>>29811326
>Ask for a ride
Might as well roll with it

>>29811326
>> Ask for a ride

"Sup"

>>29811326
>> Ask for a ride
>> Ask for directions

>>29811326
>Ask for a ride.

>>29811326
Wat.

Fuck it,
> Ask for a ride

>>29811326
>Ask for a ride
Do nothing else. Act as though this situation is perfectly normal.

Oh shi-- this some Alice in Wonderland shit!

The goal of this thread is to overcome our nervousness and insecurities regarding TANKS.

>>29811429
It's the ghost of Lafayette Tankery commanders past come to teach us how to not suck as much.

>>29811429
Dammit, I was hoping to rake up some CP.

>>29811326
> Ask for directions
Which way to Berlin?

> Ask for a ride

You walk up to the slowly moving car. The only occupant is its only operator, an old black man. His outfit recalls that of a grizzled railroad engineer. The man bears a white beard, wrinkles upon his face, and his railroad worker cap shades his milky white eyes.

You raise your hand. “Hey, old timer. Mind if I ride with you?”

“Join me, my child,” he says in a whiny, raspy voice. “Join me.”

You hop onto the car and sit down at the edge, looking around. Almost nothing for miles.

You look up at the old man, who simply stares straight ahead as if not acknowledging your presence.

> “Who are you?”
> “Where you headed?”
> “Where is this?”
> Other

>>29811500
>> “Where you headed?”

>>29811500
>“Where is this?”
Curiosity ho!

>>29811500
All are good questions. Why choose just one?

>>29811500
>> “Who are you?”
>> “Where you headed?”

>>29811500
> “Where you headed?”

>>29811500
>> “Where you headed?”

>>29811500
> “Where you headed?”

>>29811500
> "Where you headed?"
> Other
Ask him if you can pull on the lever that makes the train go "Choo Choo!"

>>29811500
>> “Where you headed?”

>>29811326
>>29811500
This is some serious O Brother Where Art Thou shit, isn't it?

>>29811617
"Muh hair!"

>>29811617
"DEW... NUT... SEEK... THUH... TRESHUR!"

> “Where you headed?”

“Where you headed, old timer?”

The old man shakes his head. “I’m headed, nowhere.”

You blink, confused. Well he has to be heading somewhere. He’s on a railroad. Railroads are designed to go somewhere someone wants you want to go. That’s logic. “Well, surely there’s some place up ahead?”

The old man hums. “Hmhm… perhaps there is.”

You ask him. “Well, do you work for the Railroad?”

“I work, for no man,” he says.

You blink again. “Do you have a name?” Surely-

“I have, no name.”

… Who the fuck is this?

You sigh. “Okay, that’s your problem then,” you can’t deal with this. “See, in the market of gainful employment, people need to have names-“

“You!” You stop. He continues, “You carry the weight of worlds on your shoulders. You, the woman born of an Ace. They sing in you, granting you the power to command and lead, and you shall do so…”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaPGYhtz194

You squint, continuing to listen. You’re enraptured by this.

“If you wish to lift this burden, you must fight the most worthy opponents. Yeah, you shall most worthy opponents on the field of battle, the wise, the strong, the determined. Fear not for yourself, but fear for those you lead. For a leader is nothing without anybody to lead.

“But yeah, do not worry yeself with the obstacles or the foes you face. The road may wind, stop, turn, and weave, still shall you find your way. All the way to your salvation.”

You look forward to see something just up ahead. What could that be? Looks like a nice little house.

> Drop off at the house
> Stay on the cart
> Other

>>29811784
> Drop off at the house

>>29811784
> Drop off at the house
We can't just ignore it.

>>29811784
>Drop off at the house
Shit's getting way too heavy for me
Unless this is a metaphor for giving up and taking the easy path and there's going to be an ideal version of Kitten as our wife in that cabin. In that case stay on the train.

>>29811784
>Drop off at the house
>Other
Ask if we'll be seeing him again.

>>29811784
> Stay on the cart

>>29811784
stay on the cart

>>29811784
>House
His journey's not ours, and our subconscious wouldn't spawn the house for no reason.

>>29811784
> Drop off at the house

>>29811784
>> Stay on the cart
we aint getting off yet

>>29811784
>Drop off at the house

> Drop off at the house

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RIn-ov1yJM

You hear music. You step off the cart just in front of the house, then say goodbye to the old man as he squeaks away on the railcart. You walk the dirt road up to the front porch, and hear the sound of fiddles, guitars, mandolins, an accordion or two.

You open the door and the music blasts you like a refreshing breeze. Inside, you see a circle of 9 girls, all of varying appearances, but having the same consistent red hair. They play instruments of all kinds, laughing and smiling, except for the one plucking the Double Bass who looks positively moody.

The one playing the guitar motions you over to a seat, and you sit down.

> Sing along
> Sit quietly
> Ask a Question (Specify)
> Other

>>29811784

> Stay on the cart
we've got much to learn still

>>29812065
>> Sing along

>>29812065
> Sing along

>>29812065
>Will the Circle be Unbroken
Schteel, that's some heavy shit, considering our family.

>>29812065
> Sing along

>>29812144
Think he doesn't know that?

>>29812065
> Sing along

>>29812316
I just think it's something that can't be interperted in a non-dark way.

