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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: 1385457895345.jpg-(35 KB, 800x600, Loserquest.jpg)
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Your name is JOHN JELLISON and you are a LOSER. You were born a loser, you've lived a loser life, and God willing you will die a loser, in the lamest death one can imagine. Let's take a look at an average day in your pathetic life.

It's 6:30 AM and your Magical Rainbow-chan alarm-clock goes off.

"O HAI YO, ONII-CHAN!"

Even though you are thoroughly disappointed that you did not die peacefully in your sleep, the saccharine tones of Rainbow-chan (who is secretly Akemi of Class C) lure you to consciousness. Out of habit, you begin to dress yourself for school. Oh boy! Another day of wonderful public education!

As you stretch the elastic over your paunch, you take a look around your room. All of your figurines are in pristine condition, even the one of Lyrical Mai that you decided to hotglue last night. The posters of Star Mech and Pretty Warrior Marine Marianna are just where they should be. Your Ganpla models are still renacting that famous scene from Agile Armor Ganbam (which only true aficionados like yourself would remember) Your monitors cycle through your 2Lewd folders, clearly having gone into sleep mode overnight. One, however, flickers to life.

What's this!?

You scramble over to the computer. Oh ho! It looks like the latest episode of Idolc@ster has finished downloading. And this is the Chisa episode! If only you didn't have class!

But wait, couldn't you just skip? Or maybe you could cram it on your laptop and take your lovely ladies to go?

>Diligently go to class.
>Skip class and watch Idolc@ster at home.
>Load your Idolc@ster episodes onto your laptop and hit the town.
>>
>>28504338
>>Load your Idolc@ster episodes onto your laptop and hit the town.
>>
>skip class and make a shitty quest thread on 5chin
>>
>Load your Idolc@ster episodes onto your laptop and hit the town.
Time to spaghetti.
>>
>>28504338
>Skip class and watch Idolc@ster at home.
TRUANCY OFFICERS CAN SUCK MY DICK
>>
>>28504338
>>Skip class and watch Idolc@ster at home.

Be the Mark
>>
You shouldn't keep an idol locked away like this! You load not only your latest episode, but the entirety of the Idolc@ster series onto your laptop and sling it into your bag! Screw class, screw the system! Aidorus wait for no man!

You quickly dress in your oversized pants and jacket and head out, only giving an ungrateful grunt to your parents as you scramble out into town. You'll need to share this experience with your fellows, so you head over to the nearby coffee shop. You don't like coffee. Or shops. But the wifi is free and 5chin needs to know about your expert opinions on this episode.

You reach the coffee shop and tuck yourself away in a little corner, hanging your head and facing the monitor away from both the wait staff and any other people who may be approaching. Carefully, you set up your equipment and begin to watch, minding your headphone's cable the whole time.

You quickly find the general thread on /ja/ and begin to shower them with your expert opinions as you watch.

...What.

WHAT?!

These faggots don't like Chisa!?

But Chisa is clearly the purest idol! These philistines!

>Call them faggots
>Spam the thread with Chisa pics
>Ignore them and focus on the episode!
>>
>>28504493
>Call them faggots

Always works
>>
>>28504493
>Call them faggots
FUCK YOU GUYS, CHISA IS MY WAIFU
>>
>>28504517

chisa a shit
>>
>>28504547
FAGGOT, YOUR TASTE IS SHIT
I BET YOU LIKE THAT COCK-GUZZLING SLUT MANAMI
>>
Fuck these guys! Chisa is your waifu!

You hammer away on your keyboard, bombarding them with empty rhetoric and juvenile insults.

What's the matter? Chisa too pure for you? Can't appreciate perfection!?

Your fingers are like stubby, slightly greasy machineguns, firing away shell after shell of shitposts and low-level discourse. Just when you think you might be winning by sheer volume of posts, someone crosses the fucking line. They call your waifu a flat slut and begin to dump images of filthy doujins with her covered in smegma. Though you are tempted to save these pics for research purposes, your righteous indignation beats back your lower instincts. You immediately stand up with the intent to smash your fist upon your keyboard.

