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fun stuff from the bargain bin at ye olde magick iteme emporiume.

>a compass that points you towards the nearest egg
>a mirror that when two people look into it shows the reflection of what their first child would look like(or next child if they already have one)
>a puzzle box that slowly unsolves itself when no one is looking.
>>
boots of Knock.
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>>33363654
An ordinary-seeming coin that, when flipped, can land on one of six different sides.

A moondial.

A pair of spectacles that claim to see through clothing; looking through them simply produces fuzzy, flesh-colored blobs.

A pair of gloves that auto-translate the wearer's words into sign language.

A music box that winds itself.
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>>33363654
A toy wand that simply produces a small glowing ball of colored light that moves with the wand; a magic laser pointer, essentially.

A prank goblet that melts and reconstitutes on command.

A woodcut depicting some historical figure or leader; the lines shift depending on the angle of view, giving the appearance of three-dimensionality.
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A music stand that turns the pages of any sheet music placed on it as the musician plays/sings.
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an archmage of mine (NPC) had a +5 small knife of peeling.

it removed the peel of any fruit in one single slash, nothing more.


a small and cute NPC (a baby catwomen) had a mush-mush slayer.
a tiny sword that was +5 Vorpal of Celerity only against mushrooms (or anything closely related), while another small NPC had a Bzrout-slayer (or Peen Cutter), to vanquish the people that got to close to her mother.

the cursed sword was the Poo-Poo Slayer, and you understand the concept. (the blade always whispers Poo-Poo too)
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decanter of endless gravy
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A series of cheap wooden mugs that, when one's finger is run along the rims, emit ringing tones of various pitches. The effect is magical and placing liquid in the glasses have no effect on the tone.
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A cup that hovers, motionless, a 1/2 inch above any surface it is set on
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a pair of boots that will not stay tied/buckled if worn by anyone other than their original owner
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A magical map that leads the holder to some minor treasure or lost loot 80% of the time, the other 20% of the time it takes them to the nearest location known locally as "Make Out Point"
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>>33363654
A spoon which renders soup ever so slightly too hot to eat.
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glasses of blinding light amplifies all light by alot
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a religious icon that emits a noxious smell whenever anyone in view of its wearer has a sexual thought.
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>>33364605

so its just a religious icon that stinks, then?
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An old thighbone carved with eldritch runes, which will automatically throw itself whenever a canine is nearby.
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>>33364775
it encourages its wearer to associate only with the pure of heart, and to keep his own thoughts clean. It is worn as an act of penance and submission.
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A pocket-comb glamoured, when used, to add lustrous sheen to your hair for an hour.
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>>33363785
>A pair of gloves that auto-translate the wearer's words into sign language.

Imagine rapping while wearing them.
Shit would be so cash.
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>>33365035

It's a well-made enchantment, but it's not sophisticated enough to prevent your fingers from being broken.
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"Blade of Spreading"
A bladed weapon of some sort that turns into a butterknife on command.

May actually belong to a powerful assassin who REALLY wants it back, because sneaking it into places is awesome.
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A sundial that measures time on other planets.

A pair of dirty roughed up shoes that produces a copy of themselves every week.

An old ring that allos one to ellongate the wearing finger to twice its size.

A sword that only harms liars.
>>
Happily I found this image.

Enjoy.
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A cushion that, when compressed, emits a loud fart noise.

These are considered a hilarious novelty among the aristocracy, despite being obnoxiously common, and older than anyone can remember.
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>>33365264
Some of those actually could have practical purpose, if somewhat limited.
>>
A geiger counter modified to pick up love impulses.

A seemingly pornographic book that spits slime when in one's face opened.

An animal collar that makes the wearer hyperactive.

A bar of soap that can wash away bad emotions.

A clock that secretely contains an imp that moves the handles a few minutes backwards or forwards when nobody's looking.
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>>33364265
groovy!
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>Robe of Phantom Friendship
Whenever the wearer is feeling down, the robe creates the sensation of a warm, reassuring embrace or an understanding pat on the shoulder.
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>>33364602
Alot is not a measurement unit, but you could have a Wand of Summoning Alot.
>>
An ordinary arrow that seems tipped in poison, it's actually tipped in a potent aphrodisiac.

An unconnected faucet that produces up to 10 lbs. of chocolate coins a day.

A scarf that instills doubt in the wearer.

An old armoire that contains a secret compartment that contains a sentient sassy and nosy bathtub that can produce bubbles at will (if it feels like it).
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An enchanted book that masquarades as a normal book. It changes a single word or paragraph in nearby books to something inacurate, but seemingly believable and in context.
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Needle of Unsewing. Can unsew any stitching, yielding back both pieces of fabric and originally used string. Can also untie knots. Only works on mundane (non-enchanted) objects. Takes 10 rounds to use.

