http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Neckbeard%20QuestPrevious threads---You are currently ANONYMOUS, you are currently HUNGRY and unconsciously CRYING.You have thanked Mimic for the new clothes and head into Garush's kitchen for food. Where do you look first?The sounds of Garush struggling in the bathroom and Yorick's ranting fill the apartment post.You smell of high quality vodka for some reason.
>>29448061Let's just make a wild assumption and hope there's food instead of an eldritch abomination in the fridge.
>>29448061This strikes me as a good opportunity to consume more alcohol.
>>29448061Check the freezer
>>29448061Consume delicious hooch-tears.Loot fridge.
>>29448061You need water.
>>29448472What is this "Wah-tear" you speak of?
>>29448632It's the magic de-hangover juice, that's what it is.
>>29448061Welcome back, Teli.
>>29448645That's not how you spell coffee or orange juice.
>>29448308>>29448436>>29448464You check the freezer for food and booze. Inside it are:Frozen ground beefFrozen sausage linksBag of ice12 ounce glassesA pack of batteriesVodkaRumIce trayand Torpedo Asshole, who weakly requests to go home.
>>29448686OJ is for Screwdrivers, not hangovers.
>>29448798jesus Christget torpedo asshole out of therethat was way too mean
>>29448798Get torpedo asshole and the sausages out.
>>29448798Take out torpedo asshole and the vodka.
Rolled 97>>29448798Take out sausage asshole and rum torpedo.
>>29448907>torpedo your asshole with sausage
>>29448798Remove Torpedo Asshole, Sausages, and Vodka.
>>29448954>Asshole Sausage Rum Torpedo Cubes
>>29448854>>29448984You take out the frozen sausages, vodka, and Torpedo Asshole out of the freezer and onto the counter. The sausages are frozen stiff.TA is shivering and trembling.The vodka looks very enticing to you.
>>29449285cook the sausage
>>29449285Cook the sausage in the vodka.
>>29449285Cook the sausages in the vodka along with some black pepper (white, if Garush has it) and onion powder."Will it fuck you up if I run you under a hot tap or something?"
>>29449285Filter the vodka through torpedo asshole first.
>>29449285Pour vodka into saucepan. Add sausages to vodka. Boil.
>>29449285try and help TA out first
Considering the sounds coming from Garush's bathroom, it might be a bad idea to eat his food. Ordering delivery would be the best idea, if we had money. Ask Garush or Mimic if we can borrow some.>>29448837Also this.
>>29449338>>29449426>>29449452You decide to filter vodka through TA first. How are you going to do that?
>>29450256It enters through the front.
>>29450256No, dumbass, alcohol doesn't ACTUALLY make you warm! It'll actually thin out your blood and make you lose more heat.Put him in the oven.
>>29450256well given that he has a neckhole and no stomach you can just pour it through there and then into a bowl via his nose and mouthgiven that it is alcohol it will also work as antifreeze, thawing him out
>>29450256Give him a swig of vodka. Then pour the rest into a pan to make vodka sausages.
>>29450394You feed TA a swig of vodka, but he barely thawed. You pour the rest into the pan and plopped in three pried out frozen sausages and left them to cook.Garush's groans quieted down, but he still remains in the bathroom. There is at least three flush sounds.
>>29450824Take a swig of vodka.
>>29450824Set TA on a nearby burner for ambient heat. Turn him whenever you turn the sausages. Cry into the pan for added salt content.
>>29450824Drink some water.
>>29450824Christ. Wrap TA in a towel and put him by the space heater or heat vent if there is one. Check on Yorick while things cook.Warm TA further with a moving rendition of "Candle on the Water."
>>29450824Start singing something really emo.
>>29450824Go see what Yorrick is up to. Bring TA along.
>>29450937"VOOOOOOOOOOOOODKA IIIIIIIIIIN MY PAAAAAAAAAAN! THE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAUSAGE WIIIIIIIIIIIIILL NOT BUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! MY STOOOOOOMCH'S HUUUUUUUUNGER CAAAAAAAAAALS, DEEEEEEEEEEEMANDING IT'S NEXT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAL!"
