Posting from a New Computer Edition!You are Shax Gloombreaker, Goblin Chief, Adventurer, Sword Saint, Dark Queen of your own Horde, Ruler of all three Thrones of Light, Conquerer of Valenwood, Allonces' Master, Sea Mom's Mortal Blade, Owner of Several Pairs of Nice Boots, and a little bit afraid of ghosts. Which are apparently what this giant castle you are in front of is filled to the brim with. There is a seal around the doors that bars several types of magical creatures from entering, apparently, so the faerie friends you came have wished you good luck. Supposedly there is a silver mirror in here they want that they would like you to get for them? You dunno what they'll give you in response, but it had better be something!You have:>10/64 BtB exp>17/64 MSiF exp>49/56 CyRCTHaM exp>Shax's Stuff! So you can keep track: http://pastebin.com/U3hKZfAd>Shax Company!: http://pastebin.com/mZgVD5yH>Shax Ability Tree: http://pastebin.com/aBfqv1vP>I'm the boss! Points: 0>Pearls: 7Knocking politely on the door, you wait for a moment for a response. "What are you doing?" Sitri asks, striding over to the thing and tugging on the handle. "I don't think they'll just open the door for a guest, Shax."The door swings open. A spectral butler bows and then vanishes.After you stop hyperventilating for a moment, you walk inside. Doesn't seem like you've made any enemies yet! A quick look around reveals no ghosts you know of and then after that priority is met you see that you're in some sort of foyer, with entrances all around.>Seek the servant's quarters to loot them blind!>Seek the throne room!>Go try to find the kitchen, obviously.
>>33722800>Go try to find the kitchen, obviously.Why did you post with only one prompt, Chief?
>>33722800>Go try to find the kitchen, obviously.Hey Chief
>>33722800>find the kitchenAlso, I finished that thing you told us not to do: http://imgur.com/FYUhnyUStill working on a picture of Shax cosplaying as a ninja turtle though.
>>33722919White underbelly! She looks pretty reptilian there. Still, looks great! I like it. Thanks so much!Anyway, three votes for kitchen. Writing.
>>33722919Holy goddamn. Great work anon! But shame on you for making Shax lewd too.
Your Auntie once said that you could judge an entire people by the kinda food they eat. Naturally, you asked Auntie what kinda people that made goblins. That is when she swatted you with a wooden spoon, so you assumed that was the wrong question. Anyway! To properly judge the contents of this castle, you must first assault the larder!"Nost, Rund! Let's go hunt for their kitchen!" You proudly point upwards at this declaration, hoping you didn't point at a ghost and made it mad so it would swoop at you with a spooky noise. After ducking down in case you did, you look back at the two boys.Nost is picking his teeth with some kinda bone, "Alright, boss. You got any idea where it will be?"With a sigh, Rund lifts the visor off his helmet, "If she did, we wouldn'ta have been told to go hunt for it, now would we? Anyway, just follow my nose. It is world renowned for sniffin' out kitchens." You don't believe it, but you figure you'll follow him a bit.Xab waves at you and says he and the cybolds are going to go hunt for 'assets valuable to the continued growth of my people' whatever THAT means. Sitri follows you along, and so does Blaise."This one had better keep an eye on those deviants," Whoop mentions softly, and goes to follow Xab. Two parties, then!Going through the castle at a ramshackle pace, you don't have any luck finding the kitchen so far. Mostly just halls and rooms and trophy rooms with boring loot. Rund obviously has no idea where he is going, and you're worried that you're taking too long and making the ghosts angry.>Your spookometer is at 1 out of 10! Don't let it hit 10!Where do you wanna head to?>There is a big doorway at the end of this hall that has gotta be a dining room. Kitchen should be near that, right?>There was a door under some stairs. That's gotta be a storage area, right? It's gotta be connected to the kitchen!
>>33723146>Door>Under stairsBASEMENT HO!
>>33723146>There was a door under some stairs. That's gotta be a storage area, right? It's gotta be connected to the kitchen!
>>33723146>There is a big doorway at the end of this hall that has gotta be a dining room. Kitchen should be near that, right?Always go for the double doors. They're more fun tom kick open!
>>33723146>There is a big doorway at the end of this hall that has gotta be a dining room. Kitchen should be near that, right?The allure of food should not be underestimated.
>>33723146>>There was a door under some stairs. That's gotta be a storage area, right? It's gotta be connected to the kitchen!Your mechanic backfired? I want to know what happens when the spookometer hits 10.
The morning is slow, and I am not!Writing.
>>33722919You monster.You wonderful, wonderful monster.
Naturally, as a goblin, you are interested in small, cramped, dark spaces. They make you feel pretty dang comfortable. So when you spotted that door under those stairs, you just knew you had to check it out! "Alright, boys. We're going to that tiny door there.""Uh, boss? I don't think I can fit inside that," Nost says, embarrassed. He had been putting on weight, and he was never a small lad to begin with. Sitri slaps him on the back encouragingly, and Nost says some unkind things about him. Blaise just tosses her hair with a 'hmph'.You shrug, "Doesn't matter, I'm checkin' it out anyway." You stride over to the door and kick it open without a care, bending over to look in. Definitely seems like some kinda storage room. You hear a strange howling noise. And a ghost dog comes leaping out of the doors, causing you to fall over on your back in shock!>Your spookometer rose to 2!Blaise smacks it in the nose with a snowball, and Rund starts frantically wailing on it while you try to find the strength in your legs again. Jeez! That was really scary! "G-g-good work, boys..." You say, uncertain, as you stand up. The ghost seems to have vanished into ectoplasm. "Hey, Rund. Go check that storage room out, alright? That's a boss order!"Rund shakes his head, but you nod at him, and then he shakes his head again. You tell Nost to make Rund nod, and Nost puts two hands on either side of Rund's head and makes him nod when you give the order again. A few moments later and he tells you the coast is clear. The room doesn't have much in it besides ingredients. Rund is chewing on a raw onion which you say is gross, but he says is good for his heart or some other total LIE."Hey, Shax, check this out," Sitri raps he knuckles on a wall, and grins at the sound it makes. Shortly thereafter, you find a switch and flip the wall open. Through the passageway is a sudden drop to some other room. It seems shiny.>Back to the storage room and kitchen!>B-but muh shiny
>>33722993I actually think she's more cute with a white underbelly
>>33723470>B-but muh shinyShax lives for shiny
>>33723470>B-but muh shinyS-shiny...
>>33723470>>B-but muh shinyShiny!
>>33723470>B-but muh shiny
>>33723470chief tone it down pls, i spooped my pants and the dog is angry at me because i get angry at him when he does it
>>33723470>>B-but muh shinyAnyone who chooses another choice is a communist.
>>33723548Why does your dog where pants?
>>33723611WHERE does his dog WHY pants, anon.Jeez!Anyway! Give me a d20 check for reasons I cannot reveal.
Rolled 18>>33723638here you go
>>33723650AW YEA- >>33723664fuck
>>33723664I implore you to reconsider!Writing.
