here we go

>>28578883
>Error: No dice roll registered

Rolled 84

>>28578928
Rolling,

Rolled 28

Alright.

Rolled 7

>>28578839

Rolled 9

>>28578839
Rollan

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>>28578937
>Roll 84 - Failure

The intense pain mounting from the cold and the sudden jolt of release combine and force you to vomit in to the Bacta tank.
Lights begin to flicker in the tank, you see a faint red tinge in the Bacta in front of your face, and through that you can see the walls of a tunnel through which the tank module is moving.

A sudden change of direction jolts you within the tank, the primary umbilical cords are torn from your back.
The glass of the tank module cracks, the shape makes you think of a spider.
A robotic voice intones
>"Warning, umbilical oxygen supply severed. Bacta contamination may cause cerebral hypoxia; suggest immediate evacuation."

Just as the voice finishes speaking the world begins to spin, you've exited the tunnel.
Time slows fora moment as you register yourself falling within your glass casket in to a roiling stormy ocean below.

The fall is long, you're going to be in the air for a few seconds.
You feel stronger now that the umbilicals are detached, the pain is lessened.

>What now trooper?

Rolled 67

>>28579026
Spread our arms, grow wings, and fly away.

Rolled 15

>>28579026
...kick the thing from inside?

>>28579026
Break out of the case.

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>>28579053
>Roll 15 - Success

Instinct kicks in, you brace your arms against the other side of the tank, and then drive your legs in to the crack in the glass.

The spidery cracks give way, and a few shards fly from the front of the tank.

The Bacta begins to drain out, giving you the time to suck in your first breath just before the tank collides with the ocean.

The burning cold of the Kaminoan air against your lungs, the violent slamming against the side of the tank as you meet the water surface, the freezing embrace of the sea water seeping in.

The glass shatters completely, you feel shards of it cut in to you, freezing ocean water seeping in to the cuts.

You can hear the voice, distorted by some unknown damage to the tank.

>"Warning; circuitry exposed, risk of electrical discharge high. Suggest immediate evacuation."

>Challenging strength test to try and and swim free
>Difficult toughness test required
>State which your roll is for
>Dark Heresy roll system in use, roll relevant things for any other action

No one interested?
Perhaps ill try again another time

>>28579174
Nah, just too many things to roll for.

>>28579561
Two things required
Its not that many

Rolled 4

>>28579174

Might as well give it a shot to go with the strength roll. What could go wrong?

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>>28579599
>Roll 4 - Critical success

You won't die in this god damn ocean, you refuse.
You won't be cast aside like you're nothing.

You swim, and for the first time you truly feel the power in your limbs.
You escape the capsule, and then hang in the water as you see the tank module crashing down to the depths, a neon blue flash of lights and a thud of water pressure heralding its explosion.

But the cold and your injuries are mounting, and fatigue is making it difficult to reach the surface now, you feel as though for every inch you fight upwards something pulls you back below before the next stroke.

You hear a strange keening sound, mournful almost. The sound of something singing?

You look around, and see a strange creature eyeing you from behind
Unbidden, the word "Aihwa" springs to your mind

>What do you do?
>That toughness test whenever you're ready

>>28579648
squeeze the life from its body with my arms, Beowulf style.

Rolled 58

>>28579866
forgot roll, sort of

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>>28579866

You may have a name but you don't know it isn't a threat!

It appears to be keeping its distance, perhaps also wary of you

It moves in closer, and nudges you inquisitively

You attempt to grab it, but you're breath starved now, weaker than you would be even normally

You only succeed in grabbing on to its neck, but you can tell you're not going to be able to harm it like this, the creature is much larger than you, and in its own environment.

It feels you around its neck, and begins swimming rapidly towards the surface

>Roll strength if you wish to continue trying to harm it, how do you do so?
>Roll willpower to cling to consciousness
>Or whatever else for whatever else you may want to do

Rolled 30

>>28579950
roll for will power.

strange..i thought i filtered word "quest"

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>Roll 30 - Success!

Black spots are beginning to swim around your vision now, but you're reaching the surface

You hadn't realised how far you'd fallen...
It's a good few more seconds to go, your head screaming from oxygen deprivation when the world explodes and the air returns

The creature launches itself from the surface of the water, and takes flight on oilslick wings through the storm above the kaminoan sea

It appears to be flying you towards a landing pad, on which stands a strange looking bearded man in brown robes, and a warrior wearing imposing looking armour.

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>>28580088

One of them is holding a strange looking weapon of blue light, the other simply pointing his wrist at him

As you fly nearer they notice you, and lower their weapons for a moment

The Aihwa touches down on the landing pad, keeping its distance from both of them.

>What do you do or say?

>>28580117
Ask where I can get some of that nifty armor.

Rolled 89

>are we on the creature?
If we are, hail both men in greeting.
If not, attempt to gain their attention by shouting.

The roll is complimentary.

Rolled 9

>>28580117
ask for assistance, we are in horrible shape.

>>28580129
>>28580137
Type out what you say guys, its always more fun if the players give speech, its a way to personalise your character

>>28580157
Slowly walk up to the pair, arms outstretched to show I mean to harm.

"Please, help. I'm cold."

>>28580175
no harm*

Rolled 88

>>28580146

"I require medical assistance, a full diagnostic exam, I may have suffered developmental issues. Also, what was that being?"

>>28580117
Probably pass out honestly

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>>28580175

You walk over to the two of them, arms outstretched, naked and covered in cuts.

"Please, help. I'm cold."

The brown robed warrior deactivates his weapon and clips it to his belt, rushing forwards to catch you before you fall

You see the armoured warrior, Jango this one claled him, pointing his wrist at you both and priming some sort of weapon.

The brown robed one throws his hand forth, and knocks the armoured warrior from the side of the platform.

As you fade from consciousness you hear him speaking

>"No Jango, wait a moment! What the hell is one of your clones doing..."

You fade out to the sound of blaster fire and running
And awaken later on in a white room with the same man who caught you
You are atop a bed, wearing plain white robes

>What do/say?

>>28580234
dice+1d100

Check my body for injuries, then examine the room.

"Who are you? Where have you taken me?"

First, take some simple diagnostics, how do I feel?
If everything seems alright, sit up and
"What is this place, and who are you? Are we safe? Why did that man attack me, and what is our relationship? I am his clone?"
Frantically and abruptly.

