Hello Boners!We are using a consensus to make decisions!All rolls must come after the decision is made, and the first roll(s) will be used.Twitter: @MrBonesQuestArchive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=text+adventurePastebin: http://pastebin.com/inMunfZHThis will be the permanent pastebin by the way. Trophy Case has been update along with some other things.
>>28862596Bonesy you beautiful man>what doKeep an ear out for gossip and rumors. Gotta know what roads be safe or if we need to get stabby
>>28862596Excellent, I'm in time. This must be like 5 am for you bonesy damn.>>28862705This, and also I'd like for us to grab up some supplies. Rope, lanturns, nets, some stuff like that. Maybe a small bow/crossbow. Also are there health potions in this setting?If so maybe one or two of those.
>>28862596Be sure to make small talk with the princess and hold her hand. Best to lure her into a false sense of security.
>>28862781What if I'm actually starting to like the princess as a person and am beginning to feel uncomfortable about this charade.
>>28862810Remember that the only reason we're around her is because she geased us, forcing us into magical slavery.Or do the same thing, but do it to be nice.
>>28862705>>28862765Sounds like a plan.>>28862810Clearly a rogues life is not for you.
>>28862596Man, I really would hate to leave before we give Sun the tender loving. Guess we gatta make this drag on long enough at least till the next day. We know Karth ain't letting airships in or out of the city, so flying over the Rift (and to those things we dare not mention within. You know what I'm referring to) is out... Unless we get a sister to convince him to let us and the one ship we are on pass. Perhaps with said sister as a fellow passenger?As for shopping, restock on flashels and smoke grenades. Also need new armor I believe.
>>28862810No bad anon, no feelings for royalty. Nothing good comes from them. Besides we rouge, we the night.
>>2886276511pm but I'll probably be ending around 5am>>28862765>health potionsNope, one use scrolls that anyone can trigger exist though, so I'll still take that suggestionBuying:>Two health scrolls>Rope>Two flashels>Two smokes>New armor>Handbow>Collapsible lantern and some fuel>Compact netGet rumours.This action will take all day and a couple updates.Anything else lads?
>>28862842She's geased, too.>>28862847c-can't rogues be monogamists?>>28862877But we'd be STEALING her. Rogue steal things, right?
>>28862964>Wanting the overly possessive princessDisgusting
>>28862919>Mr Bones nighttime editionOoh, I wonder if we'll encounter any spooky monster girls tonight
>>28863055>Mr Bones FeelBad editionMore coming based on suggestions,I tend to combine in low panic situations like this if everyone is ok with that.
>>28862919How many knives can we hold Bones? All day you say? Can we do this while scouting the town looking for good exit points?>>28862964Do you really want to take the time break her into rouge-life? It ain't easy
>>28863125>Do you really want to take the time break her into rouge-life?Not him, but yeah.Not doing so is like passing up the angel opportunity.Meh, maybe at the end of this if all goes well we might get a job as a court assassin. Still going out on our adventures, but having a nice place to chill at every now and then.
>>28863125Scouting and rumours will be included in jolly consumerism.With the proper rogue outfit, which has already been decided on, 20 and a rapier.
>>28863094>You lieThat a boy Jack. Don't ever fall for this broad. We must escape as quickly as the geas comes off.
>>28863125Honestly I just feel awful. Brutus is right, the rogue life is not for me. At least, the being a bastard to people part isn't. Stealing is fine.
>>28862964The rogue life isn't for everyone anon.You got to keep a move on or you might end up stuck with someone for life. This is what happens when you get greedy. You get put on a quest.
>>28863205Thievery and Bastardry walk hand in hand
>>28863094>lying to women>erection appearsAm I a bad person?
>>28863205I'm still dissapointed "The Stabber" isn't a very famous persona of ours yet.Where's our recognition?
>>28863293>Rogue>RecognitionA little counter-productive would think.
>>28863293Mr Bones wanted to be a powerful necromancerMost people of the world only know him by his brothels
>>28863153>court assassin job>DishonoredI played all of thirty minutes of that game and saw suffering. Dickass rouge anon, our dick in Yirda's ass. It's happening.
>>28863342>Dick-ass rougeIn our case, that term becomes literal and self explanatory
>>28863342>I played all of thirty minutes of that game and saw suffering. Yeah, but before the Suffering, Corvo totally nailed the most powerful woman in the most powerful nation in the world for *years*, and had a kid with her, who went on to become the Empress and have him as her most trusted advisor. Good work if you can get it.
