http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=neckbeard+questPrevious threadsIf you wish to switch character files, even number must simply suggest PAUSE, FILE SELECT. You may second even numbers in hopes your post lands an even number.-----Well, your body can fuel off of sweets, tastey foods, cum, and-
>-HOLY SHIT IT'S MUSKY IN HEREYou are now /k/ay.
>>34561658Brandish your authority as the anal princess to order the commoners to stand down.
>>34561658Don't panic, go take a shower and vent the room a bit.
>>34561658"Dare you treat royalty this way?"
>Time for Upgrade to a Higher Being
>>34562017Do we have the status effects to do this?
>>34561658Enjoy it, savor it, stay inside it.
>>34561658Become one with the fitizen
>>34561709>>34561768>>34562054>>34562081Do all of these things.
Do everything but not in the same order
>>34561746You're trapped in a pile of /fit/ guys. Kind of stuck.>>34561768>Dare you treat royalty this way?!"Yeah, pretty much."
Pretend you're playing twister, and you're winning.
>>34562054Well, it's not like your husband is going to find out, right..?Better enjoy being a bachelorette before heading home.
>>34562328"B-but I poop from there!"
>>34562350Throw them off with the power of righteous fury!
>>34562350WAIT! You're no whore!!! Sure you have a fetish or 2 but gangbangs aren't your style.
Feel the muscles against you>Feel the fitizen>Realize you had fitizens up your ass
>>34562350Use your anal prowess to bring out anon instrumentality
>>34562350"Why is my head not being used again?"
>>34562438>>34562428In that order
>>34562469You mean mouth right? Because I'm pretty sure you mean mouth, and I'd support that course of action
>>34562350>Check ass for spaghetti
Rolled 4 (1d5)>>34562428>>34562430>>34562438>>34562480>>34562492One thing at a time, /k/ay..
>>34562480>Well, this isn't SO ba-
>>34563786>>34563786Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart Don't fart
OP is a slack-jawed faggot
>>34563938Or she's just getting connection errors out the ass.
Use the old text box if you want to post. Quick reply doesn't work right now.
god damnit moot
>>34562428>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA>OFFA ME YOU VAPID, SMELLY WHORES
>>34564096>Moot is real /f/itizen>You are the one trapped under him>The circle of life is complete
>>34564128You can fart now.
>>34564128>Our clothes are still onWow, what shitty whores
>>34564128Hunt that dank bitch down
>>34564128Find your man.
>>34564148Finish what /she/ started
>>34564128Seek and Destroy Yorick
>>34564281>bumping after 5 minutesWhat?
>>34564138And DAMN what a relief.
>>34564148>>34564196You lost track of her. You don't even know where you are.Better start your search.
>>34564468Go back to the fitizen partyAsk around for info
>>34564468Check your ass for hints
>>34564468Enter a random thread.Offer anal sex.
>>34564444>meanwhile, gangbang continues, nobody actually noticed you're missing
>>34564468Go to the train station.
Ask the person in the middle if they saw anything, they're the closest anyway.
>>34564468We need ammo, We need to find a map to make our way over to /k/ also this wig is ichy
Don't go to the party, they'll probably try to wrestle you down again. That means more effort. You want to keep that energy pent up for when you bash yorick's head in.
>>34564468Head to /k/ for reinforcements.
>>34564488Probably the best place to go.
>>34564488This, with a side order of >>34564493 that, and maybe some >>34564512 of this
>>34564652Do thisGather army>become street gang
Rolled 4 (1d7)>>34564488>>34564512 >>34564514 >>34564590 >>34564592 >>34564652 >>34564748
>>34564590>Hey! You there!"Hm?"Now, what was the question, /k/ay?
>>34564998Did you see a crazy head attached to a large doll body?
>>34564998Fancy a ride on the anal princess?
>>34564998Where did the sex doll go? Also, where's the nearest weapon shop?
"Sick tech, where'd the doll bitch go?"
>>34565212I said, fancy taking a ride on the anal princess, as in would you like to fuck me?
>>34565212Where's the train station?
>>34565212Did you see a sex doll run past here?
>>34565212Are there any barbers open right now?
>>34565212>>34565298White hair, ball joints, Looks like it was just hit with a crowbar
>>34565389I feel like this is all the same guy trying real hard but only getting odds.
