another guy plays a Nosferatu
>Nos is damn good at being invisible and uses it all the time, never does anything too obnoxious with it, just frequently invisible
>Fight some vampires, they all have auspex 4, fight some more, all of them have auspex 4, fight some more auspex 4, point out to the gm that many of these vampires come from clans that don't even get auspex. Dm says any clan can take most disciplines they just have to train in it (which is technically true)
>After about the 8th time we met a group of them I got fed up and pulled out a stupid broken combo I found in the base book (basically using one power to increase my generation really low and another to get a shitload of blood points by eating a roll of bloody lifesavers) and became cain for a minute and made a mockery of the fight
>GM praises me for my ingenuity
>Feel very very dirty, never played again
If he wants, tell him it's not a contest, and if you want you can help all of them out, but really, it's not a contest and it shouldn't be a big deal.

ALTERNATELY: talk to the DM about it and see if there's going to be a problem if you're too high power a character.
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There is still hope!
DM is always "that guy".

I tried setting fire to a wooden building that was of great importance to the story, and pulled off all the appropriate checks without a hitch. Then when I go to leave the building "the bells chime signalling someone has left the building" something that wasn't there before. And then there was suddenly a high wall that hadn't been there previously, and the area was now full of guards even thoug hthe fire had only barely started.

It's a typical case of GM butthurt.
That's definitely a fair point I hadn't considered.
It's possible they're just aiming for fun roleplay and not much more, and if that's what the game's really about, I have no problem just keeping the statistics as a secondary priority.
But the group has one of those rogues...you know the ones. And I really don't want my stuff stolen from me in the night. So I felt like I HAD to be powerful to like...scare them into leaving me alone, or even just to listen to what my character had to say in general.
We also have a Drow in the party with the same kind of issue.
I'm worried if I completely prioritize roleplay, then they'll take advantage of my character's weakness and I won't have any fun.

I'm finding it difficult to find the balance between fluff and crunch with this group. All of my other groups make it relatively easy. My guess being because there are no 'That guys', and their knowledge of the rules is pretty excellent.

I guess I should just tread lightly in all cases and try not to jump to conclusions. I just want to have fun, and I don't want to be the guy that craps on THEIR fun, y'know?
Why would you burn down the building? In spite of the GM, or is there some legitimately good reason?
>But the group has one of those rogues...you know the ones
Remind him that this is a team game and he should roleplay a character that doesn't have problems acting as part of a team.
That's metagaming, you're a bad player for thinking like this.
If that's the case; be a bro, while also being fucking invincible. Don't get mad at people stealing your stuff, but instead be a help to their shenanigans.

I'd suggest a kind of stoner alchemist who is cool with everything and also minmaxed out the ass.

That should ideally leave you in a position to help them out with their fun while not getting you involved; though be careful you don't aid the possible THAT GUY screwing up everyone else's fun.
Character trait, each building I entered I would secretly roll a d10 and on a 1 had to attempt to burn it.
Did you discuss with the DM that you'd do this? If not, some of the responsibility for your predicament lies with you.
>wah wah things aren't going my way!
At least you admit you were that guy and now that you have left the group can have fun.

I agree. But, if it was something you and your GM had discussed previously, he should have been aware of the risks.
>Tell them to play a different character
Well that clearly won't work out.
>That's metagaming.
Maybe, but the characters we're making are level 5 and have traveled together before. Maybe if we were level 1 and didn't know each other, I'd get the 'bad player' comment, but very few sane individuals would travel with someone intent on stealing their things and not try to prevent that from happening over the course of four further levels.
This is kind of where I'm leaning. I'm trying to be overpowered, sure, but as long as I'm still brewing potions for team mates and pulling our asses out of fires, it's still mostly okay, right?
Overpowered is not an issue. Overshadowing is. You can be the most overpowered support in existence with no problem as long as the rest of the party gets in the spotlight too.
Yes, yes they fucking are.
my DM said "it's fucking magic. if you get one billion gold you can have science" then we all laughed and every time one of us tries to be clever WITH THE POWER OF SCIENCE some other party member asks where the billion gold came from.
That wasn't the point. The fact is that the GM responded to the aggression by changing the world and ensuring I didn't go unpunished.
>alpha testing made up system
>players in a dungeon
>most get warped to a giant multileveled maze in the Hellplane
>that guy character
>a spy, treating the campaign with literally no seriousness
>pulls stupid antics and gets pissy when anyone interferes
>he's just playing a vessel for his own humor, not a character
>decide to force in some character development, so maybe he can work off of it
>opportunity finally arrives in the Hellplane
>demon invades his mind
>gives him multiple personality disorder
>his body now inhabited by four spirits of people he murdered 300 years ago (plot of campaign is about reincarnation)
>he doesn't know he myrdered them, or who they are
>a paladin, two commoners, and a ranger
>tell him that every now and then, he'll slip into one of those personalities
>he seems excited for the idea
>oh good, he can get some good Roleplaying in
>I won't even make the curse last too long, just enough time for him to get an idea of how he wants to play his character seriously
>test out the personality
>rolls the paladin
>oh god where am I etc. ensues
>other players play off of it
>yes, finally
>not even three fucking rounds of combat pass and he's already turned the paladin personality into a guy who tells war stories at whacky, inappropriate times, and usually involve mention of Vietnam
>like, actual real world Vietnam

I think I might give up trying to tell a serious story with these people, I might just wind up going full comedy on this one.
>play a pyromaniac without consulting the GM first
You sound like a That Guy regardless of what the GM did.
>But this is a group that doesn't know what the SRD is. And who don't know how to use class archetypes.
Yeah you should sit down and talk to them. Those two are just weird.

Bloody hell my players found out about SRD before we even bought the starter box.