However, your headphone cable is too short, and it is immediately drawn taught! Time slows down for you. You know if you continue this action, you'll rip the cable from your laptop and the entire coffee shop will hear Chisa's beautiful song! You pass your eyes over the crowd. There's nothing but trendy, tanned, healthy folk in here. Damn them! Fuck those sheep! They'd never understand Chisa's beauty.

You strain yourself, trying to stop what has already begun! But the question is...can you?

Roll a Save vs Spaghetti! 1d20-2. DC18.
>>
Rolled 17 + 2

>>28504589
MUST NOT SPAGHETTI.
>>
>>28504603
You FAIL!
>>
Rolled 6 + 2

>>28504589
>>
>>28504589
>>
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>>28504610
>>
>>28504589
>18
>thank the Emprah
>>
Alas, it is too late! With a guttural cry not unlike a constipated walrus, you vocalize your despair as the headphones are jerked free from the jack.

"Motto, chotto, ippai Kyun~!!"

You quickly reach down and smash the mute button on your laptop. Sweating heavily, you look up, the hairs of your neckbeard standing on end. All of the eyes in the shop are upon you. One in particular, the waitress who has often brought you the hot chocolate with whipped creme, locks eyes with you. Upon her face is a look of sheer disdain and disgust, as if you had just pissed on her leg.

There's nothing but silence. You want to run, but you can't move! You can't move! You raise a jittery hand and try to shut your laptop, but you just end up turning the volume back on. Chisa's song echos through the shop.

Well, that's that. You can never come here again.

>Give up and go to class already
>Go home. You didn't deserve this
>Go hide behind the library like you always do.
>>
>>28504671
They'll find us at the Library and mom and dad are still home.

To class.
>>
>>28504671
>>Give up and go to class already
>>
>>28504671
>Give up and go to class already
Time to spaghetti in class as well.
>>
You decide that with everything as screwed up as it is, you might as well just go to class. Quickly, and permanently, leaving the coffee shop behind, you run to your High School.

About thirty minutes later, you're sitting by yourself in the front office.

Damn! What's their problem! You showed up, didn't you?! Why do they have to make you sit here like this!?

You peer around the room. The receptionist just shakes her head at you when your eyes meet, causing you to focus on the grey and blue carpet. In the next room, the assistant principal is on the phone with your parents, and he doesn't look very happy. Standing in front of you is the coach. His impressive frame towers over you. The sheer pressure of this man's presence keeps your head down and your chin tucked in.

Eventually, the Assistant Principal comes over and pulls up a chair.

"So, what were you thinking cutting class like this? You think you're special or something?"

>Object feebly
>Apologize profusely
>Clam up
>>
>>28504769
>>Clam up
This isn't an interrogation, we won't tell them anything.
>>
>>28504769
>Object feebly
OINK OINK, PIGGY
>>
>>28504769
>>Clam up
>>
>>28504769
>object feebly

But... But... I just couldn't hold all those spaghetti!
>>
>>28504769
>Clam up

He'll get no words from us.
>>
You want to say something, anything, but all that escapes your mouth are a few faint whispers.

"What's that, boy? Speak up!"

The coach leans into you, shoving his face in yours. God, his breath smells! Spittle lands on your cheek and you look down, turning red. Once more, you try to give them an excuse, but you just can't force anything out. Your knuckles turn white and you think you might die of embarrassment.

The Assistant Principal stares at you harshly, then puts a hand to his head and just sighs.

"Just...get him out of here."

The Coach yanks you up from your chair and starts pushing you along through the hallways. It takes all the energy you have to not cry as you curse him over and over again in your head. Eventually, though, you are taken to your class and put on display for everyone.

Your homeroom teacher seems uninterested in your plight as the coach gives you a verbal dressing down in front of the whole class. You can see the girls laughing at you. Damn them! Damn them! Chisa would never laugh at you! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!