>>34565298>Did you see a sex doll run past here?"Be more specific.">>34565330>White hair>Ball joints>Looks like it was just hit with a crowbar"Oh, that. I think I caught a glimpse of her running toward the park. Friend of yours?">>34565314>Are there any barbers open right now"Not that I know of, try looking around or waiting until day.""But I do think there is this salon shop in downtown, but it's really expensive."
>>34565415Thank him, possibly with your anus, then head to the park.
>>34565415TO THE PARKalso in return for his help he deserves the wig we are wearing, >here you go
>>34565415Now about about ride on the anal princess.
>>34565415Go to the Salon.
Bolt off towards the park and leave a note saying>Maybe next time - Anal Queen
>>34565415Do we still have our gun?
>>34565486Please, we haven't been properly coronated yet. No reason to lie about our official title.
>>34565528There's no denying it. Gives us time to reassure ourselves and assert dominance
>>34565486secondedbut with princess
>>34565620What happens if some other anal princess is crowned?We'd look downright silly then.Might start an anal war with us as the pretender.
>>34565659Anal civil war Left cheekests vs right Holes vs cracks
>>34565452"Waitholdup""YOU'RE that femanon who beat the ANAL PRINCESS 2013 competition?"
>>34565742"I can prove it">Recruit to party>Promise buttfucks after destroying Yorick
>>34565781>Not offering them now>Not showing him how fast we can work it
>>34565742"Yes, but you're not worth my time."Sashay away, waggling our ass at him while we go.
>>34565781>>34565816Either or both of these.
>>34565742"Yes, what exactly was the prize for winning, again?"
>>34565866Legitimacy for the Ass Queendom.
>>34565893As a princess would we be next in line or just own a princedom?
>>34565921Princess and Prince are a landless titles.If we had land, it'd be from a title given to us from a holder, usually our patron(I.E. The ruler of the realm, in this case the Ass Queen).Most likely we're just in the line of succession.
>>34566017So if, say, Ass Queen has an unfortunate accident...
>>34566059Probably a mad scramble for power by all the anal princesses and dukes of prostate.
>>34565742Yes, but not by choice.
Rolled 3 (1d3)>>34565866>>34566112>Yes, and not by choice. What exactly was the prize for winning, again?"The sash, tiara, bouquet and 65k prize money. I mean, you did win it, how would you not have known?">>34565816>>34565826>>34565860Let's see if we can ask him one more of these questions.
>>34566553Hey you forget what planet you're on after all that assfucking.Do you want to help me? >Quick add reasons why he'd want to help us
>>34565781>>34565816>>34565860>I can prove that I did win that competition right now~>But you'll have to agree to help me destroy said sex doll after."L-look, I'm glad that you won that competition, but you really don't have to boast about it with me.""I need to get home, anyways.."
>>34566742"I have a loaded gun on me, that wasn't a question."
>>34566553That banshee better not have stolen our prize money.Think of all the guns you could buy with 65k.
Drag him along with you if he refuses, that bitch has YOUR money and YOUR tiara
>>34566742>Check bank account.
>>34566742Run to the park.
>>34566742Give him a butt bump to his hip or crotch, whichever is easier to reach(and draw).
>Update>See Teli's post seconds after it pops up from being lucky.>Keep getting posting errors with my reply>Finally get to post>People have already gotten through and secondedI-I just wanted to feel special...
>>345668734chan is fucking up all over the place today.
>>34566873You will always be special to me... Anon-senpai.
>>34566742Good, you have proven yourself to be a man with reasonable constraint, have a goodnight.TO THE PARK!!
>>34566742Promise him a cut of that 65K if he joins you on your quest for vengance and a sensible haircut.
>>34566790>I have a loaded gun on me.>That wasn't a question."Ulp."
>>34567379"But if everything works out, you're still getting your reward. Now move it."
>>34567379explain to him the situation as you had for the park
You dragged him along with you to the nearest park. Your bare feet are starting to freeze, your body is getting cold.You are currently hungry.>>34566756You have no idea where the money is, it probably is stored away safely in the thread you two were staying in.
>>34567438>hadI would have typed "head" there if i werent so tired.
Compliment him on how nice his (biomechanic?) head looks.
>>34567439"This is the part where you either notice I'm barefeet, act like gentleman and offer me your shoes, or keep ignoring that and have me take them myself. At the gunpoint. Your call."Kiss him if he opts for the first choice.
>>34567439ask him about any gun stores nearby where we could get ammunition.
