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File: 1389759313907.jpg-(36 KB, 482x352, Damn, nature, you scary.jpg)
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What ancient animals would be good for a campaign? What hordes would your BBEG use? Which would be best for mounts?

Pic very related.
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Dire Tardigrade.
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Awakened Giant Horseshoe Crab living-tanks
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>>29523298
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>>29523349
>that fucking filename, my sides
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Dire
Jerboa
Cavalry
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>>29522774
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>>29523157
gotta agree with you, this fucker is one tough and I mean TOUGH sonuva bitch
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Also , an awakened one of these little guys would make for a good sidekick
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Aligator predecessors reporting in.
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Not sure what's up with the filename on this one.
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>>29523463
Muad'dib!
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Dinosuars feel a little played out. What if we give them low metabolism and full body coats, like some current research seems to suggest.
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>>29523298
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Fuck the kraken, sea scorpions all day erry day.
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Dire wolves not dire enough for you? A wolf relative.
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I never megafauna I didn't like.
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Imagine being plucked up like Hopper from A Bug's Life by one of these fuckers.
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>>29524167

Or just giant birds in general, really.
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Moar.
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>>29524192
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>>29524188
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>>29524260
Sorry, wrong pic. Not quite class aves but close.
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>>29523349
Okay, really where does it keep it's organs? It has limbs, those flappy things there that I assume are to help it swim or are gills, and then shell.
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>>29524293
And some other not quite aves things.
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>>29524299
Since it's an anthropoid, I'm assuming it's got a pretty simplistic organ set-up.
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>>29524327
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>>29524260
10/10 would mount and lead cavalry charge with.
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>>29524044
that's a hoofed animal more related to sheep
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>>29523787
If that's not a freaking cold-drake, I don't know what is.

MOUNT!
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>>29524192
is that a giant manatee or walrus or something?
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HAHA! time for one of the most horrifying scenes in film!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTWYQhTT388
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>>29524192
that camel is pretty sweet

>>29524327
what the hell did that big narrow snouted fucker eat
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>>29525903
Looks like an outdated model of a plaesciousaur, so, fish I guess
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>>29525619
You're right. Bears are about in that weight range so I was confused.
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>>29522774
Dire Hallucigenia.
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This thread is amazing.
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>>29525983
That picture is upside down.
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>>29525897
Love me some giant maggots.
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>>29525897
that scene always creeped the hell out of me. One of the best parts of that ridiculously long movie.
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>No mention of Megabrodons
Y'all niggers better hold onto your butts
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>>29525897
Jesus fucking Christ.
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>>29525897
>Blighttown.mov
I did not need to see this. Oh hey look, it's Jack Black
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>>29526120
messed up part, those "maggots" are actually descended from intestinal parasites
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>>29526496
Aren't they more like leeches?
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>>29526496
and their name translates to "Vile Meat Weasle"
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>>29526520
this is stated in the coffee table book, they are descended from internal parasites that found a home in the briny muck of those pits
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>>29525897
>leeches

I've been on internets too long
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>>29526595
visit the vore threads on /d/ you'll find a home there
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>>29525897
man everything is dire on that island, even the rexes are at least twice as big
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>>29526615
>Parasites grow to several hundred times their size
Man, rex really got the short end of the stick huh?
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>>29526628
Rex was already pretty dire, them and the other dinos kinda maxed out the gage
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>>29526628
If rex was 100 times bigger they'd have to fight Godzilla, and that's a losing proposition if I ever heard one
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>>29526643
I don't know man, The World vs Mega Godzilla sounds pretty metal if you ask me. Just bring in some Jaegers and McClane and you've got yourself the movie of the year, all years
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>>29522774
Fuck your boats, this is my fleet.
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>>29526856
state fossile of Illinois
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>>29526856
I wonder, did mantis shrimps exist back in the day, and were they bigger?
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>>29526870
to my understanding the Mantis Shrimp is both new and highly developed
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Ancient? Bah. Modern dire hippo.
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>>29527314
Hippo skeletons are on the same page as sloth skeletons in the creepy anatomy book.
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>>29527805
This post made me realize I've never actually seen a sloth skeleton.
And then I googled and shat bricks. Jesus christ that's horrifying. Why aren't necromancers keeping these things as skeletal pets?
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No one suggested Paraceratherium yet? Largest land mammal in history reporting in.
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>>29528217
A few more suggestions and a size comparison since my first image didn't tell you anything about size.
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>>29528217
I was honestly about to, but I forgot what they were called.
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They're pretty neat, so it's indeed sad that they don't show up in fantasy settings like mammoths or sabertooth cats do.
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>>29528166
Dire sloth skeleton
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Terror birds are among my absolute favorites.
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>>29528303
Giant sloths are a lot less creepy than modern sloths, actually. The skeletons just look like a big, heavy beast with a tiny head, rather than some kind of nightmare demon that's come to drag me to hell with it's long, spindly arms.
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Dire fiendish anomalocaris.
Because Dagon is the best obyrith.
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>>29528431
>anomalocaris
This nigga gets it.
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>>29526119
Jump in a fire cunt.
They're spikes.
>ibn4 muh small markings on rock
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>>29528478
Also, colossal opabinias.
>tfw party thinks its a generic plesiosaurus
>tfw its not
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File: 1389784818800.jpg-(68 KB, 900x600, Rhino_fuckyeah.jpg)
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Any of the species of giant rhinoceros would do nicely, they're my favourite animals by a long shot. The ultimate in armoured mount.
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>>29526628
>mfw people call the V Rex's in King Kong T Rex's around me
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Suddenly dire Dunkleosteus all over the place.
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>>29528546
In my homebrew setting that will probably never get finished, unicorns are heavily influenced by woolly rhinos. They're neat.
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Proto-Whales are scary.
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>>29528555
Whats the full name then?
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Woolly rhino mounts, fuck yeah!
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>>29528595
Very Rex?
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>>29528595
Ventrasaurus Rex
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>>29522774
These things in OPs pic are the great destroyers of worlds.
Sharks are the guardians of the sea and are trying to keep them from destroying the world.
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>>29528613
Where does dunkleosteus fit in this mythology?
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>>29528560
But they were pretty dire on their own.
>>29528591
Tired of generic crocodiles in your games? Try this instead!
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>>29524260
Oviraptor is beautiful.
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>>29528628
eater of the world-eaters
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>>29528638

