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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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Intro Crap: http://pastebin.com/mzS6YN7P

You are Risa Schrodinger, and you’ve seen some shit. You dragged your companions to the vaguely titled “North” for some comical lesbian hot springs action and probably skiing because my god you pander like shit. You arrived and discovered the mountain was being attacked by a blizzard and that the cries of women could be heard from the summit. You went up there to tell that snow woman to man the fuck up, but sadly it was no snow woman at all.

It was your ice companion and the origin of all nightmares, a sloth who has but one function in life and we all know what that is. We all know what that is. You awoke in your inn at the base of the mountain, the slow moving horror nowhere to be seen and the blizzard abated. You are laying in the common room while the ice woman who has a name but I really can’t be bothered is lamenting your near catatonic state.

“Onee-sama, if only I knew you would be there! I could have made you feel so welcome and-“ She starts but Jager interrupts her.

“Yeah that’s great and all but with the blizzard gone should we do the whole hot springs thing? That is why we are here right? Risa, come on get up.” She says.

The ice woman huffs. “My Onee-sama has had a hard day coming to see me. Why don’t you just leave us alone you cow woman!” She shouts.

“I’m a wolf. I don’t think we actually have a cow hollow.” Jager says tilting her head.

“Hmph! Like a wolf needs those uselessly large lumps of fat!” Ice woman says making us want to rip her soul out through her urethra. That’s a funny word, urethra.
(1/3?)
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“My breasts?” Jager glances down then sighs. “I didn’t want it to come to this but very well.” She turns towards her bag carrying her various secret Jager things we promised not to snoop through. She rummages for a few moments as Sin-Fin idly plays with Jean. She turns for a few moments holding a bright yellow rubber duck and you shoot up at once.

“Lord Quackington!” You say, his lordship looking well despite his time in captivity.

She holds him away from you, her greater height making reaching him difficult without tearing off Jagers arm which we probably won’t do because Jager-Bombs is best bro. “You sure you don’t want to take a trip to the hot springs?” She asks.

The ice woman puffs out her cheeks. “Onee-Sama don’t fall for it! Be strong!” But she doesn’t understand.

“The state of Risa demands the release of the political prisoner Lord Quackington. His unlawful imprisonment has brought nothing but disorder to the region. In exchange for his release the state of Risa is willing to engage in bathhouse shenanigans allowed by the state of Jager and ratified by the principality of Sin-Fin.” You say and Sin-Fin looks up from where she was playing with Bitey.

Her eyes slowly track left and right as she decides if she needs to say anything. She evidently decides not to as she leaves the comment and continues pulling on zweity’s hands in some weird gesture game which seems to delight her, though Sin-Fin’s expression never changes.

Jager starts to hand his Lordship over to you, then pulls it away before you can grab it. “And none of what happened last time. When you barricaded yourself in the throne room and demanded tolls by way of virgin sacrifice. I had a lot of work to do.”
(2/3?)
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You mull it over before nodding. “The Thursday rebellion was a bloody and regretful time for our state, however Lord Quackington was just a figurehead for the rebels and was being used by the prime minister. The PM has been dealt with severely but the underlying cause behind the rebellion is still strong. The state of Risa proposes that if the Nation of Jager were to make more time to play with us such rebellions would be less frequent in the future.”

“Agreed.” Jager replies and hands you his Lordship.

“Now ravage their resources” It hints by way of being yellow.

“Soon tyranny will fall.” You assure him.

Your group gets ready for the baths. “That was very impressive.” Mari tells Jager.

“You sort of get used to it. Everything she does makes sense to her and if you figure out how it all sort of falls into place you can usually help her make the right call.” She says.

“I have to wonder do you-“ She starts but a weak bala from sin-fin smacks her and makes her look around confused at the light impact.

When the revolution breaks out Sin-Fin shall have as much land as she desires.
(3/4)
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You split up outside the baths and after stripping and putting your clothes in a small bin, Ryoko assured you no one is going to steal your Doctor Who T-Shirt, you enter the bath. The massive bath seems to be a natural spring of some sort. There is a large bamboo looking wall on the left side and what seems to be a cliff along the others. You wash off by the little tub things, the lack of mask or hollow hole making the job much easier. Before getting in you set up Baal and Lord Quackington next to each other.

“I now pronounce you married. You shall rule this land with a terra cotta pot.” You proclaim and none can question your ability to marry.

You sit down in the boiling hot water, evidently the natural spring heat is being augmented by something. I smell a plot point coming up, but first is there anyone you want to talk to and/or mess with?

[] Yes(Who and what?)
[] Plot point? That probably isn’t ominous, go for that!
(4/4)
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>>30067593
Can we push someone into the plot point?
Also
>Introduce ice woman as proof we saved christmas
>>
>>30067618
Plot points are not like holes. They are more like snails. Jumping snails with a whole bunch of arms. Jumping snail octopi. Jsnoctopaig
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>>30067593
>[] Yes(Who and what?)
Tease nofungami lady. Its surprisingly fun.
>>
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>>30067636
Hmmmm, that makes things more complicated. Snails attract garlic and the French, and no one wants that.
Also, lord quackington needs to be restored to his rightful position of power at all costs.
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>>30067593
>principality of sin-fin
There two seem wise.
>>30067618
>>30067655
>>
>>30067593
We could hang out with our beloved student Ryoko?

Ask her why she hasn't ravaged both Kouta and whatshisface yet. I mean, they're twins.
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>>30067593
>[] Yes(Who and what?)
Fuego still needs to challenge the geothermal vents to a competition of HOT.
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>>30067593
Set Lord Quackington on the water.
The base of his power is in his overwhelming naval might.
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>>30067593
>[x] Yes(Who and what?)
shoot the shit Maurice,

also this>>30067785
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>>30067806
There will be no water left in the spring after that.

