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This isn't something you'll just let stand.

This stupid mural is begging, just begging for a moustache.

First, though....

You step easily over the tantrum-induced book piles, stopping before the mural-

Huh. It's not even a picture, really. Just painted straight over the wall. You walk it's length, knuckles rapping against the stone. Nothing hollow. You shrug, and turn back to Sara.

"Could I borrow your pen a moment?"
She gives you an odd look, but hands you the pen anyway.

It's a bit on the odd side. A bulbous inkwell, slowly trickling over its surface. Probably magic? It doesn't really matter. In seconds, you find yourself humming pleasantly, the flowing ink curling over each face. Moustaches for everyone.

Your friends and family giggle behind your back before they step forward- each taking a turn with the pen, facial hair of every kind plastered across the mural.

Much better.

>Check the books for info- Maybe there's something?
>Straight to the next room. You don't care about some braggarts memoirs.
>Other (?)
>>
>>35588124
Announcements: twitter.com/REQMX

Q&A: ask.fm/REQM

Character Sheet and Misc:
http://pastebin.com/u/REQM

Archive:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Re-Monster
or
http://archive.moe/tg/search/tripcode/!!7fb3j+Ac+pZ%20/type/op/
or
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rD-MZe51wYI63xxl-tG8dsxj-RWVtJu3S6Gzd6OTJSw/edit?usp=sharing
>>
>>35588124
>Check the books for info- Maybe there's something?
MUST.KNOW.EVERYTHING.
>>
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Also, maps.
>>
>>35588124
>>Straight to the next room. You don't care about some braggarts memoirs.
Fuck this place, not even any money.

Super mad
>>
>>35588124

"Maybe we can find some use for the books, yes? They would make for good fire fuel... maybe something to sell to foolish merchants?"
>>
>>35588124
>>Straight to the next room. You don't care about some braggarts memoirs.

Dad can do a more complete check of the books later when we show him.
>>
>>35588124

>Check the books for info- Maybe there's something?
>Draw crude pictures of penises on every paragraph ranting about how great he is
>>
>>35588124
>Straight to the next room. You don't care about some braggarts memoirs.
if there are any magical items we'll find them
>>
>>35588124
>Check the books for info- Maybe there's something?
CHECK! EVERYTHING!
>>
>>35588124
Let's
>loot the room
Before we go
>look for trouble
>>
>>35588124
>>>Straight to the next room. You don't care about some braggarts memoirs.
>>
>>35588124
>Check the books for info- Maybe there's something?
probably not anything about magic, but who knows
>>
A... tie?
Alright, whatever
>>
>>35588405
hehe, good thing I got here to late to vote.
And unfortunately I need to sleep... damn it.
>>
>>35588506
Aren't timezones a bitch?
>>
>>35588557
that they are
>>
We'll need some sort of awesome nickname when we go on our inevitable world wide adventure.
And I have the perfect name.
It works even if Sara and Aria come with us!

Kamen Drider Red (Lyra), Blue(Sara) and Black(Aria)!

Now we just need to figure out Jin and Sheszka's adventuring names.
>>
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>>35588791

>Kamen Drider
>>
>>35588791
>Kamen Drider
11/10
>>
>>35588791
Genius.
>>
As painful as it may be... There might be something in the books. It's just- Ugh.

You glance at the book pile while your party continues its quest to deface every face. The spines are labelled. Volume number, date. You kick each out of the way as you go, shifting the highest number you spot to another pile.

You reach the end. Volume LXVII.

How one man can write so much about absolutely nothing is a question you will take with you to your grave.

Possible lead secured, you flag the group to follow, giggling diminishing as they leave behind an absurd parody of the prior portrait. How fitting. The hallway is a straight shot to the next room, while you flip through the final memoir- The wizard complaining bitterly about how both humans and monsters alike refuse to afford him the respect he so clearly deserves.

You snort.

He then details his plan- He will leave them all behind, and construct a dungeon. And his legend will draw countless adventurers to him. A foolproof plan.

You're fairly certain he died down here without anyone ever finding him. In your opinion, he deserves it for the prose alone- infinitely purple, atrociously dry. The book is a war crime.

You pocket the book, and call a halt as they pry the door open. The room ahead is clear- or appears so, at any rate. You can feel the ticking mechanisms beneath the tiles. You even know which ones are safe.