Eaters of everything.
Beasts driven mad into a fit of endless hunger.
Never tired.
Never scared.
Only FUCKING hungry.
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>>29523888
What does a lower metabolism even imply for the animal? That they had to eat more?
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>>29528595
Don't listen to them. It's called a Vastatosaurus Rex.
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>>29528634
One of the most underrated dinosaurs. Especially after it turned out that the famous fossil they were named after wasn't an oviraptor trying to poach another dinosaurs eggs, but a parent looking after it's brood.
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>>29524188
>>29524167
Giant birds is creepy in a really unique way. It's like birds in real life always kind of look sorta calculating and loveless, like their eyes are just cold precision. Then making them not tiny and giving them power over the average man is all the more terrifying. They'd be like inquisitive psychopathic children, poking around in your new and, until now, undiscovered innards, cocking their heads and shit.
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People who pretend that dinosaurs were better before they were depicted with feathers are wrong, since the knowledge that some baby dinosaurs might have been born fussy and downy makes them so much cuter.
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>>29528684
>wasn't an oviraptor trying to poach another dinosaurs eggs, but a parent looking after it's brood.
Is that true? Damn you children's dinosaur books being wrong!
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>>29528684
Agreed, it and Dilophosaurus are some of my favorite dinosaurs. I love me some head crests.
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>>29528708
It's a relatively newly discovered fact.
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>>29528706
Please, nothing beats tiny scaled monstrosities. Just look at them! No need for fluff!
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>>29528708
According to more recent finds, yes.

From wikipedia:

"Its name is Latin for 'egg taker' or "egg seizer", referring to the fact that the first fossil specimen was discovered atop a pile of what were thought to be Protoceratops eggs, and the specific name philoceratops means "lover of ceratopsians", also given as a result of this find. In his 1924 paper, Osborn explained that the name was given due to the close proximity of the skull of Oviraptor to the nest (it was separated from the eggs by only 4 inches or 10 centimetres of sand). However, Osborn also suggested that the name Oviraptor "may entirely mislead us as to its feeding habits and belie its character".[1] In the 1990s, the discovery of nesting oviraptorids like Citipati proved that Osborn was correct in his caution regarding the name. These finds showed that the eggs in question probably belonged to Oviraptor itself, and that the specimen was actually brooding its eggs, when it died at the nest."


Oh, and brachiosaurus probably didn't have nostrils on it's forehead. Sorry.
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>>29528726
I mean look at it, could you imagine riding this thing like a motorcycle and then blinding people with poison. And yes I know that there is no proof they spit anything, BUT A MAN CAN DREAM CAN'T HE!?
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>>29528708
>>29528759
Keep in mind, it's still perfectly possible that oviraptors ate eggs, as their beaks certainly could have handled it. But we don't actually have any direct evidence that they did, either (now that we know the eggs were actually it's own), they could have eaten mollusks or something instead.
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>>29528759
>brachiosaurus probably didn't have nostrils on it's forehead. Sorry.
At least it existed. Brontosaurus, and Torosaurus got fucked over hard. You know, by never existing.
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>>29528303
HelloMyNameIsSteve.jpg
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>>29528726
One of my favorites is therizinosaurus. One meter long claws, motherfuckers.
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>>29528742
That's cute too, but it's no fluffy baby tyrannosaurus.
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>>29528813
Jesus Christ, I love Therizinosaurus.
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I always liked looking at Archaeopteryx as a kid. Was so amazed that it had feathers.
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>>29528832
Say that to my faces fucker and not online
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>>29528838
I know, right? I'm just a bit disappointed that they weren't in any dinosaur books when I was a kid, they're so awesome.
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>>29523157
I've always waned these creatures to be the inhabitants of the negative energy plane.