How about we introduce Mari to the wonders of shapeshifting by making ourselves look like Sin-fin?[/terrible plan]
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>>30067842
Become an armada, declare war on the various sovereign nations that now reside within the water.
>>
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>>30067806
Many challenges await Fuego.
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>>30067869
Hah!
>>
So we will start with making sure shiba keeps her dark plans away from short-fin, then make our way to Ryoko. Then put Lordquackington in the water where he may begin his naval crusade
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>>30067869
I thought Mari was the Quincy Matriarch?
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>>30067593
Slight electric current in the pool, electrify the party.
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>>30067979
... Good point, I meant shiba
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>>30067961
Sure. I mean, I personally ship Shiba and Short Fin because I find their interaction to be utterly hilarious.
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>>30068013
I have to agree.

Like I don't want to actually break them up.

I just want to harass Shiba about it because it's funny.
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>>30067961
Rise from the depths like the proverbial kraken to destroy those who threaten lord quackington. We have the tentacles to pull it off.
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>>30068013
Yes, but mis Shiba has yet to do something to cement our diplomatic support for endorsing them for saliva trade negotiations with the principality of Sin Fin. We need to vet her, perhaps drag her on a solo adventure.
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>>30068057
We really don't grow as much tentacles as we should.
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>>30068076
You speak wise words friend. The nation of Risa always looks out for its allies.

Speaking of which, we have a scorpion who was getting to close to the state of Jaegertits to destroy
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>>30068110
Jaeger probably had words with us about the use of tentacles in casual interaction.
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>>30068125
But she's proof that we saved Christmas.
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>>30068110
When we become physically eldritch, Risa starts to lose it, more than normal. As though unraveling her body does doubly so to her mind. But we can tentacle.
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>>30068110
"The Kraken" would make another fine title to give to ourselves...

imo
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>>30068171
Not icetits, the Scorpion who was around when we reformed!
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>>30068181
Is that how it is? I thought it was the other way around, and we only really become a flesh abomination when we're already particularly angry and/or bloodthirsty.
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>>30068214
Oh, him.

Is our snow bitch here? She should learn to relax and get into this pool or the sauna.
>>
>>30068216
Also this just made me consider something. Now that we altered the timeline by bringing back Michelle, what motive did we have to kill that Vice Captain and all his students?
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>>30068216
Ah, point...though it can go either way.
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>>30068247
Wait, we might not have performed Scarborough Fair! Noooo!
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>>30068247
He was bad at rap battles.
His rhymes were limp, his lyrics whack.
So we ate his students and made him go crack.
>>
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“So is no one going to mention that the ice woman proves I saved Christmas and thus santa is real?” You ask looking over the group. “No? No one?”

“You could have found her anywhere sensei.” Ryoko says and you note she seems to have several scratches on her impressive for a female human girl back.

“But she is all icy and she served robo-thatcher!” You point out.

“And I got my powers from falling into a radioactive pit filled with very angry moles.” Ryoko says.

Well, someone is getting coal in their stocking next year. You ignore the unbeliever and slip under the water, your long hair trailing your path as you make a slow slither towards Sin-Fin and the werewolf Shiba. “Werewolf?” You ask, though with you being underwater if comes out more like “beerhoof?” Yes. Lesbians are dark witches who use their moon blood to cast the curse of lycanthropy. They are weak due to the power of the sun order so they try and get other women together with them. Even notice how lesbians all seem to get their periods at the same time? That is their dark magics working to bring about a new age of the beast. Witchcraft, blood magic, moonblood, moonlight, werewolves. Read a book once and a while.

You approach while the Shiba is trying to get into mah Short-Fin’s nonexistent plants. “She would never fit in them.” You note. Quite.

“You have such beautiful skin.” She says, tracing a finger along Sin-Fin’s shoulder. “You shouldn’t hide it so much. You are really gorgeous.”

“I see.” Sin-Fin replies as deadpan as ever.

“You know, I have been thinking about how to get you alone in this trip, I find it really hard to resist.” Shiba continues unaware of your ever approaching force.
(1/3)
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>>30068265
I think its far more likely that our spider friend is alive again then us sparing the vice captain. After all, add plant bro to that fight with the general of rage and we might have gotten out with 0 casualties.
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Sin-Fin’s graze tracks towards Shiba as she slowly inches closer and closer. You see her rest her hand on Sin-Fin’s leg underwater, slowly move her fingers to the inside of her thigh then trace up slowly. Her thin fingers are almost to Sin-Fin’s fig leaf and you can see Shiba’s eyes becoming lidded and her breathing becoming heavy.

Your ability to create illusions is always fun, more so when you turn Sin-Fin into the Rape sloth. Shiba jumps back surprised as you slowly surface from the pool of water. You dismiss the illusion and hold a fairly disturbing smile. You wag your finger then slip back down, never closing your eyes or changing expression. That should keep her off mah fin for a while. You make your way over to Ryoko where she sits with a few bottles of what is probably not water.

You pop out of the water right next to her and give a warning glance towards shiba for my sake. Wait, my sake? Really? “Yeah. I got your back.” You say. Wow, that is seriously cool of you.

“Talking to yourself?” Ryoko asks looking you over with a predatory gaze.

“No, I am talking to monologue. Why do none of you get that? There is a potentially highly dangerous partially omnipotent mind controlling avatar of insanity in my brain parts! They are real!” You say and Ryoko shakes her head.

“Sure. Too bad these aren’t showers. You have great legs.” She says drinking some more.

“Speaking of your perverted debauchery, why haven’t you slept with Friedhelm and Kouta? I mean, twins! Don’t twins give you powers?” No that’s the Irish.
(2/3)
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>>30068231
She also needs to learn precisely where Jaeger is on the hierarchy of friends and her relative position.
>>
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“I tried with Kouta but he is the no nonsense type. As for Friedhelm he is a fucking nazi. Shit, I grew up in a neutered Japan and even I think he is fucked in the head. Have you heard the crap he spews from his mouth? I don’t even think I could fuck that out of him.” She answers.