>>29450970"... And he was raped right before my eyes! I couldn't do anything but watch him turn into a orc cum crazed whore-"
>>29450976>VOOOOOOOOOOOOODKA IIIIIIIIIIN MY PAAAAAAAAAAN! THE SAAAAAAAAAAAAAUSAGE WIIIIIIIIIIIIILL NOT BUUUUUUUUUUUU-
>- Yorick what are you doing"Nothing."
>>29451407Yorick how the fuck'd you manage to use the phone? The fuck?
>>29451407Want some sausages?
>>29451407"Who were you talking to?"Redial, then *69 if that doesn't work.
>>29451513I think the more pressing issue is how Yorick managed to use the phone.
>>29451539Tentacle hair. She's a spirit possessing a severed head, I'd imagine she's got some method of control.And you're questioning this shit when our friend's hairdo is heavy ordnance?
>>29451614Nono you see, Pompadours are in a totally different player class of hair. It's totally different.
>>29451684Be that as it may, it's expected for Pompadour to serve as a ballistic-class hairstyle. Twintails, especially thick ones like Yorick's, are expected to be a manipulation-class style, including manipulating small objects like telephone keypads, etc.
>>29451786Shit. And it makes sense that Neckbeards are the source of evil in the world... Shit.
>>29451786She tried to use them to direct the roomba before, and that was just shaking to catch the wheels. I'd guess that the just uses her jaw, tongue, and whatever little bit of her neck remains.
>>29451838Ponytails: Melee classPompadours: Ballistic classTwintails: Manipulation classShag: Charm classCornrows: Armor classBald: Blinding class>>29451881Yeah, but they got caught in the roller. You try doing anything when your arms are in a sling.
>>29451512>Want some sausages?"Nah, I'm good."
>>29452065"What was that about an orc cum slave or whatever?"
>>29452065want my sausage?
>>29452065Offer her your man sausage.
>>29452103I'm curious about that too. Isn't Garush an orc?
>>29452180>Yorick confirmed for shipper
>>29452174You sport a cheeky grin.>Want some of MY sausage?"WHAT"
Rolled 92>>29452288"Oh, just heard you on the phone and thought you'd be interested in a non-orcish romp in the shag carpet."
>>29452288I'm making sausages, want some of them?
>>29452288It's got vodka and stuff on it.
>>29452288Fluster her more! Make her blush!
>>29452340>Oh, just heard you on the phone and thought you'd be interested in a non-orcish romp in the shag carpet."SHIT"You can here a faint "White-hair?" from the phone, before Yorick manages to slam one of her pigtails on the end dial.
>>29452692So... trying to keep up some kind of reputation with Charlotte and her crew, eh? Tell me what you know, horseless headsman.
>>29452728We probably should make sure our sassages don't burn.
>>29452692I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU USED THAT
>>29452740We can take her into the kitchen with us. Put her in a salad bowl or something.
>>29452742>I WAS WONDERING HOW YOU USED THAT!"EEEEEEEEE-"
>>29452728>So..>Trying to keep up some kind of reputation with Charlotte and her crew, eh?"NO">Bullshit!>Tell me what you know, horseless headsman."GO FUCK YOURSELF"
>>29453113At least tell me why you told all my friends I was now an orcish cumslut! That was totally uncalled for!
>>29453113Lean in close."All right, now you fucking listen to me and you listen good: Achieving Zen has really, really changed my perspective on a lot of things, and one of them is that I'm not going to be afraid any more. I've been beaten up, robbed, degraded, and basically been butt-monkey to almost everyone and everything on this damned board, and you know what? I'm not going to take it any more. Now, you're going to tell me what you know or finding a new body is going to be the least of your problems.""Anons! Dats no ways ta treats a ladys!"
>>29453153Rolling for this.
>>29453113What were you saying about me? And why is Garush moaning in the bathroom?
>>29453113Hold her close and whisper in her ear.Whisper "I'm going to get drunk again."
>>29453197>hold her close and whisper u r a faget
>>29453153and this never happens because it and all votes for it are odds
>>29453197I like the more rapey solution.