Rolled 98

>>28580260
>>28580244
Goddammit, I need more coffee

Rolled 56

>>28580255

Rolling for this, even though the other guy is saying the same thing, he rolled atrociously.

>>28580275
>rolled 98
This gun b good.
I imagine us vomiting mid-sentence.

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>>28580244

You awake, your limbs feel leaden and heavy, and you can see pink spots on your robes where the blood from cuts has begun to seep through, though your worst injuries seem to have been tended to

"What is this place, and who are you? Are we safe? Why did that man attack me, and what is our relationship? I am his clone?"

The brown robed warrior stands up and walks over from his chair

>"Ah so you're awake! I am Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi my friend, at your service."
He adds a bow
>"And you are in one of the medical bays of the Kamino cloning facility."

"That other one, you said I was his clone? You said I was /one/ of them?"

>"Yes, you are a clone trooper, one of thousands of Jango's clones, grown to fight as a shock trooper in a war for the republic."
He notes the look of consternation forming on your face
>"That said, it looks like they took a disliking to you... I know it's all a lot to take in, but you're a soldier, young one. And quite the survivor from what I can tell."

>Say or do?

>>28580323
"Affirmative." Lapse into a brooding silence.

Rolled 43

>>28580323
"Why did you push him off the ledge? And how did you do that? Some kind of concealed weapon?"

Rolled 100

>>28580323
Try to stand, attempt to look him in the eye.

"Why were you fighting my template? Shouldn't he be on your side?"

>>28580367
aaand we fall over and start puking blood.

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>>28580357

"Affirmative" you say, before lapsing in to a brooding silence.

Obi-Wan moves over to try and help you sit up, but your back feels strange, and the pain of moving causes you to throw up some blood.

>"What did they do to you trooper? Its not every day I see a fresh out of the tube clone flying an Aihwa out of the ocean..."
He looks mildly impressed actually

The door at the other side of the bay beeps, and a female Kaminoan enters the room.

>Say or do?

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Rolled 22

>>28580367
>>28580275
Dice gods decided we're not good in conversations.

Rolled 97

>>28580405
Drop into a fighting stance, still shaken from my earlier experience.

"They tried to kill me."

>>28580405

She walks over and begins checking things on instruments around your bed, and turns around to begin speaking

"Thank you, Master Jedi but we won't be..."

Obi-Wan waves his hand in front of her face and simply says
>"You do not need to see this trooper, run along now."

To which she monotonously repeats
"I do not need to see this trooper... I will run along now"

>>28580414
>>28580275
>>28580367
SERIOUSLY what is with my rolls?!

>>28580365
>>28580367
>>28580414

Obi-Wan notices your fighting stance and looks inquisitively at you as she leaves

"They tried to kill me."

He shakes his head knowingly

>"I had suspected they'd been doing something like this to their defective clones, I'll need to have a word with Lama Su about this..."

Your confusion at the earlier scene mounts and questions form on your lips

"Why were you fighting my template? Shouldn't he be on your side? And how did you knock him from the ledge?"

>"Jango isn't on anybody's side, youngling. He's on his own side. And I did that with the force, a gift some of us have. All Jedi are strong in it, we use it as a tool to keep the peace."

>>28580420
the force is not with you

Rolled 60

>>28580446
"Defective? I survived their attempt to kill me fine."

Stretch out my muscles, attempting to get back in fighting shape.

"The Force?"

>>28580457
Apparently not. Are we taking the RC series as canon in this? Like the Nulls and all them, or no?

>>28580446
"You said I was defective."
"I survived what was supposed to kill defective clones, ergo I cannot be defective."

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>>28580463

"Defective? I survived their attempt to kill me fine."

Obi-Wan looks shocked for a moment

>"Oh my, I'm sorry! I hadn't meant to call you defective. I'm not used to talking with clones on a one to one basis, please, forgive me."

You stretch out, and doing so you pass a mirror in the wall, noticing a large pink section of puckered scar tissue formed all over your back through the open hospital gown, the areas which aren't scarred are covered in bruises

Could this be what they meant?
You clasp the back of the gown and turn to Obi

"The Force?"

>"Yes, the Force is a universal constant. It is what binds us, the intrinsic power of the universe through which all living and nonliving things interact with each other."
He pauses, to be sure you still seem to follow
>"Some of us are both with the ability to manipulate it, and sense it. Those people are collected by the Jedi order. It is our duty to keep the peace, as it is yours to fight for the republic."
He looks pensive for a moment
>"I suppose this galaxy has a habit of forcing out duties on us, doesn't it my friend? I'm sorry, what should I call you?"

>>28580481
Nulls are in this continuity yes indeed

(Name with the most votes by 5 minutes to 7 UK time wins)

Rolled 8

>>28580518
"I was never assigned a number or name. Just flash training."

Inspect the scars more carefully, using what medical knowledge I have from training.

"Are there any others like me? 'Defectives' they were going to throw away? Otherwise, how can I fight for the republic?"

>>28580518
Whatever my serial number is, and callsign Mercury.

8675309-Mercury for example

>>28580549
I vote no name or serial number yet since they don't get assigned one until they're "born", and our guy wasn't given one.

Maybe have him earn it by being accepted as a trooper, or deciding one for himself based on more experience

>>28580518
Chip, the defective ARC trooper.

>>28580518
>I'm sorry, what should I call you?"
You I'm "defective" right? You can call me Unbroken, because whatever I am, I'm not broken.

>>28580576
This is pretty kewl

>>28580569
I redact my suggestion in favor of no name or number. Call us nameless for now or whatever.

>>28580576
I vote this

>>28580606
>>28580576
pls no

Current leader is Unbroken + cool little speech at 3 votes

>>28580569
This seems fitting with Star Wars

>>28580576
Seems like something out of an anime.

>>28580610
>>28580569
This actually seems pretty solid.
I vote this.

>>28580643
>>28580643
>>28580625
2 vetoes
And counting as votes for nameless
Nameless current leader

>>28580632
I vote against unbroken, seems to anime for a clone troopers taste

>>28580576
Please God, no.

>>28580569
this

Aihwa, since one of those saved our arse.

>>28580569
voting this

>>28580676
Singing-Aihwa.

We Sioux now.

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You think for a moment
"I have not been assigned a designation. I have no name."

Obi-Wan looks confused for a moment, but then throws his arms wide and just says

>"I'll just call you trooper then! Well, in any case, you're right, you survived something designed to kill clones. That puts you a cut above in my book, I'll talk to Lama Su about having you assigned, never throw away a good soldier when you want to win a war!"