> Sing along

I was born down, in the valley,
Where the sun refuse to shine,
But I’m climbing, up to the highlands,
Gonna make them mountains mine,

Will the Circle be unbroken,
By and by, lord, by and by,
There’s a better home awaiting
In the sky, lord, in the sky!

Everyone but the Bass player laughs a bit. It’s all fun in games in this warmly lit house. You look around at everyone. All of them look unique save for their red hair.

The guitar girl offers her hand. “My name’s Joyce.” She motions to all the girls. “We are the Muses!”

You nod. “Gertrude Pool.” Wait. Muses? “Muses? What do you-“

One of them, a bespectacled fiddler sharing a scarf with another bespectacled fiddler, says “That’s right, the Muses! My name is Sunny, this-“ She motions to the other fiddler, “-is my good sister, Selena.”

Joyce nods, smiling. “Right, the girl on the bass is Mel. Girls on the Dobro and the accordion are Terry and Talia respectively. The others are Polly, Eri, and Erin.”

You nod. “Okay…” Where the fuck did you learn about the 9 Muses of Greece and why is it somehow invading your subconscious?

Joyce smiles. “Feel free to ask anyone of us a question!”

> Ask a Question (Specify)
>> Joyce, Muse of Epic Poetry
>> Sunny and Selena, Muses of History and Astronomy
>> Terry, Muse of Dance
>> Talia, Muse of Comedy
>> Mel, Muse of Tragedy
>> Polly, Muse of Hymns
>> Eri, Muse of Lyric Poetry
>> Erin, Muse of Song
>> All of them
> Explore the House
> Leave
> Other

>>29812387
>> Erin, Muse of Song
Kitty's singing is great, right?

>>29812387
>Mel, Muse of Tragedy
Why the long face?

>>29812387
Any tip to help a stuggling Freshman bluegrass band hit it big?

We concern for our team

>>29812387
>All of them
"What is best in life?"

>>29812387
>> Mel, Muse of Tragedy

>>29812387
>>29812440
Inspiration will hit us?

>>29812387
>Ask Talia, Muse of Comedy, "How would you improve upon a satirical rewrite of a once-serious military drama?"
>Ask Eri and Erin, "Do you believe the Freshman group have what it takes to be a great bluegrass band?"

>>29812442
>>29812565

both of these

>>29812387
>>29812565
This these are good questions

>>29812565
Going with this.

And one more thing.
>Mel, Muse of Tragedy
>"Will the Aces ever meet with Ekins agains without lingering bitterness getting in the way?"

> Ask a Question
>> Mel, Muse of Tragedy

You ask, Mel, “You look so sad. What’s wrong?”

Mel says, “A lot of things have happened in my life and I am lacking in the fortitude to try and make myself that much happier.”

Joyce nods, humming a little. “Yerra, yerra. You see, Mel’s sad because of stuff that’s happened as a child.”

You ask, “What kind of stuff.”

Polly sighs sadly. “Nobody knows. But she’s always so sad. Even my own little songs do not reach out to her, you know?”

Mel groans. “The only thing that would make me happier than me dying is if everyone else died before me. I hate everything.”

Talia laughs. “Oh, Mel! You’re such a card. It’s not like the world’s out to get you! You should lighten the hell up!”

“How about you get stuffed you parrot.”

>> Ask Talia, Muse of Comedy

“Say, Talia, I was doing a play about Red Dawn you know?”

Talia giggles. “Oh dear, that’s just the dickens, isn’t it! Hehehe, well, I tell you. The only way to make something funny is if you say it in a funny manner. You can make anything sound funny if you say it correctly.”

You quirk your brow. “Really?”

“Penis.”

You chortle, covering your mouth. Oh god, she’s right.

>> Ask Eri and Erin, Muses of Lyric Poetry and Song

“Eri, Erin, my Freshmen girls-“

Eri says, “Hey, say no more. They will have the confidence to become whoever they’d like to be. They just need to be shown it.”

You nod. “Ah, I see.”

There’s a loud thud outside, shaking everything in the house. Everyone except you looks unfazed.

> “What the fuck was that?”
> Investigate
> Other

>>29812718
Investigate.

>>29812718
>> Investigate

>>29812718
>Investigate
No need to panic, this is definitely a dream.

>>29812718
>> Investigate

>29812718
>> Investigate

>>29812718
> Investigate
Even in dreams Perrine? Really?

>>29812718
> Investigate

>>29812718
jump around and do the chicken dance I mean this a dream after all

> Investigate

You stand up and walk over to the window as more thuds shake the house.

“… is it raining TANKS?”

Joyce nods. “Yeah, does that occasionally.”

“DON’T BE LIKE THAT!” You motion to the window, incredulous. “IT’S FUCKING RAINING TANKS!”

Polly says, “Language.”

You slap your forehead. “Ah! Sorry- but- IT’S LITERALLY-“

Outside the window, tanks of all kinds of sizes, calibers, factions, and types rain and embed themselves into the surrounding countryside.

Suddenly, the back of the room explodes. Unlike the Muses who sit there like nothing’s wrong, you get thrown on your back and cover your eyes from the bright flash of light. What is going on?

A huge hulking humanoid clad in a brilliantly gleaming suit of armor walks up to you. Behind him stands a bone-white Panzer IV ausf. H. It offers your hand to you, but then speaks to you in feminine tones.

“Come with me if you want to live.”

