>Be 14, watching 11 y/o brother face a 40 year old man in WH40K at FLGS>Brother moves his first unit and measures shooting to enemy unit in range>Brother realizes he was supposed to not do that until all movement is done and asks to take it back so he can move his other guys>40 year old man goes full autism and chews him out because the rules>Whole store gets to watch the spectacle of a 40 year old arguing rules with a boy in grade 6>Took me 4 years to set foot in a game store again
>>35821782>40>still playing 40k
>>35821829Again... >autismHe played orks and always mispronounced waaaagh as warrrrrgh
>Be 40, playing 40k in lgs against some brat while his brother watches>brat moves his first unit and measures shooting to enemy unit in range>knows he broke the rules and tries to take it back when I call him on it>I calmly explain the rules to him and say that take-backs aren't allowed>Whole store watching on with approval as I deal with the situation maturely without pandering to some spoilt kid's immature sense of entitlement>Brat's brother doesn't show up for another 4 years
>Be whole store, humans inside doing human things>Humans do more human things>One of the smaller humans says something>One of the larger humans says something in response>Other humans perceive interaction>It's 4 years before the smaller human's companion comes back inside me
>late 90s>LGS opens up>always played MTG with my friend, casual as fuck, but we decide to play against some people there>30 somethings year old manchild looks through my deck, laughs>"oh, this is terrible. awful. do you even play, kid? here... i'll give you my deck">get fucking rekt>"HAHAHA, FUCKED UP KID, YOU FUCKED UP BIG TIME HAHAHAHAA. YOU SHOULD JUST GO HOME.">too baffled to have any reaction other than "wtf">suddenly the store gets a call>old asian dude tells the manchild its his mom>"ALRIGHT MOM, ILL BE HOME FOR DINNER. LEAVE ME ALONE. IM 33 YEARS OLD JESUS CHRIST.">grabs his stuff and storms out>old asian man gives me a holographic land card as a way of apologizingShit was crazy.Guy was straight fedora autist manchild, but back then we didn't have that label but holy shit.
>>35821782I believe your story to be entirely fabricated, at the very least a huge exaggeration.Why the fuck would you let your 11 year old brother play 40k against a 40 y/o complete stranger? Sounds like everyone involved was a fucking retard. If it wasn't total bullshit.
>>35821957My sides are in the Oort Cloud
>>35822143Kids play against 40 year old dudes all the time at my flgs.Thanks to internet tactica they usually shit stomp them too.>>35822044That's hilarious.
>>35822143It was a FLGS, lots of young kids played there because it was generally not one of those places where parents were afraid of letting their kids hang out, the owner was a chill guy and really good at keeping the environment kid-friendly (of course the occasional douche managed to slip through the cracks)
>At LGS>Some 20ish looking guy comes in, sets up a chessboard.>Doesn't interact with anyone, fairly sure he's talking to himself.>Head over to him, ask if he'd like to play a game.>Actually have to ask twice, he either didn't hear me or didn't notice me the first time>Puts on a blindfold, insists that I call out my moves.>Seems to know where all of his pieces are without looking, moves very quickly and precisely.>I get beaten pretty badly.> Takes off the blindfold, re-sets the board, and starts re-playing the game, stopping every few moves and rattling off (and for once no longer talking to himself) possible variations with a numerical score at the end.Not so much a that guy, but I think I ran into a literal autist.
>>35821855>plays orks but says "warrrrrrrrgh"That's not autism, that's just plain stupid.
>>35822263You ran into fucking Rain Man.
>>35822263Rainman is technically an autist, yes.
>>35822191>>35822198I've never seen an 11 year old kid playing anything at the local GW or flgs. I've seen a few 15 year olds playing each other over the years. Never once a child vs a grown man.
>>35822489>Implying your experience is representative of how every store works
>>35822335I've seen that a few times.
>>35822489It's honestly not that uncommon.
>>35822143Lemme give you a templateat lgsbe (me/little kid/some innocent noob)play against (pick three : fat, old, bald, greasy, smelly, dirty, autistic) manchild1st side do small mistakemanchild throws shitfits (explain it all in detail)whole store watchessomething embarassing happens to manchild (explain it in detail)we all laughthe end
>at metal league gathering tournament>50 decks in>old man denies my triple playback combo>get upset, pull out the rule book>no mention of the old man>look up>he's gone>racked up an impressive tab on embargo services>chinese man walks up and offers me a cigar>reject his advances>he's actually the president of the club>tells me he can get me out of my debt>hands me a letter opener>throw it at the invisible old man>he dies, blood on the table>slickens the board, flips his sawdust beacon over>it's purple>mfw purple sawdust beacon
>>35827537>50 decks in>purple sawdust beaconThere's no way this actually happened.
>>35827759okay you got me it was more like a bluish magenta, but that sweep was still blanket as bones
>>35821829Yeah, fuck hobbies, am I right?
>>35822044Just think, he would be in his 50's now/soon. I wonder where he is now
>be at GW>looking for a match>one guy constantly using "strategy" and "tactics" buzzwords>know that 40k is heavily luck based, with list building being just about the only skill requiring element>challenge him to a game>tells me he only plays against people he has declared "competent commanders"
>be a history major (postgraduate)>at a GW>know little about Warhammer Fantasy, but know a little lore>get into a discussion with a fantasy player about the Empire>mention that I like how they are based off the Holy Roman Empire>tells me Empire are Germans>explain to him that the German Empire and HRE are not the same thing, draw parallels between things like Empire's elective monarchy and that of the HRE's>he gets angry and keeps insisting they are German before complaining to the store manager who then promptly tells me not to cause trouble in his storeThanks Gee Dubs.
>>35822263My little cousin has autism and is blind.She is the cutest little lady, and awesome in many ways, but she used to scare the shit out of me sometimes. She could predict any day of any year when she was 4 She said my 84 birthday would be on sunday, and we looked the calendar and she was right , can remember and play music that she heard once in perfection and some other little things.
>>35828005I'm not saying you weren't right, but you still had some 'Guy in you, in that situation.
>>35828092>implying she isn't a blind seer
>>35828092how old is sheis she singleasl
>>35828119Have some respect.
>>35828121i'll respect dat peanut butter ass when i got some jam, if you know what i'm sayin
>>35828121Where do you think we are?