>>29453188>What were you saying about me?"FUCKING NOTHING CALM DOWN">And why is Garush moaning in the bathroom?"Explosive diarrhea. He ate bad meatbread this morning.""NOW PUT ME DOWN OR I'LL RIP THE FLESH OF YOUR FACE OFF-"
>>29453367>>29453153This, and hopefully get fucking evens.
>>29453318>>29453380>All right, now you fucking listen to me and you listen good: Achieving Zen has really, really changed my perspective on a lot of things, and one of them is that I'm not going to be afraid any more. I've been beaten up, robbed, degraded, and basically been butt-monkey to almost everyone and everything on this damned board, and you know what? I'm not going to take it any more. Now, you're going to tell me what you know or finding a new body is going to be the least of your problems.>Anons! Thats ams no ways of treatings ladys!
>>29453430Anon: "You didn't hear what she called you."Garush: "Its doesn'ts matters. You shouldn'ts threatens girls. It's nots manly. You gots ta treats 'em tenderlys."
>>29453430Give her a lick. "That's okay. She's only part lady anyway."
>>29453580Anon: Whisper into her ear and say "And if you keep this shit up, I'll sodomize your throat and cum out your nose"
>>29453666Can it be this but more graphic?
>>29453666Nah, we need something less rapey but just as threatening."And if you keep this up, I'll have to show you how to reach zen too" perhaps.
>>29453666M-maybe a bit too evil, 666
>>29453666SATAN DEMANDS IT!
>>29453676666 Anon here, this pls. I was just throwing shit out there.
>>29453580>That's okay. She's only part lady anyway.
>>29453666You retract your tongue before Yorick bites onto it, whispering to her:>And if you keep this shit up, I'll sodomize your throat and cum out your noseShe whispers back, "Go on, plant your tongue on me again- I'll bite it off."
>>29453892"You's actings just likes da monsta."The... fuck?
>>29453910"Big talk. Here!"Throw her to Garush and go check on your sausages.
>>29453951Oh no our sausages
>>29453951Check those sausages before you burn down another building.
>>29453937>Garush! She wants you to go gay for me.
>>29453985>"I wholeheartedly refuse"
>>29453974>>29453984>Big talk.>Here!You throw her to Garush, whom catches her immediately. You didn't glance back when you head into his kitchen.The sausages are fully cooked.
>>29454153>Offer vodka sausages to Garush>Consume the rest
>>29454153Wonder why we got so angry at her.Oh, right.She's a bitch.Plate sausages.
My power goes out for one day, and suddenly anon remembers he achieved zen and is now threatening to rape Yorick?Damn man.
>>29454304With the absence of Neckbeard, /tg/ has to vent its more aggressive side some other way.I feel like the character of Anon has a lot of flexibility, though. He's got multiple personalities to fall back on now.
>>29454355He's not schizo, he's just accepted his failings and negatives as well as his positives and embraced them.I'd have put "successes" in there too, but c'mon. He's Anon.
>>29454174You had plated the vodka sausages.
>>29454438Sorry, looked like they were still in the pan to me.That being the case, breakfast is served.
>>29454355True enough. I tend to prefer him as the crybaby bitch and leave Beardy as the outlet for our collective insanity, but at this point his character is pretty up in the air. I'm also pretty sure we didn't remember achieving zen due to the massive hangover that ensues after all your precious bodily fluids turn to alcohol, but it doesn't really matter at this point I guess.>>29454153Procure the now cooked sausages and vodka. Deep in our heart, guided by our crippling alcoholism, we know what we must do.
>>29454438Who could those legs belong to?
>>29454509I'd just say that he was relieving some built up stress. Together, him and Garush are the sane guys.
It's time to reunite with Garush. We've been kind of a dick recently. Have we even thanked him for saving us?
>>29454730Seconding this.>>29454599And I agree with this.We should thank Garush and apologize for being a Grognard. The alcohol will soothe us and bring us closer to zen.
>>29454754Share the acoholism.
>>29454472You began to dig into your breakfast.Wait.
You just told Yorick you were a Zen.YOU DON'T REMEMBER BECOMING A ZEN.
>>29454730>>29454754You remember that you also acted like a dick today.So you offer Garush some of your breakfast, thanking and apologizing to hi-
>>29455343Man, what is it today with orifices and terrible things coming out of them.
>>29455343Anon just got food poisoning, didn't he? I warned you.
