Previously on washed up villain quest:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Washed%20up%20villain%20questPaste bin: http://pastebin.com/ZFFtLDe6This place is strange, you think to yourself as you sit on a long chair a frail man told you was called a bench. The ground beneath your feet is too...solid, you don't sink up to your knees with every step. The air around you is warm and crisp and smells ever so slightly of baked goods, it doesn't feel right, this is pansy weather, the kind that makes you soft and weak. why did your comrades send you to such a hell? Surely it must be a test of some kind(Yeah, has to be, I say we start by burning this hero guild to the ground, and turn the scorched ruins into a train yard). "I don't know what a train is" You mutter to yourself.(and this is why we can never be friends, Gunther)"Oh like I'd want to be friends with the voice in my head!" You shout. People are staring now, talking, whispering, laughing.(now look at what you've done)What do you do Stare run off Go and buy something ask for directions to the heroes guild other
>>28041185> ask for directions to the heroes guild
Enough with the quest threads
>>28041185I'm pretty sure somebody will pat us on the back. "I know that feel.""HE JUST WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT THOSE FUCKING COMBAT MULTIPLIERS!"
>>28041234But I'm having so much fun
>>28041234The threads are easy enough to hide. Participation is not mandatory.
>>28041238He watches your every move, you cannot escape the gaze of Weaver, Weaver knows all, he knows you need to get your combat multiplier even HIGHER
>>28041243Try thinking for the state of /tg/You would do the same if you wanted to perserve all that was /tg/Now if this was a 40k quest it might work. You could try somthing new and go the Iron Kingdoms route. Bold move, but you would do somthing new and creative.
Rolled 3>>28041185> Go and buy somethingWe've got 100g, right? Can we get a Cane and a Coat for that?
>>28041299Again, participation is not mandatory.
>>28041299Actually that is possible in this quest. Any setting is, all you have to do is kill the current MC. then I give the players a choice of a setting. They chose Fable's Albion.
>>28041343Okay, just please keep it /tg/ related.When I see faggots filling the board up with Mario quests and shit I just die a little inside.
>>28041374I will try my best
Rolled 73>>28041362Then we must have them. Also, I reject any weapons that are not cane based.
>>28041374Then filter anon. We've had this discussion repeatedly for years.
>>28041374You know, you can just filter out quest threads.
>>28041401That will get Gunther killed, CANES = Sticks this time around
>>28041185>[X] ask for directions to the heroes guildRemember! We are an AXE MAN!
>>28041454for that is the knothole glade waaaaaaaaaay
>>28041421Sword canes don't exist?
>>28041461Axe cane. The blade is also the handle.
>>28041504They could, except albionites are as stupid as a bottomless shoe, so its unlikely unless you find a smart one
>>28041532MY GOD, YES
>>28041461You know...despite hating that place and wanting to control it for our own evil end we sure are perfecting the knothole glade values.I mean think about it: Kill a balv when we are 10 with our own skill and strength, get a kickass tatoo of our victory, out drink the hunters, and we are going to weild the best axe known to man.We are like a knothole glade god.
>>28041555That's why the hunters are currently crying their eyes out. just think about how it'll be when you return their in adult hood
>>28041554Now all we need to do it make something like that but 3 times as big.
>>28041454"Umm" You begin feeling quite uncomfortable with these stick like men and women staring at you, why are they so thin "could one of you....people point me towards the heroes guild?"."What did he say" one of them asks in a pompous accent."I think he asked about the heroes guild" another says sounding like someone with mud shoved up their nose "Hard to tell with his accent"."Thick as a troll hide isn't it" a small man laughs "Yeah its over the bridge and too the left, its a bit of a walk, but nothing a witchwood warrior can't handle". With this the crowd bursts out laughing. (I think they're mocking you, I say torture their families).what do you do walk away, you'll show them all eventually Point out their flaws THIS IS THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY (rip off shirt revealing tattoo, posing optional)other
Rolled 55>>28041554Then it must be done.
>>28041628> walk away, you'll show them all eventually
>>28041628> Point out their flawsPoint out that laughing at a kid going to the hero guild for training might be bad for your health.Then THIS IS THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY (rip off shirt revealing tattoo, posing optional)
>>28041628> THIS IS THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY (rip off shirt revealing tattoo, posing optional)what if we got the tattoo why ever wear a shirt again?
>>28041628>[X] THIS IS THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY (rip off shirt revealing tattoo, posing mandatory)
Rolled 48>>28041628> walk away, you'll show them all eventually"You two, what are your names."*Make a note in kill-list*
>>28041628>Point out their flaws>The second they respond with hostility show the THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY!!?
>>28041628I have the feeling we will be ripping off our shirt alot for some reason.
>>28041700We could also go the whole balverine way: get fully naked then pee all over the place.
>>28041700Maybe we should just invest in an open vest or long coat?
>>28041730Shortly after writing the word "vest" I started thinking of Machete for some reason...
>>28041651"Ya know laughing at a kid going to the guild for training may be bad for your health, you spindly balverine turds" You say "I have more hair on me then any of you combined, you all look like underfed overgrown babies". they go silent, no doubt self conscious at their failings at life."ALSO" You say ripping off your shirt "I'm an avo damned balverine hunter, I KILLED A BALVERINE WITH A BONE, AND I AM A CHILD, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH YOUR LIVES". And with that you walk away, knowing they will forever live in sorrow at never being able to live the KNOTHOLE GLADE WAY....."What did he say" the baker asks"I don't know but is sure did sound strange" the butcher says"I think he called us balverine turds" the blacksmith says nodding"Did you see is tattoo?" The baker's wife says "ain't that the one those balverine hunters get"......By avo this city is worse on the inside, so many people, all of them pathetic little doll menwhat do you  To the heroes guild Buy something insult them other
Rolled 29>>28041730Long coatNo shirt Abs of steelTophatMagnificent moustacheAxecaneFinal destination
>>28041730I would go with the long coat/cloak so we can just throw it off of us and show the the knothole glade way.Even better if said cloak is made from our enemies!
>>28041778> To the heroes guild
>>28041784Or two tophats.>>28041778 To the heroes guildWe can't really insult people right now, our accent is too thick.
Rolled 12>>28041778> Buy somethingAXECANE!> To the heroes guild
>>28041778>Buy somethingYou know exactly what we want to buy. LARGE CANEAXE plus a cloak.
>>28041778>[x] to the heroes guildThese doll men have proved themselves unworthy of our time.
>>28041814Who sells weapons to children? though that is the knothole glade way, these people do not follow this holy set of rules and lifestyle
Rolled 15>>28041807Something like this style?
Rolled 67>>28041841Did someone say buy? We should just steal it.
>>28041841Clearly we buy the cload and steal an axe until we can get a caneaxe
>>28041841Wouldn't the heroes guild give us weapons anyway?
>>28041841We have a moustache, just tell them we can drink them under the table. ...right, they can't understand our accent.CURSES
>>28041841>>28041866cloak*>>28041871Maybe but why wait for them to chose to give us a real weapon when we can just start with a lethal one.
>>28041871Yes, but then you're a hero a no one give a shit what you do
Rolled 38>>28041871Not until the end of our training. Until that, we only get sticks and possibly stones.
>>28041895so lets go to the hero's guild.
>>28041904Ok. Time to go lumberjack a'murderin! (or just beat one into submission/unconsciousness.
>>28041933Or we could go to the hero's guild, meet Justice and then play pranks on her like a little boy with a crush.
>>28041837Well you better get to the heroes guild before this town turns you soft and fat.(Wait, you're actually going to the guild, well this should be interesting, a wave a spandex VS hairy child with a drinking problem)"Oh shut your trap voice in my head" You say as you push and shove your way through the emaciated horde of city folk. Its like walking through a crypt.(No its not, I know how that is like).and your possible madness is acting up, wonderful. though you'll give them one thing, stone building are a brilliant idea.You soon manage the escape the city, ignoring the laughs of the guards when you bid them good day, you heard something about a fake mustache and how children shouldn't play in the forest, fucking pansiesYou walk across the stone bridge, ignoring the pretty architecture as it sickens you like your mother's cooking. Finally a forest, just like ho.....ok what is this bullshit, why is there sunlight inside this forest, and why hasn't the sky stopped being blue. And why are there people here, and benches, and a stone spitting out water. what a strange landwhat do you do. inspect the stone the sign seems similar to the note on your chest, follow it is that pie i smell? other
>>28041778>X] Buy/steal somethingMade it just in time for the most wonderful part of the day!
>>28041965The voice in our head is going to be screaming "TIE HER TO THE FUCKING TRAIN TRACKS!" for years, isn't it?
>>28041983Dick is a dick, so yes
>>28041972>[X] is that pie i smell?
Rolled 76>>28041965Or play prank on her like a dangerous psychopath with a crush.>>28041972> is that pie i smell?Steal pie and eat it in front of children!