I wouldn't be so hard on you. I consider dnd/pf to be a very stat-centred game, you have to be good at what you do to succeed. The important thing to me is that the choices make sense. And that you play your characters personality, if one believe your characters choices have to be bad for it too work one has become too stat-centred.

I had my face Rogue start of with a level of Infiltrator so he could use both cha and wis to bluff and diplomacy, before taking any rogue levels. I played this of has him having learned a few tricks from the clerics of Norgorber, but never really got religious enough to pursue a actively clerical career. I played him as the most disgustingly false and shameless character you could imagine, giving no fucks about the lies and strife he spread.
>That wasn't the point.

Oh wow you two were made for each other, but I feel bad for your group.
>GM gets upset at a player action so changes the layout of a city from what it is known to be

I'd say the GM is wrong in this instance.
That doesn't make the player any less That Guy.
I don't think you know a "That Guy" is.
Do you? By what metric is a person who makes a pyromaniac without asking the GM first and who randomly burns down buildings is not a That Guy?
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>having to ask your GM to do something

your GM needs to be able to adjust and adapt on the fly and present real-world consequences to players doing shit.

in this instance, if the burning was truly 'random' why not then suppose that the character has a history of doing that? It'd make sense for people to be on his tail, and if the character didn't leave the scene quickly, he'd be sniffed out and found by the authorities that'd been hunting him for a while
There is a large difference between obeying traits and acting deliberately to soil the GMs plan. You're letting your metagame get the better of you, just like That Guy also does.
>having to ask the GM's permission to do something
That's not how it works. Get a better GM.
What kind of game do you play that the GM isn't allowed to know your character concept - not to mention have access to your full backstory and character sheets - beforehand?
That would allow the GM to tailor the campaign around your characters rather than the world. It's a bad habit to get into to have the GM know every facet of your characters before the game starts. It also makes it more interesting for him, since he can learn about the players.
The only information a good GM should need is the race and class of the characters involved.
>Oh, by the way, my character is the princess of the elves so they're all supposed to obey me. I also have 18 in all stats - no, I rolled for them honestly, see.

That's NOT how it works.
>Alarms turning into screaming mouths

I want off the ride.
This is just a question of dogma.

All my players but one are special snowflakes. They are also predicatable, but all together, hard to plan for.

>Player 1: Can not play a good guy, even when he tries. Usually takes less than a game session to start attempting to murder other players. If other players are difficult targets, he begins murdering NPCs.

>Player 2 likes to minmax hard. He does not mind when I am loosey goosey with some things for the sake of speed and easy, ntil it interacts at all with his min maxing.

>Player 3 has trouble buying in to any game. When I introduce the game and start, he digs in deep about why and how he should be interested in this and that. It gets hrd to deal with when he is more or less asking me to make up his back story. He also leads the party as a trend, skipping past pretty much every encounter/place he can. He also cannot play anything but a lawful good type character, and thus will forever clash with player 1.

>Player 4 has the in game personality of mayonnaise. His characters always float along with no motivation or initiative. This is not a problem per-se.

>Player 5 Only special because he goes along and gets along. He is a team player, and also creative. I give him leeway and allow his creativity to flourish because he asks for it.

What kind of game are you playing that the players get to make up their past as you play? Pen and paper Calvinball?

All my players but one are special snowflakes. They are also predicatable, but all together, hard to plan for.

>Player 1: Can not play a good guy, even when he tries. Usually takes less than a game session to start attempting to murder other players. If other players are difficult targets, he begins murdering NPCs.

>Player 2 likes to minmax hard. He does not mind when I am loosey goosey with some things for the sake of speed and easy, ntil it interacts at all with his min maxing.

>Player 3 has trouble buying in to any game. When I introduce the game and start, he digs in deep about why and how he should be interested in this and that. It gets hrd to deal with when he is more or less asking me to make up his back story.

>Player 4 has the in game personality of mayonnaise. His characters always float along with no motivation or initiative. This is not a problem per-se.

>Player 5 Only special because he goes along and gets along. He is a team player, and also creative. I give him leeway and allow his creativity to flourish because he asks for it.
There are two of them in my current group.
>Bunch of noobs have joined the group, which has two DMs.
>I'm the only 'veteran' player
>Playing 4e because it's simpler
>I roll out alcoholic dwarf fighter
>Other characters include:
>Tiefling Warlock who's a bro
>Dragonborn rogue with strangely shitty initiative
>Not too bad
>Then the final two guys
>Human paladin of the god of death, with a scythe
>Holy spirit of the god of death who only ever speaks through the paladin
Goddamnit. Already this campaign my dwarf has been hurt twice by AoE spells from the spirit. We've only played two sessions so far. The paladin only ever finishes off wounded creatures too injured to fight back, spouting some sort of bible bullshit.
>Run into some guys that we really don't wanna fight
>I as the face character say, "hey, I'll try diplomacy!"
>GM says no, it takes 10 rounds

>Fastforward to another game

>Init is rolled, necromancer command undeads them anyway
>Chews me out on having them attack
>"But it's what the pdf says, that they're itching for a fight!"
>"Well you should reward creative solutions!"