>>29455343>Try to avoid passing out in your own vomit>Fail
>>29455400Forgot to add.We should probably run to the garbage can and once we've finished throwing up 200 proof puke, clean up our mess.
>>29455343Vomit more! Unlock new skill!
>>29455442>Unlock new skill!Water Gun?
I think it's high time we actually did something instead of putzing around in the apartment. Let's get this story going, guys.What is our next objective. Neckbeard is still out there, there is a rogue unicorn who might or might not know we are alive, and a common enemy.I'm not saying we shouldn't find someway to team up...But we should totally find some way to team up.
>>29455530Charlotte would be a last resort. There's obviously a history between her and anon, and anon was totally willing to lead Beardy to her. Asides, we ripped of Yorick's head, beat the shit out of Blinky and Anry, and Mimic would also be hard pressed to work with them.We do have an extremely dangerous common enemy, but still man. I don't know if it'll be that easy.
>>29455530Well, what's even our objective here? I mean, we're safe and Beardy doesn't know where we are. Let's just lay low till-BAM!Charlotte: Alright, faggots, stop ramming each other in the ass and tell me why the fuck some naked two-mouthed freak just tried to kill me!Charlotte and company attack!
>>29455602I don't care how you do it, it would be a better story to unite wary people against a powerful enemy.Even when they inevitably lose.We need to do something, though. This feels a lot like stalling. Any propositions?
>>29455436You rush toward the garbage. Unfortunately, you slip on your beer-puke and fall to the floor. Beer floods the kitchen floor.>>29455442You continue to vomit. You haven't unlocked anything yet, but this vomit is strangely tasty.
>>29455625I like it.
>>29455679Well, someone like Garush should clean up the vomit with a mop and bucket.And after that we should all head out to gather info.
>>29455679Pass out to the sound of Yorrick laughing at you.
>>29455663I think it would be fun to have them develop their own plans to deal with Beardy separately. Beardy is the point of convergence, and the two groups meet up as their plans are set in motion. I think it makes things more interesting and tosses more stuff up in the air. Their plans could conflict and they'll have to compromise, work together, or find a way to deal with the other group as well as Beardy.That said, I'd say we should figure out who we know that could be useful for killing Beardy. Build a team. Garush seems like the kinda guy who'd know at least one /k/ommando, but that should probably come later. Anon might know some wizards, but you know how they are...
>>29455803I also like it.Whatever. Maybe we go to other threads outside of /tg/ for help?
>>29455840/k/ is the only board that really leaps to mind. But we're close buddies with /k/. There are no doubt many /k/ommando taverns in /tg/, brimming with gentlemen like pic related. However, /k/ommandos should be a last resort.Right now, I just think we should keep on the down low, not running around looking for people to help us kill the bearded menace. Call up our friends with fighting ability or unique talents, gear up, and think of a way to kill Beardy.
>>29455840Ask /x/ for help, because they deal with Paranormal all the time.And maybe /m/, to get powerups via technology.
>>29455948>>29456043I would think Anon would know someone in /e/. And /d/ is a friend to /tg/.Anyway, what are we going to do immediately? We can't have Charlotte bust in now, can we?
>>29456067Let's see what she's up to. CHANGE PLACEs
>>29456067Anon is busy puking.We should ask Mimic if he has any associates that could help us.Also, have Garush reflect on anybody he knows that could help us.Anon can... keep puking, I guess.
>>29455679I suggest we go back to neckbeard
>>29458979Think he's done with his latest catch yet?
>>29459079Yes, he is a tg neckbeard
>>29456067>/d/>helpingi don't know why you would think getting raped in various ways most of which previously thought impossible is help
>>29459671One word anonBondage
After the vomit stops, if we still have an appetite, ask Garush what happened over breakfast. If not, ask him while holding a bucket. Do we remember telling him to flee from that battle with the neckbeard?
Rolled 11>>29462795Awaiting our dark Master.
Rolled 20>>29464194Reviving from Page 9.
Rolled 12>>29466244Final bump.
>>29468493This has been archived. It doesn't matter if it falls off the board any more.
Rolled 1>>29468542My bad, then.