>>35828121>asking how old she is before saying he wants to fuck her>not showing respectI don't understand, anon
>>35828111She is, sometimes. Shit is scary. There was a time she told how many change i had because of the sound the coins made when they hit the ground.>>35828119I almost shot a man that molested her. Not a funny subject to me, with all due respect. She is 14 now, if you do need to know.
>>35828149so you're saying you're okay with me giving her the D?
>>35828149>She is 14 nowPerfect,
>>35828149you know what they say, fourteen years old, more keen fears told
>>35828160>>35828161Sounds like a threesome to me.
>>35821957>Be 4 years>Find whole store by walking randomly>See small human and smaller human getting out of the store>Come to them and spend myself>The small human gets right back inside after me
>>35828149That's terrible, I am sorry to hear that. You sound like a great cousin.
>>35828160No, i'm not. But fuck, this is 4chan. I'm not getting butthurt over shit on the internet.I would probably say the same thing for lulz.
>>35828186cmon mang be a bro.
>>35822489There's a 16 year old (admittedly, that's way older than 11, but whatev) that regularly beat the shit out of the regular of my LGS. There must be like 3 guys who can beat her.
>>35827471Alright, I'll try.>at lgs>be me>play against old bald autistic manchild>decide to play a technomancer in SR4>manchild throws shitfits, says I'll be the first target because technomancer are weakos>whole store watches>something embarassing happens to manchild: he decides to play mage>we all laugh>the endShit it works.
>>35821855>He played orks and always mispronounced waaaagh as warrrrrghIn the earliest editions of the game, that's how it was spelled/pronounced, with an R in it.
>>35827471>at lgs>be homo neanderthalus>play against greasy, smelly, dirty manchild>throw fish bones instead of chicken bones>manchild throws shitfits, says "fish bones not good for play">whole cavern watches>manchild attracts sabretooth tiger by raging, get eaten>we all laugh, then kill the sabretooth tiger and eat him>the end
>>35828149I have an odd compulsion to tell you that your sister _will_ appear in my post-apo campaign, because she's incredible.
>>35828149>I almost shot a man that molested herAww man I don't wanna mess with you you sound well fucking hard mate
>>35828280>you you sound well fucking hard mateAfter all this talk of psychic loli, I am too
>>35828266She is my cousin, not my sis.An autistic blind seer?I'm honored.Just make her parents assholes that reject her and you got it to the spot.
>>35828302>Just make her parents assholes that reject her and you got it to the spot
>>35828242>at local game parthenon>be glorious athenian aristocrat>play against greasy, smelly, dirty Persian>make love to young boys instead of women>Persian throws shitfit, says "women are better">whole polis watches>Persian attracts a group of Spartans>we all lough, then continue to make love to young boys while writing poetry>the end
>>35828302original topic, this thread is now about psychic loli austistsomebody get a drawfag on this stat
>>35828302Perfect. This is just the right amount of bleakness I'm searching for.Though it does mean, knowing the players I'll have, that the parents are going to go through something very unpleasant as a punishment.
>>35828337i dont think these pictures are going to be allowed on this board
>>35828337/tg/ didn't get where it was by staying on topic.Loli seer can actually go all River Tam 'n shit on people, but doesn't because she can see how that hurts the people who love them, even though they're evil. obviously, she was meant to be a Paladin because that's what her parents were, but they neglected her because they are more "lawful" and she's more "good". So they took care of her basic needs as they were obligated to, but there was no love there
>>35828374this reminds me, how come there's no Prosecutor General of Crimea anime yet?
>>35828406i'd fuck the sight right back into those eyesockets.
>>35828389I . . . don't know. There IS a music video.
>>35828302>Just make her parents assholes that reject her and you got it to the spot.Oh jeezIs she just too much work for them to deal with?Is she not cute or something?
>>35828431>Is she not cute or something?I get where you're coming from, but I don't think parents should care for their child only if they're cute.
>>35828374>her parents> lawfull> paladins Her father is a fucking greedy angry bastard and her mother is a whore.The first thing he did with the suposed molester (her mother's husband) was to sue her to take back child support. Her mother cheated on my uncle with her now-husband and chain smoked when she was prego. That's why she's blind.
>>35828406>They drew a little eye on her forehead.
>>35828450It probably makes it easier though.
>>35828457Turn it into a television show.She can solve crimes or something.Magical crimes.
>>35828503>MAHOU BLINDERU COUSING INVESTIGATE!10/10, would watch.
>>35828457>chain smoked when she was prego. That's why she's blind.On the plus side, it also gave her super powers.You should team up with her and go on crime solving adventures.
>>35828503>>35828521>>35828526Mahou blinderu cousing could have an transformation sequence with a blindfold.Imagine daredevil meets mahou shoujo.
>>35821855...for fucks sake, that's what 'waagh' IS, you twat. It's "WAR!" with a cockney accent. While, sure, he might sort of be mispronouncing it, he's not really wrong either. It's pronunciation is more like 'WAAAAAAAAOGH' than 'WAAAAAAAAH'.
>>35828496That it does.
>>35821782>Be 14, watching 11 y/o brother in WH40K at FLGSyou are the cancer
Am i the only one who gets Toph Beifong's vibes out of the blind seer loli cousin ?
>>35821829>having a hobby at any age>wrong somehow
>>35828881I'm more feeling a kind of Pythie feel. Not the one in 300, the real one.
>>35828932Oh this isn't an FLGS thread at all. Disregard
>>35828881She's more like the "hard to aproach shut-in with strange mind and obsessions".She used to have some anger issues, but is way more chill now. When she was 12, i turned off her radio when she was listening, she threw a pen at me right at my eye. Thank god i use glasses. Took he whole album to calm her down. Six degrees of inner turbulence. She fucking loves Dream theater.
>>35828932>walk into random store with comics in it>look towards the register>motherfucking dice>browe the shops>regular comics>superhero comics (almost not edited in my country a few years ago)>all kind of systems for RPGs>wargames figurines and rulebooks>tabletop games>random geekeries>feel like a child at the candy store>mfw it's the kind of shops you see in 1 mall on 3I feel like /tg/-related hobbies are getting a second breath.
>>35828983>She fucking loves Dream theater.Keep it going, this is a gold mine. What does she like to eat?
>>35828983>She used to have some anger issuesYeah, that's extremely common in autistic people of all ages, though socialization helps a lot. I'm glad to hear she's better able to handle stress now.Out of curiosity, with whom does she primarily socialize? You? I hope that's not too personal a question.