>Next room!
>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
>Check the book again. Maybe there's more? (Ugh.)
>Other (?)
>>
>>35588960
>>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
Try and activate the traps from here with some earth magic, get the plates to press down themselves
>>
>>35588960
>Disable the trap
By throwing books at it till it triggers, of course.
>>
>>35588960
>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
>Check the book again. Maybe there's more? (Ugh.)

I fear he wanted an eternal audience
>>
>>35588960
>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
>>Check the book again. Maybe there's more? (Ugh.)
Maybe by sticking sticky silk onto the book, throwing the book onto a trap tile, trigger it, then pull the book back?
>>
>>35588960
toss books on pressure plates to trigger traps from afar.
>>
>>35588960
>>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
>>
>>35588960
wait with the disabling, there are 2 more guardians up ahead (ish) that we might want to lure into this trap as well.

arachne can wall crawl and carry our allies over the trap without triggering the pressure plates
>>
>>35588960
>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
>>
>>35588960
>>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
I say we just toss books at traps to disable them. It's not like we'll lose anything of value.
>>
>>35588960
>>Disable the trap. Somehow. Don't want any accidents.
Throw the book onto the pressure plate. Once we've seen how the trap works, ask Sara to give us a hit and earthbend the trap to crush/jam it.
>>
>>35589004
>>35589021
>>35589074
>>35589089
I like this idea just because of the irony value.

The epithet of an egomaniac wizard is undone by his own garbled nonsense immortalised in paper.
>>
Disable via irony.
Got it.
>>
>>35588791
Shit. We also fought a giant enemy crab.

Sheszka is Kamen Drider Amazon and Jin is Kamen Drider Hibiki.

...I'm not sure why I associate Jin with being a bard.
>>
>>35589305

Subconscious Lewd.
>>
>>35589305
Because she tells everyone stories of our greatness? Bards tend to do that quite a lot.
>>
>>35589305
Harpies are like birds right, that means they sing, ergo bard
>>
>>35589394
plus bird and bard sound similar
>>
>>35589335
We will be but the first of Jin's long line of conquests.
>>
>>35589597

>Implying anyone could top Lyra's performance

Jin would quickly come to realize that no one can match up.
>>
A bit of web, and you have a book flail.

This will be the one and only time it serves any sort of purpose.

You back your friends out of the room, book spinning lazily through the air.

And then you take a single step forward, and bring it down as hard as you can on one of the pressure plates.

The tile sinks heavily into the ground, a rasp of stone-on-stone followed by a deep clunking noise- And then the walls fly free on each side, meeting in the centre with a deafening slam, blasting you all with dust and displaced air.

Your eyes blink all together, trying to clear the your vision, while gears clatter, pulling the wall sections back into place, even the floor tile sliding back into its proper position.

What a pain in the ass.

>Try and earth magic the tiles together. If it can't move, it can't trigger.
>Magic the walls. Smash the mechanism.
>Ask an opinion (Who?)
>Other (?)
>>
>>35589726
>>Try and earth magic the tiles together. If it can't move, it can't trigger.
>Magic the walls. Smash the mechanism.
Let's play it safe and try for both
>>
>>35589726
> Pop off all of the tiles with trigger mechanisms under them and disable it that way.
>>
>>35589726
>>Try and earth magic the tiles together. If it can't move, it can't trigger.
>>
>>35589726
>Magic the walls. Smash the mechanism.
>>
>>35589726
>Magic the walls. Smash the mechanism.

Lyre smash.
>>
>>35589726
ceiling crawl to the other side, and pull the two remaining guardians to this trap.
>>
>>35589726
Wall crawl round the plates. Carry dog over.
>>
>>35589726
>Other (?)
spider wallwalk go
>>
Wallwalking and Unsubtle applications of magic?

2d100, please!
>>
Rolled 72, 15 = 87 (2d100)

>>35589958
Smash!
>>
Rolled 88, 89 = 177 (2d100)

>>35589958
>>
Rolled 3, 47 = 50 (2d100)

>>35589958
What is this 'subtle' you speak of?
>>
Rolled 66, 20 = 86 (2d100)

>>35589958
>>
Rolled 75, 62 = 137 (2d100)

>>35589958
is it just me or is failing to one of those traps instantly fatal?
>>
Rolled 70, 48 = 118 (2d100)

>>35589958
crap rolls a-go
>>
>>35589958
We aren't do these at the same time are we?