Basically that picture bu they're covered in tribal tatoos and shit and they feed on darkness.
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Deinonychus motherfuckers
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>>29528693
That's why Hitchcock's movie is so efficient.
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>>29528861
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>>29524327
what the hell. I never knew ichthyosaurs got that big.
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>>29528886
oh wait that turtle makes me thinks its not to scale. Dumb me
>>
Pretty much every theory we have about the extinct earth is the height of arrogance.

It all comes from fossils that tell us basically nothing besides the general shape of an animal, and every fossil together is probably less than one percent of the shit that actually happened.
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>>29528861
Oh god, I had the book that illustration is from. I wish I knew what happened to my dinosaur books.
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>>29528693
It's a proven fact that crows remember human faces and can recognize them after extended periods of time. On top of this, they hold grudges against humans that have "wronged" them. Even crazier, they communicate with other crows, informing them that they have a grudge on a person. The new crows then develop the same grudge.

They're just trying to faze humans out, and they're picking off the dicks first.
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>>29528807
It gets worse: there's a current theory that several species of Ceratopsidae (the family that triceratops is in) were actually just one species in various stages of growth. I.e. different horn shapes and such was just differences between adults and young animals, females and males and so on.

There's still a lot of debate over this, mind you.
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>>29528907
So do I anon...so do I. I had a super great christian dinosaur book that was super incorrect, in every aspect of everything.
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>>29528894
No Archelon actually got that big.
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>>29528935
So whats the ichthyosaur?
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>>29528903
Sort of true. But making wild guesses is the best we can do, since there's no other way of learning about the prehistoric past.

Besides, it's kinda fun trying to figure this out from just a few bones, footprints and fossilized poop. It's arrogant to pretend we actually know something for sure about these animals, but wanting to figure them out is just curiosity. Nothing wrong with that.
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>>29528886
Look up Shonisaurus.
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>>29524327
We need a megalodon in this picture
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>>29528949
>Shonisaurus
seems to lack a fin in the wiki page. A shame the dorsal fin makes the ichthyosaurs look cool
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>>29528934
My dad's a priest, so we had a couple of bullshit creationist books along with real dinosaur books. They were full with hilarious crap like "dilophosaurus fragile crests would have broken off if it tried to eat meat, so it probably used it's sharp teeth to eat fruits" and "stories about dragons prove that dinosaurs survived until modern time".
>>
>this thread

I didn't know so many other people enjoyed dinosaurs, and other prehistoric animals as much as I do. This was my entire age 4 to age 14.
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>>29528960
Yeah, that's the only ichthyosaur of that size that I can think of.
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>>29528941


>>29528948
Its not really 'making wild guesses'. From a dinosaurs bones we can see how its muscles attached, what diseases it had, get a good idea of how it moved especially when we also have footprints. Even make reasonable judgements on how its lungs worked and whether it was warm blooded or not.
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>>29528965
/tg/ fucking love prehistoric animals, since it combines our two passions: monsters and history. We have a thread like this at least once a month.
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>>29528964
Was that the one where it tried to prove Parasaurolophus breathed fire?
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>>29528969
what about the Shonisaurus hipstalaris
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>>29528973
I love /tg/.
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>>29528987
No, they weren't quite on that scale of bullshit. But it was still retarded new earth stuff.
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>>29528973
Don't forget science. Like that one time /tg/ figured out how a dragon could breathe fire, in theory
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>>29528868
Emo tardigrades?
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>>29529002
Damn, I'm trying to find someone who knows what it was called. I lost it, and would totally buy another. I haven't seen it since I was probably 10.
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>>29528923
Triceratops is the only species in the Ceratopsidae family that does not have perforations in it's bone frill, while Torosaurus is exactly the same, only bigger and with a bigger crest that has perforations due to growth.