Save vs Spaghetti! No penalty this time! DC 16
>>
Rolled 13

>>28504869
'ere we go!
>>
Rolled 7

>>28504869
FOR JUSTICE!
>>
Rolled 11

>>28504869
I feel like I'm being sucked into a black hole here.
>>
>>28504882
YOU FAIL
>>
Rolled 16

>>28504869
The spaghetti shall flow.
>>
>>28504891
Sorry dad...
>>
>>28504869
I am intellectually superior!!
>>
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>>28504891
Don't need a crystal ball to see where this shit is going.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8g9O5Nd6dmc
how about you stop being spaghetti, gain the strength of Arkan and remove them like the dirty kebabs they are
>>
Rolled 2

>>28504869
>>
Rolled 18

>>28504920
welp
>>
Shit! Your composure, or whatever passes for it, is fading! The coach insulting you and the girls laughing at you. It's...it's just too much! Even though you were trying so hard, even though you've dealt with this sort of thing before...

A single tear escapes your eye, and you flush a beet red.

"..What? Is he crying?"

"Oh my god he's crying!"

"I can't believe this!"

The girls pounce upon your weakness, feasting upon your embarrassment and emasculation like piranhas. What was a single tear is now twin streams running freely from your eyes. Snot bubbles from your nose as you solemnly walk to your seat, dead in the middle of the room, facing the jeers and riotous laughter of your peers.

Damn them! You'll show them one day! You'll show them!

...Once you get out of high school, anyway.

>Keep your head down for the rest of the day.
>Sneak out for lunch when the bell rings. You need it.
>Write your revenge fantasies out in your notebook.
>>
>>28504948
>>Write your revenge fantasies out in your notebook.
Fuck those bitches, I'll get revenge on them someday.
>>
>>28504948
>Write your revenge fantasies out in your notebook.
>>
>>28504948
>>Write your revenge fantasies out in your notebook.

Remember to include shitty illustrations.
>>
Rolled 8

>>28504929
>>28504948
And just when we needed an 18
>>
Fuck them, fuck them, fuck them!

Your pencil comes down hard on the paper as you plot out how you're going to get all those bitches back some day. You'll do it just like they do in your favorite doujins. First you'll acquire a high potency aphrodisiac! Then you'll get close to them, and drug them! After that you'll just rape them over and over again until they're addicted to your cock.

Yeah, yeah! That's right! You draw crude little stick figures enacting your sick, depraved ideas. Screw them, screw them good! Right up their--

"Um..."

You snap, covering your notebook with both hands. What?! Who!? Your turn to the source of the voice, wild-eyed and fearful.

"You know school is over, right?"

It's...Charlotte, right? You remember her being on the student council or something. You didn't vote, of course. Politics is too dirty a business.

"Hello?"

Fuck, she's not going away. Think, think, think!

>Try to nod
>Try to say thanks.
>Put it in.
>>
>>28505014
>"Y-you too."
>>
>>28505014
Try to nod
>>
>>28505014
>Try to say thanks
>>
>>28505014
>>Try to nod

Let the head bobbing commence.
>>
>>28505014
>>28505027
>>
>>28505027
>>28505044
It's time to go off the rails.
>>
>>28505014
>Put it in.
>>
>>28505014
>>28505027
Time to ESCAPE OUR DESTINY
>>
Y-yeah, you too. That's what you're supposed to say, right? Wait...

Charlotte looks at you and smiles. Good that was right, that was good. She looks happy. Or wait. Looking closer, you see her smile is strained, her knuckles are white, and...is she grinding her teeth?

Fine! Fine! You can take a hint. If it's that much of a bother to even say hello to you, maybe you shouldn't even come to school ever again! You collect your things quickly, refusing to even look at her. In your rush, you knock over a few desks and fall. You try to get up several times, but you keep tripping and pulling your own shoelaces.

Eventually, a small delicate hand is placed in front of you. You look up. Charlotte is still here? The warm rays from the setting sun enter the room, and her features are cast in a golden light. Huh...those freckles are kind of cute...