> Go with her
> “yeah nah fuck you”
> Other

>>29812944
>Go with her
>Other: cosplay as just-appeared-out-of-time-warp Terminator by stripping naked

>>29812944
> Go with her

>>29812944
Let's see where the train ride goes!

>>29812944
Pause to reflect on what the fuck you ate last night.

File: 1390790530587.gif-(76 KB, 379x365, 1356050724605.gif)

76 KB GIF

>>29812944

> Go with her

This is some serious surreal shit we've gotten ourselves in to. All that's needed for this Coen Brothers-styled bender is some yodeling.

Also, is Gertrude Bona-fide?

>>29812944

>Go with her

>>29812944
>> Go with her

>>29811617

When do we stumble on a Klan meeting?

>>29812944
> Go with her

Note to self: NEVER have Trudy drink alcohol again.

Rolled 71

>>29812718
> Other
Totally ignore it talk to balance of muses

> Go with her

You say goodbye to the Muses then hop into the surprisingly roomy Panzer IV. It drives off into the horizon, the occasional thud signaling that a tank landing on it and bouncing off. This is one well made Panzer IV.

You sit in the radio operator’s seat, then look over at your suit of armor. “Uh… who are you?” you ask.

She says, “I am Princess Carolina Smithsonian of the Kingdom of Kingstown! I am here to rescue you from-“

“Wait.” You lean over. “… Kitten?”

She flips up her visor, revealing that is in fact, Kitten. “Trudy! NOT NOW!” she whispers. “I’m trying to be a hero! Don’t ruin this for me!”

… You nod. “Okay.”

Kitten flips her visor down then continues driving the Panzer IV. “NOW! I am driving you to the nearest town where you will be safe from this rain of Panzers-“ You’re suddenly rocked in your seat as Kitten stops the tank.

“What?” you ask. “What happen?” You open up the hatch, stupid idea considering it’s raining tanks but still you need to see.

“AHAHAHA! TANKS! TANKS EVERYWHERE!” Perrine Hobart is in the field, frolicking about like a madwoman. She looks over to you. “WELL! IF IT AIN’T GERTRUDE POOL AND HER GIRLFRIEND!” She snarls, grinning like a Cheshire cat. “I’M GOING TO RIP YOUR GUTS OUT AND STICK THEM IN SOMEONE ELSE’S BODY!”

ohshit

Kitten looks over at you. “Get on the gun!”

… okay which gun

> Hull Machine Gun
> Coaxial Gun
> Ringmounted Cupola Gun
> Main Gun
> fuck that run away
> Other

>>29813196
>Other
Perrine! Hugs!

>>29813196
>> Main Gun

>>29813196
>> Main Gun
the only gun that matters

>raining tanks
>30 to 200 ton objects hitting the ground at terminal velocity
Bit of a hostile weather in Wonderland, eh?

>>29813196
"Perrine! Get in! We're going Tanking!"

>>29813196
>Hug Perrine

Rolled 32

>>29813196
> Ringmounted Cupola Gun

>>29813196

>Main Gun

>>29813196
> Get out and hug her

>>29813196
>Hug time
Oh that wacky girl.

>>29813196
>Coaxial Gun
Main Gun is fine and all, if someone loads it. Alas.

>>29813258
>>29813251
>>29813234
>>29813217
>>29813282
Guys! She's going to RIP OUT OUR GUTS AND STICK THEM IN SOMEONE ELSE'S BODY! I've never taken Perrine for being dishonest or a liar.

>>29813196
> Main Gun

>>29813298
She's our friend, she'd never do that!

>>29813196
>Hugs

>>29813196
> Coaxial Gun
I recall Trudy being somewhat a bad shot. But at least we can switch to Main or Cupola easily enough.

I hope we don't end up NTRing Kitten

Rolled 86

>>29813298
Coupula lets us assess from a less impersonal vantage point. just sayin'

>>29813338
Well, it's a good thing she's not our girlfirend then.

>>29813196

> Coaxial Gun

Dayum are we trippin on acid?

also what happened to that other gup quest that was based on this one but on a canuck ship?

>>29813385
>text in spoilers
There's a good question.

> Hugs

You hop out of the hatch. “Perrine!” You run over.

Kitten turns out of the driver’s hatch. “Trudy! What the fuck are you doing!?”

You hug Perrine. “Perrine! Good to see you!”

Perrine takes in a bearhug.

A very MEAN BEARHUG OH GOD YOUR LUNGS YOUR LUNGS ARE COLLAPSING YOUR RIBS

Perrine laughs. “WHOO! WE’RE GOING TO HAVE SOME FUN YOU AND I!” She slowly your licks your cheek oh no that’s just nasty

“Hey!” Kitten hops out of the tank, now brandishing a sword. “Let her go!” Perrine tosses you aside onto the ground. Oh god that hurt that really hurt

Perrine giggles. “Fufufufu… if it isn’t the little cat!” She points at Kitten, still grinning like a madwoman. “Time to show you what I’m made of!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gDch1p4c_M

Perrine rise into the air and is suddenly engulfed a great green glow. Two stars burst out from her clothes, stripping her down to her blouse and her panties. The stars float around her sides, then spin until they crush Perrine. The stars then turn horizontally and reveal-

Your jaw drops. “Holy shit.”

Perrine bursts out from the great glow and poses.

> WITCH REGALIA: M18 HELLCAT <

Kitten slides over in front of you. “You get the hell out of here, Trudy! She’s too powerful for you or me!”