>>35590001
Only if we try and get passed them without disabling them
>>
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>>35589986
>>
>>35590013
I imagine crit failing the disabling them roll will make us THINK we disabled them and actually not
>>
>>35589986
88 89
Alright, that works!
>>
>>35590054
The Dice Gods show their favor for giant spiders yet again.
>>
A whole week of getting up early for quests finally caught up with me.

I overslept until like three in the PM and am late to this one!
>>
>>35590080
Don't you mean the dice spiders.
>>
>>35590147
Nah. We're lucky, but we are nowhere near Ogre lucky.
>>
>>35590248
Its actually kind of weird. Going through the archives, its rare for us to get below 70 for most of our tests. And the system we're using is responsible for so many critfails in other quests.
>>
>>35590309
3d100 isn't too bad in terms of crit failing
>>
>>35590309
it's probably because A. critfails don't override and B. we get three rolls.
>>
>>35590354
Crits do trump though
>>
>>35590137
Hey anon, I stayed up until three in the AM last night, and in my time zone that means this quest usually starts around the same time REQM gets up for work. I'm just glad I haven't missed any more than I have, personally.
>>
>>35590354
critfails do override, but I think we've only gotten one critfail in the entirety of the quest so far.
>>
>>35590354
that doesn't stop so many other quests from getting bad rolls
the dice gods just love this quest
>>
>>35590529
I can think of two, and one of those times was for a 2d100 and we rolled nat 100 for the other roll. That was how we Shesz. Dice spiders can be funny like that.
>>
Does anyone have that pure and innocent picture of headpats to share?
>>
>>35590599
No, but if I did I would remark that, now that I'm starting to watch Kill La Kill, Shesz and Jin really DO look like Ryuko and Mako.
>>
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>>35590599
>pure and innocent picture of headpats
>pure and innocent
>>
There are too many headpats.
They are INAPPROPRIATE.
>>
>>35590599
WHAT!?
Anon, do you have any idea what you're saying!?
Next you're gonna tell us that holding hands is the most conservative form of affection known to man, and then we'll have to make it our fetish.
>>
You can practically feel Aria staring. You're getting the impression that she really, really doesn't like traps.

On one hand- Giant smashy walls.

On the other- You're fairly certain you can deal with this.

You turn to your companions, already nodding to yourself.
"I need two things, yes."
That snaps their attention back to you.
"First-"

You turn, and pick up your resident harpy, setting her next to Sheszka.
"-You'll have to hold on a minute, Jin. And second, Sara, A bit of mana, if you please?"

You can feel the warmth of her magic collect around her, and she offers a hand. You take both, pulling the mana away from her as you hold her hand.
"Thank you."
She smiles back, and you skitter your way onto the wall, widely leaving space between you and the floor.

Reaching the first wall, You lean over, pressing both palms flat against the stone. The stone answers- slow whispers. You can feel the runes fighting, interfering with your magic. You push harder at it, calling heat and stone.

The wall trembles, and on the other side, stone surges forward, erupting from the wall you're clinging to, obliterating the gears, struts in an instant of fury.

You return to your waiting audience, hanging from the wall, one hand extended.
"Mana, please."

Sara reaches up, a pleased little smile dancing on her face as she puts her hand on yours, your senses flooding with her power.

You switch to the ceiling, walking past the door and to the final wall.

Now that you think about it, you don't really get dizzy when you're sideways. Or upside down. Arachne bodies are just that much more efficient?

You step up to the wall.
Something to think about later, maybe.

The runes can't hold you back. The earth's call sings in your veins, and you can feel the pressure of stone as it crushes the flimsy metal bits beneath it. It brings a smile to your face.
>>
>>35591377
Next room time!

You drop, kicking off the roof to spin yourself right ways up, and land heavily on the triggers- They grind down- and nothing. You wave your friends forwards, scooping Jin and returning her to her throne.

You cast the doors open, and step into the next room.
Another simple square room- This one has a door to your left, and a floating orb of light marking any corner.

You glare at the wall opposite the door. You know there's something beyond it.

Bloody wizard.

>Door first.
>Hidden room first.
>Rant about wizards.
>Other (?)
>>
>>35591399
>Rant about wizards.
>Hidden room first.