>>34567515we cant let him know we dont have bullets!
>>34567439Well fuck revenge. Go back and get your prize money.
Ask him if his mechanical parts have sensors>If yes, ask him to search for the bitch>If no, do it anyway
>>34567541well maybe we are looking for even more bullets?
>>34567712Just ask him where the gunstore is then, we cant let him try figuring out that we have none in the first place. I mean sure we could pistol whip him but then he'd be useless!
>>34567506>This is the part where you either notice I'm barefeet, act like gentleman and offer me your shoes,>or keep ignoring that and have me take them myself.>At the gunpoint.>Your call.
>>34567608pretty sure yorrick blew it all on the manwhores and strobelights for that party
"I would but...""... I don't have any shoes."
Well, shit.Fuck revenge, go back for the money? Or go grab ammunition?
>>34567956Money, then ammunition.
>>34567956Money and then let out some of this stress by shopping for guns/ammo while we forget all about yorick until then next time see her.
Money and Ammunition after>Then come back and search more deliberately
>>34567956Money, and if we happen to find some ammunition then it's a bonus.
>>34567956ammo first.ask how much money the bionic anon has on him and promise to pay him back after we find out the location from yorrick
>>34567984>>34568036>>34568045>>34568055>>34568072do we even know where the money is? The money being at the thread was just a guess wasn't it?
>>34568081>ask how much money the bionic anon has on himhe doesn't even have shoes, pretty sure he's one of those Shadowrun types with million worth of cybernetics in his body but not enought cash to afford rent or decent meal
>>34567956>be neck beard
You drag the bionic Anon with you and return to the thread you woke up in. Looks like the party simmered down already. There is a couple of unconscious bodies lying around, and it smells heavily like marinara, tobacco and muskiness.
>>34568475He never asked for this.
>>34568475Explain that you don't know these people, they just fucked you in the ass.
>>34568475Go upstairs and get your victory sash.
>>34568475Ask sleeping beauty over there where the cash prize is.
>>34568567>>34568577These two in that order.
>Pickpocket everyone of their cash>Get better fitting outfit>Get some god damn shoes and socks
>>34568635>>34568643All of these things
Ask for Bionic Anon's name
>>34568643we have womens clothes now not the man pants any more
>>34568626"Huh? Oh.. You're money's in a safe inside, let me grab it."
"Give me a minute."
>>34568936You decide to pickpocket everyone's pockets. You have looted a total of 1,650 money + 2 pounds of spaghetti.
Are thumbnails broken for anyone else?
>>34568792>Hey, what's your name?"Just Anonymous."
>>34569880>no pocket eggsTeli i am disappoint.
>>34569908Impatient wait for money.
>>34569898Seems to happen occasionally nowadays.
>Call him Robotnik
Look at what's behind the desk
>>34569962>I'll call you Robotnik."... No, no thank you."
>>34570543Is it just me or is his bionics slowly taking over his face?
>>34570543Continue to call him robotnikHe can't stop you
>>34570543Go see what that counter guy is doing.
>>34570462>>34570502Before you could loot anything, the OP returns with a duffel bag."Here's your money. I'm going back to sleep now."You received 35,000 money.
>>34570543Ask him if things like this usually go down. When not being at gunpoint of course.
>>34570598Ask where the nearest gunshop isIt's time for ammunition.
>>34570624and maybe even a new gun!
>>34570598What happened too the rest?
>>34570598>35k"Nigga I was promised 65"
>>34570598Ask if the sex doll took the rest.
>>34570624"I heard there's one blocks away from here, but they probably moved deeper into the city..">>34570688"She told me you used the money to buy her a new body, and gave 5,000 for the party."
Thank him for his time, he did get you at least most of your cash.>Head down a block, investigate for gunshop>Keep an eye out for Yorick>Take robotnik with you
I forget, couldn't we actually summon that one clothing store or were we just stumbling upon it at random with different characters?
>>34570959Let's head to /k/. Better deals probably.
>>34570959acquire shoes and have a meal with bionic anon.
>>34570999ALL HAIL THE TRIPS
>>34571005I think you input up up down down left right left right b a to summon it.
>>34570999Let's do this thing after using>>34571039
>>34571005>>34571039code only worked when we were the dogand made him dogboy>be neckbeard
>>34571439No, it also worked with cryface mcgee and Garush
>>34571480I thought they were just at the shop when we switched from 1-armed lustman to the neckbeard save file also when cryanon tried to do the code he just threw him self around like an idiot
>>34571566I might have missed that part. But either way they still got into the shop.