>>29455720>>29455738Garush sighs, and went to fetch a mop and bucket to clean up the mess.Yorick continues to laugh at the situation.
>>29469626>character selectThe receptionist at the thread in which the neckbeard started peeing everywhere
>>29469626Neckbeard, no doubt.
Rolled 1>>29469656>>29469892Conflicting answers, the dice will decide!1 is OP of the thread in which Neckbeard started peeing everywhere2 is Neckbeard himself, still deciding on loot
You are the receptionist. There is a detective here investigating last night's murder and assault, and it looks like he's asking the assault victim questions.However, you don't really give two shits and you are considering killing yourself sometime this week.
>>29470616Start drinking heavily
>>29470616Tell the detective it was some mecha yankee ogre thing.
>>29470616take the detective's hat without asking
>>29470616Decide the best method would be hurling ourselves off the top of the post.
>>29470616Become an hero. Not an hero we deserve, but an hero that we need.
>>29470616This fellow sounds like a guy who is just out of fucks to give. This could be a lot of fun, actually.
make sure to sell your sould to the devil for unimaginable power before you become an hero
>>29470658Once we have imbibed alcohol, toss the bottle behind us and walk purposefully out the door.
>>29470896Or we could use the stored alcohol to breath fire.
>>29471080This is true.We don't really care about anything, right? Why not?Just sit at our desk, practice fire breathing.
>>29470658You do not possess any alcohol at the moment.>>29470692He's on his way to your desk, the perfect opportunity.He also tried asking you something about questions but you don't really pay attention.>>29470724You consider doing this tonight.
>>29471224Tell him we're going to go make a new post, about blackjack, and hookers.Then storm out.
>>29471224Steal his hat, duck under the desk and assume fetal position.
>>29471224Ask him if he has any hard liquor. Any good detective worth his salt should have hard liquor on his person.We're going to try fire breathing.
Ugh, I really need to get out of this god awful site... I wonder what 420chan is like this time of year.
>>29471317meant to put that in quotes
>>29471224>take hat and say you will trade it for hard liquor
>>29448061>Where do you look first?UNDER the fridge.
Rolled 8>>29471224"What do you want, dick? I mean, detective. Dicktective."
>>29472137I think I'll start calling my urologist a dicktective.
>>29471276>>29471624You swipe his hat as soon as he came close, and immediately ducked under your desk into a fetal position.All the while you demanded hard liquor in return.
>>29472442What is with anons and being boozehounds?I'm sensing some incoming police brutality.
The detective took his canister and wiggled it in front of you."I just wanted some information, lady. Not to play games."
>>29472442from henceforth communicate to him by using your hands as puppets. make them argue with each other as well as discussing things with him
>>29472486I just wanted some alchohol
>>29472486Swipe the canister.
>>29472486"Look, this is currently the most entertaining thing in my life right now. Are you seriously gonna deny me that?"
>>29472528Seconded."Give me booze. Cave dweller demands tribute."Detective: Receive distress call about disturbance at weird charm shop.
>>29472486He was here. Him and his gloriously horrid hair...
>>29472486"And I want some booze, pal.Listen, I don't really care if you shoot me. I'll give you your hat back if you lend me your hip flask and a light. And yeah, I know you have both. I'll won't even drink it all, promise."
>>29472528You swiped his canister.The detective sighs and slouches onto your desk."Are you really this bored?"
>>29472823Yes? Enough bad stuff has happened in this thread for a century.
>>29472823Yes...wanna build a pillow fort?
>>29472823point to a floorboard"no I am that board"
>>29472823Yeah.Working in a place like this man, you see it all. I've seen people murdered in their posts, the darkest horrors of /d/, things I can't even describe. It is boredom punctuated with horror, and I am out of fucks.Give me a light, would ya?
Rolled 1Let's have the dice decide on there.>>294728661>>294728722>>294729043
>>29472866>Yes? Enough bad stuff has happened in this thread for a century."Then would you mine talking about some of that 'bad stuff' with me? Like last night, do you remember who or what you let up to the 4th floor where the victim had reside?"
>>29473155Could I get a light first? I'll tell you everything you want to know, buddy.
>>29473155He PEED ON ME.