>>35591377
>Sara reaches up, a pleased little smile dancing on her face as she puts her hand on yours,
LEWD!
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.

No but seriously, does anyone have the headpat pic.
>>
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>>35591399
>>Hidden room first.
>>Rant about wizards.
Freakin' wizards, man...
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.
>>
>>35591433
daddy is a wizard and isn't anything like this freak

Heck, sarah is a wizard too
we are sorta a wizard... jin is... i have no idea what jin is. is that a monster power or actual wizardry?
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.

He his something in there. It BETTER be good after the last let down!
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.
we will not be beaten by this smug pricks corps
>>
>>35591474
wizards are a job in this universe. If you're a monster, then its just power.
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first.
>>
>>35591508
ah, ok.
well, dad is an elf, which are a humanoid race not a monster race, he does not evolve, instead he has a job.
>>
>>35591399
>Hidden room first
>Rant about wizards
>>35591422
Goddammit! REQM is a lewd ninja!
>>
>>35591399
>>Hidden room first.
>>
>>35591474
I thought he was just a general purpose mage.

In this setting I think of wizards as the dudes in dungeons or towers doing shit with magic that makes absolutely no sense to anyone with a shred of sanity left. Or in any setting, really. They're more interesting that way.
>>
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>>35591425
Wizard rants and Hidden rooms.
>>
>>35591399
>Other (?)
I don't know which direction we are going because I wasn't paying attention for a bit, but we should still head for that big primary mana source.
>>
>>35591723
I can never get over Sheszka's expression.
>>
>>35591968
I can never get over shezka's eyes!
>>
>>35591968
it reminds me of a dog I own.
And of victim girls.
>>
>>35591725
We started in the room top left with the fountain in it. Then we turned left at the spike-trap and defaced bad art in the top most room.

We are now at the bottom of the passage way turning towards the left of the map. We are heading towards that big M.
>>
>>35592041
>my dog had a look like a victimised girl.

The fuck were you doing with your dog?!

Wait. Don't answer that. I am afraid to know.
>>
>>35592140
He is talking about a H-doujin series called Victim Girls.
>>
>>35592162
That's not exactly helping.
>>
>>35592185
It reminds him of his dog an a comic rather than him sexually assaulting his dog. That seems a lot better to me
>>
>>35592140
>>35592283
it reminds me of both victim girls AND my dog.

My dog is a poor creature. I got it off the road covered in mysterious bumps and cysts and mostly starved.
>>
>>35592283
How did a dog get a face like that?
>>
>>35592307
By being in Victim Girls, apparantly.
>>
You stare at the wall, desperately willing it to just vanish. Get lost, wall. You don't have time for this shit.

"Uhm."
You turn, Aria raising an eyebrow as she watches you.
"Are you... well?"

You sigh. Gesturing one-handed towards the defiant wall.
"It is false. Again."
She tilts her head in acknowledgement.

"Wizards." You spit, advancing on your opponent.
"I am tired of puffed up, self important idiots-"
You clench a fist, drawing it back and aiming it at the wall.
"-Who think a DUNGEON of all things is some sort of testament to a bloody life well lived instead of the mark of an absolute madman!"

Your fist arcs in-
and swings straight through an illusory wall, throwing your balance.

You vanish through the portal in a hail of cursing, the laughter of your party following you into a dimly lit hall beyond.

"WIZARDS!"

>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>Try to calm down.
>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
>Other (?)
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>Try to calm down.
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>>
>>35592718
>>Try to calm down.
>>
>>35592718
>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>>
>>35592718
>>Try to calm down.
The last room was a let down, but I still have high hopes for loot.

>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>>
>>35592718
>>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
Shesz will agree with anything we say.
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.
>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
take a deep breath and then
>Try and calm down
>>
>>35592718
>>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.

We really shouldn't hate wizards this much already.

I mean, they never even did anything to us.
>>
>>35592857
Recall that Lyra has possibly ten years of RPing under her thorax. She has reason enough to hate wizards before being born.
>>
>>35592718
>>Get someone to back you up on this wizard thing. Seriously.
>>
>>35592718
>Continue. There's magic in them there halls.