NO!

You shake your head.

No! No! No!

She laughed at you! She cringed at you! She's like the rest of this godforsaken place! You push her aside and run from the building. You leave it behind and never look back.

You drop out of school the next day.

(Short intermission for snacks and cigarettes)
>>
>>28505027

This. The fight back begins!
>>
>>28505099
This is going to end with arson, calling it.
>>
>>28505115
I thought it was going to end with a school shooting.
>>
>>28505099
What kind of snacks?
>>
>>28505132

Was considering this.
>>
>>28505132
>>28505143
My guess is Columbine, but...he's a f/a/g,
>>
This is the best quest ever.
>>
>>28505115
>>28505132
I thought we were going to find Charlotte staking somebody to a wall.
>>
8 years later...

In the end, you were eventually forced to go back to high school, but you never saw Charlotte ever again. You graduated with unremarkable grades, and eventually went to an unremarkable college. After flunking out twice due to non-participation, you're finally back on track with your degree. Just a couple weeks to go before you can graduate and finally get your degree in Liberal Arts (Japanimation!) and go live in glorious Nippon where you belong. They won't mock you there! They won't judge you there! Plus, you'll be able to get all your merchandise without the horrendous shipping fees!

"Goshujin-sama, Okite kudasai~"

Ahh, Perfect Meido Puddi-chan. Once again, her lovely voice wakes you from your slumber. With all your coursework done, all you need to do is email the professor your papers and get your degree. Your little apartment is practically covered with paraphernalia. Wall scrolls, posters, figmas, onaholes, doujin, manga, video games (only superior Visual Novels, though) are spread out in a chaotic fashion. You're finally at peace, and no longer have to deal with the glares of your family for your hobbies.

You notice that some mail has been slipped through the slot. Getting off of your futon, you go to read it.

"Dear Son..." blah blah blah blah "..we won't support your lazy lifestyle anymore. Get a job!"

W-what?

>Have a panic attack. Watch anime for the rest of the day to calm yourself down.
>Put it off to tomorrow. Go to DiDi's Pizza and pig out.
>Go look at online job boards
>>
>>28505261
>They won't mock you there! They won't judge you there!
WHITTU PIGGU GO HOME
>>
>>28505261
>Have a panic attack. Watch anime for the rest of the day to calm yourself down.
>>
>>28505261

Put it off to tomorrow.
>>
>>28505261
Go look at online job boards
>>
>>28505261
>Put it off to tomorrow.
>>
>>28505261
Email out shit to the professor and PANIC.
>>
Oh god a tie
>>
>>28505261
>>Go look at online job boards
>>Lose interest half way through
>>
You pull it together. It...it won't be so bad, right? Just, just gotta get a job. Ha ha.

Immediately, you get the urge to drown your sorrows in cheap, nearly stale, all-you-can-eat pizza. You mail the last of your coursework out, get dressed, and head out to your car. Just looking at your vehicle, with the hood and side panels adorned with your waifu, Chisa, takes some of the edge off. Feeling a bit calmer, you decide you can put the job search off to tomorrow. Today is for enjoying yourself!

It's just a ten minute drive down to the local DiDi's. You go through your usual routine of mumbling for a buffet and drink combo, passing them the debit card which was (previously) filled with your parent's money. $7.99 for 40 or more slices of pizza? That always sounded like a good deal to you.

Immediately, you dive in. Barbeque Chicken Pizza! Hawaiian Pizza! Spinach Pizza...maybe not...

As you feast, you find that you're attracting some stares. That's odd. You come here all the time, shouldn't this be normal by now...

You look up to see Charlotte. It doesn't look like she's aged a day.

"John?"

Save vs Spaghetti +1 bonus for pizza! DC 16
>>
Rolled 16 + 1

>>28505444
Trips to not spaghetti.
>>
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>>28505461
>>
Rolled 6 + 1

>>28505444
>>
>>28505461
You PASSED!
>>
>>28505489

Hurrah!
>>
Rolled 16 + 1

>>28505444
SUP BITCH
>>
You manage to not choke on your pizza, instead properly swallowing the bite you had. You don't remember to wipe your mouth, however.

