Previous Thread: >>34456843Google Doc: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1TAl_Rh3q0UR3cqX6Pbn-4TnB87BS-GrFrax-ErtOL2E/edit1d4chan page: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/The_/tg/_HeresyContinuing the great tale of the /tg/ Heresy! All fluff, drawfags, writefags, founding legions, and successor chapters welcome!
Uuuuuh. Black Augurs reporting back. There appears to be a huge amount of new content since I left. Can I get a sitrep of what's happened in the last two hours?
>>34462892Gloriaina Class Vessel?
>>34462842Who are these stone motherfuc-...excuse meWHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE HAS BEEN ASTARTES CLASS SHIP SIGNALS AROUND THE PLANET...WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARE FROM THE HERESY?...I will be back momentarily.FOR LAZARUS YOU STONE FACED FUCK!
>>34462842Now Every Legion must havew a Legion Sigil, like the Ultramarines Ultima or the Slitted Eye of the Sons of Horus. What are our Sigils?Pic Related is roughly the Sigil of the Sons of Fire: A Burning Skull. Post-Heresy, the Skull gains Daemon Horns and the Mark of Khorne upon it.
Right there I've cleaned up the Primarch section. Now under your primarch you've got six sections.Appearance, Youth, The Coming of The Emperor, The Great Crusade, The Heresy and Post-Heresy. I've still got everyones stuff that they had in those sections so they haven't been deleted or anything. If you want that information that was there just ask me and I'll dump it.
>>34462842Here's a map of the Dropsite Massacre. I want all the Legions present to mark their sigils upon it so we know who was where when. Makes my job a shit of a lot easier.
>>34462967it would be better to make them larger entries so that they get sub entries for each title, ie overall title Children of Armok, sub entries: appearance, youth, coming of the emperor etc.And drop the PRIMARCHS and LEGIONS titles, and rename them LOYALIST PRIMARCHS/LEGIONS and TRAITOR LEGIONS/PRIMARCHS respectively.will stop everything looking like a wall of text like it does now. You know, better separation.But good looking out Hektor. make sure you save those info's...
>>34462936Something like this for the Life Bringers. Post-Heresy it's placed over the symbol of Nurgle.
>>34462936This.However the wings will be replaced with a symbol of Chaos after the heresy, snakes looking more fierce
>>34462936this is mine
>>34462936Working emblem for now until I can find a better looking skull.
>>34462936I've got no idea what my Legion Sigil is gonna be. A sword? A bolter?
>>34463144Is the Imperial Skull particularly significant? I mostly see it with IG rather than Astartes.
>>34463170a big jerusalem cross?crossed scimitars?
>>34462936Tenative symbol, based on the appearance of Tiran's personal Warbeast.
>>34463175Well, there is no IG at the moment, only the IA, and they use a Spear and Shield Sigil.
>>34463196>>34463144go the way of the SS and its deaths head?or>pic related?some pisa skull that. not nazi.
>>34463144>>34463175The Entombed will use a variant of the Crux Terminatus as their sigil.I'm thinking that because The Entombed are a small legion comprised of terminators, dreadnoughts, and Centurions, with only a few tactical marines, and no scouts or other vehicles, they would work best as a supplementary force to other legions. They would be used as elite shock troops, attaching themselves to the forces of other legions in battle, and accepting field commanders as their temporary leaders.
>>34462936While I am not the primarch of the War Scribes, I would like to present to you all 3 drafts for the War Scribes' sigil
>>34463286Boom, final sigil.
>>34463281you should combine the top 2
>>34462936Not the Primarch either, but this is perfect for the Mastodontii.
>>34463307damn son, thats badass. trying to work on my one, suggestions welcome.
>>34462892is no one going to claim this?it's free!
>>34462936Something like this. I have no image editing skills, but I've always liked how on the Byzantine flag, what looks like four letter Bs are actually firesteels, objects used to strike sparks for making fires. I feel that that fits one of the War Scribes themes, namely a desire to relight the Imperium's flame.I'm not sure about the colors, red and yellow/gold. I was thinking about changing my Legion's colors anyway though, to avoid stepping on the Sons of Fire's colors too much, since they're rather similar. Any suggestions, or do you guys think red and gold/yellow could work?
>>34463372Hektor claimed it as the right of the Warmaster.And is it a Gloriana or not?
>>34463360Here you go.
>>34463393Also, can someone tell me why the Council of Iron, a Traitor Legion, has their homeworld listed as Titan? Did I miss something, cause the Grey Knights are probably not going to like that very much.
So Golgothos is stoic, and posessing of only one emotion: Hatred. He believe humans are gods, sent to purge the galaxy of xeno scum, and is stubborn to the point of foolishness. He is lost in the Eye Of Terror along with 100 Venerable Dreadnoughts, hunting endlessly after Johannes of the Life Bringers.What should I do with Chief Undertaker Erebus, the de-facto commander in Golgothos' absence? Should he take after Golgothos, or contrast him? Also Chief Undertaker was a good title for a second in command, but it feels a bit weak for a Chapter Master. Master Undertaker? Lord Undertaker? King of the Grave?Very much looking for fluff help on Erebus. He's an extremely skilled Apothecary, that's all I've got so far.
>>34463431Grey knights don't existTurn them sideways and the Bs look like Ws.
>>34463393My fellow primarch, might you be interested in any of the icons I posted in >>34463281 for you legion? Or perhaps this one in pic related, as suggested by >>34463320
>>34463415no, but it's based on the designit's customized to be a whole lot bigger and heavily armouredimagine a space hulk if it was a fully functioning battleship
>>34463096better simplified version (colors not correct)
>>34463435Combining Lord Undertaker and Kind of the Grave to get Lord of the Grave. The IoM doesn't seem big on kings, but lords are everywhere. Fits in a bit better. As far as Erebus, make him contrast Gologothos, given that if you don't they seem to be too similar and therefore a case of 'I killed of [blank], but I still want to write that character"
>>34463457Ah, so the Council of Iron recruited from Titan, and I guess it was later destroyed after the Heresy, like most/all Traitor Primarchs homeworlds would be? >>34463481How the hell did I miss all of those. GJ me. Those are really cool, particularly the last one you posted with the sword, gear, and book.I had considered similar symbols, but aren't they a bit too similar to the Dark Angels logo, just with a book? Or do you guys think that'd be enough difference?
How are you lot making these?
>>34463481That looks good. Just the sword and book is too much like the GK, and just the book and cog seems more Ad Mech, so the two certainly work well together, without seeming like too much.
>>34463485So is this the Furious Abyss of this 'Verse?
Anyone got their hands on some nice cog and weapon logos? I ain't got nothing remarkable or striking.
>>34463393hmm but the Silver Cataphracts even have a primarch called Constantine Komnemnos... (originally just constantine)I know you like that, but this one does fit your name better >>34463481>>34463425haha son of a bitch. Accurate, maybe. But son of a bitch..
>>34463547I used Google Search.
>>34463508and on the left shoulder their would be a fist
>>34463547Found the Tricera-sillhouette in public domain.
>>34463525I like Lord of the Grave, it's sufficiently grimdark.Then Erebus is proactive and pragmatic. He is extremely mindful of casualties, and will not commit his companies to risky endeavers. However, he will gladly send battalions to aid the other legions as shock-troop auxiliaries, especially against Xenos. He is stoic and terse like all The Entombed, and no living man has ever seen his face.Is that detailed enough?
I've got an idea for one but I can't draw for shit. It'd be like a howling wolf infront of a blazing sun for the Wolves of Dawn.
So, who want out of his way to remove the quite lengthy story I wrote for their Primarch of the Gorges?
>>34463529its good. I like it. It is quite similar to the DA though. Different enough, but the similarity is clear.But I do think you are missing out on pic related with a name like the Crusaders.but i get you probably don't like that/want your own thing. Thats cool too. >>34463539it fits the universe, maybe thats why it looks like its derivative. Just reminds me of the Brotherhood of Steel. which now makes me see a comparison between you both..
>>34463611Maybe add in some instances when his attributes show, and one or two when he has to do something that goes against his views, and is conflicted over it. Mostly for the sake of fleshing him out to be more human (for an Astartes)
>>34463644forgot pic like a donut.>>34463529refer to pic related
>>34463652Maybe he'd overcommit at the second war for Armageddon, against his better judgement?
>>34463673have your legion not suffered enough?
>>34463644Yeah, they are similar, however the differences are there, and given a different paint scheme than the DA, nobody should care or really notice.
>>34463662Perfect! Thank you so much!
>>34463688Yeah, I mean, there's only 300 of us.
>>34463673Nothing on that scale, but if he is mindful of casualties, maybe have him be forced to sacrifice an entire squad or two in a small engagement, or one or two ships that (while replaceable) weigh heavily on him.
I've got this for the Black Augurs and I'm trying to figure out how to add in an all seeing eye in the center. Pyramid style. Can anyone help a brother out?
>>34463539The Dark Angels don't have a gear, and a sword is a pretty common motif. Up to you :)>>34463549>GKOh wow, totally forgot that.>>34463562Check my previous posts>>34463529I like it!Here's my Legion's sigil, for now
Erebus is also the one who said to Nicholai Galilei of the Knights Draconian "How Can I accept what I cannot hear? How can I forgive one who does not exist?"I think that adds new meaning to the response. Golgothos declared the War Scribes nonexistant (need a cool latin word for that,) and Erebus is simply abiding by his primarch's decision, but he respects Galilei enough to at least respons.