What a douche.
also email sent... hours ago but you didn't respond :(:(
>trade in a corner with monsters closing in
>they are slow walking towards me
>start sobbing knowing I'm going to die
>suddenly James fucking Sunderland bursts in through the wall
>"I'M JAMES FUCKING SUNDERLAND" he shouts pulling out a pipe
>he then kills all the monsters with the pipe
>"wow thanks mister Sunderland" I tell him
>hey! that's mister fucking Sunderland to you young man
>he them burst through the ceiling with his pipe and flys away
consider using barkskin on your allies more than you use it on yourself
I take it you're a That GM.
the 4m^3 pile of horse-shit in a layby in my villages industrial estate says otherwise
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I (partially) remember you posting a story the other day, you were fighting kobolds in a cave and the paladin just walked around sacrificing them to the god of death.

i cant remember the rest though, but it sticks in my head. had anymore sessions since then?
No, the DM was unsubtle or unskilled. That is, he wasn't able to think on his feet and come up with a better solution. The player was still acting like a fuckhead, and unless the whole campaign was randumb bullshit, it was his responsibility to put a stop to it.
Seriously, 'burn down 1 in 10 buildings I walk into'? That's absolutely retarded and does nothing but fuck the game for everyone else.
I've seen worse. Like players deciding to skip over a town just to get the main city, ignoring quests that were "beneath" them and spending most of their time in the pub and sleeping after every fight.
So Ran&Chen, the Komejis, Cirno, Suwako and I'm not 100% sure about the rest.

Okay, that was pretty much going to be awesome or a complete trainwreck. Glad to hear it turned out well.
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Also Okuu and China.
>have to recover ancient and super powerful artifact for a quest
>decide to keep it instead
>GM gets buttflustered and stops playing
Adventures of That Guy

>Party is Hiding in a cave, on a coastal cliff, in the middle of the night, while being hunted by pirates.
> Party consensus, stay in cave until morning and escape
> That Guy consensus: I am going outside all by myself and kill enemies
> Rolling behind DM screen, fails perception, surprised, knocked unconscious
> Let the player know that we will get back to him later.
> Work on the rest of the party, try to move the plot forward.
> That Guy derails the game until I let him know what happened to him (40 minutes)
> Advise him that he was knocked unconscious
> That guy derails the game further until he gets a do over, claims that the DM cannot roll stuff for a player without them knowing.
> Roll the encounter over again, in front of him, and let him inspect the statblocks of the guys who found him
> He is still unconscious
> That guy derails game with complaining about the outcome
> By this point one guy in the party, a bit of a hammy roleplayer, is now starting to act out from boredom.
> Most of the party is ready to go home, basically phoning it in.
> Party eventually reunited in the brig of a pirate vessel.
> End of session (ran out of time due to complaining)
> That guy does nothing but complain about hammy roleplayer.
> Never try to run session 2

Another game

> That guy complains for literally 50% of the session about how underpowered the monk is.
> That guy proves his point by running off from the party and getting in encounters designed for the whole party, by himself.
> Complains when he dies
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>not taking note of this and having the quest-giver send another party after yours to get that shit back later down the line
I have never had any problems with my players. Which means I dodged a fucking bullet because two of my former players from a game that dried up after we all got jobs and stuff turned into some pretty big babies in a friend of mine's game. I was not privy to this meltdown so everything from here on out is a second hand account.

So the setting was from the get go a very cuthroat, grim and gritty, Game of Thrones affair where anyone could die and only the most horrible bastard survives. The party was following a lead that led them to another continent. When they arrive there they discover an NPC from they knew from the other continent greets them, even though there was no way he could have gotten there before them.

Now the last time they met this guy he was blind, crippled, and could barely muster a few words in a hoarse whisper. Now he's not blind, walking around fine, and is talking up a storm how he can help them on their quest. The players are like
>>"Seems legit"
and the GM starts mentally face-palming.

Basically this guy was either under a disguise spell or a changeling, but the point was the players should have been immediately suspicious, but they weren't, they just went along with it like this was normal. So they get led into an obvious trap and one of my two former player's gets killed off due to some very unfortunate dice roll. This player is relatively new to gaming and this is the first time they lost a PC.

Total fucking meltdown ensures. From this point on my former players become massive control freaks and try to dictate everything the party does so they don't die again. If someone does something they don't like they will throw a fit or try and make their character's physical stop them. "I Roll high diplomacy so you do what I say" style shit is also used. Player whose character died won't stop whining about it, even though the GM has a quest where they can resurrect her. Everyone else gets sick of this shit and the game falls apart.
I suppose I was "That Guy" on my first D&D session.

>Four of us, Dad is DMing
(my dad was part of the first generation of D&D)
>roll Elven Archer cause I was into Elves and Lord of the Rings
>bro rolls Dwarven Fighter
>friend rolls Paladin
>border fort, orcs growing, yadda yadda, scout out this cave
>Elf I rolled is ridiculously good archer, get three bow shots per turn
>literally am slaughtering 2 orcs each turn, friend gets to kill one orc, bro kills another
>Ogre shows up, I get a crit and a regular hit, kill Ogre before it can do anything
>friend gets mad that he literally can't kill anything because my archer is too good
>next mission is to try and figure out why there are humans spying on the fort
>we should negotiate with them, or take one captive if we have to
>they sneak up on us because I roll a natural 2 for alertness
>they tell us to drop our weapons, I basically tell them to stick it up their ass and provoke a fight
>I go full on rape and kill five humans in three turns, one of those turns being running up a tree and not fighting
>friend is the only one who remembers what we're supposed to be doing and he clubs one over the head with his shield and we take him prisoner
>Fort Captain pissed off I instigated a fight and killed a bunch of people
>friend annoyed I keep killing everything and everyone
>brother not very into it

I was an angsty teen. My friend had been playing D&D for a couple years so he knew what he was doing, he even played a Paladin fairly well. I just wanted to play as Legolas and shoot things.

I'm a bit more tame now though, but when I first started I wasn't exactly a fun party member.
>>13 year kid acts like a 13 year old kid
If you don't look back on your arrogant youth and feel a little ashamed, you still have some growing up to do.
>>30 year old grown-ass adult acts like a 13 year old kid over a game of make believe
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>each building I entered I would secretly roll a d10 and on a 1 had to attempt to burn it.