>>28041972My stomach is grumbling.>Pie?...>...>running and or fighting>chomp
>>28041972> inspect the stoneDemon door, get
>>28041895So...they're going to try enforcing sobriety on us until we complete our training? Ahhahahahaha. We are so getting kicked out during the first week.
>>28042036Is that pie you smell? Smells like that blueberry pie your mom bought you before she began to stop caring, Little jimmy pushed you over before you could eat it, covering you in mud and pie, he ruined your day. Shame he got eaten by balverines a few days after that, it was an even bigger shame his father disappeared into the forest hungering for revenge. No one ever did find his body, maybe he got bit, and turned.The smell of the pie is coming from a path that reads "Picnic area" whatever that means. You follow your nose, through this pansy of a forest. and find an open clearing, with people, tables and a whole lot of food.what do you do PIE scream something about balverinesleave cursing the people who found the pie first other
>>28042098They might at first, but then again they might find it hilarious
Rolled 17>>28042098 PIE
>>28042124>PIE!But be cunning about it! Cause a distraction somewhere then swooping and nab the unguarded PIE!>>28042134Excellent!
>>28042177Pie, you must have the pie.(Don't tell me your going to feed more people to balverines if you don't get a bite of it this time)"Shut up" you whisper to yourself as you tip toe up to the table. There are several children running around playing tag or something, and the adults are laughing and talking to eachother...they aren't even touching the food. Are they even people?You look around and grab a whole pit, blueberry. You are about to tear a piece out of it, when you hear a buzzing noise, similar to the many innsects of witchwood island. You look to your right and see about five wasps the size of your chestwhat do you do I WILL DIE FOR MY PIE rol1d100 (punch em in the face0 Run roll1d100 Want to share? Other
Rolled 25>>28042268> I WILL DIE FOR MY PIE rol1d100 (punch em in the face0
>>28042268[X] I WILL DIE FOR MY PIE rol1d100 (punch em in the face0IT IS THE KNOTHOLE GLADE WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Rolled 65>>28042268>Punch time!
Rolled 67>>28042268> I WILL DIE FOR MY PIE rol1d100 (punch em in the face0Use our secret wolf fang punch technique!
Rolled 75>>28042268 I WILL DIE FOR MY PIE rol1d100 (punch em in the face) "I WILL NOT BE DENIED!"
Rolled 5>>28042292>>28042292....There are going to misunderstand and think we saved them aren't they?
>>28042317Perhaps, villagers are shit like that
Rolled 9>>28042268[activate berserking]
Rolled 16>>28042268Tear the lower body off the wasp, then take it's stinger and use it to stab the rest of them into the goddamn face.
>>28042312"I WILL NOT BE DENIED" You scream as you charge the large insects "OF MY PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!". One of them jabs its ass dagger at you, but you've trained for such an instance with the smaller kids and sharp sticks, though it was the other way around when you did it. You grab its lower body and squeeze, crushing its wings like a dry leaf. You throw the wasp down and raise your foot high into the air, before stomping on the overgrown insect and squashing it like...well a bug. One of them flies and hits your back, nearly causing you to leap from your skin, and now you have the remains of a large wasp on your back. You grab a stone and throw it one of the remaining three. it is a direct hit and its sent carreening down the cliff.there are two wasps leftwhat do you do scream at them roll1d100 no mercy roll1d00 run roll1d00 other
>>28042317Nooooooo. Curse our accent preventing us from effectively cursing them out for misinterpreting our efforts!
Rolled 67>>28042419> no mercy roll1d00THIS IS BOWERSTONE!
Rolled 51>>28042419>remove wings from wasps>throw flightless wasps in random directions(avoiding the trees as possible)
>>28042419> scream at them roll1d100FUS-ROH-DAH!
Rolled 50>>28042419[X] no mercy roll1d00We would do anything for pie.
Rolled 81>>28042454Oops, rolling.
>>28042468One of the wasps tries to sting you again, however it is no balverine, so you catch it as it darts past you. You tear off its wings, and point its stinger at the remaining wasp, it starts flying towards you. A bit closer. just a bit closer. Now. You throw the wasp at the other wasp, lodging it firmly in the wound. The wasps have been vanquished. and now you can eat your pie. Wait why are you in the air?"Did you see that dear" the man holding you says "He saved us".(B...but they were just wasps). They're cheering, why are they cheering. WHY ARE THEY TROWING YOU IN THE AIR, WHY ARE THEY HITTING YOUR BACK, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE"You're a right hero you are" A rather chubby woman says when they finally put you down.(AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGH!!!!)"That he is" A short man sayswhat do you do bask in attention Run away, these people must be a cult or something other
Rolled 70>>28042561> Run away, these people must be a cult or somethingBut steal some pie first.
>>28042561> bask in attentionheay how about that pie
Rolled 9>>28042561[X] Run away with our pie cause these people are crazy.
>>28042561>Eat Pie!>eat all the pies present!>leaveAt no point attempt to convers with these foolish softies.
>>28042561>Run boy! These backwards devil worshipped have plans for you!
Rolled 79>>28042561> otherSee if anybody has a nice coat, if they do, demand that as tribute. Also, grab a pie and get the fuck out.
>>28042649A great idea.
>>28042649None of them have coats, they appear to be dock workers, farmers and other such things.
Rolled 31>>28042687Fucking plebsWell, let's see if we can demand some money as a tribute.
>>28042601They must be some cult or something. No one could be so pathetic as to call any one able to kill a couple of wasps a hero. You decide the pie is reward enough for you valiant defending of the pie, And you also decided to get the hell away from these freaks as soon as possible. So you bravely run away, avoiding roots and wet patches of grass as you run back to the place with the stone spitting water. You get there in no time, relived that you managed to escape what do you do to the heroes guild eat the pie (free action) inspect water spitting stone other
Rolled 12>>28042837> otherFind impoverished people and then eat the pie.
>>28042837> eat the pie (free action) inspect water spitting stoneWhat witchcraft is this?
>>28042837> to the heroes guild> eat the pie (free action)
>>28042837Brave sir Gunther ran away.[X] inspect water spitting stone
>>28042837> to the heroes guild
>>28042837>eat pieThen>find guildStay the fuck away from that abomination of nature (water spitting rock).
Rolled 74>>28042837 inspect water spitting stone Possibly try to beat it in a peeing contest.
>>28042873You decided now would be a great time to partake it some pie. So you begin tearing large chunks out of it with your hands and shoving it into your mouth. ITS EVEN BETTER THAN EXPECTED. By time you're done, a good deal of your face and a bit of your upper body is covered in pie. You then decide to look at the water spitting stone, and find what ever mechanic or witchery powers it, in the process you get soaked and are no closer to finding the secrets that dwell within. Having nothing better to do you head down the path that says heroes guild, seeing as they may know why your fellow hunters put you on a ship to this strange thrice damned land.What do you do Lets see how witch girl is doing Push open the gates and stride down the path other
>>28042976> Lets see how witch girl is doing
Rolled 2>>28042976> Push open the gates and stride down the pathDRINKING TIME!
>>28042976 Push open the gates and stride down the path
>>28042976[X] Push open the gates.
>>28042976>Push gates openSee how sturdy they are in the process
>>28043028You push open the big wooden gates with the strange symbol on them and continue down the cobble stone path through the trees. Along the sides are lanterns, what do these people hate the dark or something, its like they want balverines to eat them or something. And all these colors and flowers, its like a fairy shat out this land after eating some kind of foul mushroom or something. Eventually after much hateful glaring, the path comes to an end at what resembles a large castle, seemingly solely populated by people in white robes. The grass is well cared for, and you the air is thick with the scent of sweat, cooking, metal, and something you can't quite recognize. There is a small girl sitting near the lake in a intracet dress that rich people can afford, her hair a strange color that resembles gold.what do you do greet the girl push the girl wander about (WHAT ARE THESE WRETCHES WEARING) Well this is a classy place other
Rolled 24>>28043100> push the girlYou got pretty hair like gold!Lets show her our love
>>28043100 Well this is a classy place greet the girl
>>28043100>[X] (WHAT ARE THESE WRETCHES WEARING)And then push the girl aka try to pickpocket her.
>>28043100>greet girl>"I'm in Hell, right?"
>>28043148You may also switch to witch girl's perspective to have a description of our boy guntherthis is a free action and gunther will preform whatever action you choose if you wish to see this conversation from her eyes
>>28043164Well I'm not saying any particular reason not to.
>>28043164Sounds good to me....Now to see if she has a voice in her head as well.
Rolled 75>>28043164Damn were awesome. Lets do that.
>>28043164Let's do that.
>>28043100Wait....what if Dick has his tantrum about the cloths, we go to greet the girl, and at the very end push to just for the sake of it.
>>28043164Any chance we're going to hear Dick chat directly with Justice whenever the two kids get close to each other?
>>28043187The man in the picture is closer to Dick Dastardly, aka God of villainy. Also you can ignore every part of the current MC's name except the first and last part, if you wish
>>28043100Lets...not push random strangers. greet the girl
>>28043246We could always preface the puts with "Allow me to greet you in the manner of my people."