This is my sigil.
>>34463644Fair enough. After all, all literature and art is riffing off what's come before you, or so I've been told. We'll take that symbol >>34463481 as our own, then. Thanks for the help, friend.
Currently working on Primarch fluff.
I don't understand this thread, but making IF heresy army, Breaching squads and Phalanx squads as troop choice, get bonus. any love for cannon legions? don't see them represnt nigguh
>>34463827All of the Canon legions are gone. This is an alternate universe.
Okay I am cleaning up the format of the wiki page. should be reeaaaaaalllll clear for you to fill it in soon.Also, what do you guys think of something like pic related for my emblem?
>>34463827Cannon legions are a thousand time better than some of the aberrations I have seen in this thread.
>>34463845pretty cool>>34463848Which legions do you think are shit? Offer constructive criticism so we can improve them.
>>34463757So, he is brash and stubborn like the rest of the Entombed, but overall a pretty decent guy trying to do the best with what he has?
>>34463845That's cool. Also looks a little shifty, which is nice.
What do we think of this as a logo?
>>34463827This is an alternate universe 40k we're making, just... because we can, pretty much.>>34463848Bummer.
>>34463867Yeah. I think he extends the Entombed desire to avoid casualties to ALL humans. After all, he is a doctor. Perhaps he sees the Astartes as a whole as being in a situation similar to The Entombed: valuable, and rare, every casualty is a loss for humanity.
>>34463845>8 pointed star >implying that isn't Chaos as fuckWhy wouldn't a legion that is all about scheming and playing both sides in every conflict not have multiple emblems, one for the "loyalists", one for the "traitors", one super secret for spies to identify each other and so on?
>>34463859Void Angels, you can't get more edgy, at least Blood and Dark Angels have backgrounds that make them relatable.Eternal Zealots, how are those guys Chaos? They seem like good guys and yet they are Chaos??Omegon Annihilators, WOW THE EDGE!!
>>34462842Hey, what do you guys think of this as an alternate color for my Legion? In my mind, it does a better job of evoking "wading through the ashes of the past", fading from white to black. I'm keeping the brass/bronze trim though, because antiquity, pen tips, old books bound in metal, all that jazz.
So, I'm considering creating a legion, if you're still open to that. The main idea of the legion is conserving strength, using the force of your enemy against them, and the judicial use of shock/thunder weapons, sniper rifles and flame. Doctrine would be to have as much of the enemy weakened before engaging at close range (though aforementioned snipers, which they train to perfection), then to engage the enemy in pockets, breaking them into small groups and using flamers to put down as many as efficiently as possible. In close combat, they use single, precise blows targeted at weakpoints to dispatch their opponent with as little force as possible. Around civilians, they keep close watch over them, making sure PDF, IA, and LEOs keep the peace and make sure every aspect of life flows smoothly. Their main downfall is that they must maintain absolute focus in battle, so are thrown off by even the slightest psykic influences. The nature of their engagement makes them ill-suited to massive battles (like Isstvan III/Dropsite massacre) where there is little to no ability to dictate the flow of battle, and are thus easily broken in rapid deployment. On a personal level, most marines are slow to anger, but when they break, the do so with unparalleled fury, frequently killing the aggressor, or if another Astartes, mortally injuring them. As such, most other legions are wary to do anything but conduct business with the legion. Things to figure out>Name>Loyalty>Homeworld>Primarch name>Post-heresy
>>34463907I would lower the detail, it's the logo that gets plastered on everything the legion has so it must be simple enough to paint. Leave only the outline of the war hammer and remove the inner cogs.
>>34463981We already have the Sons of Fire for the whole "FIRE AND ASHES!!!!!!!"Anymore and it's going to get ridiculous.
>>34463988We have 25 Legions, if you can replace an untouched one, by all means.
>>34463988There is a real need for Traitor legions.But for the Emperor's sake PLEASE put some thoughts in your Legion.
>>34464006Not quite what I meant. The War Scribes are the relic hunters. "Wading through the ashes" is meant to be symbolic of all the destroyed lore of Humanity, which they feel they need to try to dig through and reclaim. They'd be the absolute last Legion to burn things.
>>34464029Then ditch the black-white-grey theme, it evokes ashes, and as I said Sons of Fire make a point reducing everything "hey guys let's burn this"
>>34464025What do you mean? I have tactics, doctrine and general demeanor figured out. Not bad for coming up with it in about five minutes. I just really suck with naming things.
>>34464029>>34463981I like it!>>34463988I'd recommend making your legion into a successor chapter.
>>34463969>Eternal Zealots, how are those guys Chaos? They seem like good guys and yet they are Chaos??You could say the same about the Thousand Sons.
>>34464053Hehehe, Traitor Legion/Warband, the Fisher Kings. All about luring people out of position in order to punish them. >>34464062Do you not get the difference between *creating* ashes and trying to *undo* things that have been burnt to ashes?
>>34464012Which ones are untouched? They all seem to be in some state of disrepair.
>>34463933I though it was chaos'y but just not chaos'y enough to be passable as both.I didn't want to make everyone get pissed with me chucking out all these secret society sigils and shit lol. I have a few alternatives, that all are different depitctions of the same thing, but some are a bit viking/celtic and thats not my legion, so I'm hesitant.>>34463969>notice how you aren't offering your own legion up here. >as if primarchs arent mary sue as fuck anyway>as if GW lore isn't ooohedgy.jpg anywayadd something nyukka. Show us how its really done or shut the fuck up.
>>34464094Silver Cataphracts, Bulwark and Silver Spears seem to be more or less untouched.
>>34463981>In my mind, it does a better job of evoking "wading through the ashes of the past", fading from white to black.Holy pretentious bullshit, batman!
>>34464072yes because a bunch of walking sarcophages and PSYKERS do not scream Chaos.>>34464087Fine, plug your ears and do as you please. Not like I care.
>>34464129I'll take over the Silver Caraphracts' spot. Don't like the name for what my legion does.
>>34464096If both branches wear the same symbol it would be stupidly obvious. You can write off a few sightings as deserters or some sneaky traitors trying to smear your chapter's honor, but even in the grim stupidity of the far future it is still too stupid to work for 10000 years.>>34464142They didn't do anything wrong and the Rubric wouldn't have been necessary if it wasn't for Russ.
>>34463969You know, you're right.What was I thinking, it's almost as if it is written from a bias opinion...So tell me how the Word Bearers are evil again anon-senpai?
>>34464129Bulwark and Silver Cataphracts are being done.GUYS CAN EVERYONE HOLD OFF ON EDITING THE PRIMARCHS SECTION FOR THE MINUTE - TRYING TO FORMAT IT CLEANLY. i dont want to overwrite shit you've done, and get everything muddled up.
>>34464142If anyone's not listening here, it's you, bro. >>34464133Aaww... Sarcasm, or genuine opinion?
>>34464096see >>34464142 >>34464087You guys are going to do as you please, whatever advice is given. This is a pure fantasy fulfillment endeavor.
>>34464182It's a bit much, bro
>>34464176Alright. So, that leaves nobody doing the Silver Spears?
>>34464164see >>34464176use the silver spears or if you go loyalist the Cobalts
>>34464182Ah!Who is not listening now?
If we've got chapters being done by people who didn't make them, could we possibly re-define some legions as successor chapters?
>>34464165I know - like i said in that post i didnt want to post like loads of them, but i'll find an alternate for the chaos side/loyalist side then.
>>34464167You are serious?
>>34464189Mmk. See, I can live with that, this was just an idea. Changing it is fine, I'm just not going to change it for people who willfully misread what I'm writing, you dig? Consider it scrubbed. >>34464219What are you even talking about? I was asking him if he really felt it was a bad idea, or if he was joking.
>>34464204I could see them going Slannesh with the whole perfection thing or Tzeench with the whole finding wholes in your opponent's strategy and tactics.
>>34464244Please, enlighten me Anon-sensei-senpai-kun.How are the Word Bearers evil?
>>34464260Well we need a resident Slaanesh legion.If you don't mind of course?
>>34464279Yeah, going EC route, not metal and cocaine like most.
>>34463969It's better than it could be. Knowing /tg/ I'm suprised there isn't a slaaneshi loyalist chapter called the Futa Butt Rapists
>>34464309don't the EC melt captives down into drugs?
>>34463969>Void Angels, you can't get more edgyThey're like the Space Wolves except read brooding philosopher-kings for merry Viking raiders. Someone has to be largely intact at the end of the Heresy to chase the Traitors back to the Warp.
>>34464219>>34464188>>34464182>>34464142>>34464096>>34464072>>34464087>>34464167>>34464265Holy fucking shit everyone. Just ignore the bait. This thread was doing fine, as had all the others. Just block out the one or two anons who bait. I don't want this to go in the shitter now.
>>34464342I'm cool void.I am about to schooled by Anon-senpai-sensei-kun-chan-sanOn how the Word Bearers are evil.
>>34464342We're running out of things to discuss
>>34464333Maybe now, but the cause of the fall, with their push for perfection.
>>34464342Like my Primarch, I often suffer from an IRL tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt.
>>34464367We still have a lot of things to discuss.
Wait, so is the 1d4chan page clear for adding stuff now?
>>34464390Ok. I'm running out of things to discuss.
