Twitter: @HeroRenaI am a Hero. And yes, I am fully aware of the irony of that statement.I've forgotten things. A lot of things. Some of them I'm glad to forget - others I still haven't forgiven myself for not remembering. I'm good at killing people. Probably the only thing I'm good at, besides getting myself blind drunk. Apparently that's enough for me to get promoted to the top, or at least close to it. I have a Golden Shield clamped to my arm that does...stuff, and a bottle of Kong whisky that never really seems to run out.The Shield keeps me alive. The whisky keeps me from living.It's not a perfect setup, but it's the only one I've got.Anyway, that's done and over with. After a long day of being a hero, I went ahead and slept in my favorite alley. Hopefully I don't wake up forgetting about everything again.
WE HEROQUEST N...wait, what's this deja vu?
>>31217711This is liable to get weird real quick.
>>31217711>Chiaki is peacefully asleep, as if it's her first time to really sleep in ten thousand years or so.>But it's suddenly so noisy, that she can't help but wake up.Ghh...can't I get any decent sleep anymore?Somebody...somebody close the fucking window. I don't give a shit if the mutant cat bastard complains, I need to fucking sleep. I don't give a shit if it's the Prophet or whoever the fuck it is. Just...give me another hour or so.[1/2]
>>31217759Oh, OK. We'll come back later. Decu started early anyway.
>>31217759>The noise only gets louder. In fact, it gets deafening....Christ. What is this? Did Kyuubey suddenly have someone renovate the entire fucking building while I was asleep? Why am I hearing traffic? I'm supposed to be sleeping in my office in Headquarters.The fuck is going on?[2/3]
>>31217759Hey, I think she can hear us. Can she hear us?...who is she?
>>31217786>Chiaki looks around finally, her eyes open for the first time....Wait.WAIT.
>>31217786Im guessing you're hearing, us, whatever we are.I have some bad news.You're in a Quest Thread.
>>31217806Not very dignified there.
>>31217806Hey, we have a new victim to torment.I mean, a protagonist.
>>31217826It's a hot-dog car! Get something to eat.
>>31217826It's the QUALITY anime car! You're stuck in a shoestring budget Quest Thread.
>>31217811Glasses intact, bottle intact. There are worse ways to wake up, believe me.>>31217833Banana, it's a banana, anon.
>>31217833I dunno man. We've never needed to finf Pancakes here before.Check your phone, Hero.Lets see who you know here.
>>31217840Naaaah, thassa hot-dog. What kinda shit is that stuff on the top supposed to be if banana?
>>31217826WHERE THE FUCKING HELL AM I?!WHAT YEAR IS IT?!OH GOD. It's happened again. It's happened again!This is some bullshit! I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF FIXING THINGS! >>31217793Who the fucking hell are you, and why are you in my brain?! Are you a Culexus?! WHICH OFFICIO?!>>31217799...Thanks. I guess.>>31217800The hell is that?>>31217811Fuck you. If you're going to be a smartass like that, at least help me out here.>>31217821PINKY?!Shit. Shit. Where the hell am I? WHEN the hell am I?AND WHY AM I SLEEPING IN A FUCKING ALLEY HOLY SHIT.
>>31217826Go home Chiaki you are drunk and also a terrible drunk
>>31217806Look girl, if you're looking for an "authentic experience," I don't think slumming it out is the best way to do it. YMMV.
>>31217848Well, search your person for any hints as to your current situation. I doubt you wore that get-up to bed.
>>31217848You're a Hero now, probably. Check your phone for any info. Also take a swig from the bottle, gonna be a long day.
>>31217848You're in a different universe. You'll be back home soon.Go flirt with the lamia
>>31217826Morning Murderface; we should probably give you the skinny on some things.1: there is only one functioning magical girl left on this reality, she was betrayed by Quantum Bunny (QB) who was contracting magical girls then eating them for its own gain. This Girl, Magical Girl Sparkle, stopped him and is burdened with being the most powerful magic source here.Then there is the Hero Association & the Villains Association.
>>31217847It's a zebranana.>>31217848Shoo, get yourself together. You woke up in an ally, but nobody is trying to shoot you. Now, check the bottle, check your glasses and go find a public transport. Check the map there.
>>31217848What are you sleeping under anyway?
>>31217848Culexus? Officio? You speak riddles girl.Where's Rena? You should be Rena, you know.
>>31217848welcome to the first level of hell.
>>31217848>>>31217800 (You) #>The hell is that?The most horrible thing you can think of.You didnt piss off some gigantic floating woman or something did you?
>>31217848You're asleep in an alley because you're a raging alcoholic with low self-esteem and lower impulse control.Also... I'm sorry to say, but the world you have woken up in. It has no pancakes. Knowledge of their craft has been studiously suppressed by fanatics for generations. Nobody even remembers that they've forgotten about them.
>>31217840>Glasses intact, bottle intact. There are worse ways to wake up, believe me.>Someone is speaking from experience.
>>31217875>>31217848You are in the last unnamed city on earth, a stronghold after most of the stuff out there was turned to wasteland by the clash of super powered folk. To keep that shit in check and to turn a profit, someone figured out to trick all the powers into joining the Hero Association and Villain Association to reign in the activities to make them spectacle that the people of this city aren't depressed that the earth is a wasteland. Also merchandising. Sure, heroes and villains die by each other's hands sometime, but the collateral damage is less than it could be.
>>31217887Also, we may not all be entirely trustworthy.
>>31217906>>31217848Now, go explore and see if this reality warped to fit your existence into continuity like your home temporarily did with our usual protagonist, Chop chop.
>>31217915Businesd as usual, really.Check your phone, kid. It usually has answers
>>31217915I am. Trust me on this.
>>31217924>Check your phone, kid. It usually has answers...>Business as usual, really.Fits for this too.
>>31217915We are perfectly trustworthy. We will frequently tell you to make out with or attempt to grope attractive women.Now, tell us, Chiaki, do you like Lasangna?...also, the end of your first big cycle of failures in time travel are a work of fiction here. Puela Magi: Madoka Magica. 11- 13 episodes, really good, ends on a high note, but then in the movie Madoka Rebellion, that time line's Kyubee species sets off the chain of events that fuck you, and frankly you did nothing wrong.
>>31217840...Yeah. Got...got to think about the positives. Yeah.>>31217854I already did my time sleeping in fucking alleys! Christ!>>31217859I don't even know where the fuck these came from! It's either I sleep naked or in my costume!...Although this is pretty comfortable. Just a bit messy.Yeah, alright. Let's check what I got.>>31217864FUCK.No. No drinking. Not until I've figured out everything.>>31217875>>31217906Christ, what kind of fucked up timeline is this?QB? Kyuubey? Jesus, that bastard mutant cat's behind all this?!...Well, at least another Magical Girl got to him. Sucks for her, though.Hero Association...? Villains Association? Sounds like a bunch of dildos.>>31217915You don't have to fucking tell me that twice.Alright...let's see.I got a smartphone here. My zippo. Pack of smokes - ten sticks left.My Soul Gem, thank fuck. Looks alright. Don't think I need any grief seeds at the moment....WAIT.My journal.MY JOURNAL'S GONE!
Just assume it - and us - are a drug fuelled hallucination from... I don't know, overly sweet pancakes, and try to deal with it for the time being.We're disembodied magical girls. Probably. Yeah, let's go with that.
>>31217966Check for Sparkle in contacts in the cellIf you find that, call and tell everything about your condition or whatever
>>31217966Try stopping time and see if Pinky is there. Any familiar faces will do, eh?
>>31217966Awww. Did you write embarrassing poetry and all about your crushes in it?
Chiaki, just want to say its nice getting the chance to talk with you directly. When you get home you just need to believe in yourself and trust your friends. If there is one thing learned from all your backstory; it's that you can't go it alone. Cue Kyokou and Blueberry in on the truth and ask for their help. Talk to Midori about it, especially about Faust/Pinky.Good luck, we believe in you and are trying to guide you to victory, happiness, the golden weapons, and a watermelon colored three way between you, Midorin, and Wendy.
>>31217966Did your soul gem always look like a hat?
>>31217966Journal should be in the shield inventory.Only problem is you cant get it just now because its part of your MG outfit and you've got Renas hero morpher.
>>31217966Check the phone.Maybe Malal predicted all this SOMEHOW and left you EVEN MORE random password shit.
>>31217966Okay, we know someone with a thing for journals. No clue how this weird world jumping thing goes, but maybe it ended up with her? Okay so you have to find a woman name Queen of the World.Yeah I know, pretentious as shit. And she's a villain, but basically a pushover. If she doesn't have it she'll offer a path to finding it at least.
>>31217966Don't worry, we'll remember for you. We'll be your Warmaster's Log. Tell us when you want something important highlighted or dog eared. Say "Warmaster's Log" and drink Earl Gray Tea. Hot.Also, some heroes are good, some are dicks.Some villains are HUGE dicks, some are good folks.
>>31218004Try HELP on the password for the phone....
>>31218020Speaking of whichI never read MGNQ, is Chiaki a Knight Templar kind of person who'd kill villains just because they're villains?
>>31218020>Some villains are HUGE dicks
>>31217966Well it's not all bad might as well visit the hero organization to check things out.Also Rena from the manga you read or the one Kyouko read a while back is Warmaster
>>31218004Nah, she's busy being a cute undead abomination in the timeline where Risa is a protagonist.There are several, most of them don't end happily...well, they don't end happily for everyone else. Normally even in the throws of third or fourth death, Risa is laughing.Actually, when you get back, check with her, SHE might still be able to hear us.
>>31218026Actually, you want EMMA.Also, your best bet is probably Raindrops.Got a feeling you two might get on.>>31218032Actually, shes the devil.>>31218035Oh.., shit.Which Hero Quest universe is this?
>>31218032She'd kill people because they were trying to do painful things to her, mostly. Most of the other time she's fine with just maiming things at the kneecaps.
>>31218032Depends. Generally she's pretty tired of death, but cynical enough to kill when it's necessary, while damning herself internally all the while. At least, that's how she was when I quit reading. Closest to the whole noir thing the quest actually manages to be.
>>31218049>Which Hero Quest universe is this?I don't think it matters too muchThe only major difference between the two is Rena herself, who is absent
>>31218035Chiaki, find this woman. She is the best at making hot coffee and you need it to sober up right now. She is the S Class hero Caffornicator. Her powers involve Coffee Generation, Super Speed, granting and taking the speed of others, and being attracted to everything with a pulse...and some things that don't have one.
>>31218032On one hand, she really doesn't mind shooting people's kneecaps off, but she still treats (most)civvies as off-limits.No qualms about beating people unconcious, though.Killing people? Yeah, she's done that a lot. Generally less profitable, though. Paperwork is a bitch.
>>31218062Is Rena just absent or temporarily replaced in the timeline? Because if she's temporarily nonexistent than this reality lacks a light of hope, and BenBen won't have freckles.
>>31218062You mean aside from the fact that evil Renas version is quadruple fucked sideways and nearly everybody is dead?
>>31218082Temporarily absent. Read the other crossover quest.
>>31218082Well, everybody knew Rena is Warmaster, so its likely the same for Chiaki.Oh, yeah. Rena did a pretty good job in your abscence Murderface. Nobody died. Try to return the favor, woidya?
>>31218084Yeah, but that's pretty much it
>>31218096http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/31202307/it would have been nice if you had linked it
>>31218100Consider the following:How'd it get that way?
>>31218096So where Hollow Quest Redux and Peter Parker Quest just swapped protagonists, Hero Quest and Magical Girl Noir Quest swapped protagonists AND made their realities compensate to fold them into continuity.Rather convenient. You have no idea, Chiaki, how much the first set screwed with Peter Parker/Spider-manSay, would you prefer we call you Chiaki, Matsuda-San, Warmaster Matsuda, or Homuhomu?
>>31218115What do you mean?
>>31218125Of course we will call her Homu-chan. that's what we always call her.
