Previous Episodes: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Skyship%20Crutch4Captain's Log.Stardate: 4 O'Clock.We've progressed through the Rebel-Controlled sector, assisting the surprising amount of friendly Federation hidden bases. Seriously, this "Entrenched Rebel Zone" is, at the very least, half Federation spies and hidden bunkers. I kept expecting traps of some sort, but, nope, just friendlies. It may seem a little weird that I'm disappointed by friendlies, and it is. I don't really know why.
After a brief scuffle with an Elite Rebel Cruiser after their fleet caught up with us (Perhaps that was the trap and this was all some kind of Double-Bluff?) I take a moment to look over the readouts, and examine the ship. Firepower is, shall we say, sufficient. We have heavy defenses combined with an outstanding offense. Fuel is low, as well as our engine's power; we're unlikely to be able to pull off any evasive maneuvers in this retrofitted medical ship. But the SkyShip Crutch4 is serving us well. Us being myself, the Droids R3D0 and C2P2, the Prostitute/Gunman/Slugman Dr. Mr. Derek, and the Engineering Engi Nikolai.
With the main body of the Rebel Fleet hot on our heels, we need to move! Luckily, we're near the Long-Distance Jump Ring, allowing us to move to the next sector. We're in range of two; a nondescript Civvie cluster, and the Zoltan homeworlds. Assording to my guidebook, the Zoltan are some form of Space-Roach, or something, maybe. This thing hasn't proved to be accurate in the past, and I don't personally know.
>>36214895Civie sector, fuck the nebula
>>36214895RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS. Zoltan in common.
As an aside, the Zoltan cruiser quest is quite easy normally. Heavy emphasis on 'normally'.
Reading further into the guidebook, Captain Hinderson notes an interesting line."The Zoltan are noted for being religious zealots."Onwards towards Space-KKK!
>>36215080Space North, into the neb
We head SpaceNorthward, deeper into the nebula! Hopefully, these think clouds will slow the Rebel fleet.We emerge from the mists of ice and particulates, into a clearing of sorts. We've encountered a Rebel auto-scout, lying in wait for us to appear! It appears heavily armed, and scans are reading they've sent a hacking drone towards us as well! Conflict is unavoidable, what are our tactics?
>>36215322Ion blast aimed at shields, flack aimed at weapons, hull laser across shields and engine.And turn your drone on.
>>36215433Scratch that, switch the flack and ion.And don't fire your laser until their shields are down.
>>36215322I think our drone is dead.Hold the drone in until the hack ends. All guns on enemy weapons, they have too much gun.
>>36215322Flak at weapons/hacking, Ion is only ever going to hit shields, laser wherever. Don't bother turning the drone on till hacking is off, if it's needed.
>>36215433That hacking module is heading strait for the drone control.
>>36215433>>36215458Hah.Go with the first post, ignore the last. I still stand by waiting for the hack to end then deploying the drone.
The beginning of the fight is a wild flurry of gunshots; their multi-shot weapons seem to charge at an astounding rate! We take multiple missile shots before we're able to drill into their shields and destroy the scouts weaponry, but as soon as we do, it's an easy win.
We gather up the substantial scrap, and take a guess as to where to go from here, with our limited fuel.
>>36215581Thank god that space gas didn't explode or become effected in anyway.
>>36215612Space north east
>>36215612Northeast. That looks like it'll give us the most links to unchecked beacons, which means more chances to find a shop for refueling.
>>36215612Northeast if it connects to all neighboring systems
>>36215612Space northeast.Looks lootilicious.
We jump, and almost immediately receive a hail."Hello, we're a bunch of fresh, nubile young Zoltan college students. Would you mind if we unzipped your genes? We've never seen people like you before, and we're feeling a bit... experimental."Oh wow
>>36215729Oh.Oh my.Kirk would be jealous.Let's get in on this... "Study"
>>36215729Participate, there should be a shop soon, if they ambush us, we can survive and repair, if they don't, lots of resources
>>36215729Set phasers to love!