>>35822263>mfw your autistic.>mfw you'll never be a savant. >mfw you still like to sperg about stuff you're super into and probably look like an idiot. >mfw I have no face.
>>35828983>be blind>threw a pen aiming for the eye>hitsSo now this is a blind seer sharpshooter loli ?
>>35829055She might not have been aiming
>>35829046You and me both, buddy. I'm lucky enough to have it pretty mild, though, so it's not that big a deal. I don't think most people notice most of the time. Not that I would necessarily be able to tell if they did.
>>35829069let me dream
>>35829016Sweet rice. A brazilian desert. Cooked rice with cinamon and milk cream.>>35829026She has some friends at special school, i think one has a crush on her, but she is totally asexual. She loves her piano teacher too, she is a nice old lady. She says she is smelly but doesn't mind.>>35829055Don't know. She never threw much at me.
>>35829069bullshit she's got fucking 5 blind fighting feats and maxed throwing proficiency, she's fucking neo at the end of revolutions, she's lee sin at 20 minutes with 200 farm and 10/0/5, she's a blind nigga samurai with nat 20 luck rolls
>>35828984>superhero comics (almost not edited in my country a few years ago)>mfw it's the kind of shops you see in 1 mall on 3W... what?
>>35829046>mfw your autistic.What about my autistic?
>>35829123Some years ago, superhero comics were a rather uncommon sight in my country. Then, Avengers and the MCU happened, along with some other stuff that took more underground hobbies back to light; hence, now, in a bout one mall on three, there's a shop that sells general /tg/ and /co/ stuff and specializes in it. The name's Album, if you're looking for the name of the shops.
>>35829082>she is totally asexualI mean...how do you know?I don't generally talk about girls much, just cause I have weird hangups about sexuality, but that doesn't mean I don't jack off daily.Plus she's 14, right? Kinda young to be saying she's totally asexual.
>>35828149>>35828092That's cute man. Give her a hug for all of us.
>>35829146What country, anon?I always think it's neato how wide 4chan's userbase is.
>>35829055>blind seer sharpshooter loli>always have a radio with Dream Theater playing>fond of rice-based meals>plays the pianoGod damn I can FEEL the melancholy. This is taken straight out of a visual novel.
>>35829152Yes. Please do. If she likes hugs, that is.
>>35829132Yes, that bothered me, too. Of course, that may be because I, too am autistic.
>>35829160France. And yeah, 4chan's userbase is pretty wide, though I'd say it's at least half american (which, considering the size of the USA, is understandable).
>>35829132well, I'm definitely not a savant in grammar in case anyone is wondering.
>>35829163If she doesn't, just gift her some sweet rice, that should do it.
>>35829151I talk to her like a normal girl. She knows what sex is and think it as some kind of dumb and alien ritual. Now more than ever after the whole "might have been molested thing">>35829152Will do.>>35829162She's actually pretty cheerful.>>35829160Brazil.
>>35829189Hell, i was asexual too at 14. Not that I swim in girls now, but heh. Most people don't give two cents about sex at that age.
>>35829189I'm curious: how is the support for children with special needs like autism and blindness in Brazil? Also, are you in a city or the country? I imagine that could make a big difference. It does in my country.
>>35829172What town are you from?I live in Toulouse and there is a lot of /co/ or downright /tg/ shops if you know where to look.Also we have communities pretty open to the public.
>>35821782>Playing in a whf tournament with beastmen vs imperium>The opponent could be my father>He insists that he could use the mighty imperial steam tank ,when its only 1500 points i said no.> All the LGS agrees with me ,the owner who is friend with my opponent agrees with him.>Hes his fucking tank rekt by my beastmen >Using shadow magic i get to cc with all his army (imagine cannons , arquebusiers ,etc..)>Them the owner of the LGS calls that these tournament have maximun turns per battle (the rules of the tournament doesnt say so and others battles hadnt).>He lost by 140 points in diference just the moment i got close with my army.>the owner declares the only tie of the tournament colsuting the objetives rules instead of the map rules.>The opponent refuses to shake hands.Imperial bastards
>>35829170>implying everyone on 4chan isn't autistic>implying implications
>>35829227I'm from Paris's banlieue (how do we say that in English again ?), but currently I live in Evry for studies reason. And yeah, I agree that "geek" is far from meaning "sectarian" in here.
>>35829189Oh. Well. Cheerful blind seer sharpshooter it is then.
>>35829207I was way too fucking horny at my teens. Might explain the weird porn and 4chan.>>35829218It's actually good. Special kids teachers are often carefree and nice people, but i think thats a worldwide thing. There are a bunch of help groups for both kids and parents and some free comunity clubs that work well with special people and the like.
>>35829247>I was way too fucking horny at my teens. Might explain the weird porn and 4chan."was"? Lucky you. I finished puberty a while ago, and I'm still horny as fuck.
>>35829227>>35829172> tfw I can now buy Warhammer at the Cultura near BordeauxFeels weird
>>35829248Ok, i'm still a fucking degenerate.But now i like vanilla too.
>>35829239Banlieue is suburbs I think.Maybe you can't spend a lot of time in the town because travel time and studies but Paris is fuckhuge. I'm sure tere is at least a whole sector worth of nerdy shops.Check for student associations if you're at uni, they're fun to hang with even if you already have a group, even to just play some board games or learn about the university's trollball team.
>>35829276Check Starplayer (http://www.starplayer.fr/), it's situated in the nerdy shops sector of paris
>>35829239banlieue = suburb
>>35829253>tfw mangas, figurines, dolls and even dakis aren't that rare anymore>tfw when I say "so do you guys know what's a tabletop RPG ?", people actually answer "oh yeah, I had a few tables">and also, tfw girlsI mean, 3 years ago, there were 5 girls, top, in my school. Now they're 10% of the students, with 20% in my year alone. It's a computer science school.Why do you think things changed so fast? I blame Naheulbeuk for the rise of /tg/-related stuff, and France's natural no-fucks-given way of doing things for the democratization of geeky hobbies. But then again, that's my uninformed point of view.
