First reply ending in an even postcount, or third ending in an odd one, makes the decision.All requested rolls are D20s or multiple D20sIf the thread gets crowded, we will switch to a consensus, but until then, unpredictability is part of the fun.
Hopefully faster replies will make this thread a little denser than last time. I only have about 3-4 hours before my illness takes over and I collapse
>>28720238Hey man, anon from prev. thread here.See if it actually has taken effectghost orb selfdescartes.jpg
>>28720301this, proceed to ghost sex
>>28720372Go straight to sexDo not pass ghost
Rolled 1>>28720539the d, and only the d
>>28720631Thank god that was odd
>>28720857>>28721099Now the awkward silence.
>>28721099Time to go rescue the princess, before we really do become impotent.
>>28721099Go find the princess!
>>28721127>>28721131Details!Do you de-ghost? Take the ghost girl? Fly straight down there? Ask for more info? etc
>>28721164De-ghost so we can actually bring the princess back out when we find her, but let's take the ghost girl along, not like we can make the princess any madder.
>>28721490Sneak past, it's time to go full-rogue.
I would do shorter posts to keep people in the thread, but then the suddenly great length of time it takes to write a fapfic freaks everyone out, and the disparity between image becomes too wide for my liking.
Rolled 5>>28721589I was purposefully not rolling because every time I roll in quests I fuck it up....but if you insist.
>>28721589>>28721602I warned you bro, I warned you about my rolls!
>>28721658You never fail to disappoint, anon.
I'm kind of stumped about what to do.I can either do shorter posts like the last one every time, but that would rely on faster replies to keep the thread from being bogged down.Or I can keep them long and proofread them for slow quality over quanitityor ditch proofreading entirely and live with the errors that might throw people out of the story/fapfics, but save a few minutes each time.Any suggestions?
Rolled 9>>28721774Convince the girl that it's totally cool, we're not an intruder, we're just visiting to pick up a friend and then we'll be gone. Maybe compliment her on her impressive guarding skills. She doesn't seem all that bright, so she might buy it.>>28721807I'd say keep the length and quality, I think you just got unlucky today with participation.
>>28721888Oh sweet jesus, someone else better get into this quest soon or I'm going to get us killed.
>>28721911Well, I'm here but what's the situation?
>>28721807Weekends can be a particularly unpredictable time for quests.Actually, come to think of it, it's also winter. Which means winter exams for some folk, or other holiday related things.
>>28722010Trying to sneak past some slimes and recover the princess before she gets eaten and our geas kicks in.Fucked up the sneaking, and apparently just fucked up the negotiation too.
>>28722049See, that's why writing in negotiations may or may not be sometimes better than rolling for it.Hmm, let me look in deeper.
>>28722088So by "bring the house down" is that literal? As in she's holding up the foundation?
>>28722128No. Like bringing the household, her family, down on your ass.
>>28722149I forget not everyone is a British Londoner sometimes.
>>28722088We are really off our game today, try to calm her down, offer to introduce her to lots of other guys she could play with later.>>28722164I didn't realise that was specifically British slang, being British myself. I was wondering why >>28722128 was so confused.
>>28722204Let's have a roll then
Rolled 4>>28722234I can't deal with this pressure, I just came here to lurk and wank, I'm only posting and making horrible, horrible dice rolls because the thread seemed to be dying, damn it!
>>28722265We may have to perform an ancient lurker ritual.I suspect there are others like you pillaging the fapfics and not keeping the story going.Nice roll by the way.
>>28722265Okay, that's it, I'm done.No more rolls from me.Ever.
>>28722088>>28722164Attempt to apologize and sweet talk."I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. I can just get. . .angry at sometimes. Can I make it up to you? Did you want to play a game? I know a new game you've never played before."
>>28722294First roll I'm afraid. I'm so sorry.
>>28722364I thought only even ones counted.
>>28722364Even decisions count. The first roll after an accepted decision is the one we take. Otherwise we would be rolling forever, and since it's pure chance anyway, there is no point waiting.That's the established rule
>>28722530lots and lots of fire
>>28722568Care to elaborate?How?
>>28722568Sadly we are not a wizard now. We are a rogue who cannot sneak past or outwit a retarded baby slime.
>>28722530What do we have with us?
Rolled 16>>28722530Shank 'em both in half
>>28722603A lot of knives, some rope, Two smoke grenades, two flashels, two spikes, leather gear, your rapier and it's holster on your thigh and your raw intelligence, charisma and sexual magnetism.
>>28722628Can you even shank a slime?
Rolled 6>>28722716Use the spikes to poison the remains
Rolled 5>>28722716Do they have a core, if so stab those cores, we no longer have time to be social about this.If not, then get moving, get out of sight of the slimes and resume stealthiness.
>>28722742>>28722760Oh christ, it's like the Mermaids all over again.You had a good run, McStab.
Rolled 2>>28722818Use a flashel!
Rolled 20>>28722818Try to use your rapier to stab the capsules inside the slimes, set them off that way.
>>28722873Please tell me nat 20s override first rolls.
