This is the shittiest damn part of the shittiest damn planet in the shittiest damn area of the whole of the Inner Sphere.And, of course, the planet has a name to match. Detroit. A planet that's seen its glory days come and go, since the decline of the Detroit Consolidated Mechworks and Aerospace, and a planet that has way too many Wobbies for your liking. Hell, there's too many Capcon nerds around too. This used to be an independent planet, and that was the way you liked it. But it's 3069, and independence hasn't been something this planet has had for twelve years.You're Andre Meilleur, and you have a sinking feeling that this story isn't actually about you.This sinking feeling is compounded by your 'Mech's startup sequence.“Reactor online. Sensors...” and there it stops. It pauses for a few moments, and then buzzes angrily in your ear. “Sensors error. Magscan inoperable. Seismic sensors inoperable. Radar operable. Weapons online.”No 'all systems nominal.' That's a bad omen. You punch the sensor display in the console ahead of you. It flickers briefly before going blank again. You punch it a few more times, in hopes that a little 'kinetic adjustment' would fix this. All this accomplishes is for you to knock over the framed picture of your adopted daughter.Grumbling and swearing, you set the picture back atop your weapons status readout, and then key the microphone to your operator. “Hey, sensors packed up.”A bored-sounding female voice replies. “You know we can't scrub the mission. You should've checked this before we left.”You roll your eyes and sigh. “I [i]did[/i] check. They worked fine back on the Wyrm.”“Well, we could scrub the mission, lose our Liao contact, and any hope of those deployment plans. Or, you could suck it up, and go in anyway. It's not like they know you're coming.”
“Suck it up, she says.” You key the microphone off, and continue to grumble to yourself. Easy in and out, right? Sneak in, get the good Doctor, and get the fuck out. All before anybody knows what's up. The lights in the 'Mechbay dim to a dull red, and your operator pipes up again.“So since you're not bitching and moaning about your sensors anymore, I assume we're not scrubbing. Which is good, because we're going to start equalizing the pressure.” When she finishes that last word, water comes pouring into the submarine's 'Mechbay.You punch the sensor display once more, but it does nothing.SELECT YOUR MECH:>Raven RVN-3X (Triple Strength Myomer, faster and stronger at a certain level of heat, outdated ECM suite. No jump jets.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Raven>Raven RVN-3L (Updated Guardian ECM suite, has TAG capabilities for laser-guided artillery strikes. No jump jets.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Raven>Urbanmech UM-R60L (Has jump jets. Has an AC-20. Is an Urbanmech. Baller.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Urbanmech>Firestarter FS-9 (Has flamers. Seriously, fire. Is also fast with jump jets.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Firestarter
>>35530282>Urbanmech UM-R60L (Has jump jets. Has an AC-20. Is an Urbanmech. Baller.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Urbanmech
>>35530282Urbanmech is the only logical choice.
>>35530282>>Urbanmech UM-R60L (Has jump jets. Has an AC-20. Is an Urbanmech. Baller.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/Urbanmech
>>35530282>Raven RVN-3L (Updated Guardian ECM suite, has TAG capabilities for laser-guided artillery strikes. No jump jets.) http://www.sarna.net/wiki/RavenBringing a light mech into a brawl sounds like a stupid idea to me.
>>35530512Out of all the mechs listed, the Urbie is probably best at brawling.This isn't supposed to be a brawl, though. Just a quick in-and-out extraction. Promise.
“So, let me get this right,” you say. “This is supposed to be a quick in-and-out extraction, right?”“Right,” your operator responds.“And generally you want to focus on stealth and speed for those, right?”“Also right.”“So why, for the love of fuck, am I piloting an Urbanmech?”The line is silent for a bit. “Because it was the only thing that would fit in the sub's launch tubes. By the way, you should brace.”The Urbanmech rockets out of the vertical launch tube of the submarine, and you're sprawling in the water, trying to regain your balance. All you can see outside the main viewport of the 'Mech's head is dark water, too many air bubbles, and occasionally the dark blob of the submarine as you spin over it.TIME FOR A PILOTING SKILL ROLL!Roll me a 2d6, first one is the one who counts. 6+ to not fail your underwater PSR.
>>35530282ac20 on an urbie?sign me up
Rolled 1, 5 = 6 (2d6)>>35530805
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)>>35530805high or low good?
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d6)>>35530805Ha.
>>35530829High is good. Generally, you always want to roll high. Unless it's on a hit table. For your fall damage. Because a 12 is the head. And that's how Mechwarriors die.
>>35530805Well when we are inevitably spotted and hunted we can really mess up anyone who gets to close I guess.
Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6)>>35530805You should count more rolls. Not averaging them, but counting falls vs successes.
>>35530986I actually have a solution to that- I'm not going to do the counting fails v. successes, but if you've played any tabletop BT, generally combat generates a LOT of rolls. I intend to have people roll 2d6, and I'll take them starting from the top for to-hits, damage locations, PSRs, et cetera. This was only one roll because it was only one PSR.