>>35829055MARY SUE ALERT
>>35829298There's several things. Mangas are very popular now, the rise of superhero movies like Batman that led to a rise of american comics being sold.Once those two happened, and seeing as video games are now more popular than ever, it was only a matter of time until tabletop roleplaying came backIt's pretty okay to be a nerd in France, whatever Mar_lard can say
>Mfw my LGS is so bro-tier that I don't have any That a Guy stories to share
>>35829276I don't know if you know the ENSIIE, but they're kinda big on the whole associatons thing, and I'm already in all of the ones that interested me. And man, are they good associations. The manga club actually asked the administration for the right to use the amphi's projector to watch animes every monday night - and they got it. Monday night is proj night. Also friday night is board games night, wednesday night is /tg/ night, and sunday morning is LARP training, though I don't think they play trollball... yet.Also I used to hang in Paris a lot, and let's just say that the last bar before the end of the world used to be me and my friends' hang-out place. It's expensive as fuck, but you just can't beat the place when it comes to coziness and ambiance. Oh, and you should totally come to the GNiales. As the name implies, it's France's annual LARP meeting. Few people come, but they all know their shit about LARPs.
>>35829316It's not a mary sue if it's a representation of reality.
>>35829325Also conventions. I think they played a role. I mean the Geek Faeries are pretty much the reason I became that of a nerd (that, and GURPS, but GURPS came thanks to the Geek Faeries, so y'know).>mfw we actually crowdfunded a conventionI still didn't get over this priceless "FUCK YOU" we collectively gave the dudes that wanted to discriminate against us.
>>35829294Oh hey, thanks ! I know where I'll go if I ever get some time back on my schedule.
To all the french bros in this thread (damn we're a lot more than I thought), just throwing that out : monthly Vampire LARP. http://www.societedelarose.com/
>>35828633Found the 40 year old guys
>>35829372> ParisAs geek-friendly as France is, I got to admit pretty much everything happens only in the capital city. Just like politics and cultural life.
>>35829486Hey that's not true ! LARPs can't happen in it, because there aren't any good locations.
>>35829298I started with naheulbeukAnd here I am DMing traveller and hanging with LARPers
>>35829329I don't know ENSIIE but I can tell you're doing it right.I'm kinda stuck in my town but there is already a lot to do here.TGS is coming soon. Just a shame the winter edition is as much japanese as the japanese edition but oh well.
>>35822143>Why the fuck would you let your 11 year old brother play 40k?Indeed, OP. Why would you, you human piece of garbage?
>>35829560>doing it rightWell I do have more things to do than time to do them. Seriously, I never suspected cooking for 300 persons would take the whole day.>>35829539I know, right. It's a slippery slope.
>>35828161A friend of mine used to say:>If her age is on the clock, she's too young to see the cock.I lol'd, but my limit is adult lolis.
>>35829666The saying near me is>If her age is on the clock, you can be sure that she won't talkThey're counting in actual hours when talking about the age.
>>35829666fuck you satan I do what I want
>>35829694How did you know i was satan? Fuck you, humanfags.Also, tap that loli ass and i will see you in a couple of weeks. Unless it's an angel loli. Then the old dude upstairs is ok with it.
>>35828983how the balls did she get you in the fucking eye. is she like tophor something. i think shes real life toph beifong.
>>35829151my ex gf was totally asexual.do not question why they are asexualalso she almost got molested you think she'll want people to go do stuff to her?
>>35829207well nowadays everyone be having sex at 11except me*sings forever alone*
>>35829238>implying implicating implications
>>35829737I was talking to her and she knows where everything on her room. Also, i just turned her radio off, she knew where i was and my height. She must have calculated it on her mind.>>35829752I think it's something like this.Also, it must be fucking horrible. She can't see what others are doing and can't quite comunicate or understand people.
>>35829239Hey I go to that store sometime. I don't buy that many comic book now that I don't have much room but I still buy Netrunner there.Cool place.
>>35827981D-did you get declared a competent commander eventually? Was it a lot of work?
>>35829763I've been on /d/ since I was underage.Now I continue to save loads of porn but I don't actually fap to it and I don't get boners.I like watching it though.I like to cuddle with friends but I don't feel compelled to actually have sex.
>>35829829so you save porn but you dont fapyou cuddle with friends and dont get bonersteach me master
>>35829239In Évry ? Which school/uni ?
>>35829862This is a path uou must walk alone, young anon.He is in another level. He masturbated to kinky shit that are beyond humanity.He is the ultimate masturbator, schlong wriggler, the boner angel, the hardon master.He is... the jackless.
>>35829912i just found a godim starting a cult based on himALL HAIL THE JACKLESS*totally not lorgar*
>>35829862I just think I broke my sex drive by looking at too much kinky shit too soon.Don't feel bad about it because I can't regret what I never experienced.Normies told me I can't be asexual because I watch porn regularly.
>>35828149Mate you might want to check out Dresden Files if you haven't already. There is a character that is quite like your cousin named the archive.
>>35829934"Thou that dwell in darkness shall be unaffected.""Trough masturbation, redemption""I have no boner nor desire, for the jackless is my lord and i shall always protect and guard the porn."
>>35828005Have to agree with >>35828110You should police yourself next time.
>>35829950time to masturbate 420 times in a row>>35829974OKAY YOURE NOW MY KOR PHAERONLET US SPREAD THE GOOD WORD OF THE JACKLESS
>>35829107Lost it at blind nigga samurai
>>35829999"Fap until your balls are dry, for that shall clear your mind""Work the shaft before you can hold the jackless staff."Captcha:semon endsgodMoot aproves the jackless
>mfw my dysfunctionment inspires cultGod damnit tg
>>35830069PRAISE THE JACKLESS>first day after 2 months on /tg/>starts a cultcaptcha : lanenks again
>>35827965I wish someone would make dinner for me in my 50s
>>35830069All hail the jackless, the undesiring, the guardian of porn, wielder of lewds and eternal loli protector!Fear not the masturbator heretics and the vanilla watchers, for the true nature of porn shall set them free!
>>35830175all hail the jacklessthe jackless is the true godno one can stand against his holy might
>>35829107her papi got his head lopped off by a wierdo with a 3rd arm? Thats so fucking metal.
>>35829248I would kill to have a sex drive again anon
From Flgs that guys, to blind seers lolis and french gaming to a god of porn redemption.Never change, /tg/
>>35830233as you wish anon
>>35830230The jackless demands a sacrifice of blood! Kill the vanilla heretics! Kill for they watch ungodly porn!
>>35830269It shall be so herald of the jackless one, I go forth in his name so that I may one day accept my pitiful condition.