Although I'm not keen on the 'wow, a new species', since right now there are FIVE different species of the Rhino (the closest thing to the triceratops we have), and I bet their skeletons don't look all that different.
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>>29529002
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>>29529006
That's been done before hasn't it? They have a flammable gas bladder, and some other chemical to ignite it, right? The gas bladder also keeps them light weight and helps them fly....theoretically of course.
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>>29529045
That was Flight of Dragons, dragons eat calcium bearing rocks and use their stomachs to liberate gaseous hydrogen. They breathe fire for defence or to reduce their buoyancy and the wings are just for propulsion and manoeuvring.
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>>29529045
Like a big axe spray can and a lighter? Ha
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>>29529045
I believe the solution was that dragons have enormous spleens, and they have to eat constantly in order to produce the flammable gases for their breathweapon. Something in that area, I wish I had the cap
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>>29525249

I loved that show. Why couldn't there be more?
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>>29529056
>>29529061
>>29529068

Those are all pretty similar. Basically it's a chemical bladder system. I'm pretty sure Reign of Fire used the same theory, and from the looks of it, so do the Wyverns in Game of Thrones.
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>>29529093
Because God doesn't love us anon.
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>>29529125
It sprays two fluids that mix outside it's mouth and combust.
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marsupial_lion These things are absolutely terrifying.
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>>29529056
Glanced over that book at my friend's house when I was a kid. Been looking for a scan of it recently because it intrigued me way back then, but all the links lead to the movie.
>>
>>29529093
Because Nigel got eaten in Primeval
>>
>>29528813
They look like some sort of fucked up nightmare turkey
>>
>>29523349
It seriously weirds me out that those things are more closely related to scorpions than they are to crabs.
>>
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I'll take a fleet of these boys in dire form, thank you.
>>
>>29528670

No, creatures with a lower metabolism have to eat less.
>>
Haast's Eagle anyone?
An extremely large one could have gotten up to 40 pounds with a 10 foot long wingspan. Fuckers were so huge they fucked with moas.
>>
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>>29530871
Forgot pic.
>>
>>29528166
>The feeling of rust against my salad fingers...
>>
>>29528813
If there was ever proof that there is no god and that the universe is an inherently hostile place that wants to kill you, Therizinosaurs were it.

If there was ever proof that there is a god and that he is inherently malicious, Therizinosaurs were also that.

Also, the one on the left knows how to strut its stuff.
>>
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>>29528861
>>
>>29531065
Please just do this with every picture in the thread. I find captioned extinct megafauna to be strangely hilarious.
>>
>>29531065
>what's an online

I lel'd
>>
>>29528965
Every kid likes dinosaurs, anon. They're like, psychologically attuned to 'em.
>>
>>29531130
But this extensively. I mean every kid likes T-Rex, I thought I was the only one learning genus names of every dinosaur known to man.
>>
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>>29531106
>>
>>29531130
Seriously, this.

This is why Jurassic Park is still loved by every kid who was alive in the 90s.
>>
>>29531202
>>29531164
Jurassic Park is what sparked this.
>>
>>29530913
*intangible noise from the aether*
>>
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>>29531191
>>
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>>29528634
She is.
>>
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>>29531065
>>
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>>29528726
>>
>>29531164
Sheeeeit, man. 5th grade for was basically

>paralophosaurus is so damn cuuute
>deinonychus kicks all the ass
>fuck you guys, pachycephalosaurus a best
>d-dilophosaurus is pretty cool, right

Dinosaurs were the great equalizer. The unifier. There were no black kids, mexican kids, rich kids, poor kids.

There were only dinosaurs.
>>
>>29531342
He is anon. I promise.
>>29531346
Damn, I wish I had cool friends in middle school. Or you know, any friends.
>>
>>29531346
Hells yeah.

Except that one weird fucker saying "nuh uh guys, brontosaurus is the best".
>>
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>>29531346

>mfw I used to play dinosaurs as a kid with my sister, and the other neighborhood kids.

While the game itself was basically a more elaborate form of tag, it was still tons of fun.
Few of us were predators, while others were herbivores.

The goal of the herbivores was to get berries from my family's berry bushes, while the predators patrolled the area, or laid in wait for ambushes and shit.
The nearby woods, and playground were ideal playing field for us.

Those were the days.
>>
>>29531391
He later brought a gun to school, fled the state, and became an overweight gay trucker.
>>
>>29531164
>only one
The fuck you were, nigga. Brachiosaurus was my fifth word.
>>
>>29528608
those tiny hind legs...
>>
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>>
>>29531418
I WAS HOME SCHOOLED DAMMIT. I didn't know many other children. The ones I did know thought there were only four dinosaurs.
>>
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>>29523735
>>29528868
>>29523157

they need psychic abilities :3
>>
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>>29531394
Motherfucking, truck-stopping, dino-stomping,

RAPTOR TAG.