>>28863399Move that hyphen, anon.Dick ass-rogue.
>>28863342>our dick in Yirda's ass. It's happening.Along with Tender dicking to Sundalia, yes?
Scouting and rumours next.Expect extra 5 minute delay due to bodily functions.
>>28863478I find it amusing that the Princess is ignoring the whole point of this journey.I mean, we're an idiot, but she has little excuse. I'd call it being blinded by young love, but...hell, I don't even know why she loves us.Must be something in our sperm.
>>28863478Looking good>>28863453Very much so yes
>>28863644Young loveForced chastity into adulthoodProbably isolation from the opposite sex, unless they happened to be asshole princes courting her for power alone.royal upbringing shit like that.
>>28863680Dang.I feel a little bad. But. Well, if we can play it off long enough, she won't ever be the wiser.
>>28863644Pretty sure our semen taste like chocolate and carries an opiate effect.It would explain everything.
>>28863680Well, now she's in love with an asshole rogue.Much better amirite?
>>28863917Hmm, I'm starting to doubt the sincerity of the princess sudden affections.We did leave her and all the slimes completely demolished and left them alone in the tavern, vulnerable. Not that she couldnt' have simply fallen for our dashingly good looks and personality, but still just noting possibilities.
>>28863980>Hmm, I'm starting to doubt the sincerity of the princess sudden affections.Mr Bones has posted in this very thread about how bad this makes him feel. (see >>28863094)She's totes in love with Jack, dawg. Gonna be a real heartbreaker when she realizes he doesn't love her back.
>>28863980She is being a bit over the top about it.I vote we ask around abotu a wizard who can remove a geas, while we have the chance.
>>28864022I'm not saying that she isn't in love with us.Just that, her love could easily be used against us by the right hands and the right minds.
>>28863917>What do you do?Captcha don't fuck with me you remember last time.
>>28864026You know what would be funny?If there was no geas in the first place
>>28863980Meh first dick she had in a while on top of the aheago face we dropped on her.
>>28864073>Captcha don't fuck with me>you remember last time.She fucked you anyway?
>>28864092First dick she had period actually.
>>28864073Cute little slime girls, I swear.We should make it our duty to fuck each of them in all orifices at some point. Gotta love returning characters.Oh also, I considered it and the only way we can really pass this rift is if we had some way to, like pass over the water, but unseen in the air.You know.Kinda like a ghost.Wonder where that idea came from.
>>28864048How? How in the world is the fact that she's in love with a violent, fuckhungry sociopath going to help anyone hurt us? Hurt her? Maybe. Hurt us? Not seeing it.>>28864115Nah, see: >>28863094>I tended to run off to the town and spend the day with the craftsmen. The nights too sometimes. Sorry... I just want to be honest.>Hey, that's alright! It's no crime when we hadn't even met each other!
>>28864192She was implying sucking a lot of dicks.You took her anal virginity.
>>28864192Well, unless the chastity seal is only a decoration, and seeing as how she was reluctant to give us her ass for a bit, it probably got no further than oral.>Hurt us? Not seeing it>A world of magic, mind control, and mindbreakery
>>28864233>She was implying sucking a lot of dicks.Still counts.
>>28864264Having real sex with a guy you love for the first time is a hugely important moment that will likely bring about love from their perspective.The fact this was a delayed experience for her, and the forced protectiveness you provide only makes this stronger.
>>28864192>Hurt us? Not seeing it.Remember that thing on our leg that's supposed to render us impotent if we try to retaliate against her?What happens if she suddenly loves us to death?
>>28864073Question: are there airships here grounded or have they been all destroyed by big bro dragon?
>>28864312>with a guy you love for the first time...will likely bring about loveBones plz, stop cirular reasoning.
>>28864312>>28864264Didn't mean to link.>>28864327All airships in this region have been grounded by the dragon activity. Karth is flexing his terrorizing.Also can we get a decision going?
>>28863680>Probably isolation from the opposite sexDidn't she just say she used to sneak out of the castle and fuck craftsmen?
>>28864345That should have been like.Love after sex happens for a lot of reasons.
>>28864358We're gonna have to get a boat and suck it up.Why do we hate mermaids so much anyway? They seem perfectly acceptable as long as they're the cool type of mermaid
>>28864391I know what you meant I'm just badgering you.
>>28864392RIP Mr Bones>>28864413Oh anon stop hiding your true feelings behind hate
>>28864392No mermaids are the cool type.Fuck mermaids.For once I don't mean that in a sexual way.