>>35830297Share your lewds with the infidels, oh faithfull one. It shall speed their redemption.For thy shall become jackless, and jackless you shall be.For thy masturbation is a dark path thou must walk alone in search for the clean mind.
>>35829899ENSIIE. The name is Darklim.
>>35829666And this in the age of digital 24h clocks.
>>35830230I... sadly can't help you, I have no idea how to get a sex drive. Neither on how to lose it. Those things can't be controlled by a feeble mind, you'll need either remote occult hypnotism or high-grade brain surgery.
>>35830354I have a pocket watch It's a tradition that a father gives a watch when he becomes an adult.
>>35830233"So, a french gamer, a blind seer loli, a god of porn redemtion and that guy walk into a FLGS. They play M:tG."... This actually sounds like an average party of adventurers.
>>35830389The child*I fucked that up.
>>35830393Actually the jackless is one of the french guys
>>35830381I need balls that aren't plastic is what I need>>35830336Cult of the jackless is totally going in my next DH game
>>35830411Shit where does he live, I need to present him to a girl that is very much into /tg/ and also asexual. I want to see what happens.
>>35830446Consume hormons, acquire manliness and sex drive.
>>35830353I should have guessed...
>>35830447The toulouse guy from higher, he's gone to eat a late lunch
>>35830447he lives in france>>35830446lets turn this into a thing. FOR THE CULT OF THE JACKLESS
>>35830471And who might you be ? Someone from here I suppose.
>>35830230Work out -> higher testosterone -> sex drive
>>35830472Ah, too bad.
>>35830501 higher testosterone -> small ballsFTFY
>>35830510oh he's probably gonna get back herehe got ramens for days
>>35830513Would you rather have big meaty testicles, or a sex drive?
>>35830475FOR HE WHO DOES NOT LUST. VIRGINS FOR THE PURITY GOD.>>35830468>>35830501Hormone treatment never really did anything for me and I do work out.>>35830513what if I my balls are fake?
>>35830545DEATH TO SLAANESH BURN THE GOD OF PLEASURE TO THE GROUND AND WIPE HIS STENCH OFF THE FACE OF THE GALAXYby using abstinence
>>35830561ABSTINENCE IS THE ONLY WAY TO REDEMPTION.ABSTINENCE FOR THE ABSTIENCE GODVIRGINS FOR THE VIRGIN THRONElandwhales not allowed
>>35830545The jackless sits around his throne room filled with virgin beauties having the galaxy's biggest tea party they are of course attended by his loli daemons.
>>35828983>>35829737>>35829055>>35829795was her aim at your eye.... blind luck?
>>35830587and his queen is the blind loli seer sniper girl
>>35830587>>35830605The Jackless and Blind Seer confirmed characters of Merlin Township.
>>35830529Jackless here (I guess) and fuck you it wasn't ramen.Gonna take skype adresses from there email@example.com
>>35830704ah thanks for the info
>>35828005That store manager is a twat who has never picked up a decent history book, had he been worth anything, he would have known you were right and shut the little fuckhead down.
>>35830601I think not, as strange it might look.She has a ton of dex. And has recieved the jackless blessing. Praise jackless.
>Brother nils were you followed?>Nay sister I was not >Good nils very good did you bring it?>Indeed sister here.>Well done brother, >The scantily clad women turns to the congregation>BROTHERS, SISTERS OUR BROTHER NILS HAS DONE IT NOW WE MAY BEGIN THE RITUAL!>She pops open the box nils gave her and removes a smaller black box which she then takes up to the junky looking vid player at the front of the room,>She insterts the box into a larger box sitting on the ancient vid player and hits a button>She quickly whirls around and addresses the audience >AND WITH THIS IS OUR TASK HAS BEGUN GIVEN TO US BY HE WHO DOES NOT LUST TO TEST OUR WILL AND DEVOTION BEHOLD BACK DOOR SLUTS 9!outside the cultist hideout a lone Inquistorial acolyte speaks into a portable radio>What did you say the cultists were doing?>Sir it appears they are all sitting around....watching pornagraphy.>And summoning a demon right?>No sir just...sitting there...watching porn.>Dammit just come back to base, whats the point of being an Inquistor if all the cultists you find now adays just sit around and watch porn.and so chaos united was slowly replaced by the followers of the all mighty jackless, the imperium never knew what hit it.
>In a local LGS>Looking around their selection of game splats>Pick up a copy of 5th ed and take a seat in the lounging area to see what all the fuss is about>After 20 minutes, an employee walks over and asks if I need help with anything>Ask if they have any of the new shadowrun books in>Employee says they don't but they should have a shipment in a month and apologizes. >They walk off to assist another shopperCan you fucking believe the fucking gall of that shitter? How dare they bother me about stupid shit while I'm obviously reading something! I had to leave the store and haven't been back since because of the intense shame I felt from all the staring. They were all staring! Fucking assholes! I can't wait for a good lgs to open around here!
>>35830822Fucking 10/10 post.
>>35829666General rule of thumb is, half your age + 7, as the "appropriate minimum" for your own age.
>>35830977bullshit under 14 you could only fuck older people?your math is bronken
>>35830977Half my age + 7... So if I'm 12, that makes...... Hold on, I think there's a flaw in your system.
>>35822191>Thanks to internet tactica they usually stomp themIn my limited experience this is true. I've seen old farts who just aren't that good. It's fine to just play fluffy, but there are those who claim to know everything yet really don't. Hell I was listening to the Grim Dark Podcast the other day and at the very begging the guys were talking about how Dreadnoughts were totally better than Dreadknights.
>>35831010>Dreadnoughts were totally better than Dreadknights.The price is certainly more attractive...
>>35831008No, the system works as intended as a self-reporting mechanism for foolish samurai underage B&.
>>35831002>>35831008Under 14, is the whole "should not have sex" thing. I mean.. for real... if you are under 14 you really should not be having sex.
>>35828933>not screenshotting in PNG
>>35831028Are there any 12 year old on 4chan? I mean we're past the belly button then go to bread era, aren't we?
>>35831042Why? People mature at different rate and different time of their life. My 12 year old cousin is already hitting puberty, while her younger sister by 1 year is still a child.
>>35831075There must be a bunch of 12yo lurking on /b/.
>>35831084Yeah but it's /b/.
>>35829829>>35831075The jackless was underage
>>35831105I really don't think 12 yo kids would like 4chan.The whole anon thing is really against the self centered mind of most kids these days, and our kind of humor is a little too... too idiot for a kid?