>>34464367Important expeditions, crusades, battles, fleshing out the primarchs, important people within the legions and imperium. How did they deal with the post-heresy situation? Did the codex happen?
>>34464419Well, take a break for a bit, and come back with a fresh mind and fresh ideas later, maybe.
>>34464072What's wrong with his face?
>>34464419Try to, no pun intended, dig yourself out of the idea that your legion is made entirely of coffin puns>>34464438Yes, many primarchs haven't even been described by their respective creators yet.THIS THREAD HAD A 1D4CHAN PAGE IN UNDER 24 HOURS! IT WILL NOT FALL NOW!
>>34464458Chaos: not even once.
>>34464476but the Space Wolves are made entirely of wolf puns
>>34464367>>34464411we all have to fill out the wiki, although one at a time really - or post here and one person stick it all up to stop everyone crashing together.AND i restructured the wiki primarchs section, you can use it.Gonna do the Legions now too, SO SAVE ANY STUFF YOU WRITE ABOUT YOUR LEGION.
>>34464476Also I move that all Legions that don't have Primarchs yet, haven't been fleshed out very much, or have AWOL creators become successor chapters.
>>34464515And then what, open the slots for other anons to make new Legions?
Tollund Ötztal, Primarch of the MastodontiiTisenjoch is a world of great open steppes, and cold glaciars, locked in an eternal ice age. The people there live in great mobile towns that follow the herds of Mastodon as they trek back and forth. Life is hard, and the clans were ruled by a caste of tech-priests who maintained their mobile homes. Trade and Warfare between the great mobile towns was common, with battles between them akin to the naval battles of old Terra, with small high-speed ground-carts duelling in the shadow of the mobile towns as they pounded away at one another.It was into this world that Ötztal was hurled. As luck would have it, he was discovered by a foraging party and taken to the mobile town of Umbaraka. There he swiftly grew to maturity, gaining his first Mastodon Kill at age 10, and making a spear for himself out of its tusks.Then came the day his town was assaulted and taken by a great mobile city, Maiyebord. His family and friends were enslaved, and he too was forced to work in the great machine pits beneath the rolling city, helping to keep it moving.Ötztal was always an optimistic soul, who saw that there was always a solution, a way out. Even in slavery he refused to ever give up. He could not see the point in the towns fighting. There was plenty of space and food to go around, and he would not take the strong simply taking for the sake of it. He swore to unite all the peoples, and end the wars which plagued his home.Five times he tried to escape. Four times he was recaptured. The angry city-dwellers had him cuffed, collared, and hung great weights from his limbs, all in an effort to prevent him, but he would never give up. Ever. And finally he escaped, and fled from the rolling city into the steppes.
Added some rules stuff to the bottom of the 1d4chan. Looking for ideas on how to make The Entombed less one-note.>>34464532No, just have fewer legions. As it stands there are more legions than successor chapters.
>>34464342M41 ,999, 999.Anon-Senpai-Sensei-Sama-Kun-San-Chan, still hasn't told me how the word bearers are evil...I am beginning to feel like Anon has left.
>>34464550I see. We can do it that way, yeah. Keep in mind though, I don't expect many anons will want to write Successor Chapters for other anon's Legions, they'll want their own Legion and Primarch. So, I'm not confident that this AU will get very many, is all.
>>34464596I don't have any successor chapters, so I'd be happy to write a few for other anons.
>>34464539He found another town, and upon meeting their leaders convinced them to join him. So he set off, uniting rolling town after rolling town into a league of mobile cities, and storming and taking those who refused to join him. Finally he led a mighty assault on Maiyebord, only to find his once-family were already dead. Enraged, he had all the rulers of the city staked out in the steppe and trampled to death by Mastodons.Several years later, the Emperor came to Tisenjoch and Ötztal met with him. The meeting was cool at first, and Ötztal instinctively distrusted this outsider. Eventually he challenged him to a hunt. The one to claim the larger Mastodon would win. Ötztal spent a month tracking he great herds, until he brought down a mighty beast. But upon returning to Neu Umbaraka, he found the Stranger had claimed two, both bigger by far than his. Ötztal was enraged, and tried to attack the stranger, but the stranger asilly defeated him, and revealed himself as his true Father, the Emperor. Even then there was acrimony, but finally Ötztal was convinced to leave his world and take command of the XXIV Legion, the Steel Wing, which he renamed the Mastodontii
>>34464550Or we could just keep things as is. It's not broken, why fix it and create even more confusion?
>>34464629By all means, go ahead. I'll be honest, I was blown away that someone already wrote one for my Legion.
>>34464550Cutting down on the number of legions, but keeping slots open for other anons would be a decent option. Also, assigning successors should probably be done with chapters/warbands that best fit the parent legion.
>>34464390Yeah. Getting line-ups for the major and minor battles is key. As I see it, we've got:Istvaan III pretty well nailed in the wikiIstvaan V is currently:Black Augurs, Life Bringers, Eternal Zealotsvs.The Entombed, Knights of Justice, War Scribes(Machine Guard are listed there but there's no real connection)Rook's Sacrifice is Horns of Ruin vs. Nova Defenders. Simple and beautiful.The stuff on Ultima Segmentum is fine, though we might need some other diversions.The campaign in Sol is an absolute mess. Some of the Loyalists who aren't doing anything else should be there. The Eyes doing their thing on Mars is basically fine, but Terra needs to be 3-4 Loyalist legions only. Someone could scour Titan (probably a good job for the Void Angels if they're showing up late).
>>34464690There's more Legions at Isstvan V. I have the map above, please fill in. We have the Heralds of Hektor there as well, and the Sons of Fire and Scale Bearers as well.
>>34464690Pre-Heresy would be good to fluff up. Stuff like an equivalent to Ulanor would be good.
>>34464727Aye. In any case, I've got college things to attend to, so I'll see you guys tomorrow.
>>34464476I don't really know how to write for my Primarch, since I'm usually better at faction or military writing than I am at character writing, so some help would be appreciated.
>>34464724>There's more Legions at Isstvan V.That's getting pretty crazy. Maybe we should add some more sites to spread the violence? I think the Eternal Zealots and Knights of Justice could probably go off and duel each other without any interference, for example.
>>34464596i second that.LEAVE the legions we have in. No point demoting or cutting themI'm updating them anyway, as is it seems another anon. So let it be dude. Its fine.this is /tg/ does the HH, we don't need shit like balance and w.e.To be honest, successor chapters would just start cluttering up the page like mad.And I just did my best at organising it.
>>34464629Successor Chapters are really fun. They give you a chance to show a different side to someone else's cool character and legion. (I say that having written the Knights Draconian, Ironsides and Lionhearts.)
>>34464767Yeah, I'm in the same boat. I do technical writing, I can give you after-action reports, specifications for weapons and the likes but characters? Ah, hell no.
>>34464690There should be more legions on Istvaan V, the loyalists must be outnumbered. Heralds of Hector are a given, I'd also nominate Silver Spears and Argent Legion.
>>34464342Only 3 out of 10, sorry not bait.Just people who don't have the shit opinion as you.
>>34464690does it have to be Rooks Sacrafice. Why not Rooks Gambit. Its literally a Xanatos Gambit. He sacrafices his life to achieve his aim,The Children respect that, and think it should be about his achievement, not his death itself. Also there needs to be 7 total traitor Legions - those already on the ground, and the 3 /4 following the first loyalists down.
>>34464820War Scribes are a small legion, so the Traitors may have numbers as things stand. But sure, concentrate more force.
>>34464769Isstvan V had like 11 Legions Present. Even if there's fewer here, we need at least eight or so. The Original four, the Emperor's retribution and the second-wave turncoats.
>>34464848I've never been good at judging what a large legion is, since 40k canon is also vague, but I figured 90k War Scribes as a fighting force, and 10k more spread all over the galaxy relic-hunting seemed about right for a midstrength legion. Does that seem correct to you guys?
>>34464834>does it have to be Rooks Sacrafice.It doesn't, I just wanted a placeholder that we could recognise.
>>34464834We have the Heralds of Hektor, the Life Bringers, Sons of Fire and one other in the original landers. And the Zealots are part of the second wave
>>34464767>>34464813what do you need help with? I can write characters. I can help you. >>34464848and he means that the Istvaan massacre has the loyalists surprise outnumbered when their backup turns traitor and attacks from behind.
>>34464820I can write in the Silver Spears. May take some work, since I'm remaking the legion.>>34464864We can be the fourth of the original. Not sure on force number. How do the legions stand now? I'm thinking slightly below in numbers, but better equipped and trained.
>>34464880I wouldn't worry. Just knowing who is big and who is small is enough.
>>34464880Pretty much. All legions are roughly around the 100k Mark. We have 150k Sons of Fire for instance.
>>34464882You have to make it some sort of reference to castling the Rook. The chess reference is just too tempting to pass up, yeah?
>>34464912there could be something to do with the Rams being a knight and Rook being, well a rook/castle.But I vote Rooks Gambit. It sounds catchy.
>>34464362Oh wow. You actually think just proving that the Word Bearers were good guys and still Chaos save your Legion?What about the blatant disregard for the atheist creed of the Emperor by Lorgar?And at least they have a sensible role in the aftermath of the heresy, they are missionaries priests of Chaos, and you can't get more daemon-possessed as the Word Bearers.What will your guys be? The Xenos-LOVERS of the Chaos God?They will love all Xenos IN THE NAME OF CHAOS!!Yes that will tell the Emperor!!Sorry but you can't get any more not-Chaoss than that.
