You are a Magical Girl, and it's been a crazy morning. Lots of stuff happened, none of it something that any sane person would want to wake up to.The first was a nightmare, where you saw Midori getting murdered by wide-eyed grinning dolls that giggled and called you names.Then, your Equerry dragging you into a meeting with your ex - to talk about what you planned to do with Oriko, who'd apparently had an entire church full of Magical Girls burned to cinders a couple of hours ago.And even before you could wrap up the last one, a surprise call from the last Culexus of your Officio had you scrambling to rescue your arms dealer from suffering the same fate. You managed that last one, though. It came down to the wire, with you being forced to use one of the two Time Stops that the pink-haired demon inside your Shield allowed you to have - but you did it. You didn't fail someone who was counting on you.It feels like it's the first time you ever managed something like that. Which, if you'll be honest with yourself, feels a little bit depressing.But you'll take your victories where you can get them.
>>33489493The aftermath of the rescue was less of hunting down any remaining flunkies of Oriko's and more of general cleanup. Allowing Sayaka to slip the leash at the barricade had basically ensured that, your Equerry murdering the entire squad of Magical Girls at the barricade and then intercepting two other squads that had been on the way to finish off what the Lava Golems had started. You asked if she left any of them alive, and she looked at you as if you'd just asked her to eat a hobo's ass out with a spoon. That was a no, of course. She didn't leave any alive. She went for their Soul Gems a moment after she cut their bodies apart.As for Tiny Pete, Misaka's personal bodyguard - and probably one of your best friends by now, along with Kyoko - you had him carted back to Headquarters through a heavy truck transport, along with the giant limping robot wolf, for immediate repairs and reconstruction. After what he did - not only holding back Oriko's flunkies long enough for you to rescue Misaka, but also killing THREE Lava Golems on his own - the giant deserved nothing less than the very best. In fact, you'd heard Mami talking to Kyuubey about contacting the Fourth Officio about sending one of their top officers over, for a top repair job. Kyuubey sounded hesitant at that, but Mami winked at you and stressed to the Incubator that it was something you personally asked for. ...He relented after a while, sighing about ballooning expenditures.As for Wendy and the meeting with the Church, well...your ex took off after making sure you and Misaka were alright, roaring away on Schpeltiger. Mami assured you that even if the meeting was adjourned a bit too quickly, it had ended on a good note - not only did the Ninth Officio and the Church agree on what was to be done with Oriko, but the sudden act of teamwork would also go down well with both organizations' members. [1/2]
>>33489493Best time of the week.
>>33489493Ha ha! It's time!...I probably should get back working on the write-up. It's been -way- to long.
>>33489511Another meeting, just to make things official with the High Priestess, would probably be likely later this week, but it'll be something that Mami could handle if you chose to attend to something else at the time.So, not too bad for what could be one of your most exciting mornings ever.Of course, with the sun up and the day finally beginning as God intended for it to begin - you're now stuck in your office, chained to your desk to attend to paperwork, while your rescued arms dealer snores through the dream Wendy provided for her. A tall stack of paperwork, just waiting in your IN tray, beside your tupperware-encased breakfast. A breakfast that Midori had quickly and sheepishly pushed into your arms before whispering 'sorry' under her breath and then running away for...well, whatever Callidus instructors do.You let out a sigh. Hadn't it only been a few hours ago where you were ducking behind an armored giant for cover, leaning out only to blow out some kneecaps with your Desert Eagle? You also managed to actually kill someone this time, a Callidus in a high school uniform that'd been pretending to be the Red Culexus. You shot her clean through the biker helmet masquerading as an Anima Speculum, and you didn't stop shooting until her skull was only scraps of meat and gore leaking through a plexiglass bowl filled with holes.Now you're...well. Here. The dildo wearing the watch again.This is your life now.What do you do?Get to the paperwork. See what's on your plate, and then start clearing it.Get breakfast out of the way first. Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Check your schedule, see if you have any more dildory to look forward to today.Other.
>>33489580[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Always time for best imouto
>>33489580>[x]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
>>33489580>[x] Utilize paperwork and trash-bin for exciting office-basketball activity.
>>33489580[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Imouto's a bit more important now.Paperwork will still be here when we get back
The most exciting time of the day has come!Just as I was leaving for a weekend vacation.
>>33489580>[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
>>33489580[x]Get to the paperwork. See what's on your plate, and then start clearing it.Might as well look at it.
>>33489580>Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Take the breakfast, though.
>>33489580[X]Get breakfast out of the way first.We haven't eaten anything yet.The only good thing to happen this week has finally arrived!
>>33489580Paperwork is the worst.[X]Get breakfast out of the way first.[X]Check your schedule, see if you have any more dildory to look forward to today.[X]Get to the paperwork. See what's on your plate, and then start clearing it.[X]See Misaka when an opportunity presents itself.
>>33489580>[X]Get breakfast out of the way first.>[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Go share breakfast with Misaka perhaps. Awkwardly try to explain away any possible heart shaped food items.>A breakfast that Midori had quickly and sheepishly pushed into your arms before whispering 'sorry' under her breath and then running away for...well, whatever Callidus instructors do.Well at least she knows she was out of line.
>>33489580[X]Check your schedule, see if you have any more dildory to look forward to today.[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Find out whats happening today, then go check on Misaka.
>>33489580>[x]Get breakfast out of the way first.>[x]Check your schedule, see if you have any more dildory to look forward to today.>[x]Other.Resist urge to think about Wendy in a lewd ways.
[x]Other.Check the diary app! We haven't use ORIKO yet!
>>33489661My favorite fanart of the week.
>>33489580[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
[X]Get to the paperwork. See what's on your plate, and then start clearing it.Then, ten minutes later when we inevitably get bored,[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
>>33489645Since its the next day, we can probably assume(?) that Chiaki has already talked to Midori. Pity, I wanted to finally find out what happened in Siberia IC, and this would have been a good opportunity to demand answers.
>>33489580[X]Get breakfast out of the way first.
>>33489580>Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
>>33489682It's the same day.Meeting was at 3 or 4 AM.The Misaka rescue was at dawn.I'd assume now is around 8 or 9 AM.
>>33489580>[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.Poor her.
>>33489682>Hadn't it only been a few hours ago where you were ducking behind an armored giant for coverStill the same day man.
>>33489580>[x]Get breakfast out of the way first.
>>33489708Ah ok. Then lets talk to Midori at some point and make her tell the Siberia story as punishment for acting unprofessional.
>>33489700Have we checked the diary for GREEN?Also, if time permits we should talk to the three stooges and ask them WTF was up with the timestop? Also, ask them about the dolls!
>>33489580>[X]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.made it in time for the first vote!
>>33489746Yup. GREEN is a password.http://wiki.magicalgirlnoir.com/index.php/Diary_entries
>>33489746Yeah, it just gave us a massive case of the shadowruns.Well, a massiver case.>G R E E N>[PASSWORD ACCEPTED.]>[UNLOCKING ENTRY #5]>[I was as surprised as anyone when I saw the people you'd started to gather around you, but probably not more surprised than I was when I saw Hanegawa Midori. She doesn't deserve this, and you know she doesn't. Nobody does. But where she's concerned, maybe the alternative really is worse. Just remember - the most dangerous Callidus is the one you invite into your bed. Or to live in your apartment.]>[An old magical girl once told me: Do not fear your enemies, for only a friend can betray you. Then she punched me in the stomach. Remember that.]>[Oh, and don't eat the banana ramen. It'll make you crazy sick. Like wow.]
>>33489580>[x]Fill out one form. Hit the gym and work off the stress. Got to take regular breaks from dildowork.[x]Leave your paperwork on the table, see how Misaka's doing.
>>33489746>Have we checked the diary for GREEN?>G R E E N[PASSWORD ACCEPTED.]>[UNLOCKING ENTRY #5]>[I was as surprised as anyone when I saw the people you'd started to gather around you, but probably not more surprised than I was when I saw Hanegawa Midori. She doesn't deserve this, and you know she doesn't. Nobody does. But where she's concerned, maybe the alternative really is worse. Just remember - the most dangerous Callidus is the one you invite into your bed. Or to live in your apartment.]>[An old magical girl once told me: Do not fear your enemies, for only a friend can betray you. Then she punched me in the stomach. Remember that.]>[Oh, and don't eat the banana ramen. It'll make you crazy sick. Like wow.]
>>33489791uh yeah, that's not even close to finished by the way. Haven't even finished that forward punching arm and the face is all guidemarks and placeholders.
>>33489788Where's the "lick my armpits" variation of -this-?