>>35831002>>35831008If you're under 14, you fall outside the partner's minimum age limit.Result: no nookie until you're 14, and then only with people your own age.
>>35831160... I...SHIT SOMEONE CALL WIZARDS OF THE COAST WE FOUND A SYSTEM THAT WORKS
>>35831082Mostly health risks. Social taboo with the whole "cradle robbers" and then also legal troubles such as age of consent, ethical issues and all that jazz. Also neat fact in general most women prefer older guys, while guys like younger women. For "maximum age" it's: (your age - 7) times 2.So for a 21 year old guy it would be:Min Age = (21/2)+7 = 17.5Max Age = (21 - 7)*2 = 28>>35831160Yup, yup, yup.
>>35831137>The whole anon thing is really against the self centered mind of most kids these daysHEY. I wasn't self centered when I was a kid. All the bullying might have something to do with it though.
>>35831082Yeah, but the fact you want to bang your cousin doesn't necessarily mean that she is emotionally mature enough for that sort of thing.
>>35831196That's why you where an anon-egg.But we are the guys that giggle when someone says anal pleasure in a serious tone on a bio-class.Face it, we have a silly sense of humor most people would find retard/autistic/disgusting.
>>35830862You're an autist and a twat.
>>35829752can you fuck off. you're borderline illiterate and i keep seeing your posts on my favourite boards.
>>35831269I don't giggle when I hear anal pleasure.I control myself to not burst, sure, but I don't giggle.
>be playing DnD>one member rolls up a warlock due to lack of casters>half-dragon kobold barbarian starts making fun of the warlock class, says the player made a bad choice and should remake his character>wat>first combat we have, Warlock crits with an arcane bolt, one-shots an at-level creature>we all turn to the barbarian player. DM laughs and jokes about warlocks being op>rest of the session, barbarian acts like a bitchI mean, this is the same guy that wants the entire party to play tier 1 classes, and only tier 1 classes. His tips for character creation are 'follow a treantmonk guide', or the infamous 'play a wizard.'
>>35831294Ok, but imagine if your grandma woke you up agitated and only said satan's horse pussy!. You would wake up, chuckle a little and post it here. It's somehow part of our colective mind. A sillyness that lives inside us, and a taste for stupid shit.
>>35831192Fuck social taboo, as far as I'm concerned, if a 16 year old and a 14 year old want to discover the joy of sex, nobody should get in their way (except, you know. Unwilling witnesses.).>>35831197Regardless of whether or not I want to bang her, I said that she was hitting puberty as in she's starting to show interest in sexual matters. If she's the one that wants it, how can you judge whether or not she's emotionally mature for it?
>>35831269>giggleNever giggled.Maybe.....>stifled a laugh>chuckled>snickeredBut never giggled.
>>35822263You just met a PC.
>>35831192Yeah that makes sense, however you also have to take in additional modifiers:I personally like the more experienced woman so me being 20, max would probably be higher than the (20-7)*2=26.I have a sister 3 years younger than me, so i personally put the limit at 2 years younger than me because that's just weird by my standards (really not into incest, I know, that's a foreign concept to you all isn't it?
>>35831319No, I'd die right here and now of laughter. I wouldn't even have time to post.But I get where you're coming from. Well... no matter how we spin it, 4chan is, after all, kinda sorta our personal blog. I mean we're here to share personal experiences, it's just that the community has quite high standards for what qualify as "interesting" (oppositely to, say, tumblr or reddit), and isn't afraid to make it known. That's why there is better content on here than on other community-based websites, for me; because we're difficult to satisfy.That, and we genuinely enjoy weirdness and what-the-fuckery.All hail Satan's horse pussy, saint of the Jackless
>>35831347>That's a foreign concept to you all isn't it?Only to those who don't have people of their age related to them. And are into incest.
You guys actually deserve this, never change /tg/
>>35831360Wait... if 4chan is a site dumbened by the what-the-fuckery, sillyness, strange shit since it's birth and is now hard to pleasure...4chan is a giant collective mind, an almost A.I beeing that praises the jackless.ALL HAIL JACKLESS!PRAISE THE UNDESIRING!
>>35830233>From Flgs that guys, to blind seers lolis and french gaming to a god of porn redemption.Let's now add not-shit-finging debate about the morality of sex and the nature of 4chan. Damn. This IS random.
>>35831390From that guys, to autism, to blind seer loli and french guys, to the jackless and legal ages to fuck and meta-talk.Never change.
>>35831390i wonder if this is archivedhow do i archive?
Okay so we need screencaps before this thread disappears, that or archive it, but if we do screencaps, we need:>blind seer sharpshooter cousin>the jackless cultmake it so
>>35831398BURN SLAANESHI MINIONS>>35831425YO
>>35831430Cousing guy and jackless cultist here. Sorry, i'm on mobile.
>>35831430newfag here how do we archiveand what tags do we put in :/>>35831446damnit this aint helpin
>>35829666What if you use a 24h clock?
>>35831323Then you still have the whole health risks, such as teenage pregnancy, and legal concerns. If you or anyone are gonna do it just be safe, stay outta trouble, be happy, and good luck. That is all I am gonna say. >>35831347I know the feel man, I have a younger sister too, and now that she is getting older (HS junior), I've been kinda straying away from the younger gals. Sucks, because apparently I have a "older brother/fatherly" vibe to me, so it's usually younger girls who show interest.
>>35831467lucky you then.older girls show interest in me. i honestly dont know what they see in me but oh well
>>35831466Then refer to >>35830977and>>35831192
>>35831467>I have a "older brother/fatherly" vibe to meOh hey me too. Except I don't have younger relatives, so I could actually gf them if I knew one ;_;
GUYS TELL ME WHAT DO I NAME THIS THREAD ON ARCHIVE
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/35821782/Archived in the name of the Blind Seer, the Jackless and some french dude.
>>35831497the jackless is a french dude this thread really didn't need to be archived
>>35831467Strange, i have a older sister and i like younger/far older but younger than my mom range.I also have this "older brother vibe" and no one fucks my sister or my cousing or my friends feelings.Shit, am i overprotective?
>>35831497nevermind you did it for me. thanks m8
>>35831483Oh.Fun fact, on my mudhut country the age of consent is actually 14.What you see on the street of old guys hanging out with a teenager is off the charts.