>>35592857
At least not successfully.
>Based spiders ignoring incompetently placed traps since thread 31
>>
We're calm.
Totally calm.
Let's just deal with some more magical bullshit.
It'll all be okay.
>>
So, while we're waiting:
I totally want to see an Asura Arachne now
That sounds fucking awesome.
What kind of powers do you think theyd have?
>>
>>35593211

The power of infinite rage and infinite spiderbutt.
>>
>>35593211
I don't really want one, because that is too many limbs.
TOO MANY.
>>
>>35593211
Punch. Punch Harder. And Punch Hardest.
>>
>>35593063
I wanted to ask-
did we ever see that merchant family again?

I thought it was weird we didn't see them in town during the crab feast.
>>
>>35593211
as going biped would probably mean less spiderbutt it'd fit sara the best
>>
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>>35593279

>less Spiderbutt
>>
So, I've started watching Kill la Kill (I know, slow) and I'm up to episode 2. I've already been spoiled on a certain link between Satsuki and Ryuko,, but for some reason I'm now seeing other people in the quest seeing Lyra as a super stern, super serious ass kicker in the vein of Satsuki, not knowing how she really is.

Which makes the scene when she meets Nin's parents even funnier, when you think of a spiderbutt Satsuki as Lyra.
>>
>>35593367

It came from >>35591723 where many people saw that Jin looked like Mako and Sheszka looked like Ryuko, so obviously Lyra is SATSUKI-SAMA~~~
>>
>>35593367
it's a joke, we're not actually very stern.
>>
>>35593429
I know that, as well as critting on STERN LOOK, but I'm still amused.
>>
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>>35593471

THE STERNEST LOOK.
>>
>>35593429

Actually, if you think about it, Jin could pass for Nonon, Sheszka could do a good Sanageyama, Sara is Inamuta...

Actually, this is starting to fit in a bit too well.
>>
>>35593466
I know Lyra isn't, but I can actually very easily see everyone's first impression of Lyra being stern and taciturn.
>>
You mutter and growl to yourself, while your companions pile through the false wall. Sheszka stops half way- backing out, then in, standing midaway through it and looking at it from both sides.

Jin reaches up with her wings, patting at your head and cooing at you till you start to calm down.

Only a little, though.

"Haaaaaah. Thanks, yes?"
She smiles. Even with just the rune's glow lighting the hall, her eyes shine.
"Yes. I am here for you, too."

You nod, and scurry down the hall.
The whole thing lacks the grandeur of the rest of the dungeon- simpler looking runes glow on the walls, and where the other rooms have smmoth walls and tiled floors, the hallway is stone bricks, through and through.

The corner cuts sharply to the right, and the hall ends, capped with a gilded wooden door.

This man was clearly an idiot of untold proportions.

The door sweeps open without a sound, magically greased hinges (probably) twisting silently. And before you...

Before you is treasure.

A trio of chests is overflowing. Gems, coins, bullion, spilling out onto the floor, the runes flickering light reflecting softly. The whole room is cast in a yellow shade.

Aria and Sara just stare. Jin Squeeks. Sheszka seems unimpressed.

You glare.

The whole thing buzzes with magic. Not a lot- and now that you're closer, you can pick out what you thought was some giant signal is in fact a pile of smaller signals.

Coming from.... your right.

Where there's a wall.
For a man who built a horrifically trapped underground bunker, there is an astounding lack of imagination at play here.

>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.
>Neither illusion, nor stone, nor wizard will stop you. Get through that wall.
>Other (?)
>>
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>>35593504

This quest was written by a Giant Spider who happened to be a Kill la Kill fan.

It's not very surprising.

>>35593548
To be fair, Satsuki wasn't "Stern" so much as "I have important shit to do" and just had the STERN FACE on by default.
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.
>>
>>35593599
>Neither illusion, nor stone, nor wizard will stop you. Get through that wall
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.
Hit those mimics with your sword.
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.
Don't even THINK of touching magical gold, it sounds like a trap. in fact, everyone stand outside room while doing that.

then again, make sure its actually the gold that is magical and not something underneath it, don't want to destroy a magic item of loot
>>
>>35593599

Don't fucking touch anything.

Demand this of them.

Do it, you spiderbutt.
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.
then we go through the wall
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.

>Jin reaches up with her wings, patting at your head and cooing at you till you start to calm down.
Uh oh, Lyra's falling under the spell of the headpats! Payback is... well, nice.