>>29473155It was horrible. He smelled like smoke, meatbread, and anal lube.
>>29473217And everywhere else, for that matter
>>29473155nohe might come after me nextjust leave me aloneLEAVE ME ALONEEE
>>29473155Run out of the building screaming.
>>29473155He...it...was like an animal. Furry, but not from /d/. He had a sort of mane.And he was pissing absolutely fucking everywhere, like he was marking his scent.
>>29473250>No.>He might come after me next.>Just leave me alone."He won't come after you if /we catch him/, Anonymous. Just tell me what you know. And hand my hat back.">Fine..>He...it...was like an animal. Furry, but not from /d/. He had a sort of mane.>And he was pissing absolutely fucking everywhere, like he was marking his scent."Uh huh.. Did he threaten or coerce you to tell him the victim's floor?"
>>29473501Yes, there was definitely a lot of threatening
>>29473501>"Uh huh.. Did he threaten or coerce you to tell him the victim's floor?""I AM NOT TELLING YOU THAT"And then run out of the thread naked.
>>29473501Yes... if by "Coerce," you mean scared me bad enough I had to change my panties.
>>29473501Nope, he asked and I told him. I didn't want him to piss on me.
>>29473708This.Also"Officer, you wouldn't mind givin' me a light would ya?"C'mon guys, we need to breathe fire in front of an officer of the law AT LEAST once, right?
>>29473708And stand up. You're a goddamn adult. But keep the booze.
>>29473599So just thinking out loud here, what's the consensus on how to play this guy?I see some posts playing him as a guy who's crazy and does crazy things, others as paranoid/scared/disturbed, and others that try to play him as a guy who is crazy and out of fucks. Should we pick one, or just keep going like this and see which one catches on?
>>29474003Teli said it was a "she" I think?
>>29474055I actually assumed that was an insult, since you just stole his hat and hid under the desk.I could always be wrong though.
>>29473708>Nope, he asked and I told him. I didn't want him to piss on me.You raise yourself a little higher.>>29473758>You wouldn't mind givin' me a light would ya?"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult."
>>29474368>"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult.""Sure, whatever you say."Stand up, return hat>"Anything else, officer?"
>>29474368"I will do one of those things..."
>>29474368The guy had a mouth coming out of his chest and wanted some info. So are we done here?Also >>29474411
>>29474368Comply with the officers request
>>29474368>"Only if you give back my hat and stand up like an adult."NO NEVER
Prefer>>29474427in favor of>>29474426
I'm all for random zanyness, as long as we keep characters in character. I feel like this anon would be more likely to just deal with this guy.
>>29474546Yeah.We should keep the chaotic randumb stuff to neckbeard.What makes this quest awesome is the spontaneity of it, both on the part of the QM and the participants. But without consistent characters, it all falls apart.
>>29474602Neckbeard:BBEGHungryHornyAnon:a bitchalcoholicsmart-ishYankee:Sounds like Swisgarrprotective of Anontotal bro
>>29474698>YankeeHis name's Garush.
>>29474698Not the same guy who wrote quoted post, writing my take on other characters.Yorick:If anon's a bitch, then Yorick is a BITCH.Has friends, so must have some kinda soft side.likes boys.Garush may be growing on herCharlotte:Tough, not easy to scare.Not one for nonsense.Has some leadership ability, as she seems to be in charge of the gang.Mimic:He seems helpful.Friendly, I kinda imagine him like the swiss.The receptionist:He's up in the air right now. Personally I want to play him as the guy who has run out of fucks, but we'll just have to see what happens.
>>29474368Start walking up to the top of the post.
>>29474991Receptionist:Former /k/omando who moved to /tg/ after a traumatic experience that robbed him of his balls.
>>29474426You stood up, and kept the hat on your head.>I will do one of those things..."God dammit.""I'm not here to play around, just.. Answer some questions, okay?""So, you gave him the floor number to the suspect because you didn't want him to.. Pee on you?"