>>33489746>Also, if time permits we should talk to the three stooges and ask them WTF was up with the timestop?Just a guess, but I think that shit happened because Pinky was extremely pissed (about a number of things. Dragging others into timestop, disobeying command to not use deagle, romance, and just being Pinky) but still wanted to keep her promise.I am sure we will pay for saving Misaka somehow the next time we see her. PROBABLY will be worth it though.Just remember if we take someone else into timestop beyond our 2nd use the chance of them being aten is quite high.
>>33489850Read my mind
>>33489850That is a good god damn question, anyon.
>>33489850She doesn't have to encourge that.She knows you want to.
>>33489853Maybe, but I have my doubts.The presence of feathers, the total absence of pinky and the chorus of screaming voices that sounded like Chiaki all strongly hint that the recent craziness is not due to Pinky but rather Homucifer (or Transcendent One as she is called in this story). The dream about Clara Dolls further suggest her influence.That is also why I figure consulting the three stooges might help. They know little about Pinky, but presumably they would know a lot more about Homucifer/TNO, since in a way she IS us.
JOY!!!!I read the archives! I can finally join this! I'm so glad I lost my job! Now I have time fo MGNQ!Squeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>33489853I don't know anon raven feathers are more Akuma Homura's thing so I think it was her not Pinky messing with our time stop
>>33489931Welcome to the abyss, nerd!
>>33489931Welcome to suffering, there is no exit.
>>33489931Get ripped in your newfound time!
>>33489788>>33489850Too hard to imitate the style of the original, so I copy-pasted it from the other parody.
>>33489931Prepare for suffering.
>>33489957Yes thank you
>>33489928>>33489935Yeah the feathers seem pretty dam important, not sure how I left that out.Could be one or the other, or both, do we have any idea about how Pinky and Homucifer feel about eachother?I could see Pinky protecting us out of jealousy or something. Not sure what Homu's motive is though.>>33489931Same. Took two weeks but it was worth it.Well, I didn't lose my job, yet.
Does An incubator have armpits and if so how do they taste?
>>33489984I don't know, anon.Why don't you ask?
>>33489984Like corruption and the depths of space
>>33489984Basically, yeah. Also earpits.And presubaly like Marshmallows.
>>33489984Like marshmallows. Its a space at made if fucking marshmallows.
>>33489996Nah, that's Pinky.
>>33489995>tfw you will never clean your alien masters armpits and share in its auto-cannibalisitc feast.Truly suffering
>>33489984And speaking of which, what does Sayaka's armpits taste like?
Mani confirmed for cucking us with the 9th Incubator when?
>>33490019Sweaty blueberries and Kyouko's tounge
>>33490019Sandpaper and tabasco
>>33489965It’s not really clear to me but I think that Pinky doesn't know about Akuma Homura since she is looking for the real Akemi Homura and she thinks we are her
>>33489661I have failed to resist
>>33490051Don't think about those whiskey and bacon flavored armpits
>>33490042She doesn't think we're the genuine Homu but she settled on torturing us anyway because she couldn't find the real one easily.
>>33489957Dont make me post it!
>>33490034Raspberry and period blood
>>33490214>Not posting the superior versionhttp://a.pomf.se/omivst.webmYou truly are absolute cancer, Crix, no matter where you post.
>>33490214I too, browse /anime
>>33490216Oniichan... My armpits are sweating on their own~~~
>>33490263She's the onee-chan, you dumdum
>>33490251Then why didn't you post it? Oh right, because it's past the file size limit you fucking twat.
>>33490276DONT TELL ME HOW TO LIVE MY LIFE MOM!
>>33490280>>33490251Settle down, children.
>>33490214>>33490251Oh the new season is airing? Awesome.
>>33489590 >>33489595 >>33489607You decide to leave the paperwork for now and check on Misaka first. It's not like it's going anywhere anyway - your paperwork will still be there when you get back. You just want to make sure that the arms dealer you rescued from that inferno is alright and in one piece. Not that Wendy herself didn't check or anything, she did - and Sayaka did as well, after your ex left on that beast of a motorcycle of hers. Both of them declared that she was, by all rights, unharmed and unscathed, making your own checking moot as it is.Still, it couldn't hurt to check again, yeah? Of course it couldn't, you reassure yourself as you slip out from behind your desk, making your way towards the couch. Towards the sleeping Russian who called you her big sister with a big smile on her face....Well, she does look alright, from what you can tell without moving her. Besides a few grease smudges on her face and some stains of engine oil on her overalls, your arms dealer looks completely fine. ...It doesn't look like she's comatose or anything, either, as you see her fidget every now and then in between snores. Just like a kid who'd fallen asleep, exhausted after playing a bit too much.A brief indulgence of your paranoia - courtesy of your Soul Gem and a pulse check - also confirms that this IS the real Misaka - not a Callidus just taking a nap on your couch, waiting for the time to bury a knife in your spine. You feel guilty about that last bit, but you've already decided that when Oriko's involved, guilt's the least of your worries."Big...Big Sister Murderface..." Misaka suddenly murmurs, her voice creaky and thick with sleep, making you jerk back in surprise and very nearly making you drop your Soul Gem on her face. "Misaka...Misaka wishes to ride the bumper cars..."Bumper cars...? Oh, yeah. Wendy did give her a dream about you taking her to the amusement park. That's...that's really kind of her, really. You should thank her for that--[1/2]
>>33490317You gotta wonder if the reasons incubators possess their MGs is so they can experience licking hands and holding armpits
>>33490329Ok, gotta ask what the hell this is, since it has more than one season.
>>33490347"...please stop touching Big Sister Wendy's butt..."...Right. Well. Maybe not FOR that. Did she have to make your dream self that lousy with the sexual harrassment?Anyway. Misaka seems to be fine. You probably don't need to frisk her just in case Oriko's flunkies strapped a bomb to her and hid it under her clothes, or something.What do you do?Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Wake Misaka up gently. Ask her if she remembers anything about the attack.Other.
>>33490280REMOVE CRIX remove crixyou are the tripfag idiot you are the tripfag smell. return to reddit. to our reddit cousins you may come. our 4chan you may post in /b/….ahahahaha
>>33490347>That's...that's really kind of her, really.she is gonna be PISSED when she wakes up.
>>33490352Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYABasically Fate/Stay Night with Illya as a magical girl. Its pretty good.
>>33490365>[X]Wake Misaka up gently. Ask her if she remembers anything about the attack.
>>33490365>Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.We checked up on our imouto, no need to wake her from her peaceful -if a bit lewd- slumber.Professionalism.
>>33490365[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.It needs doing and as soon as that is over we can do other, more fun stuff!
>>33490365>Wake Misaka up gently. Ask her if she remembers anything about the attack.>>33490371Nonsense, we just take her to the actual amusement park
>>33490365>[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.
>>33490365[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.We really should do this.
>>33490365>[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Let the girl sleep.
>>33490365[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Well, gotta get back to work.
>>33490365Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.ITS TIME
>>33490365[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.
[x]Wake Misaka up gently. Ask her if she remembers anything about the attack.Anything useful might help track down Oriko faster.Wow i'm a heartless bastard.
>>33490365>Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.
>>33490393>Nonsense, we just take her to the actual amusement parkI'm not sure that will fully compensate for the fact that a not insubstantial portion of her warehouse just blew up.
>>33490365>[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Let her sleep. Wendy did say it wouldn't take long, and these dildoes won't read themselves.
>>33490427By amusement park, I think he meant Arms Show
>>33490365>[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Oh, Wendy, your subconsciousness is slipping.
>>33490251>>33490214Picked up. Even having read the manga and knowing lewds were coming,that's just ridiculous.
>>33490436Why not both.jpg
>>33490463Glorious isn't it?
>>33490365>[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.
>>33490458>your subconsciousness is slipping.I could write an essay on the nature of dreams.But I won't
>>33490365>[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Might as well do it now.
>>33490427Pretty sure the place's insured against that kind of a thing.
>>33490365>[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.If there's one thing we've learned so far, it's that there can never be enough dildoes.
>[x]Get kneecap-chan and try to enter the dream.
>>33490463You mean reDICKulous, right?
>>33490481probably, but that doesn't make it any less of a hassle.For starters, inventorying what survived and what didn't,
>>33490463is someone actually planning on saying the name at some point?
>>33490547I wouldn't be surprised if the warehouse up top was only the tip of the entire structure.
>>33490563Hurr durr, lurk moar faggot.
>>33490563Unlimited Blade Works.
>>33490563Seriously, lurk moar.
>>33490575>inb4: Down bellow is a silo with 4 ICBMs."We have WHAT?""Preparations and precautious, Matsuda."
>>33490563Someone in this thread already did.
>>33490563Redman is Shirou.