>>28722920I don't know what to say.I'm just sorry.
>>28723029>>28723067Nope, that's it, I'm done for the day. I'll go read about our horrific death in the archives in the morning.
>>28723092At least you didn't declare an action.
Rolled 19>>28723029stand up
I leave for 10 fucking minutes and you kill the protag?
>>28723119I am curious to see how Mr Bones will combine that roll with that post.It's going to be a pretty impressive example of standing up.
>>28723225"Listen , if you really want to play with this thing, you've got to help me first, because very soon it might stop working forever unless, and that won't be fun for either of us."Or something along those lines. Then quiz her about the princess.
>>28723277This sounds good
Rolled 19>>28723225descartes.jpg the purple
Rolled 2>>28723225eat the purple
Why not >>28723493 then >>28723277
>>28723551Looks like your split personality is acting up again, anon.
>>28723551meant to quote>>28723514as pls no
>>28723406Already wrote for this reply as a third odd.. Sorry I didn't realize anyone else was playing.
Rolled 18>>28723576Its too late anonsomemenjustwanttoburn.jpg
>>28722716keep slicing?then run!
>>28723642Should we switch to collective vote?also greet princess
>>28723678ALL FOR COLLECTIVE VOTE SAY AYEALL AGAINST SAY NAY
Rolled 6>>28723642throw the princess over our shoulder and jog on
>>28723642Wake up the princess, we can wait until we're away from her slime fanclub before we give her shit for all the trouble she put us through whilst she was here sitting on her arse.
>>28723700AYE AYE CAP'N
>>28723700AYEThe problem with first post wins type things is that the quickest posts to make are most often ones that are designed solely to fuck things up.
Rolled 8>>28723700VOTINS FER BUNDLES OF STICKSTHIS HERES A MILITANT ORIENTED THEOCRACYcap diaorman strong
>>28723716>>28723726>>28723729>>28723731ALRIGHTY BLIGHTYDiscuss and agree on your next move, the roll must come afterwards.This is to prevent someone rolling a nat 20 and being supported by everyone based purely on the good roll.
>>28723765Harem time with the slimes
>>28723765Well, just waking the princess up sounds good. We can ask her about the rebellion thing the little slime mentioned.
>>28723805>>28723823Decisions start after this >>28723765post for clarity's sake.
>>28723805secondingwe can wake up the princess afterwards
>>28723805We could totally pull this off, just apologise to the slimes and explain that we were only acting like we were because we were concerned for the princess' safety, as her personal guard.Then we seduce.
I love you Mr Bones
>>28724307He be writing.
>>28724307As long as I have replies, I will never leave you people again with no warning.This, I can unconvincingly promise.
>>28724366>They're all childrenBoner, stahp
>>28724470It's not illegal if they're liquid right? Right?
>>28724507If I recall correctly from our first character, it is also not illegal if they're an ancient immortal.
>>28724538>Thousand year old LolisThe greatest gift the Japanese could ever give us.
>>28724507Correct, my good man
>>28724723Should probably check on the Princess now.
>>28724765I guess you're right, time to go pick up the old ball and chain.
>>28724723>>28724765Tell them if they thought a human man was fun, imagine all the fun that could be had with a human woman AND a human man. And everything in between them.Get them to bring the princess
>>28724806As amusing as that would be, it will just end in someone getting blasted by her seal of chastity.
>>28724806Sadly EVIL MAGICKS bar her holes.
>>28724848Not a problem, they end up splatted and back to normal. Holes ain't the only part of a lady you know.Has Mr Bones done any explicitly lesb writing yet?>>28724852That's ours, we save those for a reason.
>>28724765Agreed, let's wake her up and get moving.
>>28724884I'm surprisingly vanilla, but the problem is it's written from a second person view, and the protag is always male.
>>28724947>I'm surprisingly vanilla
>>28724947Well as long as the protag can see what's happening between them that shouldn't be too much of a hindrance. But you write whatever you want to Mr. Bones
Rolled 7>>28724947Innocence is a precious fruit waiting to be pluckedwhich reminds me bones, where is the geas on her body? cause we could always cut the offending limb off and then maybe the chastity magick should be gone yeah?
>>28725026>cause we could always cut the offending limb off Or she becomes the whatever would be the female equivalent of impotent.No lubeNo orgasmNo sex drive
>>28725026Back of the neck.I know it's /tg/, but fucking a headless chick is something I absolutely will not write for at least three more threads
>>28725062What the fuck you know my ex?How is she?
>>28725026Sadly I don't think it's that easy.Hopefully it ends when she marries this prince, then we can break into the palace on their wedding night, knock out the prince before he can do the deed, bang the princess on their wedding bed, and disappear into the night like the trollfaced fucker that we are.
I'm getting tired but I'll do a few more updates before sleep. The fapfics are getting way longer for some reason.I guess you're waking the princess. Writan.
>>28725075Rogue Depravity Quest
>>28725075That would be silly too.We're Jack the Stabber, not Jack the Beheader.
>>28725075What if we make her a ghost before beheading her?