>>36215896Is that like electricity play?Speaking of which, I bet Zoltan are really into that...
We all start adjusting our ties as we begin to dock, when suddenly, the alarms go off! There are intruders on board! Barely audible over the blaring noise, we can hear a quiet, tinny warble through the comms: "It's pirates, we're hostages! We're also bald fat men, you're not missing anything, don't worry."
>>36215969IT'S A TRAP! LITERALLY!literally
>>36215969Get slugmun into that door room and use the rang 3 doors to suffocate those intruders in the cold void of space!
>>36215969Alright.I'm into a little roleplay.Now let's roleplay the SHIT out of their hull.
>>36215969man the doors, and vent them. All weapons and drones against their teleporter till they retreat, then against their shields. flak should.
>>36216043They don't got no TP. Target shields and tear them apart, they have little armament.
>>36215969Huzzah! A trap!Now lets teach them about gaping by venting them into the vast gape of space!
>>36216089Is that a clone bay i'm looking at then?
>>36216180ah, disregard me then
>>36215969Captain Hinderson. Come on, now. Give yourself a real challenge and try to get through atleast half a sector without destroying a ship. Aim for the oxygen. Hack their door controls. Mind control their biggest guy and have him break everyone.
>>36215969Bah, Slug pirates. You've got to watch out for those fellows.It looks like they've got a Zoltan manning the weapons. Target there; you might be able to kill it. Know what happens when a Zoltan dies? It's pretty interesting.
The intruders manage to, somehow, outrun the vacuum of space.This is worrying.But we send everyone into the Engine room, waiting for them to bust through! And when they do, half-dead already from the aggressive foreplay of asphyxiation, a fight breaks out! We're sure to win though, probably, maybe.>>36216199Meanwhile at the helm, having brutally penetrated their shields with our large pieces and breaking the thin, pulsing layer that was their shield-hex, Captain Hinderson takes the initiative to swap weapon targets; a few brief shots to the O2 with consistent fire on the shields should kill all members on-board, allowing for enhanced looting!At least, that's how Hinderson is imagining it will play out.
>>36216234There was a glitch in the viewscreen mainframe membrane! Apologies!
>>36216254close up those doors lest they damage our life support!This plan should work though. Keep it up.
>>36216254Keep an eye on our shield.
>>36216228This guy makes a good point. You ever have a ship where you forgo weaponry for the most part, focusing on defense and mobility, with 1 or two Zoltan crew members and a clone bay/teleporter combination? Who needs weapons when you space drown your enemies in a tide of exploding Garies.
We pepper them lightly, just enough to knock out both the shield and O2. But, we appear to have severely underestimated their weapons capabilities, and we take heavy hits! Their laser busts through our hull like it isn't even there. A swift barrage of our charged weapons finishes them off.
>>36216455We contact the scientists, and they thank us with another drone we'll never use. They also realize that little speech followed by pirate fight might've made us feel a little pent up, so they offer us some oiled massages.Oiled massages performed by fat, sweaty, flabby energy-men.Nikolai grabs his camcorder, sets it up, then accepts. Weirdo.
After everyone declines his Nikolai's offers to watch his newly-shot "Improv comedy," we debate as to where to head. There's a weak distress signal coming from SpaceNorth, but is it worth our time?C2P2 also informs us that we are, once again, fuckrich. We could upgrade if we wanted.
>>36216541Don't upgrade till the shop.Always check the distress.
>>36216490>>36216541Distress signal? Spacenorth to the trap we go!Also, anti-combat drone? what kind of granola-eating, peace-loving, spacehippy bullshit is that? Shoot it out of our flak gun at the next spacepirate ship we encounter. Or sell it. Whichever comes first.
>>36216586No, we ought to hang on to the Anti-Combat Drone. Drone attacks can be lethal in the late game, especially against a ship with a mostly Engi crew.