>>35831505Yeah, it was good but not archive good.A screencap would've been better.
>>35831517in my country the age of consent is 21we have so little kids the government has just given up on us and is just telling foreigners to settle down :L
>>35831534if there was some more write or draw friends contributing to the jackless idea cit would be fine but we don't need another age of consent thread
>>35831534Yeah, wish i had an computer.Mine's broken for good.
>>35831557There is always the blind seer/french guys part of the thread.
>>35831632the amount of french fags around here is a little shocking
>>35831429>>35831457Everything autoarchives on foolz. For suptg, you need to nominate it - go with tags: Blind Seer Loli, Jackless, cult
>>35831676didn't foolz go down?
>>35831390It was great until it turned into some sort of circle-jerk and person-cult.
>>35831467Yeah, somehow I also have that "older brother" vibe and yeah, younger girls show interest in me. However, I kinda leave them be and go for the more insecure girls that are my age, almost an adopted brother/sister sort of thing.Now what doesn't make sense is why the older women (older by a few years but not old enough to be my mother) are interested in me, but then again, I've never understood the whole "older women attracted to 18-22 year old virigns" thing.
>>35831668France have actually a very good gaming community as shown earlier.But we tend to use so much english terms to discuss gaming anyways we prefer doing it on english sites unless we are doing meetups.
>>35831697it is now 255% more moe
>>35831706You kidding me? It was great before that and when that all showed up it added an aspect of humor to it, making it serious discussion that wasn't on the original topic with humor thrown in. (read as: beautiful)
This thread is way derailed, but fuck it, I have a story for you.>GM for a LGS's Pathfinder Society day, despite not being that great with the rules>One guy who comes every week, is the dread of the GMs, we'll call Reek>Terrible hygiene, often tries to derail PFS modules as if they were home campaigns, skeezes on all the girls in game and out>Always has a fucking 2 liter drink that he finishes in 20 minutes and then demands we wait while he makes multiple bathroom trips>Get Reek at my table>Great.>Doing a module that has since been discontinued due to lolmindcontrol at low levels>Have to go into a sewer, rescue someone, and kill a monster>Have Bob the Paladin, Reek, and a less important Rogue>The module goes normally, with Reek being obnoxious and Bob and the Rogue clearing shit out>The guy they're supposed to rescue is mind controlled>Reek rushes up and kills the guy anyway "because he was super evil">Great. One objective failed.>They go through the next area, chug their last healing potions like the geniuses they are>Bob is the first through, fails a will save, mind controlled>The Rogue uses high initiative to stealth away to the monster>Reek figues he can take on Bob and then the monster>Swings and misses at him>Bob's turn, hits him for 1/4th his health>Reek's face goes white>He tells me he's going to the bathroom >All three of us tell him it's almost over, sit down>Rogue sneak attacks the beast>Reek misses again>Bob rolls a critical...(cont)
>>35831706I never asked for this
>>35831734>Bob confirms crit>Knocks Reek down to 3 HP>Rogue is battling the monster all by himself>Reek finally lands a hit, does decent damage>Reek gets a smug as fuck look on his face>Lolnope>Bob uses his second to last lay on hands on himself and then still hits Reek>Reek's face turns bright purple>Yells at me about how I somehow let him die>Tell him to shut up and stabilize>He fails>Rogue gets hit HARD, goes down too>Bob fails to break free>Both fail to stabilize>Bob breaks free, rushes the beast and kills it in one blow>They both fail to stabilize due to shitty rolls>Bob uses his last lay on hands on the Rogue>Reek fails to stabilize>The Rogue stabilizes, Bob caries him out of there>Reek fails his check>fails one more>Fails his last check and dies>He starts crying and screaming about how "The Paladin was only told to attack he shouldn't have healed himself they can't be told to!">Wait, shit, is that the rule?>Bob says "Yeah, but that's how I fight. I heal myself when I can. No one told me to do it.">Reek's eyes start watering>Hear a soft trickling noise>Embarrassed by the puddle he made, Reek attempts to rectify the situation by flipping the table>His hands go underneath>I put my weight on it and tell him to get the fuck out>He cries and runs out the door>Shop owner comes up, we explain what happens>He gets a permanent ban placed on him>The only reason this hadn't happened before was because he spent all of his autism bux at the store
>>35831714Do you guys gain xp for surrendering for the BBEG?I've only assholes from french. I have this stigma against you guys, but i take you as an ok guy>>35831708Relax, brother, enjoy your christmass cake
>>35831729>riding some joke into the ground like this is 9gag>adding humorIt was interesting. Then faggotry happened.>>35831457>newfag hereFirst tip: drop the name.
>>35829752My girlfriend used to say she was asexual, but since her anxiety started to be more kept in control her libidos gone through the roof. Seems like she's making up for lost time.
>>35831761They get xp for fucking the BBEG
>>35831479Maybe they find you cute, funny, playful, and etc. Could be looks or the way you act. Just things in general you'd associate with someone younger than you. >>35831489You'll find one bro. >>35831512Maybe. Haha. I might have been over protective too. I was the oldest out of my group of friends, because of the whole birthday cut off, in enrollment for school. Also being an actual older/eldest sibling, it just kinda felt natural to dote on my younger friends and just look out for them. It has lead to some weird, embarrassing, and uncomfortable situations during high school . Some of the stuff amazes me whenever I look back. Might type them out here just for the hell of it.
>>35821855ORKIS DUN CARE BOUT PRUNUCIATION U STOOPID GIT
>>35831861Make one for blind seer and jackless, you bastard.
>>35831761>christmass cakeYeah...you're gonna have to explain this one to me, never heard of that
>>35828149>She is 14 nowLegal where I live. Is she cute?
>>35822263Autistic or not, he sounds like a Savant
>>35831926Older women.>>35831947Fuck off, dude. Bo one is giving her the D.
>>35832009I think we should let het decide, anon.
>>35830389Do you think digital watches are a beat idea?
>>35831926christmas cake as defined by urban dictionary, to me it has always meant a older women.A woman 26 years+ who is considered to be past her prime, undesirable, used goods and/or no good.The term originates from Japan where it is tradition to eat cake on Christmas. So a cake intended for Christmas that was not eaten or is left over is considered bad and should be thrown out. Japanese businessmen coined the term, once again emphasizing the Japanese desire for a young and virginal wife. Japanese women over the age of 26 most often have to rely on either a hastily semi-arranged marriage to a friend of the family or, more frequently, marry a foreigner as they are rarely aware of the stigma or don't care.