Just so you're aware, even if your GM is retarded, that is fucking retarded, and you're fucking retarded, but in you're defense, if that's just a consequence of some retarded drawback/flaw system in the game you're playing, then the retardation rests on the game's shoulders, and only some of the retardedness is your fault

>I roll a d10 to be a retarded pyromaniac. WELL GOLLY GEE, LOOK WHAT THE RESULT IS LOL

No! That's RETARDED!



You have no one but yourself to blame.
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"That guy" is, unfortunately, my housemate.

>Younger kid (16) wants to try DMing, we all try to cut him some slack
>That Guy wants in after just finishing Journey and Majoras Mask
>"I want to play a mask that possesses people and only speaks in synth sounds!"
>Everyone wats, questions whether it's a good idea, especially with the rookie DM, and it sounds pretty gimmicky like won't you get bored of it pretty quick?
>Nah it'll be fine I'll make my own language up as I go and you guys can learn it. Also, my character is chaotic neutral and basically acts like a 3 year old kid. Oh and because it's a bard I want it to have +2 on charisma.
>Proceeds to put this poor kid through hours and hours and hours of bullshit to try and homebrew this retarded character into the game, gets mopey and shit when I try and back the kid up on his decisions (eg. "No you can't have +2 Cha just because it suits your class, why would an evil-looking mask stuck on its hosts face that kills the host if we try and take it off and acts retarded and can't even speak have + Cha? If anything it should be a penalty. Fuck, if anything it'd make the most sense for the other characters to just destroy your evil fucking mask before it possesses anyone else.")
>Jumps in towards the end of a session, makes a big deal about how he has trouble putting a shirt on
>Next session, says he doesn't want to play anymore, got bored of the character
The fuck? I want to hear more stories of That Guy.
Anon, you are that guy
>Having a character with a psychological compulsion
Not retarded, not very smart, but not retarded.
>Rolling to represent the character's ability to resist his compulsion
Again, not retarded, not very smart, but not retarded.

>Having fun with a character in a fashion you would not enjoy

See above
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You never met a gypsie then

This would have worked pretty well.

>Why are the mushrooms glowing?
>They're magic mushrooms
Yes they are.
And he never came back....Oh the horror!
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Top kek
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Magic Mushrooms?

Hmm... So I can recharge my batteries with these.
>Tfw I'm rolling a Monk Assassin right now
>Tfw I tend to take point a lot in dungeons
>Tfw not that useful
>Tfw I'm known well known in the group as the bitch of the Random Number God
D-Don't suppose you happened to have his sheet lying around? I could use some pointers in how to suck less as that class, I swear I'm not edgy Mcdoomfaggot.
Surely you're not serious?

No, it's a magical kind of magic. It only works to make these exact mushrooms glow, it doesn't do anything else.
I have a very similar story to OP's, but possibly worse.

>friend GMing a campaign, tells us the rules and limitations of the hyper-modern/sci-fi world he's made
>That Guy wants to make a My Little Pony character for this campaign
>"sorry That Guy, but there are no pony characters in this world."
>That Guy proceeds to complain
>tries to justify his pony character being there, saying things like "he was dimensionally transported from Equestria!" etc. etc.
>after many minutes of argument, the GM finally concedes, "fine, he can be from Equestria, but in this world, he isn't a pony."
>That Guy continues to gripe and whine and go on diatribes about how unfair the GM is being.
>Goes on for probably half an hour.
>We've all had enough so we decide to call it quits and play vidya instead.

Needless to say, he wasn't invited back the next time we started it up.

>implying that wouldn't be magnificent

>dimensionally transported
>a good justification

>Semi-free form RP online, starring That GM
>Be a mage, who almost all the rest of the PCs and all the NPCs take advantage and beat the crap out of
>Fellow PC down on their luck, literally everyone seeks them out and does every horrible thing possible, torture, curses, imprisonment that disallows person from playing
>Be dungeoneering with this person and my only two bros
>GM is feeling particularly feisty and a goddamn Valkyrie appears
>The thing about Valkyries here is that they're basically the strongest things in existence
>Unable to even damage her with my most broken magic combo and now the GM knows about it to metagame and counter it later
>Things are looking grim, my two bros are down for the count
>One of the other PCs apparently teleports over there and one-shots the valkyrie, and revives my two bros
>"You are now my servants, indebted to me for life."
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You're quite literally the reason that I automatically shoot down anything that involves pyromania. Chaotic Neutral fucktards who do retarded shit that detriments the entire party. And screams 'but muh sandbox' whenever the GM slaps your stupid ass into position.
>dimensionally transported pony stops being a pony
Funny how this is pony canon now.
I wouldn't allow it anyway, even if I was a brony.
My whole group is bronies and we would not allow it.
Some shit just should not happen.

The closest we have had is a guy that tries to play one character across every universe.Not a version for that universe, the exact same character.
You're a dick.
You are, unquestionably, that guy. Get fucked.

You sound like one of those That Guys that says "lel it's not my fault my character is a dick, that's just how his personality is, I'm roleplaying him properly xD"

Get fucked
We had a "that DM" once, who had an NPC that he spent absurd amounts of time describing how elegant and beautiful his Queen was, and how all our party felt the need to bow to her.

Our Monk made it his mission to fuck her.

He succeeded thanks to two consecutive Nat 20s.

Our DM stopped coming to our sessions afterwards.
I am new to dnd and have had my own That guy moments.

>New game, try and make an interesting guy
>Half elf journalist
>Consistently getting in trouble because I will do my job whenever something important happens.

Apparently it causes my group pain because I am jotting down stuff that is supper secret

And thats kinda cross conflicting of a journalist to hold secrets.
If he was a one of his men that would sound fucking cool.

Ya your dm is a fag for just suturing up trouble for no reasons. Its a story not a lets fuck around and be a useless sack of shit today
i am, and don't call me shirley.
is that... real life qwop?


will the mushrooms continue to glow after I take them?