>>33490621Who would have guessed?>tfw S2 never
>>33490563Fine. There you go:Boku no Pico
>>33490365>[X]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.now it's time to face our most dreadful enemy: PAPERWORK!
>>33490365>>33490347Not even in your dreams, kid.
>>33490670Are you sure? I actually just watched that one recently and don't remember that scene...
>>33490686Great work as always.
>>33490686Doing god's work.
>>33490686I love you.
>>33490692Of course! I'm something of an expert on bokus and picos.
>>33490686C'mon, Murderface, you have to pay some attention to the rest of her body every once in a while.Thanks Dan.
>>33490686Looks like she's touching the butt in he thumbnail
>>33490722The boobs are the front butt.
>>33490686I feel like the buttjoke falls flat.
>>33490666for a second there, I thought that was Monsoon
>>33490606I have seen enough to know that it's not Unlimited Blade Works, Redman is Shirou, Melty blood or Boku no PicuYou're supposed to be the chosen one, /tg/. i'm not supposed to NEED any other boards!
>>33490767Every other board would also tell you to lurk moar faggot.With love,/tg/
>>33490767The (correct) sauce has been mentioned in this thread.
>>33490767Pretty sure it was mentioned in the thread. The actual one. And it is not on your list.
>>33490780Other people want to know too, stop being a twat and stop sauce blocking us
>>33490793I'm assuming it's not in the filename, because that looks like a reference to Mechwarrior
>>33490767Every board that is worth ever visiting would tell you to fuck off.Fuck off.
>>33490767What are you saying? Of course its Boku no Pico, you idiot! What else is it supposed to be?
>>33490767If you know it's not UBW, you should know it is related. Is that enough of a hint, you whiner?It's Prisma Illya, don't tell everyone else I spoon fed you
>>33490813>Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYA>Basically Fate/Stay Night with Illya as a magical girl. Its pretty good.
>>33490803>he's never watched magical girl Davion-chan and friends blaze across the chaos marches
>>33490767I am impressed by your absolute unwillingness to put forth even a modicum of effort.
Please. If you're gonna troll, you need to at least do this:Anon, that anime is called Mai-chan's daily life.
>>33490855Jesus christ, motherfucker. I asked because I didn't see that ONE post with the actual fucking name in it.I was halfway across /a/ looking for it and have recently discovered that trying to image search a webm is anywhere near as easy as image searching an actual image.Asking /tg/ was a last resort and frankly I hope you all die in a fire.
>>33490835Why'd you tell him, anon?I found it, and I wasn't even looking.Also, those are some sassy sticks.
Saucing Hentai is suffering
>>33490835>>33490842We don't tell them for a reason.Now they'll keep asking. You are worse than cancer.
>>33490893>Asking /tg/ was a last resort and frankly I hope you all die in a fire.You don't hope that in general? You pretty much have to be new to just now be feeling this.
>>33490890>Mai-chan's daily life
>>33490926for the human race, not /tg/ in the specific.
>>33490900>>33490904I just like being helpful, I don't even care who I help
This thread seems very productive.
>>33490890>Mai-chan's daily life.
>>33490963Seems normal to me. Actually its pretty quiet right now TBH.
>>33490890Already fapped to/10
>>33490967I'm not really sure why people go for such weak Guro. I can barely fap to Mai-chan anymore due to how vanilla it is.
>>33490952>helping peopleThat is neither grim nor dark, you...You... you... you TRIPLE MON-KEIGH!
>>33490984Wow... you're even more fucked up than me.... and that's saying something.
>>33491001It's not even that weird man come on.
Mai-chan is pretty much standard entry level to weird guro shit. If you ever enjoy it for more than an hour or go further you are a terrible person who is better of dying.
>>33490365>[x]Go back to your paperwork and breakfast. Begin Watch Wearing Dildo Time.Debrief can come later, for now, sign there, there, there, initial all those, and fill that out in triplicate.
>>33490999I don't want to be grim or dark. I just want to be a good cook the bone of my sword
>>33491061..... voting was over 30 mins now. We are not talking about what makes a man. A miserable pile of secrets
>>33491061>haircut that doesn't allow for proper hairflicksHeresy most foul and vile!
>>33491077HERESY, GROSS AND FOUL
>>33491061..... voting was over 30 mins now. We are not talking about what makes a man. A miserable pile of secrets.
>>33491049I like bullying. I have a personal fantasy of bullying Moemura to suicide.
>>33491101clearly you have bullying issues. Have you ever dreamt of potatoes and chease with an side order of big fries?
>>33491101I have a personal fantasy of bullying Wendy to orgasm
>>33491101Nigger stop, Moemura is already fragile and suicidal.
>>33491075Water (35 L), Carbon (20 kg), Ammonia (4 L), Lime (1.5 kg), Phosphorous (800 g), Salt (250 g), Saltpeter (100 g), Sulfur (80 g), Fluorine (7.5 g), Iron (5 g), Silicon (3 g) and fifteen other elements in trace amounts.
>>33491137I have and there was cum all over the bed sheets afterward.
>>33491154The most wicked part is that it could actually work.
>>33491167You have repressed issues regarding your sex. I recommend jacking off every day and thinking before you talk.
>>33491156That's what makes it so fun. Like, I make Madoka fall in love with me so she leaves her and even makes gun of her, and she realizes her life is pointless torture and she just hangs herself.
>>33490893It's prisma Illya
>>33491203Tell me: Have you ever dreamt of potatoes and chease, with a side order of cheap salad?
>>33490999>TRIPLE MON-KEIGH!>Implying someone should be ashamed of being humanI bet you rooted for the Na'vi in Avatar
>>33491194I always took that dream as me have a desire to fuck a baked potato. My dick still has burns but at least I came.
Did someone say bullying?
>>33491223No, my salads are expensive and fancy.
>>33491221yeah, i got it. But thank you.
>>33491203Jesus christ you sound like the homuhater drone in Madoka threads, and I hopenyour not him.
>>33491240>implying I was foolish enough to waste money on a shit movieStep up your game, 'umie.
>>33491246Ah. A common misinterpretation. It is logical to think that you have a potato fetish, but in reality, it is simply a repressed urge to eat more salads. The next time you go eat, order a salad.
>>33491101this is not okayyou are a bad person and i wish suffering upon you
>>33491266>>implying I was foolish enough to waste money on a shit movieOf course not, it's not like you can afford to see a movie after spending all your money in Games Whorehouse
>>33491278But my doctor recommended I should have more vag in my balanced breakfast.
>>33491298Looks like he's taking a flight from Rektjavik
>>33491317WELL YOUR DOCTOR IS FUCKING WRONG. WHO DO YOU TRUST THE GUY WITH A MEDICAL DEGREE OR AN ANON ON THE INTERNET.EAT A FUCKING SALAD.
>>33491259I've seen that guy, he's a fraud. Homura is for loving. Moemura on the other hand is an adorable teddy bear you just can't help but bully into submission til she cries.
>>33491317We could all use having more vag every once in a while.
>>33491353YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LESA!
>>33491360You, sir, are worse than Hitler.
>>33491360Your all right, but don't bully Moemura too much her heart may not take too much bully and you should probably be careful while Prince Sayak and pink beams from the heaven goes apeshit on you.
>>33491360What did you say?
>>33491440I'm sorry anon, when I see a pure, weak girl all alone I just can't help myself from becoming the bully. I guess it's like a kind of love.
>>33491440Everyone is. He was a great man.http://thegreateststorynevertold.tv/
>>33491249>>33491265>Literally every one of anon-kun's friends is a violent psycho/sociopath>but the girl who likes tanks is a freak>I met some humans once. They were stupid- but not blatantly so- and they were cruel- but not so overly so.Clearly, whoever wrote these has legitimate psychological issues, or a lack of knowledge regarding social situations.>>33491298Shit, sorry, anon, I was too busy losing my faith in humanity all over again to exchange banter.
I bully them because I love them
>>33491530It only works when they're masochistic. Like Wendy.
>>33491486If it was love, you'd only bully her if she enjoyed it.
>>33491525Clearly you have never interacted with high-school teenagers.
>>33491265Oh wow. I actually just read that pic. ...All I can say is that this is hilariously impossible. Whomever wrote that is so out of touch with reality it's funny. And if anyone tried that IRL, I'd be surprised if no one beat the crap out of them.
>>33491525I think you vastly underestimate peer pressure and how fucking monstrous kids can be.
>>33491585And you have clearly lost touch with the real world.
>>33491577Honestly I've worked with 60+ Year old women who are just as bad. Only real difference is you can sue one much easier.