Needle of unsewing +X. As above but works on enchanted items up to enchantment level X. Unsewing takes number of hour equal to items level. Enchantment is irrevocably erased unce unsewing is finishied. (is interrupted, item retains enchantment but still has to be repaired). Can be used as magical weapon doing 0+X damage.
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A small vial labeled Troll Suet. The alchemically-treated suet is suspended in a thick, milky-white liquid that acts as a potent healing potion. After being consumed, it refills over eight hours.

An unstated side effect is that each dosage causes the drinker to gain about a pound of fat as it's digested.
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>Ring of Outward Righteous Spirit

If the wearer of this ring poses it produces a low rumbling sound. Anyone that sees the wearer posing will feel compelled to strike their own pose.
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A ring that, when worn, censors random portions of any document you are holding; these portions are superfluous information that do not contribute to the main idea of the document.

A pair of spectacles that will never fall off unless you speak and, in which case, are always guaranteed to fall off of your head.

A belt that, when worn, is always slightly too noticeably long.

A prisoner's chains with a ball on the end that are completely weightless but will remain in contact with the ground as often as possible.

A finely adorned tunic that, unless left outside to dry during a storm, will never become clean.

A hood that always hands just far enough past your eyes that they give you difficulty in seeing but do not hide any facial features (excluding your hair, when applicable).
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>>33366039

Jojos?
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>>33365264
A ring that hums a song when you rub it.
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A mug that will always hold its contents at an angle, as if the contents are about spill out. The mug otherwise functions perfectly.

A mug that will always be full when sitting within an establishment of which that serves concessions. This mug's magical properties will not activate until a beverage is purchased and poured into the mug initially.

A coin purse that, when currency is placed into it, it will come out resembling foreign currency of equal value.
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A pair of gloves that, when worn, give you the capability of being the most talented individual of an inane hobby. One of said items is being the best at opening and closing your mouth in a capricious manner.
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A dildo that that teleports several feet away when you stop looking at it.
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>>33366685

A pair of pants that, when taking them off, gives the sensation as if you are unzipping your dick; this does not actually affect your genitals.
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A short sword with no magical accuracy or damage properties (Although it does count as magical if you're attacking something that can only be hurt by magic weapons) that stays precisely where you leave it relative to the ground if you let go of it (So it floats in place, essentially). It can only hold a small amount of weight besides itself, and will move freely if any amount of force is exerted on it.
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>>33366776

This does give me an idea for something silly. A pair of boots that slightly changes your gravity, just enough, so that you have the slightest difficulty with mundane tasks such as jumping, walking or running without tripping.
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Not exactly minor but they're magical
please like my creations
>>
The Lesser Amulet of Tongues: This magical amulet allows the user to speak and understand any language. However, to save on costs, it translates most verbs as the body part used to accomplish the task.

>Please to be butting in chair.
>Do not foot on grass.
>Ear to me mouth.
>Here at our monastery, you will fist many people as part of your training. In turn, they shall fist you, and you will learn things about yourself that you never thought possible. Now fist this tree and training begins.
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>>33366916
Don't repost your own stuff, it was boring enough the first time around
>>
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A magical paintbrush that causes the user to be noticeably more talented at painting than usual. Inspiration flows readily from them, and everything they create is beautiful in their eyes, better than anything they'd ever thought they could create.

A certain amount of time after finishing a painting, it spontaneously turns into a picture of a sink. The more time spent creating the painting, the quicker it changes.
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A lantern that has two small dials on the top, next to the handle.
When the first dial is turned, the light emitting from the lantern changes color. The possible options are white, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple, and black (UV-A). The second dial creates patterns in the light, and can instantly douse the lantern. Its options are normal, dim, shadow-puppets (The lantern "remembers" any shadow-puppets that are made in its light, and plays them back randomly when set to this setting), a setting that causes the other dial to rotate slowly (Automatically rolling through the color options), and douse.
Neither dial has marked positions and the lantern requires fuel as any other lantern would. The settings (Aside from douse) do not affect the amount of fuel it burns.
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>>33367343
Do, say, photographs of the original finished piece also turn into pictures of sinks?
What if the artist originally sets out to make a really fuckin' amazing picture of a sink? Is there any disadvantage then?
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>>33363785
>A music box the winds itself
>Winds itself

Infinite kinetic energy... Could bring a small nation utopia with that.

Unless it stops winding when something's hooked up to it?
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>>33365242
>A sundial that measures time on other planets.