Rolled 61>>28043223No. We are Gunther Dick Vilian Bethany the fourth.
>>28043273Forgot the dastardly part
Rolled 29>>28043314Well, dastardly is only for our mom and people we like.
>>28043200Astraia Grey.....You stare at your reflection, bored. There are few people in the guild your age, fewer with your ability of will, and even fewer that came from such an easy life as you did, in fact you are the only person here who used to have any sort of coin to your knowledge. Its a lonely, not to mention some have taken to calling you witch girl, So you set their shoes on fire.(Which I told you not to do). Not to mention there is a second voice inside your head ever since your mother was gutted like a fish by a so called witch hunter. You hear something the sounds like a wild animal being caught in a trap and turn around to see. A....boy, holding his head and talking to himself. His hair is matter and ungroomed, like some kind of wild dog. The clothes he's wearing look a little finer than a burlap sack, and his shirt is torn revealing an interact tattoo of some kind of wolf beast howling. You stare in disbelief at the creature, with his hands covered in all sorts of filth you don't care to imagine. Oh Avo he's spotted you...WHY DOES HE HAVE A MUSTACHE. "Oh ellah dere lil lass" He's says with a smile "Wah arh ya sow tinneh"."w..what?" You ask unable to understand what he's saying. He run towards you, bringing a scent of wet dog to your noes"Wah arh ya sow small" He asks again."Why am I small?" you ask."Ya" he replies shaking his head.(I recognize that mustache)."Who...are you" You ask standing up."Oh?" he says tilting his head "Ah ahm Gunther"."Well its.....nice to meet you gunther" You say slowly backing away "I am Astraia Grey, and I really need to get going.what do you do switch back to gunther (free action) Run quickly away set his shoes on fire otherG actions Ask her why her hair is golden push her into the water shrug and walk away other
>>28043400[X] Run away quickly by seting his shoes on fire[X] push her into the water as she runs away for setting your shoes on fire and then ask her why her hair is golden
>>28043400> push her into the watercause we like her set his shoes on firebecause we like him switch back to gunther (free action)
Rolled 64>>28043400her otherStareGunther Ask her why her hair is golden push her into the water
>>28043400Astraea>Set shoes on fireGunther>Remove shoes and throw them in lake (do not bother untying them>Tell her that you accept her traditional greeting and that you shall respond by saying hello in the manner of our people>pick her up and throw her into the lake...>save her if she can't swim.
>>28043474Sounds good to me except the saving part.
Rolled 48>>28043474Shouldn't we also pee in the lake for a good measure?
>>28043474I like this plan
>>28043485What is with you with the peeing
>>28043481Please, by being saved she implicitly agrees to be our minion until she can defeat us by force of arms (inevitably that will happen thirty seconds after we drag her to shore, but Gunther don't know that yet). Besides, we can tease her about it for years. And she can probably levitate or some shit.
Rolled 65>>28043500Not sure. I am not even into that stuff. I guess I associated the character with wolves, and wolves do that a lot.
>>28043519Sure it wasn't too much (as if there is such a thing) Calvin and Hobbs as a child?
>>28043519>G -  Ask her why her hair is golden>A -  Run quickly away
Rolled 28>>28043539I didn't read that as a child, it's unknown around here.
>>28043486I always worry when OPs like my plans...
>>28043474You decide to set his shoes on fire, if you could call those shoes, and then run away while he's distracted. You focus on his shoes, oh sweet avo its like he shoved his feet into living rats. Your hands begin to glow a dim red, before erupting into flames that also appear on his feet. He stares at you, with a rather confused look on his face. He grabs the now burning peices of leather around his feet without flinching and tosses them into the lake.He smiles and opens his mouth the speak again."Wah is yar hare goldin" He asks as he walks towards you.(Your best option is to run away, quickly). You begin to do so when you feel a crushing grip around you. He's EVEN WORSE UP CLOSE"WAH IS YAR HARE GOLDIN" He asks again. You try to push him away, which seems to anger him as he lifts you up off the ground like you were a doll."Dis is da knothole glad weh" He says with a smile."What do you meaAAAAAAAAH" You scream as you suddenly find yourself in the air.*Splash*. You begin to flounder about, You've never learned how to swim, not to mention the water is cold, so very coldGunther Dastardly.....You laugh as you see the little gold haired girl bob up and down in the water, a look of terror on her face......Wait, DO THESE PEOPLE NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM?!what do you dohelp try and teach her how to swim, trial by fire...er water roll1d100 laugh some more other
Rolled 26>>28043658> try and teach her how to swim, trial by fire...er water roll1d100Always pick the option with roll
>>28043658>help"Ya dae it like thas wee lass! Is just like wallawin' inna mud poodle!"
Rolled 78>>28043658> try and teach her how to swim, trial by fire...er water roll1d100"Ideally, your head will be above the water."
>>28043658[X] laugh some more and jump in to help her out so we can gloat about how these silly folk don't even know how to swim.After which we declare that she ows us her life and is now our subordinate.
Rolled 72>>28043658> try and teach her how to swim, trial by fire...er water roll1d100
Rolled 71>>28043658Clearly>Try to teach her how to swim while laughing our ass offis the only optionBut we should probably make sure she doesn't actually drown (save her if she gets in trouble, let her recover then throw her back to the fire...er, water, maybe with less heavy clothing if that ridiculous dress is getting in her way).
>>28043688"That's not how you do it you numpty" You shout in between bouts of laughter "Here let me show you how its done". You jump into the water, finding it pleasantly cool, though the wave you created seems to have startled the poor lass."First the doggy paddle" You say as you begin to dig your arms into the water a kick your feet "See simple". She looks at you like a scared kitten, still splashing her arms around wildly, but she seems to be doing better."The is the froggy way" You say as you push the water away from you and do the same with your legs "But this way is for pansies so it should be perfect for you". She seems to understand that you are trying to teach her something new and begins to copy your movements."see, isn't this fun" You say as you paddle around the lake "Hey, you just started swimming, why are you getting out already?"she pulls herself up on to the shore and flops over one her back, her fine dress soaked in mud and water and with a few water weeds stuck to it.what do you do swim around some more get out and ask her why she got out get out and find who runs this place Why does that door have a face? (I forgot what this demon door said exactly) other
>>28043728>Throw her back with less heavy clothingWelp, can't argue with that.
>>28043830> get out and ask her why she got out"And why did your hair change color? It looks like wet straw now."
>>28043830[X] get out and ask her why she got outAs for the demon door? Why not make it up as you go?
Rolled 40>>28043830> get out and ask her why she got outthen  get out and find who runs this place
Rolled 20>>28043830> get out and ask her why she got outAlso ask her if she wants to throw rocks at birds with us
>>28043875I know he wanted a lantern shoved up his ass
>>28043830>swim around some more while asking her why she got out, I mean her lesson just started right?>whatever, we can continue the lesson later. Get her to show you around is place.
Rolled 38>>28043887A lit or unlit lantern? This is a very important detail.
>>28043898Well, we can always get our new friend to light it whenever.
Rolled 33>>28043915>>28043908Now you're thinking with magic.
>>28043851You get out of the water, enjoying the feel of mud on your hands and arms."Why did you get out?" You ask the panting girl "and why did your hair change color its like wet straw now"."Why did you throw me into the water" She shouts suddenly standing up 'you ruined my dress"."Because your arms where on fire" you say "Same reason I threw my shoes in"."....It wasn't hurting me" she says."It wasn't!!" You shout picking her up again "Damn, your one tough cookie eh"."You're crushing me" She says as she struggles weakly."But your as weak as a twig" you say dropping her into the mud. her face is frozen in a look of disgust, perhaps because her ass is in mudWhat do you do throw mud at her ask who runs this place ask her to do the fire thing again OI DOOR FACE other
>>28043971> ask her to do the fire thing again"Can you teach me how to do that? It'll be handy next time I have to kill a Balverine with me hands."
>>28043971[X] Carry her over our shoulder to the door face thing.
Rolled 25>>28043971> throw mud at herIts our mating ritual.
Rolled 61>>28043971 ask who runs this place?
>>28043971If she complains at all about being dirty, dunk her in the lake until she comes out cleanish.
Rolled 95How long before we marry her at this point? It will be a beautifully evil relationship.
>>28043971"Weak Twig" is her new nickname.> pick her up and carry her under our arm.> get a guided tour of the place out of her.
>>28044050I can live with this.
>>2804403315 to 20 years.
>>28044033Probably somewhere between 5 (shotgun wedding) and 30 (she nagged us into making it legal) years I think.
>>28044050this is great
>>28044050This'll be funny.
Rolled 10>>28044079>5 (shotgun wedding)I don't think showgun exists yet. It would be a crossbow wedding.
>>28044050bonus point if we see it from her perspective.