>>31217995It's always been this way, what are you talking about?>>31217986...No. It's where I write down all the important things I'm supposed to remember. So I don't forget anymore.>>31217982Jesus Christ, no. Not yet. I'm not that stupid.>>31217981>>31218004Yeah...yeah, I probably should. Checking thae phone should help.Right, there are no phone numbers in the contacts list. ...Guess I'm just as much of a loser here like I was back in Mitakihara.There's something written in the note app, though. Just one word, Shield.Huh, what about my Shield? >Chiaki concentrates, tries to transform. Her costume doesn't appear, but her Shield does.....IT'S GOLD.WHY IS IT GOLD.IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE GOLD.WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!>>31218063...Wow. That sounds just as bad as Kharn. No thanks. The hot coffee thing, though...I probably need a cup or two right now. Definitely staying away from whisky - I doubt it'd help any, even though it's looking really tempting right at the moment...>>31218044Should I? They sound like...well, you know. Not gonna say it, but I'm suspicious about people who call themselves that.
>>31217966>QB? Kyuubey? Jesus, that bastard mutant cat's behind all this?!He dead, though. Some magical girl done ate his soul.Dont worry, though, she got better. Got her act together, laid a magical girl egg, and has herself a family now.
>>31218130A true evil.
>>31218129Hopefully I'm wrong.Hopefully nothing.
>>31218144TURN THE SHIELDWHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?
>>31218144Well, you can always check out the Villain Association instead. I mean, it's gotta be some kinda reverse psychology thing, real villains wouldn't advertise it, right?
>>31218144>It's always been this way, what are you talking about?Just checking!I mean, most other people's soul gems were those oval things.Also, since you've got your phone open you should see if there's the Officio website or something, Kyubey said that they had one, right? You can probably get some reassurance that this is totally a different world or something.
>>31218144>It's where I write down all the important things I'm supposed to remember. So I don't forget anymore.You might want to find Queen of the World. She has one of those.
>>31218144Everything is gonna be okay, get out of the Alley, nothing ventured, nothing gained.Coincidently. Find pancakes or Lasangna. Also find Bridgette or Sparkle.
Shit, guys, Chiaki can see what images we post! Everyone with Midori or Midori x Chiaki art get ready to dump. And throw some Wendy in there too.Everyone get your Hat-chan and Clonemanga folders primed...I don't have any here on my phone so it's up to all of you to make our Warmaster blush!
>>31218144Well you need to go SOMEWHERE, I guess you could just go sightseeing instead.
>>31218125>Rather convenient. You have no idea, Chiaki, how much the first set screwed with Peter Parker/Spider-manHey man, the spirit of heroism was upheld and there will be less drugs on the streets when Peter gets back.
>>31218207I was born ready for this.
>>31218146Probably not. Whatever the QB's are, they're localised disturbances. They organise, but they don't organise across dimensional boundaries unless one of you or Madoka take them with you.>>31218190It's either Sparkle or Raindrops. Sparkle is a sort-of-Madoka. Far enough removed that she's potentially neutral.Something tells me the one we want today is Raindrops.
>>31218207>Shit, guys, Chiaki can see what images we post! Everyone with Midori or Midori x Chiaki art get ready to dump. And throw some Wendy in there too.I don't care about Chiaki but i certainly wouldn't complain.
>>31218144Just a warning don't be too surprised if people recognise you, there is a good chance that you have some collectable merchandise out in this reality.
>>31218219True, Risa did a literal truckload of Cocaine, and take down Hydroman.You know we can only imagine the crazy shit that the Risa in Gorefather and Gorechild did when she was still alive.
>>31218234>Something tells me the one we want today is Raindrops.That might even lead us to Queen, depending on where we are in the timeline.
>>31218243Hey, mine too!
>>31218207Ehehehahahaahaha, I knew I saved this for a reason.
>>31218144You are going to die a miserable failure, in despair, with everyone you ever knew or care about dead because of your incompetence.
>>31218258Where'd this come from?
>>31218269decu drew it a week or two back
>>31218144Use the smartphone to check the Twitter on that NECO... thing.I'm out of my depth in this case, since the only thing I know of MGQN is the purty pictures and the fourth wall story use of twitter.
>>31218260>so, business as usual
>>31218269Not that guy, but from Decu's twitter.
>>31218258That Mami makes me laugh every time.
>>31218260Hey, no need to make her more upset! Besides it's totally more amusing if she does it to herself based on what new information she happily gleams from us. That way we can enjoy suffering without having to be a bag of dildos.Or we could steer her for success and bask in her earned exaltation.Either is good.
>>31218253>HydromanI don't know how bad he was there, but there is a chance that Peter will be able to put him in a aquarium now. It's like, a free friend. A nice, docile new friend that talks to himself occasionally. Shit man, everything was made better. Wonder how much good Chiaki can do here.
>>31218288She takes pride in her hobbies.
Inb4 the Hero Quest version of Chiaki is just Murder Mayumi, and everyone just expects her to be a psychotic lesbian psudo-rapist.
>>31218302Fucking love petplay.
>>31218292...I don't think he'll be docile when he reconstitutes. He'll be Risa grade crazy. Hey Chiaki, back me up here, a a super villain who can become and control water should not be Risa Grade Crazy. Am I right?
>>31218288>>31218303A girl has to enjoy what she does, right?
>>31218361I SEE YOU THERE MR. DILDOES
>>31218368of course when this is archived you'll look like a crazy man.And no-one will care either way since no-one ever reads anything but the decu posts in the archives anyway.
>>31218144Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Get out of the alley and wander around. Hopefully, we'll run into some who can make some sense out of this mess.
Ugh, just watch.Cosplay Lass/Dark Witch C-Lass will have turned into a Daemon thanks to alt golem kitty. Chiaki is going to have to put her down. What a shame.A Daemon is this reality's equivalent of your Witches or Wraiths, pending where you are in your own history.
>>31218379Except that deleted posts are shown on the Foolz archive.
>>31218258>>31218361Is that Mami? Isn't she, like, straight in MGNQverse?
>>31218404What's happening here ?Was this reality ravaged so hard people are randomly being swapped ?
>>31218407HAHAHAHAHAHSHSHSHAHAHHAHHAHAHSHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHZHAHAHSHSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!Oh, bless you anon. Bless you.
>>31218407Nobody's confirmed or denied what goes on in her 'interrogation' room, if that's what you're asking.
>>31218407Magical girls are never straight even when they are.
>>31218407Mami does what she wants to whoever she wants, is always in control of your mind and heart, and you love her for it.
>>31218171...Yeah, nah. Think I'll check out the Hero Association first. Even if they sound like dildos, they sound like the guys in charge. You get all the information you need from the people in charge.>>31218168Got to be fucking kidding me right here....Maybe later. I'm curious too.>>31218181Yeah, how about no? I know I forget things, but that's just asking for trouble. Only an idiot would do that without thinking.>>31218182>>31218190Okay. Those are four names.Caffornicator, Queen of the World, Bridgette, or Sparkle. I'll keep those in mind. If the Hero place doesn't help, I'll ask around for them....Okay, so where do I start...probably should start asking for directions, or something. Hero Association, that's not a place someone here can't know about, right?>Chiaki makes to leave her alley, when--"STOP! STOP THIEF!">An elderly woman shrieks, her cry cutting through the cold morning air. Chiaki stops in time just to see a robber in a mask fly past her, a purse in his hands."HE STOLE MY PURSE! STOP HIM! SOMEONE! ANYONE!"...Oh. It's a robbery.>The elderly woman gasps as she stops in front of Chiaki, before turning to her and begging for help."Please! My medicine's in there! I can't afford to buy any more!"I'm a Magical Girl, not a cop. I don't need to get involved....
Because somebody asked, I guess
>>31218420Fall out from yesterday. April First.Back in Europe Aprik was the start of the new year as te start of spring rebirth. Then some king or church made the new year mid winter, and those who stuck to April were canal led April Fools. Now it's a day for pranks.
>>31218444Because someone asked... what?
>>31218443You should probably help. Fuck the police
>>31218444And then I forget my image...
>>31218443>I'm a Magical Girl, not a cop. I don't need to get involved....Throw a rock.At the thief, at the woman. Whatever, I'm not fussy.
>>31218443>I don't need to get involved....Just kneecap the poor schmuck.You need to figure out what kind of armory you're working with inside this newfangled shield anyway, right? Better to know now than not knowing later.
>>31218443with great power comes great responsibilitywhat if wendy or midori get shot by this robber lateryou'll wish you hadn't kept doing amateur wrestling instead of helping!
>>31218443If you're a hero in this universe, they might take away your points for that one.
>>31218443NO GET INVOLVED THOUGH
>>31218443Karma is a bitch and if you don't help her, your chances of your and or your friends of being fucked over will increase (more then usual)Help the old lady
>>31218461>>31218443Throw a handgun at him as you stumble by
>>31218443You know, attracting attention by helping an old lady will get your answers faster than just wandering around. Maybe other heroes will show up or something. Either way you can bet that it's going to be taken on film, which is good right now.Also you'll get paid.
>>31218443And you are a warmaster as wellACT THE PART
>>31218443Do it. This place runs on good karma. Help people and things will happen. Believe that.And what would Mami or Midori say right now if you let this woman lose her medicine?
>>31218466>>what if wendy or midori get shot by this robber laterWhoa, whoa.PPQ already had its crossover, thank you very much.
>>31218443The hero association will find you if you stop that robbed. This is a good thing.
>>31218443Help her you dildo.You are completely lost in another world. Helping old ladies will probably help you get a good reputation with the hero association.
>>31218443Throw a rock at the robber. Trust me on this. Throwing rocks in this reality has a strange effect on things.
>>31218443Hey.Hey, Chiaki, Hey.What would Mami Do.
>>31218443>Ask the old lady "why don't you own a gun?"
>>31218420THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU INTRODUCE PARALLEL UNIVERSES TO THINGS, LARRO.
>>31218443But not being a cop means you get to ignore things like 'due process' and 'non-lethal force'Just shoot him and walk away.
>>31218443Seriously? People actually wear masks like that in broad daylight?
>>31218505>>31218515better yet. GIVE the old lady a gun, and let her solve her own problems.
>>31218443Chiaki, Murderface, Homura, Compadre, you're seriously listening to the voices in your head and even taking them on face value. Are you sure you're alright?Anyway, ignore the robber.
>>31218522Magical Girl NRA.
>>31218519Villains in the Hero Quest universe take their jobs seriously.They've even got their own association
>>31218443You're allowed to kneecap him.
>>31218529Magical Girl NTR
>>31218522This seems like a good idea, we have plenty to spare. We can make a real difference while we're in this world!
>>31218522and thus that day was born a whole new heroGrandma Guns
>>31218531What on earth could be worth getting shot by vigilantes? I don't read HQ, alas, even with Larro's pretty pictures.
>>31218443If you stop that criminal, you could get in good with the Hero Association. They have all sorts of members who are accomplished super scientists and/or magicians. If there's anybody who could help your situation right now, it'd be them.Besides, stopping crime gets you cash. If you're gonna be here for a while, there's no sense in spending It on the streets or on an empty stomach.
>>31218443Help the old lady.
>>31218443Do it. The Hero Association is always looking for recruits and records all and any acts of heroism, so they'll contact you if you do something cool and heroic.
>>31218546Shes the Gunnma. Real name alita
>>31218443Ask the lady for directions to Hero Place and wish her good luck with the thief.
>>31218543Magical Girl DTR
>>31218443Help the lady, imagine if it was our kong getting stolen.
>>31218522Yes we give her a gun.
>>31218550the merchandising money is apparently pretty sick.
>>31218584Magical Girl MMA
>>31218592The last time that happened we got an egg
>>31218584Magical Girl Doutonbori Robos?
>>31218614Magical Girl D-T-R
>>31218592Magical Girl Mixed Martial Arts competition? Hello exploitable means of separating nerds from tier dollars...so that I and the independent contractor cosplayers/fighters/costumers can put the money in our own pocket.