>>33723664blehwe need to get some more im the boss points for this in the future
Will holding Blaise's hand lower our spookometer?Just uh, asking, in a pinch
>>33723707>>33723324>>33723470Hey Chief, I was gonna throw this on the ask.fm but I figured I'd just mention it here:Can't you just upload that fanart folder to imgur and make an album? I don't have much experience using it or anything, but it seems like you can just mass upload.
>>33723771Only one way to find out!
Well... you said you wanted to check out the kitchen, but surely a little snooping around wouldn't hurt, right? Besides! It was shiny! "Hey, guys, check this out! It's shiny!" Nost and Rund are almost immediately there with you, picking down into the drop."I dunno, boss. It's a bit steep," Rund says, running a finger over his chin. "Seems okay to me," Nost says, still a bit greasy from the spell Sitri cast on him to fit him inside the door, "B-but you can go first."Before too long, Sitri comes back, hunched over in the tight crawlspace. "Hey, I checked out the rest of the passages. All dead ends. Looked down there yet?" You shake your head, "What's keeping you? Here, I'll go first." Sitri slides down the drop. You don't hear anything else from her."Sitri? Hey, Sitri! Where you at?" No reply, "Hey!" You yell, "Yell back at me!" You practically shouted it, but there is no response.Nost looks at Rund, "Well I ain't goin' down there." Rather than wait on one of those two cowards, you jump down the hole. No time to wait if she's in danger!You drift down to land in a pile of gold coins. Jeez, this can't be real! There is so many! It's almost like your vault back in your crystal palace. You wonder where Sitri, is, and taking a glance around you see something snake out of the coins. It's get three heads, each with a woman's face on it, and their eyes are mouths, and her mouth has fingers for teeth! Gross!>Your spookometer raised to 4! Dangerously spooky!You instinctively throw your sword at it in a blind panic, and it cuts the serpent in half. Oh thank goodness it is dead and isn't coming back. Nost falls on top of you with a crunch. Rund lands close by. Crawling out from under the heavyset goblin, you take a look around. Still no sign of Sitri. Blaise lands gracefully shortly thereafter and takes a look around.Gotta find that goat girl!>Investigate the dead thing.>Run in a blind panic.>Go through the nearest open door.
>>33723924>Run in a blind panic.Sounds perfect to me!
>>33723924>Investigate the dead thingNoooo, not Sitri! You were too lewd (mostly by proxy) to live, too bard-y to die!
>>33723924>Go through the nearest open door.
>>33723924>Investigate the dead thing.
>>33723924>>Investigate the dead thing.Please don'tlet it have eaten Sitri
>>33723924Have our maid investigate dead thing while we look around for Sitri.Also>Dangerously spooky!Is this a reference to that furry chart? Specifically the version where the last one is replaced with DANGEROUSLY CHEESY?
>>33723924>Run in a blind panic.Sitri is missing and only blind panic can save us now!
>>33723924>Investigate the dead thingI may or may not be making a lewd video game, featuring a homage character of Shax.I'm sorry if this bother anyone, please don't hit!
>>33724104I won't hit if you tell me more.
>>33724040>Tfw mansion boss is a skeleton
>>33724104You're going to need to give me more information than that, AnonI need to throw money at you and then be extremely ashamed of myself for doing so
>>33723924Nuh-uh. Sitri is gone. YOU DON'T FUCK WITH OUR FRIENDS YOU STOOPID HOUSE!>Begin the whirlwind of death, this house is going to be a parking lot now!
You dare peek into the chopped up bits of a monster??Very well! Give me a d20 check!
Rolled 2>>33724175I ain't afraid of no ghosts
Rolled 14>>33724175Fuck this house!
>>33724193You gotta be faster if you want to make love to a castle like this, anon.Writing!
>>33724181>>33724187>>33724191Glad to see OWQ luck is back.
>>33724260Clearly we need to rely on Blaise some more.
>>33724260All the ghosts are scaring Shax's luck spirits away.
You take a big gulp and walk over to the snake. It didn't, you know, eat her, right? You remember the wiggling teeth fingers and get a big fat case of the heebeejeebees as you approach it's body. What would being chomped on by that feel like? Gotta be mega gross.When you get to the corpse, you see the hole made from you throwing the sword is filled with writhing arms, from the shoulder down. On the knuckles of the 'hand' part of the arm is stringy black hair. You quickly scrabble backwards.>Spookometer is raised to 7! "What's got you so scared, boss?" Nost walks over. One ofthe arms flings itself out of the snake and grabs onto Nost's throat. He makes a noise, doubles over. When he stands back up straight you see fingers pulling his lips back from inside his mouth, another set of green fingers growing and wriggling in larger size from his gums.>Spookometer is raised to 8! Watch out!'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' You realize you've been saying this non stop, and have a pearl in your hand.Blaise puts a hand on your shoulder, "Stop. Don't blast him to bits. It is just a possession. I'll deal with it!" Chanting a bit, Blaise throws a dark pearl of her own at the corpse. Tendrils wrap around the large snake like body, and seem to drag it into nothingness, one tentacle reaching out and pulling the arm off Nost. His deformities quickly fade."Hey, Nost, buddy, you alright?" Rund says, tentatively approaching him. Nost sniffs and rubs his nose with his arm."'Course I am dummy," The goblin says, wiping at his eyes. Ain't no one gonna call him a crybaby, though.Laying in a pile of gold coins where the body was is Sitri, unconscious and mostly naked. Well, she's usually pretty naked anyway, but moreso now. You quickly put your cloak around her and pick her up.Where to, Boss? The drop above is too high to get to without using your mask.>Open door! Check it out!>Go to a closed door and burst through!>Follow your nose to food!
>>33724487>Open door! Check it out!Sitri search!
Rolled 11>>33724487>Follow your nose to food!rolling to resist fear
>>33724487>>Go to a closed door and burst through!Assert dominance over this place by being super loud and noisy!
>>33724487>Go to a closed door and burst through!I have a feeling if we go for the food we'll just end up in that cliche "full course evening meal on the table in an abandoned house" trap.
>>33724487>>Go to a closed door and burst through!
>>33724487>>Follow your nose to food!And tell Blaise that she can hold our hand since she's feeling scared.
Rolled 15>>33724487We know where the loot is, and we're at the foundation.Level the place, we'll scrape up the gold from the rubble.
Bursting through a closed door??Give me a d20 for spookiness levels!
Rolled 1>>33724691We'll beat this house yet!
>>33722800>>49/56 CyRCTHaM expIt would be really cool if we could grab Courage of the Non-Goblin while in this scary place.
Rolled 1>>33724691H-here goes....
>>33724706Fuck.My 5th 1 in about 15 rolls in this quest. I may be cursed. At least I've rolled a 20 too, r-right?>>33724709>>33724717Oh Jesus.
>>33724706>>33724709>>33724717Holy crap. These rolls are so bad they must wrap around to being good.
>>33724717>>33724709>>33724706I can't breatheThis house2 spoopy
>>33724729Anon why so slow. Why. WhY SO SLWO QHBOJBALS UAHLIFASL
Now she's lost it.
The house has seen our attempt to assert dominance and has responded in kind.
Rolled 14>>33724761It wouldn't have mattered, there'd be a critfail anyway
>>33724761It doesn't matter anyway, crits override anything else. And we had two. Wait if you get two crit failures on one roll do they stack to make the result super terrible?