>>28725257How about magic living severed head?she'd learn the joy of giving herself head
>>28725336Get the fuck out.Don't want them tomget too attached.
I'll start the archive while people are actually in the thread.Check out the previous threads if you missed them for more goodness.>>28725388captcha: clingy gtoutClingy get out. My captchas see future posts...
>>28725336Take the princess out of here, point out our horrible burn (and make up a better story on how we got it) to make her feel bad.Also, is the ghost girl still hanging around?
Rolled 4>>28725417Its a signLets grab one of the undead horses in this mansion and head out
>>28725468Ghost girl is nowhere to be seen.Yes I like to punish you for forgetting about your companions.
>>28725487Eh, not really punishment since I don't care that much, I just thought it was odd that she was being so quiet for so long.
>>28725468I like it.Escape+Guilt Trip.
>>28725468>>28725523Make up a story or roll
Rolled 16>>28725547I am not an imaginative man.
>>28725563Apparently your dice are though.
>>28725563But you are a lucky one.
>>28725563You are at least a decent roller, sir
>>28725547I was fightin off these zombie girls trying to get their stinky bits on me dinglies so I pulled out me trusty insta-torch but the darned things threw iself on me and set itself on fire, so then I beat the flames out to save its life only to find I had beaten it to death, the end
>>28725609I beat its unlife to death with me hands that is correct princess
Rolled 2>>28725586>>28725588>>28725594A stark contrast to my usual rolling.I suppose that the dice gods smile on me this day.Please don't smite me, D20ismo
>>28725214>We're Jack the StabberOur reign of terror only composes of guardsmen and one failed attempt at an angel (unfortunately that we tried).We're not gonna get famous at this rate.
>>28725563I hope to god my boss calls and says I don't have to work until the afternoon tomorrow because fucking hell it's 3am.
>>28725788No one ever specified what were stabbing people with.In which case we are incredibly successful
>>28725793I forgot what we were doing, with all the catgirl and slimegirl and horsepussy- I MEAN, WITH ALL THE DANGEROUS RESCUING.Seriously, what were we doing? Ask the princess what we should do, fuck.
>>28725906Have you missed the previous threads or genuinely forgotten the goal in a haze of fapfics?
>>28725920Not that guy, but while I do remember our overall goal (geas, princess, etc.), I forget why we entered the forest.I had assumed it was to get to the other side, but we seem to be back where we started.
>>28725920Yes.We're taking the princess to a place. I have completely forgotten all intervening details that would tell me how to get there.OH NO WAIT AIR BOATSFind an airboat.
>>28725970Ah.We entered the forest to check out the haunted mansion, but the princess was kidnapped while we hung out with centaurs. She was brought back to the mansion, still in male disguise, and when she was discovered to be a girl, she was tossed in the sewer to the slimes.>>28725980So far, we need to cross a swamp. We can either take the skyships, which are currently grouned by a dragon, or take the Swap-Crafts, which are wooden boats infused with treant spirits. They walk through the shallow parts of the swamp and are piloted by spellsinging druids.
>>28726031Getting an airship means dealing with a Dragon I assume?That sounds dangerous. Unless we can defeat the dragon with our dick.I vote swamp boat.
>>28726031>They walk through the shallow parts of the swamp and are piloted by spellsinging druids.Hmm, we offer one of the slimegirls to go on an adventure with us. or all of them, in a jar Bones styleWe get them to threaten the druid into piloting us through, because thankfully vines can't choke slimes I think.
>>28726031>>28726090>>28726117Aquire slime adventurer girlsThreaten druid with slimly demiseGo swamp boating
>>28726174>"The slime harem is for YOUR benefit, Princess! I swear!"I can dig it.
>>28726117>>28726174So you want to go back into the forest to pick up some slimegirls.Which one(s)?How do you convince them?Or roll for it.
Rolled 16>>28726232We convince them with promises of dicking.For king and country, we must do our duty.We could just pay the druids for their services too i guess
>>28726232>How do you convince them?"Guess what I'm back. I just though, we had fun, but I feel bad you girls aren't seeing much in this lonely old sewer.How would you like to go on an adventure?"
>>28726279>>28726285Alright which girls do you want?
>>28726232>>28726285This.We'll take whoever wants to come along.>>28726279This roll if it counts
So current plan, acquire slime girls, check out the swamp craft.Do you want to pay or hijack a vessel. You can easily afford a trip, it's a successful business the druids use to fund their swamp villages, but that doesn't stop you.
>>28726353Let's just pay, even if we hijack one we don't know the terrain.
>>28726353I'd rather not piss of the druids BEFORE we have to go through the swamp. Let's pay.
>>28726353Just pay for the ride, it isn't that big of a deal
>>28726402>>28726380>>28726378Exhaustion hits me hard. Took me so long to write this.That's it for the night. Please go ahead and ask questions, make suggestions or criticisms in this thread, and follow @MrBonesQuest.A vote on the archives would also be appreciated if you liked the content.Thanks for playing guys.
You know, we could still call the MC mister Bones.It would just be for a different reason.>>28726701Thanks Mr Bones!