ANYWAYWe need a decision on tonight's plans. Princess isn't back yet but she will be very soon.
Out of curiosity, do we know anything about this prince she's going to be married off to?I think the most amusing thing would be is he is the best guy in the world, and the princess instantly loses interest in Jack and falls for him.
>>28864442Shut up you hack, you only have players because they want something to wank to while they download MLPxPokemon crossover cartoon porn on their AOL Broadband connection.FUCK ME, MISTER BONES, FUCK MY ASS - MARRY MEEEEEEE!
>>28864358Man I hate the idea of having to sail right above those murderous asshole fish-folk (mermaids). I'd still wonder if it be possible to have a dragon sister convince their bro to let one airship pass his blockade, having her come with us. That way we not only stay out of mermaid hands, but we have faster travel AND can bring one of the dragon girls (Sundalia) with us. And with an excuse to the princess about why she is here to boot!
>>28864505>Crafting a table of potential outcomes to randomly pick what happens at the end because I can't choose.>This is number oneBETTER HOPE I DON'T CRITFAIL IT.
>>28864533>AOL Broadband connectionNot cool man, too far.
>>28864505But doesn't that mean we get off free, without even having to break her heart?
>>28864541Huh.Well the dragongirls do like us. But we risk them finding out we're not a druid every time we talk to them.
>>28864548I really want it to happen, because I think we all automatically assumed that said prince would be a generic royal douchebag, and it would be an amusing twist.
>>28864533>Implying players masturbate to my artThat is fucking hideous. How dare you?Do people jerk off to the Mona Lisa?No one would mistreat by boundless talent in such a degrading way.I would never slut myself out like that in a million years.Ever.
>>28864585Generic royal douchebag was too boring to make it in the table.I'm too nervous to roll on it.
>>28864582That's why I only wanted the one dragon girl, not all 3
>>28864587Oh bonesy you always crack me up
>>28864608Is "guy who's in love with another woman and doesn't mind them having a sham marriage while she shags some other guy and he shags some other gal" on the table?
>>28864608I can roll for you. D20 good?
>>28864660It worked out for my Dragonblood Exalt.Once he convinced his wife's lover that she didn't have to murder him for the two of them to stay together.
>>28864612You cool with me Spectral
>>28864660No but "He's 12 years old and she was lied to" is.
>>28864660How about "he's not interested in her and instead kidnaps Jack to be his new gimp"?
>>28864660Is NTR on the table?
>>28864717>NoAww. It should be. Imagine it. "Oh, that's so wonderful, I feel the same way. Let me just go tell Jack... Jack? Jack? Where are you, honey?">>28864758D:
>>28864608It would be funny if all the choices are things that would instantly make her want to leave us.
>>28864804That would be funny wouldn't it?
Alright let's stop writing the last page and decide>What do you do?
>>28864860I still wanna go with my plan here >>28864541Not sure what others want
>>28864892Sure, why not.
>>28864821That it would.Also I like >>28864892 plan.
>>28864892Yea this works greatly
>>28864892>>28864925>>28864929Ok agreed on that.Go back to the dragons tonight?How do you find them and how do you get away from Lily?Taking this one step at a time. Getting a ship and Sundalia vs Lily comes later.
>>28864964>Go back to the dragons tonight?Nah, it's a bad idea, too risky and we don't know how to find them anyway.
>>28864964They always hang out at that location, don't they?Tell Lily we're looking for a way across the rift that doesn't involve water.If she asks, tell her we're a huge pussy who's afraid of fish.Or, just get a boat.
>>28865015>>28865026Votes or rolls will be needed.
>>28865190>>28865332It wasn't a great plan anyway.
Rolled 7>>28865190>>28865332I-I don't-I'm so sorry.I don't even know what this means for us. She doesn't just not believe us, does she pretend to buy it and then follow us?What have I wrought?
>>28865190>>28865332>>28865371Fuck, I've really lost track of what's going on in this thread.What are we rolling for?What's happening?Why are we here?
Rolled 19>>28865404I think we decided to bullshit the Princess again and sneak off to give tender dickings to the shy Dragon waifu, and perhaps anally discipline her unruly sister.