>6>you niggas barely passedYour ascent is punctuated with cursing and fucks, all the way up. Eventually, you manage to stabilize the freakish tumbling cartwheel that your launch imparted on your Urbanmech, and you slowly sink to the bottom, and manage to land on the seafloor with both of your feet.You pump both of your fists into the air. “Whoo! Suck it! Black people CAN swim!”“Your mic is open.”“Don't care. Suck it!”Your operator sighs. “Well, when you want to stop celebrating, and get on with the mission, in your own time.”“Stop raining on my parade.”“That's my job.”“Racist.”“What?”“You're just raining on my parade because I'm black.”“I- ugh. Shut up and go.”“Yes, massa. Don't punish me, massa. Andre'll be good, massa.” Chuckling and smiling to yourself, you slowly trundle through the port of the city of Flint. You climb up a slope into the seaport proper of Flint.“Your contact should be in Deer Park.”You pause for a second. “He's sitting in the park. What, is he expecting a CIA-style handoff where everybody's all subtle and doing tradecraft and all that other shit?” And you're going to bring a 30 ton trashcan to the meeting.Oh yeah. You can do subtle real well.> Head straight to the park. Time is of the essence.> Beat on your sensor column a bit more. Working magscan and seismic sensors would be a godsend. (Roll either a 2d6 or a d20 for this option.)> Write-in.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>35531150> Beat on your sensor column a bit more. Working magscan and seismic sensors would be a godsend. (Roll either a 2d6 or a d20 for this option.)heh, I like quest us
>a Wyrm>on DetroitThe wobbies only used the Wyrm on Terra. Which means, we're not wobbies. Which means, the only way a Wyrm can be on Detroit is if the Wobbies died of sudden onset tacnuke syndrome before they could accept their last order.Which means we're basically a PMC... with a supercarrier. Oh.Okay. That's... this ends in flames
>>35531205Close. Very close! But not quite.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>35531150>Beat on your sensor column a bit more. Working magscan and seismic sensors would be a godsend. (Roll either a 2d6 or a d20 for this option.)Well, at least we have an AC20.
Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d6)> Beat on your sensor column a bit more. Working magscan and seismic sensors would be a godsend. (Roll either a 2d6 or a d20 for this option.)Gotta see where we are walking.
>>35531252Wait. Wait. SHIT. I'VE GOT IT. We're not a PMC. No PMC could afford their own fucking supercarrier capable of mounting anti-orbital weaponry (unless you're the Wolves Dragoons and you bring a fucking mobile factory ship with you while trying to keep a low profile durrhurr). And, this begs the question - why the fuck didn't they use the horrific amounts of on-board weaponry that ship mounts to do the job? Or, you know, a GOOD mech?There's only one possible way you could own a WYVERN SUPERCARRIER, but not any missiles, weapons, troops or even a mech worth a damn to put on it... and that is if you LITERALLY OWN A FACTORY THAT MAKES SUPERCARRIERS. The factory does not make cruise missiles, or mechs. The factory is staffed by production engineers, who are competent at productiony engineering, not operating operationally. So we're basically Adam Jensen, and David Sariff is sailing around the oceans of Detroit in a Wyvern the Wobbies never picked up because he wants to murderize the turdburglars who are fucking up Detroit at current.ayep best quest 2014 right here
>>35531389>So we're basically Adam Jensen>In teh UrbanmehDo we get augmented to drive Fafnir after the horrible accident?
You pound away at the sensor column for a bit, venting your rage on Bitchin' Betty. “Sensors error,” you say. “Fuckin' I got a FIST WRENCH.” With a few more punches, the column beeps. “Magscan sensors nominal.”“Whoo!” you shout, in jubilation. “I am the KING!” And then you flip the magscan sensors on. Your view turns from a dark, rainy night in a shithole city to a dark, rainy night in a shithole city with a bright orange overlay as though it was drawn on by Michael J. Fox.They did tell you in training that magscan sensors were pretty goddamn useless in cities. Maybe the computer will pick up 'Mech outlines. Maybe.Time's a wasting. So you punch it....As much as an Urbie can punch it, anyway. You push the throttle all the way forward. Your 'Mech trundles forward at an ungainly trot. You look down at the speedo. 32 km/h.THIRTY-TWO KILOMETERS AN HOUR?!Fuck.Just... goddamnit. Fuck, shit fuck. Goddamnit. You wish you had a Firestarter or something like that. You push at the throttle harder, but it's already at its forwardmost travel.Fuck. This thing is so goddamn slow.> Trundle your ass straight to the park. Subtlety be damned! Gotta go fast. Well. As fast as an Urbie can, that is.> Do a bit of recon around the park. Being ambushed would suck.Also, roll me a d100.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>35531697
>>35531697>trundle urbie trundlenot like we can recon anyway
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>35531697>>35531751Forgot dice
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>35531697>Trundle your ass straight to the park. Subtlety be damned! Gotta go fast. Well. As fast as an Urbie can, that is.Recon work in a 'mech that is slower than most 'mechs that are notoriously bad at recon is probably not the best option here. We should try to not to be seen as much as possible, but we need to get there as fast as we can.
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>35531697>>35531795Forgot that we were rolling 1d100, not 1d20.
>>35531697Are we going downhill? Might as well roll, that woud be faster. Otherwise:>Gotta go fast
>>35531795Usually, you do recon so that when you find the enemy, they're not ten feet away with a gun made of rape shoved in your face.In this case, we're slow, and our rape-gun is the biggest on the planet.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>35531697> Trundle your ass straight to the park. Subtlety be damned! Gotta go fast. Well. As fast as an Urbie can, that is.Ambushers get the AC treatment.
>>35531831Not to mention that our rape-gun requires people to be about ten feet in front of us to work properly.
You chug through the city at the fastest speed you can, ignoring the civilians that scatter in front of you....They could probably outrun you on foot if they tried. But you don't care. You have an AC/20, and you're not taking shit from anyone, least of all civilians. You consider blowing through some buildings to make your trip faster.While this plan would be supported wholeheartedly by the city planner of Flint in the name of 'urban renewal', you've only got one ton of ammo for the AC/20 and 30 tons isn't quite enough to reliably do a Kool-Aid man impression. You do try to avoid stepping on a car accident you pass as you go by- they've got enough shit to deal with. You do this by stomping on the pedals for the jump jets- and you flip the old Cadillac with just your jump jet wash.Yeah. Good day to come back to the old neighborhood.Your radio comes to life again. It's your operator. Shit, you can't remember her name. Was it important? Probably not. She's kind of a bitch. “You there yet?”“Let's see. I'm in an Urbanmech. What do you think?” You don't pause to give her a chance to answer. “I ain't there yet, dumbass!”She ignores your statement. “Looks like the local five-o has gotten wind of your arrival. They'll probably pass that up the chain to the Liao command.”“Great. So now I'm on a time limit.”“Yep. And, don't forget, the cops too.”You snort. “Oh, yeah, because their handguns and STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAW are totally going to stop me.”“Hey, the Feds distributed free light military vehicles to the police. Records show the Flint PD got themselves an Plainsmaster.”“The fuck's that?”“Scout tank. Got itself a Large Laser.”Okay, that's actually a surprising amount of firepower for a local PD.As that thought runs through your mind, you round the bend to the park.