“The implications are troubling. I believe I shall eventually have a discussion with their mother about this. With force.” You say kicking off the side of the pool and floating over to where his lordship is busy penning a sonnet in Raphael’s honor.

You take his Lordship and place him on top of your head as you look around for a target to unleash the full force of his genocidal love. Shiba is glancing around while talking to Sin-Fin and may be forced to learn to terror that is yellow. Jager did lock up his lordship and seems to be talking with Mari while struggling to keep zweity in the bath. Caede is relaxing against a rock you are certain must be scalding. Ryoko is getting ever more drunk which may be a bad thing for a young lady to do.

Your orders admiral?
[] I desire naval bombardment of ______
[] Let’s go mess with someone another way
[] Talk to some one
[] Just relax
[] Other, please specify
(3/3)
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>>30068231
She might melt, so she said she was going to wait in the room. But I don't trust her, snow people are all up to something.

She did try to take santa after all.
>>
>>30068377
>[x] I desire naval bombardment of ______

Ryoko
see if it gives her flashbacks of bukkake
>>
>>30068377
>[] I desire naval bombardment of ______
EVERYONE! FIRE ALL SPLISHY-SPLASHY!
>>
>>30068377
We must unleash the full ferocity of unrestricted u-boat warfare on Shiba.

Run silent. Run deep.
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>>30068377
>Naval bombardment of the oppressors! Strike at Jager whilst she is distracted revealing the secrets of how to direct our goodwill! (The traitor!)
In fact, preemptive strikes for everyone! The Winter revolution cometh! I'm sure we can use shapeshifting to create water jet delivery mechanisms.
>>
>>30068364
Yes, also her power needs to be at our beckon and call, because more crazy power people on team Risa can only be good.
>>
>>30068377
Talk to Caede
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>>30068377
Shapeshift into a smug duck and float around strategically preventing people from oggling anything.
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>>30068396
Well, she is snow longer a threat and seems reasonably ice. Maybe if we chill with her a bit we'll find her to be quite cool.
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>>30068377
Listen in on Jager and Mari.

Use it as research material for a future prank when you pretend to be a responsible and reasonable adult and see how long it takes for people to think you've been replaced by an impostor.
>>
>>30068484
>>30068511
OH gods yes.
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>>30068511
"But Jaeger, people might get hurt if we do that! "
>>
>>30068511
It's brilliant.

It'll be like puck pretending to be Owen in gargoyles except everyone will know it's us and be entirely unnerved. Show up to work haggard and drinking coffee, no nonsense lesson with actual lesson plans. Being a calm and commanding presence, actually teaching Ryouichi how to use some of his powers.
>>
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You lower yourself into the deep darkness of the “It isn’t dark.” You note. Then the warm waters of the spring with Lord Quackington. You cling to the bottom of the spring as you run silent and deep. You first make your way to Ryoko, her school girl like antics and genuine compliments on your legs making you feel, well, appreciated really. It’s nice when people recognize things like that. Anyway, you make your way over to her and summon your dark powers.

You raise yourself up directly in front of her and when her drunkenly addled mind is too busy to notice the threat, you and Lord Quackington have already unleased your weaponry. You fire gravity water at her and send her sputtering back. She tries to bash in away but you and Lord Quackington cling to her and drag her under the water with you. She smacks you in the boob, but you consider the attack a success as you swim away into the deep darkness of the hot spring’s sea.

You lift your periscope (A hand with an eye in it) and see Shiba and Sin-Fin still sitting in their place. Ryoko is sputtering and Jager glances her way but your assault is still well hidden. You paddle over to them slowly and- “Heh. Fig leaf. I just got it.” Yeah. You make your way over shifting your form. You strategically place Lord Quackington near Sin-Fin while you take a smug duck form.

“Honestly Sin-Fin. You should just let go a little. You deserve some level of closeness with another.” Shiba explains.

“Ah. Duck.” Sin-fin says looking at the placed lord Quackington.

She stands and bends over to grab him and Shiba nearly squeals with delight. Nearly because before she could see anything a very smug looking duck blocked everything good. You float by Sin-Fin, your eyes googly and duck like and I give you fair warning about your shapeshifting being hard without full release but you ignore me. Sin-Fin is already sitting back down with the important parts covered by the time Shiba gets around your duckness.
(1/2?)
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Shiba narrows her eyes before seemingly struck by inspiration. She reaches over under the water and pinches Sin-Fins perfectly shaped bottom. She jumps up and the waves cause you to fly in front of her chest with a strange action line blocking Shiba’s view. She blinks in confusion as the action line doesn’t actually occur in nature except in some small African villages. She looks at Risa-Duck and narrows her gaze. She gets face to face with you and you can’t resist so you make a duck sound and bite her nose before grabbing lord Quackington and slipping under the water once more.

She curses your name as you resume u-boat, heh. U-boat operations. You swim over to Jager and see she is talking with Mari about stuff. You listen in but it bores the crap out of you. Serious people are boring. She looks at Zweity who is playing with toys but none of them as fun or as cool as yours is. You make ready to prank her.

“Yeah, I am just worried Risa will figure out what cool secret thing I have in mind.” Wait secret thing?

“It sure sound fun.” Mari says wiping at her face.

“Finding that many perfectly shaped butts alone took a whole lot of work, but she is worth it. Listen close as I tell you my secret plan.” She says leaning closer to Mari.

This looks on the up and up so you raise your cloaking and try to surface. At once a hang lashes out and snatches Lord Quackington away from you. You let out a gurgle of shock and nearly drown, so you decloak and surface. You sputter and cough on the edge of the hot spring as Jager looks sternly at you. “You abuse the duck you lose the duck.” She says.

Curse her voluptuous chest! “Curse your voluptuous chest!”

“What is with everyone and my chest?” She asks and holds onto the duck.

Damn it! A prisoner of a dark one again!