>>28865404Bones was asking us what do we wanna do.>Tell Lily we're gonna see about a way to cross the rift without a boat, tell her we're afraid of fish, then go to see if one dragon girl will come with us and tell her bro to leave us alone on one airship>Get a boat, and shut upThat's pretty much it I think
Alright guys let me recap.You all started discussing the quest, which I appreciate, but that slowed the updates down.We still haven't decided whether we are visiting the dragons tonightPlease reply to THIS post with your preference.Feel free to expand on the plan.The current long term goal is Sundalia with us on an airship to avoid mermaids and the wrath of Karth
>>28865465I vote get a boat and stop being a pussy.Seriously stop being a pussy Jack.
>>28865465I'm so happy my roll didn't count, then.Get a boat.
>>28865465Nah, let's just get a boat. This is all getting needlessly complicated.
Jack the Stabber does not go out of his way to get pussy.Pussy falls into Jack's lap.Going back to the Dragon sluts at this point sounds dangerously close to "effort."
>>28865496>>28865513>>28865533>>28865597Looks like this is the decision.I'm sorry namefriends. Looks like Sundalia won't be your shyfu
>>28865621Jack isn't the waifu kind of guy, anyway.
>>28865621It's alright Bones, just give me a m-minute to compose myself
>>28865621Unless we come back to see her after this whole princess quest is done.
>>28865621I'm mostly worried they'll find out we're not a druid.Sad we couldn't dick them all good but...not worth dying over.
>>28865857You totally took my 1. You just used it to turn down the second-place plan.Uhcrying girlhmmmG-give her the D?Is that it?
>>28865857"Are you surprised? Do you...you do remember how we met, don't you Lily? I mean honestly. You forced me to. Not that I hate you, of course. I don't, not now that I've gotten to know you, but...well, there's no denying the terms under which we met."
>>28865857Dayum, bitch be crazy.Much as I want to point out the many flaws in what she's getting mad about, arguing with an irrational woman never ends well.Begin operation "what she wants to hear", flatter and placate the hell out of her.I've yet to see us succeed at any social roll that wasn't related to fucking mind you, so it will probably get worse.
>>28865963i just thought it was funny that you were all devising a mad plan involving dragons and airships, and some guy just goes "Uhhh Boat?" and everyone just responds "Oh yeah, boats."I think of these threads as the MCs warped mind.
>>28866040We, at least we're no longer trying to make golems>inb4 we try to make a flaming knife golem
>>28865857Lay it on thick. "Though it would probably have taken a long time before our paths crossed again, I'm sure we would have met and fallen in love some other way if you hadn't had the geas placed on me." Take her hands in ours. "I definitely consider myself lucky that it happened as soon as it did though. It means we get to spend more of time together, after all."
>>28866010>Do you...you do remember how we met, don't you Lily?Holy SHIT son you do not patronize an enraged woman.
>>28866012Clearly we should apologize with our dick. Guaranteed success.
>>28866060We should make a golem out of the resource we have the most access to.Potential waifus.
>>28866069Nah man, fuck her crazyness.
>>28866100>fuck her crazyness.What do you thin we're trying to accomplish here?
>>28865963Attempt fuck>>28866010>"Are you surprised? Do you...you do remember how we met, don't you Lily? I mean honestly. You forced me to. Not that I hate you, of course. I don't, not now that I've gotten to know you, but...well, there's no denying the terms under which we met.">>28866012>Placate and flatter>>28866066>Throw bullshit at herReply to this post with your vote. Make it clear what you are voting for.Let's try to avoid getting bogged down again.
>>28866177Throw bullshit at her.
>>28866177>Attempt fuckIt does seem to be the only way we ever succeed at social rolls.
>>28866201>>28866214Specifically how?Ass, slime-fuck? other?
>>28866177> Attempt fuck
>>28866236Tenderly love her ass, of course.
>>28866267"I love you so much, let me stick it in your pooper to make up for it"That ain't gonna play nigger
>>28866201>>28866214>>28866247Yeah, let's just somehow try to magically fuck her while she's angry as hell for no real reason. That's a thing that will happen.
>>28866302>>28866304Well, I originally suggested placating her, but then I remembered that we have literally never succeeded on any social roll that wasn't fucking.
>>28866330Man this is the most healthy relationship.Build on anal sex.
>>28866304Angry sex there's a reason stay together knowing the other is an asshat
FUCK IN THE ASS IT IS.ROLL FOR CONVINCING
Rolled 5>>28866395Dice gods a shit.
>>28866410Oh BOY aren't they?
Rolled 15>>28866395Just the tip to calm you down
>>28866410They certainly are.
Told you guys we should've tried to bullshit her.