>>35532248Directly between you and the park, only 50 meters away or so, is the Plainsmaster. Or so you assume, given that a hovertank with what appears to be a Large Laser is sitting there.Well, shit. There goes subtle.>AC/20 BEATS TANK. TANK GO BOOM.>THEY CALL ME SUPER MARIO AND THIS SHIT LOOKS LIKE A GOOMBA (DFA attack, yo)>Write-inFor option #1, we'll be firing both the AC/20 and the Small Laser, because why not. 50 meters is approximately 2 hexes, so that's in the short range bracket (+0 to hit) for the AC/20 and the medium range bracket (+2 to hit) for the Small Laser. It didn't move. You were running.So we're looking at a 4 (your gunnery skill) +0 (range) + 2 (attacker ran) for the AC/20, and a 4 + 2 + 2 for the Small Laser.It needs a 6 (its gunnery skill) + 0 (range) + 1 (defender moved 3-4 hexes) 7 to hit with its Large Laser. It will also require +1 for a jumping target if you decide to DFA the tank.Roll me a bunch of 2d6s, I'll use them in this order:To-Hit on AC/20, Small Laser, Large LaserHit Locations (if applicable) AC/20, Small Laser, Large LaserOther assorted rolls (crits, PSRs, et cetera)For Option #2, we'll be using the rolls for the tank first, and then for the PSRs for the DFA. You'll need to pass at least one 10+, two if it hits you with its laser.
>>35532274Correction: 5+ to hit on the DFA, 9+ to not fall on your ass after the attack.
Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6)>>35532274>AC/20 BEATS TANK. TANK GO BOOM.rollan
Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6)>>35532274AC/20 BEATS TANK. TANK GO BOOM.
Rolled 19, 20 = 39 (2d20)>>35532274>AC/20 BEATS TANK. TANK GO BOOM.that tank can probably dodge us if we tried a DFA.
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d6)>>35532274As tempting as a DFA is, attempting to stand in an walking trashcan with turrets for arms sounds like an awful prospect. Not to mention that falling on our ass will probably compromise the Urbie's already thin armor.>AC/20 BEATS TANK. TANK GO BOOM.>Also fire small laser for good measure.
I also totally forgot to post the sheet for the Urbie and for the Plainsmaster.Urbie: http://i.imgur.com/LZU91nv.png?1Plainsmaster: http://i.imgur.com/0dPK8Av.png?1
Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d6)>>35532351Aww shit. Damned sensor bashing.Rerolling. Take whatever you want.
Gonna need a few more rolls. If you've already rolled, don't feel like you can't roll again.
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d6)>>35532274Dice for the dice gods
Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6)>>35532274>>35532517
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)>>35532274more dice I guess this is my 3rd roll
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)And I think I need one more and we're good. So I'll roll it.
Wait, no. Precisely one more.I don't want to roll this one because it will be hilarious.
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)>>35532706
>>35532720>Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)Oh, christ, you've fucked us.Roll 2d6 twice.
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)>>35532741
Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d6)>>35532741BLAM! HEADSHOT!
>>35532771I was wrong, I only needed one 2d6. But still.
>>35532557>>35532720You two fucked us SPECTACULARLY. I love you.AC/20: Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6) Hits for 20 damage!Small Laser: Rolled 5, 6 = 11 (2d6) Hits for 3 damage!Large Laser: Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d6) Hits for 8 damage!Hit Locations: AC/20: Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d6) Hits front! Plainsmaster destroyed!Small Laser: Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d6) Hits front!Large Laser: Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6) Hits Head! 6 points armor damage, two points internal damage! One point internal structure remaining!Crit location for AC/20: Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6) Weapon (Large Laser) malfunctions!Crit location for Small Laser: Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6) Stabilizer hit!Crit location for Large Laser: Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6) Roll twice!Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6) Life support hit! Sensors hit!
>>35532893>the urbie is already on its last legsTop keks.
>>35532771Actually, I DID need that 2d6! Needed to roll for consciousness, which a 6 makes.
You've done quite a bit of training with autocannons, getting used to their recoil and flight profile. An AC/2, on a light mech? Recoil's near nonexistent. An AC/5? You feel it, but it doesn't affect your aim. An AC/10? Okay, best shoot that one last, because anything after it's probably going to miss.You've only shot AC/20s on mechs 70 tons and heavier. The whole torso twisted on those.This is an AC/20, a 203mm cannon, shot from a 30 ton Urbanmech. The whole thing careens wildly after the shot. But it's all entirely worth it- the 203 mm shell plows through the front of the Plainsmaster, crumpling plating and crewmembers in its wake. The Large Laser gets creamed by the shell, knocking it out of its mount. Which is kind of a moot point, because 1: it's fired already, and 2: any crew that was servicing it now resembles tomato paste.The shell travels its full length through the Plainsmaster, and exits the other side. It explodes spectacularly.You, however, are preoccupied. Remember when the laser fired? I'm sure you do. Because it nailed you right in the face. That coherent light beam slagged all the armor off the head of the Urbie, and turned it from a cockpit to a convertible.…And it fucked the sensors again. God DAMN it. With the hit to the life support, and more importantly, the removal of the upper 20% of the cockpit, there's no way you're going to be able to submerge this 'Mech again. Which raises some serious problems for your extraction.You'll drive off that bridge when you get there, you suppose. And then you'll do something about these gnarly second-degree burns you got from the laser.> Charge into the park. Your cover's blown, your 'Mech is fucked, and you need to get the hell out of Dodge. With the Doctor.> Inform your operator of your 'Mech's new convertible upgrade. You're going to need alternate extraction methods.> Write-in.