>>33491486It's not just the bullying or physical abuse though, it's the tears. They learn to think that the hitting is just you caring , but in the wrong way. Emotion suffering is the purest. You draw Moemura in, with sweet words and the promise of more, then you yank back the chain and they stumble down on their knees at your feet. They look up at you, lip and voice quivering in disbelief, surely a joke and in denial then you break them with a single word. Then the tears and the desperate clawing at you with hands. They try to run but can only stumble as you follow along, pour out more and more cutting abuse, of course leveraging all the weaknesses and insecurities you've learned as you lured them in. The worst part is you keep your voice free of emotion, as if reading facts from the dictionary. All up until the little moemura is there on the ledge, pleading with you to stop and take it back or anything, just the slightest indication you care. The last thing she hears as she pulls the trigger is your callous laughter at her suffering and how you won't even savor the tears you drew.Something like that, she's perfect for it, stuttering voice and insecurity. Prime mark, wonder why pinky isn't all over her.
>>33491598No, it's you who overestimate the number of cruel people. People like that do exist. But the truth is, most people are just ignorant of the shit that goes on around them, or just plain dumb and don't know what to do, ending up doing nothing.>>33491619You're telling me that people stabbing other people in the middle of class wouldn't be noticed? Even in a ghetto school, somebody would know. And when someone starts stabbing other people, that's when you start running.
>>33491577I have, in fact. The vast majority are stupid, rash, ill-behaved and ill-tempered.Very few are violently insane, and very few don't find shy/awkward nerds to be anywhere from 'simply there' to 'cute'.When one becomes violent, the veritable hive-mind of others recognizes the threat, whether on a conscious or subconscious level, and reacts.One does not simply stab a girl and get away scot-free.A guy I knew barely prodded a girl with a pencil and was suspended for three days for it.And the girl was a bitch nobody particularly liked.She was more accepted afterwards, interestingly enough.Once the herd has recognized you as human, it tends to take you in.Being absurdly over-the-top like that doesn't make it 'realistic', it makes it impossible to believe. That is clearly the product of an addled mind, with serious misconceptions about reality.People are cruel, sure, but not nearly so many, and not usually anywhere nearly so severely.Stabbing Yukari hard enough to draw blood would have incited a world of hurt on that girl, physical or not.Please step outside for a few moments, breathe in some fresh air, and take a minute or two to watch the people around you.Observe the lack of stab wounds.If you notice stab wounds, please contact the local authorities.
>>33491669I've had people in my old school get caught on fire and burn chairs down. In class. And no one gave a shit once they guy put it out and there was no damage.
>>33490385 >>33490389 >>33490393 >>33490394You reach down to give Misaka a gentle pat on the head, making her distressed frown curl up into a sleepy smile at the contact. Fine. Your arms dealer - and surrogate little sister - is fine. There's no need to worry. Wendy and Sayaka checked her out, and now you did too. There's no need to check any further. She's fine, and she'll probably be pretty eager to find out what happened to her warehouse when she finally wakes up. You'll be here for that at least.It's with a sigh, then, that you make your way back to your desk, planting your ass wearily down on your high-backed leather chair and nudging yourself closer to your work surface. You give the tower of paperwork one of your patented glares - and when it fails to catch on fire, you sigh again, and lift the entire thing out of your IN tray, to place in front of you. If you're doing this - diving headfirst once more into dildodom - then you're doing it all the way. No excuses. No half-assing it.You sort out the paperwork, seperating them into similar piles. It takes you half an hour to go through them one by one - and at the very end of it, you are left with five piles in all, and one gilded, gold-embroidered envelope.The first three piles are typical boring Officio paperwork - equipment requisition, receipts for major purchases, and notifications of recruits graduating from basic training. From what you can tell, and from what you remember from Mami's coaching, you don't really need to do anything with them other than stamp them with your official stamp, to signify that you've looked them through and verified them. [1/2]
>>33491668The best if you think of moemura as short. Shorter girls are more fun to tease to tears.
>>33491718Hell I've seen people toss out rape threats directly to people in class including the times they plan on it and no one gave a shit.
>>33491721The fourth pile is a set of seven printouts depicting seven Magical Girls' profiles - all Eversors, and all in the same training squad. Apparently they've been marked for discipline and censure, as they've been found to have let in some unauthorized personnel into their squad quarters after curfew. Said unauthorized personnel were in fact older high school boys. Alcohol is believed to be involved - another infraction to add to their already growing list of infractions, and pretty much pushed things over to the brink that it had to be brought to your attention. For you to handle personally.The fifth pile is...well, a sobering pile. Black envelopes - the kind of envelope no parent should ever receive. Inside a black envelope, the grieving parent would find: a signed and notarized death certificate of their young daughter, with certain key areas carefully obscured by black ink; a copy of the deceased Magical Girl's insurance policy that the bereaved stood to gain quite a bit from; a bank card containing the deceased's gross earnings from her time of contract to her time of death; and finally, a signed letter from the Warmaster, a letter that would speak well of the departed, about how the Officio would dearly miss such an irreplaceable member of its payroll. It would also come with a few pithy sayings in an attempt to allay the grieving recipients' souls, along with a nice travel package and a free college scholarship (applicable only when younger siblings are registered as co-dependents).Twenty-four black envelopes. One for each of the girls that died in Wendy's church. You needed to sign the letters, apparently. The 'personalized' message were already written in - each one different, and carefully fabricated to sound genuinely sympathetic - all while subtly warning the recipient to grieve in silence.No need to make a fuss. No need to kick up a racket. Just take the money and grieve. Time heals all wounds, so get to healing.[2/3]
Woah what the fuck is happening in here, this bullying and suffering I feel like I'm in a witch barrier or some shit.
>>33491756One of the cold realities of being a Magical Girl this day and age, you think, picking up your pen. ...Idly, you wonder if Oriko's doing the same, right now. Preparing messages to send to the families of the girls she sent to die.You shake your head again. No, don't think about that right now. Just...focus. Sooner you can get through this the better.The gilded envelope, of course, is predictably from the Second. No doubt asking you to let go of Kyoko again.What do you do first?The first three piles. Might as well get through them first.The disciplinary action pile. Might as well start this with a healthy dose of Eversor bullying.The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Shred the Second's request for Kyoko Sakura first.
>>33491773[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Do this first please.
>>33491773>[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.
>>33491773>[x]Shred the Second's request for Kyoko Sakura first.And then;>The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.
>>33491773>[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Warmaster Matsuda takes care of her girls. Even in death.
>>33491773>[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.4th is a bad idea, 1st is boring probably, and 2nd should be saved for when we leave our office.
>>33491773[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Respect the dead.
>>33491773Just saying right now:READ the Second's letter before shredding it.It might not be the transfer.[X]The Black Envelopes.
>>33491773[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.
>>33491773>[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.
>>33491773>The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.>Shred the Second's request for Kyoko Sakura first.>The first three piles. Might as well get through them first.then eversor bullying as light relief.
>>33491773[x] bullying Time for suffering and girly squeals
>>33491773>[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.let's get this done so we can enjoy punishing those Eversor later
>[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.
>>33491773>[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.>[x]Shred the Second's request for Kyoko Sakura first.Actually READ it.You never know.
Requesting Pinky pulling on Moemuras braids.
>>33491773[X]The Black envelopes.
[x]The first three piles. Might as well get through them first.[x]The disciplinary action pile. Might as well start this with a healthy dose of Eversor bullying.[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Just do them all. But read the letter to Kyoko before shredding them.
>>33491706That is a very optimistic view of human nature. In my workplace, my job is basically to observe people in their work environment. As a result, any misconceptions I might have held about people being basically good when observed in a vacuum have been thoroughly shattered.People might seem friendly and nice, but most of them are raging cocks beneath the surface. Maybe one in ten are actually decent.
>>33491706You have clearly been on the "right" side of bullying. I hope you enjoyed your power. Your victims certainly did not.
>>33491855>Maybe one in ten are actually decent.as many as that?More than I'd have thought.
>>33491773[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.And read the envelope from 2nd, since if we shred it without reading it first, it will inevitably be something else. Thats how it works.
>>33490563Prisma Ilya manga/anime. Specifically the second one. Prisma Illya Drei
Wait a fucking second. Straight Magical Girl is something I'm willing to accept. But SEVEN of them? Something's fishy here!
>>33491773[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.[x]The disciplinary action pile. Might as well start this with a healthy dose of Eversor bullying.[x]Combine these.Finish the black envelopes and then make the girls in question deliver every single one personally as punishment since this is how everyone can end up can end up if you let anyone unauthorized stick his nose into Meguca Business.
>>33491884They're young.>>33491894taken from the security camera before the first headbutt.
>>33491855We are all monsters. The only escape is to realize this, and fight to become something more.I am in no way condoning bullying. But hurting people is a solution that perpetuates a cycle.
