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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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Your alarm clock jars you from your sleep. It's a monday. You spent all of last night at your friend's playing video games and having sneaky drinks. You didn't get home until three am, and now it's seven and you've got school. Fuck.

You hop out of bed and go straight to your attached bathroom. You fill up your sink full of water and dunk your head in. Nope, still feel like shit. You trundle out into the kitchen and get yourself some toast and vegemite. Your mum is shut up in her room like usual, and your sister Nat seems to have already gone to work. Your mum'll toss a fit if you try and wake her, so if you want to get to school you'll have to walk. Fun.

>Fuck it, wake mum
>Walk
>Fuck it, let's wag today
>>
>>35639906
>Fuck it, let's wag today

I'm expecting lots of wagging. No, I do not care if it was a typo or not.
>>
>>35639906
Oi oi, wot's oll dis den?
>>
>>35639906
>>Fuck it, let's wag today
>>
>>35639906
>>Fuck it, let's wag today.

Let's go yell at the bogans and get into fights.
>>
>>35639906
Go back to running BGQ already
>>
>>35639906

>Fuck it, let's wag today

I ain't walking to school like some yobbo.
>>
>>35639994
I ain't chuckles
>>
>>35639906
>Fuck it, let's wag today
I have no idea what this means, but if this quest doesn't end with us in a giant robot knife fighting a giant spider monster I won't know what to do with myself.
>>
>>35640026

Wagging is Aussie slang for skipping school.
>>
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>>35639906
What are you cunts saying about my country?
>>
>>35640026
>>35639906

>>Get back inside Striker Eureka
>>
>>35640065
Mate, if you didn't wag sports Wednesday then you ain't livin' mate.
>>
As far as you care, school and everyone in it can get fucked. You're really not up to that shit today. You put on a clean shirt, have a berocca, then go out the front door. The sun burns your eyes and drives two spikes of pain through your skull, so you run back in to grab a pair of sunglasses.

Now that your out here, you have no idea where to go.

> Head to the shopping centre. Be a stereotypical delinquent
> Go see your mate, he never goes to school. He's really mental though, and not in the good way
> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too
>>
>>35640146
>>Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there to.
>>
>>35640146
>> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too
Hopefully some sheila will be there
>>
>>35640146

> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too

If we go to the shops some cunt will get the cops onto us, the park doesn't have cunts in it so we're all good there.
>>
>>35640146
> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too
>>
> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too

Recreation best choice.
>>
>>35640146
>> Go to the park and hang out at your spot. If you're lucky someone else is wagging and they'll go there too
>>
>>35640146
>Go see your mate, he never goes to school. He's really mental though, and not in the good way
>>
Park's just around the corner, and it's the closest of everything. Plus you're probably not gonna run into the coppers in the park.

You head to the park and head to the back. There's a bunch of trees in the back, the spiky kind that they probably told you about in school but you can't be fucked remembering. You climb through the brush and into a little clearing that's hidden from prying eyes. The grass is littered with ciggy butts and bottles.

Unfortunately, there's no one here, just you. Eh, could be worse. You could be having to sit through care class right now. What to do now though?

>Check the stash for grog
>Check the stash for cigs
>Check the stash for both
>Fuck it, have a nap on the old mattress you dragged in here
>>
>>35640510
>>Check the stash for both
>>
>>35640510
>Check the stash for cigs
Cigs are good for getting little favours off people later as well as introducing yourself by offering one.
>>
>>35640510
>Fuck it, have a nap on the old mattress you dragged in here
>>
I can't fucking understand half of this shit.
>>
>>35640510
>Check the stash for cigs
Had too much booze last night. Save it for later mate.
>>
>>35640510
>>Check the stash for grog
>>Check the stash for cigs
Get some durreys and goon
>>
>>35640615
grog is alcohol wag is skip school cigs are cigarettes a mate is a friend
>>
>>35640510

>Check the stash for cigs

Stashed grog is always fucked, the cigs can still be traded for shit.
>>
>>35640615
What can't you understand mate?
Ciggies are cigarettes, grog is booze, wag is skipping school.
Were you dropped on your head as an ankle biter?
It's not that hard yakka.
>>
>>35640615
Man, this is only really standard slang, if you can't understand this you're a dumbass.
>>
>>35640716
indeed this is the simple stuff except maybe grog

you know i think i have a big book of ausie slang around here somewhere
>>
>>35640615
Here's an informative documentary, in two parts.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYenBhiIbuQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OndOHvCDGRU
>>
>>35640745
Grog is in Monkey Island. It's shouldn't be unknown.
>>
all you blokes posting in a drongo thread
>>
>>35640760
How to talk Australians is better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHQRZXM-4xI&list=PLNJmwVFwfFGObBZa5ekSO_1JM3mY8SMQj&index=1
>>
>>35640789
get out of here, bogan

you're a sick cunt and it ain't a good kind of sick cunt
>>
You check the old box at the back of the clearing for grog and cigs. This box had been here long before you knew of the spot, and the spot had been a meeting place for kids for years and years. Usually one of the older guys comes in and donates their extra cigs and beers; sorta like a donation system.