(Sensor damage adds a +2 to your to-hit modifiers in subsequent combat rounds. Life support system damage means you drown when you submerge your 'Mech in water now.)>>35532936Not dead yet! You just came so incredibly close to death. Besides, what's the chance you'll take another headshot? (7% or so.)
>>35533114> Inform your operator of your 'Mech's new convertible upgrade. You're going to need alternate extraction methods.
>>35533114>inform your operator of what happened>then proceed on mission while they cuss you out.
>>35533114>> Inform your operator of your 'Mech's new convertible upgrade. You're going to need alternate extraction methods.
>>35533114>Inform your operatorthen>Continue the mission and hope that black science gets you through
>>35533114>Charge into the park. Your cover's blown, your 'Mech is fucked, and you need to get the hell out of Dodge. With the Doctor.
>>35533114>Inform your operator of your 'Mech's new convertible upgrade. You're going to need alternate extraction methods.In all honesty, we shouldn't have expected any less when piloting an urbie. Although piloting a Firestarter in a crowded civilian metropolis probably would've garnered a stronger response.
>>35533266The thing is, if there's going to be any mech at the end, we're done for. Hell, even an ordinary sniper can instakill us.
>>35533344Or a potentially lucky and pissed-off farmer with a shotgun.
>>35533363>pissed-off farmer with a shotgunGood thing we're in the city then.
Really, the best thing we could do now is set the Urbie's autopilot to walk that-a-way. Usually a mech on autopilot is easy to spot because they move fucking slow and awkwardly, but.. its an Urbie. Nobody will know the difference. Set the Stackpole timer for extra giggles.Once we've got it set, we disembark and just walk away like nothing fucking happened. Inevitably someone will stop us, shine a light in our eyes, and ask us what the fuck we're doing walking around with second degree burns during a mech attack like its just another day.That's when we look at them and say "First day on Detroit, huh?"
It's just hope we have a backup pistol in case of farmer with shotgun.
>>35533475What about the part where Andre is essentially wearing a speedo/shorts and a cooling vest since his employers probably didn't give him a tacticool (and expensive) MechWarrior jumpsuit?
>>35533540Its a factory planet. He pilots a workmech.No, he didn't work tonight. Or all last week. But the cooling vest is heavy and more than capable of stopping a shiv, and that's what...... wow, you really ARE new to Detroit, aren't you?
>>35533523Andre is a black man. On Detroit. Do the math.>>35533540see >>35533593
You key the radio. It fizzles on you. Your sensors also take this opportunity to pack up entirely. Bad news: You're relying on purely visual acquisition now. Good news: With the convertible upgrade to your 'Mech, you can see the surrounding area that much clearer!You punch the sensor column yet again. This causes the radio to actually work.“Go for HQ, Andre.”“So, you know that show Pimp My Ride?”“Andre...”“No, no, wait. Stick with me here. You know how sometimes they take an old beater shitpile of a car, and turn it into a shiny new convertible? I took this old beater shitpile of a 'Mech, and turned it into an old beater shitpile convertible!”“You... what?”“Got shot in the face with a Large Laser. The cockpit is now an open-air design. Kiiiiiiiinda not going to be able to extract in the planned way. Honestly, I'm surprised I'm not dead. These burns are going to hurt like a bitch once the adrenaline rush stops.”“Are- are you kidding me? You're wasting time talking to me about this when the entire local network is lighting up like a christmas tree? Get to the goddamn meetup already, Andre!”“Fine, mother. I'll get your precious Doctor.” And with that, you push the throttle forward again, and lumber into the park.Where people are screaming and running around like it's the end of days. “Come on, people, it's Flint. Just because four or five people got murdered is no reason to freak out,” you say.What a bunch of pansies. Now where's the Doctor?> Honk the horn and flash the lights.> Get out and look.> Write-in.
>>35533774> Honk the horn and flash the lights.Never leave a vehicle alone in Detroit, you will never see it again.
>>35533774> Honk the horn and flash the lights. (fire the ac/20)
>>35533774I'm kinda thinking that we might want to do this: >>35533475But unless HQ can secure us another avenue of extraction, that's only really kicking the can down the road.
>>35533774> Honk the horn and flash the lights.Do we even have a horn? We'd better just call him. Do we have a megaphone?
>>35533774>Where people are screaming and running around like it's the end of days. “Come on, people, it's Flint. Just because four or five people got murdered is no reason to freak out,” you say.>MFW the cities on Detroit are actually named after Michigan cities>MFW he's absolutely right about Flint>>35533843>Never leave a vehicle alone in Detroit, you will never see it again.>MFW the Liao troops pull over the Urbie to find twelve gangbangers crammed into the cockpit flashing gangsta signs while we exfil
>>35533910>HQ>secure us a vehicleWe're a black man.In Flint.On a planet called Detroit.With a gun.DO I NEED TO PAINT YOU A FUCKING PICTURE
>>35533865>>35533774Are we the only mech on this op? If so, then we can't play decoy.I think a "Yo, Doc, this op got bungled, hurry up and get in!" over the external loudspeaker- if we have one is most appropos
>>35533995Most mechs have one.Most mechs also mount it on the head.
>>35533995>WHERE'S THE VAN>THE VAN WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE>roll up in an Urbanmech that's smoking and has the top of the cockpit blown clean off, honking the horn and flashing the lights as we wave from the jagged opening>COME ON MAN WE GOTTA GO >FUCK, ITS THE FUZZ, CHEESE ITI am rolling on the fucking floor laughing holy fuck this quest
>>35533774>>35534027I figured... Best bet is to use the urbie as a decoy and exfil on foot then, all in favor?Mind you, we need to find the Doc first and then reassure him by tossing away the biggest weapon in the city>>35534038It's one of those games.