Yes, you can use them as some kind of weak torch.
I've seen this image innumerable times over the years, and I've only just now noticed the normal tech-priest in the back.
>That would allow the GM to tailor the campaign around your characters rather than the world.
>a bad habit
It's an RPG played at a table between a group of friends, not a soulless one-size-fits-all video game.
I actually do that sometimes, but it is usually when I get pushed into a game and have to create a character in 10 minutes. Then I create motivations and backstory during the game.
Super late response but I dunno, seems like the sort of DM that just likes handing out crazy shit to everyone. I'll admit, I do that too, but I'll throw in CR 19 fights at level 13 for my 3 player party to compensate.
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>>Player 1: Can not play a good guy, even when he tries. Usually takes less than a game session to start attempting to murder other players. If other players are difficult targets, he begins murdering NPCs.
This is kind of hilarious.

I'm picturing him playing a stereotypical knight-in-shining-armor paladin, and everything's going swell. Then, in the midst of returning the kindly old innkeeper's missing ring, he seamlessly announces, "I roll to cleave the wench with my sword," and the whole table goes silent.

Mouth quivering, tears welling up in his eyes, the player reaches for his die like a relapsing alcoholic bringing a beer to his lips.

He apologizes to the innkeeper, his fellow players, and himself, then rolls the die.

Nat 20.
>having friends
I hope the GM gives him the Phossy Jaw disadvantage.
I love ex That Guy stories.

Here is mine.

> First ever DND game
> Roll wizard, want some of that Gandalf shit
> Ihavenoideawhatiamdoing.exe
> 11 in int
> 16 in str
> Every Combat: Cast 1 magic missile, and then hit things with my staff
> Kill so much shit with my staff, start making enema jokes
> Derail sessions with stupid jokes
> One session, DM saw me coming a mile away.
> Some riddle to pass through a door, answer required a letter of the alphabet.
> Recited entire alphabet
> I fell unconscious
> No one could wake me, so I convinced the dwarf to carry me to the next rest.
> Fighter solved the riddle
> Just antics and stupid shit
> Guys started another game, didn't invite me
> feels bad man, but don't blame them
>> Kill so much shit with my staff, start making enema jokes
It made sense at 14
Maybe the paladin was having an episode and became convinced that the innkeeper was a Drow. Can Paladins get PTSD?
I dunno, does remove disease work for mental illness?
I once met a gypsie. I met him at my place of work. We chatted about /tg/ stuff and vidia. "S", as we will call him, seemed like an okay guy. Even if a little long winded with obscure stories.

One night he randomly showed up to a game store that was within easy distance of my job and witnessed a session of game I was just starting to GM.

Next time I saw him after that he asked me if I was a fan of MLP or wrote fan fiction of it. He then told me of his stories and the fan fiction crossovers he had created.

S moved on to follow work. I stayed here. Never again to hear his stories of MLP and other shit.
Similar story

There is a sex shop near where I work, that I recently learned had an upstairs parlour for meetups.

Anyways, there is a guy who catches my bus, fat, smelly ginger. Always carrying a massive duffel bag with him wherever he goes.

Now this didn't click, when I saw him walking out of said store.

But it did click when I saw him wearing a necklace made out of MLP toys , a shoelace and sticky tape.

>start a campaign
>get people together
>get everything ready for the first session
>realize i don't actually want to GM and just want to play but nobody ever hosts campaigns
>go maximum flake and drop off the face of the earth
I regret nothing.

Oh hi everyone in my group.

Promising to run shit to curb my ridiculous forever DM streak.

I roll up characters, shit never happens

Obviously it's because they don't want to run anything and want you to do it for them. And you let it happen.
Players are jerks
>That would allow the GM to tailor the campaign around your characters rather than the world.
Are you implying here that this is a bad thing?
Are you?

OK fuck, I am finally back. Back to the story

> so of course everyone is freaked out....except for that guy who declares 'dibs on his gun'
> cause witnessing a guy's skin melt into sheets isnt scary at allguys
> mary sue isnt looking t good, white as a sheet. Goth girl actually tells her if she doesn't want to play she can head upstairs and do something else.
>Mary sue refuses, I think she noticed we werent happy with That Guy and she didnt want to be roped in with him
> so after that guy takes Johns gun the plan hasn't changed, we are heading to the docking bay and fucking legging it
> we move on, me sealing the doors behind us (queing Goth chicks airlock sound effect)
> we reach a branching path so I have to bring up the ships schematics
> while doing so we hear the door behind us tear open and something roar
> I manage to get the doors open but not before whatever tore its way through the previous door comes into view
>there are 2 creatures described as 'something put together by someone who didn't understand symmetry and appeared to be made up of human body parts with out skin. Its mouth is just a large hole with human rib bones making up the teeth
> due to some amazing rolls we all pass our sanity check and get through the door
> except That Guy who decides he wants to kill something
That actually sounds vaguely like an SCP-themed CoC/Delta Green campaign I'm planning. Maybe I'll run a quest on here to help me expect what my players will want to do.
God, I want to play this...
>now by this point Goth is sick of that guys shit (during the 'mourning of John' he pulled out his mobile and started playing angry birds) so when that guy declares he is going to fight we al lare eager as it means he will probably die
> to his credit he managed to kill one of the monsters but it took 8 rounds from his gun and by that time the second creature was right near us
> that guy gloats when he kills the creature and loudly declares "See, these things are easy"
> except I know something That guy doesnt...the gun only has a 12 round magazine and John fired 3 rounds before he died
> last bullet
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Looks like painted PVC pipe to me.
Welcome back!