You pop the box open. Damn, pretty much empty. There's half a pack of no brand cigs and a bottle of fourex. You open the fourex. Ah fuck, smells like shit. You're not drinking that. You pocket the cigs and chuck the bottle away.

>Light up
>Save em
and
>Crash here
>Go for a wander
>>
>>35640999
>Save em
and
>Go for a wander
>>
>>35640999
>save em
>go for a wander
>>
>>35640999
>>Save 'em

and

>>Go for a wander

Let's go get fall into a giant robot.
>>
>>35640999
throw the cancer sticks in the bin and go to school and learn something you fucking faggot
>>
>>35640999
>Save em
and
>Go for a wander
>>
>>35640999
>Save em
>Go for a wander
Walkabout time
>>
>>35640999

>Save 'em
>Go for a wander

Let's go have a squiz at stuff, see if anything's happening.
>>
>>35641069
good advice but does not make for a fun quest
>>
>>35641069
>Going to school
>Not going to Tafe or getting a trade
>>
You save the cigs for when you need them. Besides, you don't feel like sitting around, and walking around smoking a cigarette in broad daylight is sure to get some attention.

As your climbing out from the spot, someone calls out to you.
"Oi, who's that?"
You look up. It's Gemma Mayne.
"Oh, hey Gems," you say.
"Oi Ross, you wagging too? Nice."
"Yeah, fucking hungover from last night, couldn't stomach the thought of going to school. What about you?"
"School's fah' fags anyway. Hey did you touch my grog I stashed?"
"Uh, yeah? It was off. And warm. I chucked it."
"Oi what the fuck, why would you fuckin chuck my grog mate? I've been saving that shit for a week now, was waiting for the right time."

>"Come off it, fourex is shit anyway."
>"Oh, sorry, I'll make it up to you."
>Write-in
>>
>>35641390
indeed
>>
>>35641434
>"Come off it, fourex is shit anyway."
>>
>>35641434
>>fourex

Oh Jesus, we're going that far are we?
>>
>>35641434
>"Gems you know fourex is piss in a bottle anyway, would a ciggie make it up to ya?"
>>
>>35641434
>>"Come off it, fourex is shit anyway."
FUCKING QUEENSLANDERS
>>
>>35641482
Seconding
>>
>>35641434
>"Oh, sorry, I'll make it up to you."

but say it like your going to make it up with sex
>>
>>35641491
you wanna fight cunt
>>
>>35641500
Fights already sorted QLD lost mate
>>
>>35641500
Face it, fourex is shit mate. Only dumb cunts drink that piss, at least it's better than VB.
>>
>>35641532
It aint better than VB, VB can be exported. XXXX can't even pass quarantine.
>>
>>35641516
nah we just felt sorry for you after an eight year losing streak
>>
>>35641570
>Feeling sorry
Weakness confirmed
>>
>>35641588
I take it true 'Strayans don't feel pity?
>>
>>35641552
I don't drink either anyway. Carlton Mids where it is at. Fruity Lexia makes ya sexier.
>>
>>35641588
nothing wrong with empathy mate
>>
>>35641594
No, but faking it is often used to lower our opponents guard.
>>35641616
Damn it, we can't let the fact that we are ordinary humans get out.
>>
The fuck is happening in here?
>>
>>35641659
oh shit your right
>>
godamnit Ross
>>
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>>35641666
Mate
>>
>>35641666
we are arguing over beer
>>
>>35641666
Straya Mate.
>>
>>35641706
well i myself am not i dont like beer its disgusting but most australians love it
>>
>>35641434
>"Come off it, fourex is shit anyway."
>>
>>35641706
I think you mean "we're arguing over Foster's"
>>
>>35641824
Look at this drongo
>>
"Come off it, fourex is piss anyway. I'll make it up to you."
"Yeah alright. You get the cigs?"
"Yeah I got them. You want one?"
She sucks air in through her teeth. "Nah, not this early. Save em for later. So what were you gonna do?"
"Nothing, got nothing to do so I was just gonna wander."
"Yeah alright, I'll come with. Didn't have nothin to do today anyway."

You spend the rest of the morning just wandering around the streets of your neighbourhood, chatting about shit. Come midday though, and you're getting tired, bored and hungry.