"It's been so long, John. I thought something bad happened to you after that last time we met."

Charlotte sits down at your table, setting down her own plate with...the same pizzas you have! Wow, that's great taste! After a moment, Charlotte sidles up to you. Shit. Too..too close!

"How have you been? I was worried, you know?"

You were much better before she got here! Fuck, how do you speak again? You fumble around with your mouth before finally committing to an answer.

>G-good.
>O-okay.
>Freeze
>>
>>28505541
>Y-you too.
>>
>>28505541
>>O-okay.
>>
>>28505541
>G-good.
Wipe mouth as well
>>
>>28505541
>Freeze
>>
>>28505541
You were? Why? Also I didn't see you at school
>>
>>28505557
>>28505557
>>28505557
>>
>>28505541
>G-good.
no more spaghetti, Johnny.

No tears now, only dreams.
>>
>>28505557
>>
Y-you too. Wait, shit! That's what you said last time. You see Charlotte's eyebrow twitch. God damn it!

You immediately get up and begin powerwalking towards the door as fast as your emaciated legs can take you. You've got to get out of here. You don't even look at the DiDi's manager offering you the coupon booklet as you storm out. And you fucking love that coupon booklet!

"Wait! John!"

Charlotte calls after you. Normally you'd be touched but now she's just making a scene. God damn it! You've got to get out of here! Get someplace safe! You need to go find your Chisa doll and go rewatch Idolc@ster Shiny Fiesta!

You burst out of the door and head for your car, but in your haste, you step on the heel of one of your shoes. Before you realize it, you've stepped out of your shoes and left it behind. The manager steps out behind you and picks up your shoe, then looks at you.

No, no, no. Don't say anything.

"Sir...is this your--"

No! It's not your shoe! You've never seen it before!

Still shouting, you jump into your car and pull away, the panic finally subsiding when you're 10 miles clear of the establishment.

Great...now what?

>Go look at those online job boards
>Console yourself with Chisa-chan
>Maybe Wally World is hiring...
>>
>>28505683
>Online job boards

Internet fun time
>>
>>28505683
>Go look at those online job boards
Resolve never to say "You too" ever again.
>>
>>28505683
Only Chisa-chan knows our woes.
>>
>>28505683
>>Go look at those online job boards
>>Console yourself with Chisa-chan
>>
>>28505683
>>Go look at those online job boards
>>
You head home. No way you can deal with the outside world any more today. After heading inside, you immediately grab your Chisa dollfie and begin to groom it, taking care of all the odds and ends. You brush out her long, dark blue hair, switch out her normal miniskirt for her winter outfit (much classier, so tasteful), and apply the manufacturer approved lip liner and blush. Looking good, Chisa-chan!

With that out of the way, you come to the realization that you can't protect Chisa without money and resolve yourself to get a job...online anyway. You immediately bring up Brawnster and fill out dozens of applications for management positions and assistant professorships. You know, jobs you're clearly qualified for.

This will surely go well...

Several weeks later, you have heard no word back from any of those employers. Your bank account is running dry, and you've gone a whole week without ordering a new doujin. You feel emotionally starved! Is this...is this what dying is like?

You are sprawled out on the floor, looking at the screen of your laptop. You are totally naked, having not bothered to put on clothes for the last three days. Your butt itches.

You know you can't continue like this, you just can't, so you bite the bullet and...