He claps you on the shoulder.

>>28580712
"Surely I can't be the only one this has happened to."

Pull away slowly, continue stretching each muscle, testing for flaws.

Rolled 49

>>28580734

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>>28580734

"Surely I can't be the only one this has happened to."

>"That's exactly what I'm concerned about, and why I need to have a talk with Lama Su. The Jedi respect life, even the lives of clones. I'll not stand by as the Kaminoans kill fully grown clones because they deviate slightly from the template."

You walk around the room, getting a feel for your body.
You aren't sure, but you suspect one of your legs might be fractionally shorter than the other, and your shoulder seems to seize up at moments.
Otherwise, you feel perfectly fine, you feel strong, your injuries already feel a little better, even if the scar tissue on your back does make it feel strange to turn awkwardly

>"I don't understand these Kaminoans, you've two legs, two arms, you can hold a gun, and you've already proven that you're a hard man to kill. What more do they want?"
He asks, with a laugh and a friendly smile
>"I'm going to have to leave you alone for a little while friend, it may be worth going to see your Aihwa, he seemed rather fond of you, didn't want to let me take you away to the medical bay. Probably still out there I should imagine."

>>28580712
"I understand, I am to fight your war in exchange for my life."

>>28580808

"What are your orders, sir? To see to the Aihwa?"

We aiwha mounted cavalry now.

>>28580808
Go see your pet monstrosity.

Rolled 69

>>28580808
"If you wouldn't mind, sir, I'd prefer to stay with you. I don't trust the kaminoans not to try to kill me again the second your back is turned, and I have no weapons."

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>>28580829

"What are your orders, sir? To see to the Aihwa?"

Obi-Wan laughs at this

>"Good trooper! No orders yet, young one, perhaps when I get back. For now, go see your friend, I'm sure he's worried about you."

He salutes you with a smile as he rounds the corner and exits the medbay.

Rolled 94

>>28580868
Realize you have no idea where you are compared to the docks, so explore a bit. Stay ready to fight if a Kaminoan so much as touches you.

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>>28580841

You follow him out in to the hallway
"If you wouldn't mind, sir, I'd prefer to stay with you. I don't trust the kaminoans not to try to kill me again the second your back is turned, and I have no weapons."

He stops and thinks for a moment

>"Good point trooper, I hadn't thought of that. Can I trust you with something very important to be sure you'll be safe?"

He unclips his lightsaber from his belt, and levitates it in the air with the force, momentarily unassembling it and removing a strange blue crystal before putting it back together.

>"If anybody attempts to give you any trouble, show them this and say you are under the protection of Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi, sound alright to you?"

What do / say?

Rolled 69

>>28580909
"Yes sir, thank you sir. And if they ignore it, do I have your permission to defend myself?"

Try not to seem to eager to take revenge on your would-be murderers.

>>28580909
>>28580841
(Good job, successful fellowship roll, JUST)

>>28580937
Smart move getting rid of the crystal, otherwise I would have had us massacring Aiwha-bait. I really hate Kaminoans.

>>28580932

He nods at you

>"In the unlikely event that they ignore my protection, of course, defend yourself, simply no killing, do you understand? Revenge is never the way, young one."

He looks at you pointedly, you imagine this might be what a fatherly stare entails

>>28580953
(Obi's a smart fella)

>>28580964
"Sir, yes sir."

Take the lightsaber carefully before I start heading down the hallway, before pausing.

"Uh, where to, sir? I was unconscious when you brought me here."

>>28580988
"Sir, yes sir."

You carefully take the lightsaber from Obi's hand and clip it to your gown

"Uh, where to, sir? I was unconscious when you brought me here."

>"Down the far end of that hallway! It was Jango's landing pad, that was his medbay we were in!"
He shouts back as he walks

>>28581014
Head towards the landing pad, keeping an eye out for anyone so I can find out more information, but remain ready to fight if needed. Also keep an eye out for weapons of some kind.

Rolled 44

>>28581043
I keep messing this up ffs

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>>28581043
>>28581054
On your way past Jango's room you see a strange looking blaster lying on a table by his bed
You walk over and pick it up, the barrel is longer than any you realise from the flash training
And the grip is perfectly moulded to your hand...
Well to Jango's hand... which is also your hand
You can't find any ammunition for it, but it's large enough that it makes a pretty handy club as well, not to mention it looks pretty neat.

When you walk out on to the landing pad, the wind blowing your backless gown about as you hold Jango's blaster in a barrel grip, with a lightsaber clipped to your side

It strikes you that you might look a touch strange to anyone who saw you right now.

You look around for your Aihwa, but don't see anything immediately, though you hear that same whale song sound from when it first rescued you...

>Perception check 1d100

Rolled 82

>>28581128
Roll

Also keep an eye on the door in case someone followed us.

>>28581150

You look around the landing pad, and you notice that the sound is even more mournful now than it was before, almost pained sounding...

You find the Aihwa lying behind a pallet of crates on the far side of the landing pad

Its lying on the ground, seemingly injured
Upon closer inspection you can see a couple of nasty blaster burns on the underside of one of its wings

It perks up as it sees you, getting slowly up on to its hind legs, the effort seems to put it in even more pain as it makes a strange keening sound

>What do you do?

Rolled 8

>>28581221
Inspect it's injuries closely to see if we can do anything for it, while gentle stroking it's head.

>>28581245
Also, anyone else ITT besides me and OP? I don't want to hog the game if other people are wanting to join in(Although I'm having a TON of fun with this. I can never find anyone willing to GM a Star Wars game)

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>>28581245
You look over the burns
On closer inspection, they don't look particularly deep, and they don't go through the wing.

It looks as though they must be rather painful though, you can see a thin steam of blue blood trickling from one of them and manage to stop the slow bleed with part of your gown

You hear the clank of an armoured footstep behind you

And a voice, similarly robotic sounding to the damn voice from that pod you nearly died in, as though spoken through a helmet speaker says

>"How can something as pathetic and crippled as you be made in my image?"

A blaster shot rings out, you feel a moment of searing heat in your shoulder, instinct drops you in to a painful shoulder roll to the ground.

You hear the Aihwa again, no longer the keening whale song, the angry roar of a pissed off predator. It takes to the air and grabs Jango by his blaster arm, struggling with him to try and lift him in to the air.

>What do you do?