>>33491831This ends in harem or horrible death.
>>33491907>Finish the black envelopes and then make the girls in question deliver every single one personally as punishment since this is how everyone can end up can end up if you let anyone unauthorized stick his nose into Meguca Business.oh ho ho, not bad.
>>33491907>Finish the black envelopes and then make the girls in question deliver every single one personally as punishment since this is how everyone can end up can end up if you let anyone unauthorized stick his nose into Meguca Business.This actually works.
>>33491907Wait! Wait! I change my vote to this!
>>33491907Ooooh, I like this!
>>33491907Well, that's good. Chaging to this.
>>33491907Cruel and Unusual Punishment.I like it.
>>33491907Ice cold.>[x]voting this
>>33491773>[X]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.Also, in case it later becomes relevant before we have a chance to vote again, >>33491802has the right idea. Do not shred letters from other Officios without reading them first.
>>33491907Holy shit this
>>33491831Who are you kidding, we all know Midori is the one who would steal Wendy's lips
>>33491907>[x]The Black envelopes. It's only fair these get sent out the soonest. For their families, at least.>[x]The disciplinary action pile. Might as well start this with a healthy dose of Eversor bullying.>[x]Combine these.Creative. I like it.
>>33491855As far as I have witnessed, things rarely surpass verbal abuse, and heated exchanges are noticed and reviled by the majority of the involved parties' peers.Physical violence, as far as I can tell, is viewed not only as threat to the involved parties, but to the populace as a whole- it goes from a sort of 'not my problem' mindset to a 'potential threat detected, countermeasures deployed' sort of mindset.>>33491907This, if you'd please. Hetersexuality is one thing, and alcohol is another, but putting the two together carries certain risks...Unless you can't knock up a magical girl or something. I don't pretend to know.
>>33491907I'm going to throw my vote towards this. Man oh man, I love strange and interesting punishments.
>>33491795Changing this vote here for this;>>33491907
>>33492007>Unless you can't knock up a magical girl or something. I don't pretend to know.Kharn suggests that you can, although you could probably bullshit an excuse if you needed to given all the experimentation Strauss did. Why would she put a functioning uterus in? Who cares, evil science! Maybe instead of blood, it shoots shurikens and lightning each month.
>>33491907No, I don't think it would be effective. The way that the girls died had nothing to do with not following regulations or protocol, or even doing anything wrong.The way that they died and the lesson you are trying to teach are in no way related, and does not serve to actually teach a lesson except that death can come at any time, so you might as well live it up.That's the exact opposite of what we want them to learn.Think on the implications of what you're saying first, before blindly thinking it's a good idea.
>>33492060>shurikens and lightningFUND IT PLEASE.
>>33492007You are obviously retarded. That's not how bullying nor herd mentality works. At least not in humans.
>>33492063They still fucked up though and fucking up is never good, regardless of where and how you do it.
>>33492060Leman Russ has kids. I assume it's possible.
>>33492063I don't think that's the way to look at it. It's more of a threat that if they fuck up more they'll get retired. We have no need to pretend to be nice in any case.
>>33492060>shurikens and lightningIgotthatreference.jpeg
Why don't we ask the hat how magical girl get praegnat?
>>33491884obviously they have been enslaved by the D.That happens in anime, right?
>>33491907[x] This.Also we need to get on >>33491835 asap.
>>33492123Probably hand holding and intense Luminous.
>>33492130Not in magical girl anime.
>>33491874thank you, kind sir and/or madam, though the question was previously answered
>>33492063 No. It tells them to stop fucking around, or they'll be dead, just like these 24 people.
>>33492150But anon-kun! Girls don't have dicks!
>>33492090Yes, they fucked up, and yes, they need to be punished. But reminding them that they could die at any time, even when they're following all of the right protocols and regulations, isn't going to reinforce their adherence to the rules.All it does is remind them that they only live once and they might as well enjoy it before it all ends suddenly one day when they're eating lunch with their friends at a cafe.>>33492108How is it a threat that they will be retired if they fuck up? The girls who died weren't retired, they were killed in a terrorist attack that bypassed all safety protocols.All they see are girls who died with no warning, who were following the rules and still died without warning.
>>33492178You didn't specify, anon-chan.
>>33492007Tribal mentality is a hell of a thing. I've seen just-hired employees get completely snubbed by their colleagues because they parked in the wrong spot.
>>33492176>It tells them to stop fucking around, or they'll be deadHow? The 24 girls died not because they were breaking any rules, or doing anything obviously stupid. How were the people in that church fucking around?
>>33492185I think it's more to show these Giles that this isn't a game and this isn't an anime. Shits serious and you could die. Don't fuck around. Those who still fuck up will have to report to our bedchambers for reeducation.
>>33492185actually, they don't see that at all.All they get to see is the grieving families. They're not going to be the ones opening the letters.
>>33492178Ha ha, Herr Strauss can fix that don't ya know! Probably. But I'm positive Madaraki can, if not Strauss. At any rate, we should ask Kharn to confirm.
>>33492185>Isn't going to reinforce their adherence to the rules.No, but it will remind them why there ARE rules in the first place and why sticking to those rules is a good idea.
>>33492215My wish is to become a magical futa-girl, said the officios most popular member
>>33492232>Those who still fuck up will have to report to our bedchambers for reeducation.As if that's a threat, they'd love that,
>>33492232I thought she was trying to show she's -not- Kharn. That sort of thing doesn't help her rep.
>>33492256Oh no, watch-wearing dildo is to be taken literally. Rolex, for her (dis)-pleasure
>>33492253>why there ARE rules in the first place and why sticking to those rules is a good idea.Sticking to the rules didn't protect the girls that died. In fact, the rules had absolutely nothing to do with how and why these girls died.This is a meaningless gesture.
>>33492185>they might as well enjoy it before it all ends suddenly one day when they're eating lunch with their friends at a cafeWhat? MGs don't just trip over a chair and die, you pretty much have zero chance of actually dying unless you're put on the active roster and even then if you work together and don't fuck up there's nothing to worry about. This is pretty much a one off thing with some many at once because of Oriko.
>>33492263Kharn only banged blonde lesbians, were going for straight girls, and only for official business
>>33492289>>33492290Shut up already. What's been voted for cannot be changed. Too late to complain.>>33492306All Evesors come in wearing blond wigs.
>>33492289Fair enough, I see your pointCan't change the vote now though
>>33492241No, but they'll know what it's about anyway. Gossip and all that.>>33492314>Stop discussing things that have to do with the plot
>>33492306She banged Wendy.
>>33492290>This is pretty much a one off thing with some many at once because of Oriko.And Oriko is still at large, as is her teleporting, Witch-Fire blasting, Prophet Ackbar! of a Culexus, and magical girl fanatics. All of who are targeting the 9th Officio and the Church right now.
>>33492314Nonono, they all need to wear pink ones
>>33492306Nope. Kharn banged everyone. She was an equal opportunity lover.
>>33492352They don't know that. All they've got to go on is Kharn.
>>33492337(Wendy isn't a natural blonde, like all American girls)
By the way, we need to start carrying around Kirika. Never know when we're gonna need her again.
>>33492290I think the idea behind the complaint is that while generally speaking you need to screw up somehow in order to die as a meguca, in this case that did not happen. Which also means that in this case there is no "don't be like this"-lesson in the punishment, since the dead did not screw up and were just accidental victims.Still, I don't think its all that big of a deal. Assuming the girls are not total sociopaths, seeing grieving families will likely be a nasty punishment anyway. Its just not as fitting a punishment as it might first seem once you think it through.
>>33492372Can't we just pull the sword from the shield whenever we want? We have done that with golden weapons before.
>>33492368That's what I was getting at, yes.
>>33492416Not sure: The Deagle will ALWAYS be there when we need it. The other golden weapons aren't so convenient.
>>33492416>whenever we want?No, we can't decide to do it.It happens by accident, because Chiaki is not guaranteed to get what she wants from her Shield; for that we need Braids.
>>33492448The Deagle finds us, not the other way around.The other weapons... Well, I don't think we've found one we're not supposed to have yet.
>>33492390>Its just not as fitting a punishment as it might first seem once you think it through.Yes, and the problem is that most people don't think things through before posting support for an idea that catches their fancy.
>punishment detailThey also have to tell us the names of those boys. They need to be neuralized. With a .50 AE to the face.
>>33492337I get the impression that it was more a case that Wendy was present while kharn was fucking one of wendy's friends.We've never heard the fulll story about that, and I'm not sure I wanna.
Have we ever checked to see how many greifseeds are rattling around in our sheild?