>>28866462I do find it amusing that after all the shit we've been through, this simple argument is probably going to escalate out of control until someone dies.Proving once and for all that you shouldn't stick your dick in the crazy, especially the royal crazy.
>>28866491I'm pretty sure it's our dicks fault she became crazy in first place.
>>28866568I seem to recall her being a bit unhinged when we first met her.
Man I leave for a bit and things go to shit.It was nice knowing you McStab. Never should have put your dick in crazy
>>28866588Not really. She had her royal dutys to follow and she simply employed us (coerced really).The crazyness seems to have come after the Lamia sex, and the glorious slime episode. Aided by a lot of alchohol.
I could barely stop laughing long enough to write.
>>28866725Or attach your file, apparently.
>>28866725fuck>>28866745I'm giggling like a schoolgirl
>>28866764Seems about right.Let her go, she's way too crazy and we need to relax some. How about going out to find a target to practice flame knives against? Possibly fish?
>>28866764Well, on the positive side, she doesn't seem so attached anymore. So that's good. The bad news is were still geased to this crazy womanWe now have to have our own room/bed and lock all doors forever. And sleep with a knief in hand
>>28866764>Still harping on the angel thingJesus woman, your delusions hadn't even extended to a relationship at that point.I suppose we should shadow her to make sure she doesn't get kidnapped or something. Maybe once she's blown a dockworker to get back at us she'll calm down.
>>28866832>>28866837While I can see where you're coming from, we do need to protect her if we want to avoid impotence.
>>28866893And we need to protect ourselves if we want to avoid death
>>28866908Same thing, really.
>>28866893>Implying we'll be able to shadow her worth a damnI think all our stealth rolls have failed too.In fact, to date I think our luckiest roll involved the D
>>28866925"It's hilarious that in my world, impotence is completely equivalent to PC death." ~ Mr Bones
>>28866926Welcome to Text Adventure Quest, the place that proved the Dice Gods just want lewd.
>>28866843Sounds like a plan
>>28866926...and now even the power of the D has failed us.Maybe Jack should just give up on everything and become a hobo.
>>28866843Probably follow her like >>28866843
>>28866837>Well, on the positive side, she doesn't seem so attached anymore.You wish.>>28866764I recommend we go find her and tell her something like, "Look, it's all I know how to do well, and I thought you liked it. It's not like I enjoy it; it hurts, you know?"One lie builds on another, after all! (We said as much to convince her to have the slime girl sandwich.)
Ok following.Two rolls, one for tracking, one for stealthJust to assure you guys, the required rolls are lower for these kind of tasks since you are a rogue. that's why you don't get visible bonuses to them.
Rolled 5>>28867022Dice gods a shit.
Rolled 1>>28867022>Implying we can succeed on even the simplest rolls.
Rolled 1>>28867022Oh joy
>>28867043>>28867044Taking these because it's hilarious
>>28867043>>28867044And here I was worried about getting blamed for this >>28867039 roll.
>>28867043Well, at least that was the third roll.We were only kind of awful instead of critfail awful.
>>28867055What? You can't do that. That's not fair.Come on.
>>28867055What the fuck Mr Bones? I remember a while back when someone rolled a 20 for the second roll you adamantly refused to budge from your "first rolls only" stance.
>>28867078>>28867080I was totally kidding.
>>28867089I briefly toyed with the idea of a ridiculous double critfail update where the entire town wakes up and attempts to kill you but it would take too long.
>>28867039I wonder if that's high enough to pass. I mean we are supposed to be some super-awesome thief, although I've seen absolutely no evidence of it in the game so far.
>>28867147Yea we just fuck everything into submission, and they don't what we say to get more
>>28867275Fuck I don't even know, give up and go live as an impotent swamp hermit.
>>28867275Pass it off as taking a night stroll over the rooptops and today just not being your day?
>>28867275Keep shadowing, pretend that that never happened.
>>28867275Rush after her, apologize, bullshit an explanation.We never came in her ass, and specifically told her it hurt; remind her of these two facts and make it out like we were trying to do something nice for her.
>>28867275"Fancy seeing you here? I was just taking a midnight stroll on the rooftops in this general direction when a brick wall got in the way."
>>28867275I would like to keep trying to stealthily follow her just so that we can actually succeed at something thiefy for once in our miserable existence.
>>28867385I think by 'hurts' I meant it emotionally hurt that they couldn't properly connect with her.