>>28581295
I'm here but at work so not participating as much as I would be otherwise

Rolled 25

>>28581316
try to stun Jango with the blaster (assuming stun settings work through armor)

Rolled 49

>>28581316
Drop my useless pistol since my enemy is too armored for it to be very useful. Charge towards him, tackle the opposite side of his body in an attempt to break his arm

Grab the Lightsaber on my belt and try to ignite it, since the power crystal is still inside, just not the crystal determining it's color.

>>28581354
It didn't have any ammunition.

>>28581372
ah, missed that

Rolled 52

suppressive fire to cover the Aihwa while it come eating our misguided creator.

Rolled 35

>>28581403
crap. well, dug to cover, if it appear that our Aihwa is getting shoot ( then it attract all attention) zerg rush our evil clone.

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>>28581354
You try to stun Jango with the blaster before remembering that you have no ammo

So you decide to use the OTHER stun setting

You launch yourself towards Jango, and crack the blaster around the side of his head, knocking away his helmet.

He drops to the ground, the Aihwa letting go of him.

His own blaster skitters away from his hand as he drops to the floor

The Aihwa backs away for a moment, seemingly confused, shaking its head

Jango attempts to back away, towards his blaster and regain his feet

The Aihwa takes to the air once again, grabbing both you and Jango by the arms, and though struggling, manages to lift you both in to the air.

You see Jango messing with something on his wrist, but you're not sure what it is

>What do you do?

>>28581416
Grab the wrist and try to angle it away from you

>>28581416
Ignite the Lightsaber, charge him, aim a slash at the joint between neck and armor.

This SHOULD work, as Lightsaber color crystals aren't 100% needed for it to work. It just loses some of the more specialized aspects of it(length, blade thickness, etc, as well as color)

Rolled 65

>>28581434
for this one

>>28581433
>>28581434
(apologies, re-post with a pic)
I will require a strength roll for wrestling the wrist away from you
I'm afraid Obi definitely deactivated the lightsaber, he knows what he's doing, sorry man

Rolled 71

>>28581469
Dammit man, gotta prepare for people like me who will latch onto what you write. Also, maybe he was just hoping you'd take it on faith that it didn't work.

Otherwise, charge him, tackling the arm he's fiddling with in particular.

Rolled 15

>>28581469
Rollan for arm fananglin

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t6gKLk-5QPw

Here's some music for the fight.

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>>28581488
You're both being lifted in to the air by one arm by now

You reach over to Jango trying to grab his arm to stop him preparing whatever the weapon is, but fail to grasp him properly.

The pain of the blaster burn in your shoulder is massive, and throws off your attempts to stop him

He types some sort of code in to a display on his wrist and a little pilot light pops up in front of a nozzle atop his left glove.

Your Aihwa shifts in the air, throwing his arm to the side for a moment.
You see it looking down at both of you, back and forth as though trying to figure something out until it finally drops Jango back down to the landing pad.

He fires a little burst from what looks to be a jetpack on his back, but still hits the ground awkward, and hard.

The Aihwa gently lowers you down on to the deck, behind the cover of the crates once more.

Rolled 58

>>28581576
Push a crate a bit to see if it can move. If it's possible, start shoving it forward as fast as possible at jango using the wet landing pad to gain speed.

If not possible, run up to Jango as fast as possible, try to get him in an Arm bar

>>28581576
Run. There's no way we can hold him down alone. We need to seek out that Jedi, or at least find a working weapon.

Rolled 39

>>28581576
Use the force to knock him out, then steal his stuff

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>>28581613
Roll 58 - Success!

You push a stack of crates across the slick surface of the deck, using them as moving cover heading towards Jango

As you get about halfway across the deck, a gout of flame flares up against the box, the skin of your fingers scorching slightly

You're feeling pretty beat up again, but you continue forcing forwards through the flame, the boxes saving you from most of the flame

You're right near Jango now, the gout of flame cuts out, you hear a sound as though he's hitting the thing

>"Piece of crap, stupid bird must've broken it."

What do you do?
(I should have mentioned earlier, you have 3 fate points for use in emergencies guys. They can turn a failure in to a success, turn a critical failure in to a failure, or just straight up stop you dying to an attack.)

Rolled 49

>>28581683
Jump over the tackle him, shoving the lightsaber hilt into the soft spot between his helmet and armor, then make a dive for his blaster on the ground.

Rolled 40

>>28581683
Push the crate as hard as you can then run inside. Try to find Obi-Wan.

Rolling to unlock hidden force powers, gonna burn as much fate needed to make it a success.

Rolled 37

>>28581727
woops typed roll instead of dice for some reason

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>>28581696
You jump over the crates and jam the lightsaber hilt in to his neck

You hear and feel it thud heftily in to his throat
As you fall, he drives his knee in to your stomach, rolling you on to the ground.

You begin crawling towards his blaster as he picks himself up again, smacking his wrist flamer until the pilot light comes on once more.

You reach the blaster as he levels the flamer at you and clenches his fist.

You close your eyes expecting to be washed away in a wave of fire, and prepare yourself for the pain.

But it never comes, and you open your eyes to the Aihwa standing above you, wings outspread, howling that same pissed off predator screech as it blocks the flames with its back.

The blaster is in your hand now
What do you do?

>>28581727
>>28581755
apologies friend, i might run some sort of jedi quest one day though
>>28581723
And sorry buddy, I don't mean to ignore you, your ideas are just as valid, the fight ones just keep appearing earlier

Rolled 34

>>28581778
Scramble out of range of the flamethower, going to the edge of the pad, before circling around enough to get a clear shot. Fire at the Lightsaber in his neck.

Use fate point if needed to ensure a hit.

Rolled 15

>>28581778
Use the bird as a shield and open the box to find a cache of grenades.

Then fuck up Jango with them

>>28581798
Any chance you'd be willing to DM a Star Wars game sometime? I like how you're setting this up.

>>28581812
just curious, are you expecting the lightsaber to blow up? because there's not really any reason to expect it to

>>28581817
Should clarify I mean stuns or flashbangs.

Don't want to piss off the force.

>>28581837
The power source can be blown up if it hits, which is partially the goal. Otherwise, it's just a way of forcing the gap wide enough for a killing blow

>>28581864
his helmet is no longer on if you recall, you knocked it off when you used the "stun" setting on your blaster (when you smacked him in the face with it)

Rolled 61

>>28581875
Oh, right. Then shoot him in the face, use fate point. if needed

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>>28581892
You dive to the ground, aiming under the Aihwa's wings and squeeze off a shot, hitting Jango in the face.