>>34463508>Originally posted in an older threadI have not forgotten you Stone men. (You don't appear in the table on 1d4chan though.)Valdiron stood with his honour guard, his armour's shine dulled by the weak dust storm all around him. He held his scimitar aloft. As first captain of the Argent Legion it was his duty now. He looked to his primarch Malphas his silent daemonic form immobile. So changed. Greater yet lesser. ++Enemies in range lord++The Stone Men had reached the precipice. Valdiron dropped his arm, his scimitar cutting the air.++Execute++ he ordered.As one the Argent Legion reveled themselves and opened fire. Malphas took off in a sprint, his chrome form reflecting the battle around them. Valdiron ordered his armoured reserves to encircle the Stone Men formation. He watched as Malphas crashed into their lines and cut down scores of them, quickly outdistancing his own legion, searching for his brother.+++“For the Emperor!”He cursed, how long had he been transfixed on his primarch, only for the Stone men's own genesire to be before him. His squad barely had time to react as they melta struck them. Power fists crushed them. The Stone Men's primarch took Valdiron in his enormous fist and crushed him slowly, before tossing him aside like an Adminstratum reciept. Maimed, Valdiron watched as the Stone men broke through his lines. As his life ebbed away he could only think of how he had failed. His last vision was the reflective glare of Malphas giving chase.
>>34464888I have my Primarch's name, but not much else.>>34463988 is the tactical and strategic overview of the legion. Slightly below mid-strength, and used to operating alone, and in small (two or three companies) groups. Isstvan IV is a complete change in doctrine for them. I want my primarch to survive, but irrevocably changed as a person. Looses his calmer demeanor, and is more of a brute than before. Less collected as well. I wish I could give you more than that.
>>34464884Life Bringers, being the ones who handle the artillery this time, seem more fit to take on the role of the Iron Warriors in this version of the massacre, which puts them into second wave turncoats. Works either way though.
>>34464888Well I just need backstory for my Primarch like what kinda planet he landed on, what sort of life he had there. Just what would mold him into this dutiful, loyal, tactically skilled commander?
>>34464937Sounds like it could be used as a cautionary tale for commanders millennia from now.
>>34464968I'm also thinking that the planet he landed on would be a very ordered, martial place. Everything was expected to be perfect, and mental conditioning was just as important as physical. Pretty much Space Parris Island.
The Entombed do battle against the enemies of the Imperium
>>34465090Forgot muh pic
>>34464968okay thats *something* to work with, but know that your primarch *HAS* and will die/be lost to the warp/become a daemon prince and fuck off to leave your legion to run itself in his absense, only returning for genuinely big events.But I'll start working something up over tonight and tomorrow. I'll post it onto the wiki first though.>>34464980Okay, I'll have a go at that too, check the wiki for the stuff I add - I'll try roll it into formatting up the wiki as I go that way. What do you guys think of >pic relatedas my non-chaos emblem. 2 snakes eating eachothers tails - could represent (secretly) the two sides to my legion.Plus you know, we're snakes - not to be trusted...Its meant to be ourouborus and jormungand, and the first chaosy looking one is just ouroborus
Because The War Scribes existence, what would considered tech-heresy?
>>34465150do me now anon. Whats fucked up and shit about my legion?
>>34465182Not that anon. But I recommend taking a break rather than taking the bait.
Think I got a name for the homeworld of the Gorges:Thorondul. Normally written as Thorond-Ul by the natives most people have through the ages combined the thing into the single name it is nowadays.It's a Low-Tech world scarred by the natural struggles of its inhabitants and then conquests of Nathanog that left several military states behind.Culture on the planet is centered around strength and domination. You rise only by making others bite the sand, but for the weak mercy is given.Those with a talent for fighting in the numerous Blood Spectacles on the planet can see themselves be ascended as Gorges during the Crusade.Still hesitating on what would be the fate of the planet after the Heresy, if anyone has any ideas I'm open.
Hey, I'm back, fellas. Can't draw to save my life, could someone help me out for my symbol? I was thinking of a spear jutting diagonally through a skull...Also, updated color schemes!
>>34465201dude I like your legion. But can we change the name to GorgeRsI mean you eat people right?You gorge yourself on them infact.But calling yourself the Gorges just makes me think of the geography. as in pic related.not cannibals.
>>34465145Sweet! Much appreciated!
>>34465182What? I just asking if they go out of there way to reverse-engineer tech to understand it. What are the rules of tech-heresy in this alt universe? Can other Chapters do the same? Can I create a successor chapter that not only reverse-engineers Human tech but, also xeno-tech? I just want to know the limits. Sorry if you took offense to that.
Someone needs to make a perfect primarch, human, nice and all that shit who finds a full STC and due to confusion BOTH traitors and loyalists completely wipe him and his legions and destroy everything he ever found.
>>34465150>>34465182I'm thinking that this is more of just changing the standard. It still exists, but the approach of 'spit and duct tape fixes everything' is a bit more acceptable and that tech is a bit less of a mystical thing.
>>34465145Nice choice for the emblem...Can somebody give me a brief update on all that's transpired since I was last on?
>>34465218Where do you go to do that stuff? Can you post a link?
hey, I had an idea for the stone menI want to add a bit of theme involving "being blasted back to the stone age" before the heresy they had the biggest battlebarge in the galaxy, the biggest guns, the most of everything, etc, etc.then, when the heresy happens they are bombarded by chaos from all sides. the immortal warriors are reduced to a mere 15,000 and their home world is swallowed by the warp.they arrive at Isstvan and see their own brothers fighting with eachother, and jumps into the fray. mindlessly destroying any enemy(?) they can find, they manage to help the loyalists escape.they retreat, still unaware of who's side they're on.their fleet of 1000 ships and the great Mount Everest arrive at holy terra to engage chaos, but sadly their magnificent flagship is overrun by chaos.now only 7,000 and dwindling fast. they manage to coalesce their remaining numbers and retreat to deep space.It's basically a fall from power, so to speak, and it makes them go from a high-tech high-power super-marine force to a barely surviving renegade force.they remain at the edge of the galaxy, silently protecting the imperium of man from threats far greater than most could even fathom.
>>34465303http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/273790-the-bc-painters/>>34465258I assumed that would still be heresy. Part of why my Legion wound up traitor.
>>34465330Many thanks, anon
>>34465258sorry wrong anon - was asking the troll to critique mine. And no you could have a xeno-tech but it'd have to be a huge secret you keep etc.Or be a traitor and do it openly... To be honest, all of these blatant xenos related and questionable things like the whole tech engineering, should be the legions secret. Because the Emprah would have bitchslapped anyone for going against his wishes like that openly.But as far as the /tg/canon goes - post-heresy Universe is just as grimdark as GW canon.All the primarchs are dead missing, or mostly awol as daemons. And the Imperium gets all crazy and stagnant as it does if not worse so, than in GW canon.Pre-Heresy It was frowned upon but kind of let go, as long as it was kept quiet - no shooting shurikens and shit. Post-Heresy its getting to be oppressive like a proper grimdark universe shouldPost death of War Scribes Primarch - goes into full lockdown mode.The Reactionary Conservatives and Religious nuts have taken over
>>34465247Interesting.With Gorges the message that they are all bottomless pits of hunger and bloodshed would be conveyed better. They are literally a gorge, one that exist only to get meat through itself, and to achieve that has to fight, hunt, ect...Also Gorge in french means "Throat".But Gorgers also give more emphasis on the act itself, gorging on blood, ect...I'm actually torn, both would work, really.
>>34465258Well, my Legion dedicates itself, aside from the usual Marine activities, to finding lost technology, but they take it a step farther than the Mechanicus and when possible, they try to return that technology to the Imperium as a whole, rather than hoarding it. This caused some... friction. Some very painful friction. As a whole, the Mechanicus still has the same views on tech-heresy they do in the canon story. My Primarch tried to buck that system, but only forced a stalemate between Terra and Mars, and was eventually killed by the Mechanicus for his actions, because grimdark.
>>34465370Gorgers is clearer on your intent, just by implication.Gorges has a nice metaphor to it, but as I understand it - you are Khorne right? - that might be a bit too highbrow and abstract.A flagship/monastery called the Gorge has potential though - like flowing with blood and built on bones rather than like pic related of last post...
>>34465379How would the Legion even survive then after making an enemy out of one of the most powerful organizations in the Galaxy...They would have to have backing from the High Lords of Terra, or else the Mechanicus would just wait one of the myriads Crusades and crisis the Imperium, wipe them out and go "Ooops we did that? Sorry... What can you do anyway?"
Just woke up, and I saw the updated wiki. You guys move fast. I'm gonna get dressed, grab some food, and get on the computer. There I'll start dumping primarch history, and such.
>>34465485Also, I have a sigil, just not in digital form. I'll try to create it in ms paint.
This is what a Crusader marine with a standard load out looks like, obviously with the different colour scheme.
>>34465477Well there is the Children of Armok pulling and pushing both sides.I could have subtly convinced Arelex he had to oppose the AdMech, while talking to the AdMech and telling them to use restraint/go all out.I don't know how it landed, but I was meant to be responsible for his death by manipulating the mechanicus into killing him off.But I saw there war as mostly political and clandestine etc, not open shooting and shit... >>34465485haha I aim to please.