>>28867275Do not engage the target. NEVER talk to an angry woman. This fucking princess...
>>28867421She doesn't know that.
>>28867385>specifically told her it hurtDude, that was emotional pain.
>>28867275So maybe "Fancy seeing you here" with us trying to shadow her again?
>>28867443Trying to make peace with someone by claiming that it really hurts when you stick your dick in their ass is just really weird.>>28867454I'd prefer not to engage with her if possible, everything we say makes her madder.
>>28867424True, disengage target and resume shadow attempt #2
>>28867476>Trying to make peace with someone by claiming that it really hurts when you stick your dick in their ass is just really weird.Oh god I can't stop laughing at all this today
>>28867476>Trying to make peace with someone by claiming that it really hurts when you stick your dick in their ass is just really weird.Then what? Just let her huff and puff until she calms down? Sure, fine.But we *will* have to make some sort of excuse at *some* point.
Run away and continue shadowing.Roll for unembarrassing escape, roll again for shadowing.
Rolled 11>>28867518All aboard the fail train.
Rolled 16>>28867518Dice gods a shit.
>>28867497I say screw shadowing her. Let's go get dragongirl ass. Way simpler.
Rolled 10>>28867518And we fail how bad this time?
>>28867518I'd like to propose we move our voting system one more time to 'best of # of rolls"This is just silly.
Rolled 15>>28867529GRACEFULLIKE A GAZELLE WITH DOWN SYNDROME
Rolled 14>>28867533Problem: Princess holds the power of making us totally impotent.
>>28867529Well, hopefully it's enough not to impale ourselves on a piece of wood or something.>>28867530and hopefully this is enough to successfully shadow a princess.If we fail this time, I think we really should just quit forever.
>>28867554You would think it wouldn't be that hard. Just get up, wipe ourselves off, and walk away.Apparently it is.
>>28867554>Gazelle with DownsDamn that was a crazy trip
>>28867553Absolutely not.I don't like people raising the average rolls up like that. Incompetence is hilarious.
>>28867553How would that help?Best of X just has its own distribution. I use it in my quest but that's purely because of dice superstitions and their associated effects on players. It's really no better, and in some ways worse, since it's hard to eyeball what the probability of a particular DC is on a "best of 3".
>>28867576>If we fail this time, I think we really should just quit forever.Honestly we are such a terrible Rouge. How have we lived this long?
>>28867609I think it works out that a best of 3D100 ends up at about 67 average.
>>28867575Couldn't we just fix that though if we find a strong enough wizard?
>>28867613Seriously. I feel like Text Adventure Quest should start with "roll 50d20s, if any of them are 1s, you died in an embarrassing way before the quest started, now who would you like to play as next?"
>>28867613Up to this point he didn't have a princess to look after, monster girls to encounter or a country to cross.Similarly Mr Bones just studied in a cave for ten years.Everything in their lives goes to shit when the quest starts.
>>28867643>roll 50d20s, if any of them are 1s, you died in an embarrassing way before the quest startedA tad extreme there, don't you think?
>>28867679We are talking about a whole pre-quest lifetime of potential fuckups.
>>28867675I know what anydice is, but I don't consult it every update for every DC.
>>28867677In all fairness, I blame the princess for McStab's turn of bad fate. We handled most monster girls well enough
>>28867727Except the Angel.
>>28867727But if it weren't for the princess, we would've never encountered the monster girls>>28867677But it's made up for in oodles and oodles of hot sweaty lovemaking
>>28867826I hope whoever that anon was is giggling quietly to himself in hell.
>>28867853>implying it's not the jester playing the quest
>>28867886What equipment do we still have?
>>28867886Prep a flashel.We can toss when they burst in and guard our eyes with the wardrobe door. Princess should be blinded, so we can make an entrance that doesn't look like we were hiding in her wardrobe.
>>28867886Stab 'em, then afterwards say something like..."Boy, sure was a good thing old Jack was around, wasn't it? It'd have been pretty dumb if you purposefully avoided him for some petty bullshit and gotten yourself killed, right?"
>>28867915>"What makes you so set on leavin'?">"Your first action is now your first even!"
>>28867941I like your commentary, but... shit. We're hiding her fucking wardrobe.It's weird, man.
>>28867886Its stabbing time go for the back of the neck on both
>>28867886Flashel them, stab one, take the other hostage for questioning.
>>28867915Anon don't be ridiculous, I-He doesn't exist.