You see a cloud of smoke, and see Jango fall backwards from the edge of the landing pad toward the ocean below.

You're not sure, but through the sounds of the raging storm, you think you hear the noise of jetpack thrusters.

You look around, sighting with the blaster, but Jango doesn't return, and you think you hear a splash in the water below...

>What now?

Rolled 20

>>28581987
Search crates for shit. Take anything worthwhile. Especially actual clothes, it's cold out here.

Rolled 59

>>28581987
Check on the aihwa, see if there's anything we can do for it. Comfort it while doing so, stroking it's head.

Rolled 80

>>28581987
try and get help for the aihwa

>>28581987
>>What now?

Find Obi-Wan.

"Jedi Knight Obi-Wan! I, uh, kind of shot my template, sir!"

>>28581987
Try to see if you can help your Aihwa, if not, go and find the Jedi Knight and tell him that you accidently killed your template.

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>>28582032
>>28582033
>>28582037
>>28582045
You quickly move to check on the Aihwa, still standing above you.

As you move around, you notice its back isn't all that bad... it doesn't even seem particularly pained by its ordeal

It seems as though the combination of rain water and whatever substance its wings are coated with have protected it from the brunt of the flames.

As you're checking it over it turns and licks your face
This thing has a tongue?
Whatever, we learn something new every day.

You order the Aihwa to stay where it is, pick up Obi's lightsaber which is thankfully undamaged and take a look inside those crates you'd used as cover...

Inside you find standard issue clone fatigues and bodygloves, as well as some armour which doesn't quite fit perfectly on the left leg, but looks the part.

After putting it on, you run off back to the heart of the facility to look for Obi-Wan
The Aihwa seems to be trying to follow you now

>1d100 please

Rolled 57

>>28582166
Tell the Aihwa to stay here and enjoy the rain, as it's too dry inside.

Head inside, looking for Obi-wan. Stay on guard against filthy Kaminoans.

Rolled 97

>>28582166

Have the Aihwa stay out in the rain, we'll find it when we can.

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>>28582193
>>28582230
You stop, and put your hand out to the Aihwa, and simply say
"No, stay."

It looks slightly chastised, and seems to understand what you mean, though as you turn around and walk in it does try to follow, but gives up and sits waiting when it realises it can't fit through the door.

You run through the cloning facility at large, seeing rows upon rows of your brothers in tubes, or ranked up in their thousands awaiting embarkation on to massive transport craft.

You run around searching in this manner for around 20 or so minutes until you bump in to another clone in the walkways above the main facility.

As you look at him, spotting the insignia across his chest and the colouration of his pauldrons one word immediately leaps to mind
"Commander."

>"What are you doing in the walkways, trooper? You're not authorized for these areas..."
He seemed set to continue speaking but stops as he spots something
>"And what, trooper, is that...?"
He's pointing at Obi-Wan's saber held in your hand

>>28582166
Pick up Jango's helmet.
Might be useful.

Rolled 50

>>28582304

"Sir, I'm searching for Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi. This is his. I, uh, also may have shot our template in the face, sir."

Rolled 76

>>28582342
Tell him we've been seconded to the direct command of kenobi, which would remove us form the captains chain of command entirely.

Rolled 14

>>28582304
Crack him in the face with the butt of the saber.

"Here's my authorisation, Commander"

Rolled 57

>>28582383
he is WEARING A HELMET YOU RETARD

ROLL TO FUCKING VETO

>>28582383
>>28582342
>>28582377
>>28582377
These are very different, decide amongst yourselves
(He does have his helmet on currently)

>>28582304
"This is a lightsaber. Do you know where Obi-Wan Kenobi is? I need to give it to him."

>>28582304
" I have been told to return this object to the Jedi knight walking through this facility, sir."

Rolled 12

>>28582383

ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED? WE'RE A CLONE TROOPER. WE DO NOT INTO HITTING SUPERIOR OFFICERS.

>>28582377
Am I the only one wanting us to find the Nulls instead of the asshole Jedi who turn the clones into Slaves?

I'm seconding >>28582342

>>28582398
Hey, a roll of 14 would probably kill him, helmet or no helmet.

>>28582383
Goddammit, no. At least TRY to stay in character.

We may be a fucked up mutated clone, but we still have our training.

>>28582193
voting for this

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>>28582403
>>28582407
>>28582342
"Sir, this lightsaber belongs to Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi sir! Also, I think I may have shot our template."

He holds out his hand

>"..W-what did you just say to me trooper?"

"I shot our template, sir!"

He holds up his hand in the air in front of you, and seems to be waiting for something...

Rolled 14

>>28582401
"Sir, we are currently under the direct command of the jedi who owns this weapon. this was given to me in place of proper paperwork."

"also, fett just tired to set me on fire, and i request an escort to the jedi."

>>28582418
(lol no it wouldnt, i dont do quest combat, I do DH combat)

Rolled 40

>>28582466
Leg it and find Kenobi. Explain exactly what happened.

I like this:

" I have been told to return this object to the Jedi knight walking through this facility, sir."

Rolled 57

>>28582466

"He attacked first, sir, I believe I was justified in defending myself."

>>28582466
>>28582466
"Sir, we are currently under the direct command of the jedi who owns this weapon. This was given to me in place of proper paperwork."

"... In my defense, our template just tried to set me on fire, sir."

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>>28582507
"He attacked first, sir, I believe I was justified in defending myself."

He removes his helmet, and looks at you, almost dumbfounded

>"Officially, I should be reprimanding you and reporting you to the council."
He stops for a moment
>"Unofficially, fuck Jango, I happen to be good friends with Obi-Wan, and Jango is a piece of bantha crap."

He motions for you to follow him

>"I don't know what the hell is going on, but I damn well wanna, come with me kid."

Rolled 58

"Yes, sir! Also I should mention that the Kaminoans tried to murder me in my pod, sir. Obi-wan is currently trying to figure out where I can go without fearing for my life."

Follow him

Rolled 3

>>28582572

Success! And that picture is hilarious as fuck, by the way. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me?"

"Yes, sir. I believe I should mention that the Kaminoans tried to murder me in the pod as well, sir."

>>28582572
>"Yes, sir! Also I should mention that the Kaminoans tried to murder me in my pod, sir. Obi-wan is currently trying to figure out where I can go without fearing for my life."