>Head to the shops
>Go back to yours
>Go to Gemma's
>>
>>35641870
>>Go to Gemma's
>>
>>35641870
>Go to Gemma's
>>
>>35641870
>>Go to Gemma's
Domestic violence inbound.
>>
>>35641870
>go to gemma's
>>
>>35641870

>Go to Gemma's

Mum's at our house, maybe nobody's at her's
Also do Bob Hawke proud and give her a hardcore root mate.
>>
>>35641870
>Head to the shops
>>
>>35641870
>>Go to Gemma's

Time to introduce her to little Ross.
>>
>>35641870
go to gems
>>
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>>35641824
you're fucked in the head m8
>>
i am going to fuck gemma
>>
>>35641870
Give us a pic of Gem, cunt, we gotta know if she's worth rogering or not.
>>
is op ded?
>>
not dead, taking out the bins
>>
>>35642127
Yeah, photo of Gemma would be nice, even if its just some random pic
>>
>>35641824
Clearly not an Aussie.
>>
"Your dad home?" you ask Gemma.
"Nah, he's at work," she replies.
"So there's no one at yours?"
She gives you a look. "What about yours?" she asks.
"Mum's probably shut up in her room shooting up and my sis is at work."
"Cool, maybe we can go to yours and ask your mum to share-"
"No." you cut her off. "Definitely no."
"Calm your jalms, Ross, I was just joshing."
"Yeah, alright," you say, calming a little. "So... yours then?"
"Fine, you horny perv."
"Hey, that wasn't what I meant!"
"I can read your mind, Rosso~. You're totally after this hot bod. If you behave, maybe I'll reward you." She waggles her hips, before laughing and leading you on.

Gemma shoves her door open with a crash. "Hello? Anyone home?" No answer. "I've brought a friend!" Nothing. She puts the keys on the little desk next to the door and leads you in, still shouting. "It's a boy~! We've got cigarettes and I'm gonna take a few beers, that fine with you guys?" Pause. "'Kay then, thanks~."
She takes you into her room. You've only been here once before, when a mutual friend scored some joints and you needed somewhere to smoke them.
She lays down onto her bed. "Get some shit if you're hungry, it's all yours."

>Pull out the smokes
>Raid the fridge
>Get her to make you a sandwich
>>
>>35642258
>Raid the fridge
>>
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>>35642258
>>Get her to make you a sandwich
>>
>>35642258
raid the fridge
>>
>>35642258
>>Raid the fridge
>>
>>35642127
>>35642206
I don't have a pic of gemma

could trawl facebook, but the thought makes me feel dirty
>>
>>35642258
>raid the fridge
>>
>>35642323
Nah, just use some anime cunt, cunt.
>>
>>35642258
fuck, then realise that we're drift compatible and go pilot Striker Eureka mkII
>>
>>35642323
do it you dirty cunt
>>
>>35642323
yeah dont trawl facebook like you said thats dirty

>>35642329
fuck i left my trip on
>>
>>35642336
no anime, some real aussie slut
>>
>>35642411
>>35642384
>>35642348
>>35642323
Maybe bounce from Facebook to Facebook until you're like, ten accounts away from yours?
>>
>>35642426
no thats to creapy
>>
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>>35642323
>>
honestly just google image search "australian girl" and find your personal hottest example
>>
>>35642475
I'd fuck her
>>
>>35642507
works for me
>>
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here

the hottest bogan i could see scrolling through fb
>>
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>>35642507

Seems to fit the profile.
>>
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>>35642475
>>
>>35642507
or even better use bing image search and choose the hottest
>>
Tempted to get something from one of my facebook friends but fuck that, go with this.
>>
>>35642609
oh god i tried but it felt so weird masturbating to somebody that was chosen based on her nationality
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XebF2cgmFmU

>ross' dad
>>
"I'm gonna raid the fridge," you say.
"Go ahead," she replies. "Take whatever. Don't care what my dickhead dad thinks anyway."
"Alright." You head into her kitchen and open her fridge. Eggs, milk, fruit, meat in a thing. All shit you have to cook. Ugh. You look around the rest of the kitchen. Two minute noodles, bread (Wonder White), bottle of coke, hundreds and thousands, a packet of chips-
wait
White bread, hundreds and thousands, butter.
Oh the temptation is strong