>>34465437Sold.Renaming the Legion to Gorgers. I can see how the subtlety out of "Gorge" would be not too Khornate.Actually I was thinking about the Gorgers making "Gorges", giant pits filled with the remains of the victims of their greatest victories.
>>34465477It's kind of like how the SWs survive despite making an enemy of the Inquisition, or the DAs survive despite being enemies of several factions.First Founding chapters get away with a lot, but the Mechanicus still won in the end. The War Scribes and their successors can't really threaten their hegemony in 40k, so the Admech largely ignores them. Also, Arelex is the Primarch that took Guilliman's place in this AU, and he did in fact set up the High Lords and the post-Emperor political structure, so the War Scribes do actually have some support as you described. Hopefully that clarifies things.
>>34465554It all looks really good, but while by primarch was givin space, my legion was not. It still isn't in the page.
>>34465145Thanks for the help, really appreciate it.
I'm back, looking at various legions to see who I want to make a successor chapter for
>>34465514Consider the Zealots to have either green tabards or cloaks really, most of are holding some form of sword.
>>34465622It is there, check the bottom - just went to edit it and its there. captcha: trators itsbred
>>34465591SW are not mortals enemy with the Inquisistion, they merely had some quarrels with them. That and the Inquisition is certainly not on the same scale as the Mechanicus, the Mechanicus IS the Imperium, without it it would crumble to dust and I'm pretty sure everyone of importance in the Imperium realizes it.You NEED something that would make them not just flat out annihilate your Legion after the Heresy, not just kill the Primarch.Either it is Archeo-tech, whatever, something.
>>34465379Well, that could all cause some interesting friction with my legion.Say, in the form of various communications about possible tech, and wars over finding lost STC's, etc.?>>34463570You stole my thinking gif...
>>34465669What? I'm talking about my Legion, The Crusaders.
Void Angels information on the wiki is extemely sparse, not even two lines. What happened to them?
>>34465506I've copy-and-pasted your successor chapters into the wiki.
>>34465730They are a terrible idea for a Legion, that's what happened.
>>34465716Aye, just throwing my ring into the hat.I like the picture though, so a very tactical load out eh?
>>34465695Well, like you say, my Legion's Primarch was the one who created the High Lords, and in their hunt for relics and lore, they've probably got enough dirt on the Imperium to blackmail whoever they need to. And as I said, they almost DID annihilate the Legion after the Heresy. They just couldn't finish the job cleanly, so to avoid the entire Imperium going apeshit that the Mechanicus was making a blatant bid for supreme power, they had to cover it up and let the War Scribes leave, contenting themselves that the Scribes would never again be able to offer significant resistance to the Admech.
>>34465680My mistake. Ctrl+f wasn't pulling it up.
>>34465695I believe that the Adeptus Mechanicus were manipulated into attacking the War Scribes in the post-Heresy era. There's remaining bad blood, but it's not all-out hatred.
>>34465730can I destroy his entire chapter by crashing mount Everest into isstvan?
>>34465771No, I was editing them in while you were typing.
>>34465801Oh, got it.
>>34465750>>34465784OK, what about the Silver Cataphracts? Their entry is short too.
>>34465750are you the troll? Please critique my legion anon. >>34465768Yeah the Children would help with blackmail seeing as intel and secrets are our bread and butter.Its the least we could do when you unwittingly let us sneak sleeper agents into the various infrastructure governments of the imperium...And besides, despite Uriel's callousness, he genuinely likes Arelex - they both seek to attain knowledge and analyse it for useful stuff.
>>34465763Mhm! That's pretty much what all the Crusaders are all about, no Devastators or Assault just Tactical Marines with specialized load outs depending on their skills and the objective.
>>34465730Vandalism by haters (>>34465750). Will re-write and expand later.
>>34465768Yes, and they would then give the occasion for the Legion to get successors chapters all around the Galaxy, more heretek-loving marines...
>>34465822Nice, I mean, fuck slow devastators, all my Devastators are either wearing centaur style exo-suits or are half-daemon bull centaurs.Oh Khorne, I love you so.
>>34465812what about them? We're not cutting them - They're on my list of legions to flesh out. They take part in teh Crucible with the Steel Marshals and the Bulwark/Seriously, people, if something is light on fluff add some to it yourself, or just leave it alone and I'll do it. Stop with this obsession of cutting everything out...
>>34465820> implying he is the only one who don't like thingsBut I can still critique your legion for you.
>>34465858I'm not trying to cut stuff out, on the contrary, I'm looking for stuff to flesh out by adding successor chaptors.Currently I'm thinking Steel Marshals.
>>34465866go for it, I havent had much feedback to be honest. I'm not one of the central figures etc.
>>34465838War Scribes have one successor chapter so far and the Knights Draconian are pretty different from their founders. It's possible that's all that comes of Arelex's bloodline.
>>34465874ohhh you want to add successors?Let me finish the main legion first. Then work on that.And as a point, adding too many chapters will make it bloated, so try to stick to one or 2 main chpater successors maximum please.
>>34465856I like you. Pic very related
>>34465887Thing is, your whole trope is "We're really not the big movers and shakers". So nobody really wants to drag you into things.
I just updated the Voidwatchers information on the wiki. Check it out. I'm half asleep because I didn't sleep last night so it's probably subpar but tell me what you think anyway.
>>34465908Yeah, I'm only looking at legions that don't have successors already. It's just weird to me that we have more legions than successor chapters.
>>34465838You know, it's funny. The War Scribes aren't hereteks. They revere ancient technology, and seek to use it safely, just like the Mechanicus. Where they disagree is that the War Scribes serve the Imperium, and the Emperor, not themselves. Everything they learn, the Emperor created them to share with his Imperium. >>34465891Well, the War Scribes could go all the way down to the Salamander's level of survivors. I had it in my head that they'd have something like 5-10k Marines left over, becoming a handful of Successors.
>>34465874Steel Marshals is the reason I'm a Loyal legion. It would be cooler if you didn't cut him.
>>34464888Oh, thank goodness! I just got back, turned out I had less to do than expected. So you say you can help out with the writing?
>>34465936Nigga I'm doing the opposite of cutting them.
>>34465924yeah we haven't finished working on the legions is why. Its not been that long since we were just a reply to me from another anon about starting our own heresy AU. Give it time brother Golgothos. Like your legion things move slowly, but surely. Let them come.
>>34465945Christ I'm tired. Sorry.
>>34465941Yeah, he's currently doing my primarch, and one other. I think he said he had IRL crap to attend to.
>>34465913Wanna hear the worst part...Said Devastators have the heavy weapons on either side of the suit...twice the dakka.And the Bull Centaurs...yeah, the Centaur part are basically Juggernauts...you know those living metal bull motherfuckers blood letters ride?And they still get the heavy weapons on their sides.I am a dirty, filthy man.
>>34465959I dunno man, most Legions seem pretty fleshed out.
>>34465924I'm not writing more successors right now, but the low-hanging fruit are Scions of Europa, The Crusaders, and the Machine Guard.
>>34465974Here's the paint scheme for my legion. Not completely happy with it, but mostly good.
>>34465929Oh wow, not only do they have archeo-tech, BUT it's also SAFE archeo-tech?!?AND they ALWAYS have said tech with them on the battlefield, and somehow this safe tech is potent enough to allow a Legion that has almost nothing in terms of combat ability to thrive (somehow)How convenient all of this is.By Heretek I meant that they adopt a sharing mentality when it comes to technology WHICH can only lead to experimentation and then the rest is heretek.
>>34465941I can help, but it will take some time - i'm writing a lot of the stuff now. And I need to sleep, got an interview in the morrow. I've noted down your legion name on my list so i wont forget - what is it you need help with exactly?
>>34465974I think he's doing mine. Thankfully cause I don't know where to start with character writing.
>>34465974Alrighty then.Brief question for everyone - should I just cover the Legion's major actions in the Great Crusade section, or should I throw in Primarch friendships/rivalries and such?
>>34466011Yeah, we were both talking to him earlier.
>>34466001Thinking of making a bike-heavy not!WhiteScars successor to the (Steel Marshals?) with an Arabic vibe, whos chapter master is not!Saladin
>>34466002> almost no silverYou have to be fucking kidding me!!!Seriously??!!
>>34466006Mostly just having trouble with how to handle the Coming of the Emperor part. I can't write Big E to save my life.
>>34465968>Christ I'm tired.Understandable. Being the saviour of the Loyalist cause must be exhausting.
is there anyone who wants to be on the Everest when my naval commander tungsten uses it to ram a warp storm?
>>34466035I already stated I didn't like the name, but I'd take over the slot.
>>34465991but not all. A man doesnt try to cross a bridge until the bridge is finished... >>34466001all those chapters have active anons, who are just not on the same time-frame as us IRL, hence why they are not here. Give them time as I said to Golgothos.
>>34465983Chaos, not even once...
I'm going to go for tonight. Have a good one you guys and I hope to Chaos Undivided that this thread does not fall apart and there is more done tomorrow when I return. Check out my fluff for my Primarch btw, it's unfinished because I dunno what goes on during the Heresy and crusade really so I"ll fill it in later. Alright. See you all later.
>>34466067Writing successor chapters doesn't really stomp on anyone's toes. So long as the Primanon has veto rights, everyone's happy.