This

>>28582572
Wait, when exactly in the timeline does this take place?

>>28582673
right when obi-wan and jango fight on the landing pad. we interrupted that fight.

>>28582673
Middle of Episode 2, we came in during the Obi-wan/Jango fight

>>28582687
>>28582683
Yeah, I thought so too, but then Cody showed up and started talking about being a 'good friend of Obi-Wan', shouldn't it be a bit early for that?

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>>28582593
"Yes, sir! Also I should mention that the Kaminoans tried to murder me in my pod, sir. Obi-wan is currently trying to figure out where I can go without fearing for my life."

He turns to you as you both continue walking

>"I don't know what to say about that, kid. Rank and all I'm still just a clone like you, I can't do shit to the Kaminoans. Obi-Wan wouldn't stand for that shit though, I know that for sure."

He stops as you both approach a large central spire with an elevator in it.

>"Here we go, kid, the presidential sweet."

The commander presses his hand against a scanner outside the lift, and a computerized voice intones

>"Genetic marker confirmed, Clone Commander Cody; access granted."

The lift doors open, you enter and are taken towards the pinnacle of the facility, and taken towards a small anti-grav craft which seems set to take you to what looks to be a ship floating above the main facility.

>"Ready to meet Lama Su, kid? Probably the freshest clone to ever lay eyes upon him from the looks of you."

Rolled 12

>>28582743
"Yes sir. If he tries to kill me again though, I will defend myself though, sir."


>>28582731
Eh, we don't know how long we've been out.

Rolled 43

>>28582743

"Yessir. If a second attempt upon my life is made, I will defend myself, though."

>>28582765
See:
>>28582743
It's Cody.

>>28582743
"Who?"

>>28582833
I'm going with the idea that we were out for a day or two, and destroyed the movie because now no one goes to Geonosis, and the War has to start some other way.

>>28582826
More like third attempt.
1st by being dumped to the ocean, 2nd by Jango who is supposed to be working for them.

>>28582856

Meaning Anakin and Padme will die. That's still enough cassus belli to wreck some Geonosian shit, though.

>>28582863
True, very true.

>>28582888
They go to Geonosis to save obi-wan in the first place though. They're still on tatooine.

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>>28582769
"Yes sir. If he tries to kill me again though, I will defend myself though, sir."

He laughs at this

>"Heh, I'd be impressed if you could even try, kid. The Kaminoans put failsafes in to clones for exactly that reason, try and hurt one, you'll see what I mean."

The craft docks on to the side of the observatory deck, and the doors open out on to a long hallway
You pause in front of the doors at the end, and you can hear Obi-Wan inside, presumably talking to Lama Su

>"I won't have clones disposed of like this just because you feel you've a professional standard to upkeep Lama. We may be in charge of making them live, but we do /not/ get to decide when they die!"

Another, strikingly calm and collected voice, almost musical in its tone, replies

>"No, Master Jedi, only that they must die in their droves as part of a war machine. They are soldiers, bred to fight and bred to die, nothing more."

There is no malice in that voice, it's as though he genuinely does not understand Obi's protests

The commander presses an intercom button by the door, he doesn't seem to have heard anything...
>"Sirs, requesting permission to enter, I have a trooper here who wishes to return an item to Master Obi-Wan."

A few seconds pass
>"You may enter."

>>28582907
>>28582888
>>28582863
>>28582833
Indeed, it is Cody
I'm fucking with timelines now
Offshoot universe and all, apologies if that bothers people

>>28582863
Walk inside confidently. Ignore the aihwa-bait completely. Hand Obi-wan his saber.

"Sir!" Stand at attention.

"Jango Fett was still here. He attempted to end my life. After a short scuffle, I shot him, but there's a chance he survived, just as I did."

>>28582907
Oooooh, that's right. My bad.

>>28582914
"Sir Jedi. I, uh, kind of shot the commander and I's template in the face, sir. In my defense, he had just tried to roast me with a flamethrower. Here's this, as well." And then we return his saber to him.

>>28582888
If Obi-Wan doesn't go to Geonosis, then Anakin/Padme wouldn't show up to try and rescue him.
This means the CIS massing on Geonosis will be left undetected for longer meaning that the first battle of the Clone Wars might not be such a decisive victory for the Republic.

Rolled 78

>>28582952
Goddammit, first time messing up in a while.

>>28582914
"Master Obi-Wan I regret to inform you that I was unable to keep my promise to you and I accidently shot my template with his own gun as he tried to burn me alive."

Rolled 45

>>28582914
Go in, tell Kenobi everything.

If Lama gives us lip, test HOW defective we are and give him (her?) a shove. Nothing too violent though.

>>28582975
That also means that(Since nulls are canon in this), the Jedi and GA have more time to coordinate, less Special Forces lost because they're treated as normal ground troops, and more time to get plot armor thanks to stories.

>>28582914
I'm assuming the "Failsafe" bit is your own invention to stop us from doing shit to the Kaminoans? Because that's NOT in the EU.

>>28582985
>"Master Obi-Wan I regret to inform you that I was unable to keep my promise to you and I accidently shot my template with his own gun as he tried to burn me alive.

I lol'd, voting this.

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>>28582964
"Sir Jedi. I, uh, kind of shot the commander and I's template in the face, sir. In my defense, he had just tried to roast me with a flamethrower. Here's this, as well."

The look on Obi-Wan's face as he takes back his lightsaber could speak a thousand words
But two sum it up nicely
"Aw fuck"

Lama Su stands up from behind the desk
>"And is he dead, trooper? You had best hope he is not, for your sake, and for the sake of the republic for which you exist."

Rolled 41

>>28583035
Glare at the Kaminoan

"And if I did? You couldn't kill me before, you won't this time."

Grab my blaster, but keep it at my side.

>>28583035

"It's a decent possibility, sir. I heard his jetpack fire, but then I heard a splash shortly afterwords."

So, has Jango assembled his group of Mandalorian exiles yet or what? If so, they can still train the commandos.

>>28583082
He brought them in at the very beginning, so I assume so. And if Cody is up, the Nulls are fully trained and have been terrorizing the Kaminoans for years. Kal would probably already be on his way upon hearing about the fight thanks to the Nulls being able to tap into security feeds.

>>28583082
(Jango has found his mando buddies yes, though they may be mad if he's dead)

>>28583102

How likely is Kal to side with us? We did what we had to to survive, and I think he could dig it.