>MOTHA. FUCKIN. FAIRY BREAD.
>Instant noodles
>Get the shit from the fridge and go all out making something
>Too much effort, just grab the chips
>>
>>35642793
fairy bread is the only option and you know it
>>
>>35642793
>MOTHA. FUCKIN. FAIRY BREAD.
>Instant noodles
>Get the shit from the fridge and go all out making something
>Too much effort, just grab the chips
Fuckin' eat all their shit!
>>
>>35642793
>FAIRY BREAD
>>
>>35642793
>MOTHA. FUCKIN. FAIRY BREAD.
>>
>>35642793
What the fuck is fairy bread?
>>
>>35642843
its bread with hundreds and thousands on it
>>
>>35642793
>MOTHA. FUCKIN. FAIRY BREAD.
>>
>>35642843
non-aussie spotted
>>
before this quest i did not think our speech was that unusual but now i find out even fairy bread is an Australian thing
>>
>>35642843
Fuck off ya shit cunt Were fuckin full cunt
>>
I feel so out of touch with my parents home country. I only understand like half this shit.
>>
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>>35642843
>>
>>35642850
we must teach the non aussies not chase them away
>>
>>35642793
>FAIRY BREAD.
Pour yourself some coke, too
>>
>>35642865
heh
>>
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>>35642843
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_bread
>>
I feel very emasculated reading this thread because I wasnt born strayan. Is there anything I can do to make up for my accident of birth?
>>
>>35642843
Take some bread, butter it, and cover it in hundreds and thousands (I think they're called sprinkles in 'murica).
>>
>>35642869
>>35642901
This is the most white trash thing I've ever seen.
>>
>>35642793
>MOTHA. FUCKIN. FAIRY BREAD.
FUK YEH
>>
>>35642910
move to victoria, western suburbs
>>
>>35642910
yes you must first come to Australia then you must perform the ritual of 1000 mates
>>
>>35642910
No
>>35642922
You wanna fight, cunt?
>>
>>35642922
I don't know. I put peanut butter on blueberry pop tarts...
>>
>>35642922
Holy shit, that sort of talk is legitimately asking for a beating over here.
>>
>>35642922
kill the heretic
>>
>>35642933
N-no, I'm Canadian.

>>35642950
Sorry.
>>
>>35642950
you know it is shitposting which is against the rules so he is still asking for an internet beating
>>
hurry up op. what? do you have year 8 level of writing?
>>
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I just got here, and I can safely say this thread is perhaps the most accurate portrayal of a bogan lifestyle I have ever seen.
>>
>>35643034
my mum is watching piglet's big movie on the tv

this atmosphere is not conductive to what I'm writing
>>
>>35643054
After this post I'm switching to my tablet
>>
>>35643054
>>35643067
>>35642553


good, coz ive got my dick in my hand waiting for gemma
>>
So is OP sentinel or chuckles?

or is it vaelys finally doing something
>>
Of course you're going to take the best option of all the shit here. You grab some slices of white bread, butter them up, then go all out with the hundreds and thousands. You cut the slices up and take the plate back to Gemma's room.

She bursts out laughing when she sees what you got. "Holy shit, are you twelve?"
You stop in the doorway. "What? It's fuckin fairy bread, it's delicious."
"Alright, pass us the plate then."
You sit down with your back against her bed, holding the plate up for her to grab a piece. To your surprise, she grabs the whole plate, but it's even more surprising when she sits down in your lap.
"Oof" you say. "Steady on."
"Open wide~" she says. She's turned around at the waist, holding out a piece of fairy bread, obviously intending to feed you.

>Play along
>Feed yourself
>>
>>35643130
play the fuck along
>>
>>35643130
>Feed yourself
I trust nobody but myself with fairy bread
>>
>>35643130
what the fuk do you think
>Play along
>>
>>35643130
>>Play along
Yep, we're rooting her.
>>
>>35643130
>>Play along.
>>
calm down ay? this was a segue so I can swap to my tablet
>>
>>35643127
Well if he's chuckles Gemma better get ready to roll for anal circumference.
>>
>>35643054
you know i dont think i ever ended up seeing that
>>
>>35643130
>Play along
>>
>>35643130
>feed ourselves

sheila's obvs rooted half tha suburbs mate, dont want her nasty cunt bugs
>>
>>35643130
>play along
>>
When do we get to put a firewall on them bloody lebos?
>>
Tablet attained, writing
>>
>>35643309
excelent
>>
>>35643309
i want to fight some cunt

k?
>>
You oblige her, opening your mouth and taking a bite. She alternates, letting you take take a bite then taking one herself. Meanwhile, she starts slowly rocking her hips.
"Oh man," you gasp.
"What, is eating fairy bread really that good? I don't see what's so great about it."
"You know what you're doing," you say.
"Oh? I'm not doing anything," she says as she feeds to another piece.