We head to the distress signal, only to find an empty shell of a ship. We immediately get to Scrappin' and Lootan'."But Captain," says Dr. Mr. Derek, "maybe we should find out what happe"Scrap." says Captain Hinderson."But they might be in trouble and need our he"Money."
>>36216629What's an anti-combat drone gonna do in that kinda situation? Reason with them? Who the hell wants to bother with a conscientious objector drone, anyway?
>>36216675space east now
>>36216490You'll want that drone for the flagship.
After tearing apart the ship to the point that if they came back they couldn't even go anywhere, we set course for...?
>>36216709Space east for sure we need a shop.
>>36216675Repair our ship!
Aaah, so glad they set up that space rest sto- WHAT THE FUCK!?
>>36216709Spess east hoo!
Jumping forward, we find a peacful, unarmed convoy loudly shouting how peaceful and unarmed they are.Obviously the correct choice here is to open fire and piss on their flaming corpses, right?Right?
>>36216807ITS A MISSIONARY SHIP, KILL IT WITH FIRE!
>>36216807Listen to them. The Zoltan are pretty weird and dogmatic, but they can be helpful as long as you stay within the law.
>>36216807Hear them out you fuck.And you'd better not mess this up.
>>36216807Listen to them - we're out of toilet paper, and their brochures are the next best thing.
>>36216807Oh! Maybe we can recruit one of them! Then we just need to get a clone bay and a teleporter and we'll be well on our way to unlimited homemade bombs.
>>36216807hear them out
We hear them out, and they proceed to quote their bible; "Qrhthtye's Fourth Treatse on Trigonometry."Whatever, weird energy dudes.
>>36216807Hear them out. We aren't the rebels; we don't just go around shooting aliens without a good reason.
>>36216886Neat. If they think we're listening to them, they'll be more inclined to listen to us.
As we prepare to leave and throw our space-trash at these idiots, they send us a panicked hail!"Wait! Please, don't go! Actually, do go, but tell our nerdy religious alien friends all about how we met you guys, they'll be so impressed!"Nerds! As far as the eye can see! Awkward-ass alien nerds!
>>36216923space east only choice
>>36216923Space east, off to their nerdy religious friends! this is how you get the Zoltan ship.
>>36216923Okay, set a course for the right!
>>36216923>>36216923>>36216923onwards to the quest point I guess
We set course for the Quest Marker (That's what they called it, not my wording here) but are interrupted halfway there by a Rebel scout! The captain claims that killing us is just his orders, but Hinderson can see a bit of himself in the young Rebel commander. That glint in his eye, those slightly-sharpened teeth. He just loves killing things, and Hinderson can admire that.But he needs to be destroyed, because two Hindersons would be too much. Strategies?
>>36216923Well, time to go spaceeast; heading into that spiral of beacons around the exit.
>>36217002Flak tbeir shields, ion their weapons, beam across weapons and engine.And drone because fuck them.
>>36217041This I guess
>>36217002That's a shield drone they've got. We need to hit them hard and fast before it builds their shields up too much. Target the drone control center, and deploy our own combat drone to help out.
>>36216437Your plan... its sadistically brilliant.
Scanners report chaos on their ship. Hull breaches, fires breaking out, malfunctioning life support through entirely unpredictable, random circumstances, what a coincidence! They hail us with a wild "OH GOD SPARE US PLEASE."But this man, their captain, is a killer. Hinderson is wary to let them go.
>>36217150Kill them siphon fuel.
>>36217150We shall not accept surrender. Not from a potential scourge like this kid.
>>36217150Don't let them go. If they had tried talking to us before attacking, we'd consider it, but if they just go around shooting people like that, they're too much of a danger.On a lesser note, we might gain some much-needed fuel if we blow them up.
Rolled 2 (1d6)>>36217150I beseech the almighty Dice Gods for their input!Evens is death by explosions in space. Odds is shame of survival.Either way, make sure to educate the young captain on the most important rule of space captaining...Don't die.