>>28044050This little girl seems to live here, she can show you around the place, so you grab her and carry her under your arm, despite her protests and weak struggling"Come on Weak twig" You say as you carry her away from the lake "Tell me about this place""PUT ME DOWN" She shouts trying to free her self from your grasp."I will, just tell me about this place first" You say as you walk towards a circle of fences surrounding sand."What's this thing?" you ask."That's to training area" She says "Now put me down, I need new clothes"."I will, I will, but first" You as pointing with your other hand "Why are the bushes so puny over there"."That's the garden" She says "Now will you put me down".What do you do put her down explore the guild (choose where you will go, you remember the heroes guild, right?) throw her into the lake again other
>>28044160Also you can switch perspectives at any time
Rolled 70>>28044160 explore the guild (choose where you will go, you remember the heroes guild, right?)Keep her on our shoulder.
>>28044160> put her downWe should probably like find whoever we're supposed to see and get things rolling.
Rolled 84>>28044187Oh yeah, I forgot, explore the training area.
>>28044160Keep having her escort us around the place, see if we can't find something of value they shipped us out here for.
>>28044160>explore guild with weak twig under arm> switch perspectives
>>28044160Just out of curiosity is the Hero of Oakvale in this?I think that was the title of the first hero anyway explore the guild (choose where you will go, you remember the heroes guild, right?) throw her into the lake againExplore the guild and try to find the leader, but first throw her into the lake
>>28044160Continue exploring the guild with her>[X] Mess hall (steal food with free hand)>[X] Armory (steal axe cane/walking axe)>[X] Dormitory (do not release her despite her change of clothes being so close) >[X] Finally find the person you're supposed to check in with, deal with the paperwork, then walk back to the dorm and deposit our new friend outside our room because we need our privacy)Alternatively we could deposited her back in the lake to make sure the swimming less stuck.
>>28044226Sounds good to me
>>28044160 otherCarry her to her wardrobe. "I wanna see where you live, Weak Twig."
>>28044224Oh, and feel free to switch perspectives for the next post. I'm alright with that.
>>28044226Bet the voice in her head likes being manhandled by us ;)
>>28044235Do you want him to be in this? just be advised he shall be as I remember him, aka a crazy bearded god hobo who murders entire towns and buys the houses let still remains loved by all
>>28044268Dick dastardly was far cleaner than Gunther, Though I am for a scene of giving gunther a bath, I expect the death toll to be at least five
>>28044285Five?Must have caught us asleep
>>28044285So that's how she'll escalate things with her revenge.
Rolled 77>>28044298Or drunk.
>>28044285Unless the voice in his head manages to convince him to get a bath. I wonder if our past life can assume direct control, or if the personalities can merge or something.
>>28044298Probably, 5 sounds like our unconscious kill count.
>>28044325If they caught us drunk we must have been drinking for a long time. Hell, when we get older it's going to be a hell of a challange to get drunk.
>>28044378We'll be drinking whiskey (or the local equivalent) by the keg I'm sure.
Rolled 87>>28044399Or better yet, absinthe.
>>28044399Now I can only imagine us carrying a keg with one arm and using our huge caneaxe to walk with.
>>28044408Remind me, is it more effective to ferment hallucinogen containing material or add it after distillation (I assume the latter)? What I'm trying to say is we can make some potent brews of our own.
Rolled 32>>28044460Later, less chance of altering the hallucinogen agent.
>>28044460Make brews with stuff that might kill lesser men but thanks to our talent we only take the buffs?
>>28044226Astraia Grey......You are currently being carried by Gunther, a strange boy who you haven't seen in your week of living here, you are glad for this small blessing."Nah wat is ah guardan" He asks as he walks through the bushes with a look of amusement on his face. and by through the bushes I do not mean around I mean straight through, he's like a miniature troll.(Well I bet he'll be a bit more pleasant when you get to know him, or not, I can't understand enough of what he is saying to be sure)."Help me" You cry out softly, hoping someone will hear you. "NO NOT THE ROSE BUSHES" a hero cries out. Yes. "Noooooooooooooo" He cries as he falls to the ground sobbing. Gunther finds this amusing.He carries you into the mess hall."Ah dis must be dinae room" He says nodding "Oooh arh does barrals filled wit booze"."I..I think so why" you ask."Oh ah luv tis place" He says as he stomps forward.Soon"Wat is tis place" He asks."The library" You say sadly."Looks like fine kindlin" He says nodding as he walks out the room"OI" He shouts "Whos dis ol sod"."GUILDMASTER" You shout in joy."Ah you must be from knothole glade" the old man says "And my name is weaver young one"."Bah dats a pansy nahm" Gunther says.Weaver smiles."May I ask your name?" he asks."Mah nahm is Gunther" he says "and Me fellow Ballverine hunters put me on a boot with a note on me chest say two here ohs geeld"Oh dear avo no, no, no, NO NONONONO"A balverine hunter?" weaver says patting him on the head "and to be so young, you must be something special". NONONONONO"Ya, outdrank all tha other hunters, and I woke up on a ship" He says nodding."Hmm well you certainly sound strong enough to be a hero, what with killing a balverine bare handed at your age"."Ahm a here oh?" Gunther says smiling "Well dats nice ah suppose".what do you doA sob try and struggle free roll1d100 otherGhug weak twigdo something/ ask something otherdo you wish to be Gunther y/n
>>28044511>sob>see if we can't bum a weapon off him
Rolled 51>>28044511A> try and struggle free roll1d100Ghug weak twigYamete oniisan.
Rolled 61, 13 = 74>>28044511[X} sob[X] Try and struggle free[X] Hug weak twigDid ya hear that? Looks like i'll be staying here for awhileFirst dice is for her getting away and the other is for the strength of our hug.
>>28044511A>Sob "nononononono">struggle to get free(first d100)G>be amused by her struggles>catch the poor twig if she falls (second d100) and scold her for being a klutz>tell the guild master that we promised to get her home earlier and then carry her back to her room
Rolled 92, 28 = 120>>28044599Crap, forgot dice...
>>28044555>>28044616Looks like she gets away
>>28044616You begin to sob and try to struggle free, surprisingly you managed to do so. Only to be caught again. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo"You scream.Gunther dastardly."You hear that twig?" you say laughing at her weak struggles and punches "looks like we can get to know each other a bit more, I mean your the only worthwhile person I've seen since getting off the boat"."I'll get your housing arrangements set up, you'll begin your hero training tomorrow" Weaver says walking around a corner, you hear the cracking of glass soon after words."What's that smell" You say looking down "oh you've set me on fire again".(That means she likes you, I say take her to the lake)What do you do. LAKE LAKE LAKEpat it out with her overly long dress oh slather some mud on it other
>>28044714> LAKE LAKE LAKEThe voice in our head has never steered us wrong before!
Rolled 96>>28044714>pat it out with her overly long dressThat dress can be useful
>>28044714> LAKE LAKE LAKE>pat it out with her overly long dress
>>28044714[X] LAKE LAKE LAKE"If you wanted to go back to the lake so badly you should of said so!"
>>28044734This. Then once we've set her dress on fire head to the lake.
>>28044808Ahhh so that is why her dress is so."AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAH" She scream as her dress catches fire like alcohol covered wood shavings. or not. Well there is a way to fix this."How about a swim?' you ask. she responds by blubbering like a child."I'll take that as a yes" You shout as you begin to run through the guild, Now covered in flames.You nearly run into a man with glowing tattoos, and you set a good bit of the garden on fire. but you manage to make it to the lake, just as it begins to burn"WAAAAAaH" you shout."NONONONONOOOO" Astraia shouts."HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" you Scream as you jump into the lake with a massive splash. its actually quite beautiful under waterwhat do you do stare swim back up throw twig to the shore other
>>28044904>swim back up.>continue swimming lesson from earlier since clealy twig will be doing a lot of swimming from this point forward.
Rolled 86>>28044904> stareStare at her
>>28044904> stareHold her down here with us.
>>28044954Let me amend this>swim back up>stare at her>continue swimming lesson from earlier for reasons aforementioned
>>28044904>>28044960Stare at her, smile, and then wake
>>28044990I do not understand the last part
>>28044990wave* Dammit whiskey stop getting in the way of my typing.
>>28044960You stare at twig, who seems less than happy to be held down underwater, its actually quite funny.Wait what's the shiny stuff in the waterAAAAAAAAAHRAAAAAAAAAGAHAHHAHAHAroll1d100 to avoid passing out from electrocution
Rolled 95>>28045071This one's gonna be fun.
Rolled 31>>28045071AAAAHHHHHLets keep the rage bottled up until the wedding.
>>28045078So, we found the electrocution to be brisk, refreshing and bringing a sweet hint of nastolgia for something we can't quite remember?
>>28045078She tickled us, we tickle her. In da mud.
>>28045091This quest don't wanna jump ship again.
>>28045078If we keep this up we are going to be immune to her will spells.
>>28045091Justice is just muttering "I told you not to set people's shoes on fire. Why didn't you just run." over and over again, isn't she?