>mfw some little girl no more than four feet tall leapt into the air and raptor-kicked my fatass best friend in the neck and backflipped off of him making him faceplant in the dirt

I have never laughed so hard in my life.
>>
>>29531065
My sides. Fuckin saved.
>>
>>29528969
true, but only if you have at least partialy complete skelettons. unfortionately, in many cases all we have is like a toe, 3 teeth and half a rib.
>>
>>29524192
>>29524231
>>29524327
>>29524385
I never cease to be amazed at how freakishly HUGE some prehistoric creatures. Especially those colossal sauropods. What was so different back then to make life so spectacularly large?

I remember hearing somewhere that the atmosphere had a different oxygen content, or something to that effect. Was that it?
>>
>>29531618

I know that's the case with insects, not sure about flesh'n'blood creatures.
>>
>>29523787
Oh nice, Alligator Descendants come from Tigrex. Good to know.

*Swallows gun barrel*
>>
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Do you guys remember the show Dinosaur King and how it was basically Pokemon. I mean seriously. Alpha Gang? Regardless I fucking loved it because I was 12 and anything with the word dinosaur in the title turned me on.
>>
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Meet Helicoprion, also known as Spiral Saw. Sharks have some freaky ancestors and relatives.
I feel like God was more creative before humans evolved. On one hand, we'd never survive with beasties like this hanging around, on the other, a trip to the zoo would be terrifying and/or awesome.
>>
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>>29531771
Seriously though, fuck Helicoprion. That's just not fair.
>>
>>29531771
I've seen documentaries about this guy. Did anyone ever find some convincing evidence as to what the heck its jaw-a-majig was actually for/what it actually looked like?
>>
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>>29522774
I love giant insects

Don't know why
>>
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>>29531771
>>
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>>29531191
>>29531337
>>29531276
FUCKING GOLD
>>
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>>29522774
I don't have ancient animals but can I post bugs?
>>
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Anyone scared of snakes?
Meet Titanboa.
>>
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>>29531825
Maybe because they're fucking rad?
>>
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>>
>>29531849
That would be terrifying scaled up. That mouth, man! What is that, exactly? Looks like a dragonfly larvae?
>>
>>29531867
I've heard lots of claims of bullshit about that one.
>>
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>>29531895
Yeah it's a dragonfly nymph
>>
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>>
>>29531771
>>29531805
I thought that was an old, outdated reconstruction?
>>
>>29531825
That's adorable.
>>
>>29531913
My mistake then. Oh well. I will still consider using it for DnD. It need not be paleontologically accurate. It's fantasy after all!
>>
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>>29531905
>>
>>29531905
FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKNO
>>
>>29531907
The whole "lel armor" part kinda ruins it.
>>
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>>29531942
Giant spiders will make your players fear forests
>>
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Tolkein's Giant Eagles. They were real!

> "Legends from early settlers and native Maori had it that these eagles could pick up and devour small children."
Nopenopenopenope
>>
>>29531945
I disagree.
>physique that is still vulnerable to sharpened anything
got me
>>
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>>29531825
Roll san
>>
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>>29531943
>>
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Say hello to Purussaurus.
>>
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>>29532004
>>
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>>29532038
>>
>>29532006
Jumping spiders are a miracle of the universe.
>>
>>29531342
holy fuck someone used my pic!
>>
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>>29532058
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPsBbA6lVcU
>>
>>29531437
eaglesaurus?
>>
>>29531704
never saw it, but I do love me some Fossil Fighters
delicious alien dinosaur waifu
>>
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>>29532083
>>
>>29531640
the thing with insects is that they dont have lungs so they cant get oxygen to their body effecently the higher O2 content ment that larger insects could exist without suffocating.
>>
>>29532114
That's some Lovecraftian nightmare right there.
>>
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>>29532083

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOQkBEnw0Ag
>>
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Dinosaurs.

Cute.

Be a shame if something cerebral bore'd them.
>>
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>>29532004
>>29532006
>>29532038
>>29532083
I do not have a picture to accurately depict my level of NOPE.
>>
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>>29532154
Keeping with the theme, how about this?
>>
>>29532114
That is one swag-ass protein right there.
>>
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>>29532154
>>
>>29532140
>>29532172
It is from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKW4F0Nu-UY

Cells are really fascinating.
>>
>>29532140
And just think, there are countless of these things inside of you... right now.
>>
I like where this thread went.
>>
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>>29532245
>>
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>>29532038
>>
If we're going for horror now, let's not forget the ever terrifying candiru asu.

http://animal.discovery.com/tv-shows/river-monsters/videos/fish-swims-up-urine-stream.htm
>>
>>29532270
Least appetizing catfish ever.
>>
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HOW MANY OF YOU REMEMBER JURASSIC FIGHT CLUB?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLZud7KOCno
>>
>>29523893
wtf they can get that big?