> Hell no, I’m fighting
> Hell yeah, see you Kitten
> Other

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting
Trudy Stronk

>>29813385
I wish he'd come back. I think he got frustrated with some anons telling him he gets too easily flustered. Something like that, it's just rumour.
I liked that his quest was LGA but without the shoulder-crushing pressure surrounding our success/failure

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting

We never give in!

>>29813459
If Perrine got stronger when she stripped down to her underwear, we'll surely be able to defeat her if we're naked!

File: 1390791924245.jpg-(5.03 MB, 3504x2336, 1359338882109.jpg)

5.03 MB JPG

>>29813459

Well, shit. Perrine's a Tank Witch.

> Hell no, I’m fighting

This is our fight, too!

>>29813385

I talked to Iron. He hasn't had time/internet.

>>29813529
>Witch.

Oh please.

>>29813459
>> Other
"No! I won't leave you! *passionate kiss* *tears* *the works*" then wake up for the shock.

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting

Rolled 1

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting
Take this armour in close assault, nerves of schteel! Sub-conscious manifests some gammon bombs for us.

>>29813516

Nah. He's an IRL friend of mine (weird how that worked). He had a few IRL things that he had to take care of and then his internet got cut.

>>29813588
Dice gods disapprove of your pun!

>>29813615
Glad to hear he's alright. I'd have assumed the worst.

Hope he comes back soon.

>>29813588
>nat 1
>on a d100

Welp, good thing this is a diceless quest.

>>29813459
> Hell no, I’m fighting
WE DONT LEAVE KITTY BEHIND

File: 1390792280275.jpg-(427 KB, 1920x1080, Bring it.jpg)

427 KB JPG

>>29813545
Where's me image.

Time for Magical Regalia, M4A3E8 Sherman.

>>29813635

Says he should be back in a week

> Hell no, I’m fighting

You stand up, getting into an aggressive fighting posture. “No way, jose. I’m with you to the end, Kitten.”

Kitten looks at you, surprised. “Trudy.”

Perrine laughs. “I wouldn’t expect less!” She stomps on the ground, brandishing her 76mm main gun on one arm and a .50 Caliber gun on the other arm. Like the actual Hellcat, Armor is spread around her arms and legs, but the rest is… open topped.

Kitten pulls a huge ass sword out from the back of his suit of armor. She hands you a more regular sized sword and shield as well.

Perrine charges, screaming. She fires the 76mm at you. The round travels at subsonic speeds, just quick enough to act.

> Dodge
> Block
> Slash
> Other

Rolled 26

>>29813623
>>29813643
There are games, like Axis and Allies, and many other more traditional war games where 1 is critical success and 6 was epic failure.

>>29813701
> Dodge

>>29813701
>Kitten pulls a huge ass sword out from the back of his suit of armor.
Kitten's secret has been revealed
>Slash the round

>>29813701
>Block
Auto-parry that round with your gut

>>29813701
> Dodge

Rolled 64

>>29813701
>Other

Matrix Style hand block to stop the bullets in the air and let them drop to the earth in front of us.

>>29813676
More like Sen-i-Soushitsu (FIBER LOST) time

>>29813701

>Dodge

>>29813701
SLASH THE ROUND IN HALF!

>>29813701
>> Other
Catch it
Dodgeball bitches

>>29813676
>Dodge
You can't slash a tank round without powers!

>>29813676
I'm not the only one that saw the similarities then

>>29813701
> Matrix dodge

> Dodge

You jump out of the way, and the round flies past you and at Kitten. You have the time to shout, “Kitten!”

Kitten proceeds to yell and slash the round in half with her fuckhuge sword. Good Christ, you need to get yourself one of those.

Perrine grits her teeth, her smile fading just a bit. She draws the .50 and begins filling the air with lead. You bring your shield up and listen to all the rounds bounce, fly, and break like water on rock. Kitten meanwhile simply holds her arm up over her face.

“Wow,” you say. “This is easier than I thought it’d be.”

Kitten looks at you. “Don’t count your luck! She’s still dangerous!”

> Go on the Offensive
> Go on the Defensive
> Run Away
> Other

>>29813888
>> Go on the Offensive

>>29813888
> Go on the Offensive
NO HUGS THIS TIME, PERRINE

>>29813888
>Go on the Offensive
>Yell "Perrine this is why nobody likes you"

>>29813888
>> Go on the Offensive
BE AGGRESSIVE

>>29813888

>Go on the offensive

Hug my sword Bitch!

>>29813888
> Go on the Offensive
KITTEN DISTRACT HER WHILE WE HUGSTAB HER WHILE SHE'S DISTRACTED

>>29813888
>Go on the Offensive
So... how many drugs did Trudy take before bed?

Rolled 62

>>29813888
>> Go on the Offensive
A Hug Offensive to be precise. Kill her with our Kindness.

>>29813996
Kitten's panicking in bed while Trudy foams at the mouth

>>29814012
Wine is ahelluva drink

This is the most surreal dream ever.

All we need now is Morgan Freeman to complete the set.

>>29814060

>inb4 the railcar guy was suppose to be morgan freeman

oh

snap

> Go on the Offensive

You charge, screaming like a warrior poet made manifest. Perrine charges as well, bringing her right hand bearing the .50s up to crush you. She slams down only to meet your shield.