Time for payback.
>Agressive, hands on her tits
>subtle, hands on her waist
>hands on her hips, and start using that to help her rock
>>
>subtle, hands on her waist
>>
>>35643501
>>Subtle, hands on her waist
>>
>>35643501
>hands on her hips, and start using that to help her rock
>>
>>35643501
agressive hands on tits

go all out
>>
>>35643501
aggressive, just pull her fucking shorts down now
>>
>>35643501
>hands on her hips, and start using that to help her rock
>>
>>35643501
>subtle, hands on her waist
>>
this is the first time there has not been a clear favourite
>>
>>35643501
sluts love the aggression

be dominant

were not in the god damned friendzone
>>
>>35643501
>agressive, hands on her tits

Show this bitch pain for laughing at fairy bread
>>
>>35643501

>Aggressive, hands on her tits
>>
>>35643562
well there was some indecision with the stash thing but not neck and neck like this
>>
>>35643501
>>Agressive, hands on her tits
>>
>>35643501
>aggressive hands on tits
>>
>>35643580
welp nevermind agreesive is now clearly winning a shame really i was hoping for helping her rock
>>
>subtle, hands on her waist

Gotta play the girls all sly-like, or she might give our gob a smack.
>>
>>35643604
not this girl, shes a slappa
>>
>>35643501
>subtle, hands on her waist
>>
Slip 'er a length, Tezza!
>>
Looks like someone's getting gobbies
>>
>don't even know if this slut is worth breeding

Fuck it, always default to impregnate.
>>
"So you don't know what you're doing, huh?" You dart your hands up quick, grabbing her by her tits.
She holds back a gasp, barely, but her face goes very red. "What's brought this on, Ross?"
"I said I'd pay you back."
"I think we're even, then. Oh!" she gasps, as you give her a strong squeeze. You bring your hands up under her shirt and over her bra. You reach behind her back and undo the clasp. They're pretty big. You don't know cup sizes that well, but they're probably C cups?
She's starting to rock harder, and that's not the only thing that's getting rock hard.

>Get to it. Pants down, bend her over the bed and get to rooting
>No need to rush. Draw it out, get naked and fuck her in your lap
>Fingerbang her
>Other
>>
>>35643672

Do strayan women get teen pregnant? I heard they could will their uterus to absorb the fetus like some animals do during a hard winter.
>>
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>Fingerbang her
We gotta maintain some class.
>>
>>35643706
>No need to rush. Draw it out, get naked and fuck her in your lap
>>35643707
You can't will it, it just happens on its's own some of the time.
>>
>Get to it. Pants down, bend her over the bed and get to rooting
>>
>>35643706

This is Straya, bend her over the bed and get to rootin'
>>
>>35643706
>>Fingerbang her

FINGERBANG BANG HER ALL NIGHT LONG
>>
>>35643706
>>Get to it. Pants down, bend her over the bed and get to rooting.
>>
>>35643706
>>
>>35643706
Fingerbang Oclock
>>
>>35643706
Finger-bang her like she works on Good Game and you saw her in a night club.
>>
>>35643706
>Get to it. Pants down, bend her over the bed and get to rooting
>>
>>35643706
finger bang bang her every night, girl i know you want it and thats alright

>fingerbang
>>
>>35643706
>>Fingerbang her
>>
>>35643706
>No need to rush. Draw it out, get naked and fuck her in your lap
>>
>>35642601
> Housos quotes

If frank falzony don't play a role in this thread, I'll thong you dickheads!
>>
>>35643747
ok good game is a very australian thing but i think im missing the refrence here
>>
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>>35643706
>Fingerbang her

Even a bumpkin bogan knows to see to the missus first.
>>
>>35643706
>Fingerbang her
we can draw this out
>>
>>35643788
female host was caught getting fingered in a night club

stephanie bendixen i believe
>>
>>35643816
oh god how did i not hear about that thats hilarious
>>
>>35643828
thing is im not sure if i should be happy for her for getting a banging or pity her for actually visiting a nightclub
>>
>>35643816
>>35643828
guys

guys

guys


this is gemma
>>
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>>35643845
potsti reaction
>>
>>35643838
you know i met her once she used the same hero in dota2 when she first started playing as me luna

also im trying to make a joke about this tying back into the fact shes a graphics whore but i cant make it work

nice lady though you know when i met her i also met bajo and holy shit he has a strong handshake
>>
>>35643857
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bcc_ki-atF8

she would be kind of my thing if it werent for the super white trash nose ring
>>
>>35643845
thats perfect
>>
OP after we fug, can we sit around in our dacks and watch sum farkin Totalee WhyEld
>>
>>35643885
but, she is at least a good gemma
>>
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>that moment when you realize you're probably surrounded by strayans ITT

I'm stealing that buttersprinkle bread though. I'm gonna eat it tomorrow. While enjoying loli legally.