Can I borrow this?
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>>33367535

What the hell is a photograph? This is a medieval fantasy kingdom, bub. Don't go bringing your weird dwarven inventions into this.

Although, yeah, the pictures are of perfect photographic quality. Whatever that means.
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>>33367711
Small nation indeed. I'd say we're looking at less than 20 watts watts at best. I suppose you could power an ant colony with that.
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>>33363654
>A Terra Cotta warrior that appears within 10 feet of the owner whenever it is not being observed
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>>33367875
Mouse guard macguffin. This has potential! see what I did there harhar
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>>33363723

Brilliant.

until you walk over a trapdoor i guess.
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>>33367711

These items presumably exist in a universe where magic and magical items are well-known, if not common.

And in the DnD universe, you wouldn't depend on a fragile clockwork box with a three-penny enchantment, when you have access to not just one, but TWO planes of infinite energy.
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>>33365242
>A sword that only harms liars.
Everybody lies at some point.
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>>33367957

It was then that the paladin snapped.

There were no survivors.
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>>33363654

A magical nosepicker, guaranteed to stop when you're about to have a nosebleed.

A set of women's lingerie that evaporate into mist after being worn for half an hour.

A set of a dozen magical lozenges that will sweeten the smell of your flatulence.

A potion of Cure Hangover.

A crystal spoon that sweetens any food eaten in it.

Magical powder that preserves food items for 1d4 weeks per pinch.

Magical bandages that can stop bleeding (This one might be a bit too actually useful for adventurers)

Magical male enhancement

A living toupee that doesn't just look like dead hair

Magical wood paneling that can look like any of the following at a command: Clay, brick, wood (any type), sheet metal, stucco, or granite.
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A small animated mannequin that acts in whatever manner the last person to touch it would consider "helpful". It does not have a mind of its own, but reads the subconscious thoughts of whoever activated it and acts upon those. It cannot purposefully harm anything or be consciously controlled.
However, due to its small size and lack of strength, it is generally stuck on the ground, table, shelf, or wherever it is left unless something like a staircase is built for it.

It will keep a small child occupied for hours, lace your shoes for you, dust underneath hard to reach furniture (If you provide a small feather duster, that is), collect small objects and bring them wherever you want, ect.
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>>33365264

Am I the only one that would wear #51 all the time, just for the feel of it?

Maybe hem in the extra baggage.
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>>33365242

> A ring that elongates the wearing finger
> inb4 That Guy tries to put it on his dick
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>>33367957
I think to call someone a liar, it needs to be a big part of their character.

Meaning that they lie frequently, and in a way that harms others.

So it wouldnt harm everyone who has ever lied, just people who do it often enough to actually be able to be given the lable
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>>33367875
So a level 20 wizard knows a spell called Augment Object:

http://dndtools.eu/spells/stronghold-builders-guidebook--49/augment-object--3375/

And we cast this on our small Adamantine music box along with a little permanency spell.

Our little box now has a hardness of 40. So, as long as we can hook up a gear to the doesn't apply more than 40 units of force to the box at any given moment we can turn the gear without having to worry about breaking to box. Now the question is, how large would the gear have to be to break the winding key of the box?
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>>33368093

>Congratulations, you now have an 9" penis with the erect width of a hot dog. That sure cleared up any sense of inadequacy you had previously. Now it's time to go show it to women and hear what they think of it.
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>>33368050
It says it dispels when the pants come off, but what if the fly is opened? could you still take advantage of the enchantment with your junk just sticking out the fly? or what if the pants were still on, but around your knees?
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>>33368204

This sound like the sort of thing we'd calculate. But then again, it doesn't involve anything entering anything else's anus.
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>>33367944
Has anyone bothered to make a setting where a has actually bothered to utilize magic to it's fullest potential?

The most I've done is create shipping lines filled with flying boats and such.
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>>33368237
Lets say the gear is being used to slowly, but steadily, massage a giantesses anus with a squishy yet firm dildo.
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>>33367046
Maybe it was because I just got done reading about hundred pages worth of textbook, but that was way funnier than it should have been.
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>>33368271
In a few of my settings I have things like this. For instance a "water wheel" made from portable holes, funnels, and ball bearings.

Once you get it started the whole thing rotates, the ball bearings stay in the holes until they reach the top at which point the arm tips over, dumping the ball bearings into a funnel. The funnel prevents the weight from instantly going back into the hole.

It's not perfect, but a few places have little things like this.