>>28045173Its like a love bite. With fire and lightning
Rolled 34>>28045173Cool, will make our wedding easier.
>>28045078AHAHAHAHA this feels good. You smile as the world turns all sorts of fun colors, and you taste something strange in your mouth as your limbs move on their own, twitching and jumping. However this lets twig swim away so you swim after her, smiling. This seems to frighten her as she bolts out of the water faster than a cat. You surface, drinking in some water to get the taste out of your mouthshe is lying face down on the grass near face doorwhat do you do Call out to her throw mud at her roll1d100 get out of the water other
>>28045223> get out of the water"I know twig, there's nothing like a lay in the grass after a nice swim!"
>>28045192Yes she is
>>28045223>[X] Call out to herAsk how she made those fun colors appear.
Rolled 1>>28045223> throw mud at her roll1d100Lets show her our magic.I don't mean penis
>>28045243Probably wondering how Vilany's reincarnation is without class.
>>28045265WELL YOU DO NOW.
>>28045265>Crit fail at throwing mudWhat? Why? HOW?!?
>>28045223>"Ahhahahaha, you're fun twig. Maybe this place won't be so bad after all!" Time to head to our room and crash for awhile, drag her to hers if it's not out of our way since we are a respectable (yeah right) savage
Rolled 26>>28045223> throw mud at her roll1d100Perform CPR on her STAT!
>>28045265Funny, guess what song I just started listening toI'll give you a hint, its http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsBgCYL9Dn8
>>28045265Oh god, you killed her! Wrrrrryyyyyyyy?!?!?!
>>28045331Dio?! what are you doing here
>>28045265You grab some mud, and throw it at twig to wake her up.Astraia grey.....You hear a splashing noise and turn to face the source to seeA rock flying towards youroll1d100
>>28045265oh god is she still breathing
Rolled 36>>28045388Dodge like a butterfly!
>>28045398depends on the next roll
Rolled 83>>28045388DODGE...WITH GREAT JUSTICE
>>28045411You roll to the side, hearing a very loud cracking noise as the stone crashes into the stone wall behind you. You open your eyes and see shards of rocks scattered around the grass. You feel your legs trembling, that nearly hit you."OH KNOW YOU IDIOTS THROW ROCKS TO WAKE ME UP?" A loud voice asks from behind you "WELL, THEN WHAT IS IT, YOU LITTLE FUCKS WANT TO OPEN ME RIGHT?"You turn around to see a large stone bearded face looking very angry.Gunther Dastardly(D..did you just wake up a door."Seems like it" you saywhat do you do throw another rock at the door drag twig away from the door, looks dangerous Swim I smell something cooking other
>>28045484> drag twig away from the door, looks dangerous"My dear mother taught me never to talk to strange house fixtures."
>>28045484Yes I want you to open Door Man
>>28045484Tell the door to open up or we will throw more rocks at him.
Rolled 9>>28045484 drag twig away from the door, looks dangerousGotta save future wife
>>28045484>throw another rock
>>28045484> ask twig if it's common for doors to talk around here.
>>28045484SO I checked what this door gives youMaking Friends, Book of Spells, Howl Tattoo, Elixir of Life
>>28045595Where does the howl tattoo go? It doesn't replace the hunter tat, right?
>>28045595If we're going by the game then we need a lantern. Lacking that, and most sense of danger, I suggest we annoy justice until she sets us on fire again
>>28045623Son, we are going to have some badass sleeves.
>>28045623>>28045623face I do believeAncient Knothole Glade warriors underwent a terrible initiation which required them to hunt Balverines unarmed, and painted in their likeness. Some were said to be so absorbed by its fierceness that they lost all trace of humanity. .....well fucklets just say tradition changed due to crazy wolfmen killing people shall we
>>28045630Clearly we just steal a lantern that is on the side of the road and give it to him.
Rolled 12>>28045668>Clearly we just steal a lantern that is on the side of the road and give it to him.Why not
>>28045565"Twig is it common for doors to talk here?" you ask."OF COURSE NOT!" she shouts back."OI door man" You say "open"."it is not that easy you rude bastard" it says "Your path is dark. Only a light will reveal it. And you are not bright enough.""DID YOU JUST CALL ME STUPID" You shout."YES" He repliesYou pull yourself out of the lake.What do you do grab a lantern shake twig till you catch fire again leave punch the door in the face roll1d100 other
Rolled 16>>28045719> grab a lanternfailing that, just grab twig and point her at the door
>>28045719>Ask if Dick has an answer to the door. He said something about a train or something like that.
>>28045719> shake twig till you catch fire againTwig, I can see the light of ADVENTURE in your eyes, make me bright for the door!"
Rolled 41>>28045719> punch the door in the face roll1d100No you door>spirit CardsGCaptcha want a duel evidently
Rolled 5>>28045719>[X] grab a lantern and punch the door in the face
Rolled 74>>28045719>>28045770Good enough for me.
Rolled 61>>28045719> grab a lantern
>>28045719What if we grab a lantern, shake twig till we catch on fire, and the go punch the door in the face?
Rolled 21>>28045812Burning Finger?
>>28045812It will open as you have a latern
>>28045831What if we smash the lantern on his fat fucking face.
Rolled 54>>28045719> grab a lanternPunch door in the face
>>28045858You stomp away, this riddle is simple, even for you. You grab a lantern and pull it from its home, and stomp back to the door."Ah so you aren't retarded" he says as you prepare to punch him in the face, but he cracks open before you can. Inside is a library, and a pond."Wh..what" twig says staring insidewhat do you do BORING throw the lantern inside otheralso since it appear howl tattoo is the mark of balverine hunters, would you like to have it replace image of the howling balverine (aka move tattoo to face) or keep the sick ass chest tattoo
>>28045936> throw the lanternI doubt any of the books are actually useful, nobody will miss them.
Rolled 83>>28045936> otherGo inside and check out the treasures
>>28045936>>28045936ALSO any ideas for description of archive?
>>28045936Keep chest tattoo>check pond for fish>wander elsewhere
>>28045936Ask the voice its thoughts on the inside. Adventure or furnace?And can't we keep both tattoos?
>>28045936[X] Drag twig inside with us.
Rolled 86>>28045964We woo our future wife through fire, mud and forced swimming lessons.
>>28045964Guther meets Justice 2.0 and they have a lovers spat
>>28045936Keep sickass chest tattoo.>Other - Hand Twig the lantern so we have both fists, and then enter.
>>28045964We make an unwilling friendKeep it simple
>>28045969Well image of a howling balverine is what I thought balverine hunters put on them, howl turns out to be that tattooyour choice, howl goes on the face, which makes it harder to rip our shirt off to reveal it
>>28046029Going to have to keep the chest tatoo. We need it so we have a reason to rip off our ship.
>>28046029Out of curiosity, after the fire how much is left to our and Astraia's clothes? Are we running around naked at this point? I'm actually wondering that. No hyperbole.
>>28046071Your pants are charred, your shirt is a vest. Astraia's dress is in ruins, but still a dress, you just can see her legs now
>>28045972You grab twig and drag her inside. It reminds you of a more pansy version of the forests of witchwood."its beautiful" You say."Do you even know how to read" she asks."uuuuuuh" you say,(You don't, I've never seen you pick up a book)"No?". Astraia's eye twitches."I thought so" She hisses as she tries to free herself from your grasp. then you see it, a glass bottle, just wanting to be drunkwhat do you do leave DRINK DRINK DRINK,, IT MAY BE BOOZE share with twig other
>>28046116> share with twigIf she's supposed to be a friend, she better learn how to get drunk off her ass. Bethany parties hard.
Rolled 29>>28046097>legsLewd>>28046116 otherKeep it for later
>>28046116[X] CHUG THAT SHIT
>>28046116> DRINK DRINK DRINK,, IT MAY BE BOOZE> share with twigChallenge her to a drinking contest winner isn't the loser
Yep share with twig
>>28046129I just remembered Dick used to turn people who angered him into little girls
>>28046116[X DRINK DRINK DRINK,, IT MAY BE BOOZEIt's been forever since we have had a good drink.
>>28046158I kind of want to write a story about the misadventures of Missy and the irish fuck after Dick died.
Rolled 52>>28046158Sorry, that was me.And we would have continued, had we been a will user.
>>28046116> chug most of it then give her a sip (bottom 10% of the bottle)
>>28046194That I can get behind.
>>28046154its so red, and fancy. It has to be some sort of wine, truley this is a glorious day, you got a pie AND wine. You grab the bottle, and pull off the cork"Twig, want to have a bit of Skorm's blood with me" You ask as you take a swig, bah taste like piss."But that stuff is foMMMMMMMMMPH" she begins before you shove the bottle into her mouth draining what little of it remains. You feel healthier, stronger, and angry that it was the cheap stuffwhat do you do smash the bottle leave find your dorm and pass out let twig go (free action) jump in the pond other
>>28046178Its been ten years since Dick saved that world, but missy is a demon so she still may be a loli
>>28046237> smash the bottle> find your dormNah, she can weasel free when we fall asleep or something.