>>34571048>up up down down left right left right b a
>Request finest wedding gown>Get some armor!
>>34572032"Please show me your selection of clothes for operators."
Would you happen to have a selection of clothes for both of us?
>>34572032>Hello TV ladyAsk for >High speed low drag cargo pants>Black turtleneck>Shoulder holster>Combat boots>Socks
>>34572082>>34572121Why not both?
>>34572121Don't forget the tactical sunglasses.
>>34572215Did you mean.. CSI: MIAMI glasses?We must buy them
>>34572142>>34572236>Turtle neck, black$250>High speed low drag cargo pants$300>Combat boots$410>Socks"You didn't specify what socks, but I assume just some comfy, generic tubes?"$16>Shoulder holster$25"It adds up to $1061. Am I missing anything else?"
Compliment her on her figure and ask for some duds for the studly bioman
>>34572471A thong with an inbuilt vibrator.A one Chainmail swimsuit, full body, but it's got hooks inbuilt all around the inside, our little gift for our doll friend
>>34572471Got any guns/ammo?
>>34572524>>34572533Second.Make that thong duo-vibratory though, one for each orfice
Ask the gentleman beside you if he wants anything>Inb4 a request to leave
>>34573474Teli is not for lewds!
>>34574033>do not sexualise the Teli
>>34574033>>34572471Turbosexualize the teli
>>34573474>>34574033>>34574725Bionic anon should tell teli she has nice wires.
>>34572471>that outfitOper8or/10. Would operate with.
>>34572471Get a haircut, too, while you're at it.
>>3457658590's tough chick haircut.
Battle rattle GET
>>34572524That totals up to 2011. Purchase no-
>>34572471Leather Jacket and a 9mm
Are we auto sage or did I wake up in an empty thread?>>34578748It now totals up to $2511. Confirm any purchases?
>>34579295confirm purchasesBionic Anon continue pickup lines: I bet they sparkle in the twilight.
>>34579295confirm purchasesask about the pit
>>34579336"Thank you! Your remaining money is $34,639-""I bet they sparkle in the twilight..">>34579376"Um..."
"Good bye!"Now leaving the sun.
>>34579945/k/ay pull bionic anon off of teli and set out to do whatever it was we were going to do.Murder yorrick, was it?
>>34579988yorick did win us 65K thoughsure she spent 35K of it, but technically she was the one who originally won it, she just used our body to do so.She left us the other 30K, so I'm really not feeling too mad anymore.
>>34580080>She left us the other 30K, so I'm really not feeling too mad anymore.Yeah, lets not be anal about it.
>>34579972>Go to train station
>>34580148Whatever you say, princess.
It is now 11:06 pm. Still 35f, but you are less cold. Still hungry, kind of tired.>>34579988>>34580080>>34580148You realized what Yorick had actually done for you, now harboring less anger toward her.Maybe consider finding her and head home?Your Bionic companion speaks up,"I'd like to go home now."
>>34581262Ok. Give me your number in case I have need of your services once again.
>>34581262"My, my, aren't you a bit forward? We just met."let him squirm for a little bit"Well, as long as there's a dinner included, I'm game."
>>34581410Stupid name staying on, sorry
>>34581340>>34581318>My, my, aren't you a bit forward? We just met.He's looking uncomfortable."That's not what I meant-">Well, as long as there's a dinner included, I'm game."But-">At least give me your number before you go, in case I have need of your services once again.He groaned, reaching into his pocket, searching for his phone.
"Here, just copy this onto whatever phone or paper you got."
>>34582078switch on your thong. keep it that way.
>>34582293Steal his phone
>>34582078touch his face to assert dominance, then go to the amunitions store.
>>34582293Memorize as best as possible, then do this >>34582358
>>34582358make sure to keep your hand as floppy as possible for maximum authority
Test out the number, it could be a fake!
>>34582304>>34582330You switched from cargo pants to your thong. Your legs are now cold.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>34582358>>34582500Your floppily touched his face for dominance. Bionic Anon is further uncomfortable.>>34582600>>34582470You memorized the number, but>>34582664You checked for legitimacy...1,It is legit2,It's fake
>>34583058Realise it was stupid idea and put cargo pants back on, keep the thong, you can actually wear underwear once in a while.Crash nearest fastfood and order double of the best they serve.