crustaceans are terrifying man. lovecraftian horrors made real
>>
>>29532222
a whole ecosystem inside my body, and they don't even know I exist...
>>
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>>29532300
In not SovietAmazon, catfish eat *you*!
>>
>>29532354
I love crustaceans.
>>
>>29532340
I remember it was full of bullshit that they tried to sell as fact, I'm fine with bullshit on dinos, just don't treat it like fact is all
>>
>>29532391
That's incredibly common in TV, with >>29531867 being one of the most recent poster boys.
>>
>>29532354
I genuinly want a pet crab. I bet they would great fun. Brown crabs can live up to 3 days out of water, so if I give him a tank of salt water to sleep in, and some mussels to eat every couple of days, I can play crab tag all day!

Then one day I get too confident and crab buddy gets one of his pincers on my finger, applying enough force to crush concrete.
>>
>>29532368
Maybe they worship you as God. Think about it, you are their entire universe!

Ooh, maybe their colonizing other cells, or fighting religious wars over your nature! Diseases are basically alien invasions.
>>
>>29532419
I liked Dinosaur Revolution for being very tame in that reguard
>>
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>>29532368
It is less that they don't know that you exist and more of that they don't have the capacity for thought.
>>
>>29532420
I want a pet lobster, so I can walk my pet lobster.
>>
>>29532004
OH SHIT!
i karate chopped a cocaroch in camp onece and three of those fucking things came out of it, i thought they were it's guts. so we grabbed a daddy longlegs that had a couple legs missing and put them on top of each other so that they woud fight.
>>
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This seems like the right place to ask. I'm trying to remember a series of books on prehistoric animals from my childhood and I'm hoping someone here may have read them too.

each of these books was hard cover, and inside there would be a couple of sections.
Each section basically told a 'day in the life of' story of the specific prehistoric animal, and they were usually accompanied by a seriously detailed beautiful paintings of the animal in an environment.
I remember one about a saber toothed cat, one about Tanystropheus which had a painting of it sitting on a rock with a stormy sea in the background etc.

I can't remember what the book series is called, all I remember is how unique a format it was for an educational book series. anyone here ever seen them?
>>
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>>29532389
Am I kawaii onii-chan?
>>
>>29532172
Kinesin is mah nigga
>>
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>>29532154
>>
>>29532451
It's weird everyone thinks of Pinchy, but my first thought was when Millhouse lost his glasses and pet a horseshoe crab after mistaking it for a dog
>>
>>29532451
Lobsters are mean motherfuckers.

Crabs take ages to close their claws, so you really don't have much chance of having your finger turned to dust, but lobsters can snap their claws shut in a faction of a second. While they can't apply quite as much force as a crab, lobster claws are sharp on the inside.

A crab will crush your finger into dust, a lobster will just cut it off.
>>
>>29532462
Well, I was about to go fap, but that just launched a figurative tactical nuke on my boner.
>>
>>29532462
is there an elemental plane of Wasps, in my next DnD game I want to be a Vespamancer
>>
>>29532480
and the crab squeaked back...
>>
>>29532488
So we get him some of those fly claw bands all the kid lobsters seem to be wearing these days.
>>
>>29532457
>Wallpaper sized closeup of a crab female

Is this crab porn?
>>
>>29532522
It is now.
>>
>>29532518
>Banding your lobster buddy

But then he can't hunt his own food, or help out in the kitchen.
>>
>>29532430
Some videos help visualize what goes on when a virus infects a cell. It is basically the result of an evolutionary arms race between the virus' ability to use the cell's mechanisms against it and the cell's defenses against them.
>>
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>>
>>29532006

Awwwwww.
>>
>>29532522
no it's called Pron
>>
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>>29532501
Go with hornets.
>>
>>29532217
A whole bunch of shit bouncing around randomly that just somehow managed to fit at the right moments.
>>
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>>29532529
>>29532522
Oh god, /tg/ is going to give us a new fetish.
>>
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>>29532575
Ghost crab MILF getting dirty
>>
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>>29532537
Dammit you're right. Hell, who even needs fingers? I mean, I'll have to give up playing the guitar, the only thing in life that makes me happy, but I'll have an attack lobster in return. If anything, it sounds like my fingers are holding me back. I should probably just cut them off now....brb.
>>
>>29532567
I sea what you did there.
>>
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Rolled 5

>>29532575
I hope so, rolling.
>>
>>29532631
Nope, not today.
>>
>>29532628
To shell with you. Puns aren't funny.
>>
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>>29532631
Helloooo sailor!
>>
Rolled 10

>>29532646
Yes today! I'll roll all day if it takes it. I want my god damn crustacean porn!
>>
>>29532568
I AM BECOME THE PAIN!
>>
>>29531618
The atmosphere was thicker, warmer, and wetter. And yes, richer in oxygen.