>>28867994"You know what else is weird? How those guys got stabbed in the throat by the guy who's done nothing but protect you this whole time, in spite of all the myriad problems and few benefits that come with that task! That's kuh-ray-zee!"
Ok Flashel and kill them both.Roll for flashel, roll for fight.First roll will make second easier.
Rolled 11>>28868064Dice gods a shit.
Rolled 15>>28868064No taking one prisoner? Oh well, I guess all these failures have made anon bloodthirsty.
>>28868083>>28868087Well, it's okay. Hopefully it's good enough when we're taking them by surprise.
>>28867886Stab them, drag them into another room, clean up the blood, pretend nothing ever happened.
>>28868424Wait for lily to wake up so can talk, no really talk, about how we are a dick-ass rouge
>>28868424Thank god for violence. We never could've salvaged things with our horrific social skills, but murdering two dudes, that'll do it.
>>28868424Wake up oral for the princess, maybe?Would that activate her stupid chastity spell?
>>28868424welp time to cut your hair again and bind up them tits
>>28868494Oral is safe
>>28868510Remembered literally less than ten seconds after posting that.(We gave her oral during the threesome w/ the Medusa)
>>28868424Go down and grab some breakfastGo on like it's just a normal day.
Oral or act like everything is normal?
>>28868582Or admit to her you're just a rogue as per >>28868485
>>28868494Going with this.
>>28868494This is good
>>28868582Well, I vote oral.We should do something nice for her other than murder people on her behalf and occasionally have weird threesomes with her and monstergirls.
>>28868582Going with normal. Don't need her loving is AGAIN
Rolled 18There are two things Jack "the Stabber" McStab is good at: stabbin', sneakin' and fuckin'. Countin' ain't one of them.
>>28868703It's like...Fucking hell luck doesn't even play into it.
>>28868702>AGAIN>implying she ever stopped
>>28868717If she doesn't come at least 6 times and has a funny walk for the rest of the day, I'm gonna be disappointed
>>28868703*sigh* Guess we're back to "I love you" and "Honey" levels...Dammit
>>28868783You are seriously deluded if you think she interpreted this as anything other than a lover's spat.
>>28868810Man I wish the relationship was back to where it was at the start of the quest, where we just had to deal with one another.
>>28868866Well we still are having to "deal" with her. It's just that she thinks it's because of another reason.
>>28868937Well, if we ever make it to that other kingdom, I'm so voting bailing ASAP, cause I wager she try to geas us again if we stay to long
>>28868993Why would she geas her one true love?
>What do you do?
>>28869004So that he will never leave her. Tell me you can't see her doing that
>>28869004Because we stuck it in her pooper while she crying just the tip thou
>>28869042Overcome our intense emotional trauma and be mature about this.
>>28869042Everything went better than expected!
>>28869042Let only one tear fallI I understand. I can't say I agree but I understand and respect your decision. One last roll for the lonely night ahead.
>>28869042"I understand, I know this decision was hard for you, hard for both of us, but you're right. We'll just have to get through this somehow."Then we can begin imagining all the monstergirls (and regular girls) we've yet to fuck.
>>28869042She is so fucked in the head.
>>28869146Well we did fuck her in the head.
>>28869042Well....that went better than expected...unless she is trying to trick us to see our reaction!Lets make a show of holding it in and maybe something like we will just have to come steal from her again some day (In reality we are going to travel SO far away)
>>28869042Let's get a boat.
>>28869235Yeah, time to get that boat.
>>28869235I guess. Still wished we could have gone by Airship
Okay, plan:"Blah blah oh no how horrible blah blah I think I'll manage, somehow.""Bind your breasts so people won't recognize you."Get a boat.
>>28869318>Get sisters to convice big bro to carry all of us across the RiftIf I had any faith it would work, I'd do itI just want some time with Sundalia...
>>28869379Ahhh shit yeah. Time to add a new companion to this mix. I'd like to try that airship plan again. Anything that can keep us away from the fish pussy
>>28869379We can steal shit when we get... wherever we're going. Have her disguise herself and get on that boat.
>>28869379So what you're saying is... dragongirls?
>>28869454I think he just might.
>>28869454That's what I'm saying! (Though I'd be happy with the best one, Sundalia)
>>28869473>>28869502I think dragongirls is a good move. Preferably all three, although I'd settle for Sundalia.
>>28869502>>28869554Boy, it sure is a good plan to go hang out with the girls who literally planned to rape and murder us, and only didn't because they believed we were a druid (which, may I remind you, WE ARE NOT).