>>34583111Make him give you the real one, along with his home address as punishment for lying.
>>34583194>>34583207Both of these
>>34583207slap him lightly as well
>>34583111Remember your husband you buttwhore
>>34583548Asserting dominance over a first minion is no whoring manner>he wont be gettin the booty
>>34583111Call him out on it.
>>34583111Fine, let's just go get Yorick. We should get back to our alcohol producing hubby.
>>34583548I think the real philosophical question is this: if you have no memory of, and were under the control of another during said butt whoring, are you yourself really a butt whore?
>>34583581I thought the minions was the beardstroty's stick
>>34585832It can be anyone's shtick. If neckbeard gets /k/ay under his wing then he auto gets Robotnik
>>34583194You put your cargo pants over your thong. Your legs and butt are no longer cold.>>34583388You gave him a light slap and told him naughty naughty, give me your real info. If he didn't gave you his info, you'll shoot him in the leg and leave him nude and tied up in an alleyway!So he complied. You now have knowledge of his home thread and number.
It's time we get our priorities straight: Find Yorick, return home to dear husband.She probably isn't at the park still, is she? Where would she be by now?
>>34587113Probably at a club.
>>34587113ummmmmmmmmmm she went home?
>>34587113Let's start by looking around our current area.
>>34587113Working her ass off at a brothel.
>>34587113Have a sudden strike of paranoia and look behind you quickly.
>>34587113Use your butt compass to detect her
>>34587113She's behiiiiiiiind yooou
>>34587174>>34587198>>34587304EH?!Oh, there she is. She probably thinks you're still angry at her.
>>34587113Well, let's just look around. Start heading in the opposite direction?
>>34587472>tell her to "stoppit">ask her "The last train is soon where is the station?">go home?
>>34587472We are though.
>>34587472Well, you run faster when you're horny than she does when she's scared. Give chase.
>>34587472Yell to Yorick to get her ass over here because we're going back home.
>>34587472Tell her we can go home now. Unless she wants to stay here.
>>34587472Offer her threesome with husband.
>>34587472fourthing >>34587523tell her we forgave her too
>>34591171Do keep in mind that she used our body to fuck so many fitizens that we became the anal princess. Surely our husband will find out about this and he will be very upset. We must further show our annoyance with her as she has most likely ruined our relationship with alcohol!tears
>>34591275as long as we never let husband in our ass he will never know. The wig
>>34591275I dunno thoughthat 30K she got usand we already chased her out of her own party and savagely beat her
>>34591275...We tied him up and rode him like a workhorse without giving him a choice. And he knows Whitehair and will understand if /K/ay was possessed at the time.He might even want a shot at the backdoor himself./K/ay will let him after the pegging.
>>34591275>implying he won't appreciate our new anal skills
>>34591387>No reason to still not want to kill her though>inb4 Money
>>34587518>>34587578>YORICK>GET BACK HERE NOW"NO"
>>34591469Wreck her shit!
>>34591483>"I swear I'm not mad">"I'll only swallow your head with my ass a little."
>>34591483Flying tackle scissor kick
>WE'RE GOING HOME"You're not gonna beat my head in?">No.>>34588224>I'll let you have a threesome with me and Anon if you come home with me now..!"DEAL"
>>34591483Come back here and show me how to get home!!!!!!!!!
Yorick for once actually seems interested in Anon.>His attempts at seduction worked
You are now Neckbeard. Boy, you did some crazy shit while this thread stopped paying attention to you.You also recruited 3 minions, stole 10 souls, and locked that weird one armed incubus up in Catgirl Baker's closet!
>>34591537Check Soul count
>>34591537woohoocheck stat screen then go out to get food i am hungry
>>34591554Contemplate on the flavor of souls.>Would the boy in the stomach be affected by these souls?
>>34591537Eat the Incubus and steal his powers.. Become the avatar of Gluttony and Lust.
>>34591537Go on rampage in /d/.
>>34591673If we went to /b/ the cluster fuck would only increase out demon powers. (Going to the source of all evil will only make us stronger.)
>>34591537You're also on autosage, Beardy. Might want to invade a new thread.
>>34591813Will start a new thread with the update, then. Gonna take a break for tonight, see you in the morning.
>>34591831nitestay televiseddon't let your cathode ray tubes burn out
>>34591537Wait, you should go back and recruit that incubus. It may pay off having another demonic ally.