>>33492462Yeah. But Chiaki seems to carry the DEagle around more or less constantly now, so Braids is around if needed.And I am pretty sure Chiaki pulled the katana from the shield in Siberia, even though she had not put it in there, implying that any GW we have "officially" collected can be summoned by the shield.
>>33492482Well, to be fair it still works better than Chiaki "famously insubordinate, drunken and lesbian Matsuda trying to discipline eversors for drinking and fucking.
>>33492485Clip their balls and make them magical "girls" too and form the 'castratus' division. Also what happens if a boy makes a contract? Ask Cubes this.
>>33492528boys physically can't become MG's in MGNQ.
>>33492544It's okay, when I'm wearing a skirt I'm a grill
>>33492492We should ask Braids what the most bizarre thing in our shield is. We already pulled a huge robot from there, so odds are theres other craziness there too.
>>33492544They become cyborgs instead.
>>33492563A stone mask.
>>33492522>Chiaki "famously insubordinate, drunken and lesbian MatsudaThat was Murderface.Chiaki Matsuda is a watch-wearing dildo who does her job, beats people into a bloody pulp with OGRE ARMS, saves the lives of her subordinates, and takes Waifu Specials to hospitalized girls.
>>33492557Great I've always wanted to suck a grill's cock.
>>33492528They cannot. Otherwise they would've been used as meatshield long ago.
So. What are you all doing while you wait for the Moonbunny to post?
>>33492528> Also what happens if a boy makes a contract?Magical Things.
>>33492589Can't or won't? Fisticuffs McLargehuge did pretty well welding Magical Girl weapons. Maybe boys just make monsters.
>>33492649>What are witches.Srsly the only reason that there are no Magical Boy is because of the source material. This IS Japan we are talking about afterall.
>>33492649Boys can certainly use GWs (anyone can apparently). They just cannot make contracts. Heck, non-meguca girls can use GWs too (see Oriko). It remains to be seen if Oriko is going to transform into a demon too.
>>33492682Cubes needs to figure it out. We have a shortage of dick around this joint and morale is suffering just as kekaiku
>>33492682>It remains to be seen if Oriko is going to transform into a demon too.it's a possibility, but I suspect Ahriman has a different setup to the Golden Weapons we've encountered previously/Not that most of them have been terribly consistent to start with.
>>33492716Megucas have existed since ever. This should have happened long ago.
>>33492820More lie Homora
>>33492745Yuu is not exactly brimming with demonic energy, and yet Kilgore turned into a demon. It might be that if a normal human uses a GW enough, they are corrupted into a demon or some other monster and what Ahriman wants does not matter.
>>33492844But Ahriman was corrupted into a Lord of Change-esque bird monster before she died. It doesn't matter if the user is magical or not.
Magical Trap Noir Quest when?
>>33492844I'm guessing that was the corruption thing that the GWgirls were talking about, and results of excessive exposure to it.Ahriman is a sorceror, and it seems like she has a certain amount of control over the wielder of her staff.
>>33492844>>33492872She changed after sacrificing 100 of her own MG's to Pinky, Killgore did something similar.the difference lies in that Ahriman was very much in control and Killgore went batshit insane.
>>33492897The control is subtle, and not quite full possession, but given time, it might be that it could become a permanent bond.It's likely she's using Oriko's hatred of Chiaki as a bridge to control her. Which is why Kirika is potentially such a powerful counter, because it puts what Ahriman wants at odds with what Oriko wants.
>>33492841Homos are the best. Everyone loves homos.
>>33491786 >>33491793 >>33491796 >>33491907You pull out your empty metal ashtray from one of your desk drawers and plant it on the desk surface - and it's as you light up a cigarette that you start with the black envelopes. Taking your time not only to sign your name, but also to read through each envelope's contents. No, you can't bring their daughters back, or sweeten the deal they're already getting - you doubt the money really makes that much of a difference anyway, when you've lost someone like that - but at least you're doing your best to respect their passing. By taking each envelope as seriously as they're supposed to be - no mere pieces of paperwork to sign and then hand over to someone else, but as the last boon a Magical Girl can grant their families after they've gone.By the time you've finished signing and re-sealing the last Black Envelope, the better part of an hour's gone past, and your ashtray is sporting ten spent cigarette butts swimming in black ash.It's also around the tenth Black Envelope that Misaka slowly clambered out of bed, smacking her lips and rubbing her still-closed eyes - before trundling over to you and climbing up onto your chair. You could only blink as she curled up on your lap, like some sort of oversized bipedal cat - never once opening her eyes fully, nor giving any evidence that she was at any point fully awake or aware of what was happening. The black leather boss chair is certainly big enough to accommodate you, sure, but...Well, she did sneeze from the cigarette smoke you've been inhaling, so you had to kill the one you were smoking and cease for the rest of the duration. Grinding out a half-spent one amongst its burned-out brethren, before continuing on your quest to defeat paperwork.[1/2]
>>33493108It's here, then, as you put your pen down and absentmindedly run your fingers through Misaka's hair - giving the pile of Black Envelopes a wary glance - that an idea suddenly hits you. An idea that'd take care of the Black Envelopes AND discipline a bunch of Eversors that had the smart idea to let some unauthorized personnel walk in.Your first instinct is to call Sayaka up to bring the Eversors in for censure, but you remember that she woudln't be in until after lunch - self-training and meditation, she'd said. That would leave Kyoko. Officio comms placed her at one of the Eversor training halls, apparently taking care of newbie training."Yo, Murderface! What's up?" Kyoko greets you from your laptop's screen, all smiles and cheer as usual - that is, until she turns back towards her trainees, all of whom had been tasked to run laps around the large, expansive training hall. All of whom looked just about ready to just drop, tears streaking down their faces besides sweat. "DID I TELL YOU FUCKERS TO SLOW DOWN?!" Your best friend roars. "NO CRYING! NO BLUBBERING! KEEP RUNNING! THIS IS PT! I'LL PT YOU ALL UNTIL YOU FUCKING DIE!"Even from here, you can feel the fear coming from the trainees. No, not fear - sheer, sphincter-clenching terror. "FUCKING PT YOU ALL UNTIL YOUR ASSHOLES ARE SUCKING BUTTERMILK!"A moment more, and the red-haired Eversor turns back to you, grinning as she wipes her own brow clean of sweat. "Sorry about that! Sayaka-chan wanted me to take over for today, and she didn't want me to be soft on 'em! Anyway, yeah, what's up?"I think you can go easy with them a bit. They're just trainees still, after all.Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?
>>33493145[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?[X]Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.
>>33492893Only in your deepest, most amazing dreams
>>33493145[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?
>>33493145>[x]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?And then call them in.
>>33493145>[X]Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.>[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?Mostly the 3rd one, but speeding things up and doing both might be good.
>>33493145[x]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?[x] Ask her opinion on the punishment idea.She's a trainer, so she'll know whether the punishment will work, or if it will actually backfire.
>>33493145>[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?
>>33493108Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?
>>33493145[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?Whew a little late to the party but i made it, so anons from deculture ask it appears that if we max our affinity with dildoes we get some neat Gun-fu
>>33493145>[x]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?
>>33493205That's cool anon.Chikuwa is on the way.
>>33493145>[X]Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.
>>33493145>[x]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?>[x]Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.
>>33493145>Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?It's a good idea, but more information will allow us to assess their punishment more accurately.
>>33493145>[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?let's see if they have a record of insubordinate
>>33493145[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?we know they invited some guys, but what else?
>>33493145>[x]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured?If the incident is sufficiently bad,>[X]Ask her to send up the squad you need to discipline.I don't really think we know enough about Eversor training to be telling Kyouko to ease up on them.Maybe we could ask if they're alright/if we should make sure the infirmary's got plenty of open beds?
Praytell, how does a ravaged anus and buttermilk have anything to do with each other? Like, your ass will be so deeply dicked that they will yearn to draw in any fluid resembling semen?
>>33493145[X]Ask her about the squad itself, first. What does she know about the incident that caused their need to be censured
>>33493247>I don't really think we know enough about Eversor training to be telling Kyouko to ease up on them.of course not.Kyoko is drill sergeant. You don't tell the drill sergeant how to do their job.
>>33493346>Kyoko will never get all up in your face about how you're not in tip-top shape>She'll never bellow, "WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMB-NUTS?!"
>>33493424"show me your war face" banner when?
>>33493452SHOW ME YOUR WAIFU FACE
>>33493296Perhaps Kyouko thinks Drill Sergeants yell incoherent stuff.
Alright, pausing thread for now! Sorry about the slowness in posting, the weather's been really uncooperative as of late. We'll have a new thread tomorrow night! Thank you for everyone's participation, feedback is always great!Just one writeup for tonight, and then questions answered before I go to bed!