>Apply for that dead end data entry job.
>Apply for that dead end assistant librarian job.
>Apply for that dead end IT hotline job.
>>
>>28505814
>Apply for that dead end assistant librarian job.
such book
so paper
wow.
>>
>>28505814
>Apply for that dead end data entry job.
Because who wants to be a librarian or work on an IT hotline
>>
>>28505814
>>Apply for that dead end assistant librarian job.
Then we can apply for the IT one after we get fired for staining all the books with spaghetti.
>>
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>>28505835
>>
>>28505835

This.
>>
>>28505814
>>Apply for that dead end data entry job.
>>
You like Manga, right? And Light Novels? And Visual Novels? Those count as books, right? Clearly, the assistant librarian job is the job for you. You psyche yourself up as best as you can and fill out the online application. You wisely remember to suppress your power-level when filling out the personal questionnaire, erasing all signs of your love for the art of the orient. Though it pains you greatly, this is the cross you must bear for Chisa-chan and the goddesses in your life.

The next few weeks fly by quickly. You're called back, and asked to take the civil servant exam. Passing it with flying, middle of the road scores, you're accepted into the position after a short interview where you didn't speak a word. You begin your first day of work with a bit of pride. Finally, you'll be a contributing member of society.

Your boss, a crotchety old woman in her 70's, sizes you up as you report for duty.

"Alright, Jelli, start shelvan'."

You open your mouth to protest, but she snaps back at you.

"You say something!?"

>N-no.
>Begin work immediately.
>I-I thought I'd be working with computers...
>>
>>28505945
>Begin work immediately.
Hang fedora in shame.
>>
>>28505945

> Begin work immediately.

DO IT WELL.
>>
>>28505945
>>N-no.
>>
>>28505945
>Begin work immediately.
Alright, let's do this shit
>>
You immediately look away and begin working, cursing yourself internally for your cowardice. If Chisa were here. If only Chisa were here! Chisa wouldn't tolerate this bullying!

"Good, Jelli, keep up that pace. There's more carts where that came from."

You grit your teeth and bear it. This is all for Chisa. This is so you can have a life free from all the hateful people. And really, will it be so bad? The Library is so quiet after all.

You look around. There are only a handful of people, including you and your boss, in the library. Most aren't looking at you. And there's the wonderful silence and lack of pressure. Maybe...maybe you can do this after all.

You begin to hum Chisa's signature song, Chisai Tori, to yourself as you work. You're feeling pretty good!

"No humming!"

You immediately stop.

4 years pass by...

You've been working at the library for a long time now. Your boss doesn't even acknowledge you when you walk in anymore. It's just come in, sit at the dusty desk to log your hours, and then shelf books from that damn cart all day. It's not a bad life, but it's not what you wanted either. You still have nobody but Chisa and your entourage of 2D women to console you, but it..it isn't so bad.

You punch out for the day and head outside. The Library is such a short distance from your house that you walk every day. It's night, almost midnight. That's no good. It'll be your birthday tomorrow, and you still need to get yourself a cake. You don't want to have to leave the apartment on your day off so you make a trip to Wally World on foot.

You think to yourself about what flavor you want this year

>Chocolate
>Butter Yellow
>Rum and Raisins
>>
>>28506084
>Chocolate
>>
>>28506084

Rum and Raisins.
>>
>>28506084
>Whichever Chisa thinks is best. Tulpa's know best, after all.
>>
>>28506084
No cakes. What's the point?
>>
>>28506084
>The flavor of Friendship
>>
Yeah, that would be a good flavor. Caught up in thought, you don't realize that you're about to run into someone until it is too late. You bump into the stranger and fall to the ground. You're about to apologize, but then you look up.

It's Charlotte. She still looks the same as ever, but there's...something wrong with the way she's looking at you.

"There you are, John. I've had just about enough of this cat and mouse game."

You open your mouth to speak.

"And if you even dare say that pathetic 'y-you too' again, I'll rip your tongue right out of your head!"

You close your mouth.

Something is indeed very wrong with Charlotte. What's her problem? You just...had some awkward conversations is all.

"There's no time. Get in the alley," she points to a nearby dark path.

What? You don't understand. You begin backing away from her.

"Get in the alley now!"

>Obey her
>Run away
>Stand your ground
>>
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>>28506154
Oh this is going to go well.
>Obey
>>
>>28506154
>Y-you, too.
Grab her and go in the alley.
>>
>>28506154
>Stand your ground
What the fuck Charlie?
>>
>>28506154
>Obey her
>>
>>28506154
>Obey her
Yeah, sure, why not. We can turn Charlotte into our new dakimakura.