[] Try to free Lord Quackington.
[] Talk to them
[] Mess with someone else
[] Just relax
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
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>>30068936
>[] Just relax
>>
>>30068936
>[x] Other, please specify

"YOU FOOL! I AM THE DUCK!"

And then shape into Lord Quackington
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>>30068936
Lord quackington! You will not go into the darkness alone!
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>>30068936
>[] Try to free Lord Quackington.
She used our pure maiden heart and affection for honed buttocks against us.
The cad!
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>>30069005
This. Jaeger manipulates us to take away our fun. And we thought she was put friend.
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>>30068936
>Just relax
>>
>>30068936
>[] Just relax
Relax so hard that you start to melt into the water. Then freak out because you're all melty.
>>
Relaxing it is.
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>>30068936
Make Jager tell us how to relax.
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>>30068936
>Just relax
By doing
>>30068991
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>>30069068
Can we at least turn into the duck? It's too good an idea to pass up. And just floating is probably relaxing.
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>>30068936
Just relax
>>
>>30068936
>[] Other, please specify
Full release.

Shapeshift into thousands of Lord Quackingtons all connected by tiny strands (hidden under the water) and start quacking like mad.
>>
I wonder if Jaeger will ever realise that playing along is more likely to result in Risa bring less manic.
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>>30069169
She does, it just varies depending on our mood.
>>
>>30068936
>[X] Just relax
>>
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You shake your fist at Jager, but it is to be expected she takes away everything fun when you are just getting to the good part. You wade over so your back to the entrance and turn into a duck for a while. You make vague quacking sounds towards the others, and try to relax but you are straining your shape shifting. You shiver with the strain of maintaining the duck façade but it is hard. You are thus unprepared when the ice girl smacks you and makes you change back. You sputter as you turn to her and something seems a bit… off.

“Jeez Onee-sama. You sure like your shifting.” She says and you think you hear something else.

“You knocked the duck out of me you crazy ice skank.” You say.

She shoves a hand roughly into the water and grabs your chest. You raise an eyebrow at the move and then turn to her and tilt your head. “You know, I can kill you.” You explain but she just sighs and shakes her head.

“Jeeze Onee-sama. You really need to.” She turns to the side. “Chill out?”

A roaring laughter like an audience erupts followed by whistling and claps. You almost ignore it because you think it is just me fucking with you, a fair assessment, but then the others turn and look around too. Ice person kicks her feet as if waiting for the laughter to die down and when it does she looks back at you. “I guess you could say you have a sort of icy… disposition?” She offers and again there is that awful sound of laughter and clapping.

“Is that a laugh track? Do you have a laugh track?!” You demand as Jager looks over at you.

“What happened?” She asks and you shake your head.

“I don’t know. We evidently have a live audience watching us right now who finds ice puns to be hi-fucking-larious. Come one.” You say pulling yourself out of the water and moving towards the dressing room.
(1/2)
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When you arrive you find the baskets turned over and the clothes within them missing. Your eyes go wide as you search through the various clothing scattered about and discover to your horror that yes. Someone or something has stolen your shirt. Well, everyone’s clothes with a troubling focus on knickers. You look furious at Ryoko. “You swore.” You spit and Ryoko looks around idly.

“What happened?” She asks looking through her clothes and just finding the knickers gone.

You feel your rage swell and your go juice begin to leak out as the full might of your wrath starts to descend on this tiny little planet. You nearly cero her when Jager puts a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, that won’t fix this okay? We can get you another shirt.” She explains.

“That was my Doctor Who shirt!” And inventory. “And Inventory was in those pants! Where else will I keep my stuff? I don’t know how to operate pockets.” You point out controlling yourself only because the full weight of your hollow rage would destroy this little building.

“Okay. Well, how I get you some more clothes and we see if the lady at the front saw anything? If she didn’t then we will look for it and if we don’t find it I will make you another Doctor Who shirt okay? Even make that scarf you want.” She offers.

Jager’s offer spares Ryoko from your wrath. You have to mix and max the other’s clothes to make a fit since you keep everything in your pants, but finally you are about ready to start the investigation.

[] Ask Ice girl, she is acting hella weird.
[] Everyone is weird. Jager had a good idea, go ask the person at the front.
[] Cero the ever loving crap out of everything
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
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>>30069385
>[] Everyone is weird. Jager had a good idea, go ask the person at the front.
>>
>>30069385
Ice girl is acting weird. She is clearly a cylon fetch.
>>
>>30069385
>[x] Ask Ice girl, she is acting hella weird.

learn the secret of the laugh track? did she make a dark pact with Chuck Lorre?
>>
>>30069385
>[X] Everyone is weird. Jager had a good idea, go ask the person at the front.
>>
Why am I reminded of Ryouichi? I am convinced there are mind control shenanigans going on here.
>>
>>30069385
>[] Everyone is weird.
IT'S LOKI. I KNOW IT'S HIM
>>
>>30069385
[x] Ask Ice girl, she is acting hella weird.
We need a picture of Risa all angry with the caption "I bet Loki did this!"
>>
>>30069385
>[] Ask Ice girl, she is acting hella weird.
She used to be cool, but she's changed. We should investigate.
...Loki? Is that you?
>>
>>30069385
>Cero the fourth wall
Fuck the audience
>>
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“You Ice person. You are acting odd. Why are you acting odd?” You demand and she shrugs.

“Guess you could say I’m just an ice girl!” She explains with another laugh track.

“Stop that, stop that right now.” You command grabbing her and slamming her against the clothing shelf. “Either you tell me what happened or I swear on Gallifrey I will pop you right in the mouth” You say.

“Ara, you saw through my illusion.” A voice calls out.

The Ice woman changes into a bunch of leaves and flutters apart. You turn to see a busty blonde haired woman with nine tails from the back of her. She is wearing a traditional outfit, though you don’t imagine it is being worn proper. You growl and hold out your hand. “Gimme back my shirt.” Ice Girl too. “And the snow harpy.”