>>35593604
Which is Lyra! Only instead of "I have important shit to do" it's "oh god what the hell is going on why am i patting heads Nin stop trying to make me queen aaaaaaaaaa".
>>
>>35593599
>Neither illusion, nor stone, nor wizard will stop you. Get through that wall.
I want to expose it so that Sara can take a look at it and take notes.
>>
>>35593599
>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.

got to get that loot we can bust down things after
>>
>>35593599
>>Take a moment, try and disrupt whatever is going on with the gold.

STERN GLACE AT THE GOLD
>>
>>35593599
drawfriends of /tg/ we need you! Jin reaching up to head pat us is 2cute
>>
Alright gold whats your problem
no wait
I already know your problem
its wizards
I have had it up tO HERE WITH WIZARDS
>>
>>35593922
Lyra's going to need some extra strength headpatting.
>>
>>35593922
B-but lyra
your DAD is a wizard!
>>
>>35593211
All the best traits of a Maralith and a Drider

I actually really like the mental image I have for a four-armed Arachne, to be honest. It'd be amazing.
>>
>>35593922
Lyra is goint be so disillusioned of dungeons when we're done with this.
>>
>>35594021
Maybe the next one will have been built by a wizard who isn't a colossal dick. Maybe.
>>
>>35594051
Not very likely we are talking about wizards here.
>>
>>35594021
I told you guys the dungeon would be lame.
>>35594051
Honestly, this guy isn't that dickish. Just not IMPRESSIVE like we hyped ourself up for.
>>
File: 1338321727302.jpg (475 KB, 922x1300)
475 KB
475 KB JPG
You know what this means?

Lyra is going to have to build a dungeon that makes everyone hate dungeons and stop making them.

Lyra is going to build the Tomb of Horrors.
>>
>>35594077
Well, we ARE playing with cheat codes on. I'm sure this would be super exciting if the traps were all surprising and tense.
>>
File: lightlaughing.gif (39 KB, 300x166)
39 KB
39 KB GIF
>>35594021
She'll stick with fighting armies and raiding evil kingdoms and saving princesses and OH SHIT NIN'S PLAN IS COMING TOGETHER.
>>
>>35594339
All roads point to Queen.
>>
>>35594339
>>35594374
my plan is the same as it always has been.
Go on high flying adventures, come home and pawn all the shit we don't want, and live near a gradually expanding megacity.
>>
You clap your hands over your face, grinding your teeth.
"Lyra?"
"The wall is false and everything is magic. Just... Don't touch anything yet, yes?"

With murmurs of assent behind you, you stretch your senses out towards the treasure.

It's definitely enchanted. Not a trap or anything, just something spectacularly weak. Not the coins- The chests. Each chest is enchanted. You sieze the magic from the first, tearing it free. It's not even enough to cast anything, barely a wisp of mana. You let it go, and turn your attention back to the issue at hand.

The lustre, the glimmer, all gone. The coins are wood, or lead. Something dull, worthless. The bullion is just actual bricks, the gems are rocks.

What an unbelievable ass.

You repeat the procedure twice more, and the golden glow fades from the room. Aria even dumps the chests, hoping for something. No luck.
Its garbage through and through.

Your eyes narrow as you face down the false wall.
Even your siblings are starting to feel it now.
"Should there not be more monsters? More treasure, yes? Not-" Aria's hand makes a placating gesture, motioning all around her.
"-Not stories about himself and stupid traps."
Sara sniffs.

"This isn't even a dungeon, is it? This is an idiot hole."
You snort, your anger dissolving into shred giggles in the dim room.

"Lets just get through the wall, yes?"

>MAGIC
>FORCE
>HEART (this is not a real option)
>SMARTS
>Other (?)
>>
>>35594408
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>SMARTS
>>
>>35594408
>>FORCE
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
SHINING FINGER
>>
>>35594408
>FORCE
>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>>FORCE
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>>FORCE
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>FORCE
LYRA SMASH
>>
>>35594408
>>FORCE
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
HEART IS ALWAYS A REAL OPTION
>>
>>35594408