Nobody running towards the 'Mech. Which means there's probably no Doctor running towards your mech. You punch the button for the external loudspeaker.It crackles and you shout into the microphone. Nothing happens. That laser probably slagged the entire loudspeaker assembly. But Momma always said you were the loudest boy she knew. And you can put your pipes to work.“HEY DOCTOR! TIME TO FUCKIN' GO!”Nobody starts running, so you start shooting the Small Laser in the air. The AC/20 would definitely make a loud enough noise for everybody to hear, but they probably heard the first one. And you've only got four more shots of it. So the dark purple laser light show will have to do.A man starts running towards your 'Mech, and grabs onto one of the rungs and starts climbing up.Then your radio buzzes again. It's your operator. What was her name, Jean-Marie or something? Fuckin' French people. “Hey, so, you're going to be wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible.”“Why, a lance coming to kick my shit in?”“No. You remember the anomalous event our satellites recorded about ten days ago?”“Pfft, no. You know I don't pay attention in intel briefs.”“So, then, let me ask you a question. How far is Detroit from the system's jump point?”Oh, shit. “Almost ten days.”“Yep. Our satellite just got nailed by what seems to be Naval PPC fire. You have got to fuckin' go.”Aw, fuck.> Wave the Doctor back down. You're leaving this fucking thing and running on foot.> Wave the Doctor back down. You're leaving this thing, stealing a car, and getting the fuck out of town.> Bring the Doctor up. The Urbie might be slow, but you've got jump jets! Which means that streets and roads are mere suggestions to you! And you are entirely unopposed to a bit of urban renewal via kool-aid!
>>35534227>> Wave the Doctor back down. You're leaving this thing, stealing a car, and getting the fuck out of town.Car's probably faster
>>35534227> Wave the Doctor back down. You're leaving this thing, stealing a car, and getting the fuck out of town.
>>35534227>Wave the Doctor back down. You're leaving this thing, stealing a car, and getting the fuck out of town.
>>35534227> Bring the Doctor up. The Urbie might be slow, but you've got jump jets! Which means that streets and roads are mere suggestions to you! And you are entirely unopposed to a bit of urban renewal via kool-aid!
>>35534227> Bring the Doctor up. The Urbie might be slow, but you've got jump jets! Which means that streets and roads are mere suggestions to you! And you are entirely unopposed to a bit of urban renewal via kool-aid!this isn't titan fall, we don't leave our mechs.
>>35534227> Bring the Doctor up. The Urbie might be slow, but you've got jump jets! Which means that streets and roads are mere suggestions to you! And you are entirely unopposed to a bit of urban renewal via kool-aid!jump nigga
>>35534227> Bring the Doctor up.There's plenty of place inside.
>>35534227>“Yep. Our satellite just got nailed by what seems to be Naval PPC fire. You have got to fuckin' go.”DITCH.THE. MECH.Our jump jets move us three hexes at a time.And we just confirmed that these fuckers have eyes in orbit, now. We're in a machine that moves 32km/h and the enemy is about to have real-time data on our location.GRAND. THEFT. AUTO.
>>35534227Doctor comes up, at least we still have some sort of cover from small arms and the only PD Plainsmaster just got slagged and we can always abandon the thing later... probably
>>35534343Two hexes, actually.The -60L Urbanmech is a 2/3/2.
>>35534330that's beautiful anonI'd totally suck your dick, no homo
Oh also, roll me a 2d6 while you're at it.
Rolled 4, 3 = 7 (2d6)>>35534393
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d6)>>35534393Headshot!
Rolled 1, 1 = 2 (2d6)>>35534393
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d6)>>35534393
>>35534407>>35534405well, that isn't ominous
>>35534426I love you.
Rolled 2, 1 = 3 (2d6)>>35534393
>>35534343>The Light Naval Particle Projector Cannon is designed to inflict a massive amount of energy and thermal damage to enemy WarShips. As it is so massive, the system has difficulty targeting enemy craft smaller than 500 tons.Oh, come on, we'll be fine! If we're not going to swim in this thing.
>>35534460exactly why I still vote for hanging onto the urbie for cover and a high vantage point
Looks like staying in the Urbie won. Time to crack open my StratOps book!
>>35534460I'm more worried about the vertible fucking swarm of light mechs/tanks the enemy probably has converging on our location right now. Our chances of evading them in a fucking Urbie were already slim to none, but when you've got a Warship on the enemy tac-net with some asshole glued to their telescope, feeding everyone real-time telemetry on your location down to the square meter? Yeah.>>35534513>Time to crack open my StratOps book!... see, I was thinking to myself, orbital bombardment of a civilian population center for one chucklefuck in an Urbie? Naw.But I forgot.It's *Flint.*
>>35534513Do naval weapon impacts cause large city-and-mech-killing explosions?Oh, wait we have a covert asset on board and we're in Flint, of course they don't care about collateral.I hope you're just messing with us
>>35534562>>35534563>>35534582>>35534513Detroit Quest: the pic related the movie.
>>35534563>Do naval weapon impacts cause large city-and-mech-killing explosions?Yes
We should have chosen that Raven.
>>35534626>>35534614>>35534582>>35534563>>35534562>>35534513And we forgot to recall that there's WOBbies here.Welp, Urban Renewal, Here. We. Come!
>>35534687>Not shopping actual BT art
“HURRY YOUR ASS UP, DOCTOR!”The Doctor... well, probably the Doctor, climbs up your Urbanmech to the head. Normally, at this point, you'd have to open a hatch to admit him in. Of course, that's kind of unnecessary at the moment. He clambers in. Another black man, but this guy looks pale. He doesn't seem like he's enjoying the extraction method you've taken.You grin wildly at him. “Welcome to Mr. Bones' Wild Ride, Doctor! Now what the fuck do you know that would make Liao willing to bombard a population center from orbit?”He looks sick. “I, uh. Jeez. Wow. Really?”“Yep! Now let's fuckin' GO!” And you floor it.And it's still an UrbanMech.The Doctor looks at you. “This is as fast as it goes?”You frown at him. “What did you expect?”He shrugs. “I don't know, something fast, for, you know, an exfiltration?”You laugh crazily. “Look, man, we've got more problems than you know. Shut up and hold the fuck on.” And you run and trundle and jump across Flint, scattering cop cars in your mad dash to the port.Jean-Marie pipes up. “We're going to have to surface the sub so you can board it without drowning. You'll have to be fast.”You're about a click from the port, and you can hear the sound of aircraft above you. Fuck me, those are probably fighters looking for you.I require: 8 2d6 rolls!The magic numbers are 8+ and 10+!