There's also infinite steam generators set up in the larger cities for heating, public transit, and power. They're made using a Decanter of Endless water and a permancied wall of fire in an adamantine boiler.
>>
a granite sphere about the size of a baseball, which on command hurls itself at the nearest infant.
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>>33368674
>There's also infinite steam generators set up in the larger cities for heating, public transit, and power. They're made using a Decanter of Endless water and a permancied wall of fire in an adamantine boiler.


So.... how long until you flood the world with these?
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>>33368716
This gives me an idea for a one shot in which the players are dealing with the repercussions of this.
>>
>>33368716
The material plane is pretty vast, though you did bring up a plot point in one of the settings.

>One of the cities is flooding, it's generators are pumping out more then the flood gates can handle.
>>
http://rustyandco.com/arcade/dinkums-random-magic-item-generator/
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>>33368012
>magic male enhancement
Consult your cleric if enhancement lasts longer than 8 hours.
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>>33368802
...because he probably wants in on it.
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>>33363654

Whirlwind Hat - A hat that, when worn, always spins clockwise, unless it is physically restrained.

Desert Sandals - Sandals that always make the wearer feel like they have some sand between their toes.

Coin of Predictability - A plain coin that, when flipped, always lands on the opposite side of what it previously landed on.

Lantern of Darkness - When this otherwise normal lantern is lit by its owner, darkness comes over the owner's eyes, making it look like everything is dark.

+1 Condom - Whenever someone has sex with a +1 condom, one more child is conceived than would be normally. This includes anal sex.
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>>33368793
>Speedy Scarf of Beatboxing
>Let's the user talk twice as fast as normal and provides a vocal beat at the same time

Fuck.

Yes.
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>>33369299
>coin of unpredictability
as a coin flipping heads or tails, it functions normally. but what coin's obverse and reverse is displays change every time it is flipped, and may not be from the same coin.
>>
>>33369299

Asshole's Fish Tank - A very fine looking fish tank that automatically makes any water put in it anoxic (void of any oxygen).

Forever Pillow Case - A linen sack that, when sealed and filled, always feels like a goose down pillow, regardless of its actual contents.

Anti-Gravity Mug - Gravity is reversed within the confines of this mug.

Amulet of Secrets - An amulet that reveals the secrets of the wearer. By whispering those secrets in the wearer's own mind.

Lock of Knock - A masterwork padlock that casts Knock on anything onto which it is affixed. No key exists.

Leather Suit of Making (Only) Other People Uncomfortable - A super skin-tight leather suit that makes the wearer feel like he/she is wearing "Nothing at all!"
>>
>>33369299

A Really Good Cookie - A chocolate chip cookie that makes whoever eats it crave another for 1d8 weeks.

Loot Lute - A perpetually out-of-tune lute that enchants listeners into paying you as much as they can afford for your performance. When you stop playing, they realize how shitty it sounded and demand their money back.

Bargain Assassin's Mask - When you wear this mask, everyone who sees your face only sees the face of an innocent child. How they perceive the rest of your body is unaffected.

Ice Pick of Mastery - When used to make an ice sculpture, the wielder becomes the best at ice sculptures. Needs to be in 90*F heat to work.

Sword of Empathy - This sword links the wielder to the last person whose blood was drawn by the sword when a command word is spoken. The link causes anything that happens to either party to happen to the other.
>>
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Self-billowing cape
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>>33365419
>An animal collar that makes the wearer hyperactive.

That explains those annoying bitches in high school!
>>
>>33369299

Bachelor Briefs - A pair of boxer briefs that appear to everyone but the wearer to be a full pair of pants.

The Lost Sponge of Atlantis - This sponge absorbs an infinite amount of water, and won't release a single drop of it until it is squeezed. Then it releases all the water it contains at once.

The Lost Sponge of Atlantis Mark II - A sponge permanently infused with Dust of Dryness.

Erotic Tuning Fork - When tapped against a living, or dead, sexually reproducing organism, this fork emits the sound that organism makes, or made, when climaxing.

Powder of Getting Pissed - A pinch of this powder will make any liquid have the alcohol content of 10 mugs of ale. Not to be confused with the Powder of Getting Pissed.

Powder of Getting Pissed - A pinch of this powder in any liquid will induce an inexplicable murder-rage-frenzy in whoever drinks it for 1d4 hours. Not to be confused with the Powder of Getting Pissed.
>>
>>33369299

Feather Hammer - This large hammer's weight has been magically reduced by the weight of a feather.

Purse of Pewter - Anything placed into this purse is converted into an amount of pewter of equivalent value.

Tome of Taunting - This thousand page leather-bound tome has "I bet you could read this, huh, smart guy?" written in every language except the ones the reader knows.

Wandering Hole - A living creature jumping into this portable hole will instantly appear in a random place in the same plane.