>>34466045Keep him off-screen, then. He appears, goes off with Tiran to talk, then Tiran comes back to declare his decision.
>>34466121I'm willing to listen to some successor chapter ideas.
>>34466075You just wish you had daemon bull legs.
>>34466150...actually, that's brilliant.
>>34466005You seem to have confused me with someone who listens to hyperbole. Some of the relics they've dug up over the years are archaeotech, and are safe. And they use these relics in battle. Same as your average Rogue Trader. They just have more of it than your average chapter. Which you know, you just wish to misrepresent things. That's fine, but you're incorrect.It's funny how you think that no one could ever go find some relics. Very... convenient, you might say. So many assumptions you make.
>>34465887First off, for a follower of Tzeentch your paint scheme is totally wrong. Tzeentch likes flamboyant, vibrant ones.You mention an agenda that made them join Tzeentch.But now what is that agenda? Would mean they "evil" even before they met Tzeentch. What can legion gain from behind in the middle of the heresy? "Money"??Also your Legion literally has his hands into Every-freaking-thing.The Heresy? You started it (in cannon Word Bearers met the Gods, but HORUS started the Heresy). The meeting with the Gods? Same, your legion.They are borderline Mary-Sue on the intellect-level, in cannon the intellect of Tzeentch is balanced by lunacy, loss of meaning, and constant impredictability.Here, nothing. They are just super smart...Also, Children of Armok?More like Children of Running Amok.
>AppearanceRook has long wavy brown hair. Like Curze long. He has tan caucasian (totally not Italian) skin with gaunt features. Pronounced cheek bones, sunken cheeks and eyes, and a thin face. His most notable feature is his smaller stature. Not as tall as the other primarchs, and definitely not as strong.>YouthRook grew up on Rylethon. It was a solemn existence. The planet is devoid of all sentient life. Growing up in the only structure that appeared man made, he found books. In the books he found knowledge. Knowledge became his strongest tool. Common legend says Rook didn't speak until the Emperor found him, and that's why he can't shut up.>>34466049>saviorI wouldn't say savior. Maybe champion...
>>34466151I don't have a good enough handle on Gaudin at the moment. Could you sketch a bit more about what makes him special - in particular, why he was the one to propose an alternative Codex, but ended up in the minority?
>>34466195I hope they are assumptions.Else your Legion is shit and won't stand for a second when other anons see it.
>>34466219Gaudin proposed an alternate Codex? I thought he just helped the War Scribes with theirs.Also, who's the Primarch of the Silver Spears now? I'm writing a bit of fluff on how myself and him become fast allies (due to similar attitudes with our legions and such) before the Spears' fall to Chaos.
>>34466219I'll be honest I don't really know enough about him either, I came into this with a good idea about my Legion and that's about it. I'm trying to work with other Anons in here to help flesh him out a bit.
>>34466225Well, part of the problem is that he assumes that the archaeotech saves my Legion. It helps, at the defense of their planet, but as I've said repeatedly, it's the connections with the High Lords, and the prestige of being First Founding, that really puts in the hard work of keeping the Admech at bay. He seems to be stupid enough to think that I'd write my Legion as having every warrior clad in Dark Age god-tech. They're simply a Legion whose thing is having better tech than most others. Vulkan gave his Legion better tech through craftmanship, I gave mine better tech through doing the hard work of hunting it down and recovering it. No big deal. "Relics" doesn't mean "Black Hole launching Bolters."And that's why I accuse him of intentional hyperbole.
>>34466212My sigil looks like this, but less shit and more symmetrical.
>>34466197You know, I would love to see some other legion who has leverage on them.I think it being the Stone Men would be ironic.Seeing as they are disconnected from the Imperium and went off some place.However, I was my legion that technically turned Hektor[Horus] into starting the Heresy...but the children did kick me into doing that.
>>34466212How did your Primarch not go insane from being alone all this time? Who named him "North", you know what a family name implies right??What is the link between being alone for a long ass time and being "normal"
>>34466304I might put a black shield silhouette behind it.
>>34466054change the name if you don't like it, just makes sure its changed on the wiki and the original name is expunged. >>34466045I can do that too, no worries, but it will be in like 14 hours time cos i need to sleep and go to an interview.>>34466031>>34466011correct I am helping both of you - again, it will be tomorrow, see above for why. >>34466026Yeah why not - just keep the changes the relationships go through in the right chronological sub-entries. >>34465983that sounds like some Necron Destroyer shit right there.Or maybe one of those big spider tanks the CSM have in GW canon, i forget the name. >>34466121thats fair I guess.>>34466197>pic relatedhaha thanks anon!Yeah i need to play up the increasing insanity.Working on that.I had them getting found out by about the timeline of current GW canon.The constant lies and the incessant plots upon plots are going to start unravelling>What can legion gain from behind in the middle of the heresy?favours, tech, relics/artifacts, aid, whatever they need and can persuade someone to give them.Its pretty much how espionage works in real life. Being in the middle allows you to scratch both sides backs AND have access to better intelligence, allowing for better back scratching.They aren't super smart, just super prepared - if you know what someone is planning to do you can counter it pretty accurately... But i need some more examples of things not going their way AGREED.The colour scheme is because they weren't always of Tzeentch, and technically still aren't - spies dont trust many people, and Tzeentch is hardly reliable. But even if we were full Tz, painting ourselves when pretending to be the goodguys is like going ''look at me, i'm a spy!''Okay and thats me for tonight - see you tomorrow brothers. Sleep well.And remember - don't cut anyone, or i'll cut you....
>>34466212>Common legend says Rook didn't speak until the Emperor found him, and that's why he can't shut up.This guy.>I wouldn't say savior. Maybe champion...Rook's sacrifice (some folks want to call the battle "Rook's Gambit") comes at a really good time for the Loyalists. They've just had the tar kicked out of them at Istvaan V, the Crucible has claimed Roman Albrecht, and then Rook takes the Horns out of the fight while keeping his own legion largely intact. Huge swing, even if it was costly.
>>34466327Golgothos was alone from age 0 to age 30. He didn't even know there were other humans.He's a primarch, I aint gotta explain shit
>>34464639>And some writefaggotry'Five targets confirmed.' Tai heard over the cracking vox.'Just five?’ he asked. ‘Mastodontii Battle Groups are usually four strong. Why the extra tank?’He switched his sight to infra-red and quickly picked up the engine bloom of the five Mastodontii machines as they moved across the flats. Spots of yellow showed where components were running hot or a track was grinding out heat as it scraped past the hull. Cooling fumes trailed from their exhausts, and their engine blocks were blotches of near-white. He squinted and tweaked his zoom, trying to see if there were more machines running behind those that he could see.No, there were five: a huge slab-sided machine crawling between four Predators. The bigger one looked more like a block of uncut iron than a fighting vehicle. Clusters of lascannons hung from its flanks and its tracks looked almost as thick as his own machine's armour.'Five enemy confirmed - four Predator, one of unknown class. Large, upward-sloped front, two quad las-clusters on the sides.''Spartan,' cut in Maria's voice. She had fought alongside the Machine Guard in the past, and knew Astartes Tanks better then anyone. 'Enlarged Land Raider-class hull. Assault Transport''Understood,' said Tai. 'All units, fire and converge when within range.'
>>34466428Four weeks they had been fighting the Traitor Warmaster’s Mastodontii allies on this world. Tanks had clashed time and again, and it was the Imperial Forces that had suffered the most. Tai’s Squadron was now only three tanks strong. His Vanquisher, and the two standard Battle Tanks of Maria and Leclaire. The Lutenian Chars were now in a sorry state, and the situation got worse day by day.No time to think about the future. All that mattered was getting the kill.This was a well-worn routine now. They found an enemy patrol, found an ambush site, then waited. Layout and angles were crucial. Once the scout hit the first target, his Vanquisher had to be in the right place to hit the target straight away and blow it to pieces. Then came the messy part, the scrabbling to outrun the remaining enemy tanks. They would hit targets of opportunity, but once they fired the first shots the objective was simply to survive.‘Round Out!’ Tai’s Gunner, Anthy yelled. The Vanquisher shell slammed into the brass and copper Spartan's rear armour. Smoke and flames exploded outwards, and the massive chassis bucked like an angry beast. Its rear slammed back down in a cloud of smoke, lascannon clusters twitching impotently.‘That’s a kill!’ He yelled. He had made many kills thus far, but this was the biggest so far. Spartans could carry twenty-five Marines. He hoped those marines were burning now, burning like the Warmaster would burn.The leading Predator detonated next as Leclaire’s tank took it in the side armour. A second later another Predator burst into flames.
>>34466364Before you go, realize this.Your legion is going to be Tzeetch's one. You -need- to represent him. Tht colour scheme need to be changed or at least something in it need to express the flamboyant extravagance of Tzeentch. Or you could go Unaligned and be able to do whatever you want with the scheme.Also just be careful "super prepared" doesn't become Batman-level of "I can kill anyone".
>>34466327>Who named him "North", you know what a family name implies right??Good question, but not a problem. Make this part of Rook's ties to the Nova Defenders. His "special thing" is that he's one of the guys. Yeah, he's the best of the guys, but there's no barrier. So maybe Rook actually has to rely on his legion and they're the ones who name him?