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6)>>35534717ALRIGHT, HERE WE GO.
Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6)>>35534717all 1's
Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6)>>35534717we ded
Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d6)>>35534717This is a thread that is starring into the abyss of its own end and calmly chuckling about it.
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6)>>35534717Here goes everything
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d6)>>35534717
Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d6)>>35534717Everything second iteration
In case you were wondering what you were getting shot at by:http://i.imgur.com/wEX2zdh.png?1I love AC/20s. Does it show?
Rolled 6, 6 = 12 (2d6)>>35534717
>>35534746Damn shame, I want to keep going and see what happens.
>>35534738>>35534741>>35534745>>35534746>>35534751>>35534775>>35534779>>35534802Are we dead or not. I've never played mechwarrior so I got no clue.
>>35534786Yes it shows just a little, gonna do the last roll since we've done seven or are you going to wait?
>>35534802Thank you, anon. Thank you.>tfw not rolling because of the fear to botch it and because don't know where to put those numbers now that e-mail field is gone.
>>35534827I'm assuming we read it like this>>35534738CapCom this is Dachshund 3, we have visual on the Rat in the TrachCan fleeing down east and third->>35534741>>35534745CapCom, Dachshund-3, lost visual on TrashCan, circling to reaquire...>>35534746CapCom, Dachshund-2, TrashCan spotted port street and third->>35534751>>35534751Shit! How does an Urbanmech hide like that? CapCom Dachshund Flight Lead, reacquiring, standby.>>35534775>>35534779Target Lock, Target Lock, let's get this fucker before->>35534802...they jump into a submarine in the middle of a bay...
>>35534831Eh, I've got enough. Writan it now.
>>35534847Hey man, don't worry about it, I was worried about fucking up the rolls myself.Somehow I didn't. If you do, shit happens, yo.
>>35534849if he does anything like this my sides will fall apart faster than the clans did in the war of reaving.
AC/20: Needs 8 to hit, Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d6) Miss!Medium Laser: Needs 10 to hit, Rolled 6, 5 = 11 (2d6) Hit! Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6) Left torso (Rear)! 5 damage, 3 absorbed by armor, 2 internal structure damage! 5 Internal Structure remaining! Rolled 2! Critical hit on Heat Sink!Medium Laser: Needs 10 to hit, Rolled 6, 3 = 9 (2d6) Miss!Medium Laser: Needs 10 to hit, Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d6) Miss!Medium Laser (Rear): Needs 12 to hit, Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d6) Miss!
>>35534925Those were to hit us......... I hope that 12 was us jumpjetting to safety or we a deader than dead.
>>35534925Aaah, you bait-and-switch motherfucker! You gave me hope and then replaced it with leaky heatsinks!
>>35534977Not like the Urbanmech even needs heat sinks.Besides, it always has the spare
>>35534958Nah, I just asked for eight because four weapons, four hit locations was what I expected. And they missed, so I didn't need the rolls for the to-hit for most. So I used one of them for the crit rolls.>>35534977Shit, the Urbie's oversinked by 3. You didn't even need that heat sink anyway.
>>35530277Jesus fucking christ, this entire fucking thread
>>35534977We're escaping, so we're not going to shoot anything, are we? Are we?..
>>35535011Metaphorical, thank god Mechs have the durability of a solid ton-weight brick of lead
“Dachshund Lead, this is Dachshund 3. I've got visual on the fleeing Urbanmech.”“Roger that, Dachshund 3. Give him a strafe for us, take the fucker out.”“My pleasure.”The Lightning is a true terror of 'Mechwarriors everywhere: the large-bore rapid-fire 105mm cannon in the front can shred even the toughest of armor with ease. The downside to this, of course, is the 105's immense kick- firing it first nearly guarantees a miss on any subsequent weapons fire, like the Medium Lasers.Dachshund 3 is not a very smart pilot. He fired the AC/20 first.You see the road in front of you get chewed up by rapid impacts of heavy armor-piercing shells. Making it even more the typical Michigan road. You know that MDOT won't be around to fix these anytime soon.You lean out of the hole in your cockpit, to flip the pilot the bird. “YOUR AIM IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD,” you shout. Then the lasers fire crazily, the Lightning still trying to adjust for the recoil of the AC/20, and one manages to scrape the back of your 'Mech by sheer dumb luck. It punches through the armor, and slags one of your heatsinks.Man, it's a good thing it hit the left torso. You don't even want to think of the AC/20 ammo in the right torso going up in an ammo explosion. The ejection system probably doesn't even work on this thing anymore.As the plane flies past, it tries one more shot with its rear-mounted medium laser. This misses you. This misses the ground entirely. The pilot is such a fuckup, he managed to miss the entire planet. Congratulations, House Liao. Got the cream of the crop right here.“We're surfacing!” Jean-Marie yells. You can see the port in front of you. Safety lies just under the water. The submarine is just over 150 meters away.“Hey Doc,” you say. “how good are you at holding your breath?”Roll me, in this order, 2d6, 1d6, 2d6. I need three sets of these.
>>35535046Well, I took the liberty of calculating the to-hits for your weapons against the Lightning. With the sensor damage, and the fact that precisely zero of your weapons are anti-air, your to-hits were 14 and 15, respectively.