>>31218636Magical Girl DDR
>>31218661Magical Girl DMV
>>31218665Magical Girl DTs
>>31218665Magical Girl SVU
>>31218443stop the burglary.It will get you into the hero's graces, if they're watching.
>>31218688Magical Girl NHL
>>31218454What, no. I'm-->>31218470I don't think-->>31218474That's insane. I don't-->>31218476You've got a point there, but-->>31218481>>31218491That's the stupidest thing I ever heard-->>31218503...Fuck.Fine.Whatever.>Chiaki reaches into her shield, careful not to accidentally turn it too much.>She grabs the first thing that she touches, and flings it at the retreating robber.>She throws it with enough force that it blurs, and smacks against the back of the robber's head with tremendous force that he's immediately knocked down and out from the impact.Huh. I wasn't expecting that to work at all. Neat.Wait, what did I throw? It felt kind of rubbery. I don't own any rubber guns or anything. I was expecting a grenade, or a throwing knife, or even a gun.[1/2]
>>31218697Magical Girl NBA
>>31218708Magical Girl MBA
>>31218705>>31218708This proves it. You are the BBALL master in this universe. Use your powers wisely, and never chaos dunk
>>31218708Magical Girl NAMBLA
>>31218705I bet its a dildobecause you're a dildo nowsymbolic, eh?
>>31218705Good work!Chiaki Matsuda:Status: Told
>>31218705it was a dildo.or a rock.
>>31218722Time to shut up and Jam, Warmaster.
>>31218665Magical Girl DMZ
>>31218722>never chaos dunkLame
>>31218705You just threw a dildo. Here in this world you are called Dildoface.
>>31218705>Chiaki runs up to the now unconscious robber. A blood pooling around his head.>The projectile she used is resting on the back of his neck.It's...it's a rubber penis? What? I don't remember keeping joke stuff in my Shield. Eh, whatever.>She recovers the handbag and gives it back to the old lady."Oh, thank you! Thank you so much! You know, dear, you're not really as bad as they say they are! Maybe you just need to change the name they gave you, get a nicer-sounding one!"My name? Does she mean Murderface? I'm Chiaki now, though, so....>The old woman continues to thank her before going away, not really listening....You're welcome, I guess.[2/3]
>>31218742A rubbery rock?
>>31218754Magical Girl TNT
>>31218708>Magical Girl NBAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxD0MRmXypE
>>31218705Good job, you probably gave him brain injuries for stealing the medicine that he needed for his sick daughter.
>>31218761>>31218734So, we've found why you drink.
>>31218550>What on earth could be worth getting shot by vigilantes?Big money. Most heroes dont kill, though, since you get paid for everything from besting a villain in battle to going on a dinner date with them and sharing a bed.One hero even got paid for hair-molesting a villain.
>>31218783A job well done
>>31218776Magical Girl TMZ...wait...that's just NECO
>>31218774You know, I don't recall the Heroes or Villains of Renaverse ever much interacting with the plebes before...
>>31218761>>31218774I am telling you, you are called Dildoface here.
>>31218461You don't need to be super to stop a thief. Good thinking.Drop kick him in the head.
>>31218775It's spelled with a C
>>31218815...Spine Ravager did plenty of "interacting" with the plebes
>>31218790So, wait, that sounds abusable. Villains get big money for doing evil things, heroes get big money for stopping them through *means* and *ways*.I'm surprised enterprising heros don't team up to share the payoff money with villains just so they can take them in easily."Money-man", the hero who stops villains in their tracks by simply giving them half of what he earns by stopping them.
>>31218822Rocc? You dont even make sense sir
>>31218815Plebs interaction usually consists of running away whenever they see either of them.
>>31218822Rcck? That's highly improbable.
>>31218774>It's...it's a rubber penis? What? I don't remember keeping joke stuff in my Shield. So innocent!
>>31218829Well... Rena DID conspire with Bridgette over her "abduction" but that was so she could get her Hero rank down. And she was eventually back to rank S regardless.
>>31218845Chiaki is Best Girl
>>31218829Hmmm...maybe someone already has that going. The Money Man hero and the villain BRIBABLE MAN
>>31218774Magical girl Dildoes.
>>31218829They sort of do abuse it all the time. Rena got most of her money by simly being friends with a villain and Caffornicator defeats them through one-night stands if they let her.
>>31218813Magical Girl PHD
>>31218829As long as people keep watching and buying merchandise, the Assosciations don't particuarly care.
>>31218829Well, Rena turned into an S-rank millionaire by playing Mario Kart and going shopping with a villain.
>>31218774>As Chiaki is standing around wondering just what happened, a flying TV comes out of nowhere with a wad of dosh."Greetings, A-Class Hero with the official designation DILDO EMPEROR. Here is your reward for stopping a robbery in progress - $1000. Don't spend it all on one place, now!">Chiaki takes the money and puts it in her inventory....What. Dildo Emperor?...Is that what my hero name is? DILDO EMPEROR?Why am I called that? I don't have anything remotely to do with dildoes? I don't see any dildoes around, only a rubber dick that I somehow got from my Shield!Jesus this is one fucked up timeline I got dragged into.
>>31218815Monster Matriarch impaled a bunch of bank security once.
>>31218863Caffinator is responsible for the little deaths of many heroes and villains alike.
>>31218882>Jesus this is one fucked up timeline I got dragged into.I dunno. It seems like a definate improvement on the old one.
>>31218882that is a fantastic namethank you deculture
>>31218882see if you can get a name change.if you're going to be here, might as well change your name to something better.
>>31218872Hey, now, she also used her amazing cleaning skills and inability to comprehend lesbians to defeat villains, too.
>>31218882Go to the association and request a name change.You might want to steer clear of Caffornicator now, though she won't need your help vibrating.
>>31218882EMBRACE ITYOU ARE THE DILDO
>>31218882Chiaki, we need to talk. You see s rubber penis is called a Dildo.When someone acts like a rubber penis, they a called a dildo. When a situation is like a rubber penis, that situation is dildoes.Dildoes are rubber penises. Usually they are used for recreation.Also, apparently you are their emperor.
>>31218882Blame yourself for hating fun and wearing watches. Follow the drone, it should lead you back to the Association.
>>31218909WEARING A WATCH
>>31218459I'M NOT SEEING ANIMATED HUMPING, HAT-CHON
Oh god, Caffornicator is going to have a field day with this one.
>>31218882Oh and remember you are being televised. Comes with being a hero or villain.
since this is the first thread I'm awake to read I just want to say you'r awesome and keep on rocking. also is there a list of all your quests/ pictures?
>>31218908>Go to the association...wait. What else is in the shield.Is it seriously just all literal dildoes?Going to the Hero Association sounds OK, but I was kinda hoping to just charge in there and shoot "the man behind the curtain".
>>31218882Change your name to Captain America.
>>31218918WITH CLOCK HANDS REPLACED BY MINIATURE DILDOS
>>31218942There is no man behind the curtain, just more money.
>>31218956Each miniature dildo is wearing an even smaller watch!
>>31218964So how many hands does that make when the limit of dildoes goes to infinite?
>>31218882Consider this: there's mechandise (films, action figures, games, books, dakimakura, postcards, the works) celebrating you as the DILDO EMPEROR.How does that make you feel?
>>31218942That would probably lead to a promotion and more money. The Boss is weird.
>>31218979Dear god, Chiaki brand dildos are the Bad Dragon of Hero Quest.I bet they have some with villain names too, like The Monster or The Spine Ravager.
>>31218980So, what you're saying is, it's a plan with no drawbacks?
>>31218882go meet some of the other heroes or villains.maybe one of them knows portals or some shit.
>>31218882Well, at least you're a high ranking dildo. That's gotta count for something, right?
>>31218978To many, but it is a magical dildo watch, so it can get recursively deep.
>>31218996I wonder what her CCG deck plays like?
>>31218996The Kneecapper. Don't ask why it's called that.
>>31219009It is a fractal; no matter how much you zoom in, there's no end.
>>31219009Two.Of course, it is always the same pair of hands/dildoes that fuck everything up.
>>31219017It probably plays like dildoes.
>>31218882Wait, not even Dildo Empress?
>>31218882Take the cash and ask the giant TV thing to fill you in on what's happening.Maybe even where you can find Sparkle.Also, you should know everything you do is televised.EVERYTHING.
>>31219042That was brought up already.>>31218938
>>31219017You gotta strike deep and hard to bring the game to its climax quickly or else you're just limply flopping around uselessly for the whole match.
>>31219052an appropriate analogy for MGNQ, really.
>>31218903 >>31218908 >>31218909Of fucking course I'll get a name change. DILDO EMPEROR is such grade A bullshit. I can't believe someone had the balls to give me that kind of name.>>31218913Christ, stop it with the bullshit. Everyone knows a 'Dildo' means a stupid idiot. It's Officio slang, yeah, but that's what it means.And I am not their Emperor. Watch-wearing one, sure, but that's all I'm giving.>>31218938That's so stupid I'm not going to believe it.>>31219000Yeah. Yeah, okay. I will.But I gotta arm myself first. I can't keep throwing rubber dicks at everyone.>Chiaki starts to cycle her shield for a weapon.>Every time it comes up dildoes.No. No way. It's just...no.This has got to be the worst joke ever.>>31218979AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA[1/2]
>>31219073>Everyone knows a 'Dildo' means a stupid idiot.Such innocence! This is adorable.
>>31219073>Unlimited Dildo WorksCool.
Okay so like how much would an authentic dildo emperor dildo be worth? Because if you're using them as ranged weaponry theres gotta be a lot out there.Also a dildo is a rubber penis. It had the name first.
>>31218979Also hentai mangas and movies.
>>31219073Hey, at least you get some serious dosh from all those dildos that have your brand name on them.Actually, the cash goes to the HA, and then a part of it to you.
>>31219073>Ax112Oh god. I just realized...>>31217826>>31217833>It's a hot-dog car!>>31217840>Banana, it's a banana, anon....It was a dildomobile all along.
>>31219073Now that is an impressive variety of dildoes, truly you are their Emperor.
>>31219116>We have a dildomobile>>31219073Quick, get in the dildomobile and ride around town. You'll probably find more of your stuff in there.
>>31217826>>31219116go retrieve your car. your dildo chariot.
>>31219129>>31219130Guys. It's clearly a dongcopter
>>31219105Jade Revolver probably has a whole box of them.
>>31219140something akin to this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zbnDr_IbdIU
>>31219147Nah, if it were Rena brand dildos, then she'd have those.She probably uses DE dildos as ammunition, though.
If she doesn't stop being this cute and innocent, my delusions are going to just go completely out of control and I really won't be able to stop imagining Midori doing scandalous things to her
>>31219167This is a problem how?Embrace it Hat.
>>31219161JR is a hero fangirl in general, Rena is just her idol amongst them. If they were Rena brand dildos, she would have a closet shrine full of them
>>31219161Rena Brand dildos are magical.They never fit.
>>31219147Jade Revolver is a pure maiden and you're not fit holding hands with her, anon.She's also like 14 or something, I think.
>>31219213She writes shipping hero fanfiction, she may be technically a maiden, but pure she is not.
>>31219213She tried making Rena nude.
>>31219199But they rock your world, every time.Bridgette has a box of them that she uses while she cries
>>31219073....Alright. I'm calm. Deep breaths. Yeah. Calm. Cool as a grass snake.>>31219116What? What are you talking about?>>31219120Shut up. Shut up about the rubber dicks.>>31219129>>31219130NO.I'll just fucking walk! Wherever this Hero Association is, I'm gonna have my hero name changed. Then I'll get a gun and shoot the kneecaps off of the dildo that gave me this name!>Chiaki follows the drone. It's a long way, but she manages to get to the Hero Association.Inside, she bumps into a rather nice-looking lady smiling rather lewdly."Heyyy there, Dildo Emperor. You look tired. Wanna take a...hee hee...load off?"Who's this bitch? Caffeine...fucker, or something? Caffornicator?>Caffornicator frowns, but grins again."Watch it, Dildo Emperor. I'm kinda S-Class, you know. I'm not even supposed to be mingling with lower-level people.">She giggles, before stepping forward, getting right into Chiaki's personal space. "But that's okay. What say we spend some time back in the S-Class rumpus room, huh?"...Yo, this bitch is grabbing my ass now.