>>29475159That could be a lot of fun.I'd like him get netted along with Garush or Charlotte and just see what happens. He could act as a sniper. I can see it now. He's on the roof of a thread with a sun umbrella, lawn chair, radio, and a cooler.>Hey, you see any hostiles?>*gulp gulp*- Ahhh, uh, no.>Goo- What are you drinking?>Beer.>What?!>It's a muscle relaxant. Anyway, I'm probably a better shot when I'm drunk.He's seen so many things as a receptionist for that thread. He even lost his damn balls. He just doesn't care anymore.
>>29475495that is correctI figured it would be an unpleasant experience
>>29475495Yes, exactly. Do you know how hard it is to get the smell of piss out of clothes?
>>29475495Well yeah. I didn't think he was gonna murder her.Here's your hat, buddy. Now could I please get that light.
>>29475495"Yes, damn it. Besides, he looked like the unholy rape-child of /x/ and /d/."
>>29475495>That and he had an exoskeleton and a giant mouth in his stomach
>>29475495And get to the top of that post. You've got a job to do.
Rolled 3>>29475524>>29475558>>29475594You decide to let the dice choose your words.
>>29475765"The thing was horror incarnate, and I was scared. It hasn't been easy for me, and that just... it looked like /x/ fucked /d/."Return hat and canister.
>>29475594>That and he had an exoskeleton and a giant mouth in his stomach"I see. I assume you didn't knew he was going to murder Ruby?"There's another detective at the door, telling him that there's a distress call about a disturbance at a Charm Dealer's house. The hatless detective tells the detective at the door to wait a minute, he's almost done here, then turns back to you."Well, OP?"
>>29475955Had no idea, man. For all I know he was just gonna piss on her and leave.
>>29475955>"I see. I assume you didn't knew he was going to murder Ruby?"No.How would have I known?
>>29475955>"Well, OP?"Did he just call us a fag?
>>29475955"I had no idea. Honestly, the way he was talking to the group in the lobby, he was looking for a cheap lay. You know how elves are."
>>29475955Of course not. Now get out, I've got some business I need to take care of on the roof.>get your affairs in order
>>29475955He was... eccentric, aint no doubt abut that. But I didn't figure he was gonna murder her. He looked like the bastard of some eldritch horror, sure, but we get a fair amount of /d/enizens here in /tg/,Before ya leave officer, could I please have that light?
>>29475955"Of course not. I mean, he surely was weird, but I didn't thought he would kill her. Stranger things have been seen around here, and those weren't murderers."
>>29476044>I had no idea. Honestly, the way he was talking to the group in the lobby, he was looking for a cheap lay. You know how elves are."I see. Thank you."The detective swipes back his hat.
"I'll be on my way now, do not hesitate to call us if you see the suspect."
>>29477590"Hey... listen, do you need somebody else on the force? If I have to work in this damned thread one more day, I'm going to snap and jump off the roof. Er, but I can pass a psych evaluation. Swear to it."
>>29477648Begin sweating at the thought of seeing him again.
>>29477648We still have his flask thing.Drink liquor. Find a lighter.
>>29477694>Be the Detective"This board is rotten to the core. They put on the act of being law-abiding posters, but really they'll put tits up behind spoilers at the least provocation, and this piss-fetish monster is just the latest in a long line of deviant scum infesting my fair board. I can't let this go unpunished. I am Detective Moe of the M.O.D., and this is my story."
>>29477714You downed the liqour and pulled out the lighter YOU HAD IN YOUR POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.
>>29478369Do the thing.
>>29478369Set it on fire, Marvin. Set the building on fire.Really, it's the only way you're going to get the smell out.
>>29478124I like character ideas like this, or ideas like the give-no-fucks receptionist. The problem with having characters with more distinct and fleshed out personalities, is that a collective would have trouble playing them.
>>29478369>YOU HAD IN YOUR POCKET THE WHOLE TIME.Well, I feel retarded now.I'm sorry.
>>29478475That's how we ended up with Beardy.
>>29478533We've done a pretty good job self moderating with other characters like Garush. Earlier in this thread though, the character we had kinda established for anon was shoved aside for something much more like Beardy.
>>29478687I blame that on an IC nervous breakdown, and really, Beardy started out as an Anon too.
>>29478687>the character we had kinda established for anon was shoved aside for something much more like BeardyHave you ever had a campaign pick back up after a few months of not playing? Trying to get back into character can be rough.