MURRIKA FUCK YEAR
>>
>>35643911
its a shame you can take the good parts of australia but we cant take the good parts of the us
>>
>>35643911
NO, THATS OUR FOOD YA CHEEKY CUNT

>2011+3
>culturally appropriating australia
>>
Counting on a tablet is shithouse

just to doublecheck, it's fingerbanging right?
>>
>>35643911
lel

>buttersprinkle bread

fuck me, thats what im going to call it from now on
>>
>>35643925
im glad vegimite got sold it was horrible
>>
>>35643928
Aye, votes are something like 3-1-6 in fingerbang favor.
>>
>>35643935
oh vegimite is terrible, but its god that, so horrible that I kind of enjoy it thing going on

hey we have this shitty hateful salt and yeast by product.... lets put it on our bread

fuck it, I'm going to make some tiger bread, farkin straya carnt
>>
>>35643951
Alright, thanks

It's also nearly impossible to proofread with this thing. Bloody hell.
>>
>>35643967
thats ok we can wait we thank you for powering through the difucilty to bring us delicious quest and slang
>>
>>35643882
can anybody work the graphics whore joke in there
>>
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>fingerbang won
>>
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>>35643935
>>35643959
>implying vegemite tastes bad
>>
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After the fingerbanging she can shake our saucebottle
>>
>>35644011
Its just a shitty version of promite son.
>>
if you want to be confused by my countries awful slang, try out this thing (its not me running it) boards.4chan.org/tg/thread/3563…

Sempai Noticed you cunt
>>
>>35643816
wait a second was that what all that gamergate bullshit was about
>>
>>35644027
>not giving her the dick
>>
>>35644050
>Chuckles ButtTickler
>@PokeMangQM
>>
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>>35644027
>>
>>35644050
i think you fucked up that link
>>
>>35644055
im not sure if your retarded or a troll now
>>
>>35644079
just retarded i gave up trying to keep track of it all
>>
Gemma tries to turn around in your lap to face you, but you grab her and hold her in place.
"What're you-"
"Uh uh," you say. You pull her shirt up over her tits with her bra. You keep one hand on her tits, while you walk your other hand down, drawing circles on her skin along the way. She's squirming at your touch. You reach the waistband of her jeans. Tight, too tight to get your fingers under. You get to the buttons and undo them. There, just enough give to get into her knickers.

You push your fingers through her pubes, cupping her mound. She moans and arches her back, stretching her neck. That's an opportunity, and you start to suck and nibble on her exposed throat. Meanwhile, you work your fingers over her clit. She moans and bucks again. She's pretty wet at this point. You work your middle finger inside her, then your ring finger. She's pretty tight for a slut. Then you go at it.

Your stroke cause her to buck and squirm, making moans that are increasing in pitch and tempo in time with your fingers. You work up a frantic pace quickly, putting all your concentration into fucking her with your fingers. Your otherhand is just trying to hold her now.

(Text too long, tablets buggy, cont'd in next post)
>>
>>35644092
looking good so far
>>
>>35642922
the fuck you say you gay cunt?
>>
"Ahn, uhnnn~" She's getting close, and the wet schlicking is clearly audible at this point. Just gotta push it a little harder...
There. She screams in orgasmic pleasure, cumming all over your hand and in her shorts. Instead of letting up, you keep the pace, drawing her out as long as you can. It's only when she tries to push you out, taking deep gasps, that you finally slow and then stop. You take your fingers out and she shudders.

"Oh fuck," she says. "I think I had two. I think I just had a double. I'm gonna need a breather."
What's next?

>Blowie
>Handy
>Bend her over the bed
>Do the lap thing
>Other
>>
>>35644204
>Do the lap thing
>>
>>35644204
>Bend her over the bed
Face down, arse up
>>
>>35644204
>Bend her over the bed
Let's give her jelly legs.
>>
>>35644204
the lap thing?
>>
>>35644204
>>Bend her over the bed
>>
>>35644204
Just leave. Surfs up. Screws with her head too.
>>
>>35644233
the lap thing as mentioned here
>>35643706
>>
>>35644204
Let her have a breather
>>
>>35644204
>>Bend her over the bed.
>>
>>35644204
>>Do the lap thing
>>
>>35644204
>Get a fucking gobbie.
>>
Why does every quest I find interesting eventually turn erotic?
>>
>>35644204
>Bend her over the bed
>>
>>35643911
good luck mate, everyone will call you a prancy faggot
>>
>>35644204

Let her have a breather before bending her over the bed. We don't have the time to waste on wristies or gobbies.
>>
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>>35644265
You wanna go m8?
>>
>>35644204
>>35644239

Lets bounce, but first raid her dad's alcohol supply...