We had megafauna during the ice age, too. Short-faced bears and dire wolves and such.
>>
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>>29531394
>>
>>29531468
Damn, now I want to play HL2.

Goddamnit Gaben, when will you get off your ass and release HL3?
>>
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>>29532655
This one's a bit shy
>>
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>>29532655
Where do I even?
How the fuck? No, really, how the fuck?
>>
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>>29532729
Hey, just relax. You can call me Sandy. I'll take real good care of you.
>>
>>29532743
Do those legs go all the way up?
>>
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>>29532729
Here's a demonstration

You're the coconut
>>
>>29532685
Also, enormous Columbian Mammoths.

Frankly, the Wooly Mammoth is pretty damn overrated, considering how many ancient elephants and mammoths were much more impressive than it.
>>
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>>29532170
>>
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>>29532743
>>29532760
3lewd6me.
>>
>>29532718
I like em when they're cute and innocent.
>>
>>29532764
And American lions, and smilodon, and ground sloths, and the savage land-squirrel.

Why did we get left with all the gay animals?
>>
Some of these are just horrible. I can't even imagine what prehistoric parasites would be like. I don't even know if they left fossils.

Worst animated gif concerning parasites involves a vet squeezing some kind worm or larvae out of a dog. It was so fucking bad. Oh my god.
>>
>>29532857
We got Dire Wolves.

So that's something.
>>
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>>29532786
>>
>>29532864
now someones going to find it and post it you monster
>>
>>29532857
>and the savage land-squirrel
Please tell us more.
>>
>>29532488
Also, lobsters are practically immortal. They do not die of old age; they keep on living, and eating, and getting bigger. The fuckers also suffer no ill effects from old age, and get more aggressive and fertile the older they are.

iirc, there was a commotion a few years back about some restaurant making some promotion to cook a huge lobster that, turns out, was around 150 years old.
>>
>>29532685
Okay, so what changed? Where did all that extra O2 go? The climate changing I get, happens every so often with the Earth, but what caused the atmosphere to change?
>>
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>>29532916
>>
>>29532936
I want to get a lobster hatchling, and have it as a family treasure.

In 500 years, my family shall rule the wold atop our 50 foot tall lobster.
>>
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>>29532916
>>
>>29532956
NOT IF MY FAMILY'S 51 FOOT TALL LOBSTER BEATS YOU TO IT.
>>
>>29532988
WE'LL SETTLE THIS ON THE BATTLEFIELD

MY DESCENDENTS WILL DESTROY YOUR DESCENDENTS IN THE GREAT LOBSTER WAR OF 2594
>>
>>29532956
>>29532988
the birth of lobster-knights.

In the post apocalyptic wasteland those who has the largest lobster-steed is king.
>>
>>29532941
coal. when the forests died and got buried the oxygen that was in them got locked up underground.
>>
>>29532988
> Families/clans each having ancestral lobsters to their name.
> cities on giant lobsters
> city guard with horse-sized lobsters

Well, as a DM, I know what my players will be facing someday.
>>
>>29533010
>>29533012
Now I'm gonna go glue an ultramarine to the top of a lobster, and show up to my next game claiming this is the future of combat.
>>
>>29532936

I feel like a lobster that old should be used as breeding stock more than anything else.
>>
>>29533061
new IG rough rider model confirmed
>>
>>29533061
In the grim-darkness of warhammer 40k there are only lobster-marines

okay, if lobster minis would exist I could make a fucking lobster-marine army
>>
>>29532941
High oxygen levels means fires are bigger, hotter, stronger, and spread more quickly.
The oxygen level was so high because of the amount of plant matter pumping oxygen into the air.
Do the math.
>>
>>29533061
Put a whole squad on it and make it a counts-as Land Raider
>>
Holy shit. This entire fucking thread is fantastic.
>>
>>29533085
http://www.tapirback.com/tapirgal/gifts/friends/aquatic.htm

http://www.cheekytiki.com/novelty.htm

> search: little plastic lobster
>>
>>29533076
It wasn't cooked, some eco-activists managed to take him to a nature preserve. The bastard will probably manage to outlive the activists' children.
>>
>>29533098
>It just fucking crawls around out of turn
>knocks over models
>generally doesn't give a shit
>other player gets mad
>reaches to move it
>loses three fingers.
>>
>>29533045
city priest-warriors tasked with slaying giant parasite beasts off the lobster to earn its favor.
>>
>>29531942
Aww, look how they love each other. Sweet romance.
>>
>>29533120
fucking AWESOME
>>
Why aren't there any drawfags all over this shit?
>>
>>29533133