>>33724706>>33724709>>33724717Ahahahahahaha holy shit
>>33724790As long as it doesn't involve anyone (Sitri) dying, it should. Make it so.
>>33724706>>33724717>>33724709Spookometer is going to explode!
>>33724776>shax gets so scared she kills her friends
Clearly the ghosts are affecting our dice. That ain't fair.
>>33724790m-maybe they override each other?
>>33724817yeah, they merge into a hypercrit
>>33724707Seriously, this idea is looking more badass by the update.You can overcome your fear, Shax!
>>33724802Shax should just cut that spookometer, it doesn't deserve to live.
>>33724802Chief, do you watch Kamen Rider?
>>33722800Just chiming in to appreciate the picture :3
You gotta find that dumb mirror and loot and get outta here! You kick down a door and see four skinny things with no heads and arms for legs carrying Sitri down a hall way. What. When the door crashes to the ground, they spin around, throwing Sitri against the wall and bounding at you, screeching 'pretty belly rip it open eat it up' over and over.>Your spookometer rose to 9! PANIC PANIC PANICWhat if that is Sitri than what is in your...? The Sitri in your arm's head spins slowly in a circle, making a full 360 degree rotation, a the back of her head caving in to form a mouth, and two arms sprouting from it. You drop the thing on the ground, yoinking you cape off in the process. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelll o o o o o SHAX" The creature says, landing on the arms from the back of it's head, entire body snapping and creaking in odd angles as Sitri's simulacrum splits into a tree of hands and arms, each finger having a toothy mouth under the nail, and the voices speaking simultaneously, "Do you want us to sing for you?" It whispers in a squeaky, child like voice.>Your spookometer is off the charts!"N-no thanks," You reply, before falling down to your knees."Shax!" You hear someone cry, but you're not sure who because your vision is white. You feel a steady hand on your shoulder, and look up. It's a turtle in a leather jacket giving you a thumbs up. "Be cool, babe. Everything is going to be alright." Wow, he's suave. You stand up, and realize you're on a beach wearing a polka dot frilly swimsuit. It's a good time to relax, and forget about that nightmare you had!"Shax!" You feel a sharp pain in your head and snap your eyes open. One of the hands is biting into your skull. You realize you're screaming. Blaise brings her axe down and cuts the beast in half. She throws a lance of ice down the corridor, skewering one of the monsters, and readies herself next to you.>Grab Blaise and cry!>Cradle sword and cry!>Make a cave entrance and panic off to your castle!
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!
>>33725109>Cradle sword and cry!
>>33725109>Panic smash everything! Must save Sitri!
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!More Blaise points!
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!>Cradle sword and cry!Grab both of course.
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!She can use her maid powers to save us.
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!Explain to her how this place is, quote, '2 spooky'.
>>33725109>Make a cave entrance and panic off to your castle!SUMMON THE TURTLES
>>33725109>>Grab Blaise and cry!> You feel a steady hand on your shoulder, and look up. It's a turtle in a leather jacket giving you a thumbs up. "Be cool, babe. Everything is going to be alright." Wow, he's suave. Turtle Fonz makes everything better.
>>33725109>>Grab Blaise and cry!She's a pretty good maid after all...
>>33725109>>Grab Blaise and cry!
>>33725109>Grab Blaise and cry!3Spooky5me
>>33725109Spam turtles, lizards, and explodey birds. Fire Lasers!
>>33725219This is it, Shax. The time has come.We must be tall.
Alright!Give me a d20 roll for maid service levels!
Rolled 2>>33725306Let's see if our luck continues.
Rolled 4>>33725306Blaise will boost us back to our recent competence, I'm sure of it!
Rolled 13>>33725306nat 1 inc
>>33725319Anon...anon why...I want out of this fucking house!
Rolled 10>>33725319why anon why.
I hate this stupid place why did we come here
Rolled 3>>33725319Fuck me. Why did I roll
Rolled 11>>33725314>>33725319>>33725320This. Fucking. Castle.
>>33725314>>33725319>>33725320WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENINGSHAX, PLEASE
>>33725314>>33725319>>33725320That's not fair. That's just not fair.
This house is a fucking curse on our dice holy shit. Why did we come here? Chief stop making us roll, please.
Rolled 12turns out shax is fucking terrified of ghosts and nothing will make it better
>>33725319>>33725320>>33725314It's a good thing I don't treat crit fails as life or death, anon, 'cause damn man.Writing.
>>33725319>>33725320Stop rolling. Forever. Burn all your dice and never use the /tg/ roller again.
>>33725314>>33725319>>33725320There is no salvation, the dice are cursed in this unholy place. We must retreat. Evacuate. Leave. Why are we even still here? The house as all but won.
>>33725393The Dice love making poor Shax scared.Either this is going to be all a dream or Shax gets a moe character flaw from all of this.
>>33725319THIS CASTLE IS AN EYESORETHIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE THIS CASTLE
Rolled 235>>33725415just because someone rolls bad once doesn't mean they roll bad always
THIS IS WHAT WE HAVE WROUGHTWE LEWDED SHAXWE WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO LEWD SHAX
>>33725466We must sacrifice the lewd drawfags to appease the dice gods.The lewd art can stay
>>33725466SEXUAL HEALINGWhy else would maids exist?
>>33725393Average roll of the entire thread is 8. No more rolls pls.
Rolled 6>>33725498shit rolls won't always happen
>>33725512And yet the average further drops.
Rolled 15>>33725512Still, after digging this deep into a hole with dice, relying on said dice to dig us out is kind of dumb
>>33725512Anon pls stop.
>>33725512You don't know this quest very well, do you? This quest has had, on average, way more shit rolls than good.
>>33725498If you only count the rolls that made it into first 3, the average becomes 4. Why is this place such abject suffering? I know our dice have historically been shit but I'm pretty sure this is a new low.
Rolled 1>>33725527i'm going to roll until i fix the dice
>>33725565The dice are fixing you.
>>33725565Oh god why. Anon pls. I... I can't take this anymore.
>>33725565You need to stop man. You're going to kill us all.
Rolled 19, 5, 17, 6, 4, 5, 9, 13, 19, 19 = 116Rolling
>>33725618Still no 20 not a single 20 all thread.
>ITTAll these 1's man. All these 1's.
Rolled 12, 6, 9, 15, 8, 12, 3, 2, 2, 3 = 72>>33725618I'll join you.
Rolled 9>>33725618Huh, I kinda expected a one.
>>33725618Ladies and gentlemen, this array at roughly a 12 average is the single best string of voting all thread.
really hoping Blaise is a monster nowdon't want real Blaise being mean to Shax
>>33725466SHIT, I DID THIS.UHUHOKAY I THINK I FIXED ITTHERE'S NOTHING LEWD ABOUT SWIMWEAR, RIGHT?
>>33725702I think maybe Shax will just panic and cling to her too much for her to do anything.
>>33725702Maybe Blaise is 2Spookyed as well and we can be 2Spookyed together.
Rolled 16, 15, 18, 16, 16, 10, 20, 17, 8, 14 = 150>>33725727Only one way to find out.