>>34466364Also what is to gain that could be of such importance as to provoke the downfall of mankind and the Imperium, just for the lolz? They'd have to be crazy but they seem too collected to be crazy and they are Marines, they are not supposed to go crazy that easily.It would have to be something at the level of attaining Godhood for all men, or opening a new portal to Paradise, only those kind of thing could be worth causing a catastrope of such scale.
>>34466327>How did your Primarch not go insane from being alone all this time?Who says he didn't? Who says his "realistic" feel doesn't stem from a past trauma. He was alone, and therefore he had no distractions from improving himself. Although he saw his mind as his weakest muscle for needing companionship. It became his strongest. The reason he's so bro with everyone is because he was denied all that contact for so long.>Who named him "North", you know what a family name implies right??What person names a child Rook North? Rook picked his two favorite words. Rook was the impenetrable wall he wished he was. North was a reference to the star he was obsessed with. Both were words he found in books.I've put thought into this. Trust me.>>34466386>some folks want to call the battle "Rook's Gambit"Is that really a thing, or did you just make that up?
added a fuck-ton to the 1d4chan page enjoy
>>34466407That actually fit your theme. Being a rock, being stoic and alone in the wildz, unchanging, uncaring.It doesn't fit the theme of someone who seem to be the "friendly guy around" Primarch.And I have yet to understand how that can even be Primarch. Where is the weakness?
>>34466572>Is "Rook's Gambit" a thing?It's the battle where Kranios crushes Rook while the War Horns' fleet is getting blown up. Has been a thing for a while.
>>34466608I meant the name. Is that really a name you guys were thinking of using? Because that's fucking bad ass.
>>34466499He doesn't speak to humans for ages.And then becomes best friend who gets family name from his Legion....You don't see the dissonance AT ALL??or you want to turn 40k into "I didn't have friend for ages, it's so good to have one! :D :X :P)
>>34466595>It doesn't fit the theme of someone who seem to be the "friendly guy around" Primarch.And I have yet to understand how that can even be Primarch. Where is the weakness?The weakness is that Rook just isn't as powerful as his brothers. Power corrupts.
>>34466638Primarchs do pick up speech faster then humans. I bet he would have learned Ork very fast and thus would have been good at fighting them.
So, question, who am I distracting to keep them from assisting in the defence of Terra?Can I be the one to incite said Warp Storm? Seems like something the primarch would be willing to do, and the sneaky bit is his style.
>>34466595>It doesn't fit the theme of someone who seem to be the "friendly guy around" Primarch.Believe it or not Rook is a huge self insert. The back story is a massive exaggeration of my childhood. I grew up to be a huge party guy for almost the same reasons as I laid out here >>34466572 It makes sense.
>>34462936We need to add the Sigils to either the Google Doc or 1d4chan ASAP.
>>34466638I see that you're trying really hard not to understand. Rook hasn't been a leader of men. He hasn't been a great warrior. He's the weakest and least imposing of the Primarchs. He has to rely on the Nova Defenders far more than the others. That's how they bond.
What is the Emperor doing in all this? Does one of the Primarchs collapse the Imperial Webway Project? Otherwise the Emperor'd just kill Hektor and win the Heresy just like that.
>>34466630I'd put down "Rook's sacrifice" as a placeholder, "Rook's Gambit" was suggested and we thought it best to let you decide.
>>34466638He taught himself to read. That's like his whole thing. You put an extrovert on a planet alone with nothing but books and a will to learn, he's going to walk away educated and friendly to anyone willing to talk to him.
>>34466364Yeah, I haven't decided on a name. I don't have a 1d4chan account and there seems to be one or two anons on top of things. 1d4chan archive guys!Some changes for the entry on Sliver Spears>Traitor>Slanneshi>Melee and sniper oriented>Built to be a surgical force, based off of Tae Kwon Do principles of redirection of force, finding and exploiting the weaknesses of the enemy>Favors flamers, sniper rifles, shock mauls, thunderhammers and man-portable lascannons
>>34466727That's amazing. Personally I like Gambit more.
>>34466572Giving yourself a family name implies he created himself a family during his solitude.That implies he went up there in coucou's land (aka he went fucking crazy).And then he became Mr. Best Friend, who to boot only darkside is that he is actually nice because he isn't as strong as his brother.How is this going to fare against Chaos? And for the successor chapters, will their kindness make their weakness enough to beat the TYRANIDS??Yeah.
>>34466726That's...actually a really good point. My whole legion's thing is like the Thousand Sons, but with tech as opposed to psychic powers. Maybe part of why we got our pee-pees slapped is because something we were fucking with messed up the project....
>>34466754Yeah, the whole thing has catchy written all over it. Like the common cold. But better.
>>34466475thats fair although last time I checked I wasnt the only Tzeentch representative - there was a psyker heavy legion.- and yeah the whole batman thing,Thats what i was going for, they start out just being good at espionage and using their intelligence to outwit their opponents, but they slowly start believing their own bullshit, get caught up in a Galactic game with the Eldar who they see as their great nemesis, over the Black Library, all while the Children are gradually getting more insane, then when the Necrons butt their heads in to the mix, the spinning plates start to fall and the whole truth starts getting revealed as they can't keep up with all the shit they're trying to pull.And they get stomped as they slink into the shadows they liked so much.>>34466528they are motivated by secrets and knowledge - they discover Tz, he corrupts them, and thats literally it - they get corrupted by their own thirst for knowledge taking them too far down the rabbit hole. Tz promises them knowledge etc, and they can see the benefit of playing 2 sides off against each other cos thats kind of espionage 101. Its kind of a no-brainer for them, but not something they take lightly.They don't entirely trust Tz, but he appeals to their base naturesthat sound fair enough?
>>34466686Your realize /tg/ will rip you apart when they will see your Legion and then know that?I could self-insert myself into this shit too.And seeing some of those Legions it seems many other did.I thought we were here to produce quality?
>>34466751Just wished to say, Tae Kwon Do is more about direct application, as opposed to redirection. Maybe Judo or Baguazhang?
>>34466364Alrighty then, you take care, man.Doing what Second Founding Guy suggested as a sort of placeholder-but-not-really.
Writing fluff now for the "Steel Broncos" a Not!Arabic bike chapter.Meanwhile, please give input on how to make the Entombed less one-note.
>>34466824Just in case anyone's confused, the very first thread was a "Describe yourself as a Primarch" thread, so some self-insertion is pretty much baked in to the whole thing. Don't get too bent out of shape about it, just try to be constructive and round off the rough edges.
>>34466737Put a Machine that helped him read.You might not know it but letters are just weird signs without another human telling the meaning, concept, and concept behind.Have a machine provide that. The company will also help him not go insane.I still think your self-insert is a terrible idea though.
>>34466854Actually I'll have to write it later, but I'd still appreciate input.
>>34466824Yeah, there's a little bit of self-insert into all our designs. Maybe it doesn't work for you, or some people, but it kind of makes sense to me. People devoid of contact have been known to turn into people who need to be constantly surrounded.
>>34466737>>34466881He does have a point about the reading thing.
>>34466830Not how I learned it, but we did incorporate a bit of judo into it. We mostly learned how to subdue untrained or highly aggressive opponents, so thus the redirection of force with maximum efficiency.
>>34466782Have them be motivated by The Black Library.Tzeenthc gives them some sort of riddle to resolve that has the way to the Black Library encoded in it and that riddle lead them to provoke the Heresy.They understand through the riddle that they are going to cause a gigantic bloodshed, but they also understand that they will gain access to the Black Library and thus can help the Imperium back with its knowledge.Conflicted between helping but yet destroying the Imperium, and using the found Library for mankind, but corrupting themselves through the way.
>>34466933Ah, I see, most of what I learned, and most people I know, was striking and blocking. Very powerful, but a bit slower than some others, with some, but not a whole lot, of misdirection of force.
>>34466762Wait, who says Rook is "nice"? He's the most human of the Primarchs, someone you could imagine cracking a joke with, but - nice? I think you need to think more carefully about words mean, anon.
>>34466975Nice is relative, man. When you're comparing yourself to a robotman who marches through hell fueled by hatred, and a BURN BURN BUUUURN pyromaniac, you're pretty nice.
>>34466968Yeah, we did learn how to do more damage with a block than a punch, and when we did strike, how and where to do the most damage. The redirection plays into both. It certainly is slower, but more often than not, you don't have to take a blow often.
>>34466762>Giving yourself a family name implies he created himself a family during his solitude.How? He was picking a name and it felt weird to only have one.>That implies he went up there in coucou's land (aka he went fucking crazy).He did become unhinged as loneliness will do, but that doesn't mean he went full blown nut job.>And then he became Mr. Best Friend, who to boot only darkside is that he is actually nice because he isn't as strong as his brother.He's feeding off the thing he was starved of. He also ended up jaded and sarcastic. This is where his sense of humor comes from. He isn't just a nice guy, he's basically like a lovable dick.>How is this going to fare against Chaos? And for the successor chapters, will their kindness make their weakness enough to beat the TYRANIDS??Because it's logical for a learned man to look for human contact in a screeching nightmare bug. Stop trying so hard.>Your realize /tg/ will rip you apart when they will see your Legion and then know that?What >>34466877 said. I created this legion around myself because that was the first thread.>Have a machine provide that. The company will also help him not go insane.I actually almost went with something like this, but a computer felt out of place in a relic lighthouse. I guess it could be said he landed with it but that felt forced. There are also records of people teaching themselves to read. It's just not easy.