Magical Juggernaut Heather Crunch versus Patient Gardener Dahlia Marigold...So this is it, huh?I was expecting something more GRAND and MAJESTIC for the Seventh. Like the Taj Mahal.Not some Chinese monastery. It's not even that big. And it's certainly not that fancy, either. Nice decor, though.I am even FURTHER let down with the almost total silence of this place. I do NOT enjoy silence. And it speaks volumes about a TOTAL LACK of kung fu fighting. Truly, TRULY disappointing.BUT... All is not yet lost! For this humblest of sanctuaries can yet redeem itself! By assisting ME, Heather Crunch, in... In......I don't know what it is, but I have the UTMOST CONFIDENCE that they will know what it is I must be assisted with! A confidence expressed with my cocksure stride through the main entrance, my posture one of LIMITLESS CHARISMA as I enter the foyer! My SMILE, as I come face to face with the Spiritual Liege, BLINDING in its-"Who you?" she snaps, -snaps-, at me. "What you doing here?"I pound my fist to my chest and speak clearly, "I am Heather Crunch, Eversor Rank Leader of the Sixth Officio, and I have come seeking guidance!""Go away! You two hour early!" Hah! Like that's a good enough reason to delay!"I am being PUNCTUAL! It is a VERY GOOD QUALITY for someone like me to exhibit!" THE CRUNCH TRAIN IS NEVER LATE!She covers her ears. "Aiyah!" she shrieks, "Shut up, noisy girl, you give Xiaomei headache! You sit outside and wait!" She points back the way I came. BUT I CANNOT GO BACK, ONLY FORWARD!"JUSTICE DOES NOT WAIT FOR-""Outside! Now!" she cuts me off. My voice is louder, yet hers manages to rise above it somehow!"But-""You not listen! It one of many problems you have! Go outside and sit!"But I must put my foot down! I cannot wait any longer! "I seek training RIGHT N-""Enough! This your training! Sit outside!"...You should have said so in the first place![1/8]
>>33493488If you insist.
I take my leave and seat myself on the polished wooden floor. If sitting is all that it takes, then HEATHER CRUNCH WILL SIT! Still as a statue, quiet as the TINIEST MOUSE!...It doesn't feel like a challenge though. It's too easy. I could be -doing things- while sitting. Important things such as even MORE training! Or making AMENDS to those who I have WRONGED! And yet I can do NONE OF THESE THINGS SITTING DOWN! It feels so wasteful!I stare intently at my reflection in the polished wooden floor, thinking deeply. Wondering what I should devote myself to doing during this ordeal...Aha, I have it now! I shall compose an -anthem-, an anthem to ME! To honor my GREATNESS for when I have completed these trials and been born anew!I can see it now... A sweeping orchestra. The opening replete with violins and trombones. Trumpeters blow their horns as the pace picks up. Drummers march and cymbals clash! THUNDER RUMBLES AND THE GROUND ITSELF SHAKES!"SAVE US HEATHER CRUUUUUUNCH, hmm hmm hmm hmm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!" The lyrics need some work, but it's a start. So next would be-"Aiyaaaaah! Stupid girl not know when to shut mouth!"I know it's not that great without the instruments, but that is unnecessarily harsh. I must explain myself clearly to the Spiritual Liege, and I do so, stating, "I haven't finished it yet, BUT WHEN I DO IT WILL BE GLOR-""Xiaomei not care!" she interrupts. Why does she keep doing that? "You go outside, work with Dahlia! Put stupid girl like you to use!" The girl extends a finger to the east, to an unremarkable door. I suppose that means this person is outside, then."YES, MA'AM!" I call out, saluting sharply! Then I turn on my heel and MARCH outside the way I was showed, EAGER to learn what this Dahlia person would teach!"You do everything she say!" she calls after me, then yells, "And be nice or Xiaomei make you so sorry!"[2/8]
The smell of flowers ASSAULTS my nostrils as I step outside. A field of flowers fills my far-seeing faculties with fancy fragrances. Somebody, somewhere, has TOILED LABORIOUSLY to create such a splendor.But it -still- pales in comparison to ME!"So yo'uh the one givin' Plum-Blossom a hahd tahme," a voice nearby drawls slowly. Walking out from behind a row of plants is a woman in a sundress and a straw hat. Even for one such as myself, it takes a moment to put together what she's saying."Are you Dahlia?" is my cautious inquiry."Ah'd prefuh ef yew cawlled meh Miss Marehgold," she says back, a folded parasol in her hand. I believe she just asked me to call her Miss Marigold.I stand tall and bellow -proudly-, "I am Heather Crunch, Eversor Rank Leader of the Sixth Officio! It is -nice- to meet you, Miss Marigold!"And Miss Marigold is examining me, scrutinizing me like a fine work of art! "Hmm..." she muses, eyes bright, "Ah think Ah see what needs tah beh duhne."...Oh! Impressive! I am -awestruck-, for I did NOT expect to find the answers I sought on the first day! "Amazing..." is the only fitting thing to respond with."But befo'ah that," she says, holding up a hand to my hat, "Ah can't haylp but notice the flowahs in yo'ah hat."Haha! She likes the hat! "It is a VERY nice hat, is it not?" I boast."Mmhmm..."...She's not looking at the hat, is she? As though her voice came from far away, Miss Marigold tells me, "Roses symbahlize beauty. Deep pink ones lahke these mean 'appreciation' and 'gratitude'." She looks back to me, smiling, "Es the'uh somethin' yo'uh grateful foh, Miss Crunch?"They just came with the costume... But she looks like she wants a response, so I proclaim, "I am grateful for this chance to redeem myself, to become a better person and make RIGHT what I have wronged!"Miss Marigold keeps smiling even as she says, "Is that all? How disappointin', Miss Crunch."[3/8]
"Disappointin'?!" Have I already failed?She shakes her head, speaking reassuringly, "Yew shouldn't worreh about it. Shall weh get stahted?"Without waiting for reply, she turns about and heads away. I quickly follow behind, deeper and deeper into the maze of plants.I think I saw some of them move."Yo'uh task foh the dhey es to pull weeds," Miss Marigold's voice -snaps- me out of my reverie, and I dutifully listen to her instructions. "They'ah resiliehnt thangs, so yew need to te'ah they'um out bah the root."I grin widely and salute smartly, and -then- I reply loudly, “Understood! I will –not- let you down!”"Good, good." She sounds pleased. "Ah’ll beh back come evenh'nin to evalhuate yo'ah progress." With the task given, Miss Marigold leaves me by myself.And thusly, THIS is how Heather Crunch works towards her redemption! Kneeling in the muck and getting her hands dirty! The sun blazing overhead! The tenacious weeds hiding their roots deep underground to escape the HANDS OF JUSTICE! HA! I wouldn’t have it any other way!As the lady informed me, a PLAGUE of invasive weeds invaded this Eden. Perhaps the task was simply too arduous for someone of her delicate sensibilities. Perhaps it is fate – fate that I, Heather Crunch, restore this field to its pristine glory! Though the earth tries to swallow me, and dirties my wondrous garments, I will not relent! I grasp the offending plants near the base and RIP them out of the ground. I HURL them behind me, into an open space. It grows and swells into a pile, as I DIG OUT the most stubborn weeds by the roots. I am the EPITOME of CAUTION as I DUTIFULLY AVOID harming Miss Marigold’s plants.My hands are grimy and disgusting. And yet it is FINE! It is absolutely fine for me, for I can already –feel- myself becoming a better person. Better than yesterday, better than I was a minute ago, better and better every second, ALWAYS STRIVING FORWARD! NOTHING STOPS THE CR--WHUMP-[4/8]
I barely felt anything while my face was pressed into the mud. And in spite of how much I struggled, I could not pull myself up! I try to wrench the hand off of me, and yet it WILL NOT BUDGE! WHO could feasibly keep Heather Crunch down?!"Ah must apolahgize fo'ah mah rudeness," comes Dahlia's drawling voice, "but Ah needed yew to stop tearin' up mah sunflowahs, and yew didn't seem to he'ah meh shoutin'."Miss Marigold pulls me back up - she's got a really strong grip - and after wiping the dirt from my eyes, I survey the damages. I did not realize it until it was pointed out, but these are -not- dandelions I was pulling. The is a rather conspicuous amount of upturned soil in this sunflower patch I was just in. How mortifying! And here I was so -proud- of myself earlier.I try to apologize, and yet, "I did not intend to do that," is the best I can give.Miss Marigold believes me, reassuring me, "Ah'm sure yew didn't. We'll try agaihn tomorra'."Thank you. "Tha... That would be nice, yes." That was not a thank you. Say thank you! SAY THANK YOU!"He'ah, please allow me to show yew the way out." I can't tell if she's offering to show me out of here, or demanding it. I'd rather not dwell on it, so I nod along for now.She's quiet the whole way back, and I don't really have anything to say. Not during the walk. Not when we return to the temple. Not when she waves me off.The whole day feels -wasted- upon me. I have FAILED at improving myself, and I have NOT done any good. This has been a decidedly UNGLORIOUS day in my life, and it is starting to bother me. I need to do something to clear my head.I think I'll run around town. Perhaps -there- I can find somebody to assist. Or perhaps some time out of the stifling sanctuary environment will help me clear my head. Yeah, I'll be able to focus better after that.It is as I enter the nearby town that a CHILL runs down my spine.[5/8]