Now hurry and finish so we can decide if this story is capture-worthy or not
> I hand Goth girl a note
> so of course that guy goes to shoot again, fires the last bullet
> of course that guy is shocked to find he has n oammo
> he turns to Goth chick "What the fuck? Why didnt I know I had only one bullet left?"
> "Because you just took the gun, you didnt bother to check the guns magazine"
> "fine I reload"
> "You didnt pick any ammo up remember? you only took his gun"
> "thats not fair. I thought would realize me saying 'I took the gun' would mean i took all the ammo to"
> "No as the ammo was in Johns vest and you ignored his corpse for the gun"
> that guy ends up giving up his arguement thinkign he is in the right and Goth chick is just a bad DM so he turns to run through the door
> remember the note? Yeah i closed the door behind that guy when the creature got to close
> that guy is now super pissed
> "Why did you shut the door"
> Two shambling monstrosities were about to get in I shut the door to save the others"
> "Why didnt you tell me?"
> "Oh I thought you were doing a heroic last stand. You only went in there with 9 bullets
> "How did you know how much ammo I had left?"
> "I saw Johns character sheet and the guns capacity is listed"
> that guy demands I open the door to let him in, I dont because shambling monster behind him
> after some 'combat' (morel iek Goth chick trying to make that guy roll and him bitching about it) That guy dies. We dont get a gruesome description, only the fact we can hear 'a horrible scream followed by a wet snapping noise and then only silence"
> that guy stands up and leaves, but not before yelling that he is telling everyone at the store what a horrible DM Goth is and how we all suck as players.
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please tell me this ends with him getting some sort of comeuppance IRL
I'm satisfied, I can go to sleep now.

Great story.
Props to the GM. Horror is such a hard thing to do that I won't even try it and it sounds like she handled it well even it that guy in there.
Any response back from the store?

You should really say around them what a good game you played, let them know the goth chick did well
I'll skip ahead to That Guy shooting himself in the foot at the store. The game continued without him and we all died but it was fun and Goth girl treated us to pizza for being her guinea pigs (and gave Mary sue some alcohol as she looked scared shitless)

> we arrive at the store next week and find that That Guy has been telling anyone who would listen how Goth girl doesn't know how to GM, how we were all horrible rpers and how we 'bullied mary sue' by making her play a horror game
> the store owner ends up asking us about it
> see That Guy did know the owners, except what he didnt say was the owners knew how much of a poor sport he was
> the store owner also asks about the 'bullying' but mary sue thankfully takes our side and says Goth girl said she could leave the game if it was to nasty for her.
> the store owner tells that guy, loudly that everyone in the store can hear, that he is not to spread rumors about other players just because he died in a game
> after that few people listened to that guy especially when Goth girl became popular in the store for her horror games .
> that guy eventually got banned from the store for hitting another player over a game and migrated to another store (where he spread rumors about how bad our store was)...he later got kicked out of that store for lying about getting laid by one of the female workers and spreading rumors about it.
Hell yeah. Happy ending all round.

Thanks for coming back, and that was a good THAT GUY story.
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Perfect ending.
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Have a screencap for your troubles.
Thank you for that.
someone screen cap those posts
Already done.

I must have watched that for a good minute trying to see how many characters I could recognize. I gave up when I got to Lily because whatever you're looking for you can stop when you find her.
How can you look for her if she's blind?
You betcha. Top notch QWOP cosplay.
What is the exact /tg/ definition of That Guy or That GM

I thought it mainly had to do with people inserting their fetishes or specialsnowflake animu characters but some of these stories don't seem TOO bad.

Maybe it's my lack of games that makes me accept them, or maybe I've just been blessed and the few times i've gotten to play there hasn't been any.

If you have to go 'Oh, fuck, it's that guy again,' for any reason, it's a That Guy.

There's also That Bro/This Guy, who is like... The opposite of that.

He brings snacks to games and shit.
One time I made an enemy whos power was that he could read your mind a few seconds in advance, so he just dodged everything the characters threw at him because he knew exactly where it was coming from. One character called him out on lying, telling him to say what they were currently thinking of. I had to explain that I can't actually read minds in real life.

To be fair though they defeated him by just thinking of nothing but dicks and swinging randomly if that says anything about the campaign.
I want to play under this GM. I've only played in one halfway decent horror game.
Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and tell a story from yesterday's session. We have two "That guys" who are twins. They're fun to be around, but continually make terrible, terrible decisions.
>in an incredibly evil keep
>some shit with evil dolls that turn demonic when blood touches them
>keep is fucking full to the brim with traps
>we've been fucking with this huge, three seated throne for a while now
>giant brass lion head on the top, in the back is a jewel with some sort of spell on it that makes you want it if you see it
>sticking your hand in to get the jewel causes the lion to close and cut off your arm, using the blood to reset the spell on the jewel
>our morally dubious mercenary character had already lost an arm
>one of the twins' new characters that had just come in after his previous one died in a horrible fiery pit lost an arm
>other twin comes up with an idea to cover the lion head so it can't be seen
>goes through this elaborate IRL explanation and demonstration of how he's going to do it, taking care to avoid everything we know about the trap and not do anything stupid
>plan is nearly flawless
>except he forgot about the seat of the throne, which ate a party member that stepped on it
>DM and the guy playing the merc character notice this and smirk at each other
>after explaining all this, the guy says that he's going to do it
>steps up on the throne
>throne springs to life and grabs hold of the guy's leg
>twin gets really pissed because he thought his plan was flawless
>loses his leg
>other twin gets really pissed off and despite no longer being susceptible to the gem's spell because he had already lost an arm, decides that he REAAALLY wants the gem
>at this point, merc nopes the fuck out of there and comes over to hang out with my generic throwaway character that I made after dying in that same fiery pit and my gf's throwaway druid
>after hearing the scream of rage that the twin gave when he decided he wanted the gem, the throne's eye winks, taunting him
>twin pulls out a pint of oil
>at this point, the entire group begins facepalming, given the twins' HORRIBLE HORRIBLE history with fire
>they've killed at least 6 characters by being really dumb with fire
>throws the pint into the lion's mouth, jaws begin to shut
>takes another pint and smashes it against the jaws
>the magical heat in the mouth that burns up body parts after they're inserted ignites the oil
>huge fireball out the mouth
>knocks the twin on his ass, flaming, right on top of the recently amputated other twin
>the fire ignites the pints of oil in the other twin's pack
>huge explosion
>all three of our characters are watching this in awe as a demon emerges from the flames
>the throne was a demon
>demon walks up to all of us, luckily the paladin I had been playing died in a fire, otherwise this would have gone a lot worse
>says something about how it is thankful for all the sacrifice we had given it and shouts to the heavens about the debt being paid or something
>spits something at our feet
>throws the doors open and flies off into the night to raid and pillage everything
>look back at our feet
>it's the gem
That was the most batshit insane session we've had in a long time.
Something happened with the gem, if anyone's interested.
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>he later got kicked out of that store for lying about getting laid by one of the female workers and spreading rumors about it.
Icing on the cake.
Tell him to read your mind now "fireballfireballfireballfireball!"
> luckily the paladin I had been playing died in a fire