>>28046237[X] Smash the bottle, take a random book, find your dorm, open book, tell Dick to tell us what it says.
>>28046260 find your dorm and pass out"It's n-not like I want to s-sleep next to your s-stache - idiot"
>>28046269I don't know about that. Dick probably knows English, because he was an American (?) cartoon, but I don't think they spoke English in Albion.
>>28046269I like this
Rolled 20>>28046237> jump in the pondWith Twig
>>28046237>(continuing to hold twig)>Smash bottle>Leave cave thing>Swim back to our side of the lake>Find the dorms and pass out>Let go of twig
>>28046269Why not! What could go wrong!And it's funny that we havn't put twig down yet.
>>28046269You smash the bottle on the closest object, your head. You grab a random book from the wall and drag twig out of the strange place. You do not pay attention to her struggle or her cursing of your name. You walk up several things of stairs and through many hallways, but you eventually find a room with the following letters written above it G.U.N.T.H.E.R. You assume it is yours. You throw open the door, throw the book on a table "What does it say voice in my head?" you ask."wait what!" shouts in surprise.(Its a book about making friends)what do you do let go of twig (lessens chances of spontaneous combustion  ask voice to read itgo to sleep  Go eat dinner other
>>28046411> ask voice to read itNow I really do want to see if we can get to sleep without letting her go.
>>28045223> get out of the water>>28045240I like this. We're going to be good friends.
>>28046411> Go eat dinnerWe haven't eaten since PIE. Gunther hungers...
>>28046411also its archived
>>28046411ask voice to read itAfter all, Dick knows that the best way to stab a person in the back is to make them think you're friends so they'll show it to you.
>>28046411> let go of twig (lessens chances of spontaneous combustion
Rolled 82>>28046411> ask voice to read itWhile making sure twig can't escape.
>>28046411Put twig down on a chair and tell the voice to read it to you.
>>28046411>[x] ask voice to read it
>>28046455"voice read it to me" You ask(really, friends are useless damn things, well except Mr. Fritz, he was pretty worth while)"Please" You beg(fine, sit the down and shut up)"Wait you have a voice in your head to?" Twig asks.(.....Fuck....well lets get with the story, first do not punch people)"This book sucks" You say.(second give them gifts, third be friendly, forth threaten to feed them to your zombie horde if they refuse your orders)."That doesn't sound ver" you begin(FIFTH DO NOT INTERRUPT ME, sixth always make sure to use the highest quality ropes when tying them to train tracks)what do you do boring, also I can smell something being cooked pass out Burn the book (via Twig) other
>>28046546Seriously voice the hell is a train
>>28046546>[x] pass outWe tired now
>>28046546also any one interested on dastardly 1 and 2?
>>28046546[X] Time to eat! Also, respond to Twig with a yes that we do indeed have a voice in our head. He is fun if a bit bossy at times.
>>28046546>Inform Twig that according to knothole glade traditions she is now married to you, and then immediately fall asleep.
Rolled 41>>28046580me me me>>28046546 boring, also I can smell something being cookedFOOOOOD
>>28046546>"Boring. Besides everyone knows 'train tracks' don't exist because no one's ever heard'a them! Hmm, I think I smell dinner. Weak Twig (use her full name here) would you care to join me for tis meal?">drop book, acquire Twig and head for the food.
>>28046546> boring, also I can smell something being cooked"Yeah, he sounds like he's got a bigger mustache than me. he must have been a great hunter."
>>28046595No, first she must best you in a drinking contest or you must manage to survive her cooking
Rolled 82>>28046607We survived her cooking us twice.
>>28046607...we'd better start training her liver for conquest
>>28046580I am! >>28046607Sounds fun!
>>28046580Maybe? We talking info drops or side quests here?
>>28046603"Boring" you sigh tossing the book away, causing Twig to whine like a hit dog "Also yeah I do have a voice in my head, he's fun, if slightly bossy, though he keeps talking about things that don't exist, though he sounds like he was a great hunter from the tone he has".then you smell it, cooking meat."Hey, weak twig, would you like to join in eating this meal?" you ask as you drag her towards the dinner room."its not like anything I say will stop you at this point" She sighs before her eyes open wide "WAIT I NEED NEW CLOTHES I CAN'T BE SEEN LIKE THIS"."Bah they'll just get dirty if its anything like knothole glade" you say as you drag the suddenly stronger Astraia "Besides there's no time, if we don't get there fast someone else will eat all the food".What do you do time skip meet the other people your age BEER BEER BEER BEER other
>>28046685>[x] time skip
>>28046685> BEER BEER BEER BEERChallenge her to a drinking contest. Win.
Rolled 26>>28046685> BEER BEER BEER BEER
>>28046685Challenge everyone there to a drinking contest. As is the Knothole Glade way
>>28046715Bingo. Do it.
>>28046653Bethany DastardlyBorn in a world of cogs and gears,Bethany dastardly is often called the father/mother of all villainy, mainly by the few planar travelers who met him/her. He/she was basically the devil. When She/he finally was vanquished by a paladin of the gear, He/She took the entire world of his/her birth down with her.Vilian DastardlyBorn in a world of adventure and magicVilian was a rouge, who had a love for women, fine wine, and finer clothes. He is attributed for genociding at least two races via interbreeding with their females. Said to have the devil's silver tongue, and his spare tongue as well. No one knows what happened when he went into a bedroom with a being of pure energy, and never walked out, but he is worshiped as the god of Casanovas in his home realms
>>28046685>>28046685 BEER BEER BEER BEERTime to challange everyone there.
>>28046750I think the zombie's gramma told us we were a cartoon?
>>28046766We were the third incarnation
>>28046715"OI YOU PANSIES" You shout "DRINKING CONTEST"."is that a child?" one of them asks."Who cares, the booze is free during contests" another says."Oh my liver weeps tears of joy" another fatter one says."Sit down your embarrassing yourself, kid" says a large armored black man.Soonthe only people left standing are you, twig and the rest of the people your age who didn't drink a drop there are two others beside twig, and the large black manwhat do you do challenge thunder to a contest roll1d100 talk to the new people other
Rolled 11>>28046836> challenge thunder to a contest roll1d100There can be only one
Rolled 6>>28046836> challenge thunder to a contest roll1d100
Rolled 20>>28046836I am gonna outdrink you nigga
Rolled 79>>28046836>[x] challenge thunder to a contest roll1d100
Rolled 40>>28046836[X] Challange thunder
Rolled 54>>28046836> challenge thunder to a contest roll1d100DO YOU KNOW WHAT ALWAYS COMES FIRST TO THUNDER? WE SHALL BE THE LIGHTNING!
Rolled 74>>28046836You drink like a cow
Rolled 32>>28046836 challenge thunder to a contest
>>28046866"You there" you shout to the ebony warrior "I challenge you to a drinking contest". He laughs."You're quite brave for someone your size" he says "I accept"."It's your funeral" a tall girl says, she the same color as the armored man.One, two, three, thirty, forty, your vision begins to blur, fifty, si...zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZ.....Astraia Grey"And the winner is thunder" Thunder shouts. Gunther is drooling in his sleep with a silly look on his face, further dirtying the wooden tables."I must admit though, If he manages to grow a bit bigger, he'll give me a run for my gold" He says as he grabs Whisper and leaves into the darkness of night.What do you do wake up Gunther leave other
>>28046937>[x] leaveNow is your chance to get away
>>28046937Forgot my image
Rolled 66>>28046937> wake up GuntherWe can get enough of him now.Its like stockholm syndrome.
>>28046937[X] Drag Gunther to his bed
>>28046937Voice you said you recognized his mustache?Also leave
>>28046937And so begins the annual: Challange thunder to a drinking contest event.
>>28046951also the song I am listening to makes me realize how chaotic it will get later on, especially if the later dastardlys can hear/summon their Predecessors
>>28047013Turns out what we have to worry about isn't Jack of Blades, but our own past us.
>>28046937> wake up Gunther
>>28047027Its one of those vocaloid songs that I am ashamed to admit to listening to. Its about a girl who created nine alternate personalities for love or some shit, ends with all but the original disappearing. I doubt you wish to listen to it
>>28047013You could have the personalities slowly merge over time.
>>28046965You turn to leave, leaving the red headed boy alone with the demon that calls itself Gunther. though before you leave you shock gunther, waking him up. Judging from the sounds, he though red hair did it. As you walk to your dorm, you ponder what Gunther did throughout the day. He seemed to be able to talk to his voice, maybe you could do so as well."Voice, you said you recognized his mustache"(it reminds me of the devil who stole my heart, and also got me kill, though he did have a change of heart at the end)."I'm sure it was very touching" you say.(but he isn't much like that man, that man preferred to let others do his fighting, he also had a slight obsession with trains)"What's a train?' you ask as you open the door and flop on the bed.(I'll tell you later).what do you do Switch back to being gunther in the morning Dream (as Twig or Gunther) other
>>28047173[X] as Twig then Gunther
Rolled 54>>28047173> otherCook a pie for Gunther.