Anklet of Attraction - When worn, this anklet makes you insanely attractive to the opposite sex. All members of the opposite sex within a mile will be drawn to you. This includes all species.
>>
>Ethereal goblet / tankard
Magically enchanted but otherwise unremarkable drinking flaggon. Binds itself to the user unless willingly given away. Reaching your arm out and mentally evoking it it causes the vessel to manifest in your hand, filled with the (commonly available) beverage of your choosing. The cup can be banished by throwing it over your shoulder, else it remains in the world.

>Carpenter's familiar
A wooden pebble that morphs into a 1'-tall footstool when tossed onto the ground. Returns to a wooden pebble when the user has hold of it and wills it so. It can be pierced for the sake of putting on a string or necklace, but if more than 1/3 of the material is lost it turns into a broken stone pebble.

>Wilhelm's Whittlin' Knife
When used on a a scrimshaw, allows you to carve it exactly as you imagine it. Otherwise a normal knife.
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>>33370197
That last one was invented by a dragon, wasn't it?
>>
>>33370197
>This large hammer's weight has been magically reduced by the weight of a feather.

As in, it weighs one feather's worth of weight lighter?

Or did you mean it weighs the same as a feather?
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>>33370271
Yeah, but it was a bad idea.

Hint: ANTS
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>>33370313

>>As in, it weighs one feather's worth of weight lighter?
>>
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>>33370314
>Implying the dragon didn't fully intend to create a species of literal fire ants
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>>33369299

Wand of Reposts - When used, this wand says the most common saying of the current area.

Infinite Dildo (Infinildo) - After this dildo, made of a worthless material, is inserted into a humanoid's orifice, no matter how much you pull it out, there's always more dildo inside.
>>
>A prank goblet that melts and reconstitutes on command.

> Make it melt while someone's drinking
> Reconstitute goblet while part of goblet is inside target's body.
>>
http://www.scp-wiki.net/log-of-anomalous-items
>>
>>33370197
>Tome of Taunting - This thousand page leather-bound tome has "I bet you could read this, huh, smart guy?" written in every language except the ones the reader knows.

I've got a character who's explicitly an omniglot, capable of fully understanding and communicating in any language, spoken or written.

Would the book just be blank for her?
>>
>>33369299

Slow Motion Ring - When worn, the wearer's mind processes sensory information at a rate of 1/4 the normal rate. By the time 4 seconds have elapsed, the wearer will only have been aware of 1.

Stingy Midas's Finger - When this finger is touched to an object, that object is painted gold. The paint has no actual gold in it, and flakes off easily.

Dwarven Puzzle First Aid Kit - This box of life-saving supplies is safeguarded by a dastardly and deceptive puzzle mechanism!

Noose of Flesh to Stone - The skin that touches the inside of this noose turns to stone, making it damn near impossible to either break your neck of suffocate.

Moonwalking Shoes - Whenever you wear these shoes, any attempt to walk forwards will result in you accidentally doing a totally awesome moonwalk. Any attempt to walk backwards will succeed.
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>>33370761
I'd say it'll just have a series of random characters that, while not explicitly representing words in any specific language, the tome itself understands to convey the same idea. You know, a thousand pages of that.
>>
>>33368793
Aloe Orb of the Roadrunner
This lightly-scented orb allows the user to move 50% faster than they normally do when the command word is spoken, and it soothes as it works. While using the item, the user may only communicate in beeps.
>>
>>33365610
that could really fuck some people up, like your looking for something really important in an old textbook or something and that thing fucked it all up and you have no idea untill after everything gets ruined by the misimformation
>>
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>>33371151

wizards, man. whaddya gonna do?
>>
Turban of suspicion.

Causes everyone who can view the wearer to perceive them as an untrustworthy charlatan and possible criminal.
>>
>>33367343
What if they use other paintbrushes in the process too?
>>
>>33368793
Viper's Wand of Shadows
This snake-headed wand allows the user to hide in any shadow when pointed at your enemies, and every time you use it, you may inflict an incapacitating poison onto anyone touching it.
This is nowhere near useless; rerolling:
Iron Manacles of Breakdancing
An iron set of manacles allows the user to bust out some slick moves when their lock is opened. The object is almost indestructible. Comes with a big unfolded sheet of cardboard.
Oh gods, I need to make a Bard villain with the Leadership feat stock up on these to prepare their followers for a dance number when my PCs storm the castle.
>>
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>>33372922
>tfw the bbeg moonwalks into the next room while his hip cronies step in to serve up some sick moves
>>
>>33363654
What is this? A lightsaber for druids?



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