Rolled 3, 6 = 9 (2d6)>>35535158here's the first
Rolled 5, 2 = 7 (2d6)>>35535158
Rolled 2, 6, 4, 6, 1 = 19 (5d6)>>35535158Here
Rolled 3, 6 + 1 = 10 (2d6 + 1)>>35535174still, aren't twelves auto-hits?>>35535158rolling liek this?
>>35535032Holy mother of god. Somebody saved that?I drew that for a RWBY thread like a year ago.If one can call such chickenscratch a drawing, but still.
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>35535158
Rolled 1, 1, 1, 3, 6 = 12 (5d6)>>35535158rollan
Rolled 1, 4, 5, 2, 6 = 18 (5d6)>>35535197okay, so 2d6+1d6+2d6 doesn't work
>>35535207>1, 1, 1U WOT M8?
>>35535197They are not. There are actual impossible shots in Battletech, those with a to-hit of 13 or above.
Rolled 6, 2, 2, 6, 2 = 18 (5d6)>>35535158I'm just going to roll 5d6 for simplicity's sake.
>>35535197>still, aren't twelves auto-hits?Nope.2s are sometimes autofails (not to-hit rolls, but other ones like maintenance can), but there are some shots that are just impossible.
>>35535207ew, I don't even know if high or low the what we want anymore- this is awesome>>35535227Ah, I don't ever have achance to play and reading the rules over and over until the whole thing is memorized is a thing only children have the capacity to enjoy
So today I have learned the limitations of /tg/'s dice rolling system! I'm just going to pluck the dice from the rolls, in order, disregarding what posts they were in. Time for Dorf-Fort style fun!
>>35535198Dude. That thread was fun as all hell. Besides, this entire quest has been fucking loony, so the image is kind of a good fit. Really, I meant to use a different image, but whatever.
>>35535282>Time for Dorf-Fort style fun!No, dad! No! Is doctor gonna be okay? Did we do it?
>>35535315Well, I can tell you this right now: the Doctor will, in fact, be okay.
>>35535372what about us? Will we see our daughter again?
>>35535372ok will we in fact be ok?
>>35535372We're going to have a good, !!fun!! time of it.
>>35535372Well, if at least one black man in the cast survives I call it a definite success.
WarShip fires Medium NPPC- Needs 10 to hit! Rolled 3, 6 = 9 (2d6) Misses (5) Southwest two hexes! Hits empty water! Does 20 damage to submarine!WarShip fires Medium NPPC- Needs 10 to hit! Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d6) Misses (4) South six hexes! Hits empty water!WarShip fires Medium NPPC- Needs 10 to hit! Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6) Hits! Does 90 damage to submarine! Submarine destroyed!
>>35535397>spontaneous background developed to plead for favorable results with the GMI like it.
>>35535432>WarShip fires Medium NPPC- Needs 10 to hit! Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d6) Hits! Does 90 damage to submarine! Submarine destroyed!>Submarine destroyed!
>>35535432>Submarine destroyed!I'd be crying if I wasn't laughing so hard.
>>35535432Oh shit... our porn was on that sub.
>>35535432Fuck it, fire the AC20 at the Lightning, then the Warship, then Flint, then Terra.
>>35535397>our daughter>not our entire big black family that we have to feed>if we die they will starve>we must survive>please?..
>>35535446not spontaneous, we have(had?) a picture of her in the in the cockpit.>>35535432>Submarine destroyed!FUCK
>>35535464Well, we are boned so hard, Jump into the water and bail.
>>35535514I only know that we have a daughter.
>>35535515Oh, yeah the japanese girl we adopted after saving her from that marauding Clan Snow Crab mech
>>35535479NO! All of my precious tile patterns!
Shit please tell me Jean-Marie, our sexy french Operator got to an escape pod!
>>35535545>Not saving her from a monster on New Kyoto
>>35535432And so begins the Saga of Andre and the mysterious doctor, starring in:ESCAPE FROM DETROIT
>>35535518>>35535515>>35535514>>35535500>>35535495>>35535480>>35535479>>35535477>>35535464>>35535455>>35535451Why are we all so Worried, don't you remember /tg/?>>35530277>You're Andre Meilleur, and you have a sinking feeling that this story isn't actually about you.
>>35535581three plasma explosions just rocked her world within ten seconds of each other, nobody on that boat even had a chance
Like a fat man going to a buffet, the Urbanmech waddles as fast as it can to the surfaced submarine. And, like every fat man going to a buffet, he gets beaten there by the Chinese. Uh, House Liao. Right.The sky splits and blue lightning rains down from the sky. The first bolt hits near the submarine, and you can see the charge dance across its hull. It's okay, you think. It's just a little ionized. It's still good. It's still good.The second bolt misses the submarine by a goddamn mile- but it doesn't miss everything. It nails that Lightning fighter that strafed you. Good. That fucker couldn't shoot for shit.The third and final bolt is, unfortunately on the money. It's okay, you think. It's just a little exploded. It's still good. It's... gone. Aw, shit. You hear the slightest moment of a scream over the radio, and then silence.Both you and the Doctor sit there, in slack-jawed horror, as your method of escape is annihilated from orbit. Liao got WarShips here. Shit got real serious, real fast.You turn to the Doctor.>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GOTTA HIDE>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GONNA DIE>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
>>35535595Oh we know, we're just in character.
>>35535607>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GONNA DIE>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GOTTA HIDE
>>35535607>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
>>35535620In this order.
>>35535611>>35535607Oh then the Choice is obvious. All Three.>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GOTTA HIDE>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GONNA DIE>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
>>35535607THE FUCK OUT THIS BITCH NIGGA! RUN !
>>35535607>broadcast on all channels"Alright, we're fucked and my porn stash is ruined, I'm just gonna stand real still and let you kill me now." cover the mic and talk to the Doc, "you might wanna run... or stay and get ionized... I don't know which is best"
>>35535655and under our breath, holding the charred remains of our daughter's photo, "Mako... Aishiteru"
>>35535607"Oh... shit... hey, doc... we should probably... run- or something..."
“GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH OR WE'RE GONNA DIE!” you shout.The Doctor takes the hint and launches himself out of the hole in the 'Mech's head. You grab your picture of your daughter, and take off the neurohelmet and cooling jacket. You do NOT want to be identified as the Mechwarrior.Goddamn shame about the sub and Jean-Marie, but them's the breaks. You'll grieve when you're not in imminent mortal danger. Besides, your porn stash is fine, it's back on the Wyrm. This was just a deployment submarine.You get down to the foot of the 'Mech, and push the Doctor forward into an alleyway, out of the possible path of more NPPC shots. But no more come, and the Lightning fighters start to circle the area. You can hear the local police starting to roll on up to the area.But you've got plenty of experience running from the cops, so they won't catch you.Now, the question is, how the fuck do you escape from this shithole city on this shithole planet in this shithole area of the Inner Sphere?I need three things from you:>NAME YOUR DAUGHTERU>SELECT THE CHARACTER FOR THE NEXT RUN OF THE QUEST: ANDRE OR HIS DAUGHTERU>AND ROLL ME A COUPLE D6 FOR GIGGLES
Rolled 4, 5, 2, 2, 3, 4 = 20 (6d6)>>35535841>Lequanza>Lequanza
>>35535607>GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE MECH, WE GOTTA HIDE AND FIND JEAN-MARIE
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>35535841>Sasha>Andre
>>35535841Pippins, she's some kind of Irish, you think.rolling d2, 1 Andre, 2, Pippy
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>35535895fucking dice
Rolled 6, 4, 2, 1, 4, 1, 3, 2, 4, 2 = 29 (10d6)>>35535841>Kelly>Andre
Rolled 2, 2, 3, 3, 2 = 12 (5d6)>>35535841>MotokoMight as well go that route.>AndreNo "fun" for the daughter, we must protect her, not the other way around.
>>35535841Goddamn. This was a fucking Shadowfuckup of a quest.I love it.
Rolled 3, 5, 6, 1, 4, 4 = 23 (6d6)>>35535841>Latisha>Andre
So I took the first roll from the first three posts that rolled. And got this for the falling roll I was going to do.Urbanmech UM-R60L falls on its back (4)! 3 damage done to hit location 6,6 (12) Head! Head destroyed! Urbanmech UM-R60L destroyed!
>>35535841>>35535919Fuck it changing my vote for our daughter's name from kelly to Motoko.
Rolled 4, 2, 2, 4, 4, 6 = 22 (6d6)>>35535841I'll second "Motoko". Or at least as a middle name or something.Let's switch to the daughter for a change in pace.
The Urbanmech topples over, from its battle damage and the residual shockwave of the NPPCs cutting through the atmosphere. It falls backwards, slowly, slowly at first, and then faster, until it spears its head, where the cockpit was, upon a light post.The Urbanmech is dead. Long live the Urbanmech.You look at the picture of your daughter Motoko, who's been training to be a Mechwarrior for the resistance forces aboard the Wyrm.God, you hope they don't send her as the rescue party.
>>35535950This is Battletech, though. It's much safer in the 12-meter-tall avatars of war than anywhere else on the battlefield.
>>35536083Goodnight, sweet thrashcan.
Anyway, thank you for tuning in for the first thread of Detroit Quest: Urbanmechs On Ice!I'm shocked at how much /tg/ liked this, so you'll see it again next week, or maybe this weekend if I'm lucky.And I'll tally up the votes for who's the main character next thread when I start the next thread.
>>35536157Give us a twitter to follow you chucklefuck
>>35536185You motherfucker I was just posting that
>>35536157Give us a Twitter for Andre and his adopted Draconis Combine daughteru Motoko.
>>35536157giant stompy robots are just about the only thing that can avoid a quest with waifus because managing your giant stompy robot take about as much work as managing a harem of waifus; hence, I enjoy giant stompy robots.
>>35536179Suggest to me a twitter handle thingy and I just might
Also, if you haven't seen MECHS ON ICE, you should.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIJ6XULtQHI
>>35536214I say Rabbit9 because of your trip. Oh or how about Jean-marrie after our late operator and that kind of fits because that's kind of what you are to us.
>>35536278A slightly bitchy underwater corpse?
>>35536278Rabbit9, secondingOP, what's the first rule of QMing?
>>35536326Do not talk about the quest?
>>35536326Hate your life?
>>35536326Always include at least four potential waifus?
>>35536326I have no goddamn idea.Also, lookit dis http://i.imgur.com/RHGXMwv.png?1Gonna take me a bit to set up a twitter, but I think I'm going to go with @BV_470, because read the posted comic/watch the video just above.
>>35536333That's the second rule.>>35536344Wrong.>>35536365You're supposed to be doing that by default.>>35536376Fuck you.The first rule is: don't wear your trip outside of the quest thread.Corollary: never, ever (ever), admit your presence on the QTGThis is damn good quest and I'd rather not those fuckheads in qtg come here to fag it up.
>>35536383your link don't work
>>35536404Oh. Duh. That's just general good practice on imageboards in general, yo.>>35536432tl;dr is twitter is denying me a signup
>>35536404>Corollary: never, ever (ever), admit your presence on the QTGIt's easier to just not even post in the thread at all. And it leads to a much saner, healthier life.
There, @BV_470 is made and is my twitter for this quest.
>>35536446Ugh, don't tell me, I know, qtg had a few psarse good constructive moments, now it's just this terrible thing that won't dieI might be embittered because I totally suck at making quests anywhere near successful, even a shitty waifu-romp
>>35536278>>35536326I actually use Rabbit9 as something else for a different site, fuckin' touhou stories mang
>>35536606>Touhou >BattletechThis is a surprisingly common combination, in my experience.I have no fuckin' clue why.
>>35537038I know why.It's fuckin' planefag's fault. No, really.
>>35537184Okay, Master Rabbit, you're on storytiem duty.