>>35831861you did it wrong
>>35832027only a lowly human would think that way>>35832009>>35832024let there only be cuddles and tea
>>35832033Thank you, I've learned more from you than from the 2 classes I was in today (yes I realize I could have learned if I wasn't on /tg/, but never mind that)But wait, if the cake is meant for Christmas, then it's probably made like the day or 2 before if it's a homemade one, it would still be good for a few more days after Christmas, possibly even to new year if you store it right.
>>35832024I will train her on her pen throwing just to fuck with your plans.No one touch her besides our jackless/cudles only anon.
>be me, 40k collector/modeler/painter>rarely play the game>show up to GW with rhino/termi fluff list>include a Fire Raptor Gunship Id just recently finished>regulars see Fire Raptor as I set up>DA guy I'm set to play (2+ DW Deathstar) throws a fit>entire group of regulars berate me for using FW>no one will play me>"store champion" Tau guy (formerly Taudar) agrees to play me>triple Riptide, suits, and ML gun line >proceeds to table me with a terrible display of sportsmanship >reminded of why I don't associate with other 40k hobbyists
>>35831192>Also neat fact in general most women prefer older guys, while guys like younger women. What about MILFs?
>>35832147what about them?
>>35831734>>35831745Reek, Reek, it rhymes with Geek.
>>35821782>Be 11 year old me getting Heroscape shit for Christmas>16 year old cousin plays 40k>Ask him if he wants to come over and try Heroscape with me>"You seriously wasted your parents money on a shit game anon, 40k or nothing.">He had no job>His dad funded his 40k army>Refused to teach me because I asked too many questions when I watched21 now and thinking about getting into 40k.
>>35832195Your cousin is shit-tier.Cousins should be like part-time brothers.
>>35832274Yeah he actually ended up quitting warhammer when he joined the Marines, gave his army to his brother who is just a year older than me.I recently bought an ork lot off ebay and the younger cousin gave me $50 towards my first 40k purchase to get into it with him.Pic Related - lot I won (came with case and citadel paint station)
>>35827537This is why Malkavians shouldn't be allowed internet connections...
>>35832323I remember this has it arrived yet?
>>35832323If i ever win the lotery, i will give you a full human army. pic related, i almost won. Shold have betted that ticket
>>35832450Nope, not till Friday / Saturday. They seller did not have an army list so I have no idea what models I am getting.>>35832455I will hold you too it.
>>35832518It's a promisse.If i ever get filthy rich, i will pay you an army and go whatever the fuck you live for a match.
>>35832518do an unboxing when you get it man I'm curious to see what you get.
>>35832549>>35832559I definitely plan to so I can have help identifying things. I still don't have a codex or rule book, just pdfs
>>35822489I played WHFB against adults all the time at my FLGS when I was 11. It's not that uncommon
Here is one from when I was but a wee hobby lad.>be 16 or so, just started 40k (5th ed) with some friends>we taught ourselves the game because we didn't have anyone more experienced to show us.>get small like 1000 point blood angels army (this is back in when blood angels were a white dwarf list that was worse than regular marines in every way)> decide I'm going to check out a LGS and play some 40k> guy with guard agrees to play me> warn him that I'm super new and that I may get stuff wrong or ask a lot of questions.> "don't worry," he says, he can "show me the ropes"> game starts, I am running a horrifically inefficient vanguard vet squad (my first box was an assault squad box, and I built it before reading the rules and just stuck on all the cool stuff)> he is running a couple of special weapon squads with plasma guns.> I deep strike the vets in, he blasts the with special weapons team.>this was a bad tactical move on my part but I had never faced guard, or plasma guns before>guys rolls his dice for the plasmas, rolls a shit ton of ones.> proceeds to "teach" me that when a plasma gun gets hot, it still hits. > "oh shit that's kinda cool" I think > he proceeds to take off all of my toys, I thank him for showing me the ropes.>take my newly found knowledge back to our little garage group.> I played it that way for about a year before somebody looked it up> everyone thinks I'm a cheating shitbag who made up this story.Fuck you rat faced guy, if I ever see you again I'm going nock your fucking block off.
>>35832888The moral of the story is, when in doubt, READ THE FUCKING BOOK.
>>35833025while those are indeed wise words, the true moral of the story is ALWAYS BE IN DOUBT ALL THE TIME FOREVER.
>>358315579k+1 hours in gimp
>>35833025Not that guy, but say you were just learning chess, and your opponent who's kindly told you they'd help you with the rules... And tells you of some moves (some of which you've heard of and others which you haven't) like en passant and bishop double-move and castling and rook overrun, why would you doubt them? Especially when young.
>>35821782I've been reading this thread all morning at school. Thanks, elegan/tg/entlemen for making my courses bearable. It's post mid-terms and there ain't shit to do but sit through lectures
>>35833522what a sad day for /tg/
>>35833569You sound like butt-devasteted. Do you need some help?
>>35833867I do actually
>>35833867so this dog I've had for something like 7 years now died last week and I'm reasonably upset about it but my girl is pushing me to go out and get another dog . I don't want to replace my beloved pet so fast makes me feel shitty but I don't want to piss off my girl what should I do sarcastic anon?
>>35833953There are plenty of girls. But there was one [your dog's name here]. And though it does come off as kinda sarcastic, I'm actually being honest ; you shouldn't get another pet as a replacement of your old one, it'll only remind you of how great your previous pet was, and it'll probably make the new one confused as to why you don't seem to like it even though it tries to satisfy you.
>>35833953talk with her about it and tell her that you fag
>>35834049I did but I have a history of depression and making rash decisions while depressed, so I can see why she is concerned about me potentially dwelling on it and letting things get out of control.>>35834035I could see myself having another pet just not one so soon.
To get back to the French gaming... I was on vacation to France 16 years ago, and found a store selling warhams in Lons-Le-Saunier, a standard town in the Jura. They were more expensive than at home though, so I didn't buy anything. And hasn't there been GW stores in Paris for a long time? Shouldn't be that new.
>>35833953My dog died two weeks ago. The house is so empty without him.We had him for 16 years...
>>35833953>>35834163The feeling of not wanting a pet right now will instantly disappear once you're confronted with a happy lil' puppy. You want to be happy, your gf wants you to be happy, and old yeller would have wanted you to be happy too.