>>31219232To be honest, everyone tried that.
>>31219213Youre the one who said she uses them, I just said she collects them.Besides, what >>31219223 said. She is your typical fanfiction.net user, pure is the last word I would use to describe her.
>>31219213>She's also like 14 or something, I think.Supervillain, she can get as many dildos as she wants.
>>31219238Rumpus room? That sounds fun! Like a bouncy castle or ball pool.
>>31219238Embrace it. She has no game whatsoever.
>>31219238Hit her with a dildo.
>>31219238do you LIKE the assgrab?
>>31219238destroy her orifices with your mightiest dil-rubber dicks
>>31219238Fucking grab HER ass. Nobody fondles you like that, establish dominance. What the fuck happened to you?
>>31219238Brush her off. You're spoken for, several times over. Who knows what her angle is.
>>31219238Give her a penis and tell her to go fuck herself.
>>31219238Grab her ass right back, hard, and twist until she lets go in pain. It's the only way she learns.
>>31219238Punch her in the stupid face. Chiaki's butt has already been claimed
>>31219238She just wants dildo, humor her and hit her with it
>>31219073Ha, one of those is actually a watch wearing dildo.
>>31219238We've no time for this hussy, push her aside and continue.
>>31219238Counter with your own rump-grab, then reject her on terms of poor butteryness. That's probably going to hurt her more than any bullet wound.
>>31219238>...Yo, this bitch is grabbing my ass now.Grab her ass back.
>>31219238HuhI don't remember CF being so arrogant or aggressive
>>31219238Tell her you're taken, and not by the goddamn rubber dicks.
>>31219238Shield to the face.Then Shield to the kneecaps.Your shield is about the only thing that isn't dildoes if you haven't noticed.
>>31219246Excuse me, but you're referring to orb pits and aether keeps, right?
>>31219282This just may be how she acts around all the other dildo themed heroes. They're stepping into her territory.
>>31219282this is anti-rena's universe
>>31219282Did you forget when she was rubbing all up on Cynthia's hip/other places? Or how she dragged Rena off to a darkened room and locked the door.Anyway,>>31219238Kick her in the groin.
>>31219238Grab her ass back.
>>31219293Nah, Forny is a villain there.
>>31219238Give her the Dildo in her face at roughly two-thirds the speed of sound.
>>31219238Pull a large rubber dick out of the shield, hand it to her, and tell her to go fuck herself.>>31219282She was always pretty forward in her advances, but this does seem somewhat less nice than usual.
>>31219238Grab her ass right back, make scathing criticisms about its boniness and lack of body.
>>31219299We're in the Hero Association.This is the timeline where everyone's a dildo.
>>31218361>Box o "S"mumi why
>>31219282Well Rena never interacted with her before she was S-class Hero herself.
...Unlimited Dildo Works
>>31219238Just grab back, but harder. She is used to going on the offensive, so it'll throw her off guard.
>>31219301Not fast enough, that's Caffornicator you're talking about.
>>31219294>Did you forget when she was rubbing all up on Cynthia's hip/other places?No, but hip rubbing and ass grabbing are different things
>>31219267Forgive my lack of MGNQ knowledge, but doesn't Chiaki already sleep aroundlike some big ol lesbian slutbag
>>31219333Chiaki is a pure maiden, you take that back!
>>31219333You're thinking of Kharn, the previous warmaster.Chiaki is an innocent maiden in the early stages of a committed, monogamous relationship, with a lesbian who writes porn about a self-insert and a Chiaki-expy.
>>31219347Both their relationship and the girl in question are SUPER HEALTHY
>>31219327Caffo straight up dove her hand into where she thought Cynthia's crotch would be in an attempt to find her snakey bits.
>>31219333Nope, she's a chaste, spaghetti spewing dildo.
>>31219333 Not really. That was Kharn. Chiaki is having relationship issues due to amnesia, but she's not exactly loose, even with the Slaaneshi Hat influence.
>>31219356all the lamia porn i've seen and i still dont know where a snake's snakey bits are
>>31219356>Caffo and CynthiaBestest girls right there.
>>31219333Oddly enough, no. Despite the Waifu-ing, the total number of people Chiaki can recall sleeping with is... 3. Only one of those had an active sexual subtext, and that particular relationship is the victim of a period of amnesia.
>>31219362>>31219347>>31219340>>31219359>>31219359Huh, okay. I just thought she cheated on her girlfriend or something.
>>31219356So... Is her hole... Like... At the tip of her tail or something?
>>31219368I'm pretty sure its near the end of the tail
>>31219368Did you see that one doujin where "snake cloaca" picture comes from? That one's pretty clear on that
>>31219238Let it happen. It's how S-class heroes say hello.Don't forget to get some coffee.
>>31219356look MM++, caffo is a bit excitable but you should give her a chance.>>31219368snake cloaca.
>>31219368>>31219384Oh, you mean actual snake, shitDunno
>>31219375She cheated on her ex-girlfriend that she didn't really remember by kissing her new girlfriend full on the mouth (with tongue-!!!) and then her ex got all pissed off and murderous.
>>31219375That would be the aforementioned relationship issues caused by amnesia.Also, the previous girlfriend is sort of dead but not really or something.
>>31219369Second and third best you mean
>>31219400I will reiterate.Yandere. Worst. Fetish.
>>31219408It's not fair to include her, she'd automatically win.But yeah.
>>31219371Specifically, I'm thinking Iori, Midori and Wendy.Wendy and Chiaki had a relationship at one point. But Chiaki got the 'nesia, and Wendy apparently died at one point.Wendy made moves to reinitiate a relationship, Chiaki kinda appeared to go along with it... then she went on a date with Midori, whom she kissed, and pictures of said date and kiss got leaked onto the Internet.It's all kind of a mess, really.
>>31219410Eat a dick nigga.
>>31219375Prior to the quest start she had been in a relationship with Wendy though what with the short life expectancy and living on different continents, that seems to me to have been a 'we're together when we're together' sort of set-up. The amnesia combined with Wendy dying, coming back, going rogue and god knows what else somewhat ended that in effect if not explicitly.
>>31219408Ridah is pretty great, too.
>>31219410She's not EXACTLY yandere, not as such.Just...pissed off enough to switch sides and do her own thing while waiting things out. And trying not to go full crazy.
>>31219417I'm pretty sure she didn't sleep with Iori, did she? She was in the same bed as her but nothing actually sexual happened.Unless I'm remembering wrongly. The most was a "friends" relationship with Iori.No more fucking idols. No more idol fucking.
So, to summarize Chiaki's relationships, she was in love with a girl who became a god, then shit happened and she turned that girl into a demon instead, so that relationship tanked and the ex-girlfriend has some bad blood and lots of yonder tendencies over stuff Chiaki can't remember. Then she got into a relationship with Wendy, but Wendy died and Chiaki forgot. And then she had a clingy fangirl named Iori, but Chiaki didn't want anything to do with that despite some physical attraction and then Midori came along and Chiaki started reciprocating and then they went on a date after Wendy came back and Chiaki made some poorly worded promise and that's pretty much it!
>>31219443You mean idle fucking
>>31219443Nothing sexual there. She apparently slept with Wendy, but she doesn't remember it. She wasn't in any other relationships other than that, seeing as when asked, she couldn't remember having any sexual experience at all.
>>31219376not the very tip, no.it's most of the way back, though.Technically, it's where the "tail" begins, as most of the snake is actually "body" and not "tail."
>>31219440Actually it's been established that the kiss had nothing to do with why Wendy is doing things, it seems Wendy's mostly going along with the group because she wants to get her friends out of it. Except Pinky may be playing her a bit.
>>31219443The same applies for Midori. though. That just looks worse than it is because kisses happened that turned up on the internet.Oh, and Pinky. And technically Mami, though. (Which is to say, Mami slept in Chiaki's bed. The fact that Chiaki was not present at the time is neither here nor there).
>>31219453It has been too long since i saw that pic. Post it more often hat-chan.
>>31219459I can't even begin to imagine the positions possible with that bit of information.
>>31219472Why won't you just save it?
>>31219333and despite ALL OF THIS, the total number of people Chiaki has actually fucked since the start of the quest is... zero.So... not actually ANY kind of lesbian slutbag, though dammit she's clearly trying.
>>31219478my favorite is the having sex with her on the couch while she is in the kitching making a sandwich position.It works while you are in the kitchen making her a sandwich too.
>>31219478her snake bits can stretch as long as she wants. she could be off doing villainous things while you lewd her snake bits
>>31219508>she could be off doing villainous things while you lewd her snake bitsWhat if... What if there were previous scenes with her where this was going on, but we just never made the connection?
>>31219508She also can be any monstergirl she wants. She likes being a spider, too.
>>31219488I just want Chiaki and Midori to stop tiptoeing around each other, dammit. I'm waiting for the day that Midori finally snaps, throws Chiaki over her shoulder, and runs for the nearest bedroom
>>31219530I'm ok with this. >>31219534Okay, I ALSO don't know where a spider's spidey parts are
>>31219530it could easily have been happening in the scene after caffornicator dissapeared with blood.
>>31219542And you don't want to.
>>31219536I agree with this. Midori the secret Dom.
>>31219238Give her a dildo and tell her to go fuck herself.
>>31219255...No. I don't. She is in my territorial bubble.>>31219261You know what? No. THat's going to send the entirely wrong signal, and I can tell for once.>>31219249 >>31219301 >>31219303Yeah, okay, this is better.Hey."Yeeesss?"I don't like my ass being grabbed. GET FUCKED."But that's what I'm trying to do--">Chiaki pulls out a rubber object from her Shield and tries to knock Caffornicator's head off with it. But she misses!"Hah! Too slow, Dildo Emperor! You're only a Class A after all. You can't possibly be fast enough to hit m--">Chiaki throws. It is a solid, palpable hit that stops Caffornicator in her tracks."...Ow."[1/2]
>>31219536This comic is looking more and more likely thanks to this thread revealing Chiaki's innocence. Also I assume the next panel is where the rape happens and I can only pray that it becomes canon.
>>31219536We all are.
>>31219561Now tell her to go fuck herself with it!
>>31219561>The rubber object peels off, revealing a tearful Caffornicator, her nose bleeding. She starts to cry."W-why did you throw one at me?! I'm just trying t-to get to know other people better...! EVERYONE'S BUSY AND I'M SO LONELY! I JUST WANT SOMEONE TO CALL MY OWN, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"...Wow. Okay.Guess someone needs a drink more than I do around these parts.Are all Heroes like this? Because I'll just head over to the Villain Association if this is gonna be the kind of shit I have to put up with.
>>31219561>slapOh god the sound effect.
>>31219561is that a timed dildo?
>>31219580Nah, she's kind of a special caseTry to find Sparkle, she's one of the most sensible people you'll find
>>31219580What makes you think that the Villain Association is any better, Chiaki?
>>31219580Her ego certainly is as fragile as ever
>>31219580Caff-chan cant catch a break.Poor thing.
>>31219580Console her somehow.Jesus christ, poor caffornicator.You've never successfully picked anyone up.
>>31219580>Guess someone needs a drink more than I do around these parts.Take her out for drink? She's paying.
>>31219580Demand to see the manager
>>31219580Gee, for an ultra-slut Caffornicator is really sexless.We need to get that girl laid, she's got the female hysteria something fierce.
>>31219580Eh, give her some Kong and set her straight. Let her know that molestation is NOT the right way to develop a relationship. I mean, if she had just asked for some company in a non-sexual way, would you have had reason to refuse? You could have learned more about what the fuck's going on if she wasn't acting like a rapist.
>>31219580Offer her some Kong and find Sparkle.
>>31219587It's a Watch-Wearing Dildo.