We don't even give him the dignity of a response.Or, rather, we do, in the form of a concentrated beam of protons to the helm. We gather what we can from the wreck, and leap for the Quest Marker (Who calls things that outside of video games, jeez?)
>>36217150>>36217222The Dice Gods have spoken.There can only be one Cap'n Hinderson.
We reach the marker, and find a Rebel ship charging right at us! Attempting to prevent the same thing from happening to this poor schmuck what happened to the last Rebel captain, we consider hailing them. DO we do so?
>>36217275I love a good trap. Attempt the hail them so we can kill them with are bare bloody fists like men
>>36217275might as well......
>>36217275Attempt to hail them.We just ended that Hinderson, and this one shows hesitation.I want you to get that Zoltan ship, dammit.
>>36217275Hail. The Zoltan sent us here, so this is obviously something weird.
>>36217275Confuse them with the Zoltan clap trap that was just spouted at you
We hail them. What hippy-dippy peacetalk nonsense do we spout at them?
>>36217324Quick, fire brochures at them from the flak cannon!
>>36217331Perhaps there could be a reconciliation of our ideals without war?
>>36217275Well...the peace lovin' hippies sent us here. Maybe they sent the rebs here too? Hail them to find out. At best we make some new drinking buddies. At worse, we add to the scrap collection then go back and blast those Zoltan for sending us into a trap. The beautiful bastards.
>>36217331Hippy talk numero 1.
>>36217343disregard this mongrol. Choose option 1. We will lure them into a gentlemanly trap
Let's try 1
>>36217331Option 1. They obviously aren't afraid of violence, but they might let their guard down if they think you're actually considering their viewpoint.
>>36217373I just want them to understand the mantra behind it...besides, that wasn't a vote.
>>36217331Start with Volume 1: Finding a Middle Ground In Space(option 1)
>>36217331And then we should feed them some bullshit like "True progress can only be achieved without bloodshed", or something like that.Really catch me off guard.
We tell them that the Rebels actually have some decent points, but they don't halt in their aggressiveness. To make this more entertaining for himself, Hinderson likens this to some form of pussy-flavored deadly combat."Hah, my opening move! You almost certainly have some good points which I will be unable to refute, and in fact, I agree with many of them! However, I do not agree on all cases, and we should find a common casue, HOOOOOOOOOOOO-YAA!""No, Hinder-San, your speech-fu is weak, for you have not properly considered my entire viewpoint! My faction views yours as weak and foolish, I do not want compromise with you, for I disagree with you on every ground! HEEEEEEEEEEE-YOH!"Hinderson loves terrible movies.
>>36217471For the record, this >>36217434 is a vote for number 2.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>36217471Let the dice decide
>>36217471What this guy said >>36217434
>>36217471Number 2, because of the hippies!
>>36217471The second one, "True progress can only be achieved without bloodshed." If we tell them to go somewhere else instead of killing all the aliens, they might take it as a threat.
>>36217471Continue to babble peaceful hippy shit at them. In the meantime, make sure we're charging all of our weapons up so we can get the drop on them.
>>36217497The dice are WRONG!Now prepare to be executed for the glory of the federation!What's that?We don't do that?...Fuck.
"I disregard your opinion, as your methods are unjust! War is not the answer, man! Now, prepare for my five-point diplomatic attack! UUuuuuuuuurrrrrr... DEMOCRACY! EQUAL RIGHTS! FREEDOM! JUSTICE! EQUALITY! YAA!"The Rebel ship fades away, obviously in fear from the FIVE-POINT DIPLOMATIC TECHNIQUE, and a Zoltan mothership uncloaks from nearby! A Zoltan envoy teleports onboard, and congratulates us all on being hippies, juuuust liiiike theeeeem. He then asks us for directions to the teleporter so he cna get back to the mothership.I think they just assumed that we'd have a teleporter. Oh well, sucks for him!