>HEART (this is not a real option)
>SMARTS
>>
>>35594408
>magic, I bet this jackass wasn't that good of a wizard in the first place, wouldn't surprise me if he hired someone else to build this place.
>>
>>35594408
>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>>FORCE
>>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>MAGIC
>>
>>35594408
>MAGIC
>HEART (this is not a real option)
And then Lyra was a magical Girl in a frilly costume.
>>
>>35594408
>SMARTS
Give Sara SOMETHING to do besides just be our mana battery.
>>
>>35594408
>MAGIC
>HEART (this is not a real option)

By your powers combined, fuck this stupid wizard!
>>
>>35594408
>SMARTS
>>
>>35594408
>SMARTS
>HEART (this is not a real option)
>>
>>35594408
>SMARTS
>HEART
>>
>>35594408
>FORCE
>>
>>35594408
>MAGIC
>FUCK HEART ITS ALL ABOUT GUTS!
>>
>>35594408
>FORCE
>>35594531
Next to us Sara has contributed the most sofar.
>>
Spider-Smash!

Gimme 5d100!

You can't critfail this.
>>
actually, yeah, having the others do more would be nice.

Oh well. Wizard dungeons are what they are.
>>
Rolled 60, 34, 14, 67, 18 = 193 (5d100)

>>35594740
>>
Rolled 18, 98, 23, 40, 56 = 235 (5d100)

>>35594740
>>
Rolled 54, 73, 17, 85, 34 = 263 (5d100)

>>35594740
>>
Rolled 23, 63, 18, 54, 75 = 233 (5d100)

>>35594740
>>
Rolled 25, 73, 51, 83, 95 = 327 (5d100)

>>35594740

WIZARD
>>
>>35594760
>>35594764
>>35594785
We somehow fucked up in the middle there.
>>
60 98 23 85 56
Well done!
You've defeated the ferocious [Wall]
You recieve 1x sense of satisfaction
You recieve 0 XP
>>
>>35594844
Man, this whole dungeon had just been a disappointment. I hope you throw a hydra or Devil or something at us towards the end.
>>
>>35594844
but what about loot?
>>
>>35594844
>You recieve 0 XP
Don't care, that smug wall had it coming.
>>
>>35594943
there's still the boss room.
We're saving it for last.
>>
>>35594943

>inb4 Dead wizard on a throne
>>
>>35594943
I think that's the point, Lyra is like "WTF?!" too, hence the wall smash.
>>
>>35594943
Hey man, look at the map again, and check its legend. There is a strong magical source of energy in this concealed room, the fake treasure was just a decoy to throw people off.

I have a feeling we're just about to hit something good.
>>
You lean over the dumped out piles of garbage, and extricate a brick. Then another. And another. You quietly hand them out, one for every person.

Even Jin has a brick clutched in one talon, wearing a confused look.

A brick held loosely in one hand, you wave at the wall with your free limb.
"Jin? Would you like to start?"

A grin crawls across her face- her leg swings wide, and the rock flies, crashing into the wall, chipping the shoddy stone.

It's all it takes. Everyone throws themselves at the wall with abandon, laughing and shouting. Stone flies.

Aria's brick shatters in her hand, and she starts clawing a stone free from the wall. Even Sara has a brick overhead in two hands, hammering away at the barrier. Sheszka punches her brick clear through the all, fighting to get her hand free, tail wagging, face creased with laughter. You smash into the wall with everything you have. Bloody wizards.

It doesn't take long before you've reduced the thing to rubble, a pile of broken stones marking the hidden entrance.

And within.....

>Gimme 10d100
>And you know, speculate. For my amusement.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>35595301
>>
Rolled 66, 93, 53, 39, 62, 19, 17, 17, 59, 78 = 503 (10d100)

>>35595301
>>
Rolled 74, 62, 34, 18, 3, 20, 38, 78, 26, 47 = 400 (10d100)

>>35595301
magical porn stash
>>
Rolled 81, 62, 85, 34, 9, 5, 45, 20, 48, 28 = 417 (10d100)

>>35595301
the real treasure trove
>>
Rolled 64, 29, 57, 40, 1, 2, 82, 45, 23, 11 = 354 (10d100)

>>35595301
Nazi gold.
>>
Rolled 11, 42, 95, 56, 88, 24, 55, 41, 84, 83 = 579 (10d100)

>>35595301
>>
>>35595301
It's a big ol' refractor gem. Worth a lot of zenni.