“I am afraid my masters, the four heavenly kings are not willing to give up their prizes.” She explains covering her face with a fan. Where did she get that fan from?

“Jager. Please present Lord Quackington.” You ask and she does so. You kneel before his Lordship and offer a sweeping gesture with one arm. “What is your command oh Lord of the Quacking sun. He who is like the east and the dawn?”

There is no need for two fluffy tail providers in my kingdom.” He would probably say judging by the way Jager is holding him.
(1/2)
>>
How long until quest runners start using patreon?
>>
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You spin and fire a bala at the woman, but she flutters away into motes of fire. You see the strange form waft through the air as her voice echoes out. “If you truly wish to make your own grave then come to the eastern mountain and follow the path into the deep cave! There you will find my masters and your doom.” She explains spiraling into the distance.

“And my shirt right? Seriously, that was my favorite shirt!” You shout.

“This is crazy Risa” Jager says as you pull yourself out of the false body and stretch.

“They stole my shirt. I am going to rape their eyeballs with their fucking spines. No one touches my Doctor Who stuff. “ You say.

Jager glances back at the kids before sighing. “Alright. This is important to you so I will help you get it back.”

Sin-Fin is already out of her body and standing by the doorway with Fuego, his massive arms crosses and waiting. Shiba quickly exits her body too and stands near Sin-Fin. “Wait, hold on. We can’t leave everyone to Mari.” Jager says.

“Fine, we can all go. Field trip everyone.” You explain and your group moves.

The trip is long and difficult, mostly because there were a bunch of stairs along the way. Zweity gets sleepy halfway through and Fuego started to carry her and it was sort of adorable if you weren’t so cross with these four heavenly kings. You eventually make it to the massive yawning portal of the cave and tap your chin. Likely there will be many an enemy in there. How do you want to play this?

[] Sneak in. Retrieving my stuff is the most important.
[] Kick down some doors. They must pay.
[] Leave, this isn’t jiving with you
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
>>30069887
>Kick down some doors. They must pay.
And pay they shall.
>>
>>30069887
>the four heavenly kings
Just so everyone knows they are Buddest Deities, which probably means they are pretty tough.
>>
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>>30069887
>[x] Kick down some doors. They must pay.

in the currency of very painful death
>>
>>30069887
Just shout into the cave to give them your shirt back.

Because come on.
>>
>>30069887
>[] Kick down some doors. They must pay
Ha ha! Time to fuck with the local dieties!
>>
>>30070050
pretty sure this is a transparent excuse for murder.
>>
>>30069887
>kick the doors down, they must pay.

No one does mischief to the mischief maker.
>>
>>30069887
Get the shirt and inventory back. Then proceed to scrawl on everything they have that's too big to shove in them!
>>
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“We go in the front door. Like proper guests.” They stole our shirt. “But don’t, like, take your shoes off. They are bad people and we are going to much the shit out of their furniture. Fuego, make sure to pee on the toilet seat if you have to go. If we are offered drinks no one use coasters. Also eat all their food and leave, like, just one left.” You command. Yeah, that is one hell of a revenge.

You walk into the cave and your senses are immediately sent swimming through the vast everything of forever. It lasts for but a second, but by the time you regain your senses you are alone! You are standing in a vast labyrinth. You look around but stop when you hear stomping behind you. You turn and see a woman with a belt covering her massive tits and a pair of horns jutting out from her head. She has a massive axe and a nose piercing. “You have entered the minotaur-“ She starts but you say fuck her bullshit.

You sonido over to her as your face starts to shift and crack at your barely contained rage. Your knee connect solidly with her muscular abdomen and then your fist with her jaw as she doubles over. You sonido behind her slowly falling form and grab her hair. You pull her down to the ground and she collides with a solid impact. You charge your arm with cero energy and point it at her. “Where is my bloody shirt?” You demand.

Her eyes go wide. “N-No I don’t know! The bosses probably have it! One of the six of them have-“
(1/2)
>>
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“Six? Why are there six heavenly kings in the four heavenly kings?” You ask

“I just work here.” She offers.

“Show me.” You demand.

She leads you through the maze, telling you about some particularly nice moss growing on some rocks, or how the bleached bones really bring out the roominess of the labyrinth. Not once do you see a goblin or a David Bowie but it’s just as well. In Mari’s shirt and Jager’s pants you are hardly in any shape for company. She opens a large door and leads you into a massive room. In the middle of the room is a man in leather pants, a large hat and an open leather duster. He has your pants behind him and in his hands is the most dangerous weapon of all. A guitar.

“Risa. I have heard a lot about you.” He says.

“You are not a god. You are not even sort of a god. How the hell do you know who I am?” You ask as he tunes his weapon.

“I hear things from many places. All of them speaking of the wild woman with nothing to lose. Dare you meet my challenge to ROCK?” He asks playing a few cords and a wave of force sends you flying back.

Do you?
[] Yes. Let’s rock you son of a bitch
[] I have laser hands. Why should I?
[] Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
>>30070338
>[x] I have laser hands. Why should I?

punk rock only has 3 chords for 2:30 secs.
>>
>>30070338
>Laser hand rap battle or nothing nerd
>>
>>30070338
Laser Floyd.
From your hands, legs, tails, and any body part not sporting moar lasers.
>>
>>30070374
agreed. Also, the minotaur is now working for us.
>>
>>30070374
>>30070391
This seems wise. Also agreed.
>>
>>30070338
"...I... I guess? I'm very confused. First of all, the Minotaur is a Greek myth. And secondly it's not a race, but a singular guy born from Zeus fucking with some furry's head.

So... is this all more of the Ninetails's crazy illusions?"
>>
>>30070355
>>30070374
So attacking seems to be winning?