“IMPOSSIBLE!” shouts Perrine.

You throw her arm off and then jump. “TAKE THIS!” You give her a thousand slashes at her exposed top, knocking her back with each blow. She recoils back as you land.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTHOpQ2_wMM

“Trudy!” Kitten runs, dragging Fuckhuge McBigSlash the Sword on the ground.

Now you’re getting somewhere. You duck then hold your shield on top of you. Kitten jumps onto your shield, then you immediately spring her up like a… well a springboard.

Kitten brings her sword over her head. “YOU’RE FINISHED, PERRINE!”

Perrine looks up, fear in her eyes. “N-No!”

SLASH

Perrine is thrust into the air, hovering for a moment. Then her armor breaks, rendering her completely nude.

>> PERRINE HOBART <<
>> STRIPPED OF THE WILL TO FIGHT <<

She lands, completely naked to the breeze. The tanks have stopped raining.

Kitten sighs, sheathing her sword. “Well.” She looks down at Perrine, who’s completely vulnerable and unconscious. “Trudy, next town’s a short distance away. Shall we go?”

> Let’s go
> Ask Kitten a Question (Specify)
> Other

>>29813888
> Go on the Offensive

>>29814166
> Let’s go
Oh fuck, did we take the brown acid?

>>29813930
B - E - AGGRESSIVE!

>>29814166
>Ask Kitten a Question
Who looks better naked, Perrine or me?

>>29814166
> Let’s go
IS THERE MORE? I WANT MORE!

Rolled 70

>>29814166
> Other
Only if we take helpless Perrine with us. We're responsible for her now.

>>29814166

> Hug Perrine

Ere We Go

>>29814166
I like this >>29814251

>>29814251
It's not like we knocked her up.

Rolled 14

>>29814235
If it's our subconscious this would only tells us what we thought, not an objective truth.

>>29814166
>> Let’s go
Adventure calls
Will we answer it?
yes

>Let's Go
>Take Perrine with us

Add New Party Member?
capcha: addition ummieh

Rolled 66

>>29814287
No, but we knocked her down.

>>29814287
Nope, we knocked her OUT.

>>29814320
>>29814326
*ba dum tss

>>29814166
Let's go

>>29814166
> Let’s go
man, i want this weird trip over so we get to fight tanks for real.

>>29814166
>> Let’s go
Take Perrine, new ally!

>>29814166
>> Ask Kitten a Question (Specify)
You dreaming what I'm dreaming? *sly grin*

>>29814429
This

>>29814429
>Kitten I had a dream we fought Perrine
>>Sweet
>and then had sex with her unconscious body

Rolled 80

>>29814166
How the defeated are treated is was separates the good guys from the bad guys. It's also how you prevent future wars and make new allies.

> Let’s go
> Other

“Wait,” you look down at Perrine, looking incredibly sorry for her. “Let’s take her with us.”

Kitten looks at you funny. “Really? She just tried to kill us.”

You bend down and carry Perrine in your arms. “Just into the next town. It’s not nice to just leave people for dead.” The both of you walk back to the white Panzer IV.

Perrine sits in the Commander’s chair while and you Kitten sit upfront in the Radio Op and the Driver’s respectively. The rest of the ride is pretty quiet then. Though, occasionally you can hear Perrine whisper a couple of things.

“… I just want to have fun…” Perrine mutters. “… I just want to have friends…”

Kitten opens the driver’s hatch, and you open yours. You arrive at the wild west looking town of Fayettesville.

Kitten stops the Panzer IV in front of what looks to be a Saloon. “Right, get yourself some drinks or something. I’ll take Perrine to the Doctor.”

> Go with Kitten
> Go into the Saloon
> Stay with the Panzer IV
> Other

>>29814493
>> Go into the Saloon
Who we gonna meet?

>>29814493
>Give Kitten a goodbye kiss
>Go into the Saloon
What could go wrong? We have an excellent record on alcohol.

>>29814493
> Go into the Saloon

File: 1390794321290.jpg-(30 KB, 636x342, You are a pirate.jpg)

30 KB JPG

>>29814493
>> Go into the Saloon
I bet there's Vet in there

Rolled 26

>>29814493
>> Go with Kitten
Unless Kitten is a better medic than us we have a duty of care to remain until superior care is presented. A paramedic would do. With luck it's just light and she'll come around soon and we want to be their so she sees we do care.

>>29814493

> Go with Kitten

PERRINE! I'll be you friend!

....as long as you stop stalking us.

>>29814493
> Go with Kitten
Dream version of our dentist who is a doctor here?

>>29814493
>> Go with Kitten

Let's make sure Perrine's okay first before we go and get some drinks

>>29814493
> Go into the Saloon

>>29814166
>Fuckhuge McBigSlash the Sword
I'm so calling any huge sword that.

> Go into the Saloon

“Are you sure?” you ask. “I can go with you.”

Kitten says, “It’s fine. I’ll meet you inside the Saloon in a bit. Hopefully I can get this armor off.”

… oh yeah you’d actually like to see that.

You nod then you both part ways. You go through those weirdass flappy doors most wild west saloons have. All the patrons immediately look at you, even a huge spotlight is shined down upon you from the ceiling.

The patrons are mostly just girls however, clad in Lafayette Girls Academy uniforms. Most of them look sad, tired, angry, or otherwise just depressed. You shyly walk up to the bar. “Uh… can I have some water?” you ask the bartender.