Machines Spirits, bitch. Can't hold them down.
>>
>>29533110
Vote for archive?
>>
>>29533131

Cool, perhaps in time it will be worshipped by the more primitive lobsters, until there is an entire lobster culture based around the Great Lobster, who came to the land in smoke and thunder.
>>
>>29533167
You've got my vote.
>>
>>29533171
> This is how Tyranids got started.
>>
>>29533167
Same.
>>
>>29533167
aye, I too vote for it
>>
>>29533167
>>29533178
>>29533217
>>29533238
and my axe!
>>
>>29533167
im new to /tg/ where is the archive?
>>
>>29532931
Well, they could probably run you over, instead of vice versa.
>>
>>29533267
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html
>>
>>29525983
>Dire Hallucigenia.
I'm glad that nature drew a blank on water to land animals. I thought mine looked retarded in spore.
>>
>>29532956
This is going in my next campaign.

Lobster Knights, preferably with Chitin armor like the Falmer.
>>
>>29532941
Biosphere changes. Mass extinctions. Normal atmospheric loss and loss by solar stripping.

The moon was much closer then, too. Tides would've been terrific.
>>
>>29533196
>Many, many years ago, there was a seafood restaurant
>It wasn't big, or particularly fancy, nor had notably good food
>It was a restaurant like many others, its purpose to create material wealth for its owners
>Like many other restaurants of the sort, it also had a lobster tank, so they could claim their product was always fresh (even though all their food was pre-bought; the lobsters just went into a tank in the back, and were relocated to the hall tank when the dorrs closed)
>One dark night, annoying eco-activists entered the place, and were overtaken by dread when they saw the caged lobsters
>In a fit of rage, they took the tank away, and emptied it on the the ocean, inside a nature preserve
>And, there, they spent decades, centuries, millennia, growing, growing, feeding on toxic waste and malice, until they grew enough in intelligence and power to become what we today call Tyranids
>And that, young guardsman, is why the Emperor hates hippies
>>
>>29533267
1.) In your browser, click File - Save As and save the page as a "complete webpage" (to include the necessary CSS and thumbnails).

2.) Use DownThemAll! to save all of the full images from the thread. Place them in the folder created by your HTML save, usually something like 123456_files.

3.) Open Notepad or another editor and go to the Replace function. Replace http://zip.4chan.org/tg/res/(thread number).html# with # and replace http://zip.4chan.org/tg/src/ with 123456_files/. In-thread links and links to the larger files will now work.
>>
>>29533167
OP here, thank you so much for this. I don't have a gif to express how I feel, but know I'm fucking ecstatic.

This is my first time getting archived, so forgive me
>>
>>29533120
I have that green crab somewhere!
>>
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/29522774/
>>
>>29532456

OH FUCK I REMEMBER THOSE TOO

Goddamnit anon, now I'm going to be stuck here trying to remember the name of the series.
>>
>>29533368
Come on guys, vote for the thread.

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html
>>
>>29533432
TELL ME YOUR SECRETS
>>
>>29532857
because they were too hard core for us to want to bother with, so all our ancestors basically said, "Let's go kill all the cool predators"
>>
is there a new thread?
>>
>>29533725
I don't think so, it just kind of died after being archived. Seems kind of anticlimactic.
>>
>>29533725
This might count since it was inspired by this thread

>>29533591
>>
>>29533831
It was already past the bump limit when archival was proposed, though.
>>
File: 1389816592300.jpg-(69 KB, 540x520, RUT444C.jpg)
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Hoplolichas tricuspidatus Spectacularly Spinose Lichid Russian trilobite
>>
File: 1389817035693.png-(261 KB, 650x575, Radscorpion.png)
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>>29531874
So you're saying they're radscorpions?
>>
>>29533333
well shit, im used to /mu/ were everything gets archived automatically. thanks though
>>
File: 1389818451946.jpg-(62 KB, 500x298, I cant beleaf what Im seeing.jpg)
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>>29531825
Flippin real life mothra all up in here.
>>
>>29532368
Technically you do, well your body at least.

They are as much part of your mind as you are, Yes anon, you are the multi-creature hivemind being. You are a walking hive of beings.
>>
File: 1389818658246.jpg-(76 KB, 680x375, clash_of_the_titans_13.jpg)
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>>29534177
Am I the only one that thinks riding a giantscorpion would be risky buisness? Or at the very least ineffective. Cause you'd have the giant stinger hovering around your head at all times, so if it doesnt somehow sting you by accident it wont be able to jab things with you in the way.
>>
File: 1389818783518.jpg-(72 KB, 800x387, glyptodon_skeleton_cast.jpg)
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No glyptodons up in here? C'mon siege-skellies.
>>
This thread needs more woolly Rhinos.
>>
>>29532038
Christ, what is that?


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