Okay, how do you want to fight?
[]As we are
[]First release
[]Full release

Also 1d100 please. Best of first five as normal.
>>
Rolled 41

>>30070338
This isn't anything like the Japanese mythologies I was expecting.

>>30070409
Oh boy here we go.
[x]First release
>>
Rolled 45

>>30070409
amidoinitrite?
>>
Psh we can guitar take him.
>>
>>30070338
[x] LET THERE BE ROCK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TLV4_xaYynY
>>
Rolled 78

>>30070409
We weren't planning on attacking, we were just showing him our lasers.
>>
Monstergirls now work for us. Make them a part of scrub ops.
>>
Rolled 77

>>30070409
I thought we were using lazers for rap because that's how we roll.
>>
>>30070409
Before we attack, can we make a guitar out of our own body parts with shapeshifting to then laser him with while teaching him the real meaning of rock?
>>
>>30070409
Attacking wasn't an option in the first place.

There's a big difference between making a threat and actually following through with it.
>>
Rolled 70

>>30070409
>[x]As we are


never be the first one to transform

you'll always get trumped
>>
Rolled 55

>>30070409
Full release
>>
>>30070435
A laser light show will not make a particular difference to combat or to the language of guitar but if you would prefer to do that it certainly is a thing that can be done.
>>
>>30070436
Have we ever actually used scrub ops for anything?
>>
>>30070483
I wanted to attack him.....
>>
Let me clarify. The laser option is combat. You will try to laser him in the face. Is this what you want to do?
>>
>>30070483
I don't think the people you picked were deciding on us attempting to kill the guy right now.

But now everyone's gearing for a fight because you said so.
>>
>>30070519
Not really.

I mean we can always laser him if we lose.
>>
>>30070519
I want to laser him
>>
>>30070521
That would be why I am asking for clarification after giving more information.
>>
>>30070519
Nah.

We laser everybody, we don't get into rock battles at all.
>>
>>30070519
Let's hold off on the lasers for now. Though we should ask, you know, why steal our pants in the first place and then act like you're not luring us into an obvious trap.
>>
Okay, so the vote has shifted again? Let's do it this way.

Link to this post and put the number, and just the number for the option you want to win.

1. Guitar battle
2. Combat
3. Shooting your lasers randomly in different directions to make a laser light show. Again, this will likely only be a drain on your go juice but is something you can do.

Will close and tally in 5 minutes.
>>
>>30070731
1
>>
>>30070731
2
>>
>>30070731
1
>>
>>30070731
1 and 2 together-guitar combat followed with a surprise laser to the face from the guitar.
>>
>>30070731
1
>>
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>>30070773
>>
Closed.

1: 3
2: 1
>>
>>30070848
And then, we thrashed so hard that the ancient gods of punk rose and we all did drugs and replaced the seam of our sleeves with clothes pins.
>>
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You straighten yourself as the man starts to play. He trashes on his cords heavily and deeply causing you to rock back as the sound waves cut into your body. You sonido past him and slide on the ground. You reach your hand into your pants on the ground and pull out a guitar. You start to shred in time with his but he overwhelms you.

You get sent flying back into the wall as the blades of sound slice deeply into your flesh. Your body hisses steam as your regeneration takes over and you begin putting your go juice into the instrument. The raw untamed energy of you lashes out against the force of sound and the air hisses with violet electricity as your power starts to assert itself.

The raw energies collide in the center of the massive room and you see a violet membrane of energy form in front of you. You take steps forward while remembering how to work your fingers as the energy gets brighter and brighter. Your opponent does the same as you, stepping forward in time with his rift. You think you are closely matched, but he quickly takes it up a step and only too late to you realize your mistake. He baited you into playing faster than normal and baited you to build up the energy. There is nothing you can do other than hold the power where it is and try to keep up but he is already stepping up his game.
(1/2)
>>
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Like his hand has split into ten fingers from a deal at the crossroads he begins playing perfectly on an instrument made for him while you are just playing on a guitar you probably stole. It does the best it can, but it is no match in the end. The neck snaps with the strings and you feel the full force of the waves of blade filled sound as well as your own abstract discharged energy. You feel deep cuts form on your body as you go flying back and you hear him readying another attack.

“I thought you said we can take him.” You protest. Hind sight 20/20 I may have vastly underestimated our capabilities. Just remembered we were good at violin and piano probably. Maybe. Or your instrument was just shit.

What do we do?
[] Laser the crap out of him
[] Play with a different guitar
[] *MIRACLE OPTION*
[]Other, please specify
(2/2)
>>
>>30071023
Start singing about how everything is bollocks! Channel the will of Sid Vicious
>>
>>30071050
Miracle Option!

Do we form a band? Does Shiba impress us with her curse laden lesbian singing voice come to our aid? Does Jäger play Bongos?
>>
>>30071050
>[x] Laser the crap out of him


Punk and its 3 chords were no match the Buddhist deity of rock... surprise surprise
>>
>>30071050
>[] *MIRACLE OPTION*
That's really tempting. Care to explain miracles a bit more? Will this eat into some limited supply of them or something?
>>
>>30071111
It is not something you know about. Godhood did not come with a manual, but testing is the best way to find out how it works. Just like guns. No, wait, the opposite of that.
>>
>>30071050
>[] Laser the crap out of him
>>
>>30071129
Look right down the barrel of the miracle and flex the trigger while trying to clean it and make extra special sure to not check for miracle bullets?

Got it, Boss!
>>
>>30071050
>[] Laser the crap out of him
No to the shiny miracle button. Save that for someone we can't drop with facelasers.
>>
>>30071050
>[] *MIRACLE OPTION*

It's in caps. How can we resist?
>>
>>30071050
>*MIRACLE OPTION*
Let's Frizzle this dizzle.
>>
Miracle seems to win
>>
>>30071172
By which I mean take chances, make mistakes, and get messy.