Fingering Sluzzas is good and all, but we've got lebbos to bash and goonies to steal, as is the bogan way
>>
>>35644265
i reckon that after the sex is finished it will go back to non erotic stuff
>>
>>35644265
Bogan life m8
get stitches fuck bitches
>>
>>35644204
>>Bend her over the bed
>>
>>35644310
then after fucking bitches get more stitches
>>
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>>35644265
Humans are easily sexually driven.
>>
Required
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKCmyGg3vnM
>>
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>>35644204
Commence impregnation.
>>
>>35644321
I'd rather get kegged of my nut than have sex tbh.
>>
THREAD THEME:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4AchHTN-XQ
>>
>>35644348
why not both.jpg
>>
>>35644348
You shouldnt be spiteful about sex just because you never had any.
>>
>Straya quest

oy you fucking cheeky cunts
>>
>>35644348
Nah I can see that, getting with someone who knows what they're doing and wants to please you is hard to top though.
>>
>>35644375

Fuck you, can I be spiteful about sex because I only ever had it once and it only lasted fifteen seconds?

Yeah, that shut you up, didn't it.
>>
>>35644367
nah m88

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uRz8FWPUmpI
>>
>>35644374
You have sex while surfing. Welp.

>>35644375
I have actually. Have you been pitted?

>>35644399
Different fag.
>>
>>35644420
wait i thought you were talking about getting drunk
>>
>>35644438
> I don't surf.

Thats unAustralian mate
>>
Tablet, double checking, bend her over wins? I think it wins.
>>
>>35644457
It wins m8
>>
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>>35644452
>kegged off ya nut
>not piss ass drunk
>somehow surfing

What backwards planet of Queensland are you from?
>>
>>35644402

While I agree that one's pretty good, it loses points for a) being a reasonably transparent parody of the Team America theme and thus suggesting that Australia's just a transparent copy of America, and b) not having any pictures of Tone in the politicians section.
>>
>>35644457

We still don't know if and when her parents are gonna be home, we better root and scoot this slut, then go fight some lebs.
>>
>>35644501
>implying australia isnt basically turning into america jr with some england jr thrown in too
>>
important question, do we have a condom?
>>
>>35644520
fuck that

skin to skin bro we want that ebola
>>
>>35644520
oh shit your right i vote if no condom no fuck
>>
>>35644520
>bogans
>using condoms

nah m8 we gotta get a feral litle ankle biter of our own
>>
>>35644543
i was more worried about getting her pregnant
>>
>>35644515

Look at this prick. Get some fuckin' patriotism into ya before you come spouting that shit. I'll fucken glass ya.

It's fucken unstrayan.
>>
>>35644564
I think we can afford 1 coathanger
>>
>>35644564
Fuck no we gotta get some centerlink bro.
>>
>>35644564

Baby bonus, fuck yeah.
>>
>>35644571
but abortion is wrong anon
>>
>>35644564
its a natural occurrence and socially acceptable/wanted for that event
>>
>>35644583
plus i hear pregnant shielas are wild roots
>>
>>35644520
>>35644564
>>35644560
COWARDS
>>
>>35644605
Say that after we're paying child support for that kid.
>>
>>35644605
Just blast it into her dodongo hole you twats
>>
>>35644613
>implying you can't foist it off on one of her other lays.
>>
>>35644634
then we better ask her when she took a shit last
>>
>>35644641
That's a bogan way of thinking mate...

I like it.
>>
"We're not done yet," you tell Gemma. You get up and turn her around, bending her at the waist over her bed. You roughly pull her jeans and knickers to her knees, then get your dick out. You put it in her in one smooth stroke, grunting. She is so much tighter than you thought. Fuck, why haven't you done this sooner. Gemma groans as well as you push her down into the mattress.

You fuck her quick and hard, but you at least know enough to hold back until she comes. It doesn't take too long, and soon she's screaming with her face buried in her doona. You're close yourself, and you push it to the limit, getting ready to nut off.

>Inside
>On her back
>>
>>35644613
Cunt.
wlWe drop outta School go to tafe, get us a boiley tade 'n sign up for CLNG Or ond of the Curtis Island jobs. ya fucking drop kick.
>>
>>35644653
it's not my problem, so inside
>>
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>>35644653
>>Inside

ROLL FOR IMPREGNATION, ME BOYOS
>>
>>35644653
>>Inside
>>
>>35644653
>Inside
What are you some kinda faggot spraying cum up your boyfriend's back?
>>
>>35644653

>On her back

If we're gonna have a kid it ain't gonna be with this slut.
>>
>>35644653
>on yourself
>>
>>35644653
inside

inside

morning after pill we can force her to get it
>>
>>35644672
Fuck off cunt where do you thing you are
>>
>>35644653
>slip it in her butt at the last minute cum there
>>
>>35644653
in the butt.
>>
>>35644653
>>Inside
>>
>>35644653
IN THE BUTT INSTEAD LAST SECOND
>>
>>35644653
butt
>>
>>35644653
>inside her ass
Nut in 'er Pucker.
>>
>>35644653
stick it in the pooper
>>
anal as we nut
>>
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>>35644653
>inside