And yeah, interested, what happened with the gem?
Not exactly 'That Guy' but one of my friends and former DM had a halfling sorceress who he built and bragged that she could solo most of the party, if not the whole party, and that she had the highest chance of survival of the campaign.
His sorceress also had 11 celestial outsider lesbian lovers due to a spell (don't remember the name) that would be around for an entire fucking year, to compound that he also had her patch everything from an entire wagon filled with supplies to bonfires with Alchemicist fire in them to use as bombs, refused to share that information with the DM.
The DM is newish, or at least rusty since he took over for The Sorceresses' player so he could take a break.
First major fight of the night, the party apparently dimension doors into it.
We discover we are in an antimagic zone, which the DM didn't know would cause all of the magic patches to come undone and he decides to be generous, saying that they take a round before expanding after they fall off the halfling
She takes them and runs into a group of piss ant enemies, going kamikaze.
Sure, let's hear about the gem.
>Something happened with the gem, if anyone's interested.

Son, this is /tg/. If the story's not terribly written, or if it's sufficiently interesting to overwhelm its poor writing, we're always interested.
My gaming group tends to shift players, though me, the dm, and another friend of mine tend to be a solid core group most of the time, in this case it was me, the dm, a friend of his, and someone from the local shop. The party consisted of a LN Wizard (me), LS Paladin (that friend), and a CE Rogue (ShopGuy). So dm does his opening spiel, kingdom unstable, brigands and such running about, we all start in a tavern due to hearing about someone there needing adventurers for a task, and we file in one by one, the barkeeper directing us to a table to meet the guy hiring us. Me first, then ShopGuy, and finally LS Paladin. me and shopguy get along fine, conversing about what we expect will happen, sharing a slight bit of backstory, and just working to build our characters' relationship to reasonably amiable. Now once the Paladin gets to our table, before even introducing himself mind you, detect evil's both of us, and upon noticing that the rogue is south of neutral immediately draws his sword on him. Shopguy tries to maintain civility, rolling diplomacy trying to calm the paladin down, not drawing a weapon or even standing up to threaten the paladin, I'm trying to help him calm the LS tard down asking if there is a warrant or something for the rogue to explain his actions, while the rogue professes to not having committed any crime worse than petty theft. The paladin proceeds to explain that its his job to end all evil in the world before proceeding to run shopguy through with a greatsword smite, killing him on the spot.
That friend smiles and looks to me and the dm who are at this point as pissed off as shopguy, and the gm responds by saying the words that ended that smile beautifully, “welcome to true neutral”. Failadin begins to argue with the dm about how he did his duty of killing an evil person and improving the world, dm responds by saying he killed an unarmed man for which there was no cause to arrest, let alone execute, citing the unjutifiableness as chaotic, and the killing the unarmed as evil. Game starts to slowly move as shopguy makes new character to replace the killed one, and then as guards show up to arrest Failadin (bartender called them when the sword was drawn) he then goes to attack me for sticking up for the rogue, (though now I'm standing because I jumped up after the kill) he manages to kill me in 2 rounds before getting slaughtered by the guards. As this effectively ended the game, he declares he “won” by living longer than the two of us, the idea of a coop game apparently being lost on him. Argument followed and from what I understand dm no longer talks to him due to a history of similar dickery when it game to gaming and stuff.
I can never understand people who try to botch everything from moment one.
>all three of us roll appraise checks on the gem
>merc gets a 1, thinks it's utterly worthless
>I roll the highest, estimate it's worth about 15000 GP
>I decide to pick it up
>I hear the voice of a small child in my head
>thanks me for saving it from the demon
>asks me to put it to my forehead so it can give me my reward
>fuck it, why not, it's a throwaway character anyway
>searing pain
>it fuses itself to my forehead
>all of this happens in a private session with DM so the other players don't know
>he tells me that he will inform me of one new property and power of the gem each day or session or whatever
>the first power is that I can hypnotize and command people with simple, one word orders once per day per level
Not incredibly interesting yet, but I think it's gonna be good. I'll come back once I know more about it.
I don't understand it much either, me and dm tried again with Storeguy and 3 other mutual friends and that campaign turned amazing fast, with Storeguy winding up as a bard and the BBEG and us unaware till 60% or so in and too late to stop him easily
I completely understand a Paladin casting detect evil on the people he's travelling with, but straight up killing the guy was a bit excessive.