We'll have to figure out how being a god works sooner or later.
>>
>>30071050

>FIRE ZE LAZERS!!!
>>
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You ready your lasers and Ding! “Did you just go ding?” No you went ding, I just vocalized your body’s natural dinginess. You have a miracle on tap. Activate it! “How?” You ask tilting your head. I am not certain.

A wave of force slams into you sending fine crimson mist all along the wall. You cough up thin trails of blood as the guitarist starts his next piece. Of course it is a guitarist. Bloody wankers the lot of them. Do what comes natural.

You leap out of the way as a cone of destructive force slams into the wall. You take a deep breath and empty your mind when it comes to you. You blink at what you have to do but decide you may as well go for it. You regenerate anyway so what do you care. You open your mouth and pinch your bottom right back-most molar tightly. You harden your fingers with Go-juice and then rip your tooth out. Your eyes water as the nerves in your mouth scream at the indignity of what you just did. Your mouth fills with metallic sticky liquid but you have no time to think on it. You charge the tooth with your go juice energy, giving it all you got and letting it have a life of its own.

You feel something strange in your mouth but you ignore it as you throw the tooth into the air, a small fragment of damaged dimension forming above you to break and take the tooth in. The man looks around confused as the temperature drops several degrees. You have to open your mouth to spit out the blood which seems like it will drown you if you don’t. A thick fog fills the room as the temperature change continues until you hear a massive scream from above.
(1/3)
>>
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Reality breaks as the fog blooms into a perfect circle of clear air and like a blazing comet of darkness something breaks into the room. It freezes in midair a few centimeters from colliding with the ground next to you totally ignoring the laws of physics. The strange energy breaks into small petals of violet light and standing there is your guitar.

A black thing with a thin vertical slitted eye moving around it as if it were somehow rolling around it while constantly watching. The surface itself feels like nothing of this world. Jolts of electric painful pleasure shoot through your body as your fingers touch it and you realize that the strange material is, somehow, a solid mass of sensation. You look closely at the strings and see they are violet strands of your hair. Twisted and reinforced with mad go-juice. You flick your long nails over the strings and something so beautifully horrific screams out from the guitar you have to continue.

Your energy channels perfectly and thin tendrils of violet energy shoot out of the guitar. To the enemy guitarist’s credit, he manages to throw up a barrier of bladed sound but just like before when it was too late for you to stop him, this time it is he too late to stop you. The thin whips snake through the barrier and stab into the man. He stiffens as one enters him and you can only imagine the insane sensations his mind must be going through. You see thin rivers of blood exit his eyes, nose, ears, and mouth as his brain burns itself in the raw sensations being forced into it. Eventually he stops moving and you see something get torn out of him and a sharp toothed mouth form on the guitar. It pulls that something into itself and chews before the mouth vanishes.
(2/3)
>>
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Inscribed on the side is the word idemque. You put that thought away for later as you take off Jager’s trousers and put on your own pants. You put the guitar over your shoulder and glance back but the minotaur is gone. You shrug and leave through a separate door, your hand on your cheek.

You wander for a while, the throbbing in your mouth growing worse and worse as you press on. You find Jager standing over a naked stone girl shattered to pieces. “Oh, Risa. Have you noticed the monsters in here seem to have been made by some teenager’s wet dream? A few of them try to seduce me but-“ She freezes looking at you. “-Are you okay? You look like you are in pain which you normally enjoy.”

“I like pain when it is new and interesting. This one has overstayed its welcome.” You say blood dripping out of your mouth.

“Let me see.” She commands and you obey.

She looks in your mouth and then pulls out a rag. She dabs inside your mouth and you squirm when she gets near your gum. She eventually cleans it up enough and looks closely inside your mouth. “Your tooth is gone.”

“I pulled it out. But I do that all the time. Sometimes I pull off all my fingers just to see which grow back first. I may need better hobbies.” You say and Jager nods.

“Yeah, well. If this tooth is growing back it is being awful slow about it.” She says.

Well, this is certainly a thing.

Okay, why don't we end it here since I think we are losing people slowly but surely? I am still around for questions, concerns, and comments as usual or to just stare blankly at the judgmental eyes of my cat.
>>
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Next thread will be either tomorrow or this weekend depending on friends schedules and the like.
>>
>>30071689
We Omnishred now.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NH9u3wpmxwA
>>
>>30071709
what?
i mean what?
did we just permanently lose a tooth to become a guitar god or what the hell was the deal with that?
>>
>>30071709
So do we have as many potential miracles as we do teeth?

Also now we need to find some gold to use as a replacement.
>>
>>30071741
...Is this like Monkey's hair? Like how he can pull it off, change it, and then have it change back and return when he wills it?
>>
Hope there are some spiritually-inclined or otherwise Hollowified dentists hanging around. Otherwise eating things might be a bit painful while the thing heals at a its reduced rate.
>>
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>Eldritch guitar that is made of teeth and eats people
Metal as fuck.
>>
>be primordial force of chaos
>decide its time for pulling a miracle
>literally turn a tooth into an unholy artifact of your being, an eldritch guitar of unfathomable power
>implying we won't evolve into the literal god of metal.
>>
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>>30071744
You may have created a "divine" item. Granted it isn't splitting a river in two or making a bigger on the inside boat but it is still your first.

>>30071794
This one was a tooth. Who is to say what other miracles might cost?

>>30071804
It would be pretty hard to put back into your mouth as is.
>>30071824
Risa doesn't understand just how you can all stand being so... slow.
>>30071836
>Eldritch guitar that is made of teeth formed from the raw idea of physical sensation and eats people after flash frying their brains by making them feel everything.
>>
>>30071709
Brutal

absolutley Brutaliful

thanks for running

shine on you crazy diamond
>>
How was this quest in terms of how it ran and the feel of it? Closer to the fun aspects of the quest, bordering on the worst parts?