Oh dang it is Blaise, she's strong and your maid so she should be fine. You stand up shakily and walk over to her, "Hey, Blaise, th-thanks for helping me out back there, you're a pretty good maid sometimes, you know? So I just wanna lean on you a bit and maybe cry some, alright? That's an order or something so just get over here okay?"The maid stumbles over and falls down. Wait, no that isn't how it is supposed to work! From the ground, two ghosts raise up, each pulling a spectral sword out from Blaise's body. She weakly turns to face you, with a soft smile on her mouth. "Hey... Shax... you're gonna..." You don't catch the last bit. You quickly scrabble over to her and lean close to her ear. "Carry that weight." What's that supposed to mean?? You shake her roughly, telling her that she can't be dead! "Stop, please, hard to breath. I'm just paralyzed. Ow."A lady floats from the ceiling on a chair, sipping from tea. "Oh, here is the invader." She makes a motion with her hand and a bunch of ghosts come pouring out of the walls, swarming over you and holding you down. "Your fear really let us home in on your location, you know? I was wondering what was going on. We haven't had guests in a long, long time." The ghosts start to drag you towards the middle of the room, others pulling away the gold coins to reveal a big trap door that they pull open. "I'm going to need you to tell me all about how you came to enter this castle. I should have an enchantment to prevent that sort of thing, and a good loyal knight killing anyone with a shot at it."The ghosts drag Blaise, Nost, Rund, and Sitri with them. Before too long, you're in a big bedroom with the doors bared, guarded by two ghost minotaur looking things, and two zombies in very fine armor. Your items are nowhere to be found.>Make small talk with the guards.>Ask them if you can go to the bathroom.>Yell at them and berate them.>Over come your fear of ghosts with sheer force of will then attack them.
>>33725799>>Over come your fear of ghosts with sheer force of will then attack them.SHAX STRONG
Rolled 10>>33725799Screw this place, start breaking everything.Also, test our light magic on the ghosts.
>>33725799>BathroomWe're scared as shit and I don't want this story to go magical piss realm.
>>33725799>Ask them if you can go to the bathroom.
>>33725799>Over come your fear of ghosts with sheer force of will then attack them.Yes!
>>33725799>Small talk with the guards
>>33725799>Make small talk with the guards.Zombies aren't spooky. And even if they are ghosts, they're ghost *Minotaurs* and Minotaurs are pretty cool, right?
>>33725799>Over come your fear of ghosts with sheer force of will then attack them.FUCK GHOSTS
>>33725727That reminds of of Fate.
>>33725799Do we have pearls?Summon that glarestone if we do(it might banish ghosts since it's celestial light) and then just go wild with summons. If not, we still got explodey birds and minor lasers.
>>33725799>Over come your fear of ghosts with sheer force of will then attack them.Fuck this entire castle
>>33725799>Make small talk with the guards.Does anyone really want to fight with the dice in this godforsaken castle? With our luck we'll get 3 nat 1s and manage to die.
>>33725799>Make small talk with the guards.Attacking really is a bad idea right now.
Rolled 1>>33725949Attacking is only a bad idea if we roll badly, and that's not really likely at this point
>>33725799>Yell at them and berate them.In a delirious sort of fashion.
>>33725799>>Ask them if you can go to the bathroom.pls ghost
>>33725971I'm sorry, you were saying anon? Not likely, eh? HM?
>>33725799>Make small talk with the guardsOvercoming the fear sounds like it would require a roll. I hope you understand why I'm hesitant to pick that choice.
>>33725971I'm sorry, what were you saying?
>>33725971HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. But seriously no though.
>>33725971>if we roll badly>if we roll badly>roll badly>nat 1
dice i've rolled this thread: 1, 3, 6, 1, 1i think i'm done rolling
>>33726022Get out of here, you witch!
Rolled 3, 8, 11, 10, 5, 17, 14, 20, 12, 15 = 115>>33725971The school swimsuit didn't work!
Rolled 16>>33726022Yeah, you should stop rolling.
You choose to overcome fear! That, uh. That's gonna take a d20.So. Here's hoping.
Rolled 15>>33726079Pls pls pls
Rolled 2>>33726079God damnit people, I swear.
>>33726094>>33726095>>33726096Shax is officially done with spookiness.
Rolled 8>>33726079>>33726095Finally our dice are working again
>>33726185It must've considering I'm the guy who drew the original pic, the edited one, and made that roll.That or the dice gods are simply as fickle as ever.
>>33726215Imma go with fickle. Even lewd Shax is much cuter than she is lewd.
>>33726215I know what it was. The dice gods were as scared of ghosts as Shax is.
>>33726095They fucked too much with her friends and Shax just hit that moment of pure terror where she just sort of snapped and became eerily calm.
>>33726356The break down afterwards is going to be pretty brutal then.
How are we supposed to attack them with no items? Is it finally LASER's time to shine?
>>33726393For the ghosts.
You sit there for a few moments. They took you prisoner. They took your stuff. They took your boys. The more you think about it, the more mad you get. After a few minutes you get up and start pacing around. They took your stuff! That's your stuff! You looted it fair and square! Why do they think they can just come along, be spooky and creepy, and take your stuff? You worked hard for it! What did they do? Spook someone? That's worthless! Any ghost can do that! You had to knock over cities for all that loot! And don't even get started about your boys! Those were your boys, not some ghost's spook target! You're fuming and stomping around the room now.One of the zombies clears it's throat, "Uh, miss? Could you keep it down?""No. You keep it down!" You shout, "Who do you think you are, tellin' me to keep it down! This is outreegis! I can't believe it! You let me talk to that ghost lady right now!""I, uh, can't let you do that?" The zombie says, looking nervously at his friend, "And I really must ask you to keep it dow-" You cut him off with a light spear through the head, blowing a hole through the wall, and taking out the minotaur ghost next to him. The other two don't even have a chance to react before you blow them to smithereens, too.With a third pearl, you summon four turtles. Screw it, it is time to wreck this place up! You hop on the back of one of the turtles, and crash through the doorway. Let's go find your belongings! That includes Blaise and Sitri.Crashing through the halls isn't very quiet, and ghosts continually appear. Luckily, your turtles blast them to nothingness with lasers whenever they do. You quickly run into Xab and Whoop. The fishman had apparently been fending off ghosts with his holy magic, and had even enslaved some to help him out. It isn't long till you find Nost and Rund in a bedroom cell as well.Now you just need to find the ghost lady and the girls.>Smash to the throne room!>Smash to the master bedrooms!
>>33726521hahahaha.... ha... yeah Shax is going to have nightmares for like the next year.
>>33726530>Smash to the Master Bedrooms!
>>33726530>Smash to the master bedrooms!Obviously!
>>33726530Bedrooms, throne room is obviously a final boss encounter area.
>>33726530>Smash to the master bedrooms!Oh boy
>>33726530>Smash to the master bedrooms!I just think it would be more funny if they were in there?
>>33726530>Smash to the master bedrooms!Make's sense, they put us in a bed room.
Rolled 16>>33726530>>Smash to the master bedrooms!
>>33726530>>Smash to the master bedrooms!Can't let them rest on their laurels
>>33726530>Smash to the master bedrooms!
>>33726530They took our belongings but left the Pearls? Are they magically linked to Shax or something
>>33726643Pearls are magical!Also if you can't hide seven pearls in your outfit, you ain't trying.