>>28047173>[x] Dream (as Twig)Mixing her past life as a Goddess of Justice and a Princess together
>>28047133I prefer having them be ghost things
>>28047173Sleep now Gunther. Sleep and dream of trains
>>28047222its more likely he's dreaming about beer and balverine made out of frozen beer
>>28047214That just sounds unwieldy. A couple generations down the line and you've got too many people.
>>28047232Aw I was hoping Bethany would show Gunther of his past glories. If only to scare him into obedience
>>28047241You don't hear Vilian and Bethany in Gunther's head. They may or may not be able to interact with the current dastardly, and I'll never forget their names as the current trend seems to be just add another name to the ever growing name list. Besides, imagine fighting not satan with the entire dastardly line, or perhaps creating a world with nothing but Dastardlys and justices
>>28047259>>28047259He/she mightthough that dastardly might be a tad bit batshit crazy
>>28047279personally, I'm more in favor of them being closer to one person throughout the generations. Makes the epic tale of love better honestly.
>>28047303That might happen, just imagine the past dastardlys as being something similar to past avatars, aka ghosts only their resurrections can see, except alot more dickish and less likely to help out or give them buffs
>>280471739000 hours in paint
>>28047355We are the bridge between mortal men and terrors from beyond the stars
>>28047193You're in a pasture, it's nice and peaceful, so very serene. And then comes the shadows, twisting and perverting this beautiful place. There is a sword by your side. You grab it, and feel strong enough to push back the tide of darkness and vileness. You feel the fires of justice burning through your veins. You charge. and then you wake upGunther DastardlyYou're alone, surrounded by the dead and the sound of grinding gears and screeching, horrible, horrible screeching, and let you feel at peace with the world, despite you being the lone soul upon this damned rock, everything is right, let you are alone, why doesn't it hurt, Everything is dark and you are alone, why is it so hot? You begin to panic, and then you awake finding yourself wrapped up in your blanket, covered in a cold swear
>>28047402What do you do breakfast time skip break fast to trainingother
Rolled 59>>28047420> breakfastWe need all the bacon and egg in this guild.ANd not just simply a lot of bacon and eggs, I mean all the bacon and eggs.
>>28047355Honestly I just think it makes the love story of Bethany and Justice less interesting if they finally get together as disembodied voices in two different people's head. Any chance we could "revive" them either through magic of some sort or by having them more directly reincarnate in another world for a proper closure?
>>28047420> time skip break fast to trainingAlso go find Twig. I'm guessing 30 reps while on fire followed by swimming is a good warm up
>>28047420Breakfast>>28047435Eggs, bacon, and beer.
>>28047438Wait aren't we that reincarnation?
>>28047420>[x] time skip break fast to training
>>28047438I vote we directly reincarnate the pair when we go to the Overlord verse. That seems like a suitable venue for their final showdown.
>>28047472>>28047472also its tied between breakfast and training. tie breaking roll?
Rolled 16>>28047498But in the overlord world the heros are dick too.>>28047505even for breakfast, odd for training
>>28047498I kinda want a sim universe.I just wanna see Bethany try to care for his sim self and have a panic attack when it dies
>>28047522tie was broken already
>>28047494Gunther and Astraia are two very different characters than Bethany and Justice.
>>28047505please ignore this>>28047497After a fine breakfast of pig parts and unborn and already born chickens, and copious amounts of beer, you join the three other apprentice heroes in the ring of battle.They areWhisper, sister of the man who beat youTwigand a red hair lad who seems familiar somehowin your hand is a small stickwhat do you do RAAAGH (charge one of them) roll1d100 tear a branch off a tree wait other
>>28047549> tear a branch off a treeGet more weapons. We'll dual-wield if we have to.
Rolled 6>>28047549> RAAAGH (charge one of them) roll1d100Anything else would require a level of subtlety that we just haven't demonstrated before
Rolled 71>>28047549> otherMark our territory. Nah, just kidding,lets >> RAAAGH (charge one of them) roll1d100charge at the red haired one
>>28047549>[X] tear a branch off a treeIf you are going to do something you have to do it right!
>>28047522That was mostly because the Wizard already Corrupted them. They were apparently disgustingly heroic before hand. Also, Fey was outright good, and she'd be the person who's roll Justice would take anyway.>>28047527Not that that's a bad idea, but it doesn't really seem right for a final showdown between the two.
>>28047540YeahGunther is crude and violent, and fun lovingAstraia seems to have gained a few traits of D.D, mainly the magic and the class
Rolled 39>>28047579So, the characters are like mystical siblings?Mystical incest FTW!
>>28047589FUCK SOMEONE CAUGHT ON TO THIS
>>28047579For some reason I see Gunther growing up to be a brewmaster with his large caneaxe.
>>28047579Oh god Gunther is a henchmanDoes that make Astraia our boss?I can dig it
Rolled 30>>28047549Why not tear off a branch and then charge... The red hair lad!
Rolled 45>>28047607Lets make him our spiritual henchman.
>>28047570You grab a branch and tear it from the tree, its a far better weapon than the stickand then>>28047567You charge the red headed one screaming the song of your people. You take a swing, but the bastard rolls out of the way, but you managed to clip his leg, with a sickening crunch.then out of the corner of your eyeyou see a rather long object heading for your headroll1d100
>>28047606>Gunther is the henchmanAfter what we saw today i'm pretty sure it's the other way around.
Rolled 12>>28047629>you see a rather long object heading for your headDefensive roll!
>>28047579Yeah. I like Bethany and Justice much more. To me, those two are the main characters of this tale, and their reincarnations are side characters almost. I mean, you said it yourself at the end of part two, "this is the tale of two fates intertwined, a tale a Villainy and Justice, this is the tale of a washed up Hero and Villain." It may be just me, but this is ultimately their tale, not the tale of their descendants.
Rolled 70>>28047629DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HARM A BALVERINE SLAYER?!?
Rolled 56>>28047629You swing like a drunken balverine!
>>28047675I understand, and I also like Gunther, I will also most likley like the next MC,
Rolled 70>>28047711Yeah, but we have to do something incredible before we allow Gunther to die.
>>28047675I think we should give it time. After all we only just saw these new ones and it seems, to me at least, that these ones will grow on us and the past lives either go crazy(or crazier) or find peace through their descendent. Or we are reading far too deeply into a quest that jumped shark after the first post.
>>28047644You grab it, but it manages to strike you between the eyes, not as hard as it would, but it still hurts. Staring at you is whisper long stick thing held between both hands what do you do Snap it in half Grab it and beat her with it roll1d100 use it to throw her out the ring roll1d100 other
>>28047675I honestly agree. Gunther is an interesting change of pace, but at the end of the day I would like a chance for Justice and Bethany to step into the spotlight and get their happy ending.
>>28047751I am still slightly sour that you have for the most part managed to destroy most ideas I had for Dick.
>>28047629Deflect object's trajectory with branch, nudge head out of general path just in case the branch fails
Rolled 43>>28047762> Grab it and beat her with it roll1d100Only option for Gunther the Bearbarian.
>>28047751Oh, they are growing on me. That doesn't mean that I don't want to give justice and Bethany a chance to have their day at some point.
Rolled 43>>28047779Woop, wrong slot
Rolled 9>>28047762> use it to throw her out the ring roll1d100Let's not forget our other enemies here.
Rolled 76>>28047775Which ones?
>>28047762>>28047762Snap in half.>>28047775Just wait until we return to take over the world again!
Rolled 89>>28047775Here's hoping you get over it and we grow to love the brute that is Gunther>>28047762>[x] use it to throw her out the ring roll1d100
Rolled 87>>28047762Tactical analysis of situation since you have a brief moment
>>28047799Well continuing as dick. I had in no way planned the void, you guys got greedy with your trains, and as such nearly destroyed the world.
>>28047825We were mad with rage and power!
>>28047837This is why ordinary people don't gain that kind of power to stop exactly that sort of thing from happening
>>28047775I'm still somewhat sour that someone managed to screw up my plans to have a traditional villainous wedding because some idiots decided to summon a bunch of trains when I wasn't looking. This whole "voices from the past" instead of direct reincarnation was also not exactly what I was expecting, but oh well. I'll take comfort in the fact that Overlord is under consideration, and remember what Gnarl always says.
>>28047856Thank god we were anything but ordinary!
>>28047802You begin to spin around and around, lifting whisper into the air as you pick up speed. Thunder looks terrified, Weaver watches on impassively, glowing tattoo man seems to be getting off on it."AROUND AND AROUND THE LASS WENT" You begin to sing "FASTER AND FASTER THE LASS WENT, UNTIL SHE FLEW OFF INTO THE YONDER" And with that you let go, sending her carreening into the dirt outside of the ring. Thunder is angry. And someone hit you with a rock, what do you do Hit someone with big stic roll1d100 wait other
Rolled 78>>28047873> Hit someone with big stic roll1d100Duh. Stick and stone may break my bones, but my stick will break yours!