>>29478763To be fair, it was only a couple weeks.
>>29478733Yeah, that's what I'm rolling with right now.>>29478763I figured that was probably a part of it.
>>29478426You did the thing.
>>29478908Go to your bunker on the old /x/ side of /tg/. Time to gear up to go beard hunting.
>>29478885Maybe it's time we kind of... set the characters in stone? Establish characteristics, etc.
>>29478774Yeah, but we're talking about multiple people.
>>29479025I'd say we have Garush, Anon, Yorick, and Beardy pretty well fleshed out.Charlotte is pretty clearly of very strong will, but we don't know much more about here. Mimic seems pretty friendly, but we don't know much more about him.
>>29479133Mimic, to me, is like recruiting monsters in Dragon Quest: Just there to flesh out the party till you get all the main characters.
>>29479159Fair enough. That works.
>>29478958You are now Charlotte.You are at home. You have just received a distressing call from White-Hair, that contributes to your list of problems.
>>29479334Well.Anon is still alive, though I'm not sure how much we care.We should probably go rescue white hair.
>>29479334I am also seconding a rescue mission. White-Hair is a valuable member of our crew and it's probably not-Why do we appear to be in our night-gown in front of blinky? What tawdry shit is this!?
>>29479334Recall exactly what she was telling you before she hung up.
>>29479334Well? Describe what she said in full!
>>29479486You'll have to figure out a good plan on rescuing he-It's a tank top. You are in some casual clothing.
>>29479790Basically, White has told of the Pompadorc student turning into some powerful, magical yankee, defeated her and dragged her over to his home along with Anon. She claims that she tried to save him but no avail.So Pompadorc rendered her unmobile and commenced netorare on her with Anon, giving you unnecessary detailing on how it went and how he forced Anon into some new, frillier clothing and a collar. White was threatened with "Join me or die", where as if she didn't submit to him he will grind up her bones and tenderize her flesh, stick her in a stew and force-feed her to Anon mixed in with his own body fluids.So, bullshit fanfic story or not, you should probably go find her just in case.
>>29480019Here is the plan: first, call gang. Assault Pompadork place and free White-hair. Kick Anon in nuts. Then, get some twinkies and watch a good movie.
>>29480155Blinky and Anry at the ready? Gear up and move out.This calls for the big guns. Equip... the sparkling mahou shoujo wand.
>>29480155"Wait, Anon is with the Orc and not murdered by the monster?"
>>29480155Remember that she's only a head. Go rescue her anyway.
>>29480155Realize that this means that Anon is alive, not dead as we were told.
>>29480227We don't know that. This is the first we've spoken to her since she was decapitated, which we were not present for.
>>29480254No, but Anry and Blinky were both present.I recall Anry relayed that to Charlotte.
>>29480300Teli, you still here?
>>29480198You head up to your room and retrieved a box hidden under your bed. This box contains your mahou shoujo wand, indeed. It has been a while since you last u-
>>29480236Anon is alive.
This means you get the opportunity at wrecking his shit for that picture he took.
>>29481148Fuck the wand.Get the bokken.We're going full banchou.
>>29481148It is time to horn anon.
>>29481180NO!No, FUCK YOU.This is not going to fly!
>>29481148lose control of you emotions, let the hate consume you and mold you into something greater, something far more powerful, something... evil
>>29481148Get the shears, rope, rubber bands and pliers.Its time to make some bitch squeal like a little girl.
>>29481166You have no bokken, it just isn't your style. So it's either the wand, or your hooves.
>>29481180Oh, you'll do more than horn him..
>>29481240YOU WILL IMPREGNATE HIS ASS.You can feel the hate and anger fuel your veins, and take over your mi- Oh there's a knock on your bedroom door."Charlotte? You ready? We have to go!"
>>29481838answer in too sugary notes "Coming! ~<3"Dont forget get rope and shears. Today someone WILL lose his balls!
>>29481838Grab the wand and head for Garush's place.
I'll say it, since nobody else has. Thread's sinking. We've got a few hours before it slips off the board.
>>29481923Update the archive, please, I need to sleep.
>>29481939G'night, Teli. Thanks so much for everything.
>>29481939It'll automatically refresh. There's plenty of time.