>>33726643Undead probably can't touch those things.
>>33726687Oh good, they didn't take our outfit then!That would've been lewd.
>>33726687W-where did she hide them? In her cleavage?
Rolled 1>>33726742In her buttPrepare for nat1's
>>33726742she can't even hide shadows in her cleavage anon
>>33726742>>33726730You guys have got your heads in the gutter!Anyway, writing.
>>33726742Cleavage, shoes, gloves, skirt. Shax is a goblin, they're good at stowing stuff.
>>33726788Wow, you certainly called it.
>>33726788YOU BOW DOWN AND APOLOGIZE TO THE DICE GODS RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
Rolled 47>>33726788Definitive proof that the dice gods hate Shax being used for lewds.
>>33726797Huh.So THAT'S where she hides them.
>>33726797>>33726849Yall are temping fate, the Dice Gods will not be pleased at this sacrilege.
Rolled 15>>33726958It's okay. Shax has broken the curse. The real rolls will be good from now on.
>>33726990Do not tempt the dice gods.
Ok, just got here and admittedly couldn't bear to read through all the FAIL... Just tell me the current game plan is to get our people back and then atomize this castle and every thing (corporeal or not) in it. It's all cursed.
Rolled 2>>33727027Except the mirror! Breaking mirrors is bad luck.
>>33727027I don't know what everyone else wants, but that's damn well what I'll be voting for.
You were held in a bedroom, you figure that the rest are probably held in a bedroom, too! Your caravan of turtles and cybolds wreak havoc as you tear your way through the castle, smashing through walls and doors without regard for structural integrity. You're fed up with this whole place. It doesn't take you long to stumble into your gear, suiting yourself up and grabbing Blaise's axe and... maid outfit as well as Sitri's stuff before continuing your quest through the sleeping quarters. Finally, the large engraved doors of the master bedroom appear before you.You personally hop down and cut the doors open and walk in. There is a large skeleton knight in the room. Blaise is tied up in some sorta shift on the bed. "I see you've come to rescue your friend, goblin. But beware! I am the strongest swordsman the great dark empire ever produced. Born from an orcish general and a human pitslave, never defeated in battle, I was trained to be-" You cut him off by charging at the guy. To his credit, he IS a really super good swordsman. But four laser turtles, half a dozen cybolds, a crab armed fishman cleric, an assortment of goblins, and a really angry girl with a very large sword prove too much for him, and he is quickly overwhelmed.Untying Blaise, you get her maid outfit back on so no one could see her underwear with kitties on it. She takes her axe back with a stuttering thanks, and you ask her if she saw where the boss went."Of course I didn't, you dummy." She huffs, you huff back, "Sorry. I mean mistress. Still, there is only one place she can really be, isn't there? The throne room." Quickly, you grab a large silver mirro in the room before leaving.With that in mind, you search for Sitri, finding her playing a flute in a bedroom for a bunch of ghosts who are listening in. "Oh, hey Shax. I think I charmed these guys.""We're girls," The ghosts say, giggling.Sitri frowns. "Of course.">Go to the Throne Room in style!>Who cares level the place.
>>33727233>Go to the Throne Room in style!
Rolled 5>>33727233>Go to the Throne Room in style!
>>33727233>Who cares level the place.Fuck ghost ladies. Fuck ghost Throne Rooms. Fuck ghost castles.
>>33727233>Who cares level the place!
>>33727233>Who cares level the place.If there is but a single speck of this castle left after we're through, we have not obliterated it hard enough.
>>33727233>"We're girls," The ghosts say, giggling.Yes.
>>33727233>Go to the Throne Room in style!We can level the place after.If we don't get no loot it's a waste of time!
>>33727233>>Go to the Throne Room in style!
>>33727233>Who cares level the place.Also, ditch/break the mirror, fuck that creepy fairy who sent you in here without a warning.NEVER TRUST THE FAE
>>33727390Dude, we've made a promise.Breaking a fae promise is worse than trusting a fae.
>>33727233>Go to the Throne Room in style!First you pillage, then you burn.
>>33727439We never promised that we wouldn't raid the kingdom afterwards though
>>33727439Anon pointed out last thread that the binding promise was only to "Find the mirror." or something equally vague. We've done precisely that. We can safely smash it.
>>33727233>Go to the Throne Room in style!Can't accidentally break the mirrorBy which I mean lootCan't accidentally break the loot
>>33727444Dude, ALL the loot is Cursed. Capital "C" Cursed! It ain't worth the long term fuckery of hauling to some poor unsuspecting bastard to ditch it with.
>>33727496I'm not convinced that any item we bring back from this place isn't going to fuck us over every time we try to use it. And half the time when we don't.
>>33727439It's alright.>>I'm sorry, don't yell at me. I wanted you to try and find my mother's mirror in the castle. It's a precious family heirloom. Pure silver, unicorns on the sides, and a roaring lion at the top. It would be hard to miss. Please?We made no promise to give it to her. We only promised to find it, which we did.
>>33727439We looked for it (not specifically but close enough). We didn't find it. Promise not broken.
Alright! Throne Room time! This is it. The last d20 check of this thread.You can mess it up, it's okay. Just determines how flashy Shax's entrance is!
>>33727486When? Did I skip a paragraph or something?If we just level the place without finding it first we break our promise.
Rolled 16>>33727542fuck it
Rolled 1>>33727542Roll 1.
Rolled 6>>33727542Alright, let's see if the curse resurfaces.
Rolled 17>>33727542Another nat 1 because fuck us
>>33727543We can find the bits of it in the rubble.
>>33727583I love this thread. Shax is baaarely competent.
>>33727583I want off this ride.
>>33727583It's not even funny at this point, just frustrating.
Those ghost are fucking powerful. They cursed the thread.
Rolled 17>>33727583And after I rolled a 16 too...Why do the dice gods ruin my fun.;_;
>>33727637Speak for yourself.
>>33727542Please stop making us roll. You're killing us.
>>33727583Eh, it's fine. Flashy entrances are dumb anyway.
>>33727583I ain't even surprised or mad. We'll just add that much more vehemnce when we atomize the place.>>33727543We have the mirror anyway, don't we? We grabbed a large silver mirror when we got our stuff back.
>>33727583>That Crit fail on entry.Of course.
>>33727657Next time someone suggests we go to haunted *blank* we slap them.
>>33727637No, it's pretty funny.
Rolled 13>>33727674Don't worry, when we someday get to important roll-well-or-die we'll roll well.
Rolled 16>>33727542it is time
>>33727583Let me guess, our entire party is already possessed?
>>33727583Man Shax is going to cry so hard tonight.
>>33727692>You're fed up with this whole place. It doesn't take you long to stumble into your gear, suiting yourself up and grabbing Blaise's axe and... maid outfit as well as Sitri's stuff before continuing your quest through the sleeping quarters. Finally, the large engraved doors of the master bedroom appear before you.Where does it say that?
Rolled 15>>33727718next time, I don't upload long as gifs and just post
Rolled 4we critfailed 4 of the 6 rolls this thread
>>33727743Blaise can sit by the bed and hold her hand until she falls asleep, no problemo.
>>33727583Good thing this one wasn't important!Writing.