>>28583117
They're soldiers. They know about survival. If anything, they'll blame him for being a prick, I think.

>>28583144
Kal wouldn't care, he doesn't actually like Jango, he was just hired by him

Rolled 78

>>28583117
Kal wouldn't, he was only sad he died to a jedi, not to a "proper soldier".

>>28583144
Hell, Kal would probably take us under his wing, have us pal around with one of the Nulls as a partner, like he did with the Bomb-disposal clone who lost his hands.

And he'd fully support the "Kill the kaminoans" my posts have been hinting at.

>>28583035
"If he dies, that just proves that your template was defective and should be left at the sea."
"Unless you're revoking your policy?"

>>28583082
>Roll 41 - Difficult success!
"It's a decent possibility, sir. I heard his jetpack fire, but then I heard a splash shortly afterwords."

Your anger at the kaminoans is beginning to form up, your hand strays towards your blaster, Obi notices this, and shakes his head at you
You almost think you hear the words "Not worth it" coming from seemingly nowhere

Lama Su looks thoughtful at this
>"I will have search teams dispatched, even a corpse will be of use, we have other assets to train the troopers with."

Obi-Wan turns to Lama Su
>"Lama, I'm going to take this trooper back with Cody and me, he's certainly not your usual clone, and I have more use for him than you will. He's already proven himself beyond what basic training requires."

Lama Su waves a long digited hand almost dismissively at this
>"Yes very well, take the broken clone, I care not."

Rolled 86

>>28583277
Turn away from the Aiwha-bait, ignoring him entirely.

"Sir, did you find out if there are any other's like me who survived? Clones they thought defective who they couldn't manage to kill? As helpful as you've been, I'd like to be with my brothers if possible"

Try to slap one of the creepy blue fuckers, the commander did say to try it after all.

>>28583035
"It's not my fault you guys used such a shitty template that he can't even ambush an unarmed man."

>>28583334
If we had someone backing us up, I'd say go for it. Kenobi's been helpful, but I don't think he'd be okay with us flat out murdering the fishes.

We need to get the Nulls to help us. Hell, Ordo would probably shoot the thing if it insulted us again.

>>28583334
Requires a willpower test on +30 to do harm to a Kaminoan

>>28583319

Seconded. Bros before hos. And since we're Jango's template, we should definitely get Kal or the others to teach us to be proper Mando'a.

>>28583374
I'm not saying murder, just a simple slap, enough for the failsafe to supposedly stop us, but not enough to actually murder anybody.

>>28583391
+30 to our stat or to the roll? what ARE our stats anyway?

>>28583277
"Are you sure you don't want to just leave him in the ocean?"
"I mean that's what you do with defective units, right?"

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>>28583319
"Sir, did you find out if there are any other's like me who survived? Clones they thought defective who they couldn't manage to kill? As helpful as you've been, I'd like to be with my brothers if possible"

Obi-Wan looks thoughtful at this and turns to Lama Su
>"Are there any other clones who've survived your decommissioning process?"

To which Lama Su simply states
>"No clone trooper has survived the decommissioning process until now. If the contractor demands that we halt decommissioning, then we shall do so."
He says, inclining his head to Obi

>"Well, the contractor, being dead is now represented by the Jedi Order as a whole, you will stop the decommissioning process permanently."
He then turns back to you
>"I'm sorry we never found out about this earlier you two, the Jedi would never have allowed such a thing, and it makes me wonder as to what Sifo-Dyas was thinking when he negotiated this."

>>28583420
(I've been planning to give you your stats when you go through a detailed medical scan)
>Give me a toughness test fellas
This trooper is a tough bastard, but that blaster wound hasn't been treated

Rolled 30

>>28583517
"Sir, what if he's lying. They casually murder my brothers and send us off to die without once asking how we feel about it! They're evil! How can you stand by and let them do this?"

Rolled 98

>>28583548
Ignore the wound. We are a Mandalorian (technically). We care not for minor wounds.

Rolled 48

>>28583548
"what is to happen to me now Master Jedi?"

>>28583570
Also that was my bid at a persuasion attempt. And yes, I want to see what we would do to the universe if we made the Jedi actually focus on doing the right thing, Qui-gon style.

>>28583517
"Could be he was scared."
"He didn't want Mandalorians he couldn't control."

>>28583600
So am i to understand that isnt a toughness roll?

Rolled 3

>>28583612
Didn't see we needed one, since I typed it while you typed that bit. Use that for toughness, this for the persuasion

>>28583612
Incorrect, that's definitely the toughness roll, yes sir-ee

>>28583612
>>28583576
These aren't the rolls you're looking for.

>>28583612

>>28583576
Oh fuck.

inb4 collapsing and vomiting blood

This thread is reminding me why my few attempts to do find a Star Wars GM failed horribly. I tend to completely destroy the plot within a session or two, and they get annoyed they can't even use the lore to fall back on for a plot.

>>28583570
Persuasion roll 30 - Success!
"Sir, what if he's lying. They casually murder my brothers and send us off to die without once asking how we feel about it! They're evil! How can you stand by and let them do this?"

Obi-Wan looks back to Lama Su
>"Lama, you have my word as a Jedi Knight that if you continue the decommissioning process, then not only will the Jedi end their contract with Kamino, we will return to dismantle the operation."
He fixes Lama with a hard stare

Which the fish man returns with a perfectly vacant look from his gigantic bug eyes.
>"Understood, Master Jedi."
Without a hint of irony

Toughness roll 98 - Critical failure!

You feel your legs give way beneath you as Obi-Wan admonishes Lama Su, your veins feel hot and cold at the same time
The floor rushes up to meet you, and you feel arms grab you from behind as the world fades out of focus.

>>28583693
no plot here sir, just stuff happening
hopefully cool stuff

>>28583672
Our trooper is one badass motherfucker. Falls stories into the ocean, befriends an Aihwa, gets saved by a Jedi Knight, passes out, wakes up, gets ambushed by Jango Fett(in full armor+weapons), one of the best Bounty Hunters in the galaxy, while in fucking hospital clothing with no weapons, and BEATS him. Then saves millions of defective clones before passing out again.

What's next, we smack the black off Windu?

>>28583837
Careful what you wish for anon.

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>>28583760
You awake within a Bacta tank, hooked up just as you were when you awoke for the first time.