I could even understand attempting to arrest the Rogue, bringing him to authorities and seeing if he was a wanted man.

But that guy just went full retard.
Ok, I've got a few more.
>Decides to play a "feral halfling" druid, I'm a thri-kreen gladiator and kid (same one who DM'd the mask) is an orc barbarian. There'd been a few other players but their characters had died off that session.
>Do some exploring and dungeoneering in a desert
>Boss fight against a lizardfolk mummy
>The orc and I leap in to take on the monster
>"I pull a pebble out of my pocket and cast darkness on it"
>Huh, well ok
>Proceeds to completely blacken us, the actual damage dealers, out of the combat
>Only puts the pebble away on his own turn to try and hit the mummy, then pulls it back out. Turns out he "built" his character to do this by taking blind-fight (but gets upset when the DM tells him that blind fight doesn't take away all the penalties for fighting in darkness like he thought it did).
>The lizard mummy isn't stupid, slips away into the darkness while the orc and I flail about to try and hit it
>Give him "cut this shit out" look but don't say anything. I really should have.
>This bullshit continues on for several rounds as the poor kid/orc is slowly worn down before I leap at where I think the mummy is, miss and daze myself on a wall
>Hear a wet "crunch" sound
>Pebble stashed away and we see the mummy give a shit-eating sneer as it twists its spear into the dead orc's throat
>Sit in awkward silence as I proceed to finally kill the fucker when That Guy finally puts the fucking stone away
>Didn't even see his character do it so I couldn't justify any kind of reaction in-game
>No one else wants to play anymore, another game left to rot
Replying to you because this is the last one i read

>Complaining for 30 minutes
Can people really go on that long? Longest argument iv had was probably 5 minutes. If the fucker is still going after 5 minutes then i'm done with that. Not sure where you would get the energy to argue for 30 minutes.
Wow. Why the fuck would you even play a game like that?
Surely he knows that even consecutive natural 20s are not magical mind control and that he doesn't have to allow anything to happen if he doesn't want to. Right?
Does that sound like the kind of DM who would go into tedious detail about how amazing this NPC is who you should all totally worship like she's a goddess?
Yeah. They're the worst.
Except for mine. Mine are the best.
They don't exactly sound like That Guy to me. The just seem really stupid. I liked the story, though.
Some people like to argue.
I had a housemate like that once.
One night we stayed up until 5 in the morning arguing whether George Washington was the first President of the United States.
I only abandoned the arguement when I chose to agree to disagree on the definition of the word "is."
Just some friendly advice:
When typing a lengthy post, use enter after almost every sentence and skip a line when you would start a new paragraph.

It makes posts easier to read and prevents blocks of text that some anons dislike.

Good That Guy story though.
Another tip to you:
The post reply box is WAY SMALLER than a post is. So what seems like a paragraph is actually a single line.
I have a feeling my entire group is all variations of That Guy.
>Usual GM isn't bad, but becomes major stat-roller and number lover when player, says he'd like the games to be more centered on roleplay which is fine by me. The whole thing of making characters that either are near impossible to kill through being lich or other thing, or are pretty overpowered compared to rest of party.
>Other guy who's not entirely overpowered as previous guy, but knows some cheap stuff and tries to maximize on certain things that I can't quite remember what. Can be a bit idiotic with decisions, I wouldn't be surprised if he rolled rogue and stole stuff from party every night.
>Next guy is more or less just an idiot with decisions, more so than previous guy. Can come up with good plans, but he has to explain them in full or else they sound retarded.
>Me, wanting to have played things that may or may not have exceeded special snowflake tier, but I don't have much of a problem with not being able to roll concepts. Can't do shit with dialogue since I'm terrible at it and tried odd stuff as a cleric of god of vengeance; he did not approve my more "symbolic" means.
>Last guy isn't bad, but expects DM to bend a bit more than would be suggested, especially by /tg/. Tries to play concepts but argues why they can't be done. Generally argues the most out of us.
>One night we stayed up until 5 in the morning arguing whether George Washington was the first President of the United States.
I don't even know how this happens, but I know someone who argues like that as well.
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> assumes you have no fucking idea what you're doing right off the bat
> ruins the atmosphere with jokes that either rib the GM or the setting.

I know a guy just like this. Unfortunately he headed up a gaming griup where we all traded off GMing and player roles, and it ended up coloring the whole group's behavior in-game. So fuck immersion, I guess, now everyone is a fucking snark.
>I could have sworn someone asked for a definition of That Guy / That DM earlier and I wrote this up. I can’t find it now. Oh well.
Humbly presented for tg’s approval

>That Guy
Definition: An individual, typically a player of a traditional game, who disrupts and ruins the enjoyment of the game for most, usually all, of the other players while pursuing their own agenda.
This is accomplished through the willful actions of That Guy rather than through mistakes or lack of skill.
Common examples include anything that disrupts the flow of the game in a major way such as starting arguments outside the game; ignoring the wishes, will, and opinion of the other players in favor of their agenda; taking actions within the game to deliberately and consistently counter the actions of others; or willfully disrupting the atmosphere of the game.

>That DM
Definition: An individual running a traditional game that ruins the enjoyment of the game for the players while pursuing their own agenda.
This is usually accomplished through the willful actions of That DM, although sometimes it is through mistakes or lack of skill as an unskilled DM may forget the fun of the players while pursuing another aspect of running the game.
Common examples of this are treating the players as adversaries and abusing the power of running the game against them; ignoring the wishes, will, and opinion of the players in favor of their agenda; or forcing the players to play the game differently than they agreed to.

There are many annoying flavors of That Guy and That DM.
Keep lurking tg, “Gotta catch ‘em all!”

>inb4 examples are wrong
I sent this in for archival, I figure that horror story is worth saving
Already been screenshotted.

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