>>33727743It could be worse.We coulda shown Allonces our lame side too
>>33727760>"Of course I didn't, you dummy." She huffs, you huff back, "Sorry. I mean mistress. Still, there is only one place she can really be, isn't there? The throne room." Quickly, you grab a large silver mirro in the room before leaving.It was actually when we found Blaise, my bad. But still, I'm -fairly- certain we have it.
>>33727767I like how Blaise has gone from incompetent rival to more competent servant.
its cause i mentioned the game, isn't it?I'm sorry! I wasn't even sure how lewd I was going to make it!
Okay, why do people want to break the mirror beyond just being frustrated with our luck tonight and being spiteful for making a promise?Even if we don't break a promise, we still piss of a fucking fairy.
>>33727809This is what happens when you resist Destiny. All your rolls get penalized to ghosts and back.
>>33727809And Shax has gone from competent rival to pretty much useless? Man I hope someone challenges us for the Chiefdom after this mess.
>>33727833The fairy was blatantly scheming to use us. Some petty revenge is fine.
>>33727859It's beyond petty. It's pointless.
>>33727833>we still piss of a fucking fairy.Weren't we planning to raid her, kill her king/queen and jack her kingdom after this anyway?
>>33727890No, we were planning to go back to the main plot and have fun there. I think?
>>33727879Destroying some ubercursed item is never pointless, and every single thing in this castle is just that. Really she should thank us, by now it probably steals your soul if you look in it or something.
>>33727890No? Why would we do that?It's because your mad at having to fulfill a very fucking minor promise. Jesus Christ.
>>33727915If it's so cursed, why don't we give it to her and get our petty revenge that way?
>>33727854Well really we haven't changed at all Shax is just weak to magic and fear.
>>33727811Oh man, what game is this?
>>33727915If you can prove that maybe I'd listen but that's just a very half-assed assumption.
>>33727934Um no, I was actually pretty serious. Far make shit neighbors and I thought the plan was to start establishing an independent base of power here for when we inevitably defect and have to weather the wrath of our dark former-masters.Personally I'd prefer an Island Turtle and our home kingdom, but that's probably not practical...
>>33728029We completely turned down establishing a base here in favor of ascension and god slaying.
>>33728029We have an entire fucking castle in our own personal demi-plane. You can't beat that for a place to hang out of operations.
>>33727980We fucking need "Bravery of the Non-Goblin". If nothing else this entire catastrophe has made that damn clear.
>>33727958Because if we give it to her, she'll reward us with something maybe. And whatever we're rewarded for bringing it back will carry the taint of the curse. Any time it comes up it will destroy the dice.>>33728007I have no proof but the luck in this thread. If that doesn't convince you, then that's that.
>>33728046Yeah, we're going to take over the Hungerer's plane of avarice.
>>33728046I don't see those as mutually exclusive and your forgetting the surface dwelling goblins nearby that we still have to bring into the fold.
>>33728102We don't have to do anything. This isn't that kind of quest.
Rolled 1>>33728069Is your argument really come down to dice superstition?What, if I roll a 20 or a 1 right now would that change your opinion?
>>33727986Game in pick is Harem Collecter, its a fun little lewd rpg that has a lot of satire.The game I may or may not actualy makes is intended to be similar.
>>33728124You're kinda not helping your case... However valid it may be.
>>33728124IT KEEPS HAPPENING.
>>33728124It's probably silly, yes. It's pretty much entirely dice superstition. And yet, there it is.
Rolled 8>>33728157it's just normal RNG, this thread isn't biased towards 1
This thread has been the most I've laughed in, like, 3 threads. Why do people want to stop the failure train? It's hilarious.
Fae can't lie, right? Can we just ask the fairy why she wants the mirror? If she gives us that stuff about it being her mother's again, we can just ask if there's any other reasons.
>>33728124It's not superstition if it's true.
>>33728178Actually it could be considering how funky /tg/ dice can be.
There it is! The throne room! You order your party to charge the doors, with you up front of course. The turtle barrels to the door, slamming into the frame, and... Gets stuck. The frame bends in place, and holds the turtle fast as you slam into the top of the wall. Ow! You rub your head when suddenly you get jolted forward and slam into the wall again. And again. When the fourth turtle collides into the jam, it finally breaks through, a spray of rubble shattering around you as the shelled creature spins into the room, having retracted fully into the home it carries on its back.Standing up on quivering legs, you point your giant sword at the chair lady, who is hovering in a decorate room filled with knights. At least, you try to. Your sword bobs and weaves up and down as your legs wobble. "H-Hey! I'm Shax! Gloombreugh." You double over, panting, before standing back up. "And I'm super mad at you in particular. Let's fight. So I can beat you up."The lady in the chair seems to be drinking wine now, instead of tea, and swishes her glass as she looks at you. "Where did you get those turtles from? It couldn't be... did you have magical jewels? You've ascended? How droll! Very well, from one ascended to another, let's fight." She floats upward out of her chair, pulling a rapier out from a scabbard an attendant offers her. a smoky dark trail following the blade. "As a holder of the throne of murkiness, I will defeat you hand-" You have no time for this garbage, and a spear of light is launched at her. She manages to create a shield which absorbs it, but she falls to the ground on her hands and knees. "Good lord what was that?"An ice spear pierces her a moment later. Blaise gives you a wink and a thumbs up. The ghosts in the castle all seem to fade away, as well as the tapesty and finery. Everything in the castle begins to decay and rot.>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!>You're diversifying your demigod portfolio. Sit on the throne.
>>33728469Let Blaise have it. We're a good leader, and besides, her sacred realm is already rubbing up against ours.
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to sit on the throne.D'oh who's a good girl~ You want a treat? :3
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!She's a good maid.
>>33728469>>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!
>>33728196I don't care why she wants it, she withheld it from us and made us do a fae promise without telling us how those work or what she wants to use the mirror for.She tricked us, she ain't getting that freaking mirror.
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!As domain neighbor and minion, her powers are our powers.
>>33728469>>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!And if not, we diversify.
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!Eeeeeeh, Light is better and she DID get the kill (even if it was basically just stolen).
>>33728513You're being unreasonable. She's a fae. She can't not trick people. It'd be like asking a goblin not to steal.
>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!>>33728487Don't tempt the dice gods again
>>33728513That's your opinion and that's fine. Regardless of whether we give it to her or not, it's a good idea to find out what it does and what it can be used for.Also, we should hand it over to Blaise or Sitri before we go incase she tries to jack it from us.
>>33728487Maybe she can upgrade her cozy hut so it's less cramped when we go on vacation there!
>>33728513That just sounds extreme to me.Besides, as I said last thread, good Fae and bad Fae act the exact same fucking way and abide by the exact same rules.I don't think it's even possible for her to not bind us to a promise.
>>33728469So we have 2 or 3 pearls left?
Rolled 16>>33728469>Tell Blaise to get a second throne of darkness if she wants!Even if I want us to be a goddess of light and darkness, making our maid stronger enough to help us in battle would be good.
>>33728593Well, we used 2 to spear those zombies, 1 for the turtles, and 1 for the spear ghost lady blocked. So 3 left.
>>33728612I'd rather branch out into a domain Blaise hasn't already dipped in.