I would like to get this back up to fighting form.
>>
>>30071899
Yes, but what song did Risa play? Was it Yngwie?
>>
>>30071899
>Risa doesn't understand just how you can all stand being so... slow.
So, this does mean that it is healing? Just at snail-pace?
I'm not entirely sure why I'm so attached to this tooth.

>>30071933
Closer to the fun, but still with room to improve. Nowhere near the worst.

Don't worry, it'll get there.
>>
>>30071899
>Risa doesn't understand just how you can all stand being so... slow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-G7XG2l6C4
>>
>>30071933
it was good i thought.
>>
archived
>>
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Potential items you may or may not get.

Dilectae: A sword.
Dēfutūta: A cloak like wrapping
Agonia: Whip
Gaudium: An axe

So on and so forth.
>>30071952
Well people don't heal their teeth usually. Never happening is awfully slow.
We will find out next thread or the thread after if it is permanent or just a minor inconvenience.

As long as we are back on track to distilled crazy I will be happy.

>>30071946
Ha ha ha, well I wonder.
>>30072006
Good to know!
>>30072021
Oh thanks I almost forgot. Ha ha, that description is really good!
>>
>>30072059
I don't know, I like the feeling of tearing people apart with our bare hands.

Unless we can give them to our friends, since Ryoko is hardly a proper Berserker until she's hacking things with an axe.
>>
>>30072059
Wouldn't naming something Agonia be stepping on Sin Fin's toes?
>>
>>30072059
>Potential items you may or may not get.

>Dilectae: A sword.
>Agonia: Whip
>Gaudium: An axe

>So on and so forth


I'm not entirely sure why Risa's miracles are making weapons when she doesn't even like her own zanpaktou and is much better at kicking things to death anyway.
>>
>>30072148
Historically gods give their shit away most times. God gave Moses the stick, he didn't do it himself.
>>30072163
She will forgive you because you are her best friend. Forever.

Not that she has many friends.
>>
>>30072202
not including the ones in her head? granted they're pretty abusive though.....
>>
>>30072059
>Ha ha, that description is really good!
Glad you like it.
>>
>>30072201
Indiana Jones used a whip. You saying he hates nazis more than us?

The sword will likely not be for us though it will match us.

Axes are the enemy of all wood. You some sort of wood sympathizer?

The other post should have answered it. You can give them away to people.
>>30072220
Including the ones in her head. When Risa visits, after she leaves Sin-Fin sits in her room and clenches her fists a little; excited with all the words she said today.

Then she thinks about words she wants to say but gets afraid Risa will laugh at her or stop coming around. She thinks Risa is as delicate as her.
>>
>>30072290
I forgot about the giving them away part at first. That would be a thing, I guess.

Not really sure what would be good for Jager, and Sin Fin has an angel sword thing. Not sure if something we make would be stronger, since I don't think we even match most angels 1v1 yet.

Ryoko getting the axe would be pretty cool. Can't think of any of the other scrubs I'd be willing to pull a tooth for, though. Maybe make something for Plantbro when xhe finally arrancars up if they're even the weapon-wielding type.
>>
Is the guitar getting added to the pastebin?

Sorry, I just have a thing for pastebins.
>>
>>30072348
I'd say Kouta is worth it.

Friedhelm can go to the reject corner with Akira and Ryouichi.
>>
>>30072384
Maybe Kouta just looks underwhelming because his pastebin isn't up to date, but we'd be better off giving things to random arrancars.
>>
>>30072348
Keep in mind Risa's unique view of reality. I would say wait until you get the items, assuming they are gotten, before you consider who to assign them out to
>>30072369
Sure. I just have to think if I want to keep it with the Risa bin or make a new one for stuff.
>>
>>30072406
Kouta is one of the two scrubs I have absolute trust in.

Akira is too busy being magic 8 ball
I don't think things will ever be right between us and Ryouichi
Friedhelm is wannabe Nazi


and I'm sure Ryoko prefers punching stuff


does Jaeger know how to play guitar?

>>30072416
I think their worthy of their own pastebin
>>
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>>30071946
The Ultimate Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SSR6ZzjDZ94
>>
>>30072406
Except Kouta has shown his loyalty, where arrancars are mostly backstabby bastards. We show them the benefits of loyalty, they remember who top dog is, especially if we show the arrancar we can take it back.
>>
>>30072416
If you make a new pastebin for divine items, be sure to put a note in the pastebin of whoever possesses that item. Like, the items paste will have the full stats and whatnot for the guitar with a little note saying that Risa has it, and then Risa's paste will have a little note saying she has the guitar.
>>
>>30072533
Done and done.
>>
>>30072729
I'd put the owner after the name. Like this

>Idemque (Risa): A guitar which shall play the song which ends the sky.

Hell, you might wanna add SF's angel sword thing to the paste.

>??? (Sin-Fin): A sword which appears to be angelic in nature. Using it causes her arm to crack, leaking unknown energies. Powers unknown.
>>
>>30072769
Easy enough to modify.
>>
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Going to bed. Goodnight
>>
>>30072290

whip confirmed for giving to Kouta to use on the condition outside of combat, he uses it to keep his brother in line and away from Nazi-ism...


sage for dead thread
>>
.
>>
>>30072290
But Marcus is a plant isn't she? How can we not sympathise with our planty friend
>>
>>30077268
He aint made of wood though.
>>
>>30077015

I think we need to sit Friedhelm down for a serious talk, a serious talk about the Nazi.

No zanny antics, no responding to monologue as an aside. Perhaps we should do this on the day we are pretending to be a responsible adult...perhaps we can use our fobwatch power to accomplish it without getting distracted.

Straight forward talk, ask him why he is so taken with a philosophy generally associated with the most amoral regime of modern history and the terrors of fascism. Perhaps arrange to have him speak with a holocaust survivor.

The week of responsible adult Risa will have hilarious consequence, and I look forward to it if we actually do it.
>>
>>30078080
That doesn't actually sound entertaining or useful. If you want to call him a loser, then be straight about it, don't waste time on stupid shit.


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