>>36217591But what is this Envoy's name, and what's his story?And more importantly, why is he the best at everything forever? I mean, holy shit.
>>36217591Put him on the engines, we have such cruddy evasion
>>36217591Sorry Hinderson, but it looks like you're gonna be giving up the helm.
>>36217652Scratch that.He goes in the engines.>>36217624His name is hippie McGee. He truly believes in the "love and peace for all, man" philosophy, and wishes to help spread the love and peace through judicious application of peace lasers.
>>36217591His name is Hippy McDrumCircleHis parents we're very zealous you know
>>36217624Clearly that is Codename: 'Gary 1.'Now to the nearest store! We have Zoltan accessories to purchase!
His name is Hippy McGee, and he wants to spread peace and love across the universe with us. Luckily, he has no knowledge of weapon specifics, and is willing to believe all we're packing is nonlethal, Ion weaponry. And won't question why we won't let him look out the windows.We assign him to Shield duty, because that's actually the only station we have that isn't manned by a Master crewman! R3D2 gets shuffled around to door duty, as there isn't really another place for him.Hinderson recalls the coordinates of a shop we passed on the way to this Peace-Trap. He can hear the call of deals from here...
>>36217825Lets go shopping. And repairs, we need those. After that, lets upgrade our power and shields. Maybe get enough power to turn the medbay back on at least?
>>36217624His name is Ambassador Sunshine. He got into politics in hopes of advancing Zoltan interests, but quickly grew frustrated with his people's dogmas and traditions getting in the way of important things like fighting off invading aliens. He's just been repeating the party lines for the past few years, hoping to find another ship who would be able to help him. He was "stranded" on the Crutch4 because its captain showed that he knew when and how to doubletalk, and could be a good help in protecting the Zoltan from the Rebels.
>>36217876Oh wait, DERP! We can do that now. With the extra energy Hippy provides, we have an extra... unit. Of Energy. Turn the medbay on.
>>36217825We have time and fuel to go around collecting more scrap. So space south east. Just make sure we stop by that space autozone on our way out of the sector.
>>36217825If possible, go back one beacon, then head down to the store for repairs and upgrades. If not, then head to the beacon, then jump to the shop.
We head back one beacon, and then drop down into the shop. The Zoltans in charge look more comfortable selling bobbleheads than heavy weaponry, but they have it in stock regardless.
>>36217957I've taken the liberty to fix our hull. They have some upgrades lying around!
>>36217825Shields make sense for a peacenik, anyways.>>36217892The medbay is on.
>>36217977Automated reloader and mind control.
>>36217957Clone Bay.Teleporter.After that...whatever everybody else says.
>>36217957Fuel and cloak! Then upgrade cloak to level 2 and engines to 4. Now we don't need to fear the rebel fleet as we recharge fast enough under cloak to get out.
>>36218005There is neither of those, mate.
>>36218005>>36217977>>36217957Wait...they don't have them. Dammit. This place sucks! Save your money to spend elsewhere. Just get some space base necessities like fuel and repairs.
>>36217977>>36217957GAS! WE NEED SPACE GAS!
I've bought all their fuel.I see one for cloak and one for mind control. And don't forget, we still have upgrades to do as well!From my take, mind control interest me, just because I've never used or seen it used.
Shields would be nice.
>>36218078save the scrap. maybe do an upgrade. everything here sucks
>>36218078Mind and engines then.
>>36218078I'm telling you, Cap'n. You ever see the level of destruction that an army of cloned Zoltans teleported onto an enemy ship can reap? They distract the enemy crew from their duties while you shoot at them, I'm using 'them' broadly mind you, and then when they die they explode.Save a majority of cash for now.
>Two for save the majorityWhoops!We go on a brief shopping spree, buying a Mind-Control Ray, (Nikolai making inappropriate comments the whole time) before making a stop at SpAAAce and getting our engine tuned up. Where to next? We have a little time before the Rebels catch up, but not much.