>>31219580Tell her you have your own goddamn problems, like being the fucking DILDO EMPEROR and apparently also amnesia. Then apologise anyway you dildo.>>31219587It's a watch-wearing dildo.
>>31219580okay, fine caffornicator.If you promise no more assgrabs without consent, we can go out for a drink together.
>>31219580Tell her that you're sorry, you've been having a really bad morning. Invite her out for a drink and promise to be her wingman.And coach her on starting a relationship instead of being a pick up artist.
>>31219607No, she just wants some loving. We need to get her a girlfriend, but everyone just assumes she's a heartless emotionally barren whore
>>31219580Tell her that it's much easier to find somebody when you stop acting like a serial rapist.
Teach her to not be all up in people's space.Then go find Sparkle.
>>31219580Not everybody. You'd probably get along fine with Sparkle. She's also very level headed and knowledgeable about strange magic shit. You should go find her.
>>31219620I swear to god cynthia just work with us on this one, caffornicator REALLY needs a date
>>31219608ahahahahaha.Remind me to tell you how she met Midori sometime.
>>31219622I think she'd pair better with a dude, but yeah anything is fair game at this point.Caffornicator x Spine Ravager
Being Caffo is suffering.
>>31219580The villains are even worse.Let me let you in on a little secret here. This most powerful weapon in this timeline is friendship.
>>31219637I'd prefer her alive, thanks
>>31219637He's too nice for her.Caffo x Cynthia OTP.
>>31219638I think Caffornicator is such a massive "slut" because she has no one to call her own yet an over-active libido.If she just had a *reliable* source of consistent cuddles, bangs and kisses I'm sure she'd be far more... Err... "Presentable."
The right people to find are Raindrops, who is an ex-magical girl who may or may not have experience with this kind of thing and who is probably with Queen of the World, an immortal amnesiac.Failing that, find Monster Matriach and her Husband, who is a universal singularity.
>>31219602Except for Rider, but that was a while ago.
>>31219661caffoXcynthiaI'd be fine with that.Though, I don't actually know what cynthia is into.
>>31219580"Maybe if you stopped grabbing people's assess as a hello, they'd reconsider."Offer the alcohol, unless you're drinking it. Tis a waste.
>>31219634I was in the thread, I'm fairly certain Chiaki knows better at this point.Besides, that was 'interrogation', and this is not.
>>31219602I dunno. I think she's doin' gud with Cynthia.
>>31219580Take her out for a drink and some coffee. She could fill you in on what's going on.And for starters, she wouldn't care if you're from another timeline. So she's the most likely one to help you get home.Her and Sparkle. Though Sparkle had a magical girl egg recently, so she might be unavailable.
>>31219673She's into Rena
>>31219682Actually I was talking about the bit before that when Midori was the rapist.Rape is the universal currency.
>>31219683we need to put in the good word for her.I mean, you maimed that girl twice MM++, and she came back each time.That's some dedication and care to consider there.
>>31219663That, and too much caffeine in her. She's hyperactive, hyperhorny and probably hasn't slept in years.
>>31219686Hey. Hey Chiaki. Magical Girls here reproduce via hand holding and egg laying.
>>31219580Villans are worse.Get her a coffee, she'll be able to fill you in.Innuendo bingo here.
>>31219698Just point out how similar they are.Cynthia molested Rena, Caffo molested Cynthia. But deep down they care for the object of their molestation, and are a nice, caring person.
>>31219701[X] Trade Kong For Koffee
>>31219694Ah, that incident. That wasn't directed at Chiaki, though, like this was. Also contextually different, since Iori thought it was her friend.Maybe I'm being too analytical today, but I'm seeing enough differences that I disagree with you on the similarities.
>>31219702You shouldn't try to confuse her, she might believe you!
...I wonder.Is this place an alternate Mitakihara?
>>31219724But it's true! Now hold your true love's hand so you can have a baby!And try to be happy around it. They only hatch with happy emotions.
>>31219724Why wouldn't she, it's a proven fact here
I wonder where they sell guns in this place.
>>31219661I want to get her back together with Rider, myself
>>31219724Are you denying the existence of Benben Rosario von Sparklebutt, you heathen?
>>31219698Maybe she's just that desperate for 'human' contact that she'll put up with what is basically abuse just because it means someone is actually acknowledging her as a person.
>>31219735>>31219739>>31219756An unscrupulous and lewd girl might take advantage of her!
>>31219758maybe let's try to make it not abuse.
>>31219758I've found myself against the pairing because Cynthia is an abusive cunt. Caffo deserves better. Hell, anyone deserves better. I wouldn't wish Cynthia on evil Rena
>>31219775Spoiler that image!
At the rate we're going, this is gonna be one of those one-shots that lasts two or three threads, isn't it?
>>31219775It's all for naught if there's no mutual love, relax
>>31219783>>31219758So who *would* be good for Caffornicator?Shadow Man?
>>31219783hey, cynthia is quite an attractive piece of relationship you know.I need a girl who is adversarial to me, a rival ideally, but a dangerous snake thing works too.
>>31219783Cynthia's a literal monster, give her a break.She's not the worst possible candidate. They've just got to find a dynamic that works.>>31219796>So who *would* be good for Caffornicator?Spine Ravager
>>31219805I was under the impression he was gay.
but seriously though caffo is crying, that means you have to help her, chiaki.
>>31219796Omen or Rider.
>>31219783I feel that an abusive cunt might be a bit too strong.
>>31219816>you have to help heronce again, swap the Kong for the Coffee. It's win-win. Caffo gets blind drunk, you get a much needed pick-me-up.
>>31219816Lick her tears.They're pure caffeine.>>31219796Honestly I would find it endlessly amusing if Caffornicator got with a random schmuck.Like, not even someone with powers, just a normal dude she chanced upon at the scene of a fight.
>>31219814You cannot get any manlier than fucking a manSeriously, he dont need no pussy ass woman>>31219796Velocity raptor? He's so tiny and fast
>>31219814Chet Manlystache is Freddie Mercury levels of gay.
>>31219812That's actually a good idea.
Mantis Shrimp Man
>>31219596Yeah, okay. Sparkle. Name doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, though.>>31219597I don't know. Blind optimism, maybe? What do you want from me?>>31219602Yeah, okay, this makes sense.>>31219603Nah, No drinks, like I said. Until I know what's going on.>>31219620The fuck do I know about relationships?Hey.>Caffornicator shrinks as Chiaki moves closer."I-I said uncle already! D-don't hit me with any more of your dildoes! Please!">Chiaki wipes at Caffornicator's nose with a handkerchief.Sorry about that. I don't like it when people get all up in my grill.It's nothing personal, really. But if you want to get friends, you don't just grab their asses.>Caffornicator sniffs."B-but that book I was reading said that skinship was the best way to make connections..."...Yeah, no. You make friends, you treat people like people. Not meat."Alright...I'll try that."...Poor dildo. Really needs to get friends.Maybe we can get a drink later. I'll keep it in mind.First things first, though.>Chiaki asks Caffornicator where is the manager of the Association. Caffornicator tells her where, and soon Chiaki is standing in front of a huge computer monitor."Well, hello, Dildo Emperor. Can you be helped?"It's a big-ass TV with the mutant cat bastard's face in it.I should probably be shocked but I'm not anymore.
I don't actually follow Hero Rena, but maybe I will after this. Hearing you guys talk about it as fairly interesting, at any rate
>>31219834I won't hear you talk about Bruce Campbell that way.
>>31219796It's pretty obvious.The Dark Stranger.
>>31219855Request a Name Change, and access to a change in powers/equipment.Offer it as a rebranding to make yourself seem more kid friendly.
>>31219856You should, it's a really fun quest.
>>31219855>Yeah, okay. Sparkle. Name doesn't exactly fill me with confidence, though.Trust me on this one, she's a hardass, might be even moreso than you areBut right now you should try and get your nickname changed
>>31219855[x]Throw Dildo at Monitor.Come on Chiaki, you know you want to. Its such a familar feeling to hurt the dickbutt isnt it?
>>31219855tell it your name is awful, and ask if you were drunk when you got it
>>31219855Yeah, a name change first.Chiaki Matsuda.
>>31219855This computer is an asshole, any chance of having your name changed will only make things worse.Think Kyubey but as a bigger Dildo who doesn't take no as an answer.
>>31219855Ask if he knows QB. That fucker must be behind this somehow.Also ask who gave you the name. In case you see him.
>>31219856It's great fun.> http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hero%20Quest%20Rena
>>31219855Ask him how you got here and if he knows someone with dimensional powers.
>>31219876i like this
>>31219855Ask for a name change, your name is ridiculous.You should be called the Dildomancer or the Dildo Master really.
Will getting a name change really change what kind of weapons you use though?
>>31219855Show him who's boss! Demand a name change!
>>31219902Possibly maybe yes!
>>31219902We'll just go spend some cash to alter our arsenal. The association likely has the facilities.
>>31219855Chiaki, you just need to see it as psychological warfare.Everyon expects a bullet to the face and a handgun but just imagine the terrfied expression a second before your thrown rubber penis hits them in the face at Mach1.Imagine you would have to find such a opponent? Terrifying, isnt it?
>>31219902You know if this quest follows the same logic as Magical Girl Rena Quest that means she did something to earn those dildos and title.
>>31219924Do we even have any cash on us?
>>31219855Throw a steel bar at the thing.
>>31219902Someone is playing sillybuggers with HomuChiakiFace, and my whole list of probable candidates are various forms of Malaldoka.But the only person I can think of who's ever called us Dildoes is... well, us.
>>31219876This will work.
>>31219929Just earned some after stopping the thief.
>>31219927No that's what I'm saying. I doubt the name change will change the fact that she uses didoes as weapons, which is kind of hilarious.
>>31219940Fear the gentle ministrations of the Wand Massager?
>>31219855Okay, things you need to know about Big Boss.You can't win. If you attack him openly, he'll just say he admires your strength and promote you. If you beg for a name change, he'll say he loves your humility and promote you.And even if you do manage to get him to listen to you, you'll have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to get it done. You want a name change? 5 million bucks. Also the fee for changing the name brand of the dildos associated with you. And then there're the broadcasting rights, your fan club, the hate mail you'll receive, all that.More importantly, you got the name by doing something dildo-related. Considering how much dildos you have on you, it's not surprising. Maybe before you woke up you were a tricky dildo merchant who built a dildo empire.Anyway, you need to approach the guy professionally. Say how your name reflects badly on you, and how you want to net in more cash and funding for the association by doing a revamp of your personality.
>>31219986>You can't win. If you attack him openly, he'll just say he admires your strength and promote you. If you beg for a name change, he'll say he loves your humility and promote you.Promotions are not an issue though
>>31220012He'll come up with something. Something that's bad for us.
>>31220012Yeah, you're gonna be pretty much loaded before you finish your encounter with him
>>31219986Yeah the thing is they can't really call you Dildo Emperor if you stop slinging rubber and start shooting.
>>31219885>>31219986That's just stupid. No boss is like that. But I'll do that professional thing, it seems to work anyway.>>31219876Yeah, sure. Working on it.>>31219895...Yeah, no.>>31219880>>31219930Stop tempting me.>Chiaki clears her throat and starts to talk.Hey. Yeah, I'd like my hero name changed. It's...not what I want."Oh? Have you changed your mind all of a sudden? If memory serves me right, you personally asked for the appellation of DILDO EMPEROR. You even made sure to have it announced globally."...No. No, that's impossible. You never.YOU NEVER ASKED FOR THIS."I'm sorry, but what's done is done! The designation is a permanent one. It's already registered as your copyright and all the branding and merchandise has your name on it already. It can't be helped!"...Urgh. "Speaking of which, welcome to the S-Class! I admire your can-do attitude. Enjoy the promotion!"...What. What? Promotions don't work that way! HEY![1/2]
>>31220026I wonder...[X] "Override code: Homura, Akemi."
>>31220086[X] "Authorization code: NECO"
>>31220081We told you....
>>31220081We warned you
>>31220081I think this is an appropriate t reason to go drown your sorrows.