Either that or a ROLLING STONE, and then we have an indiana jones style chase.
>>
>>35595301
A solid gold gem encrusted Bust of the Damn wizard.
>>
Rolled 82, 39, 28, 39, 99, 92, 37, 96, 68, 51 = 631 (10d100)

>>35595301
by the power of greyskull
>>
Rolled 75, 87, 32, 74, 100, 28, 72, 67, 52, 76 = 663 (10d100)

>>35595301
Paintings of himself.
>>
>>35595386
By the power of Grayskull indeed anon
>>
>>35595405
I hope you are wrong anon... for all our sakes
>>
All these dreams, which to crush first?
>>
Rolled 34, 85, 48, 80, 68, 36, 56, 60, 12, 44 = 523 (10d100)

>>35595301

the Wizard - he trapped himself in after trying to find where he put his latest auto-biography...

though more likely some of his actual magic tomes, some staffs, scrolls, possibly research notes.... maybe some alchemical apperatus
>>
>>35595437
well guess we're dead fun quest while it lasted
>>
I figured the wizard build 2 traps and 4 golems
then he fell down some stairs one night and died
>>
>>35595437

The one where I violate your spiderbutt for crushing my dreams of loot.

Crush that dream, by giving out good loot, or I'll violate your spiderbutt.
>>
Rolled 9, 7, 3, 10, 7, 6, 7, 4, 1, 7 = 61 (10d10)

>>35595301
ALL THE NAZI GOLD IN THE WORLD.
>>
Rolled 80, 85, 79, 7, 32, 65, 35, 18, 67, 91 = 559 (10d100)

>>35595489
Oh wait, that was 10d100s, not d10s. Whoops!
>>
The wizard isn't dead.
He isn't even here.
He popped out to go to the store and get some provisions.
He will get back home to see his place robbed and vandalized.
>>
>>35595535
He shouldn't have such shitty protections. Or at least put up a door.
>>
This...
This looks promising, actually.

There's a workbench, much like your father's, scattered with materials.
A bookshelf, with a tiny selection of book- Even cautious, Sara looks like she's drooling as she closes on it.

The walls have a few racks, littered with all sorts of things- Staves, wands, an amulet hanging from a hook.

You can feel the burn of magic from everything.

This, this is what dungeons are about, you think, Jamming everything into bags.

Loot.

Lots of Loot.

Sara's actually set herself down, poring over each text before she pockets them, cackling a little as she goes through each, muttering about spells or runes or whatever. Aria's slung the staves behind her grinning.

Jin's eyes are fixed to the amulet, watching it glint gently in the darkness. You pluck it from the hook, dangling it in front of you, and her head twists to follow.
"Jin? Is this something you want?"
"Yes."

You look at the piece closely- Wrought out of silver, a weird sort of tisted geometric shape with a deep blue stone set in the centre.
Yeah, you have no idea what this does. It's definitely magic, though.

>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
>Here you go
>You can have, just don't put it on yet, yes?
>Other (?)
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.

CURSED OBJECTS BEWARE
>>
>>35596286
>>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
No need to get anyone cursed.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.

Appraisal first.
Cursed items are BULLSHIT.
>>
>>35596286
>>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
>>
>>35596286
>>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
Be wary of curses, yes.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
with the way this has been going, it's probably enchanted to make you look like that wizard
>>
>>35596286
>>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
What does Shesz want? Other than belly rubs.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.

we got to take care of our trophy harpy
>>
>>35596286
>>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
Safety comes first when dungeon diving. This wizard was clearly off his rocker after all.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
No one uses anything until it is checked, least something happen like Lyra becoming a guy. Much to Jin's delight.
>>
>>35596286
>We'll get my Dad to look at it, okay? Make sure it's safe.
Be careful.
>>
>No taking chances with the harpy. Got it.

>On the down side, I'm a dirty liar and I'm passing out at this point.
>We'll call it here. I should be able to pick back up tomorrow, and we can escape wizard hell.
>Thanks for playing!
>No Q&A tonight on account of getting loopy.
>>
>>35596676
aw blazard fazards
>>
>>35596676
don't forget to archive!
>>
>>35596676
Kay. Good night.
>>
>>35596676
Thanks for running, you cute little spider.
>>
>>35596676
Thanks for running.
>>
>>35596676
Thanks for running dude, hope I catch your thread tomorrow.



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