The bartender, an old man in bartender garb presents you a glass of water. You drink it eagerly. Tastes refreshing.

Suddenly, the flappy doors (seriously you need to figure out what those are called) fly open again. You look back and see a girl in the LGA uniform, but with a black armband- wait

It’s Pinkerton. “Right, who’s tank is that outside?”

> Say nothing and hope she leaves
> “It might be mine.”
> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”
> Other

>>29814797
>> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”
WHY NOT

Rolled 98

>>29814493
If we're waiting for a tie-break, obviously we go to the doctor with the party

>>29814797
>> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”
Slap the shit out of her if she gets uppity

>>29814797
>> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”
We've wanted to say this for so long...

>>29814797
>IT'S MINE YOU FECKING NAZI

>>29814797
>> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”

>>29814797
> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeyitch”
Fuck you, bitch nigga

Rolled 39

>>29814797
>>29814797
>> Other
Who cares to know and why? Sit with me and I'll buy you a round and we can talk it over.

>>29814883
Then dump your drink on her face and shove the glass up her ass

Rolled 74

>>29814950
I think it sounds more lyrical if you phrase it as "... Shove the glass in her ass"

Let's keep this in reserve is Dream Pinkerton is a completely unreasonable bitch and doesn't catch that it was left there temporarily after a life or death rescue and emergency evan of combat casualties.

> “It’s mine, that’s who, fuck you beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-“

You stand from your stool and walk up to Pinkerton. “That’s mine. You have a problem with it, bitch??”

Pinkerton nods, squinting her eyes at you. “I do. Tanks are banned in this here town.” You gasp. No way. They can’t just outlaw tanks. Pinkerton motions you outside the Saloon. “Come with me.”

The both of you walk outside, to where a sizable crowd of students have gathered. A hall monitor hands Pinkerton a Henry Rifle and you stand at the porch as Pinkerton keeps walking.

“Alright, you’re obviously new here so I’m going to give it to you straight,” says Pinkerton. “Owning a tank here in this town, according to our Mayor Fredendall, is punishable-“ She aims at you, “-by death.”

BANG

Kitten absorbs the shot with her armor. “Not so fast, Pinkerton. She’s new here. I’m taking her with me.”

Pinkerton scoffs. “That so?” You hear a large orchestra of cocking guns as Hall Monitors begin arming themselves with revolvers and rifles.

> “There’s no need to fight.”
> “Yeah, that’s so.”
> Punch Pinkerton
> Other

>>29815038
>> Punch Pinkerton
KNOCK HER THE FUCK OUT

File: 1390795508474.jpg-(1.34 MB, 760x3046, siamese_dream_by_VanHeist.jpg)

1.34 MB JPG

I can see something similar to this being the end state.

>>29815038
> Punch Pinkerton
Fuck Pinkerton and the rest of her crooked-ass Hall Monitors.

Rolled 15

>>29815038
>> Other
We've already demonstrated our bullet dodging skllz in this dream, so we focus our chi and get ready for some really flashy dodging.

>>29815038
>Yeah, that's so.
I don't want to step on Kitten's toes

File: 1390795577994.gif-(2.53 MB, 500x260, oh yeah (2).gif)

2.53 MB GIF

>>29815038
>> Punch Pinkerton

>>29815038
> Punch Pinkerton

>>29815038
Uppercut Pinkerton into the ceiling.

>>29815038
>“There’s no need to fight.”
Tank too far. Not liking the odds.

>>29815038
>Lets go see this Mayor and I'll give her my opinion on her laws.

You guys are trying to get DreamTrudy killed! DreamKitten will be devastated! Don't break Kitten's heart ;_;

>>29815038
>“Yeah, that’s so.”
"I have the tank. That makes ME the Law"

>>29815038
>Punch Pinkerton
>Run back to tank
>Blast em all to dream-hell

>>29815098
Jesus fuck, is there more? That's... well, it's funny, maybe not nut-bustingly hysterical.

>>29815235
http://vanheist.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=0

>>29815271
>http://vanheist.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=0
Thank you!

Rolled 43

>>29815038
This maybe beyond the mayors jurisdiction, demand to get this taken to court, get skilled lawyers, get this found unconstitutional and struck down.

> Punch Pinkerton

You wind your fist back and then quickly give her the business. She goes flying right into the building opposite, busting through a window and stunning everyone. Fukken rekt.

You look at the Hall Monitors, blowing a bit of steam off your fist. “Anyone else?” They all quickly drop their guns and run over the hills and far away. All the townspeople whistle and chatter admirably about you.

Kitten walks up to you, smiling. “How’d you do that?”

You shrug. “I dunno. Just came to me.”

“Is that so?” You look over and see a huge crowd of redcoats. No, no. It can’t be.

>> VICTORIA AUGUSTINE <<
>> CAPTAIN OF THE WILLIAM ADAMS NAVAL ACADEMY TANKERY TEAM <<

Victoria smirks. “Yeah, that’s so.”

Mary and Anne shake their heads. “Jaysus,” says Anne. “Look at this hick town. Probably don’t even have tanks worth fighting.”

>> MARY STUART AND ANNE MURPHY <<
>> VICTORIA’S CO-CAPTAINS <<

Mary looks over at Gwynedd Archer. “Isn’t that right, Archer?”