>>31220081And you didn't believe us... Poor deluded Chiaki, thinking that the world won't just give you money for free.
>>31220081Well, the nice route didn't work, so try the obnoxious route.Build a giant Dildo Fortress and get a Dildo Zeppelin.Shove dildoes into everyone's face until they can't stand it anymore.
>>31220081Just ignore the missions they give you, they'll have to demote you if you let your responsibilities as an S-class rot in unfinished hell.
>>31220081Find caffornicator, you could both do with a drink after today
>>31220081Ask what your old name used to be.>>31220131Help Caffo get a girl/boy/whateverfriend. That ought to distract you from the fact that you are permanently and irrevocably the God-Emperor of all Dildokind.
>>31220142S-Class dont get assignments outside of world-ending calamities.>>31219796>So who *would* be good for Caffornicator?Pinky.
>>31220162>>So who *would* be good for Caffornicator?>Pinky.thats just swapping one bitch for another.
>>31220162Pinky and NegaRena.
>>31220177I think Caffo could make it work. Shes obviously into biting, if her unwavering attempts to seduce Cynthia are any indication.
>>31220081>The giant monitor continues, as if not hearing a word Chiaki is saying."And as your first assignment, you are to apprehend one of our most notorious villains yet! We'll be sending them to our new Negative Zone holding facility, so that they will no longer pose a threat to us or the citizens under our protection!"..."What a coincidence! Two of them are active now, spreading evil and crime!">The Boss' face disappears, displaying instead moving images of Monster Maestro and Queen of the World.Yeah. SOME COINCIDENCE."Please choose, DILDO EMPEROR! The city's lives are at stake! You must choose one and defeat them for the good of the city!"Yeah, you know. If you just want me to kill someone, just say it out straight. Even Kyuubey had the decency to tell it to my face."Nonsense! There is no killing here! We will simply contain them inside a black hole, where they cannot be harmed and thus cannot harm anyone! But I suppose it can be compared to a death, hahaha!"This guy.
>>31220199holy fuck they're so cute
>>31220199As much as I want Chiaki to meet Monster Maestro, I think it needs to be Queenie.
>>31220199>Monster MaestroShe's a lesbian so she is right up your alley
>>31220199>hahaha!Boss is Decu.
>>31220199WE'LL TAKE BOTH OF THEM ON.I can't decide.
>>31220199You know, I guess in a world without Rena, Queen of the World and Monster Maestro get a little crazy and are really dangerous/harmful to civilians.I'm going to say you need to bring in Queen of the World. Be careful, she has super strength, mind control eyes, immortality, and teleportation.
>>31220199Yeah fuck this. Lets be a villain.
>>31220199QotW knows hypnosis, just a heads up. MM is into transforming and summoning. I'd pick Monster Maestro.
>>31220199Choose neither and join the villains.
>>31220217>a choice of two girlsLET US HAVE BOTH OF THEM.IT HAS NOT FAILED US YET.
>>31220199Hey now, is this the future? Because I'm not sure how much we can help you in that's case.Anyway, ask the Boss about where the hell is Sparkle first.
>>31220199Fuck that, join the villains.
Blow up the computer. Join the villains.If not then go see Queenie.
>>31220199Just a heads up, none of those two is bad enough to deserve such a fate
>>31220233THE FABLED HAREM END
>>31220199How are we against mind control? Better to face Monster Maestro first.
>>31220227QotW also has teleportation, super strength and has a nasty snake summon.Bridgette has cute shapeshifting and really powerful summons, as well as some magic wands. And maybe the sword.
>>31220199you know what let's not put anyone inside of a black hole
>>31220199I love Bridgette, I really do. But Queenie wins by default.
>>31220199Take on the task of apprehending both, and fail on both counts. Perhaps this will get you a demotion from that ridiculous S-Class. And with your Hero name devalued, perhaps the Boss will let you start a new persona, with new name and new powers.
>>31220252Yeah, it looks like we are in some reality where Big Boss got ate by a QB.Maybe this is how EvilRena got her powers. She just locked everyone inside black holes.
>>31220199Your day couldn't get any worse, why not check if you can still at least stop time before you end up trying to defeat someone with only dildoes.
>>31220263Considering how many minds Chiaki has, I think we'd do pretty well
>>31220199Yeah no. Fuck this. Go find a gun and solve problems the only way you know.
>>31220199Just walk away.
>>31220263We can't even control our own damn mind, how the hell can anyone else manage it? Even Malal had to trick us into doing what she needed done.
>>31220286because using Time Stop is gonna be a homing beacon to Pinky and you KNOW she's enough of a bitch to count that as one of the two uses we have at the moment.
>>31220299You know it will end up just shooting dildos.
>>31220199That timestop is looking better and better, isn't it?
>>31220307Besides, I think we can really relate to Queenie.Infinite lives, amnesia every time she dies?Yeah, we should get along as well as Chiakiface does with anybody.
>>31220199Pick whichever one, then just bunk off the mission and go find someone who can tell you what the fuck is going on.
>>31220309Maybe we need her to come rescue us from this crazy universe.
>>31220311They will be spiked and made of steel, so the end result will be the same.
>>31220337She'll find us sooner or later.Enjoy the vaycay-time as long as it lasts, sez I.Unless that guy wasn't lying about the pancakes.
>>31220311Bullets are miniature dildos though
>>31220365You're thinking of suppositories.
>>31220456Bunny only good for her sex appeal please
>>31220456Pringle Guard pls
>>31220502To be completely fair to her, she did somehow make it fit enough to get pregnant from pringles.
>>31220500Breaker Quest isn't until later tonight.
>>31220216You sayin' I like chicks?>>31220223>>31220230>>31220235...Eh. Maybe.>>31220263Well, I did have that procedure, so maybe we're good with that. Got to admit, I want to see how bad she can fuck me up. I like a challenge.>>31220269>>31220282Yeah, alright. Let's get this shit over with.>Chiaki chooses Queen of the World. The Boss gives her Queen's current location."May fortune ride with you!"Yeah, yeah. Dickbutt.>Chiaki moves quickly to Queen of the World's location! She finds her wrecking downtown, on top of a huge and ugly robot."HAHAHA! Fear the might of the Queen of the World! On top of my beautiful robot made in my image, I will crush the entire world under my heel and bring it under my rule!"...That is one ugly-ass robot."AHA! Does the Hero Association send one of its mighty heroes, then? Too late! With BIG Q, I WILL JUDGE ALL OF THEE GUILTY!"...Haaaah.I'm...yeah. Looks like I have to take her down.Shame, though. She's kind of cute.
>>31220542Was she also a magical girl? Is DarkWitch EdgeMurder another egg-baby?
>>31220553Hey now, Rain is useful for other stuff too. Like being a pillow. Or shredding sensitive documents.
>>31220564Make fun of her for not having any friends.
>>31220564that's the dumbest looking robot I've ever seen.tell her that.
>>31220500I like how no one noticed that Carrie was pissed at us for cuddling bunny,
>>31220564that robot is not at all in your imagebecause you're much more beautiful
>>31220564>You sayin' I like chicks?I don't need to say it, you kissed Midori and you fucked Wendy!
>>31220567More like a canister baby. I refuse to live in a world where Edgemurder wasn't hatched out of a pringles can.
>>31220564Dildo to the face.
>>31220564Just throw another dildo at her. It's the only way you're going to get rid of all of them.
>>31220564[X] Ask her if she's seen your journal
>>31220564Tell her that she is kinda cute, so you don't want to put a bullet in her face.
>>31220564Throw a curved dildo at her, miss and let it hit her in the back of the head on the recurve so it'll knock her off the robot.Boomerangs Dildo
Just flood that bitch with dildos.
>>31220564THAT ROBOT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE YOU
>>31220593Yes, this is perfect.
>>31220564Dildo her robot to death. Bring out the big dongs if you have to.Its time to unleash Steely Dan.>>31220577Lots of us did, actually. We just didnt care. Because cuddlebunny.
>>31220594unless this particular version didn't, doesn't rember it, or it hasn't happened to her yet.Parallel universes and time travel are such bullshit.
>>31220564I bet you you could throw dildos hard enough to kneecap that bot. Sayaka took down a bot tougher than that with just her pigsticker, after all.
>>31220564Tell her the guys who made that robot screwed with her.She's much more cuter than that thing.
>>31220604hmmm, you might find her crazed with orgasm face adorable.
>>31220593>>31220593>>31220593THAT THAT THATPLUS FLIP YOUR HAIR
>>31220564Seduce her using your dildoes.
>>31220564Tell her she looks much more beautiful than that robot. Seduction works as combat in this universe.
>>31220619I already do
>>31220594Gosh darnit, and I already posted the kiss chart... I should make a second version of it, switching the roles per panel, just for situations like this
>>31220564Chiaki. This is important.How good are you at hair ruffling.
>>31220647She's aprofessional hair ruffler due to Yuu and Misaka, her imoutos.
>>31220564>You sayin' I like chicks?Yes, you even say Queenie is cute.Then again that is granted but what is Midori to you then
>>31220659>using imouto hair-ruffling skill for lewdsno
>>31220669Deal with it.
>>31220679But then she will think lewd thoughts of Yuu and Mikasa.
>>31220698As everyone should.You know you want it.
Once again. Unlimited Dildo Works.This suits Chiaki WAY more than it would have fitted Rena
>>31220634If ear nibbling and hair rustling is enough to bring Queen to a hardcore orgasm, imagine if she got actual stimulation.
>>31220659Good. We'll say how the Queen's giant robot is not as beautiful as her, and offer her our head-massaging services.Then we'll nibble her ears and ruffle her hair while giving her a scalp massage, until she collapses and surrenders.Just pray that Raindrops isn't around.
>>31220717>If ear nibbling and hair rustling is enough to bring Queen to a hardcore orgasmNot just anybody's ear nibbling and hair rustling, but that of the Lyrical Princess herself. She is unmatched in the art of ruffled hair.
>>31220717She'd wonder why it's not as good as the ear nibbling and hair rustling.
>>31220736>implying she would be satisfied with your clumsy, awkward scalp fumbling after being graced by the divine caress of Raindrops' gentle digitsChiaki gonna get her face murdered if she even tries.
>>31220736Or we could just start throwing dildos at her until she get knocked out, freaked out or buried in dildoes.
>>31220756>when the only tool you have is a dildo, everything starts looking like a place where a dildo should go
>>31220754Gives us an opportunity for a dildo shot to the face.Worth it.
>>31220769>when the only tool you have is a dildo, everything starts looking like an orificeFTFY
>>31220756>Or we could just start throwing dildos at her until she get knocked upFTFY
>>31220779You can use dildos in more places than just orifices, you know.
>>31220777You just want to touch Queenie, dont you.Not that I blame you.
>>31220800Touching the one weak to gentle contact gently is never a bad idea. Plus, gentle contact is best contact.
>>31220791That's why they're called personal massagers. Also, lets not use the flaming one.
>>31220813>weak to gentle contactIts less that Queen is weak to gentle contact and more Rapedrops is just that good at gentle contact. She is used to having servants wait on her hand and foot, after all.
>>31220832>that revealYou'd think that constant memory loss has no positive effects, and yet
>>31220647I'm....what? How does that even figure into this?>>31220630>>31220629>>31220616>>31220609>>31220593Well, I'm willing to try anything first. Let's see here.>Chiaki shouts up at Queenie.HEY. HEY, YOU. YEAH, YOU ON TOP OF THE GIANT ROBOT.>Queenie blinks down at Chiaki."Ye-es? Oh, have you come to plead for your life, peasant? If you swear yourself to my service, I may let you live."Nah. But, uh, something about what you said about your robot?"Mmm? Like how it's been molded to match my peerless visage?"...Yeah, that. I don't think you paid the people who made that thing enough."I didn't pay them at all!"That figures! Because it doesn't look anything like you! >Queenie flies into a rage."WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"...I'm saying you're prettier! By far!>Queenie is silent for a few moments."I...I didn't...um..."Yeah. Yeah, I think it's working-->Queenie blushes red some more, before shaking her head. She regains her composure."Hah! Good try, Dildo Emperor! But I won't be defeated by the likes of you! Prepare to be vaporized by Big Q's PAPYRUS CANNON!"...Welp. That didn't work.And what the hell kind of giant robot weapon is Papyrus Cannon?[1/2]
>>31220832"Wait on her hand and foot" does not mean get cuddled all day. In fact, being a queen usually comes with being very alienated from all human contact. It's no wonder she falls apart when it gets too close for her.