Am I to take the fact that nobody is responding to my requests for input as an indication that you guys think my legion is pretty complete and well-rounded, or as just talking about other stuff?
>>34466770A Rogue AI Program collapsing the defences of the Imperial Webway Project? I like the sound of that.
>>34466888trips.I see also many Legions that are actually well done and original, Legions that could actually get in the canon without people facepalming.You guys really expect the people who didn't participate in those threads to accept those when they are obvious low-quality, no they will tell you your Legions are shit and go make their own with their own self-inserts..........Btw, I have to check your Legion next.
>>34467013Also, the idea with the maximum damage off of one blow is the root of the sniper rifle and shock/thunder hammers. The flamers are more for the sake of suppression.
>>34467040Probs a bit of both.
>>34467040Sorry I was preoccupied with "critique".
>>34466975You remember it's 40k right?
>>34467063I'd appreciate a harsh critique of The Entombed
>>34467013>>34467046Touche. I learned more into styles like Krav Maga and Vanguard, which is all about disabling a foe as quickly as possible and getting the hell out of dodge, it's weak against a good defense, but strong against other offensive methods. I guess my Legion's methodology rooted from that part of the idea.
>>34467045Besides the fact you dislike my primarch for not ending up 100% Curze, do you actually have any real complaints about my legion? Up until you showed up, people seemed to like it.
>>34466997Granted. But then, Sanguinius was nice, Rogal Dorn was nice, etc, etc.>>34467081... oh, you're right, sorry. Let's make the AU exactly the same as the GW version. No deviations, but it's /tg/'s 40k.(See how fun it is when we talk past each other?)
>>34467108Yeah, for me it was my martial arts training, and my preference for high-caliber sniper rifles.
>>34467040Same boat, man.
>>34467040They're one note but it's an awesome note. You could do more, though I think at the moment we need more Successors so I'm more inclined to support your efforts there.
>>34467025Those people who learnt by themselves SAW others read first guaranteed. You will convince nobody he actually thought himself to read...UNLESS he had psychic powers that allowed him to see the meaning out of the remains of feelings from the people who wrote.But since he is Mr. "I'm Just a Normal Guy, Hey" I bet you won't have that.See, you are the one trying to push things too hard.A mostly human Primarch is a terrible idea that can't fit in 40k.Your Legion has nothing effective that set them apart on the battlefield, and 40k is about the battlefield, NOT about having friends.So I will say to you "Stop trying so hard", and listen.
>>34467177Alright well I'm raiding ulduar on a private server right now but I'll work on the Iron Broncos later.
>>34467040>>34467167Ok, all my stuff is fluffed for the moment.Give me a quick overview please, I am doing many things at once.
>>34467167Need more information on them. Is there stuff that hasn't gone into the wiki?
>>34467086Give me some time, if I'm not half-asleep I will give it a try.Have to say thought, yours seems about the most reasonable so far. To the point, themed, and not overly exaggerated.
>>34467187>Your Legion has nothing effective that set them apart on the battlefieldlaughingspacemarines.gif(Extra-appropriate for the Nova Defenders)
>>34467196Hell, I'm not even sure how much is going on, I've posted a couple of ideas, though...>So, question, who am I distracting to keep them from assisting in the defence of Terra?>Can I be the one to incite said Warp Storm? Seems like something the primarch would be willing to do, and the sneaky bit is his style.>>34466770
>>34467187Anon makes a good point.Aubrey Pre-Heresy is meant to be quite nice.Cares about the little people due to his upbringing, going from bottom caste to top caste.Medic to Warrior.But in the end he understands that healing can only get you so far.Heal a mans army, he may remember you, but he will turn on you.Destroy a mans army, he will never forget you.We are meant to be Astartes...Primarchs.Not Rogue Traders.
>>34467191> UlduarIs that for real anon?-Point me to it pls...
>>34467253of what you need help with, legion, etc?
>>34467112Your marines seem extra-bland.And weak too.>>34467152Put some more thinking into that one.
>>34467255I think this can be settled just by writing what North and the Nova Defenders did during the Crusade. He needs to be depicted as a warrior, for sure, but making assumptions about what will be written and attacking those is counter-productive.
>>34467216Few ideas that flush farther in the story, basically. Still trying to figure out most of the details. Lots of good story ideas are floating around, though, trying to fit into some. It would be nice to be a bit more than "those guys who distracted some loyalist legion during the siege."Especially considering our obsession with tech and ties to the Mechanicus.
>>34467086Everything seems like it should be dripping in hyperbole, but it isn't. Toning down their hatred for the Life Bringers, and make it more reasonable. They seem completely overwhelming even for 40k. Also prevents you from allowing for much character depth.
>>34467086I'm a big fan of the Undertaker idea, but the rest seems generic. Not sure if that's really a criticism.>>34467187>But since he is Mr. "I'm Just a Normal Guy, Hey" I bet you won't have that.That was a title dubbed by others due to the fact he's weaker and has a sense of humor.>A mostly human Primarch is a terrible idea that can't fit in 40k.Not mostly human, just physically weaker than the other legions/primarchs.>Your Legion has nothing effective that set them apart on the battlefield, and 40k is about the battlefield, NOT about having friends.>nothing effective that set them apart on the battlefieldConfirmed for not reading my Legion description. They're practically a gimmick army. Their whole thing is they don't fight like other legions.>Your marines seem extra-bland.What I said above.PMCAnon, is that you?
>>34467283Just trying to figure out what's all gone down since I was last discussing this stuff. And figure out what can be done for assistance.
>>34467309True, but they need some form of edge.When weak astartes was mentioned, first thing that came to mind was Squats or ratlings.Give them something to make them a feared astartes legion.Do we even have a Terror specialist legion?Or Mechanised specialists?
>>34467348I don't know how all-terminators-and-dreads is generic.>>34467318I've already sort of done that, since Golgothos is AWOL hunting the LB primarch now. The Entombed are now mostly auxiliaries who supplement other legions as Termy+Dread shock troops, especially when xenos are involved.
>>34467316OK. So what's Merrill like? What about him stood out from the other Primarchs, in the way that Lumey is the asshat, Orannis understands data but not people, Tyran is cowardly, etc?
>>34467358Well, there is an instance where the scribes have been pissing off the Mechanicus.If you have close ties, you'll definitely have something to say about it.My chapter has too much going on that I can create some form of probably for you.The BetrayalCorrupting HektorIsstvanBattle of Saturn.etc.
>>34467365>>34467348Teamwork. The Legion's soldiers are closer together than anybody else's. They're the best at working as a large group. Just like mine are specialized to be alone or in small teams, you'd be the polar opposite. They work best as a single, large force.When they hit the ground, you're not looking at a company or two at a time, you're looking down the barrels of an entire Legion.
>>34467348Well, it seems I have to read more of the description. You got me on that one.Still the whole "I learned how to read by myself, and I was alone for decades and yet I'm friendly to people"Soooo off.
NEW THREAD>>34467475NEW THREAD>>34467475
>>34467407Alright. So the 1d4chan article is a bit outdated? Alright. Now for the nitpicking: The have no real weakness, they have tons of heavy armor and weapons, seemingly can produce dreadnoughts, and seem to be able to keep a sustainable presence on the field despite not being able to recover quickly. Having them as auxiliaries helps this, though.
>>34467309This is the worst thing to do.It's like "forcing the badass"There is nothing worse than movies, animes, ect that try to "force the badass"The thing looks like a clown and yet you see him crush planets, throw meteors, but he is still a clown.A clown throwing meteors is still a fucking clown.
>>34467413He's physically one of the weaker primarchsExcellent with a spear, thoughHe works best with small groups, and is mostly a sneaky bastard.Downfall is his obsession with tech. What they have is NEVER good enough. He always NEEDS to push the boundaries, regardless of the risks involved.We figured we'd installed some corrupted AI's into our gear, and that started the downfall to Chaos, but it's more like the Iron Warriors, we play lip service, but aren't fully dedicated to the gods.If he doesn't die post-heresy, have him in some lab with Dark Mechanicum, constantly coming up with new/crazy shit to deploy.
>>34467442I call Eldar shenanigans of the highest calibre!I bet he's secretly a vampire and wiped out the entire populous of the planet.I bet his whole legion keep the facade of being nice and friend...because they are secretly all mutated blind bat people who feast on blood...Or you know...he's just a cave dweller.
>>34467503They don't not recover quickly, they do not recover at all. They do not recruit, every casualty is a permanent loss for the legion.
>>34467407Generic was the wrong word, I meant flat I guess. They have their "WE FUCKING HATE THE LIFEBRINGERS" thing, but that kind of felt like it.>>34467427That is very much what I intended when I came up with this legion. They create blockades and push the enemy back with a fuck load of marines with shields.>>34467442Then he can have a learning AI to teach him to read. I honestly don't care that much.>>34467509His legion isn't MORE BAD ASS then others, he just uses team work and strategy to compensate for his handicap.>>34467531The planet was barren when I got there. I swear.
>>34467685So they are the Imperial Guard made Marines?What can turn their teamwork into something that isn't done better by the Imperial Guard and that would actually have them survive a Galaxy KNOWN for crushing billions.At least the Ultramarines have a book inspired by the brightest military genius of all times. They have an entire empire that provide them resources.Your Primarch only has a barren rock and good feelings................................................................................. and he uses shields lol