>> GWYNEDD ARCHER <<
>> ACE CHALLENGER TANK WITCH <<

Victoria laughs as she walks up to. “Well, I love this little joke you’ve set up for all of us. Think we might have to put it out of its misery though.”

> Punch Victoria
> Ask her a Question (Specify)
> “Over my dead body.”
> Other

>>29815334
>Ask her a Question
Is lesbian sex fun?

>>29815353
And then we punch her.

>>29815334
>Other

SUMMON THE TEAM!!! FOR WE DO NOT FIGHT ALONE!

>>29815334
> “Over my dead body.”

>>29815334
> Other
Grab Anne by the throat.

I'm sick of THIS bitch as well.

>>29815353
>>29815364
Yeah

>>29815353
>>29815364
Do it live

>>29815334
>BECOME the tank worth fighting! Have Kitten pilot you. IT'S NOT A GAY METAPHOR!

>>29815334
> “Over my dead body.”

Punch Anne, bitch deserves it

>>29815334
>"Over my dead body"

>>29815431
And then she can masturbate over the unconscious body of a teammate

Rolled 23

>>29815334
>> Ask her a Question (Specify)
What are your proposed terms for our contest?

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>>29815235
For reference, Didi is a self-replicated clone.

>>29815364
Not until hearing her answer, otherwise yes

> “Over my dead body.”

You point your sword at Victoria, bringing it right underneath her throat. “Over my dead body you bitch.”

Victoria smiles, even giggling a little. “Aw, that’s cute. A child trying to play with us adults.” She tips the blade away, smirking.

Kitten stands by you. “This town is under our protection. We won’t let you demolish it.”

“Well,” says Victoria. “Tell that to the Empire where the sun never sets.” She jumps back to Anne, Mary, and Gwynedd. “GIRLS! RELEASE!”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYAcPTQR0zE

The four become engulfed in a great cloud of red and white. Stars come down from the heavens and absorb them immediately. The stars explode, exposing them all now dressed out in armor befitting their tanks.

>> VICTORIA AUGUSTINE <<
>> WITCH REGALIA: CROMWELL VII <<

>> ANNE MURPHY <<
>> WITCH REGALIA: COMET I <<

>> MARY STUART <<
>> WITCH REGALIA: CRUSADER III <<

>> GWYNEDD ARCHER <<
>> WITCH REGALIA: A30 CHALLENGER <<

You stand back as the Four tower over you, clad in battle suits with weapons far greater than your own.

> “Maybe we can work something out”
> Attack
> Defend
> Run away
> Other

>>29815691
> Defend
THEY'RE GOING TO USE THEIR FAR SUPERIOR MOBILITY AGAINST US, DEFEND!

>>29815691
>Attack

>>29815691

Sweet Jesus what. Schteel, I swear you're having too much fun with this.

Rolled 49

>>29815691
>> Other
Rally the townsfolk and see what manifests:
"... We shall fight them on the beaches, We shall fight them ..." We're a leader, let's lead.

>>29815691
>> Attack
Look. Fuck you. Fuck the plane you flew in on. Fuck them shoes. Fuck those socks with the belt on it. Fuck your gay ass fairy faggot accent. Fuck them cheap ass cigars. Fuck your yuckmouth teeth. Fuck your hairpiece. Fuck your chocolate. Fuck Guy Ritchie. Fuck Prince William. Fuck the Queen. This is America. My president is black and my Lambo is blue, nigga. Now get the fuck out my town room, and if I see you on the street, I'm slapping the shit out of you.

>>29815764
Well it is certainly different from the norm and a nice breather.

>>29815691
>Attack
"Until now"

>>29815770
Hi Riley.

>>29815691
>Other
I am the bone of my sword
Steel is my body and fire is my blood
I have created over a thousand tanks
Unknown to Death, Nor known to Life
Have withstood pain to create many weapons
Yet, those hands will never hold anything
So as I pray, Unlimited Tankery Works

>>29815798
I'mma real nigga

>>29815767
>using a line calling for the Brits to resist against a bunch of Brits

>>29815691
>> Attack

Rolled 27

>>29815846
>Yeah, I know, cultural heritage and all. the example may be bad, but the idea is quality.

>>29815691
>>29815820
>RELEASE YOUR INNER POWER
>TANK FORM SYCNHRONIZE

> Attack

You twirl your sword in hand and charge, screaming.

You’re immediately blown back Archer’s 17 Pounder gun, Kitten catches you before you hit the ground.

Well, that could’ve gone worse.

The Hall monitors begin rallying around your example. They start arming themselves and begin responding, but are killed to a man. That leaves just you and Kitten to defend the town from the British empire.

You jump and try to slash at Mary, who simply knocks you aside. You fly into the side of a building and fall onto the ground.

“Oh, hey there, Gertrude.” You rise and look over to see Joyce, idly strumming her guitar.

“Joyce! What are you doing here?”

Joyce pulls a little hairclip out of her pocket. “Take this.” You take it. “It’ll help.”

Well, beggars can’t be choosers. You simply stick it into your hair-

Whoa whoa WHOA WHOA WHOOOAAA YOOOOOOO

The Brits look at you in great surprise. Kitten looks at you, happily gasping in surprise as well.

>> GERTRUDE POOL <<
>> WITCH REGALIA: M4A1E8 <<

Now what?