>>28047873>[x] waitWho hit me with a rock? We a befuddled troll
>>28047860Evil always finds a way, and the voices of the past was your choice when you chose strange child, seeing as I didn't think a child with a mustache stood that out on witchwood island
Rolled 18>>28047873Wait for tactical flaw in offence, prepared to parry, quickly noting the others' positions
>>28047825I had honestly expected that when we were "cast out of the void" we'd fall into another one and continue our game with Justice. Wasn't expecting to die and reincarnate at all. Still, as >>28047860 says, evil always finds a way. We'll finish things up with Dick and Justice at a later date.
>>28047900If you try hard enough you could get those two out of Gunther's and Astraia's heads.
>>28047924I now have a new goal.
>>28047924though this may make gunther slightly more rowdy
>>28047924Or Jack of Blades mistakes two hitchhiking beings from the void for two different beings from the void.
>>28047924We must take over the altar of Skorm, the guy does never anyway.
Rolled 49>>28047938This isn't a good thing.You now, I find it odd that Bethany's mother is always an abusive prick. Is she reincarnated too? Does Justice have an equivalent?
>>28047873>[X] waitAsk who him us with the rock? If they tell the truth we will only throw them out the the ring. If not they get a good smashin.
>>28047951Hey, we'd probably be able to control him more effectively from outside our head.
>>28047948Gunther and Astraia vs Dick and justicepossibly because dick would be very pissed off at being forced to live with the very kind of person he hates, and Justice simply because well Astraia might become evil or it will be the old, student vs master bullshit, I don't know
Rolled 49>>28047967Well, what is we got them out of our head and magically united the two voices into a single spiritual entity?
>>28047954Ow another rock, and another one. Who is throwing these damn things.(its the red head, he's hiding behind a training dummy)"thanks voice in my head" You say.Wait, what's that burning smell.roll1d100 to avoid fireball up the ass
>>28047968I more meant that Jack mistakes Gunther and Astraia for the reincarnations of the Jack of Blades and the Queen of blades, and tries to force them out into the world again. Cue unpleasant surprise.
>>28047968To be fair Astraia doesn't seem to listen to Justice that much if the fire feet is anything to go on.
>>28047984true neutral god is a bad thing,
Rolled 97>>28047988Throw dust at the lil witch.
Rolled 40>>28047988Dodge by Ramming the Redhead
>>28047993They are already in the world though, oooh you mean he tries to say"hey lazy fucks go out and conquer again"
>>28048022Make them corporal, give them their own bodies and stuff.
Rolled 56>>28047988Twirl out of the way gracefully
>>28048041OH you mean dick and Justice
Rolled 22>>28048060Dick and Justice, the crimefighting duo!
>>28048009You grab a handfull of sand and toss it behind you while falling to the ground. There is a loud bang, and some sobbing. You look up and see Twig rolling on the ground clutching her eyes."Sand in my eyes" She cries. Well that went better than expected, though it does seem a bit cruel.(Shhhh, her screams are like fine wine). Another rock hits you and you turn around. Hiding behind the burnt remains of a practive dummy is the red headwhat do you do Punch him in the face roll1d100 throw the branch at him roll1d100 other
>>28048060Yeah, Dick and Justice are from the void, not Gunther and Astraia. If the jack of blades has some way to tell (and lets face it he almost certainly does.) he may make an incorrect assumption based on partial evidence. Wouldn't that be a pity?
>>28048090also probably going to end soon, probably just going to finish up this fight
Rolled 74>>28048090> otherBeat him with the remains of the dummy.
>>28048080I think you mean 'criminal fighting' duoIt is still unclear wether they fight criminals or are criminals who fight. Possibly both.
>>28048098I have a feeling dick would abuse the fuck out of itJAAAAAACK more teaYes siras I understand it, jack was the little bitch of the three
Rolled 57>>28048090>>28048111This sounds like a fantastic plan
Rolled 55>>28048090Throw the branch.
Rolled 93>>28048090Dump her in a bucket of water.
Rolled 90>>28048090> throw the branch at him roll1d100
Rolled 83>>28048090Throw a rock back at him, like a true kid
>>28048126Nah, Jack was mid tier. Knight was the weakest, queen the strongest. Although there isn't much known about them, I'm willing to bet Gunther being a direct combatant (like a knight) and Astraia being Will based will further help him make that assumption.
>>28048144Meant to say barrel of water
>>28048156>implying Gunther isn't a muscle wizard
>>28048144You throw the branch at him after thinking about setting him on fire with the practice dummy. it hits him square in the chest and he goes down, coughing and moaning.What do you do rip your shirt off screaming help up twigotherthe next post is the last
>>28048156I think Jack was skill, Knight Strength and Queen will but that's admittedly somewhat conjecture.
Rolled 41>>28048188> rip your shirt off screamingThen> help up twig
>>28048189Though they all had impressive will mastery of course.
>>28048188[X} help twig over to a barrel of water to wash the sand from her eyes.Gunther: Evil & fun all rolled into one!
>>28048188> help up twig
>>28048232>>28048188The greatest combination in the universe
Rolled 77>>28048188[x] Rip off your shirt, followed by beating your chest violently, with a primal roar echoing from your deepest core
>>28048235You grab twig's arm and pat her on the back"Someone get this lass a bucket of water" You say. Whisper is struggling to get up and the red haired lad is currently clutching his stomach, he appears to be about to vomit from the pain.And So Gunther began his training at the heroes guild. It was a hard and brutal training, mostly because he enjoyed beating the ever loving fuck out of everything, he also had trouble grasping any other form of heroic power besides strength at which he excelled past his peers. Despite Astraia's initial protests, they became fast friends, partially because he had no problem carrying vast amounts of books, useless trinkets, and other such things. The red hair lad looked on with a face of jealousy etched on his face, while whisper train constantly to be able to best the ever growing wall the was Gunther. The other heroes grew fond of Gunther, partially because of his accent and annual challenge thunder to a drinking contest. Maze paid no heed to him as he saw him as a simple brute, Weaver treated him like every hero he met, friendly, like an old grandfather. Soon the deep bellowing laughter of Gunther became a part of the everyday life in the guild. And in what felt to be almost no time at all but was in fact nine years, Gunther had grown into a mountain of a young man, nearly being able to stare down on even Thunder.and that's where we'll end it tonight.what do you think
>>28048345Great spot to end and jump to a time skip of when our training is completed.
Rolled 22>>28048345Good spot to end it for tonight. I like Gunther, he's nicer but still villainous.
>>28048345I think Dick just lived through another 9 years of torment.I love it.
>>28048393Here is one paticular moment of his torture.(NO DON'T EAT THAT ITS STILL ALIVE)
Rolled 44>>28048406But its juicier that way!
>>28048345also I blame every last one of those typos on me being tired
>>28048406"It's dead when it comes out anyways, what's the difference?" Also, I'm going to have to demand the access to 'berserk' ability at some point.
>>28048415next thread on sunday 5 ESTI will be very happy if someone makes a version of Gunther's training in similar vein to the hero of oakville's growing up cut scene thing but I do not expect this, so it is a simple dream
>>28048417I will allow it simply because it makes sense, also assassin's rush, as I don't see those as will abilities
>>28048431I have to say it quite funny that through our training at the guild I don't think we were seen as very "Evil"A brute maybe, but not evil. This is going to be good.
>>28048442Yes, berserk is a must.Berserk was the 'only evil heroes can master' ability in fable in the first place and it wrecked everything horribly.The only other one I can remember was life drain, which in all honesty was not that great.
Rolled 16>>28048442Perhaps multistrike too?
>>28048482Perhapsalso want to hear the red hair lad's name?
>>28048459Morality alignment: Dethklok
Rolled 14>>28048513Why not?
>>28048513Sure! Sounds good to me.
>>28048521>>28048527Greggory Fritzthe newest in the long line of bastards of a certain planar traveling Casanova
Rolled 38>>28048534>28048534Don't tell me Fritz finally became someone!
>>28048534>Greggory Fritzhuh, that names seems fami....>FritzMR. FRITZ!
Rolled 70>>28048582I hope we can properly congratulate him one day.
>>28048602He will reappearpic possibly related
>>28048516We have the exact same disregard for our fans.
Million hours in paint
>>28048345Excellent run (which I sadly passed out near the end of) OP! I'm really digging the change of flavor in the main character (now more an amoral, Dethklok aligned force of nature than traditional cartoony villain) that came with the change in setting. It's cool that as we explore more worlds we'll get to assume new forms of villainy/evil as well, but I hope we stick with Gunther for awhile. This place and these characters have so much potential. Anyhow, just wanted to thank you for running this MT, I had a lot of fun as I think you can tell.