>>31220843Whatever. I'm gonna take care of this before it gets out of hand.>Chiaki takes a rubber object from inside her shield and throws it towards Big Q's kneecap!>Unfortunately, due to Big Q's design...>IT HAS NO KNEECAPS!>The rubber object bounces away harmlessly!FUCK! I wasn't expecting that.
>>31220843>Hah! Good try, Dildo Emperor!Shit, I cracked upOnly now I understood all gravity of having such nickname
>>31220843just a little bit more~"Next to your beautiful magnificence it is an abomination, not fit for this world. Truly one as glorious as you is above such a pitiful imitation"
>>31220865Forget Big Q, knock the cute little one off, and then give her a noogie.
>>31220865Ancient Egyptian craftsmanship, nigga.Impervious to dildos and dildo-shaped objects.
>>31220865So... it probably can't turn around very quickly?
>>31220865Give up, go be a villain. They look like they have more fun anyways.
>>31220878Also dodge. Dont forget to dodge.
>>31220865>no kneecapsdoes it have wheels under its feet? how the hell does it move?
>>31220865Summon a skyscraper sized dildo and strike the robot out of the city. Then seduce Queenie again.
>>31220865>FUCK! I wasn't expecting that.THEY MADE A DILDO IMMUNE ROBOT.WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE ?
>>31220865What would Rena do? Summon Bigger Dildo! Preferably above the target.
>>31220865If it has no kneecaps you can always target toes.
Enemies without kneecaps, Chiaki's only weakness...
>>31220891Defecting to villainy will probably net an instant big fat paycheck, because betrayal is evil as fuck
>>31220865YOUR ROBOT DOESN'T EVEN HAVE KNEECAPS QUEENQUEEN LOOK AT THIS ROBOTYOU HAVE KNEESIT DOESN'T
>>31220844>"Wait on her hand and foot" does not mean get cuddled all dayIt does when all of her subjects on mindcontrolled slaves.>>31220843>dat QueenieShe is never not the best, goddamn. How can one girl be so fucking based
>>31220865Go into a nearby building, get on the roof, and toss dildos directly at Queenie
>>31220908>Lacks kneecaps>Entire robot is dildo immuneSir, I don't understand what conceivable train of thought led you to associate those two, even in jest, but I applaud you for drawing a laugh from me. Well done.
>>31220865Point out how she won't have anyone to worship her magnificence if she destroys the only city left in the world.I mean, who will listen to her majestic voice if everyone's dead?
>>31220865Wait...it has HIP JOINTS. Apply Dildoes to Hip Joints. A double ended one would probably do the trick.Usually does for me.
>>31220865>wenkLaughed like an idiot at that.Try tying it up with some anal beads Hoth style. That ought to bring it down.
>>31220918Hat-chan.WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! MY DICK!!!
>>31220865Throw it at the Queen. Don't worry about killing her or anything if she falls, she's immortal.
>>31220943Is that two double ended dildos, or one giant dildo caltrop?>>31220865Actually, can we get it with giant dildo caltrops?
>>31220928She just is. Her song even confirms it.> 'I am the Queen of the World!> Bow before me!> This is my command!> You can not disobey!'
>>31220905Probably does those stupid baby steps
>>31220971Double Dildo Caltrop. Though the other one has a stand too.
>>31220905It's Giant Robo. The joints are there, just protected.
>>31220933>>31220949>>31220986It... It's a really old picture? It's even in my old style and using older brushes.... I wasn't expecting anyone to act surprised at it... (I've actually been meaning to redraw it)
>>31221036hmm? does >>31220933 seem like a surprised reaction to you?
>>31220928>mindcontrolled slaves.Q.e.d. she hasn't been using them for that though.
>>31221036Most of the people here might not have followed MGNQ at all, so don't act surprised
>>31221036Yeah, you wouldn't look Chiaki looking nearly as blase about it now since you went full Midori x Chiaki instead of Chiaki x Midori
>>31221069and a shame really. it is so much better when it is the latter.
>>31221063I'm just saying it wouldn't surprise me if she demanded the occasional reverent foot massage or back rub from them.
>>31221036I must have missed this one.
>>31220865SAY A COOL ONE LINER AND THROW A DILDO AT HER
>>31221065I hadn't considered that, actually. I thought this was mostly the same crowd... >>31221069Well, it wasn't that, but I could totally add a small blush on her. It was mostly thinking that Midori has received height and bust upgrades in the narrative since then...
>>31220928She's trying to stop controlling people all the time.See, she even got glasses especially for that.She's a cutie.
>>31221097>Looks like your plans are fucked!
>>31221109That is a recent thing.She is thousand years old.
>>31221109This is clearly an alt-universe QotW or at least one from before she reunited with Drops.>She's a cutie.Well duh. Queen a best.
>>31221112You've killed me, anon. I hope you're happy
>>31221142I am. You are big faker who could never live up to the legacy of the one true Hat-chan from Heretical Love Quest.
>>31221134I remember that image going differently
>>31221169We got this too.
>>31221181That's a lot more probable.
>>31220886>>31220906>>31220908>>31220910I know! FUCK! I wasn't expecting these dildos to be so well-equipped!I gotta get the big guns out. Come on, Shield! If you're anything like my old Shield, you don't give a fuck about being fair! Gimme something good!>After rummaging for a bit in her shield, Chiaki manages to pull out just that.YES! It's the...uh...Well. It's still sorta like what I wanted.Should work just as well.Except, you know. Dildo.[1/2]
>>31221257Kyuubey: biggest dick in the universe.
>>31221257That dildo is a war crime
This thread is dildosAlso we're WAY beyond bump limit and are on page 8
>>31221257Wait, is that going IN the robot?
Is that a dildo panzerfaust?
>>31221257Is that a Dildo Crockett?
>>31221257FIRE THE DILDO ROCKET!
>>31221257Well, whatever! Here goes! HEY, QUEENIE!>Exasperated, Queen of the World looks back down at Chiaki."What is it NOW? Just shut up and stay still so I can have you vanqui--">Queen of the World sees what Chiaki has in her hands. Her eyes widen and she stops."Oh...oh my. That's...that's big. I don't...I don't think I can handle that..."THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!>Chiaki fires the large weapon![2/3]
>>31221257You know where it must go, Chiaki.In the butt.
>>31221290Inb4 Deculture is banned for next post for lewds.
>>31221282Panzerfaust? Please. That, my friend, is a dildo DAVY CROCKETT.
>>31221302Davy Crockett Dildo Rocket
>>31221290>The super-large rubber object hits its mark!>It explodes upon impact in a massive conflagration!>The mushroom cloud can be seen for miles![3/4]
>>31221315A big finger to the /tg/ gods.
>>31221306a Pocket Cockett, if you will
>>31221321Davy Crocket the Pocket Cock Rocket?Kinda a mouthful though
>>31221315>mushroom cloudOh my fucking god.
>>31221320I... I don't think that's a finger, anon
>>31221345Different poster here, but less of a title and more of a statement, I'd say. "Our Davy Crockett is a Pocket Cock Rocket." Kind of an either or thing.Though I may just be crazy.
>>31221345That's what she said.
>>31221345highly appropriate>"Oh...oh my. That's...that's big. I don't...I don't think I can handle that..." - Queen of the WorldThat's going on the advertising material
>>31221315That is not a shroom cloud.
>>31221315>Chiaki gets out of cover and walks forward, waving the rubber-scented smoke away.>When the debris finally clears, the robot is no more. Instead, there is a crater where it once stood, with a slightly singed form lying on the very center. Queen of the World.>As Chiaki approaches her, she starts to wail and cry."G-gwaaaah! Noooo! My beautiful robot! BIG Q! And we were going to trample the entire world flat together!""I...I just wanted a friend..."...Wow, is everyone here lonely or what? Don't these guys ever have...you know, friends?Even I have a few."WAAAAAHHH!"
>>31221391Get her and Caffornicator together. DO IT.
>>31221391Ruffle her mussed hair.
>>31221391Actually, no. They don't have friends.KInda why a person who had no powers got to A rank by talking to people.
>>31221391Give her a hug. And a hair ruffle.
>>31221391obviously you should make friends with her.or make her friends with someone else.
>>31221391Hug her, she's too cute not tooAlso, we should escape with her. Cant let anyone be trapped alone in a black hole for all eternity that's just fucked up
>>31221391Initiate head patting sequence.
>>31221391Ruffle. Her. Hair.
>>31221391Head pats, "Destroying everything doesn't really make friends."
>>31221391How is that supposed to make you friends? How would you like it if somebody else stomped around in a giant robot? You'd have attention, sure, but not friends.
>>31221391Aren't so many friends to be found trapped in a black hole, y'know.Might want to think about that one for a minute before deciding to finish QBScreen's secret mission.
>>31221410S rank. And her super power is FRIENDSHIP.Rena's OP.
>>31221391>>...Wow, is everyone here lonely or what? Don't these guys ever have...you know, friends?>Even I have a few.Chiaki for fucks sake, where you come from the primary cause of death, murder and mass destruction is girls being lonely and having no friends! YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS BY NOW
>>31221391Give her headpatsTell her we know someone who would love to be her friendThen introduce her to Caffornicator
>>31221434She got powers to get to S rank though. Its why I didn't count it
>>31221454Ah, alright then. Sorry.
>>31221429[X] "YOU! WHERE IS THE ONE THEY CALL RAINDROPS? WHY AM I HERE, AND HOW THE FUCK DO I GET BACK?"
>>31221391FINISHING MOVE: HAIR RUFFLE
>>31221391Headpat. Then punt her into that black hole prison thing.
>>31221391I really want to know how she got from 'want a friend' to 'trample the world flat with a giant robot'. Sounds like some amazing logic.
>>31221494call me radical, but I don't like the idea of putting someone in a black hole prison from which no light or hope ever escapes.
>>312215191) Trample the world flat2) ???3) Gain friends!!!Flawless logic
>>31221402>>31221414>>31221420>>31221421>>31221428Okay, I'll pat her head, but I'm not going to hug her. I think I know enough how it goes.>Chiaki walks carefully towards the defeated Queen of the World and pats her head."W-wuh...? Peasant, why are you touching me...? You destroyed my beautiful BIG Q, but...">Chiaki shrugs.I'm not really here to hurt anyone. Just wanted to make sure you stopped before you hurt someone else. And you don't get to make friends by stomping cities flat, either."I...but...">Before Chiaki could say more, a drone comes flying in, carrying a metal ball."Well done, Dildo Emperor! You've subdued this merciless, bloodthirsty criminal! Now, quick, take this Nega Ball and throw it at her! This will transport her back to the Negative Zone where there is no escape, no light and no life! IT IS THE DEATH THAT LIVES!"...>Chiaki takes the Nega Ball, before looking at Queenie, who is tearing up again.Huh. I...I know I'm supposed to do the right thing, but...
>>31221555you know what I choose not to do that scary machine face
If there's a way in, there's a way out. It's only just.It's not our fault that no-ones ever had the intestinal fortitude to find it.
>>31221555Throw the ball at the TV.
>>31221555No, you're keeping her.
>>31221555Throw it at the robot and run off with Queenie.ADVENTURE!
>>31221555Apply NEGABALL to DICKBUTT COMPUTER.
>>31221555Throw it at the TV. Mutant cat bastard.
>>31221555Throw the ball at the drone, this is the only solution.
>>31221555Fuck the Boss.Keep her, throw it at the computer.
>>31221555Eat the Nega Ball
>>31221555Eat it and get out of this hellhole.