>>33728637B-but what if I want Shax to take a dip in Blaise's domain?
>>33728661It's right next door. She can take a dip anytime she wants.
>>33728581Even if we disregard the promise, she was already suspicious when we learned it from Sitri that she either>shouldn't be in charge of this forest at the momentor>lied about which faction she belongs toAlso what the ogre said about her being scary and the like.I just don't think we should give a mirror with unknown powers to someone who is so thoroughly deceiving us. Even if it's just because she's a fae, it still seems like a risky idea, and we don't want to lose any of our minions.Now we only have like 3 or 2 pearls left, too.
>>33728637We can be the opposite of Blaise and take the fire thrones.
>>33728661She's already rammed her domain up against hers, anon.
>>33728661W-we can find a brand new domain to share anon!
>>33728673Does she have the Ice or Water thrones? We should totally do water too, if she doesn't have it, because seamom is cool.
>>33728671Man, I don't think you understand.Who gives a fuck what she wants the mirror for? It ain't our problem.The only thing that's worth getting upset about is that we were "tricked" and that's it. It's just fucking petty to go full asshole over a promise.
>>33728730Yeah, and if it becomes our problem, we'll just do like we're going to do to dragon lady and kick her ass.
>>33728721I like the sound of water better than fire.
Alright! Looks like Blaise thoroughly won that vote.We'll pick up there next thread! As for now, you get:21/64 BtB exp30/64 MSiF exp62/56 CyRCTHaM expand a Sword Saint point!Also, the Sea Mom will grant you a new skill next thread!Wow!So what do you want your CyRCTHaM point to be spent on?>Back"stab">Grim Dark Veteran>Courage of the Non-Goblin>Advanced Lootology
>>33728673>fire thronesI'd rather go with the water thrones since they can probably over rule the ice thrones. Plus SeaMom would probably be happy if we took the water thrones and started flooding our enemies.
>>33728786>4 hour threadB-but...
>>33728786>>Courage of the Non-GoblinWe have overcome our fears!
>>33728786>Advanced LootologyBit late for courage
>>33728786Whatever is needed for My Little Assassin Can't Be This Cute. I forgot.
>>33728786>Courage of the Non-GoblinWe fucking need it!
>>33728786>Courage of the Non-GoblinNever again
>>33728806It's been four and a half, and by the time I'm done with all these votes...
>>33728786Thanks for running!>Grim Dark VeteranLogically we've just had enough fear-checks to last us a good 10 threads, so there's NO way we'll need CoNG any time soon! It's foolproof!
If Shax and Blaise get married and have kids, will Blaise still be Shax's maid?
>>33728806We're at page 7 and past 300 posts, anon. Better to let it go.
>>33728820That's actually unlocked according to the chart.
>>33728786>Courage of the Non-GoblinShax must never be spooked by ghosts ever again. We can't relive that.
>>33728786>>Courage of the Non-GoblinThis makes the most sense. I don't care whether it will be useful.
>>33728786Courage of the non goblin!
>>33728786>Grim Dark VeteranI want Shax to go full Guts one day
>>33728786>Courage of the Non-Goblin
>>33728855Whoa really? It is so!>My Little Assassin Can't Be This Cute?!
>>33728842I don't know. This vote doesn't seem all that contentious...
>>33728872I really wanna see that next skill but I don't think it'll happen since everyone is spooked.I guess it does make sense given that Shax got over her fear but still..
>>33728855Oh right. I forgot. Sorry about that! I'll figure something out to make up for the vote mishap here.Anyway! Courage is lookin' like the clear winner right now.So we'll say that won!And now, what do you want to spend the sword saint point on?>First we gonna ROCK>I ain't got it so you can't have it>No matter how many cast I break bread with...>Cause I'm right so I gotsta win!Also, you're apparently the 64th best swordsman, now!
>>33728932Skill tree is just a giant joke anyway.
>>33728786>Grim Dark Veterani dont even remember what this is!
>>33728948>>No matter how many cast I break bread with...We're planning betrayal so this is a good idea.
>>33728948>>I ain't got it so you can't have itDefense!
>>33728948>>33728948>No matter how many cast I break bread with...This will seriously help us fuck over the dark alliance. Particularly dragon lady.
>>33728948>Cats Bread BreakIn case fairy lady ends up being an asshole, plus we're gonna go after dragon lady later anyway
>>33728948Whatever was the "fight on dispute fatal wounds" option.We just need to get our cleric to cast healing spells on us while we're berserking and we should be able to survive most insane messes Shax bumbles into.
>>33728948>No matter how many cast I break bread with...Betrayal is in our future. It's the obvious choice.
>>33728948>>No matter how many cast I break bread with...
>>33728948>No matter how many cast I break bread with...
>>33728948>No matter how many cast I break bread with...There's a pretty good chance we're gonna get good use out of that one.
>>33728968Bonus to surviving alone in the wild.
>>33728948>>No matter how many cast I break bread with...Cats are almost as cute as turtles.
>>33728948>No matter how many cats I break bread with...I'll break who you sending me!
>>33728965Yeah, but since we don't get to see the locked trees that means we're missing out on a joke.Not that it matters at this point.
>>33728948Wait, when did we kill a sword saint? Was it that skeleton that was guarding Blaise?
>>33728948>No matter how many cast I break bread with...probably going to need this the most
>>33729082Yep. We cheated and thus got a skipp upgrade.
>>33729082or the cursed knight.the lady probably didnt count cause we didnt technicaly kill her.
>>33729081Chief will probably write up all the jokes we missed if we beg him hard enough when this quest ends. Don't worry.>when this quest endsI made myself sad.
>>33729124We did defeat her though We spared that girl who got charmed by Sitri in the cave too, and we got her rank.
>>33729125Only 10 or 11 threads left. So much will be left undone...
>>33728974>>33729001>>33729013>>33729024>>33729027>>33729029>>33729044>>33729051>>33729055>>33729059>>33729085Please stop my typo it has been repeated so much it hurts pleaseAnyway! This looks like the winner to my untrained eyes.Well. That went faster than I expected. I still have thirty minutes of thread to do!So I'll give you a special chief servicu servicu.Vote on what it is:>An ally at camp got randomly killed, and Bearbreath reincarnates them!>Create an otome game love interest!>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!>Beyto in Valenwood hanging out with not-goblins.
>>33729224>Create an otome game love interest!
>>33729224>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!
>>33729224>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!Fuck yeah.
>>33729224>Create an otome game love interest!Finally, someone to sexually abuse Shax in the name of love.
>>33729238>>33729244>>33729259>>33729262I refuse to accept this because it might threaten my delusional ships.
>>33729224>>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!
>>33729224>>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!Sinclaire!!!! That waas his name, right?
>>33729277>implying Blaise and Shax can't share
>>33729274>>33729277It's probably for Allonces actually considering the other options.
>>33729224>Beyto in Valenwood hanging out with not-goblins.You mean Blaise isn't the love interest [!?]
>>33729224>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!The most competent character besides Bearbreath in this whole quest.
>>33729224>Blaise's manservant in the depths of the wilds!>>33729277Too blatant, I'm not worried. Remember the incubus debacle.
>>33729224>Create an otome game love interest!For Allonces!