>>33493500thanks for running Deculture
How... How odd. And foreboding. It feels as though I am being followed. And -yet-, when I turn to look around, I see absolutely nothing there. Either things are really starting to get to me, or somebody is REEEALLY good at stalking me. And that I am being stalked by somebody.I start jogging away, trying not to look suspicious, to see if the feeling persists. One block, two, three... It's still there. Even in the middle of this almost empty street, with little more than a few shops and a white van, I still feel as though I am being pursued. I hear no engines over the relative quietness, only my own heart thumping at a nameless dread....Waaaaait, that's an unmarked van. This is exceedingly suspicious-The back doors of said van FLING open as a pair of people pop out! Pink-haired twins in china dresses, arms outstretched and beckoning me into the dark interior of the vehicle."Heyyyy, Mighty Heroine Heather Crunch!" teases one of them in a cheerful voice that sets me on edge, "there's candy in our van!"...What? I try not to show any confusion on my face, as I expected her to say something more sinister for... I don't know why.The other girl, a demure looking one, adds, "It would be lovely if you'd join us." Both of them gesturing towards the van. It's rather obvious that they want me to get inside, but to what ends?I'm getting a feeling of intense bad vibes from this. Something horrible likely awaits if I step inside. Something terrible. Something scarring.Something that cannot be allowed to go unchecked. I couldn't live with myself if I chickened out here and somebody else suffered for it. Heather Crunch is NOT going to sit idly by when evil sits in plain sight!And I must shamefully admit to myself, I'm rather excited!"Haha!" I give my best smile as I laugh some confidence back into myself. "Know today that -you-" I gesticulate towards the both of them as I clamber inside, "have bitten off FAR MORE than you can chew!"[6/8]
[6/8]One of them has the -gall- to giggle, to which I make a show of gritting my teeth! Grrrr! She's the one that climbs in after me and shuts the doors, trapping me in the lightless interior. It is shortly afterwards that the engine revs to life, followed by a sensation of movement as the vehicle starts moving.Yes, bring me to your secret base. Your wicked schemes will not avail you today! Not while Heather Crunch is here to stop you!-dink-"Oh, poo."There's the familiar sensation of something sharp being shoved into my arm, and then being -repelled- by my UNBREAKABLE RESOLVE. I GLARE accusingly at the direction of the offender, whose dim outline shows an easily recognizable implement in her hands, minus the tip."Did you just try to jab me with a syringe?" I query ANGRILY."Is it too late to say no?" she asks in return. Interesting."...Not really," I reassure her, wagging my finger in her grinning face, "but it would be EXCEEDINGLY SUSPICIOUS if you did."That didn't sound natural, though. Best to change the subject."So, WHERE is the promised candy?" I ask, as though it were exceedingly important. The grinning girl in the china dress pulls out a small capsule from somewhere and holds it up for me to see. I can almost make out what look like a skull and crossbones on its surprisingly large surface."It's in this pill right here~," she chimes.I fold my arms and make a show of pouting. "I don't like pills," I say firmly."It's science candy," is her response as she conceals the skull with her fingers."VERY WELL!" I yell, giving the appearance of appeasement as I hold out my hand, "Give it here!" I don't even look at it as I pop it into my mouth.The fiendish girl titters, "Gosh, I didn't think it'd be so easy," while rifling through a sack for what are undoubtedly terrible implements. Yes. Let them think that I am going along with it. That they have the upper hand. That I am not READY for them![7/8]
I discretely spit the offending thing into my hand, and conceal it in a pocket.They are in for a VERY rude awakening! It's only a matter of time before the Crunch Train plows RIGHT through them![8/8]Thanks to Deculture for letting me writeThanks to Cooldown for letting me use some of her characters and coming up with Heather trying to compose her own anthem and being sent to work with Miss Marigold. And accent consulting on Miss Marigold. And the unmarked van/china dresses part. That was also her idea.Thanks to Archival for suggesting weed pulling as something Heather could screw up
>>33493500This was mentioned a couple of times:"Dildoes can teach Chiaki how to Gun Kata really well, and maxing out your affinity with her gets you a neat surprise."So, what do we need to actually do in order to learn Gun Kata and max our affinity? Are we well on our way to becoming dildoish enough, or do we need to do a few more threads of paperwork?
>>33493296Full Metal Jacket reference.
>>33493500Thanks for running, it really takes my mind off of bad happenings!http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Magical%20Girl%20Noir%20QuestThread has been archived!>>33493604I'm sort of worried about Heather now... I don't want to be but there it is.
>>33493626Well, the opportunities for it will come up! It will concern certain favors or suggestions that Dildoes may pose, or even just something Chiaki may allow Dildoes to do on her stead. It'll be subtle but you'll definitely know about it when it's there in front of you!
>>33493717What about Social Links Events for Braids or Murderface? What do we get for affinity with them?
>>33493717Are we eventually going to be able to impress all three of the stooges, or will the choices be in conflict with each other (in other words, choose 1 of 3 scenario)
>>33493500Thanks for the thread! Finally got back... But I probably won't be able to follow tomorrow's thread either :( Oh well...
>>33493575Really Amber? "there is candy in our van" really?i cant believe she actually did that.
>>33493829Good to see you, I really missed the cutesy stuff today.
>>33493801>swordfight with OrikoOf 13000 Homuras watching,13000 were impresssed.
>>33493786For Braids, you get better Shield control (along with the vehicles you store in your Shield). Murderface is a bit of a spoiler, but let's say it's going to involve controlling the bad side effects of the procedure and Golden Weapon usage.>>33493801Definitely the former.
>>33493946>(along with the vehicles you store in your Shield)So Chiaki cannot access vehicles stored in her Shield unless Braids is assisting?
>>33494034Chiaki can't control them as well as Braids can.
>>33493604Are you even writing these? Sounds more like everyone else does.
>>33494065we need Braids to find them, and we need Braids to supply in depth vehicle piloting information.We could PROBABLY drive the quad bike without her, if we could find it.
>>33494112I think Dildoes is the one with the knowledge to operate vehicles. Or atleast Dildoes was the one who knew how to fly the MiG.Braids has telekinesis, (so she can control vehicles and such remotely, such as when she levitated the MiG in mid-air, allowing it to launch off without a runway).
>>33494034Chiaki can, but she'll have difficulty with it for the most part. Braids can get to the vehicles easily (she's the kind of girl who organizes the inside of her Shield) and can help Chiaki control them via telekinesis, like the MiG.
>>33494187>Braids... the kind of girl who organizes the inside of her ShieldOh, poor little thing!
>>33493700She'll live.>>33494104Yes, but with a lot of help. Except for the one with Russ. That was Cooldown.
What if Pinky lives in our shield, we just can't get herout easily without racking the time stop. Maybe she's a Madoka witch and we trapper her barrier and all inside the sheild. Time stop is simply pulling it out.
>>33494104Getting some help from peers is fine. Especially for a big project like this. If the writefags didn't talk we'd get Star Wars EU.
>>33494306That wasn't help. That was the whole damn thing.
>>33493500How many satellites does the 9th own?
>>33494350I think it's important to thank people that help you out.
Decubutt has gone to sleep, so I guess the rabbits are out to play, or the owls are still around, or whatever.>>33494350In what way? I was there while he was writing it, and unless he was having someone else ghostwrite it while he sent me snippets of it, all we did was brainstorm with him. And it's pretty cool of him to credit us for that.>>33494385Wouldn't be surprised if it were several, though this isn't a question for me, sorry.
>>33494443Why did Wendy plant lewd dreams in Misaka's head?
>>33494350Most of a story is the actual writing. Deculture could send me all his notes and my MGNQ would be absolute garbage. If attarou wrote it and it's enjoyable (which it is, in my opinion) then he can claim it as his no problem. Since this is mostly about the Heather Crunch capslock train anyway, it's not really accurate to imply he didn't contribute the lion's share of the work into this piece.
>>33494496She wanted Dream Murderface to be accurate. Or Misaka secretly realizes her big sister is lewd.