It puts the lotion on the skin or else it gets the hose again.
>>
>>28506154

Like our jelly-knee self is capable of anything approaching defense or even defiance. We obviously have to do as we're told.
>>
>>28506154
>obey her
Shit just got real
just like our chineses cartoons!
>>
>>28506154
>inb4 rape
>>
>>28506154

> Obey. Do it.
>>
She looks really upset. Maybe going along with her for now is the best idea. You go into the alley and Charlotte follows behind you. After you get about 20 feet in she grabs you by the shoulder, hard. The pain causes you to freeze in place.

"That's far enough. Now, turn around."

You do as you're told, turning to face her. When you turn around, Charlotte is busy taking her clothes off. Her coat, then shirt are dropped to the ground in short order. Reflexively you turn away.

"What time is it?"

You blink, still confused.

"What time is it!?"

You check your watch. It's 11:58.

"Two minutes to midnight? How cliche. Alright, let's get this over with. Take your pants off."

You can't move. Your eyes are fixated on the ground, unable to look out of fear and confusion.

"Fucking hell, do I have to do this too?" Charlotte then reaches over and grabs your waistband. Suddenly, you know where all this is going.

...No.

No, you didn't want it like this. You wanted it to be pure, loving, with someone you admired! Not in a cold back alley with some psychotic near-stranger. You wanted it to be with Chisa!

You hear a dull thud, and then a crash. The tension on your waistband relaxes and you dare to look up. Standing before you is...Chisa? She turns to you, in that winter outfit you love so much with the snowflake design and the gentle blue tones and...

"Run away!"

What?

"Just go! I'll explain later!"

Well, if Chisa says so...

>Run out of the Alley
>Run further into the Alley
>Try to climb a fence
>>
>>28506239

Try to climb a fence.
>>
>>28506239

>collapse into a puddle of spaghetti
>>
>>28506239
>Run out of the Alley
>>
>>28506239
>Try to climb a fence
WE CAN DO IT IF CHISA SAYS SO.
>>
>>28506239
>Run further into the Alley
We're just delusional right now
We're gonna run, she's gonna scream rape
At least make it hard for us to be noticed
>>
>>28506239
Climbing a fence is not a good idea, and running further into the alley would just get us trapped.

>[x] Run out of the alley
>>
>>28506239

Try to climb a fence, or morph into pasta with tomato sauce.
>>
>attempt to climb fence, yell RAEP
>>
>>28506239
>Try to climb a fence
For Chisa!
>>
File: 1385468917465.jpg-(190 KB, 704x396, 1315013372999.jpg)
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190 KB JPG
>>28506239
Oh lawdy.
>>
You decide to climb a fence! You scramble over a nearby chainlink fence, throwing yourself over the side and landing headfirst into the gravel. Momentarily dizzied, you are distracted from your flight long enough to see Chisa and Charlotte...fighting? With weighty blows that shake the asphalt beneath you, you can see the two women in a slugging match. Chisa is faster and striking true, but Charlotte doesn't seem to care. In fact, you can't even see a bruise on Charlotte.

You want to help Chisa. You really do. But Charlotte is scaring the hell out of you right now! You stand up and start running across the empty lot towards the next fence, trying your best to surmount the obstacle. Again and again, you climb the fences, sure that you're leaving Charlotte in the dust! Feeling more confident, you jump the last hurdle, only to find Charlotte waiting for you. Her freckled skin is without a single mar nor cut, but she holds a bloodied Chisa by the hair.

"Run..." Chisa coughs and sputters. Shitshitshitshitshit...What are you going to do? Charlotte drops Chisa and begins sauntering toward you.