It's the only option. She might get royally pissed, but damn it, we do this thing RIGHT.
>>
>>35644653
>Cum in that ass
>>
>>35644653
>Inside
>>
>>35644402
>>35644501
I'm pretty sure it should be this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qA8gJoT5yl4
>>
>>35644653

In her butt
>>
>>35644653
>On her back
>>
>>35644653
>Inside
>The Butt
>>
>>35644672
i said on back just because cum covered woman are my fetish
>>
>>35644653
>>Inside
God wills it.
>>
>>35644653
>Inside
>implying other options exist after that A+ fingerbang
>>
>>35644770
What are you a poofta?
Bet you like eating your own cum as well.
>>
>>35644653
>On her back
>>
Rolled 81 (1d100)

>>35644664
Rolling.
>>
>>35644653
Back
>>
>>35644653
>>Inside
Fill 'er up, lads.
>>
You come inside her with one last thrust, causing her to scream at the force of it, interrupting her post-orgasmic high. You pull out, and your mixed juices drip down her leg.

"Ah fuck," you say. "I didn't use a rubber."
"Don't worry bout it," she replies. "I got pills. Oh fuck that was a ride. Why didn't I think of screwing you sooner?"
"I thought you had a boyfriend up until now?"
"I broke up with him a week ago, it was nothing."

"What's the time?" you ask.
She's still bent over the matress, and tries reaching for the pocket of her jeans. "Get me phone from my pocket will ya?"
You reach in and turn it on. It's about three in the arvo at this point, and school probably just got out.
"I think it's about time I got home," you say, pulling up your pants.
"Give us a smoke before you go? I need one." You reach into your hoodie pocket and pull out the pack, passing her one. "Cheers," she says.
You give her a smack on the bum as you leave.
"Do this again sometime?" She asks.
"Yeah, sure," you yell back as you let yourself out.

This shitty day wasn't as shit as you thought it would be.
>>
>>35644801
the end?
>>
>>35644820
Nah, let's go rape a koala.
>>
Oh did in the butt win? I started writing before it did. Sorry. Worked out though.

Anyway, I think dinner'll be ready soon. I can pick up afterwards if you all want? Or we can end it here.
>>
>>35644825
its not over until we kill some emus mate
>>
>>35644825
what if we switched to gemma? turns out she ran out of pills
>>
>>35644825
No wait we're already in autosage. Huh, first thread of mine that's done that.

Well I can make a new thread when I get back?
>>
>>35644822
Then box a kangaroo
>>
>>35644825
This better not end before we get into a fight with a kangaroo and try to feed a koala
>>
>>35644838
>>35644840
yea, let's do this.
>>
>>35644825
u wot m8? we still gotta fight Irradiated spiders. Emus & the abbot
>>
>>35644840
sure but lets>>35644838
wanna play as gemma, usin our mutt to control mad cuntz
>>
Required listening ITT
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfR9iY5y94s
>>
>>35644840
yeah call this the end up part 1 make part 2 next this will end up being a many chapter thing
>>
>>35644840
do it cunt
>>
>>35644902
>>35644840
yes, do it. cunt wills it.
>>
>QM is FG

No wonder the trip cancer suddenly appeared.
>>
Oi someone archive this then, shit's impossible on a tablet
>>
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>>35644840
Fhakeing cunt I'll do ya in.
>>
>>35644915
Who is this Fg that you speak of?
>>
>>35644840
do it cunt

>Straya quest
>Not one mention of fucking Straya https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAgnJDJN4VA

fucking trash I beat you vote greens
>>
>>35644918
will do cunt
>>
>>35644926
Fall Guy. Ran ODST quest. Good quest, just had an unfortunately low player count with usually half of them being tripfags.
>>
>>35644942
Shit, nevermind. I got my QMs mixed up.
>>
>>35644942
Fall Guy doesn't run ODSTq mate

that's Feet_First or FF
>>
>>35644933
its done
>>
>>35644962
Yeah, I didn't notice until too late. What happens when you stay up til 3.
>>
>>35644969
THen post it you pussy-dog.
>>
>>35644993
ok
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/35639906/
>>
Oi, cunt, it's only quarter-nine what's the hold up?
>>
>>35645227
He had to go fight off a drop bear being ridden by a spider.
>>
>>35645247
he should know better than to go out after sundown. daylight savings doesn't extend this far out.
>>
>>35645247
So what kind of poof gets held up by that.
>>
>>35645264
He couldn't stay inside, he had to go mobile he switched to tablet.
>>
New thread? We're still on page 6.
>>
>>35645280
fuck yeah
>>
>>35645291
Fuck yeah new thread or fuck yeah I'm back?
>>
>>35645314
FUCK YEAH!
>>
>>35645314
Yes.
>>
>>35645314
new thread mate
>>
>>35645314
still got a couple hours left on this one. depends on how long you'll run.
>>
>>35645513

Newie



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