>>36218197welp, so much for throwing wave after wave of our men to die in glorious combat
>>36218197Looks like it's time to skedaddle
>>36218197Head to the exit. After we clear out that spot, we'll have time to skip to one more before going back and leaving the sector.
>>36218197Go to the unvisited location and see what we can dredge up. From there, and I'm gonna hate myself for it when I see they have a teleporter and a clone bay, go to the store.
>>36218197Other store! Other Store!
>>36218197To the exit and skedaddle. Those rebels are too close for comfort.
We jump right to the Beacon, promising to go to other areas and explore. We're approached by a trader with some excess Not-Buggy-At-All Lightly Used Better Than New drones! He wants our precious space gas though, do we make the deal?
>>36218287Whoops, the polarity of the monitor was reversed!
>>36218301Fuck that, fuel is more precious to us than blood.
>>36218301Tell them to keep their sex drones and shove off to the next checkpoint.
>>36218301Nah, we've already got more drones than fuel.
We politely decline their offer, because, quote, "Fuck you, we could make drones out of eachother's bones if we really needed to, but we can't make fuel. Fuck you, so much. We need this fuel."We could hook in to the Jump-Ring, or we could visit the only available point before the rebels are upon us. What do?
>>36218395Let's head to that exit
>>36218395Visit the last jump point. There's enough time.
>>36218395best move on to the next sector. Whilst quoting of course, the fresh prince of Space.
>>36218395Visit the last one.Technically it's a waste of fuel but who gives a fuck?
>>36218395Jump point. Plenty of time
We find a Rebel ship lying in wait for us... past the Beacon. I mean, we did end up going here so their plan worked, but that was some terrible planning on their part. What if we just left? They'd just sit out there until they got passed by their own fleet.Anyhoo, how are we going to kill them all?
>>36218506Max charge everything then aim at meds, O2 and drones.Before shooting, mind control the pilot.
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>36218506Mind control their pilot to kill their evasion and aim weapons at their drone control. When those are offlineline we deploy our own drone and have our way with their ship.
>>36218506Deploy the anti-combat drone. Their drones look unkind.Also, use mind control on the guy in their weapons room.
>>36218530To add to this, keep mind controlling as much as possible. Aim for anyone repairing/piloting.
>>36218578Anti combat only defends. No offense.
After mind-controlling the ships captain, only to make him say "I'm a dummy dumb-dumb" repeatedly, they get the message that we don't even think they're worth waisting our time with, and offer a hefty reward for leaving them alone.
>>36218630No fuel?!Keep blasting them.
>>36218630I think we should take the offer this time. Less risk of additional damage.
>>36218630Take the offer. That gun's pretty valuable.
>>36218630That's actually pretty good, but our ion gun is better. Blow them up!
>>36218630Free gun? Sure. We can sell that later on.
>>36218630Let's take it
>>36218630More dakka. MOAR DAKKA!!!Take the gun.
We accept their proposal, and install the new gun. It charges about four times as slowly as our outer Ion gun, but for each burst it fires, it charges quicker and deals more damage! I think it's better, but that remains to be seen. Combat tests are in order, of course.Otherwise, this sector has been a breeze, and thanks to some skillful diplomacy, we've been granted access to Zoltan ships should we ever need them for future missions! I'd call this expedition a rousing success.I'm going to call it quits for tonight, thanks for playing! Questions, critiques, anything like that?
>>36218842Really fun thread, thanks! When's the next one?
>>36218842Needs more weaponized hippies.
>>36218884Don't know a day, but I always try to start around 10PM EST. Just check the board around then.
>>36218842Thanks for running. Love your own fluff tibtips in between. Waiting for the next run :)
>>36218842I put it up on the thread archive. Was that a satisfactory archival?
>>36218895Have you considered setting up an interstellar bluebird based messenger service for this?