>Hop the fence
>Try to scoop up Chisa
>Attack Charlotte.
>>
>>28506311
>Try to scoop up Chisa
Chiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
>>
Rolled 1

>>28506311
>Attack Charlotte.
FUCK THIS BITCH UP
CHIIIIIIIISAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>
>>28506311

Our waifu has been defiled and battered by the enemy! TO ARMS!

> Attack Charlotte, if we win, scoop Chisa
>>
>>28506321
> You can hear the laughter of the dice gods
> Huehuehuehuehue
>>
Rolled 5

>>28506324

forgot roll
>>
>>28506319
>>28506321
CEEEEEESAAAAAAAR
>>
>>28506311
>>Hop the fence
>>
>>28506311
>Attack Charlotte.
CHARGE, FOR OUR NECKBEARD PROTECTS US!
>>
Rolled 20, 16, 12, 17, 19 = 84

>>28506311

Flurry of blows activate?
>>
Rolled 16

>>28506356
ROLL FOR THE GODS OF ROLLING
>>
>>28506364

This IS loser quest, I assume we're a monk?
>>
>>28506385
With those rolls we are now
>>
File: 1385469697514.jpg-(168 KB, 870x732, LoserMagicUser.jpg)
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You're afraid. You're scared. You're confused. You're hopelessly outmatched. But...Chisa lies bloody before you, at the hands of some 3D Pig. Chisa has been the only good thing in your life for over a decade now. You can't...you can't let this slide!

Nervously, you put up your fists. Charlotte raises an eyebrow and laughs at you.

"Please. The faggot who cried in front of the whole class is going to fight me? Why don't you just give up? Would a quickie be that bad?"

You can't even think about something like that now. You dig your fingers so deep into your palms that your hands ache and burn. Blood drips from your closed fists and you clench your teeth. Drawing your fist back, you decide that even if it means nothing, you'll put your everything into this one punch. All your humiliation, all your frustration, all your despair, and all your love for Chisa.

Crying out the name of your waifu at the top of your lungs, you dash forward, faster than you ever thought possible and plant your fist into Charlotte's chest. For a few seconds, there is nothing. Of course. A loser like you could never accomplish anything. But then...you hear a cracking sound. You look to Charlotte's ribcage to see cracks and faults running all through her torso, each filled with a golden light.

"Damn," Charlotte says, without a hint of pain, "I guess I failed."

With that, Charlotte's body explodes into dust leaving you confused. You look to Chisa, who has a triumphant look on her face. You start babbling questions. How? Who? What?

She laughs, shaking her head.

"It's simple. You've reached your 30th birthday. And you're a virgin, right?"

You blush and turn away.

"You're a wizard, Jelli."
>>
Possibly in the past also, but it seems that given the proximity of losing our virginity, we have experienced a psychotic break.

Clearly, we are a total loser.
>>
>>28506423
Best ending ever.
>>
File: 1385469795741.jpg-(3 KB, 284x177, 1356405621519.jpg)
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>>28506423
>wizardry obtained
Oh boy.
>>
>>28506423
>be a wizard
You said this would be a loser quest on the QTG
Wizards are the winners.
>>
>>28506464
In fairness, I also wanted to do 30 year old wizard quest too.
>>
>>28506423
...
wow
>>
File: 1385470215680.jpg-(241 KB, 647x1000, 1257420666193.jpg)
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Rolled 10

>>28506423
>>
>>28506423
Groriousu!
>>
Archived for your pleasure. Now I'm going to head to bed.
>>
>>28506480
What about your roots, man? What about making a TRUE LOSER quest?
>>
>>28506542
will there be more?
>>
>>28506609
Maybe. This was mostly done on a whim.

>>28506551
I had the wizard idea first. Jelli's a real loser, though.
>>
>>28506659
S-so this is the end?
I'd like this to continue, there are so many questions to be answered
>>
>>28506423
Wait so was Charlotte a Succubus or something?
>>
>>28510349
I guess. either way, I hope to see more of this quest.
>>
>>28506423
Holy shit, I am in tears
>>
Several people said it couldn't be done.

>>28503759

The prophecy has been fulfilled.


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