>>31221555Throw the ball at the drone. If anyone deserves that it's that cat.
Rolled 2>>31221555No, don't throw it at queen of the drone! Throw it at the boss!
[X] Jump into the Nega-ZoneIt's our ticket home, baby.
>>31221555THIS ISN'T THE RIGHT THING
>>31221555Throw the ball at the Queen. She tried to destroy a whole damn city. THE LAST city of mankind. She will try it again if you let her. THROW THE BALL.
>>31221555Lick it and then pocket it. Who knows something from a completely different timeline not at all connected to yours may work on Pinky.
>>31221555Yup, do the right thingThrow it at the computerBy the way, someone should really archive this thread
>>31221555Analyze the negaball. Does it look anything like a grief seed or something familiar?
>>31221555Put the Nega Ball in your shield. Never know when having one of those will come in handy. Hell, maybe you wake up in a non-insane universe later on and you can toss the reserve ball at Pinky.And besides, the drone's pretty much obligated to give you another so that you can (ostensibly) capture the villain with it if the alternative is letting them go.
>>31221555THE RIGHT THING IS NEVER THE OPTION WITH NO HOPE
>>31221555Throw the ball at the dickbutt who won't change your nameTake Queenie and Caffornicator out drinking
Field Expedient Acquisition time.
>>31221555Chiaki, girl, does Queenie look like someone who deserves the Negative Zone? Is she relly a merciless and bloodthirsty criminal the boss makes her?Think of what you've become! You're just an errand-girl for some insane, maniac cat thing!
Keep the Nega Ball and throw it at Jyuubey.
CLAIM IT FOR THE CHAPTER. IT WAS CLEARLY GIFTED TO YOU.
>>31221682Of course she is. She was in the process of destroying the last refuge of mankind on earth.
>>31221682>Think of what you've become! You're just an errand-girl for some insane, maniac cat thing!So nothing has changed.
Ask the computer thing if the name Homura means anything to it.We may have a backdoor out of here.
>>31221710I should have expressed that more clearly. Even though everything around her is foreign, even here she's devolved into running errands for a Cat.
>>31221742It must be force of habit by now.
>>31221710QB is really, really stable by comparison.
>>31221555"... Fuck that noise, I'm keeping her."
>>31221760We should ask the Monster about QB.
>>31221760I don't follow Rena Quest (not yet anyway) Which one do you mean?
>>31221786The computer is... I'm not sure how to describe it
>>31221568 >>31221573 >>31221574 >>31221583 >>31221589 >>31221592>Chiaki looks down on the negaball on her hand.Gotta say, it's been kinda fun pretending to be a real hero and everything.But you know, one thing I always heard about heroes...they do the right thing even when the right thing isn't easy....>Chiaki tosses the Negaball at the drone.Too bad I'm not like that. Dickbutt.>The negaball opens and takes the Drone - and the Boss inside - into the Negative Zone!"What? WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!">The negaball closes and disappears in a flash of light, leaving Chiaki and Queenie behind. Chiaki looks at Queenie and smiles.Come on. Let's get a drink.>A voice from behind suddenly speaks, making Chiaki turn around to look."Not so fast, Chiaki Matsuda. Warmaster of the Ninth Officio."...Hey, look at that. It's been a while since I heard those, Dildo Emperor was growing on me.>Chiaki turns to see a rather beautiful Magical Girl, with hearts and ruffles and shit all over her costume. She's sparkling, too."It's time to get you home. Everyone needs you back. Your duty isn't over yet."..."Peasant?" Queenie murmurs, tugging at your sleeve. "I...are you going to leave, so soon? I thought you were going to be my friend..."
>>31221799TAKE HER WITH YOU
>>31221799Get drunk with Sparkle and Queenie before you leave.Maybe your whiskey will defeat Sparkle's magically-cute ability.
>>31221799Kill Queenie. Its easier if she just forgets everything.
>>31221799Tell this girl to get Queenie a friend. Somebody who can be nice to her.Then go back.
>>31221799go have a fun hangout scene with all of them before you go.
>>31221799Take her with you!!!
>>31221799"Remember what I said and it won't be long before you find a friend that won't ever leave you."
>>31221820Sparkle already drinks whiskey out of a juicebox.
>>31221799Give her a sappy speech about the power of friendship transcending realities. Also, not to worry, she'll make more friends soon.Just, stop mind controlling people and trying to wreck up the place, be polite, try being humble, and work the goods.
>>31221799IT'S SPARKLE! How does she know who you are?Give the Queen a hug. The biggest of hugs.And ask Sparkle to take care of her.
>>31221799Whatever you do, DON'T give her a memento from inside your golden shield to remember you by on those lonely nights.Also you should try out reverse psychology.
>>31221799Take her to the Californicator.She needs a friend too
>>31221799I am your friend. I have to finish a job. I can't promise I'll be back. But....Here's Looking At You Kid. ~Hairflick~
>>31221799Is sparkle... Smiling?
>>31219663Crap. I could have a waifu interest now.
>>31221799>implying anyone would be your friend
[X] "Once I'm gone, your real friend should be back real soon."
>>31221799Give her a dildo"With this, it will be like I'm always by your side."Hair flick.Go with Sparkle, don't look back.
>>31221836>taking Queen to the hellhole of MGNQ
>>31221843No, her whiskey turns into juiceboxes. Full of juice.
>>31221799We can stop time.Stop time and get INSTANTANEOUSLY DRUNK.And then explain to queenie we have to go home to a place where we don't hurl sex toys at passers-by, but she can still make friends by not being a (figurative) dildo
>>31221799Rena is your friend, Queen... whoever the fuck it is
>>31221799Tell Sparkles you'll go only if she becomes Queenie's friend. And deliver messages so we can be penpals with Queenie.
>>31221854That's Ultima-Sparkle, after she consumed QB and turned into an omnipotent magical girl.
>>31221872We oughta get a ray of sunshine in there. And Queenie needs to see the nitty gritty some time. I'm sure we can give her back after a couple of... months or so.
>>31221854I thought that was MG Heart, one of the MGs who Sparkle absorbed.>>31221876She still gets drunk from it. This has been expressly stated multiple times. It just LOOKS cute, but its still full of booze
>>31221799By the way that's not SparkleWrong outfit and wrong eye covered, also no facial scars and barely visible ahoge
My work here is not complete
>>31221872She has more powers than the normal queen, she'll be fine.
>>31221893>Queenie needs to see the nitty gritty some timeQueenie has had a hard enough life as it is.>>31221903That doesnt mean she deserves such a fate.
>>31221925Oh come on. Live a little! Or die a little. You know the two go hand in hand.
[X] Get... FUCKED[X] STORM OF DILDO FURY
>>31221799"Huh, now? This place was starting to rub on me just a little bit.""Well Queenie, looks like my time here is up, but worry not. If you put real effort into making friends, you'll find people worthy of you."Give a farewell hair ruffle.
>>31221933Gate of Dildolon.
>>31221879Pretty much this. Rena disappeared in the other universe and everyone (besides Pinky, because of the licking) forgot about her.Same will go on here, only this new Magical Girl will remember us.
>>31221932Maybe once Chiaki has been the childhood subject of painful necromantic experiments, had her eyes and mouth sewn shut, and then mummified and intentionally interred without her favorite childhood possessions just to mock her from beyond the grave, then constantly forced to revive without memory so as to never learn from her mistakes she can tell Queenie to live a little. Queen has lived - and died - quite a lot as it is.
It seems very possible that girl isn't native to this universe.
>>31221974Chiaki has lived through everything and more but has enough skill to never have died once. If anyone she could be her onee-san, or maybe sempai in all matters of survival.
>>31221974I love how dark HQ can get sometimesIt's some really interesting contrast with how light and happy the normal waifufagging is
>>31221979Maybe she is not-creepy Pinky.
>>31221993>never have died onceThen by your own logic oresented in >>31221932, she has lived less than Queen and cant teach her anything.
I'm guessing she's someone we've not met yet who Pinky has sent to "collect" us.
>>31222026Well friend. Chiaki has lived a lot and has made a lot of others die. Good enough?
>>31222010Rather than an Aura of Normality, doesn't Rena have an Aura of Brightness that generally keeps things from getting to dark while she is around?
>>31222047That's pretty clever, I like that
>>31222040>Good enough?Not until she has ruled a nation. 40K Magical Girls dont count, either.
>>31221818>>31221836You gotta be fucking joking.>>31221820>>31221829>Chiaki pats Queenie on the head again, before replying to the Magical Girl.Knew that this was gonna end somehow. No chance for a bit more time so I can get a few drinks? For the road?>The Magical Girl shakes her head."It's time, Chiaki. Everyone needs you back. She needs you back."Yeah...>Chiaki pats Queenie on the head again.It's okay. You'll make more friends when I'm gone. You're not a bad person, I think. You didn't really stomp anything flat, you just pushed a couple of condemned buildings over."N-no! I'm not a good person, peasant! I am the Queen of the World! I am a Villain! I'm evil!"Heh. Yeah, okay, Whatever she says.>The Magical Girl smiles as Chiaki moves closer."Ready to go?"Yeah. ...Everyone'll forget about me, right? Keep things neat like that?"Perhaps."Good. Okay, make with the sparkly already, before I follow Queenie over there with the fucking waterworks."...Resolute to the last. Very well. Goodbye, Miss Matsuda."Yeah. So long. Dildos.>With barely a sigh, the Dildo Emperor disappears from the world forever.
>>31222047Nah, Rena doesn't have any aura on her own.NegaRena, on the other hand, has an aura manifested as the fucking sword.
>>31222070I cannot cry hard enough
>>31222070And immediately gets chided by her Equerry for daydreaming when the Remembrance ceremony is starting.
>>31217711>With barely a sigh, the Dildo Emperor disappears from the world forever.a true tragedy
>>31222106how the fuck did I link the OP instead of the post
>>31222106That just means if we come back, we get a better alias.And we could hardly do much worse than Dildo Emperor.
>>31222070Time for MGNQ!And the feels!
>>31222070>Chiaki suddenly snaps awake. This time, she's in her own sleeping quarters.WHAT YEAR IS IT?!Fucking CHRIST! What the hell was that dream about?! Dildo Emperor?! Queen of the World?!Ugh. I'm never going to go drinking with Kyoko again....Wait, what's this?>Chiaki picks up the ID on her bed.>It's an Hero ID of The Dildo Emperor, with her picture up front."...Fucking....PINKY!"
>>31222134I dunno, Emperor is a pretty snazzy title.The dildo shitck is odd.. but surprisingly effective. Besides, who better for a Queen than an Emperor?
>>31222159Next time you see Pinky, ask her about Rena And whether she likes her.
>>31222070>>With barely a sigh, the Dildo Emperor disappears from the world forever.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtHVZrInmCc
>>31222159Check the shield.We must be SURE they are gone.
>>31222159Back to being the watch-wearing dildo!
>>31222159And that's that! Sorry if it stretched out a bit long, but I hope everyone who participated enjoyed it! Thank you for your participation! Regular MGNQ continues either this Friday or Saturday Night!Questions answered before we go to autosage!
>>31222159Check your shield. There might be some left.
>>31222159>Knew that this was gonna end somehow. No chance for a bit more time so I can get a few drinks? For the road?
>>31222159Stop time and check on Pinky
I should probably read this MGNQ thing.
>>31222195Are there still far more dildos in the shield than there should be?
>>31222070>>With barely a sigh, the Dildo Emperor disappears from the world forever.
>>31222195Is it possible for a magical girl to make another magical girl pregnant in MGNQ-verse?
>>31222195Will Chiaki or the Queen take a bit of what they learned today to heart?
>>31222195How long have you guys been planning this? How much of it is canon?
How did you find the pace and art/words balance compared to normal MGNQ?
>>31222195Should get a nice comfy sweater.
>>31222195Can we get a Chikuwa picture with Rena?Quick, someone bug Larro about this!
>>31222195I don't even read these quests, but this was fun.