That same green tint to the world, even the same red tinge to the Bacta from what was presumably you throwing up more blood

The only difference being that instead of a Kaminoan staring in at you, Obi-Wan stands with his hand up against the glass of the tank

He holds up his hand with all the fingers splayed out, and appears to be mouthing
>"Five days..."

Rolled 4

>>28583889
Superheal through force of will. We aint staying in that fucking tank a second longer than we need to.

Rolled 59

>>28583889
Struggle to let Obi-wan know to let us out.

Attempt to break the transparisteel.(Strength check?)

Clones are naturally claustrophobic

>>28583916
I'm now just imagining we draw letters in the glass spelling out.
"Fuck that noise."

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>>28583889
I see what you did there

>>28583925
Claustrophobic bit supported by the first RC book by the way. All the clones have it, inherited from Jango Fett.

>>28583916
We are now Wolverine.

>NMembe become
Indeed captcha, indeed.

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>>28583916
Rolled 4 - Critical Success!

You've healed well in the tank, your body feels stronger then before, and from the tank you can see a readout across the room listing your vital signs and brain function

Everything appears to be in the green

>>28583925

You begin struggling against your bonds, Obi-Wan holds up a finger, and keys something in to the control pad in front of the tank, beckoning over a medical droid as he does so.

The Bacta begins to drain from the tank

>>28583925
>>28583936
(he meant it had been five days, dont worry)

>>28584013
Damn we're pretty killy, won't be seeing an awful lot but we're sure going to be smashing some stuff, we should probably pick up a nice melee weapon as soon as possible.

Rolled 88

>>28584013
Stretch my newly healed muscles while I wait, testing everything out.

Also, did the Bacta heal our messed up leg?

>>28583837
"Suddenly... you are WHITE!"
>"Dafuq?"

>>28584013
I guess we wait until the tank is drained.
"Why didn't you wake me for breakfast?"

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>>28584054
After coughing the Bacta fluid from your lungs, you stretch out your muscles as the tank drains

You note that your leg is the same, though the scar tissue on your back is improved.

Eventually the tank front opens up, and the medical droid enters behind you to detach the umbilicals properly

Obi-Wan hands you your bodyglove and armour

>"You know, I was worried we weren't going to get the blood out of that bodyglove before you woke up. You didn't think to tell us you took a blastershot square in the shoulder?"
He smiles at you
>"Welcome aboard the Negotiator!"

>>28584178
"It was a minor wound, nothing to worry about sir. I was perfectly functional."

Rolled 1

>>28584178
"I had forgotten it, what with the nearly being roasted alive, Obi-wan. But thank you for getting me away from there. Where are we headed, sir?"

Look around for my armor and pistol.

>>28584178
(some of you may notice something is up from your star wars knowledge, yes, something is up)

>>28584211
Oh god, please tell me my 1 gets us Jango's Armor.

>>28584214
Isn't this bit not until months into the Clone Wars? How badly did we fuck up the timeline?!

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>>28584211
Roll 1 - Ultimate success

You immediately find the shit out of your sidearm and put on your armour

"It was a minor wound, nothing to worry about sir. I was perfectly functional."

>"You mean until you collapsed and started leaking blood all over the floor? Lama Su nearly had a heart attack, all over his nice clean office."
Obi laughs and motions for you to come with him
>"Come, join me on the bridge friend, I can't stay away too long, I've got a ship to captain after all."

>>28584238
(you didnt fuck it up yourselves, don't worry, I'm not going to send grievous screaming at you yet)

Rolled 8

>>28584272
Follow behind him, keep an eye out for anything out of the ordinary

>>28584305
Ah, so Christophsis?

>>28584272
"Well, if I had to have a little bleed-out I can't think of a better place to have done it."

>>28584355
ding ding, without the battle of geonosis happening, the republic are now the defending side on the battle of christophsis, having moved in the second they realised its tactical value
Its one of the first engagements of the war now

>>28584406
Sweet. Also hopefully no Ahsoka. Otherwise I'm murdering her.

>>28584424
Seconding this. I demand one of our defects to be an irrational hatred for whatever species she is.

>>28584444
Tagruta. It also means we hate Shaak Ti.

>>28584462
That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.

>>28584469
Not so much. I actually kinda like togrutas. They have cool hair.

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338 KB JPG

>>28584338
>>28584393
You follow close behind Obi-Wan
"Well, if I had to have a little bleed-out I can't think of a better place to have done it."

>"I can see there's no love lost between you and Lama then. Understandable, he did try to kill you at less than a minute old."

He stops before entering the bridge
>"I still don't have anything to call you, trooper, and since the Kaminoans refused to designate you, I suppose I should, being your senior commanding officer now."

He strokes his chin for a moment

(Think of designations you'd like Obi-Wan to suggest to our trooper, if any)

>>28584500
Stumpy.

>>28584500
Ask what our production number is. Use the first and last numbers as a name (Eight-Six for example)

>>28584500
I dunno. Was wittiness something the Kaminoans programmed us to have?

>>28584527
>>28584533
Compromise. Stumpy number-number

>>28584500
We are no longer a clone trooper grunt. We should have a semi normal name...
Obi wan would name us
"Qui gon mandaloria"

>>28584558
Stumpy 69

>>28584553
I figure our guy has to have SOME kind of sense of humor, or we'd be losing it at this point. I mean, we've been consciously alive for less than 24 hours, and we've had two murder attempts on us, plus tried to kill our "father".

>>28584500
Mandalore

>>28584553
they can't actually program personality, clone behavior changes based on who they spend time around/their experiences in life.

guess what obi-wan is?

Rolled 55

>>28584527
Ask Obi-wan if theres a way to fix our leg, because it's bugging the crap out of me. If not, lets be stumpy.

>>28584589
A gentleman and a scholar?

>>28584595
The leg is literally so minor that its pretty much impossible for anyone but us to notice
You could always tell him and have your armor altered so that one heel is a fraction of a centimeter thicker than the other

>>28584500
Or even better. When Obi wan was asked to name somebody in the future he named him Luke, he must like that name
"Luke mandeloria"

>>28584595
I kinda like it. I image we have a weird walking pattern, yet we STILL kicked fucking Jangos ass despite being ambushed while unarmed and unarmored.

I'm going with we're borderline retarded, and combine tard rage with flash trained combat abilities.

Rolled 34

>>28584500
I dunno about stumpy. We have a slight leg deformation, we aren't a dorf.

Snowflake? As in Special Snowflake? It would fit, with us being a slightly different exact clone after all.