> SHATTER THEM
> DESTROY THEM
> KILL THEM
> SLAUGHTER THEM
> Other

>>29815993
>> Other
Put your dick in

>>29815993
>IMPREGNATE THEM

>>29815993
>Other
All of the above

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55 KB JPG

>>29815993
>EXTERMINATE! EXTEEEEERMINAAAAATE!

>>29815993
> Other
all of the above

>>29815993
ALL OF THE ABOVE

>>29815993
Defeat the British

See them naked before you

Hear the lamentations of their modesy

>>29815993
>KILL MAIM SLAUGHTER
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

also, that fucking hairclip

File: 1390797968284.png-(103 KB, 283x244, rip and tear.png)

103 KB PNG

>>29815993
> SLAUGHTER THEM
RIP AND TEAR!

Rolled 56

>>29816091
This.
>Skullz for My Lord Khorne!

File: 1390798093013.jpg-(102 KB, 594x550, KhorneFlakes.jpg)

102 KB JPG

>>29815993
>>29816091
>>29816112

File: 1390798159765.jpg-(255 KB, 894x894, KhorneKoolAid_zps5677b969.jpg)

255 KB JPG

>>29816141
Wait no, wrong image.

>>29815993
> SHATTER THEM

File: 1390798270713.jpg-(155 KB, 800x755, kaboom.jpg)

155 KB JPG

>>29815993
>BEFRIEND THEM

>>29816224
wrong anime anon

> ALL OF THE ABOVE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOq0NPTD2jA

You blast Mary first, blasting a hole right in her and exploding her armor right out from under her.

>> MARY STUART <<
>> STRIPPED OF THE WILL TO FIGHT <<

Anne screams as she charges you. You raise your arms, creating an intense magical shield as she punches and jabs at you with all the Irish fury she can muster. You look at Kitten and find her charging Anne from behind. You withdraw the shield and then smash Anne in the face, sending her barreling backwards.

Kitten leaps into the air with all the grace of a rocket, then brings her sword down.

>> ANNE MURPHY <<
>> STRIPPED OF THE WILL TO FIGHT <<

Victoria motions to all the otherwise normal Brits simply standing there. “What are you waiting for! Get them!”

They all charge, weapons blazing, but you kill them to a man.

You activate your track rollers on your feet, then dash at Victoria, gun held high and screaming like a banshee. Victoria fires her gun, but the round is sent flying as you slash it out of the way.

“IT’S CURTAINS FOR YOU!”

Gwynedd however immediately slides in the way and fires. Not at this range, you’re never going to dodge that.

“NO!”

Kitten wait-

The 17 Pounder blasts Kitten, sending her flying out of her armor and into the ground, naked and bleeding.

>> CAROL “KITTEN” SMITH <<
>> STRIPPED OF THE WILL TO FIGHT <<

> Finish off the Brits
> Help Kitten
> Other

>>29816280
>Help Kitten
No point in fighting if we have nothing to fight for, she is higher priority

Rolled 75

>>29815993
Why aren't we an M4A3E8?

I guess we aren't an 'Easy Eight', mate?

>>29816280
>> Help Kitten
HELP OUR FRIENDS FIRST

>>29816280
> Finish off the Brits
WITH REVENGEANCE

>>29816280
> Help Kitten

>>29816280
KIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEENNN!!!11!1!
>Help Kitten

>>29816280
> Finish off the Brits
Her sacrifice will not be in vain. Break them fully.

>>29816280
> Finish off the Brits
FIGHTING SPIRIT

>GuP Quest: Trigger Edition
I never knew something could be this much fun.

>>29816280
>> Help Kitten

>>29816280
>> Help Kitten

> Help Kitten

You strip yourself of your Witch Regalia then run over to Kitten. “KITTEN!” you scream.

Please be okay. Please be okay. You kneel down beside her, then wrap her up in your arms, cradling her. She’s splattered with her own blood, whether it drip down from cuts and bruises or out of her ears, mouth, and nose.

“Kitten, are you okay?” you’re near tears. “P-Please say something!”

Kitten opens her eyes a little, then turns her head. “T-Trudy…” You smile, biting your lip, tears flowing down your cheeks.

Victoria and Gwynedd begin tearing down all of Fayettesville, students run in every direction, screaming that their home is being destroyed.

“Trudy…” Kitten ecks out. She looks like she’s forcing herself to live. “D-Did… was I a hero?”

> WAS SHE A HERO?
> Y/N
> Other

>>29816499
>Kiss her

>>29816523
I agree with this.

>>29816499
This shit. >>29816523

>>29816499
> Y
You're always a hero in my eyes.
>>29816523
DO IT!

>>29816523
Doo eeet

>>29816499
>> Y

>>29816499
>Y

>>29816523
do it

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398 KB GIF

>>29816499
>> Y

>>29816499
>Y

>>29816499
>Kiss her

"You'll always be my hero."

>>29816499
>Y

Not this again....

Please just let this be on the forehead or something

>>29816523
Goodnight Sweet Prince

>>29816616
you're acting like Trudy is gay or something don't be silly.

>>29816523
only option

>>29816499
>Y

She was a hero

>>29816630
Well, not necessarily gaaayyy...

But she's definitely somewhere more towards the middle.

And we finally go full lesbians.

>>29816658
We're not doing this

>>29816658
What are you talking about seems pretty straight to me nothing wrong with sleeping with your friends.

>>29816658
ya she told kitten she was bi already