>>28869473>>28869502>>28869554>>28869454>>28869447>>28869395Right.How do you meet up with them again. You'll need to gain their attention somehow.
>>28869573Practice throwing knieves in the air at the edge of the swamp?
>>28869573Throw flaming blades in the air at night in the swamp
>>28869625By which I ment the flame knives
>>28869657Sure you did.
>>28869625>>28869640You mean the spell that they were suspicious of the fact that we had to learn, since it should've been an incredibly trivial spell you learned early?Along with all the other numerous red flags that may have led to them investigating and finding out we're not a druid.Ah, well, everybody wants to fuck shy dragon girl more than they want to live. RIP, Jack.
>>28869676The namefriends always gonna shyfu
>>28869676Well, how else are we to get their attention? Throw flashels into the air till they come and see what the hell is going on?They know that they taught us that spell just the other day,so they'ed pick up on it quick that it is us "practicing"
>>28869714We could, like, not try to get the attention of the three women who planned to rape and murder us.Just an idea.
>>28869625>>28869640>>28869657Sounds like a plan to me.
>>28869695So when Jack dies, I assume we're going to reroll as someone else?Can we be, like... a swordsage or something? Some kind of expert, skilled fighter? Barbarian and mage don't really appeal to my tastes.I always liked the Link/Strider/Wander archetype.
>>28869895Gunslinger and Mind Mage are currently in the books. Swordsage sounds neat, I'll add it.
>>28869945What I find amusing is that even if we're playing a fairly cerebral class like a Mind Mage or Swordsage, we'll still basically be a sex-crazed idiot.
>>28870029Come for the smut, stay for the critfailing, terrible decisions!
>>28870029He could appeal to one of /tg/'s other base emotions, like paranoia, or hating cheating.
>>28870101Why not all of them?
>>28870055>Greets you with a sweet kiss and a hug>Actually enjoy your presence>Insult each other playfully, showing humour and self-confidence>Ask what we need, not what we can do for them.The dragon girls are way more adjusted than the princess?This makes a sweet kind of sense to me.
>>28870055Shit forgot>What do you do?
>>28870055Okay, how to explain the plan...Well, I doubt simply asking can work (though Sandalia seems like she probably straight up agree) on them. We could play off how they think we are an undercover druid on an important mission and time is of the essence. Their treaty makes them seem all the more likely to help, but at the same time, we could be caught lying later.
Sword Sage looks cool.A lot of unique spells to pillage from D&D.Also waiting for votes aside from dear, loyal Spectral's
>>28870194Explain how we need to get to the other kingdom, ask for their assistance and company, comment on the possibility of PHAT LEWT, sweeten the deal with more fucking.I seem to recall we were still waiting to give Sundelia the D, and give Yirda the D (anally), and... I'm sure we can think of something to do with Talia too.>>28870263Well I would've posted sooner, but Captcha is being a bitch again.
>>28870194Ask the girls about letting a singular airship through or if we could get safe passage because fuck mermaidsAnd continue sexy times unabated
>>28870321Funny thing, I bet they hate mermaids too, cause mermaids can probably do mater magic, you know?
>>28870345Enemy of my enemy is my fuckbuddy?
>>28870405Something like that yeah
>>28870263Mr Bones you crazy bastard, why are you still up at 5am?Why am I still up at 5am for that matter!
>>28870476I'm on a roll. To be honest, the dragon smut will have to wait for tomorrow. I think I'll have to end it hear.I did intend to end at 5am after all.I'll archive, catch-up if you're behind and send a vote if you enjoyed it.I will be here groggy for more class suggestions, any questions or suggestions, and discussions (Inevitably orbiting around how to fuck the dragon girls)Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=text+adventureTwitter: @MrBonesQuest
Oh and goodnight Boners! Thanks for playing!I'll be reading up on swordsage's in the meantime.
>>28870704>I KNOW YOU JUST WANT MY TIGHT ONEOh if only you knew, Yirda, if only you knew...>>28870730Goodnight Mr Bones, it's been fun as always.
>>28870730I'd just like to note that I like the swordsage best when it's "badass guy with a sword who beats others with technique, mobility, and/or intellect" (Diamond Mind, Setting Sun, Tiger Claw) not some weird gish class (Desert Wind and, to a lesser extent, Shadow Hand).I dunno, maybe it's just me.
>>28871028Not sure how to implement the abilities other than PICK FROM THIS LIST.I like people making their own stuff up.