>>33729224>Create an otome game love interest!I must know.
>>33729303Sitri has been fine honestly. She's just less combat-oriented.
>>33729304And that blood god we killed.
>>33729303I would say third. Milda has got to be pretty great if she kept the camp running when we were running around in that other continent.
Special five minute vote window now closed! Let's tally those votes.
>>33729368Whoop too.Let's just say he belongs in the "competent" family of characters. An endangered species of this quest.
>>33729224>>Create an otome game love interest!
The love interest can't be for Shax, she already has Blaise.
>>33729403It's growing quickly though. Brokraw (I don't think I spelled that right.) is pretty good at what he does Fetidclaw is as well even if he died that one time.
>>33729430It's for Brokagh
>>33729443So the love interest is Fetidclaw?
>>33729430I think half-orc adventures won.
>>33729430It woulda been for Sitri, but Sinclaire's adventures seems to have won.Writing.
>>33729443Don't you mean fetidclaw
>>33729500No.>>33729493>Sitri>Not Fetidclaw>Or BearbreathAbsolutely disgusting.
>>33729493>Sitri>having guys attracted to herHah!
>>33729493>SitriFug. Can she still get a love interest?
>>33729493Sitri? That would stretch my suspension of disbelief.
>>33729537Of course she can, anon. Their name is Shax.
>>33729537Yes, but they're all girls.
>>33729537I don't know. Sitri seems way too casual for the kind of melodramatic relationship that goes on in otome games.
>>33729534Now now, who said the love interest had to be male?
>>33729526But Anon, Bearbreath already has his cat!
>>33729607Isn't it an otome game love interest?I don't play a lot of otome games but I'm not sure if yuri is very popular in them?I know the non-porn side of the genre is pretty much entirely girl readers in authors but I'm not sure if that carries over into the female-targeted dating sim market.
>>33729537Shax marries Blaise, Sitri occasionally hangs out with them in bed. She doesn't really want romance.
>>33729730She seems like the casual sex and relationships type.
>Sexualizing the ShaxI'm only glad Chef isn't alive to see this day
That's the third bird you've gotten since your mistress got abducted/inducted by that bizarre goblin girl. Apparently, they're going to lead some sort of assault on that haunted castle you had to stop her from marching to as a girl every time you visited the Yrontol estate. How troubling. You really wish you weren't out here in the middle of nowhere.You stand up off the dire kodiak carcass you were perched on, sniffing the cold air. The bear was bonded to a pair of nasty spirit wardens, and killing it should prevent them from reraising the next time you dispatch them. You've been fighting them for four days, dogging your heels as you try to get get away with this treasure. You were hunting in the frozen depths of the Frozen Trenches of Shambla Deliro in hopes of finding an Ice Throne of some kind. The mistress had almost as many thrones as the goblin, but as far as you can tell more of the same kind is far better than having several of different kinds. Unfortunately, the hunt had been in vain. There was no throne in the trench, even in the winding ruins of a long passed country. But, you did find something interesting. A gift that you're sure your mistress will enjoy. It wasn't easy to get, but you're glad you did.The icy wraiths were relentless, their persuit drove you into the arms of their giantkin frost liches, massive sorcerers who attempted to blast the skin from your body. Only through sheer wit and skill were you able to take one down, being pinned by his partner in the process. Your only resort was to convince him that dispatching you would be a waste of his time, that the power vacuum you created could be better served in consolidating his now expanded territory. After he left you were able to obtain:>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.>A small black choker, with a cobalt lock. It allows the wearer to resist all mental attacks.
>>33729797>>33729850Chef Gloomeater, Chief Gloombreaker's long-lost brother from another mother
>Chef ShaxIf Shax competed in Hell's Kitchen, what would be her signature dish?
>>33729873>A small black choker, with a cobalt lock. It allows the wearer to resist all mental attacks.Fetishism.
>>33729873>>A small black choker, with a cobalt lock. It allows the wearer to resist all mental attacks.
>>33729873>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.
>>33729873>A small black choker, with a cobalt lock. It allows the wearer to resist all mental attacks.This will be useful for when we betray Squidface
>>33729873But they're both cute!I can't decide between two cute things so easily!Umm, the ribbon. I think some mental attacks fall under status ailments so it's the better effect?
>>33729873>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.Ribbons are cute!
>>33729873>>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.Ribbons are the cutest, indeed
>>33729873>dat chokerGotta protect her from ms. goblin's willy mental charms!
>>33729873>A small black choker, with a cobalt lockShax will get her hands on it, and put it on Blaise herselfSymbolism!
>>33729873>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.Mental attacks tend to be uncommon and the common ones are basically status ailments anyway.
We need to get a non-magical whatever we don't pick.
>>33729873>A small blue ribbon with snowflake decorations. It allows the wearer to be immune to all status ailments.Cuteness beats the fetishism.
>>33729873Sinclaire is kind of a badass.
Sorry, was burying a kitten. Taking vote now.
>>33730180>burying a kittenw-what..? What happened?
>>33730180>was burying a kitten
>>33730180did our rolls kill it
Rolled 13>>33730235That can't be. Rolls can't kill real things!
>>33730235>>33730257the lewds did ityou all are murderers
>>33730207>>33730210>>33730217>>33730232He was trying to break bread with the cat, but the cat broke instead.
>>337302812sadhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jr1c2jlhuGgAlso this is definitely Shax's theme-song.
Alright! Looks like the ribbon won by one vote. Then Blaise will be getting it in the mail soon!Thanks for playing! Thanks for putting up with the critfails. I don't think critfails should be that huge of a deal, so hopefully me not making them super disastrous was fine with you guys. Most people aren't in the thread for that sorta thing, anyway, right? Right?! Anyway! Thank you for reading as well. Yes, even you archive readers! I know not all of you can be current when I'm running, and you archive readers let me run whenver I want by giving me players at all times! Thanks so much!I'll run again sometime this week, but I won't make plans cause when I do it doesn't work out. Expect wed/thurs/sat at the very least, though. I'll announce on twitter when I run, of course!I also started an Ask.Fm because bandwagoning, but you can ask me whatever you want here: http://ask.fm/ChiefGloombreakerHope to see you next time, and have fun!
>>33730393Thanks for the thread Chief! See you next time!
>>33730393It was a fun thread Chief, freaking out over nat 1s and all. Thanks for the run!
Rolled 20>>33730393Spooky ghost castle being spooky was great. Thanks for running.
>>33730393Great thread ChiefAlso, when will we get cute not-lewd ninja turtle Shax?
>>33730493First 20 of the thread and it comes after the quest ends.The spooky castle was just too spooky I guess
>>33730493A fitting end for the thread.
Rolled 3>>33730493>first 1d20 nat20 of the thread
>>33730493Dice confirmed for loving ghosts.
Rolled 77>>33730536A fitting end would be a 1, really.
>>33730563Dice are obviously haunted, and have been this whole time.They're just trying to provide an authentic experience.
>>33730393Given that this is a comedy quest (action comedy to be sure, but still comedy) I totally agree with you on the critical handling. That said, it's still a bummer to see Shax just trip over herself all over the place...
Rolled 9>>33730571I was close with >>33730548Let's try again.